#fear isn't cunty

[sparxaf]

Shame never serves, it's true. I'm not sure about cringe though. I think being comfortable in your skin and confident enough to let yourself be cringe sometimes DOES slay. But I definitely agree about fear. It's okay and normal to be afraid, but living in fear isn't cunty at all.

[blitzwhore]

Do you have any predictions for season 3?

I do! A lot! I've been letting this ask sit in my inbox for a few days so I could properly put them into words, and in doing so ended up making a prediction bingo:

Some of these need a bit more explanation, so allow me to elaborate:

-> I think M&M will ultimately keep the baby, but it'll have a big impact on the dynamics of I.M.P. It'll mean Loona will have to go on more missions (while Stolas stays as secretary). It'll mean Sallie May will be a lot more present, and might even join I.M.P. herself. It's already been established she's a skilled assassin. (I also think Millie will be scared to tell Blitz at first, fearing the strain she knows this will put on the business, but he'll immediately give her absolutely every financial and emotional accommodation she needs, even if it means overworking himself).

-> I think Vassago isn't gonna let go of the trial, and will chase after Andrealphus to get some answers, then eventually seek out Stolas. I think when he finds out that Stolas was just saving Blitz's life because they're in love, he'll ship the two of them very hard.

-> I think Cash will try to get back into Blitz's life for his own personal gain now that Blitz's business is going well and he's well known. This might lead to more childhood flashbacks, to Stolas finding out about the fire, and to Blitz's bond with everyone else growing. I think this might also be how Stolas finds out what really happened on the day they met as kids (Cash selling him to Paimon and forcing him to steal).

-> I think Octavia will forgive Blitz before she forgives Stolas. There are theories out there about Via being in danger and Blitz going through great lengths to save her; I could definitely see that happening. I also theorise Blitz will adopt her before she's of age, the same way he did with Loona.

-> I think we're going to see more of Andrealphus, and I personally agree with the theories that he secretly desires something like what Stolitz have, or maybe had a crush on Stolas growing up and/or has an imp fetish. Either way, I think the reason he doesn't want Stolas and Blitz to be happy will be a lot more personal than he's been leading everyone to believe.

-> I also think Ozzie and Fizz's relationship will continue to develop and grow as they face new challenges and sources of conflict, both within their relationship (eg. the tension from what happened at the trial) and from external sources (eg. Mammon).

-> Lastly, I think Asmodean Crystals are what give imps the ability to conjure a human disguise (see: Barbie in Unhappy Campers), and I think Stolas will help Blitz and M&M learn how to conjure theirs as soon as he finds out they don't know how. Or maybe Barbie herself will teach them? Who knows!

Other random things I didn't include in the bingo:

Loona and Stolas bonding

Many, many soft and tender moments between Stolas and Blitz

More sassy/cunty Stolas

More Octavia songs

Loona song?!

Barbie meets Loona

Also: Stolas meets Barbie

There are also things I didn't include because they're not exactly "predictions", as we've already been told/shown they're going to happen, like another trial, a Vassago song, and Stella backstory. Looking forward to those too!!

[another-delta-lover]

YAP [RANT] TO ME ABT HEAVY!!!!!

HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.

I get MAD when people simp for medic bc, I understand, tumblr insane sexy man blabla yadda yadda IDGAF

You all CAN'T SEE HOW MUCH OF A PERFECT PERSON HE IS. He's such a good person, he's such a good son and older brother, doin the dishes for his mama, caring about the absolute safety of his sisters, LITERALLY SAVING EM FROM A THING I FORGOT IT'S NAME WHEN HE WAS LIKE, IDK FUCKIN <20< ??? HE'S SUCH A GOOD FAMILY MEMBER. HE WOULD PROTECT U SO WELL AND ALWAYS CARE ABOUT UR SAFETY. AUGH ES UN HOMBRE Q RESUELVE LO JURO. HE ALSO RISKS HIS LIFE TO HAVE MONEY FOR THEM??? AAAAAAAAAAA. He does enjoy his job a lot (WHICH I LOVE IN SOMEONE. HELL YEAH ENJOY UR JOB AND GET WELL PAID), But the main reason of him working is just for his family and the money to help them. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?????

Also HE'S SUCH A GOOD TEAMMATE???? HE WILL PROTECT ALL OF HIS TEAM WITHOUT FEAR AND WIN??? AND ALL HE NEEDS IS SOME CUNTY GAY ASS GERMAN DUDE BEHIND HIM??. He could be such a good grandpa/father figure or even just a really good n close friend to all the mercs, but even so, he acts so cold so quiet and mysterious around em🤭

AND ALSO!!! His masculinity ain't broken by showing love to his teammates??? He can hug em and literally yell to them "I LOVE YOU" from across the map??? Sayin "I LOVE YOU DOKTOR!!" Isn't common between men, even less in that time. If he IS gay, good for him! If he isn't, I'm glad he can express how much he loves someone without the fear of lookin weak is something I admire soso muchhh.

He has a minigun the SIZE OF MY FUCKIN BODY THAT HE CAN CARRY RUNNING WITHOUT ANY KIND OF PROBLEM??? HE COULD CARRY ME AROUND LIKE A STICK AND WOULDN'T EVEN AAHAGAJSHDHAGSH DO YOU REALIZE HE TAKES CARE OF THAT GUN LIKE SHE WAS HIS CHILD??? HE'S A GOOD FUCKING PARENT TOO?? AAAHHHH IM NORMAL

He's a good cook, he cooks really nice meals and doesn't mind to share u some, which I wouldn't do bc I don't share my food. HESO NICE AUGHH. I LOVE IT WHEN MA BOI COOKS😭😭😭 IDK WHY THAT MAKES PEOPLE MORE ATTRACTIVE FOR ME.

