#felt so bad for Suni :( her fall looked like it hurt

[sadgirlautumn]

I’m so behind on the Olympics but man everyone was falling on the beam finals :/

[b1ipblip]

In Too Deep| 7- Right?

Warning: death

Before entering the mansion, you slide off his back and on your feet. When Namjoon opens the door this time, there is no chaos. Just tense silence remains. Suga sits on the arm of the couch and Jungkook leans back into a recliner with his tablet in hand. The two of them meet Namjoon’s eyes and then each other as they silently figure out who was going to speak first.

“We scanned the whole mansion and all of our offices three times each. We found the rest of the bugs and scrambled them,” Jungkook starts. However, the next sentence wouldn’t form on his tongue. “But...” he trails off hesitantly.

“We still haven’t figured out who it was for sure. We have a list of suspects, though,” Suga finishes.

“Alright, call them down here for interrogation,” Namjoon says. Your body tenses up as you prepare for them to say your name. You know it wasn’t you. Right?

“Y/n,” your heart stops. You slowly pull your eyes to meet Suga’s. You prepare for the worst as your throat shrinks and your chest tightens. “We have no reason to believe that you planted them. It seems someone has tried to frame you,”

A wave of relief washes over your stiff body. Your body decompresses and you allow yourself to put your guard down. Even though the thought of someone framing you for what is pretty much treason is terrifying, it’s less terrifying than being accused of a false crime. You swallow and nod, not trusting your voice. You silently walk up the stairs to your room. Your calf muscles ache with each step, but you don’t stop until you are in your room with the door locked.

You lean against the wall and just breathe. Your back slides down and you take your face in your hands. You stare at the window that was still open from earlier today. Your bottoms of your feet throb and your arms burn. A soft knock brings you out of your daze. “__? It’s just me. Can I come in?” you recognize Hoseok’s voice. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you say, not moving from your spot on the floor. The door opens slowly and Hoseok peeks around until he sees you with your knees to your chest. You look up with just your eyes and nod. “Hey,” He sits beside you with his legs crossed and looking out the same window.

“I just came to check up on you,” You respond with a hum. He slides down next to you with his legs crossed. “I’m real sorry for the way Jimin acted today. He just really care for this family. It’s all he has,” you nod, getting where Jimin was coming from.

“It’s fine, really. I was just shaken a bit,” you respond. “I’m just curious of why Namjoon came to get me. He’s the last person I’d expect,” He laughs under his breath.

“It looks like he really cares for you.”

You look at him and lift a brow. “Me? He barely knows me. I get he has some kind of obligation to keep me alive, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say he cares,” you brush off with a smirk.

“No really!” he sits up and looks at you with a grin. “I even offered to get you. He said he wanted to,” he covers his mouth as he laughs. You stare at the floor in silence, taking in his words.

“He’s confusing. One minute he wants to use me in the field and the next it’s this,” Hoseok’s laughter abruptly stops.

“You heard?” he asks, almost ashamed. You nod. “I-”, his words trail off. 

“It’s nothing really. It’s only logical to make a bad situation work in your favor. I don’t think I’d mind doing it either. I’m stuck here, might as well earn my keep,” you shrug a little too nonchalantly. Hoseok looks at you sternly.

“I don’t think you know what you are getting into. This isn’t the life you want,” his eyes bore into yours with each word.

But yours glare right back. “I know it’s not the life I want, but it was the life I was given. I’m already in this deep, and there’s no way around it,” His face falls into something sadder. As much as he wishes you were wrong, you weren’t. You pick yourself off the ground and look down at him with an unreadable face. “I appreciate the concern, though. It means a-” A deafening bang comes from below.

“That sound an awful lot like a gun,” he says in a voice barely above a whisper. You swing the door open and Hoseok scrambles behind you. Out of the hall and down the main stairs, you meet other members who also heard the same shot.

“Does anyone know where that came from?” Hoseok asks the group. Before anyone could answer, Namjoon walks out of a hall and into the foyer splattered in blood. No one moves a muscle or says a word.

“Found the rat. He had the insignia tattooed on his back like a dumbass. Before I shot him, he gave me some good info. Said his leader is to meet someone at one of their clubs tomorrow night. Luckily, I know the owner and can arrange something,” He turns to you with a tight jaw and takes a deep breath. “I need you to do something for me,” He rests a hand on your shoulder. Your head tilts and he takes it as a sign to proceed. “I need you to go undercover as a bartender and get any information you can about him: his whereabouts, his colleagues, anything. I know you have never done this before, but I am asking you out of necessity. I would send Jimin if I could, but they know his face too well. They know all of our faces,” He gets to eye level with you.

