#felt like i had to say rhis just in case

[mylas-stash]

OK BUT SERIOUSLY. I REALLY APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE WHO REBLOG MY ART WITH FUNNY TAGS AND/OR JUST TAG THEM AS #FAV/#INSPO

It's really hard to explain because my grammar is such shit right now but.

Thank you guys?? You silly people on my phone never fail to make me so happy and jump across the room whenever I get a notification like that because it motivates me to keep on posting art and keep on posting here on tumblr in general

what tumblr does to a self-taught artist fr.../Positive

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[lovevalley45]

#fictober22 day twelve

"You're making my head hurt"

original fiction

word count: 853

Most people, when finding out their roommate was a werewolf, would either be in utter denial or freak out on the spot. That depended on how they found out, of course. If their roommate told them, they’d deny and deny until there was irrefutable proof in front of their eyes. If they came home to a full werewolf in their living room, they would pass out within moments of processing the sight in front of them.

Josie had figured her roommate was most people, specifically when it came to the denial part. For all the time she’d known Rhiannon, she had been pursuing her Masters in biology and ruthlessly logical. She was the type of person who scoffed at Bigfoot and Mothman and detailed all the actual reasons for the phenomena surrounding their myths. 

To put it bluntly, Josie thought Rhiannon was a buzzkill. A buzzkill who was very hot when detailing why all her favorite cryptids were hoaxes, but a buzzkill nevertheless. So when she did in fact cross paths with a werewolf and made it out with her life and a story, she didn’t dare bring it up with her roommate. 

That didn’t stay a secret for long. 

She supposed she’d been wrong about Rhiannon being most people. Instead of passing out when coming back from drinking with her fellow peers, she had smacked her over the head with her laptop bag and knocked her out embarrassingly fast.

Now, Josie was slumped over a cup of coffee, feeling extremely thankful she hadn’t broken the coffee machine in her lycanthropic rampage. She was sure she might have had a concussion. Meanwhile, Rhiannon sat across from her with her hands clamped around her mug, staring off into space as she most likely processed her new reality. 

Eventually, she broke the silence. “So, how are you going to disprove this?”

Rhiannon blinked a few times, before finally prying her hands away from her mug to readjust her glasses. “Well, I… I can’t. After all-” she gestured to the wreckage of their apartment- “It’s hard to disprove all this. What can I say? Oh, it wasn’t the beast you turned into last night, just a rodent infestation?”

“They’d have to be some big rodents,” Josie muttered. 

“What happened?” Rhiannon asked. 

“Well, I was watching Netflix when it got dark out and-”

She waved her off. “No, not that.” She took out her phone and opened it to her voice recording app, leaning closer with her elbows pressed against the table. “How did you become a werewolf?”

Josie suddenly felt very nervous, with Rhiannon’s big brown eyes focused entirely on her. She didn’t think the encounter was very impressive, but she cleared her throat anyways. “I, uh, well… I was in the forest with my friend Cynthia, you know Cynthia? She wanted to go foraging and asked me to come with her so she wouldn’t get jumped in the woods. And I knew it was a full moon, so I brought my camera just in case.”

At that, Rhiannon lit up. 

“I didn’t get any good pictures, Rhi. I just… So Cynthia had gone ahead without me, and I heard this noise, and BAM! Something had me in a bear hug, and we grappled for a moment. Obviously, I wasn’t more powerful than this thing, but it got its claws into me before seemingly realizing I was a human and withdrawing. Cynthia had brought her first aid kit - God, I love her - and bandaged it up and everything. She’d used a disinfectant wipe so I kinda thought, hey, no werewolf danger here!” Josie sighed. “Guess I was wrong.”

“So it must be something stronger than a normal virus. Of course it must be,” Rhiannon muttered. 

“Hm?”

“I wanna do tests. If it’s fine with you, of course. Maybe a blood sample, a few to be safe. Then there’s all the myths.” She grinned. “Your cryptids are so easy to disprove because there’s no actual proof. Nothing that can actually be provable, at least.”

“Wait, wait-” Josie groaned. “You wanna, what, do tests on me?”

“Yes, I just said that.”

“Sorry, you’re making my head hurt. Or maybe it’s because you cracked my skull with your old-ass laptop,” she complained. 

Rhiannon exhaled. “I’m sorry for bashing you on the head. But I don’t think my laptop is enough to cause you brain damage.”

“It knocked me out!”

She waved her hand again. “Listen, Josie. This could be big. I’m not reworking my thesis for this, of course, but you always want to prove those cryptids and myths you love so much are real! And now you’re living, tangible proof!” There was a glint in her eye that made her start to fear this was her roommate’s descent into her mad biologist era. “What do you say?”

Josie considered it for a moment. She had a point, after all. And although she wasn’t psyched about blood samples or being treated like a test subject, she thought it could be pretty fun.

Also, that meant spending more time with Rhiannon. And she couldn’t complain about that.

“Alright. I’m in.”

[raindancer2004]

Two’s Company, Fours a Party!

Word count: 5,124 Demetri x OC x Felix x OC Oneshot Warning: Fluff, mentions of alcohol, VERY NSFW!!

Summary: What happens when Demetri and Felix’s mates share a secret fantasy with them? Will they be open to fulfilling that fantasy or will they decline and leave their mates with just their fantasy?

Demetri and Felix have been best friends for centuries ever since Felix joined the Volturi. Demetri met his mate Natalia about nine months before Felix met his mate Rhianne. Natalia was pleased when Rhianne moved into the castle as they were a similar age and it meant there would be another human in the castle besides the Secretary.

It didn’t take long for the girls to become friends, best friends in fact as they spent a lot of time together whist their vampire were mates on guard duty and away on missions. The girls were able to wander the castle and the grounds freely as none of the lower or transitory guards were stupid enough to harm the girls knowing who they were mated too.

Demetri and Felix were guard duty overnight so Natalia and Rhianne decided to get a couple of bottles of wine in and some popcorn and have a girl’s night in in Demetri and Natalia’s shared room. After a few drinks the girls start talking about their love lives with their mates as they have done many times before, only this time they share a little secret fantasy with one another. “Can I share a secret with you?” Rhianne asks and Natalia nods “Of course hunny.” Rhianne takes a sip of her wine before sharing “I have a fantasy about being with someone that isn’t Felix…” “Who?” Natalia asks curiously, cutting her off, Rhianne hesitated for a moment “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours” Natalia said with a smile and took a sip of her wine “Demetri” She responded and Natalia chuckled “Oh my god. I don’t feel so bad now…” “What do you mean?” Rhianne asked a little confused “I’ve thought about Felix fucking me a few times” Rhianne smiled at her friend “It’s kinda like wife swap” Natalia giggled before replying “Or vampire swap in our case” Both girls fell about laughing.

Once they finished laughing Rhianne looked at her friend and pouted “Shame it’ll remain a fantasy” “What would remain a fantasy?” Demetri’s smooth voice sounds from the doorway, Felix standing behind him. “Y-you’re ba-back early?” Natalia stutters “The kings retired to their rooms so we are no longer needed. We thought we could join movie night” Felix replies as he shuts the door behind him. “Although I’m curious about this fantasy” Demetri adds as he hangs up his cloak and turns to face his mate.  

The girls felt their cheeks heat up in a blush and take their bottom lips between their teeth. “Come on girls, share your fantasy with us” Felix says as he crouches down in front of his mate “Unless you want it to remain just a fantasy” Demetri added as he too crouched down in front of his mate. The girls looked at one another and nodded “Well…you know how much I love you Fe…” He nodded at Rhianne “…well I have fantasies about being with Demetri…intimately” Her voice was low as she looked into his red eyes, which went wide with shock but before he could respond Natalia’s soft voice spoke up “And Dem I love you more than anything but…I have thought about being fucked by Felix…on more than one occasion” It was Demetri’s turn to be shocked and both vampires remained silent. The girls sat back and waited for their mates to process what they had just told them.

A few moments later and Felix spoke up “So Rhi you want to fuck Demetri and Nat you want to fuck me?” The girls nodded “It’s a fantasy of ours but it doesn’t change how we feel about you” Natalia said as she held Demetri’s hand in hers “So it would be a one off, to get it out of your systems?” Demetri asked and again they nodded. “Think of it as ticking something of our human bucket list before you turn us” Rhianne added and Natalia nodded in agreement.

Demetri and Felix looked at each other for a few moments, seeming to have a private conversation “If we were to agree to this, then there would be a few rules…” “Of course” The girls replied together cutting Demetri off “Firstly, it takes place in here as our room only shares a wall with Felix’s room” Demetri added “Sounds good” Rhianne nodded “Secondly, all four of us are in here when the swap happens…” “Agreed” Natalia said with a smile. Demetri took Nat’s hand in his as he spoke “Thirdly, as Felix doesn’t know what you like or enjoy sexually, you will pick a safe word so that if you don’t like something he does or want to stop, you say the word and it stops. Same with Rhianne and I” “We can do that” The girls reply together. “So, tomorrow night it is as we have the weekend off” Felix adds smiling.

Felix and Rhianne arrive at Demetri and Natalia’s shared room the following evening to play out the girl’s fantasies. Rhianne is wearing a black dress and stilettos with a red lacy bra and panties on underneath. Natalia is wearing a short black skirt and top with a blue lacy bra and panties on underneath, a pair of stilettos completing the outfit. Demetri and Felix both wore black trousers although Felix wore a grey shirt, Demetri a blue one.

The girls felt a little nervous at being with their mate’s best friend but excited at the same time, especially as they would all be in the room as this takes place.

“You both look gorgeous tonight” Demetri compliments them as he eyes both girls from head to toe and back again, Felix doing the same “Ready girls?” Felix asks with a smile and they nod “Yes.”

Felix pulls Natalia into him gently; one hand cupping her cheek and leans down and places his lips against hers briefly before pulling away. She places her hands on his shirt and he kisses her again, licking her bottom lip. She opens her mouth and their tongues gently dance together exploring each other. “I’m bigger than D, so I’m going to get you nice and ready for me” He said low in her ear as his hands ran down her arms, fingers brushing her sides continuing down to the back of her thighs. He lifted her up so her legs were resting on his shoulders “Show off” Demetri murmured, Felix ignored him and placed a kiss to her lace covered core. He ripped her panties away with his teeth before licking her from core to clit giving the bundle of nerves a quick flick with his tongue, a soft sigh fell past her lips. His large hands were on her ass supporting her as his tongue delved deep inside her licking her, tasting her “Ahh” She breathed out as her head fell backwards, his tongue continuing its assault inside her, swapping from slow deep thrusts to quick flicks against her inner walls. “Felix” She moaned his name as she came, her hot sweet release coating his tongue. It was his turn to moan as he lapped up her release eagerly, liking the fact that she tasted so different to his mate.

Meanwhile, Demetri lead Rhianne over to his desk and lifted her onto it before dropping to his knees and parting her legs “Relax sweetheart, I’ll look after you” Demetri said softly and kissed her panty covered core, sucking gently through the lace, a soft moan left her lips, causing him to smile against her before he sucked a little harder. Demetri’s fingers stroked her once through her panties before he ripped them away from her and buried his head between her thighs. His lips wrapped around her clit and he sucked harshly. “Oh” She called out as she felt two cold slender fingers enter her heated core “So wet for me already” He smirked up at her and she blushed, biting her bottom lip. He pushed his fingers in slow and deep a few times before curling them inside her, brushing her walls and he smiled as he felt her body react to his touch. His tongue swirled and flicked her clit as he continued to fuck her with his fingers. Her walls clenched around them and he knew she was close. He added a third finger and pushed them in deeper, hitting that spot over and over, a few moments later and she came, her release coating his fingers completely. He placed his fingers in front of her mouth and tapped her lower lip, she opened her mouth and sucked his fingers clean. She let out a soft moan as she tasted herself on his fingers, the sound piquing his curiosity. He wanted to know how she tasted so he slipped his tongue between her wet, glistening folds, liking the taste of her sweet cum, although it was nothing compared to the taste of his mate.

Demetri gently takes Rhianne’s hand in his and leads her over to the bed before slowly removing her dress exposing her red lacy bra to him. He trails his fingers over the swell of her breasts and leans in to kiss her whilst he removes her bra revealing her breasts to him. “Gorgeous” He kissed her again and felt her fingers undo the buttons on his shirt, her hands moving up his chest and over his shoulders taking the shirt with her. She then undid his trousers letting them fall to the floor. He stepped out of them and watched as she knelt down in front of him and removed his boxers. Her tongue poked out and licked the precum that was leaking from his hard cock. She wrapped her lips around him and sucked and licked him, eliciting a low growl from him. She felt his fingers in her hair and she released him pulling back to look up at him “As much as I would enjoy that sweetheart, tonight is about living out your fantasy” He helped her to stand and kissed her, his arm holding her close.

“Lay on the bed Rhi and tell me how you want me to take you” She did as he said and replied “Like this” As she got on her hands and knees on the bed. He climbed on the bed behind her, running his fingers through her folds collecting a little of her arousal and rubbed his hand over his cock before entering her from behind, sliding deep inside her with ease “Demetri” She sighed his name as he started to fuck her slowly. “Harder Demetri, please” He smiled into her neck “As you wish” He pulled almost all of the way of out of her before thrusting back inside her hard and deep “Fuck…yes.” He chuckled “You like it rough little human?” She nodded and he growled as he took hold of her hair and gave it a harsh tug “Use your words or I’m going to fuck you sooo slowly…I mean we do have all night after all” She whimpered and replied “Yes” “Good girl” He whispered in her ear and slammed his cock into her roughly. “Oh yes.” He sped up his thrusts, getting deep inside her with each snap of his hips. He tugged on her hair again, but a little rougher than before and she moaned loudly, the sound music to his ears. He smiled against the skin of her neck before kissing her, sucking the skin there and smirked when he saw he had left a mark there. He never thought he would enjoy being with another once he met his mate but he was enjoying himself, although it was nothing like when he was with Nat. Nothing could beat sex with his mate.

He was turned on though seeing his mate being fucked by his best friend whilst he fucked his friend’s mate, knowing his friend was watching him too.

Meanwhile, Felix had removed Natalia’s skirt, top and bra and laid her on her back upon the bed and quickly removed his clothes before joining her on the bed, settling himself between her thighs. Her eyes widened at the size of his long, thick cock and noticed the precum glistening at the tip. She sat up and swirled her tongue over him, tasting him. He moaned in satisfaction before repeating Demetri’s words “Tonight is about living out your fantasy” She nodded and laid back down opening her legs a little wider and watched as he palmed himself, coating his cock with his arousal and entered her slowly, she winced a little as he was not only bigger than her mate, he was thicker too. Felix stilled for a moment to allow her to adjust to him before he began moving in and out of her slowly. “Felix” His name slipped from her lips as she lifted her hips to meet him thrust for thrust. He gently took her hands and raised them above her head holding them in place with one large hand. His other hand moved down to massage one of her breasts, fingers playing with her nipple as his lips closed around the other. His tongue and fingers moving in sync as he played with her nipples, her body writhing in pleasure beneath him “Oh….Fe…” Hearing his name leave Nat’s lips pleased him as it meant she was enjoying being with him although it felt different to when his mate calls his name. He left a trail of kisses across her skin, working his way from her breasts to her collarbone continuing up her neck before reaching the sweet spot below her ear. He gently bit her as he thrusted into her a little deeper, being careful to not break the skin.

He was enjoying fulfilling Nat’s fantasy and felt his arousal grow as he watched his mate being fucked by his best friend.

The girls turned their heads looking at each other and Rhianne leaned down and kissed her friend, licking her lips asking for entrance. Natalia parted her lips allowing Rhianne to deepen the kiss, their tongues moving against each other sensually. Demetri and Felix watched as their mates shared a deep and passionate kiss, the sight increasing their arousal as they continued to fuck the girls. Felix and Demetri looked at each other and nodded, giving both girls a rough, hard thrust, their moans muffled by the kiss. The girls broke the kiss as their mates gave them another rough, hard thrust. “Oh fuck yes!” The girls cried out in pleasure, the sound filling the room along with the sound of flesh slapping flesh.

“Let me touch you Fe” Nat asked and he nodded smiling at her as her warm hands made their way up his arms to his shoulders, nails lightly scratching him. A low guttural moan left him and it surprised the other three a little, she repeated the action and felt his free hand apply pressure to her throat, chocking her a little “Is this ok?” He asked “God yes” She cried out and moved her head back a little to allow him to choke her a little more. “Forgot to mention your little human likes to be choked” Felix said low to Demetri “Like you forgot to mention that yours likes it rough” Demetri replied low as he gave her another rough thrust.

Felix continued his slow, deep thrusts in and out of Nat whilst increasing the pressure slightly around her neck. He felt her walls flutter around him and knew she was close to her second orgasm of the night. “You need to cum little one?” “Y-yes” He gave her a slow kiss as he held her leg to his hip and slid in a little deeper, hitting a spot inside her “Oh Felix” Her voice sounding breathy as he had a firm grip on her throat. Her warm release coated his cock as her walls clenched around him, pulling him over the edge. Her eyes were squeezed shut, as she felt him fill her deeply, his cold release leaving no place untouched. Her name left his lips as he came hard inside her. He rolled them over so he was on his back with her lying on his chest and gently rubbed her back, pressing a kiss to her hair “That was great Felix” Her voice was low “Glad you enjoyed it as much as I did” He replied.

Meanwhile, Demetri tightened his hold on Rhianne’s hair as he continued to take her from behind, being rough with her “Remember your safe word sweetheart” “Yes, but I don’t need it” He nodded “Good girl” He whispered in her ear and his free hand moved to play with her clit, fingers pinching and circling the bud as he felt his own orgasm nearing. Demetri came hard filling her up with his cold seed, her walls clenched around him moments later as she came “OH DEMETRI” She cried out, not caring who heard her. “Enjoy that darling?” “Oh yes” She replied and he pulled out of her slowly. He laid down on his side and pulled her down with him so she was lying in his arms. He kissed her shoulders gently as he ran his fingers through her hair “I enjoyed that too.” She smiled and snuggled back into him a little.

The four lay on the bed in each other’s arms as the girl’s breathing returned to normal. “How would you like to take this fantasy a step further?” Demetri asked “How?” Nat asked him “Well Felix and I could take you at the same time and then take Rhianne together afterwards” He replied “That sounds interesting boys” Rhianne added “I bet it’s their fantasy to take us at the same time” Nat said looking between the two vampires “And what if it is?” Felix responded with a smirk “We’ll live out yours as you fulfilled ours” Rhianne told her mate before looking over shoulder at Demetri and nodded smiling.

Demetri unwrapped his arms from around Rhianne, rolled and reached into his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube at the same time as Felix gently laid Nat on the bed beside Rhianne. He then rolled over and took out the bottle of lube he had hid in Natalia’s bedside table earlier that day.

“Come on darling, you’re going first” Demetri said as watched as a still naked Nat crawled over to the bed to him. He growled at the sight of her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her “Ready to begin mi amore?” “Yes babe” She replied and kissed him, before turning around so she had her back to him. Rhianne got comfortable knowing she was going to witness quite the show.

Demetri opened the bottle of Raspberry lube and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers and gently rubbed around his mate’s back entrance before gently inserting a finger preparing her for him. “I love the smell of raspberry” Natalia said over her shoulder looking at Demetri “I know darling” He winked back at her as he added a second finger and continued to thrust them gently in and out of her. He withdrew his fingers and squeezed more lube into his hand and rubbed his cock ensuring to cover it generously in lube.

“Are you ready Nat?” Felix asked and she nodded smiling at him, he leant forward capturing her lips in a kiss as he settled himself between her thighs gently parting them with his large hands and gently slid inside her. Once inside he stilled giving her chance to get used to him again before he gave her a few slow deep thrusts. He then sat back on his knees, taking her with him gently so she was sitting on his lap allowing Demetri to get comfortable behind her. Once he was in position he gently placed his hands on her ass cheeks parting them slightly and slid inside slowly being careful not to hurt her “Relax darling, it’s ok” His voice soft in her ear as he stilled inside her and placed a kiss to her neck “Mmm, that feels nice” Natalia said low once she had Felix and Demetri fully inside her. She felt full, almost painfully so but it felt so good at the same time. Natalia placed her hands on Felix’s shoulders to help steady herself.

Felix looked at Demetri over her shoulder and he nodded and Felix began trusting in and out of her at a slow pace, after a few thrusts Demetri started to move slowly in and out of her too. He matched Felix’s pace and rhythm, both pulling out and thrusting back in at the same. “Such a good girl taking us together darling” Demetri praised his mate “Such a good girl” Felix agreed before kissing her, biting her bottom lip and slipping his tongue inside her mouth, their tongues tasting each other.

