#feeling grumpy because i haven't had time to write in like. three days.

[sparrow-in-the-field]

Why are work weeks 5 days. Do you know how much more fic writing I could get done if I had a three day weekend? Someone should fix this.

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 1❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit. Nonsense from me: A spontaneous Christmas mini-series. We'll see how it develops... I hope you will like it 🩵🖤 P.S. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I don't know if there's any equivalent to our Christmas… let's just say there is and I'll try to find out to be sure😅 Word Count: 3k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Oh saints, I'm freezing here." Fedyor complains as he walks next to you through the snowdrifts.

"Don't be such a grump." you say, adjusting your black fur coat that protects your neck from the cold wind. You look at the sky. The clouds were swirling above you, and the snow was still falling. In moments like these, you kind of wish you were Inferni.

"Grumpy? We had been walking around, searching for this stag, the whole day. I start to doubt if that tracker can find it."

"That tracker had seen it." Mal's voice is coming behind you. You turn to see him helping Alina walk through the snow. "It had to go somewhere to await the snowstorm."

"We should do the same." you tremble as you hear General's right behind you. You feel his warm body and beating heart before he stands next to you. "It's getting worse with each hour. We should go back to camp." he says, looking at Ivan.

"Yes, sir." Ivan who came with him nods to him and looks at the rest.

All of you are following him. You see Zoya and the general talking to him about something in the front. Mal and Alina whisper something quietly to each other. The tracker looks distrustfully at the three Grishas in front of him. You decide to stay with Fedyor a little after them.

"Lovers' quarrel?" you ask him as you see him trying to stay as far away from Ivan as he can. He also has not looked at him even once since you all got together after hours of searching Morozova's stag.

"You can say that. I want to go on holiday with my family and take him with me. He refused... well, it's putting it mildly."

"He needs time. I'm sure he will gladly come with you to meet your cousins and siblings." you defend him.

You know very well that Ivan wasn't necessarily eager to leave the Little Palace. He rarely saw his family. Like you, he didn't have many... people in his family who accepted him as Grisha. Fedyor was lucky to have someone to write letters to and visit during the holidays. Ivan was also more conservative; he did not engage in closer relationships with people, except for his fiancé.

Just like someone else you know...—you think, staring at the back of the general's head.

Snowflakes fall on his black kefta, making it even harder for you to take your eyes off him. You stopped counting the number of times you just wanted to go up to him, run your hand through his hair, hug him while simultaneously hiding in his black kefta, or kiss those temptingly soft lips that gave orders to thousands of soldiers.

The beating of his heart has become wonderful music for you to work with since you somehow became his second-in-command and started to spend more time with him in the war room.

It also worsened your crush on him… but it was a sacrifice you could bear for the sake of Ravek and Grishas.

"I hope so. I haven't seen them for a year. I wanted to finally introduce Ivan to them. Especially after our engagement." he sighs sadly, staring blankly at the footprints in front of you. You look at him sympathetically. As you notice snowflakes gathering on his shoulder, you think of an idea to make him laugh and maybe feel a little better.

You stand for a moment and bend down to your shoe, pretending to try to tie it. Fedyor stops and waits for you, his eyes patrolling the area and the forest surrounding you. You weren't that far from the capital, but some of Drüskelle's unit could always show up. You take advantage of his moment of inattention, form a snowball, and throw it at him.

You laugh quietly as the snowball hits his back. Fedyor gives you a surprised look before smirking and accepting the challenge. You silently throw snowballs at each other from behind, trying to stay silent enough so that no one notices what you two are doing.

At one point, you dodge a snowball thrown by Fedyor, causing it to hit Alina. The Sun Summoner turns towards you and lets out a small huff of laughter as he sees the two of you covered in snow. He nudges Mal with his elbow, and soon the four of you are left far behind the others, throwing snowballs at each other.

You laugh as you form teams against each other. You and Fedyor do quite well against them... at least until, instead of throwing a snowball at Mal's face, you manage to hit General Kirigan, who seems to have noticed your absence and come back to find you.

You all freeze, watching the snow fall from his face onto the kefta. Beside him, Zoya tries her best not to burst out laughing. Ivan, on the other hand, gives the four of you an irritated, disbelieving look.

"Ten minutes… we can't let you out of our sight for ten minutes," Kirigan says, wiping his face with a handkerchief and brushing away the remaining snow from his face.

"Our apologies, General." Fedyor says, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his face straight.

"Whose genius idea was it?" he asks, hiding his handkerchief and brushing off the excess snow from his black coat. To no avail, judging by the snow still falling on you. But that didn't change the fact that he was as intimidating as he was in any setting.

You see Alina take a breath to take the blame, but you cut her off before she could. "My, sir. I wanted to lighten the mood. I apologise; it won't happen again. We won't delay our return."

Your remorseful look and tone of voice make him relax. His stern gaze softens, and you can practically hear Fedyor teasing you about it.

"Just don't get left behind." he says and turns on his heel, leading you all again back to the camp.

Zoya stares at you, surprised at how smoothly you managed to pull off something like insulting the general of the Second Army by throwing a snowball at his face. However, she quickly comes back to her senses and tries to catch up with the general to talk to him about something. Ivan, on the other hand, just shakes his head and wordlessly follows the Black General like his shadow.

"Seriously? If it were me, he'd tear me apart just by looking at me," Mal grumbles to himself.

"Don't worry so much. He would do it to anyone. He has a soft spot only for Y/N. Well, and maybe Alina, since she is one-of-a-kind." Fedyor says quietly and pats him on the back. Alina snickers and takes Mal's arm as they both follow the trail of the three Grishas. You roll your eyes at your dear friend's words.

"Stop it. It's ridiculous. Don't even insinuate something like that. With Zoya and Alina in the picture, I mean nothing more to him than a soldier, his second-in-command. At best, a friend."

"Sure. The beating of his heart every time you look at him is an obvious clue that this is the case. Besides, you've seen yourslef. You are the only one who can hit him with a snowball and stay safe and sound. He didn't even raise his voice at you. The two of you are so damn obvious and so damn stubborn that even if you ended up in bed together, you both would consider it an accident."

"Oh, shut up." he laughs, hitting me on the arm with his.

"What? Why do you think he made you stop your training as a healer and decide for you to be a heartrender instead of making you a main healer? You would have stuck in an infirmary far away from him. That way, he sees you often, plus you have black embroidery on your kefta." he says and winks suggestively. You huff in amusement, shaking your head.

"You are ridiculous. We work together. That's all. There's nothing more between us. At best, it's camaraderie. Besides, he can have anyone."

"But he wants you. Do you think he gives flowers to everyone on Women's Day? Or does he buy birthday gifts? Does he even remember about someone's birthday?" you blush, you feel your cheeks turn the bloody color of your kefta and it's not because of the cold.

"I remember him wishing Ivan a happy birthday." you mutter under your breath.

"Because he was standing next to us when I gave this idiot a gift." he says, obviously still angry at his fiancé.

"Give it up. Him and I—it's not going to happen. He's a womanizer. Zoya is not his first mistress. And I am definitely not his type or league."

"Well, now that you've brought it up... little birdie told me that he cut off all non-Army relations with her. And guess when? When you became his second-in-command. And guess who he pushes away, despite the fact that she's desperately trying to get back into his bed?"

"It does not matter. He probably has his eyes on Alina and wants to make a good impression."

Fedyor groans in annoyance at your response. Before you know it, you're back at camp, with no trace of the rest of your companions. The man next to you sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair.

"If you keep fighting it for so long and denying it, which makes no sense by the way, then yes. He'll find someone else. Take the opportunity before you regret it. Christmas is coming! Maybe some miracle will happen that will make you both see that you have to end together, because only saints can make the two of you see things together, you stubborn donkeys." he says and leaves you alone, going saints know where.

You sigh, walking back to your tent. However, before you strip off the layers of clothes that protect you from heat loss, you notice that you have no firewood. You go back to the forest and collect twigs and small logs of wood that you can use to light a fire at night.

You go back to camp, dragging a small wood sled behind you. You think about Fedyor's words and whether they might actually turn out to be true. You blush as you remember the countless late nights spent in the war room talking to the general about plans, reports, new recruits, or just drinking his kvass with him and talking about anything and everything. It's true, you were close... but would you be willing to jump in and risk everything—your entire career and the life you created in the Little Palace—to try to be more to him than just one of his soldiers? Especially when he could have had a Sun Summoner?