“Will you do that for me?” his voice grows softer. A beat later, you nod. The sincerity he held in his voice made it impossible to refuse. He stands up straight and speaks under his breath, “Good girl.” Meanwhile a knot of anxiety forms in your abdomen.

~~

The dimly lit club vibrates with bass heavy music. “Suni?” You whip around at the sound of your made-up name.

“Yes?” you answer. You find a short man standing behind you. Wrinkles around his eyes age his face.

“Namjoon told me you’d be coming. Follow me to the back and we’ll get you dressed,” Dressed? You didn’t think bartenders had a specific uniform. You follow him through the throngs of people. “When Namjoon told me he had a girl coming to see me, this was definitely not the situation I imagined,” You’d rather not imagine the situation. When he gets to the door that said “Women’s locker room”, he ushered you inside.

“Alright girls, this is Suni. She’s working tonight. Find her something nice to wear too,” his voice drops an octave as he finishes his sentence. He shuts the door behind you. Only one or two looked over, but you felt like the world was staring.

All the women in the locker room were obviously not bartenders or waitresses. They were dancers or more specifically strippers. Your face goes red and your shoulders bunch up. You couldn’t see your comfort zone with binoculars from where you were.

“Uh, I think there has been a... mistake? I’m here for a bartending job?” you stumble over your words. Your heartbeat quickens as the full weight of the situation bears on you. But the door slammed shut before he could even hear you. One of the girls finishes strapping on her shoes and walks to you.

“I think he has different plans for you,” she looks at you with a sympathetic smile. “This your first time dancing?” you nod slowly. “Don’t worry, I got you covered. Name’s Mimi by the way,” If you knew how to use your brain, you would have turned around and walked right back out that door to call Namjoon. But you don’t.

She takes you by the hand to a handful of lockers with various clothing. “You hear on a job?” she asks quietly. You start to panic. Your eyes widen and she shakes her head. “Don’t worry, I’ve seen plenty of girls hear for that reason. Your secret is safe with me,” Her gentle smile puts you more at ease.

 “How do you feel about a bikini set?” She shows you a red latex set and your heart leaps into your throat.

“Do you have anything, I don’t know, like... less revealing?” Your insecurities take reign of your voice as you speak between bared teeth.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You seem more like the shy type. So maybe we can pull some lighter colors? Nothing harsh like neons or black. A lot of guys are really into the whole innocent thing anyway. It’s refreshing,” she rambles before pulling you a lavender bodysuit. It was quite beautiful with the iridescent stones.

It reminded you of the vintage swimsuits with its high leg and deep v halter. “I think this would work. It’s pretty conservative for a dancer,”

“I’ll wear it,” you swallow your fear and change in the corner. You have been sent with a mission. You cannot compromise this. She lends you a pair of shoes with a thick clear heel and lavender feathers. She helps you get ready in a secluded part of the locker room and gives you advice.

“I wouldn’t try anything too crazy on the pole, we don’t want you getting hurt. Think of it as an accessory. Also, there is a no-touch rule on stage. However, if you get called for a private show, they can. Don’t be afraid to leave if someone gets too handsy. They still can’t have sex with you back there though. Don’t let them convince you they can, okay?” Her attempt at comfort only made it worse as your palms begin to sweat. You nod nevertheless and she ushers you onto the stage with her despite your objection.

“Remember, you are here for one reason. And that is to complete the job you have. Hesitation will only get you eaten alive here. So, go out there and do your job,” her words were firm and her gaze was steady. Before you can reply, you can hear the hollering and whistling. She takes you by the hand and struts to the mic. “Alright boys, this is Minx. This is her first night and she’s a little shy. So make her feel welcome,” she tosses her hair back and winks at the crowd. The lighted stage was divided up with two poles per section. The neon beneath the floor glowed red and purple as the song changed into something less generic.

She brings you to a pole and joins you. The bass in the music slows down into something more intimate. You watch Mimi first, absorbing the way her body moves smoothly with the music. You begin to pick up on the movement and began dancing too. You feel eyes pierce your body as you dance. Your ankle hooks around the pole and you twist around. With an arm wrapped around the pole, you follow the moves you’ve seen on youtube. You often went down internet rabbit holes and pole dancing is one of them. Luckily, you have kept your core strength from all those years of judo. Otherwise, you would be making a fool of yourself. 

You distract yourself, thinking about what exactly Namjoon needed to hear. You recall him mentioning the person of interest had a silver eyebrow piercing and rose-colored hair. You search the crowd for someone with these features. Your eyes catch the reflection of the stage lights against a small dot above the eyebrow of a man with blush-tone hair. Jackpot, you think. You focus your gaze on him. He smirks at you and rests his head on his knuckles. 

