#feels good to work with my hands
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
WHEW. Im done. I did the thing. I made my moms bag. Still feel a little bad, I promised her two, but she also thinks she needs a new bag whenever she goes on a trip, so I'd say the scales even out.
Here's the pics 😍
Theres still something *so* incredibly cool about staring at a pattern on a piece of paper and turning it into something 3D. I usually work with just cotton fabric so this vinyl was kicking my Black ass 😩😩😩
And boom 💁🏽♀️ all done. I have clips on it now so the shape isn't all lumpy. I'll update this in the morning when I give her the bag. But whewwww. I'm glad that's off my head.
Needed this break fr yall. But because idk how to sit my ass down, I also did some work on my website and a lil sumn sumn coming yall way 🥹
I also heard yall miss lil Ole me 😩😍 I feel the love. And I hope to update soon 🫣😌 I also got many, many stories to read. Yall been busy, breaking Terry's back! And I love it 😌🥹
Also here's more pics of stuff I've made chuz why not 🤣
#megaminds updates#behind the megadome#mega behind the blog#sewing#megamind be sewing#feels good to work with my hands#this isnt the month that orange clown won#this is the month I dusted off my sewing machine and MADE something#off to rest i goooo#bags#sometimes i make things
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
tiffany is a hater
#can u tell its my day off bc i posted 3 arts in one day#my art#procreate#i was telling a friend that the tiffany amy drama was soo good so i decided to draw them#too many hands in this piece#also the hair is a weak point for me i think. doesnt feel 3d.#faith the unholy trinity#ftut#amy martin#tiffany robinson#faith tiffany#tiffamy#/ tw eye trauma#/ tw eyestrain#tried shading with black for once . a lot of work.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
minho is felix's bestfriend and also happens to be your sworn enemy. he comes over one evening.
whats the worst that could happen...
-contains mature themes
frustration.
pure frustration was what you were feeling. was it really this difficult to operate a toy?!
a damn vibrator that too. a simple little vibrator. internally embarassed by your lack of 'skills' in using it.
maybe you were pressing down on the wrong setting. cause everytime it reached the highest vibrations, it would go back to the lowest setting, a few seconds after.
you didn't even feel like continuing because of how pissed of you were. what a bad way to ruin your fun.
it had been month since you last felt like you should treat yourself. get yourself off to be very specific.
and when you decide to finally try out your very first vibrator, the universe decides its not your day.
stepping out of the bathroom, still uncomfortable with the sensitivity between your legs. unintentionally edging yourself and eventually giving up entirely on trying to make yourself cum.
you blamed it on the vibrator. that darned cursed object.
flinging it on the bed in annoyance.
a small little sticky note is placed on the lamp on your bedside table. its from felix.
he had yelled goodbye while you were still showering (more like struggling). and you had yelled back, acknowledging him.
i'll be going out with chris for an hour or so. minho-hyung will be coming to our room in 20 minutes. im sowwy but he really needed a place to chill at...seungmin is studying and needs no disturbances....so i told minho he could stay in our room for a couple hours.
don't worry, bubssss i'll be back soon so things don't get awkward between yall!!!
MAYBE TRY AND GET ALONG?!
- lixie ☆
now this pisses you off even more. why the hell was everything going exactly the opposite of what you wanted.
lee minho was the last person you'd want in your shared dorm room. minho was literally gonna be coming here.
it had been almost 15 minutes since felix left. that means he'd be here anytime soon. before you even get the chance to hang your towel on the back of your chair, someone knocks on the door.
"fuckin minho of all people"
its real frustration at this point. nevertheless you open the door for him. taken aback by the attire he's in.
it was the very first time you'd ever seen him so...put together? dressed up?
what you meant was he was in semi formal attire ; a mixture of badboy or rather biker boy vibes.
"whats up with the outfit" you say, gesturing to him entirely. pointing out the leather jacket he had thrown on. it fitted him well. a bit too well.
the ripped jeans hugged his thighs. thick and muscular. a reminder that he works out and is a dancer.
