#fight me in the parking lot juries

[superwholocklotr95]

All I'm saying is that when you can hear people complaining loudly during your points announcement, something is very wrong.

[lexirosewrites]

Steddie as rival lawyers who have very different careers.

Steve became a prosecuting attorney after graduating from a top school at his parents’ insistence. It pays well and makes them happy, even if it’s joyless for him to fight for things he doesn’t believe in.

Prosecuting innocent people and fighting for the sake of money without morals.

On the other end of the spectrum is free-spirited Eddie Munson. He’s a defense attorney who shows up in ill-fitting suits that show off his many neck and hand tattoos. Piercings in his ears and hair that’s not tidy or tamed in any way.

He’s a rebel who barely graduated from some lower tier law school with no prestige whatsoever.

Steve naturally assumed their first trial would be a breeze.

But somehow— sheer dumb luck, bad jury selection, or just stupid fate— Eddie wins. And he keeps winning.

Over and over for months.

Steve’s long uninterrupted winning streak becomes a losing one. If Eddie’s in the courtroom too, Steve knows he’s already lost his case.

It’s humbling.

Actually, it’s frankly embarrassing to lose to someone who’s so unprofessional and doesn’t take the law seriously like Steve.

Eddie is respectful of course, but he doesn’t use lawyer-speak unless he’s referencing a precedent of a law. Other than that, he’s overly casual and friendly. Everyone’s favorite lawyer.

He doesn’t lack passion though. No, the guy all but hops up on tables to make speeches about freedom or the American dream during every trial. Utterly ridiculous.

It works though. The juries fall for his bullshit about being down to earth and his clients walk free because of it.

Steve can’t stand it. He can’t stand Eddie and his mockery of his career.

This ultimately culminates in a confrontation in the parking lot one night after a particularly tense trial conclusion.

Once again, Eddie’s guy walked free and Steve knows he’s gonna hear about it from his boss (who also happens to be his dad).

So he might snap a bit when Eddie comes out whistling and looking happier than anything.

“Hey, jackass!”

Eddie looks around like Steve might be referring to some other jackass, despite the otherwise empty parking lot.

He points to himself in question and Steve rolls his eyes in answer.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Eddie finally greets him with a smirk. “Chinese takeout for tonight sound good?”

Steve’s stomach growls at the mere suggestion.

He’d accidentally skipped lunch earlier so he could make changes to his closing argument. Fat load of good that did him.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. You’re not off the hook that easily though. What the hell was that brutal cross examination on my witness, you dickhead?”

Eddie smiles extra sweetly and presses a quick but affectionate kiss to Steve’s forehead first.

“All’s fair in love, war, and court, baby. You can whine about it later when we’re home if you really want to. I happen to know some very nice pillows that would love to muffle your pretty little moans.”

Asshole.

He blushes, glancing around to make sure they’re still alone before he pulls Eddie into an embrace.

They’ve barely spent any time together this week because of the tense trial and he really missed his boyfriend (not to be mistaken for the jackass who argues with him daily in the courtroom).

As much as they can separate their personal and work lives, it’s hard to not be on the same side of things.

“What if I want you to hear me moan, Eddie? I think it’s only fair since you seem to get everyone else off and I’m the one always suffering for it,” he mumbles snarkily into Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie laughs at the pun. He knew that he would.

“Is that why you’re sulking, babylove? You want me to get you off too?” He nods with a pathetic whine. Not getting to cum for a few days can do that to a person. “I think that can be arranged. You’ve been such a good boy for me lately. You’ve earned a treat.”

Steve melts into his boyfriend’s arms, feeling loved.

“I missed you.”

Another kiss to the forehead, but this time Eddie’s lips linger there as he speaks.

“Missed you too, sweetheart. Not sorry for winning, but I am sorry that you lost.”

Steve knew the defendant was innocent. There wasn’t much of a case to be made anyway. It still stings though.

“Yeah... I’ve been thinking about that and it might be time to quit my dad’s firm. I’d much rather be on the same side as you,” Steve confesses.

Eddie pauses.

“Does that mean…”

Steve looks up smiling and confirms, “Yes. I’ll accept the job offer if it’s still on the table.”

The rival lawyer had offered him a job months ago, before they even got together.

By accepting the position, it means they’d finally be allowed to be a couple publicly and they’d be sitting on the same side of the court for once.

It would also free Steve from his dad’s control and disappointment.

“Stevie, I’d love nothing more than to have you as my partner. In both the court and life. I love you, sweetheart.”

He can’t resist.

“I love you too… jackass.”

Eddie makes good on his promise to get Steve off that night. He even brings out the handcuffs for accuracy sake.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Hopeless: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: You and your lawyer try to fight your unlawful arrest but it's not looking good. The entire team feels your loss and tries to concentrate on the case at hand. None of them can predict the outcome.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The talk with your lawyer has taken up almost an hour but you're not getting anywhere you thought you'd get. You see all the evidence piled up against you such as the weapons that came from your home. All the murders happened when you weren't out of state with the team, so you can't use that to back up where you've been. Whoever did this must have been watching you for a long time to know when you were home and when you weren't. Even when you were without Spencer. You're completely alone in this. No one is going to help you.

"I'm going to say this again. I didn't do this. I am an FBI agent who swore to protect people. I put everyone before me. I am an empathic psychic. I am surrounded by death every day. I see things no one should see. I use my gift to help others and to bring justice to those who deserve it. Why would I go out of my way to take lives when I promised to protect them? Why would I put the man I love through that pain?"

"I hear you. Based on what you're telling me, it sounds like you didn't do it. However, a jury isn't going to go off your word. They're going to go off the evidence. The evidence all points to you. I don't want you to panic. I'm very good at my job. All we have to do is find inconsistencies with the evidence to sway the jury into looking in the opposite direction."

"How likely is it to be declared innocent?"

"I'll do whatever I can to make that one hundred."

"What's the best case scenario? I need to know all my options." Steven looks a bit apprehensive so you try to convince him. "Please, Steven. I have to know."

"The best case scenario is you get to go back to work, and they try to figure out who did this. This becomes an active investigation, one which I believe they'd ask the FBI for help. A less fun option would be you're proven innocent, but you lose your job in the process." 

Your bottom lip trembles at the thought of losing your job for something you never did.

"What's the worst case?" you whisper.

"The worst case is you go to prison for a very long time."

You put your head down on the table and just sob. Meanwhile, there is another murder so the team heads over there to check it out. There are more victims in a public place this time instead of in someone's home. These unsubs don't care about anything or anything. They will slaughter anyone they want and ruin everything in the process.

"Did anybody see anything?" Hotch asks the detective.

"It's in the middle of the damn parking lot. The security camera only shows the door."

"Who's the lady over there?" Derek asks.

There is an older woman talking to an officer about what she witnessed or found.

"A manager. She discovered the bodies when she came by to open up for the breakfast crowd."

"I'll go talk to her," JJ says and leaves.

"Any idea who the victims are?"

"Judging by the driver's license, one of them's a waitress here. It says Jessica Miller, and the other one's probably Doug Taylor."

"You can't tell for sure?" Derek asks the detective.

"Honestly, you can't make an ID by looking at them."

"They're definitely getting bolder. These kills were in public. If this is supposed to be about symbolism, it's not anymore. This is a blue-collar restaurant and the victim is a waitress. There's no ideology behind this. It's about violence and power."

"They actually sat here and drank beer after the murder," the detective says in disgust.

"They're telling us that they don't care. They're like those outlaws that ride into town and let you know the only way to stop them Is by killing them," Spencer says.

"If that's what they want, I know plenty of cops who'd be happy to oblige."

"Detective, we need to keep our heads," Hotch sighs.

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that this level of nihilism, this randomness, it can have a mirror impact."

"Are you warning me not to go after some kind of revenge?"

"All I'm saying is this level of brutality is almost like a challenge from the unsubs and trying to drag everyone down to their level. It's a natural reaction."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Let's head back. We've got our profile."

The team and the detective head back to the BAU so that the team can give the profile. Penelope greets them as soon as they step out of the elevator but her eyes are drawn to Spencer in the back. His eyes are cast down and he looks so sad. He hobbles past her and she looks at Derek and Emily with concern.

"How is he doing?"

"Not good."

"You have company, Derek."

There is a woman off to the side looking at Derek eagerly. He breaks off from the group to talk to her while the rest enter the bullpen to give the profile out.

"These men are completely disenfranchised. They feel like they have nothing to live for, and they're looking for anyone or anything to blame. There's a lot of anger out there. Times are tough, but even so, these men will stand out. They'll look to provoke confrontation. They don't steal from their victims. They don't sexually assault the women. This is about violence for violence's sake," Hotch begins.

"It's almost contagious. It's twisted, but it's got its own momentum. What we need to do is figure out how these men came together. We feel certain that they have some connection to Southeast D.C. They go unnoticed and don't seem out of place. We have no prints from the crime scenes, so we believe the unsubs wear gloves. DNA testing could take weeks, and we don't have that kind of time."

"The majority of the population of Southeast D.C. is black, but if the unsubs work in this area, they could be any race. Because of the physical nature of the murder and the amount of control these unsubs exert over their victims, we believe that these unsubs are large or at least extremely physically fit. They have a pack mentality. Canvass the local bars and restaurants and see if there's a group of men who fit this description," Rossi says.

"These men will be obsessed with the media coverage for any chance to relive their crimes. So, stake out the past crime scenes. There's a good chance that they'll revisit them. They most likely come from troubled backgrounds like broken homes, or youth detention centers. They probably bonded over their anger, and now it's like they've become one person. It's their whole identity."

"See, these guys, they think of themselves as some type of gangsters, like society's rules don't apply to them. They equate violence with power and respect, and that goes for self-respect as well," Emily says.

"What could they possibly get out of killing innocent people for no reason?" a female officer asks Emily.

"People like this, they're not like you and me. They don't feel empathy. In a way, they only feel alive when they're creating fear and chaos."

"Thank you," Hotch concludes the profile. He ushers the detective to the side to speak to him privately. "Detective. I just wanted to say that at the crime scene, it was not my intention to accuse you of being unprofessional."

"Yeah?"

"It's just that I know what it's like to work a case that makes you question humanity, and it's not the worst thing to remind yourself to rise above it a little, or we lose ourselves."

"I appreciate you giving my team the profile."

Things aren't going as smoothly as Hotch had hoped, and things aren't going smooth for you either. Once you and Steve were finished talking, two officers came in to talk to you with Steve present. You're trying really hard not to show signs of anxiety, so you sit on your hands to prevent them from tapping the desk, and you cross your legs so you don't bounce your legs. Steve is here to prevent you from answering certain questions that can incriminate you or make you look bad, so he'll jump in when he needs to.

"Where were you on the night of September 2nd?" Officer Sparks asks.

"At home."

"Can anyone confirm your whereabouts for that night?"

"No, I was home alone. My boyfriend was out with his best friend, Derek Morgan."

"Where were you on the night of September 4th?"