You push back the memory of your kidnapping. You try not to think about the bruises that covered your arms and legs because of him.

 Songs continue to play and you dance still. Your muscles burn, but you don’t let it show on your face. You’re not sure how you were going to hear him from the stage. You needed to get him during that meeting. It’ll probably be in a private room or somewhere quieter.  Make him take his guard down. Make him believe you aren’t a threat. Make eye contact with him. You roll your hips a little slower and run your hand through your hair a little more often.  You need him to notice you.

He looks down at his watch and walks away from his spot in the crowd. You curse silently. You can’t follow him in; you’d be noticed right away. You continue to dance but your mind is elsewhere. It isn’t until the same old man who brought you to the locker room whistles at you that you remember where you were standing. You glance at Mimi, and she nods you off. You peel off the stage and follow the old man silently. He takes you to a room with large chairs surrounding a table. 

The lights glow a neon red and the wall are painted black. Three men lounge in the chairs. You notice two other girls in the room as well. One is sitting in a lap and the other is pouring a drink. Then your eyes land on the man with pink hair. It was your lucky day, you might get to leave sooner than you thought. NCT’s leader beckons you closer with a single finger. Your shoulders bunch up and you clasp your hands in front of you. “Aw,” he coos. “We got a shy one,” He takes one of your hands and guides you on to his lap. You comply and hold back the vile feeling in your throat when he rests his hand on your ass.

They begin talking about various things such, most of them meaningless at first. Taeyong, you learned his name was, asks you to pour him a drink. You gently pour the drink without letting it splash. You hand it to him and take your seat on his lap once again. “Now let’s talk about what we actually came here to discuss,” You pretend to not listen. “I want to form an alliance,” Taeyong’s hand glides down your back and you try not to shiver. The statement was met with silence. You couldn’t believe he was planning something like this with outsiders in the room. Maybe he was just that cocky.

“Why?” one of the men finally said.

“We all know who’s controlling most of Seoul. I want to take him out and get back what was ours in the beginning. When we do, we’ll divide territory up equally. Everyone gets their share,” Taeyong says bluntly. You listen closely for names. The two men were called Suho and Wonho.

You learn that they want to start by taking the harbors. The rest of the talk is logistics and compromises. While they talk, you formulate the best way to get back to Namjoon and the others. While Suho and Wonho spoke, Taeyong holds the glass of brandy up to you. “Care for a drink?” You knew you couldn’t refuse, not in your circumstances. You nod and go to reach for it. “Ah ah ah,” he tuts. He lifts the glass to your lips and tilts it. The harsh liquor hits the back of your throat and burns on the way down. When he pulls the glass away, he gently wipes away the drop of brandy that escaped your lips. It was odd to you how gentle he was. Even though to him you were just a stripper, his touch was soft. “There you go, now maybe you can loosen up a bit. You seem a little tense. I promise not to hurt ya,” He glides his thumb back and forth across your hip in an almost comforting manner had it not been for the situation you were currently in.

“Okay,” you say quietly. Your shy demeanor and submissive behaviors were absolutely intoxicating to him. He begins to consider whether or not he should take you home. He’d love to see the way you’d blush when he face hovers just inches above yours.

But when the other men begin to leave, you disappear before he could even blink. You wanted to get out of that red room as soon as you could. You trace your steps back to the women’s locker room. Girls chatter back and forth and pay you no mind as you head to the bathroom. You lock yourself in a bathroom stall and call Namjoon. You lean against the cool stall wall trying to ground yourself. Your fried nerves only now begin to show as your hands shake when dialing the number. You look up to the ceiling and let out a ragged breath as the phone rings. “Hello?” he picks up.

“Namjoon is that you?” you ask.

“Yes of course. Is something wrong? You sound panicked,” you swallow hard.

“No no of course not. I- I’m finished. Can you send someone to get... me?” You try your best to keep your anxiety under control through your tight jaw.

“I’m on my way. I’ll get you from the back door. Don’t be alarmed if you see me wearing a face mask,”

You nod to yourself. “Okay, thank you,” you hang up.  You knew that if you kept busy that you wouldn’t panic.

So, you waste no time getting out of the purple bodysuit and back into the clothes you walked in with. You notice bruises beginning to form on your arms and leg. Mostly your forearms and shins where the pole was mostly. Unfortunately, your clothes didn’t cover up all the bruises. They still peeked out from beneath the hem of your pants and your sleeves.

You sit in a chair outside of the locker room with your arms wrapping around you. You bounce your knee and look up every once in a while. The back door was at the end of the hallway you were in. You try to drown out your anxiety by feeling the bass reverberate through your chest until Namjoon got you.