"do i need a reason to wear what i feel like wearing?"
his cockiness has your fists itching to punch him straight in the nose. he huffs out a deep breath, walking right into the room. as if he owned the place. he had been here a number of times with felix. but it still pissed you off.
"fuck off" you mutter under your breath. closing the door and walking back to your bed.
that is until you see him plopping himself down on your bed. YOUR BED.
"what'd you say?" minho repeats. he has a few raspberries in his hand.
did he carry them all across campus..to eat them here ? you sometimes question his questionable habits and ways of thinking.
"don't feel like telling you" you cock back. placing your hands on your face and sighing.
were you that needy that for some reason his cologne made your breath fasten-
"what's gotten you so..." his voice trails off, beginning to question why you were so irritable. "...hot and bothered."
"i am not hot and bothered so kindly shut up"
you blurt out, blinking at him and thats when you realise.
where had you thrown the vibrator? did you put it back in your hiding spot or was it still in the bathroom...
"this says otherwise." and to your worst nightmare, minho is holding up the toy.
its like your blood runs cold. theres nothing you can say. or do. except go speechless and motionless.
"pretty cheap, don't you think?" observing it so casually. you feel yourself get wetter. his fingers catching it mindlessly.
"s-stop playing around with it" you stutter, suddenly feeling shyer than ever.
minho smirks and you unconciously press your thighs together.
"it doesn't work properly, does it."
switching it on. it buzzes loudly in the silence of the room. its vibrations are hardly anything.
you've had enough and you grab his wrist. pausing in shock when the buzzing becomes louder. you can feel it vibrating.
he presses down on it harder and it nearly vibrates out of his grip.
how had he managed to get it to its highest setting-
"did you cum? or are you just staining your panties right now as we speak." he snorts out, manspreading.
"cause this wasn't even switched on properly"
☆
you find yourself laying on your back. his hand slithered past the waistband of your pants. pressing it right over your cunt. teasingly moving the rounded tip up and down.
"needy pussy"
he's on top of you. smirking and observing every single change in your expressions.
"min-hho-" squirming under him. your hands flying down to weakly tug on his wrist. eyes struggling to stay focused.
"i must admit. hearing you say my name like that makes me want to see how you'll be if I fuck you"
sadistically keeping his pressure firm. nudging it under your panties.
"you're so much better like this, baby"
minho smirks. chuckling at the way you push yourself deeper into the bed. hips bucking upwards to escape his teasing. its cold when it comes in contact with your clit. the tips of his fingers rubbing into your folds everytime he played around with the toy.
"lee.minho a-ah" you writhe out, voice turning whiny. the familiar sensation builds up. except its more intense than ever.
he purposely turns the setting lower and you whimper in disappointment.
"maybe if i rub this..." pushing the vibrator all over your folds. a breathy gasp escaping his lips at how slicked up your cunt was.
"...or maybe if i touch this soaked cunt" dropping the vibrator and slipping his index finger through your slippery swollen lips.
"shit baby, did i get you this wet." and you know he's going to tease you for days if not months.
"you hate me, d-don't you" you whisper,shooting him a glare when he traces a digit over your clit.
eyes widening and breath quickening with how he maintains eye contact with you. bringing his head down to grunt in your ear. his fingers slapping your pussy meanly.
you whine, gripping his biceps. the leather jacket thrown on the edge of your bed.
"i hate you alright." he whispers, rubbing into your wetness slowly. minho chuckles. "filthy girl. you're throbbing on my fingers"
"i hate you so much that i jerk off to your pictures or that tone you use when you're pissed at me...i hate you to the point I cum so hard just picturing you taking my dick"
you can't control the fluttering feeling. coating his fingers even more so.
"i h-hate you more"
theres no heat in your words. gasping and legs quivering against his thicker thighs. keeping you open, unable to close your legs around his hand.
