#fellas is it gay to someone of the same gender so much you decide to literally become them and adapt your entire physical appearance to be-

[daitaifuteki]

silly lonely notes sketch

[dearoldtuxedo]

The Love Interest

In 2017, Taft Studios hired a new screenwriter for their popular, and long-running show, The Banana Splits. Her name was Sammie Satterlee, and ever since they recruited her on the staff, she impressed the audience with her diversed setting scenarios. 

Some new episodes took up morals that are rarely explored among children, and needed to be talked about more. The Sour Grape girls were given more personalities, rather than being reduced to cute, sassy dolls. She made Bingo and Drooper explicitly POC coded, so that minority children can see themselves in their favorite characters, even allowing some POC to guest star on the show. Bingo spoke Spanish occasionally, and Drooper celebrated Kwanzaa for a holiday themed episode. Stevie was also given a decent dose of character development.

Then, at that year, 2018, Sammie was ready to take on a new challenge: Introduce an LGBTQ+ character. Around this generation, a lot of children's media has been accepting of queer themes. The whole purpose was to help kids acknowledge that queer romance is just the same as the typical heterosexual romance. There is nothing inherently sexual about it.

Plus, Sammie happened to be queer herself. She grew up loving The Banana Splits throughout her childhood, and is still a fan to this day. She also grew up around a lot of homophobia at that time. Projecting sexualities/trans identities onto characters is a method of feeling more accepting, more valid. The same method queer kids on the internet use "headcanons" for. Queer children deserve representation. Sesame Street won't do it, so The Banana Splits might as well.

What better way to have one of the Bananas come out than giving them a male love interest? But, which Banana shall have a love interest? Fleegle seems too independent for a lover, regardless of what gender. Bingo prefers pranks and adventure over romance. And Snorky, even though as old as his fellow band mates, bears childlike innocence, so he's not ready for an adult love interest. The only option left was Drooper.

Yes, Drooper will work, she thought. The poor lion is considered the loser of the bunch. What if he had a sweet darling that would tell him how valid he is? Drooper's so clumsy, he's always falling down. Now, he needs someone to catch him and pick him back up on his feet. Sammie then started to sketch out her ideas.

That's when she conjured up Tux the snow leopard! Tux was short for Tucker, also defining his wardrobe, which was a tuxedo. The reason she chose a snow leopard was due to their majestic appearance, and she wanted Tux to come out as sort of a romantic gentleman. Also, because he should be a feline like Drooper. She drew out a reference concept of Tux, along with additional sketches of him and Drooper acting lovey-dovey with each other, and written a bio.

Tux was presented as a muscled man, a contrast opposite to Drooper's skinny frame. This snow leopard was purposely intended to be the hero to Drooper's damsel in distress. He sure is a handsome fella, but he's pretty dumb as well. That didn't matter. He's perfect for Drooper. Tux would be somewhat special to Drooper, like he understands him, he cherishes him, and he's willing to take a punch in the face for him.

After giving the references to Karl, and a bit of debate, the engineer decided to take a shot at it. Reading through Tux's biography, his personality and characteristics had quite interest Karl. This snow leopard certainly didn't possess the same energy as his other boys. Fleegle was the intellectual leader, Bingo was fun and energetic, Drooper was the butt of bad luck, and Snorky was the baby of the group. Tux was different. It would be quite complicated for a stoic machine to act out all these actions. Unless...

What if he gave this animatronic fully functional emotions? Karl always wanted to try something new. A robot with emotions would probably be his greatest achievement yet. No other engineer has dared to try it out. Not only will the idea be impressive, but his feelings would be very convincing.

After almost a month, Tux was completed. Although he matched his reference drawing perfectly, he appeared to be seven feet tall, instead of being two inches shorter than Drooper. Speaking of Drooper, not only were emotions installed into his databanks, but he was also programmed to fall in love with no one but said lion. 

Karl decided to showcase Tux to Sammie. He then activated the mechanical snow leopard. It took some time for Tux to get into motion, but as soon as he saw those humans in sight, he stepped back nervously. He touched around at himself for a moment, and scanned his surroundings. He was now alive, and he wasn't sure how he felt about this. The animatronic walked around the room, picking up items at random. He went back to Sammie and spoke for the first time.

