#feeling weird. idk what's up but whatever it is has really been impacting my creativity again

[pekoeboo]

vent scribble. just kinda felt like projecting a bit onto khalan, i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ basically just his default state, honestly. rip my boy lol

please do not repost. also on deviantart

[whitleyschn33]

Caution: Rambling - most of this probably won't make sense, I just want to rant.

Hehehehehe....

Fuck. Just... fucking hell.

Alright, some pros. I like the Maiden affects on Winter. They looked good, I liked that the particles looked like powdered snow. Winter makes a very regal and kickass maiden maybe she should been from the start instead of resurrecting a character just to recycle shock value and grief idk. Winter also shows Ruby how sister grief should be done. I don't know why RT didn't go this hard for Ruby, they clearly can, but whatever.

Cinder is also the best she's been since V3 - like, I was blown away by how entertaining she was in these last two episodes. Kudos. A bit too late considering what a dead weight she's been for 4.8 volumes, but I'm trying to be positive for this section.

Uhhh... Weiss shooting Blake's gun and using it to support her rapier was cool. Makes me think that a weapon swap training exercise would have been cool so Weiss actually knows how to shoot it. The episode score was nice. There was this one part I remember thinking "oh, I really like that", but I can't remember what it was. I think Atlas falling with Qrow/Ace-Ops onlooking, but I'm not rewatching to find out.

I didn't expect Jaune to fall, so at least they didn't spoil that in the damn opening. Weiss/Jaune/Penny team up would have been cool, and I'm sorry we didn't see more of it. Oh! Weiss actually used her sword as a sword... but the wrong kind of sword.

We might be getting into African folklore/fairy tales/myths - not sure if that's a pro, but I know some people will be happy. The tree in the end credits scene looks like an African species, though I wouldn't swear to it; I'm not a botanist. Honestly, my first thought was Yggdrisal, but the style of the tree makes me doubt it. I'll have to see if there are any significant trees in African fairy tales.

.....

Cons time.

Penny. Why the hell did you resurrect her, do nothing interesting with her despite the multiple set-ups to interesting concepts, and then just murder her? Much like everything else this volume, it didn't need to happen. It was an ultimately pointless diversion before eventually getting back to what was orginally going to happen anyway. It's an attempt to get the same rush of emotion and grief from V3, but it utterly fails to do so because we've been through this already. How many times are we going to see Penny die? And I love Penny... I'm just... not okay with this, and I can't articulate how very well. Expect a lot of posts reblogged that I think say it better than I ever could.

Reactions and voice acting. There are so many points, practically in the first quarter, where I'm like "why is this character doing this/not doing this/pulling this face?" Weiss pushing Ruby away from a fire trap but not bothering to move herself. Weiss's voice acting sounding completely phoned in. Ruby looking almost bored and annoyed by Neo's approach. Still no good reaction to Yang's death from Ruby. Weiss reacted better to Ruby and Blake's death by shooting at Cinder through tears. Hell, Jaune reacted better to Penny's death, he at least screamed. And oh, I cant wait for the gender related takes on that, because they're going to be horrific and I can't decide if I'm going to cringe or laugh - Dimitri vs Edelgard was bad enough. There's just so much weird animation where the characters seem to forget they have lightning fast reflexes or should be emoting a certain way. We've seen Ruby deflect bullets, you're telling me she can't dodge an obvious trap? Also, Ruby using her semblance effectively multiple times this episode is just... really rubbing in how bullshit it is that she didn't even try to catch Yang - AND HER EYES. Use your damn eyes, you could have blown Cinder back at any point, but no, the writers don't want to have to actually be consistent with that so they can have their precious fall. It's not quite as bad as V5's finale, but I'm getting those vibes. Too much standing around, slow movements, characters not utilizing their abilities - I'm just disappointed.

Why is Willow's hand gorilla-flued to Whitley? It's getting creepy now. Stop it. Let him be a character, don't lump him in with Willow as "Weiss's redeemed family".

Everything with Qrow/Ace Ops/Robyn/bomb. Shit plot point put tacked on at the last second, has no impact on the audience since we're not supposed to actually care about the AceOps, and Vine wasn't one we actually got to have any scenes with before his death. Oh, and Robyn's not dead. That's a con, I'm sticking to it. She is the most annoying, infuriating, and pointless character in this history of RWBY, and I want to stab her repeatedly.

Also - not sure if this is a pro or con - I liked Qrow's reaction to realizing, hey, my nieces might be totes dead, but it comes so late, like an after thought, like why weren't you concerned with this before now? Do they even know if people were evacuated?

Where the hell are Pierto and Maria? Dead, I guess, since they just floated away offscreen into the freezing cold, but Qrow Co will probably pick them up next volume. Oh, great, another split volume, 3 ways this time. Qrow and Co, the Vacuo people, and RWBYJ.

Ahhhh, can't they have just killed the bomb crew? Or hell, have the void actually kill. It would be a ballsy, gut punch of a move, something no one would expect since I've seen literally no one (including most of the characters) react like the characters are actually dead. Seeing Winter react to Weiss's death, seeing her grief and resolve as she floats out of the portal - I realized that I want more of that. I would much rather see the side characters take on Vacuo, see how they pick up the pieces - hell, I may actually keep creatively acquiring RWBY just to watch the Vacuo sections. I like Winter, Whitley, Oscar, Ren, and the HH that aren't Robyn - I'll watch a show with them trying to keep together two cities worth of civilian refugees in a place like Vacuo. And hey, Sun and Neptune. I like Sun, and maybe without Blake there, he can connect with the side characters and not be horribly mistreated for the sake of the ship that shall not be named.

There's honestly so much more I could say, but I'm tired and hungry, so I'm just going to leave it there for now. Please don't try and argue with me in the notes about how wrong and stupid I am. This is a vent post, not an invitation to debate. I'm just really disappointed and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

[leavetwn]

* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old  , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things. 

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group  —  just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend. 

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends. 

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds. 

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.  

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside. 

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh 

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧��𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

*  friends, best friends, etc.  — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television. 

* a bad influence  —  i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey 

* good influence  — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush  — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance  — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all  — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

[marami-ko]

hello world!

where even to really start? i’ve had so many iterations of creative side projects and every time i restart, i try to reflect on those or try to introduce what i’m trying to do. but really, at this point, i just want to get started and say whatever.

i took some time off instagram this past month for a few reasons, but one of them was just me trying to figure out where i want to be (on the internet, if at all) and how i want to share myself and the things that inspire me, especially in relation to this dj-ing journey i’m on and all my other creative endeavors.

nothing really else felt right other than tumblr. which, in complete full honesty, i didn’t think i’d ever really end up back on here, not actively at least. i feel like no one really has time or attention for blogs anymore (which isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing). but the more thought i gave it, the more tumblr and a blog just made sense for what i want to do and how i want to engage.

for anyone reading this (and who isn’t active on tumblr), this website has somehow managed to become one of the most chill “social media” sites left on the internet. it probably still lives up to its pockets of old problematic stigmas (SJW’s, spreading of misinformation, idk whatever else) but it’s so much easier to stay away from all of that noise on here.

and from a logistical standpoint, i really appreciate how you can post up your own things but also re-blog other things from other people. i’ve always liked the idea that this site is just a collection of sharing things you like, all on one page. it could be a silly little meme, a thought provoking piece, artwork, a song. and it’s an exchange. not much is done on here for clout. you can be as anonymous or known and identified, active or passive, consistent or inconsistent, structured or unstructured, casual and silly or serious, thoughtful, and intentional as you’d like. there aren’t tons of algorithms doing heavy lifting to control what you see or what you engage with.

