#favorite french couple y'all

[yurgemini]

My favorite french couple

[fox-guardian]

hey guys did you know that um. did you know. first of all did you know i'm losing my mind, secondly, do y'all remember in tma how when someone reads a written statement, they don't really Stop unless they're interrupted? and they read the whole thing easy cheesy, no issues with reading whatever words are there? like. jon literally could read french for a whole statement and was Fine. granted, that's Jon, but like nobody else struggled with pronunciations and whatnot (that i can recall)

presumably, this is an eye thing. either as employees of the institute, or because everyone there is just also eye-aligned in some degree (melanie had the ghost hunting show, the eye is fond of martin, etc)

and then there's tim in season 3 ep 86

[Sigh] Statement of… uh, Benjamin Hatendi… Hateendi? Regarding a… [papers rustling] a blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t. Statement is from… 1983, March 2nd. And I guess… [long sigh] I guess I’m doing this one. Tim Stoker. Archival assistant… Archival prisoner at the Magnus Institute.

correct me if im wrong but i don't recall anyone struggling with pronunciations before this bit. but that's not even the biggest thing here, that's just a lil Taste, a lil Flavor.

note the phrasing there. "Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end." why would he say this when the written text on the statement says this:

Uh, right. Benjamin Hatendi’s account of… [rustling pages] oh for… a, a strange encounter. Er, statement date, March 2nd, 1983. Melanie King recording. Apparently.

"a strange encounter". that's it. nothing about an unavoidable death, just a "strange encounter". Tim Why Did You Say That.

why would our dear timothy bimothy, who is being pushed to the brink, who is becoming rapidly more depressed and losing hope, say this?

this isn't the only time he's said some weirdly grim shit tho (ep 104)

There was never really any hope for me, though, was there? This was how it was always going to go.

and then there's this bit from elias apparently having Looked into tim (also 104)

TIM All right, hit me with your X-ray eyes then, boss. What do you see? ELIAS Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged. TIM [Sarcastic] Ooh, terrifying! Surely only magic could have let you see so deep inside my very soul.

"nothing left" but the desire to feel revenged. and tim doesn't dispute this, because it's true.

when he first joined the institute he did so in order to look for answers about danny, but then he stopped seriously looking. and now that the circus is back, this is all the drive he has left. not looking for answers, just wanting revenge. closure. an end, if you will.

this is Literally It For Him. a couple lines later he suggests elias kill him, he's At The Breaking Point.

he is so tired, he's lost all hope, and he's saying all this grim shit about "unavoidable death" and "this is how it was always going to go" like hmmmm sounds familiar doesn't it. DOESN'T IT (<- is going insane)

(ep 11) [....] despite the rapid response of the paramedics and how much of his medical history I had immediately to hand, there was nothing I could do to save him. (ep 11) I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you. Based on my previous experience, such a thing is likely impossible anyway,[....] (ep 121) There. That was it. That was our fate; where we would always be.

hmmmm sounds a bit like oliver huh? everyone's favorite ex-accountant avatar of the end?? right??

but then there's this last bit i have from ep 86.

why did he stop reading the statement

Statement. “My parents never let me have a nightlight. I was always afraid, but they were ju–” Ugh, this is stupid.

why did he do that. again, correct me if im wrong but when else has someone just Stopped Reading like that without someone or something else interrupting them? why could tim just stop himself?

my theory is this: at this point, tim is completely gone from being aligned with the eye. he no longer seeks to know what happened to danny, he just wants closure. he doesn't wanna do any statement work, and he keeps mentioning these tidbits about hopelessness and the inevitability of terrible events, specifically death.

the eye isn't compelling him to read the statements like it does the others, because it doesn't have as strong a hold anymore. the grip is slipping from him. and by the time the unknowing rolls around, maybe it's lost him for good. maybe he finally fell into a different power he never meant to serve, and yet, he does.

and maybe. just maybe. because i'm so not in denial. but MAYBE. he did die in the unknowing. but maybe he got better.

basically end!tim truthers rise up, this is how end!tim kayaking with his bf oliver banks can still win, etc etc I'm Going Feral <3

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Go for his brother part 3

Part 2

Part 1

charles_leclerc The day @/y/n_leclerc and I decided to spent the forever together

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y/n_leclerc Did I mention I'm in love with you? 😭

↳charles_leclerc Yeah I think you mentioned that a few times in the vows, ma chérie

y/n_leclerc I love it when you call me french terms of endearment oh my god 😩

username1 SHE'S HOOKED

↳username2 FOR LIFE 🤞

pierregasly And I really thought I wouldn't see that day

↳y/n_leclerc Life's full of surprises isn't it?

username3 Charles calls her ma chérie, Arthur used to call her mon bébé 😭 do you get deja vu

↳username4 y/n: *breathes* y'all: do you get deja vu omg she used to breathe with Arthur 😭

↳username5 You remember mon bébé but do you remember chouchou? 😭

username3 OMG YES he used to call her chouchou and she used to call him Thurthur 😭

username4 GET. OVER. THEM. Y/n is now married to Charles BESIDES Arthur CHEATED on her. She deserved better than Arthur and now she has it.

pascale_leclerc Congratulations my loves ❤️😘 the wedding was beautiful

↳y/n_leclerc Merci maman🫶

↳username3 Pascale is just happy to have Y/n in her family and I live for this

username2 Maybe it was all Pascale's idea, when she found out Arthur cheated, she told Charles to keep Y/n in the family lmao

username3 And he stayed committed to the job💪

danielricciardo The instant photos part was awesome, I bet it was Y/n's idea

↳y/n_leclerc Yes it was 🫡and it was really nice to see you, Max, Lando and Carlos having lots of fun with it once the alcohol kicked in

charles_leclerc Not to mention now we have some things to blackmail you with

danielricciardo Bold of you to assume I'd be ashamed of any of these, Charles

carlossainz55 Looking forward to seeing Y/n in the paddock more often! 😊

↳y/n_leclerc You know, Carlos, some people have jobs... You should look it up sometime...🫶

↳username5 Is she now gonna go for Carlos lmao

scuderiaferrari Big day for our favorite couple ❤️ evviva gli sposi 👏

↳charles_leclerc Grazie mille❤️❤️

↳y/n_leclerc We're the favorite couple 🥹

georgerussell63 Even though you were engaged I didn't believe you'd actually do it until it happened

↳charles_leclerc Thanks George, supportive as always

username1 That's what I call KARMA

username2 But when are we going to talk about the argument Arthur and Charles had before the wedding?

↳username3 What were you in their house? Lmao

username2 Another gossip page said that Arthur and Charles argued in front of the wedding chapel

username3 That's so unrealistic, don't trust everything you see on these pages

username4 Hey so do we know if there were any arguments?