When the back door opens, you immediately stand up. Namjoon saw the startled look in your eyes and approached cautiously. “Alright, we can get out of here. Okay, I parked a block over so that no one could follow,” he gestures for you to follow him out the windowless door.

The sharp wind cuts into your bones the moment you step outside. Goosebumps prickle up your arm and you wrap your arms around yourself. Namjoon walked at your side down the sidewalk. He peeked over and noticed your shivering form. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he shrugs his jacket off. “Here. You must be freezing in that,” he drapes his long coat over your shoulders and you wrap it around yourself.

He found it amusing how small you looked. The coat that reached midthigh for him hung below the knee for you. You shuffled down the sidewalk as fatigue clings to your bones. 

When you reach the car, you slide into the passenger seat while he drives. “So what did you get?”

“They were talking about forming an alliance. There were two other people with him. I think their names were Suho and Wonho,” He purses his lips together. “They want to take Seoul back and split up territory among the three of them,”

“Wonho is Shownu’s right hand. I guess our alliance with the X’s is over,” Your face drops and you look over at him.

“Shownu?” He takes a quick glance and catches your eyes drooping. 

He nods. “I know he was your boss and all, but now we’re his target. This is why tomorrow I want to start training you and build your strength up,” 

You nod slowly and turn towards the window lazily. The conversation dropped off after that. You remained in silence for the duration of the ride home. When you reached home, Namjoon calls for a meeting between the seven members and you. You meet in the living room. The L-shaped couch fills up with bodies.

“Y/n has found out some new information tonight. Y/n, would you please tell the rest?” he turns to you. You nod before beginning.

“They want to form a three-way alliance. Including NCT, the X’s, and whoever Suho speaks for. They said they want to take back Seoul and split the territory. They wanted to overthrow whoever ‘owns Seoul’. They said they wanted to start by securing the harbors,” you repeat. You shrug off the coat Namjoon lent you and leaned forward. You rest your forearms on your knees and sigh.

“Then we need to be one step ahead of them,” V states simply. “We can station some of our men around our ports and wait for them to come to us,” The group nods in agreement. Your eyebrows knit together in thought. It wasn’t that his idea was not good, it just had flaws. Namjoon notices your troubled expression.

“Y/n, you look like you have something to say,” he says, turning a glance towards you, curious of what your were thinking.

“ I’m worried about letting them have the advantage of knowing. They can figure out that their plan to take the ports will be met with resistance, so they’ll be ready if we let them come to us. I'm not saying we should pull up and go in guns a’ blazing and dicks a’ swinging, of course. In fact, that’s about the worst idea given the lack of information you are working with. This little feud seems like it will turn into a war rather than a battle, so we’re in it for the long run. Might as well use our time wisely,” you offer. You are met with silence. “O-of course that’s just what I think. But I am just an outsider of course,” you stutter out after the quiet gets to you.

“There is a state dinner with all the leaders coming up. Of course, we can’t make a scene, but we can gain more information,” Namjoon adds on.

“The more we know about them, the better advantage we get,” Jin says. The group came to an unspoken agreement quickly thereafter. Quick glances to each other assure the leader.

“Are we just going to gloss over the fact that ‘guns a’  blazing and dicks a’ swinging’ just came out of __’s mouth?” Jungkook said. Muffled laughter turns into snickers and you shrug with a smirk.

“I have been told I have a way with words,” you return. To which Jungkook nods almost comically quick.

The laughter dies down and quiet side conversations are being held. You notice Hoseok, who was sitting next to you, staring at your arm. You remember the bruises. “Y/n, you didn’t get in a fight, did you? I wouldn't think the job would call for that,” he asks with worry laced in his voice.

You shake your head, “No, it’s nothing like that,” you brush off with a feigned laugh.

“I know you didn’t have those bruises when you left. So, what happened?” he asks. You freeze. You should tell him the truth, right? There is no reason to hide it. Even though what you did was slightly dehumanizing, there’s no reason for Namjoon to feel bad about sending you on the mission. Would he even feel bad? Maybe he’d think of you as less.

You swallow hard and tell Hoseok anyway, praying the other six were not paying attention. “Let’s just say that I didn’t get to be a bartender tonight. The owner of the club had different ideas,” you say under your breath.

Hoseok’s face drops. “You don’t mean you had to...” he trails off. “He made you pretend to be a stripper?” he looks at you horrified. You press your lips into a thin line and nod slightly, trying not to draw attention to it.

His face suddenly gains a grim almost angry look. “They didn’t touch you, did they?” he asks in a low voice.