maybe it seems..arbitrary for me to bring these things up. or unnecessary to give this much depth of thought to any of this. i never really thought of myself giving in to a lot of that kind of pressure. i wasn’t so hooked on social media that i felt crippled by anxiety to post/perform or so dependent on it as a distraction. but i can’t say i wasn’t at least partially influenced by it.

and really that’s what bothered me most and why i needed to step away. and it helped me realize that if i use that platform, i have no choice but to be subjected to or to play by those rules. and i just hate the idea that any of that has an impact on my creative process, even in the slightest.

i’m still in a really weird in between. maybe i always will be. more and more, i’ve been learning how to enjoy the creative things i do on a deep, personal level but there’s of course, always the feeling of wanting to share things too—to connect with others through (our) art. and so I’m still trying to figure out that balance between. it might not help that what adds more to the complexity and nuance of that question, is that on a broader scale, i really feel we’re existing during an interesting time of what it means to be an artist or a creative and how we share anything we do. but that’s maybe just a whole other topic.

so…i said i wasn’t really going to do a reflection or intro but here i am. i always say this too, but all in all, i’m just excited to try again. i’m past the negative thought cycle that everything i’d done previously was a failure or that this might be yet another thing i don’t keep up. and that’s bc with all these attempts, this is the creative process. refining, discovering (or rediscovering), experimenting, exploring. so if i keep this up, then i’ll be glad! and if i don’t it’s okay and i can only look forward to whatever new mentality or perspective this will lead me to.

but most definitely feels good to be writing again. (and again, for anyone reading this, who has come to know me recently or anyone who is new and visiting, i’ve kept some kind of personal blog up since i was 13 and stopped around my mid 20’s for one reason or another.) and i’m also excited to share more, of my own work and other works that inspire me. (that’s another thing being on/coming back to tumblr all these years helped me realize. that as an artist, i’m just a culmination of all the things around me, the things i see and hear and read and touch and taste. but also the things i think and feel personally, and the thoughts and sentiments other share with me. actually, i could probably attribute a lot of my growth into the artist i am today bc of this website and all the variety of things it exposed me to!)

so yeah! i really feel like at this point, this blog will be a great platform to give the most full and complete, and hopefully most honest, representation of me and my creative journey. and already i feel a little bit more of a sense of joy rather than dread to share anything. i’d really like to think coming back to tumblr is, in my own way, a rejection of and counterpoint to the fast paced world we’re becoming used to. that i’m actively choosing to be more intentional and taking my time with things instead. so yee, just reeeeally looking forward to being here and doing the damn thing!

[thedreadvampy]

please keep talking abt wrestling. i've kinda fallen into this hole recently and, since you're cool af, I would love to know whatever you have to say about it

Well I mostly watch AEW although I was very into Progress before the pandemic (which is a London-based indie promotion that's also basically the feed source for NXT UK) but idk whether or in what state Progress will come back not just bc of the pandemic but bc this year's wrestling abuse scandals involved a lot of their management and core roster so they've had to really reshuffle.

anyway that's an unnecessarily grim diversion let's talk AEW (I'm a few episodes behind bc I watch on Zoom with my pals and it's easy to fall behind while trying to line up our schedules, we're gonna watch Winter Is Coming tonight)

This blog's opinions are:

Women's wrestling is severely underrated and that's the fault of the promotion not the fans, AEW has a phenomenally talented women's roster with a big fan following but consistently gives them no air time, very little space to develop plots, one match per episode that the commentators half-ignore, and only ever one plot at a time. I love Hikaru Shida, Nyla Rose and Britt Baker as characters but there's a huge women's roster of compelling characters who only ever show up on Dark or for a single bout not tied into any particular plot on Dynamite and it's very wearing. When they launched AEW they made a big deal about equal pay for the men and women's rosters and paying the same regardless of gender and fan status, purely based on card position, but that means absolutely nothing if there's only ever one women's match and it's always at the same mid-card position. Sorry to open on a negative but it makes me so mad that WWE, the company which is notoriously misogynistic and whose director had to be shown Asian schoolgirl porn to accept that the audience would find Japanese wrestlers "sexy enough" to put in the ring, is somehow a better venue for women's wrestling than AEW. like fuckkkkkkkkk just treat the women's roster like you would the men's!!!!

on which note, AEW Heels, the Paid Fanclub For Women Who Like Wrestling, is the most half-assed attempt to court the female wrestling audience I've ever seen (and I watched WWE's Revolution pay-per-view where the line was 'isn't it nice that the men have allowed women to have their own PPV thanks to all the men who made this possible'). like ok I COULD give you money to Be A Female Fan OR, wild concept, you could do more than one women's match per episode on your flagship show and not relegate the women's tag title to YouTube

Relatedly, There's Too Much Wrestling. As you can probably tell from the fact I'm 4 episodes behind on Dynamite, I struggle enough to fit 2 hours of wrestling into my week, but AEW also expected me to keep up with Dark, BTE, and sometimes other side projects? and now also Impact and NWA and sometimes NJPW. and then if I want to recognise big names they're bringing in I would also have had to watch WWE which like. there's even more WWE than AEW. idk I'm a completionist and it's simply not possible to watch All The Relevant Wrestling bc that would be like. 20 hours a week and I have a job and a life and stuff. like I watch AEW Dynamite and BTE and that does me.

this is all very negative but I love wrestling! I got into it a couple of years ago and it's absolutely incredible to me I love the artistry I love the athleticism I love the creativity and the fun people have with their characters. and the reason I gave up on WWE as soon as AEW started up is that it feels so much like the wrestlers are given space to play and to find the stories they want to tell.

MJF is a DELIGHT he's like one of my favourite heels he's so loathsome and so much fun! and there's like a really good consistent emotional core to his overall storyline of desperate insecurity I'm so into it and I'm so hype about when inevitably Wardlow's gonna turn on him. I love the resonance of his relationship with Cody vs his relationship with Wardlow and also the extremely strong gay unrequited love vibes that keep popping up here.

Hikaru Shida is AMAZING I love her. did u know she makes her own ring gear and learnt to speak English pretty much from scratch when she joined AEW a year ago and is now cutting full promos in English? also her facial acting? 😘👌👌👌👌

Sonny Kiss is phenomenal I hope they're on Dynamite more bc not only is she a phenomenal character in their own right but when she started tagging with Joey Janela their in-ring chemistry actually made me LIKE Janela for the first time. also it warms my heart that JR, despite being kind of an old fogey, is regularly correcting other commentators on their pronoun use and vocally acknowledging that Sonny is nonbinary.

honestly JR does just warm my heart in general like he visibly struggled early on with getting out of the 2000s mindset on Female Wrestlers Are Sexy Divas and he accidentally misgendered Nyla Rose one time but he's been really open to criticism and often gone to bat for the trans and queer members of the roster. he seems like a nice guy and I'm glad he's here, which I didn't think I'd be saying a year ago yk?

I know I already said this but Chris Jericho is a phenomenon. he just makes everything FUCKING FUN every story he tells is wild and hilarious. The Inner Circle gives me life (on this blog we stan Ortiz) and his beef with Orange Cassidy was pure gold.

