#feel like that' goddammit why did I played it I don't need that trauma to ignite again
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Sad pathetic rambling
#i used to be a swifty. 17yo looooved her but...#17yo was hopeful she'd get to experience all the things she sang about someday. you know. being in love and all that stuff#'maybe in college' 16yo me thought#but guess what#9 years have passed and none of that has happened yet. 25yo has never been un love yet#you know how humiliating that is sometimes?#these last few years I've seen so many people talking about how x song is for them because is just like what they went through and I'm#'must be nice'#I just played it out of curiosity and as soon as I heard Mine... *emotional damage*#16yo me who was alone in knowing his father had a double life watching that video thinking 'I'll definitely find someone that'll make me#feel like that' goddammit why did I played it I don't need that trauma to ignite again#specially not now that my therapist has forgotten about me#random ramblings
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☀️The Brunch Of Trauma☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 5 “Baking My Heart”
...last time on Disventure Camp I screwed over Nick and caused his elimination because I put him in the heading.
DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT CAUSING JAKE'S ELIMINATION THIS EPISODE. (I hope)
I'm pretty certain it's not him this episode. He's not a target for anybody, at least for now. That and I think it's gonna be Lilly this episode, so...
Yeah. I'm playing my heading card smart this time. King deserves it from last episode.
...oh god what if I DID cause his elimination?
"Goddammit Golden! Why'd you put me in the heading, huh?!"
Alright, let us continue with our journey!
OMG THE PHONE! I FORGOT
PLEEEAAASSEE tell me they take advantage of this!
ALSO, not even a second into the episode and I already caught the fruity boy staring at a certain someone.
YES THEY'RE CALLING! I'm excited!
"Dad! It's me! How are you?"
"Fine, I guess... what do you want?"
Oh he does not sound thrilled.
"Are you taking care of my plants? How are my cats my little birds my fireflies my spiders my iguanas my fish and my crabs?"
GEEZ THAT'S A LOT
I mean I'm not surprised Gabby has a whole zoo at her house. Sounds in character.
Girl has more pets than my own partner.
"Yes... everything you just said is fine... no need to rush home."
Okay, so Gabby having a neglectful family that is annoyed by her existence is canon.
"Do you want to meet my new friends?"
"I have to go attend some business. Bye."
YOU DON'T DESERVE GABBY SIR
Girlie, here you go
"Hi Gretchen! How's it going out there?"
Gretchen? I mean I guess it makes sense she has a nickname, but I just liked saying Grett.
"Did you know that your brother won the football championship? I'm so proud of him sweetie!"
"Guess what's happening today? Your brother's getting a certificate of honor for his high grades in university."
"What does that matter?!"
"I'm just so happy that someone in this family is actually successful!"
OH MY GOD.
I'm actually hurt for Grett.
I would say "Yes, Grett characterization, let's go queen!" But my gosh I feel so bad for her.
I'm so happy we actually get a motive for her now. I knew I could stan her!
'Grett: Overthrow family disappointment'
Add that to the list of motives I made in Episode 4.
"You making a call Tom?"
"Oh... I don't think so, my family isn't home."
Tom... do you have a family? Cause it sounds like you don't.
And that's really sad to hear.
"Is mom home?"
"Oh, they're not here, they went shopping."
WHAT ARE ALL THESE PHONE CALLS?!
Why does everyone have such neglectful families?!
"I'm just... I'm fed up."
Aw, Grett...
"From what?"
"My mom can't go a single day without mentioning my stupid brother!"
"Well, you're not the only one who feels left out in your family..."
Bonding?
I'm loving this scene.
"SHUT UP! You and I are nothing alike! Don't call me friend. We are not friends, and we never will be!"
"Okay, calm down!"
"Just leave me alone!"
Ouch... I do see Grett's POV though. Yeah she's awful, but I guess in her mind she's so inferior to her sibling that she feels the need to be dirty with her tactics.
"We should've listened to Will."
YA THINK?!
If Lilly really is the one gone this episode, you're all alone Ashley. You gotta step up for them!
"Don't give up Lill! It's not over till the rooster crows!"
I like her, she's such an optomist.
"Do you want to go first?"
"I have no one to call."
...what?
No one?
You don't have a spouse? Kids? Grandkids? No one?
"Quit being a nosy brat!"
Lady, he was being a gentlemen and offering you to go first!
Where you pulling this 'brat' shit from?
"Fine, I'll go!"