↳f1gossip There's no way we'd have any information on that, it was a very private ceremony. That is highly doubtful though, I don't think this could've happened. Even Arthur knows better than acting like this on his brother's wedding day.

username3 That's so right, Arthur isn't dumb enough to act like a dick on his brother's wedding day, he knows it's his own fault

username5 Yeah it would be so weird if Arthur was playing angry now like man it's all consequences of your own actions, be an adult

username6 Even if it wasn't showing, Arthur was definitely dying on the inside. Imagine seeing your ex girlfriend at the altar next to your brother. You're thinking "it should be me with her", but it's too late

↳username7 One day Y/n and Charles will have kids, they'll be a happy family. Charles will have everything Arthur could want - a seat in F1, Y/n as his wife, little Leclerc(s) running around. Arthur will always be the "less successful" Leclerc. No wonder Lorenzo stays out of the spotlight

username8 Now you're making it sound depressing lol

username7 Tbh I cried a little thinking about this even though I know that's what Arthur deserves for cheating on Y/n

username9 I wonder what happened between Arthur and [ex best friend's name]

↳f1gossip She allegedly broke up with him and a few days later was seen on a date with a fellow Formula 2 driver.

username7 This keeps getting better

username9 WHO???? I NEED TO KNOW???

username8 I saw someone say she was seen with that Piñacolada guy

username9 Piñacolada?? Do you mean Franco Colapinto?? 💀

y/n_leclerc Charles isn't my fiancé anymore 👰‍♀️🤵

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charles_leclerc I told you it's not the best way to say it

↳y/n_leclerc You can't stop me, tesoro

username1 OMG I've just noticed Y/n changed her username

↳username2 well, she got married...

lilymhe Wedding of the century

francisca.cgomes Every little girl dreams of a perfect wedding. That was this wedding

↳exbestfriend I've never dreamt of a wedding as a kid

francisca.cgomes Girl nobody asked

exbestfriend Why would a kid think about it? Don't they have better things to do? Like playing with toys and BEING A KID?

y/n_leclerc Pls not under my wedding post, get your jealous ass outta here

yoursister I'm so proud of you Y/n 😭

↳y/n_leclerc I know, you couldn't stop crying 😭

yoursister You know it were happy tears, I love you so much 😭

username3 LMAO [ex best friend's name]'s comments are pure comedy 💀 do you think she'll try to steal Charles now?

↳username4 Doesn't matter, Charles will never cheat on Y/n

arthur_leclerc You looked amazing

↳username2 Get the fuck out of this comment section

↳username3 All you can do about it now is cry, you wasted your chance

↳username4 The way Y/n doesn't even bother to reply

alex_albon I bet you wouldn't have the guts to wear the dress to the paddock next race

↳y/n_leclerc You're right, I won't 🙌 it's too beautiful to take any risks

charlottesiine Dream dress 🤍

↳y/n_leclerc I know right 🥹 when I saw it I knew right away THAT'S THE ONE

↳username5 wtf what's Cha doing here

username6 They follow each other since that one time they hung out together

username5 ahh the famous "we both suffered a Leclerc" thing

username7 GUYS I AM CRYING Cha said dream dress, I wonder if she's thinking it should be hers, like she should be in Y/n's place 🥹😭

↳username8 Y'all need to stop, first talking about Arthur, now about Charlotte. Go touch some grass

username7 but, unlike Y/nArthur, ChaCha broke up on good terms, so this could be her

username8 But it's not. Grow up. So disrespectful to talk about it on a wedding post

username9 I am really happy for Y/n and Charles. But I can't stop thinking this could be Y/n and Arthur. Or Charles and Charlotte

↳username7 I bet Arthur also can't stop thinking about this lmao he'll never find someone who'll love him as much as Y/n did

username9 Let's not go that far maybe...?

username1 Their voices are so similar 😭 do you think Y/n sometimes accidentally calls Charles Arthur?

↳username2 Do you think she sometimes says the wrong name in bed? 💀

username3 This whole story, from the moment Arthur cheated to the end of this interview, is my Roman Empire

username4 I love that they stay on good terms even after what happened with Y/n

↳username1 In this exact interview Arthur said he didn't talk to Charles for WEEKS, he didn't even show up on the family dinners, until one day he understood he can only blame himself

username5 You can see that Arthur is happy for his big brother, but in his voice you can hear the pain 😭

username6 When Arthur said "Now I see what I did was hurtful and I'm glad it was Charles who took care of Y/n after it happened, instead of some random guy who would possibly repeat my mistake" it broke me 😭

↳username7 "Y/n is an amazing woman and I hope Charles will give her everything I couldn't." 😭😭

username8 when Ch asked "do you think you'd deserve a second chance? if Y/n and I weren't married, of course" as a joke and A replied "honestly? no, I was a douchebag and the cheating wasn't the only issue in our relationship, she truly deserved better" AND THEN GAVE HIS BROTHER A BIG SMILE WTF?? 😭😭

username9 At least he realizes his mistakes😭

username4 Not only cheating?? What else?? I need to know immediately

username8 They didn't say it in the video, I doubt they would ever say it publicly unless Y/n decides to speak about it (but I don't see why would she, being happily married now)

username10 They should release one interview of the Leclercs just talking about this whole Y/n situation

y/n_leclerc Maybe it all happened a bit quick, but my husband is a race driver for a reason

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lilymhe I GASPED when I saw the caption

↳charles_leclerc I asked her nicely to look for some basic quote 🙁

pascale_leclerc Can't wait to meet our little Leclerc❤️

↳y/n_leclerc You'll be the first one to find out❤️

yoursister That's how I find out? Through a post?😭

↳y/n_leclerc I wanted to surprise you 🥹

yoursister I'm kidding, I'm happy for you guys 🩷

francisca.cgomes Someone check on Arthur

↳y/n_leclerc KIKA!!!!

↳username1 I love Kika 😭

↳username2 Jokes aside someone really needs to check up on him

arthur_leclerc It really suits you 🩷

↳y/n_leclerc Don't say that to Charles, he already told me he'd like 2 more 😭 I don't think I wanna go further than just this one

charles_leclerc I'm not gonna force you! If you wanna stop at one, that's fine by me

y/n_leclerc We can get a puppy instead? Right now it would be perfect so the puppy and the baby can entertain each other and grow up together

charles_leclerc Alright, ma chérie, we can talk about that 😂

↳username1 "I hope Charles gives her everything I couldn't" 😭 so that's what he meant

↳username2 Alexa play the one that got away by Katy Perry

username3 I just know Arthur will be the fun uncle omg

↳username4 I don't think he'll spend much time with the baby, if I were him it would always make me think "wow, that baby could be mine if I didn't mess up" 💀

username3 It seems like he understood his mistake and came to terms with the consequences. Plus, he didn't say it, but I feel like in the video shared by the gossip page he implied not wanting kids

username4 What do you mean? How?

username3 "I hope Charles gives her everything I couldn't" and then said the cheating wasn't the only reason for the breakup and now, a few weeks pass and we get the pregnancy announcement

username4 Well, maybe getting cheated on didn't work out so badly for Y/n in the end

alex_albon Project Verstappen? 😏

↳georgerussell63 *project Hamilton

charles_leclerc *project Leclerc 😌

alex_albon Better start saving up for the baby's therapy then

charles_leclerc Welcome home, Jules Hervé Leclerc, born July 17 🤍

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[smolvenger]

Poll Idea: WIP Potentials!

