#fight me but I think I will never like Christmas
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classiccowboy · 1 day ago
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instagram j.b.
summary: follow joe and his wife evie as they go through his football career.
series masterlist
evie
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liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and others
evie: peaked at 0°
@alo @millyg
view all 829 comments…
user: winter cutie
> evie: ⛄️
lahjay10_: you know how to ride those things???
> evie: don’t be projecting your insecurities…
> lahjay10_: imma take that as a hell nah 🤣💀
user: wow looks cold
> evie: very observant of you. it was indeed cold.
alo: 🩵🩵🩵🩵
joeyb_9: snow princess. ❄️
joeyb_9: come home soon.
joeyb_9: and never leave me again.
> evie: i have a velcro hubby.
user: not joey missing his mommy 😉
> evie: PLEASE! I cannot do this. 😭
millyg: maybe getting drunk and skiing down a mountain was not our brightest idea. who’s going to tell joey that you sprained your ankle.
> evie: you apparently..
> evie: jb im okay i swear. its not that serious baby.
joeyb_9
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liked by evie and others
joeyb_9: still having fun
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user: good to hear
user: @evie i thought we talked about the pink?
> evie: guys.. i’m sorry okay? sometimes when your man looks that good you’ve just got to take the chance.
> evie: what i mean is.. i was very distracted when he walked out in this.
> millyg: she’s literally just a girl yall.
user: we aren’t
user: as you should my guy!
evie: love you baby!
> joeyb_9: i love you pretty girl.
> evie: also.. it’s very much giving patrick star (iykyk)
user: blink twice if you are being held hostage
user: your stylist has you right
user: MVP fr
> evie: ‼️
evie
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liked by bengals and others
evie: nashville 📍
view all 472 comments…
user: this game was so ?????
> evie: truly a roller coaster of emotions
user: i love ja’marr
> evie: i also love ja’marr
> user: weird thing to say about your mans bff
> evie: i think you’re the one making it weird. 🥴
joeyb_9: are you following me?
> evie: am i one of those girls that stalk their celebrity crush?
user: feels good to get a win. WHO DEY
> evie: yk what.. hell yeah!
user: rough game
joeyb_9
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liked by bengals, evie, and others
joeyb_9: professional playmaker
view all 2,811 comments…
lahjay10_: 🎱 mile
user: sick play
user: what a dog
evie: my pookie king joey. ur so cool.
> joeyb_9: why do you do this to me???
> evie: love you pookie. 🤪
> user: this is great.
> user: so are we trading in jb for pookie???
> joeyb_9: pls don’t.
user: GOATED
bengals: SUPERMAN! 😤
user: mvp and it ain’t even close
evie
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liked by joeyb_9 and others
evie: once upon a christmas..
view all 821 comments…
user: you skipped joes birthday.
> evie: i would never skip my baes birthday!
user: this is cute
lahjay10_: tell me why joe snowman is mute
> evie: he just skipped that part 🤣
> joeyb_9: in my defense i couldn’t focus because ja’marr and amelia were screaming at each other in the next room over mario cart.
> millyg: don’t bring me into this my snowman has a mouth…
> user: the kids are fighting
user: merry christmas to the burrows!
user: ev i love your slippers
user: i love that you so casually post your relationship. like it’s so normal?
> evie: it is normal????????
joeyb_9
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liked by evie, sam_hubbard_, and others
joeyb_9: smooth operator
view all 2,551 comments…
user: smoothest operator in town
user: MVP
evie: sometimes babygirl is a 6’4 cincinnati qb, and that’s okay.
> joeyb_9: sometimes babygirl is my wife, actually no sometimes about it. love you babygirl.
> user: this is very important to me
> user: i fear i will never get over these two.
> user: they could never make me hate jovie
user: 🐐
user: all that to still miss the playoffs
evie
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liked by bengals and others
evie: well, that’s all folks. #yearfive
view all 1,830 comments…
user: you are the ultimate wag
lahjay10_: you are the best of the best ev, always our biggest supporter.
> evie: love you j.
user: words can’t express how sad i am
joeyb_9: i’ll say it every time, i couldn’t do this without you. no matter how tough things get you always show me the bright side. you cheer for me even when i don’t deserve it. thank you for being you ev.
> evie: i’d support you even if you were the shittiest qb of all time. obviously that’s not true, you’re the best and anyone who thinks otherwise is just jealous. they know their wives would leave them for you.
> user: EV 🤣
> user: you always say the most out of pocket stuff I CANNOT!
> evie: okay so maybe i took it too far.. nobody’s wife is getting my husband. sorry not sorry.
user: get my guy a defense
user: the saddest send to the saddest season.
joeyb_9
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liked by lahjay10_, and others
joeyb_9: Season to remember, sorry you won’t get to watch anymore. Year 5 in the books.
view all 8,640 comments…
lahjay10_: MVP LOADING
> evie: let them know mr 👑👑👑
user: continue to inspire, 9.
evie: it’s okay.. you’ll finish the story one day.
> joeyb_9: i know damn well..
> evie: okay, jokes aside.. i’m proud of you always jb. you are the most inspiring and resilient person i know. i’m lucky that i get to have you forever. love you more than words.
> joeyb_9: my wife. 🧡
user: chiefs were scared
user: it’s always a pleasure to watch you play
user: until next season joe!
evie’s stories..
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annymation · 14 hours ago
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Sonic Movie 4 Theory 💙
Hey guys! Since Sonic Movie 3 has been consuming my brain, specially that post credits scene, I’ve decided to write down my predictions to what will happen in the next movie.
I’ll probably be wrong, but that’s ok, theories are not meant to be 100% accurate, they’re just fun to make, and I’ve came up with some ideas that I really wanna share, feel free to share your own theories in the comments or add whatever you think might make my theory even better.
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Alright, let’s begin
What can we learn from Amy’s first appearance?
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So from the little time we get from her we can catch a few things:
1. She already has plenty of fighting experience against these Metal Sonics
2. Her hammer is futuristic looking
3. She has a hooded cape, like, she’s not meant to be seen by anyone else
4. This last one is important: Her smile implies she already knows Sonic
With all of that in mind, I believe this Amy is from the future, but as I’ll explain, she’s not from far away in the future, rather… She’s from the time Sonic Movie 4 ends.
That’ll make sense in a sec, probably, I hope so, we'll see.
To make this theory make sense, first, imma talk about where I got my inspiration for it… Soooo
Have you guys watched Howl’s Moving Castle?
The Howl’s Moving Castle paradox theory✨
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That’s how I’m calling my theory by the way, since it was what inspired the whole idea of it.
So, to explain my theory, I’ll have to give yall a mild spoiler of this Studio Ghibli movie, in case you haven’t watched it, it’s surprisingly not a big deal in the narrative but in any case, you’ve been warned.
Still here? Good, so here's the spoiler
At the end of Howl’s Moving Castle, we get a scene Sophie goes back in time, she sees past Howl, and screams to him, asking him to come find her in the future, as she’s being sucked in back to present day
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This scene gives new meaning to the scene at the start of the movie when Howl “first met” Sophie, and he said:
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Soooo why am I bringing this up? Well, I believe Amy is having the same role Sophie had in that movie, and of course, Sonic is getting Howl’s role, but, while in Howl’s Moving Castle we followed Sophie’s point of view, in Sonic 4, it's like we're following Howl's POV, or in this case, Sonic's.
You might already have an idea where I’m going with this.
Where Is Present Amy?
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As I've mentioned, I believe that Amy we saw at the post credits scene is from the future, well, that begs the question, where is the Amy from the NOW?
That's up to Sonic to find out.
Just like how Sophie was forcefully brought back to her time after meeting past Howl, I believe this Amy will disappear too, because she can’t stay in that point in time for too long, but before disappearing, she’ll ask Sonic to look for her in their home planet, which we'll be referring to as Mobius.
However, before she can tell him specifically where he can find her, her time will run out. Future Amy will be gone, leaving behind a very confused blue hedgehog, and one sack of rings.
Before she left, all she had time to tell Sonic was “find me on planet mobius, on the island-“ and then she was gone in a poof of green sparkles reminiscent of the green stars we see when time traveling in Sonic CD.
With that as their only clue, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles will have a very hard time finding her, considering that the whole planet is full of islands.
South Island, Christmas Island, Cocoa Island, Starfall Islands, West Side Island and MANY many more.
But despite the odds not being in their favor, they go anyway, with backpacks full of snacks for the trip of course, and the rings Future Amy left behind.
We’d get, let’s say, a 3 minutes montage accompanied with music of the boys going through various Game locations, from both old and new Sonic games, and probably some much needed lore exposition from Knuckles and Tails, with Sonic being amazed by the planet he never got to know more about.
That’d satisfy fans that want to see more game lore stuff while also not costing the animators that much to design all the anthropomorphic animal characters in the background and so on.
Of course, it’s not easy finding a pink hedgehog among millions of other animal people in a whole planet, but Sonic doesn’t care, he gotta know who she was, and how she can help them deal with those knock-off robot versions of him, they may strike again at any moment... Also she was really pretty but that surely is unrelated to why he wants to find her so much *cough cough*
So, to make matters worse, the wind blows away a sketch Sonic had made of Amy to help them identify her, it falls on a lake, but, much to the boys luck, it’s pulled out of the water by a fishing hook… And they encounter a certain big friendly purple cat.
Yeah, I know this is getting into fanfic territory, but hey, with the little info I have currently I kinda have to make stuff up, plus, the writers have shown interest in inserting Big the Cat in these movies for a WHILE now, but never got a good excuse to do it. This is my take on how they could implement him into the narrative in a natural way, that wouldn't just make the 3D modelers make a whole BIG character to be a blink and you'll miss it reference in the background.
Back to the plot, Big gives them the sketch back, but with it being all wet, they don’t have much hope left that they’ll ever find the girl they’re looking for. Big laments that their drawing got ruined, and as they’re leaving he casually adds “It was a really good drawing of Amy, I’m sure she’d like it”
Their ears perk up as they quickly turn to the cat, and Big confirms he does know her, they’re neighbors, and she was currently on an adventure of her own, apparently looking for some kind of “destined encounter” as she had put it. Big gives them the location where they can find her.
Which would be riiiiiiiight here
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I believe this location is called Never Lake, but Idk if it's canon or just an Archie Comics thing, either way, I'm calling it Never Lake.
Anyway this segment is already getting pretty long so I’ll make this brief, Sonic finds Amy, on his own, Knuckles and Tails went to different sides of the island to look for her, it’s important their first meeting is just the two of them.
I have three ideas to how this first meeting could go:
When he finds her, she could either be on her own, distracted as she checks her tarot cards and Sonic awkwardly interrupts it, startling her, making the cards flow away in the wind, to which Sonic catches them quickly, which both impresses Amy and proves to her the cards were right, she got her destined encounter.
2. Alternatively, she could not be alone, she was being attacked by a group of hooligans *cough cough* Fang, Bean and Bark *cough cough* and Sonic proceeds to save her while being a lil a snarky trickster and making her laugh during the whole rescue.
Either one of these first encounter ideas works for me because both set up Amy being certain Sonic is the one her cards told her about, however, even though seeing more mobian characters and get a cute scene of Sonic fighting bad guys is cool, I do prefer option number one, for reasons that will become more clear in a sec.
. . .
Ok the sec is over, the reason is because I think another Metal Sonic would show up and try to kidnap Amy and having her being rescued twice is redundant, his motivation? Some version of her from a different point in time just wrecked a whole army of them of course, so he's trying to get her before she can become that future self (time travel sure is messy to write but work with me here)
Sonic, now accompanied with Tails and Knuckles defeat him, preferably also with Amy's help so we can get some main 4 action we've been waiting for, and now, they got a deactivated Metal Sonic laying on the floor, ready for Tails to take to his workshop (aka the garage) and figure out where, or rather, when this thing came from, get some memory files, and most importantly, find out how it time travels.
Gathering all that data, Tails is able to unlock the secrets of time travel, and also he figures out that changing the past will not change the future this Metal Sonic comes from, how is that? Welp, let me explain
How Will Time Travel Work?
In science fiction there are 3 types of time travel theories:
The Fixed Timeline
The Dynamic Timeline
The Multiverse
For this theory, we are going with the idea Sonic 4 will follow the rules of the Multiverse Theory
Don't let that name fool you, I'm not saying we gonna get Sonics from other universes crossing over like game Sonic, boom Sonic, Sanic or whatever, no, here's how it works:
According to this theory, when a time traveler journeys to the past, or future, they do not travel within their own timeline but rather to a parallel timeline. This means that any actions taken in the past do not affect their original timeline, thereby avoiding paradoxes.
