#fic: we're all waving flags

[jamtartandsunshine]

“Roy?” Jamie asks softly “Why are you doing this man? You hate me.” Roy sighs, setting the plates on the counter and turning to face Jamie, who’s got his arms crossed protectively across his chest and what Roy can only describe as a hopeful scowl on his face. He’s just a fucking kid Roy thinks to himself.

[athenaluthor]

Hesitation - Darth Vader

Summary: Husband!Vader has been on his ship for far too long. His very pregnant wife has come to fetch him.

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Unburnt!Vader, Domestic!Vader, Husband!Vader, established relationship, fluff , porn with plot, wife!reader, PiV, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it please), creampie, mentions of children, mentions of Emperor Palps (he's his own red flag), same universe as my other fic here

Word count ~ 3.6k (unedited)

masterlist

Vader hasn't left his ship in days. Regularly occupied by the matters of the Empire, it was not uncommon for him to be absorbed in his work. More often than not, he would work late into the night until he lost track of time. Rest and sleep were put aside until he was satisfied with the work. To make matters worse, food and drinks his attendants provided were also regularly left untouched in favor of his work.

Although many would prefer it, his wife had decided to not let him rot on the Executor. After all, she prefers him alive and well. It also is not helpful that the current chatter among the Imperial ranks was that Lord Vader despised her and would rather confine himself to his ship than be with his very pregnant wife.

On some occasions, one could say that it was indeed true. Vader was nothing but dedicated to his work, or the Dark Side if we're being honest. But for the most part, Vader is practically glued to her. If he could chain her to their bed, he would.

That being said, no one dared to disturb him on his ship. Vader's temper was infamously catastrophic, mercurial. He could go from calm and collected, to being the embodiment of chaos and destruction. To make matters worse, her third pregnancy is proving far more difficult than the other two. The pain borders on unbearable and she struggles to walk even short distances.

Walking through the doors of his private office aboard the ship, she searches it for her husband. The cold wave of air sends a chill down her spine, making her shiver. She clutches her fur shawl closer to her body, trying to keep warm. The sight of Vader standing and looking over his war table, greets her. He was surely ready to chew out whomever had bothered him, clearly engulfed in his work.

Turning around, Vader's anger dissipates. Seeing his wife slowly walking towards him, taking careful steps to ensure she wouldn't slip and injure herself or god forbid, her baby has that effect on him. Naturally, Vader wastes no time in slipping off his helmet and crossing the room to her. Instinctively, he holds out his arm for her to use as support and walks her over to the sofa. Vader adjusts the few cushions on the absurdly large and plush sofa to support her back and helps her sit.

“What are you doing here?” he all but yells, kneeling down in front of her to slip off her shoes. Setting her shoes aside, Vader massages her swollen feet.

“When ones’ husband does not return home to his wife for days in favor of a ship, people talk. Not to mention, the boys miss you as well.”

“A few things are taking longer than I expected. I planned on coming home yesterday.” he replies, eyes avoiding her. He opts to focus his vision on her feet and massaging out the knots.

“I know. Your schedule isn't exactly a secret to me.”

“Things don't always go as planned.”

“Well, rebels and incompetent Imperial officers will do that.” she replies nonchalantly.

“Did you walk all the way from the landing bay to here?”

“Yes. It's not a very short walk, you know.”

Vader's face grows darker with what she assumes is rage or frustration. She reaches out to grab his gloved hand and toy with his fingers.

“I know. The walk is not suitable for a woman who's heavily pregnant!” he replies sternly, clearly unhappy with her choice.

Standing up, he walks over to the side table and buzzes for an attendant. Seconds later, one rushes in, face riddled with anxiety and fear.

“Yes, Lord Vader?” her voice quivers slightly. Clearly frightened in anticipation of Vader's wrath.

He orders her to bring in a selection of drinks and food, barely acknowledging her presence.

The attendant looks somewhat relieved at his request, probably grateful he wasn't directing his wrath at her. Her eyes flicker over to Vader's wife briefly before she quickly steps out of the room.

Quietly, Vader rearranges the cushions in the couch again and gestures for his wife to lay down. Tired and uncomfortable, she happily obliges. Vader helps her lay down, adjusting things here and there to ensure her comfort.

He fusses like a mother hen, she muses to herself.

Sitting down beside her, his hand gently caresses her large bump, a comfortable silence washing over them.

Soon, he thought. Soon, they would be free from the Emperor's clutches. His sons wouldn't be forced to serve the Emperor as he had, his wife wouldn't have to keep birthing him children if she didn't want to. He would give her anything, she gave him a second chance of life when he squandered it.

The baby wastes no time and gives a rather hard kick to Vader's hand, earning a groan from his mother.

“Your son is not letting me sleep. He can't stop moving or kicking or tensing! Everything just hurts.” she angrily says.

Vader reaches out into the force, searching for his unborn son's signature. The boy was warm and his signature was pure, untainted. Vader soothes and calms him down, sensing how tense his wife truly was.

“Have you seen the doctors? Make sure there's nothing wrong with you or the baby.” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

“I have. The baby is just, I don't know, active? The doctors say he's active. Our boys weren't exactly easy pregnancies but I wasn't this uncomfortable with them.”

The squeaky wheels of a cart interrupts them, they both turn their heads to the attendant walking in. Pushing a metal cart that was filled with a few drinks and an assortment of snacks, the attendant asks if they would need anything else.

Vader dismisses the attendant and turns his attention back to his wife.

“Uncomfortable or painful? You need to be honest. I have seen you pregnant, I know you're in pain.” Vader says accusingly.

She doesn't reply. Instead, she opts to run her hands along his suit. Eventually inching up to his face where she runs her fingers across his jaw,his cheek and even his nose.

Vader leans into her, reveling in the contrast of her soft touch against his skin. The way she looked at him so reverently, as if he hung up the stars for her.

In all truth, he would. He wouldn’t even hesitate or question her. He would do anything she asked him to. He didn't deserve this kind of love. He didn't deserve this gentleness and patience. Not after what he's done. Yet, he lets her. He knows he shouldn't let her, but he does every time. She wants to give him all her love and care, yet he feels so desperately undeserving of it. He has tainted her, no matter how hard he tries to, he can't stop himself.

He can't stop himself when she begs him to take her to bed and make love to her or fuck her mindless. He can't stop himself when she's begging him to fill her womb with his seed and give her another baby. Not when she's brought his sons into the world. She has carried and birthed two of his children. Now, she's carrying his third and Vader can feel that she's weaker this time. He won't admit it, he can't admit it.

The dark side in him feeds off this worry, telling him that he will lose her. Telling him that he will lose her to childbirth and the child he put in her will bring her to her death. He condemned her to death the same way he did Padme.

“Stop.” her voice breaks him out of his trance.

She continues “You're spiraling out. You're here yet you're miles away and we can't have that.”

She looks over at the cart and turns to him. With a soft smile on her face she makes him an offer he can't resist.

“How about you eat with me,hmm? I don't have any appetite when I'm alone. Eating with you always helps.”

So, they eat together in silence. The spread of food had enough variety for her not to feel sick. Vader has no protests, as long as she eats. The baby is well-nourished and so is she. She wastes no time in eating her food, having a taste of everything. Vader remembers she is always hungry at this stage of pregnancy, for food and for him. He didn't mind.

Truth be told, he couldn't care if people thought he was pulling away from her. It couldn't be further from the truth. Vader was largely focused on her, his two sons and his unborn child. Everything he did was for them. His plans of betraying Palpatine is all for them. His wife's third pregnancy had thrown a wrench in his plans of overtaking Palpatine. Trying to move her somewhere in this state, he simply couldn't risk it. He didn't want her to be caught in the crossfire while pregnant, not when she is this vulnerable.

The stress could bring harm to both her and the baby. If anything happens to either of them, the dark side would surely dig its claws deeper into him.

Palpatine would also surely take the first chance at killing his pregnant wife if he retaliated. If this happens, the dark side will consume him completely, he thinks. He can't let his boys see that.

Vader also wants to be there for the birth. He wants to make sure she would live through it. Once she's safely given birth safely he prays, he'll have her and the children hidden. Hidden somewhere safe, somewhere protected where no one will be able to find them or hurt them.

Only then will he take on Palpatine. Only then will he destroy his wretched master. He will make Palpatine suffer for all he's taken away from him. Yet, Vader still hesitates. Would this be the right course of action?

Vader was a fool not to see Palpatine’s plans. He believed that Palpatine truly allowed him to have another wife as a reward for his work. In truth, Palpatine wanted his children for his sick and twisted plots. Vader felt his blood run cold and his stomach churn when Palpatine suggested his eldest son be trained in the ways of the dark side soon.

“Will you come home tonight? Perhaps even tuck them in?” Her voice is timid, almost as if she's testing the waters. She doesn't realize it, but her voice snaps him back to reality, grounding him to the world around him.

“Alright. We'll head home soon.” Vader leans in to kiss her, his kiss is passionate yet gentle.

His hand gently weaves itself into her hair and she has no qualms about it. Vader’s kiss tastes sweet, like the fruits he's eaten off the spread and somehow she adores him even more now. The smell of his armor is both comforting and arousing, making her head spin

Vader pushes her fur scarf off her body, exposing her cleavage to him. Laying down, Vader thinks she looks like an angel, a kriffing angel.

Hair tousled and skin warmed, her breasts on display for him. The look in her eyes is one of love and lust which has Vader feeling like a teenage boy with his cock tightening in his pants.

Luckily for him, she's wearing one of her breastfeeding dresses. Vader pulls her dress away from her chest, exposing her to him.

“Vader!” she exclaims loudly, hands swatting him away. “What?” he mischievously grins at her.

“Not here. What if someone enters?”

“I'd kill them” Vader replies nonchalantly.

Vader's tongue moves to toy with one of her nipples, earning a rather erotic groan from her. He gently sucks on her nipple while his hand toys with the other.

Her hand weaves itself into his soft, blonde curls, gripping and tugging it gently as she falls into the fit of pleasure.

Vader moves his attention to her neck, kissing and sucking, leaving red marks in his wake. The smell of her perfume and body oils drives him crazy. When he pulls away, the sight of her flushed face has him breathless and his cock hard.

Vader tugs his gloves off, setting them aside on the cart of food and drinks. Then, he gets between her legs and slowly shifts her skirt up to expose her soaking wet panties. Vader pulls her panties off, tossing them somewhere in the room.

Vader slides two fingers in and out of her, earning moans that any man would beg to hear.

“You smell so sweet and you're so wet. Is all this for me,hmm?” he teases her.

Dizzy from pleasure, she struggles to answer.

“Mmhm..Oh! Who else has me like this?”

“Should I fuck you right here? On this couch, where anyone can walk in,hmm?” he asks.

“I want you. I want you to fuck me, husband” she whines to him.

Satisfied with her answer, Vader leans down and his tongue fiddles with her clit while his fingers pump in and out of her. Her cunt tastes sweet just like her and within minutes, he has her bucking her hips and arching her back, moaning while she grows closer to her climax.

When she does, her body trembles and she tries to close her legs as he continues to suck on her clit and finger her. His fingers move with a come hither motion making her squeal. Her body is always so sensitive when pregnant. Vader loved to see how many times he could make her cum all over him before she couldn't take anymore.

“Ohh, Vader! Vader!” she moans.

Vader continues until she comes undone a second time, her walls clamping down on his finger so tightly he could barely them. Her thighs shake as he sucks harder on her clit and she tries to squirm away from him.

Her thighs wrap around his head and Vader thinks that he could stay there forever. Vader pulls his fingers out of her and his mouth dives right into her pussy, lapping up all her juices.

His wife tries to push him away, clearly it was too much for her. Vader grips her thighs tightly, preventing her from moving away.

Then, he adjusts her on the couch. He helps her get on her knees and positions her so her belly is supported by the couch cushions. Her hands grip the back of the couch for support, preparing to take Vader. Taking her in a back shot position is one of his favorites.

Vader discards his codpiece in record time and unzips himself to free his hard cock. Vader lines his cock up to her and thrusts himself in, her pussy was so wet, it was barely resisting him. He groan loudly as his cock sinks into her warm and wet pussy.

Vader thrusts himself in and out of her, the sounds of their skin slapping only spurring them on. His head moves to the side of her neck, breathing in her scent as one of his hands wraps around her neck gently.

Her moans and pants are music to his ears, he knows she adores it when he's like this. He thrusts into her slow and deep, shifting the angle of his hips to hit the right spots. It takes him all of his control not to fuck the living daylights out of her.

Vader grunts out between his thrusts “You feel so good around me,wife. My wife, the mother of my children, takes my cock so well. Even when you're this pregnant, you still spoil me.”

The hand on her throat moves to clutch her belly. His other hand moves down her swollen belly and to toy with her clit, making her moan loudly.

Vader's thrusts speed up slightly as he rubs her clit, “How long will it take for you to cum this time? You look so good falling apart for me, my darling wife”.

Vader continues his thrusts and the hand on her clit doesn't stop until she comes undone. When she cums, Vader continues to move his cock in and out of her, making her moan and whimper louder. Her walls grip him so tight, it has him grunting as he tries to thrust.

“Vader, Vader, Vader! It's too much! Can't take it, hmmph!” she whimpers.

“I haven't finished yet, my pretty wife. I'm going to fill you up with my cum.” Vader whispers in her ear.

His thrusts now pick up speed as he chases his climax and his fingers on her clit expertly help her get closer to her fourth orgasm as well. Her moans and his grunts fill the room, the sound of their skin slapping against each other echo loudly.

“You're so tight! Too much,hmm? My poor wife can't handle my cock!” He grunts in her ear.

He's close. He's so close and so is he. He ruts into her wildly as he feels her fourth orgasm nearing. She orgasms again, legs shaking as she tries to hold on until he shoots his load deep inside her. She's seeing stars trying not to faint from how good this feels.

“I'm going to cum! Take it, take it” he yells as he shoots his cum inside her. The feeling of being so full of him and his cum has her so dizzy. Her entire body shakes and she's panting as Vader slowly finishes his thrusts.

Vader pulls out of her and the stimulation has her whimpering. His cum drips out of her and onto her thighs and the couch.

Then, he helps her limp body to lay down on the couch. He's careful to lay enough cushions to support her as he lays there satiated and panting. Cleaning himself up, he zips up his pants and places his codpiece back on.

Taking a few tissues, he wipes down the mess he's made between her legs. The contact has her moving away, clearly overstimulated.Then, he helps to adjust her dress and cover her breasts.

“Was that too much, hmm?” Vader asks as he brushes her hair out of her face.

She shakes her head. “It was good. Just what I needed. Though, I don't think I can walk home after this.” she says to him.

Vader leans down to give her a kiss on the cheek before handing her a glass of water with a straw from the cart.“You don't have to. I'll carry you.”

She drinks it under his watchful eye. “I'm doing alright today. The baby is active but the pain isn't too bad. Nothing more than usual. You need not worry, husband.” She says to him.

Vader doesn't answer, merely standing up to grab his helmet and putting it on. He walks over to her and grabs the glass to put it aside.

He picks her up and carries her all the way back to her little ship in the landing bay. Ignoring the eyes of the Imperial officers and stormtroopers, she lays her head on him despite his hard armor poking her head.

By the time they reach her ship, she's fast asleep. Only waking when he straps her into one of the seats. He starts the ship and flies it out the Executor's landing bay down to Coruscant.

Once home, Vader helps her pump her milk since she missed a feeding to go fetch him on his ship. Then,he helps his very sleepy wife freshen up for the night and change into something comfortable for the night. He made sure to rub some ointments on her to soothe her aches and help her sleep.

After he tucks her into bed, he unlatches his helmet and looks out into the nighttime skyline of Coruscant. Bustling with lights and music, filled with party-goers and dwellers from all parts of the galaxy. He turns to look at his wife, sound asleep in his bed looking like an angel. A kriffing angel.

Shedding his armor, Vader heads into the shower. Relieved to wash the day away and calm down, he stands under the warm water for a while. All was well for now. His wife was sound asleep in their bed, his kids were too probably.

Finishing his shower, he gets dressed and heads to his sons’ rooms. Their rooms weren't far, just across from his and his wife's. Close enough for him to get to them if anything were to happen. Nothing would, not under his watch.

He quietly slips into his eldest's room first. The five-year old boy lays sprawling on his bed, blonde curls poking about wildly. His blanket was at the edge of the bed, almost kicked off by the aggressive sleeper that was his son. His son was the most deep sleeper he's seen. An earthquake could happen and the boy would still sleep.

