#fem!silver

[rozengrotto]

Diasomnia Girls

[slaytheusurper]

⭑ Better when you're here ⭑

Masterlist

Pairing: Sad!king!aegon x sister!reader

A/N: #needthat

Warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, pure filth, aegon whines so much I lost count, heavy mommy kink, sub aegon, fingering, piv sex, slight handjob, titty sucking (yes again), sad aegon.

Summary: Sad and needy Aegon just needs mummy to make him feel better :((((

Word count: 2.2k (pretty short blurb)

The gardens were your favourite place in the Red Keep, it was often quiet. And not to mention the beautiful view of the sea. You sat at one of the table’s in an alcove, it was nice and tucked away, giving you your own private space.

You read some book for a while and enjoyed your wine and lemoncakes. Because you never knew when it would be the last time you could sit here. You had been of age for two years now, and even though you have avoided marriage for quite a while, you never knew what your grandsire Otto Hightower had in mind. 

Now you had at least some security since your eldest brother Aegon was now king and everyone was distracted by the war that loomed over Westeros like a black cloud. Only a few more drops of rain to form before the whole thing came crashing down. 

Frustration and anxiety filled everyone's hearts and it was hard to pretend nothing was wrong. But the person you feared most right now was Aemond, he seemed to lose control everyday and he shocked the realm when he killed his own fourteen year old nephew at Storm’s End. However he was now to marry too, to some Baratheon girl and you knew that soon they would use you too, to make alliances with houses. Binded by a meaningless marriage.

You felt like it was all you were good for, and you saw how it affected Helaena and Aegon. Your heart broke for her, she wanted nothing more than to be left alone and live in peace, yet she must be queen. Aegon was of course also affected by this, ever since he became king he drank more than ever before and had even grown a bit of a belly. Still he remained of a nice physique. 

You couldn’t even remember the last time you rode your dragons with him. He didn’t have much of a relationship with Helaena, seeing her more as his quiet sister than his wife and queen and for some reason it seemed better that way. She would be left alone more. 

But you and Aegon were a different story, you liked to sneak around and have fun with him. He might not be a great king or a good man but he was a good brother to you. And you saw things in him that no one else seemed to. The crown seemed to only stress him out and you knew that he just wanted to live out his days drinking wine and relaxing but your mother and grandsire had other plans. 

As of late you couldn’t see him much, council meetings took a great part of the day and he would always hide in his chambers afterwards. Your mother seemed to keep you away from him, for what reason you didn’t know. Your days went from watching Aemond train, flying around KIng’s Landing with Aegon and running around the Red Keep with friends to praying at the Sept, locked inside your chamber or helping Helaena with embroidery. That is why the gardens offered a nice escape.

Soon you would pay a visit to your elder sister and her twins. After a morning at the sept with your mother and sister you needed some alone time. But Helaena was always a calming and nice presence and it was good to keep her company.

After reading the last sentence of a chapter you closed the book, and decided it would be nice to sow with Helaena. As you walked through the halls of the red keep numerous ‘your grace’ and ‘princes’ surrounded you, staff getting out of your way. You ascended the stairs in the throne room, it was empty. Soon it would be supper time but there was enough time.

When you reached Helaena’s door you could already hear your niece and nephew playing, which put a smile on your face. You knocked twice and a handmaiden opened, letting you inside. Helaena was sitting on some blankets and pillows, already embroidering what looked like a blanket. She looked up and slightly smiled when you joined her side, children playing on their own blanket. 

Getting handed some thread, a needle and a new fabric, as was the routine, you began to work on something for Aegon and if you worked hard enough you could bring it to him tonight. When you were about finished, a servant came in to fetch you and Helaena for supper with the family.

But when you arrived only Aemond, Alicent and Otto were there, Aegon’s seat was empty. Silently you both joined them and began eating without him. Supper was tense and silent as it had been for about a month now. When you had finished, you excused yourself and fetched the doublet you had finished before supper, wanting to bring a gift to your brother. 

When you had fetched it you hurriedly made your way up to the king's bedchambers, you knew something was wrong with Aegon, all the stress had probably gotten to him. When you had almost reached the door Ser Criston Cole stood guard there. He bowed his head before he spoke; “Princess, the king does not wish to be disturbed right now.” He said politely. 

“I understand, but I have something to cheer him up, so please, let me enter.” Ser Criston seemed to think about it, before releasing a sigh and opening the door for you, very softly as to not disturb his grace. You stepped inside and Cole just as softly as he opened the door, closed it again. It was now dark and Aegon’s fire was lit as he sat in a chair in front of it, you could hear the sobs coming from him. It broke your heart. 

You quietly made your way towards him. “Aegon?” You called out. He didn’t lift his head. You walked around him so you were standing in front of him, he looked up with red stained cheeks, and red, tear filled eyes. “Oh Aeg- what happened?” You asked him, instead of answering he buried his head into your stomach, his hand gripping your dress as he sobbed into it. The doublet falling on the ground.

You caressed his messy short silver locks and he continued to sob for a while, in your embrace. Then he seemed to speak up; “They- don’t care about- me-” He choked against you in between sobs. “Who doesn’t care about you?” You were confused but he lifted his head from your now tear stained dress. “The- the- council- mother- my own hand- they don’t- care-!” He sobbed as he looked at you desperately. 

But to your surprise he pulled you in his lap as his hands were still clinging to your dress. You gasped as you landed on his thighs, he buried his face in your chest instead and continued to cry, the doublet on the ground, forgotten. “Aegon they do care, especially mother, they just want the best for you. To help guide you since they have knowledge of war-” “No! They all hate me- everyone of them!” His breath on your skin gave you goosebumps. His hand now rested on your hip, keeping you in place. 

“You’re the only one who loves me- I see that now- my beautiful smart sister.” He seemed to have exhausted his tears as they now stopped, he breathed heavily against your chest, nuzzling his face against your breasts. He must have had wine. “You love me? Right sister?” He mumbled against your breasts. “Of course I do, so incredibly much. I would do anything for you.” You soothed him, hand still grazing through his silver locks. His purple eyes stared up at you and he smiled slightly.

“Anything?” He asked softly. “Of course, you are not only my brother but my king.” You smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead. This stirred something in him and he breathed heavier again. His face and especially his nose grazed your neck and jaw, lips ghosting over the warm skin. Your own breath hitched in your throat at the feeling. “Aeg-” He ignored you and started to kiss and nip at the soft skin. You lightly gasped at the feeling, and then you felt something hard against your thigh. 

“Brother I don’t think we should-” He stopped and looked at you with teary eyes. “I need this- I need you. Please- just- just let me make you feel good. To thank you. Please mummy.” That last part was whined against your chest where he let his hand graze the low neckline of your dress. Since it was warm earlier, it was quite thin and loose. Your body felt hot at his words, your lower stomach filled with an ache you didn’t understand.

His hand started then at the bottom of your leg, underneath your dress, as he caressed your leg moving up and up where you didn’t know you needed him. “I’m so hard for you mummy. All because of you.” He whined. His hand had finally reached your core, two of his fingers rubbing over your smallclothes, which were already wet with your slick. “Aegon-” You moaned, sparks went off in your body at his touch, you had no idea what he was doing to you but seven hells did it feel good. You hoped he would never stop, but still it felt wrong and guilt consumed you. Yet you didn’t stop him.

His other hand that didn’t tease your clothed clit was still busy with your neckline. The dress was loose enough for him to pull it down so your tits would fall out. He wasted no time in sucking on them. The feeling of his warm wet tongue sucking on your nipple made you release a moan. It felt way too good, it had to be a sin. Aegon himself moaned around your breast, bucking his hips up in need for friction. All your will to stop him had left you. Desire clouding your mind. You moved so that both of your legs were now on either side of his lap, the chair was big and comfortable enough to allow this. 

Aegon released your nipple but never moved his hand from teasing you. But when you sat down, his hand trapped, he removed it and pulled at your dress, eager to remove it. You didn’t know why you did it, but you needed him. You helped him remove your dress and shimmied out of your small clothes as well. “Need to be inside you mummy.” You gasped at his fingers sliding through your now bare slit. His fingers then stimulating your clit. Your breath hitched when he put a finger inside you, going deeper until he found that spot that would make you see stars. He stretched you out a bit for a while until he got too impatient and grabbed your hand to place between you, over his bulge. 

You instinctively squeezed it making him gasp. He moved your hand and quickly undid his breeches himself. He then reached for your hand again and helped you stroke his thick veiny cock. Pre cum started to dribble out over both your hands. And Aegon groaned at the sight. When he was almost about to cum for your hand alone, he removed it, as he did, he removed his fingers inside your cunt as well. Grabbing your hips instead, his cock was so hard it hurt and the feeling of his tip hitting your warm slick entrance almost made him cry out. He used one hand to guide his cock better inside you and you winced in pain. “It’ll be better soon, I promise.” He said softly. 

You whispered okay and he buried himself deeper inside until he was fully sheathed inside you. Your clit hit his pelvic bone and a bolt of pleasure shot through you. You felt so sensitive and weak. When you felt like the pain went away you slowly started to grind and bounce on his cock, testing the waters. He whimpered in response, it just felt so good for him. He held on to your hips so you could start a steady rhythm and he knew he wouldn't last long. “So tight mummy- feels so good.” He sobbed. Squelching and slapping noises filled the room and you both forgot all about a certain guard outside. 

Both of your moans filled each other's mouths as you held on tight to each other. Lost in pleasure you chase your release and started riding him faster, Aegon started to fuck up into you in response chasing his own high. “Mummy- I-I’m close- please- gonna fill you so good.” Aegon whined. This only spurred you on and soon you clenched down on his cock, fire striking through you, you had never felt such insane pleasure in your life. Aegon did not stop fucking into you though and only moments later he cried out as his warm seed filled you. He squeezed you against him tightly to hold you in place. 

He came so much it started to drip out along his shaft, onto his balls and some drops even landed on the floor. You both caught your breath and Aegon didn’t let go of you. But after a few moments his grip loosened and you winced when his softening cock left you. He whined at your warm body getting up but you soothed him, just getting the rest of his clothes off and helping him to the bed. You laid down as well and he immediately crawled up against your chest. “Thank you mummy.”

[quimichi]

↳ ❝ [YOU SEND THEM A NUDE] ¡! ❞ - MDNI

↳ Chat: Pt.1 - Pt.2 - Pt.3

characters: Rook, Epel, Idia, Malleus, Lilia, Silver and Sebek x F!Reader

[arahdow]

BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR QUILLS !

Pairing. Sonic x reader, Shadow x reader, Silver x reader, Knuckles x reader

Content. fem!reader. fluff, tiny silly argument in shadow’s, cuddling, overall soft stuff.

Word count. 1.6 k

A/N. writing sonic was the hardest thing i’ve ever done aH idk why!! i’ll make sure to write him more often to get used to his personality aH anywaaay, again, not beta read, i’m really sacrificing my sleep hours for this one sjdjs hope y’all like it!!

SONIC

making you run and accidentally crashing with him.

“Come on! You’re being too slow!” Sonic screamed as he kept on running, his feet moving way too fast for her liking. 

Just a few days ago, the blue hedgehog encouraged his partner to go out for a run together, and she knew he was an athletic man, but this? This was torture.

“Sonic… Wait… I can’t” her feet were moving so slow compared to his, especially when she wasn’t used to running this much. 

“One foot in front of the other! Come on!” Sonic said laughing, as he ran backwards, looking at the girl. She huffed with annoyance, the hedgehog still winning even when running like that!

After a while, the blue animal ran faster and almost disappeared from her sight. The girl took a deep breath and started running faster. Somehow, the fear of getting lost in the forest making her move, helping with adrenaline. Suddenly her body was moving faster than before. Way faster! 

Her body, sadly, started to grow tired quickly because of the energy she was using. Her lower limbs suddenly getting wobbly, but somehow kept running. Out of instinct, she thought.

That was until she realized she was about to crash into a stone wall at the end of the road, it was getting dangerously close!

The girl stretched her arms to cushion the blow. A violent ‘Hey!’ was all she could hear as she crashed, not on a stone wall, but rather a soft body. Sonic’s body to be clear.

He used his own body to soften the crash, but something was wrong.

“Ouch! Wha-”

She looked down and saw one of Sonic’s blue quills stuck on her shoulder. “Damn… Ouch.” 

The animal was sprawled upon her, but quickly recovered to take a look at his injured girlfriend. “Oh, I’m sorry darling,” he said with a sheepish smile, helping her stand up, careful not to mess with the quill. “but it’s kinda your fault to run that fast, thought you were about to destroy time and spac- Ouch! Why are you hitting me!” He said with a pained laugh.

“You’re an asshole! Help me get this out!” She complained, annoyed that the man was making fun of her.

“Aw, don’t be all grumpy, I promise not to make you run again.” He said, pushing her slightly to take her to the infirmary. “Hey, maybe next time you can try Shadow’s air shoe-”

“Don’t even finish that thought.”

SHADOW

silly old couple argument

“Move.” The girl didn’t reply, her gaze focused on the tv. “Get up.”

“Git ip.” she mocked.

The black hedgehog grumbled, sitting really close to her, almost on her.

“Hey-”

“This is my side of the couch, you know that.” He said as he crossed his arms. “I don’t like this channel.”

“You don’t like anything, Shadow.” She complained, not giving him the remote.

They’ve been living together for a year, two years being a couple, and they still bickered like an old couple. It became something usual between them, and it got even worse when speaking of the sofa. There was only this purple sofa in the living room, both her and Shadow liked it, but there was just something about the spot on the far left that was perfect. For both of them.

So if they were together in the house, it was usual for them to fight over the sofa spot, like they were doing now.

“I’m feeling hot, you need to get off of me!”

“I’m not on you, you’re the one occupying my place!”

“Shadow!” she pushed the hedgehog with her shoulder, as he pressed even harder on her.

With a huff, she turned and put her hands on him to push him again, when a quill suddenly pinched her hand. 

“Ow!” She exclaimed, looking at the dark quill stuck on her. “You can have your stupid place on the couch!” the girl said as she stuck her tongue and got up to the kitchen, looking for some tweezers to take the quill out.

Not many long after, the man got into the kitchen, following her, taking her arm in his hand. “Hey-”

“I’m sorry.” He said, looking intently at the sensitive red spot on her hand. Pressing his lips, he brought her hand under the faucet to clean the wound. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Please forgive me.” 

The girl snorted. “It’s alright though, I was just messing with you, but you were seriously pressed, huh? Pressed enough to hurt me.” She said with a fake tone of hurt on her voice.

Shadow rolled his eyes. “You’re not gonna let this down, are you?”

She gasped and whined, putting on a pouty face, “Ow! It hurts! Please! Why are you so mean to me?”

“Alright alright, you can have the couch for today.” He sighed, shaking his head with humor.