Also Matt Hardy is here!!!! I love Matt Hardy, I think his Ultimate Deletion match with Bray Wyatt was what made me realise how fun wrestling can be and he always brings the creativity. He's been through a lot of shit in his life, I'm really happy that he's able to work with a promotion that gives him room to be as hogwild as he wants because Matt Hardy's great strength is being absolutely off-the-chain weird. I love him.

Speaking of Matt Hardy and the Inner Circle have you seen the Stadium Stampede from this summer? honestly worth buying the whole PPV just for that it's wild choice after wild choice for 45 minutes it might be the best wrestling match ever. idk if I like it better when Matt Jackson Northern Lights suplexes Sammy Guevara the entire length of a football field, when Matt Hardy chases Sammy with a golf cart, the whole bit where Adam Page just goes off and gets drunk in a bar and has a brawl with Jake Hager, the bit where Proud & Powerful try to drown Matt Hardy but every time he goes underwater he comes up in a different costume and persona - holy shit it's just amazing it's everything I love about wrestling

Moving away from AEW, the best wrestling storyline I've ever seen is Progress' story with Cara Noir and Ilya Dragonov. They're both phenomenal wrestlers but also the raw power and emotional weight of the story? it's simple but it's heartachingly beautiful I was lucky enough to be in the audience for the second of 3 matches in the story and I was nearly in tears it's so theatrical and balletic???? Check it out if you can it's in Progress' video archives (those are all pay-to-watch though. I think they're also on Amazon Prime for American viewers?)

Cara Noir is probably my favourite wrestler, although Nyla Rose, Charlotte Flair, Chris Jericho, Luchasaurus and Adam Page are all up there. He's just the most phenomenal physical performer and he really gets how much theatre is in wrestling, his facial acting is impeccable and he's not afraid to take hard bumps and really sell. also he just seems like a very sound person out of character (touch wood), he's very principled and takes his work and the wellbeing of his colleagues really seriously which is what you want in a wrestler

[bravadoseries]

i was tagged by @emiliachrstine and @chlobenet to tag ppl who make me happy! so i’m gonna do a bit of an appreciation post for some people i’ve been meaning to talk a bit more about since getting back into writing/ocblr :)  

@emiliachrstine ok first of all emilia i love you so much!! thank you for tagging me in this. i remember meeting you first through supernatural fandom and our mutual love and respect for jo harvelle and then bonding again over our mutual love and respect for the Queen sharon carter so i’m super happy that we’ve managed to stay in touch and always bond over our underappreciated faves. i’ve always loved your writing since i first encountered it i think (like when i was in eighth grade 😭 and i would read ur spn fic on the bus home from school) so it’s crazy to me that i can consider you a friend now. thank you for sharing so much writing with the world, and for being so open and kind. it’s always a joy to talk to you about writing, see your beautiful edits, and plan crossovers between our ocs. i love you 💓💓💓

@daaeleira pixie!! i know i’ve said this like a million times before but you have been one of my longest friendships Period like irl or online or whatever like i have known you so long and i’m so happy that i have. i love you so much and i am so grateful you’ve been there for me through so much of my life and when things get crazy i’m happy i always have the opportunity to talk to you about how dumb the russos are or hear you talk about your #problematic #faves or just vent. i’m so lucky to know you!! you’re such a kind and funny person, and you’re really supportive and also genuinely one of the most talented writers i’ve ever had the privilege of reading work from (fic or not). i feel like i’ve grown so much from being friends with you in my beliefs and my general outlook on the world which is not something i expected at all when i applied to be a mod for the winsisters blog but i am so happy and grateful that it was the case. i stan all of your ocs genuinely they’re all so good and you’re like. a legend in my mind i admire you so much

@perfectlystiles we are new friends but i love how easy it is to talk to you!  we get along super well and i love how we are both little bruce banner stannies and how we have such similar shipping interests lmfaooo i just really enjoy talking to you about giles and fandom and our messed up sleep schedules and how quarantine has really screwed both of us over motivation-wise.  i’m really glad we vibe so well because it’s always a joy to talk to you :~)

@kenobi-jinn we are also new friends!  i’ve been catching up on star wars media specifically so i can go HARD with stanning valencia when i start your obi-wan fic.  i’ve started your marvel story (and i’m planning on reviewing the rest of it too i promise !) and i am a huge fan of your writing style and your ability to hold up original storylines.  i admire your work so much and i’m really excited to get more into it :) you’re extremely talented! and also a very kind and easy to talk to person.  i’m really glad we’ve gotten in touch!  

@ocfairygodmother cass/jan!!!  okay i don’t know if you even remember this at all but i remember when elle’s story was first posted and i was looking for winsister stuff to read and i fell in love with it so early on.  we don’t talk too much anymore but i am so deeply admirational of how you have managed to build a real community out of ocblr.  you inspired me to write on an individual level when i was a kid and the community you’ve developed has kept me writing through these years, and so i owe it to you more than anyone or anything else that i’ve kept writing and that i’m pursuing a degree in writing as well.  idk if this is weird because we don’t talk too much but seriously, i owe so much of that to you.  you’re so positive and you devote so much time and work to being kind and supportive to other writers, and the impact you have had on my life and the lives of other people in this community is so large and positive.  thank you for being you, and for doing so much work that you didn’t need to do to help keep us together.  

@chlobenet ally i don’t think we have ever been super close but i’ve followed you for a long time and i am always stunned by how talented you are both with writing and editing! your ideas for ocs are so strong and distinct that they could clearly stand on their own as original pieces of fiction, but they also fit so well into the fandoms you write them for.  you’re incredibly creative and i’m grateful that you tagged me in this so i could have the chance to gush lol thank you!

@ahsokatonas joey i don’t know you super well but you are extremely talented and i admire your work so much!  you are a wonderfully talented writer and also incredible at worldbuilding.  not to mention amazing with edits and the like.  so thank you for sharing! 

@notaboutcat cat i have loved your writing and ocs since my supernatural days as well lol thank you for being such an inspiration to me ! and i’m really happy to know you and you know how big a fan i am of all of your ocs.  you’re a talented writer and you’re really good at building such unique and interesting characters that are a privilege to read!  

@suzieloveships thank you for being so supportive of my fic for so long! and for sending such interesting asks and leaving such kind comments on audrey’s story.  i appreciate it so much and i always look forward to seeing what you have to say when i see your username in my notifications :)

then there are a lot of people i’ve been admiring from afar!  so i want to say thank you to you all as well for sharing your writing or being supportive readers to others in the community.  sending love to you all <3 thank you for making me so happy

@lizziesxltzmxn @foxesandmagic @ultraocfury @aliverse @randomestfandoms-ocs @randomfandoming1 @feralcherry @celticboudicca @marvel-osity @sgtbuckyybarnes 

[tearlessrain]

okay I’m gonna liveblog the lion king we’re going to punch this dead horse until it gets up and walks away.

it’s just going to be a giant text wall of me complaining and nitpicking everything I think they should have done instead of what they did so probably just skip this one.

re: the bland visual design of this movie - elephant graveyard, nala says the sun is going down so why didn’t they take this opportunity to perhaps. have the sun be actually going down. and give the whole scene an ominous dusky red tone. that would have looked cool.

every once in a while a character emotes in a way that I’m like “okay, they can give them expressions and body language, they’re just deciding not to for some reason.”

