#fcundaticnsofdecay; everly 5

[darkwants]

despite holding a steady job for as long as he remembered and having occupied the same role at the garage for years, ezra had seldom in his life felt the same sense of purpose that he did when going to the hospital for everly. it provided a surety that he hadn't ever experienced in their relationship and it was such a nice change from how tings were before, the disconnect and apathy of before, and the heartbreak of losing her in the crash. even if it was something as simple as bringing her dinner, he knew what he would be doing on a given day and he knew that he could handle it, that he would be where he was meant to be and doing what he was meant to do - he'd be with everly, taking care of her, and she'd let him.

even though ezra had been at the garage for part of that day, he wasn't oblivious to what everly's schedule looked like after so long. she would have therapy, likely had a shower and while he couldn't be sure, he wouldn't be surprised if her hair had a ribbon in it again. something that was slightly less expected about her day for ezra was that she was outside, a kind nurse that he'd interacted with enough to be in the loop about the family gossip regarding her niece informing him of that development. it wasn't a bad thing, in fact it seemed like a good sign that everly was feeling up to being out without worrying about anyone seeing her and snapping pictures.

plastic wrapped styrofoam container of lasagna in his hands, the bottom of the container was still warm against his palm as he carried it over towards her chair. for him, everly was always easy to pick out and he didn't question when she summoned him over, frowning slightly over the idea that she'd been left out there without anyone to check on her and that she might need something. it was a worry that she easily dispelled when she pulled him into a kiss, ezra having to adjust the lasagna to keep it from falling before bracing a hand on everly's chair and leaning into her.

"seriously?" a smile spreading across his face, ezra wanted to ask if there were qualifiers to that, but decided he didn't care. she'd get to go home, had she called it home even though she'd never been to the place that he'd moved to. she wanted to be there because he was there, it was home because he was there and that was the kind of thing that made ezra's stomach do flips that were better served in the guts of a younger man. "two days, huh? guess i better get ready to rearrange the bedroom for you. gotta make it perfect."

it felt like it had been a lifetime since she had been in the hospital. she had literally had a team of doctors who all had to approve that she was free to go home. there had been so many tests and physical therapy had been incredibly daunting. the infection in her leg was gone but she was still recovering. there had been a few procedures and they wanted to make sure her body was healed from the miscarriage. she knew that her story was also still one of public interest. there had been requests for interviews which she had firmly declined.

that morning she had been told that by the end of the week she was going to be released. they knew that she had someone who would look out for her. that she didn't have to worry about stairs or anything along those lines. she had to use either crutches or a wheelchair since she wasn't fully able to put weight on her leg. she was almost relieved that it was a morning that she was alone. ezra had to go to the garage and she had told her grandma that she needed to take it easy. the both of them had been a constant since she had been rescued.

she had gone to physical therapy and had been helped with getting herself clean. her grandma had been bringing her clothes to avoid the hospital gowns. she was wearing a silk button up pajama top that was oversized so it came a few inches above her knees. her legs were covered by one of her grandma's quilts and she had asked to be taken outside. she had gotten a text from ezra that he was on his way and he was bringing her dinner. she had been craving lasagna and her dietry restrictions were finally eased up.

the nurse had promised to send him outside when he arrived. she had been enjoying the warmth coming from the sun when she heard footsteps. it took her a few moments to figure out how to wheel the chair around so she was facing him," ezra," she breathed, motioning for him to come closer. he seemed concerned but he was doing as she asked. she reached to pull him down only to cup his face and pull him into a kiss," i almost called to tell you but i wanted to wait for you to be here," she breathed," i get to go home in two days!"

[darkwants]

it was still so strange to see everly crying, to see her so blatantly bleeding emotion when it felt like he needed to fight tooth and nail for any scrap of reaction from her before. he'd always wanted to see her expressing some kind of feeling and now that he did, it almost felt like he was stealing it because ezra knew damn well the only reason she was that she couldn't control it after everything that she'd been through. she was melting down because of external stressors, not because she trusted him to see it.

but at least she knew that he'd protect her, and ezra wanted to think that counted for something as he kept his arms locked around her, not sure what would be the most soothing to her. kissing her hair? rubbing at her back? he tried both, at a loss for what to do when he had the feeling that the only thing that would help was undoing the past nine months of her life. barring that, make sure that no one came near her with a phone or camera seemed like it would be the safest option.

"i've got you. you want to get better wrapped up in the blanket? or maybe me get you another one?" if they were at home and she was scared, he probably would have wrapped her in a blanket and given her cocoa, maybe put on a movie or read a book. he realized suddenly he had no idea if everly liked books that didn't have recipes in them and he wasn't sure if she liked those or if she'd consider it an insult to think she needed a cookbook.

no need to dwell on that, and no time for it either with the way everly was crying, curling herself against him and resting her head against his chest. "you're not fucked up, honey." ezra said without hesitation as he reached to help pull up the blanket. "you're scared after going through a situation that was fucked up and that sounds pretty human to me." it was strange to hear everly call him sir because that was something that felt like it had faded away long before she got on that flight, but ezra also thought it was telling about her mental state and just how broken her barriers were at the moment.

"i'm not leaving you, okay? i swear. i'm going to be right here with you." ezra promised her soothingly, reaching to tug the ribbon carefully out of her hair so he could start to card his fingers through it, petting her in an attempt to held everly calm down. "i'm not going to leave you alone and i won't let anything get you. you can go to sleep and you'll still be right here with me when you wake up, i promise."

there was only one thing that she was certain of at that moment and it was that she needed ezra. in the back of her mind she knew that before the crash she wouldn't have dared even think such a thing. after months of living in the wild, not knowing what the future held, she knew she had so much adjusting to do. even in that hallway in the hospital when someone had been trying to get a good shot of her, she wanted ezra. granted she knew that if he had been there it was likely some sort of fight might have broken out.

her breathing was staggered as she continued to cling to him. it was nothing short of a miracle that she was even able to speak. she knew that he likely was going to have to get used to her emotions going from one extreme to the next. she had spent months with everything being unpredictable. that was probably going to still remain the case given what had happened. she still was trying to process the fact that she was in the hospital with all the bright lights and a real bed. she inhaled sharply as sobs continued to wrack through her.

she barely heard when he uttered a thank you to the nurse. what she did hear was the door shutting which meant that they were finally alone. that felt like an utter relief as he began to shift. she realized he was going to lean back and pulling her with him. his movements were careful and she was unwilling to let him go," i-i know," she breathed," i know i'm safe-here-i'm safe with you." god help anyone who was stupid enough to come into her room that wasn't family or staff. everly found herself curling up, thankful she was laying on her good side.

her head lifted from his neck and she reached with her shaking hand to try to wipe at the tears. god she had never realized what it meant to feel so truly tired. everly didn't think twice about it as she reached to rest her head against his chest. her ear pressing right against where his heart was as she found herself focusing on the sound," i'm-i'm trying," she promised," i'm so-so fucked up, aren't i?" she didn't dare look up towards his face as she reached for the quilt to tug it up over her shoulder, wanting to be hidden," don't-don't let me go, please sir? please don't." it didn't dawn on her what she had just called him. even before the crash it had been ages but it almost felt natural in that moment.

she wasn't even concerned with the scans that had been done. all she knew was that she wanted to fall asleep in his arms where she knew she was secure and safe. she was relieved that the sobs seemed to have stopped but a few tears were still falling. she found herself still listening to the sound of his heart as she focused on taking deep breaths.