"hm, you do? tell me how much you hate me, kitten"
"i d-do...f-fuck" eyes rolling back in pleasure. desperately trying to chase your orgasm but he doesn't let you.
"yeah? you hate me so much that you're letting me touch you." minho says, voice going deeper. his ears are a shade of red and his lips parted.
"you're wet and begging for more under me. is that cause you hate me, sweetheart. or is that just you being you"
he quickens his pace. circling hard over your swollen and aching clit.
till you're throwing your hands around his neck. pulling him onto you entirely while you cum. its the hardest you've ever orgasmed.
maybe it was cause it had been so long...or you were sure it was because of him.
"there we go, good kitty" riding your high.
taking you by surprise when he presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. so you push a few strands of hair out of his face. not letting go of him just yet.
"don't call me that" you whisper, struggling to hold in your smile. his lips curve upwards into a subtle smirk. kissing your neck slowly..
"but now that I know you're so pliant, i claim you as one of my cats"
your legs giving in when he gets up. wiping his coated fingers on his jeans. it leaves a wet stain.
"again as I said." you lift your head up, confused.
"this thing is useless!" grabbing the vibrator like he had personal beef with it. flinging it casually somewhere behind you.
"choose me. customize, personal talk, boyfriend material, protection...all in one package, baby"
pointing to himself.
he reaches over to the abandoned raspberries on the counter. walking back to stuff one small red berry in your mouth. smiling when you savour it.
"good kitty"
.
.
"is that minho hyung's jacket you're wearing?" felix' eyes widen. wondering why you were wearing the leather jacket.
"yeah and he told me i could wear it when i meet him for dinner tonight" you reply, lacing your boots up.
"YOU'RE HAVING DINNER WITH HIM?!"
.
.
.
.
.
.
I wanna be his dinner- GOD HE'S SO ARGHSBSJAKJW HAHAHAHIWHEHSHS
#minho and you#not getting along#BUT HE'S PROUD TO#MAKE U FEEL GOOD#he loves the challenge#bestfriend's friend who is also your ememy#WAHHHH WTF I KINDA LIKE IT#mean dom minho#lives in my head rent free#subtle little praises though??#EVEN HOTTER!!!#who needs a vibe#when you got his hands on you-#minho and his veiny hands#I LOVE HIS ARMS#I LOVE HIM WHOLE#lee minho smut#lee know smut#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz drabbles#fluffylino works#stray kids hard thoughts#lee minho imagines#lee know imagines#minho smut#hard dom minho#dom!lee know
297 notes
·
View notes
Text
atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others
first year trio gojo/choso/nanami
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#geto suguru#yuta okkotsu#mahito#lmhs#atla!au: design#squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS#atla!au: art#i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy#thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties#idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me#i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this#let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble#yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon#but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL#(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)
737 notes
·
View notes
Text
#waiting for livraz 2 show up^#elendira#trigun maximum#trigun#lg doodles#mo but im like . going 2 complain for five secodns#but i hate working full time i hate it ive awkays hated it i will always hate it and when im dead ill still be hating on it#NOOO ENERGYY(‘!!!for anything . ever .#like ive given up on hobbies bc it feels soo fcking impossible to do anyrhing that isnt cooking dinner and then passing out 4 the night#miserable existence i want to claw my face off#the oast two yrs have been manageable in the sense that i alws had smt to look forward to#hyperfix or whagever. but these past 6 months r grey.DESOLATE‼️‼️‼️devoid of purpose#elendira outstretched hand lets take ibuprofen together#but its lexapro#anyways . ^__^!!~~ hope uve had a good day today#or did smt fun this week#bHELPPPP#walking 2 my car rn actually .. inagine the virgin walk guy thats like this > 🚶#metbh#being let out of my hamster cage . only to return 2morrow
658 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hiking with the matesprit
(this was hugely inspired by @/erysium and their gorgeous natural scenes! particularly, this post)
#my art#art#homestuck#fan art#karkat#karkat vantas#nepeta#nepeta leijon#wow. ive. never done a piece like this. at all. wow.#also i feel like it's incredibly easier to color alternia since all the colors are nonsense#i imagine if i had to paint a real life place itd be harder and also wouldnt look as good#this is once again in an au where alternia is cool n fashionable and karkat goes outside#this is my application to work for the hiveswap team <im lying#also i wish there were more resources on the flora of alteria. like serious id love to know what their nature looks like#ofc it's not explicitly katnep but 2 me it is. they r dating always#fun fact if you invert the colors on this the forest turns lovely and green#also karkats about to totally skewer his hand on that tree yeah
737 notes
·
View notes
Note
your headcanon abt peppino performing while he cooks reminded me of that scene in kiki’s delivery service where the chef guy does a cool spin with baking pans solely to impress kiki’s cat
peppino’s in the kitchen with brick and he’s like check THIS out. does a sick pizza flip or smth. brick’s like :O!!!