“Not i-in the way you’re thinking,” your shoulders bunch. Little to your knowledge, the other conversations halted and attention was focused on you two. “Nothing too bad I g-guess,” you fold in in yourself, recalling the lingering touches.

“Hold on. Touch you? Y/n, what happened?” Namjoon asks, a face of worry overcoming him.

“She didn’t get to be a bartender like you said she would. They made her strip on stage and sounds like being a personal ‘companion’ for Taeyong,” Hoseok answers with a grimace before you can try to come up with a euphemism to down play the situation.

Namjoon rests his head on his hands and runs his fingers through his hair. “No wonder you called me frantic,” he kneads his temples with his fingers. and mutters to himself. “God, I’m an idiot,”

“It’s not your fault so don’t feel bad. I mean, this is just a part of being a part of the job I guess?” You respond callousedly. Hoseok shakes his head fervently.

“No it’s not. It’s not okay,” he says. You bite down in your lip as sympathetic gazes land on your sunken in form.

“He’s right. I promise I won’t let you be put in that situation ever again,” Namjoon swears. “I promise to keep you safe.”

[humansofoz]

March 12, 2019

“You May encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” - Maya Angelou 

Lizeth Ortega Ramirez. 21. SUNY Oswego Sophomore.

HoOz- What was your greatest struggle at age 16?

Lizeth- Two years before I turned 16 I was going through some personal problems with my parents. I’m not gonna get into details but long story short, I found out something about my dad and I kind of confronted him and he basically denied everything. You know how when you’re little you have that image of your dad that he’s the best dad in the world and he’s your hero and all that stuff. I was like yeah he’s never gonna do anything to hurt me or whatever. Then I found that out and I’m not being dramatic but I was sad. It was a bad time for me. So fast forward to when I was 16, I was still holding that grudge. After I found that out my relationship with him changed completely. Even more so because when I told my mom she didn’t believe me. So I was like wow, if my mom doesn’t even believe what I’m saying it’s like… So I felt alone. I kind of distanced myself from my dad after that happened and during my teen years until I turned 18. It was hard because I was really close to him when I was younger. We used to do everything together. He’s older than my mom so I feel like he has more patience when he’s with kids. I was able to go out and play with him. My mom wouldn’t go out and play with me. It was my dad. So during that time I isolated myself from my family. It was sad because I had my sister and she was like five years old at the time so I was like I don’t want my sister to see that I’m not having a good relationship with my dad right now and her having to make an idea of my dad that is not the truth. After I got over it I was like at the end of the day he’s my dad. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. I just had to get over it myself. I had to say okay I’m gonna stop acting like this because I didn’t want how I felt about my dad to affect my overall relationship with my family and my sister. So yeah, I would say that was on of my struggles at that age.

HoOz- What is your relationship with your parents like now?

Lizeth- We are super close. I feel like no one is as close as I am with my parents. Since I was little, we’ve always been so open to share everything with them. If I liked someone from my school, I would just tell my mom “hey mom, I like him!” and she would be like “oh yeah, tell me more about it!” We’ve always had that type of relationship and I feel like I’m really lucky to have that with my parents because I don’t think a lot of people have that. I appreciate that a lot. My parents have always tried to be like as open as they can and always trying to make me a part of the family. You know when you have kids your parents usually keep their problems to themselves just to not make the kids feel overwhelmed or worried about stuff that they shouldn’t. I totally understand that but I feel like them sharing all their problems with me has also made me the person that I am today. I am able to understand that they had to work even on the weekends to pay for my school sometimes. When I look back, I see some of my friends from back in Peru, their parents worked every single day and they had less money than us and they would wear clothes that were so expensive. The kids would be like oh yeah my parents have so much money and I would be like hmm okay. I never wore known brands when I was little back in Peru. Until I came here because it was cheaper and I also started working. My parents always kept it real with me and I appreciate that a lot because in a way that made me more mature at a younger age. It also made me strong because now when I have to struggle with money or anything in general I just have my feet on the ground and just keep working because that’s how you achieve things. Nothing falls from the sky. Nothing is free, you have to work for it and I’ve always been that type of person. My parents taught me that since I was little.

HoOz- What was it like to grow up in Peru?

