#feldspar.txt

[a-gaggle]

one of the badder parts of what we went through is a lot of ramcoa/oea survivors were in cults. ramcoa is most often associated with cults.

we weren't... in a cult. we were tortured(? i guess? it feels too extreme but) by people who got access to us through our school. whether they were teachers or staff members or just happened to be there... they tried to force us to be their perfect toy.

we don't remember there being others, but i remember that we had a specific handler. so maybe there were others and we just never met them because they all had their own handlers. i don't know.

it feels weird. like we're the odd one out. i don't know if we were trafficked (at least to people outside of the ones who hurt us), i think we might've been but i don't know, i was just supposed to keep the tasks in line, i'm not a memory, just a crawler. but everyone else we see who went through oea went through it because of a cult, and it feels kind of bad that we're the only one we know of who wasn't in a cult. not that we wish we'd been in one so our abuse was more "typical" or that we wish others had gone through what we did--just that we feel. lonely. especially since some people equate oea/ramcoa to cults and kind of leave behind survivors who weren't from one...

[asheoki]

Feldspar.txt

[a-gaggle]

we weren't allowed to talk. we'd get hurt if we were too noisy. Oakley's really nice and lets us talk, but most of us are still too scared to talk to anyone other than hir

[a-gaggle]

Feldspar -> 13 years old, hy/hym Angel -> 6 years old, ze/hir, star/stars Knightsworth -> 7 years old, he/him Firefly -> 8 years old, he/him, fae/faer West -> 7 years old, vey/vem/veir Handsome -> 8 years old, hy/hym vae/vaem/vaer Journey -> 5 years old, hy/vey; note: weredog/dog hybrid due to programming Northerly -> 5 years old, hy/bark; note: weredog/dog hybrid due to programming Starfly -> 7 years old, hy/they

Bonus: Oakley, aka Mother Goose -> 17/18, it/its, meow/meows, ze/hir; not technically part of the Gaggle, but watches over them and keeps them safe. manager of the blog

> RAMCOA/OEA survivor and heavily programmed. we may briefly mention pieces of it sometimes, but we aren't open to being asked about it. we have DID, but the "main" collective is highly spiritual in functioning.

> there are over 200 headmates who formed as a result of our trauma and programming, but not all of them are part of the Gaggle; the Gaggle is specifically the Gaggle because they're a small group of kids who started following Oakley around like little goslings who imprinted on a new parent. the Gaggle is liable to grow as more kids front or influence front and meet Oakley; however, the kids who haven't met Oakley are still being taken care of and have their own layer/headspace to heal, with other headmates helping to take care of them.

> blog is so the Gaggle can get used to having autonomy, freedom, and control over themselves and their environment in a safe manner; respectful asks about things other than OEA, programming, etc. are welcome, although Oakley will monitor any asks received to make sure there's nothing triggering

> we will not tell you our specific programs or triggers; don't ask. on top of that, we only relatively recently learned about this layer and the trauma it was created by due to severe amnesia, so we're regularly discovering "new" things that we went through. please be patient as we figure ourselves out

> we may reblog agere, babyre, and petre/puppyre content for comfort, especially stimboards and moodboards; this blog won't have any sexual or gory content, but we struggle with the idea of being "kid safe" due to our trauma, and so will avoid blogs that specifically mandate being "child friendly" (note: specifically child friendly, not sfw). blogs that follow us that ask for non-child friendly blogs (including "if you wouldn't show your blog to a child, don't interact!") to DNI will also be blocked because of this

> this blog is a safe space for: endogenic, multi origins, and spiritual systems; good-faith identities; alterhumans and nonhumans of all kinds, including physical alt/nonhumans; those with personality disorders and schizo-spec disorders; and proship/profiction folk. please DNI if any of these are in your DNI or you otherwise cannot say the same (eg, regularly interact with anti-endo blogs even if you yourself are not anti-endo; think that plurality is always psychological, even if it's not always traumagenic; don't believe in gateway systems; regularly interact with anti-lesboys even if you yourself are not anti-lesboy; etc)

mainblog is @lesboylycan, plurality blog is @leptonyx-constellate.

[taglist below cut]

#gosling honks - original posts by the goslings #[name].txt - posts by a specific gosling; eg., #feldspar.txt or #knightsworth.txt #rehonks - reblogged posts

#stimboard - stimboards #moodboard - moodboards #aesthetic - aesthetic boards; eg., "[x] starter packs"

#media described - posts with media (images, gifs, videos, etc) that are accurately and adequately described #media undescribed - posts with media that aren't accurately or adequately described; may or may not have a description, but if there is, the description is too long/wordy, is unclear, doesn't focus on the important part of the image when taken in context with the rest of the post, etc #no media - posts without images, gifs, videos, or other forms of media

#asks #nice asks - kind asks #mean asks - hate anons; will be rare #unknown intent - we struggle with tone; for asks where we don't know if they're meant to be hate or not #anonymous - anonymous asks #[url] - non-anonymous asks

#intro post - this post #mother goose - Oakley's posts #tw [x] - trigger warning tag