Also, HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY???????? IDGAF HE'S BALD, THAT'S THE BEST PARTY. HIS BLUE EYES ARE SO PRETTY N HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE SO SILLYY

LOOK AT HIM!!!! AUGHHH

Also his body is so JAHSLAHDJQHDJALSH he so big so perfect😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 His arms are the size of my whole body. AND HIS HANDS AAAAAAAAAA. He so FAT I LOVE HIM. I need him to crush me un a hug so badly. U all don't understand how much of a good body that could be in a relationship. U cold? U hug him problems gone. U wanna be cozy at night but the pillow is too small? He's the biggest pillow and he can hug u back that's soNSHSJAVDJSHD. He can carry u in his arms when u tired, u can lay on his chest and everything.... sighhh.... AND ALSO HE CAN FIGHT A BEAR WITH HIS BARE FISTS AND WIN, THEN EAT IT???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT IS????? LIKE HOLY FUCK THAT'S LIKE THE PEAK OF MANLINESS FOR ME. The question "would u rather be in a forest with a man or with a bear" I'M CHOOSING THIS BEAR HOLY FUCK HE WOULD PROTECT ME FROM THE BEARS.

ALSO HIS VOICE OH GOD HIS VOICE. It's such a loud and strong voice in English 🤭 even tho he isn't the best at it (me neither), HE SPEAKS IN SUCH A WAY IT MAKES ME KICK MY FEET GIGGLE AND CRY. I need him to say nice stuff to me with his cool asf voice. And when IT'S IN RUSSIAN AHHH😩~ I SWEAR He's such an elegant and polite man😭😭😭 he sounds so professional and ajsvqkebalhdmaoevs And IDC what u all say to me, he could sing so perfectly<3 for me his dialogs of him singing are well sung/GEN. I just imagine him singing:

To me.... Ik the song is kinda sad and not very romantic but IDC HE WOULD SOUND SO PERFECTLY.

HE HAS A PHD IN RUSSIAN LITERATURE LIKE....... HE'S SO FUCKING SMART. HE'S ALSO PRETTY FUCKIN RICH??? IT COST 400,000 DOLLARS TO FIRE HIS WEAPON FOR 12 SECONDS???? AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IF HE KNOWS THAT HE'S 1. really fucking smart 2. THE ONE WHO PAYS??? Even if he wasn't rich I still love him a lot but I'm poor so that would make it slightly better. AND ALLTHE MONEY TO HIS FAMILY MOSTLY AUGHHH ALSHAKSHAKDHA

Also his COSMETICS. HIS FUCKING COSMETICS ARE SO HOT AAAAAAA. Most of em are normal silly hats but WHEN THEY AREN'T. OHMY GOD THOSE DARK GLOVES GOT MY LEGS SHAKIN. AND HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN SUITS??? OH GOD AUGHHH. Not into mafia people n stuff BUT.... FOR HIM I MAKE A BIG AHH EXCEPTION. And also, i want to point out the fact that HE WEARS DRESSES. I shouldn't make it a big dear but DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S THE 60's-70's???? AND HE'S A BIG RUSSIAN MAN???? He broke the gender dressing codes of the time not only bc he's a man wearing dresses, but a BIG MAN WEARING THEM??? AND A RUSSIAN MAN??? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME????💔💔💔💔 Also his hats are cute I like them.

Just to summary:

Medic < HEAVY!!!

Good person I general, son, older brother, teammate, friend, father and possible partner, risking his life for his family.

He doesn't think lovin teammates is weird or GAY. Unless he is, but honestly good for him

STRONG AS HELL. AJGAJAHDJA

GOOD COOK!!!!

PRETTY!!!!!PRETTY REALLY PRETTY!!! HANDSOME

GORGEOUS FREAKING BODY.

FOUGHT WITH A BEAR AND WON

VOICE OF AN ANGEL!!!!

SMART AND RICH??? AND HE DESERVES TO BE RICH.

AMAZING STYLE.

DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GENDER NORMS.

YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. AAAGHHHHH ILOVEHIM YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T YOU CAN'T YOU YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[drdemonprince]

Do you have any favourite scary movies?

I love the ambiguity and grief of The Orphanage, and the main character's emotional journey is absolutely gutting.

The Strangers has some of the most subtle, dread-inducing scares of any horror film of its era; if you liked the hidden ghosts in Mike Flanagan's Haunting of Hill House, it owes some inspiration to this film, I think. It truly gave me nightmares.

The newer Suspiria has really stayed with me, and I loved Flawed Peacock's analysis of the film on Youtube as well. I watched both this and the original back-to-back a few months ago, and they're both great in different ways, but nothing tops the haunting, sickening beauty of the end of this one.

28 Days Later is the only zombie movie for me, and yes part of that is because Cillian Murphy was so fuckable in it. I'll never forget the quiet, contemplative air of this movie, which is rivaled only by The Last of Us games. The zombie genre is bloated with derivative crap, but this movie rang in a whole new generation, and did it so well you don't need most of the rest.