Okay guys, I have all these ideas in the WIP stew. I have the next part of Boat in the Water loading up and about to start a rough draft. But...which of these sounds good to you of these stories and requests crazy ideas I got.

Court of Mischief Chapter 21: Reader is back with her hubby, and after some reunion hanky panky, they realize the key to Grendel's defeat can be found in the Trove, which they must obtain by visiting the worlds of the other variants, Kingdom Hearts Style. There are also plans for Reader and Sif to find something in the Asgardian library that could threaten them...or help them.

The Little Princess: based off of a request. Reader and Henry V have their first baby...and it's a girl. While the court may be disappointed, he still loves his daughter.

Birthday Blurb Request Title TD: "Who Did This To You?" with President Loki with spice. He will be protective over her bb and want to give her a mango ride, ehhehehehe.

Birthday Blurb Request Title TBD: "And there was one bed!" with Prof! Tom. I plan on Reader being a student, and somehow on a school trip or something, landing in one room with one bed with prof! Tom. Tension ensues, and there will be smut.

And now, for the random oneshots in my head...

The Maid of Harlefluer, Henry V x fem! Reader: This is the darkest idea I have since there is dubcon in it. But Henry V and his army enter Harlefleur for the French invasion, BUT in order to peacefully pass through, he requires a lady for his bed that night...and you are the one offered! Smut and angst and some fluff happens.

A Private Audience, Will Ransome x fem! Reader: Hold up, hold up, hear me out, this isn't a signal I've been kidnapped- I know, I'm shocked too. But I had an idea kind of based on "My Boy Breaks his Favorite Toys" from TTPD and a couple lines from chapter 19 in Pride and Prejudice concerning another suitor who is a clergyman named William, as well as headcanons I've read. Reader is new in town after the canon events and Will is a widower with the kiddos and he is showing interest in her, and Reader goes "oh, okay! He's a great guy! I won't mind his courtship!" But then...she somehow finds out about Cora and Stella and his past infidelity *record scratch* and that he is still talking with Cora via the letters(!!!!) and it changes everything internally. But despite this, one day he knocks on the door intending to propose marriage to Reader. Angst and drama ensues.

Which one sounds like something you wanna read about first?

Tell me what y'all think!

Taglist: @anukulee@asgards-princess-of-mischief@jennyggggrrr@five-miles-over@fictive-sl0th@ladycamillewrites@villainousshakespeare@holdmytesseract@eleniblue@twhxhck@lokisgoodgirl@lovelysizzlingbluebird@raqnarokr@holymultiplefandomsbatman@michelleleewise@wolfsmom1@cheekyscamp@mochie85@fandxmslxt69@skittslackoffilter@mischief2sarawr@jijilaufeyson

[teenageyouthwitch]

( Daryl x femalereader)

Storyline: when reader was just a little girl she always helped her father out in the garage working on trucks and cars so it's not surprise that when the apocalypse happens reader becomes a mechanic for Alexandria year go by reader is now a mechanic in Alexandria working on the vehicles and other things but when the group comes to Alexandria reader catches the eye of a certain archer,

Story name: like father like daughter

Words: somewhere around one thousand and five hundred ( i tried counting but I lost count so many times so I gave up but I promise it's worth it or at least I hope )

Warnings: death, dying, knives, guns, smoking, blood, and drinking....but If you guess want in part two I might do smut idk

This is my first one so sorry if it's not what y'all were hoping for or expecting, I hope you guess do like it tho

When I was a very young girl maybe around the age of 3 my dad started bringing me to help him work even if it was as simple as getting his rag of the tool table or handing him a wrench, or even just to give my mom a break and spend time with my dad, it was easy to say I was a daddy's girl.

As I grew up always around him my first and only job was working with him, it didn't pay much but I was okay with that because I got to spend all day with my favorite person.

When the apocalypse hits the fan and everything goes bullshit me and my father run for it sadly getting home too late to save Mom, now on the run my dad starts slowing down from age I try and urge him with simple words like " come on we can't stop in the middle of the woods " or " just five more minutes than we can take a break okay Dad? " It wasn't easy on either of us, him because he was dying and me because I was watching my favorite person's light fade. When we finally come across an abandoned cabin in the woods I tell him " rest and keep watch while I look around inside " I walk inside my heavy black boots making a clomp, clomp, clomp sound as I walk cautiously inside with my gun in one hand and my knife in the other. After looking over everything I call my dad in and we set down our backpacks and look for supplies after barricadeing the door and windows. We find some not too expired canned food and eat it with our bare hands laughing at the mess we made when we finish, after throwing halfway cleaning ourselves up we make our bed and camp out on the floor, I fall asleep listening to the loud snoring from my dad.

I wake up to the same snoring, I pack up my things and help him pack up his then we set out, hunting a couple squirrels here and there for road snacks. As a few hours go by my dad starts to slow down but when I say " come on just give more minutes" or " we can't stop here " he doesn't listen he just sits down leaning against a tree and throws his backpack at my feet. I look up at him puzzled but when I do my face drops and tears start to fall as I see his head leaning off to the side at a weird angle, when I call his name through my shaky voice he doesn't respond, I fall to my knees and slowly crawl to him I pull out my hunting knife and plunge the blade into the back of his head causing blood to coat my hands and my blade then lay his head onto the tree, I stand up and kiss his already cold forehead and pick up his backpack and start walking again.

I've lost count of how many days or even weeks have gone by before I'm found by a nice man named arron he takes me under his wing like a father and brings me to Alexandria where I tell them what I'm good at and get a job as the mechanic, working day after day on, under, around and in cars, trucks, and motorcycle of all kinds.