Lizeth- Very different. Now that I’m here and I’m older and I can see my little nephews who are growing up here, there culture is so different. Even though my cousins are Hispanic and from Peru too. One of my cousins, he’s Peruvian and his wife is from Colombia and she also grew up back in Colombia. I feel like the way you are raised here is just so different. She’s a little crazy. She doesn’t let the kids do anything. When I was a kid my mom would let me do anything. She would let me play on the floor and then she would give me my bath before going to bed. I was in touch with nature. I don’t know if it’s just because my parents were that way. I think I was raised in a very particular way to be honest. I just feel like it was thanks to the morals and the values that my parents hold. They’ve always been very hardworking people. My mom started working whens he was 16 and my dad as well, so I come from a working family. We are a working family. And I started working here when I was in my junior year of high school. Now that I see my sister who is growing up here, I feel like she’s not gonna have that sense of cultural appreciation like I do and that kind of makes me sad because I’m like wow, you’re not gonna know how to dance this Peruvian dance. When I was in elementary and middle school, they would teach you how to dance all those traditional Peruvian dances. She had that for like three years and she is 11 and she’s been here for two years so I feel like she’s already forgotten about all of that. Or maybe she remembers but just barely. It’s just gonna be a memory. But for me, it was a way of living. When I came here I remember I had to go to high school. I had to take the school bus, I couldn’t go out and play with my friends, which is something that you can do back in Peru because the houses are closer to each other. The neighbors don’t look the same as they do here. I was able to be outside until like 8:00pm and play with my friends and all that stuff. My sister can’t do that. If she wants to go play with her friends you have to drive her all the way to her friends house and pick her up at like 6:30. So it’s very different.

HoOz- You’re involved in the Women’s Center. Why are women’s rights important to you?

Lizeth- Well first of all I’m a woman, so that should answer your question. But growing up in a family where my dad is the only male in the household with three women, he and my mom always taught me and my sister to make everyone respect you and make your voice be heard. They were like for everyone else to respect you, you have to respect yourself first. Sometimes back in Peru there is that culture where the male is more important than the female and it was not like that in my house. My dad would be like you have a voice and you can speak your mind respectively of course. When people ask me why I’m all for women’s rights, sometimes I feel like they’re saying that I want to diminish men’s rights but that’s just not me. I feel like women’s rights are just as important as men’s rights. We’re all humans at the end of the day. I definitely feel like growing up in a house with three females really taught me to respect and value myself and say yeah, I’m important too and I can be just as successful as any male. When I came here I was happy that I was able to join the Women’s Center as a committee member first. I got involved with them during the second semester of my freshman year and I just loved it. I feel like Women’s Center really gives that platform to students to show their support for women’s rights and the LGBTQ community because we also speak about that. We also touch on how males can be our allies. I feel like women’s rights shouldn’t just be an important topic to females. It should be important to everybody. I’m really happy to see that in this school we have a lot of people that care about that and not just females, but males as well.

HoOz- How has being involved with the Women’s Center and advocating for women’s rights impacted your personal growth?

Lizeth- I’ve always liked to be involved since I was little. When I came here and did my two years of high school, I wasn’t able to get very involved because I was focused on finishing high school and being able to apply to college. So when I came here and got involved with Women’s Center and the other clubs that I’m in, I feel like I was able to go back to the person that I am because I kind of felt lost while I was in high school here. You know, just going from school to my house and then work. Of course I wasn’t the typical high school student because I was older, but it made me feel like an outsider. So when I came here and I got involved with these clubs, I kind of found my place and where I belonged. It’s definitely helped me a lot with getting out of my comfort zone. I have to talk to a lot of people to help organize different programs or events. It’s helped me a lot with networking and offering a connection for students if they want to join a club that fights for women’s rights and human rights.

HoOz- If you could tell your future self one thing what would it be?

Lizeth- I would tell my future self to keep fighting for everything she believes in. It’s never easy to do that but just don’t let anybody who is trying to bring you down, bring you down. Just keep fighting.

[tellytantra]

