#few arguments that she only supports accepts i mean

[theinstagrahame]

Saw a headline about the CEO of AI being really excited about the prospect of Generative Large-Scale Computing (AI) giving billions of players a chance to make their own content for games. I also nearly applied for a job at a company that makes LSC/AI models for video games (the market is bad y'all, but I couldn't bring myself to do it).

Which got me thinking about the future of gaming, and honestly, it feels like it's gonna be bad.

One of the selling points seems to be the chance for each player to have their own unique experience, shape the game with their choices and actions, that kind of thing. But like, I kinda don't want that? Don't get me wrong, I like playing games where choices matter and branching storylines give me some replay value.

But I also like knowing that other people are having those experiences too. I like talking to people about my favorite side characters in games, and I love the memes based on their iconic lines. I like commiserating with people about the hard parts, or swapping tips about stuff I found but others missed. I enjoy that video gaming, even when it's a single player experience, can become a social one through shared moments. And even when there are interesting, unscripted moments, they're a fun surprise.

The promise of LSC AI gaming is essentially to do away with this. All moments are both unscripted and unique. Players will talk to NPCs who will respond "like they're people", so who knows what you'll get?

I worry that this also threatens the dying art of the walk through, because nobody's going to have the same conversations. Not all game really heavily on dialogue, but I'm picturing future iterations of Disco Elysium or Baldur's Gate where you genuinely cannot know what dialogue options lead to what outcomes, because there are none.

It's bad enough that we currently have some AI-written online guides with totally made up locations and events. Now the game is going to do it for you. At its worst, it'll direct players on random journeys to nowhere. At best, it'll be impossible to tell when an NPC is misleading you on purpose for game reasons or just because you used the wrong keyword.

I dunno. Just, with the layoffs in gaming and the tech industry in general, with so many rich people putting so much into the marketing hype of LSC AI's, and with so little being done to mitigate it all, everything looks more and more bleak...

[angel-sweets666]

Break up

katsuki bakugo x reader

Bakugos been distant which ends up in you two breaking up, learning to live without him was difficult

Warning: angst, break ups, arguments, mineta. (This is a mineta hate page���🫶) probably badly written argument but it’s more for practice

Bakugo and you used to be probably the cutest couple 1A had ever seen. He would carry your bags, help with your homework, hell he had even figured out how to threaten izuku into switching seats with you so you two could pass notes in class. You were practically best friends with Mina because of bakugo, you had a group of boys (bakugo, kirishima, Denki and sero) who would come to the rescue if you or Mina were afraid or uncomfortable of someone, usually mineta. Everything was great! Until it wasn’t

Bakugo began to grow distant, his usual warm and loving behavior towards you shifting to something colder and more indifferent. It was like a switch had been flipped, and the boy who once made you feel like the center of his world now treated you like an acquaintance, or even less. The cuddles in your dorm, which had been a nightly comfort, stopped altogether. He no longer accepted the lunches you made with such care, brushing off your efforts with a curt nod or a distracted "thanks."

He didn't wait for you or Mina when the lunch bell rang, a small but significant ritual that had always been a highlight of your day. Instead, he would storm off on his own, his mind clearly occupied by something that didn't include you. It was like he was building walls around himself, shutting you out bit by bit. The boys, Kirishima and Denki, noticed the change immediately. Their concerned glances back at you two during lunch were hard to miss. They would wave, trying to get you and Mina to join them like usual, but you felt too disheartened to follow.

Mina, always perceptive, linked her arm with yours and gave you a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay," she whispered, her eyes full of empathy. "We'll just hang out together today."

You forced a smile, grateful for her support but unable to shake the growing ache in your heart. The cafeteria felt larger and lonelier without Bakugo by your side, and the absence of his presence was like a constant, gnawing void. Mina did her best to keep the conversation light and engaging, but even her bubbly personality couldn't fully lift the cloud that hung over you.

You sighed heavily and walked into the common room, feeling the weight of a particularly rough day of training pressing down on you. It seemed like the past few weeks had been nothing but a series of bad days strung together. Inside, you found Sero hanging from the ceiling with his tape, while Denki and Kirishima were busy playing Uno. Sero, suspended above like a makeshift Spider-Man, noticed your dejected expression immediately.

"What's up with you?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. Kirishima and Denki looked up from their game to see you standing there, looking defeated.

"Nothing… just a bad day," you sighed, moving toward the kitchen area in search of some instant noodles. The prospect of a quick, comforting meal was the only thing that seemed remotely appealing.

"You've had a bad day for the past two weeks," Denki remarked, leaning back on the couch and taking a sip of his Coca-Cola. His casual observation stung because it was true; your mood had been in a steady decline for a while now.

"I know… it sucks," you grumbled in response, frustration lacing your voice as you rummaged through the cabinets.

"Is it because of Bakugo? You should talk to him!" Denki suggested, trying to offer some well-meaning advice about your relationship.

Kirishima, always quick to tease his friends, pointed out, "To be honest, man, I don't think anyone in this whole dorm wants your relationship advice when you can't even pull that green-haired chick from 1B." His comment earned a fake offended gasp from Denki, momentarily lightening the mood in the room.

The sounds of their playful banter and the ease with which they interacted only amplified your frustration. Their happiness and carefree attitudes were a stark contrast to the turmoil you were feeling inside. It wasn’t fair – why did everything have to be so hard for you?

As you prepared your noodles, you couldn't help but let your mind wander back to Bakugo. You missed him more than words could express. His absence from your daily life was like a constant, gnawing ache. You longed for the days when he would greet you with a smirk and a teasing remark, when his presence alone could make you feel like everything would be okay.

You slumped down at the kitchen counter, stirring your noodles absentmindedly. The warmth of the broth did little to soothe the cold emptiness that had settled in your chest. Sero, always perceptive, swung down from the ceiling and landed gracefully beside you.

"Hey, if you ever need to talk, we're here for you," he said softly, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

Kirishima and Denki echoed his sentiment, their earlier teasing replaced by genuine concern. "Yeah, we're your friends. We care about you," Kirishima added with a supportive smile.

Denki nodded, his usual playful demeanor subdued by the seriousness of the moment. "We're here for you, no matter what."

Their words were a small comfort, but the underlying issue remained – you missed Bakugo. You missed his rough edges and his rare moments of softness, the way he could make you feel safe and cherished with just a look. The rift between you seemed to grow wider with each passing day, and you couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness.

As you finished your meal, you realized that no amount of comforting words from your friends could fill the void left by Bakugo's absence. You needed to figure out a way to reach him, to bridge the gap that had formed between you. For now, all you could do was hold on to the hope that things would get better, and lean on your friends for support as you navigated this difficult time.

“nah, it’s good advice.. I’ll talk to him. If you hear yelling from us just… I dunno come check on us, or get Mina.”

So you made your way towards the elevator and down the hall, clicking the button that had the number four in big bold writing. Bakugo and you both lived on the 4th floor of heights alliance. (I’m being fr when I say I googled this) and walked to his dorm, knocking lightly on the wooden door “katsuki? Hun?” You called out “yeah? What?” He yelled back at you, sounding annoyed. “Can we talk?” You asked softly, trying to simply be nice to him “we talk everyday!” He just sounded so annoyed. “No like.” You sighed “can we talk.” You said it in a different way so he got the idea. Bakugo huffed on the other side of the door “yeah. Sure. Whatever.” He grumbled out, unlocking his door and letting you inside.

The blonde flopped back onto his bed and rolled onto his back to look at you. “What’s up?” he asked, the once loving look in his eyes now replaced by a cold indifference.

“What’s going on, Bakugo? You keep distancing yourself from me,” you said, frustration bubbling up. “I haven’t seen you actually try to talk to me in two weeks!”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Nothing’s going on, I’m just tired. Still love you,” he mumbled, but you couldn't tell if he was lying.

“When you’re tired, you used to cuddle me and sleep. Now you ignore me completely—”

“I said I'm just tired, damn it!” Bakugo suddenly yelled, causing you to wince.

“What the hell, Bakugo! I’ve been nice about it, trying to understand!” you retorted, your voice rising in pitch.

“I’m just… I don’t have time for you, okay?” he snapped, his tone as harsh as ever.

“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, feeling a sinking sensation in your chest.

“I don’t have time for you! You distract me from being the number one hero. You're nothing but a distraction!” he screamed, picking up a small stress toy that you got him and throwing it at you, narrowly missing your head.

“What the hell, Bakugo! Who the fuck throws something at their partner?”

“Me! Because you’re being annoying! I’ll talk to you like I did before when you stop being such a distraction!” He groaned and tried to turn away from you.

“Will you? Will you really? I don’t trust you anymore!” you yelled, your voice cracking with emotion.

“If you don’t trust me, let’s break up then!” He stomped over and got right in your face, his eyes blazing with anger.

“FINE!” you shouted back, but you didn’t move.

“FINE!” he roared, his breath hot against your face.

“Why are you doing this?” you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes. “I’ve done nothing but support you, and this is how you treat me?”

“You don’t get it!” he yelled. “Every time I look at you, I see all the things I’m failing at. I can’t afford distractions, not now, not ever!”

“So I’m just a failure to you? Is that it?” you shot back, your voice trembling with hurt and rage. “I thought I was someone you cared about, someone you loved.”

“I did love you! I do! But I can’t do this right now,” he shouted, his voice breaking slightly, betraying a hint of vulnerability.

“Love isn’t something you can just turn off, Bakugo! You don’t get to use me and then throw me away when it’s convenient for you!” you screamed, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m not using you!” he yelled back, but there was a crack in his voice. “I’m trying to protect you, damn it! From me, from this life, from everything!”

“By pushing me away? By treating me like I’m nothing?” you cried. “That’s not protection, Bakugo, that’s cruelty.”

“I’m doing what I have to do to be number one!” he roared, his fists clenching at his sides.

“At what cost, Bakugo? At the cost of everyone who cares about you?” you asked, your voice softening with sadness. “If you keep this up, you’ll end up alone.”

“Maybe that’s what I need to be!” he shouted, but there was a hollow ring to his words.

“Fine. If that’s what you want, then I’m gone,” you said quietly, turning towards the door.

Bakugo stood there, breathing heavily, watching as you walked out of his dorm. “Don’t come back!” he yelled after you, but the words felt empty.

You slammed the door behind you, the sound echoing in the hallway as you walked away, each step feeling like it was ripping your heart out of your chest.

as you went down the hall towards the elevator, you saw Mina try to rush down the hall. She also lived on the 4th floor and she heard everything “*name!*” she called out “what happened? One minute the 4th floor is peaceful then I’m hearing you two yelling! I think they even called mr aizawa!” She sounded panicked “we broke up.” You muttered “huh?” The pink haired girl asked “we broke up Mina, me and bakugo. We broke up.” You reiterated to her “you’re kidding…” she looked like she felt nothing but pity for you, pulling you into a tight hug. You sobbed into her shoulder as the reality sunk in…

the next day, aizawa pulled both you and bakugo aside.

“I understand you two have broken up, however I need you two to be civil. I can’t have you two yelling at each other during class time or during school hours. Keep your relationship problems out of school” the blunt man said in his usual gloomy voice “and with that, I’m changing your seating plan so you two don’t see each other.” He handed you two a piece of paper with the same exact seating plan, except you and bakugo were on opposite sides of the room.

“Tch.. whatever” bakugo grumbled and walked Into class, you stared down at the piece of white paper “yeah this is good” you nodded and also walked into the classroom, mr aizawa following behind you.

the tension in class was sickening, everyone had heard of your breakup and nobody wanted to say anything that would set you two off

minetas ugly ass turned around and faced bakugo with a grin “I heard of your breath up, females am I right?” “Shut the fuck up you purple bitch.”

[thesummerestsolstice]

I can't be the only person who's absolutely obsessed with the Feanorian followers. Because, see, here's the thing. The Sons of Feanor are under the Oath. And at least in some interpretations of canon, that means that the choices they make related to the Silmarils are made under duress, or when the Oathbound are really not in their right minds/acting of their own free will. And if you accept that as canon, the Feanorian followers get really interesting.

Because they aren't under the Oath of Feanor. Like, there's a distinct argument to be made (supported by the servants of Celegorm dumping Elurin and Elured in the woods, and Maedhros's horror at their actions) that the Feanorian followers are worse than their lords.

And that raises all sorts of questions. Without the Oath compelling them, why do the Feanorian followers who stay through Doriath and Sirion agree to the kinslayings? Personal loyalty? A belief that the Feanorians are right? Grudges against Thingol and the Sindar? Bloodlust? Love? How do they feel about serving lords who are (at least sometimes) being compelled by their Oath rather than acting freely? Do they even really understand the Oath? Have any of them tried to swear it? Do the Feanorians appreciate their loyalty? Are they sometimes a little afraid of the lengths their followers will go to?

There's just so much to explore there. I'm hoping that sometime I'll get a chance to write about my horrible little Feanorian follower OCs. Brief descriptions of a few of them below the cut for those interested.

Hravauta: a follower of Maedhros and a smith who specializes in prosthetics and mobility aids. Crossed the ice with Fingolfin's host and first met Maedhros when they were one of his healers after Thangorodrim. They refuse to explain why they followed Maedhros through two kinslayings and several centuries.

Helcasure: an Avarin warrior whose people were displaced when Morgoth moved into Angband. She swore vengeance, and spent the next several centuries roaming the Northern plains and killing any orcs she could find. When Maglor came to the gap, they joined forces. Apparently, her choice to follow Maglor was one made solely out of personal loyalty to him.

Alyacune: a Vanyar and former hunter of Orome who went to Middle-Earth because she believed it was her duty as a hunter to go fight Morgoth. Went through a pretty brutal loss of faith in Middle-Earth, which her friend and lord Celegorm helped her through. Hated the Iathrim for hiding behind the Girdle like Orome hid in Aman while Middle-Earth fell apart around them.

Moripilin: Curufin's wife, Celebrimbor's mother, and the living embodiment of "I could make him worse." Idolized Feanor, met his son while apprenticing with him, and proceeded to become a proper Feanorian. Some people are convinced she swore the Oath with her husband, but no one knows for such. Very much believed that the Silmarils were worth killing for.

[thehusbandoden]

You Flinch During an Argument -Shinso Hitoshi

A/n: meow <3

Oh wait I think this is actually my first finished thing for Shinso. Am I doing him right?? Idk T^T

General info:

Genre: angst to fluff/comfort // Wc: 1,594 // second person

Warnings!: arguing, accidentally breaking a promise, flinching, and a little bit of crying.

Dabi | Hawks | Todoroki Shoto | Bakugo Katsuki | Midoriya Izuku | Shigaraki Tomura | Aizawa Shota | Amajiki Tamaki | Kirishima Eijiro | Shinso Hitoshi

Horror ate away at Shinso's conscience as he looked down at you in shock.

You, his beloved y/n who stuck with him through these difficult seven months of a new relationship. His one and only supporter, his first love, his best friend, and his partner.

He had promised you that he would never use his quirk on you unless it was related to training.

He promised, and he belived it too. He knew that he would never take control of your goregous mind.

And so why? Why did he let himself be so weak. So.. so out of control?

It was all a blur. He hadn't even realized that he activated his quirk that he despised so much. One second you were shouting at one another, and the next you were completely still, eyes holding no sign of their usual spark. That spark that was always present, the spark that he grew to adore.

He continued to yell though, not yet noticing that you weren't yourself.

"Why can't you tell that I did nothing! She grabbed my arm and I ignored her! I walked away without sparing her a glance- y/n she means nothing! You're the only one that I could ever possibly be interested in! So why are you being so stubborn!? Just- just stop!"

At his command you simply dropped the arms that were folded against your chest, going completely still.

That was when he realized that you weren't in your right mind- that it seemed like you were being controlled.

The realization broke his heart as he deactivated his quirk, causing your eyes to suddenly pop back to life.

Your face was contorted in confusion for a few moments before you slowly looked up at him in shock.

"Y-y/n I-I can explain." Shinso's voice was wobbly as he looked down at you, eyes wide in unbelieve, voice full of emotion. You've never seen him this shaken before, and to be honest it scared you. What.. happened?

"D-did you just control me? Hitoshi you better answer truthfully."

"I-I did but- please it was an accident- I- I swear-"

"Hitoshi.. you promised me you wouldn't. What happened?" You asked, tears in your eyes as your hands started to shake.

"I-I know baby I know but please it was an accident- I- I noticed when you stopped when I told you to-"

"How long did you control me Hitoshi?"

"Less then a minute- please y/n I didn't mean to!"

"But yet you still did. I- I can't look at you right now. I.. need some time."

"Y-y-y/n.." Shinso whispered, tears pooling at the edge of his eyes.

"Y/n... y/n please- I- I-"

"I-I'm just going to go.. I'll.. see you some other time."

"Y/n wait!"

"What is it.. Shinso?"

"I-I am so, so sorry. I'll understand if you're going to- to leave me."

"No, Sh- Hitoshi. I'm not going to leave you. I Just need some time to sort this out, okay? I'll text you when I get to my dorm, but other than that please don't contact me."

"O-okay.. I-I love you.."

"I- I love you too.."

~~

Three weeks later and you were still dreading talking to Shinso. You've texted him every few days to let him know that you were doing okay and you simply needed more time. He was understanding each time, and that calmed you down quite a bit.

You knew that you wouldn't be able to leave him. You've loved the boy for years. You fell in love with himin elementary school, admiring his quick wit and braveness fending off bully after bully. You admired him, you really did.

The two of you quickly became friends, and your love for him grew each day. You eventually worked up the courage to confess in your first grade of high school. He seemed hesitant, but he accepted your brunch date. After three dates in quick session he was the one to ask for the two of you to advance, which you accepted.

Less than a month in he confessed his love and you reciprocated his feelings. Five more months into your relationship and everything seemed so perfect. That is until girls started flocking him.

It made sense, he had recently gotten into the hero course and had outstanding looks. You would've been fine with it- but he didn't seem to mind.. at all. He wouldn't tell them to back off, or even tell them he was taken. He simply.. ignored them. It made you uncomfortable and you tried to reasonable about it, but he just wouldn't listen.

After a month of this back and forth you refused to be brushed off again and it ended up being both your first argument as a couple, and will probably be the worst one in at least a year or so.

You believed him when he said that he didn't mean to activate his quirk, but it still hurt. And you couldn't shake it off. You knew that you would forgive him, and this endless silence was breaking him, but you just needed more time. But you also knew that you couldn't wait much later or Shinso would be broken for at least a few months. And so, you scheduled a meet up. In three days, you texted Shinso to meet you in your favorite park to talk. He willingly agreed, and now you simply have to collect your thoughts.

~~Three days later~~

You took a deep breath as you looked yourself over in the mirror.

You were dressed casually, plain blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket.

Looking over yourself worriedly, you smiled as you remember you complaining about this exact outfit to Shinso and how he told you that you looked nice. He hugged you from behind, gazing into your eyes lovingly before complimenting everything he loved about your outfit, accompanying each sentence with a kiss to your head, temple, forehead, cheeks, and then your nose.

He gazed into your eyes, taking your hand before telling you that you were gorgeous, and that he could never dream of anyone more perfect than you.

Smiling sadly, you hurry to grab your phone and wallet before heading out of your dorm, greeting your classmates as they smiled and waved at you.

Stepping outside, you hurry to the park, wanting to get there before Shinso does. Humming, you smiled at your favorite play list you were listening to, deciding that some of your favorite music would help calm your nerves and help you think clearer.

A few minutes later you arrived at the park, smirking as you realized Shinso wasn't there yet.

Ever since you discovered the park in the beginning of your highschool year the two of you started a tradition, if you could call it that. You never discussed it, but you had always rushed to see who could get to the park first, and Shinso usually won. He hardly cared about how he looked and didn't mind losing out on sleep to see you pout so cutely.

It was actually quite endearing, though you would never admit it out loud.

Sitting on your favorite bench under a large Oak tree, you pull out your phone to text Shinso, gently teasing him for being second this time. As you were about to hit send, you jumped as you felt a cold hand embrace your cheek. Looking at the hand, you scoffed as you saw Shinso holding your cheek gently, smiling teasingly at you.

"Got you.. again." Shinso murmured, causing you to blow a strand of hair out of your face huffingly.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." You pout, causing the boy in front of you to chuckle.

"So.. you're ready to talk?" Shinso prompted, sitting across from you, now nervous and unsure.

"Yeah... Listen Hitoshi, I know you didn't mean to, and I know that you feel really bad about it."

"I do, I really, really do."

"And I know for a fact that I am not gonna leave you for something so silly. I love you, Toshi and I want to hear the apology you've been dying to tell me and forgive you."

"Y/n, my Love, I am so, so sorry. I cannot forgive myself for losing control of my quirk like that, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to never lose control again. I also want to apologize for overlooking your feelings. In my head it was enough to ignore them, but now I realize that that was selfish and wrong, and I want to talk to you, calmly about it, and find a conclusion."

"I forgive you, Toshi. And I'm sorry too. I'd really like it if we could find some middle ground.. but first, we should get some lunch and go on a date, we've harldy seen each other in three weeks after all. Oh, and I love you I really, really do."