I feel like this is a perfect example of my issue with this; when simba does the “I laugh in the face of danger” cackle, nothing really moves except his mouth. and I don’t know why, because like. the one on the left is what they did. the one on the right is still well within the range of realistic movement for a feline but it doesn’t look like a trained animal meowing on cue that got dubbed over with laughing.

and I can’t figure out why they wouldn’t go with the one on the right. and it frustrates me. this is a thing that happens constantly in this movie and I can usually pinpoint exactly how they could have animated it differently.

the zoomed out shots and color/arrangement of the mufasa lecture are really pretty though. if they’d just stop zooming in on the faces while they’re talking.

... okay, no, we’ve transitioned scenes and we’re looking at hyenas now but this is exactly the same color scheme and I don’t think there’s a deliberate reason for it. that’s not how. no. at least make the blue more washed out or something if you have to make both scenes blue.

I’m going to take video editing software and alter the lighting/color overlays of every scene in this movie.

I won’t do that but I want to. disney has done so good in the past with color theory and this is hurting me.

okay so ironically, I’ve heard a lot of complaints from various sources about what they did to Be Prepared, but honestly this is the only scene so far that’s really worked for me. it’s so much less uncomfortable with the visual style for him to be mostly speaking the lines in an understated menacing kind of way and it all came together really nicely. I haven’t liked all of Scar’s scenes so far but he’s definitely my favorite thing they’ve done here on average. also for some reason they don’t seem to be as afraid of giving him movement and expressions as with the other characters, maybe it’s just that he’s already the most visually distinctive idk.

anyway, Be Prepared was good and I genuinely enjoyed watching it, they should have done that with the first song if they weren’t going to do something crazy and colorful. critics were wrong. water is wet.

the voice acting in this movie really is just all over the place. it’s scanning like an elder scrolls game where the actors were just given most of their lines out of context in alphabetical order or something. because now we have “stampede in the gorge! Simba’s down there!!” [acted well but blank expression] “Simba?” [spoken in a tone that implies “oh, is that rascal in the gorge? interesting” and not “are you telling me my son is about to be trampled by ungulates???”] and I can’t tell how much is actually weird acting and how much just seems weird because it’s matching up badly with the animation.

so the action shots are good, they can do action, it’s just when they’re standing and talking that it gets awkward.

I think the reason Scar works for me more than the others is that all his concern and intentions are fake and we know that so if a line/animation falls flat it matters less.

the wildebeest scene is actually pretty okay, again because it’s mostly action. I can live with it.

don’t like the delivery of “long live the king” but at this point whatever

I already knew it wasn’t going to match the emotional impact of the original death scene because honestly what would, but this was a really unfortunate time to go back to not animating any facial expressions. simba’s voice actor is just giving it their all but visually they’re giving me nothing here.

Scar’s voice acting is fascinating, half the time the actor sounds completely checked out but when his lines land they land really well, so now I’m starting to think he was just given bad directions.

the extra scenes that weren’t in the original are like, noticeably better than the others. it’s almost like realism has a time and a place and can work well when you aren’t trying to remake a cartoon scene for scene with it. I suspect this is why I liked the jungle book so much but am not having a good time watching the lion king at all.

I rest my case about action shots: Timon and Pumbaa still don’t have facial expressions for the most part but they never stop moving and bounce around like cartoons, so it doesn’t look weird that they’re talking.

WHY DID SIMBA REACT WITH MORE VISIBLE FEAR TO PUMBAA SINGING THAN HE DID TO A WILDEBEEST STAMPEDE

kind of living for Timon’s inexplicable but honestly fitting gay lisp

again, everything around these two is more cartoonish and it works. so. much. better.

did they just fucking change animation teams entirely after the stampede or something.

the lions’ voice actors still really need to tone down their singing in comparison to the animations though, this is why be prepared was the only one that’s really worked. I mean it’s really good singing but that’s sort of the problem. to quote deadpool, they’re singing at eleven but we need like a five or six.

on the other hand I can’t believe we got that whole extra scene and Nala is literally voiced by Beyonce but they still didn’t put in Shadowland.

this is honestly going so much better than the first act because it’s not a shot-for-shot remake anymore and they’re actually writing their own scenes that, obviously, work better with the medium. I really hope it continues like this.

except for the fact that simba still just stares blankly at everything, that’s not great.

please. make a facial expression.

we’re back in “scenes that happened in the original movie” land and it is not a happy place.

there’s no iteration of this scene I can watch without thinking about the rafiki vine

god FUCKING damn it there was exactly ONE SCENE in the ENTIRE movie that SHOULD have been remade word for word and you CHANGED THE ENTIRE TONE OF THE SCENE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. WHY WOULD YOU MESS WITH REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. THAT SCENE FELT LIKE A RUINED SNEEZE.

FUCK;.

I’m so mad. it was finally starting to be a fun movie to watch and they did that. did they honestly think “I will always be proud of you son” would ever have the impact of “you are more than what you have become”

simba stop talking.

everyone stop talking you’ve already talked all the emotional impact out of this scene.

the soundtrack and new scenes are absolutely wasted on the entire rest of the movie. the travel montage is good but I’m still mad about the mufasa thing.

and let me be clear I’m cool with the visual decisions with the clouds that everyone’s mad about, that was fine if slightly too subtle. the problem is that they altered and drew out the dialogue in such a way as to completely defang the whole scene.

we’re still not gonna explain why the hyenas are bad or how Scar managed to cause a massive drought just by overhunting huh.

I can’t believe he’s hoarding all the food AND all the facial expressions for himself.

okay look disney you can’t just shoehorn a Girl Fight into every movie and call it feminism. what history do Nala and Shenzi even have to warrant this dialogue.

why did they put the simba/king music as a backdrop to rafiki beating up hyenas, this feels like when they used the nazgul theme for thorin in the hobbit. I’m at the point where I keep thinking “okay I’m just gonna stop typing and watch the rest and be done” but they keep doing weird shit.

good job nala you defeated your lifelong arch nemesis, the hyena you were once in the room with while she talked to someone else

again, the action shots are good. the problems arise when they start saying words at each other.

this movie has a big “people yelling lines that need to be said quietly for maximum impact” problem

in all sincerity this is badass now that they’ve stopped talking

this would be a better movie if it wasn’t the lion king.

Simba defeated Scar and absorbed his ability to have facial expressions, wild.

all right final two scenes are exact reshots of the original but blander, and we’re done

holy shit that’s too many producers that explains a lot

okay well it was okay for a while in the middle and the bits where they actually added new things and/or exercised some creativity, and I kinda liked the reimagining of Timon and Pumbaa, but this went about as expected. it’s not like it’s a horrible movie or anything but if I was gonna show a kid the lion king I would show them the original because it flows better, it’s more visually appealing, and you can actually tell characters apart at a glance. also they used color theory properly.  seriously who let that get by. you are more than what you have become, disney.

anyway this movie’s biggest flaw is that it didn’t need to exist in the first place and the people who made it exist anyway were goddamn cowards about it thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[idreamofhazel]

Supernatural’s End: Embracing the Sadness and Its Impact

Sappy post ahead. Like wow. I didn’t know I had that in me. (1.6k words below the cut)

I know everyone has been saying their own words about Supernatural ending (honestly it’s hard to even type that. Still doesn’t seem real). I’m not usually one for jumping on the bandwagon and I don’t post a lot of “extra” here, but like, I’ve been really emotional. More emotional than I anticipated. I can blame it on my period and the intense amount of stress I’m feeling lately, or I can just admit that I’m a big sap and that this show actually, really means a lot to me. More than I thought it would. And I should stop making judgments about the way I feel and my need/want to write this post.