They keep asking you where you were on each night of all seven murders, and the only answer you have is that you were alone for all of them. Some nights you were at home, some nights you were taking a drive, and one night you were at the gas station. You paid cash, so there is no receipt showing your card number or anything.

"So, you're telling me that you were alone for all seven murders with no one to back up your whereabouts, and we found your DNA on all seven victims. Your hair and prints were found not only on the victims but on the murder weapons as well. You're sticking with the story that you don't know who these men are?" Officer Arnolds asks.

"The murder weapons are items that she owns. Of course, there will be prints on them. Are you not ruling out that someone could have stolen those items from her place of residence?" Steve jumps in.

"Oh, we're keeping all our options on the table. I'm just confused as to why Chase Williams has her hair on him when she claims she never met him. Do you think the wind just blew her hair from her hairbrush to his body?"

You can't say anything about that.

"Don't you think it's convenient that the murders took place when she wasn't out being an FBI agent?"

"The murders and her whereabouts are a coincidence."

"A coincidence? That's the story you're sticking with?"

"It's not a story," you blurt. "It's the truth. I didn't kill these men."

This isn't going well, and you're not sure if these officers are going to listen to reason. It seems to you that they have everything they need to make this a closed case. A closed case with a potential suspect is better than an open investigation with no suspects. It's hard on the team since Penelope can't look into your case. She has all the details on her computer which is just a click away, but she hesitates to open the files. Hotch's words come back to haunt her so she turns away from your file and focuses on what he asked her to do. Once she has the information, she leaves her office to go to his.

"Sir, I've got something. I've been monitoring social networking sites to see if the unsubs communicate electronically. There's a text that's blowing up. I sent it to your phone. There are over a thousand hits already. It's a plan to vandalize cars and restaurants around Dupont Circle."

"When does the text say this is supposed to happen?"

"Tonight at nine."

"Dupont circle's not in the unsubs' usual comfort zone," Rossi says.

"It's not like these unsubs to share control," Hotch calls the detective to warn him of the attack. "Detective Andrews, this is Agent Hotchner. I just sent you a text to which we've been alerted. ... Right. Absolutely. ... We're on our way."

The riot happened at nine as the text predicted, but it's not the cause or the works of the unsubs. Police were out tackling people and arresting those left and right for participating in the riot. A lot of fights happened between local police and the rioters. Detective Andrews at officers at every entry point who were filling their wagons faster than they could bring them to the holding cells. When the people started resisting the law, Andrews ordered his officers t start making arrests.

A lot of people got away from that riot but more ended up in jail. The events bleed into the next day where the officers are still in the midst of going through the families and processing the rioters.

"Did Garcia come up with anything?" Hotch asks.

"Yeah, she was able to isolate the first two cell phones in the chain."

"Detective, we don't think our unsubs are in there, but we'd still like to interrogate the possible ringleaders."

"I don't think so."

"We need to eliminate them as suspects."

"We can handle it on our own."

"We're not saying you can't--"

"Is there a problem?" Hotch cuts off Rossi.

"You guys had my men out there canvassing bars looking for adults when I could have been doing gang sweeps and going through juvenile records."

"That would have been a waste of your time."

"In case you hadn't noticed, those are kids out there. We don't believe last night's riot Is connected to the murders."

"How could it not be?" Andrews asks Emily.

"Because the unsubs we're looking for are older. They operate entirely out of Southeast D.C. They exercise extreme control over their victims, and violence is up close and personal. None of what happened here last night fits the profile."

"Enough with the profile. I got probably a million dollars worth of damage. I got two cops injured."

"Which was probably made worse by police overreaction."

"Meaning what?"

"I warned you. With cases like this, people get too emotional."

Andrews steps closer to Hotch but the younger man doesn't back down.

"You're here as a guest of my department. If you're so sure none of those kids are the killers, why bother interrogating them at all?"

"Because we need to be certain. If we're right, if this is just some sort of teenage dare, I guarantee you that the unsubs are going to respond very quickly."

"I appreciate your insight, but we'd like to take things from here on our own. Thank you for everything you've done."

If local police kick the FBI out, then they have to leave. Hotch doesn't like it but he doesn't start something he knows he can finish.

"You're gonna want to start with these two names," Emily says and hands him a piece of paper.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[infamous-if]

LISTEN AMY I LOVE YOU!!!

BUT AVINA (whatever their name is) NEEDS TO BACK UP FROM MY MAN. LIKE THE COURT OF LAW SAID THAT SEVEN IS MY BOO. THE JURY AGREES!!

Anyway, Avina(?) stay away or we will fight in the waffle house parking lot. The gang will be pulling up.

LOL

Sevenmancers not only going to be fighting for their lives to get Seven’s affection back, but now fighting Avina hehahshshahahahaha

Poor MC will be forced to share a bus with Seven and Avina while they’re giggling over songs they wrote together,,, seeing everyone in pain,,,,makes me smile

[zentriii]

after exactly 1469 words, i can confidently say that plot point 1 out of 7 is done :')

[what the fuck, why the fuck is this so long, who the fuck approved of this, why, this was supposed to be a quick, written in a day, fic]

did i just outline a whole fic, start to finish, using 4chan style??

[gwynndolin]

Kitschke recs, D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L by Panchiko

I'm skipping around here for a few reasons, mainly that I couldn't really get into Liz Phair (sorry if you love her!), Sludgefest is fun and interesting as an art piece that I've already listened to, but I don't have much to say about it other than that, and 69 love songs is such a daunting task that I don't have time for AT THE MOMENT.... So I will reserve it for a later date, when I finally feel like I have the fortitude to spend enough time with that album. That being said, I've already listened to DEATH METAL quite a bit before now!

So, my main understanding of this album is that it was initially speculated to have been dropped as a part of sort of an ARG; something about it being a lost media album from the early 2000's that had been found and posted online, but it seems like they were actually a real band? Seems like the jury is still out on the matter, but I can totally understand why it feels like it would be a faked period piece.

It feels remarkably out of place for being an early 2000s album, very ahead of its time in a lot of places, though there are notes of some of the late 90's grunge and early 2000's production sensibilities, in the song "Stabilisers For Big Boys" for instance, the chorus with the blown out vocals over nothing but a simple drum machine and a almost imperceptible bass synth tremolo underneath feels very much like a Savage Garden track with just a touch of some early 2000s alternative grunge, thinking like, Finger Eleven or something like that.

That being said though, I think a decent comparison, maybe not necessarily tonally, but in similar "difference" to the time period would be Of Montreal, mainly in songs like "Laputa" (one of my personal faves from this album, though every time it starts playing I think its Bear by The Antlers for just a moment); the track is a little slower, has a good mix of physical and digital instrumentation and production, just a little bit strange lyrically... Definitely lump it together mentally with Cherry Peel. I also taste some hints of The Bends/ OK Computer on this album too, particularly in "Sodium Chloride", the outro especially reminding me of the outro to "No Surprises". Also, to go back to an earlier review, there's also some Portishead (or, generally, triphop) vibes in some of the songs that opt to use a drum machine, e.g. "Kicking Cars".

My first go around with this record was probably a year or two ago, I think probably around the time I started dipping out of my punk phase to start listening to some more alternative stuff; and started to dip into the 90's a bit more. It actually took me a while to get around to want to listen to 90's and early 2000's; as I was born in '96, a lot of the music from this time is just completely out of my purview for the most part, until about 2007 or so. And, around that time, when I had become conscious about music, I had remarkably insular tastes, I refused to enjoy anything on the radio. My Ipod had like, Linkin Park, one or two Queen songs, and I think an entire Jim Gaffigan comedy special. This kinda sensibility continued into my middle school years as well; I had gotten really obsessed with Motion City Soundtrack and the British Pop Rock quartet, Mcfly and refused to listen to just about anything else.

I think, even into my early 20's, even as I had really allowed my horizons to broaden, I had really held on to this notion that the early 2000's and 90's were an overall Bad Time for music, and just never bothered to really engage with anything from the era. Of course, that's totally not true! Although I will admit, some of the radio hits from then are still absolutely grating, it will be too soon if I hear a Five For Fighting song ever again.

Anyway, where I was going when I started listening to this album, I actually really didn't like it at all when I started listening to it. The point I was trying to make with how long it took me to listen to this era of music was that I had to start allowing myself to appreciate this particular genre, I was coming out of a different phase that was much faster paced and raw, and so the mellow nature of this album was kind of lost on me.

But now that I've had the chance to let it sit with me... I actually really kind of love this album. I wouldn't put it as a personal All Timer necessarily, I think it's lacking some of my particular sensibilities that really make me obsess over an album or a band, but it absolutely has a certain pull to it that kept me coming back, even after I had decided I didn't like it! Which is certainly a hallmark of a Good Album. And at the very least, it deserves to be placed along side the accolades of many of the other excellent albums from this era.

It seems like the digital/streaming releases of the album released with a few versions of the songs originally uploaded to /mu/ with the significant CD rot, which is a fun inclusion for sure, I'm a big fan of things like this. Brings to mind Brian Eno's quote from his book A Year With Swollen Appendices, "Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart." though, I don't think I've ever heard any examples of this kind of degradation. Perhaps something to look forward to once CD's fall even further out of the public consciousness, and right back in when the 30 year cycle loops around again.

Fave Tracks: "Laputa", "The Eyes of Ibad", "Sodium Chloride", "Kicking Cars"

Pretty solid 8/10 for D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L. I really expect this album to grow on me as time goes on. Sorry that this review was mostly just a digression on reminiscing about my experience with music in general and not any especially deep analysis! And I thank you for giving me the chance to really engage with it, as opposed to me just listening to it every now and again when my algorithm decides to show it to me again.

[writersmilex]

Try Again | Part 2

Tom Gurney X Fem | Reader

Summary: Tom thinks he completely ruined it this time, there has to be a way to make it up to (Y/n) and fix everything.

Part 1 is HERE

_________________________________________

Tom has been all down in the dumps. At least his friends think so. Wade made them believe that he had a crush on a girl, which... was not... untrue? He wants to get to know her, he would pick on her specifically to get her attention. He was too much of a chicken to say something. Now she hates him, he is sure of that. And it upsets him so much that not even torturing helpless freshmen can make him feel better about himself.