Demetri left a trail of kisses along her neck, moving his hands to her breasts whilst Felix’s hands stayed on her hips. Rhianne sat on the other side of the bed watching the three of them together, finding it a little erotic.  

Demetri carefully pulled out of her first, wrapping his arms around her and Felix lifted her of his still hard cock. “I’m going cuddle Nat whilst you prepare Rhi” Demetri said and held her in his arms peppering her with little kisses.

Rhianne looked at Felix with curiosity shining in her eyes “It’ll be me taking you back here…” He gently stroked her ass “…I know you can take me, little one” He said before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

Felix picked up the bottle of Watermelon lube and applied a very generous amount to her back entrance using his fingers and gently slid one of his thick fingers inside her, adding a second a few thrusts later. "Don't worry, baby. We'll get you nice and ready for me, I promise. I just need you to try and relax for me, okay? Just give in and feel." He added a third finger and heard her low gasp “You’re doing really well sweetheart” Demetri’s voice low as he moved to sit in front of her and stroked her cheek. He pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss, distracting her when he pulled her bottom lip between his teeth. “We’re going to take care of you and he’ll be so gentle back there” Demetri added as he ran his fingers through her folds and slipped two lubed fingers inside her, brushing against her walls as another distraction.

“Ready for me Rhi?” He asked and she nodded “Yes Dem” He withdrew his fingers at the same time Felix removed his from her ass. Demetri felt her warm hand close around his hard cock, giving it a few slow strokes before releasing him with a smile. He carefully moved so he was sitting at the end of the bed, his feet firmly on the floor and lifted her onto his lap so she was straddling him with her knees resting either side of his lap on the bed.  

Felix climbed off the bed and came to stand behind his mate and coated his long hard cock in more Watermelon lube and pressed his tip to her back entrance. “Relax sweetheart” Demetri said as his hands moved to her ass parting her cheeks to help Felix ease into her slowly “You’re doing so well little one” Felix’s voice soft whispered in her ear. Natalia moved to sit on her knees beside Demetri and watched as he sank deep inside her friend with one long slow gentle thrust.

Felix was only able to fit half of his large cock in her back entrance but Rhianne still felt deliciously full the moment Demetri was fully inside her and a sigh of pleasure slipped past her lips “You like us both in you, don’t you?” Her mate asked and she nodded “Yes” Demetri smiled at her and gently moved in and out of her leaning back a little taking her with him. This exposed her ass to her mate a little more and Felix was able to slide a little deeper into her from behind.

Both vampires fucked Rhianne slow and deep, Demetri ensuring to hit that spot inside her with every thrust. “Dem…don’t stop” He smiled against her neck “I won’t. Not till your sweet cum is coating my cock sweetheart” He gave her a rough thrust and felt her nails dig into his skin a little. He growled in response, both girls chuckled a little “I love it when he does that” Natalia said low, her mouth inches from Rhianne’s. Rhianne leant forward and pressed her lips to her friend’s in a sweet kiss, Natalia pulled back for a moment before leaning back in and kissing her friend again, this time their tongues met and gently fought for dominance. Their mates growled at the sight before them as they continued to move in sync with each other inside Rhianne.

Rhianne’s walls clenched around Demetri’s cock, letting him know she was close “Be a good girl and cum for me sweetheart” He coaxed her and a moment later the knot broke and she came over Demetri’s cock, the mixed sensations of her walls milking his cock and her warm cum pulling him over the edge and he came hard inside her for the second time that night, emptying himself deep inside her.

Felix gave a semi rough thrust before he emptied himself inside her “Felix” She cried out “I know baby, I know” He stroked her cheek gently, and leant forward resting his chest against her back. “I love you Felix” “I love you too baby.”

Felix gently pulled out of her before gently lifting her off of Demetri’s semi hard cock. “That was so great Dem, Felix” Rhianne smiled at them “You did so well taking us both sweetheart” Demetri praised her before giving her a kiss “Yes you did extremely well taking me back there” Felix praised and turned her to face him capturing her lips with his.

“Girls go get in the shower and clean up whilst Felix and I change the bedsheets” Demetri smiled and watched the girls enter the bathroom “We’ll join you when we’re done” Felix added calling over his shoulder.

They hear the shower get turned on and a few moments later they hear girl’s hushed conversation about the events that took place and couldn’t help chuckle “Who’d have thought we’d be swapping mates for sex and sharing them all in the same night?” Felix asked low, Demetri chuckled “Not me but then I didn’t know our mates had those fantasies. Naughty little minxes” Demetri smiles at Felix who is wearing a matching grin “Little minxes indeed.”

Meanwhile in the bathroom “I can’t believe they agreed to fulfil our fantasies of being with their friend, considering how possessive and protective they are of us” Rhianne said as she washed Natalia “I know. They’re amazing and love us as much as we love them” Natalia replies with a smile “Not to mention they had fun too” Rhianne adds and they start laughing. “Yea and they ‘worked’ together whilst doing one of us at the same time” “That’s true Nat. They’re rather skilled like that” They giggled again as Natalia started washing Rhianne. Natalia pressed her lips to Rhianne’s in a soft kiss. Rhianne nipped at her friend’s bottom lip and slipped her tongue inside her mouth, their tongues swirling against each other as their hands caressed each other’s breasts, leaving a trail of bubbles as they go.

“Having fun girls?” They turn at hearing Demetri’s voice and see him and Felix standing in the bathroom doorway “Room for two more?” Felix adds with a grin “Nope. But if I step out you can get in” Natalia said and climbed out of the shower. Felix climbed in and washed his mate as she washed him in return, hands roaming all over their bodies with Rhianne pushed up against the tiled wall.  

Demetri ran a bath for him and Natalia and climbed in, they washed each other in turn too, hands exploring their bodies “Just making sure you’re all clean babe” Natalia said as her hand moved along his semi hard cock as she washed him. “Me too” He replied and slipped two fingers inside her when it was his turn to wash her.

Once they were all clean and dried, they got changed to something comfortable for bed. “Stay in here tonight” Demetri said as he and Natalia climbed into bed. Felix and Rhianne nodded and climbed into the king-size bed; Felix and Demetri at either end, the girls in the middle. Each vamp holding their mates close as the girl’s fell asleep exhausted, satisfied but exhausted.

“Hey D, would you be up for a repeat performance of their fantasies?” “Definitely…but as an occasional thing. Wouldn’t want to spoil the little minxes too much” Demetri winked at Felix and he chuckled “True. It’ll be nice as a treat to ‘spice’ things up once in a while” “My thoughts exactly Fe.” They watched as the girls put an arm across each other’s waists, hands resting on Demetri and Felix’s arms. “We truly are very lucky to have you girls” Demetri whispered low and kissed Natalia’s hair as Felix kissed Rhianne’s hair too “Sweet dreams little ones.” Both vampires closed their eyes and relaxed for the night, listening to their mate’s heartbeats and steady breathing.

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i love y’all sm 😌

holy f i know it literally dropped like two minutes ago but i loved imitation, are you considering pt2 possibly where reader is pregnant and kuroo genuinely becomes obsessed w her?🥺

there may be a part two if the person who commissioned it wants me to write more :) whether or not he’d actually become obsessed with her tho... 👀

Ummm that Kuroo fic was fucking amazing?!!??! Legit I felt the desperation and the heartbreak of the reader from trying to survive and also realizing she'll never be good enough. Quick question though, when Kenma said that Kuroo didn't want to take the original girl to the hospital because he didn't want to risk it, what did you mean? That she was kidnapped by him too? That's how I interpreted it, but I wanted to double check. - @ks350​

ahh thank you, bby! and yeah, his actual ‘love’ was a girl that he kidnapped and he didn’t want to risk taking her to the hospital and having her running away or alerting the hospital staff. she was actually somebody that both kuroo and kenma knew before he took her, which is why kenma can’t stand the reader

whatt the hell, Rhi??? You just made me tear up?? Like omgosh, this is probably the most heart breaking piece you have posted? I mean, the soulmate aus and the manager aus are also quite angsty but this is a new kind of angst tho. In those aus, the reader is losing hope and on the verge of giving up and this is like the opposite of that? I know you don't do part 2s but I'm really tempted to know what you envisioned for this au? Does Kuroo fall in love with the reader? Does she die? Or omg what if she gives him the child and still dies? I need answers 😭😭😭😭😭. I might not be able to sleep tonight because I'll continue to think of this 😭😭😭😭😭

dfghhgfghjkjbhjkl i’m returning to my angsty roots haha

I honestly didn't put myself in reader's place this time, but in kuroo's true love, ya know, to save some heartbreak

you do what you gotta do, bby. i respect that

I’m not even gonna lie Kuroo hurt my damn feelings 🤰🏻 I must be a masochist because here we are about to do something that girl couldn’t 😌

desperate times call for desperate measures i guess 

I like the title “Settle,” I think it’s very clever. I also kind of look at it as not only settling down, but the reader having to settle for what she’s given regardless of what she may or may not want. The fic was fantastic too! I loved the build up to Oikawa’s... uh... plans for their future lol! I especially loved the comparison between where they reader and Oikawa are in their lives. He’s this famous, Olympic athlete and she doesn’t know what to do with her life...

it only makes sense that Oikawa would chose what happens next...

thank you sm bby! honestly i hate coming up with titles, it’s the very last thing i do before i post a fic haha

rhi your fic titles are absolutely genius. like i thought it was just playing on oikawa wanting to settle down, but wow the way you juxtapose the reader as not ready to settle down? your 3 am brain is better than my brain in general 😌

my 3am brain is barely functional but thank you bby, pls come get ur kisses 

ooh rhi! how do you think iwa feels about the reader in settle! do you think he’ll be skeptical of the fact that oikawa’s hired babysitter is all of a sudden pregnant and soon to be married to her employer?

i think he’d try and keep it from iwa (and everybody else) at least until things had settled down a little. with iwa still in japan and living his own life it probably wouldn’t be too difficult unless he came over to visit - in which case i think he’d naturally be a little suspicious, especially when the reader doesn’t seem quite so enamoured with her new husband as he does with her. would he act on those suspicions? probably not :(

MSBY manager you say 👀 - @lovelyvillainess

yep :) i’m super excited about it too!

girl so excited for the msby fic omfgggg

i have on more commission to finish and then i think it’ll either be the msby fic or the always sequel coming next :)

Would you ever entertain the idea of a part three for “good girl”/ what happens afterwards?

i’ve thought about it, and there are a few ideas i do have for it, but i wouldn’t hold your breath, there are other fics i’d want to write more for first before i thought about writing a part three

hjjfkgjjkjdjjfdk HI i just turned 18 today so i binge read your blog (i would hve earlier i promise but i wanted to abide by the no minor rule haha) and UR SO TALELENTED MWHA MWAH JUST TAKE MY LOVE ALREADY I LOVE UR WRITING 🥺🥺

aw, happy birthday bby! and thank you for appreciating the dni 

i’m glad you like the fics tho!! 💕

[sugaabooga]

Chance | 3

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader | Jimin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, rich!Jin, rich!Jimin

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: PG-13, none

Synopsis: Seokjin had no problem of getting girls and also had no problem of getting rid of them. One girl after the next. So why was it that you - a middle-class citizen - was an exception? You - a middle-class citizen - made Seokjin question if he really did have it all. But one thing’s for sure. He didn’t have any of your chances.

“Eh?”

Jimin holds up a hand in response to your confused expression with a small smile.

“Came to check up on my heartbroken friend,” he states, shuffling into your apartment despite not receiving any permission.

You sigh as Jimin’s scent wafts past you and shut the door behind him.

“Jimin,” you start until he tuts.

“No no no,” Jimin turns around with a grin. Your eyes drift away from his grinning form and instead settle upon the bags he laid out on the table. “I bear gifts!”

Despite your scoff, you saunter over to your friend with a small smile. “Gifts?”

Jimin excitedly nods, reaching into the bag to take out some pasta from your favorite Italian restaurant.

Your pupils dilate at the magnificent sight. “Chicken Alfredo?”

Jimin rustles through the bag some more, bringing out his own plate of pasta and a slice of cheesecake.

“Cheesecake!?” you nearly scream, back straightening up in joy.

“Pfft,” Jimin breaks out in laughter. Nothing cures a broken heart like good food.

“Mmm,” you nod in satisfaction after a bite of the white cream pasta, licking at the corners of your mouth to get the remaining bits of sauce. Too busy diving into the food, you miss the way Jimin slowly chews on his own noodles with a sweet smile, eyes endearingly gazing at you. He slightly jolts when your eyes open and dart to meet his own, a slightly crazed grin taking over your face.

“Rhis irz sho good!”

The ends of Jimin’s eyes slightly crinkle. “Really?”

You nod, stuffing your mouth with some more pasta, almost in a hurry to finish.

You scrunch your nose, suppressing the urge to sniffle and trying to swallow away that lump in your throat that indicates you’re about to cry.

Jimin thoughtfully circles his fork in his pasta noodles, taking a big bite off his fork.

“You know what happened at work today?” Jimin asks with hopes of lifting up your emotions.

“Hm?”

“The project assistant manager, Karina asked me-” Jimin abruptly stops.

You clear your throat to try to rid of the tightening of your throat, unaware of Jimin’s brain trying to think of a way to somehow switch the topic away from the sudden confession he received after you went home.

“She uh. Asked me how to print her proposal,” Jimin agitatedly slurps his noodles.

Is that the best you can do Park?

Jimin doesn’t realize you aren’t listening.

“Oh really?” you choke out, rushing over to the dishwasher to grab a cup and pour yourself some water.

“Y-Yeah,” he nods, not noticing your reddening nose and instead focusing on stabbing his noodles. “Funny right? It’s been over four months since she started working. She doesn’t know how to print.”

You plop back down into your chair, staring at your plate as Jimin continues rambling.

Your sudden sniffle causes him to stop. 

“Hey. . . you should slow down,” Jimin frowns, the way you’re scarfing down your food making him feel uneasy. “You’re going to get indigestion.”

Just as he says that, you choke on a noodle. Hands hurriedly reach around for your water cup and you chug the whole thing down, a breath leaving your mouth.

That’s when Jimin notices your reddened nose and glossy eyes.

You’re crying.

You sniffle again, grabbing your fork and taking a slower bite of your pasta in fear of bursting into full on tears in front of him. This time, a choked sob escapes your throat.

Jimin lowers his plate and hesitantly reaches over.

You let out a cough, making him quickly retract his hand and grab his fork instead.

“Sorry,” you say pathetically. “It’s just so good. I haven’t eaten pasta since…”

Jimin’s lips turn into a grim line as he mentally face palms himself at your prolonged silence and deteriorating composure.

Of course.

Seokjin.

Jimin’s hand immediately reaches over to the Kleenex box and plucks out a few tissues, handing them to you.

You wordlessly take it, blowing out all the mucus that was stuffing your nose and preventing you from breathing. You don’t even have the mental capacity to feel embarrassed when a string of snot briefly connects your nose to the tissue.

//

“Ah, I’m hungry,” Seokjin slightly whines as he briefly looks out his side of the window in hopes of seeing a fancy, tasty looking cuisine that was probably going to charge more than a hundred dollars for a piece of meat. You suppress a smile at the older’s natural whiny tone that comes out whenever he’s hungry and debate whether or not you should suggest a place.

“I know a really good pasta place,” you suggest with slight hesitance. You weren’t sure if his rich taste buds would match.

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “Pasta?”

You nod, slightly more confident from the eager response. “The texture, the sauce, the service. MMwah,” you cough awkwardly, surprised at how that chef’s kiss just blurted out of your mouth. “It’s actually my childhood restaurant.”

“Then we have to go,” Seokjin states with a grin, silently cooing at your genuine giddiness. You tilt your head at him as Seokjin starts driving towards a curb, slowing down and turning on his car’s GPS.

Was he always this considerate?

“What’s the address?” Seokjin asks, head slightly turning to you when he feels your eyes shooting lasers at him from his peripherals.

Your heart nearly stops from his eyes meeting yours and avert your eyes to your bag. You fiddle around for your phone and quickly start punching in the name of the restaurant.

Seokjin’s lip tilts up to an amused smile, watching as you profusely blush, hands slightly shaking as you type in the address into his GPS.

Before you can catch him, he turns his head towards the window, letting an endearing smile take over his face.

“Kay,” you mumble, making Seokjin compose himself in a nanosecond and start driving off into the streets of Seoul.

You busy yourself nodding to the radio, stealing glances from time to time, admiring how handsome your boyfriend looks when he’s driving. As you turn to look out the window, taking precautions just in case you get caught, Seokjinglances over as well, uncomfortably rubbing at his chest at the foreign feeling of his heartbeat.

//

You grab another tissue, wiping away your tears. “S-Sorry.”

Jimin shakes his head, merely offering his silent company as comfort. This time, confidence surges through Jimin for him to gingerly place his hand on your shoulder, gently patting it.

“You okay?” he asks, just above a whisper, as you honk your nose one last time.

You offer a smile just as shaky as your breath and nod.

“Pasta must be that good, huh?” Jimin softly jokes, making you snort.

“Yup,” you state almost monotonously. “Moves me to tears.”

Jimin unconsciously ruffles your hair affectionately, making you slightly pause in your actions of crinkling up the used tissues.

Snap out of it, Y/N. You tell yourself. This wasn’t the first time Jimin was comforting you and offering emotional support. You knew Jimin was an affectionate person. You were currently emotionally vulnerable so of course any action would feel like too much.

But that’s when you feel his hand slightly drop to play with your hair then tuck it behind your ear.

This. . . was a first.

You don’t dare to look up, instead grabbing your fork once again to taste some of the cheesecake in an attempt to distract yourself from the onslaught of overthinking.

Jimin urgently removes his hand at your sudden movement, worrying if he had crossed the line of friendship and awkwardly coughs. He hadn’t meant to do that. Sure Jimin engulfed you in hugs, pinched your cheeks, patted your head, multiple times, but he had never done them with such intimacy.

Jimin feels an internal debate of whether he should say something. Maybe an apology? But that would make this whole situation too awkward.

It’s okay, he reassures himself. Friends of ten years can have this much affection right?

As if you could sense the shift in his attitude and feel it growing more and more tense, you clear your throat, turning to face him completely.

Jimin slightly looks up just to meet your guarded gaze, the area around your eyes still a bit pink from your crying.

“Thanks, Jimin,” you smile. “I bet there’s no one else in this world who has a friend bringing them cheesecake at 1 in the morning.”

“Of course!” Jimin forces a bright smile.

He can feel it.

“Yoongi-hyung wouldn’t even think about doing this,” he adds.

You drew the line.

You burst out in a laugh, eyes twinkling in the way they do whenever you find something to be funny and Jimin can’t help but to feel his heart skip a beat.

Oh boy. He was in too deep.

“For sure,” you giggle, pushing away the previous intimate gesture, deeming it to just be a comforting action at how naturally Jimin was acting.

Jimin would never think of me like that, you assure yourself.

“Yoongi would never,” you say poking at part of the cake. “Hm… I bet he’ll drop something off in front of my door or randomly burst in and throw takeout at me, saying it’s leftovers.”

Jimin laughs, nodding in agreement as he gulps down his water like a swig of beer. The past three years after he found out he was in love with you, Jimin had never even let a hint of his feelings show. But now, he felt like he was losing control. Losing control of his feelings and losing his hold on you.

You take another bite of cheesecake, oblivious to Jimin’s jumbled thoughts, and feel a lot lighter as you bring up memories of past hangouts with mutual friends.

That’s all Jimin will ever be, you remind yourself as your mouth rambles on.

Just a friend.

//

A/N: Hello there! I just checked the last time I uploaded a chapter and IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR. WOW. Thank you BELOVED READER for being so patient and waiting for this new chapter! It’s a short one but there will be more to come so thank you thank you thank you for always supporting :)

[spnfanficpond]

May 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE MAY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @focusonspn

A Night on the Town (oneshot) by @supernatural-jackles

I completely love this fic!! Jensen is a total sweetheart, it’s really easy to read and all those words felt like only five minutes. This is everything a Jensen!girl could’ve asked for!!

Hunger (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

HOLY. MOTHER. OF. HOTNESS. It was a fucking pleasure for my eyes to read every single word of this fic!! hot as hell, dark, Demon!Dean and in character as always.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis 

Handkerchief (oneshot) by @babypieandwhiskey

I don’t usually read RPF, but this is an AU, so I dove in. Mechanic!Jensen with a magical supply of handkerchiefs, ready and willing to clean up whatever mess I find myself in? SOLD. Sweet, appeals to my love of Jensen’s back-pocket bandannas, and it activates my competence kink! Excuse me while I go wibble in the corner.