[darkwants]

moving hadn't seemed like a big deal when he thought that everly was dead - it had been almost a welcome chance when she haunted so much of the house. there was the bed with the sheets he'd bought because he thought she'd like something softer than what was usually on his bed, and because he thought the color looked good against her skin. there was the backsplash he'd started to put up in the kitchen because even if he'd grown to hate his kitchen, he'd wanted it to be nice for her so that she'd be happy in it. there was the shoe rack for shoes when you entered the house, because one of the guys at the shop had told him once about his wife always complaining about him kicking his shoes everywhere. he could have gotten rid of the shoe rack, ripped out the backsplash, and changed the sheets, but ezra still would have had those memories with him, so instead he packed everything up, sold the house, and kept certain things that reminded him of everly boxed away under the excuse of not having much room.

but he'd find room now. things could be switched up and changed around, and he'd never really unpacked much beyond the essentials anyway, it would be easy to start to make the place feel like somewhere that everly could call home. maybe then it would feel like a home. "it's closer to your grandma, makes it easier to keep an eye on her." he hadn't actually expected her to ask why he moved, but ezra couldn't think of a reason not to tell her the truth. "i think you'll like it. like i said, it's smaller, but it's newer." he wouldn't be worried about everything looking outdated or old fashioned or embarrassing for her, so at least the place had that going for it.

"i can understand it feeling surreal. had a few instances of that myself with all this." being told her plane had disappeared, and not being able to believe that she was on it, having that cliche moment of 'but that's the kind of thing that happens to other people'. being told that she was dead and he had to accept it without a body, without being able to say goodbye. being told after all of that, everly was alive. but she was alive and real, the sound of her sniffling was something that ezra couldn't have made up if he tried and he made a shushing noise like you'd use to soothe a child as he held onto her tightly.

he didn't get the chance to tell everly that he wouldn't leave, the door opening up and cutting through their moment. head going up, ezra was ready to tell the hospital staff that they needed a moment and that after everly had been stuck in the wild for nine months, they could damn well give her another nine minutes, but the words died in his throat when he realized it was everly's grandma. instead he turned almost frozen, not moving or trying to explain why everly was crying as her grandma drew closer and rested a hand on him. "oh." he was going to do that, really. "guess we'll see you tomorrow." he would have walked her down, but he didn't want to leave everly even for that period of time after she'd asked him not to, and he started to rub everly's back, somehow feeling content in that moment as everly burrowed back against him.

he waited until everly's grandma was gone to drop a kiss against everly's hair, murmuring quietly against her head, "i'll call into work tomorrow, okay? i'll explain to arthur what's going on and it will be fine. i won't have to leave you, okay? and when they come to take you for your scans, i'll still be right here waiting when you get back." he didn't know if he was allowed to go for the scans or not, but at the very least, he could stay with her in her room. all she'd needed to do was ask and ezra caved to give her what she wanted, but then, he'd always tried to give everly that even if it didn't seem like it.

"you moved?" she asked, almost unsure how to process the news. of course she understood that life had to go on while she was presumed dead. yet the idea of ezra moving hadn't crossed her mind even once. even before they had been found she had imagined the house that they had lived in together. the comfort of the bed or even soaking in that damn tub with the heated towel rack. of course she knew that he hadn't done it to hurt her but she felt so conflicted. maybe he couldn't stomach the reminders in the home of her or of how broken they had been living in that house. she was almost scared to ask but the word was out of her mouth before she could take it back," why?"

he was already reassuring her that they would make room for whatever she opted to bring over. truly she knew that she was going to become overwhelmed in so many different ways. there were going to be so many things that she was going to need to wrap her head around. however, everly knew, what was important was that she was back and she was with the people who mattered. she was on the road to recovery even if she knew she was practically at the very beginning.

"maybe," she agreed, not knowing how many of the others were there. everly remembered how wren and her had both been screaming and crying as they were wheeled into the hospital. they had been clinging to each other's hands before they were pulled apart," it all just feels so surreal." even though she knew that it wasn't a dream that she had been found it still felt like it was. perhaps that was why she was becoming so worked about the idea of ezra not being there. she sniffled, already struggling to hold the tears back," i kn-i know you're here but i don't-i can't-you can't leave me, not again, please."

before she could say more she realized she heard the door opening. all that made her do was bury her face in ezra's neck even though it was her grandmother coming in. the older woman was toddling over and seemed surprised when she saw the two in the bed. everly knew she should say something but she didn't want to look up. her grandma was going to gently place her hand on ezra's shoulder," i was speaking with the staff, they are going to have to take her for some scans later but its best i be heading home, i'll be back in the morning, they already called me a cab." that caused everly's head to lift and her grandma was smiling down at her. for some reason the blonde couldn't say anything but she tried to smile back only to burrow against ezra once again.

[darkwants]

huffing out a laugh, ezra nodded along, far too easily imagining everly's grandma doing that. "i can believe that." she'd certainly seemed capable of whipping him into shape, but in all fairness, ezra also thought that chances were both he and everly's grandma had needed a distraction in that time, waiting to see if anyone would be recovered, and then dealing with the aftermath of accepting that she was dead. this showed what they all knew, everly had come back to them, and he wasn't entirely convinced it wasn't because she was stubborn and obstinate and she hadn't agreed to them labeling her as dead yet. for as much as everly had made him want to scream and slam doors and break things, he had to admit that he was grateful for her stubbornness at least this once.

flipping through channels, ezra was tempted to just leave it on the weather if he couldn't find anything else, but he knew that wasn't exactly the most attention grabbing content even if it was mild and inoffensive. it seemed an especially good pick after flipping past naked and afraid - he wasn't going to say that would be more traumatic than the news, but that seemed right up there with things that everly didn't need to watch. kid's show. william shatner, for some reason. unsolved crimes, that was a pass. commercial. medical show, maybe not considering that she was in a hospital. there, a reality tv show, which would likely be full of meaningless drama and shallow people and hopefully wouldn't have anything in it that would bother her.

"okay, hopefully that should be good." he said, setting the remote back down and looking around the room as if looking for an excuse to stay longer, but he couldn't see anything and besides, she should have a nurse call button or something. people checking in on her to make sure that she was okay, things like that. she'd survived without him for nine months and now she was in a hospital, but he was acting like he was necessary, how idiotic. "i'm going to go find your grandma, i'll be right back." at least he hoped he would be, and ezra paused at the door to look back at everly and offer a smile before slipping out of the room and heading directly for the nurse's desk. he didn't know if he'd find everly's grandma there or not, but he could make sure the nurse's had his number just in case anything happened.

there were countless things that were going to need to be taken care of. yet everly couldn't bring herself to focus on anything besides her health. yet her situation was rather unique given the circumstances. she didn't have parents to handle things and her grandfather was gone. that left her grandmother who was still very sharp minded but she shouldn't be burdened with any of it. however she knew that she didn't want ezra to be worrying about a million and one little things. he likely hadn't been anticipating her return and everything that would come with it.

yet he also seemed to be coming up with some sort of plan. at the very least he was anticipating everything. she knew that everything was going to be different. the only thing that she was sure of was that she didn't want their relationship to be like it was. the strain had been about to break them. that was why she wasn't holding back and reaching to pull him into a kiss. that was not something she would have done before but now she didn't care. affection was something that had not come easy to her but everything was incredibly different.

"thank you," she breathed, knowing that at one point she had, had his number memorized. yet there were a lot of things that were fuzzy. she was relieved to hear that he didn't intend on them being gone long," she's probably bossing around the staff or trying to get me better pillows." she knew how her grandmother could be but she appreciated it. especially since she used to be that way. she glanced towards ezra as he picked up the remote. he was flipping through the channels and she was relieved he didn't stop on the news.

only because she knew that the story was likely everywhere. the last thing that she wanted was to relive everything. she had been told there were some people who wanted to speak with her. something that she doubted she would be ready for anytime soon. instead she just intended on focusing on the things that mattered. her head tilted down to look towards her hands. she glanced back up towards him as he seemed to not know what to land on," reality tv might be good, nice and mind numbing." she knew that usually reality tv was anything but actual reality. in everly's case it probably wasn't a bad thing.

[darkwants]

it wasn't exactly a mystery just where everly had gotten her stubborn and hardheaded personality after dealing with her grandmother for the past few months and while things hadn't always been easy, at least they'd also never been so bad that the woman decided he wasn't allowed to look out for her anymore. she also apparently trusted him enough to leave him with everly and even encourage him to see everly again, which was probably the biggest sign of trust and approval that you could get from the woman, if ezra had to guess. of course, just because ezra had somehow won her approval over didn't mean that ezra had any idea how long everly would be okay with him being there. he wasn't convinced that wasn't something with a timer attached and he wasn't convinced that everly was going to be that easily appeased once she moved into the new house, either.

