#feeling delusional

[simplylupin]

eddie saying "is that smoke?" upon walking into buck's apartment, bucks-apartment-burning-down-buddie-roommates truthers we are SO winning

[ch3rrybom666]

everlan and bluna endgame 🤞

[kiska-enthusiast]

feeling so normal about this picture

this is how he looks at you from across the room while you do some mundane task like folding laundry and all he can think about is how beautiful the little life the two of you created is

[pedrospartner]

i miss pedro pascal so much (i’ve never met him)

[swervestomp]

get ready to learn the lyrics to big pressure @/bryandanielson

[kenchann]

alexa play im not okay by my chemical romance

[angelbabyyyyyyy]

feeling a toffoli, hughes (either), hischier, and dawson goal coming 🙏

[prisonhannibal]

“do you really wanna be on that medication for the rest of your life :(?” yes actually I would love that. I know what I’m like off it

[lotus-pear]

hngghh domestic......

[ctrlzxoo]

[ACTOR AU] actor ivan visits till during the recording of round 7

[linicat]

[cosmosnout]

The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)

[faiyx]

He literally makes me so depressed

[passing---thoughts]

Moving

Moving

I want to move away. I don’t just want to move neighbourhoods or schools. I want to move countries. In other words, I want to move my life. 

The urge to pack my bags and move back to Europe has never being so strong before. You see I come from a multicultural background, I have being around a lot. In my short years of life I have moved country twice already. I am fully aware of my privilege and do not , in any way, want to sound greedy or ungrateful for my experiences. I am aware most people my age haven’t even left the country, and In some way I feel shamefully guilty for having this feeling inside me. 

One more changes I am asking. To drop everything and restart. Move away from my school, my friends, my life, my routine. Re-shape myself and create a new identity. Present myself with what I really want to be. I strongly believe moving will solve a lot of things. I know I sound greedy and spoiled, but I don’t care. I just want to pack my bags and leave everything behind. I want to pack my bags and leave myself behind. Just the thought of waking up again in and live the same routine over and over triggers a tear down my cheek. I have lost my sense of identity. 

I hold resentment every day, seeing what my old classmates have become, I envy my friends for having family close to them. To be able to see them in the holidays or celebrate Christmas together. I want to be part of my culture, and active citizen. I don’t even know what my culture is anymore. I seek a community that matches with me. I had that in some way in Switzerland ??? I know Australia is what’s best for now, but I just hate it so much. All I want to do is move back. 

I wouldn’t say I hate my life right now, but I do indeed dislike the majority of it.  I wake up , go to school, go to the gym, come home have a snack, wait for dinner, watch a series and go to sleep. All I think about during the day is when I will go back to bed. I spend my days wondering and seeking for a different prospective, chasing for a distraction hoping it will take my mind of things , even if its only for a miserable half an hour. I live in constant boredom and nothing really interests me anymore in the long run. Of course I have interests; I like reading, painting, working out, ect… but I’m not interested enough to peruse any of these hobbies. I  feel constantly tired, interacting with the same people, hearing the same things, getting the same comments over and over again. Having to weak up in the morning to a rainy cold day, already expecting and worrying of what my parents might say or think. Having to go to school and interacting with the same people, walking around in the cold days , sitting in freezing classrooms. And than having to catch the bus in the rain to go to the gym, and coming back home in the freezing 5’ock darkness, only to arrive home and wait until dinner for which an other discussion will emerge ( probably because of me) and then end the day with tears again. To only weak up and re-do everything again.  

My mind is in a state of agony, always waiting and anticipating for moments that will not happen. I  am aware that I need to ‘practice gratitude’ and try mindfulness and all of that stuff. And I have tried, really tried, in every possible way, to change my stupid mindset. 

I am stuck in this cycle of  never-ending anguish. I carry this dyspeptic attitude everywhere I go, making others around me miserable along the way. I know that I  don’t really have anything to complain about, that my life is good, i have everything from basic necessities to opulent experiences and loving parents. I know my parents just want what’s best for me, and I am aware that my anguish comes from inside my mind, and really if my mind was happy my life would probably be good. But sometimes it would make it easier to just ignore this one problem, just loose one battle so we don’t have to lose the war… It’s not the end of the world if we just forget about this one detail you know? I’m just making everything BIG again, inside my head. 

 I feel like I want to cry, but it’s not like I have anything to be upset about right now . So why do I feel  this way? I keep acting  sad around my family, but I don’t want them to worry even more. How do I stop acting this way ? It follows me wherever I go.  

I just want to be able to weak up to the sun shining, my mind blank, with no worries of the what if , no uncomfortable conversations , no fixations of my problems. Just live and breathe and talk like the fresh summer breeze blowing against your face in the morning makes you feel. I want everyone around me to stop fixating on my problems and just let me be. I love the way I look and feel in my body and I don’t want something else to worry about.  

 Oh how I crave the dulce feeling of being a child, were my main worry was if my parents were going to catch me watching tv in the morning. 

I always wonder how I would have turned out if I just slayed in Switzerland. Would I have being happier? More interesting? Perhaps, yes. They all grew up together, except me. Always left out. 

I keep thinking, I would I have been drinking? Perhaps smoking and laughing with no worries. Waving Italian gestures until midnight, walking around the city with my friends, actually friends maybe. 

If it’s true that our experiences shape us… what exactly made me this way? How can I change what I have become?

[junieswrlds]

god i wanna binge harry potter again i wish i could just be cuddled and a silly potterhead just like me can geek out with me and i can be stupid me and ramble abt every lil damn thing from the books and how it is portrayed on screen and they'll actually like it and not mock me hahaaqhahahahahahahah

[clouvu]

Mother and Father 🫶