"Make it up to her, then?" Wade seems to have learned nothing at all from the last time he tried to give Tom advice. Tom had his head in his hands just before looking up at his friend to glare daggers at him. "I should punch the stupid out of you..." Tom threatens, his glare sharpening at his friend. "I didn't say how yet?" Wade continues, holding up his hands in defence. Tom sighs and rests his head back in his hands. What to do? What to do? It's been so long since he felt bad about intimidating someone. How is he supposed to deal with that now? "Maybe beat up someone for the-""Okay, you're not helping!" Tom stands up and cuts Wade off and walks away from his stupid friend to get some peace of mind and think clearly. ~~~~ The freshmen were quick to stay out of his way or even straight-up run away once they see him wander. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his pants and his shoulders tense. He is mad at himself for messing up so badly, if only he could talk to her like a normal person then it would have been fine, wouldn't it? His mindless wander lands him by the football field and gymnasium. The turf of the Jocks. Lucky for Tom, the Jocks don't mess with the Bullies, because they have Russel on their side. He can pummel all the other cliques with ease. The Jock still glares at Tom as he traverses their turf aimlessly. Kirby is so much shorter than Tom, he doesn't stand a chance if he tries anything. But Tom isn't really in the mood for fighting. Usually, it's rather tranquil by the football field, but there is some commotion by the field itself that sparks his curiosity. He is not the only one at this, some other random kids run in the direction of the sounds to see what is going on. Tom is intrigued and jogs in the same direction as everyone else to see what is going on. The group of kids are crowding around some others, he has to push through some kids to be able to see what is happening. And when he got to see, his blood ran cold. It was (Y/n): being intimidated by Juri, of all people. Juri looks ready to physically attack (Y/n) for reasons that are unknown to Tom. Some kids were encouraging a fight between a girl and a boy. "Why don't you just leave her alone!" he can hear that girl Nerd say loudly with fear evident in her voice. Did Juri harrass (Y/n)? He doesn't know what had happened before, all he knows is that he doesn't want to see (Y/n) get hurt by some brainless football-obsessed nobody. Tom pushes past more students to approach the angry-looking Jock, and just before he could lay a hand on (Y/n), Tom grabs the Jock's arm and pulls it back roughly. Forcing Juri to turn around and face him. "Nobody gets to pick on (Y/n) but me!" Tom growls in Juri's face and before Juri could reply, Tom snatched (Y/n)'s arm and drags her along with him away from the crowd. Tom prays that the Jocks are following them. "You?!" (Y/n) sounds genuinely surprised that it was Tom Gurney that saved her from such a sticky situation. Tom eventually stopped walking once he took (Y/n) safely to the parking lot, the Bullies' turf. Then he let her arm go, hoping he didn't squeeze her too hard. He shuffles around awkwardly for a bit, not sure of what to say to her. He watches her dust off her uniform and takes a deep breath as she calms down. "You uh... You alright?" Tom asks sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. It takes (Y/n) a moment to reply to him. Still messing with her clothes while seemingly looking for something to say. "Err... Yeah... I'm okay." She finally replies slowly, looking at the Bully with suspicion. Tom can tell that she is still weary of him, and he doesn't blame her for that. He had really scared her the last time they interacted. "What happened?" he asks, watching (Y/n) get slightly more uncomfortable. She shrugs, "I really shouldn't have strayed on Jock turf, you know?" She says, kicking a loose pebble off the asphalt. "I did do much other than talk back to Juri when he started to shout at me." (Y/n) explains honestly, her posture showing shame. As if she is being scolded by her mother or something. "You really shouldn't run your mouth to those Major-League-wannabes." Tom chortles at his own joke. (Y/n) joins in with an awkward laugh of her own. "yeah... I really got in trouble with that." She rubs the back of her neck. "But then you showed up! And with your sudden change of heart, you helped me out!" She cheers and points at Tom with intrigue. "And I have to say thank you for that." She smiles at him! She actually smiles at him! And it's the best smile he has ever seen. The uplifting features on her face alone could make him feel better. "Yeah, uh... It's cool." He replies shyly, not sure how to accept the gratitude of the one girl he used to bully. This feels like the right moment, maybe Wade was right after all? Has she made it up to her yet? No, not yet. But he is almost there, and then maybe he'll feel better about himself. Once he has made peace with the one thing that has been eating at him for a while; The guilt. ~~~~ (Y/n) and Tom continued with the awkward conversation, sitting on a nearby bench together. (Y/n) observed as the Bully kicked his shoes off, and he wasn't wearing socks. This is the second time that she had witnessed him do something like this. And the curiosity is getting to her. "Why did you take your shoes off?" She asks politely, pointing at his bare feet. Tom shrugs, "Shoes are uncomfortable." He replies casually. It's not the most detailed answer that she had expected, but it's an answer that she can respect. "Okay." She replies. Then it's quiet again, both parties are unsure of how to talk to each other. Tom has the chance to apologize, there won't come a more perfect moment than this. Now, now! Do it now, stupid! "Listen, (Y/n)..." He begins, toying with the hem of his loose shirt. "I, uh..." He stammers, god this is hard. Where does he even start? (Y/n) looks at him, waiting for him to explain himself. "I...I am sorry... I'm sorry for picking on you. I didn't know how to talk to you..." He finally manages to stammer out. The look she gives him is incredulous. "You didn't know how to talk to me?" She asks with an amused expression. Tom nods and gulps, this is not going the way he wanted. "Well." She begins, changing her posture; leaning back and crossing her legs. "You were more annoying than anything, but the last time you cornered me was scary." she continues. That hits the Bully in the chest, "Again, I'm sorry!" He almost pleads, making her laugh. "And you're forgiven, really!" she says to calm him down. "How about we start over?" (Y/n) suggests and stands up, Tom follows. She then holds out her hand for him to shake, "My name is (Y/n). What's yours?" She asks with a smile. Tom returns that smile and reaches to take hold of her hand. His hand feels sweaty to her. "I'm Tom. Nice to meet you." He replies. He feels a lot better than he did before, but he feels he needs to do more to make it up to her. _________________________________________ Quite difficult to set up a good plotline here. But this feels good, Tom got to redeem himself a bit. Thanks for reading.❤️ - Smilex🙂

[missvelvetsstuff]

Where you goin, Star?

Bucky x Reader

BikerAU

Summary: Reader meets Bucky when the truck hauling her show horses breaks down as she is trying to leave for an event and he works for the mechanic. Passionate, secret love affair ensues. After a confrontation with her father, Bucky decides she deserves better than a poor biker like him and leaves town with his friends Steve and Sam.

Three years later, reader is trapped in an abusive relationship and about to give up hope of things ever improving, when Bucky comes back.

Chapter 17

Warnings: swearing

Star groaned when her alarm went off, exhausted from turbulent sleep and noticed her right hand was hurting when she tried to rub her eyes. She looked at her bruised knuckles in confusion, trying to remember how she hurt her hand. She tried to scooch away from Bucky to go to the bathroom but he just pulled her closer and mumbled into her hair.

Star sighed "Bucky, I really need to pee and it's almost time to get up."

He finally relented and she went to use the bathroom and take a shower.

When she came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel she saw Bucky looking at his phone and her mouth fell open.

She sat next to him and gently touched the bruises "Jamie? What happened to your eye? Did you get into a fight?"

Bucky chuckled "No, that's all you, slugger." and smirked at her

She hid her face "What? I did that? Ohmygod! I'm so sorry Jamie, you seem to get caught up in my worst moments."

Bucky smiled at her "Your worst is better than the best day without you. I'm good with it." He pulled the sheet off of her head "Today should be a good day. The attorneys are going to wrap up their cases and then we wait for the jury. It'll all be over soon."

She kissed him softly "I can't wait to go back to my life. I've really missed my horses. With 8 or 12 months training we all should be back in shape to show. Hopefully."

Bucky deflated a little, what if she didn't need him anymore, once the trial was over and John was gone for good.

"Have you got everything all worked out for when you can go home? Back to the Pierce estate?

She shook her head "Ugh, I've always hated that house. My father made it feel like a prison. I think I have a good idea for repurposing it but I'm still working out the details.

No, I'm gonna go back to my house and work at my stable, without anyone looking over my shoulder or telling me what to do, I want to get my life back and leave this mess behind.

Bucky nodded sadly "After everything you've been through, that makes sense. You lost all your freedom and autonomy so it seems natural that you want to get that back."

Y/N leaned up and kissed his chin "Hey, Jamie." He looked in her eyes "You realize that you are a big part of what I want to take back. My house is pretty big. Not a mansion but 4 bedrooms and an office, pool and all that. It's right next to the stable so heaven.

It'll take a bit to get some of my programs back up and running but I'll get it there."

She looked at the clock and then pushed on his arm "It's time to get moving. It's already 6 and we need to be there at 8 so get your ass in the shower."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they were at court the closing arguments didn't include anything new or game changing and the jury went to deliberate.

Before they had even left the parking lot her attorneys phone rang and they were called back. He told Star that was a good sign and Bucky held her hand as they walked back.

The verdict was more than she could have asked for, John was found guilty on all counts of rape, abuse and everything else he had done to her. The sentencing hearing was in 2 weeks and the trial regarding his political crimes was scheduled for next month.

John Walker's carefully crafted life was falling apart in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything about any of it. To add insult to injury he saw that dirty biker kissing his now ex wife in the middle of the courtroom.

John swore and threw some names at Star but she just laughed "You have no power over me John. Our unfortunate association is done and you are nothing but a sad little man that's going away." She blew him a kiss and left with Bucky.

That evening, Tony insisted on taking everyone out to celebrate. They went to one of the best restaurants in the city and closed the place down. They didn't leave until after 3am and the only one who was sober was Happy, since he was the driver.

Y/N and Bucky were attached at the hip, each feeling nervous about what comes next and unwilling to let go of the other.

When they arrived back at Stark tower, Bucky had to help Star keep upright until they made it to her rooms. Once inside he propped her up against the door and kissed her deeply, only pulling away when he needed to breathe. He looked at her with heart eyes until he realized something, then looked away and picked her up to carry to her room.

Star never stopped kissing and nibbling on his neck, pulling his hair which made him groan. He set her gently on the bed, then tried to pull away but she wasn't having it.

"Jamie" she whined "Please, stay. I need you."

"I'm just going to get you some water and pain killers, or you'll regret it in the morning."

He returned and coaxed her to take the pills and drink the water.

She laid back down and pulled him with her, grabbing at his shirt to remove it.

Bucky sighed and stopped her gently "You need to get some sleep doll, we can't do this right now."

Star looked up at him and slurred "But, why. I thought you wanted me. I thought-" her eyes filled with tears.

He shushed her softly "No, Star. I do want you honey but not like this. I want you to remember every detail and you're too drunk right now. I promise I'm yours, for as long as you want me but I don't want our first time back together to be when you can't consent and won't remember. I'll still be here in the morning if you still interested and up for it." He took his jeans off and climbed into bed with her only to realize she was already passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Star woke with a groan, quickly moving her arm to cover her eyes even though the room was pretty dark. The smell of coffee and bacon hit her and her stomach clenched, making her bolt to the bathroom to empty it.

When she was empty she brushed her teeth then wandered out to the kitchen. Bucky was over the stove making bacon and eggs.

"There's my morning Star, how are you feeling?" He asked cheerfully, offering a mug of coffee.

Star growled as she accepted "How can you be so bright eyed and cheerful after all you drank last night."

He chuckled "I didn't drink near as much as you did and I have some crazy high tolerance after the military and my profession as a dirty biker." He looked at her, smirking.

"I don't remember much after we arrived at the restaurant. Tony kept ordering round after round and, yeah. That's I-" she paled, "I'm gonna be sick" and ran to the bathroom.

Bucky took the food off of the stove and hurried after her but the door was locked "You ok Star?"