"just add more, huh? like what? posters of fondue fountains? a big, flat screen tv? fairy lights?" that first offer was a joke, the second one curious, but the third was absolutely serious. how much light had been out there where she crashed? it seemed like if they'd been able to see the glow of a city, they would have tried to make it in that direction, so chances were they only had the stars overhead and if everly woke up in darkness, she might think she was there again. so many not fairylights above the bed, but a nightlight or something wouldn't go amiss, leaving the bathroom door open a crack or something like that. he'd seen a commercial recently for no leak skylight installation, which would be an interesting feature, but only if a view of the sky didn't freak everly out and make her forget she was under a roof.

no matter how lighthearted he wanted to be for her, reality kept creeping in and ezra soon found himself frowning, wanting to ask just what she thought she could possibly be interrupting or what on earth she thought he had going on that could be more important than her. it didn't make any sense, but he didn't get the chance to ask as they were interrupted. the words vanished from his tongue as ezra made eye contact with the nurse or physician's assistant or whatever the guy dressed in scrubs was and ezra found himself being kissed again by everly before he slipped off the bed. "i'll be here when you get back," ezra said, assuming she had to be terrified to be so affectionate.

he didn't know how long her test was going to take, but he took the time to step out and talk to someone at the desk about him staying. maybe it was because of the fuss she'd made earlier before he got there or maybe everly's grandma said something prior, but there wasn't any issue with him staying - he was told about the couch expanding and about needing a code to get back in at certain times, which would be fine by ezra. he could survive needing a code and sleeping on a couch, although he had a suspicion he may end up propped up in everly's bed for the night.

regardless, he was back in the room and had set the tv on some gameshow to wait for everly in just a short amount of time, extra pillows brought by a nurse filling the chair behind him. hospitals were always so cold and he wondered if it felt even worse to everly because of her time spent lost. would that be prying, veering too close to a sensitive subject too soon? he didn't know, and he was about to give the answer to a jeopardy question when he heard the door, the sound of crying accompanying it.

"what the hell happened?" there was a tinge of outrage in his voice, something perhaps went noticed as ezra quickly pushed up from the chair, a pillow falling to the floor as the guy tried to get everly back in place, talking about security and cameras and everly being infamous. they weren't fucking guarding her, they weren't paying attention. so much for confidentiality and privacy, ezra thought, barely giving the guy time to get the bed secure before reaching for everly, giving her the contact she was reaching for. "did they say anything to you, honey? what happened?" he didn't want to hear it from the guy, he wanted to hear it from everly because unless the nurse said something about confiscating phones and smashing them to protect everly and the others, he wasn't interested in hearing it.

"thank you," she said, the words were out before she could process that. she had worried about her grandma as well as ezra in her time away. she had thought about how she had been the primary caretaker for her before that flight. the one who took her to appointments, grocery shopping, to her weekly crochet circle. she had just hoped that someone would do it. she hadn't imagined that ezra would be so willing but she was incredibly grateful. she couldn't help but laugh a little at the mention of how it wasn't always appreciated," she can be stubborn when she wants to be."

something that she knew already that she had gotten from her. however it was something that had come in handy in those nine months. there had been more than a few times when she wanted to give up. that she figured it would be so easy to just lay down and not move. if she had done that, she knew that she wouldn't be where she was. it was likely her family would have been getting told that she was deceased. she pushed that thought from her mind at what he uttered next. an amused look appeared on her face," i am not going to make you rearrange everything, just add to it if anything."

she knew already that he was being serious. things were clearly shifted in a direction that was unexpected. she had no clue why she felt compelled to apologize. it felt like she had rocked his world in so many different ways in a short span of time. his scruff was teasing the palm of her hand as she cupped his jaw. she realized that he was confused as he spoke. her face flushed as she realized that he had called her honey. it was just one of the many things that she had missed. her gaze met with his as she inhaled sharply," you went through so much with thinking i was dead and now i'm not and you probably have-have so much going on and i'm just throwing a wrench in it."

the sound of voices outside and the rolling of wheels made her sigh. yet her attention was fully on him as he spoke, nodding," thank you." her lips parted to say something else but there was a knock and a rather cheerful looking guy walking in. he seemed to look at ezra and then her before walking over. everly knew that ezra had to move but she pulled him into a kiss again without thinking. after it ended and ezra had gotten off, she was being carted off to get an MRI done. they wanted to see how much damage had been done and see if what they were doing was working.

she did her best to listen and stay in the position that they wanted. yet she had felt frazzled being in an enclosed space. she tried to tamper down the panic by thinking of ezra. he was going to be waiting for her when she was done. she forced herself to take deep breaths as she realized that they had just told her that she was done. she found herself being moved back to the bed and soon she was being wheeled out of the room. the hospital felt like it was it's own little town. there were so many different floors, elevators that only went to certain ones etc.

they were waiting on the elevator when she heard a rushed voice whisper," she's one of them! one of the people from that flight!" instantly alarms went off in the back of her head and she heard the nurse gasp. there was the flash of a camera and more of the staff came running. they ended up forming somewhat of a shield as security tried to cart the guy off. she was frozen, crying as they managed to get her into the elevator. her chest heaved with every breath she took as she felt how she was trembling. someone was saying something to her but she couldn't focus. all she was thinking was that her face was going to be broadcast all over. her body wracked with sobs as she was taken into her room.

she couldn't even form words as the nurse seemed to realize ezra had waited. the man was instantly informing him of the incident as everly blindly reached for him the second that her bed was back in place," they-they said this wouldn't happen! they lied!"

[darkwants]

an infection that spread. an infection that spread. for a moment, ezra had forgotten that her wounds didn't work in just one direction, that she didn't just get hurt and then heal, if perhaps badly. it hadn't occurred to him that she could have gotten hurt and then it got worse. it was a foolish sentiment, to think that the worst thing to happen to her was the crash itself, everly had to survive in those connections and now she was paying the price for them. what would they even do if the infection made it to the bone? remove the bone and replace it with some metal rod? remove her leg? somehow the severity of the issue hadn't hit ezra until that moment, as if he'd been so overwhelmed by everly being found alive that he thought everything would be easy after that point. maybe easy for him, but not easy for her.

there was a lot that ezra could do. he could fix a dislocated shoulder, he could probably sew someone up, he could wrap someone with gauze, he knew how to use superglue on cuts - hell, he even knew that you could shove a tampon in a bullet wound to help keep it from bleeding, but he didn't know how to stop an infection from getting to a bone. for that, he'd have to trust that her doctors deserved their medical degrees and wait for them to give everly back to him so he could fuss over her at home. "sounds like i better stock back up on tea." he'd given it all to her grandma, he thought, but he'd go buy twelve different flavors to make her happy.

she had an infection. that wasn't great, but she was alive, and an infection shouldn't kill her. especially not now that she had proper medical support. focusing on his breathing, ezra nodded and reminded himself that everly had gotten this far. she could do it. with the medical team done, ezra helped make sure that she was tucked in and wondered if he could track down a nurse or doctor later to ask what he'd need to do to get ready for her to leave. did he need to get a special diet for her? a bench for the shower? medical supplies for her leg? he wanted to be ready whenever they let her out and it would be a good way to keep his mind busy.

leaning over, ezra pressed a kiss to everly's forehead since it sounded like he was about to leave her side for a while and he hadn't kissed her goodbye before he lost her. he hadn't known she would disappear, of course, but that wasn't the point. kisses hello and goodbye were just another casualty of their dying intimacy and he wanted to fix that. "i'll find her. but if she wants to go home and get some things for you, she may need a ride. you okay with that?"

already she knew that she should be grateful that she had survived. after all there were so many who hadn't. yet she knew that surviving meant that she was going to be facing quite a bit of challenges. the biggest was likely her leg since she knew that it hadn't healed right. she remembered how she had wanted to take the glass from her leg right when s he had realized it was there. yet she knew thanks to the some basic first aid knowledge that she had to keep it in because it was stopping all the bleeding. there were so many people who were worse off given their injuries. however she couldn't help but have a bit of pity party to a point.

