#fidzpoems

[ddarwen]

Wanting you

I walked pass the place that we first met

And a rush of memories washed over me

Evading every pore of my being

Bringing me to that exact moment.

The tight bear hug when we embraced that first time

The smell of your cologne lingered on me

As you went to get drinks

I knew then that I wanted you

Listening to you speak

About what’s dear to you

And showing me all the pics

As you reached out your hand

When we were leaving

Though it was our first then

It was so natural for me to reach and have my hands in yours, feeling the calloused hands for the first time that actually brought warmth to my core

Comfort by your presence

I knew I wanted you

When you asked if you could kiss me

I knew I wanted you more when our lips met

Too fast it may be

But you’ve got me

Got me wanting

Hopefully, to be your forevermore

[ddarwen]

Tired

I’m tired

I’m tired of being someone’s side chick

I’m tired of being someone’s secret

I’m tired of being someone’s second choice

I’m tired of being nothing and unworthy to someone

I’m tired of being lied to

I’m tired of being cheated on

I’m tired of being put down and told off for something that they did and not offering the slightest remorse

I’m tired of being the punching bag of words

I’m tired of feeling the love to only see it fade

I’m tired of having the hope

I’m tired of thinking that I’m going to be the one only to end up being not

I’m tired of being played

I’m tired of looking

I’m tired of searching

I’m tired

Just very tired.

[ddarwen]

How do you tell

How do you tell someone That you love them so? But how does one know If it's really love then? It's easy to tell someone You love them When he is your brother Who has always been there It's easy to tell someone You love them When she is your sister Who lived all the way in America It's easy to tell someone You love them When she's your mother Whom you lived and taken care of all your life But how do you tell someone You love them When it's only months That you've known them How do you tell someone They feel like home When you're near them And feel safe with them even for awhile How do you tell someone That they're the lightness to your heart And their presence alone Melts all that was hard How do you tell someone That their voice alone brings a smile to your face And their smile Simply makes your world seem right in place How do you tell someone That they're the one The one person you suddenly see a future with Waking up and going through the stresses of life each day beside them How do you tell someone All these When at the same time you're so afraid That you'll lose them in the end

-Fidz *written on 17 August 2024

[ddarwen]

Stepping back version 2

I know the things I say And the questions I ask May seem silly to you Honestly, I often don't even know why I do that too I hate it when we are like this When there's this drift between us I know you say you're cold Not so long you must hold I want things as before And not this nasty draft You my Habibi, am I still your Mawlana? Can together we laugh? I miss our texts I miss our talks I even miss Seeing you in your thoughts I know almost a week has passed Perhaps I shouldn't ask But I don't quite understand now This step back that you've asked Step back from what I would like to know From the hugs and kisses? Which I miss though I know deep down Walking away was wrong But crying me was weak And I felt frowned upon Apologise again Mr Ahmed, I must to thee Forgive me again Mrs Ahmed plea -Fidz

*written on 10 September 2024

[ddarwen]

Stepping Back

I hate it when we are like this When there's this drift between us i know you say you're cold And I hope it'll pass

I know the things I say And the questions I ask May seem silly to you Honestly, I don't even know why I had to ask

I know a week has passed Perhaps I shouldn't ask But I don't quite understand now This step back that you've asked

I want things as before And not this nasty draft You my Habibi and I your Mawlana Together we laugh

Step back from what I would like to know Coz it's breaking my heart That I know for sure -Fidz *written on 31 July 2024

[ddarwen]

Am Not Him

Your words were a mirror, reflecting a face that's not mine.

A label that cut like a knife, a weight that pressed upon my chest.

I felt erased, like my identity was lost in the jest.

In that moment, I felt like I was living someone else' rout.

But I know who I am, a soul that's unique and true.

Who would not do unto you as he did me.

The pain upon my chest, and a shattered heart.

Your comparison was a test, one that I'll rise above, anew.

Just so you know the difference that I am not him not even a few.

[ddarwen]

A wish

A prayer

A hope

For us to be together

Now and forever more

In this life and the next

-Fidz

- written on 2 July 2023

[ddarwen]

My Nubian Prince

The first time I laid eyes on him

He caught my attention almost immediately.

With his dark skin and lovely smile

Ever just showing those pearly whites.

His skin so dark yet silky

As it radiates all his masculinity

As he stands tall in front of me

Naked and bare

As if challenging a dare.

When he spoke,

His voice thrilled me to my toes

When he moves close

I swear he could hear my heart beats

This moment right now

This dark prince is mine

Mine to adore, hopefully forever more

This Nubian Prince is mine for sure.

[ddarwen]

Sensual

As he lays down

In bed

She slowly crawls next to him

And laid her head.