And right after I say that he gives attitude.
Go call your grandma Jake. Tell her how you love her and you're gonna help her with the money.
Maybe this one will be a bit wholesome.
"Hey Shawn!"
"Hey... Jake..."
...
What...?
"What's up? Is everything alright?"
"I'm sorry..."
*I covered my mouth to hold back a gasp*
"A couple of days ago... grandma passed away..."
OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO
*I'm actually upset for him*
Oh my god...
OH MY GOD HE'S CRYING. OH MY GOD.
"Mom told me not to tell you till you came back... but I had to..."
He's still going. Oh my god...
"You're lying..."
"She was conscious for a few hours before she got worse..."
JUST STOP. JUST STOP TALKING.
"She wrote a letter... I'll give it to you when you get back... I'm sorry man..."
JAKE, I'M SO SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!
I'm actually hurt as well!
AND THEN TOM COMFORTS HIM?!??! AWWWWW 😢
I thought he was here to help her! I didn't think she was gonna die before he can even get back! That's horrible!
YOU ALL BETTER GIVE HIM VIRTUAL HUGS.
FOR HIM AND FOR HIS GRANDMA.
Okay, okay, I'm calming down, I'm calming down...
GOD. DAMN. IT. ME.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT JAKE IN THE HEADING!
I KILLED HIS GRANDMA!!
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!
Jake, if you hate me for this, I understand. I deserve it.
"Why won't you take the slay pass?!"
"Because slaying killed my grandma, okay?!"
(I'm sorry)
"Teal Team I hope you enjoyed your call home!"
BRUH. NO. DON'T EVEN.
"We made sure the ingredients are... what's the word... DISGUSTING."
Knew it.
I'm calling this reaction the Brunch of Trauma. As a callback to Total Drama's 'The Brunch Of Disgustingness'
"How are we supposed to get chicken guts?"
By killing a chicken. Duh.
"I can't eat cockroaches! They have feelings!"
No they don't Gabby. No they don't.
"I don't think Jake's in the mood to run around looking for ingredients."
Thank you Tom. Thank you for being so supportive of him and understanding his situation.
"Does anyone know how to cook?"
No.
"Do I have to?!"
"Do you want to win?"
"Fine."
Why is Fiore so grumpy all of a sudden?
"The winning team will send a representative from their team to tonight's elimination ceremony! Where they will get the sole vote to pick an extra person from the losing team."
It was the slay pass I gave Jake that he threw away.
Who wants it? It was sent by me.
"The team that attends the elimination will lose TWO people tonight!"
OH SHIT.
...it's gotta be Teal that loses then, right? Purple's already down a member, and that'll make numbers REALLY uneven.
Oh god did I cause Jake's elimination by putting him in the heading?!
Look, Purple, if you get this marker, even if your name is Fiore, you leave Gabby Grett and Jake out of this. You have my permission to use this marker, but ONLY to use it on Dan.
Dan's the only one on that team I wouldn't really care gets sent home.
Dan and I guess Miriam. I'm sorry Miriam.
Cause there's no way they're gonna make Purple lose here and make the team HALF the size of the other. Right? There's no way.
"Ever since I heard from home this morning, I've been wondering if there's even a point in being here. Should I leave?"
I feel so bad for Jake.
What did this precious bean do to you writers?! Why'd you have to break his heart like this?!
But yeah, what even is his motive now? It's down the drain now that she's gone.
"Jake, are you okay?"
Oh, so now you care.
"Since when do you care?"
And he said the same thing I said.
"You're always telling me to shut up and leave."
Facts.
"You don't need to pity me."
"I know it's hard, but remember that she'll always be in your heart and in your memories. We can always honor our loves ones by keeping their legacy alive. By lovingly remembering them."
...guys, I didn't start watching this show to cry. I'm gonna be honest.
"I'm saying this because I've been there before."
Oh?
*cuts away*
GOSH DARN IT NO I WANTED TO HEAR THAT! COME ON!
"'The hillbilly girl and wrinkles have no idea what I did' I can't believe it. She's been plotting against us this whole time."
I'm not surprised.
"How could a little girl do this?"
Demon child. CLEAR upbringing issues.
"We have to tell Ellie and Alec!"
"Are they going to believe us?"
They already do!
Though, you can probably get through to Ellie. I can hear her screaming on the inside about her being roped into a villain alliance.
"Do you even cook for your family?"
