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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 9 months ago

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Who is White?

If it is not I, your friendly neighbourhood non-binary deranged literature major, once again to tell you about stuff that the voices™︎ have prompted me.

This time, let's talk about the elephant in the room, the odd one out: Mr. White, a.k.a the fandom's babyboy.

(me as Fluke in this GIF, walking in ready to dissect this bitch)

So, what do we factually know about this man?

From what we're directly told in the show:

He's Tee's boyfriend, at least, since 12th grade, meaning they have been together for about 3 years, maybe 4 (depending on when exactly we are in terms of time in the present and when exactly during 12th grade they started dating).

He's younger than the rest of them, according to Por and Top in episode 1.

He studied at a different school from the main gang AND from Phee (yes, despite the embroidery having a similar colour, the writings where the institution's name should be are nothing alike, thus, not from the same place)

He cares a lot about his appearance (he does skincare when Por is literally dying downstairs and he sees a rash on his body while under the effect of New's absynthe - idk if it's absynthe or not but my friends and I have been calling it that since we saw them drink the green drinks so it's absynthe for me and there's that).

He's generally a very respectful person (he always speaks formally and nicely to everyone, even when people are hostile to him, like Tee or Fluke).

His fear doesn't seem to paralyze him in high-pressure situations (he strikes people with a tripod twice to save himself and others when he thinks they're in danger).

Another source could be the Yearbook, which, now, we have to be a bit more skeptical about because, as seen in New's case, it's not 100% accurate. One can argue that it is accurate because the yearbook would have Tan's info, since that's who he's living as and no one knows any better than that, including the institutions and, sure, yeah, fair. But while we don't know that White is hiding anything from us as well, we can't be sure of it. So, take the following with a grain of salt:

(translated with Google Translate)

His legal name is Watcharin Siriphan

He was born on the 25th of February 2005 (which confirms what Por and Top say)

His blood type is A (which according to the Blood Type Personality Theory means he is shy, stubborn, a perfectionist, polite and hard-working, apparently. tbh this thing is super shifty, no source seems to agree on the meaning of each type and, of course, it's a pseudoscience and all, so... yeah. take it as you will)

He's studying Software Engineering

He likes cakes

He dislikes cockroaches

He plays games and programs in his free time

So... We don't know much. He's the most generic person ever. Like... I too, and half the world's population, like cake, dislike cockroaches and like to play games. It's not exactly very special. Which is exactly why he is so intriguing. After all, we had 5 whole episodes so far, which were just the backstory of the people we see together in the mansion in the present. We've seen their personalities, their qualities and flaws, what they did and what they didn't do. We've been given a reason as to why they're here. Not just in the more direct sense of "they agreed to come here for Jin's goodbye party" but of why exactly they needed to be put all together in these conditions for this story. All except White. White is just... Barely an afterthought. We're shown when he comes into this story for the group (when he becomes Tee's boyfriend), but we're not given a reason so far as to why the narrative wants him there.

Because, sure, IRL people sometimes end up in random places and things can be pretty meaningless but this is a work of fiction. One that, evidently, has been greatly focused on details (Non's framed apple picture and Phee eating an apple alone, for example, or the correlation between the group and the colour blue). So why would it just throw us a character that is, seemingly, irrelevant to the story?

And to this, there are 2 possibilities my friends: either White is a narrative tool to get to the audience or White is not who we think he is. So let's explore it, shall we?

White = Narrative Tool

Let's start by assuming, possibly the most likely outcome, that White is exactly just a guy who ended up there due to his connection to Tee. Why would this narrative need that character?

Glad you asked. Because he's the only person who's 100% innocent. If he's just some guy who, as we've seen, keeps being respectful and nice and trying to always do the right thing, then he's got nothing to do with the others who, in different degrees are all guilty of something. He's the odd one out.

Because, yes, this is not a show of villains (at least, not in which concerns the main characters). They're all morally grey. But they have some drop of black that makes them grey.

Por is arrogant and a liar and selfish.

Tee is aggressive and manipulative and a control freak.

Top is an overall asshole and a coward.

These 3 actively bully Non. Por steals his work. Tee and Top blame him for shit he didn't do which puts in the situation where he owns Por and they spy on him. Tee manipulates him into mafia money laundry and threatens him.

Fluke is selfish and refuses to take action even when he knows it's the right thing to do.

Jin's doesn't have the capability to realize that the peaceful passive way with which he normally carries himself with won't solve the issue. Plus he's overly emotional. And a bit selfish too.

They didn't help Non when it was their moral obligation to do so. And Jin records him being abused by their teacher and possibly posts it online (though that's still up for debate).

Phee is too stubborn and also overly emotional and even overly empathic.

New is obsessive and vengeful.

Phee never really helps Non because all the ways he offers Non help are the wrong ones. He almost tries to control him. And he fails. And then he tells him awful things and breaks up with him in a terribly vulnerable moment for Non. And even when he regrets it and tries to bring justice to him, he fucks Jin because he wanted to and tries to cover it up as if it was part of the plan. Sure, they were broken up, technically, but Phee himself seems to have had "take-backies" over that breaking up. So, in his mind, at least, it's fair to say he cheats on him, which is very hypocritical after how he reacts to Non being abused. And New... He tries to help sincerely because he feels guilty but he only makes things worse. Nothing is solved and their father curses them both before committing public suicide at their mom's funeral.

Non (which may be even more relevant if he's still alive) is overly independent and uncommunicative.

He doesn't tell Jin he has a boyfriend when it's clear Jin's trying to make a move on him, event though Non's not interested. He hides very important things from Phee. He commits fraud (understandably, but yeah). And yeah, he's justified in his rage and attack but... Does he ever think of how his actions affect other such as Jin, for example, who, in his eyes, is innocent? Not really.

"Oh but White won't die!", I hear you say. "The innocent people never die in slashers!! Only the people who did the killer wrong do!" And that's exactly where I have to disagree.

So, amidst a sea of grey characters, White is, funnily enough: white. He's just good. He's done nothing wrong. And the narrative needs him because, when the others die, we'll feel (to different degrees, sure, but still, we will) that there's a reason. Even if we like the characters, those deaths will make sense. But what happens when an innocent man dies? What happens when you kill the man who wasn't even supposed to be there (he joined the trip at the last minute)?

As @syrena-del-mar says in this post: "DFF is more than just a 90s slasher film imitation". It "sits at a novel intersection of genre: horror slasher on the one hand and BL on the other hand" as @brifrischu puts it here and, for that, it bends expectations and rules and subverts what are natural tropes and events of the slasher archetype. White dying is the sort of thing this narrative, and our inventive genius Sammon, would do. Because... Do you really think they're giving us grey characters instead of black ones because we're supposed not to question this revenge? Because we're supposed to be happy about this? No. Of course not. That would be dumb. If we're meant to 100% side with the killer, then why give us likeable characters as the targets? Because, and this is as much speculation as it is reading the room, we're not.

This story, I don't know how it will end, but regardless I'm pretty confident it's supposed to tell us something important about cycles of violence: that they're neverending until someone chooses peace instead. That aggression and bloodshed and revenge... They won't bring time back, they won't undo the mistakes we make, they won't restore that which is lost, they won't make the grief go away... That they won't make us feel better. More even: that they will only hurt more people, create more injustice and prompt more revenge. And, thus, perpetuate the cycle.

So what's White's role? Being the final drop into our collective cup of realization (and perhaps the characters' as well) that this revenge mission is pointless and won't solve anything. White's role is to die.

"Oh, but uncle Dang was also innocent! Is his death not enough??", I hear you ask. And well... Maybe, maybe not. I think, honestly, his death is too impersonal for us to feel too deeply about it. Like, sure, yes, it is the death of an innocent, but it's a distant innocent. It doesn't make our blood boil because we don't know shit about that man. But, for all we don't know of White's past, we've seen him cry, we've seen him scared, we've seen him fight for his life, we've seen him be a good boyfriend and a good friend. He might just be some dude but we like him. He's the fandom's babyboy, as I said. It is more impactful and it tells the story better.

But this is just a hypothesis. And it might not convince you. And that's fair. So, because I'm a persistent obnoxious fucker with a little too much free time, I'm bringing you a second theory. For this one, though... You might need a little tinfoil hat... Be prepared.

White ≠ Who He Says He Is

So, if you think just having a character be hollow and pure good in a show of very fleshed-out and grey characters is weird, even if he might be narratively relevant, then we can only assume there's something important to White's character we don't know about yet. (I'm adding this in retrospective because I forgot but this idea came to me partially from @yellingaboutkp and their great analysis of horns in the show that you can find here)

But what could that be? We've seemingly seen all the flashbacks we needed from everyone, White doesn't seem very relevant to anyone's storyline but Tee's but... We'd assume if there was something directly connected to Tee's actions and White that we needed to see, we would've. Admittedly, the next episode seems to be on its way to tell us what Tee knows about what happened to Non and Keng while they were captured by the mafia and he could be there but I think, honestly, that it goes deeper than that. And here's why: because there's a person who's even more of an odd one out then White: whoever Perth's character is.

Now, he would've been completely unsuspicious if it wasn't for one thing: Perth's presence in the promotion of this series. He's just... Always there, somehow? Like, his character has only really appeared last episode massaging Tee's uncle but he's constantly talking about this series. Plus, his name is very well credited. AND, the absolute cherry on top, his character appears in THIS poster:

Now, yeah, I understand Marketing and Publicity (it's part of my Master's, you don't have to explain it to me). So, I know this could very well just be a strategy to sell the series. After all, Perth did get a lot of attention after The Hidden Character, I know, I know. It's also a way to put his name out there for other future roles, kinda like a soft launch. Plus, this is the show that killed Us's character first when he was one of the most popular actors in the cast. HOWEVER, I'd argue that, considering the previously mentioned attention to detail, they would not have given one of their rising stars a role in this series if it wasn't important. Like... No other background character without lines (so far) was given an important actor to play it. So pardon me, but I don't buy it. Perth's character's gotta matter somehow. And, back to what I was saying, I think the next episode will be exactly where.

See, I made a poll here on the hellsite asking what y'all think happened to Non. It's this one. And it shows that, overwhelmingly, we all think Non is alive BECAUSE he was helped by the man himself:

"Okay, Dante, but, even if that's true, where does White fit in all this?" Glad. You. Asked.

Now, if we're assuming Perth's character's the one that's gonna help Non (and possibly Keng or maybe not, idk and it really doesn't matter for now), we've gotta assume he's a possible suspect for the murderer. And even more so under this optic that Non is alive. Who more than a person whose whole reality seemed to be the mafia and who might've escaped it would be okay with murdering people? Right? Or, on the contrary, that he took a liking to Non and is trying to prevent him from further digging himself a hole in life and is trying to save him from himself.

