#fics from the tomb

[carebeardean]

inspo:from the airlock of your heart by @wordsinhaled

[sea-of-eden]

IANTJE!!!!!!!!! GRGBWHBBBDGAHHAHH

[fortjester]

i think that tlt fic writers (myself included) are sleeping on matthias nonius. i think we should be making more use of him! walk w me for a second, okay? this bitch became a name that readers associated with groaning and complaining and "boring" verse - only for him to come out swinging when he actually hit the page, thereby rending us all asunder. he saved the fucking day, against all odds, and he did it while speaking in meter!!! is that not sick as hell? is that not actually fucking hilarious?? this man is so powerful, he's so cool, he's got immense swag, and i think that if you play it right, having nonius fix whatever plot drama you have going oddly makes sense (the way it did in htn). using deus ex nonius in your fics is an option, and i think we could all benefit from it

[ajcrawly]

Because I am of unsound mind, I'm skimming through HtN through the satirical and wildly unreliable eyes of our friend Augustine. In the long run you can expect:

Fifth House snobbery re the Third House and its efforts

Intense, codependent and psychologically unhealthy relationships with not one! not two! but (at least) three denizens of the Mithraeum

Just astonishing amounts of ennui

Weird sex. We've not got there yet but it really is a given.

In summation: pls <3

[s-aint-elmo]

throwback to when i first read harrow the ninth and i was convinced that The Body(TM) was not a genuine daily harrow experience but rather a consequence of gideon's erasure. like has harrowhark been having hallucinations of the body locked in the tomb since she was ten or is that just her mind filling in the sounds and sensations of gideon's presence in her life. is harrowhark really in love with the body or is that just her feelings for gideon finding another vessel in her absence. etc. etc. that was fun

[catrasfreckles]

Harrow is brave and resilient and stubborn and prideful and those are only some of the words you can use to describe her that are not "sad wet cat" or "goblin"!!! Hope this helps!!!!!

[yumikire]

Cooking for Dummies

New DantexLeon fic up on A03.

Leon meets Vergil officially. Nero and Leon teach the Sparda twins how to cook.

[teecupangel]

I have a habit of starting most time travel stories with the protag(s) crashing through the ceiling (universe) in an unavoidably public place and everything being silent for half a second before protag(s) either have an existential crisis at wtf just happened and/or recognize what time they’ve been transported to based on surrounding clues, OR go(es) “SHIT” and books it thru the now-screaming crowd as fast as they can while the hole in the universe seals up behind them mysteriously.

So anyway I was reading your protocreed asks and I was struck with the same scenario, but where Virus!Desmond and Not-A-Damn-Templar!Doctor Mercer crash thru a hole together in, idk, Alex’s university where he studied or something? During a lecture?

And a second later Desmond is panicking going “WHAT THE FUCK ALEX is that YOU??? Why are you at a university. Why are you also still next to me!!! WHY ARE THERE TWO OF YOU. Why is the year on the blackboard wrong oh fuck oh SHIT is it timetravel?? Alex we’ve goddamn timetraveled, I’ve never timetraveled before, idk what to do. Alex. Are you listening to me. Do you believe in time travel??”

“I’m a fucking virologist, Desmond.”

Total deadpan delivery. Man is still lying on the floor where he fell and just totally done with the universe and everything about it, thanks.

Anyways this isn’t a prompt or anything, I just wanted to share that image with you :)

The two ProtoCreed ideas I have. The old idea I have and a ProtoCreed idea with @thedragonqueen1998

That would make a very funny image and, also, if we’re going for AlexDes (AlexMond? AlMond XD?), Desmond crashing from the ceiling could absolutely be a meet-cute scenario for Past!Alex.

Oh, man.

I’m just imagining this will end up with an unnecessary love triangle with Future!Alex being the jaded arrogant bastard that he is that wants Desmond both because he’s a fascinating specimen and because he’s sexually attracted to him and Past!Alex who still has that sliver of hope inside him that maybe there’s people in this world he could actually trust both vying for Desmond’s affection.

Past!Alex is already on that edge of becoming the arrogant lone wolf that Future!Alex is and Desmond knows this, even noticing how he had been dodging Dana’s calls for weeks now. Desmond isn’t sure, of course, but he has a feeling that the moment Past!Alex stops taking Dana’s calls, that would be the final push so he tries to stop it and pretty much just annoying Past!Alex to try and help him.