she could hear ezra asking questions with the nurse and the doctor. of course it didn't click with her why he was watching so closely to what they were doing. she just figured that he wanted to know exactly what was wrong. the nurse was still trying to make sure that she was calm even as the packing was removed and replaced," she has an infection that spread throughout her leg, we want to give it time but we also want to make sure it doesn't go to the bone, she'll have another procedure to get the rest out and close her up." something that everly remembered hearing them say even when she had been in and out of it.

the blonde was clinging to ezra's hand even as they finished up. she knew already that he was likely worried. from their time together before she knew how much he hated hospitals. yet he was standing right there and allowing her to squeeze the life out of his hand. she couldn't help but smile slightly even with the pain she was in," can't wait for that." she knew already that she was going to be stuck taking it easy which truly sounded like what she needed. she found herself taking deep breaths as he asked her about what she had said," there might be some pieces in there but there is an infection."

she found herself nodding slowly as she tugged the blankets further up. the last thing that she wanted was to keep looking at her leg. she reached for his hand again and took a deep breath," thank you," she told him with a grateful smile," i know you'll be here with me when i get out." she just hoped that it truly was sooner rather than later," if you don't mind? though i think she's probably going to want to go home to grab me some things." the staff had let them know she was able to have personal things brought for her comfort.

[darkwants]

once, it would have been so easy for ezra to picture everly saying the opposite, insisting that he leave, go away, just get out of her life and leave her alone. likely with more tact than that, but things had been bad between them and eventually things would have come to a head. but what happened to everly with the plane crash was something you couldn't predict for, it had been excision of their relationship and instead of healing, it festered, a wound that it seemed neither of them ever properly healed from. ezra knew why he had trouble moving past it and he could guess why everly was having problems. he was one of the few people she knew, she needed comfort and support, maybe she even was hoping that he'd be better at arguing with doctors than her grandma.

but it didn't matter why everly wanted him around, ezra didn't plan on leaving her that easily when she'd somehow managed to come back to him and sounded like she wanted him in a way that ezra doubted she ever had before. maybe want was the wrong word, maybe she needed him there as an anchor after everything, but it still didn't matter. she had him, and ezra tried to make sure that he didn't hurt her as he stayed close. there were ivs and bandages and he didn't know how bad any of it was, but he wasn't about make it worse by popping stitches or accidentally wiggling a needle in her arm. he didn't even know everything that was wrong with her, but his mind could come up with problems easily enough. dehydration, malnutrition, infections, bacterial and fungal issues, maybe parts of her flesh were even rotting for all he knew. god, she could have fucking scurvy for all he knew, but they'd manage to get through it.

"it's okay," he promised, trying to keep her calm and everly continued to sob, some machine beeping nearby. her heart, maybe? he didn't know, but if she wanted him to forgive her for leaving because she was upset, he did. she'd paid enough for that. "It's okay, i forgive you." his gentle murmurs were interjected into her gasping explanation of how she lost it, and he assumed she meant her patience, her calm, anything but what she really meant.

he didn't meant to, but ezra froze as the words processed, his hand stilling on her back and the shock written all over his face. he hadn't known she was pregnant, could have sworn that she'd mentioned getting a shot before, so he hadn't even known it was a risk. at one point, they were going to have a baby, and he left her in bed without a word, only to think she was gone and he didn't even know the full extent of his loss. as happy as he was to have everly back, something inside of him felt compressed by this new knowledge, by the fact that this was now two babies he'd lost.

two babies, but not two girlfriends, he needed to remember that part and ezra's breathing was shaky as he exhaled, pressing his forehead carefully against everly's as he closed his eyes. "i'm sorry," he whispered to her, not sure how better to say it. he wasn't even sure if he was apologizing for not being a better boyfriend, for not being there during the crash, or for not knowing about the baby. he was certainly sorry the baby didn't make it, but god, how could it have ever survived out there. "i'm so fucking sorry."

self control and composure had been cast aside. after spending months in the wilderness and never knowing if you would see anyone ever again, things like that didn't matter. not that everly would ever admit it but ezra had been the one person that kept her going. there had been so many nights when all she had wanted was to fall asleep and never wake up. yet she knew that ezra likely would be haunted forever if he didn't see her again or at least know what happened. that had been the one thing that forced her to keep fighting when it would have been so easy to succumb. that was why it was so jarring for her to not see him in the room.

there had been a worrisome thought that perhaps he had moved on. could she have blamed him if he had? yet her grandmother had insisted that she had called him. nothing could have prepared her for the sight of him. another wave of tears hit as he actually seemed to rush over. he even nearly plowed into a nurse and she felt utter relief when she was in his arms. instantly she was clinging into him, her grip on his shirt tight even with what little strength that she had.

"you can't-you can't leave," she insisted," please, don't leave." logic was absolutely no where to be found. she had never felt so incredibly lost or worried. before the flight and everything had fallen apart she never would have let anyone see her in such a state. she wasn't thinking about the IV in her arm or the many machines she was connected to. her eyes squeezed shut the moment that he pressed a kiss to her forehead. she could hear her grandma trying to get the staff out. something she would later have to thank her for but there was too much on her mind. yet she found herself forgetting everything when he cupped her face.

her heart was racing as she realized that she had to tell him. part of the reason that she was so incredibly worked up was due to the fact that he didn't know. there had been so many things that had happened out in the wilderness. she found herself in a situation she never imagined. it had been part of why she felt so desperate to see ezra again. a sob bubbled up as she realized that she had to tell him," ezra, i just-i lost it." she had never imagined that she would discover she was pregnant during all that," i lost it, i'm so-so-sorry, i didn't-i'm sorry, i didn't mean to, i lost our baby."

she remembered how she had been terrified when she realized what was going on with her body. let alone the day that she had lost it and how absolutely horrifying it had been. all she had done was cry while a woman named wren had been at her side. she remembered how she had screamed and cried up towards the sky while wishing that ezra was with her. that he could be there to mourn the loss. now she was going to have to tell him and break his heart all over again.

[darkwants]

very carefully, ezra caught a chunk of everly's hair and gave it a tug in retaliation for her teasing him. "i know i can be an asshole, but if there's anyone i'd watch my manners around, it's a little old lady." that he's not convinced wouldn't smack him with her purse if he pushed her far enough, but ezra didn't feel the need to express that part. instead he let his fingers slide down the length of everly's braided hair, rubbing the ribbon at the end between his fingers before picking it up and using the ends of everly's hair to tickle her own nose.

where did she get the ribbon from, he wondered, knowing that it hadn't been there before he left. then again, her hair hadn't been braided, either, and he didn't think everly was in the shape for it, so maybe the answer to both was a kind nurse. if hair care was part of the sponge bath spa package, he wondered if a hair trim was something they'd allow. probably not, because cut hair was a different sort of mess than you usually had to worry about in a hospital, but everly undoubtedly needed one. hair was supposed to grow an inch every two months, so that was four and a half inches of hair growth that she'd been gone. what a strange way to measure time.

sighing, ezra tightened his hold on her and pressed his face against her hair. "i thought you were dead." he said, which meant the same thing as what everly said. he didn't think he'd see her again, didn't think he'd get to hold her again. "after i found out about the plane crash, i brought your things to your grandma. i figured she'd be the person you wanted them to go to, but i kept this one bottle of bath oil because it reminded me of you. never even used it, i'd just smell it from time to time." keeping a bottle of perfume probably would have been a more common choice, but for ezra, it was that damn sandalwood that got to him.

"so tomorrow, i thought i'd go to work and see about taking some time off so i can be around here more. i'm not sure how long they're going to keep you, but i should be able to get at least a few days so you can settle in. i can run around and maybe find you something to keep you entertained while you're here, something besides reality tv." maybe a tablet? she could play games on it and ezra was assuming there was some kind of wifi she could connect to so she could catch up on the last nine months.