You see, I didn't watch The Hidden Character (and those who did apparently recommend it stays that way). I didn't know any of these people before except those who were in Kinnporsche. And you know what that led me to? Curiously enough, dear reader: confusing Fuaiz with Perth. So, yeah, you know where this is going... White and Perth's character might be related. Brothers, probably.

"All because you think they look alike?" Well, if you ignore the way I just explained how it would tie some very loose ends... Yeah, kinda. BUT, in my defence, it makes a lot of genetic sense.

See, no other characters in the show really look this much alike. Believe me, I tested it.

For this purpose, I tried many different sites but the one that seemed to give me the most reliable results was FaceShape. Most characters got no more than 10%, some even got 0% (e.g. New and Perth's Character). And you wanna know how much White and Perth's character got? Nearly 50%.

For comparison reasons, New and Non who are CANONICALLY brothers, got about 30%.

BUT, if this is not convincing enough, my sister and I (who share EXACTLY the same 2 parents) got lower than them.

(pls ignore the picture, I was trynna make it as accurate as possible so I took a front pic with a neutral expression. also, my sister is censored for privacy reasons)

Now... Will I claim this is irrefutable proof? No. Not at all, but think about it: if White and Perth are related that might maybe explain how Tee and White met. It might also explain that really weird scene in the pre-release trailer (albeit all scenes in that are rather odd) where White-

Yes, thank you, Obi-Wan. And Anakin Tee is looking up at him, as if White has more power than Tee does. Because then, it could probably mean that White knows something and is probably there to do something. What exactly? Idk, man. He could be there to ensure the group remains clueless/confused or that they remain where they need to be for things to work... Or he could be there to try and prevent stuff from happening much to the likeness of what I stated for Perth's character's case.

"Oh, but if he knows something, wouldn't he know what happened to Non? Why would he be curious to watch the recording??"

Well, not necessarily. We know Non is not communicative and that he doesn't typically share his problems with anyone (the exception being Keng, obviously, but then again, the exception confirms the rule). And sure, Keng might be more talkative but idk if he would say something if Non asked him not to. I have a feeling he probably wouldn't (since he has that weird thing JJ mentioned about how he "loves Non" and, therefore, even if he's an abuser, he doesn't perceive himself that way and wouldn't do something he actively thinks would hurt Non). So, while Perth's character would know what happened to Non while he was being held by Tee's uncle and even some things about why he is there, he probably wouldn't know the rest.

But then why would he date Tee? Well, this is a narrative so... Foils are something that can happen. Having White and his relationship with Tee be a parallel to that of Phee and Jin is not weird and, in fact, has happened in the very first episode when both couples arrive at the room where the singles are, in pairs. Therefore, it wouldn't be weird to think of White as someone who maybe also fell in love with the guy that was supposed to be a means to an end or, alternatively, and perhaps more interestingly, have White NOT be in love with him and actually succeed, unlike Phee. Thus, drawing the comparison that, while Tee and White are in a relationship, White didn't fall in love and, inversely, while Phee and Jin aren't in a relationship, Phee did fall in love.

And this would mean that all we've seen of White's fear might, in fact, be an act to throw suspicion off of him. Or even more justified because he knows exactly what's lurking in the woods... After all, why would he suddenly join Jin's goodbye party if he's not a friend of Jin's? What reason better than to tag along your boyfriend's getaway with his friends if not to protect him from the terrible consequences of his actions?

But I get it. It's an extremely convoluted theory and, in all honesty, maybe makes the show more dull and boring if it's true because... Why would they repeat this "secret brother" twist? Or the dating with second intentions trope? It could be a narrative parallel, yes, but I can also definitely see how people could point that out as uncreative or lazy writing.

Either way: these thoughts were circling around my head and, before the next episode confirms or destroys them, I wanted to get them out into the world for y'all to, maybe, hopefully, join in on the hype for it, as it's less than 24h 'till it airs. Hope in that I was successful, at the very least.

Anyway... As usual feel free to (politely) argue with me, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I missed this and that, add to it, etc... Because if there's one thing I currently love more than DFF itself, it's definitely the fandom and I want us to make the most of it!!

I'll see y'all tomorrow when we're freaking out about episode 10!!!

All the love! 💜💜💜

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theee-collector · 1 year ago

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Teen Wolf Librarian AUs

A collection of Sterek fics where one of them is a librarian (most play in a library themselves)

This is Lovecantrophy by orphan_account

12.1K | Sterek | Teen

In which Valentine's Day is closely approaching, and Derek is a disgruntled grad student who works at a library. He's hit a roadblock on his thesis, he's harboring a (not so secret) crush on Stiles, and he keeps receiving werewolf-themed gifts from a secret admirer. Basically, Derek is totally oblivious and angsty, Stiles does a lot of planning off-screen, and Erica and Scott are awesome friends who are awesome.

Unknowing First Date by gayderek

1.2k | Sterek | General

Derek doesn't share, but for some reason he lets the mystery boy sitting across from him borrow his headphones. Turns out that the Mystery Boy isn't mysterious at all. He's kind of annoying, but he's kind of cute too.

You're the piece that I just found out how to fit to by pseudofoucault333

23.2k | Sterek | Explicit

Stiles is known as the tattooed reference Librarian, the somewhat reluctant crush of most teenagers in Beacon Hills and the son of the Sheriff. Derek is the new Deputy in town who has a history of heartbreak. Will Stiles' persistence pay off to help him get Derek to trust him and will Derek finally admit to himself that not everyone looks at him and sees a pretty face?

Inside this place is warm by wolfcloaks

40k | Sterek | Explicit

Coming down; One love, two mouths Stiles Stilinski: -Senior at Berkley -Double majoring in Human Biology and Biomedical Engineering -Student Librarian -Closet Artist -Basket case extrodanaire -Hopelessly crushing on Derek Hale (read as: pining) Derek Hale: -Grad Student at Berkley -Philosophy Major -Dog enthusiast -Does not cry during The Notebook, fuck you,Laura -Is definitely not pining over the librarian with the cute moles -Would very much like to tell the librarian's curly haired boyfriend to fuck off Or Where Derek and Stiles are complete dweebs in love and jump to horribly inaccurate conclusions Or When your meet-cute turns into a bit of an (light) angst fest but it's all ok in the end

Hale's Library & Coffee Shop by scarlettletterr

3.8k | Sterek | Mature

College Student Stiles is looking for a place to work - so he can pay his bills - when his friend from class, Erica, mentions that her boss is looking for someone to help at Hale's Library and Coffee Shop. Stiles gets the job, along with a giant crush on his boss, Derek, that seems obvious to anyone but him.

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

6.1k | Sterek | General

“Hi,” Stiles said jovially with a bright smile. “How can I help you?” For a few seconds, hot, sexy guy said nothing. He just stared at Stiles like he’d never seen another human being before. Eventually, after a sufficiently long and awkward silence, hot, sexy guy had said, “I’m looking for a book.” “Sure thing!” Stiles had then waited. Because—he worked in the public library, so someone coming in asking for a book was normal, but only asking for a book with no other details was a little too vague. “Um, I’m gonna need you to be a little bit more specific,” he’d informed him. “Right.” Hot, sexy guy had looked flustered, some of his murderous aura dissipating.

Checking You Out by wherearethebreaks

7k | Sterek | General

Usually, the people who actually did come into the library used the computers. Usually, Derek could just sit at the small table behind the circulation desk and spread out his papers and get his homework done. But not that day. Oh no. No, some random guy just barged in, doors slamming loudly behind him, tripped over a display for some new books they'd gotten, and didn't sign in, (which, who doesn't know that you have to sign in during school hours?) all before running, running, into the non-fiction shelves. Who runs in the library? Who doesn't sign in? The librarian who usually had to deal with the rowdy and unruly teens that often wandered inside to talk loudly with their friends, was in the bathroom. Meaning, Derek was the one who was going to have to deal with this kid. Something he'd never really done before; therefore, didn't know how to deal with. "Uh, excuse me?" A.K.A: Derek is a library student aid and loves the peace and quiet, a quiet that is interrupted by a fellow student that Derek has to kindly deal with. To bad the guy's a total cutie that shows up the next day, and the one after that to ask him out.

You taste so bitter and so sweet by EmmisaryStilinski22

5.2k | Sterek | Not rated

Dear 402, Your two dogs woke me up every night this week at 4 am! Please silence your hounds from hell! Regards, 403

Dog Days of Summer by CarnalCoffeeBean

1.9k | Sterek | General

Beacon Hills, as it turns out, is actually boring as hell. Or, the one in which summer is boring, Derek accidentally becomes a library volunteer, Lydia and Erica get shit done, Stiles researches werewolves, and multiple people trip, stumble, and fall flat on their faces on their way towards something resembling love.

Special Collections by hannah_baker

16.4k | Sterek | Explicit

Stiles Stilinski is a senior in college working on his thesis. Derek Hale is the grumpy (though inhumanely attractive) special collections librarian. All they needed was a common interest to spark a friendship that becomes more than either of the bargained for.

Can I get Your (call) Number, baby by lielabell

4.9k | Sterek | Teen

Thing is, for the most part, Stiles's loves his job. He loves the quiet hush of the library, the way it smells like must and old books. He likes walking through the stacks, collecting books to be shelved. Likes sitting at the reference desk, hell, he even likes the fact that they still have a card catalog, even though no one ever uses it. Everything about the job is amazing. Except... Except for the music majors.

Stacking up by bravelittlesoldier

8.2k | Sterek | Teen

Stiles is working in the basement of the Library of Congress and is feeling his social skills quickly deteriorate. Then along comes a new librarian working at Circulation who is most definitely a male model. Maybe its time to start re-socializing.

Librarians Always Know What To Say by codarra

1.1k | Sterek | General

Derek comes into the library where Stiles works. A lot. Only he doesn't know Stiles' name. And he's fairly certain Stiles doesn't know Derek exists.

Baby, I'm yours by yodasyoyo

4k | Sterek | Teen

Honestly, Derek Hale didn’t think he could be surprised anymore at the things you see working behind the circulation desk of the university library. He thought he’d seen it all. There’s a guy that comes in on Thursdays that carries a kitten in his bag and thinks Derek doesn’t know. There’s another guy that comes in every other day or so to catch a nap in a secluded corner. And then there’s the couple that Derek’s had to kick out three times now for having sex in the stacks. There’s this one guy that has, by far, expanded Derek’s list of strange happenings in the library. He only knows the guy’s name because he has to come to Derek to check out his books and it shows up on the computer but it’s not actually anything Derek can pronounce so it doesn’t really help. Anyway, Unpronounceable-first-name Stilinski is always up to something.

#librarynerd by yodasyoyo

7.7k | Sterek | Teen

“I’ll likely get far more done in the group if I’m not distracted watching you with your pen--” “My--My pen?” “Pens. Drinking straws. Don’t act like you don’t know,” Derek says darkly. “You know.” ____________ In which Stiles follows Scott into his Spanish study group, takes one look at the hot nerd who runs it and then decides to stay... even though he doesn't actually speak Spanish.