"Yeah" she yelped "I'll be out in a few."

Star held in the tears until she heard him walk away and could let them out. She remembered bits of last night, most importantly how she threw herself at him and he turned her down. His explanation was fuzzy but the bottom line was that he didn't want her. All the loving words and actions drained from her memory and all she could see or feel was the rejection. She was a fool for thinking he would still want her after everything, convincing herself that he helped her out of guilt but would be leaving her behind soon since John was out of the way.

When her stomach stopped heaving she brushed her teeth again, washed her face and went back to the kitchen.

"Are you ok sweetheart? Do you want to try to eat something?"

Star nodded without saying anything and swallowed down as much food as ahe could stand. Once she finished she just sat there sipping her coffee.

"Hey, Star did I say something? Are younsure you're ok?"

She tried not to look at him but he cupped her cheek and felt the tears on her cheek "Why are you crying baby? Please let me help."

She spoke so softly he almost didn't hear her "you dont have to stay."

He looked at her confused "But I want to stay. Unless you want me to go."

She shrugged "Well, the trial is over and John is going away for awhile and I'm going to move back home. You shouldn't stay with me out of guilt."

"What? Baby, I told you I want to be with you. Forever. I meant that when I said it 3 years ago and I meant it yesterday. You don't be rid of me so easily."

He pulled her into him. "I'll tell you every single day if it'll convince you. I love you Star and want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She looked up at him with tear filled eyes "You sure you won't get tired of my insecurities?"

"Positive but I also plan to help assuage your insecurity by always being here for you." He kissed her on the nose "Promise.

Now, don't we have some packing to do, so we can go home?"

@pattiemac1 @hhiggs

Chapter 18

[rosewood-multifandom-writer]

Street Fighter 6 Story Review:

After this and Akuma’s release, I am going to review World Tour Mode. Spoilers, I’m gonna be pretty harsh with World Tour and the rest of this game. Every character will get a TL:DR breakdown of their storylines because I don’t want this review being longer than it’s already gonna be.

The only stories that I will not be counting are the DLC character stories because as of the date of this review, I only have Ed. If I get the rest of the DLC after Akuma gets released, then they will have their own review post, but for now, it’s just the base game roster. The stories with a heart (❤️) next to it are my favorites.

Luke: Luke’s story begins with him introducing himself and wanting to meet new people during his street fighting journey. He thinks he’s still the same young punk he was before he joined the military briefly. Luke’s story is about him fighting on his own terms.

Jamie: Nothing special, the usual Jamie being the protector of his city, beating up gangs and thugs, and arguing with Luke.

Manon: Hates being called “strong” as it is a trigger for her due to her mother abandoning her and not having friends due to her being amazing at judo. She also does this thing that I also do whenever I am having a bad day where she says she’s “fine” but she’s not. Marisa is the first and only person who genuinely compliments and praises Manon’s strength. ❤️

Kimberly: A young 80’s aesthetic loving ninja who is investigating her uncle’s death. Runs into JP. ❤️

Marisa: We see Manon vs Marisa from Marisa’s perspective as she proudly talks about her history and of course, more lesbian subtext between the two. ❤️

Lily: She is a part of the Thunderfoot tribe and travels a lot as she is the most curious fighter. She runs into Dhalsim.

JP: This villain is so good because there are people that are just like JP in real life. Not to mention that he is the king of gaslighting and manipulation. If there is one symbol that is more fitting for him, it would be a chess piece. ❤️

Juri: She is having trouble moving on and feels like she has no other purpose in life other than her now one-sided rivalry with Chun-Li, and it looks like Chun-Li’s words did have an affect on her at the end of her story. ❤️

Deejay: If you’re looking for the definition of chill, Deejay will be used as an example picture. Kimberly acts as his inspiration for his newest song.

Cammy: She is investigating the reminents of Shadaloo, and runs into JP. JP gets away, and Cammy is more determined than ever to find more information about Shadaloo, because like a cockroach, Shadaloo just won’t die completely. ❤️

Ryu: In the usual Ryu fashion, Ryu seeks more strength and looks to fight other fighters with unique abilities. Luke wanted to get a picture with him, but the closest he got was an awesome shot of Ryu being his usual heroic neutral self walking away from the fight with Luke.

E. Honda (Bear Hugger): E. Honda wants to open up a new sumo themed restaurant, and the Manon boss fight he has is actually a flashback fight of him trying to open up his restaurant in France where the temporary amusement park is, but Manon gives him better advice for his restaurant. Hence why his restaurant is in Urban Park.

Blanka: He becomes great friends with Lily and remains champion of the jungle like the ugly cute creature he is.

Guile: Guile learns that Ken has not been the same since the incident in Nayshall, and in his ending, he tries convincing Ken to go back to his family and if you remember his conversations in World Tour, he doesn’t want Ken to repeat the same mistakes with his family like he did. ❤️

Ken: Ken is framed for being a terrorist and is now in hiding even after his innocence was proven. I know others beat me to it, but I think this is gonna be the start of Violent Ken. Whether he will appear by Capcom pulling a SF5 season 2 and makes SF6 season 2, or we get SF7, we will definitely be getting that dark side of Ken.❤️

Chun-Li: We see Chun-Li living her best life semi-retired, but thanks to Juri Han, she learns that taking down Shadaloo isn’t that easy, as there are still more things going on with Shadaloo, even though M. Bison is dead. ❤️

Zangief: He mistakes Marisa’s want for a romantic partner for a tag team fighting partner, and he clumsily makes an excuse as to why he can’t. Marisa is a graceful person when it comes to losing and being rejected. ❤️

Dhalsim: Dhalsim being the usual freaky yoga contortionist he is gives Lily some enlightenment.

What are the best stories from Arcade Mode?

The top 5:

1. Juri.

2. Ken

3. JP

4. Guile

5. Kimberly

These five are the best stories as it focuses on the aftermath of Shadaloo’s downfall, which is the best storyline of SF4-SF6’s timeline so far.

My least favorite stories are Lily and Jamie because they’re not the most interesting characters in my opinion, nor were their stories interesting to me. Plus, I’m pretty indifferent towards these two.

Is playing Story mode worth your time?

In my opinion, if you haven’t played Street Fighter in a long time (the last time I personally played Street Fighter I only played SFII) or you’re new to the franchise, the story is definitely worth your time.

In my case, I want to analyze characters like the roster in SF6 and I am going to review the rest of this game, so playing Story Mode was definitely worth it for me. Plus, it doesn’t waste my time like what World Tour did.

So if you want to experience/re-experience SF6’s story, play Arcade Mode’s Story.

I will have a lot more to say about World Tour mode, but as of right now, Akuma hasn’t been released yet, so I can’t fully express my opinion on World Tour as a whole yet.

Conclusion:

In short, the story of Street Fighter 6 is an interesting one from what I have seen as someone whose first experience with Street Fighter was Street Fighter II, so I can’t speak for anyone else who played more of the other games.

I will say that the Arcade Mode Story is better than World Tour’s story. Hopefully it gets better in the Turbo/Ultra/Champion/Whatever Edition of SF6.

[phantompoguefangirl]

NEW STORY!!

Michael CliffordxFemOC

CHAPTER ONE: MEETING THE FAMILY/FIRST MEETING

Also available on Wattpad @ SerpentBeauty1710

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves

They'll judge it like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours

And it's not theirs to speculate

If it's wrong and

Your hands are tough

But they are where mine belong and

I'll fight their doubt and give you faith

With this song for you

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth

And I love the riddles that you speak

And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored

'Cause my heart is yours -OURS by Taylor Swift

A/N: This started as a oneshot and became the longest first chapter of my life lol but bear with me. This chapter takes place in November 2014 which is why Michael has red hair. Warnings: Language, and abuse is briefly mentioned in this chapter but will be explored in depth in later chapters. Fluff/angst

**************************************

"Baaabee it's coooolddd," Michael whined, trying to pull his leather jacket closer around him.

"I told you to bring a warmer coat, but Mr 'I do what I want I'm punk rock' didn't listen. You're lucky we're here before winter really hits," I replied, stifling a laugh as I glanced over at my boyfriend, who sat in the passenger seat of the car we'd rented. I was driving because we were in my home state of Idaho and I knew this area like the back of my hand. Also Michael was still getting used to driving on American roads, and Idaho roads are a little precarious in cold weather.

"Shut up," he groaned, making a face at me, "You didn't tell me it would be this cold. It's like fucking Antarctica here!"

I rolled my eyes as I turned the heat up and handed him a blanket from the back seat. He excitedly burrowed into the blanket till only his bright green eyes were visible. I cracked up laughing and then mumbled a profanity under my breath as I missed my turn.

"What?" Michael asked innocently, his voice muffled by the blanket.

"You're too damn adorable, even when you're being a dumbass and it's distracting. That's what," I giggled.

He uncovered his face to smirk at me and then covered it again.

I shook my head and shoved him playfully with one hand as I found and turned down the correct road to my best friend Tessa's apartment complex.

Michael and I'd been dating for several months now and he hadn't met my family yet since we lived in Los Angeles and my family was in Idaho. My sister Maggie, the matriarch of my family since my mom left us when I was 14, had begged me to come home for Thanksgiving and I was on the fence about it until Michael had offered to come with me.

He had never experienced Thanksgiving, being Australian, but he was super excited about there being tons of food. He also wanted to be here to support me because he knew things were a bit strained with my family and he didn't want me to deal with that alone. Plus he just hated being away from me and we had a couple days off from our tour because while the boys didn't do this holiday, a lot of their and my American fans did so we had not scheduled any tour dates for these few days.

So here we were, on our way to drop our stuff off at Tessa's, where we were staying, before heading to Maggie's house for Thanksgiving. Michael was reluctant to get out of the warm car when we parked, but I promised him I'd get him a hot chocolate on the way to my sister's house, which had hin nearly falling out of the car trying to untangle himself from the blanket. Tessa's dog Nova alerted her to our presence so she opened the door before we could knock.

"Hey loser!" I greeted her jokingly.

"Wow, I let you stay with me and you insult me?" Tessa complained sarcastically.

"Whatever. You love me," I replied, grinning.

"Debatable," she retorted as she hugged me. Michael laughed shakily as I hugged her back as best I could while holding my bags. Tessa looked over and noticed him shivering a little bit as she pulled back from the hug. "What are you wearing, you dingus? It's like 30°F outside right now."

"Yeah, yeah don't start. Mia already gave me shit about it in the car," Michael responded in a slightly annoyed tone as he looked down at his thin leather jacket, red and black flannel and black skinny jeans. He'd at least worn a beanie and boots but still.

I'd actually kind of matched my outfit with his today, though it had not been intentional. I also wore a red and black flannel, black skinny jeans, boots and a beanie. Obviously, I'd opted for a more practical jacket though. We'd laughed for a good minute when we saw each other earlier, the situation made funnier by the fact that we both had red hair, though mine was my natural ginger red with turquoise and purple ombre while his was the color of a firetruck. There hadn't been enough time to change so we'd just stayed like this. On the upside, my sister would probably want photos so the matching outfits would be good for that.