So Atar Matar Aryan was out of the closet with Veer's trick! He was bought to tarnish the image of Oberois but the situation was handled well by them in Rudra and Bhavya's Gift Ceremony. However there were two people absolutely anxious tonight. One for holding the secret and the other for being kept in dark about the same.It hurt more because there was a vow taken in their relationship that whatever life threw at them they would tell each other and handle it together. But each time one of them would forget this rule in the relationship n surge ahead in danger annoying the better half. Anika being at the recieveing end everytime knew how it felt n thus today keeping Shivaay in dark wasnt happy about the same.Especially when past an hour he hadn't looked in her direction.  Will Anika be able to explain and justify her act of hiding Aryan? Will Shivaay understand Anika's decision for keeping him in dark? Thwisha16 When the gift ball opened, Atar Matar Aryan fell right into Rudra's lap. Everybody around looked baffled & surprised. Shivaay looked at Anika and one glance at her he knew that this is what she was hiding for the reasons best known to her. But currently that was not important. They had to deal with the mess at present thus Shivaay took matters in his hand before Veer could call Media. He kept the party going much to Veer's annoyance. Thus, Saumya and Veer left the party to hatch their big plan of bride swap day after tomorrow.  An hour went by interacting with the guests and despite of the continuous efforts to make him see in her direction she was royally ignored by her husband. Generally in their relationship he has been the one always hiding things for their benefit. But whatever benefit it had she always felt the other person has the right to know. So today after hiding Aryan from him despite of him seeing the boy in the kitchen the other day she felt bad of what she chose to do.  To lighten the atmostphere at Rudra's Gift ceremony, Pinky came forward and gave Bhavya hand in Rudra's and urged them to dance. Following them other couples took centre stage too. While Om reached out to Gauri asking her for the dance, Shivaay moved out of the circle pretending to interact with more guests. Anika understanding the non chalant behaviour, walked right to him and in front of other guest asked for a dance. Unable to ignore his wife anymore they walked to the dance floor since when a wife asks, a man must listen.  Lights dimmed creating the right atmostphere and a song played in the background Baatein teri karte huyeThak ke so jaati hoonSirhaane aasmaan I sleep under the sky tired, speaking about you. As their feet moved in tandem to the song Anika conveyed in her thoughts, I wanted to tell you thing under the open starlit sky, but I chose not to. Defying him when he asked in the kitchen about Aryan, she chose not to say anything coz she wanted to take matters in her own hands n not burden him. But not she is tired and and under the star lit sky wants to fall asleep in his arms.  Jaane kahan mud jaati haiDekhte dekhte tujhe ye galiyaanTeri tarah khushboo chaleTaare humari tarah raaton se mile I look at you but the curves of the road make you vanish from my sight. I feel your fragrance in the air, when I see the stars meet like us in the darkness of night. Looking into his eyes holding onto his shoulders a little more tightly she conveys the curves that this journey is taking I feared losing the sight of you & I didn't want to burden you with the truth.Taking in his unique fragrance she nuzzles in his ears making him understand her position. Suni nahiZamaane ne teri meri kahaniyaanKarde koiNawashein karam meharbaaniyaan The world didn't listen to our story. Please someone have mercy upon us and do kindness.  Not giving in just yet and not letting her torture him anymore with her closeness he twirls her facing her back. Adamant she tells him I know the world doesn't understand me but I faith in you. She twirls back hand still in his hand she nudges him to look into her eyes and despite of all the planning and plotting to convey there is still hope. Once again facing him joining their foreheads all the time dancing to the rhythm she prays to the god for its mercy upon them and grant their wish.Ye aarzoo thi ke dekhein yeh duniyaHum jaisa koi deewana hi nahiKarde koiNawashein karam meharbaaniyaanWe had desired that the world would see upon us and think that there no one as loving as we are. Please someone have mercy upon us and shower kindness upon us.Now resting on him with hands on his heart dancing to the last bits of the rhythm she she feels sorry for keeping him in dark and prays to god to show mercy and and kindness to get them out of this situation.  Before Shivaay could keep his hands on his the music stops and he has broken out of their reverie and thus moves away from her towards the guests.  After some time the party gets over it's decided that Aryan will sleep with Rudra tonight. After making Aryan sleep in his room everybody retire to their respective rooms. As Anika travels the corridor sad that Shivaay has still not heard her out and she needs some time to explain him things he sees her walking ahead of him loosening his bow tie. She calls out for him but he doesn't seem in a mood to listen. Determined that she needs to speak to him, she takes faster steps and reaches the room before him, " Atleast hear me out, I had my reasons. Didn't you tell me you will wait till  I come and tell you. " Ignoring all that he goes to change. Anika closing the door behind waits for him to come out. He enters the room post the change and is about to retire to bed when she holds him from behind.  