The original Saw is a hell of a stage-play-slash-bottle-episode, and it's far more sophisticated in its writing than any of the rest in the series. It really holds up in my opinion.

The Cell isn't really that scary, to me, but it's fucking cunty as hell with incredible costumes and set pieces, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Bonus points for having a minor corruption/hypnosis aspect really tickled my imagination. I just wish that element had lasted for longer.

Speaking of movies that are actually plays -- there's no better Stephen King adaptation than Misery. Kathy Bates absolutely crushes in a nauseating, confining performance here, and the hobbling scene is one you just never forget. To me it's a perfectly paced film, and it holds up shockingly well in the era of stans and superfandoms.

Ghost Ship is my favorite bad stupid horror movie. The opening scene is enough creative nonsense carnage to justify its existence, but stick around through the end for a very weird trip-hop montage.

Dead Silence is another goofy one that gets really inventive with its gore. I love horror movies that do just downright disrespectful, creepy shit with corpses, and that's what this one is all about.

The Boy is a fucking laugh riot to me. The entire premise is so transparent from the very beginning and the thrills are so awkward and tame that it's a great Halloween party movie. If you're anything like me, you and your friends will walk around the house talking about the Boy for days afterward. Brahms is an age regressor king

Some people find Aronofsky's movies to be too over-the-top to connect with, but I think he nailed the internal horror of perfectionism, codependency, sexual repression, and eating disorders with Black Swan. Barbara Hershey's character is so perfectly unsettling that it sets all my people-pleasing, abandonment-fearing issues alight every time. Everything about this movie is confining and distorting, which is exactly how it feels inside when you narrow your entire life to a singular pursuit and are governed by impossible rules.

The Others has exactly what I need for a horror movie to have good replay value: just like The Orphanage, it's final reveal is more depressing and unsettling than it is pure scary, which makes it cut deeper, and it recontexualizes the whole rest of the film. The interiors and aesthetics are great.

Possession is easily the most disturbing movie on this list. This one cuts deep in a confusing, unmooring way -- it makes you feel sick in your soul, hopeless, and put off from relationships. Filming it reportedly ruined Sam Neil & Isabelle Adjani's lives for a good while, and you can see why. This film is the psychological reality of divorce in its unabashed form. To really leave behind a life you once committed yourself to, you have to become almost unrecognizable to yourself, and do great violence to both your former self, and the ones you love. This film gets that, and it's painful. It makes you feel disgusting for wanting things or for staying in a place where you're unhappy.

Happy watching!

[vulcajes]

Narcissa Black headcanons? (If you haven't done them already)

UGH MY LITERAL WIFE 🫶🫶

How I view her:

Queen. Icon. Legend. Mother. The best to ever exist. She was too cunty for this world. Deceptive, charming, and witty; she was born for pureblood politics and society. Very people-smart and a natural secret finder, could find out anything about anyone and use it against them for what she wants. But nobody believes she'd ever do that because of how charming and sweet she seems, even people who have been on the receiving end of her manipulation forget about it easily. Just generally good at playing games: games with people, mostly. But games, nonetheless. Still, her sweetness isn't just for show and she's an absolute darling to those she cares about. Would never actively harm someone without having a reason behind it and would never do anything to harm her family. I could yap about her for centuries, I fear.

My fave hcs:

The most popular girl from first to final year. Beloved by everyone, teachers and student alike.

Above average student but didn't excel in anything except charms (her fave and her best, top of the class)

Wanted to go into acting (specifically theatre) as a child but knew it wasn't possible

Was everyone's go-to for when it came to hair and makeup advice, and she was fucking good at it

Natural blonde who dyed her hair black

Epitome of the 60s "It Girl" from her clothes to her hair. Everyone wanted her or to be her.

Never played quidditch but secretly enjoyed the sport (would've been good at it too)

Her entire family's favourite (siblings, cousins, parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents) and considered the best example of a pureblood girl

A really nice laugh. Idk why but she has a gorgeous laugh that's so soft and polite, hand covering her mouth. Her face doesn't wrinkle when she laughs either. How.

Doesn't necessarily believe in Voldemort but definitely has some pureblood supremacist beliefs from childhood.

My fave ships:

Lucissa — I mean... cmon now. So unbelievably cunty. They are the epitome of cunt. I love them. Hot take but they actually loved each other very much.

Nobleflower — oh my god so much potential. They're so doomed lovers. They make me sick. And then her sister TORTURED HER EX LOVER AND HER HUSBAND ?!?!?!?!? Evil.

Sunflower — this is just one entirely indulgent. I think James would be OBSESSED with her. She's such an it-girl. He would be down horrendous. Secretly, though. Wouldn't want Sirius to know.

Narlily — listen... in a muggle au... it'd work so well. Rich, posh girl and a smart, working class icon so so yummy. Lily who speaks her mind so loudly and willingly and Narcissa who's used to being silent for survival... let's go lesbians

Emcissa — best friends to lovers? I think so. Emma and her bond over quidditch (she's the only one who knows about Narcissa's love for it) and also they kiss. They're so it girls and they kiss so so much. Yay.