"so are you," she breathed, having thought for so many nights that she would never see his face again. that thought was one of the many that had scared her. she had tried to avoid negative thinking as much as she could. yet she also knew that after so many weeks with no sign of a rescue, it was hard to avoid. she knew that maybe she should tell him that. however she had the feeling that the day had been incredibly taxing as it was. after all she had come back from the dead. there was only so much one person could take.

there were going to be so many adjustments. part of her wanted to know just what ezra had been up to in those nine months. if he still attended those weekly poker games with his friends. she also was wondering what her grandmother had done without her. everly got the impression that ezra had stepped up given the look of fondness she had noticed earlier. she could only imagine how fun that must have been for the both of them. ezra had always hinted that she was bossy but he had no clue in the slightest that had come from her grandmother.

already she knew that ezra was on the same page. he was pulling out his phone and she knew that he was likely trying to get a cab. yet that didn't stop her in the slightest from asking him to hold her. the bed was big enough though she knew that it could be a tight fit. he seemed a bit surprised due to the look in his eyes. she shrugged as she reached to move the stuffed animal. her movement was slow as she lifted the quilt up to motion for him to get in," it'll be fine."

honestly she had no clue but she didn't care. she wanted him close and she watched as he joined her. he was wrapping himself around her and she shifted so that her good leg was pressed against the mattress. she threw the blanket over him and was content to cuddle into him," you'd feel like you're getting fresh with me? that worried about impressing her?" her tone was playful but she yawned, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt," i know we should be careful but i just-i never thought i'd get to do this again." her throat tightened the moment the words escaped from her mouth," be held by you again."

[darkwants]

"you're a sight for sore eyes either way." sometimes, back when they were dating and before she disappeared, ezra thought everly was at her prettiest when she was messy and disheveled. she'd looked touchable then, in a way that she hadn't always. if anything, sometimes everly looked like there needed to be some wooden desk between them with her about to cast judgement on him like an office official, the kind that made choices that could majorly change your life without even batting her eye because it was all just paperwork to her. she looked professional, and it made ezra wonder what she was doing with a guy like him no matter how often he saw her dressed up for a night out or dressed down to nothing at all.

it was sad, in a way, that buying a stuffed animal from a gift shop was the pinnacle of the relationship for both of them and it would have been enough to make you wonder just why everly even wanted him there, but ezra knew the answer. because he was the one she had. maybe things hadn't been perfect, but while she never had time for him, she'd never had time for anyone else, either. it was almost a relief to realize that, and he knew that there was more that he should be grateful for in that moment than just knowing everly hadn't hopped a plane for some romantic week in a log cabin with someone after breaking up with him via text - or hell, maybe an email.

but no matter what was wrong between them before, with kiss after kiss, everly made it clear just where she wanted him. calling out a thank you to everly's grandma, ezra knew that he was almost stranding the woman, but he was fully prepared to pay the cab fees so she could go home. or uber fees, whatever they found and she agreed to. he wasn't trying to ignore everly when he set down his bag on the floor and pulled out his phone to start looking at prices, but maybe it seemed like it considering the question she asked.

"you sure it's not going to put any pressure on your leg?" he asked, not sure how many places she was hurt in, but fairly certain they shouldn't press on it too much. still, he found himself hard pressed to tell her no and was already sitting on the edge of the bed and curling around her, making sure that he wasn't in danger of falling off as he guided everly into his arms. "i have to admit, i'm glad you're grandma isn't in here or else i'd feel like i'm getting fresh with you."

"i'm on the verge of looking better," said everly, knowing she had a long way to go. yet she didn't want to tell him about that. especially since she was underweight and she had kind of few wounds that needed to heal. wounds that were from a variety of different things. she wasn't too sure what had made her think that she needed to tell him why she wanted the shark. of course she remembered how ezra had been so surprised when he discovered that she had a fondness for them. then he had been the one to surprise her when he had bought her the gift on that trip.

she couldn't help but smile at what he said next. she glanced down at the plushie before glancing back up at him," i agree." part of her wished that she could just go back to the day that he had bought her the thing. before that damn phone call that had been the reason she had even gotten on that plane. yet she knew it was pointless to think such things. she wanted to just try to focus on moving forward. even if she knew that deep down it was going to be hard. she inhaled sharply, having not even thought about if they would allow him to stay overnight," i'm sure they'll let you stay."

if they didn't than everly knew she was going to have to say something. it wasn't lost on her how everyone seemed to be treading lightly. they all wanted to make sure that she was okay which meant that they didn't say no to much. she knew already that she wanted ezra with her if he was free. of course she understood that he had a job but she hoped he would take time off. yet she wasn't sure she should voice it. instead she watched him as he seemed to take the hint and walk over. yet again he seemed a bit surprised that she was pulling him into a kiss.

"hi," she breathed, unable to stop herself from smiling. the kiss was brief as she leaned back against the pillows. only for the smile to grow as he reached to pet her hair. her gaze went towards the bag that he held up. it seemed he had packed himself an overnight bag. she nodded, hoping already that the staff wouldn't give them trouble. her grandmother was already up and saying she would see if they could find a cot or something for ezra.

though everly knew it meant that her grandmother would need a way home. that left them alone as she glanced over at ezra," do you," she paused," do you think you could climb into this bed?" most of what she was connected to was her left and she had shifted a bit to allow more room," i just want you to hold me."

[darkwants]

somehow, hearing everly say that made him feel like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, even though he'd been positive for all nine months that he was finally doing something for everly that she would appreciate. she'd want her grandmother taken care of, wouldn't she? she'd appreciate the woman getting help when she wasn't around, right? so why did it feel like he'd been taking advantage of someone else's misfortune to push his way inside the life of everly's family, to make himself indispensable? it seemed so selfish now - the woman could have hired a sitter of her own choosing instead of being stuck with ezra and now he had to wonder if she only allowed it out of kindness for ezra's own grief.

"i've been trying. not sure it always worked." he muttered, feeling absolutely positive that it wasn't always appreciated. sure, they got along well for the most part, but ezra knew that he wasn't exactly a joy to be around for everyone - despite the way everly was acting in the moment, chances were that she spent more time not being able to stand him than enjoying his company by the time she got on that plane. hell, if she didn't enjoy being away from him more than she did being with him, she wouldn't have packed up her things and tried to leave the state without telling him.

better to change the subject before he ended up maudlin, and ezra nuzzled at her hairline as he hummed. "our own, huh? does that mean you're going to be reclined in bed, telling me how to rearrange everything in the bedroom? who knows, maybe i can move everything out, put you in the middle, and paint around you if you don't like the walls." the words came out teasing, but ezra already knew that he would do it if it meant that everly wouldn't be miserable during her recovery. he had the feeling she was bound to hate recovering to some degree, but he didn't need to make it worse.

holding still as everly shifted and brought their foreheads together, ezra shut his eyes and couldn't help the way he pressed into her hand as it rubbed at his jawline. he needed a trim, and if he'd realized he was going to see everly, he probably would have before he left that morning. "what are you talking about, honey?" he murmured, face scrunching up in confusion as he opened his eyes. "you need me, so i'm here. what else am i for?" it was an honest question as much as a reassurance for her. ezra hadn't known that she would want to see him, but now that he knew everly wanted him around, he was going to be there for however long she wanted. it wasn't going to last, ezra was certain of that, but how could he ever justify failing her, especially now after everything?

there was the sound of something rolling on wheels and a call of voices outside the door, prompting ezra to hope that they moved on, that they were going to the next room down the hall and got distracted. "if they come to take you away for tests, i'll talk to someone about me staying with you, i promise."

part of her was wondering if he had moved to avoid memories of her. she knew that it wasn't right to be thinking about such a thing. she knew that she had lived with him for only so many months. granted she hadn't spent a lot of time there when she had been trying to keep her restaurant afloat. there had been so many nights she would crawl into bed when she was already passed out. she remembered how she always woken up alone. that thought had haunted her when she was gone those nine months. nine months of falling asleep next to wren of the others. they usually did it for warmth.

she had the feeling that maybe his new home was going to be a fresh start. it wouldn't be constant reminders of everything she had left behind or lost. everly was surprised that he was saying he was closer to her grandma. that was not exactly what she had been expecting to hear. she bit down on her lip," you've been taking care of her haven't you?" she had been wondering what her grandma had been doing. mostly because she knew that her grandma needed help with shopping, going to appointments and the weekly knitting thing. she nodded slowly as she realized that he had bought from the sounds of it a newer place," we can make it our own." she wasn't too sure what that would look like.

there were so many things that did not seem real. everly could only imagine how shocked he had felt when he had been told she was missing. that the plane went down and that she was supposedly dead. it had to be a whirlwind for him as well and she knew that he was probably in shock. yet he seemed to be handling it far better than she was. of course he hadn't been the one who had been out in the wilderness, fighting for every single day. she was utterly relieved that he was holding onto her as she cried.

her grandma seemed to take the hint and was already on her way out. it was clear that ezra hadn't been expecting it. everly would have tried to get up but she wasn't able to do so without someone helping. instead she continued to cling to ezra and once again they were left alone. a wave of relief washed over her the moment that he spoke about how he was going to call into work. she was instantly filled with relief and she nodded," thank you." she had no idea how she would have handled it if he had left her in the morning. even if she knew that he still had a life and a job that he had to get back to.

