#fear and loathing summer 2025

[negativegrl]

too weird to live, too rare to die

[firespirited]

Personal 2024

By may, i'd had some serious falling outs with sis and that just cemented in June. After my mental break she independently chose to go back on some meds. I've attempted to patch things up (but cautiously on my end) since June-July. A lot remains unsaid and unresolved.

Same for my relationship with mum. It's not deep any more because the trust is gone but I'm attempting to do my best on this side of things. She crossed boundaries in several ways. That said, I don't spiral over it as much any more.

Our main carer had been on the verge of burnout for over a year, being more erratic and with odd emotional outbursts but it was still a shock when she gave 3 days notice and just left. We've been scrambling to find a replacement since and ended up leaving the agency because they wanted to send a different person per day which means re-explaining everything and no follow through. Two carers is the maximum chaos we can handle.

S became the main helper and has been fantastic but she's got health issues and a complicated life. She seems interested in taking the hours but we won't know for sure for at least a week or so. yeah it's over. Joined yet another agency.

In the uncertainty, I fell through the cracks in 2023 and somehow I've ended back there again. I'm determined to not get in the mess I was this spring-summer. Finding your voice is hard. I regained some medical autonomy at the very least.

I've been forcing myself to go on walks even if Lily the dog can't, if only for rebuilding my back muscles and the time to myself, no internet no nothing. It's taught me that I don't actually hate myself, i despise how I'm perceived at times and the emotional ruts I'm pushed into -- time with myself or meeting other people has got me not hating what I am as a person. Huge progress.

Sis snapped her ankle, spent two weeks in and out of hospital with many misadventures and has slow healing on the bone. She's been the main priority. It's been a lot.

Sulpiride has been a game changer for my gut problems. I still keep to low fat food but don't have to fear violent cramps that disrupt my sleep. 2025 is going to be about finding the right dose.

This was also the year of the migraine : it was behind my exaggerated sense of doom and overwhelming self loathing. I got a cat scan, did detailed symptom charts and calendars, finally got adequate medication. Now slowly collecting the triggers (weather, low blood pressure, using my arms too much and most importantly, emotional stress) and learning to do preventative rests like never before. I had a mental break, a 40-day migraine that had me thinking my brain was leaking, gained 14kg, had to learn to not keep my hands busy. What a ride.

[yourpixieandbuddy]

Rate (or roast or recommend) My Personal Library

my hope for 2025 is to review and read a book a week…this first week is coming to a close and naturally i have yet to open a book but maybe we’ll slide just one in. all less than savory reads will be donated to my free library on my street 📚

i lost all my personal books i collected over the last fifteen years in an emergency move last summer, so judge lightly

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams

Martyr! - Kaveh Akbar

Little Miss Sunshine: The Shooting Script - Michael Arendt

The Handmaid’s tale - Margaret Atwood

Tuck Everlasting - Natalie Babbitt

New Animal - Ella Baxter

Sleepwalk With Me + Other Painfully True Stories - Mike Birbiglia

The New One: Painfully True Stories From A Reluctant Dad - Mike Birbiglia

Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory - Raphael Bob-Waksberg

World Travel: An Irreverent Guide- Anthony Bourdain

Grace - Daphne A. Brooks

Graffiti (And Other Poems) - Savannah Brown

Closer Baby Closer - Savannah Brown

Love is a Dog From Hell - Charles Bukowski

On Cats - Charles Bukowski

Molly - Blake Butler

Create Dangerously: The Power and Responsibility of the Artist - Albert Camus

Breakfast at Tiffany’s - Truman Capote

To Photograph Is To Learn How To Die - Tim Carpenter

Lewis Carroll’s Guide For Insomniacs - Lewis Carroll

The Awakening and Selected Stories - Kate Chopin

The Alchemist - Paulo Choelho

700 Sundays - Billy Crystal

The Year of Magickal Thinking - Joan Didion

Slouching Towards Bethlehem - Joan Didion

Notes From The Underground - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Crime And Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Wild Things - Dave Eggers

Disrupting The Game - Reggie Fils-Aime

The Interpretation of Dreams - Sigmund Freud

The Book of Delights - Ross Gay

The Anthropocene Reviewed - John Green

The Cult of Trump - Steven Hassan

People We Meet On Vacation - Emily Henry

The Twilight World - Werner Herzog

The Christmas Thief - Mary Higgins Clark

Open Throat - Henry Hoke

The Odyssey - Homer

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson

No One Belongs Here More Than You - Miranda July

The Metamorphosis and Other Stories - Franz Kafka

The Trial - Franz Kafka

Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen

Book of Dreams - Jack Kerouac

Newspaper Blackout - Austin Kleon

Lady Chatterley’s Lover - D.H. Lawrence

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West - Gregory Maguire

From The Basement - Taylor Makarian

Wooly: The True Story of the Quest to Revive History’s Most Iconic Extinct Creatue - Ben Mezrich

Tropic of Cancer - Henry Miller

Tropic of Capricorn - Henry Miller

Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty

My Year of Rest and Relaxation - Ottessa Moshfegh

Memoirs - Pablo Neruda

Fifty Beasts To Break Your Heart and Other Stories - Gennarose Nethercott

The Birth of Tragedy and Case of Wagner - Friedrich Nietzsche

The Twilight of the Idols/Anti-Christ - Freidrich Nietzsche

Zarathustra’s Discourse - Friedrich Nietzsche

The Vulnerables - Sigrid Nunez

Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk

Lullaby - Chuck Palahniuk

A Bathroom Book For People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using The Bathroom As An Escape - Joe Pera

The First Rule Of Punk - Celia C. Perez

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Land That Time Forgot - Edgar Rice Borroughs