Today was no different than any other I got dressed into my work overalls and I put on a black sleeveless crop top, with my combat boots I always wear and my now shoulder length hair in two French braids with a black bandana over my head with two pieces on the side hanging down as I head to work I bump into Arron on his way to go look for more people to bring in, we exchanged quick hellos as we continue walking to our jobs. I get to my garage and open the bay door and walk in smelling the familiar smell of oil and grease from the vehicles. I put on the small slightly broken radio one of the people from Alexandria found on a run, my heart aches when an old Nirvana song comes on over the radio as I get flashbacks from my dad and me at only 5 years old rocking out in his garage as the same song plays. I hum to myself the lyrics as I get to work, as it hits lunch time I go back to my house and make myself a sandwich and grab a bottle of water and sit on my front steps as I take a break to eat half my sandwich and drinking all of my water, I refill my water and put my sandwich in the fridge of my house and head back to work, I start working but not even a half hour in and someone's calling my name, I slide out from under a car and stand up dusting of my overalls and walking to see why I was being called. As I walk out I'm immediately met with a large group of survivors that Arron has brought back. I smile and shake hands with most of them, as arron shows them around I head back to work completely unaware of the eyes that have been watching my every move from when I came out of the mechanic garage to when I shook hands with everyone to now when I'm walking back, those eyes belonged to none other than thee Daryl Dixon.

An hour or so into working one of the cars breaks I'm called again and nearly walk into a man's chest I let out a slight gasp as I step back looking up at the tall man with long brown shaggy hair and beautiful blue ish green eyes, his clothes were torn and ragged but that's part of what catches my eye, the fact that he's a real survivor. " Y/n this is Daryl, Daryl this is y/n " Arron says as he stands slightly behind this Daryl fellow. I hold out my hand as I'm met with his rough hand as he shakes my hand in return " alright, y/n do you still have that extra bedroom in your house? " Arron again breaks the awkward silence " yes I do why? " Y/n asks breaking eye contact with Daryl. " The other houses are full and Daryl was willing to give up his spot so I was curious if you stay in that bedroom while we work on building more houses for them?" " Oh ummm yeah no problem " y/n strutters slightly cursing herself for being so easily distracted by his broad shoulders and soft eyes.

As I show Daryl the smaller extra room he enters with a grunt as he sets his things down and lays across the bed with a deep sigh. I take that as my leaving signal and I walk downstairs and start making dinner, something simple, spaghetti, spaghetti sauce , and meat balls. Once everything is done I call up to Daryl " dinners ready if you want to eat!" To which I get in response a huff and the squeak of the bedframe and his loud footsteps as he walks downstairs, I set out everything and pull out a bottle of whiskey I had found on one of my runs and pour each of us a glass and start eating, I try and make conversation but it extremely difficult with someone that only responds with " mhm" or soft grunts or nods. After dinner I clean up the table and put the leftovers away, as I start dishes Daryl helps much to my surprise, after dishes are done I was walked out onto the front porch where there was a porch swing my dad would have loved to sit in and people watch, I sit down causing it to squeak quietly as I light a cigarette i look out onto the streets of Alexandria, I'm so zoned out I don't feel the weight on the other end of the swing until a hand comes up to where I'm holding the cigarette causing me to gasp then laugh at the expression on Daryl's face, I apologize and hand him the cigarette and lighter. We spend the rest of the night passing the cigarette back and forth, becoming more comfortable with each other's presence in our lives. Little did I know the effects I was having on the man next to me.

Part 2 anyone???

[msmargaretmurry]

Matthew curls/slutty collarbone-appreciating anon again - BOSTON!!! Home of another rat king! My home! (Not living there at the moment, but I miss it so, if you’ve seen Letterkenny/that one episode with the two dudes from Newfoundland getting all melancholy and homesick when Newfoundland is mentioned, that is me rn. No hard feelings re: Ratthew et al. knocking out Boston, though, I was still cheering for my slutty rat boy in the final.) I hope you and all of the other scholars are having an excellent time! Are you attending/watching any games? Don’t know if the Bruins are home or away tho, I haven’t been to the Garden in years, it’s such a fun venue. Bummed the PWHL team won't be able to play there, but I get it, schedule's packed. (Much as I love Boston, I will readily admit that the fans are… eh. Basketball is probs the best of the bunch.)

Matthew is only escalating his slut phase and I am living for it, that French girl lounging, Matthew is not beating those submissive and breedable accusations (or at least the breedable ones, he’s down for a fight first, if someone wants to wrestle him down and sink their teeth into the back of his neck and hold him there he/I will not be opposed, you know.) And you know, in a post-trade Matthew/Leon scenario, what’s a rat boy to do when he’s surrounded by men who want to fuck him up/probably also fuck him, when his former ?? hookup/fuckbuddy/fuckenemy/boyfriend/baby daddy (????) is all the way in Edmonton, not flirt with them? And of course when you’re a bitchy tank who only gets to play his… whatever Ratthew is to him, best not to think about that, twice a year, you’re not gonna not seize the opportunity/nearest storage closet to chew him up a little. It’s just not done.

I am very here for this vampire AU and neck/throat appreciation/biting. I am also generally here for Matthew the problem child and/or Matthew the generally good and together child whose one moment of rebellion is bringing home a nightmare boyfriend and/or Matthew with daddy problems or at least an adrenaline/danger kink whose constitution is incapable of not goading hot vampire into trying to bite him. And hot vampires cannot be blamed, he is flashing an irresponsible amount of collarbone as is.

hello again anon! yay boston!! absolutely one of my favorite cities. i am home now and even though i love home i am missing it already. just a lovely place to spend a lovely long weekend with lovely friends (whom i also miss already 😭😭😭). i am, i'm sorry to tell you, anti-boston sports (me being an east coaster NOT from boston, i feel like this shouldn't be a surprise), but y'all do always seem have a handful of players i love anyway, and even i must admit fenway is one of the most fun ballparks i've ever been to. the bruins sadly were not in town, but we went to the bc vs. denver game on saturday, and on sunday we schlepped out to worcester for a railers game, and both of those were very fun 💞

but onto the more important topic: our beloved rat boy. a concept related to your original ask i am currently mulling over is one where they are Totally Just Frenemies Who Occasionally Sleep Together (they used to be rivals who occasionally slept together but leon is not going to call anyone who plays in florida a "rival") which means that matthew can fuck whoever he wants. and does. and tells leon all about it while they hook up, and for some reason comes out of these hookups looking like leon tried to eat him alive. perhaps he will need to invest in a tshirt that he hasn't mutilated so that he can talk to the media in the days afterward without showing off all the teeth-shaped bruises he seems to have acquired. surely this all means nothing. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍���️

i have a couple of other asks about the vampire leon extended universe so i am going to save my thoughts about THAT for answering those so i can stick them all in their own tag 😅 thank yoooouuuu for the ask though!! 💖

[emmalostinwonderland]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

Thank you, Chrissy! Y'all go check out their work while you're at it, it's so lovely. Anyway, in no particular order...

never been so weak (never felt so incomplete) / RWRB, Alex/Henry, 11.7k words, rated E

This was experimental for me in a lot of ways, and I think it's one of the best getting-together fics I've ever written. I got to explore the punk scene a little (though the music referenced ended up being more generically "alt", which is what I listen to), as well as looking for ways to tell multiple perspectives from a Third Person Limited style which is how the notes and the song lyrics came to be. If you read it and like it, check out the wonderful 'inspired by' works at the bottom - Chrissy made me a gorgeous playlist and LK did some stunning fanart of punk!Henry.