Vader readjusts the boy so he lays properly on his pillow and he slides the blanket back on. He checks the monitor and gives his son a kiss on the forehead before leaving to check on his youngest.

His youngest is now 14 months old. A joyful thing, really. He's always smiling and laughing, following his older brother around.

Vader peers into the boy’s crib to see him clutching his toy purrgil tightly. Vader gives him a kiss and checks the monitor as well before heading to his home office.

Sitting in his chair, he stares at the holo screens in front of him. Now or never, he thinks. He has to put his plans into place if wants to beat Palpatine soon.

He can't hesitate. He has to be sure. Hesitation will get him and his family killed.

His gaze moves to the little clay sculpture of him he has on his desk. It was one his five year old son made for him at school.

He won't hesitate.

Darth Vader does not hesitate.

[ashwhowrites]

Chappell Roan’s “Casual” with Robin? 🥲

I remember when she opened for Fletcher a few years ago! Honored to write a fic for one of the most popular songs at the moment

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻 ( love your profile picture by the way )

Casual

My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch I thought you thought of me better Someone you couldn't lose You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss, I have anger issues

Robin Buckley had a hold on Y/N, that she didn't even understand. Robin was a chemical and it fucked up Y/N's brain. It made her make stupid decisions, hallucinate the possibilities, and lose vision in the red flags.

Y/N wasn't anything special to Robin, and that was the issue. No matter how many times people said it to Y/N, she didn't believe it. She was so sure that she meant something to Robin. She believed it was more than a fuck. Almost like Robin kept Y/N there because she can't lose her, she just hasn't admitted it to herself.

If anyone was going to tell her that they weren't anything, it was Robin.

"Why did you kiss her? I mean I was with you." Y/N fought as she followed Robin into her bedroom.

"Because I can! How many times do I have to tell you that we are not together!" Robin argued back, removing her jacket.

Y/N rolled her eyes and stomped her way to her car

Of course, Robin didn't follow. But Y/N still sat in the driveway just in case. She waited and waited, then did what she did best

She went back inside and walked to Robin's bedroom. Robin shifted in bed when she heard Y/N's footsteps. Without a word, she pulled back the blanket, and Y/N crawled inside. She bit her tongue as Robin wrapped her arms around her and softly pressed her lips against hers.

Robin's touch and kiss used to fill her with butterflies, but now all she saw was red, and the taste of betrayal.

You said, "Baby, no attachment" But we're Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out Is it casual now? Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her house on Long Beach Is it casual now? I know what you tell your friends It's casual, if it's casual now Then, baby, get me off again If it's casual, it's casual now

Y/N knew it was no attachment, friends with benefits and that is all it would be, to Robin at least. Y/N would always see Robin as so much more.

How did Robin not feel more? Robin was on her knees, head underneath Y/N's skirt as the windows in the car fogged. Y/N did something for herself, she went on a date. And it still ended with her in the palm of Robin's hand. Robin was jealous, that was easy to tell and feel. It meant she cared, how could this be casual?

"Fuck Rob," Y/N moaned as she gripped the seats, Robin hummed but kept her mouth on Y/N's clit. The vibrations made Y/N shiver and her mind went blank. She submitted to Robin's torture.

~

Y/N wasn't sure if she was supposed to say yes or no to Robin's mom's invite. She wanted to scream yes, she wanted to show Robin that others were thinking the same thing she was. That Robin was so wrong because nothing about them was casual.

Y/N looked at Robin as her mom waited for an answer. A huge smile on her face. Robin smiled and Y/N took that as a yes.

Y/N soaked in the air in Robin's arms, sitting on the sand as the waves crashed on the shore. The sun was setting and the sky was pink and purple, the most romantic view.

As she sat in her arms, she still didn't understand how Robin didn't realize the things they did were what couples do. Friends with benefits don't sit on the beach and embrace each other's warmth.

"I could get used to this," Robin whispered, her chin on Y/N's head. Y/N smiled and agreed. But all she could think about was "Why can't you?"

Dumb love, I love being stupid Dream of us in a year Maybe we'd have an apartment And you'd show me off to your friends at the pier

It didn't matter how many people told her she was being dumb, and allowing herself to be hurt. She knew she was, and she accepted that. If being stupid got her this close to Robin, she would pick to be stupid for the rest of her life.

Y/N always dreamed of what life would be like if Robin allowed herself to fall. Would they live in a small apartment filled with plants and cats? An apartment sounded nice, a place they decorated just for them. A place where they could make love and never be alone. Tangled together forever and always. Y/N could finally have a relationship with Robin's friends. They would all hang out and get messy at parties. Y/N would show that she meant something to Robin.

"what are you thinking about?" Robin whispered, her breath against Y/N''s neck as they lay naked in Robin's sheets. Her eyes were closed as she bathed in the comfort of Y/N's arms. She ignored the way her heart raced and how at peace she felt when she was with Y/N. It was casual, she couldn't feel this way.

"Nothing," Y/N lied, closing her eyes to live in her daydream a little longer

Robin nodded and allowed herself to fall into her daydream. Y/N cuddled into her body as Steve told a dumb story. Robin felt no fear of being in love as she watched her two favorite people talk like they had known each other for years. But that was a dream because Robin was racked with fear every time she breathed.

It's hard being casual When my favorite bra lives in your dresser And it's hard being casual When I'm on the phone talking down your sister And I try to be the chill girl That holds her tongue and gives you space I try to be the chill girl But honestly, I'm not

When Y/N was alone and with her thoughts, she broke. She cried in misery. The one thing she needed in her life would simply never be. She never fell in love before Robin, and it killed her to know that love would never be enough. It was hard for her to accept that Robin wasn't the endgame, she was a lesson.

But how was she a lesson that compelled every part of Y/N's life?

Y/N opened her dresser to grab clothes to get dressed. She scrunched her eyebrows as she searched for her favorite bra that fits like a glove. She made a mess as she searched and searched, but no luck. She sighed when she released she must have left it at Robin's. She was confused as to why Robin didn't call to tell her.

~

"Rob? What's up?" Y/N asked

Robin sighed over the phone, her eyes looking to her sister as she cried into her hands.

"Bethany and George broke up, she wants to talk to you." Robin handed the phone over and Y/N pulled out her best advice.

It wasn't a surprise that Bethany wanted to talk to her. Bethany loved Y/N like another sister. Another reason why it pained Y/N was that Robin couldn't give her more. Robin's family loved having Y/N around. If they got married, it would be an easy transition into the Buckley family. But Robin wouldn't let that happen.

Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her Long Beach house I know what you tell your friends Baby, get me off again I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter Bragging to your friends, I get off when you hit it I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry, dude, you didn't I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

Robin had her head thrown back and her hand covering her mouth as Y/N fingered her in the bathroom stall.

It was bliss but it was rough. Her fingers moved at a quick speed and pulsing strength. Robin felt like she would wake up bruised. Robin's chest was bare as Y/N sunk her teeth into the skin. Bites and marks are left everywhere.

"Why are you fucking me like you hate me?" Robin panted, her eyes shut as she felt her stomach get tight

Y/N had many reasons to hate her. Sitting at a table with her parents, holding her hand under the table like it meant something. Robin fed her all these teases and ripped them away the same day. For now, Y/N is having dinner but in an hour? She'd be sent home in tears as Robin called someone else. Y/N was tired of getting dragged around.