[cherrari]

you can’t find charles hot, what about nico rosberg bc i always see people going on and on about his face card but i fear they mainly mean the hair bc he always looks just like a little above average on the attractiveness scale to me sorry

ig he’s not really hot anyways but more so pretty but i still can’t see it bc i remember seeing this tweet once that was saying both charles and nico have elite face cards and the quotes all disagreeing and going ‘how dare you compare charles to THEE nico rosberg’ and i was stunned

they are completely different kinds of pretty imo... like charles is more cute (handsome) pretty while nico is cunty pretty... not comparable to me though the overlap between their fanbases is significant because they fulfill similar "pretty boy living in the shadow of their rival" archetypes

nico is much older than charles so he also looks older which isn't a bad thing and i still think he's gorg but it feels like a bit unfair to discuss 39 year old nico and 27 year old charles together 😭 and like the styling trends and beauty resources available in 2024 are very different from when nico was the same age...

tl;dr: why must we pit two beautiful women against each other

[physics-of-one-piece]

Ok that cd doffy and rosi gave me such a jumpscare. Also in all honesty sometimes i be thinking about doffy just deadass not knowing that women(folks with them parts) can even cum. Like rosi totally does,so much so that if his room is anywhere near doffys doffy aint getting sleep. Them nightmares aint what wake him its whoever rosi is tearing up at booty in the morning. Doffy assumes rosi is finally like killing someone or something until doffy comes across reader. Reader whos either the one that he finally has interest in legitimately or his favorite sex worker or maid or whatever the hell who just snaps cause they cant take it anymore something along the lines of "you wanna rule everything,find the one piece but you cant find my clit if it was on the side of your face". Reader either forcibly teaches doffy(cause i think it would be funnier that way). Or doffy gets curious by wondering the hell are they on 🐦‍⬛

🐦‍⬛anon

I'm fckn cackling. Love this ask. Sorry for giving you a jumpscare I just got CD Doffy on my mind I fear 😔🤣

I have to defend Canon Doffy here, though, because trust me, he would not have women getting all over him on that couch in that chapter if he didn't know how to make them cum & where the clit is. Yeah, they're probably also paid to be there, but they would not be WILLINGLY over him if he didn't know how to work a woman's clit. He literally holds his tongue out very often that is literally a show of... Well, you know. Oda very purposefully drew him and designed him and dressed him to say a lot about his character - you know what the message is? "This character is popular among the ladies and it isn't for his fashion sense or personality." Aka "this flamboyant char is a horny mfr who has sex a lot and makes the ladies happy"

Canon Doffy KNOWS where the clit is. Canon Doffy KNOWS. He is a horny, cunty, very sexual guy. He KNOWS.

That "you can find the one piece but can't find my clit" is so fckn savage I should not be laughing but I am 🤣🤣

Omg, but the Doffy being woken by Rosi comment I am HOWLING.

He would totally like sneak his head in through Rosi's door and be like "how the fuck are you making her moan so much, I wanna KNOW" and then he just strolls into the room and demands to be taught.

Reader forcibly teaching Doffy, sign me the fuck up, I want a one shot. 🤣🤣

Anyway, Canon Doffy totally knows where the clit is, I'm sorry, anon, there is like NO WAY Canon Doffy DOESN'T KNOW. Why do you think he holds out his tongue? It's his mating invitation ritual, saying "I will use this tongue on your clit, babe, come find me in Dressrosa 😉😘😜"

Celestial Doffy, though... Gods help him. And by Gods, I genuinely mean GODS. Because.... He has no active reason to seek out the clit.

Celestial Doffy. Knows. Absolutely. Nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He fckn shoves his dick in the closest female slave, thrusts and gets his happy minutes (or hours if he wants to torture the poor girl, you can't tell me he doesn't do some sort of denial kink just to see the slaves squirm I feel so sorry for those women, run girl, run) and then goes on his merry way. What I fear the most is his fckn STAMINA (I mean, we did all watch the same fight this guy is a TANK). This guy can fuck for a while, and in multiple rounds.

What I am currently thinking is just how immature should CD Doflamingo be? It depends whether he goes back to the Downs and then reclaims his status, or whether his family stays in Mariejois.

Bcs those are very different CD Doffys. One got a wake-up call.

The Mariejois born and raised did not. And somehow - SOMEHOW - that fckn terrifies me bcs he has everything to lose.

He probably would hate being like his fat peers so we know he'd train and be in shape and probably still start the underground business. And he would PROBABLY get his Devil Fruit cus he hears about them and is like "okay, I'm getting one 😃" and is then trained by Tsuru for YEARS while Rosi does a "I want to help people" and still goes to join the Marines.

The "terrifying and cruel" Mariejois born and raised CD! Doffy is fighting against the "immature spoiled asshole throwing temper tantrums but also somehow so very pathetic and needy and clingy once he experiences Reader cumming around his cock and it's like a whole new world opened up for him" Mariejois born and raised CD! Doffy.

Reader is doing a lot of mental gymnastics to survive CD! Doffy except in that Rosi's Wife!Reader but both brothers being Celestial Dragons fic.

The rest of them? Where Doflamingo picks Reader as his wife? Only one of those fics is wholesome, kinda - and even that one has dark undertones bcs Reader is like submitting from the get-go

I wrote three of these fics yesterday (just as drabbles/unfinished one shots)

I wish I could feel guilty, but I honestly don't.

Thank you for this great ask, 🐦‍⬛anon!