"And I love you so much more y/n, so much that it hurts." Shinso murmured, leaning towards you after every word, finishing it off with kissing your lips sweetly.

"I don't think that's possible." You breathe, causing Shinso to chuckle.

"Oh trust me, it is." He finished, pecking your lips once more before standing up, taking your hand to take you out on the best date possible.

Because there is nothing Shinso loved more than you, and he'd continue to prove it until the day he died.

Reblogs help spread and support my work therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated <33

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Tips <3

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes (03/05)

Behind the Negotiation

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: knowing that you can't run away from your past forever, you receive unexpected visitors in your home that make you fear for your son's future.

word counter: 8.9k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

warnings: angst, arguments, language,mention of abortion.

guys, I'm sorry for the delay, with this chapter a lot of unexpected things came across my way, but I've finally finished it and I'm satisfied with the result, although I'm not sure if you will like it, it might bore you but I don't know, please let me know :)

without more to say, enjoy it and thanks for all the support, really! let me know your comments too, I'll be waiting for them!

You still remember it all too well.

You remember how you accepted Aemond's terms, the terms of his agent Criston and also of his entire team.

You agreed to keep the existence of your child a secret, to hide in the shadows with him and to keep a low profile until it was "safe" for Aemond's career to publicly and legally acknowledge the baby.

But you only accepted to take that worry off everyone's mind and especially his, so you could run away. Although the reality is that you were scared.

At first, Aemond's power, influence and connections kept you paralyzed, thinking about the consequences of breaking all ties with him.

And running away from him, disappearing from his life along with your son was a decision you had to make carefully and then had to live with in fear and dread of being found someday.

And the fear of possible legal reprisals for your escape and uncertainty about the consequences were present at every turn. But you did everything to live in freedom, not to destroy Aemond's career and to protect your son from all public exposure.

You always knew that Aemond with his celebrity status possesses power, not only in the entertainment industry, but also in the media and social sphere, that was obvious, just like any other celebrity.

So finding you could be as easy as snapping his fingers.

So to prevent Aemond from tracking your movements so he could find you, you began by discarding any means of transportation that could be easily monitored or tracked.

You avoided airports and bus terminals, opting instead for small train stations and local buses, always paying with cash. You left King's Landing and the entire state, going all the way to the Iron Islands.

In Pike, with the money you had left over, you were able to rent a room to yourself in a cheap hotel, then quickly began to look around for a job in the surrounding area in search of an opportunity that could provide you with support and stability.

You knew you couldn't get a job like the one you had before, on a recording set with a big salary. So downtown, you found a job at a beauty salon.

Not only does she own a beauty salon, she also owns a few small apartments in the city and offered you one of them at a lower price, considering you were just starting out with a new job.

The owner of the place, Becca Waters, a kind and understanding woman, saw potential and also the need in you.

Knowing your condition and that you practically came to live in a place where you knew nothing and no one, she also offered you a place to live and be safe.

Mrs. Waters became a fundamental support for you, providing guidance, encouragement, flexibility and stability in your financial need and also in your pregnancy.

With her you felt completely safe and supported at a time when you needed it most. After all you had gone through to get here, leaving your life behind and pregnant, she was your reward.

But still nothing was easy after that.

Your pregnancy process was a roller coaster of emotions, challenges and moments. Facing motherhood as a single mom was an overwhelming reality.

On the one hand, even though the baby was unplanned, you were excited to know that you would soon be holding him in your arms, but on the other hand, you also felt fear and anxiety at the responsibility of raising a child alone with no knowledge of anything really.

The first few months of pregnancy were especially difficult.

You experienced pain, symptoms and discomforts that you had no idea about and had to endure, as well as a slight state of depression and anxiety about dealing with all of this on your own.

But through it all, Becca was your pillar of support at all times, who became your confidant, giving you comfort and encouragement in difficult times. And she was the one who helped you throughout your pregnancy and also the one who was by your side when you gave birth to your child.

And even though you didn't want to, being in a very vulnerable state, you couldn't help but feel lonely and miss Aemond, just as you missed everything you once used to be.

But remembering everything that happened the last time you saw him, even though the feeling disappeared, you also couldn't help but start crying.

And to protect yourself emotionally, you decided to stay away from news about Aemond.

You avoided social media and any content that could remind you of your past with him. Your determination was great to be able to raise your child alone, without relying on Aemond's presence or acknowledgement.

And the day your son finally came into the world, it was a moment of joy and wonder that could not be compared to any other moment in life, filling your heart with indescribable happiness.

However, the birth also brought with it a torrent of new worries and challenges.

Childbirth was exhausting and intense. Nothing you've ever experienced before. And in the days that followed, the constant care of the newborn, the lack of sleep and the adjustment to your new life were heavy challenges that pushed you to the limit many times.

But in spite of that, every smile, every little gesture of your son filled your world with immense love, as well as Mrs. James' help in guiding you in practical aspects of motherhood increased your unwavering determination to go forward for him, being your driving force.

Although also the arrival of your son into the world increased your fear in you.

The fear that Aemond and his team might find you and take your son away from you was a constant worry. But despite this, there were moments of uncertainty when you thought too much about it.

You wondered why Aemond would bother looking for you and your child. Clearly the baby was a risk to his career and he didn't even want to support you from the start, only accepting it later because that was your decision.

You knew he wouldn't but you were still afraid.

Would Aemond really seek you out after he initially supported the idea of abortion?

Would he really seek you out after he supported your decision even if he didn't want to but in the shadows, avoiding any public acknowledgement and hiding you and your son?

But just when you had gotten used to it, had found stability with a job and a permanent refuge in the beauty salon with Mrs. Waters, a few months after the birth of your son, Mrs. Waters was forced to close the salon due to unforeseen financial problems.

That place that had been your refuge and where you found support and friendship, suddenly disappeared, leaving you with a feeling of emptiness, uncertainty and nostalgia.

Mrs. Waters would have to leave town and although you didn't want to, you also decided to do the same, convinced that you would be safer with your son in a place you knew well, avoiding at all times the places you used to go with Aemond and where you knew you could meet him.

So after looking for a job, with your resume and previous excellent references, in the city where the entire film industry resides, you got a job as a makeup artist in a different recording studio than the one you had worked in before.

There was no way you could meet Aemond, or so you thought.

Previously the TV network was BBC, now it was HBO for whom you would be working on a new TV show, so you really had nothing to worry about, especially since the pay was very good and you could survive just fine on that for you and your child.

But right on your first day of work, life decided to surprise you.

And now you are here, in your new apartment where you were planning to live temporarily until you find a better one, but now with you running away on your first day it means definite dismissal for sure, so you have no idea how you are going to pay for a better one or how you are going to pay for this one next month so you won't get kicked to the street.

But you can't even think straight as you are still shaking, your emotions are running high, you have no idea what really happened, it was all very fast between talking and remembering the past.

And the only thing that gives you some peace in the midst of your own thoughts and everything you're feeling, are the sounds of Aenar's toys and babbling in the living room, playing on the floor and touching everything he can.

His silver hair shines from the sunlight coming through the windows and he giggles as his colorful toys bump into each other, showing a world of happiness and innocent curiosity, completely filling your heart but you still feel that sharp ache in your chest.

You move towards him with a soft sigh and take a seat next to him, keeping a small genuine smile on your lips but with some melancholy, when he starts showing you all his toys and asks you between babbling and giggles to play with him.

You move the toys back and forth, ask him questions in honeyed tones and he laughs, making you laugh too, but you continue with the tumult of your overwhelming thoughts.

You think about what you will do now, that you should probably look for a job at a new beauty salon, which is what you should have done as soon as you got back, find a subtle job instead of going back to what you were doing before so suddenly.

However the paycheck was what made you take it and you need it too much, so you'll have to look for other alternatives.

You find yourself thinking about it when you suddenly hear the sound of the door completely interrupting your thoughts and also your game with Aenar.

You look towards the entrance, confused, with a strange feeling growing in your chest, immediately giving you a bad feeling. For who would come knocking at your door?

No one knows you're back… except Aemond.

Oh Gods.

The thought makes you paralyzed, feeling your whole body tense up, your heart starts beating fast and fear invades you completely.

Could it be him?

You wonder, struggling to stay calm, even though there's no way he could have figured out so quickly where you're living.

Or has he?

The thought leaves you completely paralyzed, with a mixture of anxiety and fear flowing inside you.

The knocking on the door becomes more insistent and you carefully get up and leave Aenar still amused in his game on the floor, then walk towards the door feeling a lump in your throat and a growing uneasiness.

You reach for the doorknob and as you turn it to open, your heart skips a beat when you find Aemond's agent standing in front of you, Criston Cole.

A trace of surprise and confusion flashes across your face, feeling your body tighten further and the fear linger.

How did he know where you were?

What is he doing here?

Criston returns you a serious but understanding look, beginning to feel the tension between the two of you, while you feel the fear invade you again because of the old memories and being him one of the main reasons why you decided to run away.

His mere presence triggers a series of emotions that take you by surprise. With no trace of Aemond or anyone else around you, yet your mind races.

Nervousness invades every fiber of your being, while your heart beats faster and stronger than usual. A sense of discomfort invades you and you also feel alert, afraid, unable to control it.

"Y/N."

He pronounces your name with a slight nod. His tone tries to be reassuring, but confusion and bewilderment wash over you.

You say nothing for a few seconds, feeling unable to speak and unable to formulate any words, barely trying at that moment to process the situation. Anxiety creeps through your chest, as he gives you and respects your space, aware of your unease.

"I understand that you're surprised by my visit and I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I really don't. But we need to talk."

The confusion inside you increases and so does the fear, to watch him completely bewildered and on the verge of collapse.

"H-how—

You try to ask with your voice cracking in the midst of all your emotions, but he interrupts you in response, knowing what you're going to ask.

"My team," he lets you know, "They handled finding you."

He tells you seriously and with that touch of professionalism in his tone, but his response only surprises and puzzles you more, to which Criston notices.

You feel the questions pile up in your head, but you barely manage to articulate a word, besides all the emotions you're feeling, fear mainly.

"Aemond informed us of your return," he adds, "After he didn't find you again, he asked us to look for you," he tells you calmly, trying to make his eyes convey an attempt at empathy for you.

But you don't believe that one bit. Not after what happened the last time you saw him and his entire team.

You feel a surge of vulnerability wash over you, leaving you suddenly helpless before him. You don't have the slightest idea how you will be able to cope with that situation, how to get away from them again now that they have found you, especially him.

"What have you really come for?" you question, not hiding your distrust.

Criston keeps a serene attitude and look, seeking to soften the tension, but notices your demeanor and posture, of fear and alertness altogether.

"Just to talk," he tells you softly, "Believe me the last thing I want and Aemond too is to cause you trouble. We just want to talk and nothing more," he explains, but you are having none of it, "He was going to come himself, but he had to film some scenes. But he'll come as soon as he can."

This just adds more weight to the anxiety and nervousness you're already feeling, so it triggers an alert in you that makes you feel completely freaked out, definitely not wanting that.

"No," you try to retort with a firm tone, but your vulnerability shows in your trembling voice and nervous expression, "Please leave."

Concern flashes across Criston's face for an instant, unconsciously taking a step towards you.

"Y/N–

"Please," you plead, "Just go away and don't come back, none of you, not even him."

"Y/N, please, just let me—

"No," you interrupt him again, more desperate than before, "Please," you repeat.

The atmosphere is filled with a silence full of tension, where your words, full of desperation and longing to get away from the situation, float in the air, also asking for urgent distance and tranquility.

And Criston lets out a sigh.

"Just a few minutes," he says, struggling to find some control in the situation, "Just-let us talk to you, Aemond and me."

"If it's to talk about his career and his son, I'm not interested," you say firmly, but your trembling voice gives away your emotions, "We've talked about that before," you say with some bitterness and sadness in your tone, "You can go now. I don't plan on staying anyway."

Without having let go of the door frame, you try to close the door, ending all of this, but he instantly speaks again, stopping you.

"Please Y/N, Aemond is very worried and wishes to speak with you," he insists, "He hasn't been the same since you left, you should know that," he adds in a persuasive tone.

You let out a snort in disbelief and with some bitterness, as you look away from his gaze for a moment.

"I highly doubt that."

"Y/N—

The sound of Aenar's innocent laughter while playing with his toys catches Criston's attention, stopping his words, who unconsciously catches a glimpse inside your living room where Aenar is playing and also catches a glimpse of his small figure on the floor with his characteristic silver hair.

This immediately triggers your concern and increases your protective mode and you quickly close the door a little behind you, blocking his view, while your heart is pounding.

This is what you meant.

You don't want anything bad to happen to your son, in any way. And you will do anything to protect him, because they decided everything except to protect you and now you will not allow them to intervene in your son's life now that they know he is here.

"Y/N," he calls to you in a softer voice, watching you completely intently and desperately asking you with his gaze for a moment.

"Please don't," you plead with him, at the point of collapsing from worry and frustration.

Again you enter the apartment as you hold the door frame tightly to close it, but Criston stops you again.

"You must understand the gravity of what happened," he tells you seriously, "Your disappearance put Aemond's relationship with his son in danger. There are legal implications for you to consider, such as custody," he says and your heart flips, "I can explain all of this to you and resolve it in the best way possible," he looks at you in insistence, "But only if you let me in so we can talk."

And there they are again. Your greatest fears.

The word 'custody' repeats over and over in your mind, like a loop, causing you greater fear, worry and pressure than before, the gravity of the situation and the looming legal implications being clear.

The air weighs on you, heavy with uncertainty and intense tension, as well as you are overcome with the urge to cry because of your doubts and fear.

"Wh-what-" you try to speak in a whisper, your voice cracking and your heart in a fist, "Custody?" you repeat under your breath.

Criston watches you with some pity and understanding, then lowers his gaze, lets out a sigh and watches you with that sympathy and also a little expectant.

"May I come in?"

Try one more time and maybe it's because of his words that your mind is in a state of alarm that makes you recognize that you can't run away again or else things will get worse. And you don't want that. You are afraid for yourself and Aenar.

Feeling more of your anxiety, you finally allow him to enter and Criston at this thanks you with his gaze and moves carefully, noticing your visible discomfort and also your fear, not wanting to alter you any further with absolutely nothing.

And once the door closes, you immediately stand in front of Aenar with a weak and vulnerable posture trying to look strong, this catching his attention and feeling something warm in his chest at the presence of the little one.

But he also knows exactly why you react this way and he doesn't blame you for it, much less does it bother him because he understands you.

"I'm very honest when I tell you that we really don't want to create more trouble, Y/N," he tells you in a soft tone, "Aemond…. he really is very worried. And since he is my client, we don't want any legal implications or further conflict."

You try to keep your composure, but your thoughts are a storm of confused emotions. The very idea of dealing with legal issues, especially regarding your son, is overwhelming to you.

"Why now?" you ask in a trembling voice, your gaze searching for answers, "All this… why?"

Criston exhales slowly, trying to find the right words.

"The situation has changed, basically since you left. Aemond was wrong at the time and I admit I was too, so now he's willing to acknowledge your son, in every way possible."

You can't help but look incredulous and bitter once again.

"It's already too late for that, don't you think?" you ask him in a bitter tone.

Criston looks down for a moment, his expression one of compassion and understanding towards your perspective.

"Yes, we know," he nods to you, "And that's why we're here, trying to keep all this from becoming a bigger problem. But please Y/N, understand that Aemond doesn't want to hurt you or cause you any more trouble than he's already caused."

"And until now you say that?" you inquire sad, worried, fearful and indignant, "That's what I needed to hear before when I was scared, because I was scared too Criston, not just Aemond," you let him know, with tears in the corners of your eyes, "But you treated me like a problem you needed to get rid of, you and him."

Criston listens to your words with a gesture in his eyes that reflects the heaviness of the situation, just as you see shame and regret wash over him, suddenly seeing him as the vulnerable one and you as the strong one compared to years ago, the roles reversing for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. We didn't mean to make you feel that way," he says in a regret-laden tone.

"Sorry doesn't change anything," you say, fighting back tears.

You watch him with your hard stare and sad eyes, feeling several tears fall down your cheeks, making you remember once again.

And once again without letting it drown you, you force yourself to push those memories away, all your moments of uncertainty, fear and pain, to brush your tears away from your cheeks with a strong look of determination.

"I will accept any legal consequences if there are any," you say suddenly, trying to keep your composure, "If there are legal actions, I'm willing to face them. But for now, I just want to be left alone, please."

"Y/N," Criston calls you cautiously, "I just want you to understand that we want to do the right thing now. And what we want to do is find a solution that works for you and for Aemond regarding him," he points to Aenar with his gaze behind you, "Something that guarantees your privacy while not damaging his public image."

Then all the effect of his words completely disappear on you.

You feel a surge of frustration, annoyance and despair at the realization that still the main concern remains Aemond's career.

"Do you still think about his career?" you ask with disappointment and resentment in your tone.

"Y/N—

"The most important thing here is my son," you stand strong, "But he seems to be only one aspect of Aemond's image, doesn't he?"

"Even after all this time that has passed, Aemond's career is more successful and even promising than before, that is something that neither you, him nor I should forget, let alone ignore," he tries to explain to you, "Aemond wants to fix things but his career must also be contemplated, please understand this Y/N."

"Then why do you say you want to do things the right way now if that is not true?" you inquire.

"Yes it is true," he clarifies, "But within all of this, his career must still be contemplated."

You shake your head in disbelief, unable to believe it.

"You say a lot of things Criston, but it's clear what matters most to you," you say with no emotion in your voice, "And sure, why shouldn't his career matter most to you? After all… you don't know what it's like to get pregnant, without support and go through the whole process by yourself, and then raise a child on your own, without the support of his father."

"I don't mean to—

"Please go away," you plead once more and this again alerts him.

"Y/N—

He tries to speak but the sound of the door echoes throughout the living room, drawing your full attention and Criston's as well.

The atmosphere again becomes heavier than before, as well as all your confidence disappears, already knowing who it is and you are confirmed by the fact that the person behind the door knocks more insistently, sounding desperate.

With your fearful gaze and your whole body tense, you quickly move towards Aenar, who is still playing completely oblivious to everything that is happening on the floor and you take him in your arms with haste but also care.

You hold him tightly against your body, as a way to protect him from everything outside and also from all people especially while trying to contain all your emotions.

And Criston, who also knows who it is, rushes to the door to open it.

And there on the doorway, the figure of Aemond comes into view, with all the desperation and longing in his gaze, the worry and anguish too, as you muster the courage to be able to look him in the eye again, holding Aenar a little more firmly against your chest.

But your son's body is visible to the eye and that's what makes Aemond completely paralyzed at the sight of you with his son in your arms.

Surprise is completely reflected in his whole look, immediately followed by a bunch of emotions that start to pile up in his whole being and want to come out, as he feels his whole body tense up and a feeling in his stomach invades him.

This leaves him and you in a state of momentary restlessness, where time seems to stand still and the silence is too loud. You, with your gaze fixed on him, try to keep your composure with a mixture of fear, insecurity and some determination to protect your son at all costs.

It didn't take long for Aemond's surprise to turn into a moment of awe and a surge of overwhelming emotions. The mere sight of you with his child in your arms triggers disbelief, pent-up longing and a feeling of suppressed joy.

"Y/N," Aemond calls your name in a whisper, his tone laden with surprise and visible regret, where his gaze can't tear away from you and Aenar.

You say nothing, just watch him back without saying anything, with all your emotions reflecting in your eyes.

The moment is just the three of you, so Criston turns away completely, not interfering and saying absolutely nothing, while you continue in your protective mode and Aemond is still processing this whole moment.

With excitement clashing against the surprise in his eyes, he tries to process the reality of having his son before him for the first time.

He searches for the right words to speak, but his stuck mind won't let him, nor will the lump in his throat and stomach as he continues to watch the scene in front of him; you with his son in your arms.

He tries to say something, but his lips barely half open and the words won't come out, feeling his heart beating too fast and hard.

And you with your gaze full of expectation, fear and caution, Aemond finally looks at you again, aware of all the emotional charge you feel, just like him, as well as your fear and distrust after everything that happened.

"C-can… can I come closer?"

He finally asks cautiously, his voice with a tone of longing and nervousness barely contained.

You hesitate at that moment.

Feeling the weight of the situation and the emotions that are triggered at that moment, despite everything, you feel very vulnerable and you also feel his vulnerability, also that longing to touch Aenar and hold him.

And despite the way he acted with you almost two years ago and also the way Criston and all his team treated you, you don't feel able to be as cruel as they were with you back then.

You don't want to be like them and also aware that this day would come sooner or later, you watch Aenar for a moment, leave a soft kiss on his forehead and again watch Aemond, then nod in his direction with a barely perceptible gesture.

You allow Aemond your closeness and he with extreme care begins to approach you slowly, as if fearing that a sudden movement could fade the magical and longing moment.

Aemond's heartbeat echoes in your ears as he finally stands in front of your son.

Aenar, completely oblivious to everything, senses the nearness of someone else and raises his curious gaze to Aemond, watching him with those bright blue eyes.