"Hello. I'm... I'm..."

Karl answered for him.

"Tux." "I'm Tux. Pleasure to meet you. ...I think. Say, could you tell me where am I? What is going on? What is my objective?"

Just as Sammie could say anything, the Splits had entered the room. Tux turned his attention towards them by instinct. The very sight of Drooper had already triggered him into love mode. The feeling of seeing the lion was undescribable to him, but since it's in his programming, he knew how to act. He stared at the lion for awhile, then ran over to him. Tux took his paw into his.

"Hello. I am Tux. Pardon me if this sounds so sudden, but, I love you."

The animatronic kissed Drooper's hand, even though he just gapped his mouth open a bit and pressed it against the paw.

"Do you love me?"

Drooper was confused by this abrupt gesture, and had no opinion about it due to his lack of emotions. Still, he responded anyways.

"I love you too, Tux! I love all my friends!"

Tux was quite offended, having to be considered a "friend." Sammie decided to clear things up for the lion animatronic.

"Uh, Drooper, this is Tux. He is your new boyfriend. You know, like, a lover. As in you two are in love. Or at least, pretend to be, for the show."

A new boyfriend? Drooper doesn't remember agreeing to that. He just met the snow leopard, and all of a sudden, they're lovers? The lion isn't sure how he feels about that, especially since he doesn't return the snow leopard's attraction. Then again, Tux is a pretty nice guy. And it's not like they're forcing him to love him back. After all, she did say he could pretend for the show. Since the Splits aren't on the air right now, they might as well just be friends. Drooper shook his hand and greeted the new recruit.

"Very nice meetin' ya, Tux! I'm Drooper! This is Fleegle, Bingo, and Snorky! Welcome to The Banana Splits! Enjoy your stay, friend!"

He still deemed Tux as a "friend." That's not what Tux wanted. He didn't just come alive, fall in love instantly, only for it to turn out to be one-sided. Tux figured, he will get this lion to love him back, even if it kills him.

And so, for the last four days, Tux wasn't ready to be onscreen, so that gave him enough time to win Drooper's affection. The snow leopard had snuck into Rebecca's computer to find information on how to woo a person. Then he'd capture that info into his system.

Tux tried presenting Drooper with a flower (one of the props). He was flattered, took the flower, and patted Tux on the head. But walked away afterwards.

He tried serenading a romantic song, which was performed by the Splits in another era. 🎵I enjoy being a boy, in love with youuuuuuuuuu.🎶 Once again, Drooper was flattered, and applauded his performance, but still, walked away.  

Next, he tried the extreme. Tux grabbed Drooper, dipped him, and planted his mouth onto his, giving him a kiss. That only resulted in Drooper pushing him so hard, he knocks him down on his bum. 

No matter what technique he tried, his attempts all failed. And Drooper showed no signs of loving him back. Today was scheduled for Tux to make his physical appearance. But before he's ready to be on the show, he discussed his issue with Karl.

"My lover... ...doesn't love me. What have I done wrong?" 

Karl knew exactly what the problem was. It's not what Tux has done, but how Drooper feels. The lion animatronic was built to be emotionless, so it's impossible for him to accept a handsome man's gesture. Maybe Karl can fix that. 

"Settle down, my boy. You'll get what you want. I promise."

He then called Drooper over for a tune up. The only way for the two's feelings to be mutual is to install the lion with the same features programmed into Tux's databanks. The snow leopard held his hands together tightly. Soon, he and Drooper will be bond together at last. Together, forever. He'll have him close to him. They'll hold hands. The two will spend their entire lives as one until they rust. Karl then motioned that he had the notion of giving the other Splits emotions as well, so that they can embrace Tux like a family member. He wanted to make his greatest achievement feel at home.

“Yeah yeah sure. Now hurry up with the process!”

Suddenly, Rebecca entered the workshop, announcing that the whole "LGBTQ+ representation" project was officially canceled.

While the news of The Banana Splits having an LGBTQ+ character on their show received largely positive from the queer community, they've also gained negative, violent feedback from those who were against it. They were being accused of "attempting to encourage children into sexual acts," and called out for spreading "leftist SJW propaganda."