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

the trophies for re8 suck, not only bc the mercenaries one is so hard to get, but also bc why tf is there a close combat only option when there are so many exceptions (the pipe bomb once, heisenberg, chris section, miranda at one point) ?? like the trophy is not conducive to the narrative you've created - either make a different game or make a different achievement. same w the 'fewer than four healing items' (i used zero hehe... unless we count the times ethan automatically uses it in a cutscene), like make it zero if that's possible or don't do the trophy. god, they're just being lazy w this. like, knife only made sense for REmake, so did no saves, no heals. (also, the re2r one that was like only x amount of steps was cool af bc it was original). like, everyday, i appreciate REmake more and more bc it doesn't force you to use certain weapons and there aren't a ton of cutscenes and files, it's super puzzle heavy, and i think manual saving adds a challenge (also not having an item box in other games suckssss).

hearing ppl say they might re-remake that one makes me so like ughhh!! that's the one perfect game you made!!! leave it alone!! (they need to at least remaster code veronica tho so i can play it. rn it's too hard for me, i've tried, but i'm highly interested).

i do not fear the re5 remake tho bc there is no way that you can make that game worse. the only good thing was that sheva was a good character (and hot, sorry i hate objectifying women, so let me just say she is v beautiful, most respectfully)

also, they fucking took the personality straight out of leon in re4r!! (haven't played the full og bc the controls pmo but i've seen so much of it and it's like ...he was so cunty and fun!! i hate that they're like 'no, he's a different guy now' like idk if they were like we need to take out the 'misogynistic dialogue' (which is stupid bc, like, that's how men act and the joke is always on him. like 'sorry, following a lady's lead just isn't my style'. he looks like the dumbass he is after saying that and i like that he kinda sucked. it was funny when he flirted w hunnigan!!)

i will admit, re2r (i have not played the original), while the dialogue (particularly in claire's campaign) is weak, the gameplay is really fucking good.

it's also like ughhh esp after playing sh2r and thinking it was v good and then playing sh2 og and seeing that they kept the whole thing the same but just made it better !! and like fuck konami (particularly for the PT incident, but also like, put your fucking games somewhere, piracy is a hassle... i would know... in minecraft, allegedly, of course). moreover, akira yamaoka just came back and made better versions of the same songs like i was torn about promise og and remake but now i'm like fuckkk the guitar does add something at that one part, like i just need it. i also think it was a good decision to make james attractive, but i doubt that's an original opinion (i'll explain later).

[toomuchracket]

matty seeing girlie *politely and professionally* cuss someone out in her lawyer mindset and it rlly gets him going

OOH OOH one time vee @abiiors and i talked about you and matty getting called into the school because elena punched a boy in the face because he was bullying her big sister - matty gets there first and has to listen to this obnoxious dad be like "your daughter broke my son's nose (she did not) i want discipline", all the while thinking Just You Wait Until My Wife Gets Here.

he swoons when you rock up in your work clothes and your heels (red lip optional but it would be so cunty i fear), and does his best not to smirk while you sit through listening to this fucking awful excuse for a father complain about how his son is an angel and would never do anything wrong and your daughters are feral and should be expelled with a raised eyebrow and folded arms, because he knows you're about to tear this arsehole a new one. you do, but in a lawyerly way; you literally pull handouts from your bag for everyone like "email transcripts from the past six weeks, detailing the problems your supposed angel of a child has ben causing my eldest daughter, beginning with a note from their class teacher to apologise for the bruising dylan came home with after he deliberately pushed her off a swing set and to inform us he would be duly disciplined in class, and hopefully at home too, as the email had been sent to you and your family as well. the rest of the transcripts are emails from myself to the class and head teachers, explaining that dylan has since been scared to go to school due to further bullying, and asking if something could be done about this rapidly escalating situation. i don't necessarily condone my younger daughter's actions, although i am proud of her for standing up for her sister, but if you had bothered to deal with your child's behaviour before now then she wouldn't have had to resort to violence to stop her older sister being targeted". the headteacher is (rightfully) mortified, the man is IRATE, and matty's not sure he's ever fancied you more in his life. and then he has to rescind that, because the man tries to pull the "oh, i'm sure my son's only acting like that because he fancies her!" card, and you just say "children learn behaviours, though - you implying that your son equates affection with violence also implies someone in the immediate family thinks so, too. in that case, maybe best to get social work involved. i'm sure they'd be very interested to hear that" - he's spluttering out denials (which don't sound too convincing), and you just stand up and say "i think we're done here. we'll speak to elena about her methods of tackling injustice. and i hope your son's bruising isn't too severe - we can testify from dylan's that arnica ointment helps, though. have a good weekend" and grab matty and leave. he keeps it together until you pick up the girls and take them home, and then he distracts them by putting spongebob on before he pulls you into the utility room and just kisses you until you're lightheaded; he pulls away like "i love you i'm in awe of you and you're so hot that if i don't go down on you in the next two minutes i might die. i'm not even kidding like you ended that stupid cunt. ENDED. sexiest fucking thing i've ever seen. please for the love of god let me make you cum" lol. you're like "you've only got eight minutes until the episode ends and the girls start wandering", and matty lifts you onto the counter and says "plenty of time" and yeah he's right he gets you off with time to spare. i do think the girls are maybe sent off on a last minute sleepover at uncle george's that night, though, lmao, so matty can show his appreciation of you a bit more thoroughly in peace. hot <3

[mallach]

do you. do you have any ideas/theories on how rin could survive/make it to the gay cuck ending -totally anonymous tumblr user

postponed answering this bc it took me a bit to roll the idea around in my head. obligatory 'my character interpretations are firmly rooted in canon but still, like, extrapolating reasonably and prone to my horny tragedy-fetish bastard inclinations'