When I first started watching, I was finishing my first year of college. It was spring/summer of 2013. I had a friend who was obsessed with it, she had been watching since it first aired. I honestly don’t know what made me ask to borrow her dvd collection (she has them all), but I took the plunge.

Maybe it was because I had started watching Doctor Who, and I was finally getting over my aversion to being a “geek” and DW gave me a taste of what it was like to really love something like that as an adult. (Avid HP fan since the books first came out, here 👋🏻) But idk. I just remember thinking, “It looks good. Why not?”

Dean annoyed the heck out of me at first. I’m not going to lie. He smirked too much, he was arrogant, and always trying to hit on chicks? No thanks. (hey, just being honest here) Sam, however, was it for me. I remember exactly where I was when I first admitted that I was a Sam girl. I was in Wal-mart with my dvd friend and her sister, aka my best friend since childhood. We were grabbing snacks because I was staying over, I think, and they asked me who I liked best with that knowing grin. It was that classic Sam vs. Dean argument that has morphed into quite a lot of other things now--but that’s beside the point. The point is that I was hooked, and it was an avalanche from there on out. 

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I have come to like and appreciate Dean. He reminds me of myself as an oldest sibling who had too much responsibility placed on them, and he also frustrates me in many ways because he’s so damn charming and stubborn. But that’s a discussion for another day.

I stormed through the dvds, staying up late despite being spooked until the end-of-episode dvd music became as nostalgic as my favorite backstreet boys songs. There’s just something about staying up late on summer nights to watch your favorite movies or shows. Let me know if you find a word for that feeling. Soon, my brother started watching with me, I had to explain the initial plots to get him caught up because I was on a roll. I wasn’t back-tracking. I needed to get through all eight seasons before the season 9 premiere that fall. 

I almost made it. I think I only missed the first few episodes. But I remember that first season finale I watched, that first time I got to experience the edge-of-your-seat cliffhanger with the rest of supernatural family, and my friends, on live tv. Watching Dean open his eyes, only for them to be black, made my jaw drop. 

It was so fun to watch this show with other people. I think it was about season 11 when my dvd friend, my bff, and I began watching it regularly together. We’d go over to somebody’s apartment, have some snacks, and discuss the plot points and our predictions. A couple years later, I roped my other best friend, @queenmestyles, into watching it. I’ve got two of my brothers hooked, too. Well, one of them is a slacker on keeping up, but he’s busy🤷🏻‍♀️ The point is, Supernatural became this event, this regular time slot in my weekly life, save summers, in which I was able to socialize and bond over this tv show. I had a group where we were all crazy about this one thing and we actually talked about it. I’d never had that before. Not on this level. 

And then you add in everything that’s happened through the online community...

I started this blog back in like 2013, but it was a multi-fandom mess. Which is fine, if that’s your thing. But I tend be anal in spurts, so suddenly I had had enough and I had to organize my blog. By this point I was only posting Supernatural, so it only made sense to eventually purge all traces of any other fandom and bring some focus to my blog. Then 2016 came. 

That was a weird time for me. I was about to graduate college. I was busy as heck. And I honestly can’t tell you what compelled me write my first fic. I just know that it swelled up inside of me, and I couldn’t ignore it. Even if the quality was meh. 

It opened the flood-gates. And Idreamofhazel was born. Little did I know I would be needing this writing outlet a lot in the near future. See, I’m the kind of person who sets a goal, sets a path to the goal, and then suddenly has on blinders to where I can’t see anything other than the path I’ve set for myself. And if I veer off that path... well, I freak out. And that’s kind of what happened. I was supposed to go to grad school the fall after graduation. Like, I had to. At least that’s what I told myself. But it fell through due to money and some poor research on my part (I had no idea my local university had a master’s program). 

So here I was, doing nothing “but working” for a year, being hard on myself and continuing to freak out about my life, but I was also writing. I churned out a lot during that time. Like damn. I was writing like my life depended on it. And I guess, in a way, it did. See, I had written as a child (poems, HP fanfic, twilight fanfic), but I repressed that hobby like you do many childish things, and I hadn’t touched creative writing in like 10 years. But Supernatural. 

There was so much to write about, so many things in the show I could pull from to create stories. And so much to read. I read fanfic while cooking, while waiting in offices, while falling asleep. I wrote in the mornings, the afternoons, and late at night. I wrote on my phone even though it’s a pain. And when I got writer’s block, I kicked myself as I still do, but I kept going. And I discovered that this writing thing actually means a heck of a lot to me. Like enough that I want to write original fiction. 

I don’t know where that will take me, but wherever I end up with writing, I’ll have Supernatural to thank. 

I have Supernatural to thank for a lot of things, but mostly I think it gave me a chance to be myself while discovering part of who that really was. 

Supernatural is there when I’m sick, it’s there when I’m sad or lonely. It’s been there when a person I thought would always be in my life left me, and it’s been there with new friends. It brought me closer to a lot of people. It gave me relationships with people across the country and across the oceans. I know it’s just a tv show, and maybe we can say it isn’t, or maybe we can say it is, but even if it’s “just a show,” the people who love it, who make up the fandom, they aren’t “just” anything. They make this show something more.

Right now, the feeling about it ending is weird. Part of me can’t accept it. And then it hits me and I get all emotional, until my brain is like “Wait--no, it can’t be!” And then the cycle starts all over again. So for now, I’m just going to accept that I’m going to cry about this for awhile and realize that the shock and the pain and the very real feeling of loss is showing me how much this thing meant to me, and then I’m going to hold onto that feeling and use it as energy for never letting go of this thing I love, this thing that made me realize parts of myself I had forgotten, this thing that pushed me to create and showed me just how much I need to create. Even though anticipating the end makes me sad, I know the sadness will eventually turn into something positive, like fond memories and gratitude. But it won’t unless I face the sadness. 

So I guess that’s part of what I’m doing with this post. Facing my sadness. Using this post as a sort of therapeutic outlet. If you’ve made it to this point, thank you. I don’t know why you’ve chosen to read so much about me. Maybe you just really like me, or maybe you’re looking for that outlet, too. So I’ll just end the post with this: Embrace whatever you’re feeling. Identify it. Examine it. See what it’s trying to tell you about yourself. And do something with it. Maybe that’s writing your own post, maybe that’s creating something for the show, the cast, or the fandom. Maybe it’s just quietly accepting that the loss you feel is ok.

Whatever it is you’re feeling, and whatever it is you need to do, just know that you’re not alone. I, and the rest of the Supernatural family, are staying put, and we will ride the wave of changes to come, together.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hello I am back!! I'm sorry it's been long, these past couple of weeks have had me swamped with homework :( and yet I still didn't do it all 🤡 also get ready for a bunch of messages because 1.) responses and 2.) my thoughts on Lockscreens. Spoiler: I am Emotional haha. Aww, thank you :') I used to think it was weird to give yourselves nicknames but I'm past that now haha. Another one I go by sometimes is "Lizard" because I stick my tongue out a lot when I'm talking??