Think of it this way, let's say you have two choices, you can choose between going to the mall or staying home, in one timeline you chose to stay home, in the other you went to the mall, in this theory, those two timelines still exist as different universes, like a river dividing in two different directions, the choices we make create different branching timelines.
I think a fun way Tails could explain this to the group would be using the logic of video games, like, imagine he explaining while geeking out and we get visuals referencing classic Sonic games.
In a video game, there's two ways a level can go, you either pass, or you get a game over, now, what happens when you get a game over? As in, what happens in the game's story, well, the bad guy wins, but that doesn't really matter since you can just restart and try again, right? Right, at the end of the game we always end with the "timeline" where the hero didn't die at all, but, what about those alternative timelines we DID get a game over?
Tails explains that he believes these robot versions of Sonic come from an alternative timeline where Sonic DID get a "game over", thus creating a "Bad Future".
By saying "game over" Tails would't be implying Sonic died btw, he believes Sonic just got captured in this alternative future and needs some help heheh how naive what, who said that?
Anyway, now that we got the logistics of time travel, I guess it's about time we address the metallic hedgehog in the room.
What's The Deal With Metal Sonic(s)
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So, from the little we've seen from Metal in that post credit scene, one thing is certain, he wanted Sonic dead.
That to me at least kinda confirms the movie will work with the Multiverse logic in mind, because otherwise, if Metal were to kill past Sonic then the events in the timeline would change drastically, that is, if we were going with a Dynamic timeline where past events affect the future. In the Multiverse theory, killing Sonic in that moment would simply create a new timeline where Sonic just went for a race with Tails and Knuckles, disappeared and never came back home, a new bad future.
And that, my friends, is what I think those Metal Sonic's were trying to do, going back in time to different moments where Sonic was alone, distracted and helpless, just to eliminate him over and over and over again, creating a bunch of branching timelines where Sonic get's his game over, by an enemy he doesn't even know.
Think of it as Metal taking the "There can only be one Sonic" thing to the next level, there can only be one timeline where a Sonic wins, and that Sonic is ME.
It makes sense right? At least I think it does, you tell me.
I'm working with what we've seen so far, all we got was Sonic distracted and all alone, then Metal showing up like the Exterminator, indicating he's from the future, put those two informations together and my brain says "Metal is going back in time to kill Sonic in all the moments in his life he was alone and distracted"....... My brain is kinda crazy tho ngl.
And with the little information we got I'm about to go even crazier as I explain what lead to Metal's creation.
I'm still pondering how Eggman would work in this theory, I'm torn between just saying he died and Shadow survived and crash landed because he's just THAT durable, or, both him and Shadow time traveled to the future through Chaos Control. Either way, sounds good, I'm undecided, but let's say Agent Stone started to work on Metal Sonic first, then a few years later Robotnik just popped up again in the narrative because Shadow just made a Chaos Control that took them to the future actually, so they're fiiiiiine, this is the part of the theory I'm least sure of.
Events That Lead To The Bad Future
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In this segment I'll describe what I believe happens in the alternative timeline Metal Sonic comes from, all the following events would be narrated through exposition and flashbacks, not actually play out in the movie for too long, just thought it was important to make that clear.
After the events of Sonic 3, Stone spiraled down into deep resentment towards Team Sonic, believing it's Sonic's fault for the doctor slowly going insane and ultimately resulting in his supposed death.
So, he decides to finish what the doctor started, by creating a robot that could not only match, but also surpass Sonic.
We know from Sonic 2 that Stone has at the very least SOME knowledge of technology, he changed a whole coffee shop into a secret base. However, even though he is skilled, I don't think Stone could ever make Metal Sonic on his first try (Nor Eggman honestly)
So he started with prototypes, sending them to cause havoc so Sonic and friends would fight them, and he could collect more data about how Sonic fights
And each time, model after model, Sonic would always beat these "knockoff" Sonics, and each time, they'd come back improved, but never good enough to defeat them.
Perfect opportunity for us to get a flashback or exposition with these guys being these prototypes
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Years go by, let's say, 5 years, with Sonic now being 20 years old, Knuckles is 21 and Tails is 13, and in between that time Eggman and Shadow also came back through Shadow's Chaos Control (Again, this is the part of the theory I'm most iffy about, could use some ideas from ya'll).
So far the future is bright for the boys, they went through many adventures together, are way more skilled and fought so many pesky robots it's practically a game for them at this point.
It's not a game for prototype Metal though, who has retained the memories of all his defeats, every single time Sonic has mocked him with a cheeky grin, every failure, reminding him he's not good enough.
From that, something sparks inside of Metal's programing...
Hatred.
He's tired of this vicious cycle, tired of following orders from both Eggman and Stone. However, he's still confined by his programming, an un-willing servant who wants to break free but simply can't.
Until one day, Metal get's a whole new look, as usual, he's sent to fight Sonic and friends, once again as he always does... But something different happens.
He manages to disobey.
When Eggman orders Metal to attack Sonic, Metal decides a diferent strategy, and attacks Tails instead, knowing that Sonic would throw himself in front of his little brother to protect him, and indeed that's what happens... Metal did't miss his shot.
For the first time in one of these battles Sonic got injured, not seriously injured but enough to impress Eggman, shock Stone and give Metal a huge boost in his confidence, and mainly his ego.
The villains get away, with Stone now worried with how Metal seems to be deviating from his programing and wanting to do things his own way, while Eggman is just over the moon knowing Metal's artificial intelligence has advanced so much, he decides to go a step further, giving Metal more freedom to do as he pleases without the need of commands, and also uses Sonic's quill to power him even more, announcing their little project is out of beta, and Metal Sonic is their final design.
Little did they know, Metal had other plans.
Neo Metal Takeover
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Yeah you've read the title, you knew it was coming, I need this boy in the movies very badly.
Basically, Metal Sonic upgraded himself, gave himself a voice, an identity, seeing himself as Sonic perfected, a Sonic that wasn't held back by fear of losing his loved ones nor bound by any morals. He was Neo Metal Sonic.
Just like in Sonic heroes, Neo rebels against Eggman and Agent Stone, and goes to defeat Sonic his own way, in a permanent way that would finally put an end to the endless cycle.
They put up a good fight, but ultimately, Sonic in a trapped, Neo Metal wins, he has Sonic right where he wants him and Tails and Knuckles can only watch, he's ready to give the killing blow... But... Sonic doesn't look defeated.
He smiles... That same determined smile Metal has seen over and over again, and in fact, Sonic doesn't even look at Neo at all, he just turns to Tails, eyes full of hope as he says "It's up to you now, I'm counting on you"
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He probably would say something to Knuckles too but in true middle child mocking older sibling fashion he'd just go "You better beat this piece of scrap metal or I'm SOOOO gonna come back as a ghost to haunt you"
So yeah anyway, alternative future Sonic dies, rip, Tails, Knuckles and Shadow (bet you forgot he was alive) all fail to defeat Neo because dude can just copy abilities and also he made a bunch of Metal Sonic clones.
He proceeds to take over the world under the disguise of Eggman (because just like in Heroes he can shapeshift) following exactly how the doctor envisioned the world, dominated by machines and pollution, sooooooo yeah, we get our Bad Future! Uhuuuuul!
You'd think after all that Neo would be satisfied, right? He'd just lay back and enjoy his world domination... But nope! He couldn't accept that in Sonic's final moments the hedgehog still had that gleam of hope in his eyes. Neo didn't win, not really, because he never got to break Sonic's spirit.
Neo decides to fix that.
Now, I don't know how they gonna deal with the means Time Travel is activated, it could be with the Time Stones like in Sonic CD, but I don't know where Neo could find those, or, it could be with the Chaos Emeralds like it is in Sonic 06. Either way, the point is that Neo figured out how to time travel, and he chose to use that power to be the ultimate hater.
So, we circle back to where we've started, when I said Metal Sonic is going back in time to different moments where Sonic was alone, just to kill him, over and over and over again.
Needles to say, Neo Metal Sonic got issues.
Of course it's not exactly HIM who is doing it, Neo is still in his empire in the bad future, while his clones are doing the job of killing a bunch of past Sonics, but still, they're all connected in the same network, like they're all the same character.
Sooo anyway, you might be wondering, where the heck is Amy?
So, Back To Amy
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You may have noticed I didn't mention Amy at all during this whole explanation about how the bad future came to be, welp, that's because she's not from that timeline.
Now this is the part it's kinda confusing and I remind ya'll about the whole "Howl's Moving Castle" paradox I've mentioned in the beginning, logically it doesn't make much sense, but I'm looking at this in a POETIC way, like they were destined to meet and the stars aligned yadda yadda yadda that kind of stuff.
Logically, it doesn't make sense Howl met Sophie because her future self from a few days in the future told him to come find her in the future, since she only time traveled BECAUSE she met him in the first place, and yet, we don't question it, we just think it's cute.
The same way, in this theory, it doesn't make sense Sonic met Amy because her future self from a few days in the future told him to come find her in the present, since she only time traveled BECAUSE she met him in the first place, and yet, I'm asking you guys to not question it, we just think it's cute, and writing time travel sucks.
Anyway, so what do I think will be Amy's role in this story?
Well firstly, she falls for Sonic, that much I feel certain about, but her role won't be just fangirl and be all sticky, after being rescued from that Metal Sonic attack, she's HYPED to join Sonic and the others in this adventure, she wants to help them the best she can, even if her hammer is just a toy hammer (yeah she only get's the futuristic one later) and she's not as fast as Sonic, she still promises to not leave them until they defeat those robots, and thus, she fits right in with the team.
She's girly, enthusiastic, has a heart of gold, and most of all, she's optimistic.
Once Tails finishes building the time travel gizmo, which as I've mentioned before, could be on Sonic's shoes or a wrist watch, they're all set to go to this bad future, believing they can help their future selves deal with these robots.
However, Sonic can only time travel if he runs very fast for a long time, and he can't really do that carrying Amy, Tails & Knuckles on his arms, right?
So, Knuckles decides to stay behind, trusting on Amy to be the muscle of the team in his absence. Sonic carries Amy on his arms, while Tails holds tightly to his back. As Sonic runs, the speed builds and builds to the point sparkles start to glow around him, but, Sonic runs so fast, Tails can't hold on and... Tails let go and falls before they time traveled, being left behind in the present.
Sonic and Amy are on their own in the bad future, and Neo Metal Sonic couldn't be happier to get his second chance.
With that said... I'm gonna stop here.
Final Notes
I could go on detailing how I think the events would play out from here, but I'll just summarize with a few bullet points:
As soon as Sonic and Amy get to the bad future they're already chased down and captured, and Sonic loses the gizmo that allows him to time travel, thus they're trapped there for a good chunck of the movie.
Tom and Maddie are still in this story, in the first act they support the boys going to their homeworld to find Amy, giving them snacks for the trip and just asking them to be careful. They help out Tails when he's making his time travel gizmo, and in the second act, we see them in the bad future, along with other humans who are trying to hide from Neo Metal, like a kind of resistance group.
Throughout the narrative, Amy with her positivity would be the source of hope Sonic needs in order to overcome all the pain he'll endure seeing this horrible future. No matter how bad things get, Amy believes in him, and in turn Sonic believes in himself, even if his future self lost, that Sonic didn't have an Amy, so there's still a chance.
Sonic also helps Amy in her own character journey, she doesn't see herself as a heroine, and is deeply insecure about her future, hence why she's so interested in tarot cards, so she can be sure of what's gonna happen next, however, Sonic teaches her to see her own value, and how amazing she already is in the present. They both highlight the best parts of one another.
You may be wondering where Tails, Knuckles and Shadow are in this bad future. Well ya'll might hate me for this, but I do like a good cliche, and it sure is a cliche that in dystopian alternate future you see your loved ones turned into mind controlled robot versions of themselves... Yeah
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What can I say? I love some angst. Also, it would be a neat callback to the roboticization thing from the Archie Comics.
Shadow wouldn't be roboticized, he'd be locked up by Neo. Sonic and Amy find him and free him, we get a heartwarming moment where Sonic is relieved he's alive, and they get at least one ally that can help them figure out how to fix all this mess.