It gets much worse. Straight parents set up a campaign to boycott the show. Stevie threatened to quit because he refuses to work around a "cybernetic f@gg3t." And Andy, the network executive, blackmailed that he would pull the plug on their show if they let this "gay shit" slip onto TV. Sammie was fired, and the whole assignment was history.

Karl stopped what he was doing, leaving Tux confused.

"Aren't you gonna-" "I'm afraid there's no reason to anymore, my boy." "But, Karl- Drooper- You said I could have what I want! YOU PROMISED!" “I wish I could keep it, but I don't think I have a choice. I'm sorry." "I don't believe it. How could you be SO SELFISH?! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL?! PLUG HIM BACK IN, RIGHT NOW!" “I can't-" "ALL I WANT IS MY KITTEN TO LOVE ME! DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?!!"

The snow leopard threw a big tantrum. A single stomp on the ground made the floor shake. Then, he shoved items off of counters, and smashed stuff, while screaming at the top of his voice. He was absolutely terrifying at that moment. Tux turned to Rebecca, thinking it was all her fault. She tried to tell him to stand down, but he was too stubborn. He grabbed her by the neck, and pressed her against the wall. With Tux's back turned away, that gave Karl the opportunity to shut him down. Tux let go of Rebecca, and fell over unconscious.

Poor Tux. Maybe giving him emotions was a bad idea. As it turns out, he's not mature enough to know how to handle them, which makes him too unstabled. After that traumatized experience, Rebecca demanded that Karl should get rid of him this instant.

After she left, the three other aninatronics entered the workshop. Karl stared down at Tux for a minute. The snow leopard animatronic didn't mean to cause any harm. He's just a little faulty, with his ardent coding and all. Karl never worked out how he would have Tux cope with his emotions. The engineer couldn't bring himself to throwing out what he thought was gonna be his greatest achievement yet, so he asked his four to dispose of Tux for him. Karl then left the workshop to see if he could calm Rebecca down.

Four of the Splits gazed upon the now deactivated animatronic. They, including Drooper, felt a bit sorry for him. Why put him to waste? There's still some potential in him. The sad case just wanted, and needed, some love like they have had. A new Banana Splits member is still a member. Besides, he was much nicer to them than Stevie.

"What are we gonna do with him?"

So, rather than dragging his metal carcass to the dumpster, they all agreed to hide his body, behind a couple of boxes and bins in the corner. Perhaps he will make himself useful. Someday.

[hextrals]

rant post.

This episode was a mess for lots of reasons, and I absolutely need to rant about the reasons why, so here it is fellas.

1. This just fucking sucks.

Not only was this episode’s “reveal” painfully obvious from basically the very beginning, it’s also just disgusting. So we have this forth alien, this big bad, right? We don’t know who it is, we’re in anticipation. And who does it turn out to be? The brown muslim man of the group. Like, seriously? That creepy terrible person is a muslim person of color. Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only that, but the entire plot now is basically: the brown muslim man pretends to be someone he’s not, kills a bunch of people, acts incredibly creepy and makes the white people look bad for something he’s done. This is blatantly ignorant, outrageous and plays into absolutely terrible stereotypes. Unexcusable. Absolutely yikes.

P.S. For those who put Noah being muslim under question – please stop questioning tiny details, they just divert the conversation into a wrong direction. Because: a) even if Noah isn’t muslim, he is still a brown man, so that’s still plenty of racism for you, and b) even if Noah isn’t muslim, Karan is, so this still ends up playing into awful islamophobic stereotypes no matter how you look at it.

2. The only reasonable explanation is Maria has a clone.

So, what happened in this episode with Maria/Candy doesn’t make any goddamn sense. The whole “I don’t want you to leave” is just SO out of nowhere.

Let’s just recap what happened before. Maria and Michael have had a certain amount of banter. They obviously know each other, but they’re not close. Some people can argue that they’re friends – and honestly what you think about that simply depends on your definition of friendship, which is different for everyone – but surely we can all agree that they’re not close friends and don’t know much about each other. They had perhaps one moment of closeness, which was Michael comforting Maria that one time, but even then he’s done it mostly because he “gets it” and they clearly haven’t spoken about it. It was a “I understand feeling shitty and needing a shoulder to cry on, so here you go” rather than a “hey, tell me what happened, let me help, let’s get closer” type of thing.