"Not recently to tell you the truth. Hard to make meals when we're going through a rough patch right now."
You're broke?
The Bucket family?
"I haven't told anyone about this..."
"You can talk to me."
Please talk. We're already eating up a lot of trauma for dinner tonight.
"A couple of years ago, on my husband's birthday, I wanted to surprise him with a cheesecake..."
Oh no from the other episode... I know where this is going.
He died from the cake, didn't he?
"So I told my son to take him to the mall, maybe buy his dad a gift while I baked... but when I had the desert ready, I called them to come back but they never did."
They both died?!
"Apparently a drunk driver hit their car... a head collision... no survivors."
Shit... that's awful.
Why is there so much trauma in this episode?!
"It took me to a dark place for a long time, those two were the only ones I had..."
"I'm so sorry, Miriam."
"It's never easy to lose someone you love. When I heard what happened to your grandmother, it all came flooding back..."
YES. HUG. PLEASE.
PLEEEAASSE WE NEED SOMETHING COMFORTING IN THE MIDST OF THIS HEARTBEAK
Okay how many virtual hugs can we get by the end of this episode?
Is Miriam gonna be nicer to Jake from here on out? I hope so.
"Don't worry. Everything is under control."
I am so bloody confused by these hosts plotline, I'm gonna be honest.
What are you talking about?
I know Tom stole the dude's ID, but why? Is he a criminal?
"Let's say... they didn't send the smartest spy they had."
Oh they ARE talking about Tom.
So Tom does know stuff and he's sus as shit.
So he's not a ninja... I was thinking it would be spy too.
So he's not on the show to win. He's here to stop... whatever these guys are doing.
Also YEAH, they DIDN'T send the smartest spy.
Cause hum diddly hum, I wonder which one among the cast is the impostor? Maybe it's the one guy who never shows his face.
ALSO, he SAW Tom running.
"He didn't see me! I was wearing black! And I was out in the night! I was practically Batman!"
"Yeah but you stick out like a sore thumb during the day and in the sun."
"BUT IT'S THE SUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN"
"Jake thinks it was Dan and Dan thinks it was Jake."
That's not what they said. I distinctly remember that's not what they said.
"Grett won't let me talk to you."
Yeah it really sucks they're on different teams, cause they seem to get along well.
"Why? She shouldn't get to control you like that."
Thank you Ellie.
She's a good bean and she'll do the right thing when time comes. I'm sure.
"I know, but it's the only way to save myself."
Yeah, being outcasted SUCKS.
I mean, I get it, I've been there in my past. Everyone found me annoying and hated me and would say it to my face. But also, you can't get people walk all over you Gabby.
As a Grett stan, you have permission to leave her behind.
"Let me know if you need someone to talk about it with."
Yes, confide in Ellie. She's a good person too.
Despite, you know, the alliance she's in not being the best choice.
Side with the heroes. You can side with Lilly and Ashley and get rid of Fiore. You'll be one happy family and they'll take you in.
"I like you Gabby. You aren't afraid to speak your mind."
Is that a platonic compliment, or...?
Actually, I can see it.
"Here's an idea, if my team wins, I can offer myself as the representative to make sure you're not in danger."
That sounds like a great plan actually! Do it!
But Ellie I swear to god you leave Jake out of this. Use the pen on Dan!
That pen is the slay pass I granted in the game, and I tell you how you use it!
"And if your team wins, you can do the same."
"You can save me from Fiore using the pen! And I'll be free! It'll be a glorious victory!"
In dream land where everything works out perfectly, that's what happens.
They're actually really sweet. I love that Gabby has a friend to confide with.
I love that Gabby gets to be happy in this miserable world where everyone is traumatized beyond belief!
NO NOT THE CHICKEN
I'm sorry Ashley, but you need to get clotheslined by a clothesline.
Even the birds are bullying Dan.
Awww their little chef wear, that's so cute on them!
"You've done this before?"
"Thank you... I used to cook with my grandmother a lot."
I'm glad he's staying strong for her.
Even Fiore is like "I'm glad I'm not your child!"
"I think we screwed up."
What are you talking about? It's supposed to be screwed up.
You're doing it perfectly.
Idk how fair this is considering one team has more members eating.
Yeah Teal's gotta lose here, right? They have more members...
It also might come at the expense of Miriam if I'm being honest. Just when I was starting to like her.
But that happens. Once you start to like a character on Total Drama, they get eliminated.