A: "itni narazgi ki ab baat bhi nahi karenge mujhse? S: " ab kyun baat karni hai, jab pani sar ke upar ja chukka hai. I told you that I was worried seeing you worried. I asked you what was bothering you. But you chose not to say. So why should I hear you out now? A: " Shivaay I didn't want to burden you with things since you were already prepalexed with veer antics. S:  "Toh aur ab kya hua, burden toh ab bhi hai, par iss baat ka zyada afsos hai ki tumhe kuch bother kar raha tha but you chose not to share with me because I would get worried. Didn't I say I get worried when I see you worried? Is not involving me in the plan more important than burdening yourself? Chalo theek hai may be you thought I was incapable of solving it for you Or u wanted to solve it yourself. Theeke phir dikhao apni anekta mein ekta aur solve karo sab khud mil ke. Aage se mujhe kuch bhi batane ki zarurat nahi hai." Anika had tears in her eyes which ofcourse shivaay cudnt see. So he decided to sleep since they had bigger battles to fight tomorrow. He told Anika to sleep promising that they will talk tomorrow.  Early morning Anika got up looking for Shivaay, who was already up and sipping his saira bano with a newspaper. She greeted him with a good morning. Since he wanted he conversation to be on between them he replied politely, "There is nothing good about this morning. Get ready, Veer has called in the doctor for a DNA Test. Congratulations we need to get through this now. Saying this he went out of the room.  He needed some time alone to think what could be done. In an hour the doc would be coming for a DNA test which ofcourse would be false. After rattling his brains which seems to stop working without Anika by his side, he made a few calls regarding the situation and waited patiently for the some visitors. Now he was getting tired of Veer's stupid games and wanted to tackle him head on. And currently his tiff with Anika would have made him punch Veer harder! Finally Aryan's real parents walked in to take him back and in one swift move he had checkmated Veer and Saumya who now panicked as Rudra wedding got preponed and was to take place tomorrow.   By the time everything got over it was night and after dinner with the marriage being preponed everybody retired to bed early. Since tommrow would be a long day! Anika had waited whole day patiently to talk to him and now was her time. She decided she will no longer take his silence and thus barged in the room where Shivaay was sitting sipping his saira bano trying to calm his nerves down with the laptop to give him company. She closed the door behind her and pulled in the curtains.  Shivaay sensing the upcoming drama told her, "Anika I m in no mood for anything like this" A: "But I m in the mood for everything like this. Kabhi kabar aapko meri bhi sun leni chaiye. S: Baffled by her accusation, "Tum toh aise bol rahi ho jaise ki main tumhari sunta hi nahi hun. Walk back down your memory lane n try to remember how many times I came n asked you, "Is there any problem? Par nahi kisi ko toh jhansi ki rani banna hai. Sab kuch khud se karna hai and ab toh ekta bhi hai with both the daughter in laws joining you. Shivaay jaye bhaad mein, nahi?" She tried hugging him to calm him down, but he gestured not to be near him.  A: Surprised with his gesture, she conveyed, "Shivaay, abhi zyada ho raha hai. S: "Zyada? Abhi toh kuch hua hi kahan hai? jab main kuch chupaun toh mere peeche pad pad ke u want to know everything. When I want space to think u don't even let me think over it giving me a big lecture on our so called Vows. Par jab tum chupao toh nari Shakti zindabad!Isnt this wrong?.  A: "I just wanted to be sure who was behind Aryan. S: "Whats there to be sure about? You  all were sure it isn't ours. So isn't it obvious someone planned it. And who can plan it other than veer? He repeated in Anika's language the *Logic* gesture.  Anika wanted to smile in this serious situation but controlled herself as she saw Shivaay was in full mood to act like her and rant his heart out, because he felt bad that she didn't include him in the plan. So silently she heard him out.  S: Continuing, "I thought we are a team first, Anika. I thought when a problem arises and you need a place to go to, I will be your hiding place. But no u want to depict nari Shakti these days toh theeke go and get yourself empowered, leave me alone!  With that he tried moving out of the room but all he heard was *splash*!By the time Shivaay struggled to get out of water Anika was in. Holding him close she wrapped his hand around her and he asked, "And what do u think you are doing? A: "Are you trying to behave like me, giving me dose of my own medicine? Shivaay laughing in his mind, controlled himself not letting go of the act said, "Havent I had enuf drama in my life that I add more by doing all this! A: "Well u weren't listening to me and moved out so this was the only way I could put water on your plans of running away from me without my permission.  Shivaay raised his eyebrows on "Your Permission? I see! Cutting the long story short, when he turned away from her, she made him look at her and said, "I'm sorry Shivaay, infact I'm very very sorry, yeh dobara nahi hoga.  S: With that kind of plea from his doe eyed wife he couldn't resist, "That's all you want to say?  A: "Yes, that's all I want to SAY that it won't be repeated again. With some mischief in her eyes, she added "But if You want I can DO a lot many things for You. Shivaay understanding the underlined statement, smiled "Acha ji! But for that we will have to get out of the water first. Anika nodded and together they started to walk out of water before she held by his collar, "Somebody said he wants SPACE in this relationship, well I can give YOU some if u want.  Taking in the sarcasm, he held her close with their bodies colliding right into each other touching at the right places, "In our relationship, not even a inch of space I want. And he sealed his thought with a deep kiss retiring for the night with absolutely no spaces in between them. Also each tasting their own medicine at respective time intervals, made mental note to not hide anything from one other and be each other's hiding place whenever the need arises. 

http://jodifiction.blogspot.com/2020/05/shivika-os-i-thot-i-was-ur-hiding-place.html