#feeling very Emotionally Content
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jinstronaut · 7 months ago
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this is the best day of my life i rly mean it
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I fear that Alfons's route will be just as emotionally taxing as Elbert's and I'll miss using my tickets in time just like I did in Elbert's route because my brain's had enough emotions and miss finishing the mission board again
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rileys-battlecats · 7 months ago
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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.
i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.
anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)
#rye.txt#growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done#which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment#i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset#i feel guilty if im not constantly working#which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that#trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art#which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water#when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself#but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work#ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys#I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART#and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly#good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well#vent in tags#this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'
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nonoqy · 10 months ago
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i feel like i didn't really say anything publicly which makes me sound maybe too harsh at times but this is where i'm at. sorry i was too lazy to retype all of this so i'm just sharing screenies of my thoughts !
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deepseawave · 5 months ago
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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masquenoire · 1 year ago
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That feel when your muse is capable of committing the nastiest, most horrific deeds but simultaneously can be wholesome af. Roman would absolutely be the type of parent who'd stop in the middle of torturing somebody just because his child woke up crying due to a nightmare, clean himself up and go comfort them until they fall back to sleep again before heading back to the torture chamber and picking up the scalpel while being all "Sorry about that, remind me again where we left off?" as though nothing happened. 🥲
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yourhoeshorses · 1 year ago
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Wait a second... can someone with more understanding of fandom cultures explain something to me?
Do people ship characters because they believe they are going to be a cannon thing????? I thought it was just for fun?? I'm like, oh these two characters seem fun together, what if they dated. I just be mixing and matching these bitches I legit dgaf if it actually happens or not.
Maybe it's just whatever weird end of tiktok I'm on, or maybe it's just something I never picked up on until now, but like,,, people will say, "oh these ships are invalid cuz they won't be cannon" OK????? AND??? It's just fun
Like I remember being a kid and watching shows and my friends being like oh did you see that (insert ship name) scene???? Like girl I don't care. Two characters could never have interacted and I'm gonna ship them.
And that's all I thought it ever was? Is it like,, different now or some shit?
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tardxsblues · 2 years ago
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just watched the angels take manhattan
how do doctor who fans not just combust on the regular?
even back in the peak superwholock era, i really only saw gifsets of ten and eleven being adorable goofs, and i vaguely knew of the various companions and their shenanigans, but ive been out here for years thinking it was a silly little space show (i now know how very wrong i was)
the heartbreak you go through on a regular basis with this show?? i don’t think i have ever shed more tears while watching something than i have with doctor who, and i am only on season 7
please forward support group links and helpline numbers, thanks
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 11 months ago
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true detective season 3 is for all the sensitive boys out there
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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my great auntie barbara has been a widow for almost 10 years now. uncle jack died in summer 2014. and with my grandfather gone she's without her only brother too. today was the wake for my grandfather and she looked absolutely beautiful, i told her as much, she was the best-dressed lady there. and it's been almost three years since my grandmother died and you could tell there was a different understanding between her and my grandfather whenever they got together. it became more necessary to invite barbara to extended-family events when her husband died, but after grammy died it was just about mandatory. there was just something about the two of them sitting together, brother and sister, in their 90s having lost their life partners, but sitting with the only other person left that they had known for as long, no, even longer. as far back as they could each remember. they both looked like they were in the company of their favorite living person. so it was hard to see her at the wake although she looked beautiful and she always does; she has a wonderful smile. it must be hard to be the last survivor of your generation. i just hope she goes home and she has something that makes her feel not so lonely.
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kurthorton-moving · 2 years ago
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feeling very 🧍‍♂️ may not be around for a bit
#its nothing tumblr related really its more just irl#a mix of being tired and having deadlines and not being able to make myself work#and the. kinda harsh switch in vibe in the house from last nights everyone hanging out having fun#to todays me alone cleaning up after everyone and knowing that the others are content doing their own thing and don't wanna hang w me#which like!! is fine im not expecting to be the center of their world its just.#idk we used to hang out every night watching a movie or some tv and laughing#and ever since i got back from my trip we just. we spend time together maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks and it takes me asking if they wanna#hang out like 3000 times before it ever happens and when it does there's just. theres a disconnect#and I think they just realized during the two months i was away that theyre. maybe a bit happier without me#or at least they find it easier to not hang out#like theyve got jobs now so obviously they dont have time the way they used to but its not just that theres been a Shift#i think they also might. kinda resent me for the trip and having that opportunity#which sucks bc i cant. do anything ab that i had no say in the trip i didnt want to go#and even saying that makes me very. like that feels like such a selfish arrogant thing to say to want to turn down a trip across the world#but everyone who was here during that trip knows that i spent the entire time dissociating and getting yelled at and suicidal so uh#i dont think its selfish to not have wanted to go when i Knew it'd end like that but i think they might think it was#ANYWAY this got depressing and sad i dont mean to bring shit here its just i literally only have 3 friends and 2 of them r these ones#and the other is so emotionally unavailable and doesnt really take mental health seriously so#ooc.#negative cw
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chompe-diem · 2 years ago
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shoutout to my discarded poll post for my followers asking whether or not i should watch crown of candy
#sigh bc on one hand theo is Really Intriguing To Me#and food puns??? fuck yeah#then on the other considerably larger hand#ive heard So Much about how Emotionally Taxing that season is. im p sure there was huge char discourse stuff amongst the fans as it aired#and girl imma be honest that shit sounds Stressful!#full disclosure it does not sound like something im looking for in my media consumption!#but also the fomo & the completionism (only IH szn i havent seen yet) and it does sound in a lot of ways like a genuinely compelling watch!#like it’s a lot of people’s favorite! the fact that it was such devastating watch implies that it resonated with viewers!#i think the only ih part/campaign i see talked abt as much as this one’s is f*h and arguably i might see less f*h posts#and i hear the lore is rlly good and the battle sets are fuckin awesome#like. it sounds like great content.#ive kind of been operating under the premise that i wont watch ac*oc ever and while Evidently i’m not unmovable on this concept#ive been sort of leaning very heavily that way since ive gotten drop*out#i backwatched all the ih campaigns in order and intentionally skipped it#ive been lightly back and forth on watching it bc again there are intriguing factors#but ultimately every time i consider it i end up deciding no it’s not worth it or at least no not today#however again the completionism and the fomo and also t*rw happening and general exposure over time to random tumblr posts w/ no context#but also it’s like. do i WANT to have context? do i want to have takes on this shit? do i want to submit myself to finally Knowing#at the cost of Also having very serious feelings on the very serious characters?