"Because I do" Y/N admitted, her words drowned out as Robin yelped out her orgasm.

~~~

Y/N rolled her eyes are Robin talked with her friends. Y/N wanted to be excited that she was talking about her, but Robin wasn't. She was bragging about herself

Robin was going on and on about how good she fucked Y/N and all the ways she made her cum. Even more proof that Y/N was nothing except what was between her legs. She was being used and she wouldn't ever be loved by Robin.

Y/N walked out of the party, for once leaving alone and with clear eyes.

She never should have let it go on this long, but all she could do now was end it. She walked out on Robin and walked out on the possibilities.

Robin would not be the only person she would fall in love with. Robin would just be the first because at the end of the day, Robin was a lesson.

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.1 K Warnings: none Prompt: The school is buzzing with excitement as the race aproaches, magical things are bound to happen. Some more magical than others, and some of a less magical nature, but more than magical regardless. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 11: Do ya?  

October 3rd, 1976 - Sunday

The day of the race finally came, the school was buzzing with excitement. The quidditch captains had gotten some of the teachers to help after asking for the right permissions, and even Professor McGonagall was going to be among the judges since she had been an amazing player before her injury in her last year. Everyone in the school knew how good she’d been, a legend, in fact. So it only made the race even more exciting. 

Only quidditch players from the different teams had been allowed to participate in the end, which meant only the fastest flyers of the school were going to be in the race. James had even gotten around to buying a small trophy that he’d be handing over to the winner. Sirius had already boastfully told him where he’d be placing it once he got it. 

You woke up earlier than usual, the anticipation eating you up. James had borrowed an old quidditch uniform for you to wear, and Beth had helped you alter it, switching James’ last name for your own, and adding some patches she had you order on the magazine. “Good look charms,” she’d told you. Marlene was also getting ready beside you, she chose to wear only a very thick wool sweater, with a round pin Mary had given her. 

From the Gryffindors, only 4 people had signed up, Marlene, Sirius, Gale Thomas and you, all of them incredibly good flyers. You’d asked Davis why she hadn’t entered the race, she mentioned something about preparing for the O.W.L.s early. And since you’d just been through that last year, you completely understood where she was coming from. 

From the other teams, you’d heard some 7th years had also decided to join, Holden, Minho and Alexander Wood were among them. Once you were outside of the castle you saw crowds of students walking outside, they’d even made merchandise of you and the other competitors. The small girl that’d asked you to teach her how to do a backflip was wearing a pin with your face on it that said something along the lines of “(Y/N) is the fastest flyer of the school,” and she waved at you, giving you a thumbs up while you walked towards the finish line, the little girl you’d helped in your first day, the one who’s ring you had rescued, stood beside her, with a small flag that said “GO (Y/N)!”.

Some kids had made posters, you saw one from some 3rd years that had Marlene’s and your name on it, along with two little stick figures flying around the castle really fast. But Gryffindors weren’t the only supporters you had, Sybil and Nina, from Ravenclaw, both had a pin similar to the one the small Gryffindor girl was wearing and they were sitting together with their own little poster. And even Imogen, who had also opted out of the race, had one pin with Alexander’s face and another with Sirius, Marlene and you. 

As for Sirius, being the heartthrob that he was, had tons of posters, and pins, and you swore you saw a girl with a sweater with his face on it. It is definitely going to get to his head, you thought as you walked towards the competitors’ tent, broom in hand. Sirius hadn’t come out yet, and Marlene was walking next to you. Minho and Holden were already in there, both waved to you and Marlene when they spotted you. They also had their fair quantity of posters and memorabilia scattered all over the crowd. Minho maybe had as many as Sirius, and it wasn’t strange, he was just as much of a heartthrob as your friend. Alex arrived later, and you waved to him with a smile, he walked straight towards you. 

“You’re quite popular,” he said with raised eyebrows “Rumours travel really fast, don’t they? Should’ve asked for your autograph the day I brought you back to the school.” 

You chuckled, “Don’t stress too much about it, I’ll always have discounted autographs for you.” You joked back. The two of you were laughing together when Sirius finally arrived. He had put his hair up in a ponytail, some of the shorter strands of his hair were framing his face, the girl with his sweater alongside her friends fawned over him as he walked beside them, same, you thought as you stared at him. Gale was behind him, not causing as much of a commotion as Sirius, but still holding his fair share of cheers. When Sirius walked into the tent, he had a smirk plastered on his face. 

“Being pretty is not going to make you any faster,” Alex joked. 

“Maybe,” Sirius said cockily “but it sure feels good to be cheered for the loudest,” his smirk growing with his answer, that got a laugh from everyone. 

You leaned in towards Marlene and whispered “Attention whore.” 

Marlene giggled, nodding in agreement “The biggest of us.” Sirius talked to Minho and some older boys from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff you hadn’t yet met. 

Imogen had popped inside the tent at some point, even if she wasn’t going to participate in the race, she still had that Quidditch Team member privilege “Feeling ready?” She asked you and Marlene. 

“Born ready,” you replied confidently. You were happily talking to her when you saw someone walk in the tent. His hair long, framing his face, wearing green from head to toe, and with a brand new-looking broom, Regulus. 

The minute he saw you he walked towards you, with the intention of saying hello, he hoped that now you and Sirius were better off, you wouldn’t be so hostile towards him. He hoped wrong. 

“(Y/N),” he said, politely approaching you. You looked at him, not saying a word, “How– How’ve you been? I.. ‘ve been meaning to–“ 

“–Regulus,” he shut up the moment you spoke. “We’re not friends. Stop trying to talk to me,” you said before awkwardly nodding and walking towards Sirius and the boys. Regulus looked at you, hurt evident in his eyes, Marlene gave him a pitiful look and went back to her conversation with Imogen. She was telling her how this boy from the Gryffindor Tower had made a bunch of the pins and posters people had worn to support them.

Once you arrived you stood between Sirius and Minho, a boy who you hadn’t met spoke “So… this is your famous keeper?” He had silver hair and wore blue robes. You smiled at him politely. 

 “This is Lionel Aldrige,” said Minho, “Ravenclaw’s Captain, and keeper.” 

“Nice to meet you,” you said, extending your hand.

He took it in his, he had a firm grip “Nice to meet you too, (Y/N), I’ve heard plenty of you.” 

You smiled, “Hope all good.” 

He nodded “I’d go as far as to say you’ve got your own little fan club in the Ravenclaw tower, I’m excited to finally see you fly.” 

“I won’t disappoint,” you said with a wink. 

Sirius cleared his throat and placed an arm over your shoulders, You raised an eyebrow at his reaction, but he ignored it, making himself comfortable, “‘Course she won’t. She’s ours,” he said pointing to his red and yellow sweater. 

That’s when James walked in, alongside Dimitry and Delilah Moss, the Hufflepuff captain “Lionel!” Shouted Dimitry “We need to talk.” 

After talking between themselves for a second, they came back, Delilah and Lionel pushed a table with a cloth on top covering something towards you and the rest of the competitors “Gather ‘round!” She said.

James smiled and grabbed a piece of parchment, “Simple rules: No intentional hexes or courses, no grabbing a competitor’s broom, no unauthorised shortcuts, stay on the designated course and for the love of god, wear your safety gear and avoid collisions with each other. This is not quidditch. I know some of you are used to playing rough, but this is about flying ability and speed, so save those moves for the games.” 

“Sorry, James,” said Gale “But… I believe we don’t know what the designated course is.” 

James smiled “I was really hoping you’d ask that,” he said before pulling the cloth and revealing a small 3D version of the castle. 4 small balls of red, green, yellow and blue, going through different sections of Hogwarts, all following the same path.

“We have placed several light halos all over the course we designed,” started Delilah  “You will have to pass through each and every one of them whenever you spot it. Unless you’ve passed through them all, you will not count as a winner, even if you get to the finish line first. It won’t be an easy task, we’ve made sure of it. We’re not only testing your km/h, we’ll be also testing how quick you can react to things happening around you, so expect setbacks.” 

“Some halos will be easier than others,” added Dimitry “Keep an eye out for the harder ones. The race will have a total of 3 laps around the castle. It means you’ll have to follow this path,” he said pointing at the bright lights on the 3D model “at least 3 times before you finish. If you miss a halo, that means you’ll have to do another lap to get it.” 

“Any questions?” Asked Lionel with a bright smile.

“Are there any specific penalties for breaking the rules?" Asked a Slytherin boy, who you quickly identified as Barty Crouch Jr. the kid that hated your guts after you broke his nose with a quaffle.

“You break them, you’re out of the race,” Delilah said sternly. 

“But, how would you know if we did,” asked a taller boy next to Barty, with ashy blonde hair, handsome, but dangerous looking. 

“Rosier,” Dimitry warned, “we do not cheat in my team.” 

The boy raised his hands in defeat, an amused look on his face, he was looking forward to Dimitry leaving the next year. 

"Do we have to pass through the halos in a specific order?" Asked a Hufflepuff girl you didn’t recognize. 

“Yes, you miss one, you have to do another lap to get it,” Alex responded “Any other questions?” 

You shook your head, but then smirked and raised your hand “Yeah,” you said confidently “When do we start?”

James looked at you, looking slightly impressed by your boldness, he wanted that kind of confidence in the next Quidditch match. 

“We start now,” Delilah said with a smile and motioned for you to walk out. More people had piled around the starting line, and they cheered as you and all the competitors walked out. Looking around, you realised there was even more merchandise going around now. Most students just had something themed after their house, but a good deal of them had some of those same pins and flags and posters with your faces on them. 

You turned to Marlene with a shrug “How did that happen?” 

“Johnny Ackley,” she told you. 

You shrugged, remembering the name “Same kid with an illegal brewery hidden in his room?” 

“Imogen told me he says he’s an entrepreneur,” she explained “She said she thinks we should all charge him a fee for using our faces without permission.” She then pointed at the crowd “he’s clearly making a good buck from it.” 

You shrugged “I’m just really curious… How did he get pictures of us? I mean, you all make sense but, I’ve been here for like, a month?”

Marlene smiled, “It seems you’re gonna have to accept the fact that you’re popular now.”

You laughed “I guess I’ll be when I win.” 

“Second place, you mean?” She asked with a smile. And the two of you chuckled. 

Suddenly Dimitry’s voice boomed, amplified by his wand, “Contestants, on your marks!” 

You winked at Marlene and walked towards the line that had your name on it. You could easily see the first bright light halo in front of you. Sirius was next to you on the line-up, and Minho stood on the other side. Both already mounting their brooms. 

“Positions!” He said. Everyone kicked the floor and started hovering about half a metre above the ground, “The race starts when you see the sparks.”

The four team captains arranged themselves in a line, parallel to you and the rest of the competitors. They all raised their wands, and in an instant, sparks from the colour of their houses left their wands at once. You sped up straight towards the first halo, that’d you stopped earlier on and flew right by it. Suddenly it went from white to red, you’d been the first one to reach it. 

“(Y/N) takes the lead of the race with an unprecedented acceleration towards the first halo!” You heard someone’s voice, starting to narrate what was happening. You were not aware you’d have a narrator. 

But you paid no mind to it, to anything really, you were focused on darting as fast as you could towards the next halo, that you saw just a couple of metres above the courtyard. It was still white, which meant, you were still at the head, you smiled at the thought. 

Out of nowhere, you saw a bright flash of red pass by you, Marlene had surpassed you, and she was first to cross the next halo. You smirked and picked up some more speed, swiftly going round the astronomy tower, beating her to the next one. You saw a flash of green to your side, the handsome but dangerous Slytherin boy surpassed you. He’s fast, you thought, but not as fast as me. 

You leaned in closer to the broom, to reduce the friction, and darted past him like an arrow. Claiming the first spot yet again. Sirius caught up with you quickly “On your left,” he said before he dived straight toward the floor, getting the next halo first. You smiled, shaking your head before catching up to him.

“Was it fun while it lasted?” you asked him with a smirk as you passed him and took the next halo. 

The race was tight, you could hear the way the brooms from your peers whistled as they coursed through the air at such high speeds. Regulus passed you a couple of times, but you regained your spot every single one of them.  By the end of the first lap, you were still at the head of the race. 

When you passed the finish line, all the halos were reset to white, ready for the contestants to pass through them as fast as possible, but things were slightly different now, thick stormy clouds had piled on one side of the castle.

 “Competitors look more than ready to take up the second part of the race!” the commentator said excitedly “Be careful, things may not be as easy as they were previously.”  

Those whims of the weather were not natural, which meant the captains had probably created them as part of their setbacks. The minute you crossed the first hoop you felt strong wind throwing you back. And not only that, but the atmosphere was becoming foggy too. You turned your head to James, who was casually looking up at you from where he was, he didn’t even have to see your face to tell you were giving him a reproachful look about it, so he shrugged in response, a playful smile appearing on his face. 

You exhaled, shaking your head before looking up ahead again, the wind was very strong, barely letting you move at all, even as you tried flying full speed. Sirius and Holden, who were much taller and heavier than you, used that to their advantage and overtook you. Marlene was fighting the wind a couple metres to your side and the Hufflepuff girl that you’d met earlier was behind the two of you. 

Pushing through was not going to be enough, you had to find another way to get out of the air current. When Minho passed by, you moved straight behind him, using his weight and height to your favour, you flew as close as possible to him, so you could actually move ahead. Marlene and the Hufflepuff girl took your example and did the exact same thing with two other boys that were passing by them. 

“You having fun there?” Minho asked. 

You laughed “Got a good view of that back all the girls fawn over,” you replied. 

“Do they?” He asked with a smirk, that you couldn’t really see. 

“As if you didn’t know,” you replied. Once the wind started to die down you accelerated again, flying next to Minho for a second. “Thanks for that love!” you said before passing by and launching yourself behind Holden and Sirius, who were fighting for the first spot. 

Minho just laughed and accelerated behind you too, not quite enough to surpass you, but still trailing behind you just a little. The weather was now turning foggy, and you could hear the thunder approaching, or rather, you were the one rapidly approaching it. In between the fog, you spotted one of the white halos and dived straight towards it. Sirius and Holden, who were just a couple of metres ahead of you, saw it. The halo a lot clearer now than it was earlier since it had turned red. 

You smiled “You can still go back and not fall behind that much,” you shouted at the two. 

“Yeah, we’d only be falling behind you, wouldn’t we?” Asked Holden as he took a sharp turn back and flew past you in the other direction. 

“Not my fault you boys are blind,” you said waving at Sirius with a smile as he passed by you, straight towards Holden. You took your chance and accelerated as much as possible, hoping to leave the boys behind.

 When you entered the rain you gasped, the droplets were so cold it might as well have been snow, your googles started fogging up, so you passed your sleeve over them to clean them, spotting another one of the Halos a couple of metres in front of you, next to one of the windows of the astronomy tower. But then you heard the thick rumbling of thunder and saw a lighting bolt shoot straight next to your right. You flew sidewards as it almost fell on your face, and then another bolt shot through your left, giving you little to time to react “Fucking hell Potter!” You shouted, even if no one could hear you, with the thick rain and the rumbling of thunder “What the fuck were you thinking when you planned this race?!”

You finally managed to pass through the halo and sped to the next one near the top. At some point you heard someone scream, the Hufflepuff girl had been hit by a lightning bolt a couple of metres behind and she was falling. You looked at her preoccupied and took your wand out “arresto momentum,” you shouted, same spell Lily had used on you a couple of weeks back. The girl stopped falling for a second and then went back, only a couple of feet down. You heard a cry of pain as she fell on her wrist, and you were about to fly towards her when you spotted some people were already running towards her. You gulped and went back to the race. That could’ve been you. 

As you continued flying, you finally out flew the lighting, apparently it was only near the spot of that particular halo. But the rain was still heavy and the wind was still blowing, cold against your skin. You narrowed your eyes when you saw another halo, just above the forbidden forest, near the spot where you’d found and helped Fang. You dived towards it and did a sharp turn ahead right before hitting one of the trees. As you out flew the rain, the cold wind made you shiver, but you pushed through, you were determined to win this race. If there was something you just couldn’t shake off, it was how competitive you were. 

Another halo shone brightly over one of the towers, and you launched yourself upwards as fast as possible, being beaten by none other than Barty. When he crossed the halo it turned green but then turned maroon.  You passed right behind, catching up to him. “You missed that one,” you said pointing to the one above the trees “You’re gonna have to do another lap.” 

He looked at you with loathing, and flew towards you really fast, if he wasn’t going to win, you weren’t either. Thankfully you were faster, and instead of playing along, you decided to launch forward towards the finish line, leaving Barty behind. Once you crossed it, some sparks flew by, you’d been the first one to reach it, one more time. “And (Y/N)’s speed knows no bounds! Even after falling behind due to the strong wind, she’s still at the head of the race.” 

One more lap, you thought, Just one more. The rain and the thunder were gone, and you easily flew through a couple of halos before you realised where they were taking you. All the halos that you could see were all darting into one direction, and one direction only: The Forbidden Forest. 

You were still going through the halos as fast as possible, but hesitated when one of them led you straight through a dark circle of trees in the forest. Holden was the one to pass you this time, followed by Sirius who smiled at your hesitance “You scared?” He teased as he buzzed by. 

You smiled, that was all the convincing you needed “Just giving you some advantage!” You shouted at him as you followed closely behind. You were flying just by Sirius' side, the two of you moving like clockwork when you had to take a sharp turn or move up and down when thicker branches approached. You saw shadows in the threes as you buzzed by, eyes staring from the distance. James had warned some of the creatures he knew there’d be people flying by, and they were all watching the race just as gleefully as the wizards were. 