And upon seeing that man with the same hair color as his own, his eyes light up with a gleam of curiosity, lightly waving his arms and also his body.

With his teary eye, he watches you for a moment, to again focus on Aenar and with a mixture of excitement and awe, he extends one of his trembling hands towards his small, delicate face.

And when the touch of his fingers against his soft skin of his cheek makes itself felt, Aemond feels an unfamiliar sensation invade him completely.

A sad but honest smile full of melancholy appears on his lips as he gently and carefully traces his face, running his hand up to his silver hair, gazing intently into those blue eyes just like his own as Aenar watches him with that playful innocence but also just as curious as his own.

You, unsure of exactly what to feel or think, watch as he carefully reaches out both arms and begins to hold his body, feeling the warmth and weight of his small body now resting in his arms.

That unfamiliar, overwhelming feeling from before comes over him even more strongly as he holds his son for the first time, when Aenar lifts one of his hands and touches his left cheek, where his scar is.

The emotion makes his breath hitch as he struggles to hold back the tears of restrained happiness that will come at any moment.

It was a moment he had imagined countless times, but had never believed possible until this instant.

Aenar, captivated by the newness and warmth in the arms of Aemond, his father, laughs innocently, his eyes dazzling a happiness as he notices the familiarity in that new face above him. And at his gesture, Aemond lets out a choked laugh, completely captivated by him.

And unable to contain himself any longer, the first sob escapes his throat and the tears fall, instantly pulling his son's face to his chest, embracing him with gentleness and that security that makes him feel so vulnerable when Aenar settles perfectly in his arms.

Guilt, sadness, joy, emotion, everything invades him in that moment.

And he lets out more tears for the comfort that Aenar gives him in his arms, that feeling of protection and even… love, that makes him feel even more vulnerable.

And you are still there, close to them but giving Aemond his space, watching everything attentively with your heart in a fist and feeling sensations you had not felt before at the scene, with tears also wanting to slide down your cheeks.

After a few more seconds, Aemond slurps his nose and looks over Aenar's small shoulder at you with all the vulnerability in his gaze.

"I-I know I don't deserve this," he says with his voice cracking, trying to control himself but he can't.

And he is about to say something else but you watching his expression, a mixture of regret and deep sadness, you step forward to speak.

"In spite of everything, he deserves to know his father," you murmur with your trembling voice and teary eyes, "Aenar deserves this," you assure him, accepting it as you watch the scene of the two of them.

Aemond nods, unable to articulate words, still feeling the lump in his throat, his face reflecting pain, regret and a sadness you have never seen in him before, as his tears continue to fall as he embraces his son.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, unable to contain the emotion, turning to him and to you. "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know how to face it…how to be there."

Silence again settles throughout the apartment, only being filled by Aemond's soft crying, as you silently weep and continue to watch the two of them.

A few minutes have passed since Aemond and your son met for the first time.

Aenar laughs with delight as Aemond plays with him with one of his toys. They are both immersed in a little world of fun where it's just the two of them, surrounded by Legos blocks, small plastic cars and puppets.

You watch everything, or almost everything, without interfering and giving them both their space, watching your son enjoy a special moment that on another occasion, could have been a daily routine with a different life.

Criston doesn't say or do anything either, he at all times stands in the corner watching the whole interaction, letting Aemond have his moment with his son, genuinely feeling happy for him.

And even though the scene makes you feel warm in your heart, being a scene you longed for before, you still still feel insecure, afraid and overwhelmed by this whole situation.

This doesn't really change anything. You have only given Aemond the opportunity to meet his son because your son deserves it, nothing more.

Inside you are still just as scared and in expectation that at any moment this whole 'beautiful' moment will fade away. And that's exactly what happens when you hear Criston's voice all over the living room.

"I wouldn't want to ruin the moment, truly," he says seriously and honestly, "But it's important that we talk about all this so we can resolve it properly."

This immediately catches your attention and also Aemond's, with whom you exchange a quick glance, again feeling your whole body tremble and out of the same nervousness you are overcome with the impulse to take your son in your arms to feel safe.

"It is important that we talk about the child, about what you are going to do now," he turns to Aemond, "Custody is important and all that goes with it."

"I don't understand why you keep talking about custody," you look at him nervously and annoyed, "I alone have cared for and raised Aenar all this time."

"I know this is complicated and sudden, Y/N," Criston tells you, "But we need to approach this whole thing responsibly."

"Responsibility?" you repeat incredulously, "What responsibility are you exactly talking about?"

"Y/N," Aemond immediately interjects, "Listen to me, please," he gets up from the floor leaving Aenar playing alone and walks towards you, "It's not my intention to take our son away from you, truly. But we must make sure we have legal rights to be in his life," he explains to you, "You were the one who ran away, who disappeared without a word. I didn't know what happened to you."

You look at him uncomprehendingly, with your hurt and desperate gaze.

"You talk about custody and rights when in the beginning that was the last thing on your mind, Aemond," you observe him incredulously, "And you keep reproaching me for running away when you know perfectly well that I did it so I could live and so I wouldn't ruin your career, which was all you were thinking about."

Regret again invades Aemond's face, as the atmosphere becomes denser, full of mixed emotions where fear and anger resurfaces with everything else.

Any trace of calm and peace, has ceased to exist, only being perceived by Aenar, who continues oblivious and innocent to all this in his games.

"I-I…" Aemond tries to speak, "I'm sorry for everything, Y/N. But back then...

His sentence hangs in suspense, not knowing what else to say, trying to find the right words without wanting to generate more tension, but that's what he involuntarily does.

"Back then," you repeat, your emotions running high, "Back then you were too busy taking care of your public image, supporting the idea of an abortion without consulting me, then supporting the idea of hiding me and my child as if we were a problem, which in fact we were and as if it was my only option, leaving me with no alternatives," you express with frustration and pain marked in every word.

Regret remains in Aemond's facial expressions, looking visibly affected by your words, grief-stricken and with a regret throughout his body that affirms to him that you are absolutely right, each word being like a dagger straight to his heart.

"Y-you don't know how much I regret and blame myself for all of that, Y/N," he tells you with vulnerability in his tone, "And I know I don't deserve it, any of this, not even that you allowed me to meet him and that I'm now in the same place as him," he says with regret, "But I want to find a solution that works for both of us," he whispers sadly.

The room is again consumed by silence, except for the sound of Aenar's toy movements, which is what catches Aemond's attention for a moment to smile a little more melancholy.

The situation becomes increasingly complex as your emotions continue to run high between anger and sadness, with the memory of past times still latent, but also with the uncertainty of the future.

And Criston, trying to keep calm, intervenes again.

"I understand that you both have different perspectives on what happened. But now we need to think about the future, of your son," he says seriously, "It's not just about custody, it's about finding a way to strike a fair balance, but… thinking about your career too, Aemond."

You let out a disbelieving, ironic snort again, shaking your head.

"His career,'" you repeat with a bitter tone, your voice a mixture of sarcasm and disappointment.

Aemond, watching you sadly and remorsefully, speaks in a calm but regret-laden voice.

"I don't want you to look at this that way, Y/N—

"That's just the way I see it," you interrupt him, serious and sad, "This is exactly why I left. This is why when I saw you again, I decided to run away again," you say hurt, "Now that you've met him, you want to be in his life, but you still prefer to hide us. This kind of life is the one you wanted to give us at the beginning and now you still do too."

Your revelations Aemond had already heard, but at that moment, again that sharp pain in his chest becomes present, as well as guilt, remorse and regret at seeing your sad face with such honest words.

"All I want is to come to an agreement, Y/N, please—

"You're not going to hide us," you interrupt him firmly.

"Aemond," he calls him seriously.

"No, that's not my intention—

He insists desperately but Criston intervenes.

"Don't," Aemond interrupts him instantly, turning serious and with an annoyed expression towards him, "We can't hide the truth anymore, Criston. Things must change."

"Look, I understand that this is difficult for you," he begins in a serious and cautious tone, "But still, we must consider the consequences. There's a lot at stake here, your career," he reminds him, "You have numerous job offers. Your show on HBO is the most famous show on the platform and the most watched show on television so far. How do you think people are going to react when they find out about your son?"

The room sinks into another silence, as you watch him with your hard, sad face, frustration, annoyance and irritation inside you, watching as Criston continues to treat your son like he's a problem.

And it hurts you.

Because Aemond doesn't even say anything.

"We can find a way to handle all this without putting at risk everything you have achieved, Aemond. And if you get a share of the custody, your son will be under your protection without harming your image," he proposes with an insistent look, seeking his approval.

You look away again, completely incredulous and with helplessness all over you.

It's not Aemond, it's Criston.

It is he who continues to manipulate Aemond to prioritize his career over his son, so that everything revolves around public image and fame, diverting attention from the well-being of your son.

And what can you really do there?

He is his agent, the person who has positioned him where he is now, making him famous, relevant, telling him what roles to take in movies or TV shows that are going to ensure one more success to his career.

"If you listen to him…" you begin to say in his direction with a trembling but firm tone, "If you do what he tells you, I swear I won't care what I have to do, even go into debt to get a good lawyer," you warn, "I will fight for the custody of Aenar and when I get it, I assure you that you will never see him again, ever."

Your words slip from your lips with a determination that completely surprises Aemond, surprise and concern visible on his face, watching you hurt for a moment, his mind a complete mess.

But it is not he who speaks, but Criston who takes the floor once more.

"If that's what you want, Y/N… that's fine," he tells you seriously, his gaze cold and calculating. "But let me warn you, we're trying to come to an agreement—

"The two of you or you specifically?" you snap at him.

"That doesn't matter, Aemond is my client and my job is to secure and protect his career," he tells you seriously, "And if you'd rather take this to fighting for full custody of Aenar, then so be it," he nods at you, "But I assure you, you're going to end up losing."

"That's enough."

Finally, Aemond's voice rises from where he stands, aimed directly at Criston, with a serious, hard stare that reveals a newfound determination.

"We are talking about our son, an issue that concerns her and me, this has nothing to do with you," he declares, his tone firm and his posture defiant.

"Your career has to do with me," he clarifies to her also serious, "You must think about what you are going to sacrifice. Your future, your career, the opportunities that await you-

"I said that's enough," he spits back at her, serious and annoyed, watching him with a hard stare, taking Criston by surprise.

And before he can say anything else, there is another knock on the door, drawing your full attention and making you feel completely alert, especially when Criston is the one who again goes to open the door, as if he knows exactly who it is.

And as you open the door, just like that day, Aemond's publicist, an assistant and the PR people enter your apartment.

Surprise flashes all over your face, watching with your eyes wide open the unexpected arrival of that group of people, whose intentions are not good.

"Thank you for coming," Criston tells them as he closes the door behind him.

"Of course."

Their eyes flick to you for a moment and then focus on Aenar, watching them back with curiosity in their gaze, while you feel confusion and fear completely take over you.

Despair, fear, your future, Aenar, everything mixes together in a horrible way that makes you want to vomit, letting out a couple of tears to quickly turn to your son and hold him in your arm, turning your back to them and starting to cry silently.

And Aemond, seeing your reaction, equally as surprised as you, quickly turns to Criston, his gaze full of confusion and annoyance.

"What is this? Why have you called them?" he inquires with his voice full of restrained anger.

And Criston, unabashed and uncaring of his actions, responds with a calm but calculated determination.

"We are not going before a jury to settle this, Aemond, it will be a waste of time and she will cause us more trouble," he says regardless, "This is necessary for your career, to address this whole issue strategically to protect your image, whether she likes it or not."

Aemond's expression transforms to one of frustration and helplessness.

But before he can intervene, his entire team begins to act.

"We need to establish an immediate plan, now," Criston says.

"Will the strategy be to minimize the impact on the media?" asks the publicity man.

"No, I want it hidden," Criston clarifies, "The approach must be careful and calculated. The priority is Aemond's reputation and career."

"I suggest we limit the exposure of Y/N and the child in public."

"We could create an alternative narrative to deflect attention by highlighting Aemond's professional accomplishments and minimizing the focus on his personal life."

"This must be handled with discretion. We cannot allow this situation to interfere with Aemond's career opportunities," Criston says firmly.

And so your entire living room fills with the sound of all those voices, each voice contributing ideas to control the situation, the problems, Aenar and you.

The tension intensifies, as everyone meticulously plans how to run the public narrative, completely ignoring Aemond's and your personal needs and concerns.

Tears slip down your cheeks silently as you hug Aenar tightly to your chest. This instantly catches the attention of Aemond, who steps worriedly towards you, placing his hand on your shoulder, positioning himself in front of you, but you abruptly pull away from him, watching him with an expression of pain and anguish amidst your tears and suffering face.

"Y/N—

"Why are you doing this? Why are you allowing this?" you ask in your broken, desperate voice.

"No, I swear to you I had no idea that he—

"I left, Aemond," you remind him with your voice cracking, "I left to save your career. And everything was fine, with you and me, our lives," you sob, "Why did you ask Criston to find me? Why do you care and insist on saying you want to be in our lives, when your career is still the most important thing?"

Pain and confusion echo in your words, lingering in the mind of Aemond, who in his gaze reflects a mixture of guilt, bewilderment, pain and sadness.

But everything hurts him more the moment you turn away from him, with a defeated gesture, turning your back to him and your whole body trembling in fear, Aenar in your arms being what gives you strength not to fall apart at that moment.

"We can prepare official statements to control the leaking information to minimize any negative impact on his public reputation."

"Rest assured that we need to maintain full control of this situation. We cannot allow any details to slip out," Aemond hears Criston's voice.

And that's when something snaps inside him.

Every repressed feeling bursts out in a whirlwind of emotions that were fighting to get out, your worry, the anger at himself and the guilt that invades him.

Everything explodes and ignites into a fury that he can no longer contain, seeing your state, causing him anger and feeling completely guilty.

Because everything is in fact his fault.

So without waiting a second longer, he walks to the center of the living room and with a hard, serious, completely annoyed look on his face and with his jaw clenched, he acts.

"Get out of here, all of you, now!" he exclaims, instantly drawing everyone's attention and yours as well.

For an instant everyone watches him and nothing else, slightly surprised and expectant, Criston too, unmoving and doing nothing, causing you a wave of despair.

"I said everyone out!" he exclaims in a firm voice and his gaze full of determination.

And it's only then that one by one the team finally leaves your apartment, except for Criston.

"What are you doing?" he inquires with a touch of disbelief in his tone, challenging Aemond.

"You get out of here too."

He orders him annoyed and with irritation, his voice charged with a frustration that has already reached its limit.

"Aemond, this is important, you can't just—

"I need to talk to Y/N alone," he interrupts her with his tone in a mixture of anger and determination, "I'm warning you, Criston. If you ever do anything else again without consulting me and interfering with this, I'm going to seriously consider firing you, which is what I should have done long ago," he shoots back at him with his defiant stare.

The pulse of the room beats with unbearable intensity as Aemond and Criston hold a duel of intense stares. However, in the face of Aemond's firmness, Criston finally resigns himself with a serious, annoyed look, full of frustration and resignation.

And finally he heads for the door, his footsteps sounding in the room as he leaves the apartment.

Aemond watches him leave with a mixture of relief and exhaustion, no longer feeling his shoulders tense. The silence expands once more as soon as the door closes and he turns to you with a gaze filled with a quiet, worried intensity.

The silence lingers for a few moments longer, a dense atmosphere charged with unspoken emotions. When he takes a step toward you, hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice ringing with sincerity and regret, "What happened, my insistence… none of this was my intention, much less to cause you pain and hurt you," he admits with his vulnerability again reflected.

And even though it's just you and him in your apartment, your fear lingers.

"P-please don't take my son from me," you plead between sobs, your voice filled with anguish and fear.

Aemond's heart contracts in suffering and worry at your words, his gaze instantly reflecting it.

"What? No, no, Y/N… that is not what I want to do, it is not my intention to take our son from you."

He tells you instantly insistent but in a serene and sincere voice, taking a few more steps towards you, placing himself in front of you, trying to reassure you. But tears continue to slide down your cheeks.

"This is why I left, so I wouldn't cause you any more trouble, so I could live and keep our son safe," you repeat with your voice cracking.

"I know, Y/N, I know," he tells you sympathetically and with a soft tone, "And you don't know how much I hate myself for having been the cause of you deciding to leave, for having hurt you so much to the point of having made that decision," he says sincerely, his eye beginning to tear up, "And this is not just about him, about our son," he tries to explain, "Yes, it is important, but it is also about us," he speaks with a longing, "Since you left, I never stopped thinking about you, and I-I...

He hesitates, unable to fully express his feelings, as he stands in front of you and wants to hold you, you and your son, as he faces his deepest emotions, feeling a tear run down his cheek and looks at you with all the sincerity and pain in his gaze.

"I love you," he finally says, in a completely vulnerable whisper, trembling, lowering his gaze, unable to look you in the eye, "Despite everything, despite my mistakes, despite my work, despite everything that happened…. I-I still love you," he declares in a whisper laden with longing and regret, "And our son too."

His words get stuck in your mind.

With your heart clenched by the surge of emotions, your eyes watch him back with a mixture of surprise, pain and longing. Aemond's sincerity and vulnerability... it's all too much and makes you feel completely helpless, definitely not expecting that.

You can't speak, your words get stuck in your throat, your heart fluttering with the intensity of the moment, your surprise.

And Aemond completely understands your silence.

"I understand that you don't love me anymore and that you can't love me again, I also understand that things can't go back to the way they used to be because of my job. But please… don't keep running away," he pleads quietly, "We won't fight over custody, there will be no legal repercussions, I'm not going to do any of that," he assures you, "Just…" he lets out a long breath, "Just get back to work and let's face this together."

He proposes with his voice full of fragile but hopeful determination, unexpectedly causing you to feel a relief and a warm feeling in your chest.

"I just want Aenar to be okay and let's consider his well-being as the most important thing," you say quietly, while Aemond listens attentively with his face full of longing, regret and understanding, "But we need time and patience. Also that no one else interferes."

Aemond nods, with a slightly more relieved expression, but keeping in mind that there is much to resolve, to heal and to build.

"I understand that and… I'm willing to do whatever it takes… for him and for you," he says sincerely.

You nod too, as silence takes over again, but this time it is permeated with a shared understanding and a determination to face whatever is necessary for Aenar's well-being.

And finally after so much, you feel calm and fortunately, this time with the support of Aemond, who hesitantly leaves a gentle kiss on your forehead and another on Aenar's forehead, taking him back into his arms.

taglist:

@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys

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@anehkael

[sinofwriting]

Made For Each Other - Max Verstappen

Words: 3,486 Summary: Max never put much stock into love at first sight until meeting her. Note(s)/Warning(s): Near Physical Cheating, Some Emotional Cheating (on Kelly not reader). So this is the toxic!max fic I mentioned and uh yeah this isn’t super like toxic but it’s something. Also, I will not apologize for inserting found family into this fic.

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“What?” Max presses his lips together, jaw twitching and he’s happy that P isn’t here, but with Daniil’s parents. “Things haven’t been good for us in awhile.” Maybe ever. He thinks and nearly winces, because they had been good in the beginning. But things had changed halfway through the 2021 season and it had only gotten worse as the weeks and months went on. “Kelly, it is unfair to you for me to pretend that I want to be with you anymore.” He nearly says that once the season was over he was already planning on breaking up with her, but manages to hold his tongue. She’s looking at him in that way that he hates, that’s caused arguments because it reminds him of his father. “What do you want me to tell P?” He can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes him at her easy acceptance. “Tell her that I will always love her and that if she ever wants to talk to me, she can call and I’ll do my best to answer.” “Okay.” Her voice is quiet and she looks around his apartment. “There shouldn’t be much here, but what you do find, have it shipped to me.” “Of course.”

He watches as Kelly walks towards the front door and maybe he shouldn’t say anything, doesn’t want to give her false hope, but he can’t help it. “Kelly.” She stops, her hand on the door knob ready to turn it. “Thank you for the past few years and all your support.” He sees her shoulders move as she sighs. “Your welcome, Max.” And then she turns the handle and walks out of his apartment.

He watches the door for a moment, feeling like if he looks away, suddenly she’ll be back. But the handle doesn’t turn and he’s spinning around to move to the couch where he had thrown his phone when Kelly had unexpectedly come here.

His thumb quickly moves across the screen, opening his last text message thread and sending a simple text.

I broke up with her.

It stares up at him and three dots appear along with those little check marks and he can’t help but smile. And god if the media could see him now, smiling after just breaking up with his girlfriend of so long, they’d use this as some sort of proof that he is the devil.

And now what?

His smile grows and his thumb moves again.

And now I come to you.

—

“You know, I thought you athletes had to train. Keep fit for the season.” She teases as he watches her move around her small kitchen. “I’ve barely been here a day and you’re kicking me out?” She shakes her head at him. “No it’s just I know that China got canceled, but you do have another race soon.” He shrugs, “It’s at the very end of the month. Besides, there's a gym close by. I can go there.” “And did you tell your trainer that you wouldn’t be home so he shouldn’t drop off any food or expect you?” His eyes widened. “Fuck.” He curses, scrambling out of the kitchen and to the bedroom where his phone is, her laughter ringing in his ears.