VERY difficult to come up with feasible theories given 'rin survives' is an inherently story-altering event in the context of shikis route and 'rin and shiki stop fighting (or rin gets somehow dragged into a situation like akira)' would require a lot of character development by proxy of rin and shiki fundamentally misunderstanding eachother.

i would have to play rin's route again (and shikis. and nanos) to get an exact gauge but from what i recall shiki is, in a bizarre way, 'caring' towards rin but i always assumed it was coming from a place of 'hardening' him. tough love. granted fucking 'I assault and kill all my problems' shiki isn't gonna be anywhere near emotionally intelligent enough to realize his nagging obsession over rin is an obsession (and more importantly a possessive one. i might be a lunatic misremembering but it did ABSOLUTELY come off [TO ME] like shiki was jealous of akira alongside being disappointed in rin).

rins pretty easy and doesn't really necessitate a paragraph like he has blonde twink BPD its fucking joever for him. over emotional little cuck was not built for sigma edit shiki. ill add that i personally prefer to headcanon that rin 'maturing' in his good end is him emulating shiki's 'cool' stoicism and complete refusal of cognitive empathy rather than rin really growing and moving on from shiki. outwardly seems fine but in my heart hes still having white girl meltdowns in private.

ANYWAYS. LOTS OF PREAMBLE! in my ideal world rin's emulation of shiki would start much earlier and lead to a gradual, self-destructive spiral into 'fearlessness'. what appeals akira to shiki in the first place is akiras lack of fear & will to fight in the face of it and i do NOT think rin is capable of being anywhere near as comparatively normal as tsundere 'just some guy trying his best' akira.

what makes most sense to me is their confrontation ending in a similar way to what leads to the shikiaki route (fighting and refusing to back down & showing no fear etc etc) with my personal preference being that he DOESNT lose like little bitch [affectionate] akira and instead reaches a standstill against shiki. neither side really wins

my deranged brain is speaking rn (maybe) but from how oddly morose shiki is after cutting rin into sashimi i like to think thats the ideal end shiki would've wanted. rin lets go of his fear, attachment and by extension anyone else but shiki, and becomes as emotionally detached as shiki is.

again i doubt shiki is aware he wants that and doubly doubt he would (or could) even ENTERTAIN the idea that rin dying is something that would make him sad. emotion is a weakness etc etc.

anyways. neither side really wins -> they end up teaming-up-but-not-really, in the sense that they're both freak bloodthirsty bastards who are TOTALLY not obsessed with eachother its COINCIDENCE that they keep engaging in swordfight foreplay. akira still being included in this is deeply funny i know hes getting fucking tossed around like a ragdoll between rin & shiki.

putting aside all my actual character analysis aside i think demure rin in the too-big shirt like akira has making out with akira sloppy style while waiting for their wife to come back from whatever the fuck his cunty dictator job implies would be hottest. but. my storytellers soul struggles to see a story where a mindbroken rin wouldn't just piss shiki off.

akira gets the advantage of being someone shiki has no real prior entanglement with, or at least nothing NEAR the psychosexual insanity going on with whatever the fuck shiki & rin have.

[saintsenara]

more unhinged pls?

stan shunpike/marge dursley

garrick ollivander/luna lovegood

peter pettigrew/hagrid

minerva mcgonagall/mrs figg

rabastan lestrange/nymphadora tonks

severus snape/pansy parkinson

thank you very much for the ask, anon! although i fear you should consider prison.

marge dursley/stan shunpike

i actually think this does a great disservice to marge, who is a cunty, gender-non-conforming legend who just wants to see the cane used liberally. stan is too basic for someone of her calibre, i fear.

although, since i believe that harry's straight-up wrong about him being under the imperius curse, their - shall we say - right wing political views would probably align...

luna lovegood/garrick ollivander

for my sins, i genuinely back this one. i've explained why here.

rubeus hagrid/peter pettigrew

i'm forced to write this one off as a flop - even though they're canonically both death eaters - because wormtail is so dull, whereas hagrid seems like a great [if chaotic] laugh.

he'd never have won that dragon egg if wormtail was there, for example, because the vibe would have been made so toxic by his sheer presence. hagrid doesn't need that!

arabella figg/minerva mcgonagall

opting to back this on the grounds that mrs figg popping off at mundungus in order of the phoenix would clearly get minerva hot and bothered.

rabastan lestrange/nymphadora tonks

it's a low bar to clear, but given that rabastan's defining character trait is "there", he'd probably manage to be no worse for tonks than the other man of her acquaintance whose name begins r. l.

pansy parkinson/severus snape

pansy is directly involved in many of snape's most egregious cruelties in goblet of fire [for example, when he looks at hermione's hexed teeth and says "i see no difference"] - usually because she's the person who's wavering around a rita skeeter article which provides him with an opportunity to call harry a dickhead.

which, tbh, probably makes them genuinely compatible. being horrible to other people isn't a great interest to have in common... but it's still a common interest.

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

My greatest fear: Julia Roberts

My greatest fear is Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts scares the hell out of me. I have no fucking idea why. Maybe it's because all of the movies she stars in are shit. Maybe it's because she's not good at acting, at all, and yet she DOMINATED the fucking 90's movies section during her heyday. Maybe it's because her smile is so wide (and this is coming from someone who has a VERY wide and creepy smile), and you can tell that it's not natural, there was work done.