Nominated by @supernatural-jackles

Still The One (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

I have a lot of respect for the way Michelle writes such difficult topics. She approaches them with such grace and accuracy, that makes it all the more realistic. This series is no exception. I deeply enjoy this series and the way things are playing out between Dean and the reader. It’s an extremely heartbreaking story that most of us don’t really think about until it’s put into this kind of perspective. This one is still ongoing, and I’m extremely excited to see how she handles the rest of the story. I highly recommend checking this one out. Just heed the warnings beforehand.

Nominated by @peridottea91

Healthy Competition (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

This! Omg this series! I love it so much!! It’s slower moving but keeps you itching for the next chapter and is oh so relatable. What woman hasn’t had body image issues? And what plus sized woman hasn’t had to deal with rude jerks and bullying? This fic is actually super realistic and hits all those relatable issues. Can’t wait to read the rest!!

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

Ok, let me start by saying that I am a sucker for a good “character transported to alt. universe/world” fic. That said, I got soooooooooo addicted to this fic! It was so well written and you could just feel the reader’s hesitation and torn emotions. Should she stay? Should go? Ugh! Fantastic!! Also, kudos for the Norse mythology!! *chef’s kiss*

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

Cotton Candy (oneshot) by @ellewritesfix05

“It was always nice knowing [...] you could always find ways to bring light into Dean’s life.”

And he damn well deserves it! This was so sweet. No one can resist that “I didn’t do it” smile of his ;)

The Oath (Series) by @thecleverdame 

This series is definitely dark, but it’s so so good. If you’re okay with reading about the heavy subjects covered in these chapters, you won’t regret giving this series a try. I can’t seem to stop diving into all of this author’s content. She’s just too good.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89 

I’ve been excited about this impressive project since I first saw the announcement post. Though I’m ashamed to say I haven’t gotten into reading the full thing yet, I plan on making time for reading ALL the different endings. I’m excited to see the different ways in which the story plays out, depending on the brothers’ personalities. For now, I’m recommending this first chapter, the starting point, which was already a beauty of its own. If you haven’t started yet yourself, prepare to be amazed.

Not Safe (Oneshot) by @torn-and-frayed

I love this. Spicy but sweet… Is that a cringy enough way for me to try and put my thoughts into words? I also just really miss Bobby, man.

nominated by @impala-dreamer

Safe Here (series) by @because-imma-lady-assface

This is one of the greatest Dean series. Ashley writes Dean amazingly well, too well sometimes, and this series gives him exactly what he needs; a place to feel safe and find comfort. I love this one so much!

Losing You (series) by @idreamofhazel

This is a superbly done Sam series that has stuck with me for a long time. I literally can’t go into Bed, Bath & Beyond without thinking about the ending <3

nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Blind Luck (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

A great Sam x reader that hits the holy trifecta of smut, fluff, and angst.

 Blood And Water (series) by @crashdevlin

Pretty sure I’ve recc’d this before but it’s such a good series, so twisted and angsty, my dark little heart loves it. Heed the warnings!

Just Sam (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea but for me, it’s perfection, because I am a kinky bitch and any other kinky bitches out there would definitely enjoy this XD

nominated by @deanwanddamons

Private Party With A Rockstar (oneshot) by @mummybear

@mummybear Has been working her butt off this month for her RolePlay May. She wrote this story for me and put me in it (my name is Sian). Rockstar!Jensen is one of my weakness’s, and she knows that, and clearly knows me very well too, as included everything I like 😉

She’s Not You by @winchest09

@winchest09 is one of my fave authors. This is a super cute, super fluffy fic which really cheered me up.

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

I LOVED this series. it was so good and lots of fun with some very sexy going’s on. Rhi’s work is just fantastic 💕

Wedding Bells (oneshot) by @katehuntington

This one shot is super cute and fluffy! I love her writing so much and this is not exception 💕 

Not Much Left (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Demon!Dean is another of my weakness’s and fic really hit the spot 🥵🔥

Dear Dean (series) by @smol-and-grumpy

This series made me laugh, made me cry, made me horny and made me gasp. One of the best series I have read 💕

nominated by @emilyshurley

Jensen’s Self Care Routine (oneshot) - @luci-in-trenchcoats

It is just adorable. People taking care of themselves for their loved ones. You can’t get more fluffy.

The Proposal (series) - @katymacsupernatural (Ongoing)

If you love fake dating fics, you’ll definitely love this one. Really like the character of “the reader”.

Private Party with a Rockstar (oneshot) - @mummybear

This one is both hot and adorable at the same time

You shook me (oneshot) @myinconnelly1

It’s Myin writing Demon!Dean what more do you want? No seriously that’s the perfect combination

Dancing the Spiral (oneshot) by @myinconnelly1

One of the only times I genuinely felt like a fic was creepy in a good way. And the passing of the whole thing is great. Am I little biased because its Myin, yes but that doesn’t make the fic any less good. sure it’s on the longer side but definitely worth it.

The only exception (series) - @ne-gans and @negans-lucille-tblr

I have only read the first part so far but I had to mention it. It is a serial killer AU so read the trigger warnings just in case.

Make it Big (series)- @negans-lucille-tblr

Again I’m still catching up It’s one of those fics I thought I won’t like reading but was really glad that I started.

Cast no Shadow (series) @kittenofdoomage

It’s Rhi, I can fangirl a lot about her fics. Really enjoyed (?) (that might not be the right word) the whole fitting a new relationship in existing ones. Felt to real in a weird way. It might seem like I don’t like the fic because of how I’m wording this but that’s really not the case.

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch

Sunshine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

If you like angst, this is the fic for you. It is utterly captivating and heart wrenching. It’s a cut your heart out with a dull centuries-old wooden spoon style hurt. The use of the song lines in this fic is well thought out and poetic. Make sure to have a box of tissues handy. If you don’t at least tear up while reading this, then you don’t have a heart to cut out, and your soul is already in hell.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89

A clever interactive series where you get to choose your favorite Winchester, and the ending of the story. This is so detailed and intriguing. I loved the story I ended up with the first time, and excitedly went back in to pick the other options. Each story was unique and well written. 

Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (oneshot) by @waywardbaby

This one shot is an absolutely stunning piece of smut. The lack of dialogue makes it that much better. All you’re left with is the option to feel the detailed emotions—sexual tension to the max.

No Words (oneshot) by @because-imma-lady-assface​

Beautiful, detailed, and heartbreaking. Dean’s pain and need for comfort are palpable, and I cried while reading it. I can’t find the proper words to describe how this fic made me feel, but man did it ever make me feel.

Sky Full of Stars (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy​​

This is the sequel to Something Just Like This and is just as exciting as the first series. A roller coaster of suspense. The characters continue on their journey of love, dealing with the good and bad that comes with every relationship—the perfect combination of angst and fluff with a healthy dose of smut.

Something Just Like This (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy

A perfect combination of big badass Dean and soft, fluffy Dean, along with all the incredible smut your little heart could desire. I usually don’t like to read a series until it is complete, because I am impatient and don’t want to wait for the next chapter to post. However, this story was intriguing and sexy, and I couldn’t keep from reading each chapter as soon as it posted and then eagerly anticipating the next.

Nominated by anon

Request 42 (oneshot) by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

This was super-duper cute!! I love frustrated soon to be parents especially when one of those parents is Dean! Great work, well worth the read!

Just A Daydream (onesho) by @maddiepants

This fic is refreshing with its canon-ness! I love Sam's little dream, and you get so wrapped up in it, you forget. Absolutely masterful and HOT AS HELL! Also, Tall People, WTF? 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[buckyreaderrecs]

So Far Away: Chapter 5/?

Summary:  Bucky Barnes doing what he does best. Saving. Loving. In this particular case, the object of both is you. (Bonus: Bucky Barnes happy, healing, doing really well!) 

First chapter in series. Previous chapter. 

Chapter 5:  It’s time to find your family.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, F.R.I.D.A.Y., Cecilia Reyes Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists),  she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters, hero Bucky Barnes, canon typical violence, warzone/disaster zone setting, Alpine the cat, other Marvel characters mentioned but not central to the plot,  Warnings: possible triggers for anxiety and PTSD, major triggers for death of loved ones and grief, chapter 5 only possible trigger for food

Note: Please heed the warnings for this chapter; it’s a bit intense. As always, I’d love to know what you think. xo Rhi

So Far Away Chapter 5/?

The first night you'd spent at Stark Tower was forgettable in the sense that you had completely forgotten most of it. Vaguely, there was a bath, and Bucky, then bed. That was pretty much it though. So, it wasn't like the day after needed to do anything particularly special to be considered memorable. And yet, it was.

As Bucky put all the Mexican food trash into the paper Ubereats bag, you flicked through channels on television.

"Have you seen this?" you asked, stopping on Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

"I know, I know! I don't know shit about anything, but in my defence, I've been busy helpin' to save the world since I've been… good," Bucky replied, highly defensive but also still in good humour.

"Um… I just meant, 'cause it's a super underrated Disney movie. And nobody's seen it, like Hercules," you told him, holding back a grin.

"Oh… Sorry. Sam's always yelling at me," he explained, throwing the Ubereats bag in the bin and walking back over the couch from the kitchenette.

"About movies?"

"About everything," he said, rubbing his face. "He's cut up about me missing, like, all of hip-hop."

It made you laugh, which motivated Bucky to continue his bitching about Sam Wilson. "And! He thinks me and Steve should have more 'refined taste' in everything." He used air quotation marks, which Natasha Romanoff had taught him to use, much to the dismay of Steve. ("Captain America.")

"Refined taste?"

"Yeah, basically he loses it when he we like anythin' he thinks is bad. Like…" Bucky cycled through his list of favourite things. "The Fast and the Furious movies."

An image flashed in your mind of Steve and Bucky, completely decked out in their respective gear, marathoning the films, cheering at every car stunt and use of the NOS button. It made you smile, genuinely happy.

Bucky continues, "They ain't my favourite or anythin', but they're fun, ya know? He's probably just upset that whenever we get in car races it's mostly someone trying to kill us,"

"I guess that's… fair, but he's… The Falcon… that's super cool?"

Bucky grinned, but quickly shook his head. "Don't ever tell him you said that, okay? Never tell Sam you think he's cool,"

"Is it like feeding Gremlins after midnight?" you asked.

"I watched that one! And, yeah. It's exactly like that,"

"But it's not like you guys don't get to see cool things… and be cool,"

"I guess… We're used to it?" Bucky thought for a second or two, wriggled into the couch and rested his arm along the back of it. You turned to face him, legs crossed and entirely attentive. "Before the war I loved reading about what new gadgets were comin' out. Used to drag Steve to anything with tech stuff. But then, Hydra. I wasn't really conscious enough to realise I was in the future," he told you, chuckling a little to himself like it was funny. It was so nonchalant that it shocked you a little. He hadn't stuttered saying their name, or shifted to a darker mood. "Whenever I got re-programmed, I was re-trained too. Whatever advancements they made, I learnt. Meant when Shuri fixed my head up, I wasn't that inept. Got it a lot easier than Steve that way,"

"Just movies and T.V. and stuff that you missed then?" you asked, feeling like you needed to keep him talking because you'd never heard anything so goddamn interesting.

"Yeah. Hydra didn't exactly have a Netflix subscription for me," he said. You said nothing. "That was a joke. You can laugh," Bucky told you, softly nudging your knee.

"I don't know how you joke about it," you said honestly.

He shrugged. "You'll joke about all this too, one day," he replied.

No. No, I won't.

Bucky saw the conflict flash across you face.

"It's not like there isn't things that still blow my mind… Wakanda, for one," he continued, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Is it as cool as it looks on T.V.?"

"Cooler. It's gotta be one of my favourite places. And when I met Wanda… She thought I was a bit of a meatball. Never met anyone with powers like hers, you know? She's amazing. And Vision. Still don't really get what he's about,"

"So, you are friends with Wanda Maximoff but you think Vin Diesel is cool?" you asked, affronted.

Bucky laughed. "No. I think the cars are cool. The stunts! Vin Diesel seems like a jerk."

Another image flashed. Someone in the world, Vin Diesel, knowing that The Winter Soldier thought he was a bit of jerk.

Bucky watched you laugh.

"Come on, then. What's this one about?" he asked, turning back to the television.

"Atlantis-"

"Underwater city? I'm in."

That's about where you realised that Bucky Barnes was a massive nerd.

It took Bucky ten minutes to tell you that you needed to keep warm, putting the knitted blanket over you. It took twenty to have him scoot closer to you, his arm still on the back of the couch, behind your head. About half an hour in, Bucky said, "Yeah, this is better than Snow White. I love this little mole guy."

Bucky was watching, listening for any signs that the lack of conversation had given you time to think, to spiral. But, it hadn't. Atlantis was a comfort movie for you, a distraction. He could see you smile and frown along with the characters.

"It was pretty obvious that this was gonna happen," Bucky said at the high point of the plot twist. He was aiming for a reaction. You looked at him fast and dramatic. "I'm good at picking the bad guys. Kinda my job."

At the rolling of the credits, Bucky asked, "Ice cream?"

As he put a collection of Ben and Jerry's on the counter top, Bucky caught himself in a sudden realisation. He was keeping you busy. Eventually, you'd notice, or the day would carry on and bedtime would come; the quietness between 'goodnight' and sleep would crush you, pushing from you anxiety and grief. But first, Bucky thought, ice cream.

"Half Baked," you said. Bucky handed you the pint and a spoon.

You watched him open the Strawberry Cheesecake, Cherry Garcia, and Urban Bourbon. "Variety is the spice of life," he said grinning, his voice a strange mocking tone, like he was parroting someone you'd never met.

"I genuinely don't know where all that food goes,"

"In here," he answered, lifting his shirt and patting his tummy.

"Yeah, but like, do you have one of those trash compactor things that mooshes it all down super small?"

Bucky laughed. "Maybe. Who knows what's going on inside 'ere."

You were sitting on a bar stool, leaning against the kitchenette's counter. Bucky put the spoons in the dishwasher and the uneaten ice cream away. He liked things in their place, you noted.

"So," he said, too casually. It felt, correctly, like a lead up. "How are you feeling?"

"Full," you answered, honest, but also not really.

Bucky looked at you, nodded. "What else?"

You dropped your gaze, breaking eye contact. A nervousness grew in you, the gatekeeper to all the bad. It was telling you to flee - answering the question wouldn't be nice. You could tell that Bucky wouldn't change the subject though. He could wait in that silence all day for you to speak.

"I…" you began. "I don't know. There's just… a lot,"

"Yeah. That makes sense. There is a lot… Probably good to start telling me about it." When you said nothing to that, he added, "Or someone else. We can-"

"I feel guilty," you blurted out, partly to stop him suggesting you talk to anyone else, partly because the gate was opening and the guilt as behind it in abundance. Bucky nodded like he already knew what you were going to say, and what you meant. "I… I'm here. Where I'm more than safe," you said, looking around at the suite. "But I haven't done anything to deserve it-" Bucky went to say something but stopped himself. "I'm not the most hurt, or the most useful person to save or anything like that. And then, I haven’t even looked-" That was it. The tears began to stream down your face, heavy and hot. You could feel them pooling in your shirt somewhere. The sentence you started was lost, completely drowned out by sobs.

Bucky remained composed. He fetched tissues from the bathroom, took it upon himself to clear your face, ready for the next wave. It arrived immediately. "Come 'ere," he said, pulling you into him. There would be wetness and snot all over his hoodie when you would eventually move, but you didn’t think of that in the moment and Bucky really didn’t care. He stood between your legs, rocking you gently on the stool for a minute before you spoke again.

"I haven't even looked for anybody," you said, so softly and so painfully that even priests in confessional booths would have hung their heads.

"How could you?" Bucky asked.

During the time before his head was really put back together, that is what everyone did with him. They challenged Bucky's questions, forced logic on him, rending much of the harmful conclusions he'd drawn about himself incorrect. It was a good strategy and he'd learned it well.

You half shrugged and kept crying. A cycle had begun in your mind. You were crying because you felt guilty, but that made you feel selfish and stupid. You thought you should be crying for other people. All of that, of course, made you feel more guilty, starting the cycle all over again. But maybe that cycle was easier to loop on than any real feelings of grief and loss.

"When were ya meant to have time to find people? Couldn't do it in the refuge centre. Too much goin’ on. And your hand was smashed, probably killin' you. And like Doc said - in shock," he said, paused, waited for a response.

Bucky's hands were moving up and down your back with enough pressure to calm you sobs into softer hiccups and sniffles.

"Yeah?" Bucky prompted. You nodded and shrugged simultaneously. "Okay, so, couldn't have done it on the way here or last night. You were exhausted. Could hardly keep yourself upright. Ain't much use to anybody like that."

You covered your nose with a tissue and sat up. Even if he didn't care, you didn't want him to see you with a face covered in snot. Bucky had the tact to look away while he continued. You listened as you wiped your face clean.

"This morning, whisked ya away to Medical. Then force fed you some food. And now, we're here. So, if you're asking me, darlin', not too sure when you think you were meant to do all this people finding, you know?"

Bucky could see it in your face that you knew he was right. When you nodded, saying, "I guess," he felt completely victorious.

You drank the glass of water Bucky poured for you, then took a breath in, two, three, out, two, three.

"Okay," you said, voice almost normal.

"Okay," he repeated in solidarity.

"Can we find them now?"

…

The room was definitely not for civilians, but nobody stopped Bucky from walking in with you. It was a buzzing hub of activity and urgency. Voices spoke fast, people moved faster.

"It's kind of like a command centre," Bucky tried to explain. "Whenever there's a threat, we have a response team that do… I guess what would happen if there was an earthquake or somethin'. Search and rescue. Coordinating relief."

You nodded and stayed close to Bucky's side, not wanting to get in anyone's way.

"Sergeant Barnes," a very tired woman greeted.

"Hey. I'm really sorry to-"

"No time for that. What can we do for you?" she cut him off.

"Finding people that were in the attack zone," he replied.

"Everything we know, F.R.I.D.A.Y. knows. Integrated systems. Find a computer, preferably not in here, and ask her. Anything else?"

"No. Thank-" but she was gone.

Bucky hooked an arm around your waist and walked you back to the elevator.

"She was amazing," you said.

Bucky grinned. "Never met her before, but yeah, lot of people like that around here."

On a floor of the tower that was much calmer, Bucky and you sat in what you supposed was some sort of crazy high-tech boardroom.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

"James,"

"Oh, it's James now?"

"Yes. How can I be of assistance?"

The first step was making a list of everyone you knew who lived or worked in the part of D.C. that was affected. You named them, confirmed through social media accounts and DMV records.

"Do you guys have access to, like, everything?" you asked Bucky.

"Probably shouldn't answer that," Bucky replied, winking.

Step two was all F.R.I.D.A.Y. "I work fast, but I'd like to check my work, Y/N," she told you.

"If you can, can you check with-" Bucky went to ask.

"First responder reports?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

"Must be the day for being cut off by women smarter than me, huh?"

"I could be mistaken, James, but isn't that every day?"

Bucky laughed, looked at you for back up, but saw you staring at screen in front of you. The list of names.

Once you'd actually made it, you realised there were likely less people to find than you first though. Your housemate, Lucas, was a bike courier. He may have been out of the zone, 50/50 chance. Elizabeth, your best friend, lived on the next block over. She was home when the attack happened. You were watching her Instagram live; she was feeding her pet snake, Salem. Then, the girls at the hole in the wall café you worked at, Glory. You didn't know who was shift, so you listed all five.

There were more, but felt like naming everyone you knew would be greedy somehow. Bucky said, when you were ready, you could look through the list of the deceased. Even hearing the phrase made you feel sick though.

"Do you want to wait here?" Bucky asked.

You turned to him, ran your hands through your hair. "I don't know… I can't…" but whatever you couldn’t, you couldn’t even articulate.

Bucky nodded. "How about we get some fresh air? When we get back, F.R.I.D.A.Y. will have something for us?"

…

Out on the street, everything was loud. The whole back-in-reality thing really took you off guard. Seeing the city from the top of the Tower was different to this.

"I got ya," Bucky said, coming to walk right by your side. You looked over at him, and he offered his hand. You immediately accepted.

As you walked by multiple cafés, you wondered if Bucky had a favourite, or maybe there was a secret superhero club behind a hidden door in an inconspicuous bodega or Chinese restaurant. Alas, earwax - no such luck. Bucky held the door of a standard looking café open.

The guy behind the coffee machine nodded. "Buck,"

"Hey, Gee,"

"Seen ya's all on the news. Everyone okay?" Gee the barista asked, the genuine concern evident in his tone and expression.

"Ah, yeah. You know - nothing they can't handle," Bucky replied; you suspected it was the party line.

"Good, good. What can we get for ya then?"

"Don't worry about it, bud. I'll jump in line."