“Why are you still tailing me? Scared of going deeper into the forest by yourself?” Sirius teased further. 

You smiled, “Was just keepin’ ya company,” you said before flying over a thick branch and overtaking him, “but I guess I’ll comply to your wish and take over.” 

Sirius smiled at your trick and rounding over a tree he took the lead again “You were saying?”

You chuckled lightly, and continued flying closely, the two of you constantly overtaking each other to take the lead. The coordination the two of you had together in the air, made you look like you had practised and planned it before, reality was, the two of you had flown together so many times by then, that you could pretty much predict his movements, and he could do the same to yours. Even in the middle of the race, in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, that was absolutely terrifying to you since those nightmares started happening, you were having fun. In fact, you were absolutely thrilled. 

So focused on each other you didn’t even notice the moment you left the thick woods, and went back to the school grounds, allowing the two of you to pick up the pace once more. You saw Holden, who’d passed the two of you earlier and turned to Sirius “Pleasure flying alongside you, as always,” you said, giving him the classic navy salute before flying as fast as possible towards Holden. Towards the whomping willow.

Sirius looked at the Halo in between the branches and his diverted expressions suddenly turned awry “She doesn’t know what the tree is,” he whispered to himself and tried to catch up with you. When he finally managed, you were already entering the range of the tree. “(Y/N),” he screamed “Whomping Willow!” 

You turned to him with a diverted smile, was he trying to trick you to slow down? There was no way there was a whopping willow on Hogwarts grounds. It was too dangerous. “Sure thing Sirius, and watch out for the troll behind you!” You replied with a smile. 

Sirius looked at you worried as a thick branch shot straight towards you, the tree wasn’t holding itself back. And you were not looking ahead, you were looking at him. So he did the only thing he could think of, he flew as close as possible to you and threw himself at you, pushing the two of you off your brooms. 

The moment you fell off your broom, you were shocked since you saw the thick branch hit your Dark Nimbus and Sirius’ Sweepfire, splitting the first one in two and sending the latter, along with the pieces of yours flying, further away, deeper inside the forest. When you fell to the floor the two of you rolled down the hill for a couple of metres before finally stopping. Sirius was still holding you tightly, even as you lay out of the Whomping Willow’s reach. 

You could hear his heart drumming in his chest as you tried to regain your breath “Pourquoi es-tu tellement foutrement têtu?” He asked in between thick breaths, why are you so fucking stubborn?, thank god you spoke french. 

You were still on top of him when you used your arms to push yourself upwards, to see him better, removing your goggles in a swift motion and frowning as you spoke “You– you saved me… You could’ve used the advantage, Sirius, you could’ve won the race!” 

“For what? You would’ve been unfairly eliminated, it wouldn’t have meant anything.” 

“You would’ve won against everyone else!” You spat back, matter of factly “Or… did you only care about beating me?” You asked frown deepening, did he still harbour animosity after what’d happened years ago?

Sirius’ hair was sprawled on the floor, he was looking at you with worry still, it looked beautiful on him. “Well duh, I’m only in this race because it was your idea in the first place!” 

You looked taken aback by that, pulling your head just a little. What did he just say? “Sirius you… Are you still angry about what happened back then?” 

“What? NO!” He scowled, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. 

“I don’t understand–“ 

“–I bIoody well fancy you, alright!?” He confessed, voice  loud, dripping with emotion “I fucking liked you when we met and I still like you now, and it’s eating me alive, I can’t get you out of my bIoody head and it’s consuming me whole!” 

You stared at him for a second, he was already regretting what he said, thinking maybe he could play it out as a joke, even if it were a bad-taste one. But you weren’t about to reject him, you were trying to process what had happened. And so, instead of replying, you did the only natural thing you could, and leaned in to kiss him. He was surprised for a mere second before following the kiss, desperately. You were both desperate for each other, two years of pent-up emotions were finally being let out. 

The second kiss you gave Sirius Black was nothing and everything like the first one. His lips were as soft as you remembered, his hair, since he’d been on the rainy parts of the race, was just as wet, and he still tasted of mint, but that was about where the similarities ended. You’d both grown, you’d both only seen each other in dreams for years, and even if you’d kissed him several times in those, none of those kisses had felt like this one. 

Sirius was bigger and stronger now, his muscles tensed beneath you, his jaw sharper, the idea of a five o’clock shadow barely perceptible, brushing through your soft skin. And you were soft, so bIoody soft. As you lay atop of him, Sirius couldn’t quite believe how tender you were, even more than he remembered, softer than you had been in his dreams. He didn’t let go of you as you continued to kiss, only placing his hands over your waist, tightening his grip when your tongues finally crossed paths. You moved your hands towards his hair, toying with it as your lips danced together. 

The two of you split apart due to the imminent need of oxygen, staring at each other between heavy breaths for a second, Sirius’ pupils were blown out, lips pink and slightly swollen, you could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed beneath you, and you smiled, looking at him with a mischievous air before leaning in to kiss him again. Succumbing to an euphoria he had long yearned for, he tightened his grip around you and turned the two of you around, letting your hair fall gently over the grass as he used one of his forearms to keep the entirety of his weight from crushing you. You smiled, almost laughing at how desperate he seemed, he was as thirsty for your lips as you had been for his. So long, you thought, why on earth hadn’t you done this before? 

Sirius was a better kisser than you remembered, you moved your hands –that had ended up on his chest when he turned you around– further up, letting his soft hair entangle between your fingers, his ponytail gone at some point, perhaps during the race, perhaps as you kissed him over and over again. The moment you pushed him closer to you, a chill ran through Sirius’ body and he deepened the kiss, wishing to drown in you. He wasn’t sure there were enough kisses in this world to quench his long-contained thirst.

You heard a faint blow of a cannon and cheers erupted from a far away crowd. You separated from him, lips parted and heavy breaths as you looked into his bright bluish-grey eyes “I think we lost,” you breathed out.

He stared at you for a second  and shook his head as he said “I don’t think we lost anything.” He then planted a short kiss on your lips. You smiled and then laughed as he let himself fall on the ground beside you. 

“We’re literally the reason the race was even made in the first place,” you told him as you stared at the sky, now icy blue, just like his eyes. Some of the shadow from the Whomping Willow’s branches tracing patterns along your skin.  

“They can suck it,” he said with a smile, the two of you laughed again. Sirius’s hand reached for yours, you could feel his rings brushing over your skin as your fingers intertwined. 

“We really should do races more often,” you told him with a smile, “neither of us wins in the end, but–” 

Sirius laughed “–We always end up making out.” 

“Does this mean we’re a thing  now?” You asked casually. 

He smiled cockily at your question “You think I’d let you go now that I can kiss you when I please?”

You chuckled “Good!” The air between the two of you felt heavy, but reassuring, the silence was somehow comforting, but you broke it nonetheless “Can I still call you Puppy?” 

Sirius frowned “Of course not!” 

“And what if I  give you a kiss for every time I call you that?” You asked with a smirk. 

Sirius turned to you impressed. “If you kiss me like today, you can call me whatever the hell you please starshine.”  

 You laughed at his answer but nodded “Excellent.” 

You stayed like that for a while, hands intertwined, listening to each other's breaths. You raised your hand along with his, admiring how the two of them looked together before you took a deep breath and spoke “We should probably go back. They’ll start looking for us.” 

“What about your broom?” 

You frowned and pointed towards the forest “The pieces flew off in that direction. Yours seemed to be whole. They can’t be too far.” 

“Accio Sweepfire!” Sirius said, using his free hand to wave his wand towards the forest, nothing happened. 

“Accio Dark Nimbus!” you said then, the top part of your broom came flying by, the sweeping part did not, “They must be stuck somewhere.” 

“I’ll get them,” he said standing up “Wait for me here, yeah?” You nodded, and reluctantly let go of his hand. Watching him as he went deep into the forest. You smiled and let yourself fall to the ground with a long sigh. 

Sirius had turned into a dog the moment he stepped into the forest, using his great sense of smell to find his broom and the rest of yours faster. He found his first, and went back into human form to grab the other side of yours, while flying. He did it all in a matter of minutes and flew back to where he’d left you. He smiled when he saw you lying on the grass, with your eyes closed, just enjoying the moment, he hovered over you, using his hand to cast a shadow over your eyes, so that the sun wouldn’t disturb you. You opened your eyes and smiled when you realised what he was doing “Found it?” 

He nodded, and showed you the bottom side of your broom, so much for the fastest broom in the world. “I don’t think it’s got any repairing.” 

“No shit Sherlock,” you responded as you stood up, the other side of the broken handle held tightly in your hand. He motioned for you to join him as he hovered very close to the floor. 

You passed your hand over the handle of his broom, it was worn, but didn’t seem like it’d gotten too damaged with the blow, your broom had probably absorbed most of the punch, you sighed and mounted it behind him. You casually placed a hand over his shoulder, as you accommodated the pieces of your nimbus in between the two of you.

“You should grab on tighter, we wouldn’t want you to fall again,” Sirius said with a smirk. 

You rolled your eyes but complied, closing the gap between the two of you and practically hugging him from behind, you then leaned your head over his shoulder and whispered “Don’t test your luck, Black.”  

Sirius smiled at your answer and glided forward in his broom, very fast, straight towards the end of the finish line. When you two arrived people looked relieved. Rumour was going around that you’d actually gotten hit by the Whomping Willow, and that you both laid unconscious somewhere in the forest.

“They’re all right!” Someone shouted when they spotted you, pointing straight at you in the air, some of the other competitors were already preparing to go in your search.

When the two of you landed close to the finish line, James approached, a guilty-looking expression filled his face “You alright?”

“No thanks to you,” Sirius spat “The Whomping Willow? Really!?” 

James looked to the side, distressed “It was Dimity’s idea,” James tried to explain “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, it would’ve been a great trial for flying reflexes. And everyone in the school knew about it…” 

“Yeah, except for me.” You told him, raising both parts of your broken broom in the air for him to see. 

He cringed when he realised how broken they were. “I’m sorry,” he said guiltily. “Did it… did it hit you?” 

You shook your head “Sirius was fast enough to catch up with me and throw me off my broom before it hit it.” You explained “We were both at the lead, well, Holden was ahead of us… Sirius would’ve probably won if–“ 

“–You would’ve won,” Sirius corrected. “Had it not been for the tree, you would have overtook Holden in seconds.” 

James looked at the two of you puzzled, you’d been fighting over who was the best and the fastest for weeks, and now you just… gave each other the win? “I should’ve warned you.” 

“I should’ve been looking ahead,” you said, trying to ease James’ from the guilt that was clearly eating him up “I was so busy boasting that I wasn’t looking at my path… It’s true I didn’t expect a Whomping Willow but , it wasn’t entirely your fault.” You said in a serious tone, but changed to a more animated one “But the race was insane, the lighting and the weather changes, how did you even get permission for it? It was brilliant!” 

“We didn’t,” he admitted “All the captains have bathroom cleaning duty for 2 weeks because of what happened to Matilda.” 

“The Hufflepuff girl?” You asked concerned “Is she alright? I saw her fall, heard her scream.”

James nodded “She told us about your spell. Her broom was struck, but she wasn’t.”

“We made sure no contestant would get struck by them,” Delilah intervened. While it was true that the lightning had been following you around on that spot of the race, it never seemed to hit you in particular. 

“They were charmed,” you concluded. 

James nodded and continued “Thanks to you taking the time to save her, she only broke her wrist. She should be back in shape soon.” 

“But the quidditch lineup was altered,” proceeded Lionel, who had also walked towards you “Hufflepuff won’t be playing on the first match. Which means-“ he looked at Sirius and then at you “we’ll be playing each other.”

By then Lily, Marlene and Mary had rushed towards you too, pushing people around to get to where you both stood. You saw Remus jogging behind them too. Lily was the first one to jump on you, placing both of her hands over your arms "Are you all right?" She asked, voice laced with concern, carefully scanning your face and then all of your body. 

"Yeah," you nodded. "Sirius pushed me off the broom before the tree got to it,” you explained again, "he also broke most of the fall,” you added when she looked at you with apprehension. 

"What about this?" She asked, pulling your hair back and running her finger over a small cut you’d gotten in your cheek, you winced. 

"Must have gotten it when we rolled down the hill," you shrugged “I hadn’t noticed I had it.” 

She nodded, finally letting go of you and turning to the longed-haired boy "And you Sirius?"

He smiled at her concern "I’m all right, thanks Evans… A little scratched up and beaten down, but… I saved the girl, and it was definitely worth it.” 

You snorted lightly at that, most people didn’t notice, but one person did, Remus. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the two of you since he spotted you. And he noticed something was definitely different between the two. The tension, it was gone, replaced by something else, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. 

The announcer mentioned something about you and Sirius being alright, and how it was finally time for the lineup, which reminded you “That’s right? Who won?” The air seemed to turn a little uncomfortable, like no one wanted to mention it. 

Finally, Mary answered “It was Regulus,” she said somberly, but then pointed at one of your friends with a smile “Marlene got second and Minho was third.” 

You looked around, spotting Regulus in the distance, being congratulated by all of his friends, and even some other people. He seemed almost popular. If they knew the kind of snake he was, you thought, before turning to Marlene with a huge smile, “Congratulations!” 

She smiled at that “If you hadn’t–“

“–NO! Marlene, you're brilliant! I saw you…” you said and placed a hand on her shoulder, pushing her slightly towards you so you could whisper something in her ear “You’re the best beater of the team, remember?” 

She smiled brightly at that, and winked before following James towards the makeshift podium where he’d hand in the trophy he bought and some medals the other captains had gotten. 

Regulus seemed genuinely happy when James handed the trophy to him, and he was, Walburga would be so proud he beat his brother in the race, she might actually stop pestering him about the DeathEater ritual. When it was Marlene’s turn, and Lionel placed a medal over her shoulders, you couldn’t stop clapping, you saw some camera flashes taking pictures, and realised Alex was taking some of them. You smiled and wondered what place he’d gotten, and felt a little sad you wouldn’t be playing against him in the next game. 

Once the whole ceremonial thing was over, everyone started walking back to the castle. Regulus looked like he wanted to approach you, but when your eyes locked on each other you turned your head and smiled at Lily, and Mary, since you’d been talking to them. Regulus nodded, turning his head and walking back to the common room along with Barty, and Evan, who were still cheering on him.

“When we just couldn’t get past those strong winds and you straight up used Minho as a windbreaker, that was brilliant!” Marlene said with a smile. “How did you even think of it?” 

You shrugged “We weren’t gonna beat them unless we did something, could’ve used our wands for a propelling spell, but I wasn’t sure it was allowed, then Minho passed by me, and you know how he’s got these really big strong shoulders? So I thought, hey! I could use that.”

“Big strong shoulders, huh?”  Remus teased. 

You looked at him with a little smile “Objectively speaking, yeah,” you responded. 

Mary nodded in agreement “I heard some girls fawning over them in the bathrooms, and paid a closer look next time he was around. (Y/N) is right. He’s got big strong shoulders.” 

“He does,” added Marlene, eyeing him from behind, “Like a Dorito.” 

Everyone laughed at her comment. Sirius, who had gone off earlier came back “Who’s like a Dorito?” 

“Minho, with his sexy back,” Remus responded casually, and added, “according to the girls.”  

Sirius raised his eyebrows and looked at you “Does he?” 

You looked at him with a smile and decided to tease him “Oh yeah, definitely.” 

“And you like big strong backs, don’t you?” he pressed. 

You laughed at that, Sirius was definitely smaller than Minho, but he was way prettier, at least in your eyes “I wouldn’t know, I don’t really focus on those things. I’m more of a pretty face kind of person.” 

Lily laughed at that “I can attest to it,” she agreed. Eventually, your group also went back to the castle, everyone smiling and merrily talking about the race, everyone was fine, everyone was happy.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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Raead more Marauders Fiction

[shitsndgiggs]

Hi!!! Your Fics are so amazing I felt like I just needed to tell you that. I was also wondering if you would write for Barış Alper? If not I totally understand. If so could you write one where the reader goes to a game (possibly the derby fener vs gala) and she’s sitting with the fans and they get a little crazy and something happens to her and he finds out after the game and just is all panicked but comforts her and showers reader with love?

MATCHDAY MAYHEM - BARIŞ ALPER YILMAZ

In which you get hurt at one of his games

Barış Alper Yılmaz x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The roar of the crowd was deafening as I made my way to my seat, my heart pounding with anticipation.

The atmosphere at the Galatasaray vs. Fenerbahçe match was electric, the stadium alive with energy.

This was one of the biggest games of the year, and I was here to support Barış. But the sheer volume of people and the intensity of the fans around me made my social anxiety flare up.

I took a deep breath and found my seat among the Galatasaray supporters. They were already chanting and waving their flags, a sea of red and yellow.

I tried to focus on the positive, reminding myself that I was here for Barış, that he would be proud to know I was in the stands cheering him on.

As the game started, I found myself getting swept up in the excitement. The first half was intense, with both teams playing aggressively.

I cheered loudly with the rest of the fans. But as halftime approached, things took a turn.

Fenerbahçe scored a goal just before the whistle, and the Galatasaray fans around me erupted in frustration. The atmosphere grew tense and hostile, and I could feel my anxiety creeping back.

I tried to keep my composure, but the noise and the pushing from the crowd became overwhelming.

"Get up, we need to show them we're not giving up!" a man shouted, pulling me to my feet. I stumbled, trying to stay balanced, but the crowd was too much. I felt a sharp pain in my ankle as I was jostled and knocked to the ground.

I gasped, tears springing to my eyes as I tried to get up. The pain was excruciating, and I felt trapped in the mass of bodies. Panic set in, and I struggled to breathe.