It's late at night, and I'm home alone. I should be asleep, but I hear a sound. I go and check it out, nothing is there. I hear someone calling out "Ashhhh", and I assume oh yeah, that's just the sound a heater makes lol, so I go and use the washroom to get a drink because I'm parched and sweaty. I come back, and my closet is open.

I am terrified.

Standing in my closet, grinning her devious, wide, obviously-fake, pearly-white smile, is Julia motherfucking Roberts.

I scream "goddammit Julia Roberts get outta my goddamn closet! Your movies suck!" And she laughs, her fake, cunty southern-belle laugh filled with Midwestern passive-aggressive social cues and malice, and says "Oh Ash, that isn't very nice to say at all! (⊙▽<)~✧" Like she's some second-grade teacher or something. So I call upon the spirits of movie stars from the 1990s, and summon Winona Ryder and Leonardo DiCaprio to banish her from my closet, never to return.

And then I promise myself to never ever watch any Julia Roberts movies ever again.

Except maybe Pretty Woman, because Roy Orbison can distract me long enough from it.

[strawberrijellyfish]

Let's be real for a quick second || Yap No. 2 ੭* ‧₊°

Being for real, I can't believe it's 2025 already. Like, hahaha, what do you mean I'm closer to being twenty than I am to being fifteen? Like what do you mean I'm becoming a senior?! That I have to soon worry about money, politics, jobs, rent, and all of that stuff. What to do you mean that I'll have to save up for a car, that I have to take driving lessons, that I'll have to learn how to set up my own credit card, my own insurance, my own debit card, my own--everything?!! Hello, like. Hahaha, I don't wanna do all that lowkey! I mean, I have to, and I will but just the realization that, hey I'm growing old kinda sucks! It kinds of gives me this, knawing feeling in my chest and makes me feel skitish. Of-course it has it's pros! Like everything else. Like, I get to go out to parties, hangout with my friends outside of school, drink alcohol, all of that but like, I don't know. obviously, life isn't it without it's struggles and responsibility (Responsibility? Omg Take Responsibility. Mouthwashing reference?!!) but it's just so terrifying to think about like hello? If everything goes wrong, I might just have to kick the bucket LOL. Joke, maybe, I don't really know. It's 3:14 in the morning and I guess it's the lack of sleep that's making me think this way but, if you told me 3 years ago that I was still alive, I would have not believed you to be honest. It's crazy, can I actually survive this? Can I actually live through my twenties? I don't know. Hopefully, turthfully, for all my kms jokes, I don't really feel like dying just yet. (Obviously, but yk) I wanna go out and get wasted! I wanna party and dance to the music until I pass out from exhaustion! I wanna have my first kiss! Hell, I wanna have sex!!!! Like. I don't know, I wanna have fun first before I die. It doesn't really matter to me if I die at like, 23 or 24 or 21. As long I had fun moments before that then it's kind of alright to me. Am I afraid of deathly scenarios? Kinda, yeah. Am I afraid of dying? No not really. Kinda crazy, right? I don't know, it's this weird feeling that I have. Sometimes I'd find myself curious on what death feels like and what comes after it, do I actually go to hell? to heaven? Do I reincarnate into--what, an animal? into someone else? Do I wake up in an alternative universe as myself before I make a life-changing decision? Do I wake up in a completely different universe with powers or magical creatures? Like My Hero, or Pokemon, or FairyTail or Inuyasha or whatever. Or do I just, stay in this Earth as some kind of Ghost, as some kind of spirit? I don't know, and that's what sometimes driving me insane. All of us have different beliefs on what happens after death and it's amazing yet scary. I don't wanna burn forever, that's a fate that terrifies me. A fear that will always be ingrained into me, as I was raised in a Catholic-Christian household. Do I believe in God? I honestly, feel conflicted about it. I feel, obligated to. With everyone telling me, y'know. Believe in God, he'll help you! So like, I kinda feel like I have to believe in him otherwise I'll just, I don't really know. Hahaha, I know no-one will really read this, but lowkey, the thought of just suddenly dying and having no-one to remember you unless you did something historically messed up or you do something historically heroic kind of fucks me up a bit. Like, haha, wdym I'm just going to disappear and be forgotten? That's the most--scariest shit ever in my opinion!! Because I'm not doing either of those things, that's for sure. As much as I want to play the aesthetic, cool-cute, baddass cunty main character, I just know--y'know I'm not going to be-- that historic or whatever. The 'Bringing back 2020' trend kind of made me realize that.

[nicawlette]

🎼✨🖤⚡

SONG ASSOCIATIONS » ACCEPTING

🎼 A song that reminds me of my muse’s vibes

attention — newjeans ( this remix especially )

ever since i heard this remix i've been looking for any excuse to say that it makes me think of nicolette in every conceivable way. it's very cunt and very her.

미묘 — yezi

the vibes are don't care, didn't ask + i'm better than you. i love the arrogance and superiority of it all, and the fact that it has such an upbeat but also sexy vibe to it. ❛ even if i mumble you can hear me so clearly, i'm the best at making you mad ❜ it's very nicolette, even the singer's mannerisms and style.