Future!Alex has no time for Desmond’s good samaritan bs and he keeps getting in the way because he believes it’s a lost cause and also because Desmond should be focusing on assisting him to find a way to get back to the present.

Desmond doesn’t really care because being in the past meant that he could change it, contacting the Assassins and making plans of his own which includes being able to save Clay and fucking Abstergo's plans up (especially Vidic's).

What he will do about Past!Desmond though, he hasn’t really thought about it yet. Sooo… he’s just gonna ignore that.

(an ending could either be Desmond getting an Alex harem or Alex and Desmond returning to the future with Desmond giving the address to Bad Weather to Past!Alex and asking him to be nice to his past self, giving half-consolation price and half-hopeful ending to Past!Alex)

[non-cannon]

The Touchstone of Ra is stupid. Like mythologically so.

Like why would Ra's special stone be capstone for a pyramid. Pyramids were Old and Middle Kingdom tombs. Generally the realm of Osiris and Anubis and other gods related to the underworld.* I think the writers just went like "Ra and pyramids, those were big in Ancient Egypt, right?"

*not to say Ra and his nightly journeys weren't connected to the souls' journey through the underworld, but I still wouldn't connect a pyramid with Ra.

You know what they could have done instead? You know what other tall pointy things Ancient Egypt had a shit ton of that were also capped with a special piece and were actually related to Ra and his light?

Obelisks.

Obelisks had their points topped with special electrum* covers which could be the capstone/touchstone. Obelisks are generally thought to be representative of Ra's rays. Obelisks were also big and pointy and very Egyptian.

*apparently electrum is an ancient mixture of gold and silver and isn't just that weird D&D currency that no one uses

The gold for statues thing still makes no sense, but a Obelisk would still be better than a Pyramid.

[jugglingjujube]

I think if i'm going to write any paldulcie fics i need to read at least 6 trashy romance novels first

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

one of the perks to getting Really Into Falloutboy partially against my will is that I now recognize the musical origins of SO MANY more fic titles

[captorations]

so was anyone going to tell me that dulcinea's "three cords" line is literally just a bible quote or was i just supposed to learn that years too late to avoid embarrassment

(it's Ecclesiastes 4:12)

[smallblueandloud]

ladyhawke?? 👀👀

so uh... you know how ladyhawke is a movie about two people who love each other a lot but have to share functionality and cannot speak to each other? you know the plot of the novel harrow the ninth? yeah.

The woman stakes her sword in the ground and runs her other hand through her hair. She’s built like a brick wall, hefting the sword back up as if it weighs nothing. She’s skilled, too -- Jeannemary’s been training with swords her whole life and never seen anyone as good as that.

Isaac leans over. “It’s the same sword. The one Harrow was carrying.”

Jeannemary nods.

The woman hasn’t noticed them. She stands still for a moment, then raises her head towards the sky and whistles.

As they watch, a pitch-black shape soars into the clearing. It becomes obvious that it’s a bird as the woman raises her arm for it to land on -- she’s wearing leather braces, clearly not designed to catch a hunting bird but better than the bare arm. The woman barely flinches when the bird lands even though its claws must be cutting into her skin.

[psychicbergara]

same (tag) hat!! hahahaha

ALSDHF same hat!!!

it really is a fun movie but it also destroyed my life at 14. they put crack in catws for real like i dont think i ever truly got over it.

it's like i relapse into my brain rot once every year and proceed to rewatch catws and reread not easily conquered sdfhfg it was so bad for me (and still is lbr)

[mass-charge-spin]

this might not be anything, but a lot of things about the locked tomb's thesis of "souls are permeable and you are indelibly marked by the people in your life," especially the parts as illustrated by lyctorhood, very strongly remind me of the kind of homestuck fanfic from way back where eridan and sollux deal with the aftermath of having once been fused into erisolsprite

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

Harrow brainrot time

I did the thing I wanted to do so now, it is time to start my read through and liveblog of Harrow The Ninth.

But first! It's been a few days since I finished Gideon, so I just wanna round up my main feelings and take-aways from Gideon The Ninth, before I go delving into the sequel.

--

First up, oh my god, what an adorable goof Gideon is. I love her cluelessness. I love her horniness. I love how strong and skilled she is. I love her irreverence, her quips, her emotive narration. I hate and also love how easily she sacrifices herself for Harrow. I loved their relationship sooooooo, so much, so early on. Such interesting characters. So much trauma. My god. Hold me.