Lost in your thoughts, you don't notice familiar, dark shadows starting to swirl behind you. You scream in shock, both from the feeling of someone suddenly pulling you into his chest and from the fact that the skin on your neck and face meets the icy snow.

General Kirigan's laughter, the familiar scent of his cologne, and the warmth emanating from him calm you enough to realise that you are not in the arms of anyone dangerous. Well... if a shadow summoner could be considered such. But the coolness of the snow he rubs into your face and neck effectively shakes you from thoughts of him as you try to fight back.

He chuckles and holds you tighter with one hand as you kick and struggle in his arms.

“A good soldier knows when to surrender, Y/N.” he whispers into your ear, clearly amused. His silky tone of voice was as mischievous as it was slightly defiant and dangerous. "Shouldn't you have enough honour to obediently endure the punishment of your general?"

"Punishment? What for?" you ask as you manage to wipe the snow off your face enough to keep it from sticking in your mouth as you speak.

"Do you think I would let your little stunt get away with it? I wonder if you can still throw so accurately with snow in your kefta…" he says, slowly scooping up more snow and guiding his hand with it under your coat.

"NO!" you scream, amused and scared at the same time.

You use your powers to stun him for a moment and pull yourself out of his arms. You don't get very far, though. His shadows chase after you, and he keeps you tightly against his chest again. You struggle with him so much that you both fall screaming into a large snowdrift.

You land on top of him, blushing furiously as you realise this. The snow around you cools you a little, and you start to feel the cold seep into your bones despite everything.

"Armistice?" you ask him, your hand full of snow ready to attack.

He chuckles, amused, which only makes your smile widen. You had rarely seen him so… carefree. Especially now that he was so focused on finding Morozova's stag.

"For now. I will still look for my revenge." you whine, dissatisfied.

"It was only one snowball, Aleksander. I wasn't even aiming at you!" you protest. You squeak, surprised, as he switches, so now he is on top of you. A dangerous smile played on his face as he looked at you with a mischievous spark in his dark eyes.

"You think so?" he asks with a cheeky smirk, the hand holding the snow coming dangerously close to the buttoms of your kefta under your coat.

"All right, you won! Please don't. I'm freezing."

He frowns when he hears that you are cold. He lets go of the snow and wipes his hand on his coat before touching your cheek. He sighs, feeling how cold you are. He stands up first and helps you up, still watching you carefully.

"Let's go back to the camp. I wouldn't want my second-in-command to get sick because she decided to play in the snow" he says, and you blush slightly.

He only makes you redder by taking your hands in his and breathing warm air on them. You see the nostalgia in his eyes, and you can't help but ask him a question.

"What is it?"

"It's just... it's been so long since I did it. The last person I threw snowballs with was my sister. It feels like... centuries ago." he whispers thoughtfully, not letting go of your hands.

Unconsciously, he starts drawing patterns on your hands with his thumbs. You see him going back to his memories. How his eyes darken with sadness, even hurt. You don't know what must have happened to make him so depressed, but you feel the inner need to fight off all his worries just to see his smile again—the gleam of joy in those dark, hypnotising eyes.

"Well… maybe you can do it again? After all, the holidays are coming. You'll definitely want to visit her. Or she you." you say, choosing your words carefully. He didn't talk much about his family. Even his name was a big secret. And from your information, as long as it was good, you were the only one who knew it.

"It's a little more complicated." he says it gruffly and pulls away from you. You curse yourself in your mind, not even knowing what you did wrong. "Neither of us sees anything... special about it."

"You don't have a family meeting? Never?"

"We're not close. I don't remember when was the last time we got together. Not to mention something as insignificant and trivial as all this exchange of gifts, celebrations and prayers to the saints." he replies, pulling your sled of wood as you both walk back to camp.

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so you change the subject and ask about the next steps in his plan to capture the deer, and he perks up a little more.

Little does General Kirigan know that you're half-listening to him, thinking about something entirely else. The distant look in his dark eyes when he talks about his family—that hidden longing for something he pretends not to want—tells you one thing.

You will make sure he feels different this year. You will do everything to replace his clearly unpleasant memories with harshness from his loved ones, memories he doesn't want to share with something better.

"We'll discuss the details in my tent tonight. I hope you don't get sick. We don't have time for any delays. We have to finally catch that damn stag by the end of the year at the latest. Although our only tracker who saw it will keep hanging around the Summoner Sun instead of tracking, I don't see it well." he says, and anyone else would find his words harsh and irritated, but you've long since learned that his eyes are the true reflection of his feelings and emotions.

The one thing he couldn't control. He gives you the rope of the sled, and before he leaves you, he ties his scarf around your neck, mumbling something about how you don't know how to pack the most necessary things for the mission.

You go back to your tent and light a fire. After a while, a fabricator comes in and hands you black leather gloves without saying a word. He's gone before he can see you smiling and blushing, realising WHO told him to make them for you.

You shake your head, trying to get past Fedyor's teasing words from the hours ago. It's just a friendly gesture. Nothing more.

But this is the moment when you make your final decision.

You will see the general again, as happy and carefree as he was a few moments ago. So relaxed and calm as he deserves to be, at least in this time of year...

Even if, along the way, your stupid heart had to completely and hopelessly fail for a man you could never have.

Thank you! 🩵🖤🩵🖤

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

[morerandombullshit]

Feeling Dysphoric (Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader)

Rating: T Pairing: Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader Word Count: 697 Summary: You're feeling dysphoric about your chest because you haven't gotten top surgery yet so your introverted boyfriend tries to comfort you CW: Dysphoria, also my brain has designated Crosshair a secret softie under the grumpy exterior so here y'all go it's some softie Crosshair Note: As a (sadly) AFAB nonbinary person myself with the same issue (even though I have been called flat a few times but hey, accidental validation?), this felt right to write, and I also need a healthy dose of fluff with Crosshair in it for no reason

Also random thing I was listening to the Undertale soundtrack as I was writing this and that shit's a fucking vibe bro

Every time. Every fucking time you look in the mirror or have to look down at your chest, that long-familiar dread fills you up. 

You'd already consulted a doctor about top surgery, and you were waiting to see what they'd say. For three months. Even at the beginning, your dysphoria had never been this bad. Maybe it's the anxiety about the call being mixed in, but you aren't sure. You're just scrolling through some random feed on your phone when you feel a kiss to the top of your head, and you smile despite your earlier gloom. "Hey. Done with your nap?"

You would've joined Crosshair for his nap—and his cuddling, which despite his grumpiness, he gives really good cuddles—but you're so wired with anxiety that you can't sleep. "Yeah." he mutters, voice taking on a drowsy quality from being asleep for so long as he puts his head on your shoulder. "You should've joined me. Spotter did, and she snuggled up to my side."

Spotter is your guys' cat—a two-year old female calico with amber eyes and a bit of a vocal disposition. She's also really cuddly and despite Crosshair's initial grumbling about getting a cat, you and him both know he loves her to death. "That sounds nice." you reply, a little listless. "You get the call yet?" he asks, seemingly picking up on your gloom. He's been with you every step of the way for this, and has become the number one supporter of your gender identity, unlike the bigots and sycophants from your high school days. 

You sigh a bit as you shake your head. "Not yet." you mutter, a little dejected, before feeling silky fur in your lap. You look down, being painfully conscious of your chest, and you smile as Spotter settles down. Her purring settles you a bit as you pet her soft fur, though it doesn't do much. Crosshair hums a bit and takes his head off your shoulder. "I'm gonna go make us some ramen." He runs a soft hand along your jawline before going to the kitchen. "Be right back."

After about four minutes, he comes back with two packs of ramen (those pre-made containers) of your guys' favorite spicy beef ramen, along with forks. Spotter's still in your lap, so it's a feat to make sure she doesn't eat your ramen. Crosshair hands you your container and you smile a bit, as you dig in and he sits beside you. "Bones marathon?" he asks.

"Bones marathon." you agree. Bones is your guys' favorite show, and you're currently on season 8, episode 6 out of 12 seasons. You grab the remote, he puts an arm around you, and tucks you close to his side. You guys stay like this for a few hours, binging, cuddling—Spotter moves to a space between your bodies where there's the most body heat—and finishing your ramen. When your phone buzzes with a call in your pocket, you pause the episode, grab it and pick up. "Hello?"

"This is Mx. Y/N L/N, right?" the doctor's voice has you almost dropping your phone. "Y—yeah, that's me." you stutter, anxiety ratcheting your pulse up and making your leg bounce. 

"Sorry it took so long to get back to you on your consultation about top surgery, but we have an opening."