Calling Brad, he hears the phone ring three times before his trainer picks up. “Hello,” “Hey Brad, uh I’m not home right now. I mean, I’m not in the uh country.” “Did they call you for some testing?” “Uh no. I’m not there either. Just took a bit of a break, so don’t worry about meals or anything.” There’s a bit of silence before Brad speaks again. “Max, is everything alright?” “Yeah, yes. Everything is fine. I just needed a bit of a break. I’ll see you in Milton on the twenty-first, yeah?” “Sure.” “Great.” And Max hangs up the call, feeling a bit like a hurricane.

“You’ve made me go crazy.” He tells her when he sees her standing in the door of the bedroom, raising an arm when she doesn’t move. She immediately moves into his space, wrapping her arms around his waist, as his arm wraps around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Have I?” “Yes. Meeting you has made me crazy.” “Do you regret it?” “No.” The answer is swift and firm, because no he could never regret it.

So much had changed since he had seen her for the first time just barely two weeks ago. Most of those changes happened in the past forty-eight hours. But he liked those changes.

He liked how he felt ever since she first looked at him, shook his hand, said his name. Liked how she made him smile and laugh. Maybe it was fucked but he liked how in Austrailia when he won and he nearly kissed her at the afterparty, she had to press her hand on his chest and hold him back. Remind him that he had a girlfriend. Had to stop him from pulling out his phone to call her and break up with her right then and there. Liked that despite that, she had taken his unlocked phone, added her number and told him to text her. Pressed her lips to his cheek and let the scent of her bury itself in his brain. He liked that when he first texted her asking when he could see her again, she hadn’t asked who, just told him they could talk when he was single. Liked that barely a day later he had texted her telling her he was and now he was here, with her, in her home.

Max loved however, her. The way she kissed him when he showed up at her doorstep. The then slight shyness she had over her giving him her number and her text, though there was no guilt or apology to be found in her words. Just more disbelief that she had done so. How she smelled, her house smelled. The way she sat, how her fingers brushed over his skin. How passionate she was about her job, about the music she listened to, and the candle that sat beside her bathtub.

And so it comes out. “I love you.”

He shouldn’t be saying it. People would and will call him crazy for it, but he knows himself. He knows what he’s feeling. And he loves her. Loves this woman that he hasn’t even known for a month. And fuck, people like to talk about how love at first sight doesn’t exist and you don’t know when someone is the one immediately or so soon after meeting them, but that isn’t true. There are outliers. He’s got a cousin that married her husband barely a year after dating him and they are happier than any couple he’s ever seen. One of the guys he grew up karting with met his girlfriend and a month later they were moving in together. He thinks they have three kids or maybe it’s four now.

And she, she feels like he was made for her and only her.

“I love you too.” The words aren’t whispered, no shame or doubt on them. Just certainty and he doesn’t know that she’s thinking the same thing. That she was made just for him.

—

She doesn’t come to the next race no matter how much he begs. Even when he’s about to run late for his flight back to the factory, head buried her neck as he pleads with her to come. But she only laughs, brushing her fingers through his hair.

“You just barely made a statement about no longer being with Kelly.” And he kind of hates that there’s no distaste in her voice about him having a girlfriend when they met. He knows that if she had been seeing someone his blood would be boiling everytime his name got brought up or even hinted at. “Give it a bit to settle.” He straightens with a bit of frown, “I won’t hide you.” She laughs, eyes lighting up and it makes him smile. “I’m not asking you too. Just for patience. I don’t want your PR team to end up hating me.” “Miami, then?” She shakes her head, pushing him away. “You have a plane to catch, Max.” “Imola?” He asks, backing up. Eyes widening a bit when she shakes her head again. “Monaco?” “Max!” And she’s laughing again. “Spain?” And this time she nods her head and he groans, picking up his duffel bag that’s been sitting by the door for probably thirty minutes now. “That is so fair away. You will make me wait that long?” “Oh, poor baby. Having to wait just a little over a month.” He pokes his bottom lip out, unashamed to pout. Because yes, not having her with him for the next four races sounded like torture. He had only gotten a taste of what her support was like in Australia. He wanted all of it now.

She must see that on his face because her smile turns fond, no more teasing and she’s capturing his lips in a quick kiss. “It will go by faster than you think, Max. And it gives me enough time to get everything situated so I can really be comfortable working from anywhere in the world.” “So, you’ll join me for the rest of the season?” “Yes.” He grins, pressing their lips together once, then twice. “If it does not go by fast like you say,” She stops him before he can continue. “Go, Max, it will. And I’m always a call away.”

—

The press eagerly awaits Max’s arrival in Baku. Hoping to see the two time world champion, downtrodden, miserable, regretful. Instead they get an even better story. He arrives at the track on the phone laughing, smile wide and body relaxed. It wasn’t the image of a man who had just separated from his girlfriend of a few years. It was the image of a man happier than he ever had been before.

They all want to ask questions, want to ask who he’s talking to, what or who perhaps has him smiling. Why did he and Kelly break up? Did he break up with her? Did she with him? But none of them are willing to risk the odd relationship that Red Bull has with the press, kind even generous until you cross the line.

—

“No more races without you.” He murmurs when she arrives at his hotel in Spain, his breath causing goosebumps to appear on her neck. “No more.” She agrees, before pulling slightly away, just so they can look at each other. “Hi.” She greets. He smiles at her. “Hi.” “Congrats on Monaco.” He huffs, but something warm fills him with her words. “You said that on the phone.” “That was on the phone.” She teases, before lifting her arms to loop them around his neck. “Proud of you, Max.” He doesn’t know how to respond to that, to how sincere her words are, so he presses their lips together.

“I love you.” She breathes when they break apart, panting slightly with shiny and swollen lips. “I love you too.”

—

The camera's shuttering intensifies as soon as Max’s car that he was given for the race weekend arrives at the track on Saturday. And it only gets worse when instead of just locking the car and starting his walk to the red bull garage, he rounds to the other side, opening the passenger door and helping a woman get out.

This woman is not one that any of them recognize. She is not Max’s mother or sister. She is not Kelly or some sort of model, super, instagram, or swimsuit. And even better they don’t recognize this Max. Who as soon as she is out of the car, purse in hands, shuts the door for her, which is fairly typical for him. But what is not is the way he presses his lips to hers for a quick kiss, before snaking an arm around her waist, a sort of love sick smile on his face as they begin the walk.

“I can’t believe you wanted me to come to one of these things earlier.” She murmurs to him, giving a wave to all the cameras. If she was going to do this, be with Max, she’d have to get used to them and quickly. “I still wish you had.” He murmurs back, squeezing her waist and turning his head to press his nose quickly to the top of her head. “Did you tell anyone about me or that I was coming?” She asks, though she already has a feeling what the answer is as they move further into the paddock and sees some of the drivers do double takes. He smirks, “now why would I do that?” She shakes her head, “your PR team is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Her eyes then catch on a slightly familiar man who’s looking at Max with murder in his eyes and she amends her statement. “Daniel is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Max pales slightly as he takes a look at the man she only knows from his stories and a few brief clips she’s seen on youtube.

As soon as they enter Red Bull’s hospitality for the weekend, Daniel pounces. Dragging Max and her since Max refuses to let go of her, to Max’s drivers room.

When the door closes, Daniel shoves Max though she expects more gently than he normally would due to her and stands in front of the door, hands on his hips, anger and disappointment warring on his face.

“Max.” “Daniel.” He replies, though it's a bit meek and she can’t help but give his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and stepping away. Not returning to his side despite the offended and hurt look he gives her. She shakes her head. “I told you that you could tell people.”

Daniel turns to look at her, giving her a quick grin. “I like you.” He declares before turning back to Max, grin gone.

“Seriously Max. First there was Kelly and you breaking up, which I found out through social media and you still haven’t told me how that whole thing went down.” She winces at the exasperation in Daniel’s voice. She knew from Max how close they were, considering themselves brothers just about and she couldn’t imagine how Daniel felt learning about Max’s breakup from social media and not the man himself.

“And now this!” He waves his hands around between her and Max. “I’m sure you're great.” He tells her quickly and she gives him a sheepish smile. “I mean really Max. What gives?” Max stares at the older man, unsure of what exactly to say to him.

It wasn’t like he didn’t think the people he was closest to weren’t going to have a reaction to the news of his breakup and now new relationship. It’s just that besides Daniel none of them had really reached out wanting to know what happened because they were all right with not knowing. They knew that if Max wanted to talk about it with them, he would. But Daniel was different.

He talked to Daniel about everything. A side effect of the older man having to deal with him as a teammate for those few years when he was so young and trying to really figure himself out. They had developed a different kind of relationship. One where he knew that he could go to Daniel with anything and everything and receive no judgment, only support. Daniel to him was a weird cross of a friend, brother, and father.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes and his hands tighten into fists a little. Always unsure of himself when apologizing. “I should have called. Told you, explained what happened.” He hesitates, but knows that Daniel deserves the truth. “I nearly did.” And wasn’t that the truth. There were many times he nearly called or texted Daniel to tell him about the stunning girl he saw, then met, then nearly kissed, then got together with. But he hadn’t. He knew if he told Daniel, he’d end up telling everyone. Daniel stares at him, face giving away nothing, making him fidget, before he sighs and gives Max a smile. “It’s all good mate. You’re a bit of a cunt. But,” he shrugs, grinning. “You’ve always been like that.” Max lets out a laugh, relaxing at the familiar energy of Daniel. “Yeah, just a bit.”

He turns to look at his girlfriend, who's looking between the two of them with a smile, beckoning her back to his side. Enjoying how she easily fits into his side. “Daniel, this is my girlfriend,” and he knows his voice is lovesick when he says her name with the way Daniel looks at him. “Darling, Daniel.” “It’s nice to meet you, Daniel. Max talks about you a lot.” Daniel’s eyes flicker to Max, expecting some sort of an embarrassment or denial, but the younger man just nods. And that’s good enough for Daniel, who immediately grins at her before pulling her into a hug. “Nice to meet you as well. Max treating you well? I taught him everything he knows.” He tells her with a wink when he releases her. She lets out a small giggle at his words, but nods. “Very well. And thank you for your services.” She winks, making Daniel laugh.

“Oh, you are amazing. Now, tell me how this happened and what happened with Kelly.” He says gesturing between the two of them, sitting on the folding chair in the room, while they sit on the couch. “They are very much connected.” She laughs, before patting Max on the arm and sitting back fully.

“Oh, no.” Max groans, running a hand over his face. Daniel was going to have a fucking laugh. “So, we met a little before the Australian Grand Prix. Nearly had an incident there.” He tilts his head towards her and Daniel nods, understanding what he’s saying. “I actually nearly broke it off there. She managed to stop me however. But when I got home to Monaco, I broke up with Kelly then and there. Was already planning on doing it at the end of the season.” Daniel nods. “You mentioned that before.” “Yeah.” Max sighs, before telling him the rest.

Daniel stares at him for a moment after he's done before shaking his head, with a sort of breathless laugh. “Only you, Max. Only you. I’m happy for you though.” Max smiles at the older man’s easy acceptance. “Thank you.” “PR’s going to kill you for not giving them any warning.” He rolls his eyes, she had been telling him the same thing. “They won’t do anything. Besides, didn't they want me to be more personable?” “Don’t think this is what they meant or had in mind.” She tells him. “Probably hoping you’d vlog. Do what Charles and Lando do.” His nose wrinkles at the idea, making her and Daniel laugh.

—

“You’re good for him.” Daniel murmurs as they watch qualifying. She turns her head a little, still keeping most of her focus on the track. “Think so?” “Know so.” He corrects, taking a moment to flash her a smile. “Max and Kelly,” he sighs. “They had a lot of issues.” She says for him. “Wanted different things or the same things but not at the same time.” “Yeah,” the older man breathes, feeling at ease with how much she knows. “She made him happy at first ya know? But you,” he pauses to shake his head. “You make him into the person I think he would’ve been without Jos. Relaxed, at ease, happy.” His voice is a little quieter with the last word and she has to blink so she doesn’t start to cry. “I want him to be happy. And I know we fell into this fast, but Max.” She sighs, feeling a smile stretch across her lips as her heart flutters in her chest all at his name, at the thought of him. “I was made for him.” Daniel chuckles, taking in the infatuated, lovesick, expression on her face. It was the same look he had seen earlier on Max. It was nice to see that it really did go both ways. “There might be some fuss around it, but it’ll die down eventually.” He hesitates not wanting his next words to seem to much, but thinks fuck it. They went to the extremes here, and she’d have to get used to it fast with Max, if she wasn’t already. “I’ll message a few drivers that I know will support you and Max. We’ll have your guys back with the media or anyone else.” His support and approval make her reach out, squeezing his forearm for a few seconds. “Thank you, Daniel. It means the world to me.”

---

Tagging: @lapb @gemofthenight @peachiicherries

[jerryterry]

There was one inevitable downside (/upside for Tumblr Drama fans?) to all of these poll tournaments coming to Tumblr, and that's "fandom polls being run by people with a massive bias/opinion that they can't help from plastering all over the posts". Like, there's this one New Vegas poll currently running where the OP has a seething hatred for Cass, among others - badmouthing characters in their poll posts, getting into ranting arguments about it. It's inconsequential and funny, and situations like this are a dime a dozen on this site, but seeing this made me want to take a look at this one a lil closer. Because it brushes into something small I've always found interesting about New Vegas: the rumor of homosexuality in the Legion, as well as a wider factor about the writing of companions in general (Under a read-more for length).

OP literally says "If you tell her you're a gay man, she calls you a nazi", so lets take a look at the line they cite for this:

There's multiple points where characters joke about the Legion having similar prominent homosexuality to the actual Romans (which was notable enough that there's straight-up a "Homosexuality in ancient Rome" Wikipedia page). For example:

- Veronica

- Major Knight

What's interesting is that the one character who talks about his direct experience with this subject, Jimmy (a former Legion slave), actually says something that contradicts that last quote:

This opens up the likely possibility that it's NCR propaganda - a homophobic lie to emasculate the enemy. Even if maybe it IS something common in the Legion, it's something frowned upon and is at best a rampant open secret. Either case makes Major Knight's quote provably false.

Regardless, it's a wide non-Legion belief that homosexuality is common and accepted in the Legion. If the source of that rumor IS cooked-up homophobic propaganda, it's interesting that it hasn't worked on the only characters who talk about it. All three of those quotes not only have no ill will toward the idea (Cass immediately states it's not an issue AND notes how common it is behind closed doors), but two of them are mentioned in a context of longing: Veronica's quote is immediately followed by her being angry that only men are allowed to be gay, wishing the same for lesbians. Major Knight's quote is in the context of him having to hide his homosexuality at work -- which sadly makes it clear that the propaganda was likely more effective in general than on the one straight character who mentions it.

I'd say it's funny that OP has a hatred of Cass for being homophobic despite being one of the few characters in-game who makes an explicit statement of not having a problem with homosexuality (I for one would've loved to see Boone - the biggest NCR bootlicker around - make his stance clear on the matter). But admittedly it IS tactless and clumsy to make a backhanded comparison of gayness to the Legion (that statement's obvious expository purpose aside). They also read "there's a lot more of that in the Mojave" to mean "ew, it's not this bad where I come from!", but Major Knight makes it clear that where she comes from is actually MORE supportive. As well as another comment she makes about having slept with women while drunk, which OP construes as likening homosexuality to a drunken mistake.

Like, relax. Yes, "I have no problem with it" isn't the most heartfelt statement of support. But the most Cass' words betray about her is ignorance. I think it's clear she's well-meaning but ignorant, and for the most part intentionally written that way. Most of the companions have intentional personality flaws - Cass is crass, tactless, and stubborn. Arcade is an idealist to a fault (in the game's opinion). Boone is blinded by loyalty to a flawed system despite enacting the worst parts of it. Veronica talks like every line was written by Joss Whedon. The others' flaws are a little more external, but ALL of the companions are intended to be flawed and have pros and cons (while not entirely equal), and all are still intended to be well-meaning people despite this.

It reflects a realism in the nuance of human beings. In general, the writing often tends to rely on this "no black or white, ALWAYS nuance" approach to an almost frustrating degree - like I WISH you could get a better ending for the Followers in a "did everything right" Yes Man ending, even though I know the phrase "did everything right" itself goes against the core philosophy of NV. The poll thing was intended as more of a jumping-off point to talk about some stuff in New Vegas I find interesting rather than a response to that post, but honestly - I know Tumblr has a bit of a problem with seeing nuance, but have a little faith in the writers, will you?

Oh. They... think the game itself pushes the idea that "all fascists are gay"??? How can you be a fan of this game yet have such a low opinion of its writing? Such a lack of critical understanding? This person says "According to my academically trained eye..." and then goes on a series of reaches that critically misunderstand the text in a really unfavorable way, just because they were (understandably) offended by a clumsy offhand statement a character makes and immediately clarifies. And they chose to run a poll despite their open hatred for some of the characters involved (they also seem to hate Boone, for obviously more understandable reasons). Interesting choice.

What's funnier is that OP's open disdain for this character makes it more likely for Cass to win the poll on account of spite votes. Cass would've absolutely been buried by Arcade and Veronica in any other scenario.

Anyway, here's a YouTube comment I found while grabbing these quotes that I found funny:

[Transcripts of screenshotted quotes are available in the alt text]

[slowlydehydrating]

I've been thinking more about Sammy and what her issue(s) with her parents could be because they couldn't make them straight up homophobic without retconning the end of Camp Cretaceous - Her dad hugging her and Yasmina when they got back or the fact that both of her parents and her abuela were okay with letting Yasmina stay over for the summer and were supportive of her moving to Texas for college after the 1.5-2 year timeskip.

I think the main issue might just be her being vegetarian, because to a family of commercial beef farmers that's essentially denouncing their entire livelihood, especially since she won’t be continuing the family business because of it. And considering she's the oldest by a few years, that could have an effect on her younger siblings and to her parents that would mean an end to the business they worked so hard to create, and it would sting even more to know it’s because their kids think what they’re doing and what they've done is morally wrong.

And even though she brought up feeling safe in Season 2, that can still track because a lot of homes are unsafe for vegetarian kids. Sammy’s only 20, maybe 21 depending on her birthday, so odds are she went vegetarian as a teenager while still living with her parents. That could've easily caused tension, if not arguments, between them. And to a teenager, especially if they have been generally chill beforehand, their parents screaming and yelling can be scary and make them feel unsafe.

If they do with homophobia, I don't think they’ll take the “her parents are flat out homophobic towards her and Yasmina in an explicitly hateful way” route, I think they'll go with them being homophobic by prioritizing bigots for the sake of keeping the peace. Still homophobic, but in a way fits what we've seen of them.

Like, they’ll accept and support them at home, but they'll also introduce Yasmina to people as Sammy’s best friend, ask Sammy to keep having a girlfriend to herself at family reunions, and won't shut down certain kinds of homophobia from relatives, kids at school, or other people in their community because “everyone has a right to their opinions” or something along that line.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Chapter 6

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

“Oh would you look who decided to acknowledge I exist?”

Steve didn’t hold back his eye roll at Robin’s words since she couldn’t see him. He’d decided to call her on the walk to his car after work, just to update her on things and make sure she was okay if he wasn’t home right after work.

“We just saw each other yesterday.”

“More than 24 hours ago, Steve.”

“We are two separate humans, Robin.”

“But only one brain. Look at you separating a whole brain. This is why I couldn’t concentrate today. You took it with you.”

“Are you done?” Steve sighed. “If you’re done, I need to talk to my best friend.”

“What’s wrong?” Robin’s tone went from slightly annoyed to concerned, which meant she’d never actually been that annoyed to begin with.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home late.”

Please don’t ask, please just accept it, don’t ask, don’t ask.

“Why?”

Fuck.

“Just stopping by Eddie’s for a bit.”

He was met with complete silence. He pulled his phone away to make sure the call hadn’t been dropped. It hadn’t.

“Robs?”

“Steve. I’m saying this because I love you.” Oh boy, here we go. “I’m worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry about. I’m just hanging out for a bit and then coming home.”

“You’ve practically lived with him since Saturday!”

“Okay, just because I slept over…”

“Twice! In a row!”

“It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Uh huh. It doesn’t mean anything except you have barely been home and you literally went to subspace and dropped and probably subspace again with this stranger who did one nice tattoo and suddenly you’re ready to fly to Vegas and forget me!”

Ah. Steve let himself feel guilty for a moment before he remembered her insistence just a few weeks before that he needed to find other friends besides her, be social, maybe find a boyfriend.

Well, now he was doing some of that and she had a problem?

“I’m just enjoying my time with someone new. This is what you’ve wanted me to do forever, right?”

“Not like this!”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m not following your rules for my friendships.”

“This isn’t a friendship, this is some weird sexual situation that’s gonna end up messy and you’re gonna end up hurt. It’ll be Nancy all over again.”

That hurt. Robin had been the one to get him through the Nancy heartbreak, always offering whatever support he needed while he worked through his disappointment that turned into an identity crisis that turned into a bit of a change of personality. She never judged him for his response to it. She was the perfect friend.