hes so talented !
#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino#brick the rat#brick#arts#mine#answered#i had this on my mind ever since u first sent this#its sooo cute#hes got really REALLY good hand eye coordination and control#and he doesnt really ever get a reason to flex that heehee#hes a good juggler too; lots of nifty hand tricks#and hes good w sleight of hand stuff#hes a talented lil performer#brick is VERY entertained <3#also i feel like its not immediately apparent#but hes working the oven for most of the day#so its just very hot in there which is why hes a little Pink
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
it was literally their moment and they just let us watch
(if you need me i'll be marinating in this for the foreseeable future)
#magneto#rogue#rogneto#rogueneto#IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO PICK ONLY 10 IMAGES. SOSOSOSO DIFFICULT. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE WAS FUCKING SUBLIME.#thank you to the person who pointed out the bg music is ace of base 'happy nation' ;wwwwwww; SUCH A GOOD SONG FOR THIS#okay but for real never have i had a stronger 'GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME' moment#magneto can we all form a queue to dance with you romantically in the air while an audience watches.............#their body language. their HANDS. OLD MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR TONGUE BY HER NECK#no word of a lie ive probably watched this scene 200 times today. new comfort media. inject it directly into my veins.#my husband laughing at me as i rewind and play over and over again from the other side of the room#my fave fave FAAAAVE part of this animation is the lil pan they do#the one between mags and rogue and the lyric 'where the people understand and dream of perfect man'#THERE IS SOMETHING SO SOFT AND ROMANTIC AND ADORING ABOUT IT#disintegrates like a sopping wet piece of bread. thank you animators who worked on this scene#i feel like i am burning with the excitement of a thousand suns over this#xmen 97#leigh's magneto hours
467 notes
·
View notes
Text
Still not used to this life or death situation stuff. That's good, 'cause I'm not either. You never get used to it.
#swedit#starwarsedit#starwarsblr#star wars#poe dameron#flashing gif#nym.gifs#thinking about how in the stuff pre tfa he just. he wants to be a /pilot/ he wants to be a /soldier/ because he doesn't want to have to#carry the burden of the moral calls and the weight of so many people's lives in his hands#especially when strategies go /wrong/#'point me at the bad guys and let me do my thing'#he works alone SO often.#and there's something so genuinely tragic that poe's just. /so/ good at what he does that he ends up catapulting himself into the position#that. he didn't want.#and the thing that /pushed/ him into joining the resistance to prevent from happening again (losing someone he cares about under his#command /keeps/ happening). and worse he ends up in these positions where he /could/ blame himself for things that /aren't/ his call.#like u know he's got to feel responsible for the village on some level not to mention fuckin /kijimi/#it was /his/ idea to go there#the world should've protected you. instead you've been chosen to protect it.#what an honor. what an injustice.#not all of these fit this theme but mostly i just wanted to focus on his reaction/responses to some of the bigger tragedies in the trilogy#and tbh there's also. plenty more shots.