(2) and people think I'm cold blooded because I get really cold easily and like to bask in the sun. I mostly just did traditonal sketches and a lot of screencap redraws. I want to get into art again, but I'm taking it slow for now and focusing more on my writing. And I feel that too LOL. I'm going to start a blog dedicated to reblogging x reader fics that I like because I'm too embarrassed to do so on my main blog (I tell all of your followers 🤡)

hey Honeymoon! as long as you’re taking care of yourself, that’s all I care about 💞 i’m gonna post my responses into two parts. a Lockscreens segment after you send in the rest of your thoughts and a get-to-know-you part for now!

(also I’M FROM CA TOO AND WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SENDING ME MESSAGES AT 3AM OML)

ngl, i feel like the best person to give you a nickname is yourself! i jokingly gave myself the nickname ‘Daddy’ and that’s literally become my “rave” personality LMAO. but i can understand why some people think it’s weird 🤷 honestly lizard is a bad-ass nickname !! i’m the same way - being in the cold makes me sooo sleepy and i’d rather bask in the sun 😂

i’d love to see your artwork or writing sometime! please feel free to send it over 🥰

(3) Honestly even with all my issues it's kind of nice being a hopeless romantic! Like you said it gives me the chance to day dream haha. Maybe I have my head in the clouds a lot but sometimes it's nice to be there. There's so many, but I think it's a tie between enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. I love the drama and comedy from the former but I'm so Soft for the latter, and that's highkey how I want my relationship to start.

(4) I think building that bond with someone before you even start dating them is really sweet, and having that connection by the time you commit to each other is 💓 I'm sorry you've been having writers block, that's the worst :( if it helps, the past two chapters have turned out amazing, I love them so much!! I think the closest I got to hardcore shipping something that wasn't canon was RinHaru? But there was also a lot of tension and affection in their relationship so I could see it being canon

there’s nothing wrong with having dreams! just so long as you can ground yourself at the end of the day. 

enemies to lovers is always the funniest for me to read TBH. because it’s such an inevitable cliche haha. friends to lovers though -- oooo my heart. 

the best relationships start with friendship. it’s the most authentic imo. like for me, it’s exhausting bearing my heart open to new people each time i want to get involved with someone romantically. but having someone who already knows you inside out??? swoon. what about a trope you dislike?

ah tyty, i’m glad you enjoyed them! the writers’ block wasn’t too bad for these chapters. i’ve had them typed up for a few weeks now :’) 

rinharu is so cute though! but Harukoto (or whatever the ship name is tbh) is super cute too. but maybe i just really like the best friend to lovers trope LMAO

(5) I just looked at their insta and !!!!!!!!!! that's so cute! I like bokuaka but I've never looked into it as much as others, but their art made me have Feelings lol. I think that is a good view to have on family tbh. I've developed a relationship with my blood family and we're close, but there's something special about the relationships and love you have for people you choose to stay with. I love Tiana!! I think she's a really underrated Disney character :(

(6) She really encompasses Disney's message of working hard to achieve your dreams, and she's a strong, independent woman without being closed off and rejecting her feelings. I think it's so cute and cool that she had that much of an impact on you :D Oof, I get that 💀. Men are gross 🤢 I don't get it very often because I live in SoCal and tbh to a lot of other people brown just equals mexican lol. They're right but I really don't look full mexican. Portuguese and Islander people can tell though

bokuaka art makes me have ~ feelings ~ i also really like @/liann1009 and @/maddox_rider on IG! (tbh idk if they have a tumblr whoops) liann1009 does a lot of OiHina whereas maddox_rider does bokuaka which is ridiculously cute too 🥰 

DUDE OMG YES!!! Tiana and Kita (from Atlantis) are under-rated QUEENS who deserved better!! we need representation out here in this b*tch!!! 

idek why, but some people think i look hispanic 🙃 but yes bby, men are gross and should be better!! i have yet to meet a man who deserves to stand on equal ground to me, imma be real. (2d men don’t count but y’know). does it bother you when people mistake your ethnicity? 

(7) Thank you!! Ngl it's kind of scary wondering about what the industry is going to be like because I'm sure I will run into a lot of biased people and sources, but learning to navigate that is just part of the job. Of course there's people who will read biased sources and attack you too, but you can't always escape those people :/ and thank you love, you're so sweet 💕 That's really admirable! It takes a lot of work and creativity to start a business, I'm sure you'll be successful 😊

(8) what kind were you thinking of? and psych is super cool too! Having that understanding of people and the world can be really eye opening and fun :D It's okay, he was one of my favorite teachers but looking back he was an asshole. He had his good/funny moments and did a lot for me, but he also abused some of editors in my journalism class, and some friends of mine :/ He wouldn't appreciate their work, sometimes insult them, and even encouraged my friend to not sleep for the sake of the paper

i’m positive that you’ll do just fine once you get out there! it seems like you have a pretty thick skin :) 

i really wanted to open a business to help support under-represented groups receive an education - with major focus on minority groups such as orphans/foster children, veterans, and the homeless. there’s so much logistics that tbh i’m too ~stressed~ to think about so i’m tabling that for awhile :’) 

bruhhh fuck that teacher. drop his addy, i just wanna talk real q 💞   if you can’t support all of your students, then there is no point in being a professor!! there is literally 0 reason to be rude when you’re in a position of power, especially when it involves someone’s passion, career, and/or education.

(9) I just remembered that there's a limit to how many asks you can send in a certain amount of time so if these suddenly stop I'm sorry! I'll come back when I can haha. I wouldn't say I'm all that great tbh, but I'm proud of a lot of my works LOL. My favorite part about it is using makeup and tools to just turn into something else. Wounds are always fun, but making yourself a gargoyle or some other creature is what makes it so interesting to me.

(11) I'm OBSESSED with the makeup and costumes from LOTR. It's my biggest inspiration. I can go on about it haha. That's so cool!! Being a part of the whole production, especially all sides to it, sounds so fun. Do you have any favorite memories from your time in high school? I'd love to hear them if you have any :O Confession: I have never seen any of those asdfkljvk. I know I really should though and it's on my to do list ! I've heard really great things about all of them !

imma be real, i didnt know there was a limits on asks LMAO. i did hear that they sometimes get eaten though, so i really hope that doesn’t happen 😅 

we all start somewhere. your first step will never look like someone else’s, nor should it. as long as it’s something that you can look back upon and be proud of and know that you’ve grown from, that’s all that matters! 

just imagining someone using makeup to turn themselves into a gargoyle has my head spinning  🤣 like ya girl can barely do her eye-makeup, let alone anything as intense as that! what’s been the most difficult project? 