Butterflies and Tummy Aches / Alex/Henry, 16.6k words (WIP), rated E

This was heavily inspired by How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate though I do think I've led the premise somewhat off the rails by now lol. This fic has been such a blast to work on (until I got stuck - I promise the next chapter is coming, it's like half written), especially with the included social media posts and other images. If you enjoy this one, keep an eye out for... well, the remaining few chapters, but also a podfic coming out sometime after it's actually completed (s/o to Fandom Trumps Hate!)

The Hazards of Falling In Love (Rescue Me) / MCU, Steve/Tony, 4k words, rated T

This was a pinch hit, so it came together very suddenly and very quickly, but it's so special to me. I got to share a lot of my own life experience through this with my chosen career and how that bleeds into other parts of my life. I had just had my first major Signal 1 (officer in trouble) incident a couple weeks before writing this, and I took some time in the middle to get emotional with it and really sit with that. It was healing for me in a way, and I think it made for a better story too. If you like Firefighter AUs, meet-weirds, or coworkers-to-lovers fics, I do recommend this one.

Judged By The Cover / MCU, Steve/Bucky, 32.1k words, rated E

My first writing collab! LK and I had worked together on Hold Me Steady with them doing the art, and we decided that we couldn't just part ways after that. For this one, they wrote all of Bucky's POV, and I did Steve's POV. It's really cute, and even though my writing style has changed somewhat since then, I'm very proud of this fic. If you like non-powers AUs with a dash of miscommunication, you might like this.

Doing It the French (Fry) Way / RWRB, Alex/Henry, 2.7k words, rated E

This is... the dumbest concept I've ever put to paper. Two boys being boys with their sexual food-related shenanigans. But it was so fucking fun to write, and I will never forget the shock and joy of waking up to over 30 comments on it in the first 12 hours. I actually commissioned fanart for it that I need to post as well, so maybe this will get an update real soon!

[mysticstarlightduck]

What’s their opinions on PDA?

Thanks for the ask, @illarian-rambling! Let's go with some couples from What Lurks In The Hollow.

Ask Game Here

Zach Taylors & Amy Millihan

Holding hands, hugs, quick kisses, cute little handshakes and stuff, they love that, they really, really do. HOWEVER. Neither of them like when people get too into Public Displays of Affection - like when they see those couples that full-on french kiss in a public square or get too handsy with each other, it gives them The Ick, and they so hate that.

Dylan Millihan & Christine Nespor

It depends. Dylan's generally really reserved (a very grumpy version of being shy, like "what the fuck you looking at?" when strangers stare or something), and isn't a really touchy-feely person, he doesn't deal with too much touch well. He's more the kind to show his love through quiet actions or begrudging reminders for the other to take care of themselves. Christine is a very hyper extrovert that tends to go all in into relationships, and is very much a hugger and cuddler, but she's very respectful of boundaries. As they interact, Dylan's slowly starting to like hugs - but not too much, and not all the time - and Christine is learning alternative ways to show affection other than physical touch.

Liam Steele & Savvanah Hahn

HECK YEAH, they're into it. They're generally very "loud" with things that they do - in the sense they have a very strong presence that ends up getting all the attention when they're around - and that includes their relationship. They're rarely seen without the other, and they usually walk either holding hands or with their arms around each other's waist. They kiss, lean into each other while playing at an arcade machine, they cuddle, they blast their favorite love songs as loud as possible when in Liam's car. Like "HECK YEAH WE LOVE EACH OTHER, WHAT OF IT? (:". Some people are too quick to judge and think they're too "clingy" to each other but Liam and Savvy are just generally best friends who adore each other's presence - they're The Power Couple of this book.

Erin Niemand & Indigo "Indie" Lauriel

Nope. Erin's a very introverted loner who, for the longest time in her life, didn't have many friends and/or proper social skills. Indie's an extrovert, but she's a more layback kind of extrovert who just generally does her thing and enjoys life. Neither of them are very much into physical touch BUT they do have a secret handshake that only each other knows later on in the story. They do like cuddling while watching movies, but never in public - being too romantic-y in public just feels awkward for them both.

Conner Watsen & Maeve Fernandez

They don't mind it - they'll kiss in public, hug, just generally sit close to each other, give eachother piggyback rides, etc. Both of them just generally mind their own business and live their own lives no matter what others think, but much like Zach & Amy they don't like when people get too into it in public like, "okay, it's wonderful y'all love eachother but goodness that's a bit...intense". It just feels uncomfortable, but they generally just quickly acknowledge it and then carry on like they'd never seen anything amiss.

[eddiediaaz]

thank youuu @arthursdent @leothil @speakncwtv for tagging me!! y'all tagged me in 3 different (but similar vibes) tag games so i just. smashed them together lol (and @badluck-buck just now!!)

nicknames: alie is a nickname, but outside of tumblr it's actually alex more often than not. @tawaifeddiediaz calls me aliealex and mwah i love it

zodiac: taurus taurus virgo

height: 5'1 AND A HALF

favourite music: singer songwriter, indie pop, pop-punk, 00s emo

sweet/spicy/savory: please don't make me choose i love food sweet

relationship status: sadly single

following: 463

followers: 3044

do you get asks: about a couple times a week or less

amount of sleep: uhhh i try to get at least 7 hours in

what you're wearing: random flowy pants and a random tshirt because i work from home lol

dream job: i don't even know anymore to be honest. something with animals i guess, but not a vet. if i had the funds i'd have a sanctuary for senior pets actually

languages: french, english, basic spanish

random fact: i have 3 cats

aesthetic: i don't think i really have one but decor wise i'm obsessed with maximalism and danish pastel

last song: labour by paris paloma

favorite color: bluuue and purple and pink

last film: red, white and royal blue

currently reading (or last read): some buddie fic lmao, but the last actual book i read is also rwrb

currently watching: not watching anything at the moment actually, which is rare

current obsession: hozier!!

last thing you googled: "euro to cad" lmao

tagging these lovelies (no pressure): @jddryder @sticktoyou @eddiebabygirldiaz @barbiediaz @oliverstaark @aziraaphales @crowleydiaz and anyone who wants to do this <3

[tricornonthecob]

Nothing 600 MG of ibu can't fix

LK 117: Captain Quaaludes

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)(pt6)

Ya girl was NOT expecting a traumadump.