"I can't believe what I'm about to say, but... this is delicious!"
Alright, who put DJ's Mama Spice in the mix?!
This face XD
Aaaaaannnnddd we get vomit rockets...
I'm not showing that.
SO... my prediction was completely wrong.
That ended a lot faster than I thought it would.
How are that team gonna function with just three?
"Cooking is my passion. And when Jake and I cooked, I haven't felt that normal in a long time. I guess I judged the boy too soon."
I'm glad Miriam is coming around.
Gabby's the representative, as we established.
"I wanted to use the slay pass you gave me last episode, Golden!"
I'll give it to you sweetie. Use it for whoever. If you want to slay Fiore with it, go right ahead.
"It was convenient for everyone that Gabby volunteered. No one wants to make enemies right now."
You guys all blew your chance of making her an ally a long time ago.
Lilly and Ashley are being very blunt about this. I like it.
"Fiore has been sabotaging our team! And she can't get away with it!"
"Wow..."
What do you mean wow? You know this already.
"Well, who cares?!"
"Not me."
BRUH
"Ellie, you have to help us!"
YES ELLIE! JOIN THEM! GET HER OUT!
"They're just saying that cause they're desperate. Did they reach out to you when they were making their original alliance?"
What's it matter now? Ellie was desperate too back then.
"How did this happen? I went from being in the worst position to deciding the vote! It feels good to have this power."
Ellie... this is gonna sound really bad, but... I can't trust you with a slay pass.
"What do you mean Golden isn't on my side?!"
"SURPRISE BITCHES!!"
QUEEN 👑
"Remember when you vote me out at the first day?!"
"AND HERE I AM. REVENGE IS MINE."
"Gabby has a red marker. She will write the name of one of you and when I read the name of that one unlucky contestant, that person is immediately out!"
"It was a slay pass granted from Golden to Gabby because whoever Gabby hates probably deserves it."
I know how these shows work.
I have the gut feeling...
Ellie's not gonna side with the good guys.
Yep. I was right from the start of this. They're voting Lilly.
"I'm voting for you so you can crawl back to whatever Disney movie your wrinkled which face came from."
Why does she look so evil?
"See, that's why you have bad taste Golden. All the favs you picked are evil and/or have serious issues!"
'LILL'
Yep. We know.
'FIORE'
I feel like it would be hilarious if Gabby wrote Fiore's name.
Ellie would be like, "See, that's what makes me the swing vote! Good or Evil? I choose NEITHER."
'LILL'
'FIORE'
It's Lilly.
RIP.
Ashley, it's up to you cowgirlie! You gotta take up the mantle and survive!
...WELP, YOU SURVIVED FOR TWO SECONDS.
GODDAMMIT.
I had a feeling she was gonna do that.
ELLIE. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY
And why did Gabby use the slay pass on Ashley! I specifically told you to use it on Fiore!!
"I'll give it to you sweetie. Use it for whoever."
I feel like I should blame myself for this happening.
SLAY PASS MISFIRE
"Ellie, why did you do that?"
"I'm sorry Lill, we were getting down to the wire and Fiore could be helpful if we reached the merge."
How would she help you in the merge exactly?! She's a KID. She has limitations! She's not exactly a good alliance member to have.
And who's to say she's not just gonna ditch you after this?
I'm sorry Ellie, but I'm calling you out cause I do not see your logic there.
"Not to throw a hissy fit, but this is seriously unfair!"
I feel like Ashley is saying that to ME specifically.
"GOLDEN YOU LUNATIC REACTIONARY! WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ANYONE A SLAY PASS WILLY NILLY?! AND IT CAME AT THE EXPENSE OF ME!"
"There's three of us and only two of you. Even a six year old can do better math than you."
Fiore secretly takes Algebra. The highest level. And she's a straight A honor roll student.
"Y'all WILL regret this decision!"
Specifically Ellie. She's gonna regret this, I can already tell.
Honestly, Ashley was robbed. I get it, limited episodes, but really? That's how she's eliminated?
Awwwwwwww 💗
At least they're besties till the end.
"Okay, Fiore tricked us. But if she managed to do that with us, she can do the same with the other team."
AND she can do the same to YOU.
"Luckily Ellie and Alec didn't fall for their desperate attempt to throw me under the bus."
They DO know. Alec just doesn't care, and Ellie apparently knows what she's doing.