Tessa rolled her eyes and laughed as she helped us bring our stuff inside and get situated. Her boyfriend, Nate, also roasted Michael a little bit for his clothing choices but also understood because Nate was from a different state and he was still getting used to the weather here as well. Not long after that, Tessa told me to let her know if shit went down and she'd come to my sister's to beat some ass and then Michael and I left for my sister's house.

As promised, we got hot chocolates but not before we stopped and got Michael a better coat. I didn't want my family making fun of him too. I knew they would already have enough opinions about him. They were not only pretty conservative, but also really overprotective of me because I was the youngest of four kids. They'd barely ever allowed me to date before I moved out, let alone ever met a guy I liked because their idea of a good boyfriend for me and the type of guys I was into were VASTLY different. I mean I had standards, which actually Michael had helped me with, but I was not into the goodie two shoes clean cut polo shirt wearing type of guys.

Obviously.

My anxiety kicked up a notch as I drove down Maggie's street. Michael must have noticed because he put his hand on my thigh and squeezed gently.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. I'll be with you the whole time," he said softly.

I smiled at him warmly, "I know and I love you so much for that, but that's not the problem."

"What's the problem then?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't want to deal with what they're probably gonna say about you. Not that I care about what they think of you. I just don't want to hear it. I just want them to see me happy and be happy for me for once in my life," I explained.

"Well, tell them that then. Or I can. And if anyone tries to start shit, we'll leave. I don't care what they think about me either, honestly. All I care about is whether or not you're okay," he reassured me as I parked in front of my sister's house. He intertwined his fingers with mine as soon as we were out of the car.

I knocked on the door and opened it since Maggie was the let yourself in type. Michael only let go of my hand when we removed our coats and beanies(I fixed his hair for him once his beanie was off) but quickly reconnected our hands as soon as he could and followed me up through the house. The back door was the most used at Maggie's house because it opened to her driveway and the front door was way on the other side of the house for some reason. The back door led up a few steps into her kitchen, which you had to pass through to get to the rest of the house. I could tell once we were in the kitchen that everyone was sitting or standing in the dining room, which was to the left at a 90 degree angle from the kitchen. This meant they would all see Michael, who was behind me and not in their view yet, for the first time simultaneously.

Well at least we could get it out of the way quickly, hopefully.

I froze and took a deep breath to prepare myself. Michael used our entwined hands to turn me around and pull me into his arms gently, hugging me. I pressed my face into his chest, breathed in his scent and sighed.

"It'll be okay, baby. I've got you. And I love you, no matter what they say," Michael whispered, lifting my face with both hands and looking into my eyes.

"How are you so perfect? I love you so much," I whispered back, gazing at him in adoration.

He grinned and kissed my forehead softly before taking my hand again and gesturing me foreward. I pulled him with me through the archway to the dining room.

Every set of eyes zeroed in on us and widened in shock as they took in Michael's bright colored emo hairstyle, eyebrow piercing, black earrings, plethora of bracelets and dark clothes. Appearance-wise, Michael was the epitome of punk bad boy and they hadn't even seen his tattoos yet.

"Um, hey everyone," I said, clearing my throat,"This is my boyfriend, Michael. Michael, this is my family."

"Hello, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving," Michael said, smiling and waving awkwardly.

They all stared for a moment before I began introducing everyone by name. Michael greeted them each kindly.

"Never figured my baby sister to be into someone who looks like you but as long as you treat her right, I'm cool with you," my brother Mason commented. I figured Mason wouldn't judge that much since he also had dyed hair, tattoos, similar clothing style and was sort of the rebel of the family.

"I do treat her right. If anything, I probably spoil her a little bit, but I don't mind. She deserves it," Michael replied, looking at me and smiling lovingly.

"Good. Keep it that way," Mason nodded in approval.

"So what do you for a living, young man?" My grandmother asked in a tone like she expected him to not have an answer.

"I'm the lead guitarist in a band called 5 Seconds of Summer, Ma'am," Michael replied respectfully.

"Oh my god, I thought you looked familiar!" Mason exclaimed, looking back and forth between us in disbelief.

"You know this band? They're actually successful?" Grandma looked over at Mason in surprise.

"Yeah, they're actually getting pretty famous now," Mason answered her.

"Yeah, Grandma, they've won awards, been on magazine covers, played all over the world and performed on several tv and radio programs. They've had a lot of hit songs on the radio too," I gushed defensively.

"Oh are they the band you told me about?" My oldest brother, Miles asked. He didn't seem to have any issue with Michael either. He never judged people. He'd always been supportive of me and he was the sibling I was closest to. He and my sister took me in when my mom left, since my dad wasn't around at the time, and he was the one who supplied my magazines, posters and books about whatever I was hyperfixating on before I moved to California. I'd told him a little about Michael and 5SOS, but not the full story.

"So how did you two meet?" Miles asked curiously, ignoring everyone.

"I saved his life and we became friends first," I answered.

"She almost knocked me out, actually," Michael joked.

"What?!" Mason exclaimed, laughing.

How?!" Miles questioned incredulously.

"I did not! Let me explain," I objected.

FLASHBACK:

I was walking down the street, looking around for a restaurant to eat at, when a flash of neon pink in front of me caught my eye.

I did a double take when I realized the pink was the hair on a beautiful boy barely a couple feet away from me, who I immediately recognized as Michael Clifford from 5SOS.

Before I could fangirl, I saw that he was starting to cross the road and there was a car coming straight for him.

"MICHAEL MOVE!" I screamed, but he didn't respond. I barely registered the earbuds in his ears before I was sprinting toward him.

I tackled him out of the way just as the car passed us, though I was pretty sure the only reason my tiny 5 ft tall self was able to even move his towering 6 ft frame was because I caught him off guard.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" He shouted in confusion as we both sat up and he glanced at me as he looked around, pulling his earbuds out and putting them away.

"Oh shit, I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked, suddenly panicking.

"No, I'm fine, I think. But what the fuck just happened?" he replied, still looking confused and annoyed.

"I-um-there was a car coming and you didn't respond when I yelled your name so I panicked and tackled you," I explained, gesturing in the direction the car went.

His face softened. "Oh. Wow. Um, thank you...what's your name?"

Our eyes met and I actually almost forgot my name for a second before I blinked and came back to reality. "M-Mia. My name is Mia."

"That's a pretty name," he said as he stood up and offered his hand to me. I took it and he helped me up. "I'm-wait you said you yelled my name, so you know it already. You're a fan?"

"Um...yeah, but just so you know, I only tackled you to save you. And not just because you're you. I would have done that for anyone else in that situation. I swear I'm not crazy," I rambled a little bit, blushing.

"You're fine, don't worry," he reassured me.

I nodded nervously as I bent to pick up my satchel off the ground.

"Uh, I don't normally do this, but I was on my way to get a bite to eat and I was wondering if you would maybe like to join me? It's the least I can do to thank you," Michael asked tentatively, running a hand through his hair.

I whipped my head up to look at him in shock. Did Michael Clifford just ask me out?

"A-are you serious? I-I mean, uh, you don't have to do that," I stammered, fidgeting with the strap on my bag.

"I know, but I want to. I feel bad for how I reacted. You didn't deserve that," He said softly, "Besides, you're really pretty and I was kinda hoping to get to know you better."

My heart threatened to jump out of my chest at his words, but then it sunk a moment later.

"You have no idea how badly I want to say yes, but I have a boyfriend...," I told him, looking down at my feet.

"Oh," his voice sounded sad for a second and then got lighter again which caused me to look back up at him,"Well, I still would like to repay you for saving me so how bout just a casual meal between friends?"

A flicker of emotion crossed his face at those last words and disappeared before I could figure out what it was. I shrugged it off and smiled at him.

"Okay, I guess we could do that," I agreed.

"Awesome!" Michael said excitedly, turning and gesturing for me to follow him, "Come on, I know a great place. I was on my way there just now."

I grabbed onto his jean jacket as I tried to keep up with him. "Michael! Wait for me! I have little legs, unlike you, giraffe boy."

He chuckled and slowed down. "First of all, I'm not a giraffe boy. That's Luke. I'm more of a...fuck, what's another tall animal? A Camel? I don't fucking know..."

"A CAMEL? Oh my gosh. You're an idiot. That's what you are," I said, laughing.

"Ouch! I'm being so nice and treating you to lunch and you call me names?" Michael gasped playfully, putting his hands on his chest in mock pain.

"You didn't let me finish. I was gonna say but you make up for it by being ridiculously cute," I retorted. Oh shit did I just say that?

"Aww really?" Michael said, placing his hands under his chin and making an adorable face.

I nearly fell over laughing while walking and he caught me before I smacked into a post that was directly in my path.

He pulled me toward the doors of a locally owned pizza place nearby,"This is it! The home of the best pizza I've ever had! Oh, do you like pizza? I probably should have asked that earlier."

"Are you kidding me? I could LIVE on pizza!" I answered as we went inside and found a table.

"Okay, you saved my life, you like my music, you're gorgeous and you love pizza as much as I do. Oh my god, are you an angel? Because I have been BLESSED," Michael blurted out, giggling as he sat down in the booth.

"Stop. You did not just say that!" I wheezed, holding my stomach because of how hard I was laughing.

"Are you alright?" he asked between giggles.

"No. You're gonna be the death of me," I whined through my own giggles.

"Aww no don't die. I'm sooorrryyy," he drew out his words as he tried to help me calm down, which failed as the way he said sorry set me off again.

Eventually he got me breathing normally before the server came over to us.

We ended up ordering Dr. Pepper for both of us along with a hawaiian and a cheese pizza. We scarfed a lot of it down while goofing off and talking about everything we could think of. Music, movies/tv, videogames, hobbies and other interests, the band, etc. We also managed to take some funny and cute photos of each other, mostly on his phone because I was worries about having too many on my phone. The only ones on mine were ones of me and like one of the two of us taken as though we just casually ran into each other.

I sat back after awhile, feeling full and and totally happy for a change. And again I was brought down from the clouds by the sound of my phone going off.

"Dude, was that a lightsaber sound effect?" Michael asked, intrigued.

"Yeah it is. I love Star Wars so I made it my notification tone," I explained enthusiastically before I saw the text that the aforementioned lightsaber sound alerted me to. "Shit, I gotta go. My boyfriend is home and he's wondering where I am."

"So? Just tell him you made a new friend and you're hanging out with them," Michael said, shrugging like it was no big deal.

"No, you don't understand. I really have to go home now. I'm really sorry. But I had the best time with you. Thank you so much for bringing me here," I said, grabbing my bag anxiously.

Michael looked at me for a moment like he wanted to ask me something but then his face shifted like he thought better of it. He sighed. "Okay then. Will I get to see you again? I'd like to be friends with you, if that's okay?"

"Um...yeah, here," I answered, pulling up a new contact on my phone and handing it to him. He typed in his info, saved it and then handed it back. I sent him a quick text and he saved my contact, adding one of the photos he took of me to it as well.