She ships it.

Man they are really pushing the "Sarah is desperate for a Positive Female Role Model."

Have you ever been gazed at with admiration by a little girl and then she told you that you're really cool and a good role model before? I have. Its mildly terrifying and looks a little bit like this. Perhaps I am projecting my own experiences.

Y'all are entirely too cute rn we're gonna have to ask you to leave.

Me, thinking about all the white dudes throughout history but especially the 18th century named John:

Honestly I don't think we've ever seen Sarah this shy/quiet/awestruck before. She either really likes the Corbins, is really jonesing for a Surrogate Mom, or both. Maybe she also sees how cute the relationship the woman who looks a bit like her has with the blonde hunk who looks a little bit like other blonde hunks she's into and that is triggering some wistful thoughts. I will spin this into S/J content I stg.

oh my god STOP IT Y'ALL WE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE PDAS

lol holy shit is this grown man pouting.

...what exactly are y'all insinuating.

Captain Molly knows all about John's Pennsylvania 6 Pounder.

*vague hand gesturing* something something edutainment.

DIC: providing children with educational programming supplied by various Rugged Hunks.

....does she have a crush on John Corbin.

How are the Corbins not the most annoying couple in Fort Tryon.

You need to stop flexing that you trapped the cutest hunk your side of the Schuylkill.

Enough of the fluff, its time for more Hunks Delivering Edutainment

Which is deadly fucking serious and will absolutely ice a 70-year-old at sea, did we mention he's literally the best hope for America to court the French.

Please stop minimizing Influenza and take a break, Benji.

"Just curious!"

Sassing Benji Franx is just one of the many privileges of being Captain.

Just for giggles! :)

Benji you have the flu, get away from the splash zone.

The angst potential in the New York Campaign is off the charts tbh. Probably one of my favorite arcs in LK.

Yeah she will

Got your load right here

[icemankazansky]

Tag Game: Get to Know Me

Thanks for the tag, @brendaonao3! (Note for people who tag me in tag games: I love to be tagged in tag games, even though my typical response time suggests otherwise.)

Name: Carly

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Maverick sun, Iceman rising Sagittarius sun, Leo rising, Pisces moon

Number of siblings (+ any fun facts): One of each, both younger. They look like each other, but I don't look like them at all. (Oddly, my sister and I both look like our mother, but in different ways.) When my sister and I were little, my mom used to have to tell people that yes, we had the same father. (Bc people think it's fine to ask stuff like that? Also I have very curly hair, and it's a recessive trait that one person in every generation on my mom's side gets, but people are so weird about natural curls, and every new hair dresser I see asks, "Who did you get them from?" and a disturbing number of them have made jokes about my mother's infidelity and my questionable parentage when I inform them no, neither of my parents have curls. Who raised y'all?)

Number of pets & their names: Currently, I myself only have one animal, my dog, Elio. But 1. I am actively looking for another dog, 2. My family has a ton of dogs, and 3. We all volunteer for dog rescues (Yes, plural. My sister actually started her own 503c NPO rescue a couple years ago bc her own, like, extra credit financing of homeless dog medical bills was going to bankrupt her, so she had to start a charity so people could donate. She specializes in senior and special needs dogs, but works with local city and county animal control agencies so she gets a lot of breeder and hoarder surrenders, and subsequently ends up with, for example, 18 purebred Bernese Mountain Dog puppies several times a year.) The point is, there's, like, a whole lot of dogs in here.

Fandoms: They are legion. Mostly active in Top Gun rn. Again. Still. Still again.

Favorite song: They too are legion, but include Fiona Apple - I Know, Fleetwood Mac - Silver Springs, Hozier - From Eden, Lake Street Dive - Good Kisser, Bad Company - Bad Company, Natalie Merchant - My Skin. Lately, I'm listening to the following a very normal amount: Tracy Chapman - You're the One (it is Icemav af BTW check it out)

Favorite author: Fiction: Neil Gaiman. Nonfiction: Mary Roach.

Favorite fic type: I like established relationships, true love and people just enjoying each other, and happy endings.

Favorite holiday: Ugh I hate this. Um, New Years Eve.

Do you have a partner (romantic, qpr, etc)?: I already told you I have a dog. Nope.

Hobbies: Dogs, writing, art of various kinds (mostly drawing, some painting, and I am always trying new things like building a tufted headboard, teaching myself to sew, or making custom funko pops), gif making, Val Kilmer.

Fun facts about you: I've never had a cavity. I ran over myself with my own car. I can't figure out if I have 12 tattoos or 13. I can French and Dutch braid my own hair. My favorite perfume is Chance by Chanel, but I also wear Daisy by Marc Jacobs if I want something lighter.

[valiantlyjollynightmare]

15 Questions / 15 People

Thank you so much for tagging me, @hanabiri!!! sorry it took me a while to get to it

1. Are you named after anyone? Not that I know of, and I only have one name so oop. But I guess you could say Ițm named after a saint and that means I get to "celebrate" my name day like, 6 times every year. Which only means I have to deal with annoying wishes from poeple I never talk to.

2. What was the last time you cried? A couple of days ago - I don't remember exactly when - but I was down in the funks and didn't feel better until a small bout of crying and a good sleep.

3. Do you have kids? Nope and I hope i won't be having any for a while yet because I still feel like a kid myself.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No really? I think? If I do, I don't use it consciously tbh. I guess my friends would be better qualified to tell.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? If they smile. Or like, their general attitude and vibes.

6. What’s your eye color? Gray

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings always and forever, preferably with a little romance thrown in.

8. Any special talents? Uh. I can make people laugh a lot - usually at least half because my laughter in itself is funny and contageous and I laugh a lot.

9. Where were you born? In a small town in eastern Romania which means I have a nice accent even in Romanian, let alone in English, French and Japanese.

10. What are your hobbies? Writing hands down. Sometimes i paint - I love painting walls. Sometimes I fiddle with a guitar and a piano but I never managed to get any good at them. I would love to though. And I read a lot of fanfics and romance books because i'm basic.

11. Do you have a pet? A white mostly deaf cat but it's not necessarily mine as much as the family's.

12. What sports do you play/have played? Did some volley in highschool but I was never much of a sports person. If I had anyoine to play to, I'd play badminton and jump rhe rope though.

13. How tall are you? 1.63 m. Not too tall, not too short.

14. Favorite subject in school? English (as a foreign language).

15. Dream job? Screenwriter for an animation show. but this has really low chances of being more than a dream considering animation is basically dead in Romania and I don't really want to leave abroad.