6. Eggman and Stone could be locked up along with Shadow, and I can only imagine how pissed off Sonic would be seeing the doctor again, I need Shadow and Amy holding him while Eggman comedically runs away scared.
7. Climax of the movie would be Neo and Sonic having a race for the Master Emerald, and just to prove he doesn't need any upgrades to beat Sonic he reverts back to his original smaller form we all know as Metal Sonic. The race is actually a distraction so Amy, Shadow, Eggman and other human characters can free Tails and Knuckles from their roboticized state. Of course, Sonic wins, Neo get's mad and almost emotional about the fact he can't even beat a younger version of his "loathsome copy" in a race. Sonic tries to reach out to him and reassure him he doesn't have to be perfect (or some other kind of lesson like that), and extends a hand just like he has done to his two other rivals in the past... Neo Metals says "naaaaah f*** that" and grabs the Master Emerald, turning himself into Metal Overlord, and THEN we get our final climax.
Obviously Sonic wins, all the metal sonics were controlled by Neo so they deactivate when he's destroyed. But before Sonic goes back to his time, Tails, now conscious, points out that the shenanigans Neo Metal pulled with time travel has created a bunch of divergent timelines where Metal Sonics have killed Sonic in the past, which is pretty bad for the time stream as a whole.
Amy offers herself to time travel to the same points in time these Metal Sonics went, saying she can defeat them before they hurt Sonic in any timeline. It's too risky for Sonic to do that himself, since if he's seen or touched by any of his past selves it could be a bit troublesome.
Soooo yeah, that's what Amy was doing in the post credit scene, just doing a clean sweep of all the Metals who tried to hurt her darling Sonic. Using a hammer that future Tails designed that allows her to time jump directly to all those Metals, but she can't stay in those points in time for too long.
And with that, I think we're done.
Final Thoughts
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Although I'm happy with this theory I do recognize the chances of it being right are VERY low.
The tone of these movies is quite different from all of this, the implications of Sonic dying, even if not shown of screen, might be a bit too much for Paramount to accept, and even SEGA honestly.
But hey, it happened in 06 so there's a small chance I suppose.
The point of this theory really is that I hope we get to SEE Amy develop into that Amy we saw in the post credits, and the idea of her going back in time to save Sonic over and over again just sounds very cute to me, for once she's the one saving him and not the other way around.
All in all, I hope you enjoyed this theory/almost fanfic. Please leave your opinion, constructive criticism and questions in the comments! Hope we can improve these ideas together!
Thank You For Reading!
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ladyazulina · 1 year ago
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Birthday(s)
So, after my Birthday's Eve post, I thought I should do one about the birthday per se, as a minimum. But I can't really talk about my twenty-fifth birthday without sharing my perspective—not about birthdays in general, but—about my birthday. So here it comes.
I don't remember ever liking it, but that's not even fair because I don't remember most of them.
I know it was properly celebrated when I was a child, things were different then, and proof of it was in memories shared from my mom and a unsuccessfully erased pink eight-shaped silhouette of the foam sculpture that was atop my cake that year from the wall. I have grown up with that shape still carving my wall. But one thing that has always shaped my day was sadness. From different sources:
I grow up without my dad. My mom kicked him out when I was six because he was still cheating on her, and one of the first things I remember around my birthday is from one year later if I'm not mistaken (and I can be), being in this weird and unknown place with this kid almost one year younger than me that I didn't like and this woman that tried to be nice to me. My half-sister's birthday is, in fact, 28 days earlier than mine. And I've seen my dad in them. What he had left in mine was this awful feeling and a craving for ice cream, which also made me sad because it was the go-to thing to do during the scarce moments of my teen years when he came to spend time with us.
My mom did the best she could, I know that, but I still grew to be a quiet, timid, and reserved kid. It didn't go well socially for me in school, and my birthday has always been on winter break or right away the last day of exams. There was one year, after a circle of friends adopted me and did their best to take me out of my shell, that my classmates allegedly threw the Christmas party in my honor because of my fourteenth birthday. The friends ambushed me on the last day of classes and made me call my mom to have her permission to go to the sleepover in the house of one of them, I didn't want to go but didn't feel brave enough to be honest, so I went against my wishes. They dolled me up, took away my glasses, put on makeup I didn't want, (created me a Facebook account), and we went all together to the party. I didn't like the food and there were two cakes I didn't touch, one with a picture of the gang of the person giving the house, and one with "all the classmates". I hope you assumed I wasn't in either, so it was hard to believe that it was even 1/3 for me. The worst part is that my house was close to the one where the party was held, but I wasn't able to be left out to go to my house, so I had to go through the sleepover anyway. (It was 2012, I believed the world was ending on December 21st, and was mad because my lil sister was sad with me, not being able to give me the gift she chose for me.)
I don't remember when I noticed I didn't like cakes (unless they're homemade), give me ice cream instead. But I think I was adamant after that party about not wanting any birthday party for myself. Brace yourselves: the year after I had a surprise party. Yearly, we have my mother-side family gathering for Christmas, so some particular characters of the family decided to use that gathering to give me a party I vehemently said I didn't want. People not excited or interested in my birthday. Wifi cut out because my sister was mad at me for wanting to chat with my boyfriend. Three rented adult dresses to change into. Makeup to bear. Five to ten centimeters of heels to break my feet with. Lots of photos, with the one using a white dress making me look like a bride with my cousin of life seeming my spouse. Of course I smiled and feigned happiness and let them drag me in whatever, my mom asked. But I took off as soon as I was able, knowing that not even that was for me.
Goddess, that sounds kind of sad.
Two years ago, my dad decided to take me on a trip for my birthday, with all his daughters (my sisters and his other two). A tourist destination. A rented house. Three days, two nights. Walking day and night. Going to beaches. Looking and sightseeing. It wasn't a trip made for me because I don't like any of that, my half-sisters do, the planners of the trip. It was cold, the water was freezing, and we didn't have a lot of sun. I discovered my birthday was only an excuse for them to go there again, and for my dad to unload one night some of the burden eating him from inside. It wasn't nice, but I still hold onto the fact that at least the rented house was nice.
All of that made me reconsider that having a vendetta against my birthday was only making me suffer, so last year I started planning to make me look at it better.
I didn't have a lot of time to do something grand, but I asked friends and some groups I felt comfortable talking to, to do something nice for me on the day (it could have been something as little as just spending some time talking with me), because that was the important part. It wasn't a good day, but thanks to their help, it wasn't totally bad. I decided then to have a date with myself the next year.
This year. Two days ago.
I'm not sure if I said everything I wanted to say about birthdays here, it feels like a rant and some reminiscences, but I'm short of words, so I should do you a favor and just stop. The summary is that I never liked my birthday and the feeling just increased with every attempt, but I'm trying to give it a 180º for myself, and this is the second year trying.
And I'll come back soon to talk about my Birthday Spree, so don't tune off.
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rosalesbeausderholle · 20 days ago
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I like how in my life I went from: "I am intrinsically different from other human beings because I'm smarter and a better person than everyone else, but I will always be alone for it, though" as a child, to "Well, people are very different and not everyone is as bad or as dumb. There's lots of people who are worth it and lots of people who are good and smart. It's not just me!" as a teen, then back again to "I am intrinsically different from other human beings because I'm smarter and a better person than everyone else" as an adult. And yes, I am on antidepressants.
#liveblogging my life#people are so fucking stupid all the time#my cousins were having a conversation on Christmas over chatgpt#and one of them (a PHILOSOPHY teacher) was talking about how to catch students using it#and my other cousin (a techbro insufferable programmer) was like “well but you use it right?” and my other cousin was like#“yes to help me with menial tasks but you need to have knowledge and critical thinking to be able to use it properly so i can't have#and my idiot techbro cousins went “well if it gets to the point where AI does everything students won't need to learn how to do stuff#without it right?“#yes let's make children stupid on purpose and unable to live without technology on purpose#that sounds normal and fine and not insane#and my teacher cousin didn't even fight it he just laughed#BRO YOU ARE A TEACHER#i know none of us want to be teachers we were just humanities idealists who had to take the teaching path bc in spain it's decent pay and#job security#but I still want to feel like I'm teaching something#that I'm giving my students something actually valuable#the world literally feels hopeless everything is just a soulless giant corporation that doesn't produce anything valuable#as in actually valuable not money valuable#all we can do is stuff that lines up some billionaires pockets but never our own and never helps anyone instead makes everyone's life worse#and you will go to the therapist saying stuff like this which is a very accurate assessment of capitalism and the world#and they will go “hmm” and put you on antidepressants#and i love my therapist she's amazing but I'm just lining the pockets of the clinic she works at to rant
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twiishaa · 26 days ago
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made my brother upset gonna go kms bye
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seventh-district · 3 months ago
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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void-tiger · 5 months ago
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years ago
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Losing my fp is gonna fucking hurt but I just idk I can’t find a way this is gonna end well so I’m coming to terms with it
#it’s was a fine 4 years#the last year was already hard as fuck lmao#funny we got into a fight exactly a year ago too over him saying if you’re too sensitive don’t be on social media#I still have his Christmas present because we haven’t gotten to see eachother since#October I think is when we last met in person#just a week ago he was offering to hang out because of all the shit my mom said to me#I also have the other friend that’s involved in all of this’s Christmas gift#I was gonna mail it to him#oh well I guess#I just idk I’m so hurt#but this feels like what I’d been worried would happen ever since their obsession with each other got worse and worse#like I get it bpd does that you get obsessed believe me I know but y’all have been feeding into it with these ‘jokes’ lately and well#all the times y’all have said to each other you don’t need friend you only need me as a haha joke is gonna become true if y’all don’t get#some help and soon and like I think one of their psychiatrists said that their relationship was unhealthy and also one sided once#which unhealthy YES one sided?? nah not at all#but they both were like baffled and just didn’t believe the unhealthy part#I commented on it only saying how was it one sided because I knew if I agreed with the unhealthy part they’d both hate me lol#because believe it or not mutual obsession is not healthy lmao idc how romanticized it’s been getting it will never be healthy#I have a bf now and I strive to never be like that to him because i don’t want us to become mutually obsessed like that I don’t want us to#isolate ourselves for eachother whether knowingly or unknowingly just today he apologized because he’s been busy and I always let him know#it’s perfectly okay if he just never has time to message me one day because I know that’s healthy even if my brain is screaming#like yeah I still have intrusive thoughts I get jealous of his friends like way too jealous and I want him all to myself but I stop myself#from acting on any of those thoughts because I know it leads to a controlling abusive realtionship and I don’t want to be that he doesn’t#deserve that so it is so fucking confusing when they ‘joke’ and tell the other to delete a photo or tweet and then the other actually does#idk how they can’t see that that’s fucked#okay sorry lol but hey if y’all read the tags on the I’m so lost post and know what I did wrong please tell me because no one else will!
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femwizard · 1 year ago
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#ok so I know this is a massive own of the IDF#but please use your critical thinking skills when sharing this#cuz it really comes off pro Israel#& even if u r siding w Hamas & reading this as a massive fallout of the Israeli army attacking children#this is the exact fucking justification our president will point to and be like#see? they were right to kill all those kids#and they didn’t even kill any kids#the kids were fake and made to lure in the brave patriots fighting for our oil right#oops I mean brave colonists#oops I mean#brave Schutzstaffel#oops#anyways there were never any kids in Gaza & even if they were it was a trick to murder Israeli soldiers#just to be clear I fully support Palestine#that was all a bit about how fucked up biden is#I watched a really good video about how#to mince my words paraphrase and lose all nuance#Hamas is justified for using extreme force#to combat the overwhelming & inhumane force used by the American military base known as Israel#also? don’t fucking @ me about antisemitism#I’m Jewish#wich doesn’t make me immune#but means there’s a good chance I know more about the ins and outs of the American Jewish side of this than you do#I learned more of my family than I expected were active zionists#we live with completely different facts based on willful ignorance and propaganda#the most important thing you can do with any of this information is bring it to your family gathering#show up to Black Friday with the raw data showing death toll on each side since 1948#roll up to Christmas with a book on the Iraq war a history of American colonialism of indigenous people and the tale of Hanukkah#it’s a story about romans(?) destroying a Jewish city and chasing them off their land#happy 8 nights of lights you heartless freakin bastards
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I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:
Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.
In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.
But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.
Until, that is, the last fortnight.
Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.
Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.
Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.
"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"
I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.
Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.
"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."
"Nothing at all?" I asked.
"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."
This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.
"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."
Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."
(It was good potato. I am a hero.)
So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.
"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.