Old you in the garbage(new you in display case) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

13.5k | Sterek | Teen

Stiles is lonely and desperate and suffering from a crush on the grumpiest librarian. So what’s a boy to do but cook up a ridiculous plan to get himself dated and/or finally get laid before the holidays? He just wants his She’s All That moment, okay? He never expected that the plan would actually help him get the guy.

#sterek #teen wolf #rec list #tbr

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popstart · 7 months ago

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Am I the only one who feels like the way this fandom talks about female characters is always so like???? Omg girlboss but also a girlfailure I support women’s rights AND wrongs she was robbed!!!! Idk it’s always the same few phrases lol I don’t get it.

OHHHH I AGREE SO HARD💀 seeing the same 3 phrases used to describe the female characters bc they think its a diversity win. ok.

Female character is independent or strong etc -> omg shes suuuuch a girlboss teehee🙈 step on me. other weird and annoying sexual comments bc girlbossery is sexy (or something) and thats the only appeal female characters are allowed to have for a lot of people Female character is kinda cringe sometimes and doesnt succeed at everything -> omg my silly girlfaliure girlloser shes so sillystupid i love her Female character has dimension -> omg??? shes like a girlboss and a girlfaliure at the same time???

ignoring the fact i hate so many things about tacking on the prefix girl to random shit as something that feels like a negative connotation (or something degrading), there is 0 critical thinking people have for female characters and its like. ok man. people come up with 600 random headcanons and backstory elements for every single male character they like but designate the female characters they like to "oh ummm shes a girlboss so i like her😊" AWWEEESOMEEEEE. LOVE TO SEE IT🥴

and to people that dont see that or say that doesnt happen....... it does. i see it with my own eyeballs every damn day. eg; in fanon noah has 8 (or 9? i forget) girlboss sisters and is an expert hacker and speaks 300 languages and knows everything and makes 0 mistakes and is always calculated all the time and has 20 boyfriends while in canon he got kicked out of the opportunity of 100k dollars because he was reading and hates everyone and plays video games all day and is a massive schmuck for 1 single person that being emma. sorry noah fans thats just how it is. headcanons are fine but it gets to the point where its like hey guys what are we doing here.

and ok whatever. say we all stop talking about noah bc god knows he did nothing to deserve it. where do we go from there? the amount of people i see saying they wish there was more f/f in fandom they just dont wanna write it or people that say they wish they wrote f/f more its just too hard has me :I i think it really just proves how little fanon there is for female characters. since generally fanon is what fandom bases its fanfiction and general characterization on and f/f famously contains only women, it makes sense that if its "hard" to write for f/f pairings it means that people just dont care enough about the women to make wide spread fandom interpretations of them.

and it reaaaaaally sucks. total drama has what i consider a pretty good cast of diverse female characters. And sure, a lot of the time the show doesnt do them justice (they were robbed as many many MANY people say) but a lot of them have so much potential and all of them have at least SOME potential. but ofc, due to how theyre treated in the fandom, no one really cares about them outside of them being paired up with men. and even worse, people will just straight ignore them outright a lot of the time because they 'get in the way of their mlm ship' or some bs.

am i saying its inherently misogynistic to write mlm ships? HELLLLLL no. im just saying that the heavy apathy or visceral anger many many many female characters get unless theyre paired up with a man or because they 'get in the way of' a mans love for another man is quite frankly laughable when you consider what actually goes on in the show. this shit was made for kids, these people are kids. its just so weird just how obsessed people can be with a fictional character to the point of these overblown reactions to other characters of the same god damn show

#anyways this post got kinda sidetracked from the og idea of we should let female characters have depth so remember that #LET FEMALE CHARACTERS HAVE DEPTH. if youre only capable of describing a girl with “girl(adjective)” work on your vocab and critical thinkin #i should probably have a tag for fandom misogyny but idgaf #i mean i kinda gaf but i dont wanna go back and tag everything. bleh.#i kinda just assumed no one would ever listen to me or care or whatever so ive never tagged properly #but i appreciate peoples thoughts and feelings on MY thoughts and feelings ^_^ yay :D #ask

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illfoandillfie · 11 months ago

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2023 Advent: Day 18

So, for those who don't know, I watch a lot of book related content on youtube and at the end of November I was watching someone's TBR (to be read) game she was playing to pick what she'd read next. Partway through her game she asked her partner to help her and ya'll it was highkey giving some daddy dom vibes. So of course I had to write a blurb about it.

Big thanks to Lauren for helping me decide on Jack for this one.

Warnings: daddy kink, dom!Jack, sub!Reader, onlyfans, thumb sucking (not in a baby way), a lil degradation/humiliation, nothing especially explicit but references to bondage/sex toys/kink exploration/sex tapes/spanking/general kink stuff.

When you’d started making video content about books and what you were reading, you’d not expected it to end up the way it had. On OnlyFans. You’d had Youtube in mind, inspired by the people you followed there who reviewed new releases and the like. But Youtube had been harder to crack into than you’d expected and you had to be careful with how you spoke about certain topics or else your videos would be removed. Not ideal when spicy romance novels were your thing. In fact, it was after a video you’d made comparing language in a few different romance novels had been taken down, you facetiously told your boyfriend, Jack, you’d be better off posting on OnlyFans and then somehow it had stopped being a joke and you’d actually done it. And, to your surprise, got yourself something of a following.

Your account had evolved a little since then. You still did the book reviews and chatted about what you were reading and upcoming releases that interested you. But you’d branched out a bit too. Now you also got your kit off. There were a handful of video demonstrations of literature themed sex toys like dragon dildos (perhaps a stretch to call literary) and the 50 Shades of Grey branded bondage equipment. You’d read books out loud whilst sitting on vibrators, modelled lingerie based on fictional characters, and discussed not only erotica fiction but also nonfiction about sexuality and kink. The overall theme of your content was smart is sexy and to emphasise it you always tried to dress the part, even when you were just talking to the camera, in an exaggeratedly sexy school uniform – microskirt, knee high socks, pigtails. Your dream was to be able to film something in an actual library or bookstore.

Jack helped out and encouraged you. Mostly he stayed behind the scenes, helping with filming and lighting and even editing sometimes. But he also came in handy when you were making the more typically OnlyFans type content. There were videos where you recreated sex scenes from books, testing if the positions described were as easy to achieve as the novels would have you believe, and recently, you’d begun a weekly series going through The Art of Sex chapter by chapter. You’d give a brief run down on whatever position or kink the chapter of the week explored and then perform the act with Jack’s help. You weren’t quite sure what you were going to do when you reached the chapter on swinging but you were sure Jack would have an idea or two. Perhaps a role playing scene.

One of your first series and one of your most innocent was your monthly TBR game. It was a concept taken straight from youtube. At the end of each month you posted a video where you’d draw out random prompts from a jar to help decide what books you’d read the next month. You filmed it sitting on the floor with a pastel pink cart full of books beside you, though of course wearing the sexy schoolgirl outfit. You opened the video discussing the books you’d read from the last TBR list. For every book you didn’t read, you earned five spanks which Jack was only too happy to give you. He hovered behind the camera waiting for his moment. Typically after that he wouldn’t appear in the video again. But, every so often, you needed his help.

This time the prompt was too broad, and you were overwhelmed by choices. You sat there staring at your cart for much longer than you usually would, unsure what book to officially pick. It didn’t help that it was the first prompt of the video. You couldn’t even begin to guess what other prompts you might draw or which titles you might pick later. Jack normally only got to choose your books when the “Daddy’s pick” prompt was drawn but you decided this was a special occasion. “Daddy,” you said, pushing yourself to your knees and looking at Jack who was standing to the side. He adjusted the camera subtly to keep you framed nicely, “Do you need something darlin’?” There was something about how he interacted with you during filming that made you switch into submissive mode. His tone of voice was so authoritative, and he was always fully dressed whilst you were so exposed and on the floor looking up at him. It made you go all little girly. “Which should I choose Daddy?” Jack hummed and, to your surprise, stepped in front of the camera as he walked towards you. It made you tilt your head back further to see him and he took advantage of your position, stroking your cheek gently before laying his thumb against your lips. It was second nature to draw it between your lips and suck as Jack hummed in thought. “Pretty ironic that you tell everyone smart is sexy when you go completely stupid when you’re horny. Bet if I touched you now you’d be all wet from thinking about all these filthy books you read.” Jack examined the three books you’d pulled off your cart, his thumb still between your lips. Finally he tapped your cheek so you’d release him, bent over and picked up his choice. “I’ve decided to be nice and pick this one for you because I know it’ll be useful for a video you’re planning.” You clapped excitedly, “I’d totally forgotten that Daddy, thank you!” Jack chuckled, “Anytime darlin’,” He bent over to give you a small kiss before striding back behind the camera, “No go ahead and finish your game.”

#my writing #my blurbs #blurb advent 2023 #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels smut #agent whiskey smut #jack daniels imagine #agent whiskey imagine

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i-arch-my-backula · 2 years ago

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Headcannons for Eddie Munson with a male s/o

Ok I know my followers are here for slashers and things like that I get it. But my love for fictional men is too strong to keep me tied to one fandom. Yes I will still post about slashers, yes I will post about men in stranger things too. The thing is I’m in love with this man and I want to be gay boyfriends with him. Also this will get me out of my writers block with fun new people to write for. Sorry about the rant I just need to talk to someone and this is my blog so you have to suck it up.

He knew he was into guys before but you really hit him hard. He’s seen you around school and being how he is walked right up and started talking with you.

Warnings: Minor reference to drugs

He’s gonna be very flirty and love however you respond. You’re gonna get shy and giggly? Super cute. You’re gonna flirt right back with him? He loves a confident man.

Before he really lets you know how he feels he’s gonna make sure to see if you’d feel the same way. Get ready for hints being dropped about him being gay like watching nightmare on elm street 2 a very gay movie. He might leave out magazines with skantaly clad men for you to find. If you let him know you’re into dudes too he’ll move on with the flirting. If it’s taking to long he’ll just tell you he’s bi and ask you if you’re into dudes.

Your first kiss is gonna get him really excited to kiss you again. Despite his extroverted exterior he’s really giggly inside. If you go to kiss him again he’s going all in man, I promise.

Once you two are really dating he’s gonna try to get you into dnd with him. He’ll teach you how to play and help you make your character and everything. If you do go play he’ll like to show you off and have you sit near him or if you’re comfortable with everyone knowing you can sit on his lap.

He’ll make sure that when you’re around he doesn’t smell like weed or trash. He’ll make sure he looks nice for you whenever you are around.

He’ll write a little secret song about you and sing it to you if you ask nicely.

Pet name. So many pet names. Darling, love, baby, sweetheart, pretty boy. He has a very long list he can go off of for you honey.