The girl smiled, her face expression going back to normal. Turning happily, the girl kissed his cheek before running to the couch. “Love you, Shads!” 

SILVER

cuddling after a long day but uh oh…

After a tiring day outside, he wanted nothing more than to be at home, eat the food his girl made for him and spend time with her. It was a simple plan, and the cherry on top? Cuddling with her on bed, his face pressed on her stomach as she threaded his quills.

It was a usual occurrence, both of them lying down in silence, sometimes him laying on her lap, sometimes her on his, but they spent most of their time cheek to cheek.

“Silver…” She whispered, afraid of disturbing him. But he didn’t reply, instead, a soft snore broke his silence.

The girl giggled a bit as she kept on caressing his face and quills. It was times like this where she found herself falling once again for her hedgehog lover. She was actually reading a book on her other hand, so her attention was mostly directed to it.

Being immersed on the story, she got really focused on the sentences, suddenly drifting off from her task on her other hand. She unconsciously made her limb move in erratic ways, as she tried to keep on doing both things at the same time.

That was until she felt a slight sting on her hand. Jolting, she yelped as she retreated her hand from his body. The movement was so sudden, Silver opened his sleepy eyes, sensing something wrong.

Leaning back enough so he could see his partner in the eye, he found instead a look of slight pain as she held her hand in front of her face, a silverish quill stuck on her palm.

“Oh chaos, dear, your hand!” He expressed, incorporating as he held her hand for a bit. Using his telekinesis, he brought the aid kit to bed. Doing a careful procedure, he took the quill out from her hand, making her hiss at the feeling.

“I’m sorry…” He said.

“Don’t be, it was my fault, I was completely distracted by the story.” She replied, looking at the book beside her.

Silver took a look, as he kept patching her hand. “Hey! That’s the book I recommended the other day!” 

“It is! And it’s so good! I really loved it when the protagonist saved the kids from the falling building.” 

“That was my favorite part too!” He said. Both of them laughed and kept on talking about the book. He was really happy to have her in his life.

KNUCKLES

It’s shedding season! And your roomie-bf is in the house!

Cleaning after an echidna warrior was difficult, especially when he kept bringing his dirty shoes inside her home, her food taken, and her bed occupied. But she honestly loved Knuckles company, so she carried on with it.

It was starting to get a whole lot colder outside, as the temperature began to cool down. It was that time of the year where the island became a little snowglobe, so the echidna spent more time at her partner’s home than anywhere else.

Today she needed to do the laundry, piles of dirty clothes started to form, and even though Knuckles tried to convince her to stop using clothes like him, that still wasn’t on her plans, at least not on a short term.

Sighing, she started to walk towards the laundry room, a pile of white clothes on her arms, making seeing the floor almost impossible. Knuckles was sleeping in her room, so she let him. She’ll make him fold the clothes afterwards either way. Sure, she’d let him crash whenever he needed it, but it came with a price.

Opening the door of the room, the girl stepped inside. But she wasn't ready to feel an electric pain coursing from the bottom of her feet to her core. A scared scream left her throat as the pile of clothes fell from her hands. Tripping, the girl fell on her butt with a thud. Not a second later, the echidna was already punching the laundry’s room door, breaking it. His breathing agitated as he saw his significant other on the floor.

“What happened?” He asked, worried that someone might have come into her home. 

The girl crawled, starting to search in between the clothes as she stumbled upon a red quill. Taking it in between her fingers, she showed it to the animal, furrowed eyebrows on her face.

Knuckles saw the quill with curious eyes. “You stepped on a quill of mine?” 

She threw the quill at him, half annoyed. “Of course I did! Don’t go around shedding your stuff please. Look! Now my foot hurts because of it.” She said as she looked at her now destroyed door. “And that too!” The mammal listened to her words, and before she could complain for anything else, he got closer to take the girl in his arms, an easy task for him, and brought her to the sofa. Laying her down, he put a gloved hand on his own chest.

“I’ll take care of the laundry to compensate for it.” He oathed, the girl surprised for his serious face, snorting in the process.

“That’d be nice.” She said, as she looked at her foot, not swollen or anything. “I could help you though-”

“No, you stay there.” He demanded as he strided to the laundry room.

A moment later, he came back stomping to the living room again. 

“Uhm… How does the machine that washes clothes works?”

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Ranking the NRC boys on how well they could drape a saree

On account of it being Wedding Season™, I present to you a tier list I made as I was waiting for my mum to finish getting ready at the salon

Just a reminder that I write for female readers

For some reason, Ortho’s not showing up but he would be top tier because Idia 100% programmed him to be able to do that (I’m talking about for Idia’s gf by the way)

[bldhrry]

gold rush

Cassian x Fem!Reader Summary: After stopping your father from clipping your wings, Rhysand offers you refuge in Velaris at the House of Wind. Living with Cassian isn't terrible but he is loud and annoying and overly interested in you. Despite his overbearing nature, you can't help but start to fall for him. Masterlist

warnings: cursing, abuse, suggestive language, kissing

word count: 9.2k

author's note: lil cass slow burn! hope you like it n lmk what you think!

When you woke that morning with blood soaking your sheets and legs you knew you stood no chance against the expectations of females in the village.  You hid your ruined bed sheets and night clothes in your closet and despite an hour in the bath, your scent was simply too strong and your father pieced it together quickly.

The start of an Illyrian female’s cycle was the death of her wings and you were desperate to save them.  You loved your wings; they were unlike any of the other villagers.  Unlike their dark brown, yours were a reddish pink and the sun shone through them easily revealing all the intricate veins that hid beneath the skin.

Your father chased you around the house and despite efforts to dodge his attacks, he cornered you in the kitchen and before you knew it he had your hair in his fist, dragging you to the village square.  You were to be made an example to the other females in the camp that this was inevitable and although you were the daughter of a camp lord you were not an exception to the culture.  Your wings were not meant to be used; they were simply decorations and nothing more.

You had put up a fight, kicking and screaming and scratching your father and when you had managed to escape his grasps, the other lords were quick to tackle and pin you down.  A few received bites and threats, but this wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle.  This was an almost everyday occurrence.

Your father threw you on to the stone pavement and you rose to your hands and knees and tried to scramble away but he grabbed your ankle, pulling you towards him and flipping you around.

“I fucking hate you,” you snarled at him, kicking his stomach.

It was raining so bad you could barely see what was going on but you felt him release his grip on you but it was quickly replaced by another set of hands and your father made his way behind you.  He grabbed the talon on your left wing and pulled you up so you were on your knees and through the rain you could see the glint of the knife he held in his hand.

You started to cry, your tears mixing with the rain that was pouring down your face.  “Please,” you begged, twisting in his grasp.  

You tried keeping your wings tucked in so he wouldn’t be able to destroy them, but it was to no avail as he forced them open and pierced it with his knife.

You screamed and fell forward on to your chest.  Whoever had been grabbing you was gone and you crawled away from your father, the knife still lodged in your wing.  He maintained his grip and the more you moved, the more the knife ran down the muscles, tearing them apart.

The rain was so loud you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching or the voice that demanded your father to stop.  But you felt it.  The knife was ejected and you felt the weight of your father off your back.  You didn’t stop to see what had happened.  You pushed yourself up to your knees and stumbled; your left wing couldn’t move, throwing you off balance so you staggered forward, trying to find some place to hide but the rain made your visibility almost nonexistent.

A hand, large and firm, grabbed your wrist and without thinking you whirled around, your fist connecting with a nose.  The movement threw you off balance again and you stumbled backwards into someone else, this time their chest.  They tried to straighten you, but again, you raised your fist and swung, but whoever it was had a quicker reflex than the previous person and grabbed your wrist mid air.

“I’m here to help.”  The voice was deep, but elegant.

You tried to pull back, but their grip was too strong.  “Get the fuck away from me,” you growled.

They stepped closer to you and you squinted and as their face came into view you let out a small gasp.

It was Rhysand, the High Lord of the Night Court.

Rhysand, with his arm around you to support your weight, and his male companion took you to the healer and there you sat as the healer promised you that the wing would heal and you would still be able to fly.

The male companion, who you had recognized in the faelight was Cassian, the Court’s General.

“You pack one hell of a punch, sweetheart.”  He laughed and pushed more tissue into his nostrils. 

You had fractured his nose and his face was already starting to bruise.  You should’ve felt bad and apologized, but you didn’t.  You weren’t sorry and in fact you were proud of yourself for leaving marks on every single person who had attacked and put their hands on you today.  

And maybe, just maybe, Cassian should have not grabbed you so aggressively given the situation.

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” Rhysand said from across the room.  He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.  He was pissed and he made no attempt to hide it.  Despite the law forbidding wing clipping, the practice was still widespread amongst the villages.  You were lucky he was visiting that day and that your father was stupid enough to do it while he was there.

You didn’t say anything and you weren’t going to thank him either.  He needed to do a better job at preventing this.

So, you let out a breath of annoyance through your nose and straightened yourself, looking into his violet eyes.  “Thank you for doing what is expected of you, my Lord.”  You drawled out his title, narrowing your eyes at him.  This was the one thing he said he would do and yet almost every female in the village had their wings clipped.

Rhysand’s face flushed and he looked down in shame.

Cassian let out a laugh of surprise earning a glare from Rhysand.  But Cassian didn’t care.  He was in pure awe of you; in awe of the fight you put up, the strength of your punch, and your confidence of chastising the High Lord.  You showed no fear, just rage.

The healer gave you an ointment to put on your wing nightly and sent you home, but as you left you stopped, looking around.  Your father was receiving his punishment along with the other lords and you knew if you went home it would be chaos.  Your mother was gone and you had no other family.  You had no home left.

“I take it you have no other family in Windhaven?”  Rhysand stood next to you, his hands in his pockets.  His gaze was soft, sympathetic, and incredibly apologetic.

You didn’t want to let him see your fear and sadness so you scowled up at him.  “No.”

“I have more than enough room at the House of Wind in Velaris.  You are welcome to have a home there.”  Seeing your apprehension, he quickly continued.  “If you wish of course.  It is the least I can do.”

You grunted.  It was, actually.  And you really did need a place to stay.  You accepted his outstretched hand and he winnowed you away to your new home and your new life.

You lived with Cassian and Azriel in the House of Wind.  They were incredibly kind and good roommates even if they both left their dishes out and never cleaned up after themselves and put their feet up on the coffee table.  Okay, maybe they weren’t the best or the cleanest, but at least they were kind and you enjoyed their company.

Your room was on the opposite side of the House from where their rooms were.  You claimed it was because you wanted your own space, but really it was to avoid another awkward run in with an almost naked Illyrian.

Azriel was your favorite.  He was quiet, kept to himself, and cleaner than Cassian.  Every time he spoke it was with a purpose and you appreciated that.  You hated nonsensical conversations and that’s the one thing you hated about Cassian.  

He had a lot to say about nothing.  He asked stupid questions and never stopped talking; you didn’t think you had ever seen him sit in silence.  He asked you what you did with your day and when you responded with a one word answer he’d ask you for details; he asked about the books you were reading and what they were about and you wouldn’t have minded this had it not been when you were actively reading.

“How was your day today, sweetheart?”  He bounded into the kitchen and you could’ve sworn the walls shook.  He always called you that and it was obnoxious but you could tell in the tone of his voice it meant nothing more than a friendly pet name.

“Nothing.”

“Just nothing?”  He sat across from you.

You were reading yet another novel and was attempting to have a peaceful, quiet lunch.

“Yes,” you huffed your response hoping he would get the hint you wanted to be left alone.

But Cassian was stupidly oblivious.  “What exactly does ‘nothing’ entail?”

“It means I did nothing.”  You looked up and gave him a deadpan stare.  “I read and went to the library.”

He smirked.  “That’s not nothing.”  He chuckled at your frown.  “I love when you make that face.”

“I’m glad I amuse you.”  You looked back down at your book, sighing.

“You do.”  

There was something about his tone and the way he said it that made you look up and he was looking at you with an unreadable expression.  Something like sadness, and maybe longing, flashed in his eyes and for the brief second you tried to decipher it you were struck at how beautiful his eyes were.  They were hazel with more green than brown and if you looked closely enough they had a sheen about them that made them seem alive with mischief.

He quickly composed himself and flashed her a lopsided grin.  “I actually think you’re very funny.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.  “How interesting.”

He eventually left, claiming he was tired and wanted to take a nap but as you read your mind drifted to that look in his eyes.  It cut you inside and you felt an unfamiliar feeling spread in your chest.

Rhysand offered you a place in his Court and his Inner Circle after six months of living there.  He would have asked sooner, but wanted to give you time to settle in and look at him with something other than distaste.

You didn’t hate Rhysand.  You just wished he did a better job at protecting his people.  Wing clipping was cruel and stripped away all autonomy that Illyrian females had, forcing them to rely on the males in their life.  It kept them trapped in an endless cycle of oppression.

You knew it had to be difficult, hell maybe even impossible, to regulate all camps and enforce the law.  You were rational in that thought process and you couldn’t fault him for that; he was trying his best.  But that didn’t mean you couldn’t be angry for yourself and for every female across Illyria.

He made you Cassian’s “Second” despite the fact that you had no formal battle training or knew nothing about how the camps worked outside of the domestic duties of a home.  You hadn’t even been born during the war with Hybern.  You were essentially a glorified assistant with a seemingly important title.  Your job was to accompany Cassian during his visits, or rather inspection, of the camps and check for compliance and the status of the training and would be warriors, and hopefully soon, the integration of females into the training ring.

This, you scoffed at.  If Rhysand couldn’t stop wing clipping then how the hell did he think he would be able to force the camp lords to allow females to train?

You didn't care to ask questions, you were just grateful for a job and something to do.  There was only so much to do at the House and in the city and you were bored.  You had essentially become a librarian with how well you knew the library.

After saying your goodbyes after dinner you were about to fly back to the House when movement to your right caught your eye and Cassian was running after you, a boyish smile lighting up his face.

“Are you excited to be working together?”  He breathlessly asked when he came up to you.

You gave him a sarcastic look and smiled.  “Enthusiastic.”

His smile faltered and for a brief moment you felt bad, but his face lit back up and he grinned at you.  “Well, I think if we’re going to be working together at the camps then you need to learn how to fight.  What do you think?”

You mulled this over for a few seconds and shrugged.  “I was never allowed to, so I’m not going to be any good at it.”

He waved dismissively.  “That’s fine.”  Then he leaned towards you, that stupid grin on his face, and much to your disbelief you found yourself tilting your head up, your faces inches apart.  “I like a challenge.”

His tone was playful but at the same time it wasn’t.  Hidden beneath those four words was a promise.  A promise of what, you couldn’t pinpoint, but the way he said it, his voice raspy and dropping an octave made your heart skip a beat and your breath catch in your throat, a familiar heat rushing through your veins.  He seemed to notice this, his eyes glancing ever so quickly, but slow enough you noticed, between your eyes and lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early at six.”  