"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"
"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."
And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.
And Tumblrs
Tumblrs
Let me FUCKING tell you
They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -
They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.
You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"
I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.
"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."
They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.
But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?
Anyway. Super super proud today.
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mononijikayu · 2 months ago
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i saw mommy kissing santa claus — fushiguro toji
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“Mom, I saw you kissing Santa Claus last night.” You froze, the coffee cup halfway to your lips as your cheeks turned a warm shade of red. Your husband Toji, on the other hand, lowered his mug, his sharp green eyes sparkling with mischief. He looked at you, one brow raised, fighting the grin threatening to spread across his face. “Oh, really, kid?” Toji said, leaning back casually. “Mommy here was kissing Santa Claus, huh?” You stammered, caught off guard. “W-well, Megumi, I think maybe you were dreaming—" “Nope!” Megumi insisted, crossing his little arms over his chest. “I saw it, mom. You were right by the tree!” 
GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence!;
WARNING/S: fluff, romance, nsfw, r-18, christmas day, santa, parenthood, pet names (babe, love, etc), love, humor, light-hearted, domestic life, slice of life, being in love, parenthood, married life, healthy relationship, toddler, family, late night sex, kissing, p-i-v sex, profanity, sexual intercourse, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of body praise, depiction of naked bodies, mention of sexual innuendo, mention of sexual intercourse, husband! toji, mamaguro! reader;
WORD COUNT: 7k words
NOTE: toji seems to me like the type who would have been so good at teasing mamaguro??? like he would definitely be the person that would also wear a santa claus costume just to put megumi's gifts on the tree and then know that megumi would be watching??? anyway i love their tiny family i am so floored every time i write about them. anyway merry fushiguro christmas!!! i love you all <3
box it up, christmas hun! (santa kayu 2024)
main masterlist
if you want to, tip! <3
YOU ALWAYS ADORED CHRISTMAS. Even as a child, the magic of the holiday season was something your mother and father made sure to bring alive for you.
They worked tirelessly to fill each moment with joy, whether it was the way the house glowed with lights or how the scent of fresh-baked cookies lingered in the air. 
Your favorite memories were wrapped in those small, meaningful traditions—sipping hot chocolate while the snow fell softly outside, unwrapping presents by the fire, and gathering together to share stories and laughter. It wasn’t about the gifts or the grandeur, but the warmth of family and the sense of belonging.
Now that you had a family of your own, you were determined to recreate that magic, to pass down those same feelings of joy and love to the people you held closest to your heart. Fushiguro Toji wasn’t raised with those kinds of traditions. 
For him, the holidays were often just another day. Especially when he lived with his family and even after that. There was no desire for a fuss, no fanfare. But when it came to you, he was more than willing to step out of his comfort zone.
Toji might not have admitted it outright, but seeing how much the holidays meant to you made it easy for him to get involved. Whether it was wrestling with tangled strings of lights or holding your hand while you browsed for the perfect tree, he found himself drawn into the excitement. It was a quiet kind of joy for him, watching your face light up with happiness as you brought the season to life.
When your beloved Megumi came along, the holidays became even more special. Toji was quick to embrace his role, even if it meant helping you with putting out the tree or helping to bake cookies that somehow ended up burnt half the time.
He didn’t care if it was messy or chaotic—seeing the laughter, the wide-eyed wonder, and the unfiltered happiness of his family made every effort worth it.
What surprised him most was how much he’s slowly come to love those traditions, too. They weren’t just holidays anymore; they were the foundation of memories he never knew he needed.
He started to look forward to the little things, like staying up late with you to wrap presents or watching Megumi to try to stay awake for Santa, only to fall asleep halfway through their schemes.
Each holiday became another chance to build something new together, a season filled with traditions that were uniquely yours. Toji might have started off doing it for you, but somewhere along the way, he realized he was doing it for himself, too.
After all, your beautiful family meant everything to him, it’s now his safe zone—and these moments were proof that he finally had one worth celebrating.
So on this bright Christmas morning, your comely house was tenderly wrapped in a soft, magical stillness. The gentle hum of the house’s heater and the occasional crackle from the fireplace your husband had set up added to the warmth of the room. 
The Christmas tree glowed with colorful lights, their reflections dancing on the ornaments and the neatly wrapped presents beneath. The faint scent of cinnamon and pine hung in the air, blending with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
Young and bright four year old Fushiguro Megumi shuffled into the living room, his favorite blanket dragging behind him like a cape. His small, sleepy frame was bundled in his fuzzy pajamas, the ones with tiny snowflakes printed all over. 
His dark charcoal hair was a tousled mess, sticking out in every direction as if he’d been wrestling with his dreams. He paused near the doorway, rubbing his blue–green eyes, and blinked at the cozy scene before him.
There you were, curled up on the couch with Toji, both of you cradling steaming mugs of coffee. Toji was dressed in his usual casual sweatpants and a loose T-shirt, one arm draped lazily along the back of the couch, the other holding his mug. He looked relaxed, his sharp green eyes softened with a rare, unguarded warmth. 
You were tucked into his side, your legs curled beneath you, wearing an oversized Christmas special cardigan and your fuzzy faux fur slippers.
The two of you shared a quiet moment, sipping the coffee your husband brewed and exchanging conversation and content smiles as the early morning sunlight peeked through the curtains.
Megumi's sleepy gaze lit up as he took in the sight of the tree, its glowing lights illuminating the pile of presents waiting for him. His little mouth opened in a gasp, and he looked at the two of you with wide, sparkling blue–green orbs.
“It’s Christmas!” he announced, his voice still tinged with the rasp of sleep but filled with excitement. “It’s Christmas morning!”
You smiled, setting your mug on the coffee table and opening your arms to him. “Good morning, sweetheart. Merry Christmas.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. He toddled over, crawling onto the couch and nestling between you and Toji. Toji chuckled, ruffling Megumi’s messy hair affectionately. “Morning, kid. Looks like Santa came through for you this time around, huh?”
Megumi nodded eagerly, his blue–green eyes darting back to the presents under the tree. “Can I open them now?” he asked, his voice filled with hopeful anticipation.
“Not even a good morning first?” Toji teased, arching an eyebrow. But the playful tone in his voice made Megumi giggle. “Too excited, you are.”
“Good morning, Dad.” Megumi said, grinning as he leaned against you. “Good morning, Mom.”
Your heart swelled at the sight of him, his excitement so pure and unfiltered. You kissed the top of his little head, wrapping an arm around him as Toji stood and stretched, walking over to grab the digital camera.
“All right.” Toji said with a smirk, motioning to the tree. “Let’s see what Santa left for you, kid.”
With a delighted squeal, Fushiguro Megumi scrambled off the couch and ran toward the presents, his blanket forgotten on the floor in his excitement.
You and Toji shared a tender glance, his usual smirk softening into a genuine, warm smile. You shake your head, looking at him with much contentment.
He walked back to you, settling beside you on the couch and slipping his hand into yours. His touch was steady, grounding, as the two of you watched Megumi dive headfirst into the pile of gifts.
His bright laughter filled the room, bright and melodic, blending perfectly with the soft crackle of the fireplace.
For a moment, everything was perfect—pure joy radiating from your son as he examined each box like it was a priceless treasure. Then, Megumi suddenly paused, his small frame still in the middle of the living room. 
He turned slowly to face you both, his expression shifting into something unusually serious, his little brows furrowing in a way that was far too mature for his age. When he wasn’t smiling, you were sure your son was quite a young old man in that tiny body. 
You blinked, puzzled, as Toji sat up straighter, his grip on your hand loosening. Before either of you could ask what was wrong, Megumi crossed his arms over his chest, his blanket forgotten entirely now, and declared with absolute certainty:
“Mom, I saw you kissing Santa Claus last night.”
You froze, the coffee cup halfway to your lips as your cheeks turned a warm shade of red. Your husband Toji, on the other hand, lowered his mug, his sharp green eyes sparkling with mischief. He looked at you, one brow raised, fighting the grin threatening to spread across his face.
“Oh, really, kid?” Toji said, leaning back casually. “Mommy here was kissing Santa Claus, huh?”
You stammered, caught off guard. “W-well, Megumi, I think maybe you were dreaming—"
“Nope!” Megumi insisted, crossing his little arms over his chest. “I saw it, mom. You were right by the tree!” 
His little pout was so serious it almost made you laugh. You tried to hold your composure, his cute little glare gleaming at you with the most adorable aggression. He looked too much like Toji when he was like this. And that had made you even more adoring of him in this way.
Toji’s chuckle deepened as he leaned back on the couch, completely unbothered. “Cookies and milk are standard, kid.” he said, shrugging casually. “But Santa? He’s a special guest. Sometimes he deserves a little extra appreciation.”
Megumi tilted his head, his little face scrunching in thought. “Like a hug?” he asked, glancing back at the presents under the tree, though his curiosity still lingered.
“Sure, sure.” Toji said, smirking as he threw a glance your way. “Or something like that.”
You nudged him with your elbow, your cheeks heating up again. “Toji, that’s not something you should be jumping into.” you whispered under your breath, giving him a look that was equal parts exasperated and amused.
Toji just grinned and leaned in closer to you, his voice low so only you could hear. “What? I didn’t even mention the mistletoe.” His tone was full of playful mischief, and you rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile. 
“Mom? Dad?” Megumi’s voice broke through, his tiny hands clutching a brightly wrapped box as he looked up at you both. “Can I open this one first?”
You gave a soft laugh, glad for the distraction. “Of course, sweetheart.” you said, smiling warmly at him.
Toji reached over, ruffling Megumi’s hair again as the boy plopped down in front of the tree. “Go for it, kid. Let’s see what Santa left you.”
“Hmm. Okay.” he finally muttered, turning his attention to the colorful boxes waiting for him.
Megumi’s attention shifted entirely to the gift in his hands, his little fingers working furiously to tear the wrapping paper. You let out a breath, glancing at Toji, who was still watching you with that infuriatingly smug look.  His hands wrapped against your shoulders. 
He leaned closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “Kissing Santa, huh, babe?” he teased, leaning in close. “Got any more Christmas spirit for me?”
Your face burned as you playfully shoved him, your smile betraying you. “Shut up, Toji.” you whispered, though the giggle that escaped ruined the effect.
“Guess Santa’s the lucky one this year, don’t you think?” he murmured.
You bit your lip, shaking your head but unable to hide the smile that crept across your face. “You’re impossible.”
“Yeah, yeah.” he said, his smirk softening into something warmer as he looked at you. “But you love me anyway.”
“Merry Christmas, babe.” Toji murmured, stealing a quick kiss.
“Merry Christmas, love.” you whispered back, heart full and cheeks still warm.
══════════════════
TOJI SAID HE PLANNED EVERYTHING. And knowing how much you trusted your husband, you do believe him. He hasn’t ever failed you before, after all. Your husband wasn’t going to fail you now either. He said he’s going to make it happen and he will. 
The night before Christmas was serene, the kind of quiet that wrapped around you like a warm blanket. The only sounds were the faint crackle of the fireplace and the occasional rustle of branches as the tree swayed slightly under the weight of its ornaments. 
The vibrant living room glowed softly, bathed in the colorful twinkle of Christmas lights that reflected off the shiny ribbons and bows of some of the presents you had already wrapped and bought for Megumi and each other. All Toji has to do now is add the other ones you bought for Megumi.
You had just finished cleaning up after dinner, your feet padding lightly across the wooden floor as you straighten a few stray decorations. A hum of curiosity pulled you toward the living room, and when you peeked around the corner, you couldn’t hold back a small smile from appearing on your pinkish lips.
There he was— Fushiguro Toji, crouched by the tree, fully dressed in a Santa Claus suit. The red fabric clung to his massively broad frame, the white trim looking comically out of place against his rugged demeanor. 
The bright red hat was askew on his head, barely covering his wild, dark hair, and the sight of him muttering multiple times under his breath while adjusting a precariously balanced present was nothing short of endearing.
“Damn this tree’s too small.” Toji grumbled, carefully shoving a particularly large box further under the branches. “How the hell does Santa Claus even do this without knocking everything over? Like, this is just an insane operation for a break in. Mission impossible even!”
You stifled a laugh, leaning against the doorway as you crossed your arms. “You’re really committing to this Santa Claus thing, huh?”
Toji glanced up sharply, his green eyes narrowing at you in mock irritation before softening into a lopsided smirk. You sighed, smiling as he enjoys taking in the sight of you like this. He has never thought he would ever have something as enjoyable as this life. And he always has you to thank for it.