Your jaw almost separates from your face. An opening. "F—for real?" you ask, trying to make sure you're in reality right now. The doctor chuckles good-naturedly on the other end of the line. "Yes, for real. When are you available for an appointment?"

After the whole appointment planning stuff, you hang up with end-of-call pleasantries. Crosshair looks at you, a small smile on his face—besides, his smiles are only common for you and for Spotter. "You got it?" he asks. You smile back and nod, and he leans in to press a quick, soft kiss to the tip of your nose. "I'm happy for you, babe." he murmurs, this being one of the rare times he uses a pet name for you.

You hum and put your head on Crosshair's shoulder, petting Spotter as you resume the Bones episode you guys are on.

[annas-hair-donut]

My Favorite 2023 Fanfics

Instead of posting a master list of the fics I published in 2023, I'm just going to give you some of my favorites.

Knock on Wood (Kristanna, T)

“So, like, I’m not really a superstitious guy or anything, you know? But I saw this girl, right, and I’m about to ask her to dance.” He strummed a few times before stopping the strings with his hand and knocking three times on his guitar. “I don’t know, I figure every little bit helps. Couldn't hurt anyway.” A few people clapped and whistled as he strummed the opening to a song Anna hadn’t heard before. Then he smiled. “Maybe y’all can 'Knock on Wood' for me, too.”

I wrote this one for the FHWM Friday the 13th event. It was really fun because I got to set it in a time and place that is near and dear to my heart and I haven't seen many similar AUs. It's also a song fic, and I just had so much fun with it.

Pretty Please (Kristanna, E)

“Show me how bad you want it, Kristoff. Show me how bad you want me to spank you.” “You think I only want to sink my tongue into your $!@# so you’ll spank me?” His smile made her heart flutter as much as his words, but she tested him anyway. “Pretty men say pretty please.’” “You think I’m pretty?” he asked, each word punctuated by a sloppy, wet kiss on her thigh, "when I wear my lace panties?" When she didn't answer, he looked at her with lifted brows and puppy dog eyes. She cupped his cheeks and said, “You're not pretty, Kristoff; you're very pretty."

I wrote this one for the BDSM Exchange. It's not for everyone, but it's probably my favorite fic I've ever written (of all time).

Waffle Waltz (Kristanna, T)

Anna travels to Tromsø, Norway to attend her sister Elsa's wedding, and ends up renting a room with Bulda and her grumpy and resentful son Kristoff, who is the king of waffles. 1. Waffle, Noun: (1) A soft indented cake cooked in waffle iron; (2) Empty or pretentious words 2. Waffle, Verb: (1) Equivocate, vacillate; (2) To blather

This was for the Candy Hearts Exchange. It involved a ton of research and drew on my own knowledge of/experience with folk music and dance, and I consider it to be one of the best (quality-wise) fics I've ever written. I also really love the fun relationship between Anna & Hans.

Hey, Little Girl (Kristanna, E)

Loner Kristoff gets hired by cheerleader Anna’s parents to teach her how to drive because they’ve lost all patience with her. She isn’t what he expects, though, and when he realizes the feelings he’s been harboring for years are reciprocated, he lets down his guard. Then one thing leads to another... and quite possibly the hugest mistake of their lives.

This started as a driver's ed lesson and ended with a prom for Kristanna School Days. In between, I wrote Kristoff probably the most conflicted and tormented I've ever written him (other than Sophisticated Grace). And it was all set to songs by the Ramones! It really has it all, fluff, angst, high school drama, teen pregnancy, first times. Also some of the OCs were really cool.

The Chaise (Gaston x Adam, E)

Adam debates buying a small chaise longue at his local antique shop until he finds out it comes with an extra large delivery man.

I wrote this for my a friend, and TBH I'm still completely tickled by it. Adam seduced Gaston through flattery and it was just so much fun to write!

The Moment I Bit My Lip (Kristanna, E)

Anna shivered as she packed her suitcase. It was winter, the furnace was broken, and they’d run out of firewood. And Kristoff had run out of time. Based on "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande ft. The Weeknd

This was a reader request. It was a huge challenge because I tend to write more female-dominant stuff and the song lyrics screamed Kristanna, but at the same time didn't really fit with the kinds of things I usually write. So I had to get a little creative and I absolutely love that. Anyway, I came up with one of the coolest AUs I've written and I absolutely adore this piece.

Boom, Clap! (Kristanna, E)

A sharp pain sears across Kristoff’s face from the force of Anna’s hand slapping him to the present. Stars twinkle just inside his field of vision as he rubs his cheek, and his heart beats faster in excitement. He hasn’t felt this good in years. Until an irate voice says, “What the fuck?” Anna stands in front of him, angrier than ever, and he smiles a little more. “You think that’s funny?” she asks. The correct answer is no, of course, but the right answer is that he’s elated. He looks down to hide the smile he couldn’t make go away. That’s when he sees his brace and remembers his injured leg. The only pain he feels, though, is on his cheek. “I had it handled,” she says and shows him the red rhinestone-encrusted mace attached to her keychain, which her thumb sits on top of. He grins, and says, more bravely than he would have had he not been floating on Cloud 9, “Or you could just slap me again.” Her red lips slowly curve into a cat-like smile. She folds her arms and coolly leans against the wall. Her eyes glitter with mischief, and she purrs, “Well, now you’ve got my attention.”

I wrote this for Smut Week, but it's so much bigger than that. It was a monumental task writing about Kristoff, a war-injured vet, and Anna, the woman that uses pain to take away his pain, but so rewarding as their relationship turned into something so much bigger than h/c for them. It's two people bringing out the absolute best in each other, Kristoff healing in a way he never thought he could, and discovering that he was worthy of giving and accepting love. It's one of the most meaningful things I've written.

Rain Check (Kristanna, E)

Newly divorced Anna goes for a walk to work off some pent-up energy, but gets derailed by rain, a good Samaritan’s garage, and some really great D.

Another Smut Week fic, a follow-up to a cute little one-shot I wrote for myself last year (Future's So Bright, T) and wanted more of. I really love the way Anna and KB love each other. And Anna really goes for what she wants, but ultimately chooses herself and what she needs. I like this AU so much that I did a follow-up fic (Here Comes the Sun, E) and I'm also planning a 30+ multi-chap fic tentatively titled "And If I Change My Mind" to be published hopefully in the next few months.

Valentine Bear (Rydoff, T)

Kristoff gets some unexpected help setting up the Peeps Valentine's Day display at Weselton's Grocery Store when Anna, the assistant manager--and Kristoff's best friend--assigns Ryder to assist. Will Anna's Cupid's arrow strike Kristoff's heart? Or will it knock him down, along with his display?

I had this idea of Kristoff playing with Peeps and using his fake voice to talk for them. Who else talks for Peeps? Ryder of course! It's such a fun concept and I loved writing for them so much that I wrote a short multi-chap sequel (Mint Jelly and Onion Jam). Oh, and I got to explore Anna & Kristoff as adorable best friends and Anna/Hans (Alive and Burning Brighter), also a first!

Behind Adjoined Doors (Kristanna, E)

After seeing her recently engaged ex at her cousin's wedding, Anna sneaks through the adjoining door of her hotel room to have meaningless sex with Kristoff - because it’s not possible to fall for someone you can’t stand, right?

I wrote this one for Smut Week and it still tickles me. Cocky Kristoff is just so... he's a bro. Sort of. At least it seems like he is. And Anna has to open her eyes (and her legs) to see the diamond in the rough hiding right next door.

What's up for 2023? I'm working on a Kristanna Valentine's Day fic (short multi-chap), finishing up All Tied Up and Head Over Feet. Chugging along with The Refugees, and my new upcoming long fic "And If I Change My Mind," set in the Bandana AU.

[goblin-face-sucker]

grumpy shit under fold

Feeling so fucking crushed tbh. Maybe it's the 2:30am insomnia (which isn't that bad I know). Maybe it's the general feeling of having Too Much to do.

I had like a genuinely really positive day at work - a client fed back how great I was, in front of my head of department. My juniors said they were happy how the project went. This is genuinely huge, because I love love this job, and I am still in probation and I want to pass.

And I tried to celebrate myself! And it gets met with "well duh of course you'll pass probation" like okay haha yeah probably but. I haven't sold anything in, and I'm about five skills behind everyone else on my level. I've never managed anyone before, and it's been over a year since I worked with advertisers directly.