Training was fucking awful for both you and Cassian.  You thought too much about your movements, double guessing yourself which resulted in your stumbling and falling or a strike from Cassian.  Wielding a sword and dagger was uncomfortable and felt so unnatural that you had thrown down the ones Cassian gave you a half hour into training.  You preferred hand to hand combat much to Cassian’s dismay.  The more you trained and the stronger you got, so did your punches and kicks and while he tried to hide the bruises, he couldn’t hide the limping to his room after your sessions.

“You need to stop thinking so hard and just trust your gut.”  Cassian told you.  

It was a hot Summer day and the sun was relentless as you sweated under its hot rays.  Cassian had repeated himself at least six times by now and you were getting so frustrated.  He kept coming at you so fast and hard that you didn’t have time to register his movements.  And when he did slow down and gave you some space you spent too much time considering his next move that by the time you decided on how to counter, he had already knocked you down.

“If I trust my gut then I would just throw you off the fucking balcony.”

He laughed loudly and shook his head.  You were brash and quick witted and sometimes he would press your buttons just to hear what insult and remark you'd come up with.  You were incredibly creative with them.

You two had been training for three months at this point and you actually weren’t that bad considering how awful you were in the beginning.  He didn’t mind teaching you how to fight and in fact he knew you enjoyed the routine.  You were always on time and if he looked hard enough he could see a glimmer of excitement in your eyes.  He liked that you always had questions that even followed him out of the ring and he particularly enjoyed the way you sought him when you found something interesting in the countless books he had given you on the art of war and fighting.

You two hadn’t gotten closer so to speak, but you were tolerating his presence a little better than before.  As of recently you didn’t mind his pointless talking and incessant questions.  He had a loud personality but it suited him well; a big personality for a big male.

He was conventionally attractive and on the first day of training when you had entered the training ring, he was already there finishing his warm up shirtless and sweaty.  It had taken your breath away; he wasn’t just good looking, but he was downright sexy.  He was beautifully built with broad shoulders and extremely prominent muscles.  His hair, jet black, touched his shoulders in waves and his skin was a flawless brown that seemed to glow no matter the lighting.  His face was chiseled, resembling a god, and you found yourself admiring it while he was busying himself with preparing whatever he had planned for the day.

You hated that you started to notice all of this and the way it made you feel.  Sometimes he would catch you looking at him, your eyes fierce and aflame with something he couldn’t name.  You didn’t mean to look at him with such discontent, but you were discontented.  He was gorgeous and you liked him.  You liked him a lot.  You liked his childish and crude sense of humor and his contagious laugh.  You liked the way his brow came together when he was concentrating and the way he shifted on his feet when he was thinking.  

Cassian liked you too.  You were gorgeous with thick hair that reached your mid back with cheekbones that were high and round and a slightly pointed chin; your face resembled the shape of a heart.  Your body was unlike anything he had seen before; you had gained a lot of muscle since you had started training and it filled you out in places that he was ashamed to look at.  You had a naturally round body with wide hips and thighs and a slightly slim waist; your chest was big and your shoulders wide.  But his favorite feature were your eyes; they constantly had an analytical look to them like you could see through everything and everyone.  You regarded him with a mixture of interest and indifference and while he couldn’t figure out exactly how you felt about him, he took what he could get and tried his hardest to get and keep your attention.

It was a bit pathetic how hard he tried with you.  He followed you around like a lost, starving dog, and the only time he was fed was when you looked and talked to him.  The conversations were always short and you never cared to entertain him with a discussion that had no end goal or a discussion that wasn’t started by you.  You were selfish in that way but he would take what he could get.  Which really wasn’t a lot but he didn’t mind.

You both never forgot that night on the front lawn of Rhysand’s townhouse.  Cassian thought of the way your eyes widened and you leaned into him ever so slightly when he did the same and the way your lips, full and slightly pink, parted when he spoke.  You also thought of the way Cassian had smiled at you, a mix of joy and seduction, and his eyes, usually a light hazel, were a dark amber that seemed to see your soul in ways that made you want to hide.  In your darkest moments you thought of his voice and his breath fanning your face and the way he said those four words made your knees wobbly and you gut tightened.

Cassian didn’t just mean it in the sense that it would be difficult to train you given your inexperience but also in the sense that he knew you would be difficult to get to know.  He also knew it would be a challenge to get you to like him, both platonically and romantically.  Whether you consciously knew it, you were guarded and armed to the teeth with walls so thick nobody had yet to learn anything about you.  You chose your words carefully, but not your facial expressions.  You were quick to let Cassian know in little and polite words that you didn’t care about what he was talking about, but your face said you would rather bang your head on the table than hear him speak about the bird that took a shit on his wing as he flew to meet Rhysand and Azriel.  

“No training tomorrow,” Cassian told you as you walked out of the ring.

You had a better session today ending with you only falling once and Cassian dodging all of your jabs.

“Oh.”

Cassian could’ve sworn you sounded disappointed.

“Why?”  You finally asked halfway up the steps to the House.

“I have an assignment in Windhaven.”

You stopped on the steps and he turned to look at you.  Your eyes were sharp as they narrowed on him and he suddenly felt very naked under your stare.  He could see the gears turning in your head as you took in the information.

“Shouldn’t I be going with you?”  You finally asked after a few seconds.

It was his turn to give you a look, cocking his head to the side.  “If you want to, I guess.”

You resumed your walk up the steps, brushing past his arm and he sucked in a breath at the contact.  “Well, I think I have the right to go given we are supposed to be working together.  Right?”

“That is very true, sweetheart.”

“Yes I know.  That’s why I said it.”  A few moments passed before you spoke again.  “Why didn’t you ask me?”  Your voice was soft as you two walked into the kitchen.

He stopped in the doorway and watched as you grabbed two cups from the cupboard and filled them with water.

“I didn’t think you’d want to go.  It wasn’t anything personal, I promise.”

You hummed and leaned against the counter.  “I know it wasn’t; you’re not that kind of person.  But,” you raise your eyes to him, “it would have been nice to be asked.  I have a job here too.”

You’re not that kind of person.  The statement took his breath away and you tried to figure out why he was looking at you so bewildered.

“I’m sorry,” he gave you a soft smile and lowered his head.  His face shifted and his eyes grew mischievous and his smile turned into a grin.  His stance relaxed and he crossed one foot over the other.  “If I didn’t know any better, sweetheart, I would think you wanted to spend time with me.”

You scowled and he reveled in the way your face contorted when he annoyed you.  And you did it often.

“Well, it’s a good thing you do.”

You two left early in the morning before the sun had risen and flew in silence to the camp.  You loved flying, especially so early in the morning; the world was so quiet and peaceful and the only life around were the birds who let you fly so close to them you could see your reflection in their eyes.

You never truly felt at peace for some reason.  Your body was always wounded up with stress and anxiety and the anticipation of whatever the day was going to bring, but when you were in the sky nothing mattered but the sun on your face and the wind whispering in your ears.

Cassian could see how relaxed you were.  A smile ghosted your features and it was probably one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen.  He was looking at you so intensely that he didn’t notice he was leaning towards you until he bumped your wing with his.  

You snapped out of your trance and side eyed him and he chuckled.  “Sorry.”

You rolled your eyes.  “First time flying?”

He blushed and bit his lip.  No, he wanted to say, just looking at the most beautiful thing in the world.  But he didn’t.  Instead, he just straightened himself and led the way.

After another two hours of flying you two landed on the doorstep of Rhysand mother’s house.

“After you,” Cassian held the door open and you walked in.

It was an appropriate size with a living room and two rooms to the left and a kitchen to the right and a set of worn stairs in front of you.  A fire was already going in the hearth and it left a warm glow on the furniture and walls.

The size of the house suddenly shrunk as Cassian walked in.  His hair grazed the ceiling and he had to turn sideways to get through the door frame.  It was a comical scene and to his surprise you laughed, your head tilting back and your eyes squeezing shut.  He stilled, his hand still on the doorknob.  You looked stunning.

“What is so funny?”  Cassian shut the door and leaned against it.

“You look ridiculous.  You are too big for this house.”  You bit your lip and clasped your hands together, trying but failing to suppress another laugh.

“And that’s funny to you?”  He raised an eyebrow.

“No,” your face stilled and you grew serious, standing straighter and brushing your hair over your shoulder.  But it quickly dissolved as you let out a snort and covered your mouth, turning away.

He did look insane in this house and you weren’t sure why you found it so funny.  You were aware he was freakishly tall and built like a bull, but the House of Wind was so big it made him look an average size.  But here, in this normal sized cottage for normal sized people, he looked so out of place and his indifference to it all was hilarious.

“I’m glad my vertical condition amuses you, sweetheart.”  He brushed past you taking your bag to your room and to your shock he took his bag to the room next to yours.

“Our rooms are next to each other?”

And without looking at you, Cassian said, “yeah so be careful bringing anyone over; the walls are so thin.”

You hadn’t seen your father since you had moved to Velaris and you were glad for it.  You never liked him; he was mean and cruel and had driven your mother to madness and eventually her death.  You had never forgiven him for that or any of his misdeeds for that matter.  Sometimes you fantasized about his death and how much relief you would feel knowing he was burning in hell, paying for his sins.

You sat across from him during the meeting with the camp lords.  You wore traditional fighting leathers and like Cassian you had a sword strapped to your back.  In reality you didn’t know how to use it or how to fight, really, but appearances mattered with males who thought they were better than everyone and it mattered to you for them to know just how good you were doing.

Your father’s stare was overbearing as he took in your clothes and weapons and the hard set look in your eyes.  You looked just like your mother and he hated that.

“We are just here to oversee the training of the warriors and your preparations for the Blood Rite.”  Cassian had an easy going, but threatening smile.

He knew these people hated him.  They hated that he was a bastard; they hated how powerful he was; and they hated that he was above them, giving them orders and commands.

Devlon frowned at Cassian.  “We have 200 warriors.  They train from dawn to dusk.  And nearly all of them have qualified for the Rite.  What else is there to see?”

Cassian shrugged, rubbing his siphons.  The red glow was enchanting and intimidating.  “The specifics of our visit are on a need to know basis; I hope you understand.”  His smile was sent a chill up her spine.

Devlon’s frown grew but he knew better than to argue.  “Fine,” he sighed and waved his hand in a dismissive nature.  “Just don’t bother them while they train.”

And with that the group disbanded.  You got up along with Cassian and nodded to everyone.  They didn’t bother to look you in the eye or say goodbye as they left, but you kept your head high and your hands folded in front of you.  This made you appear strong, but in reality you were hiding your shaking hands.

When they all left you let out a shaky breath and cleared your throat, sitting back down in your chair.  You wrapped your wings around your shoulders, cocooning yourself within them.

“You okay?”  Cassian’s voice was soft and he placed a hand in between your shoulder blades.

His touch was warm and soft despite the calluses on his hands and you found yourself wanting to lean into it and maybe even ask for more.  Instead you moved away from it and cleared your throat, tucking your wings in and standing up.  

Facing him, you gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded.  “Of course.”

You two strolled through the camp after the meeting.  You weren’t really here to oversee the training, but to see about properly implementing the law banning wing clipping.  Since you had left, nobody else had been subjected to that abuse but it was only a matter of time that someone did it, causing a domino effect and it would come back in full swing.

You had only been here a day and you already wanted to leave.  It was dull and sad here and looking up at the sky you couldn’t help but let out a groan.  You missed the sun in Velaris; in Windhaven the sky was always gray and dark like this place was destined to be constantly punished by the gods.

“That bad huh?”  Cassian had noticed that you had not smiled once or chastised him for being annoying since arriving.  You weren’t sure which one concerned him the most.

“It just sucks here.”  The response was juvenile and it made him smile.

“I hate it too.”

You knew of Cassian the warrior, but nothing else except for what you saw at the House.  And it hit you in that moment you had never thought to ask and it made you stop in your tracks and you pushed out your bottom lip and squinted up at him.  “Why?”

The question threw Cassian off.  You had never asked him anything about his personal life.

“Bad memories.”  He shrugged.  “I lost my mother young and was tossed here having to beg for scraps.”  He had a far away look in his eyes and your heart lurched in your chest.

“I’m sorry,” and you meant it.

By the fifth day of the “mission,” you two had come to the conclusion that trusting the camp lords to enforce the ban was futile and that a permanent position in overseeing it was necessary.  You had known that from the start and reminded Cassian of such with a sarcastic, “I told you so.”

Cassian was writing out his report for Rhysand and you were laid out on the couch, a book in your hands.  He had made little to no progress on completing it; he kept getting distracted by you.

You were laying on your stomach with your head propped up with one hand and the other cradling the book and your leg hiked up, making your backside more prominent than it already was.  It was a crazy sight and his head was dizzy every time he beheld you.  You were completely enthralled in your book that you did not notice how tightly he was gripping the papers in his hand or the way his knee bounced furiously and the way he shifted ever so slightly in his seat.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how soft your skin would be beneath his hands or the way you would react to his touch, your back arching slightly and your breath coming out in soft pants.  You were playing with your lip as you read and he admired their color and fullness and then he pondered how they would feel against his and how you would taste as he swallowed your moans.  He could picture it clear as day and it scared him slightly how vivid and real you existed in his mind.  Cassian was so trapped in his thoughts that he didn’t hear you calling out to him or hear you walk up to him.

He jerked when you touched his shoulders and you saw how crazed his eyes looked, wide and his pupils blown, drowning out the green and leaving gold in its wake.  

“You okay?”  You asked, your brow furrowed together in concern.

He had been so quiet all night and it worried you.  He was usually talkative and aggravating but he hadn’t said a word since you two settled in the living room.  He was staring at the papers but it was like he was seeing through them and his leg was bouncing a mile a minute.  You worried you had upset him by asking about his past and you thought of apologizing but you didn’t want to bring it up again and upset him even more.

So instead you opted to leave it to him to tell you if something was wrong.

Your hand was still on Cassian’s shoulder and your face was so close that your hair tickled his arm and he sucked in a deep breath and your scent filled his senses, making his nostrils flare.  You smelled like lavender mixed with pine.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, placing the papers on his lap and prayed that it concealed his erection.

He leaned away slightly, hoping that some distance would calm his nerves and you noticed it, feeling your heart sink.

You jutted your bottom lip out slightly and exhaled through your nose, straightening but keeping your hand on his shoulder.  “Okay.  I was just checking.”

Your eyes locked with his and he still had a look that was a mixture of disbelief and fear and it made you look at him even harder and you found yourself leaning, invading his space again.

Cassian stilled so much he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing anymore.  His skin felt so tight and his pants even more so.  He could feel his blood pump through his veins and his heart was shuddering with every beat.  You were so, so close that it sent an irrational fear through him; anything could happen right now and a million scenarios ran through his mind, all of them including you and him kissing and what happened after that varied.