He adores pda, around safe people of course. But he’ll make sure to keep you close in public. Nothing to get you two in trouble but enough to let people know you’re “Close friends” “roommates” “Boy best friends” ya know.

As for his favorite pda, having you sit on his lap, kissing, you playing with his rings, playing with his hair, holding hands and just well being a bit possessive. But if you ask him to cool it he will.

He’s gonna try to get you to listen to metal he likes. If you do get into it and ask about other bands he’ll gladly take you to buy some casettes or records.

If you need a ride anywhere he’ll take you there. No questions asked. Just call him up and he’ll take you there don’t worry.

If people get suspisious about the relationship the two of you have he’ll quickly your defense. No one messes with his pretty boy.

He loves to cuddle and being the big spoon. He just likes holding you and having you close to him in general.

He’s gonna give you a bunch of random gifts that have a lot of meaning to him. A necklace with one of his guitar picks on it, one of his favorite die from dnd, an old ring of his that doesn’t fit anymore. Whatever he thinks you deserve he’ll give it to you. If you asked him to stop the earths rotation he’ll find a way to stop it for you.

He’s not gonna be the best to go to with emotions. He’ll hold you when you cry and listen to you vent but he won’t know how to really fully help you and that really hurts him. Don’t be surprised if you find him reading psychology books or how to comfort someone if he notices you’re really going through it.

#eddie munson #eddie x male reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x male reader #stranger things

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thesquareinthecircularhole · 4 years ago

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hey stupid, i love you [MCYT: Dream x GN!Reader]

song: hey stupid I love you by jp saxe

warnings: fluff

im pretty sure i made this an gender neutral as possible but if there is an error lmk thanks bby :*

im in a simpin mood bby

as always, song lyrics in italics

i skipped a couple versus due to repetitiveness oops

this is the one i complained about losing, but it actually worked out bc i like this one better...less wordy

word count: ~2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing's wrong, and it's not what I'm used to Oh, does it surprise you too? When it's simple, is it easier than it should be?

"Hey babe, are you okay? You've been quiet today," Dream practically pouted as he asked you. He loved the sound of your voice and while you definitely weren't giving him the quiet treatment, you sure weren't as talkative as you normally are.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just distracted thinking my thoughts." You smiled at him and leaned against him. He looked down at you and pecked your lips. You gave him a sweet kiss back. The smile he gave you made your heart boom. Loving him was as easy as eating a cake (because the usually analogy 'baking a cake' isn't true, its sometimes hard to bake a cake, especially when a hungry streamer keeps trying to eat the batter or start a flour fight).

"Anyway, don't you have a stream with the Dream Team to get ready for? One that starts in," you look at the clock on your phone, "three minutes ago?" The slight panic that crosses Dream's face makes you laugh loud. He gives you another kiss and in less than five seconds has practically launched himself across the house into his recording room. Your laughter follows him the whole way, a smile and blush upon his face.

Nothing's wrong, but when you're not in my arms I send voice notes, you send hearts And get quiet, and I know that means you miss me

Okay, granted, you were the one to remind him that he was streaming with his friends today and speedrunning, but you didn't expect it to last well over five hours. At the beginning you worked on your classwork for your [college degree of choice]. You got it done quickly, as it was nearing the end of the semester and most professors of yours were laidback and wanted you to study more than write nonsense papers (fictional you, i'm so jealous). Occasionally you would jump in fear when you heard Dream shout, still not used to it after years.

After finishing your classwork, you started cooking dinner. Soup was the vibe for the evening, and you had found a wonderful chicken and dumplings recipe a while ago that you wanted to try. You did have to go to the store for some of the ingredients, but luckily it only took you an hour. You can back and he was still streaming. It took about another hour for dinner to be done. You let it cool and prepared yourself a bowl. You set your laptop up and started watching Dream's stream. Hearing his voice made you miss him, so you pulled out your phone.

Going to the two of y'alls messages, you started making him a voice message.

"Hey baby, I made dinner, so don't play so long it gets cold. I love you! Kick the enderdragon's ass baby! Mwah."

You continued watching him stream, and he took a pause for a minute, his screen not moving from the create a new world screen and his mic muted. A couple seconds later you got spammed with every heart offered in the emoji index times what felt like a thousand.

He continued being quiet for a couple seconds, although he did unmute and continue playing, answering George's and Sapnap's questions of where he went with, "I had to take a message."

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Chat sometimes upset you. Sure, you got Dream, all of him, but sometimes the comments made by some of the more obsessives fans were a bit to much.

'With the way he killed those mobs you know he's got good fingers'

'His voice is hot so he must be'

'Heyo dream baby lemme see them feet'

Okay the last one was more weird, and actually turned out to be a joke from Quackity but anyway moving on.

He was your guy, and he promised himself to you, but sometimes he seemed to have a genuine connection with some of the sweeter and not gross ones. It made you scared that someone, one day, will swoop him off his feet with a comment and he’d leave you for them.

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes, get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

The stream ended a little under an hour later. Dream left his recording room, grabbed a bowl of soup, and found you in the living room, lost in thought. He plopped down right next to you.

“Talk to me baby.”

“About what?”

“Anything and everything.”

“Okay.” You’re quiet for a bit, despite his offering of listening. He knew you were gonna take him up on the offer, you just needed a bit of time, so he was going to wait patiently. He finished his soup quickly, he was much hungrier than he thought. He put the bowl on the coffee table and before he was all the way leaned back on the couch, you were leaning against him. His arms wrapped around you, your head was tucked in between his head and shoulder, and a blanket covered the both of you. You looked towards the blank tv screen but felt his eyes on you.

“I love you a lot. And I know you love me too, but I’m afraid I’m not enough. You have so many options, especially with your popularity online. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me, whether it be for someone else or just because you’re tired of me.” Dream waits for you to stop entirely, with you breathing heavily.

“Well, you’re right about one thing. I do love you, a lot. The rest of it is wrong and I’ll spend the rest of time telling you so.” Dream says, pressing several kisses against your forehead.

“Yeah I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but my anxiety gets the best of me. It’s stupid, I’m stupid.”

“First of all, you’re not stupid. Second, hey stupid, I love you.”

Nothing's wrong, I just get in my head too Can you reassure me you, you're still in it? I just wish you could lean in and kiss me

As much as Dream loved you and reassured you, sometimes he would get caught up in his thoughts too. The life of a streamer/youtuber, especially one with as much fame and subscribers as him, was rough. The constant need to feed his fans with entertainment and content, and the need for the content to satisfy his fans was stressful. He hates to admit it, but he some days he spent to much time working and not enough with you. He thinks you would be so much happier with someone without a tight schedule and without a large, intense fanbase. Any random person on the street would be better for you than him, he thinks.

When he gets into this headspace, the only thing that grounds him is your lips on his. When you kiss him, the clouds go away and all he can see is your eyes, as bright as the sun, and your smile, which can tempt even the purest.

Say nothing's wrong, tell me to settle down You do it better than I've ever known how Won't pull some tricks for attention But could I get a little now?

Now, everyone knows that Dream likes some attention. He especially likes attention from you. Good thing is you also like attention, especially from him. The not so good thing is both of y’all get distracted so bad, it’s almost too funny.

He tends to get your attention by tickling you, whether it be in the comfort of your home or in public. One day, when you guys were walking through town, you stopped at a flower booth and got to talking with the friendly and flirty florist gentleman. It had been a couple minutes, and Dream was really needing some love, but you continued chatting with the florist who was definitely going to ask for your number but you genuinely thought he was just being nice. Dream crept up behind you and placed his hands on your side. You froze for a moment and looked at him, confused. The smirk that crossed his face barely gave you a second to prepare as he tickled your sides. Your laughter filled the street as you turned around as he tickled you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, which got him to stop ticking you, and gave him a kiss. The two of you continued on your way, attached at the hip.

And one day, when you wanted his attention, it was after he was done recording a manhunt with his friends. The actual video had been done for a bit, but they were just fucking around in the minecraft world and talking to each other. You had had a not so nice day, and wanted the crushing weight of your boyfriend on top of you. You crept into his recording room and came to stand right behind his chair. Based on the conversation you could tell he wasn’t recording anymore, so you knew it was safe. Your hands started in his hair, trailed down to his face, and slid down his body till your arms were wrapped around him snuggly. Your head was placed on top of his.

“What are you doing?” he asked, and received no response. Instead, you began aggressively shaking him and the chair, turning it this way and that, making him slightly dizzy. His laughter filled the room, and he quickly ended the call. The two of you spent the next 12 hours cuddled in bed, leaving only for the necessities.

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Dream got jealous as well sometimes. You were beautiful and a lot of the time attracted the attention of random passerbyers. Those people, who you don’t even know, who lived normal lives where they didn’t have to spend every second worried that their face will be revealed to the public and suddenly all their fans from around the world will know what they look like or the general area in which they live, who don’t have to obey algorithms and bend to the will of the masses to make sure they get paid enough to live, who could give you a normal and safe life. Every time one looked at you with some attraction, he pulled you a bit closer and kissed you a bit harder.

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes or get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

Sometimes, Dream needed to rant. A long, hard, intense, rant. Sometimes it was about how someone accused him of cheating his speedruns. Sometimes it was about how someone said something nasty to him or one of his friends. Sometimes it was about a comment someone made about him or you that got on his nerves. When he needed to talk, you sat there and you listened. You did whatever he needed to get better, whether it was just listen or talk to find solutions. You did it because you know he would do the same for you. And afterwards, a cuddle session was a must.

How could you forget? I told you seventeen times before 7 AM I love you How could you forget? I told you seventeen times

The morning after rough days were one of the bests. Arms tangled together, legs tangled together, everything tangled together, no one able to tell where one started and the other ended. Lazy kisses pressed to faces, hands, necks, any part of skin the lips could touch. One particular morning you woke up earlier than he did. A quick kiss against his cheek woke him up, and he gave you the most love filled smile any man could do.

“Hey stupid,” you said, “I love you.”

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #fluff #songfic

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.

February 7, 2021.

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time.

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me.

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook.

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after.

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now.

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs.

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off.

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression.

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn.

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts.

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews.

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit.

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life.

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life.

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people.

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project:

@faerielleart I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more.

@ariadneamare YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12 I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.)

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art,

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #lyf #life post

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divinefireangel · 4 years ago

Text

Justin H Min as your boyfriend:

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's note: Hi! I'm Sush. I'm new to the whole writing thing so please lmk if there are any suggestions or criticisms. I readily welcome them. Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. That said, I hope you like my first HC! Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: None. I tried making it fluffy but not sure. All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader).

