#ffs gerard way couldnt just let me be mentally ill suicidal and content with that
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listening to mcr while at a horribly low mental point is... an experience.
#going through alllll the stages of breakdown babey!!#apathy sobbing wanting to punch the wall and throw up etc#meltingdown because im grappling with not wanting to be feel like this forever while not seeing a way out anytime in the forseeable future#ffs gerard way couldnt just let me be mentally ill suicidal and content with that#motherfucker rose from the metaphorical dead after eight fucking years to give me a will to live#and now i have to deal with the emotional fallout of this shit#i feel like a fanfiction moment where a suicidal character has a close call with death or conversely sees their life change for the better#and both situations make them realize they dont actually want to die and they want to live and see things get better#and they just break down because all they've ever known was having little to no care or regard for themself and their life#god i would make such a good blorbo. the fandoms would love me. im mentally ill and traumatized as fuck i check all the boxes
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