“Caught me, babe.” he said, straightening up and dusting his hands off. “Santa Claus really had to work harder for this. And I gotta commit like he does, babe. I mean, this is harder than it looks, you know.”
You stepped into the room, your gaze sweeping over the scene. “You’re supposed to look jolly, not grumpy, love. Kids don’t want an angry Santa Claus.”
Toji snorted, tugging at the crooked hat and tossing it onto the couch. “You’re lucky I even agreed to wear this, babe.” he said, gesturing at the suit with a faint grimace. “This thing’s itchy as hell. How the hell did people wear this without having to scratch everywhere? Even my crotch feels itchy.”
You rolled your eyes, walking over to adjust one of the presents he’d just placed. “You’re not exactly selling the magic of Christmas, love.”
He leaned against the arm of the couch, his smirk turning sly. “Oh, I don’t know. I think I’m doing pretty good. The kid’s gonna love it in the morning. He’s going to have fun about Santa bringing in lotsssss of cool presents.”
You turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “And what about me? Does Santa Claus have any surprises for me? I mean….I should get gifts too, right?”
Toji’s grin widened as he pushed off the couch and sauntered toward you, his voice dropping to a playful, sensual murmur. “Actually, yeah. Look up, babe.”
Your eyes followed his gaze, landing on the tiny sprig of mistletoe hanging above your heads. You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. You looked at him with so much adoration, you couldn’t help it. He just made you feel giddy every single day. 
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
He took another step closer, his voice low and teasing. “Maybe. But I’m also a hardworking Santa Claus. And Santa likes to get paid for his trouble. I’m sure this pretty lady in front of him will ease his troubles.”
You rolled your eyes playfully once more, your lips twitching as you fought back a smile. “Naughty Santa, aren’t you?” you muttered, leaning up just enough to close the gap between you. “What about Mrs. Claus?”
“Don’t have one.” He smiles down at you, his thumb pressing against your lips. “Would you wanna volunteer to be one, pretty woman?”
You laughed aloud at his words. “Shouldn’t you take me out to dinner first?”
“Well, if you’d let me, then I will.” He grins at you.
“Alright, alright. I’ll let you.”
“Good. Santa’s happy about that.”
“Well, we only want that, don’t we?” You smiled at him.
“Hm, very great for securing your kid a spot on my gift list.”
You giggled at him. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but I’m your ridiculous, future Mrs. Claus.” 
You laughed at his words again, which made him very happy. Your husband Toji happily pressed hands forward and found your waist as he met you halfway, his sly lips brushing against yours in a passionate kiss that was far too warm for such a chilly night. 
You pushed deeper, kissing him back, pulling him closer to you. When you finally pulled back to take a breath, his grin was smug as it was shameless, his bright  green eyes gleaming with the endless joy that comes with having you as his beloved. 
“Best payment I’ve ever gotten. By far.” he murmured, his voice soft but smug.
You laughed, swatting at his chest as you stepped away. “Go finish your job, Santa Claus. There’s still a tree that needs all the presents to set up for the good kid.”
He chuckled, watching you with a lingering smile as you walked away. “Yes, ma’am. But don’t think this is over.” he called after you, his tone full of promise.
“I look forward to it, Santa!”
══════════════════
OF COURSE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET ABOUT LAST NIGHT. You could still feel your legs sore and your throat full of his pleasurable bites. But that wasn’t important right now, even though, of course it felt really good. Santa was really good with blessings. But that wasn’t the point. 
You could feel your cheeks turn redder and your ears more scarlet. You tried to calm yourself down as you continued to clear out stuff in the kitchen. The cookies were more important. You had guests coming over.
Of course, on the other side of the wall, the living room was alive with Megumi’s excited giggles and the joyful chaos of wrapping paper flying in every direction.  His precious little voice carried as he marveled at each gift, holding up toys and books like treasures. 
You peeked at him from the kitchen, your heart swelling at how happy he was. Your son’s joys were the reason you always worked so hard at the prosecutor’s office. And he was, genuinely, the happiest little boy. And that made everything feel like it paid off.
You were in the middle of arranging cookies on a festive plate when you felt it: a pair of strong arms sliding around your waist, pulling you against a firm chest. The scent of pine and the faintest trace of cologne told you exactly who it was before he even spoke.
“Toji, love.” you started, a hint of exasperation in your voice. “What are you doing?”
“Mmm nothing.” he murmured against your ear, his voice rich and teasing. He grins slowly as he catches a peak of the hickeys from your side, hidden in the cardigan. “Just came to say thank you for, you know... last night.”
Your hands froze, the cookie you were holding slipping onto the counter as heat rushed to your cheeks. You were just trying to forget about it now but the images started to flood your head once more as your husband nibbles against your ear.
“Toji, please.” you hissed, glancing nervously toward the doorway to make sure Megumi was too busy with his presents to overhear. The last thing you need is to traumatize your little son.“Not now.”
But Fushiguro Toji, as always, was undeterred. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his lips grazing just close enough to your ear to make you shiver. He hums against your skin, bright eyes looking at you with wanton affection.
“What? I’m just saying Santa Claus didn’t just get a kiss under the mistletoe. I mean he enjoyed it really well too—”
You spin your head toward him, your bright eyes wide as you whisper with embarrassment. “Will you stop? Love, our son’s on the other side of the wall and—”
Toji only grinned, his hold on you tightening slightly as he leaned in closer. “Come on, sweetheart. Admit it. Santa Claus always deserves a little something extra for working so hard, don’t you think?”
“You sly fox of a husband.” you hissed, swatting at his arm as your cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red. “You are impossible. I swear, Toji.”
He let out a low, rumbling laugh, clearly reveling in your flustered state. “You’re cute when you’re all embarrassed like this, babe.” he teased, nuzzling the side of your neck in a way that made your heart skip. “But I wasn’t lying, you know. Best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
Your heart melted at his words, even as you tried to maintain your composure. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, love.” you muttered, trying to sound stern but failing miserably as a small smile crept onto your face. “Otherwise, it’d be a different story.”
Toji shifted, leaning back just enough to study your beautiful expressions. His bright green eyes were soft, a rare tenderness shining in them that made your breath catch. The air of joy blossoming in his chest ever so fondly when he looks at you more. 
“Lucky, huh?” he said, a hint of sincerity beneath the teasing. “Nah. I’m the luckiest guy every day I wake up to you. Every day, every minute, every second. Every day. For forever. I’m the luckiest guy on earth, babe.”
Your face burned hotter, and you turned back to the cookies to hide your expression from him. You could feel your heart making flips and jumps against the wall of your chest. He’s always so good at making you feel this way. 
You were really going to be overwhelmed for all your life with how much he always makes you feel the universe with his love and tenderness. You were always going to be falling in love with this man over and over again like this. You sighed, admitting defeat to him. 
 “You’re ridiculous, love.” you mumbled, but the warmth blossoming in your chest betrayed your words. “Really….”
He couldn’t help but chuckled again, reaching around you to snag a cookie off the plate. You gasp as you try to stop him, but he lifts it up and you pout at him, knowing you can’t reach it. He snickers at you. You turn back and continue putting away the other cookies.
“That’s why you love me, babe.” Toji said, his voice smooth and teasing as he took another bite of the cookie, his smirk practically glowing with satisfaction. 
Before you could muster a response, he leaned down, his lips brushing against your temple in a kiss so gentle it made your heart flutter. “Don’t work too hard. Megumi and I are waiting for you, okay? Still got some presents left for us to open.”
You watched him stroll back into the living room, his broad frame relaxed, his laughter already mingling with Megumi’s excited chatter. His voice carried back to you, warm and playful, as he greeted your son again, seamlessly joining him in exploring his new toys. 
The sound of Megumi’s giggles and Toji’s deep chuckles filled the house, creating a melody that could warm even the coldest snowy, winter morning. It was what you wanted to wake up to every single day. It was all you could ever want for all of time.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, leaning back against the counter as a soft smile tugged at your lips. It was uncontrollable, this joy, this love that bubbled up in your chest. This was a love that had a place to go and blossom here in this place, in this family. In this life you have.
Ridiculous, you thought with a shake of your head. Toji was ridiculous. But he was also your, the most precious of men who made even the simplest moments unforgettable, who filled your life with laughter, warmth, and love.
And your precious Megumi. Your sweet, bright boy, was the perfect little light who completed the picture. Everything about life made sense when you met Toji and had Megumi together. Life began when you had this. And you knew he would agree with that sentiment.
You looked out at the scene before you, the two of them sprawled on the floor amid wrapping paper and toys, Megumi pointing animatedly at something as Toji nodded with exaggerated seriousness.
It was so small, so ordinary—and yet it was everything. It meant the world to you. No, you shook your head. It meant the universe to you. And you would never trade this for anything in the world.
You felt it all in that moment: gratitude, contentment, and a profound sense of love. How lucky you were, to have this life, this family. This was your everything. And no matter how many lifetimes you could dream of, you knew there would never be anything more beautiful than this.
“Babe, Megumi wants his mommy!” Toji’s voice called from the living room, pulling you from your thoughts.
You chuckled, pushing off the counter and heading toward the sound of your favorite voices. “Coming, love!”
As you stepped into the living room, Megumi beamed up at you, his hands full of his latest toy, while Toji looked over with a smirk that was both mischievous and affectionate. You settled in beside them, feeling their warmth wrap around you like a hug. 
Life wasn’t just great to live—it was perfect. 
And you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
══════════════════
TOJI'S TAKING ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES HE CAN GET. But if you were being honest, so were you. Last night wasn't enough for you to get your fill. When your husband is someone like Toji, how could you?
The house was quiet now, save for the faint hum of the heater and the occasional creak of the floorboards as the winter wind pressed against the walls.
Megumi had been tucked into bed after a long, laughter-filled Christmas dinner, his tiny snores signaling that he was sound asleep. The evening had been perfect—filled with warmth, love, and memories you’d cherish forever.
Now, it was just the two of you.
Toji leaned against the doorframe of your bedroom, watching as you pulled off the festive sweater you'd worn all day. His gaze was heavy, but not with exhaustion—it was something else, something that made your skin tingle.
"You finally sitting still for once?" he teased, his voice low, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress the grin that followed. "Maybe I am. Or maybe I was waiting for you to catch up."
That was all the invitation he needed. Toji crossed the room in a few long strides, his arms circling your waist as he pulled you close. His lips found yours almost immediately, hungry, but unhurried. He kissed you like he had all the time in the world, and for once, it felt like you did.
Your fingers slid into his hair, tugging lightly as he deepened the kiss. His hands roamed, tracing the curve of your waist, the small of your back, and eventually settling at your hips, holding you firmly against him. The heat between you both grew, sparking like the fire you’d left burning in the living room.
"I’ve been waiting all day for this, babe." he murmured against your lips, his voice rough and filled with need.
"Me too." you admitted, your breath hitching as his lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of soft, teasing kisses that made your knees weak.
The world outside didn’t matter anymore. Not the snow piling up on the windowsill, not the mess of dishes waiting in the kitchen, and certainly not the clock ticking down the last hours of Christmas Day. All that mattered was the way Toji made you feel. You always feel so seen, loved, desired when it comes to your beloved husband.
He guided you toward the bed, his movements slow and deliberate as if savoring every second. The night was yours, a stolen moment of intimacy in the chaos of life.
And as his lips found yours again, you knew this was the best gift you could have asked for—time together, just the two of you, wrapped in the comfort of each other’s arms.
Toji’s arm slid right back around your neck, firm yet careful, pulling you closer as his lips claimed yours once more. The way he touched you sent shivers cascading down your spine, every sensation heightened by the quiet intimacy of the moment.
His grip was confident, possessive, and it made your pulse quicken as pleasure rippled through you like a rising tide. Each kiss, each graze of his hands against your skin, ignited something deep within you, leaving no room for anything else but the heat building between you.
He knew exactly how to unravel you, how to make you melt under his touch, and he didn’t hold back. He never holds back. Not when it was you he has to make love to. Making love to you was his church. It was his patronage. It was his repentance, it was his atonement. It was his salvation. His love for you was his salvation.
“Toji…” Your voice was barely a whisper, a mixture of breathlessness and yearning.
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and intense, filled with something raw and unspoken. His thumb brushed gently along your jawline as his other arm stayed firmly around your neck, keeping you grounded in the moment.