Justin H Min is the literal sweetest, most sincere human being on this planet whom we deffo do not deserve

He always has your back

Support system to the ends of the earth

He just knows what to do when you are down

When you can't sleep, he will read a passage from your favorite book, cuz his voice is soothing like an Angel's

Kudos if you like books too because you both are gonna obsess over your fav authors and books and characters

Him definitely getting jealous if a fictional character that you like a little too much you know what I mean 👀

Cuddle monster™

He cannot go an hour without cuddling you, if you are in the same room

King of cheek kisses

King of forehead kisses

King of hand kisses

KING OF YOUR FUCKING HEART

When you are down he will do anything just to see you smile

Although if nothing is working, he will try and talk to you and give you reassurance that everything is going to be okay

And you believe it because it's coming from him

He seems like a guy who plans dates that are genuinly well thought

And gifts that you did not know you needed until he gave them to you

Needless to say you were shocked to get it because you fucking loved it even if you had no idea what it was lol

He wears cologne (ily if you get this hehe)

Stealing his beanies when you have to go out or when you are cold

Stealing his eyewear collection, we know it is amazing

Stealing his jackets and hoodies and his amazing patterned shirts

Him loving you in his clothes because you is baby

He's very attentive of the little things

Especially the ones you are insecure about

Tells you that he loves them, even more if you don't like them

And he really does love your little quirks

Thinks you are cute

That's it

Just cute

No other adjective to describe you

Probably not that great at cooking 😂😂

Loves your cooking even if it's kinda bad

You can't stare at him for too long

He is just that beautiful

God knows I can't

Gives the best hugs

Sways when hugging you cuz that's just uwu

Bear hugs mostly

Loves putting his face in your neck cuz 'it's warm'

Not much of a dancer but will try and slow dance with you

But you both end up stepping on each other's feet and stop because you're laughing too much

Sending memes to each other

Sending quotes and small poems or snippets that remind you of the other

Him writing small poems for you about you

You try to write them for him and he just gets teary eyed becuz he did not expect you to

He takes random pictures of you

On his phone, on his disposable camera, on his film camera, e v e r y t h i n g

Has a pic of you as his home screen

And a pic of you in his wallet

You taking pics of him when he lookis squishy

Which, not so shockingly, is always

Gets you matching clothes that you can wear at home mostly

Matching socks

Matching beanies

Matching pj's

Loves coordinating your clothes when you have to go out

Takes tons of selfies in said clothes

'Babe please, for Instagram'

Calls you so many nicknames

Babe, honey, hun, love, dove, sweets, sweetheart, bb, matey (soulmate) as a joke

A few cute names in Korean too (I don't know Korean and I do not trust google, but if you do know, tell me so I can add)

Tries teaching you small sentences in Korean

And you teach him some in your mother tongue (if you are bilingual)

Both of you feeling loved and content with each other

He doesn't get jealous at all of real people

He trusts you and would give you his heart and soul

Loves loves loves holding your hand in public

Connecting your pinkies if you are strolling

Going on museum dates a lot

Him saying cheesey things like 'You are the only art I wanna stare at' & 'Your beauty deserves a museum bigger than this'

And it's working surprisingly because you are a blushing mess

Calling him Justy

Idk why but it makes me giggle when I imagine it

Nonstop texting and daily FaceTime when he has to work or whenever you two are apart

Even if it's for a day

Nonstop texting otherwise as well

Him misplacing the simplest things and you having to find them with him

Talking at 3 am or when you can't sleep due to anxiety or insomnia

Talking about the universe

About your past life

About things you like

About your future.

He makes you tea or coffee or your beverage of choice when you are busy or sad or inconvenienced in the slightest sense

Helps you choose outfits

I mean..... He does have a great fashion sense

Making him smile by doing and saying stupid things

He is actually very wise

Gives great advice on stuff in general

Peak squishy fluffy boyfriend when he is tired

Tired Justy needs attention and kisses and snuggles because cuddles just don't work

Loves running his hands through you hair, over your shoulders and back and abdomen and arms and butt

Let's you sleep on his hand, his shoulder, his chest, his lap, all over him

Listens to you when you bitch about people you don't like

But he really doesn't because he is observing you and falling for you

Mostly gets the falling for you feeling when you aren't actually doing adorable things intentionally

He doesn't even breathe in another person's direction because the only person he needs is you

Just you

Just you and him

In your own sweet small bubble

Living in the world with each other

Because at the end of the day

All you need is each other.

Gifs/any media belong to the owners who made them.

#justin h min #justin min #justin hongkee min #justin min imagine #justin min headcanon #justin min x reader #the umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #bentacles #ben hargreeves x reader #justin min x you #ben hargreeves imagine #sorry for tagging ben #pls work tags #justin min fluff #headcanon #tua cast imagine

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

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Hi, I love your blog! Can I request a cake, if you’re still doing them? It’s fine if you’re not though.

If you are, can you do it for a boy? I’m generally considered tall (I’m 5’7”) and I have really curly brown hair with green eyes and really pale skin. I’m Irish-American and I’m an Aries. My hobbies are; photography, reading thriller or historical fiction novels, writing fanfiction, and listening to music (specifically punk rock or really obnoxiously loud Irish rock). I’m quite shy when it comes to new situations or places and I have an anxiety disorder, so I’m usually quite anxious and generally considered quiet (which makes my music choices ironic). Before people get to know me, people think I’m a b*tch or that I’m cold because I tend to stick with the same people and not generally talk to others unless I’m forced. Even my friends have said they thought I was mean before they actually met me. I can be pessimistic at times, but I care about the people I’m really close with and I’ll defend them no matter the situation. I can be annoying, I overthink everything, and I am insecure about literally anything and everything about myself (from my body to my writing)

I’m generally considered one of the smarter ones in my friend group, usually my friends come to me when it comes to writing essays or having to read a book for class, since I’m good at analyzing things. I’m the friend that usually everyone tries to protect from things, from fear that I might “break” or something like that, which can be annoying but I know it means that they care. Though I would prefer that people be straight forward and honest with me instead of walk on eggshells or keep secrets, because contrary to popular belief, I can defend myself just fine. My friends say I have a hard time letting people in since I don’t want to end up hurt, so I have a tendency to keep people at arms length because I’m afraid to have my heart broken.

I don’t know if that’s enough information or if I over-shared (I have a tendency to do that), but if you are still accepting these kinds of requests, I hope this is enough.

🍰 for @lifewouldbebetteronmars

Hello my Aries sister!!!!

Romantic Matchup

Tsukishima Kei

How yall met

Ok be prepared to be shocked

But Tsukki needed a tutor

He was having a difficult time understanding the new topic they were doing in class

So the teacher recommended you as a partial tutor

At first he didn't really like you

It really wasn't anything you did

He just hated that he needed someone else's help

And he was kinda embarrassed about it

But as time went on he started to warm up to you

Some could even say he looked forward to your tutoring sessions

So when he didn't need you to teach him anymore

He tried to find excuses to hang out with you

He's just too prideful to say that he likes you and wants to hang out with you

And even though you knew that was probably the case

You didn't want to call him out like that

So you would just hang out with him whenever you could

And the bond between you two grew with every passing day

And eventually you guys started dating

What they love about you

He loves how intelligent you are

Tsukki is pretty smart himself

So if he thinks that your smart

Bb you're a genius

And although he resented your smarts when he first met you

He's come to realize it's one of your most admirable traits

He loves how you care so deeply for your loved ones

He knows you would do anything and everything for him

But he also knows you would do the same thing when it comes to any of your friends and family

Like he's literally seen you telling off somebody for picking on one of your friends

He made a mental note to be careful who he picks on that day

He loves how straightforward you are

Ok so this is Tsukki were talking about

He doesn't really like overcomplicated people or people he can't understand

And you are anything but that

Tsukki can read you like a book

Maybe its because hes spent a lot of time with you

Maybe it's because he pays more attention to you than other people

The world may never know

What you love about them

You love how he doesnt try to “protect you”

Now don't get me wrong

Tsukki would take a bullet for you if it ever came down to it

But he knows for the most part you can take care of yourself

So unless you specifically ask for help hell leave you be

You love that he understands your limitations

Tsukki knows you have anxiety

So he tries to make social exchanges as comfortable as possible

If he notices that your uncomfortable talking to someone

He’ll swoop in and remove you from the situation

However...

He tries to get you to step out of your comfort zone from time to time

He knows just as well as you do that being social is just apart of life

And he doesn't want you do always be dependent on him when it comes to being social

So he just gives you little nudges

Until eventually its like your anxiety never even existed

Favorite things to do together

STUDY DATES!!!!!!

Ahem anyways

Mans loves to have a good study date with you

It's really just you two doing homework and reading together

But he loves those little intimate moments with you

Late night walks

You guys take late night walks ALL the time

Once again it's nothing more than just walking round and listening to music

But Tsukki finds comfort in your presence during these times

Random Hc

The team was very very shocked when they found out you were Tsukkis gf

Like Tsukki + a relationship = error

Definitely got bombarded with questions when you met the team

He keeps some of the photos you've taken in a little box in his room

He proofreads all of your fanfics

One time it was your turn to pick the music for a study date

He was very shocked when hard core irish rock started playing…

When you guys first met there were a lot of moments when you just stared at eachother like

Because you didn't know how to talk to each other

Sometimes he acts like he doesn't know something just so he can be around you

Astrology

Aries + Libra

Compatibility 62%

However difficult it might be to reconcile these two natures, remember that this is a primal opposition that represents partners by signification.

Aries and Libra are the couple of the zodiac, as much as any other opposing signs, for they are each other’s seventh house, house of relationships.

Even more so if we acknowledge the fact that Libra is the sign of relationships in general.

Any problem they might have with each other is something to be worked on, because it shows what their personal problem with any relationship is.

When they are madly attracted to each other and fall in love, there is almost nothing that could separate them, no matter the differences.

Wouldn’t we all like to find the middle ground with our loved one? They need to work on their bond, that’s a fact, but their relationship is a promise of a perfect fit of two souls meant to be together.

Friendship Matchup

Tendou Satori

How yall met

You guys have been friends since middle school

You saw how other people treated him and you just didn't think it was right

So you befriended him!

You guys were attached at the hip all throughout middle school

Then he left for highschool while you stayed in middle school

Then when it was your turn to go to high school you had went to karasuno

So you guys lost touch

But then one day you saw a familiar head of red hair at one of your boyfriends matches…

It was Satori!

You were so excited to see him again that you practically sprinted over to him to reunite

He was so happy to see you again!

Ngl the entire Karasuno team was very confused on how you knew the guess monster of Shiratorizawa

Why you became friends

Like I said you saw how people treated him all throughout middle school…

So even though you were 2 years younger than him

You decided to befriend him

He was shocked by your kindness

And honestly a little hesitant

It wouldn't be the first time someone pretended to be his friend just to stab him in the back later

But for some reason he thought you were different

So he became friends with you

He was super sad when he lost contact with you :(

He always thought about how you were doing

But hey fate decided to bring you two together again

And it was like nothing changed

You both still had the same strong connection you had way back in middle school

What yall love about each other

He loves how out there you can be

Like there was a time where you two just blasted music in a park and just were dancing and vibing

He loves how your able to channel your creativity into your photography

He compliments every picture you take

Even if it's not a good one

He loves that how you look vs how you act are two totally different things

He won't lie to you you definitely have RBF Syndrome

(resting bitch face syndrome)

It almost reminds him how ushiwaka looks

But the difference is behind you rbf is a generally warm person

You love how fun Satori is!