Then we had a great MOTW game, but I felt like I was struggling with my character class cause it didn't feel like it fit the character I wanted play. The keeper said we could change characters at this point, so I was looking, and my friend was looming over my shoulder and I felt so pressured and stressed

I know it's really stupid to get stressed about a ttrpg. I like doing them with my friends, DND is amazing, but I am finding it difficult to relax at all right now, and feel loads of weird pressure.

I also just straight up can't fucking read - no glasses, no energy, and background noise of people talking and I literally stop being able to follow lines horizontally. I can read the individual words, but it's like my eyes won't move side to side anymore.

So I was like struggling to read the different options and I felt embarrassed about it, and they were looming and I love this friend but they can be Very opinionated about what other people should do so I was like "I'm just looking right now" like dude I'm sick, it's after midnight, I don't own a rulebook of this and I can't fucking read so it's taking all my energy. He gets rejection sensitive

So he leaves me, everyone is chatting, I'm looking. I decide now isn't the time and I can stick the class out and maybe the character will die soon, and I can start again anyway. It'll be fun.

But then everyone is like convincing me I should change?? And then my friend just says "you just can't be bothered"

And it just flicked the switch in my brain and now I'm lying awake in The Hole like

Yeah I'm lazy piece of shit.

There is so much stuff I haven't got done. And everyone knows. Like. I haven't painted the ceiling yet, or rode my bike, or cleaned the alleyway, or combined my pensions, or booked a holiday, or vacuumed the bedroom since last week, or changed the sheets, or sorted the laundry, or finished my privacy certificate at work, or emailed that client about their backfill, or worked on my novel, or contacted the Brighton writing group, or meal prepped that chicken, or been to the gym three times this week.

And people keep asking me, and I haven't done it, whatever it is, cause I'm a lazy piece of shit.

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

Dear Thalia (or should I say Pinecone Face),

You know what's worse than having dyslexia? Having dyslexia and bad eyesight and arthritis. But you wouldn't know, would you? Off topic, sorry..... I'm writing this letter because it's been a long time since we've talked. But, there's something else too. I haven't been feeling well the past few days.

Past few years, I've been understanding how Gary felt all those years ago, why he felt so grumpy. Right now, it's getting really worse. Every day, it's like my breaths are shortening. I can't get around the house anymore. I feel weak. And to be honest, as much as I would hate to tell annabeth and estelle who have been taking good care of me, I think I'm going to pass away soon. I know, I've said that many times throughout my life, but I think it's the right time. I think they know too. Annabeth has tears in her eyes whenever I see her. Estelle has been spending extra time lately, giving me soup and blankets, as if covering her own misery.

But, can I tell the truth? I don't feel bad. I feel...happy. From when I was little, people constantly told me I would die quickly and painfully. But here I am, a happy man with three kids and the most wonderful wife in the whole world. My best friends and I have grown old together and had kids, which is the best a demigod can get

I wanted to write this letter to tell you something and that is: Keep going. Keep having fun, hunting monsters and making the world a safer place to live in. Keep taking young girls under your wing. Tell them stories, stories of how you saved the world and my wife.

And thank you. For being there at my side when I needed your support most. Thank you for being the punk princess sister I always needed (do the kids say punk anymore?). This is my last goodbye before I head to Elysium, where I'll wait patiently along with charles, silena and jason for annabeth and the rest of the seven, and we'll have fun. But don't be sad: Hold fast, Pinecone Face. Love you forever, even if I'm not

Yours lovingly, Percy (Kelp Face)

Thalia doesn’t keep many things in the hundreds of years she’s been alive. 

But long ago, there were people, their names all but distant memories, who mattered in her 1st lifetime. It’s their things that stay hidden in her bag, reminding her of her mortal life. 

A blue hoodie, worn almost threadbare. The scent of its original owner, long since leached from the fabric. But if she closes her eyes, she can almost see the blue eyes of her first and only love. 

A pair of glasses. Frames cracked and crooked. A reminder of a brother she never got to truly know. 

A baseball cap. It’s magic long faded, branded with a forgotten logo. Memories of a blonde girl laughing hidden deep within. 

A letter. Ink fading, paper yellow. The last words of a dying friend. Words that wish her well, words that wished her well in a world they had fought side by side to save. 

Thalia doesn’t keep a lot of things, but even after all this time, Luke, Jason, Annabeth, and Percy will stay with her forever. The memories of her first family to remind her why life is so beautiful.

[daysuntilnextaccident]

the other day a person in my writing group and i had a minor metaphorical slap fight about what boiled down to a miscommunication.

and when we were all done and adults again, she reached out to me to tell me she really appreciated my attitude and positivity and that's great.

but she framed it in the context of 'because i know you're constantly in pain and your joints are grumpy all the time, and so it doesn't get you the wordcounts you want when we sprint together.'

and like

a) you're right sometimes it does interfere with my ability to focus and produce big number go up

b) and i cannot stress this enough I DO NOT WANT YOUR PITY.

and i want to deconstruct those both.

so on an average sprint of 25 minutes on a good day, my writing group pal will hit 700 words. i will hit 400 in a good round, 600 in an excellent round, 80 in an absolutely terrible round (usually when i have a fever or bad joints or the depression is kicking my ass).

but here's the thing: i'm not getting paid for this. and these are words that i am writing to explore a concept in a draft. all these words will be rewritten. every. single. one. will be replaced and remade numerous times throughout the process.

i don't give a FUCK how many words i have. i participate in sprints to keep us on task, because there's very few organized people in our writing group, and putting the time and words in regularly and encouraging other people to participate means that these people do not drop away, and eventually i will have a group of fellow writers that i can approach with a request to trade feedback.

this is saying nothing of the truth that everyone's circumstances are different.

everyone's process is different.

everyone's GOALS are different.

it's such a sanctimonious apples to oranges set of statements that it keeps welling up unbidden.

secondly.

haha. hahahaha. haha. once more for those in the back.

i. do. not. want. your. pity.

or anyone else's. i want to complain like someone would complain about the weather. "oh damn my hip is being a little bitch" delivered in the same manner as "it rained three times this week." because honestly no one can do anything about it at this junction. so putting a sign around my neck that says "oh huney i know you tried your best" is infuriating, demeaning, and fuckin ableist.

because i haven't tried my best. i've DONE my best.

my best is that i have kicked ass for the last 10 months since joining this group.

my best is that i show up for people in the group and try to cheer them on towards their goals without inscribing my own over them.

my best is that i have done 3 drafts in 10 months, including stopping midstride of one to fix an absolutely glaring problem in a completely different story.

my best is writing. even when the writing is hard. even when the muse isn't there. even when i don't feel like it.

my best is scraping out time between work and chores and my partner and myself to try to say something that i think someone else may want to hear.

and that's all any of us are there for.

[dailylumi]

Jan 5th

Well looks like I forgot to write the second part for yesterday but oh well we move on and don't think about it.

I think today was a better day overall than the past few days in all honesty. I mean it was still a mixed bag kind of day but the good really carried me through the day to be honest.

To start, I've been really sleep deprived lately and today was no exception. I slept somewhere between 6-7 but I forgot about ember's appt so I had to get up at 9 to take him. Feel like that was my own fault among my other issues with sleep and my avoidance of it. But yeah very off state as usual and while I wasn't grumpy I felt a bit sensitive and just overall dread this morning.

I already feel embarrassed writing this next part cause I know they read this SAKSLDJ

I think the main turn around for the day was a phone call with my bff. I don't know it just meant so much and was just so nice. They're such a grounding person for me and I'm always so grateful with just everything. I dont know just the phone call made me finally feel like time slowed down for a second and forget about everything for a little while. It's kind of ironic since the time went by so fast on the phone LMAO. Really it was the sense of connection for me through the phone call. I know that I am always connected with them and I bother them literally all day but mental illness and boundaries just makes me feel disconnected when I know that isn't it all.

I feel like that left me with a lot of serotonin and feeling of ease like I was okay for the day. I feel like they do that a lot for me :( I tried to make myself sleep but I couldn't really force it so I read manga until I passed out for like 40 minutes. It was really short and I felt more tired when I woke up but I think it's probably good I got a bit more rest.

The rest of today felt slow. I didn't know what to really do but I ended up cutting my hair since it has been a bit. I think I'm always frustrated with my hair. It feels like there is nothing I can do with it and Ive just had the same overall short hair style my whole life. If it grows past a certain point it just becomes too curly to manages and dries out super fast. I wish I could experience a different hairstyle but that feels like a reach both from logical standpoints and from my lack of self esteem on the matters. I feel like id just look weird doing something new. One day I should try dyeing it maybe I wanna try.