✨ A theme song for my muse

GOOD ENEMY — PVRIS

i think this song really encapsulates nicolette's self-destructive nature and self-loathing. it's both in a metaphorical sense, like a statement on how she views herself, but also the literal sense of her blood powers, which require physical harm to be used. ❛ i hold the knife by the blade, 'cause I know how to take the pain ❜ like the mistreatment she endured as a child, this is another kind of pain she's grown accustomed to, enough to not even give it a second thought, even if it hurts. ❛ I don't want peace, I would rather bleed, all the misery loves company, and I can't break free ❜ things like dying alone and being filled with regret but without a cure are stated very bluntly in the song too, as if indisputable and accepted fact. but there's also a kind of pride in it, almost like bragging. ❛ i love a good enemy, and baby, it's me ❜ embracing the chaos even while it brings you suffering.

🖤 A song for our muses’ ship

INVU — taeyeon

ummmmm this song makes me scream cry and throw up over wangyico. i have listened to it so many times doing replies it's sickening. the themes about loving someone you're not supposed to or who you know will eventually leave. ❛ falling in love, to you i'm just an option. you and i were different from the beginning ❜. but even if you know something is only gonna end badly, you can't help how you feel. ❛ even if i push you away, i can't beat you. even i abandon myself and lose myself more ❜ ❛ it hurts but i can't stop it, so when you leave, please make it easy ❜ hey. what if i died?

ISLAND — youha

ON A HAPPIER NOTE i love this song for them too. the lyrics are so tender and romantic, about being someone's safe place. being the person they can be their truest self with. ❛ take me to a place where there's only you and only me, sometimes. I'm not afraid, everything is a paradise that began between you and me ❜ if that sentiment isn't the very foundation of nicolette and wang yi's bond then i don't know what is!!! they are the 1 person the other can be fully real and open in front of without any fear of shame or rejection!!! they are each other's island!!!

⚡ A song that my muse would listen to

HEAT — tove lo , BRAND NEW BITCH — COBRAH

nicolette especially like loud, cunty music that she can dance to in a club

[gratisdiamanten]

related to previous anon: favourite jos fits lookbook?

You of course know my answers but I'll share anyway:) under the cut bc there's many.

Not a fit but I really love the cream white and the red on him it's a lovely contrast and brings out the flush in his face in a way that's flattering and less tomato-ey

This just feels cunty.... okay country boy (not the high quality image I've posted so go back in my jv tag to see the clean one). Shitty colors on this flannel but this is unironically what I wore for most of my latter years of high school. So I'm partial. What is he doing buttoning the top button though. Okay altar boy

Black fireproof 11/10 no notes. I know this isn't a hit with you PERSONALLY Josie but jos voice ah lijk it zo,

Outcunted Michael I fear... this is absolutely the best one

This is kind of camp in like, an early 00s Old Navy catalogue way

[vulcajes]

i dont know if this is somethignu want but can u twll me about ur pandora headcannons

only if u want tho

I would love nothing more than to

How I see her:

There are two sides to Pandora: actually fucking unhinged and logical, reasonable scientist. She's so insane and genuinely mentally unwell it isn't funny. But also if you even try to sell her on something illogical she'd rip you to shreds (physically or verbally is yet to be determined). Naturally curious but also has a very strange intuition and just Knows what studies to follow. She truly is the duality of man. The true mover in silence, actually. Nobody knows what the fuck she's up to at any given moment and they never will until it's too late. Very soft-spoken, though (it hides her true evil intentions). Let Pandora Be More Fucked Up 2025.

My fave hcs:

A Rosier/Evan's twin (I also like her being hc'd as a Lovegood and Xeno took her name but also... the aesthetic possibilities of her being a Rosier....)

Not a seer but had wild, untameable magic that was very easy to get out of control

Prefers potions because of the above point and also because it's more logical

Massive animal lover (especially butterflies and creepy crawlies), would NEVER experiment on animals (humans, however...)

Very interested in bizarre and unusual things, especially things that can't be explained. She will find an explanation.

Strangely flexible, considered running away to be an acrobat in the circus for funsies

Loved decorating her hair and doing crazy things with it as her self-expression

The majority of the school was freaked out by her/saw her as a complete weirdo. The rest were enamoured with her.

Her bedframe is made out of human bones btw (no she doesn't think she needs therapy)

Speaks several languages (English, Afrikaans, Italian, Spanish, French, etc) but none of them entirely fluently

My fave ships:

Xenodora — one of the cutest canon ships ever, I fear. Xeno is her test subject and he regales her with his conspiracy theories <3

Pandorcas — underrated wlw ship that deserves all the love ever. It's so fucking cunty I love them.

Bartydora — they're both unhinged but in very different ways. Their friendship is so powerful and they get each other on such a bizarre level

The Polycule — okay... hear me out... Lyall x Hope, Pandora x Dorcas, Pandora x Lyall, Hope x Dorcas, Pandora x Hope and QPR Dorcas & Lyall... they're so insane and wonderful

Marydora — very normal(tm) popular girl and an absolute freak. Weird Girl by mommy long legs coded I refuse to explain this further.

Sydora — they're both freaks together and I love that for them. Wonderful for gay people that they exist. They experiment together and on each other <3

Pandoreline — Pandora's innate intelligence and Emmeline crashing out trying to be anything like her... Emmeline trying to pretend Pandora is popular so she can justify liking her... yes.

Rosier twincest — LISTEN I DO NOT SUPPORT INCEST DO NOT FUCK YOUR SIBLINGS I simply have a lot of unhinged moots and I do love gothic horror/unsettling aesthetics

(PS everyone say thank you to @evanorphia for colouring my view of Pandora as heavily as they did)