I don't think I know 15 people on here, but here we go - y'all don't have to do this of course, only if you want to @miabrown007, @fragileizy, @madchattery, @razvyzblr, @completelyseriouscontent, @no2ticonderoga, @middle-class-trash, @magpie-allosaurus, @sizzleissues and whoever else wants to do this

[wtfuckevenknows]

Thanks for the tag @firstprince-history-huh 😘

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

day before yesterday and I can't remember what it was but I do remember thinking Hey, for once it wasn't Andie's fault 😂

3. Do you have kids?

20

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

definitely. so much that even my kids know how to read and use sarcasm 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Tried a couple of things as a kid. I used to do cheer until I was like 10, played Handball for 9 years and I was actually pretty good but then I got injured and never came back from that.

Nowadays I love Zumba. I would be playing lacrosse if there was more than one club in this city because an ex friend plays there and no thanks.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

This one just made me think and think and think and I don't have an answer for you, but I will pay attention to this the next time I meet someone new 🫠

7. What’s your eye color?

💚 (and sometimes blue, but more green than blue really)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Y'all should be able to answer this question yourself 🤣

(the happy ending OBVIOUSLY)

9. Any special talents?

Don't think so? I'm good at a lot of things actually, but I don't think I'm excellent or especially talented at anything.

10. Where were you born?

Cologne, my beloved hometown ❤️

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, Traveling, Photography (I should not be allowed to say this with how little time I actually spent on photography the last couple of years), Cooking/Baking/Charcuterie

12. Do you have pets?

Not really, but Hugo..

13. How tall are you?

165cm

14. Favorite subject in school?

Maths...by faaaaaar! And then English, because I was that annoying student who wasn't either good at languages (I also did French and Italian) or Maths but both 😅

15. Dream job?

Photographer

No pressure tags: @beautifulhigh @paperstorm @bubblesandroses8 @heartstringsduet @loveconquersall @noxsoulmate @lire-casander @fitzherbertssmolder @goodways @teeveeyou @three-drink-amy

[thistableforone]

piling up here a couple of tag games I've tagged in ✨

tagged by @taeminsairpods ty 🌺

rules: tag 10 (or less) people you want to get to know better

relationship status: single

favorite color: currently green

song stuck in my head: harakiri by rancore

three favorite foods: i truly enjoy and appreciate food so much i can't choose, the plainest thing will be my fav until i eat something else

last song i listened to: see the song stuck in my head

dream trip: oh ireland!! it lives in my mind rent free🥺

last thing i googled: an open restaurant in croatia for my boss

10 comfort movies:

top gun

top gun: maverick

il paradiso all'improvviso

tre uomini e una gamba

big hero 6

notting hill

the fabelmans

moschettieri del re

portrait of a lady on fire

ice age

tagged by @shoesplease ty 🌸

tea, coffee, or soda? I'm not crazy about any of them but i do enjoy a good coffee

dogs or cats? cats my absolute beloved ❤️

can you play an instrument? like every other italian student i used to play the recorder but realistically... no. i'd love to learn to play drums tho!!

what’s your sun sign? capricorn

first song lyrics that pop into your head? see above lmao harakiri, harakiri e spero tu ci goda / harakiri, harakiri e il petto mi si svuota / harakiri, harakiri e in tanto va di moda / questo è l'harakiri per ogni stronzo che mi odia (this reminds me a bit of the last samurai)

do you have any tattoos? nope

favorite place you’ve traveled? almost 10 years later i'm still thinking about fontaine-de-vaucluse (france), that place felt heavenly

what’s the last movie you watched? bullet train. it's a huge no for me.

do you have any hobbies? i love photography 📸 and reading, writing, going to second hand fairs with my brother. i enjoy leaning about economics and politics when in the right mood. I'm also trying to relearn french. coding would also be very interesting

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour… who do you choose? OH DEAR how can i choose. i like something relaxing so not mav or ethan lmao. I'll say maura isles ❤️

compliment yourself: I'm calm, reliable and loyal. very down to earth.

ik i should tag sb but so many of y'all have already been tagged idk who to add and i also don't want to bother anyone 😭

[desireandduty]

When did you first start writing?

In what language did you start writing?

If your mother tongue is not the language you write now, what caused you to switch languages?

What was the first muse that you’ve written?

Do you still write your first muse?

What is the muse that you write for the longest?

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?)

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

Do you regret starting writing?

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience?

Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

How do you describe writing / rp to others?

On what platform did you start to write?

Canon Muses.

What is your favorite canon muse?

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

Munday Meme ask from @corruptedforce

Basics.

When did you first start writing?

In elementary school. I think I was in like... second grade when I started writing a novel with my best friend from school. I have no idea what happened to it and can only vaguely remember the plot. I believe it was historical fiction. I was way obsessed with "the pioneers" at that time cuz I was reading Little House on the Prairie.

In what language did you start writing?

En anglais. No really - English. I did write in French for my French degree, but that was like... essay writing. Not fiction.

If your mother tongue is not the language you write now, what caused you to switch languages?

N/A

What was the first muse that you’ve written?

Lily Evans! Mah poor girl who is also misaligned as a boring goody two shoes with a stick up her ass.

Do you still write your first muse?

Uhhhhh like I probs could. And every time Tanya talks about her James Potter muse it tempts me. For now, I think I'll stick to fanfic though. I found some rad writers.

What is the muse that you write for the longest?

Most def Lily.

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?)

OH GOD. Ok so I started out on NEOPETS y'all. I bet some of you younguns don't even know what that is. I never wrote in first person. Always third. But I started out writing 1-3 sentence replies haha.

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

Trying to think back - I genuinely loved the world of Harry Potter. I was about the same age as Harry when the first of the books came out. And like... I'm a sucker for couples with a tragic ending if you can't tell, so I was fascinated by the story of his parents. Plus Lily seemed like such a bad ass to me. She never came off to me as a tight wad, know-it-all. She was brave and confident in a way that I wasn't as a teenager, so I wanted to get inside her head and be her for a bit.

Do you regret starting writing?

No! Cause I have made some awesome friends along the way. And it's been so fun.

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience?

Uhhhh no?

Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

LOL no. I don't think they'd understand. Actually I did tell ONE friend that I wrote fanfiction (bc I did. Y'all somewhere out there is my ff.net account with a VERY shitty story about Frodo Baggins and some hobbit lady post-ROTK and a very trite Harry Potter fanfic. I don't even remember my username for it anymore.

How do you describe writing / rp to others?

See above

On what platform did you start to write?

Already answered - Neopets. :D

Canon Muses.