"so many tests," she breathed, knowing that she had no choice in the matter. she was relieved that he was going to be there for her when she got back. it took her a few moments but she was lifting her head and resting her forehead against his. she bit down on her lip as she reached to run her hand along his jawline once more," i'm sorry," she breathed," i know it isn't fair to you that i'm doin-doing this." she knew that he was willing to do it but still. she knew it was likely a member of the transport team would be coming in," but i'm happy you're here with me."

[darkwants]

at some point, the news had reported on the plane crash, but with the state of the world, there was only so long before it was covered up by some other tragedy or political scandal, a celebrity scandal or protest or something that people could do something about besides a lost plane. it was as good as a footnote to the news while it was one of the defining moments of ezra's life. at one point, he'd known just how many people were on that plane, knew that on average, there was actually just under one hundred people on a plane, which just seemed fake. he would have thought it was hundreds, but maybe he wasn't accounting for how many planes there were, or maybe they were counting small, private planes of the rich and famous. ezra didn't know just what the requirements were for that, but he knew that even if there were only a hundred people on everly's plane, the chances of her being one of the people to survive were heartbreakingly small.

you had better luck of winning a scratch off ticket, and ezra knew that everly surviving wasn't just luck, but what most people would call a miracle. ezra didn't consider himself particularly religious, but certain aspects of it were so ingrained in the culture that he reached out for them like habit. he didn't need to believe in some kind of omniscient entity to say thank you to the universe, to send his gratitude out like radio waves for the world to receive.

"you made it back." he repeated, not sure if he was reassuring her or even himself. there was too much to process, and it seemed to happen in such a short time. an hour ago, he'd been certain that she wouldn't want to see him, and that he likely wouldn't be spending as much time around her grandma now that everly was back. how shortsighted that was. everly was going to need far more support and care that her grandma did and everly not only wanted to see him, everly had been carrying grief and guilt inside of her over their baby. he still wanted to know more about that, when she lost it, when she'd found out she was pregnant, when it would have been born. those questions were likely only more details to torment himself, but he still wanted to know.

ezra kissed her softly when everly pressed their lips together, but everything about the way he treated her was soft, afraid that any wrong move might cause her to break. no matter how loud her lungs were, she seemed so fragile in that bed and he didn't want to be the one to hurt her worse. "i'll be here." he promised before quickly clarifying. "the doctors may need to do tests on you i'm not allowed in for, but i'll be right outside. even if you can't see me, i won't be gone. i'm not leaving you here. so i need you to let the doctors help you so that we can go home, okay? can you do that for me, honey?"

the road to recovery was going to be long one filled with struggles. yet she knew that it was going to be worth it. the big thing that she knew was that she wasn't going to be alone. of course she had feared that maybe ezra had moved on the first time she woke when she had gotten to the hospital. why else would he have not been there? yet he had come back and she was too scared to ask. truly she didn't think that she wanted to know. so much had happened and she knew that he had every right to not want anything to do with her.

after all she was broken in what she felt like was every sense of the word. she knew she had months of healing and it was possible physical therapy. she just hoped that he was going to be willing to let her stay with him once she was released. all that she wanted was the comfort of his bed with him beside her. she had longed for the few nights they had shared where she had been in his clothes and in his arms. she had no idea how long she was going to be kept in the hospital. of course she was back from the dead as well as the others who had made it back.

there was likely going to be paperwork, lots of questions and she had faintly heard someone mentioning upping security. apparently word had broke out about them being found. it was nothing short of a miracle let alone that eight people had made it back. she knew that what she was going through another seven were as well. the blonde had no clue if they were all in the same hospital or even on the same floor. truly she wasn't too sure she was concerned given that she had ezra in front of her. they both were clearly processing something incredibly huge.

"it feels like it is," she breathed, knowing that maybe he might not understand. after all how could he? he had never dealt with anything close to it. she nodded slowly, knowing that he was right. it was like a weight was lifted and she knew she was done fighting. she allowed herself to let out the breath that she didn't realize she had been holding. a smile appeared on her face as he told her that she didn't need to be sorry," i made it back to you." she was taken by surprise when he reached for her hand. he seemed to move carefully as he pressed a kiss to the inside of her palm.

"i don't ever want to leave you again," she breathed, taken by surprise when she felt the inside of her palm grow wet. it dawned on her when she realized that he was actually crying. she wasn't thinking as she leaned in to brush her lips against his," you'll-you'll be here when i wake up?" she couldn't bring herself to close her eyes until she was certain that he was still going to be there," i can't-i want to be home with you where i belong."

[darkwants]

on one hand, ezra knew definitively that everly was still willing to live with him and it wouldn't be a case of her and her grandma trying to look out for each other, which he didn't think would work out. on the other hand, ezra had moved and that was something that everly should know. "after you disappeared, i moved, so there's a new house." if she was hoping for something that felt familiar and safe (or at least… familiar), then she was out of luck because the house had been gone for months and even ezra was all moved in. "it's a smaller place, a little further from my job than before, but it's decent." and not as personalized as the other. he hadn't felt in the mood to made a nicer bedroom or bathroom, and the only thing he cared about with the kitchen was that the microwave worked. "we'll find room for anything you want to keep."

and it would take time for her to decide what she wanted since it sounded like she'd need to sort through it, figure out what she wanted to take and what she would leave with her grandma, what she might decide to get rid of. after so long out of touch, ezra had no idea if she would get rid of things since she had survived so long as a minimalist, or want to cling to them so she was never without something again.

"if all of you made it this far, then seems you're all pretty tough. who knows, maybe they'll let you pass notes to check on each other." depending on the kind of treatment they were getting, maybe they could visit each other, too, but ezra wasn't sure about that. if nothing else, chances were that the others would also end up with phones soon and maybe they could find a way to text to keep in contact. and if ezra couldn't do it, then maybe everly's grandma could, because that woman seemed like a force of nature and chances were that she'd be able to sneak around a hospital with fewer questions than ezra would. which begged the question, where was she? ezra knew she'd stepped out, but he didn't remember if she said where she was going, too distracted by everly.

"shh, hey, you're okay. breathe, i'm right here." he hadn't expected everly to respond like that and he had the feeling that everly being left alone may be an issue for a while. "i'm going to work tomorrow, and i'll sort out some time off, okay? i'll stick with you and in four or five days, we'll see where we are and how you feel." not because he was going to feel stifled or resented sitting with her, but he had no idea if everly would still be afraid or if that was enough contact for her to overdose on and leave her satisfied for another few months. besides, he has no idea what her hospital schedule was going to look like, so best not to make too many long term plans at once.