Moments with him are always filled with laughs

Never a dull moment with that one

You love that he does not allow what others say get to him

Oh and on the days they do

Your right there to pick him back up and get him back to normal

Overall you guys love that you can depend on each other

Random Hc

Tsukki felt a little intimidated when he found out satori was your friend

Their rivalry during their game may or may not have had something to do with you…

You guys had homemade friendship bracelets as kids

And he kept his in his room even after you lost touch

Ironically enough he WILL NOT allow you to be insecure

He's like Insecurities we don't know her ❤️

Astrology

Aries + Libra

A friendship between an Aries and a Libra brings in the inherent polarity of the Zodiac itself.

The constellations of Aries and Libra lie opposite to each other in the Zodiac, at an angle of 180 degrees between them.

This polarity is displayed in their characteristic traits as well. Each sign has qualities that the other sign lacks.

Add to it the fact that Librans have a natural desire to be harmonious, and Aries and Libra form a relationship of great equilibrium.

The polarity of Aries and Libra could be described as self versus other.

But the differences go much further than that. Aries are impulsive, excitable, and willing to jump into things immediately.

Libra are indecisive, peace loving, and prefer a calm, quiet view of everything.

Star signs with opposite polarity often share a zealous relationship with each other.

In general, polar alliances turn out awesome when they are good, but rather challenging when they are bad.

Polarities could twist and knot together if the signs didn’t understand each other well.

However, Aries and Libra are a well balanced pair.

Libra are charming, well cultured, and have pleasing manners that could compensate for the brazen nature of Aries.

On the other hand, Aries are strong willed and decisive, which could compensate for the irresolute nature of Libra.

Aries could help Libra reach resolutions more easily and make them more spontaneous.

Libra could, at times, show Aries that they are not always as right as they think they are.

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tendou headcanon #tendou x y/n #tendou hcs #tendou satori

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queeraak · 3 years ago

Text

fucked up and accidentally deleted an ask but i got it so here (splitting this into two posts)

(sho)

Sexuality Headcanon: this is just me wishing since he probably doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body but i could see him being gay or bi or pan what i can i say Gender Headcanon: i mostly see him as a cis dude but i doubt he gives any shit about it. also trans sho believers i respect you so much A ship I have with said character: nothing like i said he has not a romantic inclination towards anyone in canon and he doesn’t need it he simply does not get bitches (despite being the hottest character in either game) A BROTP I have with said character: him and coco it’s so funny. hey guy i reanimated off of the street you need to spend time with me and buy me things or else. platonic flopbing A NOTP I have with said character: i really hate sh/onagi honestly i don’t like characters that are like obsessively into someone else to the point of it being creepy, stop being toko fukawa. also she doesn’t even actually like him? she is obsessed with him bc he looks like a fictional character she loves, not because he is him. A random headcanon: if someone ever told him he was a catboy or noticed it in the game he would get VERY mad and it would be very funny. also i think when hanekoma comes back eventually he’s gonna actually want to talk to him and stuff i like their relationship a lot man i miss hanekoma General Opinion over said character: sho please cosplay snake with me and i’ll cosplay otacon and people will have romantic opinions about us despite it being dubious in canon i can be your tiny confidant boyfriend. i’m not a furry, but

#seth.txt #twewy #ask #sho minamimoto #senselesskilling

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madmadmilk · 4 years ago

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tbh no offense but your post about white male centric media thing is kind of weird? i feel like it's super hypocritical bc you literally have a blog that predominantly writes about a white male actor in modern day settings (unlike mcu, star wars, and stranger things which are sci-fi).

also, like, does it make you feel "better" not being into predominantly white media and why? bc i see a lot of ppl on tumblr nowadays who are like "oh i'm into kpop (or any other poc artists/actors) now, thank god i stop liking *insert white artist/actor*" which just screams "i'm better than u bc i don't like white ppl". i mean i get it if these white ppl are problematic but most of them are not so i don't get why ppl do that??

🤷🏻‍♀️ lol again, i wasn’t gonna answer this cos i don’t wanna ‘be negative’ on ur feeds but lemme just clarify what i meant in > the post in question. < lol you’re confusing the context of what i said.

first, i’m not offended by this. ppl are entitled to watch (or not watch) what they please, just as i am not obligated to watch every lil thing a pretty white boy is in. i already said it in the original post, but i don’t feel like sitting through a white male struggle movie, written by white men for a white (male) audience. that’s it lol, there’s no need to poke more at that. if you enjoy it, good for you! but not every film is going to b relevant to YOU.

and just to help ya understand, here are some ‘critically acclaimed and recognizable’ movies/shows/series i simply do not care about:

Recent Oscar Noms like: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Marriage Story, Ford V. Ferrari

lmao actually, all Quentin Tarantino movies make me queasy, i,.e. Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill etc.

The Revenant and ‘bros in the wild’ stuff like that

La La Land

The Wolf of Wall Street

any movie set in like medieval europe & centers around a king

and while growing up, Pretty Little Liars, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, The Hunger Games series, The Divergent series, The Maze Runner series, Teen Wolf series –– i feel nothing towards them

it took my boyfriend A LOT of coaxing to get me to even start watching Marvel Movies, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones

lol and i’ve never seen a lot of “famous american christmas classics”

lol keep in mind i’m like a lil filipino girl in america. admittedly, i’m pick and sensitive and i didn’t care much about movies growing up but now i have so much enthusiasm and love to give!! it’s just that sometimes some stories just do not resonate or reach out to you. i’ve really only felt seen by movies a handful of times. I know not every movie is going to have a version of “me” in it, but..... i’m also not going to sit and watch stuff i don’t care about.

now about fanfic: >>> not necessarily an ‘exception to the rule’ but, fantasy and fiction are usually fair and fine. a lot of fanfiction (i read/write) is written by women, people of color, of varied sexualities, of different identities, of diverse personalities–– that’s The Distinction. that’s already a drastic change of perspective, consideration, and understanding from mainstream hollywood. i’m literally here rn stomping my foot thinking about a milllion shitty action movie ‘hero-gets-the-girl™’ plotlines that are just absolute shit to me, because it lacks a certain touch. but to each their own~

and lol if you’re trying to apply that stereotype & generalization to me–– you don’t know or understand me at all. lol which is fair, we’re just two randoms on the internet but–– where the hell did i ever give you that impression? i simply said i’m not interested in most white-male-centric films. i’m passive towards them, not hateful, critical, and often pay it no mind. i just felt like saying it that day lol.

TBH, u need to look inside yourself if you feel offended by ppl saying “i like kpop, glad i dropped x-actor.” their transition of enjoyment shouldn’t mean anything to you, no matter how heavy-handed they do it. i don’t really condone ‘celebrity/media’ bashing, because it’s a waste of time but–– don’t take it personally lmao. if you perceive it as “i'm better than u bc i don't like white ppl” instead of “i’ve branched out and chosen to support POC music, actors, & media” then................ . .. . . .. .. . .. .... .. . .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. . 🤷🏻‍♀️

we watch and support different movies and media because they make us feel something. we all have different tastes. enjoy what you enjoy, and just skip over things you don’t care about. don’t take someone’s differing opinions to heart, and if they make u upset lol just unfollow them. that’s it 👏🏼👏🏼.

#Anonymous #lol does this make sense #personal #madmadmilk #madwatch #long post

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firewoodfigs · 4 years ago

Text

(long post, but I’m gonna try and make journalling a thing in 2021 😆)

The first day of the new year was nice. :) I woke up to the sounds of rain crashing against my windowsills - a strangely chilly morning in this tropical country where it’s summer all year round. For a moment it felt like I was back in Canada again, all cloudy grey skies and whimsical rain - the perfect weather for introspection.

I started my day with a pot of hot green tea, then settled down by my reading lamp to finish a book that I’ve been putting off for far too long - Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I only had about forty pages left, but somehow couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I hate when books end because it feels like that little world I’ve created and compartmentalised in my head has likewise ceased, but the good thing about books is that you can always re-read them and immerse yourself in the same fantasy. (Maybe even a different one, if the same words lend themselves to a different interpretation!) But it truly was an absolute masterpiece: such a stunning, intricate exploration of humanity that tugged at my heartstrings and led me into still waters of reflection. I know that I will definitely carry this tale in my heart for a long, long time to come.

Afterwards, I had some instant ramen while watching The Queen’s Gambit. I’m not a big fan of watching shows usually because I often feel like they move too slowly or tend to miss details from the book, but this one is pretty exceptional. Like, the acting and the artistic direction are incredible - the constant juxtaposition between Beth’s traumatic past and her glorified present, and the exploration of the fallibility of genius were executed so brilliantly. Another thing that really stood out to me were the scenes where she’d hole herself in the toilet and rebuke herself aloud for weaknesses in her play and/or being weak, in general. I cannot begin to explain how many times I’ve done that to myself in law school for even the most trivial of infractions, the most minor of errors - Lord knows I’m my harshest critic.

I promised to try, however, to be a little bit kinder to myself in 2021. My perfectionism tends to be a bar to goodness and growth because sometimes I get so afraid that my subconscious keeps demanding that my first draft has to be perfect. But it really doesn’t. That’s what editing is for. And writing, like any other talents and passions, requires nurturing and constant practice. I saw a quote yesterday about how we cannot just sit around and magically expect to be Faulkners overnight, and that is so true. I definitely need to find a sweet spot where I’m not berating myself to the point of giving up, but still demand growth so that I can keep bettering myself.

In the evening I headed out to a friend’s for tacos, which were an absolute delight in itself. And then my bf and I got to walk his dog, who I am convinced is the most precious thing in the entire universe - maybe even more so than my bf himself (I kid... or maybe not) - and who is just such a gentle-natured darling. It began to drizzle, so she led us home and we spent the rest of the night playing Sherlock and Among Us with the rest. :) It was a very peaceful evening. For a moment I’d forgotten all about the fact that I start work next Monday and was simply content to bask in the Christmas lights, the heavy downpour and the anomalous chill that came along with it. Just... living in the present, enjoying the moment.

Now that’s definitely something else on my to-do list for 2020 as well. So often the beauty of the present tends to be marred by my worries and anxieties of the future, but I always remind myself of this quote from Scripture: “Which one of you, by worrying, can add another day to his life?” And when I look back at my life and all the times I’ve worried and fretted and cried, feeling like there was no way for us to extricate ourselves from this rut, this perennial cycle of debt and other things that have plagued me from birth, I am also reminded of God’s grace and providence that has brought me through so, so much. It would’ve been impossible to have done all of this by myself; I frankly might not have had the will to continue living if not for those things.