416 notes
·
View notes
Text
Another, zzz
#wip#queue à la queue leu leu u.u#last suguru sketch i shared made me think of this one (because of the pose ig? symbolic(???) back hug from gojo tipa deal??? uh)#kinda exited to see the final of this ? idk when ill be in the mood to work on my idea of the type of rendering this should get#but in my head 'it will look pretty 😌'#not in the mood to do those kind of details tho so.. ciao#satosugu#呪術廻戦#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#stsg#gojo satoru#gojo satoru fanart#getou suguru#getou suguru fanart#夏油傑#jujutsu kaisen#五条悟#stsg fanart#i feel like this drawing will get modified (as in 'this is no good ; ERASE. REDO !) A loOOoooot when i next work on it#but slay ig#(i do know that atm there are uh.... i mean... gojo has two set of hands (because i was sleepy. got distracted. coulnd pick a set of hands..#i dont know. ALL OF THE ABOVE... something something... but you have to understand..! im a dumbass!!!#things happen!!!! happy little accidents.. !!!)#im outing myself as a distracted mess rn#“no no no!” i continue into the mic “youve got me wrong... there isnt even proof SINCE THE CROP OF THIS POST HIDES THE EVIDENCE” i singsong
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pressing.
#uchiha itachi#uchiha shisui#my own work#shiita#damn i'm still in such a rut#it's because using a new program feels like writing with your left hand when you're right-handed#csp is a good program#i just want it to work exactly the same as ps please
157 notes
·
View notes
Text
talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
#bkdk#bakudeku#it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in#i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years#i tried to say it like “oh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaks”#but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about#not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast#it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good#and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks#i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this#like we are not consuming the same thing#i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be#i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about#i like mha an annoying amount#i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene#i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good#it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it#hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you
345 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trust fall.
(alternate versions below the cut - click for better quality :3)
#not mil#school bus graveyard#school bus graveyard fanart#sbg fanart#ashlyn banner#aiden clark#ben clark#taylor hernandez#tyler hernandez#logan fields#my art#worth noting I used refs for poses so yeah :3#first full drawing with csp so pls have mercy on me :’)#I’ve been working on this LITERALLY all day it feels good to draw again and my hands hurt lol#anyways <3
277 notes
·
View notes
Text
Riz has counted four casseroles this week alone. Five, if one goes by the method of cooking, but Yelen's scary when she's crossed, and calling her burek by its proper name is important to her, so Riz does her the courtesy and doesn't include it in his mental tally.
He holds the tupperware over his head to keep it out if the way as he takes careful steps over the piles of notes in his path. The dockman case just closed, relevant documentations handed over to relevant personnels, evidences dealt with as needed; all he has lying around now is just record of the process and traces of himself thinking through it. Unsurprisingly they still haven't invented a surface more convenient for people under five feet who like to pace to put pieces of paper on than the ground.
Actual records go into the case folder with the other documents. Anything else with at least one side still blank is going to the school kids in the block - they chew through an astounding amount of paper just learning arithmetic. The rest is for the recycling basket.
Later. It's his mandated lunch break right now.
Riz sits down in front of the corner file cabinet. In an office often overrun with papers and strings and sometimes even thumbtacks, he's never really managed to clutter up this exact square of surface like every other ones. Ever since the bottom drawer rattled for no discernible reason a day long past, his eyes have always just kinda decided to slide across the space without acknowledging it.
It's years out, now. Riz doesn't know why he thought it such a big deal anymore, back then. He wasn't scared, he doesn't think. Not anymore. Maybe just uncomfortable with the idea that certain things persist despite all efforts to change.
He opens the tupperware. Dame Carabelle's experiment greets him with enough spice in the aroma alone to knock out a small mammal. When he chopped the vegetables for this casserole he couldn't really imagine the eventual heft of it, evident even through just these few ladles' worth, maybe weighing heavier for being still warm. His folk eat more through the smell and the textures and the aftertastes than the taste itself. His folk's meal is really the cooking rather than the eating. The eating is the meal's end.