"Hey, are you alright?" a concerned voice called out, but I couldn't respond. My vision blurred with tears, and the noise was too much.

Eventually, halftime arrived, and the crowd began to thin out slightly. I managed to hobble to a quieter area, clutching my ankle. A kind fan helped me to a seat and called for medical assistance.

"Just breathe, you're going to be okay," the fan said, patting my shoulder reassuringly. I nodded, trying to calm myself.

The medics arrived and quickly assessed my injury. "It's a sprain," one of them said. "We'll get you some ice and bandage it up."

As they worked, my thoughts turned to Barış. He had no idea what had happened. I wanted to text him, but I knew he was focused on the game. I didn't want to distract him.

The second half of the game passed in a blur. I tried to watch, but the pain and the anxiety made it hard to focus.

Finally, the final whistle blew, and I heard the cheers of the Galatasaray fans. They had won.

I saw the players celebrating on the field, Barış among them. My heart swelled with pride, but I also felt a pang of sadness.

I wanted to share this moment with him, to tell him how proud I was.

As the stadium began to empty, I stayed in my seat, unsure of how to get to Barış. Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a message.

Barış: Where are you? I'm coming to find you.

Relief washed over me as I texted back.

Me: I'm still in the stands. Sprained my ankle, but I'm okay.

A few minutes later, I saw Barış running towards me, his face a mixture of worry and relief. "What happened?" he asked, kneeling beside me and taking my hand.

"I got caught in the crowd during halftime," I explained, my voice shaky. "It's just a sprain."

He looked at me with such concern that it brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there," he said, his voice filled with guilt.

"It's not your fault," I reassured him, squeezing his hand. "You were amazing out there."

"You're what's important," he said firmly, helping me to my feet. "Let's get you home."

He wrapped his arm around me, supporting me as we made our way out of the stadium. Despite the pain, I felt a sense of calm wash over me with Barış by my side.

When we got home, Barış settled me on the couch, propping up my foot with pillows and wrapping me in a blanket. "Stay here, I'll get you some ice and tea," he said, kissing my forehead.

I watched him move around the kitchen, my heart swelling with love and gratitude.

Despite the pain and the anxiety, the day had ended in the best possible way – wrapped in the love and care of the person who meant everything to me.

As he handed me a steaming cup of tea, he sat beside me and took my hand again. "I'm so glad you're okay," he said softly, kissing my forehead.

"I am," I replied, smiling up at him. "Thanks to you."

[yxngbxkkie]

#1 3RACHA supporter

okay, so i think this is the cutest thing on earth. my last installment of 3racha in NY for global citizens, and i'm so proud of myself for getting three fics out in two days 😌 i hope you guys enjoy it! let's hope my creative juices will stay with me 🫢💓

feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰

This is all for Jisung. This is all for Jisung. You keep repeating to yourself. You and your best friend flew to New York to surprise your boyfriend's, Jisung and Chan, at the festival they're performing at. What you didn't expect was a monsoon.

The two of you managed to make it to the front of the crowd, having the perfect view of the stage. Excitement flows through your veins as you wait for 3RACHA to take the stage.

You glance down at the Han Quokka skzoo in your hands, adjusting the shirt it's wearing. Someone beside you nudges your arm, causing you to glance over to see your best friend.

"Are you okay?" She asks you, a look of concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry! I'm just getting a little impatient," you chuckle, moving your wet hair out of your eyes. "We haven't been able to see them for weeks on end. I just want to see my baby."

The shorter woman rests a hand on your arm, comforting you. "I know. They'll be on stage soon!" She reassures you with a smile.

You shiver underneath the orange poncho you're wearing as your eyes drift back up to the stage. You squeeze the quokka in your hands, feeling the excess water dripping down your hands.

The announcer calls out 3RACHA's name, causing you to jump slightly. People around you start screaming as a video plays on the blocked television screen.

A smile comes to your lips when you see Jisung on the screen. Your heart pounds against your chest as the Stray Kids anthem begins to play.

You glance down at your friend, seeing her Wolf Chan sitting in front of the lower part of her face. You shake her shoulder in excitement, bringing your gaze back to the stage.

A gasp escapes your list as you can see your friends and boyfriend standing on the side, their gazes settled on the crowd. You quickly turn to your friend, almost yelling into her ear where they're standing so she can see Chan.

"Oh my god," she says loud enough for you to hear.

"I know, I know. There's our boys," you almost cry, feeling the tears begin to well up.

The first song they perform is 3RACHA, a classic for this trio. You keep your eyes trained on Jisung the entire time, waiting for his eyes to meet yours.

You capture multiple pictures and videos of the members, feeling proud that they're here. When they finish their song, they start talking about all the problems in the world and that they need our help to make a difference.

Heyday is the next song, and you bounce in your spot, dancing and singing along to them. Jisung walks over towards where you're standing, and you stand on your toes, trying your best to capture his attention.

"Han Jisung, I love you!" You scream out, waving your skzoo around.

You grin widely as your gaze meets his. He continues to rap his verse, and you watch his boba eyes widen. You swiftly point to your best friend as well, conveying the message to let Chan know.

Jisung finishes his verse, giving you a subtle nod before throwing out a heart. Stays around you scream at his action, causing your heart to flutter.

After 3RACHA's set is over, you and your friend make your way out of the crowd. You can feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, and you fish it out before answering it.

"Hanji, you guys did amazing," you greet him instantly, smiling ear to ear.

"You guys are here?! For real?!" He asks excitingly. A chuckle leaves your lips, and you assure him that you're really here. "Where are you guys? I'll send Skijigi out to get you two."

You stop in your tracks as you stand by the tent that's selling food and water. "Uhm, we're right by the flag that says ultimate VIP and the tent that's selling food and drinks," you inform him, hearing him pass the message on to their manager.

"He's going out there now. It shouldn't be too long until he finds you," Jisung mentions, a quick sigh leaving his lips after. "I can't believe you're here. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, baby. I was getting so impatient waiting for you to perform," you laugh into the phone, tucking some wet hair behind your ears. "Hey, do you by chance have extra clothes?"

You can hear Jisung rummage through his bag as he mumbles incoherently to himself. He lets you know that he indeed does have extra clothes you can change into.

"I see Skijigi! I'll see you in a minute, baby," you mention, tapping your friend's shoulder before heading in his direction.

"Okay, I love you."

You smile fondly. "I love you too."

You bid each other goodbye before you hang up, slipping your phone back into your pocket. Skijigi greets the two of you with a quick hug before leading you to where 3RACHA is.

As soon as you see Jisung, you're sprinting. You weave around people walking, throwing out an apology before colliding into your boyfriend's arms.

"My baby," Jisung whispers into your ear, twirling you around. "You're so beautiful."

You laugh at his compliment, knowing for a fact you look like a hot mess. "Such a charmer, Hanji," you grin, placing your hands on his cheeks.

He leans forward to capture your lips in a quick kiss. "I gotta keep you around somehow," Jisung jokes after pulling away.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head. "You don't even have to try, baby," you confess to him, resting your forehead on his.

"Thank you for coming. I'm so grateful for you," Jisung whispers while setting you back on your feet.

"Of course, baby. I'm your number one 3RACHA supporter," you wink, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Changbin laughs as he walks by the two of you, shaking his head at how dramatic you both can be. Jisung grins, scrunching his nose slightly. "Yes, you are, my baby."

~

tagging: @thewxntersoldier @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n

[iluvshinytwink]

heyy so i have a rq bc god save me your angst writings are the best ✨

i was wondering if you could write a lil fic abt Jude where he cheats on the reader and she finds out via social media and then she breaks things off and he's super broken and stuff and he all of a sudden remembers all the happy memories and the ending is bittersweet and there's no fluff except for the memories? like the ending is super sad?

you're writing is actually the best i've read in tumblr like girl publish a book already 😍

Lovefool - Jude Bellingham

"Dear I fear we're facing a problem. You love me no longer, I know and maybe there's nothing that I can do, to make you do."

Now Playing . . . Lovefool by The Cardigans

It's crazy how a few hours night out could break your relationship with someone/ The mind makes you do things, your body makes you do things, your emotions make you do things you know deep down in your heart you'll regret when you wake up in the morning. And yet you still do it.

Jude went out with his teammates to celebrate a huge win for their season. You declined Jude's offer to accompany him and he accepted your refusal with a small smile.

You remember bidding your boyfriend goodbye as he stepped into his car, waving your hand with a smile.

"Be back before 2." you said. Jude pops his head out his window with a smile. "Okay, ma." Jude said jokingly.

You went back in the house as the car drove away from the driveway and the hours ticked to what would be the end of your relationship.

You woke up in your bed as usual, the air around you felt awkwardly cold. Your head turns beside you and the side of your bed was left empty. The sheets you didn't hog and you reserved for your boyfriend was still there, clean and untouched. A red flag went off in your mind. Something was wrong but you didn't know whether to panic or stay calm.

Your hand reaches for your cellphone. Your lockscreen was filled with notifications. Twitter and Instagram quickly filled your notifications. Your eyebrows knit in confusion.

You clicked on one of the notifications and it leads you to Twitter where a video plays.

In the video, the atmosphere was dark and the only source of lights were artificial lights coloring red, blue, and yellow. The camera shakes and the music was loud. The camera then pans to a man, a man you knew all too well. A man that you found was your boyfriend.

Jude's hand was secured on the girl's neck as the camera's flash helped you see that Jude and this girl's lips were connecting.

Your heart dropped and a lump crawled up your throat. Your head spun as you tried to contain your thoughts. You felt sick. The video kept playing and your hand instinctively threw the phone into the bed.

Your hand touched your mouth as tears quickly fell from your eyes. You sobbed into your hand. Your body shook.

Did he love you no longer? Did he drop signs that you were too love-sick to see?

Did he lose feelings whilst you clung onto them?

That wasn't Jude, that couldn't be Jude. You thought to yourself as more tears brimmed your eyes.

Suddenly, you hear the front door open. Your heart dropped once more.

Why would he do this to me, to himself? You thought.

Footsteps began ascending the stairs. Your teeth bit into the palm of your hand as you tried to think of something, anything but the video you just saw.

What were you going to do? Turn a blind eye and act like you saw nothing? Or face him for what he did wrong and risk losing the person you spent loving for all these years?

Before you could conclude to your final answer a figure appears on your bedroom door.

Jude.

Your stomach twisted into knots and you felt sick once more. Jude looked at you with a tired and sympathetic expression.

He knew what he did.

And by the tears streaming down your face, you did too.

Your hand removes from your mouth, Jude feels his heart breaking away.

You stood up with shaky legs.

"Why?" you whispered. Jude's hand began accumulating sweat as his heart began beating out of his chest.

He asked himself the same thing. Why? Why did he do this to you? After years he had loved you unconditionally, why?

"I'm sorry." he croaked, tears of his own slipping down his cheek.

Your legs walked toward him. You didn't know what to do, what to think. You loved Jude, you did. But did he love you back after what he had done to you?

"I thought you loved me." you whispered, looking into his eyes. "I do, baby. I love you so much." he whispered, his hand shaking. He wanted to hug you, to kiss you. But he knew dee down you wouldn't kiss back. He knew that if he kissed your lips, your lips were loyal to him, and his weren't.

His eyes were glossed with tears and feelings. Emotions that you could only describe as pity and sadness. But those were the eyes you longed to look at everyday. The eyes which you loved. The eyes that once looked at you with nothing but adoration.

You wanted to find in the depths of your heart any sympathy you had to forgive him because you wanted to believe that he truly did love you. His lips were yours even if his lips kissed another.

"You don't mean that." you hissed. "If you did, you wouldn't have done that to me." you looked at Jude in his eyes once more. His eyes broke underneath yours. Your eyes were glossy from old and new tears and it was because of him.

"I'm sorry." Jude whispered, his hand nearing to touch your shoulder which your hand quickly flicked away. "Don't." you said lowly.

You slipped out the bedroom door, quickly making your way down the stairs leaving Jude by himself and his thoughts.

There was nothing you could do. If he had fallen out of love, you would accept that. If you spent your years loving him for all of that to be thrown away in a night, you would accept that. If you could accept the fact that the lips you thought were yours and yours alone, you could.

Minutes pass and Jude hears the door slams shut.

Jude looks down on the ground, tears falling.

Memories quickly surge his mind.

Never again would he hold your hands when he was nervous, happy, or sad. Never would he hear your laughter that echoed throughout his mind every time he heard it. Never would he see the smile that made his heart ache. And never would he hear the heartbeat that once beated for him and only him.

The eyes that once looked at him lovingly with nothing but love, looked at him with hatred. The lips that brought words of affirmation and affection spat venom and acid.

The heart that mended his own, he broke.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

As a longtime fan, I’ve noticed that your characterization of Tom has changed over time (Tom in Amulet and TMWWBK resemble each other greatly but not so much the Tom in October or to an even greater extent Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus)

Is that the result of the various AUs you guys have built? Or is it that your interpretation of Tom has changed as you’ve worked with him?

Both?

The thing about Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus especially, well, all fics then (Androids, October, etc.), is that they were intended to be extremely AU.

In Lily, right away we're told this is a parallel universe that has marked differences, and that Tom Riddle is not acting like the Tom Riddle that Uncle Death was more familiar with. He had a different number of Horcruxes than expected, he had a radically different childhood in keyways, he's recognizably Tom Riddle but supposed to be very different. This is also why Lily is, and you note it is, the radically different child over there (though even there, modern fic Tom Riddle and Wizard Lenin aren't all that dissimilar for all they look like it on the surface level).

October and Androids are similar, where I had "giant justification of why characters are different don't bother me, readers" and then we went on our merry way where Tom Riddle had enough of a different past or enough of a different something that he wasn't supposed to be canon.

They're vastly AU fics and intended to be vastly AU where I run around waving "this is not canon" flags.

But at the time, most of my thoughts on HP were, "I like the idea of X thing, canon was weird about it, I will make it even more of X thing and justify myself so readers don't bother me". I hadn't gotten into the heretical weeds yet.

More recent fics there's definitely been both a) years worth of thinking about this entirely too much in the backdrop b) a shift in priorities writing where I no longer give a fuck about being complained to by readers because I didn't match fanon or accepted canon.

This means that in The Man Who Would Be King and the like @therealvinelle and I think a little more in lines of "how would Tom as we understand him respond to X, Y, and Z" while also not having to either devote or drop things that "readers will question why things aren't explicitly how we expect them in canon and if Tom doesn't have at least one 'ew, love' speech then I will get annoying reviews".

So, it's a mix of everything you mentioned, thoughts changed, thought about this way too much, priorities changed in writing and what I want to focus on with characters, and the examples you give are either very very AU things in which crazy things happen that drastically change a character or else slightly more in line with canon if with strange things happening.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

‘’If you can’t handle a heart like mine, don’t waste your time with me.’’ with reader saying it to Marcus please Ik not getting requests is frustrating but I love your weit bf style

I've based this song on one of my favorite Nessa Barrett song 'Lovebombs' (another fic inspired by her music is in my wip). Please look her up!

—

Marcus was your favorite person, but that also made him your favorite target. It’s not what you wanted. That deep attachment made you a very loyal partner, but it had a reverse side. An ugly side.

You didn’t remember how it started — something must’ve set you off. All you remembered was being in the middle of the fight and feeling this intense hatred toward Marcus. You lashed out on him, told him horrible things. Your words had been bullets to his chest, hitting and hurting him in all the right places.

‘’Why do you keep doing this?’’ He was trying to hold it together, knowing if he let his emotion mix with yours, it would be a molotov cocktail.

‘’It’s the way I am, Marcus!’’ you snapped at him, feeling the anger inside you turn into fire. ‘’Sorry that I’m not a perfect girlfriend like Ginny. Sorry that I’m a constant ticking time bomb and ruin dates and parties.’’

‘’Why do you keep bringing Ginny into every argument?’’

The corner of your lips curled into a crooked smile. ‘’That’s an interesting question, uh? I’m not the one that still has pictures of her in my bedroom.’’

Marcus groaned. Shit. You saw them. ‘’I forgot to take them off. They don’t mean anything.’’

‘’Do you imagine her face when we have sex?’’

‘’What?!’’ Half of him wanted to laugh at your ridiculous question, but he bit his tongue. It would only add fuel to the fire. ‘’I can’t believe you’re asking me this… I love you, not Ginny. Can you stop making things up?’’

The sad truth was, you couldn't. Jumping to conclusion, blowing things out of proportion and overreacting was something you were trying really hard to control. It was unfortunately part of your mental illness.

‘’If you can’t handle a heart like mine, don’t waste your time on me.’’

Marcus punched the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying to find something to say that you won’t turn around on him. ‘’I’m not saying— I just want to understand you.’’

‘’I can’t understand myself so, good luck with that.’’ A manic laugh spilled from your mouth.

A few days had passed and an intense guilt filled your body. The war was finally over. A part of you was relieved, but the other was realizing the damages you had caused. All the pain you had caused to the person you loved the most.

With your head hung low, you knocked on Marcus’ door and waved the white flag. He accepted your apologies and wrapped you in his arms, glad the storm was finally over.

‘’I know I’m hard to love sometimes and that I make you the villain of my story. I’m sorry. I really am, Marcus. You don’t deserve all the pain I put you through. It’s not fair to pull you into my chaos.’’ Your eyes were glassy, thinking back at all the horrible things you had said to him the other night. 

He pulled back and tipped your face gently. ‘’When you love someone, you love them regardless of the whole baggage they come with.’’