DUDE, I LOVE MEDIEVAL-HISTORICAL WORKS! like the dresses from that Mary from Reign wears has my heart so softtttt. dfsnosdf. please!! tell me some of your fav things about LOTR  💖

omg high-school was so long ago, i don’t think i have any favorite memories from it 🙃 i think the opening night of a production would be the best. listening to the audiences reactions as the performers left their hearts on-stage, seeing all the pieces fall together, that was always absolutely incredible. wbu, what did you enjoy about hs? 

i have very strong opinions on those musicals LMAO. i can talk about them forever  🤩

[othernecessarythings]

let’s go

and btw it it’s weird that i just tell my whole life story like this where no one will ever read it, and it’s kinda cringe that i’m writing in english for no one but myself, but whatever here we go

TWENTY ONE PILOTS

* implicit demand for proof: are you more of a skeptic or a believer?

skeptic, i’m no good at believing or being optimistic smh

* fall away: are you afraid of heights?

not really

* the pantaloon: describe your favourite shirt.

ooh i’m right now is it probably my big, deep blue nike hoodie? idk it just fits to everything

* addict with a pen: write a four-line poem about whatever’s on your mind.

please reopen the schools (wait four-line? i read four-worded huh)

* friend, please: what is the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?

my friend gave me a decorated photo album, it’s one of my most priced possessions (does that expression even mean that? i mean it’s very important to me anyways)

* march to the sea: you are given one day to live, with unlimited travel capabilities in that time. where do you choose to die?

probably here in my hometown? i’d travel as much as possible, but i’d still like to die where i belong

* johnny boy: have you ever risen to an occasion in a way of which you are proud?

hm probably, but i can’t really come up with any

* oh, ms. believer: is your favourite season the same now as when you were younger?

yeah, i’ve always preferred spring/summer

* air catcher: give your most unpopular/controversial opinion about love.

that it’s no rush trying to find love? everyone’s like it’s okay if your first love is in your 40’s, but i feel kinda stressed out that i haven’t fallen in love yet

* trapdoor: when have you felt invisible?

um the whole winter of being 14? but like invisible for everybody else, painfully visible for myself while i simultaneously shut off and didn’t feel a single emotion for like half a year,, yeah aha ha good times

* a car, a torch, a death: favourite way to travel? least favourite?

favorite: train, i always have a special and exciting goal if i travel

least favorite: car i guess, it’s just so mundane and boring

* taxi cab: tell us about the most memorable journey you’ve taken.

i’ve been on lots on journeys, but they’re all like typical family trips, so allow me to get poetical here, i guess the most memorable journey has been my own? like how i have evolved and developed to where i am today? hmm

* before you start your day: name your favourite part of your morning routine.

getting to check others private snap stories and to see what has happened during the night for them

* isle of flightless birds: what do you think is the most beautiful part of nature?

ah i love love nature and the complexity of it and how everything is connected, but like one specific thing? sunsets. it may be basic, but i’m a real slut for sunsets

REGIONAL AT BEST

* slowtown: where is your sanctuary?

i live by the sea, so i’ve got a few safe places near the shore that’s my favorites,, and like my best friends house, i always feel at home there too :,)

* glowing eyes: you inherit the powers and status of one well-known superhero. which do you choose, and why?

um i’m not that much for superheroes but like shuri from black panther is really cool and super smart, so that would be awesome!

* kitchen sink: what is something that only makes sense to you?

i’ve never mentioned this to anyone before, but i kinda think in shapes? ye not gonna elaborate on that one, but i feel like that’s not really explainable to anyone but myself

* anathema: what is a word most people don’t know? give its definition.

okay the swedish word fika,, like i’m very confused by how you non swedish guys live your lives without that word?? it basically means to “sit down, eat something sweet or more of a snack, have a cup of coffee or similar, and just talk and enjoy time together” and it’s very useable and necessary in my vocabulary

another word i thought of was the swedish word dygn. the translation is a day, but like we have a word for day too. day=dag. but a dygn is more like the 24 h the day lasts, while the dag only lasts during daytime,, idk it sounds complicated but it really confuse me sometimes when someone says a day, cause idk if they mean like the whole dygn, 24 h, or only daytime,, okay rant over

* lovely: how often do you express affection?

sigh i’m really bad at it and i should show the people i love how much i appreciate them more often, but when i do is it usually in form of words and thoughts,, i’m not a touchy person, not the one to give lots of gifts either, but i like to show it in words

* ruby: has a stranger ever permanently impacted your life?

hm no not really a stranger? but i mean some celebrities (*ahem tyler joseph*) have really changed my life, and i guess i’m just a total stranger to them but it feels like i know them personally for me

* be concerned: name an issue you believe should receive more attention.

all the species doing extinct

* clear: how much of yourself do you wear on your sleeve?

um not that much, i’m usually a quite reserved person

VESSEL

* ode to sleep: describe the last dream you remember.

omfg oh the dreams i’ve had lately, they’re something complete different,, like with the quarantine have i started sleeping more, which i guess is good, but i’ve started dreaming so much more and it’s fucking scary how much and how intense i dream now? like every dream seems real, and i’ve started to struggle to remember what’s actually happened in my real life compared to what i’ve dreamt, i can’t separate them and it all mixes together to one confusing mess,, and some dreams have been quite horror like too, not that i’m bothered when i’m actually in them, but more like i wake up and think whatthefuck actually happened

* holding on to you: which part of a conflict do you believe is more important - the journey to solution or the solution itself?

solution, i’m always a solution person, just give me that damn happy ending even with real problems too

* migraine: do you have a favourite day of the week?

no not really, it really depends on what i’m doing each day

* house of gold: what is a childhood dream you had that now seems unrealistic?

hm this is about to be sad but i never dreamt of anything big or special, ive always known that i’ll just end up living a normal life like anyone else? and i haven’t got any special talents or something, so the most creative i can think of is probably a good scientist or something

* car radio: do you enjoy silence?

in the right amount, yes. i usually appreciate silence a lot, whether alone or with friends i’m comfortable with, but that awkward silence sometimes is horrible

* semi-automatic: what is your stance on gun ownership?

disgusting. there’s no fucking argument that justifies having a gun, a possibility to take someone others life. there’s NEVER a valuable reason. sweden is really good with our super controlled gun laws, but like the us desperately needs stricter gun laws

* screen: what is the lie you most regret?

uhm update i think the last time i wrote here was in like april?? so anyways it’s december let’s finish this one lol

oh um i am, as mentioned before, highly scared of conflicts so i’m always weighing pros and cons of lying - and usually am i quite close, so there’s really no big lie that i regret? i tend to stick to the truth bc i’m scared of the consequences that might come if someone discovers my lie

* the run and go: if you were a fugitive, where would you hide out? explain.

simple answer: my friends places, if i had to hide somewhere better than that then maybe like... my grandpas wife has a lovely summer house in norway, yeah i’d hide there

* fake you out: freedom or safety?

depends. right now, fucking freedom. no, but like in theory right now freedom is the only thing i wish for, but i’m actually prioritizing safety bc of obvious reasons and i hope everyone else is too so i can have my damn freedom soon

* guns for hands: what is your favourite metaphor from a book or other piece of writing?

i really wish i was more attentive about such things, right now so i not have a clue

* trees: talk about your most memorable experience with a stranger.

i’m shy and scandinavian so i don’t talk to strangers unless i really have to,, maybe the man who shouted “i want that chinese” and pointed at me when i was in the city with my friends, who made me fully realize that wow people are actually racist towards me

* truce: name an acoustic song (other than truce) that makes you emotional.

misguided ghosts. do i really need to say anything more? no.