Leave him be.  Back up.  Go to bed.  The thoughts were so loud but you didn’t move.  You were entirely entranced by his gaze and you were rooted in place.  He smelled like the aftermath of a forest fire, the air thick with smoke clouding your vision and making its home in your lungs.  You felt like you were in a haze of him and you couldn’t find your way out and honestly, you didn’t want to.  It was comfortable and warm and oddly safe.

You barely heard yourself over the roar in your ears as you asked Cassian once again if he was okay, but you definitely heard the way he rasped out his response.  It was a stangled “yes” and your entire body grew hot, so much so your vision tunneled and you could only see him.

His response wasn’t just a direct answer to your question.  It was a response to the unspoken questions floating between you two and he hoped you had understood that.  It was also a plea, a one word beg for you to close the distance and let him lose himself in you.  He didn’t just want it, but he needed it.  He had this ache in his chest since the day he met you that no amount of times he thought about you while he pumped himself into oblivion could quell it.  He begged Rhysand to give you a position that would keep you close to him and you didn’t need to train in order to work with him but he made up that excuse so he could spend even more time with you.  And it was worth it even if you gave him a blank stare when he said something ridiculous or when you snapped at him for bothering you.

And this closeness was only making it worse.  You were so close but so far and he didn’t want to do something that made you uncomfortable and shatter whatever you felt for him, if you did at all.  So he stayed where he was, letting you make the decision, praying it was the one where you kissed him.

But to his utter disappointment, you released the grip on his shoulder and pulled away, giving him a pained smile.

“Okay.”  You exhaled, expelling the thoughts and feelings and his scent from your body and mind.  “Goodnight, Cassian.”  And as you walked to your room, leaving him reeling from this three minute encounter, you turned and gave him another smile.  “If you need to talk just let me know.”  

He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and felt like he was being stabbed.  “Of course.  You too.”

Neither of you slept that night.  

He spent an hour in the bathroom, making himself finish three times and even then he couldn’t get his erection to go away.  You had stood so close to him that he could see the brown that flickered in your eyes and every pore on your face and even now he could smell you on him, like it was clinging to his skin, taunting him.

You didn’t rest either.  The bed was uncomfortable and the room was too hot and the blankets made you itch.  You couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes and the way his lips were parted just enough you could imagine your tongue snaking its way in, claiming it.  If you allowed the thought to fester, which you did, you could see yourself moving against and feel his arms around your waist helping you reach your climax and you could also see his eyes, with their pupils blown, staring into yours, encouraging you.  

You made the fantasy stop there.  This was ridiculous.  You were being ridiculous.  You couldn’t say why or rationally curse yourself for these thoughts and feelings, but this was wrong and just couldn’t happen.  

It was unrealistic anyway, really.  Cassian had lived a life you couldn’t even begin to fathom and though he could act like he knew nothing, he actually knew a lot.  He always had an answer to your questions and could go on and on about the endless strategic tactics used when fighting.  You could listen to him all day if you could.

You were a camp lord’s daughter from a village that hated the existence of your gender.  Your education had been cut short and you were forced to teach yourself basic arithmetic and reading beyond a grade school level.  Your dreams were crushed beneath your father’s boot and any flame of ambition was snuffed out and replaced with patriarchal propaganda.  You were a nobody wanting a somebody.

You two were complete opposites but were the same in your insecurity: thinking you weren’t enough for each other.

The tension between you and Cassian was so thick that Azriel started to sleep at Rhysand’s townhouse.

You and Cassian still had your morning training sessions but you both pulled your punches and kept your distance which ruined the point of training.

You were avoiding him, too.  He still looked for you during breakfast and lunch and made unformatable small talk.  You couldn’t bear it and after a few days you started taking your food in your room.

You did want to be around him and hear whatever nonsense came out of his mouth and his pointless questions because you had a gripe with how you felt about him.  You felt stupid with the way your mind became foggy when he was near and how you stared at him when he wasn’t looking and most of all how your body came alive when you saw him.  It was embarrassing and you hoped by spending less time with him it would go away.

You hated crushes.  They were childish and pointless especially when pining after someone like Cassian.  You knew so many people wanted him and it was evident the few times you had gone to the city with him.  Females and even some males were shameless in the way their eyes trailed his body and the way they openly flirted with him when they stopped him in the streets.  You never felt jealous about this because you completely understood the appeal but you knew with how many people he could choose to be with, you wouldn’t be the one he wanted.

Cassian noticed the way you would scurry away when he came into the room and stiffened when he spoke to you and it broke his heart.  It aggravated him to degrees he didn’t think was possible.  You had no reason to avoid him unless you were put off by the night in the cottage and you didn’t like him anymore, if you ever did.  Maybe you were tired of being around him and the way you seemed to detest his presence prior was real and you finally got sick of it.  He wasn’t sure but he missed you in a way that was foreign to him; he missed your scowl and raised eyebrow that said ‘are you fucking serious?’  He also missed the way you would curl up on the couch, with your feet tucked in underneath you, and smile at whatever you were reading, holding your lip between your fingers.  But he especially missed your eyes and how they saw him.  You saw him in a way that was entirely too personal despite you never asking him a question; it was like you could see every single thing about him and sometimes he could see a glimmer of acceptance dancing in them.

He thought about that night in Windhaven and the way you looked at him with concern and a hint of need.  The scent of your arousal that night mixed in with your natural scent followed him wherever he went.  He would smell it at the most random moments and he was ashamed to admit that it caused a physical reaction that left him biting his lip and stifling his moans and no matter how often came, your name falling from his lips, the craving for you never ceased.  It was driving him crazy.  He had never felt like this before and he knew that even if he had you, it still wouldn’t be enough.  He had the idea that he would never not need and want you.

You had been eating a snack in the kitchen when Cassian sauntered in.  He had seen you when he had walked past and decided to essentially trap you so he could get just a few minutes of conversation.  He missed your voice.

You didn’t hear him come in but you felt his presence immediately.  It was powerful and filled the room and seeped into your pores, making you flush with heat.  Your body tensed at it and you glanced up and he was already looking at you, that stupid grin on his face.

“Hey.”  It was a greeting but a dismissive one as you looked back down at your book.

“Hello.”  

You could hear the smile and joy in your voice and you just knew he was going to bother you despite seeing you preoccupied.  You closed your eyes and inhaled through your nose waiting for the avalanche of bullshit that was going to spew from his mouth.

From the corner of your eyes you could see him brace against the counter and scan you.  Your body tensed even more.

After a few seconds Cassian sucked in a breath and bit the bullet.  “Why are you avoiding me?”

The question was unexpected and you looked up at him and frowned.  “I’m not avoiding you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No.  I am not.”  You punctuated each word hoping he would understand those simple, yet clear, four words.

“You are,” and before the scowl could take root in your face he added, “we don’t hang out anymore.”

“We never did to begin with.”

“Fine, you don’t let me hang out with you.”  Now that was more accurate.

You shrugged.  “I’ve been busy.”

“Doing what?  Walking the house and the city and reading?”  His words were dripping with annoyance and sarcasm.

“What I do is none of your concern, Cassian.”

He made a noncommittal noise and sighed through his nose.  You noticed the way his shoulders sagged slightly and he took his cheek in between his teeth.  “You don’t want to be around me anymore.”

You scoffed.  What the fuck?  “You’re being absurd.”

“Fine, then let’s hang out.  We can go to the city.”

You gave him a blank stare and looked back down at your book.  “I’m busy.”

“You’re eating crackers and reading.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose.  This was stupid.  He was being stupid.  “This is being busy for me.”  You gestured to your book and before he could counter you added, “and frankly, Cassian, if you’re taking this personally that’s just not my problem.  If you think I’m avoiding you, then maybe, you should take the fucking hint.”  Your eyes were hard as they stared into him with such conviction he stepped back even further into the kitchen counter.

He made a small noise that you could only discern as shock and a little bit of anguish, but it was quickly replaced with narrowing eyes and a set jaw.  “You’re a fucking bitch.”

This made you roar with laughter and you got up, pushing your chair back behind you.  “Excuse me?  What the fuck is your problem?”

“I try to be nice and do you a favor and be your friend and you act like it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world!”  He didn’t mean to get loud with you but he was so tired of being rejected.

“Do me a favor?”  You took a step forward.  “I never asked.  You did that on your own.  And have you considered that maybe I don’t care to be more than your roommate?  Have you considered that maybe it’s not all about you?”

He matched the distance you took towards him.  “And why is that, sweetheart?”

Because I like you.  Because whenever I’m with you I feel like I can’t breathe.  Because I want you so much I feel like my body is going to explode.

But you didn’t say that.  It was too beneath you to be that pathetic over a male.  “Because I don’t care about you.”

This stung Cassian, bad.  And Azriel and Rhysand, who had been eavesdropping, grimaced at the blow.

Cassian cleared his throat and he felt tears starting to sting his eyes.  “Well, sweetheart, that is not very nice is it?”

It wasn’t and it wasn’t the truth but the actual truth would make it too real.  You had been pining for him for months and if you said it, confronted it, spoke it into existence, and he rejected you then…you didn’t even want to consider the aftermath.  You hated the feeling of falling because you knew sooner or later you knew you would crash and hit the ground.

“I’m sorry the truth hurts, Cassian.”

Cassian took another step towards you and he was so close your chests were touching and you had to tilt your head up to look at him.

“You don’t mean that.”

You let out a breathless laugh.  “I just said it, so yeah, I mean it.”

“You don’t.”

“By the cauldron, Cassian,” you hissed and his eyes widened slightly.  “I don’t owe you shit.  So, do me a favor and fuck off.”  You turned to leave and he grabbed your wrist.

He scowled and sucked his teeth.  “You’re a fucking coward, you know that?”

You made a face, a ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ face, and it made Cassian smirk.  He loved it when you did that.

“Look me in the eyes and say that shit.”  

The demand startled you.  Not because of what he said, but because of how he said it.  Full of anger and rage and a slight twinge of despair.  His eyes were hard and dark as they bore into your soul and you sucked in a breath.  You knew he was seeing right through you and through the lies that were falling from your lips.

And it was true.  You hadn’t looked at him every time you took a jab at him.  Instead you opted to look around his face or close your eyes in feign annoyance.  This would be your downfall because the longer you looked into his eyes the more you felt like you were drowning, being pulled under and covered in the green and gold and brown that swirled in them.

“I said what I said so deal with it and leave me alone.”

He tightened his grip on you and took another step towards you and you were acutely aware of how close you two were.  One move and he would consume you.

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Why?  Because you don’t mean it?”

Yes.

“No, because I’ve already said it and I don’t want to repeat myself.”

He snorted.  “You’re impossible.”  He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and you followed the movement.

You two stood in silence for a few seconds and he saw your expression shift from one of annoyance to longing as you said, barely above a whisper, “if I did,” you cleared your throat and straightened yourself, “it wouldn’t even matter.”  You meant for your voice to sound strong and defiant but instead it came out broken and hopeless.

He matched your volume and his eyes turned soft, the brown taking over.  “It would.”

You popped your hip out and made a face that said ‘you’re joking, please be serious, and leave me alone.’  He smiled and took his lip in between his teeth.  Gods, he loved the faces you made.  So real, and transparent, and comical, and expressive.  You could say nothing but it all would be said in the ways your eyes narrowed, your eyebrows raised, and the downturn of your lips.

“It would matter a lot because unlike you I wouldn’t lie about how I feel about you.”

You didn’t say anything but you squinted your eyes and tilted your head, once again silently asking, what the fuck are you talking about?

“So, tell me the truth.”

You narrowed your eyes and huffed, stomping your foot.  “You know Cassian you are the most obnoxious and annoying person I have ever-” you weren’t able to finish your sentence because Cassian cupped your face and crashed his lips into yours.

It was the most exhilarating feeling in the entire world.  His hands, so big and warm and confident in their hold of you, made you melt and the sensation of his mouth working against yours made you see stars.  You stumbled with the force and failed your arms slightly to steady yourself, but Cassian removed one hand and grabbed your wrist again, placing it on your chest and you gripped his shirt and threw your other arm around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair.

You pushed yourself on to your toes in an attempt to get closer to him and with a small groan he arched his body down against yours and tilted his head, deepening the kiss.  You matched the way his mouth feverishly overtook yours and it wasn’t long after that he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip asking, no begging, for entrance and you allowed it, moaning as he explored and tasted you.

This was exactly how he imagined you would feel, sound, and taste.  This was even better than what his imagination had conjured up these past few months.  You were soft beneath his grasp and you moved your body as his hands trailed down your back and under your shirt, gripping your waist.  The sounds you made were small and quiet but they vibrated his body and his pants grew tighter and tighter and he feared that if you pressed yourself into him more he would come undone.

You had thought about this moment for so long, too and the reality was so much better.  His stubble scratched your chin and his hands engulfed your frame and his tongue dominated your mouth.  You wanted to be entirely consumed by him and he was doing just that and it was like the heavens had come to you.  Your hands roamed around his chest and shoulders and hair; he was firm and his skin tight as you explored his body and you ached to know every muscle and crevice, every scar and expanse of skin.  You yearned to know him and you didn’t think this level of need was possible but here you were, silently, mentally begging for him to take you and reach for the stars.

He pulled away and you followed him with your mouth, a small whimper leaving your lips.  Your eyes were still closed, reeling from his touch.  Cassian’s eyes were still closed too as he brushed his lips over yours and brushed his nose on the tip of yours.  You two were panting, your breaths heavy and moving in synchrony.

A small smirk spread across his face as he brushed his lips against yours again and you tilted your head, trying to capture them in another searing kiss.

“Tell me again,” he kissed you.  “Tell me you don’t like me.”  Another kiss.  “Tell me you don’t care about me.”  Another kiss.  “Tell me you don’t want me.”

You wouldn’t because it wasn’t true.  It was never true.  Yes he was annoying and sometimes you detested his presence but at the end of the day he was fun and kind and made it a point to include you in everything he or the Inner Court did.  You secretly did like when you asked about your day or what you liked to do.  Nobody had ever been interested in you back home; how you felt and what you wanted was of no concern to anybody.  All that mattered to your father was that the house was picked up, the laundry was done, and the dishes were clean.  It felt amazing to be noticed even if Cassian was overbearing with his interest in you.

“I can’t,” was all you said.  It was true.  You couldn’t lie anymore.  You liked him, you cared about him, and you wanted him.

“Good.”  Another kiss; this one was hot and long, making you both moan, leaving you dizzy and throbbing with desire.  

“Because I don’t just want you, sweetheart.  I need you.”

[surielstea]

The Taste of Heaven

Kinktober day 5: Face riding + Impact

Pairing: Cassian x Fem!Reader

Summary: Cassian missed his mate, enough said.

Warnings: 18+ | minors dni | oral (f receiving) | face riding | spanking/impact play | smut | overstim | controlled orgasm | clit play | multi orgasm

2.1k words.