Talking about my lived experiences also ties in to the last part of my day - where I thought about how exclusive and inaccessible the poetry scene here feels. You would think otherwise, in a country of no more than 5-6 million folks, but no. I was ranting about this a little to my boyfriend: how it feels like a lot of the spaces within are reserved for the elites of society with silver spoons in their mouths and golden plates on their tables offering them anything they wanted while I was struggling to put food on the table at fourteen. Sometimes I also lament the fact that I didn’t have my parents to tell me bedtime stories, to encourage me to read and cultivate my vocabulary. Perhaps it’s jealousy, or inferiority, or a mix of both.

But my boyfriend, ever wise and supportive, offered me a different perspective. He made a fair point about how I still fell in love with books and writing regardless, and how literature is oftentimes only a harbour that the privileged visit because the marginalised, the poor are too busy working for basic necessities to even think about such things. To the ordinary blue-collar layperson, poetry is just frankly a frivolous sentiment that won’t turn itself into gold. I agree with this wholeheartedly. It’s one of the reasons why I always felt like I didn’t have time to write, and one of the reasons why my first job was at a library (so I could read as much as I wanted! For free!). Then he said, “But see, no one wants to read about the rich waxing poetic about how lovely and grand their sunny little island is. But people will want to read about your perspective - your poems of the brokenhearted clinging on desperately to their inner child, your poems about the poor working to make ends’ meet, your poems about your tangible struggles - all of those will resonate with the masses, for sure.” And I was like, well, that’s fair. But I certainly don’t express myself as eloquently as these people do. Next to them I’m like an uncultured swine who can’t even tell the difference between all the different forks splayed on the table.

His response was that people need to understand these things before appreciating them, and sometimes simplicity works best - a lesson that’s been drilled into us from the very inception of law school. And I was like, okay, fair, but deep down my heart was exploding with the sheer warmth of having someone so incredibly supportive of everything I do, even if it’s worthless in society’s eyes. I remember one night when I was telling him about how, as a twelve-year-old, I had a dream to one day study Literature at Yale. I would hole myself up in the library after school, feverishly flipping through books to expand my imaginations and horizons, my mental dictionary of words, dreaming about the day where I could escape all of this and dwell in nothing but imaginative worlds one day. Where reality failed me, I knew that I could always count on my imagination to transport me to somewhere safe and special, filled with joy and sorrow and tragedy and hope.

I ended up studying law. Not a bad thing, because as stressful as it was I really did enjoy the things I’ve learnt - international and constitutional law, especially - and it has certainly given me new, mature perspectives on so many things; taught me to argue with reason and objectivity instead of just emotion and passion and has led me to meet so many wonderful (also trashy, but I’m out of this hellhole) people. I just don’t like the fact that 80-hour work weeks are the norm and that there’s always so much to... read. If you gave me a piece of fiction I could happily indulge in it for hours, but sometimes judgments can be so ridiculously mundane to read, especially if they’re just itemising every single case on illegality from the 19th century. Lord knows I need at least two cups of coffee for that. Black, to be specific.

Anyway, I digress (as I always do lmao). My bf ended up researching all night until he stumbled across this Literature programme at Harvard - which frankly sounds amazing, but also unattainable. Which was what I said. And he was like, “Do I think it’s impossible? No. I think you have a very compelling life story, and you’re full of amazing stories within you to tell. And if you want to do it, I will support you wholeheartedly.”

Again, as is usually the case, I had nothing left to offer apart from muted sobs under my blanket. It still sounds absurd to me - unthinkable, even - but I am just so, so grateful to have someone like him support me through everything. Literally everything. This is the man who has spent hours tutoring me in the subjects that I was hopeless in in first year, because I was too busy tutoring random folks in economics and geography and catching up on sleep (in class, no less), who has patiently helped me prepare for every single mooting competition and watched every single one of them, who has seen me cry and admonish myself for being a failure (only to spend hours trying to convince me otherwise), who has celebrated every single one of my victories and losses - you deserve a treat, anyway! Let’s go eat something nice and put it behind us, for now! This is the same man who has so much passion for what he does, who is so darn good at it without even realising that he is (I wept when he won a mooting competition this year because I was so proud of and happy for him), and who inspires confidence and compassion in me every day.

I am grateful to share all our triumphs and tribulations together, and I look forward to starting a new chapter in life with you. :)

#this was a very long shitpost but if u made it to the end kudos to u!!! HAHAHAHA #also a rainy morning again so I am in the mood to ramble oops :')#might have spiralled outta control hehe #sorry to any1 who follows me for fma content LMAO #haven't been posting much fma content but I promise there is smt coming this weekend #maybe a new update of memento amare...#me being all dramatic: IT IS FINISHED *presses enter key with a flourish*

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fiore-rosewood9 · 3 years ago

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The reason why I don't ship usuk - I don't really like the idea of being called r*tarded in different comments on pinterest in 2021 just because I don't ship your precious comfort ship. I don't really like being told I am mentally slow over nothing, I assumed that in 2021 all of the hate and bad apples have left the fandom or that people were more mature. If you know or follow Kai honda (A person who threatened me over nothing) or Yasha rullz please unfollow me, I don't want to do anything with immature and abnormal people. It's really petty and weird to call others - R*tards over a fictional ship, it's not really that serious if someone tells you that they dislike something, i dislike oranges too but no one insults me over it?

This has happened a few months ago but i do feel bad, because I have generally had a shitty life. It is not the best when your mother has cancer for 4 years and your dad can't find a job but you also have to pay for college so sometimes you don't have food on your table. I changed my name on pinterest but am still genuinely confused by this weird childish behavior, I didn't expect someone to act this way. It deeply hurts me when my own safe place and the reason I am alive turns against me, this is not just random hate comments I can ignore, it is hurtful because hetalia is what got me through high school and kept me together, I reached the point of self h*rm and just really needed support but did not have friends or a counceler available to me, councelers and therapists are not cheap, so hetalia really helpled a lot. Like I get told daily insults, but only very few things make me cry and shake genuinely out of pain.

I just don't want psychologically insane people near me. I am in a better place now but it doesn't mean my life is easy, I sometimes feel generally sad because my life is not really good compared to my girl collegues, I mean people are marrying, having boyfriends, having firends to hang out, traveling the world, and I have the stupid and useless task of keeping my butt alive, I just generally feel stupid/weak. I don't know if I will leave the fandom at this point, I've been debating it for like a year, and I do love hetalia. I've spent 9 years in it, but have been active mostly for 5 since on the other 4 I have been on and off due to hiatuses and moving a lot, I will continue to post but don't know if my feed will be hetalia. I don't know if anyone will read this but I want to thank you for the understanding, my followers. I will wish you all now a good night and will try to sleep my self, after making my self some tea. Good night.

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emptymanuscript · 4 years ago

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The Cat

I’m about 9 minutes into the movie Bright, and all the criticisms are kind of crystalizing. But one of the things that’s killing me is how they’re setting up the MC, Daryl Ward.

My bet is that the film makers thought they were setting up Ward as the cat. And they’re not.

The Cat is the term for a story abstraction from the book Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder and its sequels.

The Cat itself, is something (and it can be nearly anything that the audience will value) in need of aid that doesn’t HAVE to get it. A random cat up a tree can be the Cat. The cat that belongs to the person you want to get with, who has promised carnal relations if their cat is returned, can’t be the Cat because there is a significant reason and reward beyond simple morality for it to be helped.

If a character saves the Cat, gives it aid, helps it out, etc. when it’s just out of the goodness of the heart, that character is defined in audience perception as heroic. Most action stories will have the MC Save the Cat! in some way within the first few scenes. It’s a short hand way to show that they are “good.” And if you have a Save the Cat! moment then followed by them doing something “bad” you’ve SHOWN the audience the trajectory of the story: this person is a good person underneath but they’ve gone astray and need to find their heroism again to save the day. You’ve told the story in miniature. So it’s very useful.

But that’s not the only way to use the Cat.

In many stories the main character IS the Cat. The story in the first few scenes shows a moment where the character is clearly in need of aid and doesn’t really quite get what they need. They get enough maybe to survive but no one is saving them. This signals to the audience that this story is about growth and confidence. The MC will start out in a relatively helpless state and figure out how to come to their own rescue.

One of my all time favorite examples of that is the movie Ms. Congeniality. The opening scene, which is only about 90 seconds, is playing hard with the Cat.

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The set up starts with the typical over the top Save the Cat set up. Our hero is going to ride into the rescue, save the cat, and be awesome. And then it turns. She’s not saving the cat, remember, the cat is something helped without reward, and she very much wants a reward. She IS the Cat. The real person in need of aid in this microsmic story is her. And she doesn’t get it. To keep going, she turns to her strengths and just barrels through. But, again, in miniature, this scene has told us everything we need to know about the trajectory of her story. She has all of the wrong kind of power, she uses it to mask her need, and what she is going to have to find is the “impossible” how to get what she really needs and how to draw helpers to her.

That’s the power of being the Cat. It draws sympathy. It paints expectations. And it communicates problems very clearly.

Unfortunately, many storytellers seem to believe that injury and/or pain is enough to make a character the Cat, and that just isn’t so. Cats are about choices and character trajectories. So, if you have someone shot in the first few minutes of a story, even though, yes, they NEED help and yes, they’re going to continue to need help to get back to where they were or better, it’s a non optional help. It carries with it its own reward. They’re better for no other reason than that they are recovering.

Go back to Ms. Congeniality and that’s not true. Her “saving” doesn’t intrinsically give her her reward. It gives her the key to then go out and get what she wants. They’re two separate goals. And that’s why it works. Her choice gives her another choice and that gives her her happy ending. If the story was merely a search for feminine power and getting it, it just wouldn’t feel as satisfying because it wouldn’t get the resonance of WHY feminine power is a necessity for her. As a really excellent rule of thumb, think of the Cat as representing the NEED of a character which must be fulfilled in order for them to get what they WANT. This allows for both happy and sad endings that are satisfying because they each deliver on the premise, even if it is a radically different outcome.

Ms. Congeniality has four fundamental outcomes arcing from that initial scene.

She can get the Feminine Power she needs and a boyfriend she wants - that’s a happy comedic story.

She can get the Feminine Power she needs but not get a boyfriend - that’s an “unhappy” comedic story, which can still be funny if she still pops the new not-boyfriend in the nose, happy and unhappy are textures as much as anything.

She can FAIL to get the Feminine Power she needs but get a boyfriend who appreciates her for who she really is - “happy” tragedy. Remember that comedy and tragedy in the literary sense don’t mean funny and tear jerker. Comedy means “what makes you sick but you get better” it’s about having trouble obtaining a goal but getting it in the end. Tragedy means “what kills you,” it’s about not being able to ever obtain the goal. So this kind of ending is really about saying that the goal was stupid all along.