Thinking about the future there is just so much that feels overwhelming but at the same time I know I'm not completely alone regarding it. I don't really wanna talk about the things changing in the future but maybe my worries.

Ive been so worried about the future and meeting people. I am someone who is so bad at first impressions and worried about upsetting others. I know that I would try my hardest to get along and not cross lines with people but Ive begun wondering if any of my habits would cause any issues. I just don't want to be hated or do something off putting especially since I can be unaware of things at times.

On a separate but slightly connected note I feel like I should try to be more outgoing and form an actual friendship. I think I am still acting a bit stand offish and shy and thats because I really am but also like what if I am hated lmaoo I usually don't care if others hate me because I am mostly disconnected from people but it feels like I can't be like that right now. It helps nothing and my anxiety won't let me.

Sometimes I really wonder if I ever let myself breathe or am I just someone stuck in an endless loop of mental illness and self deprecation lmao

I'll never really know but I don't think the answer matters as long as I don't cause others to feel suffocated by my issues and presence.

I think tomorrow might be a bit of a better day. I might see a friend in person that I haven't seen in like 7 months. So that might be interesting.

Can't believe I'm on a three day streak of posting. Hopefully I can continue

[starlightval]

Hi! I wasn't sure if you took requests or prompt ideas or anything so please ignore this if you dont, but i absolutely freaking love your writing and was wondering if maybe you could so something on what loving Rooster is like or something soft like it?? can be as short or long as you like, i just need some more rooster fluff from the obvious queen of writing it 🥺💕

you. are. so. sweet 🥺 queen of writing fluff?? what an honor, i hope i can do this title justice <3 i haven't offically posted that i take requests or prompts but absolutely send them in because writers block can be such a pain! its super short more of a blurb than anything since im currently at work and wanted to get this out asap but i hope you love it angel

pairing: bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader

synopsis: loving rooster is so easy

warnings: n/a, just something super short and sweet

not edited!

masterlist

Loving Rooster was easy.

So, so unbelievably easy.

They said no one was perfect but if anyone were to come close it would be him. 

He was your safe place, your break from all of the worries in the world. Your best friend in every way of the word.

Everything you gave, he gave right back ten fold and he certainly wasn’t shy about loving you. Every chance he had, he openly expressed how much he loved you and appreciated you or showed you through little touches and actions. 

He didn’t care who was around to witness nor did he give a damn about what anyone thought. Not even when Hangman ultimately gave him shit about being whipped or acting like a girl in love, he simply brushed it off with a wave and said that Hangman was just jealous that nobody would put up with his ass. 

Sometimes you’d ask yourself if it was all good too good to be true. Burned too many times by guys of the past who played with your emotions making you feel stupid for wanting to cuddle up on them or even something simple like hold their hand in public.

But Rooster lived for things like that. He lived for your habit of kissing him every time you two parted even if it was just to go up the bar to grab another beer or how you always leaned into his side when you stood next to each other which prompted him to wrap his arm around your shoulder and the thousand watt smile you give him everytime you catch his eye? To. Fucking. Die. For.

Don’t even get him started on dancing with you, if he could do it forever he would. Everything from slow dancing and it feeling like you’re the only two people in the world to flailing around like idiots together nearly doubling over with laughter at the ridiculousness of the others move is his favorite.

And your affectionate nature works out well for him because this man can’t go two seconds without having his hands on you honestly and needs at the minimum three kisses a day from you to be able to function properly but thats a whole other thing. 

If you’re walking together your fingers are interlaced, never just holding because that’s not intimate enough 'I’m your boyfriend not your friend honey' or his hand is at the small of your back leading you through whatever crowd you may be in.

If you’re sitting next to one another and he can’t wrap his arm around your shoulders then you bet your ass his hand is at least on your thigh and he’s pulling your chair as close as he can to his. 

If he’s seated across from you? You guessed it, he’s going to try and play footsie under the table with you or at the very least have one of your legs pressed up against his.

And good god do not even think about leaving him when he’s sleeping. Man turns into a grumpy child and will one hundred percent drag himself out of bed to come find you, that is if you could even manage to break free of his bear grip in the first place. 

Bradley Bradshaw was truly a dream come true and you thanked whatever higher power had sent him into your life for him everyday.

[journeytodrawiii]

Are you named after anyone? Well, yes, kind of. My first name is the name of the siren of the river Rhine. My middle name is also an amalgamation of my grandmother and godmother's middle names.

When was the last time you cried? Last week. Grades and various assignments stressing me out, mostly.

Do you have kids? No, I don't. But I would love to one day, I think. Either way, I won't have to worry about that for a long while. My dog however is like my little baby and I love him very very much.

What sports do you play/have you played? When I was a wee thing I did ballet for a while, and then — after all of my friends went away — I tried gymnastics, which I happened to really enjoy. They wouldn't advance me however, no matter how good I got, because I didn't speak Dutch at the time. Now I'm fluent, take that suckers. Anyway, after quitting that I joined a swim team (for racing). I eventually left because my fellow teammates were rather cruel to pick up snorkelling before encountering eye issues and having to get out of the water for a while. Then along came a tailbone issue I needed a surgery for and by the time I could get back in the water two years had passed. I haven't joined any sports teams since, it's been four or five years (I forget). But I enjoy playing badminton with friends, I walk often, I go to the gym on occasion and if I'm feeling really brave I go for runs.

Do you use sarcasm? No. Never. I totally, one hundred percent of the time am suuuuper serious. ;)

What's the first thing you notice about people? Their energy, like their vibe. Not just in that moment, but from their overall mannerisms and outward appearance a rough idea of who they could be. I also notice shoes. Shoes can tell you a lot about a person, I think.

What's your eye color? Bright blue. I'm like that meme where people with blue eyes stare at you all the time like: O.O

Scary movies or happy endings? I LOVE me a good scary movie, some of that really freaky psychological stuff is toe die for. Happy endings are great, but I also love it when a story ends terribly. It just leaves a bigger impact most of the time.

Any talents? I'd say I'm really quite good with anything visually creative. Painting, designing, fashion, drawing. I do pretty well with that kind of thing, interior design too. I've been told I'm a good writer too. Languages come a bit easier to me than to others as well, words just stick easier and my feel for language is rather keen.

Where were you born? Maryland, U.S.A.

What are your hobbies? I love drawing and painting. Sometimes I make mini sculptures out of clay, but that is seldom. I write poetry and I'm working on a novel I've named "Exodus; Prologue" . On top of that I enjoy journaling, writing my accounts of any day I feel needs to be recorded. I collect materials for a scrapbook I've barely started... unfortunately. 😂 I just never make the time. I ADORE thrifting, and I like to go at least once every three months. I listen to music every second I can, exploring new artists and discovering new feelings. Speaking of the discovery of feeling, and self, I am part of a little philosophy club where we discuss whatever we like and occasionally debate topics of excerpts from famous philosophers. I play the piano, and I'm also learning bass and electric guitar. I enjoy singing, although I'm not great. Knitting is also something I've been interested in lately, but I haven't really made anything. Oh, I'm also in the process of making a short film starring myself and a few dear friends, and watching films and learning and absorbing is another passion of mine. And I've been learning Welsh and Spanish for a few months now. So, you know, I keep myself busy.

Do you have any pets? I sure do! My baby boy, Loki! He's a toy schnoodle (poodle and schnauzer mix). He'll be turning eight years old this year, he's becoming a grumpy old man, but I love him to death.

How tall are you? Pocket sized: 5'2" or as I'd say 160 cm

Favorite subject in school? Art and philosophy.

Dream job? I'd love to become a widely appreciated author one day, writing books. I'd also love to write and direct movies or TV shows. If given the opportunity I'd love to spend the rest of my life making art or acting, embodying art. That's who I'd like to become one day.

@echeveriaaa thanks for tagging me on this lovely post! It was fun to do!! Sorry for getting back so late, I've been absolutely swamped with tasks.

15 Questions for 15 Friends

Thank you @serpent-and-seraph for tagging me!!

Are you named after anyone? My first name is just something my mom liked, but I got a middle name after my aunt's (who was one of the kindest people ever and who means a lot to me, so it's nice to sort of have something from her with me at all times)

When was the last time you cried? Some time last week due to being stressed by exams. And watching the last episode of Inside Job. (Leave it to me to only be able to express sadness with the help of animated sitcoms)

Do you have kids? No, but I have a niece and a nephew who I adore unconditionally

What sports do you play/have you played? I've done martial arts for most of the last 10 years and enjoy the occasional football/volleyball game for funsies. At the moment I mostly do solitary exercise for my zoomies and mental health though

Do you use sarcasm? Noo, never. (wink)

What is the first thing you notice about people? I thinkkk the way they look at me. Also, hair.