“You doin' so good, babe.” he murmured, his voice rough and low, sending a fresh wave of heat through you.
The way he looked at you, the way he held you. Everything about it was overwhelming in the best way. Your body responded instinctively, arching into him as the pleasure coursed through every nerve, building higher with each kiss, each touch, each whispered word.
Time seemed to blur as he continued, his movements unhurried but deliberate, as though savoring every moment with you. And in that moment, nothing else mattered. This was all there was right now, just the two of you, lost in the intoxicating rhythm of each other.
Toji’s lips trailed down to your neck, his hot breath against your skin making you shiver. He knew exactly where to kiss, where to linger, drawing soft gasps from you as his hand caressed your side, sliding over the curves he loved to touch.
The pressure of his arm around your neck wasn’t rough, but good enough to make you feel the tension of his touch against your flesh. Everything about his touch, it was deliberate, possessive, reminding you that he wanted every inch of you, body and soul.
Your hands roamed over his shoulders, pulling him closer, urging him to keep going. The sensations rolled through you like waves, each one stronger than the last, your body responding to his every move. You could feel the heat of him against you, the tension between you building with every touch, every kiss.
“Toji…” you murmured again, your voice trembling with need.
“Hmm?” He didn’t stop, his lips finding that spot just below your ear that made your breath hitch. “Say it again, babe.” he whispered, his tone dark and teasing, sending a fresh jolt of desire through you.
Your fingers tightened in his hair, tugging gently, and the low chuckle that escaped his lips vibrated against your skin, sending shivers cascading down your spine. The sound was rich, deep, and filled with promise, igniting a fire inside you that grew with every passing second.
His lips trailed along your jawline, slow and deliberate, before finding the sensitive curve of your neck. He lingered there, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses that made your breath hitch.
Your body press instinctively closer to him. The warmth of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth against your skin, left you trembling, a quiet gasp spilling from your lips.
His hand slid lower, the roughness of his palm contrasting deliciously against your soft skin. His touch was teasing at first, featherlight, exploring, testing your limits.
But then it grew bolder, more certain, as he found the places that made you quiver beneath him. Every brush of his fingertips sent sparks shooting through your body, the intensity of it building with each moment.
You arched into him, desperate for more, the ache between you growing unbearable. A soft moan escaped you, unbidden but unstoppable, and the sound seemed to ignite something in him.
He let out another low, satisfied laugh, his breath hot against your neck as he murmured, “You sound so good, baby. Don’t stop.”
The pleasure rolled through you like a tidal wave, crashing over every part of you until all you could feel was him. It was all his touch, his heat, his weight against you.
The room seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you locked in this intimate dance, your bodies moving together in perfect, unspoken harmony.
Your skin grew slick with sweat, the heat between you almost unbearable but so, so good. Every movement, every touch, every kiss only pulled you deeper into him, the connection between you electric and all-consuming.
“Toji…” you whispered, your voice trembling with need, his name spilling from your lips like a prayer.
He lifted his head just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes smoldering with desire as he leaned in close.
“I’ve got you, babe. I got you.” he murmured, his voice rough and filled with raw emotion.
And with those words, he claimed your lips again, pouring every ounce of his passion into the kiss. His hand tangled in your hair, his other still exploring, holding you firmly against him as if he couldn’t bear to let you go.
Toji’s breath hitched as he stilled, buried deep inside you, his forehead pressed to yours. The heat of your body wrapped tightly around him, the soft, rhythmic flutter of your walls making him groan low in his throat.
It was almost too much for you, how big he was, how whole you feel when he fit you to the hilt. Everything about it the way you felt, the way your body seemed to pulse and cling to him, drawing him deeper into the moment. It all just felt too good.
His hands gripped your hips firmly, anchoring himself, trying to hold onto the frayed edges of his control. A thought flickered in his mind, unbidden and primal: Can I even last long with this?
The idea sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through him, his jaw clenching as he tried to steady his breathing. He didn’t need to move—didn’t need to thrust or grind or do anything but stay right where he was, utterly consumed by the way you felt around him.
The subtle contractions of your body, the way you tightened around him and the way he fluttered tightly against your walls, that was all enough to drive him mad. You were still as you were before, you were paradise in every sense of the word.
“Toji…love....oh—” you whispered, your voice a mix of need and wonder, your nails dragging lightly down his back. The sound of his name on your lips only made it harder for him to hold back.
“Shit, babe.” he murmured, his voice rough and strained. “You’re gonna kill me like this.”
He pressed his forehead harder against yours, his breath coming in uneven gasps as he tried to wrestle with the overwhelming pleasure. Your moans can only grow as he pushed in and out in a more passionate speed.
“I swear… I could come just like this, babe.” he admitted, his voice low and ragged. “The way you’re squeezing me so good, babe… you feel so damn good.”
The confession sent a shiver through you, your body responding instinctively, and he groaned again, his fingers digging into your hips as if to ground himself. He wanted to move, to chase that inevitable high.
But at the same time, he didn’t want to lose the sheer intensity of the moment—didn’t want to lose the way it felt to just be inside you, connected in every way. He still needed to last a little bit more, he wanted this moment to last.
He leaned in, his lips brushing yours as he murmured, “You’re perfect. You know that?” His voice was raw, filled with both reverence and desperation.
And as he stayed there, lost in the heat and intimacy, he wondered if he could ever get enough of this—of you. Every sensation was heightened, every second stretching into eternity, until nothing else existed but him.
The overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. In his arms, you felt completely unraveled, utterly cherished, and entirely his. The world outside faded completely—just the two of you, tangled together in the quiet intimacy of your shared space.
Toji’s movements grew more deliberate, his bruised lips finding your own again as he deepened the kiss, his arm around your neck keeping you anchored to him. His tongue wrestling against yours as he tried to thrust deeper inside your mouth, earning a groan from your throat.
The way he held you, the way he touched you—it wasn’t just desire; it was love, raw and unfiltered, pouring into every moment.
Your body trembled beneath him, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure he brought you, and you clung to him, lost in the heat of the moment. Toji pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours as he caught his breath, his voice low and husky when he finally spoke.
“You’re mine, babe.” he whispered, the words heavy with emotion and promise.
His calloused hand brushing your cheek as his eyes met yours. And in that moment, you knew there was no place you’d rather be than here, with him, wrapped up in the intensity of his love.
"Always." You whispered back to him.
He felt satisfied with that as he pushed deeper into you.
You couldn't speak words anymore by the end of that.
The world was cold from the snowing echoes, but you were warm.
Warm in the pleasure of the husband you loved the most.
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epilogue
The room was still bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, your breathing finally steady after what had been a Christmas evening full of all sorts of intimacy and bright warm laughter.
Fushiguro Toji, ever the opportunist, propped himself up on one elbow, the smirk on his face practically devilish as his fingers began tracing patterns on your bare shoulder.
“You know, babe.” he started, his voice low and teasing, “I’m thinking Santa deserves a little overtime bonus for all his hard work tonight.”
You turned your head, arching a brow as you caught the glint in his eye. “Overtime? Didn’t we just finish the main shift? Both last night and tonight?”
“Oh, I’ve got plenty of energy left, babe.” he murmured, leaning in to nip playfully at your ear. “The question is… do you?”
You opened your mouth to reply, maybe to tease him back, but the sound of soft footsteps in the hallway made you both freeze. Your eyes darted toward the door, which creaked open just enough to reveal a mop of messy black hair and the outline of a sleepy little boy clutching his favorite stuffed animal.
“Mom? Dad?” Megumi’s voice was tiny, wobbling just enough to tug at your heartstrings. “I had a nightmare…”
Toji let out a low groan, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he muttered, “Of course you did, kid. Of course you did.”
“Shush!” you hissed, elbowing him lightly before sitting up and pulling the blanket around yourself. “Come here, sweetheart.” you said softly, patting the edge of the bed.
Megumi shuffled in, his little feet barely making a sound as he climbed up onto the bed and wriggled his way into the space between you and Toji. He immediately buried his face against your side, his stuffed animal squished between the two of you.
“What happened, bud?” you asked, stroking his charcoal hair gently.
“There was a big, scary monster…” Megumi mumbled, his voice muffled against your side. “It chased me, and it almost got me.”
You looked at your husband who sighed back at you. Toji pushed himself up onto one elbow, running a hand through his disheveled hair, looking towards his little son.
“A monster, huh?” he asked, his tone light but laced with mock seriousness. “Did it look like a giant turkey? ‘Cause I told you eating all that stuffing was a risky move.”
Megumi pulled his face away just long enough to glare at his dad, his little brow furrowed in unimpressed indignation. “No, Dad.” he said with a hint of exasperation. “It wasn’t a turkey. It was scary!”
“Scarier than me?” Toji teased, flexing his arm dramatically as if that would somehow settle the matter.
You shot him a look, biting back a laugh. “Toji, love. Please.” you warned softly, shaking your head.
“Okay, okay.” Toji relented, holding up his hands in mock surrender. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Megumi’s hair. “Listen, kid, no monsters are getting past me. You know that, right? They take one look at your old man and run for the hills.”
Megumi’s little body relaxed against you, his small hand clutching tightly at your shirt. “Promise?” he whispered.
Toji ruffled his hair. “Promise. Now get some sleep. You’ve got another day of playing with all those presents tomorrow, and I don’t want to hear any complaints about being too tired.”
Megumi let out a sleepy little hum of agreement, his breathing evening out as he drifted off within minutes. Toji flopped back onto his pillow with a long sigh, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.
“So, what do you think? Nightmare slayer and round-two initiator all in one night? I’m a man of many talents.”
You smirked, leaning over to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “You’re also a man with a very tired wife and a son snoring between us. Maybe tomorrow, Toji.”
Toji groaned dramatically, throwing an arm over his face. “Tomorrow? I’m not getting any younger over here.”
You rolled your eyes, stifling a laugh as you settled back down, pulling the blanket up over the three of you. “Goodnight, Santa.” you teased, nudging him lightly.
Toji huffed but couldn’t suppress the faint smile tugging at his lips as he turned to wrap an arm protectively over both you and Megumi. He looked at you both warmly.
“Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas to me." he muttered, his voice soft and warm. And despite his earlier grumbling, you could feel the contentment radiating from him.
For Fushiguro Toji, there was no better gift than this—his family, safe and sound, wrapped in the warmth of a love he’d never stop cherishing. Life was great.
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pomefioredove · 4 months ago
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the overblots (+ rook + lillia? if thats okay) reactions to you calling them your husband…………..
saw the words lilia and husband in the same ask and got so excited I blacked out
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ calling them your husband
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, rook, idia, malleus, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, established relationship
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Riddle "we're not married" Rosehearts, everyone. and he says it so matter-of-factly too! like, of course, you know that. you were just trying to be sweet and romantic. he figures it out eventually, though (the realization hits him like a truck two hours later, and he apologizes with roses and a slice of tart. Ace makes fun of him for weeks)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona is so smug about it actually. unlike Riddle, he's socially aware enough to know that you don't mean it literally. he's like, "damn right I am" and will defo make you say it again. especially in front of the other housewardens. and his family, and random people on the street (he likes it)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
I think Azul would try to actually marry you after that. he is reading way too much into it. I mean, you basically just said you love him and belong to each other in the most intimate and loving way and want to be together forever!!!! (he's already thinking about your wedding rings)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"your boyfriend 😑" THANKS JAMIL. it's not that he doesn't understand what you mean, it's just that he's having NONE of that. thinking about the future scares him he's just a realist!!! and then he fucks up and calls you his spouse without thinking one time... you never let him forget it
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil likes it. he's just sitting there all smug like "😌 yes that's me" definitely also calls you his spouse when you're alone. to him, it's just a symbol of your commitment and a promise of a loving future together. very cute very sweet 10/10
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Rook lights up like a kid on Christmas morning the first time you say it. it's just so!!!! he thinks about it for the rest of the week, and absolutely starts referring to you as his spouse. will sign all of his love notes with "your husband" from then on
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Idia is going THROUGH it. tells you you're being cringe while his face and hair are cherry red (which means he likes it!) definitely going to think about it while in bed staring at the ceiling for months. Ortho overhears and starts calling you his sibling-in-law :)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Malleus. MALLEUS. someone save this poor man. he's unwell. pacing around his room all night, trying to figure out what you meant by that. are you trying to tell him you want him to propose?? you want to marry him?? right now right this second-
you'll have to tell him you meant it as a term of endearment, which both relaxes and disappoints him (say it again, please please pl-)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Lilia doesn't really have a reaction. not on the surface, anyway. he just goes on with the conversation (he is fighting demons in his head rn). he decides he likes it, though, and he'll introduce you to everyone as his spouse from then on
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tonycries · 11 months ago
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FIRST masterlist! This masterlist has all my writing from 06/02/24 up until 01/10/24 — for my recent works click on my SECOND MASTERLIST <3
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Men In Uniform Do It Best!