Gee shook his head and smiled as Bucky took his place in the queue to order. "You wanna grab a table? Or wait with me?" he asked you.

"Stay," you replied, stepping closer to him.

While you held your body in a way that shielded your broken bones from people's paths, it was easy being close to Bucky. He was probably very accustomed to being around the injured, so never accidentally hit the cast. You were grateful.

Bucky reached out and curled hair behind your ears, then leaned in to kiss the top of your nose. It was intimate, and brought solace. It was also very public; as he moved away, started greeting the girl at the counter, you realised there were more than a few pairs of eyes on you. Turning from the room, you stood closer to Bucky and listened to their conversation.

"You know I can't tell you that," Bucky said, leaning against the counter like he owned it.

"But, like, it's over, right? We won?"

"Tiff, would I be standing here if there was something else I could be doing?"

Tiff nodded, made a face like she'd been let in on a state secret. "Hmmm," she pondered for a second. Then, with pep, "So, the usual then? For one of Earth's mightiest heroes?"

Bucky rolled his eyes at her. "I hate you," he joked before looking at you. "What will it be?"

You hadn't really thought as far as ordering. Already feeling self-conscious and spaced out, the burning in your cheeks was getting hotter.

"Thinking maybe a pot of tea to share?" Bucky suggested, casual, but also sending you a quick wink - he was saving you again.

"Tea's great," you said.

After ordering, Bucky chose a couple of oversized armchairs by the window to sit in. He let you breathe, let you stare through the glass and people watch for a long time. He answered messages on his phone, checked in with Steve while you daydreamed. So deep in thought, or maybe just completely zoned out, you didn't even notice Bucky had made a call, or that the pot of tea had been placed on the small table between you.

Bucky said your name, but you failed to move. He reached out, tapped a knuckle against your knee. You gasped, felt your heart skip a beat.

"Sorry!" he said immediately. "Didn’t mean to scare you…"

"No, it's alright. I'm just… um,"

"You're alright, darlin'. How do you take your tea?"

It was a simple enough question, but you looked down at the table like it was all alien.

"Maybe you can make your own," Bucky said, pushing the tea tray closer to you. "Give you something to focus on. Bring you back down to earth."

…

Although you were hardly touching your tea or the cookies the staff brought over as a gift, Bucky let you sit for much longer than what anyone normally would. It was starting to get dark, the café closing around you, when you finally seemed to become aware of the rest of the world again.

"Oh. Should we go?"

"Sure," Bucky replied, standing and holding his hand out again.

After thanking everyone, you were out in the city, walking back to the Tower.

The silence that existed between you and Bucky was a comfortable one, but the closer you got to your destination, the more nervous you felt. Something in your mind snapped, told you to try to be normal. So, you started to talk. Fast. And a lot.

"Do you all go there? Like, the Avengers? It was nice. They really like you. The cookies were good-"

Bucky cut in, stopping you more than actually wanting to answer. "It's easier to go to the same places. The novelty of us eventually wears off," he told you.

"Yeah, people don't really stop staring, do they? Must get tiring, having everyone watch you all the time. And treat you different." You internally begged yourself to shut the fuck up.

"Guess I don't really know what 'normal' would be… Don't like people giving me free stuff all the time though. Don't need it. Not really a skip-the-line type of guy," he said.

You wondered how much charity he needed after Steve brought him back into the fold. Instead of asking about that, you thankfully went with, "Must be nice sometimes though?"

Bucky thought for a second. It was one of the changes in personality he experienced after Hydra. Bucky in the 30s and early 40s was a little bit of an attention seeker, a true lover of the limelight. Not so much anymore. He thought of you then - how you'd considered him to be a hero, and how you had needed him. How you still needed him.

"Maybe there's a couple perks."

You nodded, went quiet again. Bucky noticed that you switched between that frantic, almost manic state and scary quiet a fair bit. He rolled with it, a little notorious for the odd mood swing himself.

It was in the elevator of Stark Tower that you started to get jittery. The palms of your hands started to sweat, but Bucky didn't let go. He also tried to not seem like all of his attention was fixated on you, but it was. When he took you back to his suite, rather than the crazy high-tech boardroom, he thought about explaining why, but figured it wasn't one of the main things on your mind.

Sitting on the couch in the same place you'd eaten burritos for brunch, you pulled the knitted blanket back over yourself.

"Ready?" Bucky asked, sitting down next to you and putting a glass of water and box of tissues on the coffee table. You nodded. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., how'd you go?"

You felt sick, real deep down in your stomach. It was a pushing force, making you hot and uncomfortable. Suddenly, the blanket was too heavy and you pushed it away with a weird anger.

Bucky wanted to hold you, but he knew the sensation of feeling trapped by grief. He gave you space and braced himself for what was about to hit you.

"I'm not sure what the best order to deliver this is," F.R.I.D.A.Y. admitted. She knew the limits of her programmed humanity, and it was probably the most impressive thing about her.

"Good news first," Bucky said.

"I've located Lucas and Elizabeth. Lucas is currently residing in an apartment just outside the affected zone. It belongs to a Jacob Short,"

"That's his boyfriend's dad," you said, nodding to yourself. Lucas was safe.

"Elizabeth is currently admitted to Howard University Hospital. She has a broken clavicle and humerus, and damage to the glenohumeral joint - all to her right side. She is in stable condition."

You breathed out hard, then took a tissue to your face. You'd not even noticed that you'd started to cry.

"Glory was destroyed," F.R.I.D.A.Y. continued.

That's when you looked up from the patch of floor you'd been staring at. On the screen of the television, F.R.I.D.A.Y. had been showing you relevant things - the Facebook status geotagging Lucas at his boyfriend's family home, the rental agreement that showed who lived at that address, Elizabeth's medical records, even security footage of her in the hospital.

You shouldn't have looked up.

For a moment, Bucky didn't understand why your breathing had all but stopped. Average people don't get a slideshow to accompany their bad news. He looked at the screen. A photo, then another, showed the entire building Glory was a part of reduced to rubble.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., maybe we don't need the show with the tell," Bucky said.

"No!" you yelled. "I need to see."

If there was information, visual or verbal, you needed it.

"I logged into WorkForce using your credentials to view the roster. Two people were working at the time of the attacks: Carly Underwood and Ellie Gilbert," F.R.I.D.A.Y. told you. Before she said it, you knew it. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Both have been put on the list of deceased. Carly has been identified officially. Ellie is pending, but using our facial recognition and matching, I can confirm it's her."

You stood up, ripping the hoodie you were wearing off. If it was too hot before, now you felt like you were made of lava.

Bucky watched you start to pace. Your expression was alarmingly flat.

"The rest of your co-workers are safe. Only a Tara Constantine was in the affected area. She was on a bus moved to safety by Peter Parker."

There was footage taken from somebody's phone of Spiderman saving bus and carloads of people.

"I used your social media accounts to create an index of known people. As far as I can tell, you do not directly know anyone else on the list of deceased."

The phrase was still making you feel sick.

Bucky mistook that as F.R.I.D.A.Y. being finished. He thanked her, asked her to keep him updated if anything changed.

"Sorry, Sergeant. There's more."

Both you and Bucky went still. What else could there be?

"Your parents, Y/N,"

"They live on the other side of the city. Probably worried about me, right?" You turned to the screen, expected to see a worried Facebook posted asking if anyone had seen you. How could telling them you were safe not be your first thought? Stupid. Selfish.

On the screen was a grainy traffic cam photo of your parents driving. It was time and date stamped.

"They're fine," you said.

"Y/N, I'm sorry… Your parents aren't on the list of deceased-"

"Yeah, because they're fine!"

Suddenly, you remembered you did call them. You were still in the refuge centre, and it took you an hour to find someone with a phone willing to share. First, you called your dad, but it went straight to voicemail. Your mum didn't pick up. Only a month before, they'd had the landline switched off. How did you forget calling?

"But using street surveillance, I tracked their car into the affected zone. They got caught in the attack-"

"No. No. They hate that part of town. I didn't even move in that long ago and they already hate it. There's no reason for them to be there," you said, angry. No reason… except you.

"I checked through unidentified photographs-" she tried to continue, her voice noticeably more robotic than Bucky had ever heard it. He was grateful to have her then.

"The what?" you asked, confused and flustered and still feeling so fucking sick.

Bucky sighed, figured he should explain that one. "It's the same as natural disasters… When they find bodies, move them to try to identify them, they make a catalogue of photos to help. F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s saying she checked through them,"

"So? They're fine,"

"Our facial recognition and matching have a 100% accuracy record, but… I could be wrong," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

Bucky knew she wasn't, and was discomforted by her attempt at gentleness.

"Wrong about what?" you spat, already knowing.

"I believe your parents have passed away,"

"Show me," you said.

"Y/N, I-" from Bucky.

"Show me!" you yelled, moving to the screen, standing so close you swore you could feel the electricity buzzing from it.

The photographs from traffic cams were still up, static. You stared them down, waiting.

Bucky walked to you, stood behind you, held his breath.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn't speak again. She showed you all the photos of your parents she had found to base her conclusion on. The reach of her skills became apparent and terrifying. There was no way she and everything she could do, was legal. As photos from private accounts, devices, and websites flashed up, along with dozens from the DMV and work place IDs, you felt all the heat you'd brewed up drain from you.

Your body began to meltdown - you needed to pee, your mouth went dry, and earaches formed out of nowhere. It felt like you were being stabbed in the lower back. None of it made sense.

The screen went still again.

"Show me," you said once more.

Two overexposed photographs appeared on screen. Both were framed similarly - head shots of undeniably dead people. Also undeniable was the fact that they were the corpses of your parents.

"Turn it off," Bucky said.

The screen went black but you didn't look away. As long as you stayed there staring, the image wouldn't fade. You could see them in your mind. You could see the indent in your father's head, skull visible. You could see the blood on your mother’s face. Tape held their eyelids closed.

"Y/N," Bucky whispered, standing close. He waited for a response. Time was ticking by excruciatingly slowly. "Y/N, I'm gonna help you to bed," he said, but you flinched, so he stopped moving towards you. "Okay… That's okay. You can stay-" but before he could end the sentence with 'here,' you screamed out a guttural cry that mutated into sobbing.

Very quickly for Bucky then, time sped up again. It was moving too fast though. Your legs gave up, and he caught you only just before hitting the floor. You crawled out of his arms, along the floor, dry heaving between sobs and yelped of pain as you ignored the fact one hand was crushed. In the couple of seconds it took him to work out if you were going to throw up, you did. You puked all the Mexican and tea you'd had, then continued to crawl, making it close enough to a wall that you could lay on your side and lean against it.

Bucky knelt in front of you, tried to pull your hair into the tie that was usually around his wrist. Once successful, he went to retrieve a cold, wet wash cloth. He wiped your face but gave up when the sobbing seemed to get louder. He could make out words sometimes. For the most part, there was nothing coherent in your mind to articulate. You curled up into a ball, switching between deep sobs and outright screams.

Eventually, it all subsided into an even crying but you stayed in a tight ball. Bucky sat beside you, pressed close enough that he could feel each movement you made. After hours, once you'd gone quiet, Bucky whispered, "I'm gonna look after you, Y/N. Promise."

Chapter 6 coming soon...

Tag list for So Far Away: @animegirlgeeky @howthehellisbucky @dumbubblegum @chipilerendi 

Tag list for all my work: @bubbabarnes @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty @aynaraxas @vibraniumwitch @the--sad--hatter @fairislesheets (of course it doesn’t let me tag you! I’ll message you)

Tag lists are open - message me to be added. 

[floralelu]

Le Fleuriste Episode III:

WARNING: MENTIONS/USE OF ALCOHOL AND SMOKING

Word Count: 4,402

Summary: Lucas is confronted with the man of his dreams, as of one day of course. How will it go? Will Lucas fall deeper into love, or convince himself that Eliott isn’t the boy for him.

———————————————————————

Lucas spent the first few minutes after Eliott had sent the message standing on the sidewalk and staring at his screen. He exited the app and reopened it to make sure the message wasn’t a figment of his imagination and his mind wasn’t playing, what would be, a very mean trick on him. It wasn’t until his brain kicked into gear that he started to freak out.

“Oh my god, he really just-” Lucas didn’t know what to do. Here was the boy that he liked if he could even call it that seeing as it had only been one day since they met, saying that Lucas was beautiful and now all of a sudden Lucas didn’t know how to act. Maybe Yann would know? Lucas opened his messages and tapped on the conversation with Yann.

13:23 pm Lucas: YANN

13:25 pm Lucas: YANN JSNDJE

13:26 pm Lucas: LOIK AT RHIS

13:26 pm Lucas: [1 image attatchment]

13:27 pm Lucas: WHAT DO I DO?

13:31 pm Lucas: STOP FLIRTING WITH EMMA AND HELP ME

13:37 pm Lucas: you suck, i’m coming to the store

The walk back to King’s Grove felt like it took forever. Now that it was later in the day more people were outside. Some were running errands, some were just out walking, but all of them were in Lucas’ way. He lost count of how many shoulders he bumped into. It wasn’t until Lucas was pulling open the door to Frizzies that he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Emma looked up from her place at the register as the bell above the door rang.

She smiled at him, “Lucas! You’re back.”

“Hi Em, do you know where Yann is?”

“We were just talking a minute ago,” Lucas mentally rolled his eyes, “he might be in the back? You’re welcome to go look.”

Lucas thanked Emma and headed towards the back room. He found Yann sitting at a table, eating a sandwich from the cafe. Lucas walked up behind him and lightly slapped his shoulder.

Yann whipped his head around, “Ow! What the hell?”

Lucas glared at him, “That’s for not answering my messages. I’m in the middle of a crisis, Yann!” Lucas sat down into a chair across from his friend. Yann rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“What are you talking about?”

Lucas opened up his phone to his messages with Eliott and slid it across the table, “This!”

Yann read the messages and looked back up at Lucas after a minute. The two stared at each other, but Lucas was the first to speak.

“What?”

Yann sighed, “Lucas… you know he can see that you read this right? And it’s been what? Almost two hours since he sent it?”

Lucas twisted his head around to find the clock attached to the wall, his eyes growing wide while reading 14:35, “Oh shit, oh my god. He probably thinks he creeped me out or something. I just didn’t know how to respond. Yann, I have to fix this.”

“Woah, breathe Luc. It’s gonna be okay. Just message him back and say thank you.” Yann reached over the table and laid a comforting hand onto Lucas’s shoulder.

“I know it seems like I’m overreacting, and maybe I am, but no one like Eliott has ever made me feel like this, Yann. It’s been less than 24 hours since I met the guy but I can’t get him out of my head. There’s something here that I don’t want to lose, I just don’t know what that thing is yet.”

Yann looked across the table at Lucas, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Lucas may not know what it is, but Yann sure had a guess. Lucas had never talked about someone like this. After Lucas came out, the gang had promised to always have Lucas’s back, and they’d be his wingmen when needed. While most of the time, the boys failed to find someone up to his “standards” (though Yann would disagree with that statement, simply calling Lucas picky), Lucas was glad to have friends like them. Seeing Lucas so upset at the current situation, Yann knew that he truly didn’t want this to ruin his chances with Eliott.

“Well, we know he finds you attractive, so that’s a good sign, right?” Yann asked.

“I mean, yeah I guess,” Lucas shrugged, “but that won’t mean anything if he decides he doesn’t want to talk to me because I left him on seen.” Lucas put his head in his hands, “I’m usually able to talk to guys, why is this so hard?”

Yann chuckled, “Luc, I think you actually like this guy, that’s the difference.”

“That’s the thing though, I don’t even know anything about him. I know his name, his Instagram and where he works, but that’s it.”

“So? Find something to talk about, learn more about him. What do you think dates are for?” Yann raised an eyebrow, “I bet if you asked him to go out right now he’d say yes.”

Lucas raised his head, “Haha, very funny. Not happening. I don’t need to embarrass myself anymore just because you think he’d say yes.”

Yann raised his hands in mock surrender, “Hey, I’m just saying. When have I ever been wrong?”

“Well,” Lucas tilted his head to the side, “how about the time we went to that party and I said maybe we shouldn’t get completely wasted because we had a test the next day and you said, “Luc, we’ll be fine!” but we ended up missing that test because we were nursing our hangovers? Or there was the time you told Baz that the girl at the pretzel stand was hitting on him, so he went up there only to get a smoothie thrown in his face? And let’s not forget the time when the only milk left in the fridge was expired but you said it would be okay to drink and all four of us-”

“Okay!” Yann cut Lucas off, “There have been times where I was wrong, I get it. But I know I’m right about this.”

Lucas hummed in response, looking back at the open messages on his phone when Yann spoke up again, “What if you went to see him?”

Lucas’s head shot up at the suggestion, “You mean like right now?”

“Well, yeah. His store is just across the street, it’s not like you have to go far.” Yann was looking at Lucas, waiting for his reply.

“I don’t know, Yann.” Lucas sighed, “Wouldn’t be weird for me to show up to his store after not replying to his message. By accident.”

“Right. Well, as I said earlier, maybe just respond with a thank you and see where it goes? At least let him know you didn’t mind the compliment. With leaving him on seen he might think you aren’t interested.”

“I hate this. I’m gonna head over the cafe to get some lunch. Thanks, Yann.”

Yann smiled at him, “No problem, dude. We’ll figure this out.”

Lucas made his way out of the backroom and towards the front of the store. Emma was still at the register. Lucas said goodbye as he left the music store and headed across the street to the cafe. Lucas pulled the door open and stepped inside. All at once, he was hit with the smell of fresh-baked bread and lemon. He glanced around the cafe, spotting Manon behind the counter ringing a customer up and Alexia plating some pastries behind the glass display case. Lucas was here to eat lunch, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to update the girls on the Eliott situation. He made his way over to the line behind the register and looked up at the menu. He settled on a sandwich and, of course, one of their danishes.

“Hey!” Manon was looking at him with a smile on her face, “you’re back again! What can I get you?”

Lucas told her his order and Manon rang him out. It wasn’t until she was handing him his change that he added, “When you and Alex get a second, could I talk to you guys?”

Manon looked at him questioningly, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes! I think. I just have to tell you guys about the Eliott thing.”

A smile broke out on Manon’s face, “Oh! The Eliott thing, is that what we’re calling this? Once Alexia and I can catch a break we’ll come to find you.”

“Thanks, Manon.”

She nodded her head and Lucas went to go sit down. He picked a booth in the back corner, away from the late lunchtime rush. Lucas peered out the window and watched the people outside. There was an older man laughing at something the woman next to him said. There was also a little boy holding on to his mother’s hand as they walked down the cobblestone street. They reminded Lucas of himself and his mother when he was younger and everything was a little less complicated. Lucas didn’t hear the incoming footsteps, but the voice startled him out of his daze.

“Hi there.” It was Eliott.

“Uh, h-hi.” Lucas gulped, was Eliott angry with him? For not replying to his message?

“Is everything alright?” Eliott asked. “You look like you might faint.”

Oh god, Lucas would never be able to face Eliott again if he fainted. He needed to chill the fuck out. He could be suave right? He had been with the ladies once upon a time.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, dude. Nothing to worry about here,” Lucas chuckled. “Just haven’t eaten in a while, you know?”

Eliott slid into the booth across from him. His knees brushed Lucas’ and Lucas couldn’t help but blush at the slightest bit of contact.

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten since breakfast this morning, business is always busy at Barney’s, especially during this time of year.” Eliott smiled at him.

God, that smile. All Lucas wanted was to be able to make Eliott smile, and kiss the apples of his cheeks when he did.

“I’ll be right back, I’ve been craving one of their danishes lately,” Eliott stood up and then turned back at Lucas. “By the way, you’re cute when you blush.”

Once Eliott had reached the counter and began ordering, Lucas finally felt his lungs give out from the breath he had been holding. This boy was so flirtatious, and Lucas had no experience in flirting, at least with men anyway.

Eliott returned to his seat across from Lucas, only to be greeted with Alexia carrying plates of food in her arms.

“Ham and cheese sandwich accompanied by a sweet cheese danish for Lucas,” Alexia retrieved Lucas’ plate and set it across from him. “And a cherry jam danish for the dashing gentleman.” Alexia smiled at Eliott and offered her hand. “I’m Alexia, you must be Eliott, the boy Lucas won’t stop talking about.”

Eliott glanced at Alexia’s hand before shaking it. “So he’s been talking about me?” Eliott grinned at Alexia before he cocked an eyebrow at Lucas, which only made Lucas blush harder.

“He sprinted in here this morning bright and early just for us to tell him all about you. However, he only ran into a dead end since we didn’t know much about you. The love in his eyes would make any woman melt or man in this case.”

Lucas slapped Alexia’s arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

Lucas widened his eyes and nodded towards Eliott.