Another Roadside Attraction - Tom Robbins

Normal People - Sally Rooney

Franny and Zooey - J.D. Salinger

Nine Stories - J.D. Salinger

The Devil In Massachusetts - Marion L. Satarkey

The Woman In Me - Britney Spears

Little Astronaut - Hope J. Stein

Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer - Patrick Susking

Strange Tales From A Strange Time: Gonzo Papers, Vol 1: The Great Shark Hunt - Hunter S. Thompson

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas: A Savage Journey To The Heart of the American Dream - Hunter S. Thompson

Galapagos - Kurt Vonnegut

The Time Machine - H.G. Wells

John Dies In The End - David Wong

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin

The Private Lives of Adam and Eve - Albert Zugsmith

for reading tax here’s some images of my library/office space 💓📚

[suzey8888]

USA, UK, Africa, EU, Australia et al. LISTEN UP please"

Morning All,,

How many of you want your President or Prime Minister to show you their vaccination record? Booster shots etc? It is my opinion they have all had placebo's and it is time to call them out. If we do this across the planet, those of us who do not want the vaccine will be vindicated. They know what's in it, but to prove to all the nay sayers, this is a time bomb waiting to go off.

Crimes Against Humanity, and mass murder. I've talked until I'm blue in the face, some believe, some don't, but if you don't, it is your life and your right to choose, just don't bleat when all your family start dying. Yes it abrupt, I'm not sure how else I can get through to you. The vaccine was fiddled with by Dr fauci and Bill Gates, who owns his own major laboritory. He paid $2Billion for the vaccines, and has made $220Billion, not a bad years work. They put extras in, like a date of death. 2030. You have 9 years if you are lucky. No matter you were told millions of times, you chose to have that vaccine, and I am truly sorry for you, but in our efforts to get it taken away, your continued acquiescence has stopped us. It has been said that we should avoid those vaccinated because it is lethal. How true that is I have no idea, but lethal it is. if you are worried, start looking for an anti vaxx. It is the only way out for those vaccinated.

Bill Gates has wanted depopulation for years, see TED TALKS, He has bought many thousands of acres of farmland in America to grow vegetables. he wants all beef destroyed because they fart and cause the ozone to seize. Now, what do you eat? Where do you buy it from? You have to have a path way to all of your food, because Gates is not into giving stuff away, but I'm of the mind, if the vaccine doesn't get you, the veg will. Poisoned veg? it's been around for years. Would you truly trust anything from this man? Plus, if shelves run dry, he knows you'll have to go to him, OR GROW YOUR OWN! I did this year and I have everything I need and I don't have a garden set up for food growing so most of it was grown indoors until it got warmer. Anyone can grow seeds.

Also, prepping: Get yourself an Instant Pot, it steams, pressure cooks, sautes rice cooks, soup, and slow cooks. Kilner Jars. Lots of them. Buy your shop and set about prepping your pantry, because if you don't, you will be in big dodoo. Go to "RoseRed Homestead" on YouTube, A professor and an intelligent lady who uses the Instant Pot and others to show you how to preserve everything and how to avoid botulism! Plus many channels giving you recipes. They are on Sale on eBay. I bought mine for £12 but that was sheer luck, but it can be done! They are about £100++++ but there is one for £68 on ebay...

Plus when TSHTF Electric and Gas will fall, it is on the cards now, they are making it so expensive you won't be able to afford it, then they go down. If it happens in America, it happens in the UK, usually within weeks. Buy yourselves a camping stove or 3 that uses cans of gas. as you can use them indoors. Then buy candles, big buggers to show you where you're going. All electrics will need to be dumped, so everything you will need HAS to be in your possession. get a key wind can opener, get huge bags of rice and beans, then build your pantry up one tin at a time, and make sure you are only buying what you like.

Buy a Stove for outside too, summer has gone in the UK, but they are brilliant for cooking large joints and BBQ. Just remember the Wood and brickettes.

We can make it through this, truly we can, but the ways of doing it are harsh.

1) Buy only British. 0 from China.

2) Stop using Facebook and twitter. I mean the planet, let them all know we know who they are.

3) Ask your MP's for proof of their vaccine shot, then ask the Premier. It is your right to know, and if they cannot produce a legitimate one, we'll take that as a no! Placebo's every last effing one of them, I'd bet my last life on it.

I know I'm a gobshite sometimes, it's been said, but my whole life is now spent trying to talk to people about the upcoming tragedy of political power. It's time to bring down our Government, and bring in business men who know how to run a business. Government is business, no matter how you look at it, and very few are in it for the right reasons. Look at Boris, he is a RED, A communist, who would have thought, and he's running our country. He HAS to go, because he is also on a list of names of people who are or were in his case, Satanic Abusers. I found that hard to believe, but communism is all about Satanism, so if you want to help me bring this about, please reply. I won't hold my breath, but it would show some solidarity.

Sadly it is much too late for many, but if you watch all the heads of state, they look worried, and one last point! BORIS Johnson has paid £6 Million pounds for dead body space in 2025. All in the news, you can't have missed it. How does he know there will be dead people in 2025 over the national average? Come on, tell me, because I'm sick of all the sheep telling us to get vaccinated. It sure will be a different world with only 500 million people left, and only white Satanists, or FreeMasons are allowed. Hollywood will be there in his tunnels miles long andf full of opulence. Why tunnels? he is a coward. Rothschild, Soros, Rockefeller, Klauss, Fauci, Gates all under Nuremberg trial for Crimes Against Humanity. They invented Covid to get the vaccine, and then they set the fear abaze, to scare you into vaccine, it's a ploy used for years and you were so daft, you fell for it. I don't mean daft as in ignorant, but there comes a time when you have to look behind the curtain, and Trump, no matter if you love or loathe, he brought all of this into focus and showed us the evil behind EVERY Government.