What’s your eye colour? brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies that end happily.

Any talents? I have an affinity to Visual-Artsy-Stuff (even though I'm not the most skilled at it, but I suppose that is not the most important thing about it) and people tell me I'm good at listening

Where were you born? Northern Germany

What are your hobbies? drawing & painting, sports, reading, caring for my plants, walking around in nature and staring at cool animals/clouds/trees, singing (badly) when I'm stressed, going feral over movies/shows/other people's art, hiding in my room and get cozy (that counts right)

Do you have any pets? I have plants ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How tall are you? 5'4" / 1,65m

Favourite subject in school? Art and Biology

Dream job? Partly working as a neuropsychologist and partly in research (and secretly writing and illustrating insane little books)

Since I haven't been back on Tumblr for long, I don't really know that many people yet/anymore, so I'd like to use this to get to know some of you a little! If you're feeling like it !! :)

@deansgapjacket @secretlywingedphantom @marikacrea @chenfordsrollisi @journeytodrawiii @skylightangels

[asettledsky]

Top 9 Romantic Ships

I got tagged by @gay-and-tiredaf

So here's my Top 9 Romantic ships that are sorta kinda in order (well, the top three definitely, the others have wiggle room)

9. Jack Daniels

They'd be a lot higher on this list except I don't go looking for the content as much as I used to. They're hilarious though and they play off of each other so well. One of my Top 10 fics I would recommend to most people is called "Doctor Jackson's Diary" and it's hilariously slapstick and has quite a lot of sex in it.

8. JohnLock

If you could see my AO3 history it would have a frankly embarrassing amount of these two in various convoluted (and not so convoluted) scenarios that end up with them getting it on.

I regret nothing. Or maybe I do a little, which is why they aren't higher on the list.

7. JDox

I just really like the whole "The grumpy one loves the sunshine one" trope. Also John C. McGinley is a hottie.

6. Shassie

See above Re: Sunshine/Grumpy. Also these two just take the sassy up to eleven somehow. They're both so snarky. Everything about the show Psych is just great. There are so many good fanfics for this pairing, but I particularly like "The Dah-Ling Store It Yourself" series.

5. Chelley

I have a few reasons for this one. But by far is the fanfic "Blue Sky" by Waffleguppies, I cannot possibly tell you how amazing that fanfic is.

4. The Love Square

I'm not posting 4 gifs for you guys to get the point. I love all iterations of these two dorks. (Though not equally, Ladrian is definitely my favorite dynamic). I could write a few thousand word essay on why they're the most annoying couple of dorks in all of fandom though. Miraculous Ladybug is an infuriating show to watch sometimes. I stand by my theory that it was specifically designed to spawn fanfiction with it's design, which is all build up and no resolution.

3. Hellstrop

(Not me choosing the saddest part of their relationship as the most romantic gif available, whaaa?)

The only reason this one isn't #2 is because I haven't been into The Good Place for very long. I feel like, given enough time, it'll outpace Beetlebabes just because Silverfox Ted Danson is more attractive than Alex Brightman. (Yes I did say that, no I won't take it back). Also because of Michael's completely Adorkable personality.

2. Beetlebabes

3 ships for the price of 1. My preference being musical, movie, then cartoon as a distant 3rd. They are all very different dynamics. I love their relationship in the musical. Totally toxic, but somehow they're still the best thing that has ever happened to each other.

And our GRAND FINALE.....

1. Quodo

When I say the relationship between these two idiots is always in the back of my mind I am probably not exaggerating.

Never have any two grumpy middle-aged men had such belligerent romantic tension.

These two have the relationship and communication skills of people who had been married for three decades and then had a messy divorce but still have to work together so they choose to needle each other every day because they refuse to admit they actually still like one another.

[chengxians]

I truly am in deep with this hyperfixation and I am making it everyone's problem.

Yes! Please keep me updated when you get to that point because I want all of your perspective! Since I haven't read most of the book (just a few scenes to verify certain things) I wanna know if it's as chaotic in the books and if you liked the changes!

LWJ's individual arc is actually something I really enjoyed. WY did a really good job playing it out, from someone who believes wholeheartedly in the rules because his mother died for it so he has to because if he doesn't then does anything matter? and then WWX bursts through the door with like the most minimal but important rules and throughout the story, he learns the difference between doing what's right and doing what's just and when each has its place and its wonderful. I do think that LWJ definitely had more wiggle room to help but that's a convo for another time (and maybe a meta I might write later). And the three months in-between with JC where like JC is a sect leader of a pretty much dead sect and he still makes the time to search for his brother (which is like the 3rd time JC picked WWX over his sect) and he loves him. And then he watches them split and wonders why when they love each other. And knows that JC loves WWX. And LWJ loves WWX too. And there's so much!

I, too, adore W@ngChengX!an! There are so many ways they balance eachother! ChengX!an pre-canon and the angst during the SSC, W@ngX!an during Cloud Recesses, Zh@ncheng after WWX leaves and LWJ wants to learn more about WWX and just learns more about JC too (NHS knows all and introduces them bc I'm always a huge fan of the LXC and NMJ playdates with the baby bros), the three months in between, the 13-16 years in between! The jealousy, the angst, the potential! I could go on for days! (I'm actually planning to do an AllCheng agenda post with various ships and dynamics and ideas because while I can't write fic for shit, I can headcanon my days away).

Their perspectives balance out too! WWX thinks in the broadest perspective of what is Wrong and What is Right, JC is the mid-ground perspective of what are the long-term implcations in society, can it impact how we do other things and how can we plan around it and LWJ (now) thinks of the individual, based on their merit and who they are and becomes less judgemental as a result. I think that's mainly why I don't ship W@ngX!an as much as I could have. But the three of them together have way more going for it (also I have a very specific headcanon that WWX does the flute, LWJ plays the guqin and JC sings the lyrics for WuJi since I feel like a grumpy grape like him must be great at slam poetry and lyrics).

Maybe its because I know that they way my loved ones show that they care is because the question me. They care enough to confront me, to meddle, to ask, to let me rant and help me find my way to the choice that's best for me. So even in the most enabling and unhealthy fics I read, I always want that. The "I will side with you, always, but I want you to know my side too." The vulnerability of opening up and showing what the implications are. The messy fights, the yelling, the poking at soft spots is something I will always want to see.

Like one of my fav scenes is when JC confronts WWX before they decide to stage the fight for this reason! Like you see where their priorities lie and that they both have valid perspectives for the positions they're in but they come to the slow realization that they can't have it all. And WWX I think does want to leave, he doesn't want to pretend he's okay and he doesn't want to spend a second more fronting for the sake of YMJ because he's done enough, fulfilled his debts and he wants a little break before even attempting to come back home (Burial Mounds doesn't sound like a good long-term solution but I also don't think he expected to live long).

LXC is definitely an enabler but I think it's also similar to JYL's response to trauma. And he does like so much for LWJ because he put all his love for his parents and family on his brother (gives me a lot of Itachi and Sasuke vibes but less extreme and with less trauma). So, similar to JC and WWX, when LWJ tells him something in a sure tone, LXC believes it.

Like considering demonic cultivation and resentful energy are so harmful (look at the Nies), it would be like if you're brother came to you and told you that he did some crack and now has superpowers after disappearing for months and you believe him because if WWX told JC the stars were falling, JC would have run for cover without looking at the sky. Like, the amount this man trusts WWX is insane. It might have been despiration but also he knows if anyone can do it, it's his Shixiong. And every scene, he asks, he asks WWX to clarify, to let him know, to let him and I just can't with these boys.

Wang Zhuocheng will always impress me because this was essentially his break out role! And the intro scene where LJY mentions that JC killed WWX so why is he checking in MXY? The flashbacks with his family and how much he yearns to keep them together but we know that its gonna fall apart! And his interactions with Jin Ling (who also did an amazing job in the role) were perfect despite the actors being like one year apart in age! Just all of it was so good and I will never not be impressed!