"Gods, I missed you so much sweetheart," Cassian confessed into my open mouth as my hips winded over his.

He had been gone, sent on a mission in Illyria for over two weeks. Over two weeks without my mate, without his warm laughter, without his wicked tongue that nothing could ever hope to replicate.

"Missed you more," I mumble, kissing him harder, needing him in my very bones in a sense, wanting him more than just inside of me but a part of me until I didn't know where he ended and where I began. "Please," I whisper.

"Please what? What can I do for you?" He asked, kissing sloppily down my jaw, my neck that he was already leaving marks on.

I didn't know how to answer his question, because in all honesty, I was unsure what I was pleading for, I only knew that I wanted more, so instead I breathed, "Whatever you want."

He smiled at that, his lips popping from the delicate skin of my neck. "Sit on my face," He ordered and my core tightened into knots, the kind impossible to untangle. I pulled away from his touch, breathing heavily as I pushed him down onto the bed and rid myself of my panties quicker than he could process.

He throws his head back in pure ecstasy as he watches my movements, his hands on my—now bare, hips and gripping me roughly, pulling me closer to his mouth. "So perfect," He raggedly whispered, his tone consumed with need. He stared at me like a starved man, and I was a full-course meal laid out in front of him.

I crawled up closer, now hovering over his parted lips. He impatiently attempted to pull me down but I resisted, holding myself up. "Please," He whispered, desperate to taste, to lick, to consume.

"Too heavy," I shake my head, and if it weren't for his dire need for me he might've scoffed a laugh, but instead it was a low growl that came from him. "Sit, now," He demanded and something feral burned bright in the dark pit of my stomach at his order.

"I might suffocate you," I continue to protest, despite my arousal now dripping down my thighs— much to his notice.

"Then I'll die a happy man, now sit or I'll make you," He gritted out, his hazel eyes filled with lust and desire and every needy emotion in between. I suck in a sharp breath and ever so slowly, lower myself.

He grows bored of my hesitance and pushes me the rest of the way down with his outmatched strength, and the moment his tongue meets my throbbing cunt, I lose all defiance and melt.

A moan tore from my throat, my head falling back as the heat of his mouth enveloped me completely. His tongue swirled and flicked against my swollen clit with practiced precision, and I couldn't stop the way my hips instinctively ground down onto his face. Cassian groaned beneath me, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my hips as if trying to anchor me there. He worked me with fervor, relentless in his need to bring me pleasure, every sound he made sending vibrations through my core.

I tried to lift myself, worried again about the weight I was putting on him, but one of his large hands came down sharply on my thigh—once, twice. The sting was immediate, sharp, and hot, sending a jolt straight to my center.

"Stay," he growled against me, his voice muffled by my thighs but commanding nonetheless. The roughness of his voice paired with the sharp bite of pain made me dizzy with need. "I don't want you anywhere else."

I whimpered, my legs trembling as I sank down fully onto him and gave in to his demand. His tongue darted between my folds, circling my clit before sucking it, hard. My entire body jerked in response, and I had to grab the headboard in front of me to steady myself.

"Cassian—" I gasped, but it was cut off by the sting of his hand on my ass this time, the impact making me grind down harder. The burn was exquisite, each smack pushing me closer to the edge, making my arousal pool between my thighs, into his wanting mouth.

“Fuck,” He grunted lustfully, almost feral, and I felt his hands squeeze the abused skin where he'd struck, soothing and rough at once. His mouth never slowed, and I could barely think, barely breathe.

My nails dug into the wood of the headboard, providing me leverage while I arched my back, while he thoroughly devoured me. He responded with another slap, harder this time, and I yelped, the sound turning into a needy moan as pleasure and pain mixed in a heady cocktail that left me trembling above him. I was coming undone, piece by piece, and Cassian reveled in it.

"Cass, I'm—" I panted, the pressure building low in my stomach, tightening with every flick of his tongue and every punishing smack of his palm against my skin. "I'm so close."

His fingers dug into my hips again, pulling me down as he licked at me, each stroke more fervent, more determined. I couldn't hold back any longer, the orgasm barreling through me as I cried out his name, my body shuddering with the force of it. I ground down on his face, riding out the waves of pleasure as his tongue continued to work me, drawing every last bit from me.

But he didn't stop. Even as I told him too much, even as I whimpered and pleaded that I couldn’t take anymore, he kept going.

His tongue lapped at me with an insatiable hunger. He groaned into me, as though drunk on my taste, his hands squeezing my hips hard enough to leave bruises as he pulled me down harder onto his mouth. I gasped, trying to pull away, but his grip only tightened.

"Gods—" I breathed, squirming as the pleasure became too much. The overstimulation was unbearable, my body twitching from the onslaught. I tried to lift myself off him, my hands pushing against his chest, but he was far too strong. He growled again, his hand coming down hard on my ass, a sharp crack that made me cry out in surprise.

"Where do you think you're going?" he growled, the sound muffled by my thighs. "You're going to give me more."

The sting of his hand and the way his tongue continued to tease me made my breath hitch, my body spasming as he forced me to endure the overstimulation. My legs shook uncontrollably, but he held me in place, not giving me a chance to escape his tongue.

"Please, I—" I gasped, but before I could finish, his hand landed another punishing slap on my thigh. The pain mixed with the lingering pleasure, leaving me dizzy, and my thoughts hazy.

"You can take it," he murmured, his voice rough and low as he licked up my arousal, savoring every drop. "Give me another one."

My body thrashed as he worked me again, his tongue never slowing. I was completely at his mercy, his hands bruising my hips as he dragged me through the endless, torturous pleasure. My overstimulated nerves made everything feel sharper, and brighter, every flick of his tongue sending me spiraling further. I was crying out, shaking, barely able to breathe as another orgasm crept up on me, quick and unexpected.

When it hit, I couldn't hold back the scream. My body convulsed on top of him, and this time, I sobbed his name as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through me, my vision going white.

Only then did he slow, his tongue still teasing, still tasting, but gentler now, drawing out every last tremor of pleasure as I trembled above him. His hands rubbed soothing circles onto my thighs, the stinging sensation fading into a pleasant hum as I slowly came down from the overwhelming high.

When I finally managed to pull away, collapsing beside him on the bed, I could barely form a coherent thought. Cassian's face was still slick with my release, his hazel eyes dark with lust as he leaned down to kiss me, possessive and tender all at once.

"You taste like heaven," he murmured against my lips, his voice hoarse with desire. "Gods, I missed you." He repeated as if remembering how much he cherished the sweet feeling of me finding arrival on his tongue alone. His hand came down, caressing so softly where he had struck me, soothing the lingering burn with his calloused fingertips. "Did I hurt you? Was it too much?" He asked softly, his voice a little more raw than I had anticipated.

I smiled and shook my head, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck and pulling him impossibly closer. "No, no it felt good, all of it felt good," I reassured and his worried frown turned into a feline grin faster than I could blink.

"Come here," he whispered, his voice low and calming. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into the broad expanse of his chest. For a long moment, he simply held me there, his heart beating steadily beneath my cheek, a contrast to the wild thudding of just moments ago.

He shifted us carefully, rolling me onto my back with him still hovering above. "Let me take care of you, sweetheart," he murmured. His thumb brushed my cheek as his lips pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

He slipped out of the bed for a moment, and I heard the rustle of fabric as he grabbed a towel from the adjacent bathing chambers and my softest nightgown from my armoire in the corner. He returned swiftly, his large, warm hands moving carefully as he cleaned me up, his touch so gentle it sent a subtle shiver down my spine. There was nothing hurried about his movements, nothing rushed. He took his time, his expression softening as he wiped away the evidence of our passion. The silence between us wasn't awkward; it was full of care, full of unspoken understanding.

When he was done, he tossed the towel aside and slid my chiffon nightgown on. He smiled amusedly as I struggled to push my head through the neckline, my hair a mess as he helped me pull it down fully. "There," He whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "I'm so in love with you," He confessed and I flushed a deep tint, despite the fact that we've been mates for centuries, it was the earnest and genuine tone of his words that still had butterflies soaring in the pit of my stomach.

I couldn't conjure a reply in time before he was getting back into bed with me, pulling the covers up and over the both of us. He gathered me against him, cradling me to his chest once more, his hands running lazily up and down my spine in soothing strokes.

"You're sure you're okay, right?" Cassian asked quietly, his voice filled with sincere concern.

"I'm perfect," I whispered back, feeling the weight of exhaustion begin to settle in.

He tilted my chin up, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips. "You're perfect," he confirmed, his words brimming with admiration. His hand returned to rubbing my back, the repetitive motion lulling me into relaxation. "Let me know if anything feels sore tomorrow. I can rub it out for you," he added with a teasing grin, though the warmth in his voice remained.

I chuckled, nestling deeper into his hold. "Sounds wonderful," I murmured, my voice fading with sleep creeping in.

He shifted us one last time, pulling me more comfortably against him, our limbs tangled beneath the blankets. His fingers threaded through my hair, massaging my scalp with that same tender care, and it made my eyes flutter shut, a contented sigh escaping my lips.

"I missed you so much, sweetheart," he whispered again, his voice softer, more vulnerable in the quiet after the storm of our passion. "Every day without you was torture."

I smiled against his muscled chest, my fingers drawing lazy circles on his tattooed skin. "I missed you too," I mumbled sleepily, my words drifting off mid-sentence.

His arms tightened around me protectively, his lips pressing another soft kiss to the crown of my head. "Rest now," he whispered, his voice soothing. "I'm not going anywhere."

With Cassian's warmth surrounding me, his steady heartbeat beneath my ear, and the lingering tenderness in his touch, I finally let myself drift off, safe and cherished in the arms of my mate.

Comment or reblog with a “💋” to be added to the kinktober taglist!

Kinktober Taglist: @a-courtof-azriel @rosecobollway @bookwormysblog @whataenginerd @sassyangel16 @lorosette @92404-blog1 @skittslackoffilter @scorpioriesling @pey2618 @scarsandallaz @azysmate @iluvyewman-blog @obliviouslittleminx @hailqueenconquer @buckysfavoritedoll @fourthwing4ever @julesvanslutta @hannzoasks @hallabongy

General Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glitterypirateduck @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @fauxdette @going-through-shit @glam-targaryen @hufflepuff-pa55 @sarawritestories @tele86 @azriels-shadowsinger @stinkinstuffie @sandramalikstyles-blog @sassyangel16 @lilah-asteria @starsinyourseyes @inloveallthetime @melsunshine @nighttimemoonlover @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @cumuluscranium @adharanotfound @azrielsmate3 @aelincaddel @hiddlestonspassionsackx @dee-writes-smut @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @pit-and-the-pen @mybestfriendmademe @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @circe143 @bubybubsters @joshysloshy @username199945 @ivy-34 @notsarareallynot

[qu1cks1lversb1tch]

☆ Silver's Sinful Sunday ☆

Week Four: Azriel

Warnings: 18+ [MDNI], enemies with benefits (mates), fem reader, choking, p in v, reader is kinda a brat, dominant Azriel, no use of Y/N, pet names, slight angst at the end, it's my writing — that's a warning within itself (cringe), all actions are with consent ofc

A/N— Week four was originally Vox (Hazbin Hotel). Refer to this post for the reason why it's not. Azriel was intended to be week five, but he's been moved to week four. The style for this one is also a little different than the others. . . Oopsies. . . Your honor, they're actually in love with each other but they're idiots. . .

Word Count: 2.8K

“Let me in.”

The words sent a shiver down your spine despite the massive argument the two of you had been in less than an hour ago. It was over something so petty that you didn't even remember what it was about, but you were still heated over it.

The anger simmered just beneath the surface, a feeling only he could evoke. It both drove you wild and pissed you off at the exact same time. 

“I know you're in there. Let me in.”

After every argument, Azriel found his way to your door. After every argument, it always ended the same way. There were never apologies. Apologies didn't exist between the two of you. The thought of one alone was highly amusing.

You reached the door with a scowl, twisting the brassy colored knob in your firm grasp. The door swung open, revealing the very male you knew it'd be.

His gaze roamed unabashedly over your form. From your hair to the silken midnight blue nightgown that hugged your curves in all the right places, all the way to the soft glow of your skin in the warm light of your bedroom.

“What?” You hissed, eyes narrowing.

He hummed approvingly, noting how you were still heated from the argument. “Are you going to let me in, or just glare at me?” His voice was deep and raspy, telling you everything you needed to know. The reason why he'd come, just like the other times.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, turning on your heel to return to your vanity. The door was left wide open; Azriel stepped in, shutting and locking the door behind him, watching closely as you walked away from him.

“Do you have any idea how mad you made me out there?” Azriel asked as he walked towards you, his steps quick, but quiet. His body moved with ease, like a prowling animal, every muscle rippling with every step.

“You started it. You pissed me off.” You sharply bit back, stopping in front of the mirror to take off the last remnants of the lipstick that Mor had wanted you to try because she thought it would look good on you. She was right, as usual.

He came up behind you, his large frame towering over you in the mirror. Azriel's hands landed on your hips, pinning you against the vanity in front of you. His hard chest pressed against your back, his lips grazing over the shell of your ear. “I may have started it, but you don't know when to shut your little mouth.”

"I thought you liked my mouth wide open." You snapped with a small, barely noticeable rumble of a growl, glaring at him in the mirror as he pressed against you. 

He chuckled and he slid his large hand up your body, gently wrapping his fingers around your throat, his hand almost covering your entire neck.

"I do. But I also like it when you're a good little princess and shut up and listen. I like it when you're good for me." He moved his other hand, letting it run over your thigh.

He moved his lips over your neck, letting his tongue trail over your sensitive skin, feeling your pulse in his hand. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before you open that pretty mouth of yours to say something you'll know will piss me off, hm?"

His hand on your thigh moved higher, letting his hand slide under the fabric of your nightgown, running his hand over the smooth skin of your hip.

“Don't act like you don't fucking love it.” You growled, fighting the urge to react to his touch. He didn't deserve to see you melt into his touch. Ha. No.

A dark chuckle fell from his lips, his breath warm on your skin. “You're right. It makes it more fun when I shut you up. . . I like it when you can't hide how much you want me.” His teeth grazed your neck. 

“Go fuck yourself.”

A low chuckle came from him again, he didn't expect anything different from you. You were stubborn and defiant. But he liked it, loved it even. You were the only one who dared to talk back to him, to fight and argue with him. It drove him crazy.

"Such a filthy little mouth." His hand fell from your throat and he spun you around to face him, lifting you up, sitting you on the vanity and standing in between your thighs.

His hands ran up your thighs, his hands disappearing under the fabric of your nightgown, gripping your hips and tugging you closer against his front. He moved his lips to your ear again, his chest now pressed up against yours as his breathing quickened.

"You know, for someone who was so angry a moment ago, you seem to be enjoying my touch now. Your breathing, the way your heart is racing, the way your legs are opened wide for me.”