Dirty Lil' Secrets
A Picture Lasts Long (But Not As Long As That D*ck)
I'm Addicted, I Admit It!
Give Me Tough Love
Never Ever Seen This Before!
We Don't Have No Babies!
Like A Fever
Bad Things (To You)
Prettier When Messy!
Care For You!
Green-eyed Monster
So Lonely In My Mansion!
Kiss Me More!
Girl, I Do This Often
Cause, I Love Freaks!
Sl*t Me Out!
Match My Freak!
WAP!
R U Mine?
Hot To Go!
Girl, You Earned It!
I'm A BIG Stepper!
BODY-ODY!
SOOO ANXIOUS
Long Overdue!
THIS P*SSY DEPRESSED!
The Family Matter?!
I-T G-I-R-L!
I Lasted Ten Rounds!
BRAT!
She's My Vitals!
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Three's a Crowd (But Four...) — “So, are they like holograms? Or can you really touch them?” “Why? Trynna cop a feel, sweetheart?” In which you and your boyfriend find very unconventional uses for his powers.
Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? [Part 1] [Part 2] — There were two things missing in the scene in front of you: 1. The aphrodisiac chocolate your friends had given as a gag gift last Christmas that had been hidden away in the back of your refrigerator. 2. Your dear fiancé.
Dream A Little Dream — For the strongest, it was a privilege to dream. Especially when his dream is you. 
Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
One More? Please? — A kiss always solves everything! But when a kiss turns into something more…well, it’s only a desperate attempt to unseal yourselves from this damned prison realm, right? Right?
Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.
Hope They Catch Us — When you’re on-screen, it’s always a rivalry to see who’s best - you just never thought that it would be the same struggle in bed.
Unmistakably Yours — In which the strongest bends space and time - literally - after coming back from deatḣ, to do what he’s always wanted to do - you.
Madam Gojo — Gojo Satoru, the strongest clan leader in all of Japan - and the most dangerous, too. You, rejected by the elders, and totally not his future bride, right? Right?
Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.
The Heir — No, your clan leader husband won’t stop until he gives you an heir. No, you don’t think you’ll make it out alive.
The Call — After an explosive fight with your boyfriend, you really should feel sorry about being swept up by the blue-eyed stranger at the club - but it’s so hard when he kisses you like that.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy — He knows that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels. And you know that you want nothing more than to stay by his side. After meeting an alluring cowboy at Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon, both of you are sure of one thing - this must be fate.
Go For It, Gojo! [Part 1] [Part 2] — You wouldn’t fuck Gojo Satoru even if you were paid…is what you thought exactly five minutes before you were shoved against the wall of this cramped closet, his face stuffed in your soaked panties.
Unhoneymooners!? — The universe was surely playing a joke on you. Here you were, trapped on a luxury getaway with your - dangerously handsome, extremely obnoxious - ex. Either you were going to kill each other or end up pinned beneath him, split apart on his cóck. You just didn’t know what would come first.
AITA For F*cking My Sugar Daddy's Son?! — When your sugar daddy just isn’t paying attention to you, can you really be blamed for fúcking his son? Especially when his son is absolutely obsessed with you.
Bad Boys Bring Roses — You’ve never dealt with the yakuza - not once. So why is the future head of the Gojo clan suddenly coming up to you, demanding that you marry him for 30 days?
The Way You Kiss Me — The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friend’s pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesn’t.
Isn't That Sweet? (I Guess So) — Oh no! Why do your pantíes keep disappearing? Well, maybe your hot roommate knows the answer…
Haunting You — A bIoody trail of vampire attácks, a political marriage, and four suitors you’re forced to choose from - all haunting you. But none as much as the mysterious stranger that makes everything in you scream that you might just be fated for the very thing your kingdom is trying to escape from.
You'll Taste Me Too! — How do you last three days on a work trip with the man you hate the most in the office? You don’t - you end up pinned underneath him, instead.
We Neva Play! — Turns out, the “r” in rivals stands for “really good séx” when a mission becomes a little too hot to handle.
Something Stupid — Five times the strongest would rather díe than tell you he loves you, and the one time he almost does. Almost.
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Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
Like An Animal — Of course Toji doesn’t want any more kids. Of course he’s lying as he stuffs your pretty cúnt full of his cúm for the third time tonight.
Whiskey, Neat, With a Side of You — When your date stands you up, you’re lucky that the hot bartender is more than happy to keep you company! 
Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.
F*ck You! (Literally) — Of course, you hated your ex-husband. Of course, you found yourself in bed with him on your wedding anniversary.
Government Hooker — With the fame and glory of being an international popstar comes the inevitable threat of an overzealous stalker. You just didn’t think that it would also come with a very sexy, buff bodyguard behind your every move.
Madam Zenin — There’s nothing that rouses Toji, the infamous head of the Zenin clan, nothing that will make him lose control - until they take what���s most important to him. You.
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Brooklyn Baby — Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades. Said Suguru doesn’t want to fuck anyone else but you. He couldn’t give less of a fuck if anyone walked in right now. In fact, a small part of him wishes someone would.
Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
Golden Boy — Falling right back in love with the cult leader you’re supposed to kíll? Happens more often than you’d think.
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Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
A Million Dollar Baby! — Turns out, rent can be paid in much more than one way.
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Welcome To The Itadori's! — Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does. 
FIVE! — Five hours - it’s all it takes for Choso’s baby fever to take over. After all, you’d look so pretty with his kid - five of them, in fact.
Great With Kids? (You Can Have Mine) — When your younger brother gets a new babysitter, only two questions linger on your mind: 1. How come your parents didn’t trust you in charge? 2. How dare the sexy babysitter be so perfect - it made you want some attention too.
Freak On The Cam! — Choso always loved watching you - his pretty lil’ camgírl - from behind the screen. Who knew he’d love being on-screen with you even more?
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Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.
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Exes who...
Love Is Blind
“She My Best Friend, Yeah We Not a Couple.”
Wanna Do Bad Things To You
I Wanna Get Freaky On Camera
Lemme Ride, Baby!
Can I Fill You Up, Baby?
"Pull On It. Harder."
Little Heaven
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©2024 tonycries. All work belongs to @tonycries. Do NOT repost, modify, translate or plagiarize in any way on ANY platforms. This includes themes, headers, and pinned.
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fushitoru · 2 months ago
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all i want for christmas is you! a gojo satoru fic
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pairing ⸺ bf!gojo x reader
summary ⸺ after a well needed rest from the kids, you and your boyfriend focus on baking christmas cookies for your pta responsibilities. however, it ends up taking a naughty twist when satoru finds out the surprise you've planned out for him.
warnings ⸺ FLUFF, smut in the form of fingering and p i v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, some jealousy, but mostly crack, pta cookie baking for megumi, very domestic, not edited, “good girl,” teasing, use of pet names like “baby,” gojo is a warning in himself
a/n hbd to my husband and loml 😚😚 i hope you guys enjoy this it kind of made me realize only long fics heal my soul but this is anticipation of holidays :33
general masterlist
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You sometimes did not know what to do with Satoru.
When he told you to come over to make Christmas cookies that are part of his PTA commitments for Megumi, you really didn’t expect him to come out of his room with that sweater on. It’s an ugly sweater—so he’s got the holiday spirit nailed down—that has printed “BIG PACKAGE JUST FOR YOU.” Below it, a cartoon Santa stood pantsless, strategically holding a neatly wrapped gift box over his crotch.
You give him a look as he comes out to join you in the kitchen. “Please don’t tell me you wore that in front of Tsumiki and Megumi.”
He has the gall to look offended as he puts on his even stupider “Your opinion wasn’t on the recipe” apron. “Of course, what kind of father do you think I am?”
You sigh, moving to put in the last of the dry ingredients. “I saw Megumi watching Breaking Bad on his iPad last week.”
“What?” he gasps dramatically as he pauses while moving for the fridge. “I swear I downloaded Youtube Kids!”
Look, Satoru is a good dad. Foster-dad. Whatever. He’s been taking care of Megumi and Tsumiki for ages now, ever since that incident happened, and he’s been doing his best. But, unfortunately, his adult life and burdens and responsibilities cause him sometimes to be a absent father. He makes up for it—goes shopping with Tsumiki for her clothes, spends quality time with Megumi.
One thing he’d never miss, however, are those PTA meetings.
He is the PTA mom final boss. No matter what event is being held, he’s going to go all out. You don’t miss the smirk he gives to Karen everytime he brings an even bigger cookie platter for Megumi’s homeroom than she did for her son Sam’s, nor the sassy pursed lips as he donates artist-grade markers from Michael’s instead of Mia’s cheap ones from Walmart.
Yea, he is just petty like that, but it’s always the moms whose sons have gotten into fights with Megumi that he outdoes everytime. You know better than to question his peculiar form of revenge.
“I think that means he found a way to break through the parental controls. He’s definitely your kid,” you reply with a bit of mirth in your voice. Then, you quickly move to intercept Satoru’s journey to get the eggs as soon as you notice a miniscule movement of his. You were not about to let Satoru force another trip to Whole Foods with the clumsiness you’re all too familiar with in your five years of dating.
Grabbing the eggs before he can, you turn around to find him staring at you, a dazzled look on his face.
“What?” you ask, already smirking. The view of the outfit you’d worn today had been obscured by the apron when he first came in, but when you moved to get the eggs in front of him, he definitely got a view of your ass in your tiny red skirt and fuzzy, festive top.
“Why the hell are you wearing a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit?”
“I was thinking we’d watch Christmas movies and chill today after the cookies!” you exclaim, just as Satoru interrupts with, “We’re baking cookies for children, you freak.”
The room went dead silent.
Your cheerful smile dropped instantly. Meanwhile, Satoru’s face lit up like he’s just won the lottery, full of pure glee.
Both of you shout at the same time, “What?”
You slam the eggs down onto the counter with just enough force to make him flinch, narrowing your eyes at him. “Excuse me? Did you just call me a freak?”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” he yelped, backpedaling so fast you were surprised he didn’t trip over his own feet. “It’s just—” He gestured wildly at you. “—that outfit is… is…”
“Is what?” you demand, crossing your arms and daring him to dig himself deeper.
“Babe,” he starts to whine, apologetic like a wet dog and padding his way back over to you while pulling you in for a back hug. “It’s hot, okay? Don’t get me wrong, it’s driving me crazy. I’m trying to focus on cookies, and you’re over here looking like every Christmas fantasy I didn’t know I had.”
“Get off me,” you grumble, shooting him a glare as you try to shake him off. “You are not touching these cookies. Sit on the couch.”
He yelps as you slap his hand. “Babe, but I’ll just be reinforcing the patriarchy if I let you stay and do all the work in the kitchen.” Then, he moves closer to your ear like the chronically online loser he is and whispers, “6’ 3’’ btw.”
“Go away!” you shriek, waving him off. This process would indeed be two times faster if Satoru was on his couch. There wasn’t any rush, but you’d really appreciate getting to the dicking-down part of tonight after much appreciated privacy from the kids for the first time in forever. You take a mental note to thank Yuji’s grandpa and Nobara’s grandmother with extra cookies for the sleepover as you shoo your boyfriend to the couch.
You get back to work on the wet ingredients by cracking the eggs, but not before you hear a “I’ll be reflecting on the systematic oppression women face in the workforce.”
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Pulling off the oven mitts on your hands, you wash your hand but not without sneaking a peek over the kitchen counter. You were locked in on the cookies, paying no mind to Satoru’s existential bemoaning, and now that you’re done, you can’t wait for the fun part of tonight.
After waiting a few minutes and checking and rechecking the cookies to make sure they’re done, you set them aside to cool and make sure to turn off the oven. Tonight, you were determined to get that big fucking package Santa owed you, and your boyfriend was going to be the one to deliver it.
As you walk out, you know the strat you’re going to use: innocently suggest a Christmas movie to watch, snuggle close to him, and he’ll fall into the trap you set for him like a bear towards honey. You know your boyfriend all too well, and today, you were feeling coy.