"Oh, do you want to take any leftover pizza?" he asked as I stood up.

"I can't, but um, you can share it with the boys? You know they'll be happy you brought them food," I suggested, glancing toward the door, half expecting my boyfriend to track my phone and show up here.

Michael nodded and stood up as well,"Okay, I'll see you later, Mia. I had a wonderful time as well and hopefully we can hang out again soon."

Before I could reply, he reached out and pulled me into a hug. It took everything I had not to melt into his arms and refuse to leave.

"See you later," I mumbled into his chest before pulling away and hurrying toward the door.

FLASHBACK OVER

"So yeah that's the story of how we met," I finished, shrugging. I'd obviously edited certain things out since I was talking to my family though.

"How long ago was that?" Miles asked, seeming to be fully invested at this point.

"A year and two months ago, but we didn't start dating till this past June," Michael answered.

"Oh, because of the other boyfriend, right? Bet you just jumped from him to this guy like it was nothing," Maggie finally spoke, her voice laced with judgement.

"No, actually, she didn't, which she already said before. And with all due respect, maybe you should ask her nicely what happened instead of instantly judging her," Michael jumped in before I could say anything, wrapping an arm around me both to protect me and also to soothe me because he knew this was a sensitive subject for me and it was taking all of my self control not to snap at her.

Miles put a hand on Maggie's shoulder and stopped her before she could snap back. He hated conflict and was always the neutral party who had to stop arguments. I tried to never put him in that position but the rest of my family was a different story.

He looked over at me and kindly asked,"What happened with the other boyfriend, Mia? If you're alright to talk about it, of course."

I had to take some deep breaths again before speaking,"Um, well, his name was Jesse and he was...he...hurt me..."

I trailed off, shaking and trying to hold back tears at the memories. Michael kissed the side of my head and rubbed my back to soothe me, even though I could feel how tense he was from remembering these things too.

"It's alright, love," he said softly into my hair, "Do you want me to continue for you?"

I shook my head after a moment and did my best to collect myself before speaking again,"Um...he was...hurting me...physically. It was hell for a long time...until I met Michael. It got so bad that I almost died one night, but I survived because Michael and the rest of the band saved me from Jesse. Jesse's in prison and everything, but it took me awhile to get past what happened. Michael's band let me move in with them and they all protected me, took me to therapy and helped me through everything. It wasn't until months later that things between Michael and I became more than friendship."

"You're okay now though?" Miles asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm a lot better now," I answered, smiling. He sighed in relief and hugged me. Mason joined the hug too, which was odd since he rarely showed me affection at all, so Michael backed away to let us have a moment.

"Why didn't you tell us, dude? You know we would have kicked his ass for you," Mason asked as they let go of me.

"Oh, so you could get yourself thrown in jail AGAIN, Mason?" I said, giving him a look," Besides, it was more complicated than just the abuse. He was powerful and he controlled my career, my money, everything. Michael got me out of that with the help of his band management people and their lawyers."

This had actually been what set him off the night Michael saved me, but they didn't need to know that. I didn't want them blaming Michael for what happened to me, which they probably would.

"You just helped her out of the goodness of your heart? I find that hard to believe. You probably just did it to get in her pants," Grandma sneered at Michael, her judgy tone and expression made suddenly worse by the sight of Michael's tattoos as he had shoved his sleeves up to his elbows anxiously without thinking about it.

He disliked remembering what Jesse did almost more than I did and he always played with his sleeves or bracelets when he was anxious. He noticed everyone's eyes darting to his arm and hands, and we both rolled our eyes.

"Oh he's got tattoos, too. Wonderful," I heard my dad mutter.

"Dad! Stop it!" I exclaimed. I went to say more but Michael stopped me. I knew that look in his eyes so I let him. He didn't take shit from people and he wasn't about to start now.

"Okay, listen, I know what I look like to you all," Michael began,"and to be honest, I don't really give a damn because what I look like has nothing to do with how I treat people. I've cared for Mia from the beginning and, not that this is any of your business, I refused to even acknowledge any sort of feelings or anything until she was ready to, much less try anything physical, and neither did she. I'd never disrespect her or take advantage of her, or anyone really, that way. Honestly, my focus wasn't even close to that place, anyway. I was concerned about her wellbeing more than anything and that has not changed. So I promise you, my intentions with Mia have never been anything other than respectful and I would never ever hurt her. We don't even sleep in the same room. So if we could all just be grownups about this, that'd great."

"And by the way, the guy whose appearance you would approve of actually did hurt me and disrespected me. He did a lot of horrible things, and yet if I brought him here instead of Michael, you would have welcomed him immediately. Meanwhile, the man who actually loves me and is good to me is the one you're rude to simply because he does not look ideal to you. How does that make sense?" I interjected.

"I guess it doesn't," My dad said, "Wait, then where are you sleeping while you're here?"

"Again, not that it's your business, but we're staying at Tessa's, still in separate rooms. I'm taking the couch and Mia gets the guest room. We do the same thing on the tour bus and Mia gets her own hotel room when we get to use hotels," Michael told him.

This was not always true, but they didn't need to know that.

"Tour bus?" Dad questioned, confused,"Mia, what are you doing on their tour bus?"

"Oh, I'm 5 Seconds of Summer's opening act!" I told him

"What?!" Miles exclaimed.

"Yep! She's actually an amazing singer and musician. Everyone loves her and she's gained quite the fanbase," Michael boasted, grinning proudly.

Maggie and Grandma again looked shocked. Miles enthusiastically hugged me again for this, and Mason rolled his eyes and tried to act like he didn't care.

"Ew people actually like listening to you sing?" Mason joked. I put my hand on his face and shoved him playfully.

"Really? You're performing?" Dad turned to me, surprised but smiling. As conservative and protective as he was, he'd always loved my voice and he had encouraged me to pursue my music when I left home. I could tell that even though he was not happy about my choice of boyfriend, he was happy I was getting to sing for people.

"Yeah I am," I nodded, beaming at him.

"That's great!" Dad said, seeming to accept this, though he shot Michael an 'I'll hunt you down' look. "As long as there's no funny business going on."

"Okay can we stop talking about Mia's sex life before I lose my appetite? I'm starving!" Mason groaned, grabbing his stomach dramatically.

Everyone laughed at this, surprisingly, and it broke the tension enough for us to move on to dinner. My little nephews came out of their room at that point. They must have been napping. I helped Maggie set out the food then grabbed some glasses of my grandma's famous punch and sat in the chair next to Michael, which he pulled out for me.

"Wow, this all looks and smells amazing!" Michael gasped excitedly as his eyes skimmed over every dish on the table.

"Wait till you taste it," I said, grinning at him.

We said grace and then everyone dug in. Michael eagerly put a helping of everything on his plate and began stuffing his face.

"Oh my god, you're right, it all tastes amazing too!" Michael nearly moaned, his mouth full of food. "Maggie, you're an excellent cook!"

I giggled and nodded in agreement as I shoveled a large spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

"Oh, thank you," Maggie replied, smiling tentatively as she took a sip of her punch. "I didn't do all of it though. Miles made the devilled eggs and Grandma made the punch."

"Well, you all did a really great job. It's all delicious. Thank you," Michael said, raising his glass to them a little bit before taking a drink. Miles reacted happily but Grandma just sort of half smiled and nodded.

As we ate, he got distracted by my brothers having a heated debate about Mario Kart. He eased his way into the conversation and after a little bit my brothers challenged him to a Mario Kart battle after dinner. Of course, Michael eagerly accepted the challenge.

Dinner went by fairly smoothly, and after we all helped clean up and took some photos together, the boys set up the Wii and started up Mario Kart. I decided to play too, even though I knew they were all better at it than I was. I had just really missed playing videogames with my brothers and I was so happy they were getting along with Michael. The four of us piled onto the couch with our controllers and chose our characters. Miles liked playing as either Toad or Mario but Michael had already picked Toad so Miles went with Mario. Mason got Yoshi before I could but then I remembered you could play as Toadette on this version so I picked her. Michael chuckled at this and kissed the side of my head.

I actually managed to win one round but Miles and Michael won most of the rounds. Mason was not happy about losing but he respected Michael for being so good at the game.

During Halo, which was the next game they put on, I didn't play. However, I did accidentally distract Michael by laying down with my head on his lap, which caused him to miss and his character to die. Then toward the end, I decided to reach over and tickle Mason right as his character was about to throw a grenade at Michael's, causing Mason to drop his controller and his character to accidentally fall off a cliff and die. At the same time, Michael turned and shot Miles' halo dude, winning the round.

"Ohhhhh, I'm gonna get you for that!" Mason cried out in a tone that was half mad and half joking around as we all laughed. He and Miles jumped up and moved toward me.

"Shit!" I yelped as he and Miles, who were both tall and ridiculously strong, grabbed me off of the couch.

They easily were able to toss me around between them and a wrestling match ensued as they tried to take turns tickling me.

"Ahhh, Michael help!" I screeched, giggling as I flailed about, trying to fight off my brothers.

"Oh you mean like this?" Michael smirked and also started tickling me.

"NOOO NOT LIKE THAT AHH!" I shrieked, squirming and beginning to hyperventilate. "WHY ARE YOU HELPING THEM?"

"You distracted me in Halo and made me die," he said, finding the most ticklish spots on my sides as Mason grabbed my legs in an attempt to keep me from kicking him. Miles held me under my arms which caused my shirt to ride up several inches.

Suddenly a shrill voice echoed through the room.

"HE'S GOT YOU TATTOOED AND PIERCED TOO?!" Grandma bellowed as she came back from the bathroom, startling us.

Miles jumped and let go of my torso, which made Mason lose his grip on my legs and drop me. Michael tried to catch me but was just slightly too late. I ended up landing sideways on my hand and rolling backward onto him, screaming as something made a cracking sound and a sharp stabbing pain shot up my arm.

"Shit, Baby, are you okay?" Michael asked worriedly as he helped me up carefully.

I shooked my head and winced as I braced my hand against my chest.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," Miles exclaimed as he saw my swollen, discolored hand and wrist.

Grandma apparently either didn't notice or didn't care because she just stormed over and aggressively yanked my shirt up. She glared down at the ornate black crescent moon holding a red stone that hooked through my navel, Michael's favorite of my belly button rings, and the anchor with tiger lillies and rope descending into a treble clef inked on my side. I had a few other tattoos, but my clothing still covered those.

"Knock it off, Grandma. Michael had nothing to do with my tattoos or me piercing my belly button," I retorted, pushing my shirt back down and stepping away from her. "I got them way before I met him."

"I don't believe you," Grandma said, crossing her arms.

"Of course you don't. That doesn't make it any less true," I replied, annoyed and desperate to go take care of my hand.

"Why would you do this to yourself, Mia? You know better. You know you could get ink poisoning or an infection or something," My dad chimed in, having shifted his attention from my nephews to me and giving me a look only a disappointed dad can give.