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impossible-rat-babies · 2 years ago
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gotta stress more how Messed Up eyrie was by their young adulthood to adulthood being shaped by severe isolation from peers and loved ones
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executionerspity · 3 months ago
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Catching Pop Flies And Feelings, Ch. 24 and Ch. 25
After being drafted into a brand new co-ed pro baseball league, Sagiri is assigned a secret bodyguard named Yuzuriha, who doubles as a fake girlfriend for her. She’s excited for the chance to show her abilities and play in the league. Sadly, her new fake girlfriend isn't one she sees eye to eye with, and she's been placed near the bottom of the batting order. Sagiri resolves to still do her best in her first season in this new league.
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dreamties · 1 year ago
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for a writer, i sure do make a lot of incomprehensible posts on here 💀
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poobit · 3 months ago
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i have many thoughts on how Mouthwashing handles the themes of abuse and the symbolism around it especially as a survivor ... im not gnna hold back so -
first of all i think since its clear the point Jimmy is dismissive of Anya´s personhood and his perception is warped towards what he does as a Captain rather than what he does as a man, it makes sense she doesnt get her own labyrinth or such , i cant argue around that because its realistic he´s so male focused he cant even bother to truly think about what he did to her, i would love it if Wrong Organ decides to do a side story vignette of her own perspective and view in the future if the game proves its successful enough for side content like that.
Assault is something usually not handled with subtlety in games, i think what struck me the most was how real the dialogue of her coping and suicidal ideations and how Curly responded to it felt , the dancing around the subject, the deflection, the "whats next" of the ever impending consequence of pregnancy, how Anya pleads for help from the person she trusts but nonetheless a man unequipped and too emotionally attached to the abuser to be able to confront him, its so real, Curly´s lack of initiative is something Jimmy fully takes advantage of the moment things dont go his way, he turns everyone against him even as a helpless body on a bed because he needed to be in control of the situation, thats what abusers do.
A more sensationalistic game would have easily played Anya´s helplessness and assault for shock for sure, because it would be easy, she is the archetypical victim trope, shes modeled in Wendy Torrance likeness from The Shining, shes meek and unsure of herself and Jimmy shoots her down from the very beginning to make her feel unqualified and cornered, but the furthest the games goes is making Jimmy terror towards the pregnancy and the baby as a boogeyman that crawls and tramples over him. No sights of bleeding legs or her crying or screaming and much less present objectification of her body (which is something that i always think the horror genre has such a struggle not grabbing onto, sexuality is mostly always played up in assault stories especially if the victim is an adult woman), she remains a fully clothed figure and maintains the agency to her own demise, away from Jimmy and beside Curly, which is tragic and obviously still a symptom of horror´s proclivity to back female characters into corners of self inflicted punishment, but the alternative would have been that sooner or later, Jimmy would have killed her.
Its clear to me that the game used Curly´s state as a way to put a barrier between Jimmy and Anya, we dont objectify Anya, but we objectify Curly, Anya doesnt just feel pained and unable to handle Curly´s medication because shes in a sensitive state, her comments about his noises and such draws a line between her trauma and her perception of things as Her fault, she cant handle hearing his struggles and cries trying to swallow a pill because it reminds her of her own helplessness, so she leaves the task to Jimmy, someone who has no qualms in forcing someone down, the emphasis of every treatment as a repetitive process and the sound design is all very poignant and for me, a great way to handle assault as a metaphor, Curly did not consent to being in this position, it is very much still Jimmy´s fault and the fact that Jimmy is basically keeping him alive against his will even to the last moment of the game says everything, Jimmy doesnt love Curly the same way he doesnt love Anya.
The horses are not lost on me, i think horses as animals are often seen as "viril" symbols, strong and often volatile, they can be often hard to mount but when one does the rider and animal are seen as this one all powerful entity, like centaurs, which also carry symbolism of assaulters mind you, so while maybe not intentional on the dev´s part i think it still points to the Horse as a symbol still important in the game, the only spoken audio lines of dialog come from the Pony Express mascot Polle itself, and they are the first to actually confront Jimmy´s self centered line of thought and over-focusing on Curly, if the Tulpar is akin to a beast of a burden then Jimmy beat the dead horse way long ago.
All in this to say that Mouthwashing was a really good experience and i really hope the dev team is interested on expanding a bit more on it because i trust their vision.
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