“Right! I’ll leave you guys alone. Have fun you two!” Alexia smiled and waved back at them as she was heading towards the counter to return to her duties.

“So, you’ve been talking about me?”

“Yeah,” Lucas felt cornered. Was he really going to confess his one-day-old crush to Eliott already? No, no way. “She’s just joking, you know how best friends are.” Lucas poked and prodded at his danish, embarrassed.

“Yeah, Idriss wouldn’t stop talking about how clumsy I was to Mrs. Lawerence one day when I broke two vases. The first time wasn’t even my fault! Ginger was the one who knocked the vase over!” Eliott shook his head and took a bite of his danish.

“Okay, wait, who’s Mrs. Lawerence and Ginger?” Lucas asked.

“Mrs. Lawerence was a good friend of my grandfather’s and Ginger is the cat that always hangs out in the garden behind the shop and sometimes hangs out inside during the summers, she gets herself into trouble.”

“I see,” Lucas chuckled, both at the story and the fact that he was starting to relax. “Hey, I’m sorry for not replying to your message earlier.”

“Oh! It’s okay, I figured you got busy or something,” Eliott took another bite of his sandwich. “I hope I didn’t freak you out or anything by what I said. I have a tendency-”

Lucas cut him off.

“You didn’t freak me out.”

“Good,” Eliott sighed in relief. “Would you like to hang out after this? If you’re not busy of course, we could go to the garden behind the shop. Maybe you can meet Ginger?”

Was Eliott asking him out on...a date? No, he couldn’t be. They’re just going to “hang out”, as friends do, not as boyfriends do.

“Yeah, sure,” Lucas took a bite of his sandwich. “I’d love to.”

———————————————————————

It was dusk now, the birds were singing peaceful lullabies and most of the shops were closing for the day, including Barney’s. Lucas followed Eliott into the alleyway.

“This looks like a great place for me to get murdered, great choice, Eliott,” Lucas chuckled at his own joke unless...was Eliott a serial killer?

“And then, Lucas was never to be seen again,” Eliott said and then laughed wickedly. “Seriously, I’m not a serial killer though.” Eliott finally unlocked the wooden gate leading to the oasis among the shops. “Welcome to my evil lair!” Eliott laughed maniacally again.

“You’re starting to creep me out,” Lucas chuckled and followed Eliott through the gate.

Lucas gaped at the garden before him. A gravel path trailed down the center of the garden. It was divided by another, less intimidating wooden fence than before, guarded by another gate. Behind the gate was a greenhouse that held fruit trees of many kinds as well as tropical flowers. A variety of trees and shrubbery surrounded the greenhouse. To the right of the greenhouse were wooden boxes, displaying newly sprouted plants from the soil, each marked by a popsicle stick that labeled the names of each row of sprouts. On the other side of the divided garden was what looked like to be a place for hosting and maybe being a place to get away from the busy shop life. Lucas knew he could spend hours here, especially with Eliott.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Eliott asked, looking down and meeting Lucas’ eyes. “I used to come out here all the time when I was a kid, to paint and to read, I still do.”

Lucas jumped at the sudden contract at his feet with an orange cat, brushing between his ankles and it’s tail wrapping around his leg.

“This is Ginger, I’m assuming?”

“The very one,” Eliott squatted down to pet her and Lucas matched his stance. “She likes to be petted on her neck.”

“Here?” Lucas asked and touched Ginger’s neck to which she hissed and pawed at Lucas, catching him off guard. Lucas leaned back, missing Ginger’s claws.

“No,” Eliott laughed and reached for Lucas’ hand. He placed it on the side of Ginger’s neck. “See? Feel her purring?”

Lucas could feel it, but it wasn’t the only thing purring. Lucas’ heart raced and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Eliott didn’t remove his hand. It was warm and comforting. He kept it there and felt Ginger’s purring with him. Lucas prayed it was too dark to tell that Lucas was blushing even though Eliott already called it cute.

Lucas felt the need to change the subject in order to keep his cool.

“So, you paint?” Lucas asked, glancing between Eliott and the cat.

“Yeah! I actually used to host art shows in this garden, but I mostly paint for myself now,” Ginger became fed up with Lucas’ atrocious petting technique and moved into Eliott’s lap, Eliott petted her tenderly. “It’s funny,” Eliott giggled. “I have this obsession with sunflowers.”

Lucas remembered the sunflower being held up in front of Eliott’s face on his Instagram profile.

“I assume that’s your favorite flower then?” Lucas asked, picking at the grass beneath him.

“It’s only the best choice as far as favorite flowers go,” Eliott explained, rolling the sleeves up of his grey sweater, revealing a tattoo of a flower with an eye in the middle along with another tattoo in a cursive script that Lucas couldn’t read in the dim light. “I mean, who wouldn’t choose that as their favorite flower? It’s bright and beautiful, it reminds me of summer no matter what time of year I look at it.”

Lucas smiled at the easy conversation. That’s how everything has felt so far with Eliott. Easy. He couldn’t even think as to why he was so nervous this morning, all he had to do was talk to him.

“Lucas, you look like you’re thinking hard about something,” Eliott stared at him and tilted his head like a confused puppy. “What is it?”

“I’m thinking…” Lucas trailed off. He couldn’t reveal how much this conversation meant to him. He couldn’t tell Eliott that his eyes had a certain sparkle no star could ever match when he talked about something that he was passionate about. Shit, for all Lucas knows, Eliott is straight. “about how much I want to see these paintings of yours.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!” Eliott jumped up and offered his hand to Lucas.

“Wait, now? Where are we going?”

“To my apartment!” Eliott exclaimed. Lucas saw Eliott’s frown in reaction to Lucas’ panicked look. “Lucas, you don’t have to go,” Eliott started giggling. “I promise I’m not a murderer.”

Lucas couldn’t let this get to him. This boy is straight, Lucas told himself. Nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t that Lucas was afraid of Eliott being a serial killer or anything of the sort, he was afraid that he would have his first kiss tonight, or his first time. A series of new experiences could happen tonight, one after another, but was Lucas ready for it?

“Says you! I bet your last victim is buried beneath me right now!” Lucas joked. Eliott’s expression remained unchanged. “I’m kidding.” Lucas took Eliott’s hand and stood up. He blushed at contact that sent shivers through his spine and butterflies soaring in his stomach.

“So, you’ll come with me?” Eliott smiled, still holding Lucas’ hand. Lucas nodded and felt Eliott’s thumb stroke his knuckles.

———————————————————————

At the end of King’s Grove were some apartment complexes, mostly for the shop keepers, but some hipsters and retired folks lived among them too. The buildings matched the rest of Annecy with a bright color palette. The apartment complex was only a short walk from the flower shop.

The two trailed up the stairs and were greeted by a white door with a wreath made up of delicate flowers including some Baby’s Breath from what Lucas could recognize.

“Cute wreath.” Lucas chuckled.

“I know, I know, it was a housewarming gift from Mrs. Lawrence,” Eliott unlocked the door. “Anyways, welcome to casa de Eliott.”

Lucas was greeted with a massive amount of greenery scattered about the apartment. There were flowers tucked in various vases and bottles, and pots of ferns and vines rested upon shelves. All of the plants were kept neatly trimmed and didn’t appear to be unruly. Along the walls were paintings of sunflowers in many styles, some realistic and others more cartoonish. The kitchen and the living room were joined together and felt spacious despite how small the apartment actually was. Lucas walked around in the living room as Eliott was looking for something to drink in the fridge. Lucas could spot what seemed to be a garden on the balcony.

“Don’t trip on Francine!” Eliott warned Lucas. Lucas looked down at the small pot of succulents at his feet. “She’s very fragile,” Eliott walked over, handing Lucas one of the beers he found in the fridge and moved “Francine” to the coffee table behind Lucas. “My apologies for all the plants, whatever we don’t have room for in the shop, I take home.”

“But you name your plants?” Lucas asked, twisting off the metal lid off the bottle.

“Of course! What do you think I am? Crazy?” Eliott grabbed his beer and twisted off the cap as well. “Cheers.” The two clinked bottles and took a drink.

“Well, I don’t own any plants to name, plus I’d kill them anyway,” Lucas approached the wall, studying one of the sunflower paintings. It was just a sunflower on a white canvas, but it was painted thick globs of paint that appeared still wet as if Lucas could mess it up with a single touch. “I like this one,” Lucas said as Eliott stood beside him.

“Me too,” Eliott smiled, admiring the painting before them, taking another drink from the bottle in his hand. “I feel like a sunflower is somehow the representation of me.”

“What do you mean?” Lucas asked, giving Eliott a puzzled look.

“Sometimes, I appear happy and people don’t see the darkness that goes on within me, you know?” Eliott’s bright smile left his face.

“Wow, that was pretty deep,” Lucas chuckled at his comment, trying to lighten the mood. “What flower do you think represents me?”

Eliott turned to face Lucas now, they were so close to each other. Lucas could feel Eliott’s breath on his face.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.”

It felt like Eliott was staring into his soul. Lucas could kiss him, right here, right now. He could push every fear aside and just kiss him. He could make their forever start today, he could-.

“Do you smoke?” Eliott asked, pulling a joint from his pocket.

“Oh, I used to,” Lucas stared at the joint. Getting drunk and high with Eliott? What could go wrong! “I still do sometimes, with my friends.”

Eliott nodded and lit the join between his lips, once he lit it he took a long drag and removed it from his lips. Lucas stared at the puff of smoke that escaped from Eliott’s lips. Fuck, he’s so hot.

Eliott offered Lucas the joint and he took it, taking a long drag from it and exhaling. He was starting to relax more and more as the alcohol and weed took effect. He felt himself beginning to unwind.

“God, I can’t believe someone like you names their plants,” Lucas said as he leaned back on the couch. “You’re, like, ridiculously handsome too, I bet women find it sweet as hell that a hot guy like you names his plants.” Lucas laughed and shook his head. Fuck, what was he even saying right now?

“They do,” Eliott laughed along with him. “My ex-girlfriend found it hilarious.”

So that was it, Eliott was straight. Lucas was just starting to think that he got lucky, being in the apartment and sitting across from the most beautiful man he had ever seen. That was it, the end of their forever, all over in the span of one day. Lucas felt a sob in the back of his throat, he could never change how Eliott saw him. He could never kiss those lips or play with his gorgeous golden hair. Back to the fucking drawing board.

Ping! Finally, something to pull Lucas out of his thoughts and get him out of here. He could breakdown at any moment.

22:17 p.m. Yann: Hey, Lu. I just got home. Where are you?

“Everything alright?” Eliott asked.

22:18 p.m. Lucas: yeah, sorry, i had a drink with eliott and lost track of time.

22:19 p.m. Yann: Oooooo. I hope I’m not interrupting! Are you still a virgin?

“Um, yeah, I should go. My friends are wondering where I am,” Lucas glanced up at Eliott, hardly able to look at him. Hard to think that Lucas possibly had a chance with a boy like Eliott.

22:19 p.m. Lucas: no you’re fine. i actually was just leaving. and yes, i am very much a virgin.

22:20 p.m. Yann: Lucas, I don’t want you to walk home by yourself. I‘m sending an uber for you. Send me your location.

22:20 p.m. Lucas: [Lucas shared his location with you]

Lucas stood up and placed his phone in his pocket. He headed for the door and Eliott followed.

“Lucas, are you sure you’re okay?” Eliott asked as Lucas stepped into the hall.

“Yeah, yeah fine. It’s just been a while since I was high,” Lucas lied. Well, not a total lie, but that wasn’t what was causing his sudden urge to bolt. “Been a while, you know?” Eliott nodded.

“I hope you feel better,” Eliott said, placing his hand on Lucas’ shoulder.

As much as Lucas didn’t want to feel the sparks and the butterflies, he did. Lucas smiled and waved before heading down the stairs.

Lucas reached the bottom of the stairs and waited for Uber to arrive. He hugged himself to keep himself warm from the cold breeze that was blowing. How could he be so stupid? Falling for a boy who is out of his league and is straight. He felt like a fool.

The Uber pulled up, rolling down her windows and greeting Lucas. Lucas was about to enter the car when he heard running footsteps and a voice.

“Wait!”

It was Eliott. What could he possibly want out of me? Lucas thought.

“Lucas, wait,” Lucas turned to meet Eliott jogging up to him. “Let me take you out tomorrow.”

“Out? Why?” Lucas asked, gazing up at Eliott. God, that face, he would never get tired of looking at it.

“I want to get to know you,” Eliott explained. Lucas was silent, thinking if he should really continue to break his heart more. “Please, for me, for us.”

Lucas couldn’t pass this up. He might not get his forever with Eliott as lovers, but he couldn’t pass up a forever with him as friends.

“I’d love to, Eliott.”

[catchester]

RULE | Chapter One

Blurb: Loki won at the end of Avengers and imposed his rule on the people of Earth. Now Thor has returned to free humanity from his tyranny . . . only the humans don't seem very keen on that idea.

Former anti-Loki terrorist, now Loki's fiancé, Rhiannon, meets Thor and his warriors and attempts to show him the improvements that Loki has made to society. Can Thor put aside his prejudices, or will he ruin all the good Loki has done under the guise of freeing the Earth?

Chapter One

Present Day

Rhiannon watched as the beam of light hit Trafalgar Square and after sharing a look with the guards on either side of her, she took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face, and prepared to greet their guests.

“I am Thor of Asgard,” a voice boomed before the light of the bifrost had even dimmed. Just in case everyone hadn’t noticed the giant beam of light, the lightning strike hitting his hammer a moment later, along with the accompanying thunder, ensured that hardly a soul in greater London failed to notice his arrival. “I have come for the traitor, Loki! Where is he?”  

“Oh crap,” Rhiannon sighed, her smile falling away.  

The passers-by were crowding around the arrivals, jeering and this being a busy metropolis like London, the crowd quickly swelled. 

“Help me make a path,” she said to her two guards as people began throwing things, and they helped her push through the crowd to the middle where Thor and his friends were waiting.  

“Everyone, please,” she turned her back to Thor, trusting her guards to literally watch her back while she addressed the crowd.  

The crowd quieted almost immediately.

“Nothing is going to happen to Loki, you can go about your business safe in the knowledge that Loki invited his brother here, and all is well in the House of Friggason.” 

The people now just looked confused and curious.  

“Please do not jeer our honoured guests.” She ducked as a coffee cup sailed past her and judging from the startled grunt she heard behind her, hit found its target. “Or throw things at them.” She lowered her voice and tried injecting some warmth. “Remember the uncertainty you felt when Loki became our leader, and try to understand that our visitors know nothing of how life on Earth has changed in the past eight years. Be kind to them.”

There were some murmurs from the crowd, but mostly they just seemed curious now, and eager to see what was going to happen.  

Rhiannon turned back to the Aesir. 

“Prince Thor,” she bowed but not particularly low. “Welcome to Earth.” She stood upright and kept her gaze on Thor, ignoring for the moment the Warriors Three and Sif, who had accompanied him.  

“Where are the others we travelled with,” Thor demanded, “the Einherjar?” 

“Loki does not wish to fight with you, Thor. He couldn’t allow you to bring your soldiers here, but he allowed your friends through. He hopes that you will show patience and allow me to show you how well the Earth is doing.” 

Thor looked around and saw a world much like the one he’d had come to when he was banished to Earth by Odin, except no one here was looking kindly at him now.  

“Where is Loki?” Sif demanded, stepping forward. 

“I’ll take you to him. I’m Rhiannon, by the way, people generally call me Rhi or Ray.” She held her hand out and after a hesitation, Thor shook it. “These are my friends, Sarah and Peter.” 

“Guards, more like,” Sif murmured.  

“True,” Rhiannon nodded. “Loki insisted, I’m afraid, but we all know that human guards could do little against Aesir warriors.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Rhiannon,” Thor butted in to ease tensions. “These are my friends, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun, and the Lady Sif.” 

Rhiannon bowed her head at each as Thor pointed them out. “Very pleased to meet you all, I’ve heard much about you. If you’ll come this way, I’ll take you to Loki.”  

She turned and walked away, her guards staying close but not crowding her. The crowd parted for them and slowly began to disperse, although all eyes remained on them.  

Thor followed after her but he was clearly nonplussed. 

“I’m a little confused by events,” he admitted, falling into step beside her.  

“I’m sure,” she smiled. “I’ve arranged lunch not far from here, so we’ll have plenty of time to chat.”  

“Why did my army not come through the portal?” he asked again.  

“Loki’s magic has been keeping you off Earth, or Midgard, as you call it. When he decided to let you visit, we thought it best not to allow the Einherjar as well. We don’t want to start another war, and I’m afraid humans would be sadly out matched by your people.”  

“You speak as if you would fight for Loki.”  

“Did you not hear those people when you first arrived?”  

“It was a trick, some kind of mind control. Loki clearly has you all in his thrall!”  

“No.” Rhiannon smiled and shook her head. “When Loki first arrived, there was much resistance. I was a part of it, and I tried to assassinate him on many occasions, but over time it became clear that he wanted what was best for the Earth.” 

“I don’t believe you,” Thor challenged.  

“I don’t expect you do, but a lot has happened in the eight years you’ve been gone.” She stepped up to a door and opened it. “Please, after you.”  

Thor strode into the restaurant and looked around. “Where is Loki, I thought you were taking us to him?”  

“I am, but I didn’t say he would be joining us for lunch. Loki is in Europe at the moment, and we will be joining him there.” 

They were shown to a table and all sat down.  

“If Loki knew we were coming, why not open a portal to his location?” Volstagg asked.  

“Because I advised him not to,” Rhiannon explained. “From everything he’s told me about the Aesir, you’re a ‘hit first and ask questions later’ kind of people. I and others knew you wouldn’t believe anything Loki had to say, so we advised him to be elsewhere when you arrived. I volunteered to come and meet you, then as we journey to him, you can see for yourself how happy we are under his rule.”  

“No, it’s a trick,” Fandral said, but with a slight smile on his face, as though he expected Loki to pop out yelling ‘Surprise!’

“There is no trick,” Rhiannon assured them, looking to Sarah and Peter who nodded in agreement. 

“Honestly, life is way better now,” Sarah agreed.  

“And our wages have gone up like 70%. I think the average wage increase is about that too.” 

“And what do you do?” Thor asked them, sounding wary.  

“We’re police officers,” Sarah replied.  

“Don’t you have a uniform?”  

“I asked them not to wear it,” Rhiannon explained. “I thought it best if we all dressed casually.” 

“But what about weapons?” Hogun asked.  

“British police don’t carry guns,” Peter explained.  

“We have got Tasers,” Sarah offered, “although I seriously doubt that scares you lot.”  

Thor shuddered slightly but too much was happening for Rhiannon to ask the reason he disliked Tasers. 

“We’re here to make sure Rhiannon is safe, crowd control, that sort of thing.” Peter added, but Rhiannon wished he hadn’t said that.  

“Crowd control? Do you often get mobbed?” Fandral asked her.  

“Since her engagement to Loki was announced, she does,” Sarah offered.  

“You’re marrying Loki?” Sif sounded disgusted.  

“Yes,” Rhiannon said, no shame on her face at all; she might not have wanted to address this but she wasn’t ashamed. “The head of the London resistance is marrying the nasty invader she tried to kill three times. Is that okay with you?”  

Sif scoffed but Fandral laughed, asking, “Should I offer my congratulations?”  

“No need to sound so hesitant,” Rhiannon assured him. “I’m very happy with him.” 

“I think perhaps you’d better start at the beginning,” Thor suggested.  

***

December 2012

The plan had worked perfectly. Over the past few months Rhiannon and three of her comrades had worked their way into Loki’s personal staff and carefully, a little each day, smuggled in the explosives and equipment necessary to make a bomb. 

The electronic components they smuggled past security inside a mobile phone and the plastic explosive was moulded into the shape of a teddy bear and clipped onto her handbag, like a keyring. It had the consistency of plasticine or playdough and after being kept in the fridge overnight, was quite solid, she and the others just had to be careful not to knock it on anything. 

Rhiannon was employed as one of Loki’s secretaries, her job, along with five other women, was to distil reports from around the world into helpful bulletins for Loki, ranked in order of urgency. 

Rhiannon had got the job because as well English, she was fluent in Spanish, French and German, as well as knowing a little Portuguese and Dutch.

Her three co-conspirators were working as cleaners since that gave them access to his office, and some of the cleaning chemicals they used, such as acetone and hydrogen peroxide, could be used to make bombs and would increase the payload of their device. Each evening they cleaned his office and day by day, they built the bomb, sometimes hiding electrical components, sometimes hiding the plastic explosives. The cleaning fluids were being ordered a little at a time and would be brought to his office on the cleaning cart and would just be used to enhance the explosive power of the plastics. 