You looked down. ‘’You say that now, but you’ll change your mind.’’

Marcus shook his head. ‘’Not a chance. I can handle the mean things. I’ve got thick skin.’’ He gave you a soft smile, but you didn’t reciprocate it. 

 ‘’What I said about Ginny—’’

‘’Is all forgiven and forgotten,’’ he finished, shushing you. ‘’I haven't been the most faithful person before, but I love you and that's what makes all the difference to me. I don't care that you're not perfect because I'm not either. I do impulsive things, smoke too much weed and some days I can't bring myself to leave my bed or shower. We're imperfect and it's okay. Perfect people are boring anyway.’’

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny 

[asteria-argo]

Read any good fics lately? Looking for recommendations

I'm going to be so real, I'm back in my batman hyperfixation era as scheduled so I've mostly been reading batman fanfictions currently and I'm going to hazard a guess that this ask is actually looking for Ted Lasso fic recs. HOWEVER, I do have several.

you inherit the sins, you inherit the flame by @jamietarttsnorthernattitude which I absolutely adored. It's a Rebecca POV from the funeral where she and Jamie drink wine and talk about having shit dads and I am obsessed with it.

Best Fucking Friends by H2OGIRL48 on ao3, I don't know if they have a tumblr but I really like this fic. It's quick but I enjoy myself every time I reread it

Better Angels and Barn Raising both by @altschmerzes are another two I reread often and adore every time

and finally, We're all waving flags by @jamtartandsunshine

and an honourable mention for the batman fics that I have actually read recently, the entire Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts series by @unpretty

[jamtartandsunshine]

“I don’t hate you.” Roy bites out uncomfortably. “I hate how you fucking act. You could be fucking amazing Jamie, but you can be such a little prick sometimes, and its like you know exactly what you’re doing when you fucking antagonize people, its on fucking purpose.”

[echidnapower]

Trapped In This Machine

So I'm reposting all the fics that I nuked when I left Tumblr the first time. We'll start with this one, in celebration of the return of one of my favorite Sonic the Hedgehog content creators - the amazing @e-vay, whose art HERE inspired the story. Enjoy!

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I should've realized from the beginning that something was wrong. How could I have been so blind as to not realize that something was suspiciously out of the ordinary with him? Maybe it was the extra attention he was giving me, the sudden...willingness to give affection that caused me to maybe...I dunno, not care that he was acting out of the ordinary.

He'd become everything that I wanted him to be, he was caring, affectionate, even - dare I say - loving, and all out of nowhere too. I really should've questioned it more, I should've listened to the warnings all my friends kept giving me...if I had...then maybe we wouldn't all be fighting for our very lives right now.

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"So, Amy, how's about a trip to Twinkle Park? I think they renewed that cute couples get in free promotion," Sonic leaned down a bit to grin at the pink hedgehog walking next to him. "And I can't think of any couple that would qualify more than you and me, whaddya say?"

Amy Rose blushed and giggled bashfully, playfully nudging the blue hedgehog with her shoulder before smiling up at him. To say her dream had come true would've been an understatement. Just a few days ago, she'd been wishing that Sonic would just stop beating around the bush and admit he loved her the same way she loved him...and almost as if he'd read her mind, seconds later he was at her door, offering to get some lunch with her, just the two of them.

Since then, they'd barely spent any time apart, except for sleep and necessary hygiene practices. Amy was on cloud nine, the one thing she'd always wanted had finally been given to her. Sonic the Hedgehog was hers at last, and he'd been giving her all the love she could ever ask for. "Well if you insist," she giggled again. "We might as well see what's new."

"Hey, I have an idea," he smirked. "Let's invite the gang to join us, we'll make it a group date."

At this, Amy's eyes widened and she looked up at him in shock. "Sonic, are you sure? I mean, you told me to keep it quiet for a while, I don't want-"

"Chill Ames, no big deal." Sonic shrugged. "I had a little time to think about it, and I figure that if I'm gonna be with you, I might as well let everyone know. What better way than for us to make it official at Twinkle Park?"

"Oh Sonic!" Amy lunged forward and embraced the speedy hedgehog, and held in a squeal when Sonic reciprocated the gesture. "Thank you, thank you so much!" she pulled back and ran off, waving goodbye as she looked over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go tell everyone to meet us at Twinkle Park, I'll see you later Sonikku!"

"Seeya Ames! I can't wait for tonight!"

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"Have you got anything Tails?"

"I dunno," Tails pushed his computer chair back and sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, other than his sudden affection for Amy, he's still been totally Sonic." the fox looked up at his guest. "Have you noticed anything else weird?"

"Can't say that I have," Knuckles the Echidna, Guardian of the Master Emerald and friendly rival to Sonic the Hedgehog, stood in Tails' workshop trying to unravel the mystery of Sonic's sudden emotional turnaround. "Maybe we're just paranoid?"

"It's possible..." Tails sighed and stood up from his chair. "I mean, I always knew that Sonic thought Amy was special in his own way, but for him to go from awkward to a regular Romeo-type all in the span of three days just sends up some red flags in my mind."

Knuckles shrugged. "Maybe he just finally manned up and admitted how he feels, like you need to do with Cream."

"Don't change the subject." Tails glared at the guardian, although his blush took away some of his intensity. "I dunno, I guess we should just keep watching, maybe Sonic really has changed." Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Tails went over and opened it, revealing an absolutely giddy pink hedgehog. "Oh, hi Amy."

"Are you ready for what I have to tell you?" Then her peripheral vision registered a splotch of red, and she turned to get a better view. "Knuckles is here too! Perfect! That means one less trip I have to take!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the group trip we're taking to Twinkle Park tonight!"

Tails raised an eyebrow. "We are?"

"That's right!" Amy moved past Tails and did a little pirouette in the middle of the workshop. "I talked with Sonic and we agreed that we should get the whole gang together to have some fun, y'know, as friends!"

"This seems pretty sudden Amy, why now and not before?" Tails said as he scratched his chin in suspicion.

"Well duh," Amy replied with her hands on her hips. "Sonic wanted to wait for the cute couples get in free promotion to get started again! After all, why pay for tickets when we can just walk in hand-in-hand and have a fantastic time for free?! That's called sound economics."

"It sounds like bull-"

"Knuckles!" Tails quickly cut off the guardian before he could finish his thought, then he directed his attention back to Amy, who seemed none too impressed with their reactions if her expression was anything to go by. "Amy, don't you think that something's a little...off...with Sonic?"

"No, why would I?"

"Because he's suddenly all over you and can't stop staring at you when before he actively ran away from you." Knuckles blunt statement was responded to with an angry glare from the pink hedgehog. "You can glare all you want, you can't tell me you aren't even curious as to why Sonic's pretty much started letting his hormones do all of his thinking for him."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Sonic's finally just realized that he cares for me?" Amy stomped forward with her hammer suddenly in hand, causing the echidna to back away a few steps. "Or am I so ugly that Sonic would have to completely lose his mind to think that I'm anything more than a nuisance?"

"N-No one's calling you ugly or a nuisance Amy!" Tails gulped when she suddenly rounded on him. "All we're saying is that...it does seem a little bit sudden, you can at least admit that much can't you?"

Amy sighed and took a moment to regain her composure. "Ok, I know you wouldn't ask unless you were legitimately worried, I appreciate that Tails," her hammer disappeared. "But there's really nothing wrong with Sonic! I mean, come on, no one knows him better than I do, I'd be able to tell." she gently placed her hand on the fox boy's shoulder. "Now come on, we're all going to Twinkle Park tonight! If you want, I'll even call Vanilla for you so Cream can come with us."

"And what about me?"

Amy turned her head to look at Knuckles, who was crossing his arms with a scowl. "Well, if you wanna find Rouge and ask her to come, all you gotta do is leave the Master Emerald alone for a little longer." she smirked at the low growl the echidna gave. "You know it would work."

"That's what bothers me." Knuckles uncrossed his arms and walked past both Tails and Amy as he headed to the door. "What time are we meeting up?"

The pink hedgehog tapped her chin for a moment in thought. "I think five 'o'clock should give us enough time to go around the park, sound good to you?"

"Wouldn't matter what time you chose, I would've come anyway." Knuckles walked out and grabbed hold of the door before he stopped. "After hearing all this from you, I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong and there really is something wrong with Sonic." With that, the echidna slammed the door shut.

"Do me a favor and don't come!" Amy growled before she looked over at Tails. "And you? Are you still convinced that Sonic is suddenly a huge jerk and this is all some elaborate prank or something?"

Tails slowly shook his head. "I don't know what to think Amy..." he looked up at her. "Honestly, I'd like to believe this is all real and Sonic's finally starting to come around to how he really feels about you, I want you to be happy!"

"Then trust me on this!" she put both hands on his shoulders and looked the fox boy in the eyes. "I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life, and it's all because of Sonic! I've learned to tell when he's just putting on a show, and this is all real! He really loves me!"

The young genius relinquished a smile. "Ok Amy, if you say so."

"Good." Amy nodded and smiled as well. "So, how's about I make that phone call? There's a cute little rabbit girl who I have a sneaking suspicion is starting to crush on you, and I bet she'd love to hang out with us tonight."

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As soon as the clock struck five, the entire gang got together and met at the entrance of Twinkle Park in Station Square. Amy had indeed convinced Vanilla to allow Cream to join them, and Knuckles had decided to come alone, although he seemed incredibly guarded. "Lighten up Knucklehead, we're here to have fun, and no one likes a grouch when there's a party goin' on."

Knuckles shrugged off the blue hedgehog's hand and growled lowly. "Let's just get in there."

Sonic just shrugged and went over to put his arm around Amy. "Suit yourself pal, hope you brought some money with ya, since ya don't get to take advantage of the cute couples get in free perk." He led the pink hedgehog over to the entrance and stood on the platform, and then he turned his attention to his friends. "Cute couple number two, come on down!"

Both Tails and Cream's cheeks turned pink, but they did walk in together as the platform went up, leaving Knuckles alone by himself until the platform returned. "I'm not a grouch." he grumbled.

Knuckles did have to pay to get in, but eventually they did meet back up and they soon started going around the park and partaking in all that it had to offer. Rollercoasters, thrill rides, a ride (or three) through the Tunnel of Love, and of course the never-ending variety of greasy fair food. Sonic had tried to get Knuckles to take a bite of the funnel cake he'd gotten for himself and Amy, but the echidna just glared at him in response. "Boy Knux, you're really makin' a case for jerk of the year, why'd ya even come if ya didn't wanna be here?"

"I have my reasons."

"Don't even pay any attention to him Sonikku," Amy said all too sweetly. "He's just jealous that he's all alone while we're all here on a double date."

"But Mr. Knuckles," Cream spoke up. "You could have gotten Miss Rouge to come with us right? Then you wouldn't have been so lonely!"

"That's got nothing to do with it!" Knuckles rounded on his younger companions and scowled viciously, his fists clenched in barely contained rage. "The only reason I'm here is to protect you three from getting hurt!"

Sonic scoffed. "Get hurt? From what? Eating too much junk food?"

"How 'bout from you wise guy?" Knuckles got up in the hedgehog's face, and Sonic's cocky grin immediately vanished. "I've been watching you all night, and at first I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but now I know for a fact that you're not yourself, if you're even Sonic at all."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you think I'm not the genuine article?"

"Because there's no way the real Sonic would ever be so openly affectionate, he doesn't have the guts!"

"Knuckles, go home!" Amy leaped up from her seat and gave the guardian a murderous glare. "I'd say I can't believe you would stoop so low, but then I remember it's you! Go back and protect your stupid rock, we do not require your services!" The pink hedgehog tugged on Sonic's arm and started leading him away. "Come on Sonic, let's go on the ferris wheel together, I've lost my appetite."

"Me too Ames."

The couple left in a huff, and Knuckles narrowed his eyes as he stared at the backs of the two retreating figures, and his eyes widened when he saw Sonic smirk at him over his shoulder. "Tails, we need to follow them."

"Knuckles, I-"

"Just do it!"

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Inside one of the ferris wheel gondolas, a blue and pink hedgehog were sitting alone, leaning against each other. The old machine had been empty until their arrival, but the old dog who ran it was more than happy to give the couple some free rides to collect their thoughts. "'T'is a great place to have a heart to heart." he'd said.

And that was what Amy was doing, as she poured out her heart to her new boyfriend. "I can't believe Knuckles would accuse you of faking all this...I mean, is it really so unbelievable? Am I really that terrible of a person that it's impossible to buy that you care for me?"

"Nah Ames, Knux is just paranoid, maybe he's just tryin' to overcompensate for all the times Dr. Robotnik tricked him."

The pink hedgehog raised an eyebrow at that and smirked. "Dr. Robotnik? No crazy quips or references to his looking like a giant walking egg?"

Sonic shrugged. "Why state the obvious?"

"I dunno," Amy also shrugged. "It's just that it's never stopped you before, kinda weird to actually hear his actual name again after all this time."

"Yeah well, that's not important anyway." Sonic turned and took Amy's hands in his. "What's important is us, and I gotta say Ames, these past few days have been the greatest days of my life...it's really too bad that it's gonna be all over soon."

"Well, what makes you say that?" Before Sonic could answer however, Tails appeared out of nowhere and slammed his feet into the back of Sonic's head before scooping Amy into his arms. "Tails, put me down! Have you lost your mind?!"

"Now Knuckles!"

Knuckles got a running start and reeled his fist back, and as soon as he was in range, he unloaded a vicious punch that obliterated the old metal keeping the ferris wheel standing, and it all came crashing down as sparks flew from the malfunctioning machinery, with Sonic crashing down along with all the debris.

"Sonic!" Amy turned and pulled out her hammer, her teeth gritted and her eyes brimming with tears. "You're both insane, do you have any idea what you just did?!" But suddenly from the smoldering flames that were now lighting up the night sky with yellows and oranges, a figure emerged from the wreckage, one whose silhouette was easily recognizable. "Sonikku! You're alive!"

But then the dust settled, and Amy's cries of joy turned into a fear-filled shriek as her eyes beheld a sight that she never would've dreamed of in her worst nightmares.

Instead of blood coming from the blue hedgehog's wounds...there was nothing but metal and wire. "I was really hoping it wouldn't have to be this way..." the creature's head lifted, and while one side of its revealed the unmistakably emerald green eye of Mobius' greatest hero, the other side showed nothing but darkness, and an angry red iris with a yellow pupil. "But thanks to Knuckles, now I have to do this the hard way."

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I was a fool, Knuckles was right all along. Sonic wasn't acting like himself because he wasn't himself. He'd been replaced by this...twisted perversion of him, made of nothing but iron and circuitry...but it was so real, a small part of me still couldn't let the thought that this was Sonic go.

But as I watched this incredibly realistic version of Metal Sonic engage in a fight to the death with the weakening Knuckles, I knew I couldn't let myself suspend my disbelief any longer. I had to help, somehow. Tails had already been knocked out, only seconds after he'd told Cream to fly away and get help. Given the circumstances though, I didn't think help would arrive in time. It was time to step up.

I grabbed my hammer and rushed forward with it held over my head, and I slammed it down on Metal Sonic's head, sending him to the ground for a moment so Knuckles could unleash an uppercut that sent him flying into the distance. "Knuckles, I am so sorry."

He gave me a grim smile in return, he was rubbing his fist and I could see the blood starting to leak through the fabric of his glove, as well as the blood coming from his chest and the side of his mouth from wounds shaped like claw marks. "I've dealt with worse." The next thing I knew I was on the ground as Knuckles shoved me out of the way, and then I heard a sickening thump, followed by a dull thud. When I turned around, I saw Knuckles on the ground, unconscious, with Metal Sonic standing over him with a frown.

"You stay away from me!" I raised my hammer in defense.

"I wish I could Ames."

My eyes widened and I felt my heart start to beat faster than it ever had before as a lump formed in my throat. Although the voice was synthetic, the way he'd spoken wasn't at all like something Metal Sonic would say...it was something that...Sonic would say. "Who are you? Are you Metal Sonic?"

The blue robot - or hedgehog, I was so confused I didn't know what to call it - took another step towards me, and I took a step back to keep the distance. "You'd think so wouldn't you?" he replied as he continued to approach. "But the truth is, I'm way better than any of those pathetic rip-offs, even before I became like this."

I felt my heart shatter, and I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. "Sonic..." I choked.

"In the flesh, so to speak." Sonic stopped to gesture at himself. "Pretty impressive huh? Dr. Robotnik managed to perfect his roboticization technique, he found me a few days ago and used it on me first. Now I've got a new goal, and that's to take you guys out...first I had to get closer to you to gain your trust...although I gotta say, I'm not really likin' this next part."

"Then don't do it! Sonic, you don't have to listen to Eggman! If he managed to turn you into a robot and make you so convincing that even I couldn't tell the difference, then that means despite all that programming he gave you, the real you is still in there! Trapped in that machine!"

For a moment, Sonic seemed to slouch a bit. "I don't wanna kill you guys," But then he looked back up and glared at me. "But I have no choice, my mission is to destroy you guys, and I'm gonna do it!" He charged towards me at full speed, and I barely reacted fast enough to get my hammer up and stop him from running me through with his exposed razor-sharp claw. "Hold still Amy, just make it quick!"

"No!" I swung my hammer and knocked him back a few feet, and then I jumped back and put more distance between us. "I know you're in there Sonic, fight it! If a robot like Gamma could reject his programming, then I have no doubt you can! You're too strong to just let Eggman control you!"

"Shut up!" Sonic charged again, but this time he was much slower and his movements were sloppier, and I was able to sidestep his attack and let him run past me and into the tilt-a-whirl. "Why can't you make this easy?"

I found it in me to smile despite the circumstances. "You're fighting it, I can tell. Don't give up Sonic, I know you can beat him!" But then his robot eye seemed to glow brighter, and he sent a vicious glare that caused my blood to run cold. "Uh oh." Only a second later, I found myself being raised in the air by the throat, as a robotic claw squeezed my throat.