She can Fail to get the Feminine Power she needs and because of that FAIL to get any boyfriend she might want. This is the pure tragedy. It’s both “sad” and tragic. She gets nothing. BUT this can still be funny. If you watch them closely, a LOT of slapstick comedies conform to this architecture. The characters enter the story as fools and leave the story as fools without having been enlightened one wit.

My extreme suspicion is that Bright wants to set up this kind of situation. Since the first thing we see of Officer Ward is that he feels under threat. All of his motions are indicative of someone who recognizes he is in extreme but non-immediate danger. He’s waiting for it. And then he’s shot. And then he’s clearly still having issues after he has recovered because his wife is urging him out of bed in the afternoon. He is the Cat, right?

Well, there is another relationship to the Cat that I think they’ve actually set up harder and is overriding that narrative.

Kick the Cat

You don’t usually see Kick the Cat in genre fiction. And there’s a very good reason. Genre fiction tends to lean toward “physical” action. By which I mean that the main conflicts of the plot happen outside of the Main Character’s body. The characters either go out and do something or something comes into their lives and forces them to do something. So, even though character growth is likely necessary and choices will be based on what they learn about themselves as people, that is expressed through the exterior plot. The Detective goes and solves and crime and that action results in the Detective’s change. Which means that internal character change is relatively harder to show because it doesn’t take center stage.

This means that a flawed person becoming a kind person works. But a deeply flawed, nearly broken person, who needs to grow into a kind person usually doesn’t. Because genre fiction doesn’t have enough cameras in that area where you can show it.

So when it happens in Genre Fiction, Kicking the Cat is generally an announcement that said character who does it is one of the villains and the reader should prep themselves for the sudden and inevitable betrayal.

Now that isn’t as true in Literary Fiction. Because Literary Fiction is the opposite of Genre Fiction in this way. Instead of the conflict generally being “physical”, the conflict in Literary Fiction is generally “mental.” The main conflict happens inside the body of the Main Character. So the majority of the action and most of the cameras are there. So Literary Fiction allows that kind of deep, essentially broken, flaw because it gives the story the space and insight to work with it. So it’s not as necessarily a trumpeting warning that you’re dealing with a villain. It can mean that this MC has a long way to go to fix themselves, if they can make it at all.

Unfortunately for Bright, it’s a Genre Film. AND I think that this is much more what they’re broadcasting. Remember I’ve only seen nine minutes so far. But the first nine minutes are saying a lot.

The opening credits play out over a visual depiction of a race war between the Orcs and the Police. This is, in visual language, the announcement that the Orcs are poor and oppressed and should be read as the equivalent of POC in our own world.

Ward, played by Will Smith, could open up a whole can of worms with that reading, and there’s clearly some intent to considering his neighbors are absolutely what you would see in a shot of the ghetto in another movie, but instead we go pretty much straight to:

He kills a fairy. It’s not depicted as innocent, it’s clearly a pest. But it’s also not exactly powerful. He kills it with a zealous slap of a broom. This is very plausibly the Cat. Especially with the reaction from his neighbors, who also have zero affection for the fairy but all react viscerally to Ward’s aggression. The essential problem with Cats as devices is that the audience takes them in subconsciously. There’s no opportunity for a sophisticated discussion when butts are in the seats. So the only way to control what the audience thinks is to be careful not to send conflicting messages. And this is a doozy. If it is read as a Kick the Cat moment, which I’ll be honest I am seeing it as, I can’t see Ward as the hero after this. I am waiting for his sudden and inevitable betrayal because he is absolutely one of the cops meant to be depicted up in the graffiti that slid past during the opening credits.

At this point, I’m not looking for his redemption. I’m looking for how he is going to pose a problem for the advancement for the story. Which makes him a villain and not a hero.

Worse, this is set between two discussions about his partner. I have to admit what I was really expecting was an action packed version of:

Not really the comedy aspect but that his partner was new and they had to work through their problems to get along and be their best.

There’s a reason that’s pretty much the gold standard. Because learning to get along is a standard useful storyline and commands both characters to grow. It’s the same basic dynamic as a Romance. The joy is in seeing people figure out how to click together in spite of their difficulties. The tension is ‘will they / won’t they?’ and you know they will but it’s very entertaining to see them work it out.

But that’s not what’s going on in Bright.

By the time the movie starts, Ward and Jakoby are already partners. Coming in in media res communicates that this isn’t really a story about a relationship forming. Which means they can’t really show the full arc of a relationship, and so that’s unlikely to be the focus of the story. Which communicates to the audience that they should have reason to doubt any kind of ‘will they.’

This is cemented by the three conversations immediately around the fairy killing. Ward explains to his wife that Orcs are different, not stupid, just that they think different. It is not him actually saying that the Orc isn’t stupid compared to a human just that they’re naturally different and can’t be held to the same standard.

He then tries to give that as a lesson to his daughter. Orcs are different so you have to keep Orcs in their proper mental categorization.

At which point Jakoby shows up again.

He is not welcome. Pretty much at all.

But here’s the thing, like his initial introduction:

Jakoby is depicted as kind and considerate. Up to where I’ve stopped, I haven’t seen him commit a single act of even aggression. He wants to know what kind of sauce Ward wants on his burrito.

He wants to pick up Ward to help him along. He responds with affection and magnanimous giving to Ward’s daughter. In other words, he’s coming across as the innocent in all this. Which really starts to qualify him for the Cat category. That may be ruined in the next ten minutes but right now, I’m looking at a guy who has been insulted and yelled at for doing nothing, who has only shown concern and kindness, and who exists around a framework of his established partner killing a fairy. If Jakoby is a Cat, then what I’m being taught to worry about by what the film is presenting is that Ward is going to try take him down. Because maybe tomorrow, Orc Lives Don’t Matter.

I’m being taught by the first 9 minutes that Ward is, at best, a potential villain. But that the story is going to be from his point of view. And it’s just not a great look. And I would suspect that’s a lot of what people were responding to when this movie first hit: that it is setting up a very unpleasant story line that usually doesn’t play out in the type of story that it is.

So, no matter how it works out in Bright, which I am probably now returning to, when it comes time for you to work with your own story, be aware of the messages you’re sending and what story arcs you’re selling. Cats as an abstract concept, no matter what they are, exist whether you love or hate Blake Snyder. They existed long before he coined the name. At an even deeper level it’s simply that your character’s actions and events in a story naturally carry a “moral” weight. We, as an audience, expect what your characters do to be representative of who they are, for good and ill. Where what they do conflicts with who they are, we’ll expect an explanation and a counterbalance. So be wary of doing something else. Sending the wrong message with the wrong set up can drive away audiences who would be perfectly content with your story without the conflicting information.

#writing #creative writing #writeblr #Bright #racism #movie

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jjr1971 · 4 years ago

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Measuring ASD folks with NT yardsticks is always bad (for us).

Another sleepless night (I have semi-frequent bouts of insomnia, more common for a lot of ASD people, for a host of reasons). But with all that time to think, a revelation of sorts as well. Recalling a comment made on a content creator's Patreon read aloud for YouTube, the commenter noted that if a character had taken action X, it would be "a real asshole move". I also noted that the described hypothetical reminded me of how I met and got together with my (ex-)wife. I recall also in our divorce how it caused a real falling out between myself and my former best friend from High School who had been our Best Man at our wedding. I'd just assumed she told him vicious lies about me while I remained silent, and perhaps that indeed still happened. I recalled what my former best friend would say about his disapproval of me, and realized in hindsight he was judging me as having made said "asshole move" outlined in the fictional story above. But the "asshole move" in question assumes NT parameters and a level of cunning guile that is simply absent in me. And I could even see how, with said cunning guile, it would be an asshole move...but in its absence---it's just not. It's way more complicated. But measure an ASD person by an NT yardstick....you do real damage that way and it's grossly unfair. My wife might've been better off had we never met or only remained casual friends. That's a counter-factual no one can know. Our relationship didn't stand the test of time but I can say we fell for each other HARD and our love was genuine and intense. We really did try hard to make it work. But in the end, our worldviews and values were just too different and irreconcilable...most prominently my confident atheism and her need for religious belief. She had a mean streak in her she got from her father and at long last I could no longer take the emotional abuse and I quite literally fled. By the end it felt like escaping a cult. Even her own mother admitted she was surprised I'd held on as long as I did. Her own friends were astonished we'd ever became a couple since she had such a reputation for being a merciless "ball buster" to any guy who tried to hit on her...they'd borne witness to so many guys getting shot down in flames and looked at me like a magical unicorn, someone who had evaded my ex-wife's formidable defenses and won her heart. Even my then-wife marveled at it sometimes, that she had a boyfriend and later husband. She's a single parent in another state now (the child is by someone else) and we live separate lives with nothing to do with each other, which is for the best. Maybe she wasn't ready for a serious relationship at 20. Maybe it would've been better for her to wait and maybe I should've given her space and not pushed things in a romantic direction. But I had fallen in love and couldn't help it. And some man some time later would've had to have helped her the way I tried...so why not me? As flawed a relationship as it was, it was the closest thing I've ever had to a normal adult sexual relationship of any duration and I still treasure my memories of the good times we had. Before her all I'd ever had were random hook-ups, just being at the right place with the right girl who just wanted it that particular night. All one night stands, very few & far between. I had one more serious relationship of 6 months about a year after my divorce was finalized but since then it's been a LONG dry spell....and nearly nobody gettin' newly laid during COVID-19, so...yeah. I clung to my ex-wife despite the withering emotional abuse because I desperately wanted things to work between us. I held on as long as I was able. I'm sad that it failed, profoundly so. But I ultimately had to get away from a relationship that had turned irredeemably toxic. These ruminations and memories still haunt me on long, sleepless nights...these memories and regrets for roads & chances not taken, etc. Had I had my ASD DX back then and understood my Executive Function deficits, that they were a permanent part of my neurology and

not something I would eventually "grow out of", I wouldn't have denied myself so many relationship opportunities and maybe would not have been so desperate by the time I met my first wife. If I'd had more girlfriends and experiences before meeting her instead of just rando hookups, my whole mindset might've been different. I generally sucked in my 20s and 30s at the whole flirting/dating thing, to be sure, but I also denied myself relationship opportunities out of anxiety, out of fear of needing to have my shit together before I could be in a relationship, not knowing that Executive Function deficits mean I'll never not feel like I don't have my shit together. That and my amazing ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, relationship-wise. I do not know if I'll ever remarry, but I do think I'd still like to date some again once the pandemic is behind us. One silver lining, my best friend from High School has forgiven me enough to be on speaking terms with me again, and we play D&D together regularly with the rest of our High School buds over Zoom and Fantasy Grounds. I'm so grateful for this.

#ASD thoughts #insomnia #exes #relationships #memories

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