Having her throw it at him like this left a sour taste in his mouth and a hollowness in his chest.

She’d never spoken to him like this, not even when they got into stupid little arguments about cleaning the common areas of the apartment that sometimes escalated more than they should. This felt like she was jealous and taking it out on him.

Jealous of what though? She never seemed interested in having an actual relationship, and she was out all the time, leaving him to fend for himself in their apartment.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Steve.”

“Yeah, well. I appreciate the concern.”

Steve hung up. It wasn’t the mature thing to do, he knew that. But he was hurt, and he didn’t want to make things worse by letting the hurt out on her. He would talk to her when he got back home.

They were best friends, platonic soulmates. They’d get past this.

But for now, Steve turned his notifications off on his phone, got in his car, and drove to Eddie’s house.

– - – – – –

He made it inside with no issues, putting the key back under the mat once the front door was unlocked.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket once he was inside, ignoring the many texts from Robin to send a quick text to Eddie.

Made it home. Gonna make spaghetti. That okay?

He was looking around the kitchen to find all of the things he’d need when his phone started buzzing.

Eddie was calling.

“Hey, thought you’d be with the client.”

“I am, but it’s a friend. She’s taking a break. How was the rest of your day?”

Steve didn’t want him to know about his fight with Robin, not when most of it revolved around how quickly he was becoming attached to him.

“It was fine. Um, spaghetti’s okay? I just figured you probably had stuff for it.”

Eddie didn’t immediately respond, and Steve tried not to let himself worry.

“Spaghetti’s perfect. What happened, sunshine?”

How did he know? Steve was notorious for hiding his feelings from people, he’d been a champion for most of his life out of self-preservation.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Steve was putting everything into being convincing.

Eddie was at work, he didn’t need to deal with Steve’s problems.

“Stevie, did something upset you? Do you need me to come home?”

God, of course he would offer to hurry back. He was so nice and Steve didn’t deserve it.

“Steve. I will leave right now and come back, just say the word.”

“No, no. I’m okay. Just had an argument with Robin. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry, sunshine. What will help?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t think he could really talk about it right now. He didn’t want Eddie to feel like he had to talk him through it when he was with a client.

He started to feel worse.

“I think maybe I should head back early tonight. Make sure I see her before she goes to bed.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll be done here in an hour. You don’t have to cook anything, I’ll just grab us something on the way.”

“No. It’ll keep me busy. Can I cook please?”

He didn’t mean to sound so whiny, or practically beg, but it must have worked because Eddie gave in.

“If you really want to, you can cook. But I want you to go change into my clothes first, okay?”

Thank God Eddie couldn’t see the redness of his cheeks spreading down his neck.

“Okay. Can I wear your hoodie?”

He knew it would smell like him, and he knew it was soft, and he knew it would make him feel a million times better.

“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s on the bed. I’ll text you when I leave here, but call me if you need me before that.”

“I will.”

“Good boy. See you soon, sunshine.”

Steve felt warmer, lighter, more like he could handle the feelings Robin brought up. He knew if he could feel like this for a little bit, he could easily handle whatever conversation they’d have when he got home.

— — — — — —

Steve was so focused on the sauce he was making, he didn’t hear the front door open or footsteps come through the living room and into the kitchen or Eddie walking up behind him.

He felt strong arms wrap around his chest from behind, a soft kiss placed on his temple.

He leaned back against the warmth of Eddie, the calm he exuded taking over the whole kitchen.

“Welcome home, Eds.”

“Mm. Could get used to that,” Eddie said as he kissed Steve’s cheek, then his jaw, his neck.

Steve was doing his best to stay focused. He was cooking dinner, right.

He started to lean forward, but Eddie pulled him back again.

“Babe, I have to cook,” Steve giggled.

“Not done,” Eddie said against his neck, teeth barely scraping against Steve’s pulse point and causing him to let out a moan.

“I don’t.” Kiss. “Want this.” Kiss. “To.” Tongue.

Fuck.

“You keep cooking, sunshine. I’m just gonna enjoy my appetizer.”

“But I made garlic bread,” Steve pouted, pulling away as much as Eddie would let him. “For an appetizer.”

Eddie pulled away and looked at Steve, blinking at him as if he were confused.

Then he broke out in a huge smile.

“You’re trouble, sunshine.”

And to Steve, that sounded like he was saying something entirely different.

— — — — — — —

They didn’t talk about Robin.

Steve put their food on plates while Eddie grabbed some beers from the fridge.

It was very domestic. Comfortable. Nice.

Eddie insisted on sitting right next to Steve, one hand on his thigh for the entire dinner. His thumb was rubbing back and forth, his fingers sometimes drew designs on his knee, and he tapped rhythms into his skin until it felt like Steve was part of the song.

It was easy.

They talked about their days. Steve gave him the full play-by-play of his meeting with Will and Eddie kissed his cheek when he was done and told him how happy he was that Will liked it.

Eddie told him about his appointment, Chrissy, who he’d been good friends with since high school. He’d shown her that tattooing was a way to love her body when she’d been diagnosed with an eating disorder. He promised her he’d do any tattoo she wanted for free if she went through the intensive rehab and therapy process, and four months later, she came by his shop and became his favorite client on top of one of his best friends.

Steve leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as he spoke, smiling to himself as he realized that Eddie was just a caring person.

He cared about everyone in his life in a way that Steve had not been familiar with before Robin.

He cared the way Steve cared, and he made Steve want to show it more.

He made Steve want to be bright in a way he’d never wanted to be before.

Eddie made him feel like he could shine.

He felt the impending rain cloud of leaving his side, though. Facing Robin would be a storm he didn’t want to weather tonight, feeling a bit overwhelmed already from his day of emotions.

It had started so good. It felt good right now.

“You got quiet on me, sunshine. What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours?”

A lot. So much. He didn’t know how to answer without putting everything on the table, and he knew he couldn’t do that right now. He didn’t want to cry either and that was getting more likely the more tired he got.

“Just thinking.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Anywhere you want is fine with me, sweetheart.”

Steve could tell him a little. Maybe talk about how much he wanted to stay by Eddie’s side. Or how he didn’t know how he was already so attached, but the thought of not having Eddie around was already devastating.

How much he could love him if he was given the chance.

“I’m scared that Robin’s right.”

Well, that’ll spark a conversation he didn’t want to have.

Nice job, idiot. You’re gonna end up spilling your secrets.

“Right about what?”

Eddie’s arm was now wrapped around Steve’s shoulder, hand resting against his arm where his fingers were tracing designs that Steve would tattoo on his skin.

“She said this is gonna end bad. I’ll get hurt. She didn’t want me to come tonight.”

Yeah, that’s not giving too much away.

Eddie’s fingers froze against his arm.

“She thinks I’d hurt you?”

“I guess.”

And a part of Steve believed it too. That was part of why he felt so shitty. Eddie already held the power to hurt him and he didn’t even realize it.

“Stevie, look at me for a minute.”

Steve pulled away, letting Eddie’s arm fall, but quickly finding his hand to lace their fingers together for extra comfort.

“I know this is gonna sound crazy, and it’s okay if you don’t wanna stick around after, but,” Eddie’s eyes were shining. Was he going to cry? “I’ve never felt like this with anyone. I’ve never wanted to spend every moment with someone before you. I missed you so much today, it was like I was being torn in half. I know it’s crazy. I know. But you’re important to me. I don’t know what will happen, I don’t know what you want, I just know that I wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you.”

Steve could feel his lip quivering. He knew he had tears in his eyes.

He was in deep and the only way out was through.

“I don’t know how to explain how much being around you has changed me. Just in the last two days I’ve felt like someone I didn’t even know I could be. Robin’s worried because,” Steve took a deep, steadying breath. He had to be honest. Eddie deserved it. “I jump into things quickly. I’ve always been like that. I commit hard and fast and I end up hurt every time. She was around for the worst one with my ex-girlfriend. She’s worried this will be like that and thinks you’re just using me for the sexual aspect of it. Well, she thinks we’re using each other, I think. And maybe if you were different, I would be. I’m not always a great guy. But it’s just that you’re you. You’re the kind of person who will always get the best me because you deserve someone who makes you feel the way you make other people feel.”

The words just didn’t stop coming.

Steve would’ve been more nervous about it if he wasn’t watching the fondness seep out of Eddie’s pores.

His every movement revolved around Steve’s own, his touches gentle and electric.

His hand was cupping the side of Steve’s neck, his eyes staring into Steve’s soul, even though he’d just laid it out on the table in front of them.

“You deserve to be the best you because it makes you feel good. But if I can help you find that, then I’m all yours, sunshine. As long as you want me.”

Steve leaned forward, resting his forehead against Eddie’s.

He closed his eyes.

His phone started ringing.

He planned to ignore it. He knew it was Robin and he wasn’t quite ready to face her yet.

But he knew if he didn’t answer, she’d worry. Maybe dramatically call 911 to do a wellness check.

He didn’t want to put Eddie through all that.

He grabbed his phone and answered, letting his head rest against Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah?”

“Steve. Listen. I’m sorry about earlier, okay? I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried about you. I want you to have someone who makes you happy, but I want you to be safe and-“

“Robs, I know. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Eddie’s hands were moving up and down his back slowly, adding pressure to his shoulders where he was most tense.

“Are you gonna be home soon?”

Steve resisted saying that he was home.

He realized he’d said it twice to Eddie; This felt like home. He’d never really had somewhere that felt like home. Even with Robin, he knew they were roommates because neither of them could afford rent on their own.

But here, he felt like he could safely recharge, relax, be himself, float away and find his way back. And he could do it all with Eddie.

“Yeah. I’ll head out soon.”

Robin was silent as Eddie started playing with the hem of Steve’s shirt.

“You could just stay. If you wanted. I mean I have your location and you’ll text me in the morning so I know you’re alive.”

Steve considered that this might be a test, that Robin was seeing if he’d give in easily and not explain anything else.

But Robin isn’t the type of friend to test him like that. She was never anything but honest and straightforward, never would expect him to make a choice like that to win her love. That’s just not who she was.

“I could stay tonight.”

Steve looked up at Eddie, who was smiling and nodding down at him, hands never stopping their comforting movements on his back.

“I’m gonna stay tonight.” Steve smiled into the phone as if Robin was able to see. “But tomorrow, I’m coming home after work and we’re having a long talk. We’re gonna order pizza and we’re gonna drink enough cheap wine to have the worst hangover ever on Wednesday morning. Okay?”

Robin let out a quiet chuckle. Good. Laughter is good.

“Okay, dingus. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You got it, Robs.”

When Steve hung up the phone, Eddie pulled him tight against his chest, letting Steve find his place with his nose against his collarbone.

He breathed in his scent, smiling to himself at how quickly he relaxed into it.

“Sounds like things went well.”

“Mhm. Things’ll be good.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head.

“Let me clean up the dishes and then we can go to bed.”

“No, wanna stay here.”

“Here, in this chair?” Eddie snorted. “I don’t think either of us actually want that, sunshine.”

“Don’t wanna move.”

“How about I carry you?”

“Yes, please.”

For some reason, Steve didn’t exactly expect him to actually lift him in his arms and carry him. But he did.

He had him in his arms like he was a new bride being carried over the threshold, and Steve was blushing from his head to his toes.

Steve looked up at his face, taking in the way Eddie had a near-constant smirk when he was doing things like this. Like he was having fun and liked doing it.

Eddie dropped him in bed, laughing at the ‘oof’ Steve let out from the impact of hitting the mattress and pillows.

He stared down at Steve with that soft look he gave him before. Like Steve was actually making his life brighter, like it was a beautiful thing to have and know Steve.

No one has ever looked at him like that.

“Stevie.”

“Hm?”

“I really want to kiss you.”

Steve gulped.

“I really want you to kiss me.”

Eddie didn’t question it or wait, and his wet lips were against his with a passion Steve had never experienced in his life.

He forgot about everything except the way Eddie’s lips fit perfectly against his, slowly opening his own up so he could lick into his mouth.

He ran his tongue along Steve’s bottom lip, smiling into the kiss when Steve let out a loud moan.

Eddie’s hand was in his hair, tugging on the ends just enough to keep Steve present as his other hand ghosted down his side and squeezed his hip.

Steve could stay just like this forever and it wouldn’t be long enough.

He’d never have enough of Eddie touching him, kissing him, caring for him.

He wanted it always.

He let out another moan when Eddie’s teeth bit down on his bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth and lips like he was trying to eat him.

Steve would let him.

But just when he thought he was going to stay like this all night, Eddie pulled away, nipping at his bottom lip one more time before he separated from him completely and stood up.

“Gonna go clean up. Be a good boy for me and stay right here. No touching yourself.”

Steve hadn’t really thought about doing so until he watched Eddie walk away and glanced down to see that he was hard. Incredibly so.

Suddenly, his only focus was on getting relief from how hard he was. How had he gotten there from a kiss?

It was like every touch from Eddie was equal to 1000 touches from anyone else. If Eddie touched his cock, he was done for. He’d embarrass himself beyond belief.

Maybe if Steve didn’t think about it, it would go away and it’d be fine.

Maybe he could just give himself a little touch. Eddie wouldn’t know. It’s not like he was watching.

But Eddie said not to.

Steve had to listen to Eddie.

He could distantly hear Eddie washing dishes in the kitchen, dishes clanking around while the water ran from the faucet.

He could feel the heat of the sweatpants and hoodie he was wearing, causing him to break out in a sweat.

Eddie didn’t say he couldn’t take his clothes off. He just said he couldn’t touch himself.

So Steve removed the hoodie and sweatpants in record time, unable to focus on anything except the cool sheets under him and the hard length nearly poking out of his boxers.

He hoped Eddie would touch him when he got back. He couldn’t sleep like this.

Too on edge, too close to falling the wrong way off the cliff.

He didn’t even register when Eddie entered the room again, his thoughts stuck on how good it would feel to have Eddie’s hands on him again.

Then Eddie’s hands were on him again. They were cupping his cheeks and forcing him to make eye contact with him.

Eddie was shirtless already, straddling his lap.

Steve didn’t care how he got there, just that he was.

He couldn’t help the whine he let out when Eddie’s cock brushed against his.

Oh, he wasn’t wearing pants either.

Steve hoped this was going where he wanted it to.

“You look so beautiful like this, sweet thing. Like I could eat you right up,” Eddie said before leaning in to leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

He paused right where Steve knew his freckles were and let out a small laugh against his skin.

“These are the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

Steve whined. He needed Eddie to kiss them, kiss him, kiss anywhere. He needed his lips on him every second of every day.

As if he could read his mind, Eddie gently kissed his freckles. Steve could feel his smile against his skin.

“Please kiss me,” he let out, needy whimper following his words.

“Am kissing you, sweet thing.”

And he was. Technically. But Steve needed to taste him again, needed their mouths connected so he could feel his breath in his own lungs, taking and giving oxygen Steve so desperately wanted to give and receive.

“Need you, please,” Steve added, as if that would make Eddie do anything else. “Please, please.”

Begging was not what he thought would happen tonight, but his mouth no longer had a filter as he felt Eddie’s hips roll against him.

The friction was almost too much.

Steve was going to cum. Right there in his boxers after barely making out and like, two barely there touches against his cock.

“Love hearing you beg,” Eddie said as he trailed his lips and tongue and teeth down Steve’s chest. He licked at one of his nipples, blowing cold air on it after. Steve shivered, but not from the cold.

“Feels so good,” Steve managed to get out.

He could tell he was becoming more incoherent, his moans getting louder despite Eddie hardly doing anything at all to him. He’d be embarrassed if he didn’t know how hard Eddie was above him.

Suddenly, Eddie’s lips were back on his own. He sighed into it, relief at being given what he wanted letting him relax further into the bed.

The relief only lasted for a moment, though.

Eddie was pulling away and laying down next to Steve.

No.

“No,” Steve said, turning his head to pout at him. “More.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows at him.

“That doesn’t sound very polite, Stevie. I can’t give you what you want if you don’t ask nicely,” Eddie sounded bored. Was he bored?

No, he wouldn’t have gone from interest to bored that quickly. Would he?

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. You listening?”

“Mhm.”

“Good boy. You’re gonna get on my lap and you’re gonna get yourself off. No hands.” Steve was already moving, but Eddie put his hand on his chest to hold him still. “No boxers. You use your safe word if it gets too much.”

Steve didn’t know how this could be too much, but he was too far gone to do anything but agree.

“Okay.”

Eddie removed his hand and didn’t stop Steve this time when he got up and straddled Eddie’s thighs, the reverse position they’d been in before giving Steve a head rush. He helped push Steve’s boxers off, holding him steady when his legs nearly gave out when he kicked them off.

Eddie didn’t touch him at first, letting Steve find the position that worked best for him and watching as he tried to find the perfect level of contact.

He couldn’t though.

“Oh, sweet thing, you can’t get it right can you?”

Steve whined and shook his head, feeling tears of frustration building behind his eyes.

“You want me to help you?”

“Please, yes, help,” Steve got out between pants.

Eddie’s hands were on his hips, warmth spreading from the place they touched Steve’s skin throughout his body. His grip was strong, nearly leaving fingerprint bruises in his skin. Steve wished he would.

“More.”

“More what?”

“Fingers. Harder.”

Finding the right words was hard. Steve was doing all he could to keep his eyes locked on Eddie’s face, vision going a bit blurry from the cloudiness in his head.

Eddie understood though.

His fingers gripped harder, and Steve knew he’d be done for soon regardless of the friction on his cock.

“You want help getting started, sweet thing?”

“Mhm. Mmm,” Steve was incoherent. He knew it, but he couldn’t do anything but let Eddie have full control.

Eddie used his strong grip to move Steve’s hips back and forth a few times, the feeling of Steve’s bare cock against Eddie’s clothed one nearly enough to send him over the edge right away.

He was moaning uncontrollably.

“I’m not doing it all for you,” Eddie said, letting go of Steve’s hips and watching as Steve stuttered in his movements. “C’mon. You were so desperate for it before.”

Steve didn’t think about how he was naked and Eddie wasn’t, how his dripping cock was getting Eddie’s boxers messy, how Eddie was smirking at him as he struggled to keep up the pace Eddie had started.

He only thought about how he had to get relief and make Eddie proud of him for doing what he asked.

Steve’s hips moved back and forth, rolling down every time he pushed forward so he could feel Eddie’s length against his own.

It was too much and not enough and Steve didn’t know how long he could keep this up.

Eddie was watching him, talking him through it, but not touching him.

“That’s it, sweet thing. Doing so good for me,” Eddie let out a moan when he started moving faster. “That’s it, sweetheart. Making me feel so fucking good.”

Steve wasn’t even registering his own pleasure anymore, only able to hear the way Eddie’s words were getting breathier, moans louder.

“Gonna cum for me? Want you to make me messy, sunshine. C’mon,” Eddie started tilting his hips up to meet Steve every time he rolled his hips down.

It was so much.

There was nothing but Eddie. His voice wrapped around him like a warm blanket as Steve felt the pull in his stomach letting him know he was close.

“Mm, Eddie, Eddie-“ Steve was babbling and he couldn’t stop. He didn’t care. He didn’t think Eddie did either. “Gonna. Gonna be good.”

Eddie let out a loud moan and sat up enough to kiss Steve’s lips.

Steve was done for.

He came so hard he almost couldn’t even feel it, the pleasure making his vision go black and his body go numb.

He could feel Eddie rut against him a few more times before he let out a groan.

He couldn’t open his eyes to see, but he knew Eddie must’ve finished too.

“So good, sunshine. Did so good for me, can’t believe I’m so lucky,” Eddie was whispering into his ear, soft breaths making Steve shiver against him.

Steve felt Eddie moving him so he was laying down in bed.

Then cold air shocked him into opening his eyes and letting out a pained whimper.

“Shhh, sweet thing. Just grabbing a washcloth. Gotta clean you up and take care of you, yeah? You did so good for me,” Eddie said as he pecked a kiss to his forehead.

Steve wasn’t quite floating now, but he recognized that he’d been on the cusp of it before Eddie walked away. He still wasn’t aware of most of what was going on, just that he’d never felt so good in his life and he hadn’t even had hands on him.

Whatever Eddie had done to take Steve apart was incredible.

When Eddie came back with the washcloth and gently wiped his stomach and chest, Steve tried to speak.

“Love that,” was all he was capable of, but it was a start. Eddie would get the gist of it.

“I’m glad. Loved doing that with you,” Eddie said softly as he got into bed next to Steve. He immediately pulled Steve on top of him, and Steve nearly gasped at Eddie being naked under him. “Feeling okay?”

Steve nodded against his chest.

He’d never felt better.

As he drifted to sleep to Eddie’s soft whispers, Steve thought about how he could possibly love someone so much so quickly.

Chapter 7

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[animeyanderelover]

Another request in case you will close the request in a few hour ! Can I ask for midoriya , hawks , aizawa , shigaraki and shoto ( separate ) with a quirkless darling that is smart ( like really smart , both EQ and IQ ) and she want to make the world a safe place again ( like for everyone , both heroes and villain ? ) by erase all quirk in the world by using all for one ?