You growled at the clear smugness in his tone, your eyes narrowing into a glare once the brief shock from his quick movements wore away.

"You know, your little growl sounds more like a moan to me, love." He grabbed your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist as he stepped forward, pressing his hips against yours so you could feel how hard he already was. His mouth moved down your neck again, gently nipping and sucking your skin.

"You can stay defiant, but your body is telling a different story.”

Your slender fingers gripped the collar of his clothes and forced him to look at you as your legs locked around his waist, pulling him closer. "Stop. Playing. Games. Azriel." You snarled.

He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him as he stared down at you with his darkened gaze. He leaned close, his lips hovering just inches away from yours. "Why don't you just admit you want me, princess?” 

"Maybe I should just go ask Cassian if he'd want to —”

The moment you mention Cassian's name, something snapped inside of him. His grip on you tightened, and he let out a low possessive growl. His hand slid up, wrapping around your neck. "Not. A. Chance. He's not allowed anywhere near you, do you understand me?”

"It seems I've struck a nerve." You spat, a dark grin spreading across your face as you stared up at him.

He let out a low growl, his grip on your throat tightening a bit more. "Cassian won't be able to give you what you need, sweetheart. I know how much you want me right now, and deep down, you know you can't deny it. You're mine."

His hips ground against yours, making you feel the further evidence of how much he wanted you. "You're mine, princess. Say it.”

“Choke.” You muttered darkly.

His hand tightened around your throat, constricting it in a way that had you releasing a soft moan despite the glare set on your face.

He chuckled again, watching that expression on your face. "I can tell how much you want this." His voice was low and gravelly against your ear. His hips continued to grind against yours, putting just the right amount of pressure where you wanted it.

You groaned, which turned into an almost embarrassingly needy moan very quickly. You glared harder, hating the way he reduced you to a writhing mess so easily. . . Knowing what was imminent, you reached down and began unlacing his pants at a tantalizing slow pace.

The fabric came loose in your grasp and he immediately shed them, along with his underwear, tossing them somewhere in the room before he slid a hand back under the hem of your nightgown, expecting to meet the lace fabric of your panties. He let out a low growl when, instead of fabric, his hand immediately met your slick folds. 

You gasped softly as he ran a finger through them before gently thrusting two fingers into you, while his thumb rubbed gently on your clit, his other hand finding its way back to your throat as if it was magnetic. 

He moved his hand in a steady rhythm, listening to the sweet sounds you tried and failed to stifle. 

“You're so desperate for me, aren't you? You need me, don't you?” 

You could only moan softly as his fingers curled deliciously within you.

“Say it. Say you need me. Say you're mine.” 

"Yours." You gasped out a moan. "I'm all yours — GODS, I need you, Az. . ."

He loved hearing those words from you, loved hearing you admit how much you needed him. . . Loved seeing you completely surrendering yourself to him. "Good girl. That's it, princess. I'm the only one who can make you feel like this.”

He dipped his head down, nipping and sucking at your sensitive skin on your neck, as his hand continued to move in that steady rhythm between your thighs. "You're all mine, princess. No one else gets to touch you, to make you needy and desperate for release like this. Say it. Tell me you're mine.”

"I'm yours." You moaned, your hips bucking slightly, seeking more friction than what he was giving you. 

You hated how in control he was.

You hated the way his fingers alone made the heat within you build, threatening to snap.

You hated the way you didn't really hate any of it.

He grinned as he continued to leave marks on your neck, moving down to your chest. "Louder, princess. I want you to say it, louder. I want you to admit how much you need me." His hand between your legs moved faster, applying more pressure, knowing it will drive you crazy.

You let out a loud, needy moan. "Need you so bad, Az. . . So bad. . . Please. . !" You gasped.

You needed him. You hated how much you needed him, but at the end of the day, the two of you were mates, destined to be, and maybe, just maybe, the harsh words exchanged could turn into soft, reassuring words. . . Unlikely, but possible. . . Maybe. 

"Good girl. That's it, princess. I like it when you're needy like this. I love knowing that you're all mine. I love hearing you begging for me." He says against your chest, his mouth moving down to one of your sensitive mounds. He continued to suck and lick, his hand between your legs still moving steadily, but he could feel how eager you were, how impatient you were getting. "Be a good girl for me, princess. Tell me what you want. You need to ask for it.”

“Fuck me, Az. . . Please. . .”

He chuckled, a low, possessive growl coming from his chest. There was an intense look on his face as he slowly moved his hands away from their placements — stealing his fingers away from your core before you could come around them —  gently grabbing you by the hips and pulling you forward off the vanity. With ease, he pushed you up against the wall next to the mirror, pressing himself against you.

He moved his hips forward, letting you feel how hard you made him, letting you feel how much he'd been wanting you. "I'm going to make you remember who you belong to. Who you've always belonged to." He looked into your eyes, his expression full of desire and possession, a hint of a smirk on his face.

You glared slightly but gasped softly as he pressed forward, entering you inch by inch. 

He let his mouth roam over your neck again, moving down to the top of your chest, gently nipping and sucking on the skin, leaving marks that would be visible in the morning. His hands stayed firmly on your hips, keeping you in place as he slowly moved in and out of you.

"You're mine, princess. You're mine, not only in this room, but out there too. Everyone needs to know who you belong to.”

"Fuck you." You ground out, fighting back a moan at how he was making you feel. But the moan spilled out anyway.

He grinned against your skin, knowing he was getting to you. "That's it, princess. You can try and be defiant, but you'll eventually break. You'll break for me, like you always do. That mouth of yours is always going to end up wide open, just for me, whether you admit it or not." He moved his head up, looking into your eyes, his intense stare holding you captive.

You moaned as he hit a certain spot before growling and capturing his lips in a fiery, lustful kiss. It was new territory, but something within you told you to do it. . . Perhaps it was that taunting golden string tethering your souls together. . . Or maybe you just wanted him to shut the fuck up.

He quickly took control of the kiss, pushing your head up against the wall as he dominated you. His hips moved harder and faster against yours, the sound of flesh against flesh filling the room, combining with the sound of your and his moans.

"You're mine, princess. No one else can make you feel like this.”

You knew without a doubt in your mind that he was right. No one could. No one would.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, watching your face twist into ecstasy and pleasure, hearing your moans and sounds fill the room. He loved how shamelessly you gave yourself over to him, how you couldn't fight it, no matter how much you'd tried before. He loved how you were his.

He moved his hands from your hips, one gripping your neck again, his fingers lightly closing around your throat, the other moving to your thigh, hitching your leg up over his hip, giving him a deeper angle to work with.

Your eyes rolled back as you moaned louder. Gods, he knew your body far too well. Your desires. Just the right way to push your buttons — just the right angle to thrust mercilessly into you. 

He loved the sound of your moans, the way your body was responding to him, the way your eyes rolled back when he pushed you right to the edge. He knew you better than anyone else, and he loved that he had this power over you, that you willingly gave into that power, even if you didn't like it a few minutes ago. He knew you needed this, just as much as he needed you. 

He leaned forward, whispering against your ear, his voice low and gruff. "You're mine... say it. I want to hear you say it, princess.”

"Shut up." You moaned out with a slight groan.

He chuckled against your skin. You could always try to resist him, but you'd never be able to win. He loved how stubborn you were, but he also loved being able to take that stubbornness away from you, to make you completely surrender to him.

"You just can't help defying me, can you, princess? But then again, I know exactly how to set you straight, don't I?" He tightened the grip around your neck, his fingers pressing against your pulse point, knowing how wild it would make you. 

"Fuck — I'm yours." You moaned pathetically. "I fucking hate you, but I'm yours. . .”

"That's right, princess. You're mine. Now, and always. You can hate me and fight me all you want, but deep down, you know that you belong with me..” He continued to move against you, faster and harder, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. 

He moved his hand down, his thumb gently tracing slow circles against your clit, adding even more sensation and pleasure. 

You knew he could tell you were close. He always could. The way your breath caught. The way you subtly met his thrusts. The way you clenched around him so sinfully and your eyes fluttered closed.

"Give in, princess. Let yourself go. Let yourself feel all of this.”

Then pleasure crashed into you as the steadily growing, hot coil snapped and you fell over the edge right into an orgasm, your breathing heavy as you slowly began coming down from the high.

Seeing you completely lose yourself sent him over the edge, his release intense and powerful, his body going taut as he let himself go inside you, his forehead falling against yours as he leaned against you, trying to catch his breath.

He took a few moments to regain his bearings, his body still pressed up against yours as his hands gently held your hips, still holding you in place.

There was some part of you that wanted to ask him to stay, but as he slowly separated the two of you, setting your feet back on the smooth hardwood floor with shaky legs, before going to locate his clothes that he had hastily discarded in the heat of the moment, you knew this was how it was. 

He dressed, sparing a quick glance back at you before leaving your room. Wordlessly. Leaving you with his cum slowly spilling out of you. . . You also knew that you'd have to start another argument with him tomorrow. . . Just so you could have him close again.

Because even you knew that you didn't truly hate him.

[fyageee]

[rosie-bun27]

Diasomnia boys : Their love language !

Characters : Malleus Draconia , Lillia Vanrouge , Silver Vanrouge , Sebek Zigvolt

Pairing : x [Fem] Reader

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

----

(A/N : Okay , I think I will be making this into a little series where I cover all the dorms in Twisted wonderland , starting with my favourite ! Give your suggestions in the comments for which one I should do next (≧∇≦)/)

----

💚Malleus Draconia💚

Love language : Words of affirmation , gifts

1) Malleus loves to shower his darling with compliments and sweet nothings . After all , since he is the soon-to-be crowned king of Briar Valley , it is only fair that his partner gets to be treated and pampered like a princess .

2) However , his love doesn't merely stop at words . For what kind of lover would he be if he didn't also shower his darling with expensive gifts , adorning them like a sweet little doll , all wrapped up in silk and adorned with gold and jewels .

"My love , how could I possibly focus on the night sky , when you are my whole world ?"

**Bonus headcannon [🎉] : "What makes them really flustered ?"

Malleus : Any kind of physical touch . Just a soft little squeeze of the arm while the two of you are out on a walk or a sweet little peck on the cheek is enough to get his tail wagging and his cheeks flushed a bright red . His heart almost seems to melt as he just stands there , looking at you adoringly .

----

💚Lillia Vanrouge💚

Love language : Words of affirmation

1) Lillia just loves to see you blush when he flirts with you . He loves the way you bashfully avert your gaze when when he has made that cute little face of yours turn bright red , or the way your face seems to light up with the cutest smile after he has just complimented you .

2) Lillia also loves to playfully tease you , getting you all riled up just to see how much he could make you blush ~ To him you are just the cutest little human in the whole wide world , and your cute little flustered reactions make you all the cuter to him .

"Awh ~ Aren't you just the cutest , sweetheart ? Careful now , if you keep being so adorable I might just be tempted to eat you up !"

**Bonus headcannon [🎉] : "What makes them really flustered ?"

Lillia : Any sort of hand-made gift , whether it be a drawing , a cute little crafting project or a hand-sewn or knitted piece of clothing , he just can't help the little smirk that comes to his lips , or the oh so faint pink tint that paints his pale face when you give him something made from your own little hands . You are just so full of suprises , how could he not love you even more ?

----

💚Silver Vanrouge💚

Love language : Physical touch

1) Silver might not always be able to tell you "I love you" directly , unless you catch him lovingly mumbling it under his breath during one of his naps , or be able to spend as much time doing fun activities with you , but he is always up to cuddle , just wrapping you you up in his embrace and snuggling into you , giving you lots and lots of kisses all over your little face .

2) The only issue is that sometimes Silver's sleepyness can be so powerful , that he ends up trapping you in his warm embrace until he wakes up from his nap , which usually takes quite some time , so do be prepared to stay there for a while .

"... Mhm , you're so soft darling ~ Don't ... Go yet ~"

**Bonus headcannon [🎉] : "What makes them really flustered ?"

Silver : When you also return the physical affection . Cuddling with you as he sleeps is ptobably the highlight of his day , and he enjoys how soft and cuddly you are against him . Just the though of having you in his arms , all cuddled up against him .

----

💚Sebek Zigvolt💚

Love language : Acts of service

1) Let's be honest , Sebek doesn't exactly have the best way with words , as no matter how he tries to word his feelings he always ends up sounding mean and bossy and aggresive .

2) And so , the only way for him to properly express his love for you is through his actions . Making sure that his darling is taking care of herself and eating proper healthy meals and sleeping the recommended amount , and doing little favours like helping you with homework , or carrying your books when they are too heavy for you to carry .

"Good morning my darling ! Have you eaten brealfast ? ... No ?!? *proceeds to get you something to eat while firmly lecturing you about how precious and valuable you are and how you should take care of yourself !*"

**Bonus headcannon [🎉] : "What makes them really flustered ?"

Sebek : Bold flirting , when his darling gets playful with her words , he just melts . How is he supposed to keep his composure and remain serious when you are calling him all these cutsey nicknames ?! Watching him just turn as red as a ripe tomato as he stumbles over his words is just the cutest thing ever ~

----

(That's all !)

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

(A/N : I feel like Silver's and Lillia's didn't turn out as good but oh well T^T)

[pomefioredove]

see its funny cause in twst astrology IS real

[quartztwst]

Twitter is using ai scanning things to run ur art through ai I'm not risking that hmu on bluesky

[starswritingdorm]

silver + riddle + reader polyam headcanons?

𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙁!𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙍𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚

𝙋𝙤𝙡𝙮𝙖𝙢 𝙨𝙛𝙬 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

A/N: hope you enjoy!!

──────────────.•*:｡✩

It started out as you dating riddle first!!

Riddle was nervous when telling you that he liked you for a while, probably after his you know…overblot

Seeing his letter with a rose taped to your door was a surprise but everything about the confession he did was so heartwarming

He confessed in the garden where the roses were freshly painted red and you can see the hedgehogs run around as well.

Riddle soon said he liked you which you liked him back! Everything was so heartwarming and everything was perfect

Well not everything. Silver heard about this from lilia and didn’t leave his room for awhile

He felt heartbroken knowing he lost his chance with you, but that’s when lilia came in his room and told him about you can love someone even if they are dating someone.

That confused silver more until lilia went to explaining more. Polyamorous relationships, silver didn’t understand what he was trying to hint at until he saw lilia smile. Which it soon clicked.

“Are trying to say..?”

“You love her don’t you? If you talk it out with her and riddle im sure you guys can negotiate, the worst they can say is no”

“You won’t hate me if I end up in a uhm..polyamorous relationship?”

“I wouldn’t have told you it if I would, why would I hate you?”

Lilia had the biggest smile on his face which caused silver to smile softly before getting out of bed to go and talk with you guys

Silver arrived at ramshackle dorm taking a deep breath before walking in. Silver didn’t need to knock since you and silver were so close you gave him a key!!