[surveystodestressme]

60.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 15

1401. Do you like your movies and books to be more lighthearted or serious? it really depends, honestly 1402. What’s more important, first impressions or lasting impact? lasting impact 1403. Order these areas of psychological health from what you need the least improvement in to what you need the most improvement in: physical, emotional, social, intellectual, environmental, spiritual spiritual, environmental, emotional, social, physical, intellectual 1404. Do you react appropriately to things and control your feelings? i try to 1405. Do you have stable relationships? i think so

1406. Do you need to be in a relationship to feel good about yourself? nope 1407. Which is the most clear and concise, your thoughts, your speech or your writing? Which is the least clear and concise? my thought are the most clear and my speech is the least because i mess up words and say the wrong things all the time 1408. Are you always trying to learn new things? i try to 1409. Do you feel at peace? not at this point in my life but i’m getting there 1410. Do you have strong morals and ethics that you believe in and adhere to? yeah. 1411. Are you over or under weight? technically i’m average but i feel overweight 1412. Do you think of the needs of all humanity or just the needs of yourself and those you know? for the most part, me 1413. Do you recycle? nope, only when i’m at school 1414. Are you active in your community? not at all. 1415. Are you sensitive to the needs of others? i try to be 1416. Do you dress up to go to the mall? not really anymore. 1417. Have you ever been on anti depressants? nope. 1418. Name a part of your body. Give that part of your body a name. head.  big head 1419. Is fourteen your lucky number? nada 1420. What could make you lose respect for someone? when they are rude for no reason 1421. Is ignorance really bliss? i don’t think so 1422. What can be described as ‘even better than the real thing’? a dildo... lol jkjk 1423. Are you jealous that dog can lick their own genitals? If you could do that would you ever leave the house? lol no dude.  1424. What’s in your wallet right now? driver’s license, debit card, some cash, change, and some coupons 1425. Do you write letters that you never send? yeah, actually 1426. Do you ever get the feeling people are laughing at you? sometimes. 1427. Who’s the one person you’d like to drop a house on? several people 1428. Have you ever been swept off your feet? literally? yes, lol 1429. Tell me why you don’t like Mondays: work 1430. In the Harry potter series the books seem to be getting darker and more serious with each new release. Do you like this change or do you prefer the story to be light? i like the books.  i stopped reading halfway through the 5th one, though 1431. How often do you update your diary? every day 1432. What do you mostly write about in your diary? what happened in the day 1433. How many quizzes and/or surveys do you have in your diary as entries? is this like an online diary thing? bc i don’t do that 1433. How many forwards does your diary contain? mine isn’t online dude 1434. What is your writing style like? idk 1435. How honest are you in your diary? pretty honest 1436. Why do you write in your diary? idk just to document my days so i can look back on it 1437. Do you have a comet cursor on your diary description? idek what that is 1438. Do you ever chat online? not very often 1439. Have you ever met someone from online? How’d that go? from tinder, yeah lol 1440. What’s your favorite horror: Movie? the saw movies Book? most of the stephen king books 1441. Have you ever caught a mistake in a movie? plenty of times, i watch cinema sins lol 1442. Have you ever seen that munchkin who supposedly hangs himself in the Wizard of Oz? If yes, how/when should someone look for it? nope 1443. If you had to give yourself a letter grade (A, A-, B, B-, C, C-, D, D-, F) for things how would you grade yourself on: Happiness: A- Being a decent human being: B Being serene (calm, peaceful): C Kindness: A Anger management: B Creative thinking: B+ Modesty: B Being an original: B Knowing yourself: B- Being true to yourself: A- Getting along with others: B+ Liking yourself: A- Admitting your flaws: A Self improvement: B 1444. Are you kinky? i don’t know lol 1445. How would you feel if twice a week you could wake up next to the person you love? i’d be pretty happy 1446. Out of all the people you know who is most likely to be one of the great minds of our time? uhh.... my sister??? idk 1447. Have you ever been to: Church? yes. Temple? yes. A bar? yes. A house party? yes. A rave? no A goth club? no. A punk show? yeah A hip hop club? no What sounds like the most fun out of that list? a bar. 1448. So far, have you changed around any of the questions on this survey? nope 1449. Are you crying on the inside? not right now 1450. Are you afraid of the future? a little 1451. What will you dress up as this year for Halloween (if you celebrate it)? halloween has already passed 1452. Do you think of some people as not worthy of being your friend? not currently 1453. If you won $1,000 every week until you die, would you still go to school? Would you still get a job? i’d actually do more school since i could afford it 1454. What’s the most difficult job you can think of? doctor 1455. If you could decorate your room with any theme you wanted what would you pick? outer space 1456. Of the following bands which would you be most likely to check out? roxy music (70’s glam) the magnetic fields (current indie rock) kraftwerk (experimental electronic rock) <— this one i guess. 1457. You and your boy/girlfriend have been together 6 months or longer…. One day s/he wants to go to a strip club with his/her friends to hang out. It’s guys/girls night out and you aren’t invited. Would you be upset by this? nah.  jack actually told me that for his friends bachelor party, they were going to a strip club.  like at first it bothered me but i know he loves me and only me so it’s not a big deal at all. 1458. Can a person avoid dying if he or she does not believe in death? no???? 1459. If someone sings songs that they don’t write and they don’t play any instruments or mix the songs or have any creative input at all..Are they a musician? i used to think about this a lot and yeah i guess they’re still a musician. 1460. What do the following stand for: html? idk faq? frequently asked questions. fao? no idea. imho? in my humble opinion. hiv? human immunodeficiency virus aids? aquired immunodeficiency syndrome r&b? rhythm and blues. 1461. What does the world owe you? nothing 1462. Do you read plays and books or just get the cliff notes? read the books usually 1463. What do you want to get out of life? happiness and success 1464. Do you know what is really important to you? family, friends, jack 1465. What trend has been getting on your nerves lately? most trends get on my nerves lol 1466. Do you forgive yourself when you make a mistake? sure 1467. What tiny little very small thing has made you hugely happy? coming home and getting to lay down and read a book or simply just hangout with my parents 1468. Can you read body language well? kind of 1469. Do you look people in the eye when you talk? i try to. 1470. Do you notice if they aren’t looking you in the eye? usually 1471. Are you alert to opportunities? sometimes. 1472. Puppet Yoda or digital Yoda? digital 1473. Do you look like the person you want to be? yeah 1474. Do you behave like the person you want to be? for the most part 1475. Some children were asked 'how would you make your marriage work?’ One child, Ricky, age ten, said: 'Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.’ Is this good advice? no.  i would want my partner to tell me if i looked weird or different 1476. Do you visualize your goals and dreams? yeah 1477. 4x + 3 = 15  What is the value of x? 3 1478. Do you keep yourself organized? yeah 1479. Does anyone really win an argument? oh yeah, and it’s me 1480. Have you ever had champagne? at a wedding when i as like 16 and it was gross 1481. Do you strive for perfection? nahh, i’m just trying to get by honestly 1482. Name one thing you understand. my computer lol 1483. Whatever it is are you afraid of it? nope 1484. Do you dislike being told what to do? very much so 1485. If you had a cat would you have it declawed? now that i have done research in declawing, i would never get my cat declawed ever again 1486. Do you prefer lobster, clams, or crab meat? crab meat 1487. What do you think about guys who don’t wear underwear? i don’t care 1488. What do you think about girls who don’t wear bras? i don’t care.  i don’t wear one half the time 1489. Do you ask for what you want?

usually 1490. What are you against? rape 1491. How many notes does your diary have? - 1492. Ace of Base or Enya? idk what these are 1493. What makes you feel awkward? everything 1494. Have you ever been to teenopendiary.com, and if yes, how does it compare to opendiary.com? idk what that is 1495. If you were going to switch to another diary website, which one would you go to? - 1496. Do you believe that certain books should be removed from high school libraries? depends on what it is, but i’m sure there is stuff that doesn’t belong 1497. How do you feel about gay and lesbian marriages? i’m pretty happy they are finally able to marry who they love 1498. Can you rearrange the letters in your name to form any other words(check here if you aren’t sure http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/)? not that i know of 1499. What is the sexiest moment in a movie? sex scenes???? 1500. Do you have a favorite stand up comedian? chris boom boom johnson