Then, they hook up once, both clearly feeling nothing more than physical attraction towards each other. And let me remind you physical attraction and romantic attraction are two rather separate things, which not only often don’t align regarding a specific person (e.g. you’re physically attracted to a bunch of people – the ones you meat on the street, celebrities, etc., but you have romantic feelings only towards one person, in rarer cases a small amount of people), but also sometimes don’t align in general. What I mean by that is every person has a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation. For many people, they are the same (for example bisexual and biromantic), but for some people they aren’t (for example, pansexual and aromantic, or asexual and homoromantic). What I’m trying to get at here is: Michael and Maria obviously chose each other not because of some sort of connection they had (because – evidently – there was no time and/or reason for them to connect), but because they both know the other one is hot and attractive (some might even argue that Michael chose Maria because she’s Alex’s friend specifically, which is debatable, but possible, and disproves any sort of connection between the two even further). But just because they deemed each other attractive enough to fuck, doesn’t mean that they’re anywhere near developing romantic feelings towards each other. In fact it didn’t seem so at all – both vibe-wise and considering what Maria said multiple times both to Michael and Alex.

Speaking of what Maria said. First of all, the “it will never happen again” right after the hook up? There was zero amount of pressure on her to say something like that. She didn’t know about Malex, she obviously wanted it to happen the night before - it was all fine. And even though she didn’t have any feelings for Michael, they seemed to have a nice time together and casually repeating it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Still, Maria felt it necessary to make sure Michael knows something like that won’t happen again. And I don’t see any reason for Maria to lie about that – she clearly meant it.

Later on, when she’s talking with Alex and finds out that not only is Michael Alex’s current infatuation, he is also “the museum guy” and someone Alex feels hopeful about, which clearly means that Alex is in love with Michael (has been for a long time) and is still holding out hope for it to work out. Maria sees all that and assures Alex that it will never happen again, which is - of course - said by her to comfort Alex and assure him that she won’t hurt him like that again (which she realizes she did, even though unintentionally). But, also note how she’s repeating her previous words she said to Michael, and – as I’ve explained before – there was zero pressure for her to say them back then. So, this reads as not only her saying something to comfort Alex, but also simply stating what she’s already decided long ago.

While she’s trying to comfort Alex, there’s obviously a certain amount of pressure on her, since it’s an entirely new and a rather stressful situation. But, Alex isn’t asking any questions. And, Maria assuring him that it will never happen again would be quite enough. In fact, that’d leave some room for thought – some could then argue Maria has some sort of feelings for Michael, but is simply stepping away for Alex’s sake, which is why she didn’t mention anything about how she feels and simply said what she’d do. I don’t see it like that, but some might. However, with the first sentence, Maria also adds something incredibly important – she says it didn’t mean anything. Which to me seemed like clear cut truth at the time, especially because Maria had no reason to lie, since it wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do and she wasn’t really backed into a corner where she had to confess what she feels about Michael. She also doesn’t feel like the kind of person that would lie about something like that, because this is obviously important to Alex and the truth does hunt you down, so her lying about that really seemed out of question. Until this episode.

Not only did Maria say she doesn’t want Michael to leave completely out of nowhere, it was clearly so serious and dramatic that it’s much closer to “love” than “crush”. And, I don’t see Maria having a crush on Michael, but even if you think that all the scenes they had were full of romance and feelings, they’re most definitely not enough for her to develop anything more than a crush. So where the absolute hell did this whole thing come from? Hell, probably hell.

P.S. I would also like to point out that Maria repeatedly said no and never again to Michael/about the situation with Michael. The fact that they’re now showing that she wanted something with him and has had feelings for him this entire time plays into the terrible trope of women not really meaning “no” when they say “no” and encourages people to just push further (which is also kind of what Michael did) until the woman finally “breaks” and “finally tells the truth about how much she’s in love with you”, which… Fucking YIKES.