That’s when he saw the two of you which caused you to smile and talk with him.

Silver was nervous since riddle looked at him with a stern look but didn’t say anything

That’s when silver spilled everything. Which surprised the both of you greatly but after a silence you said you liked him too which surprised him and looked at riddle who just held a soft look

Apparently you said you liked him for awhile to riddle but still liked him as well and when you suggested a poly to him he was skeptical but trusted you enough to do it

Ever since then you’ve been receiving love non stop

With stolen kisses happening

To cuddling each other on riddles big bed

You guys have group dates occasionally but you all prefer or stick with one on one dates

Though when you’re on a date with riddle, silver does magically fall out of the bushes asleep

He just wants you to be safe!!

Riddle may do the same thing but he’ll keep a distance but hold a very in love look when he looks at the two of you

Riddle may or may not gain feelings for silver when he sees the way he treats you and him

But we don’t talk about that since riddle is too nervous about it

But otherwise it’s so soft and heartwarming with you guys, gotta love tooth rotting fluff

[wanderingconstellations]

fem reader. cock can be interpreted as strap. wlw. this is to make up for that unfinished silverwolf post.

women who pound into you relentlessly, not even letting get a breather after your previous orgasm. your walls are just spasming around them, clenching and sucking them in every time they pull out. your pussy is so overstimulated, it makes you tear up when you feel the knots in your stomach snap again.

"give me one more 'kay?" she murmurs as her hips stutter for a few moments, letting you ride off your high with loud cry. she caressed your hips, soon leaning down to kiss your sweaty forehead.

"such a good girl, f'me.." she breathed, gradually now starting to slowly fucking your greedy pussy again n' moving her finger down to rub slow circles on your neglected clit.

"love my darling soo much.."

— SILVERWOLF, SERVAL, COCOLIA, kafka, ningguang, YELAN, YAE MIKO, DEHYA, navia + all ur faves <3

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

"Don't You Know It's Bad Luck To See Your Bride Before The Wedding?"

Warning: I write reader as female 

Masterlist

One of the most interesting things about having a girlfriend from another world is learning about the culture and traditions that her world possesses. Normally, he would consider every part of the home of the love of his life nothing less than perfect, since it managed to create such an exceptional individual - the very same individual that he can proudly call his. This was, however, before you mentioned a certain tradition/superstition that you had where the soon-to-be husband and wife spend the night before their wedding apart and forbids said betrothed couple from seeing each other until they meet at the altar.

Here’s how our dear NRC boys would react when told this news:

Is cool with it. At least on the outside. They understand that it’s a silly little tradition from your home world so they let you spend the night with Adeuce (you bet that those two are your bridesmen/men of honour and the three of you and Grim are going to have the greatest bachelorette party of your life)/Papa Crewel 

But of all traditions, why this one? He seems perfectly calm when you say goodbye - you pretend you don’t notice how he holds you much longer and tighter than he usually does when he hugs you - and your text messages to each other are as normal as they can be, but no matter how hard he tries he just can’t shake off the cold feeling of loneliness your absence brings and how his body feels empty without yours to anchor it.

Once the festivities of his bachelor party are over, it takes five minutes of him trying and failing to keep himself occupied and distracted before his desire to at least hear your voice becomes unbearable and he grabs his phone to call you. He wordlessly slips off somewhere where none of his friends would find him and he gives you a ring. The two of you speak to each other until one of you falls asleep.

He would actually go through with it in its entirely and seeing you walking down the aisle in all your glory and beauty, emerging through the door like a celestial being, after hours of not seeing you had him completely awestruck, like a dying man seeing an oasis after spending hours crawling through the desert. It nearly almost made the wait worth it. 

Just never make him go through that again. Please.

Trey, Jamil, Silver, Jack, Sebek

Instantly shoots it down. 

Listen, Y/N, he loves you so much it hurts. He’ll move mountains for you, pluck the stars and moon out of the sky for you. He’d make the sun rise from the west if that’s what you desired. If there’s an option to carve out his heart and present it to you on a silver platter he would. Every breath he takes, every time his heart beats, and every hour of every day, he’s dedicated to making you the happiest person in the world - the ring on your finger is an attest to that.

But he won’t, absolutely will not nor ever, deprive himself of a single minute of your presence. He’s trying to make up for the years he’s spent without even knowing you and now that he has you in his life, do you think he goes a day without thanking every force in the multiverse that you found him and filled his life with light and colour and laughter. Do you truly believe that he would ever even attempt to get any amount of rest when you’re not in his arms? It’s absolutely unfathomable and he will stand for it. Now come over here and spend the next hour cuddling him for speaking such nonsense.

It does not matter how long your respective bachelor and bachelorette parties last, you two are spending the night together and that’s that. Full stop.

And don’t worry about the consequences. Whatever supposed ‘bad luck’ that befalls you as a result of his actions, he’ll shoulder it all. In sickness and in health until the end of time, after all.

Riddle, Vil, Jamil, Azul, Leona, Malleus, Idia

Haha, no ♡

Leona, Lilia, Jade, Floyd

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM???? 🥺😭

Ever since you brought it up, he’s been nothing but clingy. It’s hard to tell where you start and he ends from the way he’s hugging you so close it’s like he’s trying to fuse the two of you together. 

He wants to do it for you since you’re already sacrificing so much by being away from your home but-but that means that he has to spend a whole entire night without you! Don’t you know he can’t live without your goodnight kisses? And your good morning kisses? And your breakfast kisses and lunch kisses? And you’re just going to desert him like that? Abandon him and then deprive him of hours of kisses and cuddles that legally are his right to have? Starve him of his well-deserved affection and leave him when he needs you the most? Just tell him that you hate him, it would hurt less.

This boy is going to be facetiming you throughout his entire bachelor party - the rules of your world be damned. He’s going to be marrying you in less than 24 hours and he wants to spend every second of his excitement and pure elation with you. 

These boys are also the reason as to why you have to have people stationed outside your changing room like guards to make sure that the surprise of your wedding dress isn’t ruined because ‘they just had to see you’.

Needless to say, you are going to be spending the night together

But seriously he’s tried to follow you into the bathroom. Just tell him that it’s an old custom that no one abides by anymore before he breaks the door down.

Ace, Deuce, Cater (100% snapchats/live tweets his feelings of betrayal), Ruggie, Epel, Kalim, Azul, Floyd, Rook

You used your impeccable negotiation skills (puppy eyes) to reach a compromise. You’ll spend the night in Ortho’s room and the two of you will spend the entire night before your wedding playing video games using your matching couple headphones. Ortho will run interference until you leave the next day to get ready to make sure that you don’t end up seeing each other.

Or at least that was the plan until Idia woke up in the middle of the night to find his room devoid of the only lights in his life. Without even thinking, he leaves his bedroom and goes over to where you and his brother are and he gets into bed with you and cuddles you.

Listen normie, you’ve wormed your way into his heart so take some responsibility. If your world is right, then he’ll take the L. He’s used to doom and gloom so whatever bad luck happens can’t be worse than the life he had without you and it certainly isn’t worth even an hour without you by his side.

Idia

Are you kidding him, Herbivore?

First he has to go to some stupid bachelor party that his brother, Ruggie and Jack are throwing because no one would shut up about it when he could be sleeping with you and now you’re telling him that you want him to spend the night alone when he could be sleeping with you?

No. Absolutely not.

He doesn’t care if you think it’ll bring him bad luck or whatever. He’s not spending the night without you. In fact, he’s not even going to go to that blasted party. You and him can just spend the entire time napping in bed.

What? He has to go. Fine. They get one hour. Then, you're his. And if anything tries to get in the way of yours and his happiness, he’ll turn it to ash with his very claws.

Leona

Child of Man, he does not understand. You mean to tell him that in your world, a betrothed couple must spend the eve and morning of their nuptials apart lest a curse of bad luck shall befall them? He’s never heard of such a thing. Humans have such strange customs from where you’re from. You needn’t worry, however, as the future king and powerful mage, he is more than capable of handling whatever calamity that comes your way. A measly little curse is no match for a fae such as he. Therefore, there is no reason for you to deprive him of the warmth of your body for he shall always be there to soothe your fears. He has sworn to protect you and made an oath to you that no harm shall ever befall you.

For if anyone dares to prove him otherwise, he shall deal with them. 

Personally.

Malleus (it takes him a while to realise it’s not an actual curse since your world doesn’t even have magic to begin with but he still makes you wear enchanted jewellery on your person just in case - even though every piece of jewellery he had gifted you prior to that is chock full with protection charms and that’s not even counting the heaps of blessings he gave you) (It’s like that time you told him about the curse of ‘The Scottish Play’ all over again)

[bldhrry]

loml

Cassian x Reader Summary: You, Cassian, and the entire world knew you were mates until you weren't. Masterlist

word count: 4.8k

warnings: sadness

author's note: been sitting on this one for a minute. thank you taylor swift for writing the saddest song to exist. as always lmk what you think!

You were young when you met Cassian, a footsoldier, at the war camp you had been stationed at as a healer, but you knew then that he was the one you were destined to be with.  

He had come in after a strenuous battle with Hybern’s forces and had a gash down his leg so bad it exposed bones and harbored an infection.  He was unconscious and bloody with his own blood and the blood of those he had killed and despite his ragged state he was breathtaking.  You worked on his wounds and stayed by his side until he woke up the next morning.

You were reapplying bandages to his leg when you felt him shift and when you looked up he was already looking down at you with a crooked grin.

“I must be dead and in heaven because you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.”  

It was corny and in other circumstances it would’ve made you scrunch your nose and roll your eyes, but his chances of surviving the infection were low and you were just happy he had survived the night.

You laughed and tied the bandage, patting it lightly.  “Thing?”

Cassian blushed and his eyes widened slightly.  “No.”  He cleared his throat and you couldn’t help but giggle at the way his eyes shifted around the room in embarrassment.

Before he could explain and possibly embarrass himself even more you stood up and smiled at him.  “I know what you mean.  I’m happy to see you too.”  

He visibly relaxed, his shoulders sagging and he flopped back on the bed.

“How do you feel?”  You asked without looking at him, focusing on putting your supplies into your pack.

“Good,” he paused and nodded his head.  “Fine.”

Had you looked at him during this brief conversation you would have noticed Cassian’s hazel eyes glued to you, taking in you in like water when he hadn’t drank in a long time.  You were stunning and graceful and it was true what he had said, he had never seen something or somebody so beautiful.  He felt stupid for saying thing instead of female or person or literally anything else, but if he didn’t know any better he would have assumed you were a goddess taking him away and if it were true he wouldn’t have objected.  He would follow you anywhere.

Cassian decided then that you were the one he was destined to be with.

Fortunately for you both, you were Cassian’s primary healer.  He saw you every morning, afternoon, and night when you came to redress his wounds and check his temperature.  Every time you were in his presence he felt like he couldn’t breathe and there were times you had to tell him to breathe normally so you could listen to his heart and lungs.  It was hard to contain his excitement when he saw the sun rise and set itself in the sky because he knew you were coming.  He would try, and fail, to make himself look presentable for you so you would look at him longer than 15 seconds and say something other than “how are you feeling” and “are you in pain.”

It was difficult for you to care for Cassian and not gawk at him every time you came to visit.  He was gorgeous and charming and surprisingly funny.  He asked you about your day and your patients and every few days he would ask if he was your favorite patient.  This always made you laugh and you would just shake your head and tell him you had no favorites.  This, of course, was not true because Cassian was your favorite patient.  He was quiet during your exams and didn’t protest when you checked his wounds or make vulgar comments regarding your body like the other soldiers at the camp.  He was respectful and kind and it was the highlight of your day to see him.

You were still with his legion when the war came to an end and the relationship between the two of you had not advanced in the slightest.  He was discharged from your care after a week and you saw him rarely in between battles and his duties and while you prayed for his safety during the war, you couldn’t help but hope that he would end up back in your section of the camp.

When the news came out, you sighed a breath of relief; you would finally be able to go back home.  You were originally from the Dawn Court and was a prominent healer in your district and you did not hesitate to answer the call to service the army’s wounded.

Cassian found you later that night.  You didn’t hear him come in and he swayed in the entrance of the medic tent for a brief second, watching as you meticulously put your supplies away, humming quietly to yourself.

Cassian felt a foreign sense of peace when you were around.  He had fought his entire life to get the bare minimum from clothes to food to shelter; he had never known comfortability even when he did have a roof over his head and a full stomach.  But you, this female that had blown in with the winds of fate, gave him that peace.  Your aura was pure tranquility and he wanted to bask himself in it.  

“Hey.”

The voice made you jump and let out a yelp as you turned around, your hand on your heart.  “Oh gods Cassian!  You scared me.”  You let out a small laugh as you observed the warrior in front of you.  He had no open wounds save for a few cuts and his face and body was caked in mud.  His seven siphons glowed in the dim tent and you watched the light move as he shifted his feet.

“Sorry,” he gave you a sheepish smile and you let out a quiet sigh at the sight.

“It’s fine,” you waved your hand and held your hands together.  “Do you need something?”

Cassian’s heart was beating so loud and hard he was worried it would fail him entirely.  He shook his head.  “No, I just wanted to come see you.”

Your mouth opened in an ‘O’ shape and your cheeks flushed with heat.  You tucked a piece of hair behind your pointed ear and looked at the hem of your dress.  “For any particular reason?”  Your voice was soft and hopeful.

“Yes.”  Cassian cleared his throat and suddenly his next words were lost to him and he just stared at you.

You looked back with an expectant and confused look.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed nervously, shaking his head, the mud making his hair stick to his face.  “I’m nervous.”

There was an awkward silence and you cocked your head to the side, your brows coming together and you jutted your bottom lip out slightly.  This look Cassian would memorize and come to know as your “I’m trying to figure it out” face.

“Why?”

“I want to keep seeing you.”  The confession was rushed and his face was a mix of red and brown.  “I know we don’t know each other and that’s my fault.  You made me so gods damned nervous.”  He laughed again and his eyes softened.  “I want to see you again.  I want to know you.”

Your face lit up and you smiled widely.  “I would like that.”

Cassian nodded and gave you a look that you would memorize as his “I’m in love” face and gave you his signature crooked grin.  “Good.  I will write to you.  I promise.”

And he did.  You had no more to do once the remaining wounded soldiers became well enough to travel home and you went home too.  Cassian wrote to you almost daily and you would laugh and shake your head in disbelief when they would come.  His handwriting was atrocious and it took you some time to figure out what he had written but it wasn’t long after that you were able to read his letters so fast that you missed the way you felt when you started.

He came to see you a few months later and it wasn’t as awkward as you both thought it would be.  You were different in many ways; he was nearly mannerless and brash and you were timid and observant.  But you were also the same in many ways; you both liked to travel and explore and you especially liked to love one another.