"Because I wanted to and that's all that matterd. Mason and Maggie got tattoos and piercings and nobody batted an eye, but I do it and everyone loses their minds? How is that fair?"I questioned them, which actually made them go quiet. "I'm an adult too and I can make my own decisions. If I want your input, I'll ask but until then, I don't want to hear it."

"Fine. If you wanna throw away all your values and destroy your body for a boy, go for it. But don't come crying to me when he leaves you for some other groupie or something," Grandma huffed angrily. "I've been around a long time, Mia. I know how guys like him are."

"Hey listen, I'm sorry you seem to have had some bad experiences with men, but that doesn't mean we are all like them. And it absolutely does not give you the right to treat Mia like that. I don't know what makes you think that's in any way okay, but it's not. Especially since you're family,"Michael snapped at her as he wrapped his arms around me and ushered me toward the back door,"And by the the way, you're wrong. I love Mia with every fiber of my being and I have no intention of ever leaving her. In fact, I hope to marry her some day. When we are both fully ready, of course. Now, in case you haven't noticed, Mia is hurt and needs a doctor."

This seemed to stun everyone into silence for a moment before my grandma grumbled something about it getting dark(she doesn't like driving at night) and gathered her things to leave. My brothers and my dad helped her to her car and Maggie took some leftovers to her car for her. Then Miles and Mason drove Michael and I to the hospital, which luckily is only about 5 minutes away from Maggie's house.

I barely noticed any of this till Michael and I were were in a room waiting to be seen, mostly because of the pain but also because Michael's words were replaying over and over in my head.

"You alright?" Michael murmured, brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

"Did you just...tell my whole family you want to marry me?" I gazed up at him wide eyed.

"Out of everything that just happened, that's what you're thinking about right now?" he asked, incredulously.

"You can't just say something like that and expect me to forget about it," I said. "You know me better than that."

"True," he said. "It kinda just came out before I could stop it. But honestly, I meant every word."

I smiled warmly at him as my heart swelled. Sometimes I still couldn't believe he was really mine.

"I love you," I sighed happily, kissing him.

"I know," He said softly, deepening the kiss and pulling me closer as I snaked my good arm around his neck.

"AHHH MY EYES! MY EYES!" I heard Mason doing a hilarious impression of Phoebe from Friends as he came back in and saw us making out.

We laughed as we pulled apart and watched him get smacked in the back of the head by Miles, who had appeared behind him.

"We're in a hospital, you idiot. You can't yell shit like that here," Miles reprimanded Mason.

"On the upside, it might get the doctor in here faster," Michael snorted. "Do American hospitals always take this long to treat people?"

"Actually a lot longer sometimes. Hospitals kind of suck here," Mason said.

"That's fucking stupid. This is an emergency room," Michael said, glancing down at me worriedly as I leaned on him.

"Welcome to America, buddy," Mason quipped, clapping Michael on the back.

Michael rolled his eyes and shrugged his hand off as the doctor finally came into the room.

The doctor examined my hand, and ordered an x-ray. The x-ray showed that my wrist and thumb were broken so they reset the bones before wrapping it in a cast, which I requested to be purple.

They also gave me a high dose of pain medicine, which meant that Miles had to drive us back to Tessa's. When we got there, Michael explained what happened, since I was too out of it now, and Tessa offered to take us to the airport tomorrow and take our rental car back for us. He agreed.

Michael carried me upstairs to the guest room and helped me change into one of his hoodies and some fuzzy panda pajama pants before tucking me under the covers.

"Goodnight, my love," he murmured as he kissed my forehead and turned toward the door.

"Mikey don't gooooo," I pouted, reaching for him. "Mikey cuddle meee."

"Okay, fine. Just give me a second," he said, chuckling and going out the door. He returned a few minutes later in a long sleeve tshirt and some pajama pants. I reached for him again and he snuggled with me under the covers, careful not to hurt my wrist further.

"My Mikey," I mumbled sleepily, nuzzling my face into his chest. "I love my Mikey."

"I love you, too, baby," he giggled, "And you're so cute when you're high as balls on painkillers. But you need to sleep now."

I looked up at him with big puppy dog eyes and he sighed.

"You want me to sing, don't you?" he asked.

I nodded, still doing the puppy dog eyes.

"Only for you," he said, before very softly serenading me with my favorite song.

"Throwing rocks at your window at midnight

You met me in your backyard that night

In the moonlight you looked just like an angel in disguise..."

I relaxed into his arms and listened happily.

About halfway through the chorus, Michael's beautiful, angelic voice began to fade away as I slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

*********

OUTFITS:

[redbelles]

For your bird ask meme what about 🦤, 🦅 and 🦜?

🦤 a quote you had to delete

It will return. She will greet it in the manor’s pool, in the vast mirror of the lake; in the night sky of her own heart.

i'm pretty sure you watched me delete this in real time, but! axed from wolves, o wolves (o can't you see) because i was already doing enough with language and metaphor that i needed to simplify where i could. jury's out on whether or not i succeeded, but it's an elden ring fic, so i feel like a i get a pass either way lmao

🦅 an angsty quote

tw: non-explicit child abuse, discussion of abortion

It pours out of him like water from a broken pipe: in spasms, in torrents, in bursts. He can’t control it. He tells her about the boyfriends, the ones who were okay, mostly, and the ones who slapped her around, who hit him, about the blur of apartments and park benches and even that one terrible shelter he doesn’t like to think about. Huddling on stoops or riding aimlessly on the subway, tearing through books like if he just tried hard enough he could vanish inside them and pretend away the hours and hours spent waiting until he could risk coming back to whatever shithole apartment they had that month, hoping she would be sober, hoping the boyfriend would be gone, hoping there would be food in the fridge. Liz getting falling down drunk and crying about everything she couldn’t give him. Getting blitzed and raging that she should have walked into a clinic and spared herself the fucking trouble, slurring shoulda just bled you out and been done with it.

from chapter one of something in the night; jess mariano makes my heart hurt, but we knew this already :/

🦜 a pretty quote

Beside her, Jon shows no signs of discomfort. No emotion at all: whatever shred of tenderness bade him hold her in the godswood has all but vanished. Gone like the summer, gone like her songs. His face might well be carved from stone, as still and stern as the Kings of Winter in the darkness of their crypts. The thought lodges in her chest like a knife.  A king who gave away his crown, a part of her snarls, but she is so tired. The hollowness that consumed her in the wake of her rage has yet to subside. It makes the task of gathering her thoughts more difficult than it should be. They slip through her fingers like currents in a river, swift and shapeless. Still, the image lingers: Jon, crowned in bronze and iron. Jon, abandoning his people. Abandoning—

chapter four of our hands are cold, the moon sets low is fighting me (and, uh, winning) but there's a lot of lovely prose in there! at least there's that!

send me some asks from the wip game of birds!

[visit-ba-sing-se]

They say a lot of things about death. For example, that death doesn't care. Or that you have to leave all your possession behind when you die. The later is mostly true, but not completely.

There is, in fact, one thing everyone gets to take with them - a key. And before you doubt me on this, let me tell you, I should know - since I am the one who picks them up. I meet them at their hospital bed or on the battlefield, in wrecked cars and at dinner tables, in their office or in a parking loft. And every time I tell them that it is now time to walk with me, they get to choose the key they bring.

Of course, this means I've seen as many different keys as I have seen people. And yet, no matter how different they are, whether they are old and rusty or polished and silver, whether they are house keys or car keys, the keys to a locker or a treasure chest, whether they have to be carried with both hands or are hanging from a fine necklace, or even when they are just the picture of keys to a dreamhouse someone never got to build- they all fit the same lock, in the same purple door.

I don't how or why this door works. Truth be told, I don't even know why it's purple. All I know is that is my job to make sure everyone goes through it.

What lies behind the door, however, is as different as the keys. I know that that part is technically none of my business, which ends, like my responsibility, at the doorstep. I should not care about what waits behind it. I'm known to be indifferent, after all.

And yet, for whatever reason, I have stolen glimpses.

I have seen living rooms filled with laughing people, and offices filled with nothing but ticking clocks on the wall. I have seen an old man sitting on a porch in the evening sun, smiling and waving at the woman who had just unlocked the door with her clunky house key, and an abandoned bus station at night, waiting for the man with the keys to a lamborghini. I have heard songs to all kinds of melodies and in all kinds of tongues, and I have smelled the smell of fresh bread and burning trees and concrete after the summer rain.

I didn't always understand what I saw. Not because I didn't know what certain things were- I know pretty much everything, and I don't say this to brag. It comes with the job. It's the 'why' I lacked sometimes. The bigger picture for the little pieces I got before the door closed again, forever separating me from the world I saw, and them from the life they left behind.

I often thought that maybe if I had that 'why', I'd also understand or maybe even care why some people have tears in their eyes when they pass through the frame, and some a smile on their lips. Or why some start running, ready to embrace whatever awaits them, and others try to bargain or even fight, usually the people with keys to mansions and yachts and safes at the bank.

But I didn't. And I knew that even if I did, it wouldn't change a thing. Everyone has cross the doorstep in the end. I couldn't grant them the second chance they plead for, even if I wanted to. I am no judge nor jury, only the executioner, and once you meet me, there is no going back or trying again - there is only one last journey, and the destination is always final.

I know it sounds strange, but sometimes I envied them. All of them, even the once who fight tooth and nail to avoid crossing over the doorstep. Because after all, they had a place that was meant for them. An end to their journey. Somewhere they fully belonged, for better or worse.

Until I met her.

A little girl in a coat that used to be white, but now had turned just as grey as the rubble and ruins on the street that I picked her up from. A small creature in the midst of an excess of human caused destruction, a picture I at this point was awfully familiar with. She listened carefully as I explained where we would be going, and that she would need her key for the door, but then she asked:

"What key?"

For a moment, I didn't know what to say, even though it admitly sounded like a simple question. Especially if you consider for how long had been doing this job, and the nearly countless questions I has been asked before. And yet, no one had ever asked that one. Usually, people just knew, which was something else I had simply accepted as fact.

"Maybe for the house you lived in?"

I then tried, and when she remained quiet, added: "You surely must have had a home at some point."

The girl shook her head.

"I can't remember. My mom used to say we had one, and that we would go back to it one day since it would be where we belong"

She paused.

"But I don't know. I've also once heard someone say that people like me belong nowhere."

The girl offered me her open, empty palms.

"And I guess you can't have keys to nowhere."

"Whoever told to that was lying. Everyone belongs somewhere."

That's what I had always known for a fact. But it didn't change that she had no key, which at this point, I also had to accept as fact.

"Really? What about you then?"

She looked me up and down.

"Where's your place? And your key?"

"My place is in the in-between. And I don't need a key for that."

The girl stayed silent for quiet a while, and her face was moving as carefully thought about answer. Then she asked: "So if you don't have a key and I don't have key....maybe I belong with you?"