Sorry for the essays! Just really excited about the Untamed and I have a lot to gush about.

this has been in my inbox for ages bc i just kept reading it over and over because op. (kisses your brain) Wow. your meta is actually so fucking good and i am sliding you five american dollars to continue sending me essays about anything and nothing

your characterization (perception of their characterization??) lines up perfectly with mine and tbh you put it in better words than i could. i just. i dont even have words for this bc im just In Awe that someone can word this good

im gonna post this without much comment and followers…..begging u to read this…..op’s brain is so so so big and i adore every single thing about this little essay

[dracosollicitus]

Fanfic Overview Review

Tagged by @aimmyarrowshigh

Tagging: @ashabellanars @glycerineclown @melanoradrood @brightboisterousbananas

and anyone else who wants to play!

How many works do you have on AO3?

239!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,539,517

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

If you count overlap, 20!

Star Wars (General)

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Marvel Cinematic Universe (General)

Captain America (Movies)

The Old Guard (Movie 2020)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Game of Thrones (TV)

Good Omens (TV)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

Eternals (Movie 2021)

The Mandalorian (TV)

The Witcher (TV)

WandaVision (TV)

Hunger Games Series - All Media Types

The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Supernatural

The Punisher (TV 2017)

Hawkeye (TV 2021)

Thor (Movies)

Emma. (2020)

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for?

Nope, I have no impulse control - if I want to write for a fandom, I do! My hyperfixation is now your problem, sorry

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let not time deceive you (you cannot conquer time) - 3436 kudos

Mise En Place - 3177 kudos

what did you bury before these hands pulled me from the earth (what were you digging) - 2727 kudos

What's Left of Kisses - 2697 kudos

Bending Space and Time - 2117 kudos

Which of your fics do you want more attention for?

My Shrunkyclunks fic, I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Dust ! I do have lovely feedback on it, and I appreciate all of it, but if I have to pick for this meme, it's that one. It's handsdown one of my favorite things I've ever written, and I really like how I characterized Modern!Bucky and Cap!Steve in this sad, post-Snap shrunkclunks. Also the imagery in it, I don't hate, which is rare for me.

(Also I somehow wrote it before the pandemic and yet captured the big mood of the pandemic, so, oops)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really, really try to, especially on WIPs. If a fic is finished and I don't respond, it's because it's not part of my regular writing cycle (update a chapter, bounce back to thank people for their comments from the last one, take a nap), and not because I don't super appreciate and treasure every single comment I get. I'm just a creature of habit!!! I respond to comments because I want people to know that I appreciate them taking the time to leave the comment, and I want them to feel like they've been heard! I think it makes people more likely to comment on fics (mine or otherwise!!) in the future!

What sorts of things do you normally write?

Whatever's rattlin around in this terrifying box o' mine. But also, uh, I'm probably going to write you a wild character based thing more than a conflict based thing. I try to ... do a three or four act structure on longer things. But. You've probably noticed that my conflicts are hella understated or painfully overwrought and it's bc honestly if I had my way all my fics would just be characters makin' out and bein' sad together and stuff.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The fic that I ended sadly that I intended to end sadly is the Hades & Persephone Zukka AU that I wrote (what did you bury). Because source material. I've always wanted to go back and write the sequel of them on their next seasonal cycle of spring/reuniting, but I also get grumpy comments and bookmark notes from people now and then about how I ruined their day with my sad ending. And then I get grumpy.

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?

First fic I ever wrote, only because it was the first fic I ever wrote. I don't really have a comfort zone, and if I do, I haven't left it. Ya girl writes .... what she wants to write. Someone else can psychoanalyze it. Just don't tell me what you find out.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've written a Hunger Games/Star Wars fusion AU where Poe and Rey became Finnick and Annie and it was absolutely intended as a commentary on how fandom views actors/characters ... but. I wouldn't say that it was "crazy" - it was just an odd crossover, probs. But, uh, as of characters from different fandoms crossing over and hopping into a different fandom fic ... not to my memory? Which doesn't say a lot.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I deleted a Poe/Rey collection of WIPs that I *did* finish, but I'll probably never post. Also, Something Brewing is one that I really do have planned out/a lot written for, but I am psychologically incapable of finishing it for some reason.

What are you currently working on?

A few things! Here's three of them:

somewhere or other there must surely be: a Shrinkyclinks AU where Bucky breaks Winter Soldier conditioning and rescues the Maximoff Twins; years later, a modern Steve becomes their art therapist

Roll for Initiative: a Geraskier AU wherein a modern!Jaskier accidentally sends himself back in time with magical dice during a game of DnD; he thinks he's dreaming, especially when he meets a big sexy Witcher who's a mid-level boss in his DnD game. Plot twist: all magical abilities and skills of a DnD Bard? Jaskier has them. Trust me when I say he is Too Sexy to have that much Power.

Burn, Butcher, Burn (10 Minute Version) (Jaskier's Version): I just finished the last chapter, and it will probably be posted by the time I post this meme in the morning! oops! But, in this one, a Millennial!Jaskier meets Witcher Geralt in the 21st century; they fall in love, Geralt keeps breaking Jaskier's heart, and Jaskier keeps writing songs. He's a Witcher Universe Taylor Swift.

What are your writing strengths?

When my brain isn't fighting me in a back alley over a scrap of focus like a duet of rabid raccoons mangling each other over a crust of bread, I can write a lot! And pretty quickly.

Is it good? Hm. Please refer to the above simile for reference.

What are your writing weaknesses?

This feels like a job interview. Um. I am a Pantser by habit and tradition. I have a vague idea of what I want to write, I write non-linearly, and I also write emotionally. I 100% refuse to write if I don't want to, and I don't care if that means I don't write for weeks on end; which means if the Vibe ain't there, the Vibe ain't there and neither is the fic.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent?

Secretly, it was Dramione fanfic in a journal I hid under my mattress. In my head, it was probably a HanLeia daydream fic. For the public consumption? It was actually a Kastle fic, but I deleted it in a panic very quickly. He brought her coffee. They touched mouths.

Most recent: The Witcher/Geraskier

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I really like I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Dust.

I also really like PS I Know, a 1950s Damerey AU from early on in the pandemic. The plot actually works, albeit melodramatically (but it's meant to be a melodrama, shrug), and, I think it has a nice structure that I wouldn't mind reading in a real, hard copy/bound romance novel.

What fic are you most proud of?

I'm the most proud of let not time deceive you (you cannot conquer time). I think it's a solid longfic that I wrote where I had a strong grasp of where I was going, and where the imagery lines up really nicely!! Also, I was writing it in the first autumn of the pandemic, and people's feedback was so kind and helpful. They gave me a really strong sense that I was creating something that meant a lot to them, and was helping them during a dark time. For that reason mainly, I'm quite proud of it.

[nancypullen]

Melons and Murders

We didn't do anything special on the 4th of July. Because only 30-something percent of Tennesseans are vaccinated and the Delta variant is unpredictable, we're still avoiding crowds. It sucks because I really want to enjoy a ballgame or a concert. Downtown Nashville broke a previous record by hosting an estimated 400,000 drunken idiots for an Independence Day celebration. What could possibly go wrong there, right? So we stayed home, grilled some brats, and watched tv while our neighborhood lit up like a combat zone. It was insane. After all of that grumpy complaining, I'm actually here to pay tribute to summer food. As far as I'm concerned, the absolute QUEEN of the summer is the Sugar Kiss melon.

This melon will change your life. I've never tasted anything so good. Don't be deceived into thinking this is just a cantaloupe. This is magic in your mouth. This melon tastes like it's been injected with vanilla and sugar. They're only in season for a brief part of the summer and we eat about three a week. Not even kidding. We get ours at Publix, even though I've seen and purchased them elsewhere, the Publix melons seem to be at peak freshness. I don't know if Kroger warehouses theirs before they're in stores or what, but the Publix melons are superior. You'll spot Sugar Kiss melons right away, wrapped in their distinctive blue mesh and set apart from the other cantaloupe. Get one (no, seriously, get two) and you can thank me later. It wouldn't be summer without watermelon. I buy one every Saturday, chunk it up and keep it in a big, lidded tub in the frig. When I come in from working in the yard, hot and sweaty, a couple of pieces of chilled watermelon cools me down faster than anything I could drink. Mickey says the same thing. It's always sad toward the end of summer when watermelon becomes scarce. I have some heirloom seeds from my Grandma Ethel's watermelon patch that I treasure, and I haven't had the courage to plant them. How silly is that? I'd hate to get my hopes up and have some stupid pest ruin everything. Anyyywhooo...back to watermelon. Aside from just eating it straight, I'm addicted to this combo.