"Just...just stop fighting me, ok Ames? Don't make this harder than it has to be!"

His voice was desperate, and even with his robot hand around my throat, I could feel that his grip was wavering. I could still breathe. "No Sonic, I won't give up and I won't let you give up...I love you too much to do that."

I saw his eyes soften, even his robotic eye looked pitiful now, and he dropped me to the ground and grabbed his head, screaming at the top of his lungs. "This is so wrong! I'm not a killing machine! I'm not some messed up terminator! I am Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"That's right, you are." I raised my hammer over my head. "And now I'm gonna set you free." I jumped up and shouted a battle cry even with tears pouring out of my eyes, and my hammer came crashing down on Sonic's head, crushing his metal skull. After landing, I made my hammer disappear and watched as Sonic's robot eye faded away, signaling that he had been...killed? Destroyed? What even was he anymore? "I'm so sorry Sonic," I whispered to the unmoving form. "We'll get you fixed up and back to normal, I promise."

When I looked back up after wiping my eyes with my arm, I saw Knuckles and Tails limping over to me, their bodies bruised and bleeding from the intensity of the battle. "Are you ok Amy?" Tails asked me even as he held his arm.

"It was him...it was Sonic...Eggman turned him into this...thing."

Tails knelt down and examined Sonic's robot body, and he looked up at me with a small smile. "I can probably fix him, the roboticization process still shows signs of using the same basic principles, just much more refined..." Then he frowned. "But..."

"But what?" Knuckles asked.

"I can fix Sonic and even de-roboticize him after...but...I hate to think how he's going to be after it's all over..."

I frowned and looked down at the broken body of what used to be my one true love. Knuckles seemed confused as to what Tails meant, but I knew. Would Sonic ever be the same again? Even after Tails put him back together and turned him back into flesh and blood...Sonic was one with the wind, a free spirit who could never be caged in...now not only had he been caged in, but he'd been turned against the ones he loved, and he'd witnessed firsthand the damage he caused.

As strong as Sonic was, I knew he wasn't invincible. Even he had his breaking points, and I sincerely feared that this experience would be what drove Sonic past his. But I knew that if it did, I would make sure to be there for him every step of the way on his road to recovery. There was one thing I could tell about Sonic during the past three days, and that was he truly enjoyed being with me, even while he was roboticized. Maybe that was what kept him from giving in to the programming for so long.

It wouldn't be easy, that much I knew for sure. For Sonic, being controlled like this was probably the most traumatic event he could ever experience, and it would be a while before he turned back into his true self. But he would, I also knew that. His strength and determination would make sure he eventually comes to terms with it, and I would be there every step of the way. I vowed then and there to myself, that I would personally make sure he would never know what it was like to be trapped in this machine again.

[magicalgirlartist]

[ID: 5 panel comic featuring human versions of Bionicle characters. Kopeke, shirtless, points to two scars under his chest and shrugs. Matoro, who is looking at them, says "No, I've never seen scars like these either, Kopeke..." He then asks "Do you want me to ask Turaga Nuju about them?" Kopeke covers his chest and shakes his head, shy and embarrassed. Matoro says "Okay, well, as long as they don't hurt it's probably fine." A full black panel says "1000 years later" in both the Matoran font and English. A young woman waves towards Kopeke in his Toa form, smiling. There is an arrow pointing to her labelled "Vo-Matoran" and one pointing to Kopeke labelled "Vo-Toa." The same woman looks up at Kopeke confusedly as he looks into the middle distance with a bemused smile, thinking "oh." The thought balloon is coloured like the trans flag. End ID.]

Local Vo-Matoran Gets Amnesia, Forgets He's Trans

Technically this is more A Company of Toa fanart even though this doesn't happen in the actual fic, but I just think the idea of Kopeke straight up forgetting he's been a trans man this whole time because he doesn't know that Vo-Matoran are assigned girl is very funny

(Not pictured: Tamaru cheering and jumping around and yelling because one of her brothers is trans like her!!!!!!!)

[Commissions open!]

Context for non-Bionicle followers under the cut:

Okay so in Bionicle gender is tied to your element. Of the six main elements (fire, water, earth, air, stone, and ice), only one (water) is female, the rest are male. Altogether, out of sixteen total elements, only three (water, lightning, and psionics) are girls. (Light and shadow can be either but we only ever meet one female representative of each because the design team was weird about gender but we're not getting into all that.)

Kopeke, like all Metru Nui Matoran, got amnesia before the start of the story. Previously, he would have known he was a Vo-Matoran (lightning element), but on arrival to Mata Nui the Turaga didn't know how many secondary element Matoran there were, so they lumped them in with the six main element ones and hoped for the best. This was presumably fine for most people, and also there were so few secondary element Matoran that it wouldn't make sense to split them all up by element so strictly. So Kopeke has spent the last 1000 years assuming he's a Ko-Matoran (ice element, male), and straight up does not remember that he's transgender until he meets more Vo-Matoran after becoming a Toa and going "hey wait a tic"

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord" Liveblog

Woo boy, there were certainly some Choices in this.

Yeah yeah, I'm late and spoilered to hell I know, look, I have been Going Through It out in realspace and my priority has been finishing Whumptober fics, cut me some slack.

Anyway.

Lars Mikkelson continuing to crush it as Thrawn.

"Even I fell victim to the... heroics of a single Jedi." Looooooool another bit for my collection of Pissy!Thrawn moments.

We're not going to get an explanation for why the Nightsisters and Thrawn are so tight, are we?

Morgan looks a little bit trepidacious about all of this ha ha.

All right, a point in this show's favor, this look at Nightsister rituals and culture is interesting.

And the flaming sword is cool, I'll admit.

Ngl, the editing really needs to be tightened up in this scene, we really only needed the one or two establishing shots before cutting into the interior.

Eman continues to be the perfect Ezra. I love him. 10/10 no complaints.

Ngl, this is sweet on the surface that Ezra's new saber has pieces of Kanan's buuuuuuuut *waves Green Saber Ezra Supremacy flag*.

Sabine, let him borrow y'all's lightsaber and YOU build a new one.

Ah goody, an Exposition Reveal.

-_-

This... doesn't actually explain Baylan's "Your family is dead because your Master didn't trust you." line btw. JUST SAYING.

I don't even know what the narrative wants anymore re. Sabine's choice to gamble Thrawn's return for Ezra.

Aaaand please not to be reminding me of the Wrong Jedi arc kthnx.

Oh good an action scene.

Ezra and Ahsoka being cool Jedi together, nice. Could be more emphasized and staged even more coolly tho.

Well poop, I guess that's the reason why we had to risk stowing away on Thrawn's ship.

Oh good! This holomap thing is exactly the kind of plot device I actually needed for one of my Sabezra Week fills.

Lol Thrawn be taking NO chances lololol.

Oh hello finally some of Thrawn's theme in the score here. Thrawn using the men's loyalty and fanaticism towards him personally to achieve his goals, fits the culty vibes, sure.

I am liiiiiviiiiiiiiiiiing for the subtle nervousness in Ezra's voice when talking about Thrawn finding the Dathomir castle and waking the witches. PLEASE CAN I HAVE A THOUSAND WHUMP AND ANGST FICS ABOUT THE IN-BETWEEN BEFORE EZRA'S ESCAPE FROM THE CHIMAERA?

His arms are so comfortably around Sabine awwwwww.

Thrawn be all srs bznss and I'm loving it.

Yeah no, Jedi!Sabine is REJECTED, she did not have any kind of necessary mental or emotional breakthrough, she wasn't shown calming her mind properly, sorry Dave THE LEGWORK AIN'T THERE, Imma fix this to be Ahsoka in the inevitable rewrite/fixfic that I've apparently decided I'm doing.

Oh Ahsoka is helping too, well I'm still not having Sabine be able to do it.

HAAAAAAAAAA THAT PISSED LOOK OF THRAWN'S OH MAN THE SNARLING LIP CURL, THE RAGE, YES PLEASE MORE.

The struggle to recompose himself OH MAN.

This is peak Mirrorverse!Thrawn and I'm here for it. I love seeing my headcanons playing out onscreen.

Aaaaaand this would have been the perfect scene to have Ezra and Sabine sharing the Our Lightsaber, meanwhile Sabine should be fully kitted out Mando style.

*simmers*

STAGE THIS DIFFERENTLY SO THAT SABINE'S BESKAR IS NOT CONSTANTLY LITERAL PLOT ARMOR PLEASE.

Aahhhhhhh Ezra my love! <3

Should have either let him use the Our Lightsaber or continued with the Force martial arts though, pick a lane. Or have a conversation about why they need to actually get him another saber.

Eman is... waaaaaaay better at this than Rosario, sad to say, lol.

Look at him GO THERE'S MY BOY.

I love him.

Oh what are we doing now?

Ohhhhh the zombie!troopers!

Lol Ezra must have left before the Nightsisters could show Thrawn their zombie techniques.

Eman makes this look flawless, I am in love.

Battle Couple Sabezra moment, awww.

"I missed you."

FAKSJHFAKJFHHKKHHHFHFH OKAY DEAD.

DEAD AND DECEASED.

LIKE THE ZOMBIES LOL.

Aaaaaaaaand I'm gonna adjust this in the fixfic, because right now it looks like they were waiting to actually dock.

And my typing is being slowed down hang on a second.

Still dumb.

Okay back.

Thrawn basically telling Morgan, "Right, so you're going to have to go fight the Rebels and stall die for me, mmkay?"

She's looking like she might regret all of this now lolol.

I do like how the finale is making it very very easy for me to fix later lol.

Like here. Morgan should have attempted to stop Ezra and Sabine. Just a small attempt, and then blocked by Ahsoka, and Ezra and Sabine run around and outmaneuver them.

BATTLE COUPLE SABEZRA. :D

Aaaaand final trailer shot accounted for.

Okay, can there be a little more effort on the choreography there please?

Oh no Sabine, EZRA SAVE HER.

Or we could retcon Sabine into actually legitimately being Force Sensitive and have her pull the Our Lightsaber.

SIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHH.

*grumbles, takes down notes about how to fix this in my rewrite*

Oh come on Ezra, you can jump that.

Catch me melting at the sheer and utter trust Ezra has in Sabine's abilities.

(But also, screw this, she's getting a jetpack in the rewrite.)

Aaaaaaaaaand I do hate that they got separated again, screwing alllllll of that.

Nice of the troopers to just politely stop shooting.

Yeah so, this is basically gonna be a 1 v 100 for Ahsoka when I rewrite it, let my girl have a hard fought climactic battle, she can take it.

"Your friends are dead." Uhhhh nah they ain't what does this bit of dialogue even connect to?

Lol Ezra gets to put on the big boy stormtrooper armor.

The vaaaaaaaaaguely panicky twitches that Thrawn has here. A+, excellent, no notes.

No kill like overkill LOLOLOL.

Thrawn, internally: Shitshitshitshitshitshitshiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Ah Thrawn is going to try Break Them By Talking. Ezra tanked this let's see if Ahsoka can do the same.

Nope, she's Affected.

Aaaaaand he out.

Bye Thrawn!

Hmmmmgh, yeah no, because in my rewrite I'm axing the entirety of Sabine actually becoming a Jedi it's going to be better that she goes with Ezra on the Eye of Sion instead of stays with Ahsoka, if she stayed a Jedi then yes that's what the conclusion should have been that makes narrative sense now that I see it.

But also again, I Do Not Like That Plot Point so--*grumblegrumble mumble*

Hi Morai!

Bandit queen Shin? I could dig it.

Baylan chilling with Mortis god statues.

I STILL DO NOT SEE ANY SOLID EVIDENCE THEY'RE GONNA DO ABELOTH GUYS, SORRY.

And Thrawn is setting up base on Dathomir. Lol wait til he finds out that there's basically nothing there anymore lololol.

Those uh... those be a lotta dead troopers. Probably most of the Chimaera crew.

...Cripes did they die naturally, did Ezra kill them, or did Thrawn pull some kind of Jonestown thing in order to enact his eventual revenge?

Oh maaaaan what if it's that last one, that would fit with the cult-like chanting in his intro omgghghhhggkajsfkjh.

Frick man, Thrawn fixing to unleash an undead army on the GFFA that can really only be taken out by lightsabers.

Oh come on, you're telling me Ezra was on the Eye and didn't pull some last minute shenanigans before he left?

Didn't screw Thrawn over one last time for nostalgia's sake?

(He and Sabine are blowing up some engines before they skedaddle, in the fixfic.)

HERA AND EZRA SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED A HUG, FILONI.

The attempt at bookends here is cute but no. LET HERA HUG HER SON.

THIS DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK AS A BOOKEND.

YES THE PART WHERE CHOPPER RECOGNIZES HIM IS CUTE BUT THIS IS WASTED DRAMA. THERE'S NO REASON FOR THIS.

LET HERA HUG HER SOOOOOOONNNN.

This whole scene just doesn't work because we're trying to shoehorn it into being a bookend for the opening, it doesn't wooooooooooorrrrrk.

THEY SHOULD HAVE HUGGED.

*furiously taking down notes on how to rewrite this scene*

*grumbling*

Blah blah Sabine can feel Anakin there but Ahsoka can't? blah blah blah.

Aaaaaaand closing us out with "As The Sun Sails And The Moon Walks"

Well.

Where do I begin?

Okay so... final verdict... I DO actually like this show.

THAT BEING SAID.

There was soooooooo much about the execution and so many of the narrative choices that I just NEEDED to be better and it frustrates me. Because this show by all rights should have been a spectacular emotional thrill ride like Kenobi and it just wasn't.

A lot of the problems and nitpicks I had with Kenobi are exacerbated here, especially under Filoni's brand of, "I didn't care for what Lucas did with the Prequels, here let me fix it." NO FILONI IT DIDN'T NEED FIXING IT WAS FINE! HOW THE FORCE WORKED WAS FINE! THE JEDI WERE FINE!

But there's such GOOD STUFF in here that I can't discount it all fully like I can with the Sequel Trilogy. (Which, believe me, I have attempted to workshop and fixfic but ultimately gave up on.) The purrgil lore! The Ancient Dathomiri! Another galaxy! Whatever Baylan was up to! Sabezra being adorable! Thrawn!

Soooooo yeah, basically join me sometime in the future for when I inevitably create a fixfic AU for this show like I did for Aldnoah.Zero because unfortunately I can't give up on this show I need to fix it, just hand me the characters and story and I can fix it.

Can't do much for the camerawork, choreography, and occasional stiff acting (Not you Eman, Natasha, Ray, Evan, and Lars, you're all great.) but I can at least salvage that part lol.

Ultimately... mid. Excellent premise and cool concepts brought down by subpar execution and some frankly baffling narrative decisions. But gimme like a week and I will workshop a Fanon AU that I can be completely happy with.

Hopefully we get a Season Two? Maybe? Or resolve everything in the Mandoverse movie?

Peace out, y'all.

[dr4kenlvr]

𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍—𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐄!

feat. toman boys [mikey, draken, baji, kazutora, chifuyu, pah-chin & takemitchi] + gn!reader - crack (0.9k+)

request: thanks 😭 so its probably not very unique but i've never seen tokyo revengers escape room fics and im sure it would be really chaotic to get in one especially with the toman first gen boys hehe

nana's note: LMFAOOO i would pay money to see baji in an escape room, i don't think anything could beat that on a comedic level, sorry kei :p !!! also i have like ZERO experience w/ escape rooms so im kinda talking out of my ass—i hope things make sense 🫶 👍

this would genuinely be so, so fucking chaotic i can't even guys LMAOOO

they're all so ready to go and crack the case and escape real fast because "chifuyu's with us, and like, draken too i guess."

"OH, YOU GUESS?" -draken, with a vein bulging out his temple

you and the guys decided that the easiest way to do this was to split up into pairs and look for clues/hints together

here's a breakdown: mikey + draken, pah + mitsuya, kazutora + baji + chifuyu, you + takemitchi

"thank fucking god i'm paired up with mitsuya 'cause my shit for brains ain't gonna do much with kazutora." -pah with a triumph smile

"PAH???? PLEASE??" -kazutora in complete disbelief

"AHAHAHHA—WAIT, SHIT HE'S IN MY GROUP." -baji, with his hair tied up because he's fucking ready

chifuyu is rubbing his temple at this point

"WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM, SHUT THE FUCK UP." -mitsuya with a growing headache

"guys we need to start the clock is fucking ticking!!!" -you, as mikey, draken, and takemitchi are DYING of laughter

the staff have to settle you all down and explain the rules, time limits, and hint system before letting you into the room with a final cheerful 'good luck!'

the group laughs out loud as pah and mikey somberly wave goodbye to the crew, eyes fixed on the door shutting with a loud SLAM and lock

the group of you gape as you walk around the humongous room filled with props and setups that resembled a haunted mansion of an older era - it was quite beautiful really, but something about it made you and takemitchi shiver

first thing everyone noticed, was the huge closet that was locked and required a specific code to undo the chains that held it tightly shut

it was evident that the task was to find out a code somehow, and so each pair began investigating the room

some spoke up when they came across something of mild interest—only to find out it served no real purpose

mikey keeps on mentioning that they should ask for a clue but baji and kazutora claimed they didn’t want to look like pussies just 20 minutes in

a few moments later, chifuyu notices papers sticking out of certain books along the walls; he collects them all and shows his partners to which baji screeches:

“GUYS!!!! THERE’S A BUNCH OF LETTERS HERE!!” 

he waves the pile like a flag and kazutora’s jumping up and down in excitement, shaking baji’s shoulders with a grin

chifuyu, who actually found the letters: lmfao k den bitch

the rest of the group huddles together and split up the letters to read

draken suggests that the numbers hidden within the letters are important for the code: “maybe there’s a specific sequence of some kind? each letter has one number.”

mitsuya’s head perks up and he leaves the group to rummage through something at the back—pah is all like “where are you going? wait where are you going, mitsuya please tell me where you’re going.” BECAUSE THIS MF IS SO LOST LMAOOO

“i found this collection of stamps by the coffee table, each one has a number on it but they’re not numerical order” mitsuya says, offering the box to takemitchi’s open hands

he picks each one up and inspects it closely, the stamps were from 1-5 but as mitsuya had mentioned, they weren’t in order

kazutora grabs them out of takemitchi’s hand with a cheeky grin, “MAYBE they correspond with the numbers in the letters?”

he puffs his chest out, before baji slams his palm flat on it with “YEAH, no shit sherlock. it doesn’t take a fucking genius to assume that.”

everyone just bursts out in laughter as kazutora physically deflates and lays on the ground: “fine, then you guys solve it.”

everyone shoots out possible strategies and solutions, but none of them work out every time you attempt to change the numbers

and baji gets so irritated and starts complaning like "god damn this shit is so hard it's making my ponytail fall apart" LIKE WHAT???

then there's pah: “BRO MY ASS HURTS LIKE HELL!”

“??? then stand up ????” -draken and mitsuya

“WHY WOULD I STAND UP WHEN YOU ARE ALL SITTING DOWN, I’M APART OF THIS TOO.”

you laugh, shaking your head at your friends

but you also find yourself getting increasingly irked as time ticks by

“uhhh you sure we’re not missing something?”

“i don’t know! why don’t you go ask an expert, idiot?”

“EXACTLY!” mikey yells, “let’s ask an expert,” he winks, signalling with his head to the big, bright red clue button on the wall

“it wouldn’t hurt right?” he scrunches his nose, trying to work his so-called adorable looks on the rest of the group

everyone looks around, and no one lets out a single complaint

mikey squeals as he stands, sauntering over to the other side of the room

and just as he raises his hand to press on the button, a loud alarm calls:

“TIME LIMIT REACHED, ESCAPE FAILED. YOU MAY NOW EXIT UPON STAFF INSTRUCTION.”

THE LOOK ON EVERYONE’S FACES IS JUST FUCKING (⊙⊙)(☉_☉)(⊙⊙)

I CAN NOT

everyone is just sitting down like a bunch of ducks staring at the door which is about to open

“WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? NOOOOO—”

“hi everyone! hope you enjoyed playing, you may now exit and grab your belongings from the cubbies outside. please come and try again next time!” 