"never," she teased, shocked at how playful they were being. of course some of her memories were fuzzy. yet she didn't remember ever sharing such a moment with ezra before the crash. half the time it felt like they were just existing in the same space. she remembered faintly how she had thought about how she would make sure things were different if she got back to him. that was not something she was going to share because she didn't want to start some sort of disagreement. she didn't have the energy to argue with him and truly she just didn't want to.

it was a relief for her to hear that her things were at her grandmother's. yet she wondered if that meant that ezra had intended to be done with her. that thought nearly made her freeze but she knew that she shouldn't think along those lines. everything was different and she knew it was her fault. she nodded to show that she had been listening," so i guess we will have to move them back to your place?" she knew that would be something that he would have to do on his own. she was barely able to walk let alone lift up boxes or whatever he had packed her things in," though i don't know if i'll want everything."

truly she was thinking that she was going to end up tossing a lot of her things. unless for some reason her grandmother wanted to keep them. part of her already knew that she didn't want reminders of who she had been before. maybe that was irrational but it just didn't seem right. she would only want a few things that she deemed important. faintly she remembered what she had packed for her trip. she hadn't known how long she would be gone so she had packed a little bit of everything. the one thing that stuck out the most was one of ezra's sweatshirts. it had been something to comfort her even if things were strained. once the weather had started to get cold, she had lived in it in those woods. it was what she had been found in and she had no idea where it was.

"i just-i want to know they are okay," she explained," they became family." after all, how could they not? they had been through something horrific together. it was a bond that had been forged and it was unbreakable as far as everly was concerned. she shook her head slowly at his question," i just want a way to contact you besi-besides having the staff call you." she knew she had a lot to catch up on. it was likely her social media would be off the charts. yet she wasn't concerned about any of that," i just-the idea of you not being here scares me and i know it shouldn't but every-every single day i thought i was never going to see you again and i just-i missed you so much and i know you have a life still but-but that fear won't go away."

[darkwants]

it was fucking incredible to hear that while he'd spent the entire ride to the hospital arguing about how she wouldn't want to see him, here everly was being afraid that she'd never see him again. the crash had to have caused some kind of change in her, she had to have latched onto him as some last source of warmth and intimacy or something because after night months lost, nine months where she didn't the as good as estranged boyfriend she was leaving, ezra would have expected she'd be eager to see other things. her grandma, her restaurant, maybe even her bed and a functional toilet, but not him.

ezra had read something once about survivors of jumping off a bridge, how the majority of them, on the way down, realized that everything that was wrong in their life was something they could fix. maybe it was like that, maybe as the plane fell and trees rushed up to meet it, everly realized that whatever she was running away from was something she could change. just because their relationship hadn't gotten better didn't mean it couldn't, and standing there with the side of the bed pressing almost painfully into his leg, ezra knew that he was certainly willing to try to make things right this time around. the third time was the charm, wasn't it?

as everly settled down against her pillows, he squeezed her hand in return. "that's my girl." they seemed to be interrupted far too quickly and ezra kept himself from frowning at the people who entered into the room. at least it was only two, so he assumed it wasn't going to be that bad. talking to her, maybe checking her stats? he didn't expect a dressing change and it reminded him that he had no idea just what kind of shape everly was truly in.

"sure, sorry." circling around the bed, ezra reached out to pet everly's hair and reassure her that he was still there. ezra didn't know just how healed everly would be when they finally let her go, but he had the feeling that it would still be good for him to know how she was hurt and how much care she needed. he assumed they must have performed some kind of surgery on her leg to repair something, but he didn't know what, just that it looked painful. "how bad is she hurt?" he didn't know if he was looking at something that would keep her limping or needing to use a cane or if she'd need therapy. he wasn't sure if it was something that everly could get over if she'd be dealing with it for the rest of her life. "do you know when she'll get to go home?"

it felt like everything was happening in light speed. which the irony wasn't lost on her. for so long she had thought that the end would ever come. that she would eventually die out in those woods. there had been so many nights she could hear the animals around. they were sniffing out the weak which is how some of the others that had made it from the crash had died. if it hadn't been that it was the elements or their injuries.

since they had been found it had been a rush. so many tests had been run and she had a surgery done upon her arrival. it certainly made her feel more on edge to know that she had gone under the knife without giving permission. of course she understood that it was needed but she hadn't been able to have her voice be heard for nine months. that was likely why she had screamed the way she had for ezra. it was merely a relief that he had come quite literally running. part of her wondered how he had reacted when the news broke.

yet she couldn't help herself with how eager she was to see him. she didn't even know where they stood yet that didn't stop her from kissing him. it took her by surprise when she realized how gentle he was being. even his hold on her wasn't as tight as it normally would have been. she knew that perhaps she was being incredibly needy but she truly didn't care. a wave of relief hit as he reassured her that he wasn't going anywhere," ok-okay," she breathed, knowing that he was right," i was just so-so scared i'd never seen you again."

she knew that he had to understand where she was coming from. she slowly began to lean back in the bed after making sure that nothing was tangled. though her hand instantly reached for one of his as she got settled against the pillows. she knew that her grandmother was likely waiting outside. yet she wasn't sure she wanted to give up the time she had alone with ezra. she glanced over at him and gently squeezed his hand in her own," i'll listen to them." it was almost as if they must have heard as the door swung open to show one of the many doctors as well as a nurse.

"it's time for your dressing change," chirped the woman who had a kind face. everly instantly grew pale as she realized they meant the wound on her leg. she nearly wanted to refuse but she had just promised ezra she would listen. she glanced towards ezra, doing her best to not seem scared," you'll need to stand on the other side." she watched as they came around to begin removing the blanket. a wince escaped as she saw the gauze that was taped across the expanse of her leg.

[darkwants]

in the time that ezra and everly's grandma were gone, ezra had decided that he needed to put together a bag of his own because if he could get away with it, he planned on staying with everly as often as he could. he didn't know if there were visitor hours that he'd be limited to or if everly could say something and have him be allowed to stay (assuming she wanted him to stay, but it seemed like a safe bet, at least until she was used to being in civilization again), but it was easy to roll up some clean clothes in a duffel bag to throw on in the morning, grab a toothbrush and toothpaste. it wasn't much, but it would save time on the morning commute if he could get away with it.

since he wasn't packing much, he was finished in short time and ready before everly's grandma finished, but he didn't rush her. he knew that everly had requested some things, but not what, and he trusted that everly's grandma could find them and would let him know if not. mostly, he just kept thinking about getting back to the hospital and kept checking the news on his phone to see if anything had leaked out about the survivors.

by the time they got back on the road, ezra's fingers were drumming against the steering wheel, eyes glancing at the clock and impatient to get back, as if the hospital might have lost her in the short time they were away. he dropped everly's grandma off right outside the hospital door because there was no reason to make a woman of her age walk across the parking lot, then he started to try finding a parking space, a difficult prospect that left him with a fair bit of walking to do in the end.

managing to make it inside the hospital and upstairs, ezra nodded to the nurses on his way to everly's room, knocking gently before letting himself in and smiling at how her room had been transformed. that wasn't a hospital gown she was in and ezra hadn't realized she'd be allowed to wear anything else, but she certainly looked better. tidier, more comfortable, and it seemed like her room was set up for her to stay a while between the pictures and the blanket. "promised we wouldn't be, right? did we miss anything?" he asked before registering what everly was holding in her arms. "that's your shark." glancing at everly's grandma, he wondered just whose idea it had been to bring that to the hospital, but didn't ask.

as she had predicted, her grandmother had been bossing people about. she had been so happy to see that even if she knew it was wrong. there had been so many little things that she had never thought she's get to see again. of course ezra had left his number with the nurses. they had said their goodbyes and stressed they would be right back. her grandma had asked for a few minutes alone with her. only to whisper that ezra had been taking good care of her. as well as asking if there was anything special she wanted. the list that everly gave was a rather short one compared to what some might think.

she wanted the quilt that her grandmother had made years ago. it was made from old t-shirts that belonged to her grandfather as well as ones they had bought her. sewing was not her forte even if she had tried over the years. she wanted some of the family photos that were framed. of course she asked for some of her own clothes which included a robe. hospital gowns weren't exactly comfortable and faintly smelled like bleach. the one thing she asked for but asked that ezra not see right away was the stuffed shark plushie.

they weren't gone for more than hour and in that time everly took a nap. she even managed to have some broth. something that the nurse had helped her with. the reality show ended up being just what she needed. it was a distraction and almost made her forget everything that was going on around them. she had even been given a sponge bath and her hair was tied back with a ribbon. the door to her room was opened and she saw that it was her grandma. apparently ezra was parking the car. she had a lot of questions but opted to avoid those for now.

instead she was reaching for the bags. a smile on her face at the sight of everything. a nurse was going to help her into an oversized t-shirt that actually might have been ezra's. there was no need for pants due to her leg so she was helped back into the bed. the quilt was thrown over her legs and the photos placed on the table. yet her face brightened at the sight of the shark plushie. it was childish but she was going to wrap her arms around it tightly as she heard a knock and then ezra was stepping in. she hoped she looked at least a little better than she had before," you weren't gone long at all."