The cleaners worked in pairs and work schedules changed daily for security reasons, so those cleaning Loki‘s office weren’t always paired with a fellow rebel and able to leave supplies, but slowly they built up enough plastic explosives and they waited patiently until two of them were tasked with cleaning his office on the same night.

Since Loki’s timetable varied, Rhiannon’s task was too manually set off the bomb when he entered the office. She, along with the other translators, worked from an office near Loki’s so they were on hand for breaking news, and she had a clear view of him arriving each morning. 

That day she got in early so that the bomb could be detonated the moment Loki arrived, hopefully before he had any meetings so that no one else would be hurt. The bomb was in his desk so Loki would receive the full blast, while they had calculated that this building should be able to withstand the force of the bomb, although with the added cleaning chemicals, Rhiannon wasn’t as sure of that as she would have liked. It was possible that some people may be hurt but with a little luck, she was confident that Loki would be the only fatality. 

There had been other attempts on his life, of course, but they probably hadn’t planned as well as Rhiannon and her friends had, but she knew their plan was good and she really thought that they would succeed. She thought that the other assassination attempts had failed because of incompetence, or poor planning, or any number of mistakes which could derail even the best plans. 

Well her plan would not be derailed, she thought as she spied Loki walking past her office. She grabbed the detonator, which looked like a mobile phone and she jogged out of her office, walking behind Loki. 

It was still early so the place was quiet, most people who had arrived for work were in the breakroom, eating breakfast or topping up caffeine levels before they got started. She saw two other people in their offices as she passed them and she could only hope that they would be okay. 

Loki cut a very elegant figure in his suits and were he anything other than a monster, she would be admitting the view right now, but he was and she had a job to do. 

Her breathing was ragged and she did her best to control it, worried that even from ten feet away he might hear her, but he never turned around. His assistant wasn’t outside his office yet, and Rhiannon gave thanks that another person was out of danger. 

Loki entered his office and Rhiannon stopped moving as soon as his door closed. 

“One one-thousand,” she whispered. “Two one-thousand, three one-thousand.” The cleaning staff had carefully timed how long it took to walk from the door to sit behind the desk. “Seven one-thousand, eight one-thousand-”

Her sweaty thumb pressed the call button and . . . nothing happened. 

She pressed it again and again and again, stepping closer in case she was too far away, although this should work over a distance of 50 feet, she’d been told, and through walls. 

Then an almighty bang nocked her off her feet, just in time for a heavy wooden door to sail past where her head had been moments ago. 

They’d done it. They’d done it! People began to scream as she grinned. THEY’D DONE IT!!

It wasn’t until he walked out of his room, covered in soot and with his suit torn and scorched but otherwise unharmed, that the truth dawned on her. It wasn’t that those other people hadn’t failed or messed up, it was that human weapons couldn’t harm him. Well, maybe a nuke, but she didn’t have one of those handy. What she did have was the paring knife she had stolen from the kitchen weeks ago and stored in her desk.   

In for a penny, in for a pound, as her mum used to say, she got to her feet and with a primal scream, ran at him, the knife held before her.  

Needless to say, he stopped her with ease by grabbing her wrist.  

He looked furious but after a moment his features cleared as he recognised her and she would swear he looked hurt. 

She almost felt bad, after all, he had trusted her. But it didn’t matter how personable he was, he was an alien conqueror and he  deserved  to have his staff turn on him.

His features hardened once again but other than perhaps holding her wrist a little too tightly, he didn’t harm her, even although she kicked and struck at him in an attempt to get free.  

“Take her to the cells in the basement,” he told the security guards as they arrived. 

She was dragged away but she turned back as she heard Loki roar, just in time to see him put his fist through the wall beside his door. 

Although they hadn’t come into work, her friends and co-conspirators were quickly rounded up and placed in the cells beside her by lunchtime. 

She expected torture, or at least questioning. Instead her cell was reasonably comfortable, the food was the same as was served in the palace above and there were no screams of torture from the other prisoners. She kept asking what was happening but the guards wouldn’t tell her. 

After her second night in the cell she was taken out and she thought that now was when the horror would begin, especially when she was brought in front of Loki. The guards sat her down on a chair opposite the desk Loki sat behind, then they stood either side of her, guarding her in case she made a run for it, which, even with horrible odds, she was seriously considering.  

“Leave us,” Loki commanded and although the guards shared a look, they left the room.  

Loki watched her like predator and although she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she stared back and tried not to show how frightened she was.  

Finally he sat forward. “Why did you try to kill me?” he asked his tone conversational, and perhaps a little confused.  

“You invaded my planet. You enslaved my people!” 

“I’m trying to help!” he yelled, slamming his fist on the desk and causing her to flinch. He seemed disgusted by her cowardice and he got up and began pacing.  

“We don’t need your help!” she yelled, finding her courage once again.

“Of course you do!” he snapped back. “Your politicians are corrupt, you place profit over human life, you allow the elite few to hoard your wealth and resources, you pollute your planet, harm and kill each other- I could go on. You need help. Help I can give.”  

“We believe in democracy and we didn’t elect you,  King  Loki.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Whatever you’re called, we will never agree to your rule because it’s undemocratic.”  

“Your system is flawed, your elected officials are out for themselves, not the people who elected them, and decisions are made via backroom deals, not the democratic process they would have you believe is happening.”  

“And you’re above it all?” she scoffed.  

“I simply want to make Midgard a better place.” 

“You can’t!”  

“I have,” he argued. “I’ve reversed as much damage to your atmosphere as I can, caused by your pollution. I’ve invested in new technologies, I have plans to improve the infrastructure globally, beginning with developing countries. Already drought and food shortages are almost a thing of the past.” 

“Yes, and people are working on those projects because you’re forcing them to! We are not slaves!”  

 “They aren’t slaves!” Loki growled. “They are paid a very fair wage for their work and no one has been forced into anything.”  

“Except living under your rule!” 

Loki gave an exasperated sigh and sat back down. “What would you do?” he demanded.  

“I don’t understand.”  

“If you were me, what would you do?”  

“Kill myself.” She glared at him. 

Loki glared right back. “Assume everything I’ve told you is true, that I want to help the people of Midgard, and that I have no suicidal tendencies. What would you do?”  

Rhiannon shook her head but the bark of laughter that usually accompanied such an action wouldn’t come, and instead she found herself actually considering the question. 

Then it occurred to her that he wanted something from her. 

“I’ll tell you, I’ll answer any weird and wonderful questions you may have, but only if you free my friends.”  

“The guards didn’t tell you? They’re already free.” 

“They’re…?”  

“Free, yes. No one was hurt so your only crime was property damage, and as you can see, I’ve already repaired that.”

He gestured around himself and she realised they were in the office that she had blown up, and it looked as good as new. She’d just assumed they were on a different floor or something. 

“Imprisoning you would only add credence to your claims that I’m a monster and I have no wish to martyr you or your friends.” He leaned his head back against his leather office chair and looked at the ceiling. “You can go too, if you wish. I don’t expect you’ll want to keep your job here, will you? It’s a shame, you were very professional.” 

“This is a trick.”  

“It’s not.” He looked over at her and sat forward. “Go on, go. Leave, see for yourself.” 

She didn’t move.  

“GO!” he yelled, bringing his hand down on the desk with such force that it sounded like a bullet and she flinched again, but that gave her the impetus she needed to leave so she ran from the room.  

She sprinted outside the building and found her friends waiting on the street. So he really had let them go.  

They seemed as bewildered by the turn of events as she was so they made their way to a local café so they could talk.  

They wondered if it was a trap, if perhaps they were bugged and were supposed to lead the authorities back to other members of the resistance, but they each went into the toilets and could find no bugs or homing devices.  

They bought new clothes and shoes anyway, dumping the old ones.  

They checked into a cheap hotel for a few nights but nothing happened, no strange people were seen watching or following them. Rhiannon even returned to the palace and waited outside a few times to see if they would follow her when she left, but nothing happened. She couldn’t help looking for signs of the blast while she dawdled though, although the only sign was some lighter bricks on the building’s exterior wall.

After a week her friends left London and returned to their families, but Rhiannon found herself returning to the palace.  

She knew now that Loki wasn’t going anywhere because human weapons simply didn’t kill him. A nuclear bomb might but since the news had reported they had all been disabled by some hackers, that was unlikely to be a viable option, for a while at least. So if Loki was their leader, then she could at least do something to help ensure that he ruled them well. What was the saying, if you can’t beat them, join them? 

She stood outside the palace for the best part of an hour, walking up and down the street, trying to pluck the courage up to approach. 

She’d been surprised when she’d heard that Loki had taken over St James's Palace rather than somewhere like Buckingham Palace or Westminster, somewhere more intimidating and with more prestige. Built in the 1500s St James’s was really rather modest for a palace. 

He’d eventually expanded to take over Clarence House, Lancaster House and York House and Rhiannon suspected it wouldn’t be long until he had to clear out more surrounding buildings as his staff needs increased. 

Finally she decided she was being an idiot and taking her confidence in hand, she strode up to the security guards and handed them her bag. She saw them looking for the little teddy keychain that used to be attached to her bag but they didn’t say anything to her, just searched the bag and handed it back. 

She nodded in thanks and approached the reception desk.

“I’d like to see Loki,” she told the Linda, the building’s receptionist.  

“Is he expecting you?” Linda sneered. She liked Loki. Most people here did, or they pretended to.  

“No, but he asked me a question and I have an answer for him.” 

“He’s busy today but if you want to take a seat, I might be able to find five minutes for you.”  

Rhiannon knew Linda had no intention of letting her see Loki, but she knew she must be notorious around here and if she sat in the lobby for long enough, word would eventually reach Loki.  

***

Loki was trying to suppress a smirk as Rhiannon was led into his office, although he wasn’t exactly trying hard.  

“Couldn’t stay away?” he asked. “Because I’m sorry to inform you, but we’ve filled your position.” 

“You asked me a question, I thought you might want to hear the answer.” 

Loki considered her for a moment, then gestured to the chair opposite. She sat down but perched on the edge, unsure how her words would be taken. She couldn’t help glancing around however, looking for any trace of the bomb blast. 

“Would you like refreshments?” he asked, the picture of civility. He was wearing another beautifully tailored suit again, one she would admire if it were anyone else wearing it. 

“No, thank you.” The civility of the encounter unnerved her but she was used to controlling her fear around him.  

“Straight down to business then. So what’s the answer, what would you do if you were me?”  

 “If you’re really serious about being a good leader, I’d fire almost everyone around you.”  

His head tilted to the side as he considered her. “Interesting. I can’t wait to hear your reasoning.”  

“You’re surrounded by sycophants and dilettantes,” she explained. “Everyone on Earth hates you, except those who could see that you were… inevitable, and to protect their own interests they sided with you. People like that never tell you the truth because the truth can alienate, they only ever say either what they think you want to hear, or what benefits them.”  

He seemed receptive to her idea and she wondered if it had occurred to him too. 

“So who would you suggest I replace them with?” he asked.

“People who want the best for Earth, maybe even people who don’t like you and will tell you the brutal truth.” 

“And where do I find such people?”  

“I’d start with the Avengers,” she told him. “You’ve got a Russian in the Black Widow, then you have someone who has travelled extensively, often living among the lower classes with the Hulk, a billionaire in Iron Man, an orphan raised in care with Hawkeye and,” she smiled slightly, “a pensioner in Captain America. They're a fairly diverse group.” 

“You know a lot about the Avengers,” he noted. 

“Most resistance fighters do, they’re our inspiration.”  

Loki’s smile widened.  

“I’d add a few more women to that list,” she continued, “Make the balance of your advisers 50/50.” 

“And people from other continents,” Loki added.  

“Of course,” she nodded. “But I was going to suggest you have representatives from different countries and regions form a council, so they can tell you what they need because while there’ll be a lot in common in what each region needs, England for example, will need vastly different things to, say, the Middle East.” 

“What does the Middle East need that England does not?”  

“ISIS needs to be stopped, everyone needs to stop bombing Syria, which also needs rebuilding. Some regions still have misogynistic things like honour killings, female genital mutilation, some places don’t let women go out alone or drive. And that’s just off the top of my head.”  

“Good advice indeed,” he flashed her a predatory smile. “Thank you for coming back.”  

She scowled, unwilling to acknowledge that she felt good being praised by this monster, or that she liked his smile.

“Thank you for seeing me,” she stood up. “And good luck.”  She got to her feet but Loki’s voice stopped her from leaving.  

“You’re wishing me luck?” 

She met his penetrating gaze. “If you mean what you say and you want to make Midgard a better place,” she shrugged. “I can’t kill you, so my only hope is that you’re telling the truth, in which case, good luck with it.” She turned and walked towards the door. 

“How would you feel about being one of my advisors?” Loki asked, stopping her in her tracks once more.  

Rhiannon turned back slowly.  

“Why?” 

“Because you’ve just proved that you can be brutally honest.”  

She wondered why she was hesitating. She hated this man, had hated him for 7 months in fact, so much so that she should just tell him to go to hell and storm out.  

Loki stood up and came around the desk.  

“You’re tempted,” he told her smugly. “You clearly have nothing to go home for or you wouldn’t have come back.” 

“I wanted-” 

“You could have sent a letter.”  

She stared at him as he approached, feeling rather like prey that was being stalked by a predator. It wasn’t a bad feeling though, more . . . exciting.  

“I have a life to go back to, a job, a home-” 

“But I can give your life purpose. If you work with me, you can literally change the world.” He passed behind her and her breath caught in her throat as she imagined him speaking directly into her ear with his silky-smooth voice. “How many people can say that?”  

“What are the terms?” she found herself asking.  

Loki came back into her eyeline and shrugged. “A hundred thousand pounds a year, accommodation provided, you’ll have to travel with me most of the time.” 

Her jaw dropped open in shock. “Is that what you’re paying your advisers right now?” 

“The lesser ones, why?”  

“That’s at least three times what teachers earn! And for what, giving you an opinion now and then?”  

Loki’s mirth fled and Rhiannon felt a frisson of fear.  

“What?” he demanded.  

“You want to pay me three times what a teacher earns for a fraction of the work.”

Loki looked appalled. “These people teach your children! They are quite literally entrusted with the future of your civilisation, and you expect to attract the best by paying them a pittance?” 

“No, I don’t, but teachers pay wasn’t my decision.” 

“Well your government’s then, why do they pay so little?”  

“I suppose because they can, because they don’t value teachers, and they don’t have the money to pay much.” 

“Why not? Your economy is thriving.”  

“True, but when the richest one percent in the world are hoarding half of the world’s wealth for themselves, then have the gall to use tax havens to hide trillions, it’s easy to understand why governments aren’t as rich as they could be.” 

“Why don’t your lawmakers do something about it?” he demanded.  

“Have you looked around your followers, Loki?” she demanded, starting to lose her cool now. “They are all part of the one percent, and they’ve all sucked up to you so that you let them keep their billions. Who gave you this place,” she gestured to the building around them. “Do you think most Londoners live in places with 60 rooms? Newsflash, they don’t. Most people who work in London can’t actually afford to live here, because rents are too high and wages too low, and no one but the super-rich can afford to actually buy a London property. You were given this place, and all the others you stay in, by wealthy people to keep you sweet, and guess what? It worked!”  

“One percent own half of the world’s wealth?” he asked.  

“Yes.”  

“No wonder your teachers are so poorly paid.” 

[coldgaybitch]

Diagnosis

Chapter 1: A new label

Its been less then 24hrs since I received a phone call which kind of confirmed my thoughts that I might have BPD but hearing a medical professional saying it just kind of solidified it. 

At first I was beyond happy to receive a diagnosis, finally I had something that helped me explain to people why I sometimes acted the way I did. I never really found something that described my personality so accurately and put my thoughts into words. 

I had a lot of trouble with sleeping recently and quickly kinda fell asleep and when I woke, nerves and concern over what this now meant for me crept it. I wanted to have someone near me tell me what to do, give me some sort of instruction but many things stopped me. 

The person who would understand this the most (a fellow psychology student) was celebrating one of our mutual friends birthday in lockdown and I did not want to be selfish and interrupt with my messed up feelings and conflict on my friends birthday. 

Later I had a DND (dungeons and dragons) session with them and some others over discord due to social distancing many of them were in homes or with each other while I was kinda stuck alone in student accomadation. Just before the session was meant to start I started crying and wailing, I felt weak or overcome with emotion that I just did not know how to handle. It was like a volcano erupting. I kinda slapped myself together and joined the session and explained to the person running it (the DM) what had gone down and not to say anything. They were kind and understanding and said if I need a moment I could step away. Me being stubborn said I would be fine and carried on through the game. 

Once the session finished, I kinda pounced on my psychology friend and asked if I could talk to them. I needed their kinda motherly and psychology understanding brain to help me work through things. However, they were housing another friend through lockdown and they were on the couch with them when I asked and I could see them wondering if they should go or stay. I made the decision to let them stay, even though I did not know them that well, they kinda got my head. Understood things that others did not.

Anyway I describe that I got my diagnosis and that it was EUPD (emotional unstable personality disorder otherwise known as BPD). They both sat with me as I kinda hid behind jokes and sarcastic comments as I tried to hide how nervous and scared I was. 

Anyway they stay as long as possible but they had to go talk to an old friend that they had scheduled too talk to and I felt kinda calm enough to kinda not break down. The keyword being “kinda”.

SO they both send separate messages of support saying they don't view me and differently which kinda makes me feel weird. Like I’m glad because I have not changed, I just got a kinda got a new label added to me:

                                   Rhi - Nerd - Goth - Gay and now with BPD!

Though at the same time I was like but now you kinda are looking at me a new way or is that just my anxiety talking. enkvbdfvknvods (begin the war with my head over what others are actually thinking of me).

So now how to rip of the mental band aid and tell my other friends that I have a personality disorder. It was kinda like coming out all over again but this time for a mental thing (I hate the word disorder or illness that is used to classify BPD with other stuff - but that's a different kinda emotional rant...thing). 

Anyway I put it as bluntly as possible and my friends are all supportive, bloody soft bastards (okay so maybe I care for them but this is me and admitting emotions and feelings which make me feel weak and exposed to people so not going to tell them that). 

Next Chapter: Telling my father - Fun times ahead. 

So telling my dad went just how I thought it would go, he asked if I was joking and having a laugh and that its impossible for me to have it for how could I possible have BPD. I’m very much a textbook case. You know the examples you have beneath a word in the dictionary, I feel like my name and life was written under the description for BPD. 

Anyway he kinda says he wants to talk about it more face to face when we have the chance, but quickly changes the subject to when I will be coming home from Uni. 

So I have no idea, thinking the coming out to my dad went okay...maybe..kinda..urghh

Chapter 3: Random other events of the day

Anyway after all this I kinda go through a rollercoaster of emotions. I update my uni counsellor service with my diagnosis. I go to the giant Tesco right beneath my accomadation to grab snacks and food to stuff down on. I get my period (great just the thing I needed - thanks mother nature, always looking out for me  :l )

I join a friends new rpg server, which I nothing about and I go for a walk late a night and become a three year old child excited about a bat flying around this small wooded pathway which is not hidden away but always feels safe and private from everyone else to me. 

Chapter 4: Right now I am feeling and doing this..

Anyway now I’m sitting on my laptop blasting Spotify, reading gay korrasami fanfiction and hoping someone else reads this and kinda tell me I’m not to crazy for feeling all this. 

Very much also in need of a hug but will have to have to settle for virtual ones. 

Also the mother psychology friend one told me jump on tumblr because it would help...not sure how this will all go.

Anyway that's it for now. I have BPD

FUCK MY LIFE

[chubberbaria]

(Attic) How about Laslow being a taste tester for some of the army's chefs? (Charlotte, Peri, Selena, Baria lol) Not that any know he's helping the others

this one is a long one, so putting it under the cut. 

Laslow groaned, his stomach was gurgling something fierce. Wandering the castle, he felt he might just keel over from hunger. It had been a few days of Xander giving the army a tighter regime on their diets, and well, Laslow wasn’t taking it too well. 

To be taking in less calories- and elss sweets, it was a whole other thing to adjust to. He sighed heavily, missing the sweet taste of chocolate cake, the savoury juice of a rare steak, the salty texture of garlic bread. Just the thought was making his mouth water. 

Then, he could smell something come from the kitchen. Of course, he couldn’t help but peek in a little. What he saw was a frusterated Charlotte, she had her hands on her generous hips as she looked at her cupcakes. No doubt, she made them for Corrin. More reason to sucker up to them. 

“Miss Charlotte?” Laslow announced his enterance, “My, what have you here? it smells absolutely darling.” He remarked, coming in behind her. 