ya’ll just fucking walk out like a bunch of sad children who couldn’t prove themselves smart enough despite having NINE PEOPLE AHFHADFJSD

“wow that was so fun, so uh can we get food now please i’m starving.”

“MIIIIKEEEY!!!!” -everyone

sigh, maybe go to an arcade next time or something <3

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @kazuhoya @gwynsapphire @sscarchiyo @reiners-milkbiddies @smileyswifeyy @bontensimp-blog @thisbicc @megumisemo (send me an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs and comments are very appreciated!

[polarisbibliotheque]

About the time a guy was being creepy to me on a professional setting and my gut feeling told me "GET OUT NOW"

Ok, so hi! This post has to do with a reblog recently here in my blog, on one of my fics regarding Dante and Vergil with an s/o suffering from being hit on without their consent. I write Devil May Cry fanfiction and that was my way of coping with a CREEP being, well, a creep.

Who would've known, fanfic is therapeutical

My answer got so big, I decided to make a separate post about it - and I'm talking like this because, if this gets out the DMC sphere and other people read it, they'll understand the fandom talk a little bit. This is not just for the fandom, but everyone out there.

Including men. All of us are prone to being targets of creeps - even if I'll be telling about my experience as a woman, take this advice to your heart NO MATTER your gender.

When this episode happened in my life, I was 27 y/o, I think...? I got pushed into such a stupid corner by this guy who kept messaging me with "work related" stuff... And my family wasn't validating my "this is weird" feeling.

So... What happened?

(TW: I mention the words "rape" and "sexual abuse" but none of that has happened. It was a red flag and I want to talk about avoiding it like the plague and how people might dismiss your gut feeling when something is wrong. I write with brutal honesty, curse words and don't censor anything, because I'm here to tell people how it is not curating content to go viral on clean ~family friendly~ social media. This is honest advice I'd give someone else, so it's just a heads up. I'm a little jaded with all the censoring of "forbidden words" when you have to discuss serious subjects like this nowadays hahahaha)

First context, I'm a Lawyer. Hi. I know it doesn't sound like it Second context, I'm from Latin America. Hi again!

Well, in my country, we have to vote every couple of years for the National Lawyer Association President and Vice-President (for my USA people, it's like the BAR association for Lawyers - meaning only lawyers who have passed the BAR and are, indeed, full-fledged to the association and with a lawyer permit can vote). I hate it, but it is what it is, I have to vote every time for one of those posh speaking clowns or else.

This much older guy stopped me at the entrance to the voting building to do some political propaganda of one of the candidates. Expected. They weren't the ones I was gonna vote 'cause their agenda didn't fit what I wanted for the Association - nevertheless, I smiled and was polite. Guy wouldn't shut up, but that's a lawyer thing. Kept being polite, dismissed him kindly and went inside to vote.

As I came back, guy is there and stops me. I had called my mom to give me a ride home - by that time, I had been broke and without a job for 2 years up until that point, trying to get back into the ~lawyer business~ and recover from a very bad burnout, so paying a ride back home was a big no. I had my phone on my hand and kept chatting because, you know, networking. You never know.

Now, mind you. I'm about to celebrate my 30th birthday this year, but people seriously think I'm underage wherever I go. I have to literally show them my credentials and ID so they can believe a single word I say. This guy, must've been around his 50s or something - and I look like a teen or, at best, 20 years old. I graduated when I was 22, so that's the most he could've imagined I was.

As we're talking, dude is flexing his career so hard I start to do the same. He says he has known the President and influential people in politics (back then, far-right government, so red flag already waving in the horizon), he has an office both here and in New York and Miami, he has worked with the FBI (we're in Latin America, the USA stuff is a flex for far-right people). I say I have worked as the Labor Lawyer in a huge worldwide known multinational company, coordinated with people in the USA and UK, had around 100 cases to manage monthly and keep the company in order when the directors were not around.

Guy is impressed and asks for my contact on LinkedIn. I'm down for it, I'm looking for a job and he could be one hell of a way to get back on business. Dude mentions he's in digital law and, heck, I wanted so bad to get into digital law! It was like he was put in my way by the angels to help me get back on my feet!

He asks for my resumé and my cellphone number, so he can have me in his office to have a cup of coffee. I am soaring by now. "That's it!!" I think "That's my ticket back to being a lawyer, to having my own money, to breaking the cycle of unemployment and having my career back!" - so I do it! I give him my number!

hello, workaholic aunt here speaking, my career was everything to me, I'd do everything for it

After I got back home, told my mom everything, and everyone was so happy. That's when he started sending me messages - asking for my address so he could send me some lawyer magazines and such... Even though he had asked when we were talking before and I changed the subject. I didn't give him of course, but instead sent him my resumé.

So, next day he asks me about that coffee and I said we can make it happen... Even if he got my name wrong. I have a pretty exotic name in whatever country I go, so it's a common mistake, known to happen, no one can pronounce my name right if I don't teach them how to, so yeah. I'm willing to gloss over that.

I'm assuming he read my resumé, saw how smart, capable and hardworking I am, and wants to talk business. Wants to offer me a job. I'm super ready. I'm taking my business clothes out of the closet, I'm cleaning my high heel black boots, I'm checking my references and vocabulary so I don't screw up. Guy sends a message saying he wants to take me out for lunch.

Red flag. My instincts flare up and I'm just staring at the screen. I start reviewing everything. I mean... Business lunches are ok, right? I had lunches with my manager and director plenty of times back in the day and it never got weird. So... Why was I feeling weird now...?

Guy says we can go out for lunch and then back at his office so he can show me around. I was like "hmmm... ok? shouldn't be weird. this is normal." but nevertheless I went to check with my mom and my sister.

Both said it was fine. I was feeling weird because it's a guy and me and I shouldn't be feeling uneasy - it's my social anxiety/workplace trauma talking. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I shouldn't screw up.

I keep talking to him. I ask where we should meet up for this lunch and he tells me to give him my address, so he could pick me up and we can go to "a nice place to have lunch" (his words, not mine).

Red flags are dancing around my head. I keep thinking "have I lead him on something????" and going mad. What was I wearing? Only work clothes, that's all - suit pants, black high heel boots, dark silk shirt and only a nude lipstick so my lips wouldn't get chapped. My shirt didn't even show cleavage.

It's ridiculous how I feel this is a thing I should add 'cause heaven forbid the cleavage

What about what I've said? Did I accidentally flirt?? 'Cause that's been known to happen - I'm a clueless ace who can't for the life of me notice when people are flirting or not or notice when people think I'm flirting with them. And usually when they are not flirting or being attractive, that's when the magic happens for me! So... What gives?! Did I do something wrong, that sent the wrong message?

I mean, I was nice, yes. But you're supposed to be nice to people. I'm not gonna be rude just because most guys can't keep it in their pants.

I go over the messages. I didn't do anything strictly not business like. I'm very good at that. I have only worked responding to men as bosses in my life, had four male bosses before him, all different ages, marital status, star signs, backgrounds, lives. The best colleagues and co-workers I used to spend hours having coffee and laughing with were men. So I know how to keep professional and not mixing things up. It wasn't a slip up from my side.

Well, then there's always the chance I was going crazy and overreacting, soooo... I go over to my mom and sister. They think it's weird, yes, but they do think that's exactly what's going on: I'm overreacting and my social anxiety/workplace trauma is blocking me from pursuing this opportunity that can help my career - and make me have a salary again so I can help at home.

Ok. I though up and go back to talking to him. I tell him fine but I'll go to the place myself, so he can tell me where he's thinking about having lunch. Guy tells me nothing and keeps insisting I give him my address and he will give me a ride so we can "get to know each other better".

My GODS I've never felt so uncomfortable. Not even when I had to stay ONLY with my boss working until 1 am, only the two of us in the company building, every light out except the one in the room we were in, him being around 15 years older than me and very confident, with the two of us having one of the best work chemistry I had in my LIFE.

He could've done ANYTHING to me, but we only talked strictly work. We were tired, he waited for my mom to pick me up at 1 am outside so nothing bad would happen to me, both of us under an umbrella, he apologized to my mom for having me stay at work so late and then went back home to his wife and kid. I NEVER, at ANY moment felt unsafe around him. He was my mentor, he was my boss, he was a good colleague and even somewhat of a friend.

So why on EARTH was I feeling SO UNCOMFORTABLE with this guy I had only met ONCE face to face in my life?

I start to voice my concerns. My mom and my sister think I'm only saying that because I don't want to go back to work. That I want to throw my career away because I can't control my anxiety and my feelings. We fight a couple of times and a couple of days. My mom tells my aunt about it. My aunt goes full FBI and does a background check on this dude.

That's when she told my mom some things weren't adding up. His LinkedIn profile was a little too weird and he had no ties whatsoever with the elected President of the Lawyer Association - was he really someone in their team for propaganda? Nevertheless, he did have an office and did work with digital law, both here and in the USA. I shouldn't let this opportunity slip.

I got so mad. SO MAD. To the point my sister decided to ask her boyfriend for his opinion on all of it and he was like "hey... your sister is kinda right. guy wouldn't offer to take ME to a nice restaurant to have lunch and go to his office later for a coffee, would he...? I mean, this never happened to me" - and sis' boyfriend is on the business meetings and negotiations/selling part of the spectrum. He knows what he's talking about.

So now I finally have a man validating my concerns.

I take the decision to shut the whole thing down. I go "very well, I will NOT meet him, I will NOT maintain contact with him, he's treating me like a whore he picked up on the street". At this point, I am FUCKING FUMING. But still, my sister and mom gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So I decided to marinate him for a while.

I should note that all his messages were sent close or around midnight, not at working hours. And I only answered at working hours. Since I was taking a while to respond, my dude just goes like, and I kid you not, "ooooh she's not answering, she's ignoring me, I don't like that *sad emoji*" LIKE A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD (no offense, 13 y/o peoples, but this dude is a FULL GROWN ASS MAN).

I am offended, I am flabbergasted and I wish I could suplex him to oblivion.

I show my mom the message. She just stares at me in awe. She FINALLY is like "yeah, ok, this isn't very professional". ALL THIS TIME, I never really told her what I was thinking and what was really worrying me. And then I break her the news that, what I'm really afraid of, is that this guy is going to rape me in his car. Or he's going to drive me somewhere I can't fight or scream and then he'll rape me. Whatever the scenario, it ended up with me being raped and I was scared. SO. FUCKING. SCARED.

My mom goes into Sphinx mode - that's when she doesn't answer and doesn't even look at me and just ~thinks~. It's a brutal reality she doesn't like and I don't like it either, I mean, it's my safety we're talking about here.

I shut down the guy completely. I tell him there's a family emergency and I couldn't continue to give him any attention nor I could go out for that lunch and I couldn't talk anymore. He SUDDENLY goes cold and "I am sorry if any of my messages seemed inconvenient. Do answer when you have the time so we can make an appointment." And that's it. No more messages. He's done in my book.

My mom tells my aunt. Aunt goes Sherlock Holmes mode this time and, lo and behold, they find an website of this guy's office. My mom is shocked at how 90's internet it looks for a guy who works with digital law. She then recognizes the address of the office but the doesn't remember of any office building in that street - so she Googles it.

His "office" is actually a residential building - meaning, it was his home address. She shows it to me and I want to cry - out of rage, shame, fear, sadness. I go like "yeah, this is the place he wanted me to go, to his home. What was he going to do to me there, huh?" - and I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Later, speaking to my sister, she's like "I dunno why you're so mad" and I'm like "WELL MISS I just got PICKED UP LIKE A WHORE outside of an OFFICIAL EVENT for the NATIONAL LAWYER ASSOCIATION while I was DRESSED UP PROFESSIONALLY and looking for PROFESSIONAL opportunities and I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED. I think I have all the right in the FUCKING WORLD to be FUMING."

That's when we diverged some more. She just said like "hey that's how the world works: women are treated like whores - you weren't the first one to have this happen to you and you won't be the last. What are you gonna do about it? Get over it."

Oh. Boy. I looked at my sister's eyes. I saw her just staring at me weirdly. A storm was approaching. The skies darkened. Bury the Light started playing in the background. Vergil's doppelgänger was standing behind me like an angel of death. (All DMC references for my non-DMC peoples)

"Well. I wanna have power. So much fucking power in this world that no one ever even thinks about treating me like that again. So much power they will fear standing in front of me and saying those words - they will look into my eyes and shut up. So much power I will never be afraid to walk on my own again and I will never have to doubt my feelings when I'm feeling unsafe because some lowlife pitiful little shit decided I should be a whore to satisfy him. I want to have power so I will never be this helpless again."

Cue in my sister just sitting there with butter in the slice of bread in her hand, staring at me like "wtf man... do you need a hug...?" and me doing a dramatic exit back to my room to, well... Write the fanfic in question.

(For my DMC creatures: I never even thought of Vergil when I said all of this, I just noted that thought later in my diary and reading it a couple of days later I was like "omg I have become my worst enemy, fuck you Verge" because I kid you not, I used to hate this man with all the fibers of my being - hence where my longfic Nemesis came from. I realized I lived long enough to become my worst enemy - and maybe I hated him because Vergil made me look at the part of myself I didn't like and didn't want to admit existed *I'm laughing while writing this, I do find it weirdly amusing*)

DMC things aside, this WHOLE episode made me feel so frustrated. I never had anyone to validate me, only people doubting me or asking me if I lead him on, or what was I wearing, or if I smiled too much, if I was being too nice, if I said something inappropriate, and so on. I had to get it all off my chest and I thought maybe, juuuust maybe, Dante and Vergil would've been more supportive regarding that.

Because, you know, they know trauma and they are protective as fuck. They can have all the red flags and mental issues in this world, but I don't think they would EVER dismiss their partner - especially a woman - feeling unsafe and fearing being abused or raped. In order to trust, you have to give the person and opportunity and room to open up to you without judgements - and I do think they aren't very judgy people.

I mean, they are demons, for fuck's sake. They can't judge anything especially Vergil

Also, I don't blame my mom nor my sister (even if I got really mad at her). In the end, both of them wanted what was best for me, they thought it was an opportunity and wanted me to get my career back. Truth is, no woman knows how to act when this happens. And they didn't know how to act as well. They didn't want to think of the worst: just like I was doubting myself and my own feelings, they were doubting theirs as well. We ALL had to be validated by a man to admit something was wrong and we weren't hysterical.

Ok, ok, storytime over. But I felt like sharing this because people, you are ALWAYS valid in your concerns - and there's no clothing, no smile, no attitude, no NOTHING that JUSTIFIES abuse. If you're abused or feeling like someone wants to take advantage of you, especially sexually, YOUR FEELINGS AND FEARS ARE VALID. Don't shrug it off or water it down just because people are saying you're overreacting - if I had listened to everyone around me instead of my gut feeling that something was REALLY wrong, only the gods know what would've happened. But I'll tell ya, it probably wouldn't have been good for me.

At best, I'd be mad this guy would want to pick me up like a whore and I'd have to turn him down and take a ride home. At worst, he would've raped me - in his car, at the "restaurant", at his "office". We don't know, but I didn't want to "give luck to bad luck" as we say where I live.

I didn't have support, so I wrote a story to feel supported by the fictional characters I look up to - I wished SO bad I was dating someone, especially a man, who'd tell me he'd go through hell and back to keep me safe and wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me and validate my feelings. Someone who would make me feel safe and I wouldn't have to only rely on myself.

cue in V saying he too wanted to be loved and protected, I tell you, all this time I thought I hated Vergil when I had only found my nemesis in a mirror

So, don't ever doubt yourselves. Don't ever doubt your gut feelings. We might want validation and someone to keep us safe, but sometimes we don't have that and have to rely on our survival mode. It sucks, but there's a reason why that thing is called "survival": it keeps you alive. It keeps you going.

And no one, NO ONE has the right to say you're overreacting, you're being hysterical, you're reading too much into it, you're just trying to find the easy way out, you just don't want an opportunity because you're lazy, you're crazy and deranged, etc, etc.

If your gut is flapping red flags all around, then overreact. Be hysterical. Read too much into it, find the easy way out, be lazy, be crazy and deranged. Be the villain. Be the bad person. You're not perfect. You're not a princess. Be comfortable with people telling you you're bad - but never NEVER let go of your gut feeling when your safety is on the line.

That fucking thing WILL save your life. Being too nice, though, might not. Listen to yourself, be TRUE to yourself, and, again, don't be afraid to be bad.

Someday you might just find your half-demon man who will support you, protect you and treat you as an equal powerhouse, but until that day, keep on conquering your self-esteem and unwavering will.

I'm just saying all of this now because:

1 - I was too scared to talk about this for a looong time afraid the guy in question would find this, know it's me and my safety would be on the line again

2 - Just now I'm getting comfortable with the concept of being "seen as the villain" and being "seen as bad". My whole life I have been dancing around this because people always said I had a "difficult" personality. I watched Cruella recently and it hit home so hard. We do have things to learn from villainous characters and maybe this is just who I am. People are going to see me as bad so, who cares. Even if I'm not, it would do me good getting used to that idea - I can be more assertive to my boundaries and not allow any of this to happen again. So, there you go. It's an exercise everyone should do. Are you comfortable defending your ideas, your boundaries and your integrity even if people are mad you're not being a pushover/perfectly polite?

It's something I think all of us should think about ;)

Also

thanks for coming to my TED Talk :')