They laid as such

For a while

Before he turns to her

And flashes his gorgeous smile

He traces his fingertips

Outlining her lips

She quivers with anticipation

Moving her hands to his hips

His lips touches hers

Tasting and biting it so

Soft moans escaping her

Within her she crow

Kisses leads to more

Intense mingling

Bodies and torso

Moaning, squirming

Reaching climax

Perspiration and all

They lay on backs

Spent and all

Eyes fluttering

Hearts slowing

Arms wrapping

Satiated and dreaming.

[ddarwen]

Across the oceans.

It’s interesting

What the internet does

It brings us together

Though we are miles apart.

Two strangers

With different time zones

Long chats last hours

Bringing smiles n laughter

To each other’s souls

Knowing if we met in real

We would never

Glance at each other at all.

Not knowing

The common grounds

We both hold

N the interest we share.

But we both know

That it will never be

The object of love

You and me.

[ddarwen]

The sleeping man

I used to like to watch you sleep I could just lay there and stare you deep I would smile when you scratch your balls And even laugh when you sit up tall I used to answer when u talk in your sleep And get the funniest answers Sometimes full of shit. I even remember the time I was a booth When you hit me on my tummy and told me to move. Annoying as it was when you grind your teeth I thought you were arranging your jaw you see. All this, made me smile Coz I knew you were by my side But now when I look All I want to do is scream at you I no longer enjoy to see You close your eyes And trust me I'm very annoyed when I can't sleep With all that grinding when you're into deep I'm pissed when you call her name Or moan and groan when u stroke your bone(r) I can't stand laying beside you Kick you out is all I want to do. Your actions have hurt me so I now know I love you no more.

[ddarwen]

Save me

Today seems to be the day I screw everybody up In the most annoying way But it's you that I didn't mean to the most. Anguish! Exhaustion! Emotions! All washed over me Like the wave enveloping a surfer Riding out at sea. Words said with no intentions to hurt The one person I didn't want to push away But I did and it didn't make me feel better Making me fall deeper into a rut consumed with darker emotions. Struggling to pull myself up. Picking myself up. But I keep falling deeper and deeper. With what seems there was no way out. Tears streaking, No way of stopping, I'm not even sure how. Please please I'm begging u please Pull me out from this Save me again. Save me once more. Save me from this pain That I want no more. Written:- Mufidah MB

[ddarwen]

Part of today's lesson..........

..........was to try to write sentences that rhyme.....just like rapping. I had to give an example to the class of what I wanted out of the students. Hence, I wrote on the board :- I saw a bear, It has no hair, And it looks like it just don't' care. Upon telling them that they have to present it to the class by rapping, the students got excited and went straight to writing it - of course I had to extend the time for them when they were still enthusiastically writing. Of course, the teacher had to write down one too, to kick start the lesson. This is what I came up with since it's their last day of class with me. My heart feels heavy I am not steady I hate this feeling Coz I know there is no fooling You have to go All leave tomorrow Though we are apart You will always remain in my heart. I must admit, I'm not so much as a rapper. I'll just stick to writing poems instead. The students came out with fabulous verses of their own and I am so proud of them because they manage to do it all on their own. Moments like this just makes me happy!

[ddarwen]

Untitled poem

My first set of students have finished their class with me and will be heading back to their homeland. I will miss them so.

My heart feels heavy

I just hate this feeling

Just because I have to say goodby

Knowing I will have to let you go

I will cherish the moments I have had

In these few months we have spent

Though we are apart

You will always remain in my heart.

[ddarwen]

Poetry 10 - Imagine it so.

I chance upon this poem that I wrote perhaps 7 years ago.

This is how I imagine us

If ever we were together.

Sitting on the sofa

Facing each other.

Our legs would prop

Against one another

Books in our hands

Reading as the hour goes.

And by the end of our time spent reading,

I’d snuggle close to you

And you’d hold me tenderly

Then brushing your soft lips

on my forehead loving me so.

[ddarwen]

Poetry 9 - One of those days

As I open my eyes

From the stupor of sleep.

It was as if time stood still

Begging me to take that leap.

I started questioning myself

What have I done to this very moment?

Have I made right decisions

Or just doing things at the spur of the moment.

I feel my life is suddenly so stagnant

Nothing accomplish at all.

I feel just hollow emptiness

Is there any meaning to it all?

Seeing people around me

Making it big,

Having a better life

Better than mine I must admit.

I’ve suddenly lost the sense of happiness

I’ve suddenly lost the sense of meaning

What am I here for?

What the hell am I doing?

I feel envious of people’s happiness

I feel envious of people’s life

What am I missing?

What is my jive?

So as I lay there,

Looking up at the ceiling.

Time suddenly decides

To not stand still.

Life still goes on

Even before I can think

What does life mean

I will have to keep wondering.

written by ddarwen aka Mufidah مفيده