I feel like it's been a good while since I've last written for Mha.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, clinginess, manipulation, isolation, abduction

The world will be a better place

Izuku Midoriya

💚Being quirkless in today’s society is almost an invitation for being made an outcast, Izuku has experienced that for himself. If it wouldn’t have been for All Might choosing him as his successor, he’d still be the quirkless boy from back then. Perhaps it’s his bad experience that makes Midoriya that much more protective over his s/o when he finds out that she’s also quirkless. Even if it may not bother you that much as you’ve accepted this a long time ago, Izuku is still very worried. He seems to be constantly afraid that you’ll be bullied in your everyday life and discriminated. You’re put on a high pedal as your boyfriend/admirer is a worshipper constantly praises you as if assuming that your lack of a quirk would make you feel insecure. You know that he means nothing bad by doing so, it’s today’s society that has brainwashed him into believing you’d feel neglected and different for possessing no quirk. That’s why you have to fix this problem with the quirks.

💚Your exceptional intelligence has always been praised by him. Your smartness makes you special and Izuku never considers your high intelligence as something scary. You’ve never considered telling him about your plans, he’s too big of a fan of heroes to ever let that happen. Instead he finds out via going through your stuff as the obsessive person he is, his hands starting to shake when he reads your notes. He confronts you as soon as he sees you and you stay frighteningly calm whilst witnessing how he slowly loses his composure as you explain to him why you plan to do so, dismissing his arguments as he’s irrational due to being a fanboy, a supporter. A few of your arguments, he understands but Midoriya still has hope for being able to make the situation better, foolish and naïve optimism in your eyes. He gets really upset during the argument as you essentially try to overthrow his entire belief. As much as he loves you, he can’t let you proceed with your plans and even as he restricts you, he claims it to be in your best interest.

Shoto Todoroki

🔥❄️Shoto is very paranoid and overprotective with you. It’s just very rare nowadays to meet someone who doesn’t have a quirk to the point where it’s seen as abnormal and. The curious stares you get when you tell others that you possess no quirk agitate him, the hushed whispers behind your back pitying you nearly make him go mad. It’s so bad for Shoto that at one point he doesn’t want to take you outside anymore and if only if he’s with you so that no one may try to take advantage of your helplessness. Whilst you are very nonchalant about it, Shoto overthinks it and worries enough for the both of you. He just hates how people throw glances your way, neglect and underestimate you or treat you like a rare species all because you have no quirk. He’s protecting you because he loves you on the other hand. That’s what he believes at least until you point casually out that he’s dismissing you as a damsel in distress due to your lack of a quirk too. He argues instantly with you because this isn’t true at all.

🔥❄️But you dismiss his panic, tell him that it isn’t his fault because society has just brainwashed everyone into believing that quirks are a good thing. It’s the first time you’ve spoken up about your own view of things and it disturbs Shoto when you admit that you think quirks should just disappear since it only brings suffering. Obviously he is, poor boy doesn’t know any better after all. He does his best to argue back and counter your arguments but when you mention how his own father abused marriage to create a stronger quirk, he falls silent. You’ve hit the sensitive spot and you’ve done so on purpose. You’re so cruel. Have you always been that way? He’s confused, angry and sad, feels betrayed that you purposely mentioned his own past just to make him shut up. You notice though, warm hands cupping his face as you reassure him that you didn’t mean to hurt him but find it unfair that innocent people like him had to suffer for the greed of stronger quirks. After that day he locks you away in your room, shocked of your belief and unsure how to feel about you but still painfully aware that he needs you.

Aizawa Shouta

💤Aizawa has always known about your critical view on quirks, on heroes and villains and today’s society and both of you have engaged in a couple of heated discussions about it. You don’t possess any quirk of your own yet your genius-like intelligence has scored you a good-earning job and that’s something your boyfriend is proud of. You don’t need any special power to be happy and you pride yourself on that just as much, you’ve never felt insecure or seen yourself as something less. You’ve also made it very clear that you refuse to be coddled over or to be treated like a helpless lamb just because you have no powers so you always point it sharply out to Aizawa the moment he starts acting too protective, unconsciously worrying as he does see you as more defenseless. As much as Aizawa admires your intelligence though, he knows that the sheer level of observation skills and knowledge how to manipulate someone is frightening at times as your words keep him sometimes up at night.

💤The situation escalates between you two when the League of Villains gain more and more prominence and fully breaks when the Paranormal Liberation Front launches it’s attack, devastating Japan and leaving the citizens shattered. Aizawa himself gets injured during the attack and as soon as he’s able to leave the hospital, you inform him of your plan. You’ve had enough, quirks are the worst that ever happened to humanity. Now, your boyfriend has always known about your judgement of quirks but when he hears that you plan to use All For One for your plans, he’s shaken to his bones. That man is more monster than human, you can’t possibly expect to use him for your own purposes. Not to mention that erasing all quirks forever is lunatic. Both of you get into a heated argument where you cruelly throw facts after facts at him, mention how citizens have turned against heroes due to the toxic expectations. At one point Aizawa has to restrict you physically by using his scarf, your disappointed but pitiful look you give him sure to haunt him for a while.

Keigo Takami

🪶This would be a rather difficult relationship because Keigo actively tries to have you take a seat and let him do all the stuff precisely because you have no quirk of your own. Obviously he adores his sweet songbird but he also can't deny that he'd just love it to have you be safe in his house all the time and let him provide for you. His way of thinking collides harshly with yours as you refuse to be treated this way only because he thinks you'd stand no chance against a villain or anyone who would search conflict with you, especially since you are his lover. Both of you butt heads with each other often due to your different ways of thinking and Keigo can't deny that he likes how spunky and fierce you are, he thinks it's cute. At the same time he is genuinely convinced that he's right though, something that you very much hate about him. Still, you tell yourself that he's ultimately just another victim, especially considering how he even became a hero in the first place.

🪶​You warn him about All For One and the League of Villains yet he as well as the government believe that everything can still be brought under control which makes you lash out when the Paranormal Liberation Front brings havoc across cities and the reputation of the heroes takes a huge tumble. That's when you propose your idea to Hawks, something you've been thinking about for a while now. You don't expect anything else than his immediate rejection of your idea as he believes that quirks will be the thing that will save them even if it is the complete opposite. How do you even plan to use All For One for your purposes? Do you know what the government would do if they were to find out? He won't listen to you, he won't take you seriously. As always. So you're through with him, willing to leave to do what you have to do. Only that Keigo stops you in your plans, forcefully restricting you, locking you away. He's a bit sorry but he also does what he deems to be the right thing.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋Your relationship with Shigaraki comes to your own advantages, even if kidnapping wasn't plan of it. You manage to shape everything to your own liking as Shigaraki is initially easily manipulated, clingy and bratty around you and greedy for any affection you can give him. Obviously he thinks that he has to protect you considering your own lack of a quirk and you hate that attitude but you deal with it in favor of gaining more information on All For One and his quirk. To your luck the notorious man notices you too because even if you don't have any quirk, your intelligence is outstanding. You were the one who made special gloves so that Shigaraki could touch you without you disintegrating and your own view on society amuses the old man. You're still careful around him as he seems to sense that you have something planned involving him. When the heroes manage to catch and imprison him, you have a small problem, especially since a distraught Shigaraki glues himself to your side more than ever after.

✋Shigaraki himself becomes a problem when he regains his memories and suddenly acts much more mature which means your coddling attempts to manipulate him don't work anymore without him noticing. Instead he addresses you about it with a sudden awareness he didn't have before. You have no choice but to admit to him what you've been planning for a longer while now, stepping cautiously back as if anticipating him to lash out like he has done often before. Yet nothing happens and he only looks at you, although you sense from his body language that he's angry and hurt. When he asks you if you've only used him so far, his hands fidgeting, you decide to be honest with him. Yes, you have been partially using him but you've started fancying him as of recently too, your plans would grant him a normal life too. You're locked away still, you've broken his trust after all. You're not afraid though, well aware that Tomura loves you too much to get rid of you.

[kyndredravenstories]

Eyes of Infinity: Delirium Chapter 12

Hello, I have been posting my work on AO3 and recently decided to venture here to Tumblr. Please note: This story is 18+. No minors. Please read tags carefully. Link to AO3 below but I will also be posting the chapters here.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53564641/chapters/149739049

Pairing: Sylus/Female MC with some elements of Xavier/Female MC

Genre: Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Adventure, Smut, Porn with Big Plot and Big Feelings

Content Warning (For the entire fic): Explicit sexual content, spoilers and alterations to existing lore and cards/memories/tender moments/secret times, size kink, size difference, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, anal sex, fingering, all kinds of fingering, elements of consensual somno, dom!Sylus, jealousy, possessive!Sylus, Mephisto stalking, Dark!Xavier, Intense!Rafayel, Foreseer!Zayne, typical game violence, battle and combat, PTSD

Summary: To love him meant stepping over the threshold and crossing into darkness. To be with him meant accepting the lure of the shadows. And to protect him from betrayal meant sacrifice. I knew not how, only that I would not let time sever our paths ever again.

Previous Chapters: Ch 1 / Ch 2 / Ch 3 / Ch 4 / Ch 5 / Ch 6 / Ch 7 / Ch 8 / Ch 9 / Ch 10 / Ch 11

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Though he holds the woman he loves in his embrace, Sylus is far from relaxed.

He keeps her close, sharing his strength with her, staying still as she leans on him and closes her eyes. He gives her the shelter and support she needs in the moment, but as he does so he takes his phone out of his pocket and makes a few calls.

Directions to Luke and Kieran, first and foremost. His bloodhounds must stay on the trail while it's fresh. Sniff out the rat and bring him to N109 alive. At this point, a quick death is not a mercy Sylus is willing to grant. In conversation, he restrains his anger as much as he can. It's tricky to speak softly and avoid saying exactly what he means. He takes care, highly aware that Ellara is likely listening to every word.

The second call is for his car. As it pulls up at a nearby curb, Ellara tugs shyly on his hand. An argument is coming. He recognizes the adorable pout to her lips, finding himself staring at her supple mouth much longer than he intends.

"Could we walk home?" she pleads.

"It's cold," he frowns.

"Don't you like the cold?" she pokes his chest.

"I'm not the problem. You'll catch a chill."

"I won't. Please?"

Sylus gives a weary sigh. He's really not in the mood to walk all the way to her apartment, but when she wraps her arms around his waist and looks up at him with her big doe eyes, he finds himself caving rather readily to her silly whim. Seeing her through Mephisto's eyes and stolen photographs is vastly different from having her close where he can smell her, feel her presence, and sense her warmth. When such things tease at his senses, he can hardly control himself around her. Affection and tenderness fills him. Relaxing his shoulders in defeat, he tousles her messy dark hair.

"Fine. You're spoiled rotten, that's for sure."

"Walking helps me think," she defends. There must be a lot on her mind now after all that's happened and all that's been unveiled this night. She doesn't like him teasing her, but her playful anger is better than weeping or mourning a dead man. She still seems dazed after the explosion, and he doesn't press her for any updates or answers. Even if this calm is temporary, he isn't willing to break it. Besides, there are worse ways to spend time than to walk with her holding his arm and sharing an umbrella.

Sylus leaves her to grab a spare winter jacket from the vehicle, dismissing his driver with a wave of his hand. Draping the black and grey garment around her shoulders, he smiles as he notes how large it is on her petite frame. She puts her arms into the sleeves, but they're much too long. The broad shoulders sag on her, too. Despite all this, she is breathtakingly beautiful in the unfamiliar moonlight. The silver glow accentuates her onyx hair and makes her skin gleam. For a moment, he ponders his fascination with her.

This small, unknowable, strange creature of his.

His to touch.

His to love.

His to protect.

It's a curse in any other name. Yet, it is one he bears gladly.

As they cruise at a lazy pace across streets and roads moist from the snow and rain, he finds himself enjoying the quiet moments with her. She tells him about her training and how hard its been to live without her Evol. She's so relieved when he tells her that what she drank earlier was an antidote. She's looking forward to the moment when her power comes back so she can seize her life again. Run missions. Use her favorite weapons. Feel like a productive member of society.

Sylus listens to her ramble, stroking the back of her hand with the pad of his thumb. Her excitement is soothing, yet bittersweet. If only she knew that the current state of her power is so far diminished from what it could be. Would she be saddened? Angry? He doesn't have the heart to tell her that she'd been used as a sacrifice -- again and again -- and that there are still those out there who would continue to do so. Fate hasn't been a kind mistress, not to either of them.

She's safe now in this time and in this iteration. Safe with him. But, he's not ready to make that claim out loud. Not yet.

There are tasks still left undone.

Despite the pleasure of her company, his temper remains unsettled.

Noxis isn't dead. That much is certain.

This night, Sylus came to the Destiny Café to claim a life, but he'd been thwarted. He's not sure what makes him angrier: the fact that Malakai escaped or the fact that he believed an explosion of such low caliber could harm the leader of Onychinus. Either way, he was being underestimated, and that simply wouldn't do. If word got out that this was the second time Sylus had failed to break this upstart's neck, his reputation would be jeopardized. In the short term, that meant more challengers and nuisances to fight. But, in the long term, it meant more danger to Ellara and more interference in their lives together. 

These last few weeks had been a game of attrition, a strategy to lure out Malakai into the open so that Sylus could kill him and end this circus with Noxis once and for all. Malakai had his eyes on Ellara, and Sylus used that to his advantage. He'd backed away from his contact with her, retreating into the shadows and banking on Malakai's impatience. Sure enough, when Noxis grew tired of waiting for Sylus to make a move, he positioned Ellara in harm's way in the hopes of forcing his hand.

What a pathetic fool.

She'd never really been in any danger. Kieran and Luke had been her silent and invisible guardians all of these weeks, filling in the blanks where Mephisto's communications left information out of regular reports. When she told the crow she was going to meet Noxis in person, Sylus was already prepared to intercept them. The goals for the rendezvous had been simple enough. Kill Noxis and take the antidote to LUMINIS off his corpse. So, how had so many lines become blurred in such a short amount of time?

Ellara was a wild card, that's how.

Sylus was prepared for Noxis to reveal his identity as her adopted brother, but he hadn't expected for her to defend him. Nor had he expected for the encounter to affect her so strongly. The revelation of her brother's betrayal must have been too much for her mind to process.

Initially, he isn't certain, but as the evening unwinds, Sylus begins to understand what's happened with more clarity. Based on her behavior on the walk home and all the questions she asks, she'd suppressed the events of this night, shutting the truth behind a series of mental barriers. Unexpected, but no matter. If that's what she needs to do to cope for now, then he would play along. In fact, it might be easier if she still believes her brother to be dead. He soon truly would be, after all.

One thing was absolutely certain. 

There will not be a third failure.

"Well, we're here," Ellara says, breaking Sylus's train of thought. He glances at the six story building next to them. A shabby thing. Old and derelict with peeling paint and water stains. Despite its owners' attempt to market it as a luxury apartment complex, he wouldn't even label it a motel. Yet, he's curious. Luke and Kieran sent him photos of the inside, but he wants to see it for himself. The place where she lives, sleeps, and spends the free hours of her day; where she unwinds and feels the freedom to be herself.

Sylus looks at his Hunter, so small and delicate. She's thinner than he remembers, and still so pale. Had this last month taken such a toll on her? If he was honest, it hadn't been easy for him either. When her partner had taken her from him, it felt as though half his heart had vanished with her. Sylus had buried his yearning and his need for her in his hunt for Noxis and search for an antidote. But, now that he was faced with the object of his desire directly, he could hardly resist her magnetic pull.

"Then, is this where we say good night?" Sylus asks, ready to pull back if she wills it. He hopes she doesn't; wonders if he actually would be able to listen if she tries to push him away.

"Do you want to...come up?" she asks, as though reading his thoughts. Relief. Excitement. He smirks in amusement, tucking a strand or two of flyaways back behind her ear. He makes sure to graze his fingertip against her skin in passing, gauging the level of her interest, reading every one of her minute expressions. To his delight, she shivers at his touch and covers his hand with hers.

"Is that what you want, kitten?" he smiles, wondering if he should take the high road. She's just been through something of an ordeal. She's likely exhausted. He should leave her be. Let her rest. Recover in mind and body. But, where's the fun in that? Especially when she's looking at him with such raw yearning, barely contained by the silly notion of what she calls "propriety".

If anyone asked him for his not so humble opinion, she was far from proper. Nothing about her was. Her eyes were pools of verdant ocean, light in places and dark in others. It was that darkness that now called to him and tempted, like a vast unknown crying out to be discovered. She was molded like a tempting little morsel, too. Firm and shapely with a slim waist and flaring hips, soft thighs he was dying to bite into, and perky breasts just begging for his affection. A bite-sized feminine package that he wanted to --

"I'd like that. For you to come up that is..." Her eyes skitter away from his. She deigns to blush. The little minx. Never honest and always so prideful. As if she could hide her thirst from him; as if he would ever leave her unsated.

"And what are you expecting me to do once you have me there?" He licks his lips, running his fingers through her hair then moving his hand down to the small of her back. Her breath hitches. The air between them grows charged and heavy.

"Well..." she still doesn't meet his eyes. "Your clothes are torn. And dirty."

"Mhmm..." He leans in, wrapping his arm tighter around her so their chests are flush. "And...do you have some spare shirts up there for me?" Her breasts rise and fall against him, her nipples already hard and pebbled. "Do you have so many men stop by that you keep such things on hand?"

"W-What?" she blinks up at him, and he finds comfort in the confused expression on her lovely face. Still, a flare of jealousy bites at him. Like a taser to the gut. He knows his words ring hollow, but just the thought is enough to sting. Sylus allows her blue-eyed partner a spot in her vicinity. For now. Out of necessity. Even then, the nuisance shows far too much interest in what is his.

Her phone rings out with an irritating and unfamiliar melody, breaking the moment. Sylus doesn't appreciate her rush to answer it.

"Xavier," she says, her brow furrowing.

Well. Well. Speak of the devil.

"I'm sorry. I know my message earlier was out of the blue. Everything is OK now."

A voice speaks on the other end, muffled by her ear.

"No, honestly I can't tell you what happened. Everything is a blur at the moment. I think I'm just in shock. There was a fire, and I think Malakai was involved. I'm safe, though."

More useless words and questions on the other end.

Impatient, Sylus reaches for her, but she pushes gently at his hand. He raises a brow. She doesn't meet his gaze. Irritation flares like a sparking firecracker in his chest. Really, now? What is this subtle body language? Does she have the audacity to ignore him? To command him to wait?

Ridiculous.

His Evol wraps around her wrist and hand, keeping both still as he pushes her up against the wall of the building behind a decorative set of trees. His jacket slips off of her onto the ground. She doesn't have time to be shocked before his lips press against hers. His tongue pushes into her mouth, breaking through a resistance so feeble its almost laughable. Slipping and dipping. Hands aggressively lifting her shirt and sliding beneath; caressing soft skin. In moments, she's writhing against him, gasping when he presses her other hand against the bulge in his pants.

"Ellara? Are you there?" the voice asks over the phone.

Sylus moves her thumb to push the "speaker" button. He lets her break the kiss, far too amused by the rising flush in her cheeks and the angry glint in her eye. She looks like she might hit him; he kind of wishes she would try. It would thrill him to watch her struggle, to tame his little vixen into writhing, wanton, and panting submission. Let her scratch at him with her little claws, too. Oh how he loves when she does that.

"I-I'm here," she says breathlessly. "Sorry, trying to find my keys so I can get inside."

"So you're at home now? You're safe?"

"Y-Yes. Everything is --mnn---" She bites her lip as Sylus's hand slips under her bra and cups her breast, rubbing against a hardened nipple with his finger. "---Everything is fine."

"You sound weird. Are you sure you're OK?"

She glares at Sylus again, but his smile only widens.

"Xavier, I promise I'm OK." She hesitates. A few emotions cross her face at blinding speed. She bites her lip and grimaces. "The truth is...I'm...not alone."

The voice over the phone goes silent.

Check mate.

Sylus can't help how his eyes grow wide in surprise at her admission. Truly, she is entirely unpredictable. Yet, so naïve. He's certain that she's completely oblivious to how the man on the phone feels about her, but despite that ignorance, his first guess would have been that she would shy away from revealing their connection. Yet, here she is. Being honest. And not in a subtle way either.

Despite this bold admission, the fire in her body doesn't abate. She's trembling against him, her pupils blown wide with lust and her lips swollen from his kisses. Should he make her moan louder? Until she can't talk at all anymore? She turns to him. Sees his intent. And the fear that widens her lovely eyes is just so delicious. That exquisite cocktail of anxiety, anticipation, embarrassment, and want makes his body grow hard and tight.

"Um...I'll call you first thing in the morning, OK? A lot's happened tonight, and I need to make sense of it all."

"As long as you're safe..." the voice says in a controlled monotone, the underlying anger there somehow satisfying.