3. Michael, and whatever he is these days?

Honestly, Michael’s entire character was yeeted out of the window a couple of episodes ago, so I won’t talk much about this, but I just want to say that this episode was just him yeeting out further and further from what he originally was. All I’m gonna say is: Alex clearly left after he found out about Michael’s plans to leave, Michael clearly saw that, Michael also clearly still wants something with Alex, sooo…. Watcha doing, son? Make a fucking decision instead of tossing yourself around between two people like you’re a fucking ping pong ball. Also, what kind of decision is it again? Between this one person you’ve hooked up with once and whom you’re barely friends with, and this person you’ve been in love with for ten years, with whom you want to reconnect and who clearly wants to reconnect with you, even if it’s taking a while, which you understand entirely, because you know that it’s taking so long due to that person’s trauma that – and I can’t stress this enough – isn’t his fault? Yes, such a hard decision, no clear answers there, sir – absolutely not.

4. What is bisexuality, again?

So, I don’t know how many genders Michael is attracted to, but there are dozens of genders under the non-binary umbrella, so we gotta see him having a relationship with all those too, or otherwise he’s not a real bisexual!

Jokes aside, I mean come on! We were promised no tropes, and yet what are we going into? Slutty bisexual that can’t decide between two people of different genders. That’s what everyone knows to avoid, when writing bisexual characters, and you went right there. Moreover, instead of normalizing his relationship with men, because he clearly thinks he’s a part of “gay for you” story with the whole glitch thing and all, you put him in a millionth relationship with a woman. You’re just fucking up all ‘round, aren’t ya?

In conclusion, this episode was a MESS this was LONG and I’m ANGERY. Thanks for nothing and bye.

[hallucinosims]

Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm) 

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either 

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself  i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.

[representationintheatre]

The Inheritance

Title: The Inheritance  Writer: Matthew Lopez  Director: Stephen Daldry  Theatre Company: The Young Vic

I’m here to tell you that The Inheritance does not deserve your love.*

This contains spoilers for the play.

The Inheritance is an eye watering, almost seven hour, epic of a play in two parts. It is “loosely based” on EM Forster’s Howards End and charts the lives and relationships of two young men, Eric and Toby, in a post-AIDs world. Although this is not a review in the strictest sense, it’s worth saying that the plot of The Inheritance is relatively simple, yet overblown into multiple plot divergences that would have been much smarter focusing on its core argument about the legacy of AIDs with a new generation of young gay men.

Some thoughts and ideas are compelling, a couple of scenes are genuinely moving, but it’s all unfortunately lost in a sea of indulgence. 

Gender: 1/5 Does it pass the Bechdel Test: NO

There is but one woman in this seven hour epic that follows the lives of several white cis gay men over a period of several years, and she arrives in the final 20 minutes, trotted out as a stand-in for the character of Miss Avery from Howards End.

If you are familiar with Howards End, you will know that Miss Avery is more of a spiritual concept than an actual person. She’s otherworldly and her spectral presence is often directly referred to in the book. In The Inheritance, this otherworldly aspect is retained, both in the way that she is performed by Vanessa Redgrave, as well as in the way that she validates Eric’s spiritual experiences when he visits the house.

So here we have a play of seven hours, a cast of 12 men, set in modern day New York and no women aside from a stand-in for a spiritual character.

One might even speculate whether this character would have existed or been a woman at all if they weren’t able to secure the stunt casting of an actress from the original film adaptation. 🤔

And, to be honest, all this wouldn’t be as problematic if the play wasn’t based on Howards End.

It really is audacious to take what is essentially a feminist novel, albeit a conventional and somewhat limited one, and erase women entirely. The novel is lead by two female characters and the narrative is driven by their experiences at the turn of the 20th century. Margaret and Helen, the two leads, are proto-feminists and what happens to them throughout the novel rests entirely on their sex. None of it could happen to a man. This is an absolutely crucial point of the novel.

Furthermore, the central themes of Howards End – from suffrage, independence, sexual freedom, the nature of marriage, to social justice and the benevolence of women – all appear to have been erased in The Inheritance. While some attempt at political debate appears occasionally in The Inheritance (quite unsatisfactorily), it’s done as an afterthought as much as anything else. 