[darkwants]

everly wasn't in the hospital for something as simple as a cold or a cut, she'd been lost to him, to everyone, for months and ezra had the feeling that her recovery time was going to be equal to that. it wouldn't all be in the hospital, but it would be more than just a one night stay, he felt certain of that. what else wuld they need to do before they could release her? would there be surgery, or therapist appointments? somehow it was easier to picture everly going under a knife than it was to go to therapy. he wouldn't have been able to picture it before, she was strong willed and stubborn and always seemed so determined to do things on her own, but now it was obvious that she was different, damaged by her time away and all he wanted was to see her get better.

maybe ezra didn't have a lot of experience at helping people recover from trauma, but he wasn't going to leave her alone. if it turned out that he needed to set up some kind of new bed or needed to make sure to always keep a light on for her at night or keep the house extra warm for her health, then he'd do it. that was assuming that she would go home with him, but really, there weren't a lot of places that everly could go. there had to be a lot of paperwork that came with someone coming back from the dead, and everly had been living with him before, so her only real options were him or her grandma and ezra certainly knew who he hoped that everly would choose to stay with. at least until he knew if she was okay.

"it's not your fault, either." it was her fault for getting on the plane, but there wasn't supposed to be anything dangerous about getting on a plane. she hadn't made it crash, but she had made it back to him and that was the most important part. "you made it back to me, okay? you did that. you don't need to be sorry." the feeling of her fingers against his face and tracing his beard was enough to make a smile flickered across his face because god, how long had it been since the last time he felt her touch? months. it had been nine months that he'd been without her, that was how long.

catching the hand against his face and making sure not to dislodge any IVs, ezra turned to kiss her palm and wondered vaguely if the taste of salt was his imagination, if it was her skin or if he'd cried without knowing it. "you did it, everly. and now you can rest. once you're better, i'm going to get you out of here and i'm going to take you home, okay? i'm not going anywhere without you now."

never before had she felt so desperate in the most overpowering way. of course she had never been stranded in the middle of nowhere for months. all because she had agreed to a stupid favor for a friend. deep down she knew that the reason she had been so eager was because it would be a chance to get her head clear. things with ezra hadn't been going great. she wanted space but she had never intended on ending things. that was just one of the reasons that she had screamed for ezra the second that she was awake. nothing else mattered, she hadn't even listened to anything the doctors told her.

it was likely a laundry list of issues considering how long she had been out there. she knew already that the wound on her thigh hadn't healed properly and was showing signs of infection. she remembered how hard she had fought and she was truly so tired. both mentally and physically but she had grown so used to fighting. yet at that moment ezra was the sole person she was focused on. he was the one thing that could keep her tethered to the real world. not the one that she had been forced to live in.

she was haunted by so many memories but the night she had lost the baby it had been a lot. she didn't want to keep it from him or have him find out because of something in her chart. her eyes widened as he instantly began to reassure that he was forgiven. he told her that before she got the words out but she knew that she had stunned him. sobs were coming from her as she felt his hand on her back. her grandma had thankfully left the room so they were alone. she knew that him finding out that she had even been pregnant would be a lot to process.

after all she had been on birth control since she was a teenager. yet there was always the chance and clearly it had happened. she couldn't stop the tears from falling as he seemed to freeze. she knew that it was a lot for him to wrap his mind around. part of her wasn't too sure if she should try to say something else. instead he was apologizing to her like he had done something. that only served to make her cry harder without even realizing it," you don't-it's not your fault." she was reaching up as best she could to rest her hand against the side of his face. her fingers traced along his beard.

"all i could think when i was out there," she choked out, feeling a bit breathless," was that i needed to get back here, back home to you ezra, i just-i needed to get back to you."

[darkwants]

"you mean you're not going to protect me from her?" ezra teased, as if everly wasn't in a hospital bed, as if he didn't expect everly to always take her grandma's side no matter what the fight was about. it was a good moment, not the kind to make accusations or pick fights, and while ezra knew that these simple little moments of happiness wouldn't last, he planned to enjoy it while it did. eventually she'd get tired of having him hovering, she'd be in pain, be having a bad day, something, and she'd snap. until then, they were having a blissful moment where they could be soft with each other and he hoped maybe that would carry into the future, that maybe they wouldn't go back to cutting at each other as sharply as they once did.

but it wasn't going to either be happiness or fighting, there would be sadness as well, memories of those nine months on both sides to tinge their conversations. he could feel it then, creeping into their conversation as she talked about having her things donated. "i wasn't going to do that. they weren't mine to give away, that was your grandma's decision." with everly gone, her things went to her grandma, he wasn't under any illusions about that and he wasn't going to deny the woman the comfort of having some things to remember everly by. sure, it could also be hell to have those memories about, but it was her call to decide what she kept and what she didn't.

it was tempting to ask if everly had anything that reminded her of him, but ezra didn't ask, swallowing back the question because it sounded stupid in his own mind. she'd hopped on a plane out of state without telling him and they weren't talking. chances were that she was going to break up with him and that didn't change just because she'd decided against that after nine months of hell. so no, she probably didn't have anything that reminded her of him, and that was assuming she even had access to any of her things. did she find her luggage? did she have an overhead bag? the idea of being stuck in the woods for close to a year with only one pair of socks seemed awful and ezra knew she had such bigger problems to deal with than that.

"not sure if they'll give me any information on them for privacy reasons, but i can try." chances were he'd need to be sneaky about it, but he'd keep his word. "and a phone, got it. does it matter what kind?" part of him was curious what she needed a phone for since he doubted she remembered that many numbers, but then again… a phone would give her access to social media and she could easily dm people for their numbers, she could build back up that list of connections and by the time she was out of the hospital, she'd likely have a shiny new life all set up for her. not back for even a full day and already planning on networking, that was faster than expected.

"don't let her hear you calling her old," she teased, laughing a little. it felt like it was the first time that she was laughing and meant it. she didn't even mind how he tugged her hair," she has amazing aim." something that she knew from her childhood. she watched as his fingers coasted down her braid. she had been shocked that the nurse had offered to braid her hair. it was the longest that her hair had been in years. she knew that one of the first things that she wanted to do was go to a hair salon. yet she knew that could take a while so she was going to have to deal with it. her nose crinkled as he tickled her nose with the end of her braid.

she was happy that she was back in his arms with she felt safe. tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she heard his words. it seemed they both felt the same way. she clung to him as she let her eyes close," i thought you might have donated everything," she confessed," but thank you for doing that, i know that couldn't have been easy." she knew how happy her grandma had been when she had walked into her hospital room. it was likely they both thought that wasn't ever going to happen. that she wouldn't ever be found and that they couldn't ever get closure.

nothing could have prepared everly for him telling her that he had kept the bath oil. she knew that must would find it strange. after all most would have wanted something like her perfume. she didn't often wear it but she did have a bottle. yet she know the oil was something special. it was something that she always used at his place. it smelled like sandalwood which had always been one of her favorite scents. it seemed that he had missed her just as much as she had missed him," i'm glad that you had that to remind you of me."

her heart seemed to kick start as he told her about going to work. she knew that he needed to but that didn't mean that she liked it. all she did was nod since she wasn't sure how she would react. she cleared her throat," could you maybe check on the others for me?" she was mostly thinking about wren but she didn't want to tell him that. instead she took a deep breath," and maybe pick me up a new phone? mine is, well, gone."