Sylus pulls back his Evol and lets her end the call. As soon as its over, he grabs her by the hips and turns her towards the wall. As her soft ass presses against him, he can't help but make a sound of arousal. He ignores her when she whispers his name, rubbing against her, driving himself crazy at the thought of rucking up her skirt, ripping off her panties, and --

"No...Sylus...someone will see..."

He presses his nose against her ear, taking a deep breath of her scent, letting her soft hair tickle his jaw and send shivers down his core.

"Is that your only complaint?" he growls. "If so, then..." he grinds against her.

"Please..someone will see us..." she breathes, arching her back. 

"You're not doing yourself any favors by begging me like that, sweetie," he warns. "One more word and I'll have you right here..." he drops to a whisper, relishing her helpless whimper as he sucks on her earlobe. "Unless that's what you wanted me to do from the beginning."

Ellara bites her lip. Through the haze in his thoughts, he feels how cold her skin is, and some rationale returns. Wasn't he the one who was concerned about her moving through the winter chill?

"Please," she whispers. "Let's go inside."

He sighs. Gathering her against him, he Jumps to the third floor then through the wall until they're standing in her dark entryway. Her apartment smells as sweet as he imagined. Strawberries, perhaps. Or cherry blossoms. It's a subtle scent; not purposeful. Something gathered over time rather than forced with candles or oils. It's soothing, though at the moment there isn't much that can be done to quench the fire in his blood.

She wanders off to put on her slippers. Or tries to. Sylus doesn't wait until she's taken off her shoes; he can't. The phone call set off something feral in him. Territorial. As soon as possible, he wants to ensure that he is the only one occupying her thoughts and worries. Ignoring her weak and shy protests, he roughly pulls her up against him and into his arms.

Shower first. To get the smell of that fire off of her. Get her warm and comfortable. Help her relax in the steam with his hands and fingers. Check her skin for burns and injuries with his mouth and tongue. A noble pursuit, one should think. Look at him taking the high road after all.

I missed you.

I've needed you.

I've longed for you.

In all the ways he can, he tells her this without words. Through mind-numbing frantic kisses. Through bold caresses and touches. He tries to be mindful of his strength, but she tests his self-control. He bites. His fingers hold too tight. He's so hard it hurts, but he refuses to take her. Not yet. First, he wants to hear her scream his name. Moan and whimper and beg him to come.

He shoves her back up against the shower wall and kneels down, holding her hands and wrists in place with his Evol so his own are free to wreak havoc on her senses.

"Spread your legs," Sylus tells her, pressing his lips against the flat of her belly. He rubs his jaw against her skin. Up and down. Letting her feel him and gasp in anticipation. His lips ghost downwards, hands running over her thighs and to her calves. Down then up again until she's squirming. "More," he croons, pressing a kiss to the apex of her thighs. She throws her head back and shudders. Even under the hot water, goosebumps run across her skin.

In the end, she proves too shy. Or maybe the sensations are simply too intense.

He grabs the back of her knee, nudging her leg up.

"Wait...Sylus..."

"You know I won't," he chuckles, placing her knee against his muscular shoulder and spreading her wide open to his burning gaze and eager touch. When she fights, he steadies her with more of his Evol, unwilling to entertain her shyness in this moment. With his hands, he smoothes her legs apart, easing her open even more, baring the glistening petals of her sex to his blazing red eyes.

"Are you ready for this, sweetie?" he rasps, nearly delirious with his need to taste her. He doesn't wait for a coherent reply. Slowly -- torturously so -- he nudges her clit with his nose, blowing a faint stream of air over the hypersensitive flesh. She jerks against his restraints. Above his head, she gives a broken sigh. He looks up, staring into her wide lust-filled eyes, the color darker than he's ever seen it.

Unable to wait any longer, he laps at her, his tongue moving in darting, twisting circles against her folds. His eyes close at the euphoric taste of her. She shudders, her head shaking back and forth as her hips dance against his mouth. He moans against her core, intentional with the vibrations of his rumbling voice. She cries out wordlessly, her voice raw,  straining so much against his Evol that her whole body shakes. Her knee quivers on his shoulder, toes curling.

Squeezing the thigh resting on him, he brings his free hand up to her opening and eases a finger inside to his knuckle. She rewards him with a squeal, and he starts moving it in and out of her. He pulls against her shivering walls then pushes back inside. Again and again as she wails and thrashes in ecstasy. Honeyed juices rush out against his lips and tongue, and he adds another finger.

"Yes!" she whimpers desperately. "Yes...yes, please!"

He hums against her, her excitement driving his own. Still pumping his fingers in and out of her, he pulls her clit into his mouth and starts sucking. Her insides quiver and tighten around his fingers, flesh swelling under his ministrations.

"Don't stop," she begs, tears running down her cheeks. "Don't stop, please!"

He groans as she shudders wildly against him, her orgasm catching them both off guard. It's sharp and intense, and she's clearly overstimulated. He eases her down, maintaining steady soft motions against her with his tongue. Gradually, she softens against him. Sated, silky. He backs away from her sensitive bud, pressing a soft kiss to her folds and then her thigh. With a stray thought, he releases his Evol from around her body.

Small, delicate hands weave into his hair. Nails graze at his scalp. He hooks his hand around the back of her knee. This time, as he stands, he lifts her leg up and presses himself between her folds. She's still coming down, still dazed, and its in this half delirium that he finally surges into her. She's so tight that he nearly comes on the spot, but he reigns himself in. Not now. Not yet. It's been too long and he needs to be joined with her, to rail her until there's no room for anyone in her thoughts but him.

Both of them groan loudly when Sylus finally settles himself all the way inside, so deep that the head of his cock pushes right up against the opening of her cervix. Despite his vicious and desperate train of thought, he's careful with her. Gentle. Slow. Lost in his love for her. Bewildered, as he thrills at hearing her chant his name in soft cadence to each thrust. Like she's claiming him. Like he's hers just as she is his. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he lets out a ragged breath of pleasure as she brushes her lips across his jaw and ear. Surrendering. Accepting him. Urging him to go faster without saying a word.

She explodes right as he does. He groans as his orgasm washes over him. He spills his passion inside her, spearing into her tight passage over and over as the madness holds him in a vice. His body tightens, muscles quivering as instinct has him thrust once more as deep as he can possibly go. Her nails rake down the back of his neck, and he sees white at the euphoric pain. 

Piece by piece, the haze falls away. He grows aware of her silence and slow breathing. Concerned, Sylus brings an unsteady hand to the back of her head, stroking through her wet hair.

"Sweetie," he calls. "Are you alright?"

She makes a little sound of agreement, but doesn't move. Carefully, he lowers her leg to the ground. When she's steady, she hugs him tight. He turns off the water and snags a nearby fluffy pink towel, wrapping it around her. 

Their bodies are slick and wet. As she moves against him, the friction of her silky skin slipping against his abs sets his heart racing for a moment. It's an unfamiliar and dizzying sensation, and she is the only one who can trigger the phenomenon. He feels himself swelling against her belly, already hungry again. 

She inhales sharply when she realizes, her fingers exploring him. He grips the hair at the back of her head, suddenly fantasizing about how her mouth would feel wrapped around him. Perhaps soon, he can find out. 

"Sylus..." Her brilliant green eyes meet his. She's blushing, still shy despite everything thats happened between them. Just as earlier that day, he's helpless to refuse what she's about to ask. "Please, will you stay tonight?"

Strange. Unknowable. Wonderful. Terrible little creature.

His weakness.

If she wanted, she could completely and utterly destroy him.

She'd done it before, after all. Many a time.

"What is it? Have I not satisfied you enough?" he teases, tracing the lines of her back.

"It's not that," she burrows her flushed face against his shoulder. "I just...I've missed you..."

"Hmm...such honeyed words for me."

"I mean it," she hugs him tighter. 

He makes a sound, half sigh half chuckle. It's his turn to surrender. 

"Alright. I'll stay." He presses a kiss against her forehead. "But, I doubt you'll be getting any sleep." 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Apologies if this comes across as a bit of a rant, don't mean it to be, but I have seen some really bad takes over the last few days. That being said these are my own opinions, no obligation to agree or disagree with them, I am just sharing my own opinions. Also some of these opinions may or may not be unpopular depending on what side you are on, I am fully team black so these views are in support of that.

Daemon is not a morally black character, he's a morally grey character, or at least he is supposed to be, he is literally described as being equal parts light and dark. So I'm getting tired of all these posts talking about how its ok for Daemon fans to like him but they should accept that he is a villain/morally black character. No he isn't either of those things and so when we complain that the show cut all his good moments and we are frustrated that they seem to have kept only his darker moments, its not because we don't thing he shouldn't do bad things, its because by not keeping him balanced and keeping those lighter moments as well they've mischaracterised him. The fact that people can sit there and make these posts saying he's morally black is just proof of how much they mischaracterised him in the show. I haven't even read the book but even I saw that quote going around about him being equal parts light and dark before the show came out, the promotion of his character often talked about this characterisation of him and it was what made me excited to see his character when I knew nothing else about him. So yeah its annoying and frustrating when the show didn't fully deliver on this.

Rhaenyra's eldest sons did not usurp Driftmark from Baela and Rhaena because Baela and Rhaena never stood to inherit it. Laena was never heir to Driftmark, Laenor was. So this argument that I keep seeing being pushed that Rhaenyra is trying to steal Driftmark from the girls is pointless and not true at all. The petition Rhaenyra puts to the crown is against Vaemond inheriting Driftmark over her sons, the girls had nothing to do with it, they themselves never even put themselves forward as claimants. The closest either of the girls came to inheriting Driftmark was when Rhaenys, in private, asked Corlys to name Baela heir. Corlys immediately shut it down and stuck to his decision to have Lucerys as his heir. So no Driftmark was never stolen from Baela or Rhaena because they were never at any point named heirs to it, you can't steal something from someone when it was never theirs to start with.

As for the marriage proposal Rhaenyra suggests between her sons and Laena's daughters, again this was not Rhaenyra trying to stop Baela and Rhaena from getting Driftmark (because they never stood to inherit driftmark) as I have seen some argue. The reason for the proposal was to smooth things over with Rhaenys and win back her support because Rhaenys believed Rhaenyra had Laenor killed so she could marry Daemon. It was also a very very good deal. Within a generation the Velaryons would have their blood on both the iron and the driftmark throne.

Rhaenyra was in an impossible situation and that is why she has 'bastards'. Yes I am putting it in quote marks because I don't consider them bastards as Viserys publically announced them as trueborn heirs and in doing so made them legitimate, I've made a whole post on it already so I won't cover that argument here but anyway. Her and Laenor tried but didn't succeed at having a child that was biologically their own. So Rhaenyra used Harwin to produce her heirs. But both Rhaenyra and Laenor considered those boys as their own, its not like Rhaenyra was trying to pull the wool over Laenor's eyes, he was in on it and he agreed to it, as did Harwin. Rhaenyra was under a huge amount of pressure to produce heirs, it was consider her duty, what else was she supposed to do? It was her blood that was important not Laenor's in this case, so as long as by blood they were hers that was the most important thing. I saw some say that she just should have not married Laenor, which honestly wtf, because she didn't have a choice. She had to marry Laenor because her father, the king, commanded her to. They both agreed to do their duty then see other people, so I am confused by the claims made that Rhaenyra only cared about her own pleasure and not her duty, like please she took her duty as heir and to the prophecy her father told her about very seriously. If the, she shouldn't have married Laenor, argument wasn't bad enough I then saw some saying well she just shouldn't have had children and should've named Alicent's children her heirs and everyone would have won. Umm, yeah, no, its not that simple. Like Rhaenyra had a duty to produce heirs, like it was made very clear in the show right from the first episode that a good King/Queen provides the realm with heirs, that's the society in which they live. The whole brother as an heir thing is a back up but Rhaenyra would still be expected by the houses and the people to produce as many heirs as possible. If Rhaenyra had chosen not to have any children the realm would only consider that proof that she wasn't fit to rule, it just would have given her a whole other set of political problems to deal with. I mean its the whole reason why Viserys was pressured into taking a second wife, he had heirs, Rhaenyra and Daemon, but this wasn't considered enough he was still under pressure to produce more. For the realm heirs meant security, for the royal house it meant ensuring the throne stayed in their family, continued with their own line. They live in a time when people died really easily of infection and disease, they didn't have modern medicine like we do, babies and children were particularly vulnerable, as was shown by Aemma talking about how many children they had lost. Which is why Aemma and Viserys tried time and again to have more children, why Alicent and Viserys had several children, why Rhaenyra has multiple children, because it is expected of them, because its considered their duty, the more heirs the better. So no Rhaenyra couldn't just shrug and go, oh well guess I won't have any children, my brothers can just inherit after me. I mean you have to think about the way these people think, that possibility would never have even entered Rhaenyra's head, or anyone else's for that matter. All Rhaenyra knows, due to the society she grew up in, is that as heir herself she has to produce heirs of her own, not rely on her father's other children to continue the line. When she realised she couldn't have children with Laenor she came up with another solution, with Laenor in the know and agreeing with it. Yet there are some out there that seem to think this makes Rhaenyra a villain or that she had bastards just because she is privileged and she does whatever she wants and thinks the rules don't apply to her. She wasn't any of these things, she was just desperate and lets be real just as trapped by duty as Alicent, just in a different way.

Rhaenyra's situation with her three sons is in no way comparable to Cersei's and her children. First of Rhaenyra is of the ruling house, it's her blood that is royal and her blood that matters, her boys all still have royal blood. In Cersei's case it was Robert with the royal blood not Cersei so the fact that her children only have her blood is what makes her children's heritage a problem more than them being illegitimate. Rhaenyra did not lie to Laenor or try to deceive him into thinking they were his by blood. So when he calls his sons his heirs he does so knowing that biologically they are not his. If he had lived to take the driftmark throne and he named Luke his heir he would have done so knowing that they didn't share blood. Robert had no clue that Joffrey wasn't his kid, Cersei did go out of her way to deceive him into thinking they were his, including getting him drunk and that getting into bed with him so he would think they had laid together and so he wouldn't question the birth of her children. So when Robert named Joffrey his heir he did so without any knowledge that it wasn't his son. Sorry but these two situations are completely different so you can't use one to justify another.

So the next thing I need to talk about is this, people don't seem to understand how bad it is that Alicent was trying to out Rhaenyra's sons, or why it was that she was pretty much the only person to do so. If Alicent got her way and Rhaenyra's children were acknowledged as bastards publicly then not just Rhaenyra and Harwin, but those three innocent boys could all be killed. That's the potential consequence of Alicent's actions, of her oh so righteous mission to reveal the truth. She is told on numerous occasions how dire the consequences of her insinuations are and yet she continues with them anyway, against the king's orders. On top of that she also makes public insinuations about Laenor's sexuality which again could get him killed. So Alicent is out here risking the lives of Rhaenyra's entire family and yet I'm supposed to support her and feel sympathy for her? No sorry, if everyone else also knows and keeps their mouths shut then so too can Alicent. I mean take Corlys and Rhaenys for example they too know that biologically those boys aren't their son's and they talk about it, but they do it in private. Even when Rhaenys suggests having Baela as heir she says they'll tell people they are honouring Laena's memory as an explanation to why Luke wouldn't be heir, she doesn't suggest hey lets tell everyone Rhaenyra's kids are illegitimate and so we're naming Baela heir, because she knows the consequence of that and whatever resentment she has towards Rhaenyra she won't risk those boys lives because of it. Apparently Alicent has no such qualms when it comes to those boys safety. People act like Alicent trying to out Rhaenyra and her children is some righteous mission but lets be real she's doing it because it serves her own interests. If Rhaenyra and her sons are exiled or killed then its her children who become the next heirs, its got nothing to do with right and wrong or holding Rhaenyra responsible for actions or whatever. Also this is kind of a side note but the thing I also find frustrating about Alicent's little crusade is that she can't know for sure. Like yes I know we as the audience know and everyone suspects it but nobody in that world can know for sure. It's like that story Viserys tells when Alicent brings it up to him, about the black mare, the silver stallion and the chestnut foal. Alicent tries to prove Viserys' point that genetics are weird, by asking if he was there during the act and if not how can he be sure. Here's the thing, the same can be applied to Alicent, unless she was there in the room when Rhaenyra's children were conceived then how can she know for sure that they aren't Laenor's, I mean the guy does have Baratheon blood on his mother's side which could explain the boys features.

The King's word is law and the King can't do whatever the hell he likes are both true statements. I am constantly seeing this argument made that well Viserys is the king so he can do this and he can choose to do that and its all bull, sorry but I think the show makes it clear that whilst yes Viserys as King has alot of power and his word is law, but that doesn't mean he can do what he likes without any consequence. You know which kings do whatever they like, the bad ones. Joffrey, The Mad King, Maegor the Cruel, (spoiler warning for got and fire and blood) and Joffrey was killed by a member of one of his houses, Lady Olenna at his wedding to her granddaughter, The Mad King was killed by his own King's Guard and Maegor was found with his slits wrist on his own throne with no one knowing who exactly might have killed him because he pissed off that many people. So this idea that just because he is King he can do whatever he wants is so false. People really want to paint Viserys out to be this terrible abuser of Alicent, and look I think Viserys made a lot of poor decisions but I don't think you can make the claim that he abused Alicent. Now Alicent's father I could see an argument made for him being abusive to her, he pretty much pimped his daughter out. But here's the truth of it, Viserys was also a victim of Otto's schemes, he was also a piece that Otto used in his political games, he was also manipulated and gaslit by Otto. I feel like some are so much on the lets hate all men bandwagon that they just see every one of them as this evil monster out for their own ends, when really they are all just imperfect characters, some are worse than others but Viserys is far from the worst of them. I've seen people say that Viserys had a choice whether to get remarried or not and actually no he didn't, not really. We saw what the consequence of him rejecting Laena's hand was, Viserys spent the next couple of episodes trying to fix the political problems that followed and the time span of that was four years. The houses of the realm all have resources that the crown needs, whether that be soldiers, ships or gold etc. If the King doesn't keep them happy they can withhold these resources or plot against the King and well then the crown is kind of screwed. So really the only real choice Viserys had when it came to remarrying was whether it should be to the 12 year old Laena, a child, or the 15 year old Alicent which whether we like it or not in their society at 15 Alicent was considered of age and a woman and not a child. So to be fair given the choice between the two it makes sense that he chose Alicent, one because she was a woman grown (in their eyes) and two because for the last 6 months she had been coming to his bed chambers and having talks with him and helped him through his grief. I think its clear that Alicent suffered through that marriage but I don't think the culprit for that is Viserys, its Otto that put them both in that position for his own greed and ambitions. I don't think Viserys was particularly happy in that marriage either but it comes back to what I said above and the expectation to provide heirs. And lets be real here Viserys let Alicent get away with a lot of stuff that other Kings would have likely punished her severely for. Viserys just wanted to keep the peace, like him or not, he was far from a monstrous tyrant some seem to paint him as.

There is no prove that Rhaenyra ever actually intended to kill her siblings when she ascended the throne. I see this one quite a bit, that Alicent and TG had to usurp the throne because otherwise Rhaenyra would have no choice but to kill them as they were a challenge to her claim. But we are never given any indication that Rhaenyra planned to hurt her siblings and there were other solutions, she could ask them to publicly bend the knee and swear fealty to her, if other houses rose up in Aegon's or the other children's name then she could put them in a position where they can not inherit for example the Night's Watch or a position of honour as a Queen's Guard or as a Maester. Or she could have sent them into exile if it really came down to it. I mean even after they usurp her throne Rhaenyra still shows restraint and is concerned with the blood that would be shed if they go to war so I don't think it likely that she would have just killed them if they didn't try to challenge her.

The animosity between TG and TB's children is mostly Criston Cole's fault but also somewhat Alicent and Otto's fault. I mean Cole really pitted those boys against each other in the training yard, matching Aegon against Jace despite it clearly being an unfair match and also encouraging Aegon to be cruel in his fight against Jace, its no environment for kids to learn in. Instead it just fuelled the animosity between the boys. Add to that Alicent whispering to them about how Rhaenyra and by extension her boys are threats to them and its not surprising that the boys don't get along. When it comes to Alicent though I do think alot of her fear was instilled in her by her father and that is then trickling down into her own children. Otto tells Alicent that Rhaenyra will kill her children and puts that fear in her and then in turn Alicent passes that same message to her children, that the blacks are the enemy. Also I see alot of people claiming that Luke is a bully, that seems to be the justification for Aemond killing Luke, its well Luke took out Aemond's eye and bullied him about not having a dragon. Here's the thing though we only really see one instance of Jace and Luke bullying Aemond and that is the instance with the pig and it was clearly actually instigated by Aegon, the same Aegon who would grow up to enjoy watching children fight each other, which I again blame Cole for, more trickle effect in my opinion. We actually see a lot more scenes of the greens antagonising and bullying the blacks than the other way around. And I know what some will say, but Luke took Aemond's eye out. Which yes, and that's terrible but if you actually watch that fight scene again, the black's children are upset about their mother's dragon and are expressing that, the only one who was actually hurling insults and calling people names is Aemond, whilst the others are fearful Aemond is enjoying it. And before anyone comes at me, no I am not saying that its ok that Aemond lost his eye, nothing about that whole fight was ok and I mostly once again blame the adults, like was no one watching these kids, oh wait just remembered t was supposed to be Cole watching the kids that night so I guess I'm just going to blame him for this one too. The point is though we see Aemond, knock Jace twice in the training yard unprovoked, we see Aemond calling them names etc in that fight with the others, we see Aegon using Jace and Luke to bully his little brother, we see Aegon making vulgar comments to Jace and Baela at the dinner after their betrothal, Aemond making toasts insinuating the boys illegitimacy even after everyone had made up and causing a fight to break out. When it comes to Luke we see him, play the prank with the pig, slash Aemond's eye whilst trying to stop him from bashing Jace's head in with a rock and smile at a pig, which we don't even know for sure if he was smiling at the pig as you can hear Rhaena laughing next to him and so he could have been laughing at something she said. I'm not really sure those last two would count seeing as one was in smile defence and the other may or may not have even been about the pig, even if it was Luke just laughed and then turned away he didn't actually say anything. So like given how much more we see Aemond and Aegon antagonising Jace and Luke, whose the real bully?