Charlotte jumped slightly, then looked to laslow with a sugar sweet look. ‘Why Laslow! Just the person I was looking for- here.” her movements were abrupt and stilted, probably because she was rather huffy. 

Laslow looked at the cupcake shoved into his face, “Can you please try it? I can’t tell what’s wrong with it- is there anything wrong with it?” She asked. 

Laslow eyed the confectionary, then took it. A taste tester eh? Well, he wasn’t complaining, free food was free food. 

Rather happily, Laslow took a bite of the cupcake. He sighed contently to finally have food in his system, the sugar tingled at his tounge and the flavour of the strawberry icing exploded in his mouth. 

“Mm, it tastes good but could be a bit more moist.” Laslow suggested as he finished the treat. “The icing is rather sweet as well, blocks out the flavour of the cake. “ 

Charlotte thought, “that’s exactly what I was thinking... Thank you Laslow!” she smiled, pecking his cheek and causing him to blush. “Hey~ Can you maybe stay and continue taste testing for me?” She asked winking. 

“I-It would be my pleasure!” Laslow said happily. 

++

The next time Laslow found himself in the kitchen, it was because of Peri.

She had dragged him there because Peri wanted to make a feast for Lord Xander, being the sugar sweet retainer she was. This left Laslow as the taste tester, since she claimed “Laslow understands Lord Xander more than I!” He didn’t argue, Peri’s baking was phenominal. 

the problem came, with how stuffed he was. 

She made him try at least 3 different cakes, 5 diffferent pies, and 4 different custards. Now his stomach ached, full of sugar, and pushing against his belt. Laslow groaned as he saw peri bring him yet another dessert, this time creme puffs. 

“This one next Lazzy!” She giggled, placing it on his lips. 

Laslow tried to not whine as he ate it, “Just perfect...” he managed, his stomach growled in pain. He tried to rub the dome like surface in order to calm it. 

Peri hummed, “Well, if you say so!” She said happily before going back to baking. 

Laslow sighed, after what Charlotte did to him last week, he might have to look into getting bigger trousers... 

++

“Just try it!” 

“You’re sure you haven’t poisioned it? Added anything that could make me feel like dying?” 

“What- No! Gods you’re idiotic! Just try it PLEASE!” 

Laslow sighed, though felt a bit triumphant that he got Selena of all people to beg. He smiled a bit as he took the piece of chocolate and popped it into his mouth. 

“Mm... very cocoa-y... What does Lady Camilla like? If she doesn’t like sweet than it’s good.” Laslow remarked, he crossed hs arms ove rhis much softer chest. Laslow was thankful his mercenary outfit was rather baggy... though one could definitely tell he had a belly forming. 

“She likes sweet... Dammit i thought I had it this time.” Selena huffed, going back to the drawing board. “take the rest of the chocolates, give them to your boyfriend or something.” 

Laslow blushed, ‘I-I don’t have a boyfriend,”

“Sorry, are they a girl? I’ve never talked to them I can’t honestly tell.” 

Laslow blinked a few times. Rather dumbly as he was trying to register just what she meant by ‘boyfriend’ or girl? He was sure he didn’t hang around anyone but Owain and Xander He frowned a bit, but took the chocolates none the less. They were rather good after all. 

++

The hour was late, Laslow was placed on nightly duty. Mainly because Xander deemed it as punishment for his skirt chasing, as well as the weight he had gained. It was really showing now, the way his muffin top spilled over his belt and how his pants squeezed his thicker thighs. 

Laslow really couldn’t help it. Most of the chefs in the castle saw him as the best source for taste testing. He wasn’t srue why, but he never argued. Laslow loved sweets, and getting to see such lovely ladies happy was always a treat for him. 

As Laslow made his rounds, he frowned as he noticed a light was on in the kitchen. Who was up at such an hour? 

He rounded the corner, hand resting on his hilt just in case. What he saw was Baria, a rather new recruit to the Norhian army. But it seemed he was percariously perched on a chair, trying to get the caramel on the top shelf. 

Laslow cleared his throat, much like a cat, Baria jumped and toppled over from the chair. Laslow couldn’t help but chuckle a little before approaching. 

“Baria, what are you doing at such an hour?” He inquired. 

A groan came in response, Laslow came to Baria flat on his back. Looking up at Laslow from the floor, “Just... Some late night baking.” He sighed, Laslow wondered what made Baria always get such a far off look when talking to him. 

“Baking? Why couldn’t you have done it earlier in the day?”

“Because then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

Baria got back on his feet quickly, looking up at Laslow still from his rather short stature. He brushed himself off and smile. “though, the surprise is rather ruined now, isn’t it?” 

Laslow blinked, ‘Surprise?” 

“I was baking you ginger snaps.” 

Laslow was rather surprised by this, he and Baria were rather close. But he didn’t realize the man would make cookies for him. it was rather thoughtful, and he appreciated it immmensly. 

“Oh... Well, thank you... Why would you make me ginger snaps?” 

Baria blushed, Laslow frowned. “Just thought you’d like them.” He said warmly, going back to his baking. 

Laslow wasn’t sure what he meant by this, but he knew that he should try and keep the other company because of it. 

[winsister91]

Resistance...

Summary: She’s a seasoned Omega. Has her own routine and way to deal with her biology and she’s happy, to an extent. Until her Alpha shows up and throws a damn spanner in the works.

Characters: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Dean

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, mild dub-con maybe? and angst? IDK... chasing, submission, loss of ice cream

Word Count: 3200~

What’s A/B/O? Check out Rhi’s guide!

My Masterlist!

~ Sam and forever tags are open! ~

A/N: Uh oh. I went and fell into a Sam hole in my absence, and an a/b/o hole too! I blame @sofreddie and I’m sure she relishes that ;) This is my first go at a/b/o and I’m a lil nervous, so I kept it relatively safe and there’s no smut on this occasion, so please be gentle with me you horny animals. Here goes nothing!

The air started to acquire a chill in its undertones as Y/N walked down the high street. Her pace slightly quickened, noting the sky starting to go dark. Glancing at her watch, she realized she was due another dose suppressants soon and she rolled her eyes. It's not like she was worried about Alphas. She hated the stigma of Omega being submissive and vulnerable little things, ‘cause that’s everything she wasn’t. She carried herself with confidence, on the off chance some yappy little Alpha shithead came creeping, she could have them running with their tail between their legs with a simple one-liner and a look. She could detect them when they were near, Alphas had a particular stench about them that made her skin crawl. There had been exceptions, some of them carried a particular delectable flavor that had peaked her interests on more than one occasion, but not enough to accept a claim. Her toying with such Alpha’s had certainly had its consequences. She’d been beaten before, stalked, she’d had to resort to moving town more than once too. But not once had she ever been bitten, claimed or knotted, when it didn’t feel right, her determination to ensure it didn’t happen was beyond scary. Hence her hardened exterior to the apparent dominate gender. So, it wasn’t that she feared Alpha’s picking up on her Omega scent, more that she couldn’t be bothered with the hassle. She’d had to deal with this shit her entire life, it really was a chore and a bore now.

Clutching her bag of groceries to her chest, she continued to walk, well, more like a march at this point. As she reached the outskirts of town, her defenses lowered a little as the streets became more sparse of people. It was only another block or so until she reached her apartment, she wondered what show on Netflix she was going to binge that night, clutching to her bag with a grin as she thought of the tub of Ben and Jerry’s amongst the goods. It couldn’t be a late night though, she had work the next day and she groaned audibly at the thought. Office jobs were the definition of tedious and brain rotting, but it paid the bills. Maybe just half the tub of ice cream tonight then, she thought with a sigh.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, just outside a little burger joint she often frequented when she couldn’t be bothered to cook. She stopped in her tracks, fumbling into her pocket to retrieve still buzzing phone, just as she heard the doors of the burger place open behind her.

She looked at the screen, seeing her alarm on screen that she set to remind herself to take her suppressants. “I know,” she scoffed irritably, swiping the screen and shoving the annoying device back in her pocket.

As she straightened her back something made her body freeze momentarily. A scent. Something completely new, and she’d never encountered anything remotely like it. It was a smell that seemed to have everything desirable to her, freshly baked bread, chocolate, whiskey, and the smell of new books.

She heard steps coming from the doorway behind her, and her body instinctively turned, the scent growing stronger as her eyes found it’s source. Alpha, her mind sung to her, seeing a tall man before her, clad in jeans, flannel shirt and an incredibly cozy and inviting brown jacket. His long dark hair caressed his face, where a rough stubble beard was starting to grow through and she already imagined how it would feel scratching and rubbing against her neck.

She stepped back slightly, mild panic tingling in her chest at her body’s reaction to the stranger. This was… different. He seemed somewhat taken aback too, stopping in his tracks as his eyes locked on to her. His mouth hung slightly open and his brow furrowed a little. She could hear him breathe in deeply, given the side glances she’d been getting from passing mated Alphas in town, her scent was evidently growing potent and he was taking it in.

In a weird sensation where it felt like time stood still, they just looked at each other, not saying a word as their eyes scanned and their bodies didn’t move.

“Hey, Sam!” A voice came from inside, and another man pushed through the door. He was Alpha too, his scent unusually sweet and comforting, but the scent of the first Alpha, Sam, drowning it out almost instantly. The shorter haired Alpha continued to speak, “What’s the hold-up?”

Sam gulped slightly, blinking fast and unable to take his gaze off Y/N. “Dean,” he said lowly, nodding in her direction.

Y/N froze, watching the new Alpha’s eyes fall on her. Two Alphas plus one Omega usually equals a whole new world of shit based on her past experience.

“Hey there,” Dean said with a smirk, side-eyeing Sam with a raised eyebrow before looking back at her, “Excuse my brother, he can be a bit...off sometimes.”

“Dean…” Sam exhaled in frustration and rolled his eyes, “Just shut up for a second and listen to me.”

She watched with a puzzled expression as the Alpha’s started to bicker. Normally Alphas would start fighting over an Omega, but with actual fists. Not with snarky, almost childish, comments that made the Omega smirk.

“I’m listening and I’m hearing you loud and clear,” Dean smirked devilishly, “But I thought you were the one who always says-” he adopted a mocking voice, “-We’re on a ‘case’, we don’t have time to go chasing some Omega.”

“Hey, standing right here,” she retorted, gulping as both sets of Alpha eyes locked on her. As confident as she was with handling herself, two Alphas at the same time was always a tricky situation.

“I do not sound like that!” Sam protested, looking back to Dean.

“Listen, Sweetheart,” Dean ignored his brother and instructed to Y/N, “You just carry on home and forget you ever saw us.”

She furrowed her brow, Well, that’s a new one.

“Dean,” Sam growled with a clenched jaw as he grabbed Dean’s jacket sleeve. Y/N did tense at that, she planned on waiting for the fists to start flying and hoped she could make a sneaky getaway.

“The hell has gotten into you, Sammy?” Dean shook his head in disbelief, shoving him away, “I mean, don’t get me wrong she’s quite something,” he shot Y/N a wink and she rolled her eyes in response, “But c’mon man, we really do have work to do. I feel so wrong saying that by the way.”

If she could commend the duo in front of her of anything, it was their confidence and self-control. She’d seen Alphas practically lose their shit at the mere whiff of an Omega scent, especially unclaimed. These two were practically having their own conversation and barely acknowledging her. To say that was the opposite of good manners, she was impressed and intrigued by it. Dean was cute, and certainly an Alpha she was confident she would consider pursuing if given the opportunity. Sam though, he stole the show despite her not having any direct interaction with him other than staring. Just allowing her eyes to meet his set her pulse racing and her mind became a flood of pornographic fantasies. She felt urges to touch him, taste him, totally drown in everything that was...Sam.

He’s so damn tall… she swooned internally, I wanna just, scrunch my hands up in that gorgeous hair…What is with the size of those hands!? Heh...well we all know what that means.

It was almost unsettling, her automatic logic telling her to get out of there, but her curiosity and need screaming for her to see where this was going. The result is her stood on the spot, clutching her bag of groceries and feeling a damp patch spread through the paper bag onto her jacket as the ice cream was slowly defrosting.

“I know, Dean, all right,” Sam said frantically, eager to make his point as he looked back at Y/N and clenched his jaw, “But...that’s my Omega.”

“Y-yours?” Dean’s tone quickly changed as his brow raised at Sam’s statement, “As in… yours, yours?”

Y/N’s stomach rolled as she watched Sam nod and her mind raced.

My Alpha? She questioned to herself, eyes locked on to the taller Alpha. She’d assumed all the ‘true mate’ theories were just urban myths. Stories created to romanticize the true nature of their biology. It felt like her entire belief system was rapidly changing just by glancing into a set of hazel eyes.

And it freaked her the fuck out.

“Sam…?” Dean mumbled, scratching his head, “I...I think your Omega just bolted.”

“What?” Sam turned back to where she once stood, now just a bust bag of groceries on the ground amid a puddle of melted ice cream, and the blur of her coat dashing down the alley by the side of the burger joint.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Fuck, I really wanted that ice cream, she whined in her head as her quick heels carried her to the end of the alley. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing a hidden away pile of crates and boxes that she’d assembled months ago. She’d planted numerous escape routes across the city, she knew many of the twists, turns and hidden snickets. Par for the course when you’re an unclaimed Omega and a self-proclaimed pro at ditching sniffing Alphas. She hopped on the stack, being sure to kick it down once she was half over the wall at the end of the alley, before dropping down on the other side, she dared to glance behind her at the sound of heavy thudding footsteps.

There he was, pursuing. His brow furrowed in confusion as he stopped and watched her sat up on the high wall.

“What are you doing?” he huffed breathily, his chest heaving slightly from the sudden fast movement of running after her.

“Nope,” she squeaked, finally dropping down on the other side. She leaned back against the cold brick wall, panting for breath and trying to slow her thumping heart. She could still smell him, if anything his scent was growing stronger, he must’ve been right up against the wall on the opposite side. His scent was so dreamy, making her close her eyes and lose herself in it momentarily. She felt her stomach roll and her thighs clench together automatically.

What the fuck is happening? She panicked in thought, This has never fucking happened. EVER.

There was movement behind the wall and it snapped her back to reality. She looked up, seeing a pair of hands grasp the bricks at the top.

“Shit!” she hissed, panic grasping at her heart once more as she instantly dashed. She’d underestimated just how tall this Alpha was, he’s actually climbing the fricking wall!?

On her side of the wall was a small labyrinth of interconnected alleys that snaked behind numerous shops and eventually leading down to a small housing estate. She knew the twists and turns like the back of her hand, darting down different paths and even circling herself, she knew he’d follow her scent, so doing this might confuse and throw him off.

After a short while of drawing a convoluted trail with her scent, she hopped a small fence which she knew lead to a small woodland area. A small pocket of nature in the middle of a mass of houses and apartments. During the day it provided a small picturesque escape from city life, at night it was an oddly intimidating space, definitely not somewhere a lonely Omega should wander, but that’s what she counted on. He’d never expect her to go running in here, the spot was renowned for shady activities under the cover of night, safely hidden away by the trees.

When her feet crunched on the fallen leaves and soil on the other side of the fence she ducked and looked behind her again, eyes peeping over and keeping a watchful eye for her pursuer.

It was eerily quiet. She could still smell him somewhere, but it was faint and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. After a minute or so she sighed, concluding she must have lost him and the scent was just lingering. She turned and slid down the fence until her butt hit the ground, she breathed deeply and ran a hand through her hair.

He could still be around, waiting for me to come out or something, she thought, her eyes flitting side to side, Just lay low here a little longer, then head home.

Bunching her knees to her chest, she checked her watch, deciding fifteen minutes is a decent enough wait time. Her mind wandered as it tried to kill time, and it could only think about one thing. Sam.

My Alpha....is he really my Alpha? She bunched herself tighter, biting her bottom lip, Nah, I mean, all that stuff is bullshit right? True mates? That’s just fucking ludicrous, every single Omega has one singular Alpha out there that’s meant for them? I mean, that’s just unfathomable! Nevermind the odds of actually meeting them being next to impossible…

Her ears pricked up at the sound of rustling leaves nearby and the snap of a twig. She narrowed her eyes and scanned around, mentally preparing herself for another dash. She couldn’t see anything...but she could still smell that lingering scent. She looked at her watch again, ten minutes to go.

But what if he really is? And I just literally bolted. She huffed a small laugh and shook her head. Nah, maybe just some new Alpha tactic to make us ‘sweet little Omegas’ submit quicker and easier. I ain't buying that, although...damn he is...heh...certainly not harsh on the eyes. If I was in heat, I’d consider letting him ‘ride’ me through it. She smirked knowingly, All that ‘My Omega’ stuff though...he’d be so fast to claim, I’m not sure I could drop everything like that. I’ve made it this far on my own after all…

She looked at her watch again, five more minutes. Everything was still quiet and the sky had grown completely dark now, the air growing bitterly cold. She pushed herself to her feet, deciding to just start the journey home now.  

That scent. As she stood at her full height she felt a fresh wave of it pass her nose and she shuddered as her stomach rolled again hungrily.

“Omega…” his voice carried through the trees, his firm tone and use of the word nearly made her damn legs buckle, “Don’t try running again.”

She froze on the spot as her eyes frantically scanned around, he was nowhere to be seen, but his scent was strong, mind-foggingly strong. Is he hiding amongst the trees somewhere? How the hell did he find me?

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” she called out into the trees, the cold air and her building anxiety making the hairs rise on her skin, “I don’t need an Alpha.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” he answered, “I can tell by your scent, you’re strong, independent, but...frustrated.”

“Frustrated,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes, “So I submit to you and all my problems are over? That’s some cliche Alpha bullshit right there.”

There was a growl that carried across the breeze, it stirred something deep down and she clenched her jaw to bite it back.

“You’re mine, Omega,” he countered, “That also means I’m yours. Just wanna take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself,” she bit back, but a small tremble in her voice. Even though she couldn’t see him, just...that scent. It was damn intoxicating like she was being indoctrinated by it. Her body screamed for more of it, to find its source and drown in it, and that fucking terrified her even more. “You don’t even know me, or my name.”

“So tell me, ‘cause trust me I wanna know everything.”

She couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips, she bit her tongue and sighed, relenting to give him one small slice of information, “It’s...Y/N…” she said quietly, still searching wildly for where he could be hiding.

“Y/N…” he breathed like her name was something mystical and magical, “I’m Sam.”

“Kinda figured back there,” she retorted, positive she just saw some movement amongst the leaves to her right. She took a deep breath, adjusting her footing as she got ready to move, “It’s been a pleasure Sam, but I really need to be getting home.”

She moved quickly before he could respond, her eyes set on the path she’d set in her mind. She hopped over a small pile of fallen branches, ducked under some long hanging foliage and leaped into a run. She couldn’t hear any movement behind her, her heart sinking. He’s not following. That’s a good thing brain! Not bad!

She continued to move, despite not hearing any following movements, that scent was growing chokingly thick and potent to the point it nearly made her eyes roll in bliss. W-why am I running again?

A shadow moved. Before she could react a pair of arms had whipped around her waist and pulled her to the side. She squeaked in shock, everything moving in a blur as she was spun and forced back against a tree. Her eyes focused in the darkness and it was Sam. He gazed down at her with dark eyes and a heaving chest.

“Told you not to run again,” he growled, pushing his body flush against hers so she was pinned between him and the tree trunk.

“Oh fuck…” she moaned, his scent flooding her head now he was so close. She initially tried to push back against him and wriggle free, but her body was quick to grow limp as she got drunk off that sweet smell and his body was warm and welcoming as it pressed into her. She planted her hands on his torso, trying one more time to push which ultimately lead to her almost collapsing into his chest, “Sam…”

“Y/N…” he hummed, leaning further into her and ghosting his lips across her neck. He breathed her in, a low rumble echoing from his throat, “Mine…”

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at him. All she could muster was a small whimper, something completely out of character for her. In the short space of time she’d known this Alpha, he seemed to draw out numerous ‘out of character’ things from her.

He forcefully collided with her lips, moaning over them hungrily as his hand snaked up her sides and laid flat across her lower back. His hips jerked forward, pushing into her almost painfully. Her fists clenched at her sides, her eyes tightly shut as she tapped into her last ounce of resistance. His tongue stroked eagerly across her bottom lip and fingers pressed deeper into her back, her body sang and her brain struggled to hold the Omega back much longer.

Her lips parted, and his tongue dove in, finding hers and quickly capturing and twirling with it. Her fists fell loose, and she leaned into him, tilting her head so he could deepen the kiss even further. He eventually released her mouth, dropping his forehead on hers and breathing shakily as he gazed down into her eyes.

“Alpha…” she whispered, tugging harshly on his shirt to pull his lips back to hers.

Okay, this is certainly better than Ben and Jerry’s...

Think this needs more? Hit me up and lemme know!