He’s stretched out on the couch, scrolling on his phone, his posture as awful as ever. But the second he hears your footsteps, his head snaps up. His eyes immediately dart to the movement of your bare legs, lingering on the tiny red skirt you’re still wearing, before slowly traveling back up to your chest. Wow. He really wasn’t making this difficult.
You plop down next to him while grabbing the remote, pulling up Netflix. “What movie should we watch today?”
He blinks, clearly distracted. “We’re watching a movie?”
The Princess Switch catches in the side of your eye as you scroll through the options. Without looking at him, you answer, “Yes? What else were we going to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawls, his voice already dipping into that teasing tone you know so well. “Maybe something that doesn’t involve Vanessa Hudgens playing herself two times.”
You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Don’t knock it till you try it, Mr. Holiday Spirit.”
His gaze doesn’t leave you, though, and when you finally glance at him, his expression has shifted. He’s not teasing anymore. His eyes are a little darker, his lips twitching like he’s holding back a grin. “What?” you ask, already smirking.
“Nothing,” he says, his voice lower now. “Just... you look really good in that outfit.”
Your cheeks heat, but you play it off with a laugh. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Satoru.”
“Won’t it?” he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his hand brushing against your knee. The heat of his palm lingers even after he pulls it away, and you feel your heart skip a beat.
You’re about to respond—something witty, something to keep the banter going—but then his hand moves again, this time resting firmly on your thigh. “You’re really going to make me sit through a Christmas movie when you look like that?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.
Your breath hitches, and you can’t help the way your body reacts, leaning just a fraction closer to him. “What would you rather do?” you challenge, your voice softer now.
His gaze dips to your lips, and that’s all the invitation he needs. In a second, he’s closing the distance, his mouth pressing against yours in a kiss that’s anything but sweet. It’s hungry and demanding, like he’s been waiting for this all day, and when his hand slides higher up your thigh, you realize you’ve completely forgotten about the movie and the preview playing. Satoru, clearly a little annoyed judging by the pout on his face, moves to close the preview featuring Vanessa Hudgens’ obnoxious British accent and then the room is silent except for the wet sounds of your sloppy kissing.
When you’ve both made out for a while—now with you on his lap—you both pull back with fastened breaths, looking at each other’s glistening lips. Finally, from Satoru comes out a, “That. I wanted to do that.”
Maybe it’s the attention whore in you always looking to rile up Satoru and get his affection, but you couldn’t refrain from blurting out a “Are you sure you wanted to do this with me, or would Linda have sufficed?”
At the scrunch of Satoru’s nose, his face practically spells out a Who the fuck is Linda? “You know, the one that gets really friendly with you when I’m going to the bathroom at those PTA meetings.”
Satoru sometimes did not know what to do with you.
Here he is, trying to make out with you when you’re looking like that, makeup done perfectly and looking beautiful as always. He hasn’t gotten laid with you in a hot minute, and here you are, picking at him. He has no fucking clue who Linda is, but what he does know is that you’re really cute when you get jealous. “Yeah?” he teases, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your cheek. His grin is maddeningly smug, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Linda sounds nice. Should I call her up?”
Your jaw drops, but the sharp retort forming in your head is lost when his hand slides from your cheek to your neck, his thumb brushing lightly along your jawline. He leans closer, his breath warm against your skin. “You know,” he continues, his voice a low murmur, “if you’re jealous, you could just say so.”
“I’m not jealous,” you shoot back, your voice unconvincing even to yourself. You shift under his gaze, trying to keep up the façade, but it’s hard when his lips hover so close to yours.
Satoru’s grin widens. “No? Then why are you bringing up some imaginary PTA Linda when I’m clearly only interested in you?” His lips press against the corner of your mouth, a slow, deliberate kiss that makes your breath catch.
“You’re clearly only interested in being annoying,” you quip, but the words lack their usual bite as his hand slips lower, trailing down your side until it rests on your bare thigh. His touch is firm, possessive, and it sends a shiver through you.
“Annoying?” he echoes, his tone mock-offended. “That’s a big word for someone who just ruined a perfectly good makeout session to talk about Linda.”
You glare at him, but the effect is ruined when his thumb begins tracing lazy circles on your thigh. “I didn’t ruin anything,” you argue weakly.
“Didn’t you?” He dips his head, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot just below your ear. “Because now, instead of kissing you like I want to, I’m stuck reassuring you that Linda doesn’t stand a chance against my very sexy, very jealous girlfriend.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, but it turns into a soft gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his tongue soothing the faint sting. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, but your hands betray you, tangling in his hair and tugging him closer.
“Mm, but you like it,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck. His free hand slides higher, skimming under the hem of your skirt, his fingers teasing against the soft skin of your hip. “Admit it.”
“Shut up,” you manage, though your voice is breathless now. He’s too close, his scent overwhelming, his touch setting your nerves on fire. When his hand tightens on your thigh and he pulls you closer, you give in, letting him capture your lips in a kiss that’s all desperation.
Linda, whoever she may be, is long forgotten as Satoru kisses you like he’s trying to make up for every second you’ve spent apart. His hands roam, his touch firm and confident, and when he pulls back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re all I want,” you believe him completely.
A breathless “Satoru” leaves your lips as he gently–but hurriedly–lowers you down to lay on the couch while he bends over you, inching down the hem of your top to bury his head in your tits. “Oh my god,” he groaned. “I missed my girls.” He starts to leaves rough kisses, an occasional bite and suck, and then stops. Takes in a deep breath. “Wow, you smell good babe.”
You look at him, flustered. “Stop smelling my tits, oh my god.” For good measure, you grab his hair to bury his face against your breasts once more.
“No,” smooch, “it’s,” smooch, “smelling good. Like the new holiday scents from Bath and Body Works.” He then abandons your chest to kiss his way down your body, sliding your skirt down as he kisses around the edge of your panties. “I’ve missed her, too.”
Despite yourself, you moan, spreading your legs to give him full access. He takes it enthusiastically, giving you a little kiss in your middle. Then, his eyes don’t leave yours as he uses his teeth to pull your panties down, slowly and sultry. Your pussy leaks even more, and the motherfucker notices, because there’s a faint smirk on his face as he hones back in your wetness, running his fingers to spread your slick. “Wow, my girl must have been sooo pent up,” he croons, eyes not leaving your hole and the way it clenched every time he spoke. “My good girl is soo desperate.”
Without missing a beat, you sneakily reply, “Don’t call me that, that’s so corny oh my god—-“ You’re interrupted with your own gasp as he enters a finger in. When he finally curls it, hitting your g-spot dead on, you suck in your breath. You really missed this.
“Oh, really?” He giggles, clearly amused by you trying to rile him up. “If my baby doesn’t like being called a good girl then why is she clenching so hard on my—“ thrust— “fingers?”
And suddenly the feminist in you leaves as his big, thick fingers ram into you faster than ever, and you start squealing like the slut you are for your incredibly hot boyfriend who’s equally as much of a slut for you, judging based on the rock hard erection against your thigh. Take that, Linda.
You’re in a daze of pleasure, too fucked out to notice Gojo wrenching down his sweats to pull out his throbbing cock, to pump it to full mast. It’s only when he rips his finger away from your cavern that you start to whimper, clawing at his arms to continue fingering you.
And he starts cooing, giving you a small kiss on your cheek as he aligns his dick with your pussy. “I know baby, I know,” and he groans as the soft, wet heat of your pussy grips on him hard as he pushes in. It’s not long before he starts thrusting, wiping your tears while driving in even faster. “Wow, good fucking pussy.”
“Satoru,” you whine, but you don’t even know for what. You were close enough when he was fingering you, but now you’re steadily approaching your climax. But Satoru, who’s attuned to what your body needs, readjusts himself to go even deeper.
It’s when you gasp loudly that a glint lights up in his eyes. “That’s the spot, isn’t it?” He drives into that spot like a jackhammer, savoring in your little squeals and moans of his name, until finally, he feels you climax.
“Oh my god,” you says breathlessly as your orgasm takes over you, convulsing while Satoru doesn’t let up, continuing his pace until his hips become more sloppy. After a few off rhythm thrusts, he comes in you, collapsing on top of you.
He’s breathing heavily from exertion, and you run your nails on his back and hair gently. You both bask in the glow of your orgasm. Of course, that is until Satoru perks his head up. “Do you think I can eat that kid Martin’s cookie? Megumi told me he doesn’t like him and that he’s annoying—-OWWW, what was that for?”
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satonomi · 1 month ago
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pearl necklace — gojo satෆru
mdni, fem!reader, suggestive, 0.8k wc, established relationship, christmas fic, gojo is a cheeky little shit like always, gifts his wife a cum necklace, wifey doesn’t like gojonanigans, pet names, this whole thing is a sexual innuendo in itself, reader is kinda really oblivious.
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the gift sat on your lap, and you gently peeled back the intricate wrapping paper, letting out a sharp, delicate gasp at the sight that greeted you.
“oh, satoru. it’s beautiful.”
beautiful it was indeed, a stunning piece, sitting inside a black velvet box, held securely in place. the design was simple, dainty, something you’d be able to wear every day — yet still eye catching and an elegant display of wealth. a single, creamy pearl hung low on the silver chain, small glistening encrusted diamonds sitting at the very top; white and of course, blue, hinting at the striking shade of satoru’s eyes.
such gifts were nothing new to you, and as he went to retrieve the expensive jewelry from your grasp, you turned your back to him out of habit, moving your hair to the side.
“only the best for you.” he murmured, breath puffing against your nape, planting a wet kiss before drawing back.
long, deft fingers opened the clasp, pale hands maneuvering their way around your neck. you shiver at the cool metal brushing against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of your husband’s fingertips.
once it’s fastened, your chin dips down to your chest, continuing to admire the necklace. it wasn’t the most extravagant or expensive thing you’ve received from him, but it was just as beautiful as anything else he’s ever gotten you. the tiny gems sparkle against the christmas lights from the big tree, appearing even more dazzling.
however, upon further inspection, you couldn’t help but notice something about the necklace seemed a bit…off.
you’re vastly familiar with pricey accessories and clothing thanks to a certain someone. therefore, you could easily spot a real from a fake. pearls in their nature were cool to the touch, which it was. but they were also heavy, which this one was not.
it strikes you as odd. you know your husband well enough to know he’d never buy you a counterfeit— it’d be a slight to his ego if you ever insinuated he did for he was certainly not lacking in wealth — and even so, satoru only buys custom made jewelry, all in order for no one else in the world to ever own or wear the same thing as you.
examining the singular pearl further, you pinched the white orb between your middle finger and thumb, tapping on it repeatedly with the tip of your perfectly manicured nail on your pointer finger to test the hollowness of the sphere.
satoru looks over, jaw resting on your shoulder while his arms hooked themselves over your waist. he watches intently, hypnotized by the movements and soft, reverberating clacking sound, unable to think of anything else but you repeating the exact motion on the tip of his cock.
“mm, what’s wrong? not to your taste?”, he grumbled, and though you couldn’t see it, you could practically hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.
it was a ridiculous—no—outrageous question, and he knew that. your husband knew you better than you knew yourself. and you knew him better than he knew himself. with that, you could tell there was more to that cheeky smile than he let on.
“satoru.” you warned, only to receive a pout in response from the corner of your eye.
he blinks. “whaaat? i didn’t even do anything and you’re scolding me.”
“yes, you did. tell me. right now.”
a childish whine sounds beside your ear at the chastising tone. he hugs you tighter into his arms—willing you not to be mad—firm, muscular chest pressing against your back.
“‘s nothing baby, just—”, and he giggles, flicking the little ball so that it makes a soft ping! sound.
“wanted you to always have a piece of me with you...” he finishes, biting his lip, trying to fight back his laughter at his little inside joke.
satoru bats his lashes at you when you turn to face him over your shoulder—innocent. your brows furrow in confusion, and your eyes fix back onto the light, creamy pearl nestled between your fingers with a glare, daring it to give you the answers to all of your questions.
the silence that follows tells your husband of your ongoing obliviousness to his implication. he sighs at his ever-so dumb wife, gaze locked onto your face from his place behind you, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement and mischief.
“oh, don’t make that face, my dear. you’ll figure it out eventually.”
a hand releases your waist, taking the pearl from you and stroking it. his fingers caress the sphere in a slow, sensual rhythm and he leans in, lips brushing against your ear, voice dropping to a whisper.
“but for now, let’s just say that this pearl has a unique...essence.”
ping!
“one that’s all mine.”
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