Anyway think I've ranted on long enough. I've just done a rewatch of the first season so I've got a lot of thoughts currently. Might make some posts about them, we'll see.

[a-very-tired-jew]

Dropout Discord Keeps on Giving

You'd think with the server shutting down / freezing in a week or so that there would not be anything to report, but you'd be wrong.

In the past few days the current batch of users, specifically that one young Jew who believes all of us are brainwashed, have been posting some out there stuff.

I have the screen shots but at this point it can be summarized as Everyone is Brainwashed but Me still thinks their family is brainwashed and they can't be honest with them about the Truth™ without being labeled a "traitor". But they know the Truth™ that this is a Genocide and the worst thing ever and their family doesn't (remember this is someone in their early 20s). Their family gave them Noa Tishby's book to read and its full of Zionist lies and propaganda. In response another use recommended this link.

Fig. 1. User responding to Everyone is Brainwashed but Me with a video to "argue" back with.

This video features Dr. Lara Sheehi. If you don't know who that is, Dr. Sheehi has a history of antisemitic behavior and targeting of Jews in her classes. Dr. Sheehi has openly supported Hamas and her social media was the infamous Blackflaghag that posted such wonderful things as "FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR AID". Profiles on Dr. Sheehi repeat the same thing that much of her time as a professor was spent demonizing Jews and Israel and trying to recruit people to BDS and other causes.

She was a professor at GWU and the university's investigation "cleared" her. However, the Office of Civil Rights opened an investigation into her and suddenly she left GWU in January 2024 and is now a professor at the Doha Institute for Graduate Studies in Qatar. Considering that Qatar has funneled billions of dollars into the USA collegiate system, was host to leaders of Hamas for years, and their state media acts as a mouth piece for Hamas, it's not surprising that she would end up there considering the amount of work she did for the Cause™ in the USA.

I doubt anyone will point out any of this to them, nor would they accept it as anything other than "Hasbara". Later, they tell us that they finished the book and that it's full of apartheid denial and denial that Israel is a colonial state (there's a collage of pictures in between the two comments that I won't include here).

Fig. 2. Everyone is Brainwashed but Me mentions finishing the book.

The apartheid argument is one I have seen come up a multitude of times by activists, and it makes no sense to me. Apartheid, as defined, is the discriminatory authoritarian ruling of the majority by a minority population that results in segregation based on race within a country. As many have previously established, Arab Israelis have the same rights as all other non-Arab Israelis. They are part of the government, military, businesses, and so on. If the argument is to be made that there is apartheid like laws regarding Palestinians...well that makes no sense. The Palestinian territories are their own separate entity with their own separate governments, laws, and structures. Meaning, Palestinians entering Israel from Gaza or the WB are foreign nationals, they will of course be subject to different laws. In fact, every country has a set of laws for foreign nationals that differ in some capacity from the laws that govern their civilians. So we either have the Palestinian territories actually being a part of Israel in the mind of activists, which only area C could be considered this, or they're separate entities entirely. Area C gets into a whole realm of murky politicking that is outside of my realm of expertise, but it's the only place where I can see this argument hold any weight (and yes, the settlement stuff is bullshit and the military laws get into a whole weird realm of things, I'm well aware of this). However, I have yet to encounter any Western Activists acknowledging the complexity of Area C and the international laws and regulations regarding it, let alone the average activist even knowing the difference between the Areas, Israel, and Palestinian territories. Now, I have seen the lack of a right of return for Palestinians be used as an argument that Israel is an apartheid state. And again, I have to ask how? This type of law is not characteristic of apartheid as we know and define it. But again, if we get into this territory then what happens? Do they become Israelis or are they Palestinian citizens? What laws are they subject to? If they're foreign nationals living in Israel due to a right of return then they have different laws that adhere to them, which is not part of an apartheid system. If they become Israeli citizens then they have all the rights given to them as citizens. Neither of these support the claim. Simply put, they insist Israel is an apartheid state and when you mention any form of the above they call you a racist spreading propaganda and then shut down any meaningful discussion (in Dropout's case they kick you from the server for pointing out how wrong they are about things). We have a clear definition of what apartheid means and what practices are involved, but like "genocide" it seems that this definition has gone out the window and is now defined as anything people want it to be. As for the colonial state argument, who is Israel a colony of? And don't say the USA or the UK, that would mean that they send resources back to those countries, are taxed by them, their government is controlled in every capacity by them, and so much more. Considering anti-Zionists like to say the USA's government is controlled by Israel, it's quite contradictory. It appears that so much of the Western Activist's antisemitism anti-Zionism is couched within just believing everything Jews Israelis Zionists say is lies while openly believing a terrorist organization's narrative (an organization that I, once again, need remind everyone is on record saying they would manipulate Westerns into believing their narrative regardless of its veracity).

[revvethasmythh]

I think it's very interesting--and I mean that genuinely--that overwhelmingly in the past week or two, the responses I've seen about Relvin have centered around the idea that "he should have fought" for Imogen or that "he should FIGHT" for Imogen. I've seen this particular line pop up quite a few times in slightly different ways, and I think maybe we should unpack this a little.

Because in the physical sense, Relvin can't really fight. By that, I mean his stats probably look like Gilear Faeths and like, yeah, you can argue that Gilear tagged along during Sophomore Year and therefore, so could Relvin. But Gilear also *spoilers* died three separate times in a 20 episode span, and is only alive at the end because Emily loves him so fucking much and Brennan's resurrection rules in FHSY are more lax than Matt's. Particularly post-Solstice, where there is no resurrection to be had at all if Relvin were to die. If you want Relvin to join the Hells and Fight The Moon And Ludinus Too, it's really not feasible even on just a physical level. That's not even engaging with the question of "why would the Hells even want him there?" They wouldn't. He'd be a nuisance at best and a liability at worst.

If you want to him to Fight The Moon sans the Hells on his own, he's really not capable of that either! He's not a scholar, he's not a magic user, he's--he's a groom. A stablehand. He can't "pick up his pitchfork" (that he shovels manure with) and stand defiantly against the forces that face Imogen & Co. He's really, truly Just A Dude. Which is kind of the point I've been trying to make about him. He's lived his life around extraordinary people, and he is not extraordinary. He doesn't have the tools to fight something like this, which is part of his tragedy. Is there a world where he quits his job, leaves his horses and his home and his life and tries to become a warrior for the sake of his absentee wife and the daughter he loves but doesn't know how to love the right way? I suppose. But wouldn't that be a different story than this one? And isn't it worth finding the meaning in the one we're experiencing now?

If this argument is that he should have fought for Imogen on an emotional level i.e. having been there for her more or more outwardly shown her affection, we kind of run aground of the same problems. The ask here is that we fundamentally change Relvin's character to make him something that he is not. He is a man who struggles with emotions, and was probably desperately scared about what Imogen was experiencing when it happened and didn't want her to feel his fear. Or his thoughts about her mother. And so, yes, he pulls away (for a variety of reasons). And there is a conversation to be had about his choice to withhold information about Liliana--it's questionable. But, then, every option he was presented with was questionable. What do you tell Imogen, who was abandoned by her mother when she was two? That her mother is dead, or that her mother abandoned her? You pray Imogen never develops the same debilitating powers as her mother, but when she does? Do you give her the comfort of knowing someone else had the same powers, the same struggles, at the expense of prompting more questions about her mother? Do you take the chance to be peppered with questions about how these powers work only to helplessly look on and say "I don't know," and maybe send Imogen down the same road as her mother even sooner than she actually did?

There is no good option. There is no heroic version of Relvin that makes all the right choices and becomes Imogen's white knight father, endlessly supportive and wholly committed to her. The situation is too complicated, and Relvin, frankly, is far too much Just Some Guy to be able to really grasp what Imogen is going through or to fight it in an active way. But I do think it's interesting that this seems to be the version of Relvin that the fandom would have found acceptable.

[chrisevansonly]

Miscommunication

Chris Evans x Female Reader

Summary: You rarely argue, hating confrontation you tend to avoid it at all costs, but when a miscommunication happens and you overhear something with no context, tensions bubble over and you’re stuck in your least favourite spot

Warnings: angst, body insecurities, miscommunication, yelling, swearing, slight mention of eating disorder/food insecurity, happy ending<3

A/N: I love a good angst to happy ending, and I decided to give a lil argument a go, I really need to try and get more confident in my writing because I constantly feel like its horrible hahaha, anyway being a mid size gal who has lost a lot of weight, I wanted to write something to include the girls who aren’t thin, and who do have a belly, thicker thighs, because sometimes bigger girls are left out. There is nothing wrong with your bodies, no matter what size you are from a 00-20+ you’re beautiful and you deserve to be loved and accepted for you<3

Word Count: 1,257

 Being a girl who’s a little on the bigger side, well I guess midsize would be the term everyone’s using these days, you’d often have good and bad days, that was just a part of the journey to self-love and to becoming more confident in your own skin. You were a confident woman, owning your body, wearing what you loved to wear, and you also happened to have a boyfriend who loved you unconditionally, and was your biggest hype man. Reminding you every day how much he loved you, from leaving sticky notes on the mirrors in the house with reminders or little quotes of motivation. If you had a bad day with eating, he’d be right beside you, making small snacks and eating with you, to encouraging and celebrating your little accomplishments with every meal. Chris was truly your number one fan, and always made sure he supported you in any way he possible could, so it certainly surprised you when you accidentally overheard a conversation you felt wasn’t meant to be heard 

“there’s no way she’s going to fit into that…are you kidding me?”

“I mean if only there was a way that would even work.”

“No, it’ll look horrible…”

“I don’t even want to picture her wearing that.”

You didn’t listen in much after that because despite not knowing who or what he was talking about, your brain immediately went to flight mode, and you were in your shared bedroom within seconds. You felt disgusted with yourself, to think Chris would be talking about you like that to someone else, it made your stomach churn, the urge to get rid of everything you’d had to eat that day surfacing up. You didn’t even want to look at yourself in the mirror, taking down all those stupid sticky notes he put on them, because as far as you knew, it was all a lie now anyway. You let yourself sulk for some of the afternoon before going down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, your stomach rumbling quietly but your appetite long gone. Chris was looking through the fridge no doubt searching for something to whip together for lunch 

“Hey baby, you getting hungry?”

You shook your head grabbing a glass from the cupboard in front of you 

“No thanks”

He watched you silently for a few moments as you got your water, his eyes trained on you, the feeling of him staring pausing your movements while you looked at him

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just you haven’t eaten since breakfast…are you sure you aren’t hungry?”

So now suddenly he cares if you’re hungry or not?

“Why do you care if I’m hungry or not.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You rolled your eyes not wanting to start a huge fight or argument but before you could leave the kitchen, he grabbed a hold of your elbow gently 

“Honey what the hell is going on?”

“You of all people should know Chris.” 

He furrowed his brows, and you could tell he was wracking his brain trying to figure out what the problem could be 

“Well, I clearly don’t, so If you could enlighten me as to why you’re so angry that would be great.”

“Figure it out.” 

You turned and went towards your bedroom again, Chris hot on your heels

“We aren’t fucking playing this game y/n, I’m not chasing after you trying to figure out why you’re upset, so quit running away and talk to me!”

“I heard you on goddamn phone this morning okay!”

He shook his head his hand coming up to rub his face gently 

“Okay? What’s wrong with me being on the phone…am I not allowed to do that?”

“It’s not the phone, it’s what you said! There’s no way she’s going to fit in that, I don’t even want to picture her wearing that, it’ll look horrible! It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out that conversation was about me Chris! I get it, I’m not some stick thin vogue model, I don’t fit into everything, I fucking get that. I would have n-never guessed you of all p-people would point that out to someone over the phone.” 

His expression dropped instantly, and he moved toward you to take your hands in his but you stepped back 

“I get it okay, I’m gross to look at, embarrassing to be around, I already knew a-all of that, I thought i-it didn’t bother you, apparently I was wrong.”

When the tears started to fall down your cheeks, Chris was quick to pull you to him, holding you as if you were going to disappear before his eyes, your body shaking against him as your thoughts ran rampant 

“Oh baby…. I’m so sorry, honey this whole thing is a miscommunication, I wasn’t saying anything bad about you, I would never, but I know why you’d think that I should have worded it differently”

You sniffled against the fabric of his sweater, not moving from his embrace, your silence allowing him to continue 

“I was having something special designed for you, and the company got your size wrong, and I was frustrated because I had told them hundreds of times, I was upset because I knew it would make you uncomfortable and wouldn’t highlight how beautiful you are, but I guess my choice in words were shit. I promise you baby I love you and your body so much, there is nothing horrible about you, there is nothing embarrassing about you. I am so fucking fortunate to get to love all of you every day, flaws and all, even though you’re absolutely perfect in my eyes.”

He pulled back slightly so he could take your face in his hands, a sad smile tugging at his lips while his thumbs wiped away your tears 

“You are everything to me and more pretty girl, I promise you, there is nothing in this world that can convince me you aren’t endgame for me, I love you with everything in me, and I need you to know how beautiful you are to me.”

“I’m s-sorry...”

He shook his head pressing a gentle kiss to your lips 

“You don’t need to say sorry honey, I should have made my intentions more clear on the phone, that’s my fault”

You moved back to rest your head against his chest, and he rubbed his hands up and down your back soothingly, calming you down

“I love you so much, I want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are. Always.”

“I love you too, I’m sorry I jumped to the worst conclusion”

Chris tightened his hold on you hating the fact that he made you feel this way 

“You don’t need to apologize to me baby, I promise…now can I make you some lunch to make up for this?”

Your stomach growling in response made him chuckle quietly, giving him the answer, he needed

“So, lunch and then I need to make some updated sticky notes…seems like some have gone missing.”

Chris stuck to his word, making the two of you some food before sitting down and eating it with you, before grabbing his sticky note pads and writing little reminders on them to stick to the mirrors in your bedroom again. A constant note that would continue to let you know just how much he loved you and everything you offered him, because at the end of the day, you were perfect for him, just like he was for you. 

[majorbaby]

i was going to make a video compilation but actually i think that would give MASH too much credit or make it seem like I really think this show did generally well by race and racism, plus I can't go back and edit a video if I change my mind at any point. so here's my text-based list of race moments that actually land for me, whether intentional or based on my personal interpretation.

s01e05 The Moose - which is mostly a white saviour episode but actually does do a few things right:

this moment of solidarity between Oliver and Young-Hi

in response to the Swamp Rats' indignation that anyone would sell their child into servitude, Ho-Jon explains very frankly "Well some of the locals sell their kids for money Hawkeye, they have no other means." - not to say that it's right that Young-Hi's parents did that to her, but like, they didn't sell her to get rich, they did it because they're likely living in poverty and they have other younger children to support

Young-Hi cheekily explaining in her letter to Hawkeye "heehee the nuns have no idea I'm Buddhist" she's taking them for a ride, it's great

and Young-Hi's "I am also very beautiful!"

s02e15 Officers Only

Hawkeye introducing a black enlisted man as his brother-in-law - soooo very recently, like I argued this at the mic at my last convention, we've started to rethink the use of"brother" and "sister" to refer to your union comrades has start. if your boss caught you organizing with a friend after work, you would say "oh that's just my brother/sister". arguments against this are gaining traction now because of growing awareness of non-binary people but tbh it should have never been a thing it only protects white people who can reasonably pass as siblings, if you're black or brown you're SOL (as you usually were anyway). so anyway. this is a long ass paragraph just to say that Hawkeye saying " brother-in-law" in the union episode of MASH makes me feel ways. someone was thinking about intersectionality way back then.

s02e19 The Chosen People

Sam Pak in OR at the beginning of the episode, thanking America for saving Korea "from the bottom of our bomb craters." and also just generally making jokes that actually land about the Korean language because he's the one making them, "Pish-posh? That's my mother's family name"

tbh Sam walking around like he owns the base is pretty great in general

s05e08 Dear Sigmund

Klinger: Smaha! Smaha! Potter: [to Private Habib] What'd he say? Habib: He said "Smaha! Smaha!"

If it is Arabic it's funny because Potter assumes Habib will translate and he just repeats the words in Arabic because that is what Klinger literally said. If it is gibberish it's funny because Potter assumes its Arabic and Habib gives him the gibberish. This is one of my favourite gags in the whole show and fun fact also the moment I realized Jamie Farr must be a native speaker because his accent is so natural. It's pretty cool he got to flex that.

s05e11 Hawk's Nightmare

this is just me, but I love that Hawkeye describes the people of Crabapple Cove as never changing colour, always the same "off-white" - this was a time you almost never heard white people acknowledge their whiteness, except when speaking about racism. really struck me the first time i heard it. probably my favourite thing from Hawkeye re: race and it's not intentional. I definitely prefer it to his white saviourism

s06e08 In Love and War

the exchange between Kyungsoon and Hawkeye where the extent of his naiveté is put on display, "You're being awfully practical about this" "I thought you liked that about me [list of things she had to do for survival that Hawkeye initially admired in her but is now throwing in her face]"

episode ends in Hawkeye having to accept that sometimes love is irrelevant, the circumstances are what they are (the love was there and it didn't matter, but it was there) - this imo is the only episode of MASH that even begins to touch on the realities of being a Korean civilian in the war

s08e03 Guerilla My Dreams

the gang fails to save a woman from being taken away and she will likely die, as would've probably happened irl. sometimes being on a sitcom isn't enough to save you from your fate as a prisoner of war and it was good to be reminded of that for once. it's the white saviour trope averted.

s08e08 Private Finance

I can at least appreciate that this time when someone is explaining how all sides of the war are to blame for the scourge of war, it's a young Korean girl in her own words. rest of the episode is questionable but normally such a line would go to Hawkeye.

s08e15 Yessir that's Our Baby

the Korean official biting back when Hawkeye tries to accuse him (on behalf of the country) for not recognizing mixed-race babies as Korean, stating that neither does America recognize mixed-race babies with American fathers as Americans, unlike France and the UK

s11e01 Hey Look Me Over

this episode is textually about the very specific and not uncommon experience of being desexualized as a fat, Asian-American woman - it deserves a proper episode recap/analysis with that lens and I'm planning on take a stab at it if/when I ever get around to that ep in my rewatch. these stories were not being told in mainstream media until like, five years ago. there are some the hypersexualized or fetishized Asian woman in media and usually the movie/show/comic is doing that as a selling point rather than commentary. it's unfortunate we haven't progressed much since that moment 40 years ago.

[citation needed, cannot remember the name of the episode]

while admitted a Korean doctor tells Hawkeye he wishes things were different and that he could work alongside Hawkeye and BJ and Hawkeye asks with perfect American ignorance (paraphrase), "You'd want to do that?" and he responds, "You treat the enemy, why can't I?"

And finally, Soon-Lee and Klinger in GFA, a little bit in As Time Goes By. I started writing an essay on Klinger as the romantic lead of GFA but I think I'm going to try to make it a video essay so I can include clips from the show without having to make a bunch of gifs.

But in a nutshell, Klinger gets to do stuff in GFA that the often emasculated brown man still doesn't get to do much on television. As MASH progressed we did occasionally get to see Klinger take on a more serious role, Alan Alda has spoken on trying to do that for the character rather than rehash dramatic plotlines for Hawkeye or BJ who got plenty of their own.

Having Klinger represented that way gives audiences a chance to see him more three-dimensionally. As someone who is capable of romantic love, attraction, courage and someone who might be sexually desirable to others - in a less direct way than Kellye demands of Hawkeye in Hey Look Me Over. I think the lack of subtlety in Hey Look Me Over is great because there can be no question about what that episode is supposed to do and also because it drives home that Hawkeye is so blinded by his preconceived notions of what a "desirable woman" looks and sounds like that Kellye has to scream it in his face before he realizes what he's been doing. But it's also nice to have an example that's woven into the writing and cinematography.

Normally I don't like to add these kinds of disclaimers because I value open conversation but if you're rb'ing, please be mindful of your tags. I intentionally excluded a lot of the moments where I know I'm supposed to give this show an A+ for its progressivism when it has a white person demonstrating basic human decency. That bar is just too low for me.