Tags!

Forever Posse:

@sofreddie

@chelsea074298

@ria132love

@untitled39887

@chicagolove88

@akshi8278

@sis-tafics

@younoeatcheeseyounobefat

@mandilion76

@teamfreewill92

@supernaturalmagicfolk

@emoryhemsworth

@musicistobeheard-blog

@pheonyxstorm

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@turnttoverr

@itspronouncedsatanbitch

@the--real-wombat

@xagateophobiax

@samisimportant

@jensen-gal

@castiel11235

@waiting-to-find-myshadows

@19agbrown

@mogaruke

@nyxveracity

@cole-winchester

@esoltis280

@maui137

@internationalmusicteacher

@meganywinchester

@sweetness47

@roonyxx

@imperiusimpala

@lazinessisalliknow

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@choosemyname

@dean-winchesters-bacon

@stoneyggirl

@hunterswearingplaid

@bella-ca

@curly-haired-disaster-deactivat

@rainflowermoon

Sam Sweeties:

@andkatiethings

[howlyoudoin]

Species: Werewolf (Beta) | Name: Rebekah “Bekah” Romero | Age: 30 | Pronouns: She/her | Sexual Orientation: Lesbian | Faceclaim: Lindsey Morgan | Mentor: Wanted Connection 

+ Protective + Altruistic - Guarded + Anxious

S o m n o p h i l i a  •  E x h i b i t i o n i s m  •   F i s t i n g

Bio below - tw: physical & sexual abuse and violence.

Unfortunately, Rebekah did not have an ideal childhood. She was close with her mother, especially when she was younger, but things were never simple for them. They never had much money but even that was not so bad, not compared to the rest of it. Her father was physically abusive toward her, hitting her, shoving her, slamming her head into the wall, and anything else he could do to hurt her. Whether it was with words or physical pain, her father was determined to make her hurt. 

The reason? Bekah was not his biological daughter. Her mother had cheated on him, and instead of blaming her, he took it out on her daughter. He never put his hands on her mother, and she never stood up for her daughter. She went through this for years, making excuses for bruises and broken bones, protecting the man she despised. She would say now that the abuse she went through served to make her stronger, at least in some ways, but it also made her mistrust others, especially men. 

One night when things were particularly bad, Rebekah took her things and intended to walk to her friend’s house. But on the way there, she was bitten by what she thought was a stray dog. Not long after, she was surprised to find herself changing...and not in the typical ways that a girl changed during puberty. The stray dog was a werewolf, and now, so was she.  When Rebekah came out to her parents, the dynamic in the home shifted, somehow becoming even worse. Her mother’s husband had it in his head he was going to show her that she wasn’t gay. He didn’t get the chance because she was finally powerful and able to stand up for herself. 

She didn’t mean to kill him, but she didn’t know her own strength yet, and when her mother walked in on her, Bekah’s mouth was covered in his blood. It didn’t matter what he’d tried to do, that she was only defending herself. Her mother didn’t see it that way. She told her daughter that she was a monster, pleading with her to leave and defending the man who’d been hurting her for years. Rebekah told her that she had become what she needed to be. 

She left her home and never looked back. She lived in the woods for a long time, spending so long in her wolf form that she almost became trapped in it until another werewolf found her and taught her about her abilities and limits. She learned about packs, but she didn’t wish to join one, maintaining a friendship with the wolf who had mentored her, but moving on with her life.

She knew now that she had another father out there, one that might not be anything like the man who had raised her. Rebekah decided to seek him out, relieved to find that he was a better man than she could have ever expected. Her father was gay, a gentle man, one who seemed like he could never hurt anyone. He was married and she came to adore his husband, too. 

For the first time in her life, Bekah started to finally feel safe enough to be herself. Telling them that she was a werewolf was hard because they were confused and didn’t quite believe her. When she proved it, they were shocked but supportive, albeit hesitantly. Eventually, she was adopted by her father’s husband and finally had the family she’d always hoped for. Rebekah continued to hide what she was from others for her own safety, knowing not everyone could handle the truth that things that go bump in the night were not just stories, but real.

 She decided to attend college, majoring in criminal justice as she’d gotten a taste of justice when she’d taken matters into her own hands. The idea that she could put away men like her mother’s husband was certainly appealing. She also decided to strike out on her own and getting an apartment. She was starting to accept herself as a werewolf and in general when she began to work for the police department. Bekah specialized in domestic & sexual violence cases, which was hard, but rewarding. Being protective of others came naturally to her and she was good at her job. She eventually made detective, becoming close with her partner, an older man she admired as a father figure. 

One day, Rebekah told him the truth of her condition and began using her heightened senses to help solve crimes, whilst also on the lookout for other supernatural creatures. Recently, she was sought out by a younger woman, Rhiannon, who turned out to be her biological half sister. Wary of a connection to her mother to whom she no longer spoke, she was uncertain about getting to know her little sister. But as she reluctantly began to do so, she found Rhi was nothing like her mother, and far more like her adoptive parents, who were genuine, kind people. As a result Bekah became very close to and protective of her younger sister.

Despite all of the love she now has in her life, Rebekah felt like there was something missing. She hadn’t maintained a connection with her former mentor and she had no other supernaturals in her life. She was yearning for that kind of connection when she stumbled upon an organization, Salus Cove. They offered exactly the kind of thing she was looking for, the chance for companionship, and to be a mentor for a young wolf seeking guidance. Her protective nature would lend itself to this kind of relationship, and the organization promised to pair its members with dependents who they had chemistry with. It meant the possibility at love, not just connection, something she had all but given up on. 

Bekah has been hiding herself for so long that she thought romantic love was off of the table for her. As a mentor, she’s seeking out a woman, obviously, but she’s looking for more than that. She wants someone she can protect, explore herself with and who ultimately will become a partner. She can be stern if needed, but more than anything, she’s soft and kind, and wants to be with someone who can reciprocate her love.

Having been a wolf more than half her life, Rebekah has a handle on her shifting. She only turns when she wants to, which is still relatively often, and during the full moon, of course. Her form is a medium sized wolf with shaggy gray fur and green eyes. When in wolf form with someone she trusts, she behaves like an oversize puppy, nuzzling them affectionately. She loves consuming raw steak, but of course, she hunts in the woods from time to time. Having a great appreciation for the human food she grew up on, she also eats in her human form. Given that she’s smaller, she can run quite quickly if she gets into trouble. She has been referred to as a vigilante because she hunts predatory men for sport, not to eat, but to maim & kill. She believes she’s doing the world a service. As a detective she helped these women, but when she couldn’t put the men behind bars, she started taking things into her own things.

[bleedingliquidlight]

diary entry #5: sunday june fifth, 2022

i had a dream i was in a gas chamber. i woke up and realised that i meant to pee last night, but never did, so it was a good thing i actually woke up at sunrise to pray for the first time in weeks. the light from the sky looked weird through the bathroom window, it was orangey purple but once i looked out, it looked relatively normal, a cloudless sky. i woke up in the morning at half nine, and had cereal and two jaffa cakes whilst watching 'the vampire diaries' (s3 ep14). zahra went to the gym at eleven, and i planned to go then too, but i didn't want to go with her so i went at 12 instead with sami, who took forever getting ready. halfway through the gym session, i went to the toilets, and sang 'waiting room' to myself to test out the acoustics. on the drive back home, sami was driving to our cousin's house up the hill, and she was playing 'she's all i wanna be' by tate mcrae and she turned it down once we saw someone we knew walking past, but then she turned it up just as the beat kicked back in after the bridge, and that felt so cool. once we got home, i sat and watched the ending of the movie about 9/11 with zahra, but then i heard creaks from above us, meaning someone was in my room, and i always become annoyingly conscious when this happens, because i realise they could be looking at a number of suspicious things i have in my room so i went up and my mum was cleaning my chest of drawers (there aren't any suspicious things in there, so we were good) and she just casually interrogated me about whether the clothes i've kept even fit me or not. i showered relatively quickly and then sat down to revise, and checked my messages. sami had tagged me in her story saying she's 'dipping into my library' since she's borrowing 'pride and prejudice', sean messaged me, telling me about barack obama's impeccable taste in music and books, jennifer messaged me to schedule our traditional night-before-school call but in the morning (which i missed since i didn't see the text in time), and to tell me that she had to remove a dead fly from her toilet because she didn't want to disrespectfully shit on it, heidi's friend rhi replied to my message after about three weeks, and katy messaged me, to apologise. i haven't opened her message. i think i'm gonna wait till she goes offline. i watched tiktok for the majority of today, and decided not to do revision. me and sean talked about stranger things; he didn't know that robin was todd anderson's daughter, and he also didn't know that i hadn't watched any of it (i told him i would after exams), we just obsessed over steve having such a nice face, and robin having such a nice face, and eddie hitting differently (i love that we're both bisexual). amina and wasir were using the printer so they were sat in the same room as me for a while, so i had to pretend to revise. that girl i messaged on discord finally replied, saying she is getting the same train as me from manchester. i opened katy's message, she was apologising for leaving things the way she did, and that she didn't want to drag this on, but then i said that she was dragging it on by coming back and apologising for fucking up once again (i hate myself); she called me petty. my parents went out to see their friend, so i grabbed a packet of crisps and watched 'the vampire diaries' with zahra. i sorted out my school bag for tomorrow, and then put all my revision away by nine o'clock. i was ravenous for some chocolate so i opened a bag of munchies, whilst sami and hannah argued about whether there's beauty in nature (sami put a picture of the sunset on her story and quoted her friend who said that it was like the sun was in prostration, but hannah didn't get it). i went to bed and dermaplained my face, but then i thought i was getting a spot on my lip (just after i thought my lips looked good). i charged my flip phone just in case jennifer decided to have our traditional call, so i texted her and she told me that she's not coming into school for the next week. what is the point in living?

[wulfies-corner]

Idiot

Fandom: Star Wars

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Summary:  One pilot can't live without the other. One pilot keeps attempting to sacrifice themselves for the other. Crashes, arguments, and Winter Solstice ensue. 

Prompt: A scarf, a present wrapped very poorly, a kiss.  

Waking from a dream was always difficult for you. Your dreams always depicted a life that was better than what you had now. Not that your current life was terrible, but fighting an endless war on the losing side wasn’t what you called ideal. Your dream, cheesy and what you might say was ‘under budget’ for a dream was what you would call ‘grasping at straws.’ A beautiful but simple meadow, music playing softly from somewhere else in the distance, you in a dress you’d never thought you’d ever see yourself in and… him.

You danced through the grass and the flowers, his hand on your hip, firm but loving. The smile on his face, nervous but kind. His presence unreal but welcomed. The love that surged through his gaze calming. You would never believe this was actually happening, you would need to pinch yourself to make sure-

“(Y/N)!”

You awoke with a start, a rapidly beating heart, flushed cheeks and sharp pain surging through your body. There is nothing sweeter in this sad, miserable, war-torn world than someone you love calling your name, but… the tone in which your name was spoken felt bitter and worried. The room around you was white and well lit; the atmosphere alone indicated that you were in the medibay again and in very big trouble. You looked up at the culprit of your awakening, spotting him.

“Poe…”

“Cut the crap, (Y/N),” Poe was angry. That was the first thought that surged through your brain once his expression and tone of voice wriggled its way into your vision and your ears. “Why would you risk yourself like that?! Again?!”

“I…”

His hands planted themselves on his hips. His brow was furrowed and his eyes channelled the fury of a thousand suns. “You had better not try and work up some excuse! What you did out there was stupid, irrational, and not to mention dangerous!”

“Poe,” you squint in pain as a stabbing pain shoots through your leg. You knew what you did and you weren’t about to regret it. “I did it to save you!”

“At the cost of your own life?!” He yelled. “(Y/N), we’ve talked about this! I can’t have you dying in the field and especially not for me!”

“Why not for you?!” You argued back. “Why not die for the person I’ve looked up to since I was a little kid? Why not die for the person I grew up with, admired, learned from and fought for?!” You took in a deep breath, much more defiant than you’d ever thought you’d be towards him.

“Maker, you’re such an idiot!”

The word echoed in your head and you couldn’t think of anything else to say. ‘Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.’ Your mouth hung open and tears pricked your eyes. You watched Poe’s expression fall. He knew what he said, but he stood his ground. “You need to rest.”

With that simple sentence, he turned to leave. He stopped at the door as a nurse approached, most likely to see what the commotion was. He quietly explained away the shouting and continued on his way. As Poe’s distinct footsteps retreated from your earshot, the nurse peeked inside and raised an eyebrow in a silent request to enter the room, her pink hair swishing as she tilted her head to the side. You smiled sadly at her and nodded, laying your head back down on the pillow beneath you.

“Hey, (Y/N),” she sighed. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too great, but thanks for asking, Rhi.” She sat down at the edge of your bed, revealing a cup of liquid medication in her hand. She laughed at your immediate reaction of disgust.

“This will help until your next session in the Bacta tank,” she explained, barely containing her laughter, tipping the cup against your lips and giggling at your reaction to the horrible taste.

“That tasted like ass,” you complain, sticking your tongue out and shuddering.

“How would you know what ass tastes like?” She teased, standing up and running a hand gently through your hair.

You pouted at her but felt more relaxed as she played with your hair. “What happened after I-”

“You crashed,” she interrupted. “Pretty severe, you’re lucky to be alive. You were in the Bacta tank for a week. We had to take you out for a little bit lest you turn into a raisin,” Rhiannon half-joked with a chuckle. “Two more days inside of it starting tomorrow and you should be able to move on your own. I’d say that you’ll be eligible to fly again in about three weeks.”

“I’m not sure Commander Dameron would be too pleased with me flying again.” You comment, distaste in the remembrance of your argument with your other best friend.

“Well, he’s not happy, to say the least,” Rhiannon agreed. “This is the third time you’ve done something like this, but never so much as to nearly die. (Y/N), I say as both your nurse and your best friend, you need to be more careful!”

You rolled your eyes. “As careful as I can be running assaults on enemy ships.”

“Exactly. You’ve got a broken leg, three broken ribs, eighteen stitches in each of your arms, a black eye and one bad, bad case of road rash almost everywhere else. You really could have died. Despite the fact that I think it was bad for your health for Poe to yell at you like that, he was right.”

“I hate it when you take his side,” you moan.

“I know.” Rhiannon stood, smiling mischievously. You groan as her hand leaves your scalp. “Now get some rest. I want you to be up and not grouchy for more Bacta tank tomorrow.”

“But I-”

“Rest.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll rest.”

~

The next morning, you were woken up in the midst of another dream, being brought into the tank room, still under the influence of groggy exhaustion. Despite this, you were also given a heavy sedative to help you handle the Bacta, a liquid with viscosity somewhere between watery jello and thick slime, not an ideal thing to be submerged in at first.

The liquid of the Bacta tank hit your eyes when you woke up again two days later, not so much to be painful but instead slightly awkward. The outside was blurry to you and the breathing apparatus was blocking at least half your vision. You felt much warmer than you had than the entirety of your stay on this frostbitten planet, ever so slightly thankful that Rhiannon was a stickler for old tech and refused to have you lay completely naked in one of those suits filled with artificial Bacta.

As soon as your vision cleared the best you could, your eyes widened at the silhouette of Poe. He was staring straight at you and his expression immediately softened from being consumed by worry as soon as he noticed that your eyes were open. He looked to be holding something, but the apparatus was keeping you from seeing the entirety of his body. He pressed his right hand against the glass, his forehead soon following. You couldn’t hear him, but somehow you knew he was saying something. You, in turn, placed your hand over his before your sedation took over once more.

~

Being ‘freed’ from the Bacta tank was one of the worst experiences you’ve ever had besides being in an X-Wing crash. Bacta was warm and comforting, like taking a bubble bath in the perfect temperature of warm water or being swaddled in a blanket that had just come out of the dryer. You could feel relaxed and at peace. It was a place where you could sleep, breathe clearly (you had to give credit to the apparatus for that one), and feel like you were getting stronger.

Now that you were laying back down in your bed, you felt cold, stiff, and so strangely light that it felt like you would need to be tied down in order to not just float away. Slightly thankful that you could sit up now, you hunched over and attempted to hug yourself into the thin standard issue blanket to squeeze what little warmth you had left from the Bacta tank.

The hiss of a door opening caused you to lift your head, teeth beginning to clatter as a cool breeze followed Poe into the room. You hoped to the Maker that he wasn’t as cross as last time. You’d never been able to properly handle an angry Poe, even though you’d spent the majority of your life around him.

“Ever heard of knocking?” You ask sarcastically, watching Poe as he moved toward you and knelt before you on the floor. Your bed was quite low to the ground, so Poe was about at eye-level to you, but neither of you could look each other in the eye.

“Sorry, didn’t think it through,” he apologized, his face much more relaxed than before. You were thankful that he’s calmed down, but you knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to argue with you if you tried to defend your stance on the whole ‘sacrifice myself for Poe’ situation.

“Knocking or yelling at me?” You ask, hesitant of the answer.

“Both.” He paused. “You must be freezing.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” you shrug. “I guess it will be worth it, I can move on my own now.”

“(Y/N), you-”

“I know I was being stupid,” you sigh in dejection, cutting him off. “But I still stand by my decision to do it. I couldn’t bear to see you die.”

“How do you think I felt after I watched you crash?” He asked, voice firm but softer than the yelling match you two had been in two days before. “I was worried, terrified that the split second of you looking at me from your ship would be the last time I saw you. I don’t think you realize how important you are.”

You scoff. “I’m not an ace pilot like you, Poe. If I died, the Resistance could find someone to repl-”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he huffed and finally moved his gaze to meet yours. He lifted his arms and you noticed he was holding a scarf, the one that he always wore out on grounded scout missions. He beckoned you to lean forward and you did cautiously, “I’m not gonna choke you with it, silly.”

“Sorry.” You let him wind the scarf gently around your neck, the warmth of his hands helping your shivering, even if it was just a little bit. You leaned into the touch of the cloth, subtly taking in Poe’s scent.

“(Y/N), you’re my best friend,” he started, gripping your hands. “You’re important to me. To think that you would have died and it was my fault that I couldn’t protect you, I-”

“It wouldn’t be your fault. I’d trade my life for yours any day and I would take full credit for that,” you countered.

“And what would I do then, huh?” He was raising his voice again, and you looked off to the side at the wall in guilt. “What I’ve been trying to say is… I… I can’t live without you.” He gently pressed a finger to your jaw, gently guiding you back to look at him again. “Don’t you understand that things like that go both ways?”

“I never thought that…” you sigh, unable to form your words. “Poe, you remember when we were kids… and I was always so afraid that you and BB-8 were going to run off and go on adventures with someone else?”

Poe’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, I remember.”

“I always thought that one day you would do it. That one day I wouldn’t mean anything to you anymore... and... I just thought that if one of us had to die for this,” you gesture around you, “to die for the galaxy, it would be me because you could run off and go on adventures with someone else and I couldn’t.”

To your surprise, Poe pressed his forehead to yours. “You’re such an idiot,” his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. “Such an idiot,” without much time to process what he meant, he brought his lips to meet yours. His grip on your hands tightened, and the feeling of your first kiss with Poe - your first kiss ever - was better than you could ever have imagined. Soft, nervous, kind, loving.

When you separated, Poe smiled at you. “No more of this dying business, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod slightly.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Poe stood, and you were a little nervous that he was going to leave again. To your relief, he sat next to you, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. “To that end, (Y/N), I know it’s still a few days from Solstice, but… I thought that I could give this to you early.”

“A present?” You ask. “Poe, I don’t deserve it.”

Poe chuckled. “I may still be mad at you, but you did save my life out there. I’d say you’re plenty worthy. Now come on, open it.”

Poe handed you a (very) crudely wrapped gift. It looked like he had taped on at least six layers of wrapping paper, ripped at the corners from the stress of his pulling. You grinned at the little gift, unsure that you were capable of ripping apart Poe’s effort. Still, you pressed on, carefully undoing the tape and making your way through the layers of red and green paper.

When you came to the end of the layers, you gripped the velvet box in your hands. You raised your eyebrows and looked at Poe, who was grinning in anticipation of your reaction. Lifting open the box, your eyes widened at what was inside.

“It’s Kyber,” Poe explained. You picked up the leather string the gem was bound to, the smooth feeling of the translucent rock sliding over your palm somehow made you feel at peace; like you were back in the Bacta tank where you didn’t have to worry about anything. “I thought that it would only attune to Jedi, but Leia told me that since the Force lives inside everything, it will help keep you calm and eventually it will change colour to represent your personality.”

“Poe…” you listened to the hum emitting from the Kyber, closing your eyes and leaning against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

You winced when Poe placed an arm around your shoulders, but you wouldn’t let him back off. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you, too.”