"Hey," he tells the file cabinet's bottom drawer. "Um."
It's the anniversary. Riz doesn't know the exact date of his dad's death; nobody currently alive does. He and Mom both use the date of the funeral, though as he moved out to Bastion and then got more directly involved with Interplanar he hasn't really been going to Dad's grave as much. Doesn't seem like very efficient use of his time, catching a train or borrowing a car or spending a whole spell slot on going somewhere he knows Dad isn't at. They're sorta coworkers now. They talk on and off every other week between missions. When he goes now, it's just to clean up the place, keeping the landmark tidy and respectable.
Without that work to mark the date he doesn't really know what it serves anymore. But he still remembers it. Still takes note, absently or not, when it comes around.
There's not really a good way to tell the drawer that. Riz looks for another way to start the... conversation, hopefully. The question at play, he'd guess, is why he's doing this. He's been pretty content ignoring all the rattlings and the knocks from inside and the times it sits slightly ajar without him ever opening it himself; hell, he still uses the three drawers on top of it. Space is fucking precious in Bastion.
Precious enough to finally fix this damn drawer so he gets his turn to use it? Riz asks himself. Is that what we're getting to? Then he dismisses the thought - he didn't manage to fix it the times he actually tried, let alone-- now. When he doesn't really care that much to.
That's probably a good place to start. "'s fine if you keep being in there, turns out," Riz says.
The lunch hours are quiet in the block, sleepy and bright with the brief window of sunlight that manages to break through roof overhangs and extended balconies and laundry lines and climbing vines. Riz's work isn't loud here (the loud parts happen away from his office, if everything goes right), but the fragment of early summer heat reflected in the steady warmth his meal still carries compels him to lower his voice even more. It makes the words feel intimate, in a way he's never been familiar with - if he says something he just says it. He doesn't whisper. If he gives his friends something, he gives it open-palm. He's found out, along the way, that people usually don't think of rituals and courtesies the way he does.
Small voice for a diminished monster. "You know why I think so?" Riz asks. "Because almost two decades ago you kidnapped me and almost killed me, and now you rattle a drawer in my office."
It doesn't sound as much like a taunt as Riz wanted it to; the drawer has made a lot of noises again this morning when he checked the calendar, and he was definitely annoyed at it. Now, though, facing it like this after cooking the whole morning with more grandparents and peers from the block than he can count on both hands to cater for a tenant union meeting, he thinks the annoyance has morphed. Changed shape.
It has the shades of something like pity. Riz is not prone to pity, and especially not at these kinda matters. It's slightly maddening that he coheres perfectly outside of this one spot. That he commands his spaces, except for a drawer.
He puts the tupperware onto the floor between himself and the cabinet. "I know we're aware it's the anniversary," he says at the drawer. "You do this every year. You make a ruckus every time I decide to go do my job instead of mooching off my friends' aircon, and every time I get an invitation to some stupid social thing I want to turn down, and every time one of the old people tries to introduce me to a child or a nibling, because being a bachelor over thirty is weird," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have three fucking jobs. I love doing my fucking jobs. I'm forcing funds into infrastructures. You're never leaving, are you."
The drawer vibrates lightly. It's a very, very mild acknowledgement, considering the history of reactions Riz has gotten from this thing. Riz thinks it's emanating joyous agreement, or satisfaction.
It only sharpens the pity. Riz doesn't like that, but it's how it is. That's, ultimately, the lesson he's been taught over and over and over again, just by existing as himself, turned every which way by space after space that don't see him eye-to-eye: it's not like he'd quit living over any of it. It's not like any of it can sand off these fundamental pieces of him.
He's outgrown a lot of things, he's found out. Again, and again, and again. A childhood home, a yearly trip, a monster.