Day after day, I drop chunks of watermelon into a bowl, sprinkle some feta and a bit of chopped, fresh mint leaves, then top it with a quick squeeze of lime, just a little. Holy moley, I hear angels sing when I eat this. The super sweet melon, the salty feta, the zing from the mint and the lime - it's everything a summer dish should be. It doesn't hurt my feelings that it's really pretty to look at too. Know what else I'm addicted to? Breakfast salads. I love breakfast, it's my favorite meal of the day. I would be content to eat a hearty breakfast and then just nibble for the rest of the day. Normally I'll dice up tomato and onion and get it sizzling in a skillet, then I'll throw in some riced broccoli.

Once that's cooked through, I season and scramble two eggs and pour that in - a few stirs with a spatula and I've got a bowlful of veggie eggs and a yummy breakfast. If you're so inclined and can spare the calories, add cheese or bacon or whatever floats your boat. It's delicious, low in calories and fat, offers plenty of protein and fiber, and will keep you full all day. Winner. Lately I've been throwing together a flavorful salad...spring greens, a quarter of an avocado, a tablespoon of feta, and a tablespoon of crumbled bacon. Super simple.

Then I spritz a pan with a little olive oil and fry an egg. I season it like crazy and plop it right on top of the salad.

When I cut through the egg it releases the warm, yummy yolk as a dressing and coats everything. It's a delicious, healthy breakfast. The mister and I are still working the Weight Watchers thing. It's so stinkin' easy and NOTHING is off limits. I'm on the Purple Plan because I don't like to log things, so I have a bazillion "free" foods but only 16 points a day. The items that cost me are fatty things like mayo and butter. As long as I eat clean and whole foods (even whole grain pasta is zero points for me!) I can finish every day with points to spare. A grilled chicken breast with roasted broccoli and sweet potato is a zero point meal. How simple is that? Of course, that doesn't mean I don't have treats. It didn't take me long to figure out that a macaron is just two points and totally worth it. I'm down 21 pounds and it's been embarrassingly easy to do. It's been a slow drip, pretty much a pound a week, but it's the easiest diet I've ever been on and I think I've tried them all. Sorry, I rambled. I promised melons and murder. The murder part is really more of a question for you. It's no secret that I'm a true crime junkie. My DVR history is frightening- Snapped, Cold Justice, etc. My reading list looks like I'm either planning or solving a murder. But I'm new to true crime podcasts. When I'm at my desk I like to listen to a murder or two, usually tuning into a Dateline series (the Mommy Doomsday episodes will blow your mind). I'm in the market for other podcasts though, so I'm asking for your favorites. You don't have to answer here, you can always send suggestions to njpullen@gmail.com - no need to create a Tumblr profile or any of that. Hit me with your favorites, My Favorite Murder? Anatomy of a Murder? Crime Junkie? Sword & Scale? Do tell! Gotta' go. It's time for me to trot out to the garden and pick more cucumbers and have a chat with the birds and squirrels. Summer is in full swing and I intend to enjoy these days. Besides, if I don't go out and get sweaty, I can't justify eating more melon. I have an agenda. I hope you're having some fun with your day. Stir up some giggles, even if you're just laughing at yourself. I used to write jokes on Post-It notes and leave them on the doors of bathroom stalls at work. I wonder how many pantsless people chuckled ? Go spread some sunshine and make sure you get some on yourself. Stay safe, stay well, stay sunny. XOXO - Nanccy

[arnieb95]

For the character asks: Weiss?

Starting with my favorite character I see... This is going to be long. 

My top three ships for the character

Whiterose is my number 1 RWBY ship!!! Frosensteel is pretty cute too. Other than that, I could honestly see Weiss as just staying single and dedicating her life to her work as a huntress and being with her friends. 

My three least favorite ships for the character

No offense to anyone, but I just don't like Whiteknight, Iceberg, or really any other Weiss ship. 

My biggest criticism for the character

I wish she had been more involved in the Atlas arc. I mean, she's the only main character from Atlas, so it would have been nice to see her doing more with and for her people. (Plus, it just would have been nice to have more screen time of her these last two volumes, especially more interactions with Ruby. V6 Whiterose, I miss you!) I understand that with limited runtime and the fact that V8 took place over like 2-3 days that other characters had to get the screen time they got, but I just miss seeing her. 

My favorite thing about the character

She LOVES her friends, or should I say, as she does to her own father (rest in pieces), "Not friends, family." I mean, just look at what she did in the V8 finale! Picking up Gambol Shroud and fighting against impossible odds, through her tears, to honor her friends who she thinks she has lost, and save those she still can.

She's just grown so much since V1, where she was just mean and very full of herself, though to be fair, she had a terrible childhood and lots of trauma from her family. Underneath that icy exterior though, she has a heart of gold and I just love her so much. 

Plus, I just love her character design. She's a short princess who will kick your butt into next week if you touch her friends, all while wearing heels and a "combat skirt."

A headcanon I have about them

She started singing because Winter once complimented her voice when she was a little girl, so did everything she could to improve so her big sister would be proud of her. Which is why she worked so hard at fighting too. 

Also, she definitely cried a lot when Winter left for the military, essentially leaving her completely alone due to Jacques's manipulations and abuse. 

Another one (what do you mean the prompt only asks for one?!?), I feel when she becomes a mother (I so want her to for this very reason), she's going to be super anxious about not wanting her little ones to feel unloved, so she'll just be the most affectionate mother ever. Despite this, her partner (please be Ruby), will have to very often reassure her she is doing a good job. 

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I'd say I'd give her a more supportive family because I just want her to be happy, but I think it's honestly because of what she went through that makes her so loving and protective of her found family. 

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

This is a tricky one for me, as I haven't thought too much about the fact she is Snow White (Weiss Schnee is literally German for it). Honestly, now that I am thinking about it, I see her father as the witch who poisoned her, making her cold and icy to everyone around her so he could manipulate her for his own ends,  and her friends, especially Ruby, as "waking her through true love's kiss" by their genuine care and affection towards her. Her friends also function as the dwarves, of course, though if anyone deserves the name Grumpy at times, it's Weiss. 

[cozyships]

Hc time?Hc time

1.Doom guy and you getting pizza after a stressful day 🥺🥺🥺!!!There is nothing he loves more. Like he is tearing through hordes of demons and he is like 'man I can't wait to go back to the ship with my beloved and eat some pizza..."

2.TALKING ABOUT DG HIS HELMET IS GOOD AT HIDING IT BUT HE BLUSHES REALLY EASILY. YOU CALL HIM HANDSOME OR CUTE?!BAM BLUSH!HE IS SO GLAD IT HIDES IT. HE IS SOFT

3.Saejima would totally think that his jacket looks super cute on you!!He will think of any excuse to lend it to you "You must be cold!Take my jacket!" "Dear, it's July" "Oh, right"

4.KAIDAN TRYING TO WRITE POETRY BEFORE. He has never had time for it before being a warrior and all but, he just loves you so much!!!He wants to try and express it!!!

5.Surprise this is for all three of them!!!I hc all these boys to get nightmares a lot because of what they have gone through but consider...cuddling you to sleep makes it all much better. Of course, they still do get them sometimes, but when they do, they take great comfort in you calming them down and reassuring them ♡.

I'm okay I'm fine I 🥺-

First of all you spoil me 🥺 ily/p

1. PLEASE the thought of him after a mission going to a pizza place like "hey you guys open? I'd like a pizza for me and my beloved."

'My beloved'... he l p

2. Yeah I totally agree!!!! He seems like he'd blush easy, but I also get the sense that his face is just always sort of grumpy looking (understandably). So he just gets a rosy tint and starts looking away all shy and maybe gets this small smile and it's probably so cute 🥺

But if I wore his helmet he can't hide it :3

3 .

(I believe this is from something called Tamen De Gushi, which I haven't read so Apologies if this is incorrect! You just reminded me of this ^-^)

THATS SO SWEET THOUGH?? Saejima coat.. It's probably warm and smells like him... tbh if he let me I'd wear it all the time!

4. I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEFORE ITS JUST??? AAA

He probably works on it for a long time and never feels satisfied with it, but if Noh accidently stumbled upon one he was writing (which they'd feel awful about) or he felt comfortable enough to show them one, they would absolutely cry 🥺

And they might shyly hand him a love letter they'd written for him, from a pile of drafts they had. Let's be honest, they're just as sappy as he is!

5. FRIEND I HOPE SO. They probably do suffer from nightmares a lot... I just want to be there for them. I hope I can help them 🥺