The whole "come to the first with your cavalier and become lyctor" thing seemed disconcerting at first, then kind of nice, then suddenly became almost hunger games-type horror. Upon rereading the very first bit, it seems even in the letter, the first summons, it said "Lyctors joined with their cavaliers"; that type of subtle foreshadowing is bound to hit me hard once I actually reread the whole thing, for real, which I will do, probably after I finish Harrow.

(Let me know if you want a liveblog of my reread as well... I'm hoping to find paper copies of the books before starting the reread, also because apparently there are little tidbits and short stories in the paper versions that I haven't found in the archive dot org pdf.)

Ah, what can I say. I really liked the whole book! I loved Dulcinea and her reveal came as a big shock! Ianthe's coldblooded ascension to Lyctorhood didn't come as a massive surprise (hers was a name I'd seen passed around fandom before I even started - so I always suspected there was more behind the bloodless facade in Coronabeth's shadow). I loved Palamedes and Camilla, I hope we learn what happened to Camilla as she was still alive when we last saw her.

As far as the Harrow brainrot is concerned.... ohhhhh my god Harrow. Like, I liked her from the start, as a character (if not really, at first, as a person) - what an interesting foil to set Gideon up with! But then it was revealed what huge trauma she's been carrying around with her since, basically she was born. The pool scene made me go absolutely feral. Oh my godddddd. HARROWWWWWWWW

Needless to say, I can't wait to spend a whole book with her, narratively. It might be too much to hope for, but I really hope she doesn't fare too terribly. The ending just tore me to shreds. Oh Harrow. Oh Gideon. Oh Gideon you stupid little idiot!! You lovable goof!! Why did you have to sacrifice yourself like that!! I mean, I understand why but also WHYYYYYYYYY. you get me, I'm sure.

I'm gonna attach my little ficlet that I wrote, in pain, right after finishing Gideon the Ninth; without any context whatsoever from the sequels. It's a massive projection. This is how I would be, in Harrow's situation, if I were Harrow. Take it with a pinch of salt. I just wrote this to get the hurt out.

Enjoy, and I will commence my reading of Harrow the Ninth very shortly!!

Alternative Epilogue

"No," she said.

The emperor looked at her, unmoving.

"No," Harrowhark said again. "I will not do as you please. I will not return to the Ninth. I will not be your Lyctor or your Saint. I will not. I refuse."

The emperor was still just staring at her, unflinching. “You realise,” he said, “that you have little choice now. You are a Lyctor, whether you like it or not.”

“NO!” she screamed, feeling as though the walls should have shaken with the intensity of emotions she suddenly felt. More than she’d ever felt, she thought, in her entire life.

She didn’t realise she was crying until she was crumpled to the floor like a wet tissue. Crying like she never had before, sobs shaking her morbid little body mercilessly.

“I refuse,” she bit, shaking. “No. No, I will not.”

There was no response.

An eternity seemed to pass where Harrowhark felt nothing but agony. Her body was perfectly healthy, moreso than it should have been, given the trials she’d endured. No, it was her heart, it felt shattered in a million pieces.

And she knew there was only one thing she wanted.

“Give her back,” she sobbed, hands clenching into her dissatisfactory gown. “Give her back, she’s all I have. She’s all I’ve ever had.”

“No power in the universe can return Gideon the Ninth to you now,” the emperor crooned, unaffected. Uncaring.

“You are God,” she spat. “You have all the power in the universe. You’re lying. You’re lying.”

Once again, he just watched her impassively.

“You’re lying,” Harrow said hopelessly, once again succumbing to sobs. “You’re lying. Please. Please give her back. Give her back to me, she’s all I have. Give her back. Give her back.”

She collapsed, if that were even possible, further onto the floor. Rocked by sobs, she curled in on herself, mumbling the same words again and again and again. She couldn’t even feel the gentle pressure of Gideon Nav inside her own mind. She couldn’t feel anything but herself. It was agony.

“Give her back.”

It was impossibly bright and all Harrowhark wanted to do was to hide. She hid, as much as possible, inside her own body. Eyes squeezed shut, head tucked into her armpit. Curled up on the floor in an extremely un-Harrowlike fashion.

But then again, she’d never quite lost everything before. Not like this. Not ever.

“She’s all I have,” Harrow sobbed into her own skin, “give her back.”

It seemed it was hours later that she realised she was alone.