You two traveled to see each other and wrote letters until your hands ached before he asked you to move with him.  He had gotten a permanent position at the Night Court under Rhysand and bought a small cottage near the sea, something you had said you wanted to do at some point in your life.

You moved with him and you both spent the next 500 years in bliss.  Your love transcended unknown boundaries and it was inconceivable the way your bodies survived the amount of affection that coursed through your veins.  It was sickening to many just how in tune you were with each other and the looks shared from across the room conveyed things that were unspeakable.  It was common knowledge that you two had to be mates.  This kind of love couldn’t possibly exist between two regular people in love.  This kind of love existed solely for mates.  And you two believed it.  The bond never came to fruition during the centuries but it didn’t need to and you didn’t need a magical bond to keep you two together.  You would love each other regardless and you did so with glee.

It was a sunny Spring day when Feyre’s sister came to Velaris.  It was an exciting day, their arrival, and you had helped Feyre the entire day to prepare the House of Wind and their rooms.  You were excited to meet them.  If Feyre was as incredible as she was, her sisters had to be even better.  

They arrived later in the evening with Rhysand and Azriel.  You were waiting for them with Cassian in the living room, your hands intertwined as you discussed the upcoming week.  He would be leaving for an emissary mission and you were going to see your family in the meantime.  You hated not being with him and so did he so you had planned to stay in the cottage once you had come back to make up for the time apart.

Feyre met the four at the door and you and Cassian padded in, giving the sisters time to rejoice in their reunion.  Hugs and kisses were shared and then Feyre stepped back, her hand outstretched to you and Cassian.  Cassian stiffened at your side and you didn’t realize he had stopped walking until you were two paces ahead of him.  You turned to look at him, but his eyes were looking straight ahead, unwavering.  

You looked at the direction he was facing and found Nesta, eyes wide with shock and surprise.  You turned back to Cassian and his face was not one of shock, but of fear and before you could ask what was happening the scent hit you so hard you stumbled backwards.  

You knew what a mating bond smelled like being around Feyre and Rhysand so there was no doubt in your mind that this was that scent.  It was strong and felt like a physical wave crashing against the walls in the room and rocking you back and forth.

“Cass?”  Your voice was barely a whisper.  Cassian looked down at your still intertwined hands and then at your face, his face shifting from fear to anguish and you let out a breath.  “Cass.”  Your heart was breaking.

There was movement and then a sound like a footstep and you broke eye contact with Cassian to see Nesta had made a step towards you two and before she could take another Cassian had pushed you behind him and squared his shoulders, spreading his feet slightly into a fighting stance.

“No.”  Cassian’s voice was rough and low and while it was a command, it was also a plea.  No, don’t come any closer, and no this can’t be.

You were thinking the same thing: this can’t be.

Cassian swiftly turned around and ushered you out and you glanced back at Nesta and her face had contorted to rage but you didn’t have time to see what would happen next before Cassian had pushed you out the side door and took you in his arms, shooting you both into the sky and towards the cottage.

You didn’t cry as you flew to the house you had shared with him for 500 years, or when you stepped inside, or when you entered your bedroom, your belongings mixed together throughout the room.  You were confused.  So confused it felt chronic, like nothing was making sense even though it was painfully obvious.

Your name echoed throughout the house as Cassian tried to talk to you.  He begged you to look at him but you just shook your head and waved at him, moving towards your shared bathroom.  It wasn’t until you had locked the door that you let out a sob and then another and another until your cries were so loud your ears were ringing.

This was a mistake.  You had been with him for centuries.  He was yours and you were his and that was final.  Not even the Mother could change that, but She was and you were shaking so bad you fell to your knees and clutched your chest.  You couldn’t breathe and your heart was shattering in a way that you had feared long ago would happen but soon became confident it would never; he would never leave you and he would never not love you.  This, you were so sure of and here you were, screaming into your bathroom mat.  

The picture perfect life you had been painting for all these years was being smeared and destroyed.  The heaven that you had been living in was slowly turning into hell.

Cassian banged on the door behind you, begging to be let in.  

“I’m sorry.”  He kept saying and he was.  This was not what he had expected or ever hoped to happen.  That female was not his mate.  You were his mate; you were his other half, his twin flame, the love of his life.  “This doesn’t change anything.  I promise.  Please let me in.”  He was crying now, his sobs matching the volume and intensity of yours.  

Your world was falling apart and so was his.  He didn’t want to be told he was meant to be with someone else.  That notion didn’t make sense to him.  How could it not be you?  The female he fell in love with the moment he saw her bent over his leg, your tongue poking out slightly as you concentrated; the female who would cover him in kisses during his moments of doubt and insecurity; the female whom he loved more than life itself.

Cassian shimmied the lock until it slipped from its hold and he opened the door slowly until it hit something and when he peeked his head in, he saw that the door had hit your foot.  You were curled up on the bathroom mat.  It was an ugly yellow color and did not match the decor but you looked so happy when you came home with it tucked under your arm he couldn’t not let you have this one victory.  The sight of it made his stomach lurch and he knelt down beside you, lifting your head and cradling it in his hands.

You always thought his hands would hold yours until the end of time.  They were always so big and warm and inviting, grasping for you in the night and closing the distance between you two.  But now they felt so cold and you shrank from his touch.  He was no longer yours.  He was just a pawn in the Mother’s game.  You were just something momentary, something to bide his time until she came along.  You were so angry.

“Nothing is changing,” Cassian’s body shook with his sobs.  “I promise.”  Him and his promises.  “I love you.  You’re the love of my life.”  

You savored those words like it was elixir.  You loved the way he said it, with such conviction it could make the mountains shake and the world spin in the opposite direction.  And he said it now, through a voice so broken it made you look at him, that you once again believed him.  The Mother be damned; she could not and would not do this to you.  You were his and he was yours.

Cassian held you so tightly that night that you had to ask him to loosen his grip and even then he barely did.  He was so scared of what this meant.  He had only seen bonds that were accepted, but what happened to those who rejected it?  He didn’t care what happened to him and how he felt, really.  He cared about you and what this would mean for the relationship.  He did not want to leave you and he wouldn’t.  He would go down fighting, teeth bare and knives out, to keep you and the life you had created.  

Cassian didn’t leave for the emissary mission and you didn’t go to visit your family.  Instead you stayed home and laid in each other’s arms, memorizing once again what it felt like to be held and loved so fiercely.  

Cassian abandoned the Court entirely in avoidance of her.  He couldn’t even bear to think of her name.  He hated her and wished she would go away by any means necessary.  It was a morbid thought but Cassian didn’t care.  She was not worth the space she was taking up in your mind and he knew how obsessed you had become with what happened.  He could see it in the way you methodically did the chores around the house that you were ruminating over the memory and he could almost see the scene in your eyes: the look between her and him, the scent, the realization, and then the moment euphoria turned into misery.

Azriel came to the house first, giving you a sympathetic smile and a kiss on the cheek before stalking to Cassian’s office.  They argued about his abrupt leave of Court and while Azriel understood it completely, he was drowning trying to balance his work and Cassian’s.  But Cassian didn’t care and told him to leave.

Rhysand came next and the High Lord demanded his return, promising that Nesta would be nowhere near him and he would never have to interact with her.  But Cassian didn’t care; he didn’t want to take that chance and he felt like being in the same continent as her was betraying you.  They argued, more aggressively than he had with Azriel, until Cassian had Rhysand pinned to the wall.

You rushed in at the commotion and yelled out.  “Cassian!  Please.”  Your voice was quiet despite the scolding and he gave you an exasperated look and released Rhysand.

“He’ll be there tomorrow morning, Rhysand.”  You bowed your head in apology and gave him a smile.  “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

Rhysand didn’t need the apology and he wouldn’t accept it.  He understood it entirely and wasn’t even angry at Cassian, not entirely at least.  This had been Feyre years ago and it took Rhysand everything in him to leave her be and even then he struggled.  

“What the fuck?”  Cassian snarled, slamming the door behind Rhysand.

You jumped at his tone and held your hands together.  “We have to get back to normal at some point.”  

Your eyes were glistening with tears and Cassian’s anger immediately faded away and his shoulders drooped.  “I do not want to do this.  I do not want to leave you.”

You chuckled.  “You’re going to work, Cassian.  You’ll be back.”

“And if I have to go on a mission?”

“You’ll still come back.  Everything will be as it was before.  I promise.”  

A year turned into two and into three and your relationship didn’t deteriorate, but it also didn’t progress.  It was like you were waiting for something bad to happen, for Nesta to come and demand he come to her, for Cassian to realize he wanted the bond more than you.  It was agonizing to live in so much fear.  You were scared all the time; you were scared that when you woke up Cassian would be gone or he wouldn’t come home.  

But he was always there when you woke up and he always came home.

Cassian made sure to be present in every moment with you.  He had moved on from the encounter and was pleased to not feel the bond as strongly as he did that night.  He felt it every now and then, a flicker of feeling or a hazy image sent by her but he never cared to explore it.  Instead he shoved it away, pushing the bond to the deep pits of his stomach and resumed his life with you.  He knew how much you were hurting and he did his best to constantly reassure you of his dedication to you and your future.  

The rain was coming down heavily as you prepared dinner.  Cassian hadn’t come home yet and you were growing worried.  You twisted your hands as you peered out the window, counting the seconds in between the lighting and thunder.  

There was a thud outside and then the sound of keys jingling together and Cassian bursted through the door, soaked from head to toe from the rain.

Relief flooded through your body and you made your way to him, a smile so wide and bright it would’ve put the sun to shame.  The expression on Cassian’s face made you falter and then you smelled it: Nesta.

“No,” you gasped out, taking a step back.

“Nothing happened.”  Cassian was rushing towards you but you kept backing away, bumping into the kitchen counter until you were cornered.  “She came into the office while I was waiting for Rhysand.  But I left immediately after.  I pro-”

“You reek of her,” you sneered.

Cassian stopped a mere feet away from you, his hands still outstretched towards you.  “She came to me and I couldn’t get her off me.”

“You couldn’t or you didn’t want to?”  This couldn’t be happening.

“Please, listen to me.  I was waiting and she came in and ran to me.  Please believe me.  I got her off of me and-”

“She touched you?”  This was happening.

“For the love of the gods you have to believe me.”  Cassian was shaking.  Either from sobs or the cold from the rain you weren’t sure, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care.

“Get away from me,” you snarled, sliding past him.  Cassian grabbed your wrist and you jerked away from his touch, yanking your wrist free.  “Don’t.”

He let you go.  The devastation in your voice was clear and there was nothing he could say or do to stop you from thinking and believing whatever you told yourself.  He let you go to your bedroom; he let you slam and lock the door; and he let you cry yourself to sleep.  And it wasn’t until he heard nothing through the gaps of the door that he let himself in, sneaking into bed and pulling you into his chest.

You woke up the next morning with sore eyes and a pounding headache.  The events of the night before came rushing to you so fast you recoiled into something hard.  Turning your head, you saw that it was Cassian.  He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly open and his arms were tight around your waist.  You didn’t remember letting him in but regardless of how he got here you were glad for it.  You missed the warmth in your bed but was too upset, and maybe too proud, to allow him in. 

You were so upset that Nesta had gotten to Cassian but it made you realize that you were living on borrowed time.  You knew that at some point this facade that you were upholding would fall apart and he would be taken away to his mate.  His mate.  The words branded themselves into your mind and soul and you hated it.  For so long you wanted to be his mate, to be bound to him for all eternity, but it never came and you never understood why until now.  He wasn’t truly yours and it made you feel like you were being torn from the inside, your organs and muscles shredding under the sharp edges that was the empty space growing in your chest.

“It’s not going to work, Cassian, and you know that.”  Your relationship had gotten worse since that night.  You were paranoid every time he left the house and he was becoming bitter.  Not at you, no never you, but at the situation.  His anger was occupying his time more and more these days and he was losing himself in it, leaving you stranded.

“Don’t say that.”  He shook his head, his hair framing his face as he looked at you.  

You gave him a smile so slight but etched with so much pain and agony.  “It’s true.”  You let out a breath, trying to contain yourself.  “We cannot outrun what fate has written for us.”

“Fuck fate.”  Cassian jumped up and balled his hands into fists.  “We are meant to be.  We promised to be together.”

“You are meant to be with your mate if you have one, and you do.”  Your voice was soft, but trembled as you spoke.

“Mates don’t mean anything.  Rhysand’s parents were mates and they were horrible for each other.  I don’t need to be with my mate.  I need to be with you.”

You let out a breath and tilted your head up to the ceiling.  Tears were streaming down your face and you were trying so hard to keep your composure.  Every bone in your body was screaming at you in protest, but you knew this was the right thing to do.  You two were perfect for each other but not anymore.  Now you two barely spoke as if doing so would shatter the illusion you had been creating for the past three years.  Him angry and you sad, it just wasn’t going to work anymore.  

“I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered.  “I am so, so sad.  And scared.  I just can’t do it, Cass.  I love you, I do.  But not like this.  We cannot expect love to change our circumstances.  It just doesn’t work like that.”

“It does and it will.  I promise.”

“So many promises,” you let out a laugh and looked at him.  Your eyes had lost their light so long ago and Cassian had tried everything to ignite them but to no avail.  You were completely gone.  “I thought this would work.”  You clicked your tongue and looked around your home.  So many memories and dreams coated the walls, all engulfed in flames that were nipping at your skin threatening to take you down. 

You cleared your throat.  “It’s better this way.  The longer you deny the bond the worse you’ll get.  I read about it.”  You nodded like it meant nothing, like you were trying to convince him, but really you were trying to convince yourself.  This had to be better because what was happening now was not good for either of you.

“Please don’t do this.”  Cassian’s eyes were red and his face was wet with tears.  He bit his lip to contain his sobs but they kept coming out.  He didn’t care about his composure.

“I have to.”  You took a step back and kept his gaze.  If you looked away you would lose it.  You would stay.  You would be miserable.  You couldn’t do that anymore.

“You’re the love of my life.”  The words came out more like a beg than a declaration.

Those six words have meant everything to you for the past 500 years.  They made you see stars and feel safe.  They put you in a drunken haze that smelled and tasted like Cassian and at this point they had been your religion.  You loved Cassian more than anything and you knew you would never love anyone else like you did him.  You would never bask in the presence of another like you did with him, you would never cling to another like you did with him, and you would never make another your world like you had him.  

What you had was legendary even if it was momentary. So much so that the story of your love would be told for generations to come, one of both happiness and tragedy.

You would never forget him and you never wanted to; you wanted to remember every scar and muscle that adorned his body, his smile and laugh, the way he walked towards you, and the way he felt beneath your fingertips.  But all you had of him now was memories, fleeting images and sensations that left you breathless and reeling, yearning for more.  

The next six words that fell from your lips, six words so contrary to the ones he and you had shared for so long, would haunt you until the day you died.

“And you’re the loss of mine.”