It was a somewhat charming, and yet of course absurd idea. The in-between was no place for a human, dead or alive, and I was no one to keep company. I nearly would and maybe also should have told her just that- if it hadn't been for this tiny spark of hope in her eyes. Still hidden and hesitant, but clearly there. At least to someone who has looked into as many eyes as I have. I know, I am supposed to be indifferent. But also, everyone is supposed to have a key. And besides, what choice did I have anyway? It wasn't like I could just leave her behind.

"Seems like you do. At least for now."

I put my hands in her open palms, and she took them with no hesitation.

It was one of those time again where humans seemed to be particularly fond of killing each other, and she accompanied me while I guided every single one of them to the door. Together, we watched them pass through it, and sometimes she recognized things from the other side. A certain song or smell. And then she explained them to me, or at least she tried to.

Most people didn't question her appearance. Once you accept that death came to pick you and walk you, out of all places, to a purple door, it probably becomes easy to accept a lot of other things as well.

Until I picked up her.

A woman with the look of someone who has both lived for too short and too long, and who the girl in white called "mom".

"Let her go with me." She just said, as soon as our eyes met. "She's my daughter. We belong together. And I have the keys to our house."

It wasn't a question. If anything, it was a demand. People have demanded a lot from me through the ages. Never with any success of course.

But there was just something about the way she looked at me. And how despite everything they had to have seen, there was still love in her eyes. Love for the girl that was standing by my side, and who was looking back at her mother with the same love in her own.

The girl who had taught me why humans sometimes light candles even if they have electric light, and why they sing songs even if they can't hit any note right. The girl who was never meant to be here at first place.

The girl who helped me understand maybe a bit too well. Well enough that I understood just then. And that I let her go.

Hand in hand, they walked towards the door, into a room where they were greeted by the sound of laughter and clinking glasses. Already standing on the frame, the girl turned around. She smiled at me and waved, and for a moment, it looked like she was inviting me to follow her in. But only a moment. Then the door shut, and she was gone, finally having arrived home.

They say a lot of things about death. That death doesn't care, for example. This is mostly true, but not completely. And trust me, I should now.

There is a purple door somewhere with a single key hole. It will open regardless of the key that is used. All keys can open this door, but what‘s on the other side, however, depends entirely on the key.

[bishiglomper]

I layed down for a nap. Had vertigo the whole time. When I sleep with vertigo it feels like I'm slowly spinning on a raft. Also my brain was noisy. But I had coherent dreams

My dreams were in chapters. First set of dreams I was in POV of the villain! Which was so cool. I even got a simple run down of his motivations because there was like this introspective monologue. Also it was set inside a video game. Like an imersive one. Which I think he was semi-aware of the fact. I vaguely remember thinking is this file safe? Would it corrode or get corrupted? What if it ends up the last file and it gets lost?

I remember flying around and using powers that use the terrain which... a LOT of areas used wet sand as both terrain and puzzle mechanics and all sorts of uses. There was a musical number. I remember participating like I was a stand in for the villain but I was just playing the part. Shooting up geysers of wet sand pillars.

I remember interacting with some bad-side characters. Both were hermit crabs. 🤔 one little crab controlled a wave wall. If the heroine dug into her hidden alcove and found her she could control a wall of wet sand that dropped to pass a wall of water an access a higher pool. Another was there was a garage full of mechanic hermit crabs that looked like theme park rides. Their shells were barred cages that rose and fell and yu had to avoid getting trapped in the sequence or it'd hold you and gas you with poison. I remember thinking. "Nooo I'm the boss, remember? I KNOW I should know the sequence but cut me some slack!!" Lmao

I even tried to shift around in between the bars and panels but the game logic wasn't letting me haha

I remember lucid dream controlling my power to fly around and investigate the plot. There was supposed to be a heroine. Depending on how she cleared baddies, she had a party. If she failed to save some from their plots though..

There was some rewinding and jury rigging some shit.

There was like a trolley ride through a carpeted hallway. Like at a hotel. Had arches of stairs it went over. There was a guy at a counter at the start and you could obtain goodies like fair inflatable swords people dropped if you scooped them up after someone dropped them. Couldn't get out though. Had to grab as you passed.

Heroine had to jury rig a fishing line for something? She grabbed a bottle of foundation that was an item but there was only enough for one use. Which she used to paint her toenails. Low render mechanics. Slathered it on and it transformed I to painted nails. Which had 3 variations. I remember a companion being like " wheres mine? That not fair."

Then she had to fight a woman/beast sitting in The middle of a vast space in the hotel that was basementy and filled with water. I think it was only like 5ft deep. Too small to drown or hide enemies but too big to maneuver well.

And then there were chapters with alastor and I was thinking I'm sad he's not real because I seriously wanna know his reaction to asexuals, aromantics and queer platonic relationships. 🫠 also how would he react to being confessed to? Like would he be an ass or handle it gently? It was killing me not knowing 🫣 I went over to figure it out. Next thing I know we took turns having our hands handcuffed to a bench sort of thing and we took tidbits of eachother to snack on. Weird ass cannibal mf'ers. 🤷‍♀️

I wanna go back to flying mode as the villain. I practically had creator privileges (part as lucid dreamer, part as main antagonist) I loved flying around with my powers and just going about the overworld

Not so much when I lost control over the power though. I got hit with shards of glass and temporarily forgot how to power everything because it hurt and I didn't want to crunch more glass in my legs. 😬

[nordalanche]

i like the glimpses of the rangers, avs, and leafs you've shown before, and wouldn't mind more details about all of those teams! i also am a pens fan, do you have any headcanons for them?

So sorry this has taken so long but I've been deciding. I don't like to go back on the dynamics I assign in this universe after I've made them so I was making sure they were right.

I've never written anything involving the Rangers but I've always wondered about Artemi Panarin. I see him as a sub who has hidden his dynamic and presented as an adynamic for his whole life in Russia in fear of what would happen to him in the more traditional country. He thought once he got to North America he could reveal it, but being passed over in the draft and the series of trades from Chicago to Columbus to New York made him too nervous and unsettled and it wasn't until he got to NYC and became friends with Mika and Chris (who are together) that he finally felt comfortable revealing his dynamic. I don't really ship him with anyone, but that might change later.

As for the Pens, me, like so many others, see Sidney Crosby as a submissive and Geno as his dom. I've always seen them like that, but my interest in the Pens lies more with Flower and Kris Letang. I've always seen Fleury as a sub who doesn't have to deal with as much media attention as other subs deal with (like Sid) because he's a goalie. However, his submissive nature makes him feel extremely bad about himself when he lets his team down, especially in the playoffs. For years, he platonically submits to doms on the team while pinning after Tanger, but never gets a long-term partner. He eventually starts to be replaced by Tristan Jarry, which drives his self-confidence so low he goes to Vegas. He holds it together through spite through the regular season, but after losing in the finals, he goes into a deep subdrop, and then Sid, Geno, and Tanger fly out to help him and convince him to find a way back to Pittsburg. The jury is out on if he ever gets together with Tanger. Sorry, this one is a bit of a rare pair haha.

Now, the Avs are my fav team, so I have plenty of headcanons for them. You might have even noticed the one line I wrote about sub-Georgiev being smothered by dom-Igor who stole the spotlight and left Georgie as a forgotten-about scapegoat.

However, Nathan MacKinnon steals the spotlight here. Nathan MacKinnon is a dom. Through and through. He's a dom who has failed with every relationship he's ever tried to have with a sub. He failed with Drouin. He failed with Sidney. And, he failed with Tyson Barrie when he was traded to Toronto. Nate always sees it as his fault. It's like the announcers say: he's too intense, too serious, too harsh. Why would anyone want to be with a dom like that? He's too overbearing for subs. He ruins them. It's best if he keeps to himself and EJ and Gabe and plays the game and tries to win, win, win no matter what.

He turns his head when Sammy rests his forehead on EJ's chest and sighs after a hard practice. And, he never looks when Burky kneels for Gabe or Kadri in the locker room. That's not for Nate. He can't handle the responsibility of someone else's submission. His hands are far too bloodied from fighting.

Then, one day, Cale arrives. And, Cale is quiet and nice and overly polite and everything a Canadian sub is taught to be. His cheeks blush with every compliment and he's endlessly innocent. He calls his college professors from the parking lot of Ball Arena while Nate nurses sore knuckles from fights he shouldn't be in.

Yet, Cale isn't afraid of Nate. He doesn't pull the Mikko routine and as Gabe to text Nate for him (even years later, that story makes Nate burn with embarrassment and disappointment with himself). Cale tells Nate what he's thinking and takes Nate's critiques in stride. Even though he tries to avoid it, Nate finds himself forming a friendship with Cale.

Basically: Nate is super scarred from failed relationships, personal failures, and the words of the media and bans himself from ever being with a sub again. Because of this, he becomes closed-off and harsh, especially because he's not satisfying his needs as a dom. Cale comes along and heals him little by little along the way by teaching Nate healthy ways to deal with failure and good communication.

It certainly helps that they like the same things in bed: Cale on his knees with Nate above him and Nate's hand on Cale's neck pushing his nose into the crease of his hip where the smell of sweat is the strongest.

[thespiritofvexation]

OH!☝ I've been really into this idea since before this years eurovision, but now I'm worried that people would compare them to Käärijä and be mean about it and I'd have to fight them because I unapologetically and unironically love Hooja and I'm not ashamed to admit it. They make me happy! Maybe I've been brainwashed by the EPA-kids blasting their music on the parking lot when I'm trying to sleep because I have a job but anyway...

The problem with swedes is that we are desperately afraid of making fools of ourselves. A common reaction to the songs we send to eurovision is "well atleast we don't have to be ashamed...:/", it would be nice if we realised that there's something worse than being embarrassing, and that's being BORING and SAFE! (Sadly the jury isn't helping)

The rest of the world might believe that what we send to eurovision is what swedes listen to on the daily, and while that may be partially true let me also introduce you to Hooja! Here's their performance at the P3 guld-gala where they won the prize for artist of the year (voted by the people):

You may not understand a word they're singing (a shame, because that's a big part of the appeal), but a stuffed moose on wheels and a fire extinguisher would be quite fun at eurovision right?

They were also the most requested artist at last year's Musikhjälpen, here's their biggest hit performed at that event, just to show you that even southern swedes love these northern lads:

A music video, to highlight their aesthetics:

You're wondering about their outfits? Well the scooter masks are for anonymity (and also for driving snow scooters), but apart from that, they look like any person at the grocery store north of Sundsvall (my pants are red/black and my fuzzy jacket is longer and green, but this is basically how I look more often than not). Anyway, one last video because I like this song:

Iceland 2021. Norway 2022. Finland 2023.

What do they have in common? Yes, FUN! Colours! Catchy! A sense of humour! Silly dancing! Originality!

And Sweden? No, absolutely not. We've been sending boring generic pop for so long, if any of these entries were in our selection process, they've would've (outrageously!) not been selected.

Next year, please send HOOJA! 😂 I'm not even a massive fan, but I crave something silly. It doesn't have to rank well, just send it and redeem us. In Swedish, please, rapping in a northern Swedish/slightly Finnish accent. Be less serious, I beg you. It's getting pretentious.

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.