"'s probably scary for you, huh?" He asks. "Because I left."
He thinks he hears joints creak that sound like you did. Probably the way a scorned lover would say it, in a movie or a yellowback. He has no more connection to the idea than he did as a kid. Less, because it doesn't even scare him.
"That's what it is, right? That it's the anniversary, and I'll never be like Dad." He raises a knee from the floor, pulls it back closer to him. Slings an arm over it. "You love to remind me. The thing is, Dad also left. He loved Mom and he loved me, and none of us wanted it to happen, but it still did. Because love does fuckall to make anyone stay on its own."
He's long past being bitter about it. It's just the facts. Once upon a time he looked into the future and the specter of his friends' happily-ever-after casted lightless, fathomless shadow over him. Love, marriage, that kind of devotion, to a fifteen-year-old with more solved cases than friends seemed so eternal. Final.
But you can only watch your friends build up apps' worth of jilted lovers for so long before getting over it.
"You know what I learned?" Riz tells the drawer. "Love doesn't make anyone stay. Project management does."
He stands up, and picks up the tupperware of Dame Carabelle's casserole, that he helped make, that he helped share with a block's worth of neighbors and members of a community he's at home with, and goes sit at his desk to eat. "Last chance to get any," he drops an offer over his shoulder as he walks away.
He doesn't eat all of his share in one go. What he's spared he leaves on the desk when going outside for a smoke break. Baron looks the exact same as when he saw them last, when he catches a glimpse; they haven't grown at all. They aren't there when he comes back inside, but the leftover has gone days-old cold, like someone's sucked the future out of it.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#this is set a Long time into the future. riz is like 32 in this one#''I will go to sleep'' so turns out that was a fucking lie#lmao I just needed to finally externalize this idea into Some kind of more final form#initially I aimed for a comic with this but ooughgoughhh I am. indisposed. unable to do that rn#and also I feel like there would just be too fucking much Riz Saying Words in that format for it to work. and I always go if theres so much#words in ur comic might as well make it a fic. and well. heeding my own advice perhaps#just been sitting on this sentiment of like. perceiving romantic relationships as uniquely permanent or conclusive#when the vast majority of people I know would hugely benefit from a divorce lmao#since watching fhjy at least. I think in a sense this is kind of my personal answer for that sticky note style comic I did way back thens#how much of that fear of being deprioritized comes from not being taken care of by the community you're in#I think that's the prettiest answer I can give for riz's deal. not one singular Special Person no matter the kind of flavour#but spaces that he's integrated in. that he has a hand in building even#okay NOW I sleep. everyone be quiet ok small voice for good sleep. it wont be a lie this time I prommy
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
--Really, Doctor?
#star trek#star trek fanart#spones#spones fanart#mcspirk if you squint#bones x spock#star trek tos#star trek the original series#bread and circuses#bones mccoy#spock#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#this scene gets quoted a lot as proof for spirk#which is all well and good! but i have also seen it quoted against spones (bones particularly.) and i am a bit tired of that admittedly#i do have my grievances but i shan't say. if you squint they're there in my art of course but oh mcspirk my mcspirk save me#almost captioned this with an italicized 'oh' but that should tell you all you need to know about my thought process for this lmaoo#the thing with drawing things with a meaning in mind is that i face the inconvenient side effect of thinking that explaining myself will be#--thoroughly embarrassing. i am working on it. but also having to explain my metaphors (which i should! but. alas)...#embarrassing. i do not know why this is embarrassing but i feel it acutely#and as such i may simply have to write a fic about it 🫠#ok things to note just so i remember: spock's expression. the light. the oh moment. the hands#and of course intimacy. i enjoy my soft old men and they will be married eventually#anyways i sat down to do work and drew this instead lmao ill deal with my lab prep before bed (if i don't end up starting my sixth wip in--#five days 💀💀💀 hlep#dust medibang paints#trek fave
124 notes
·
View notes