Honestly, I still feel like Ellie can redeem herself from this, especially if she's merging. She can be the swing vote, see the light, and join the good guys. I don't think she's a bad person at all, she's just playing the cards she's dealt.
I don't have to approve of her plan, but I understand why she has to do it.
I don't blame Gabby either. That was my fault. I'll take the blame for her. I forgive her.
Plus it's also, you know, karma for that alliance.
I was expecting that alliance to lose like, two members before the merge, but DAMN, it COMPLETELY collapsed pre-merge!
Reality TV's Stupidest Alliance everyone!
I was thinking Ashley would lose Lilly, her last ally, and be the outlier of her team trying to survive. Even if she wouldn't last long merge-wise. But when the Tribal Council started I realized, "Nah, Ashley's screwed."
I do feel like she was robbed though and they could do more with her. If she's in Season 3. The red marker is kind of a bullshit move to boot someone, ngl. But I get it, there's only 13 episodes so they had to do a double elimination. The TD Reboot had to do that as well. But really? That's how Ashley gets booted?
I liked her. She was the one reasonable fellow of that alliance.
Lilly... Well, I predicted her pre-merge boot from the very beginning, and I was completely right. And I think she works as plainly that. A pre-merge boot, AKA, an early elimination, with a one note personality that wasn't bitchy. She was also kinda the mom of that group.
I feel like they have to scramble up the teams now, right? Cause Purple has 3 and Teal has 6. It's not really fair that one team has DOUBLE the amount of teammates.
Or maybe because of that they throw someone from Teal to put them on Purple. My bet would be Gabby.
"Gabby, congrats, you're on the Purple Team now."
4-5, and it's a little better.
That would really screw Grett over though. I love her and I love the characterization given to her this episode, but also, I don't expect her to win at all.
If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.
#disventure camp#total drama#reactions#reaction#dc lill#disventure camp lill#dc ashley#disventure camp ashley#dc fiore#disventure camp fiore#dc alec#disventure camp alec#dc dan#disventure camp dan#dc derek#disventure camp derek#dc ellie#disventure camp ellie#dc gabby#disventure camp gabby#dc grett#disventure camp grett#dc jake#disventure camp jake#dc miriam#disventure camp miriam#dc tom#disventure camp tom#dc trevor#disventure camp trevor
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OG Anon again
Yeah other anon is right, that's 1000% my interpretation. As I said, a lot of it is subtext based on how you interpret the performances. (I also sent that right before going in for an interview so I just had to send it before making sure it made sense because My Name Was Called)
Also I'm trying to avoid too specific spoilers so I'm intentionally being a bit vague, but...
If you want cheesy violins playing while Spock turns to Kirk and Bones in shock like "omg I remember!" that doesn't happen.
If you want a moment of "I know you! And now I'm going to give you so Spockian a look there will never be any doubt in your mind that Spock himself has returned to you" you will absolutely get that.
If you even want to go a step further and have Spock declare his everlasting feelings of friendship (because this crew is his family goddammit) in front of a crowd of people... well ymmv on if that's exactly what happened, but we did get Something Like That.
The long and short of it is that Nimoy was creatively in charge of most of the good TOS movies (and TWOK got a rewrite at his behest, so he also had input into that), and nobody could, would, or did understand these characters as well as he did. And he understood that after the tragedy of TWOK you 1) need a journey of healing (which he gave us) and 2) need true catharsis (which he also gave us... in so many ways).
Nimoy allows us to interpret Spock's growth the way we want to (in much the way there are a million ways to interpret almost every expression he makes in TOS), but through the plot, character interactions, and dialogue he gives us the catharsis we need from the trauma we all collectively suffered.
hi!
i really appreciate how much thought you've put into these explanations. it has made me more open minded to expanding the trek-verse in my brain to hold more wonderful moments. i don't know how to explain properly why i have so much hesitation... star trek is just really important to me. nothing gives me the same feeling of "home" as watching tos, even for just a few minutes on my worst day. as cheesy as it sounds, it's gotten me through a lot of hard times by giving me hope, making me laugh, making me feel like i could belong somewhere someday. the idea of that world i love so much being altered in the mind of one of my favorite characters just makes me short circuit a little? like, what if i never look at the bleep bloop colorful 60s bridge the same again??? where will i go?
the plot is genius and everything you've said is super enlightening! i knew nimoy influenced them a lot which has always made me really want to watch. i just... always chicken out.
anyway thank you again!!! i hope the interview went well!!!!!!
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