The fact that Henry Wilcox is a Trump supporting Republican is done with about as much subtlety as a sledgehammer, showcased in crude debates the characters have with him, turning into mouthpieces of the playwright for a short time, rather than being woven into the narrative like in Howards End, in which everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is affected by Henry Wilcox’s politics and how it impacts and conflicts with everyone else.

All this begs the question – what gives Matthew Lopez the right to lift entire chunks of Howards End and plant them in his modern-day epic if he’s going to erase the women and all the themes of novel?

The reality is that modern day New York is full of women. Gay men do not live in a vacuum. They have mothers, aunts, sisters, best friends…they have work colleagues.

Yet, in The Inheritance, it’s like they just disappeared. Matthew Lopez set out to erase women so entirely that he not only replaced the female main characters with men, he discarded the supporting female characters altogether lest there be any reference to a woman in even a minor way. For example, in Howards End, Henry Wilcox has two sons and a daughter, but in The Inheritance he has just two sons. Henry’s daughter, Evie Wilcox, does not exist in The Inheritance. 

It seems to me that Matthew Lopez has a big fuckin’ problem with women.

Recently Julia Pascal wrote an article for The Guardian about how women are being excluded from our stages. She is clearly right about this and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in the theatre community that would argue against that fact. And yet it seems that no one is willing to examine this issue in context of specific actions and decisions.  We see broad and sweeping articles about the general issue, but the critic community is rarely consistent in calling out the building blocks of this issue, which start at the plays being put on our stages and what they represent. 

How can we address the representation of women when plays like The Inheritance are given a pass with 5 stars and no concern for the choices displayed?

Race: 1/5

It’s not enough just to throw in a couple of very side ensemble characters as the men of colour in a PLAY SET IN MODERN DAY NEW YORK.

The play is overwhelmingly white in a way it didn’t need to be and that’s another mystery of the play. It fails deeply to represent a diverse gay community at all and in more ways than just race and gender. 

The casting was one-note, with zero diversity in body types or ethnicity or gender identity.

Plot 1/5

Look, The Inheritance has a lot going for it, but it is a mess and it’s unreal that this has been glossed over. This play got FIVE STARS....someone needs to point out the obvious....there are glaring plot holes and weird characterisations...

For starters: in The Inheritance, Eric, the lead character, marries Henry Wilcox. Their close friendship is shown as it’s building, but it is never shown as romantic, which is underlined when they decide to get married having never had a physical relationship.

In fact, Eric and Henry never manage to talk about having a physical, sexual relationship until after they’re married, prompted only when Eric discovers that Henry has been happily satisfied regularly by a young sex worker and has no interest in sex with his new husband. This stretched credulity to the point of being baffling. It’s not completely impossible to believe that something like that could happen between two men...in a play that explores it and examines the reasons, and addresses and acknowledges that it’s an unusual experience in a modern day progressive society. (Not quite the same demographic, but On Chesil Beach recently examined a similar issue brilliantly, with a mixed gender couple in the 1960s.) But The Inheritance just asks you to accept that this as how it is without examination or credible reasoning.

To recap: a character who has up till this point been shown to have had hot sexy times with his previous fiancé has not questioned or considered any issues with agreeing to, and marrying, his new fella, without ever having physical intimacy with him. In 2018. New York City.

There are plenty of these kinds of niggles in The Inheritance (don’t get me started on the house ownership that is so central to the plot that is completely illogical), which forces us to sit through for seven hours of unwieldy and lazy writing. It’s mind-numbingly annoying and shares more in common with teenage slash fanfiction than any other commercially produced content I have ever seen. You can forgive a 15 year old an exploratory story that can’t quite nail the reality of adult life, but you really can’t forgive a professional playwright (or the audience that seemed to lap it up regardless).

Our grade: 1/5 In summary: seven hours and no space for women in this modern-but-sometimes-not trash version of EM Forster’s Howards End. Read the book instead.

* A disclaimer - I have nothing against plays with all male casts when it makes sense and is relevant. I have issues with seeing too many performed when there are so few all-female plays to counter balance, but there is nothing inherently off-putting about all-male plays and I have a few that fall into my favourite all-time plays in fact.