What is your favorite canon muse? I would say it's Lily Evans, butttttt honestly at this point, I think it might be Lyla from SOA. That was just such a fun muse to write and a departure from the type of muses I gravitate towards. It's also the absolute least canon I've ever written a muse, because the whole thing was AU but WHATEVER 😉

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book? BAHAHAH most def it's Padme! I did not love the prequel trilogy as much as the OT when it first came out. I loved Leia as a girl. She was one of my idols. Padme is a bamf as Queen Amidala in TPM, but after that, with the exception of a couple of quips in AOTC ("I call it aggressive negotiations" omfg stop I love that line), she's pretty bland. And her death was just SO LAME. Ugh. Anyway. Since I am not contained by the stupidity of canon in the RPC, I really enjoy just giving her my own spin on her!

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

As promised, here's that separate post about the BMW art cars. Well, I elected to make a reblog of this post, but I feel like it can count as a separate post. Or rather, separate posts, because even discounting the more unofficial entries in the series there are too many for just one. Whatever.

Please hop on down the Read More and vote your favorite! Don't worry, I'm not gonna make another essay down there :)

BMW Art cars, pt.1: The Race Cars

1. Alexander Calder's 1975 BMW 3.0 CSL

Well, rather, French racer and auctioneer Hervé Poulain's, but I think when I write that you understand that I mean the man asked American sculptor Alexander Calder, most famous for hanging shit off of shit hanging off of shit hanging off a roof, to paint up the car he would race at the 24h of Le Mans achieving the historical placement of broke down. The following year Calder followed suit by dying, which I'm sure did wonders to the value of this car.

And I'm delighted to announce that yes, that enormous rear wing was included in the roadgoing 3.0 CSL, it being homologation version of the racecar. And I mean "was included", not "was on" - it was so damn big BMW wasn't even allowed to sell the car with it, so buyers just found it in the trunk for them to install.

2. Frank Stella's 1976 BMW 3.0 CSL

BMW seemed rather fond of this idea of racing at Le Mans with a BMW 3.0 CSL a famous artist painted up (well, drew up a livery for anyway, this and Calder's designs were materially painted by a BMW guy), seeing as the next year there Frank Stella was making a livery inspired by "the technical basis of the object itself", hence the graph paper-looking base.

This one, however, was in a faster class. Like, 750 horsepower fast. If y'all think that is any less than jaw dropping for 1976, please have another look at the power figures of the two fastest street cars of a decade later. Cars that were significantly heavier than this.

3. Roy Lichtenstein's 1977 BMW 320i Turbo

Third time being the charm, this "landscape-reflecting" 3-series snagged a win! Well, in its class, anyway - but a 9th place overall is nothing to scoff at when it comes to Le Mans. And Roy Lichtenstein is no one to scoff at when it comes to the art world, either. Nor spelling, really, but I think I've done it. R-o-y, right?

Ah, tho, the good ol' days when turbochargers were so cool and exotic even racecars would brag about them. Because this wasn't a "we're making a 320i Turbo racecar to sell the 320i Turbo road car" kinda thing, the 320i Turbo was the racecar version of the 320i. Like "it's the turbocharged one, i.e. the racecar". Makes sense they'd push this idea, of course, having been the first in Europe to put that tech in road cars with this car's predecessor a couple years prior (ʞγʞγi).

4. Andy Warhol's 1979 BMW M1

The yearly cadence dropped with this one, unlike the weight, which Warhol's paintbrush upped by six kilos (for the yankees, that's 53 hamburgers). Not that it stopped the thing from reaching sixth overall, though, so whatever.

Fitting though, isn't it, that an artist as eclectic as Andy Warhol would end up working on the car BMW broke into Lamborghini to steal the means of production of. That's not, like, a metaphor, or hyperbole, for those wondering. But hearing details of such stories is what the follow button's for, isn't it ;)

5. Michael Jagamara Nelson's 1989 BMW M3 Group A

Michael Jagamara Nelson, of the Aboriginal Walrpiri tribe, paint-stakingly (har har) created a representation of an areal view of a landscape over the course of seven days - and said he included a kangaroo and possum as well! :)

This second generation of the 3 series was the first to receive an M version, i.e. a high strung, sport version tuned by BMW Motorsport, legally separate entity from BMW that created the aforementioned M1, hence the name: M (sorry, ///M) version of the 3 series, M3. The M1 was not a version of anything, it was just the first-

wait.

Is this...

Are all these descriptions...

Awh, I'm doing another essay again! Dammit!

6. Ken Done's 1989 BMW M3 Group A

Nope. Not doing it! I am shutting right up, and you can just look at (look for?) the parrots and parrot fish this Aussie guy painted on there seeking to represent modern Australia (well, 1989 Australia at least), bask in the immaculate good vibes and not wade through any more of my ramblings. There. Isn't that much better?

7. Sandro Chia's 1992 BMW M3 GTR Racing Prototype

A car is a coveted object in our society. All eyes are upon it. This car reflects their gaze. -Sandro Chia, roughly

Yep. That's all. And if you think that's paring down the descriptions:

8. Jenny Holzer's 1999 BMW V12 LMR

Why even say anything about the paintjob when saying things is what the paintjob does? More specifically:

MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS

YOU ARE SO COMPLEX YOU DON’T RESPOND TO DANGER

LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL

In the headrest, WHAT URGE WILL SAVE US NOW THAT SEX WON’T? [editor's note: infodumping?]

and, most importantly,

9. Jeff Koons' 2010 BMW M3 GT2

Yep, the guy who made the Haruhi'd balloon dog (or, well, the guy whose entirely uncredited workshop did) and a series of works that was literally just porn of him and his wife also came up with this livery which he claims to be representing "a stream of life energy" or thereabouts.

Given what I've gathered to be the platform's sentiment towards the dude, I feel like this is a good moment to kindly ask y'all to separate the art from the artist with your vote. For one, if you lament that the people working under these artists deserve more credit, then surely you should want better for their work than being spat upon by proxy. For two, casting your vote based on the artist would just be unfair if there are artists here you know nothing about. For all you know they could be even bigger assholes! I mean, what do you know about Michael Jagamara Nelson, besides that he comes after "Ooh-e-ooh-a-ah"? (Well, we also know that about Koons, but I digress.) And for three, the artistry involved in the creation of the work may be completely separate from how well it works on the car. A very bad artwork can still be a very good livery.

And vice versa.

To be clear, this is a call for impartiality rather than an outright support for Koons' car. Though I must say I like how it screams "fast" and uses bright colors in a way that makes it recognizable even from a helicopter. Which, conveniently, were also goals of the next artist.

10. John Baldessari's 2016 BMW M6 GTLM

I mean. That's not not doing that. But, you know, most Art Cars seek to represent something - be it about their own backgrounds, the context the cars are in, or the very cars themselves. Does this car do that? Does Baldessari's work represent the car it's on?

There was also this one made with AR in 2017 but I did not include it on principle because I do not believe digital swirls you need an app to see can woo their way into counting as a livery.

what do you like about cars?

I think you knew, upon asking this, that I could only ever have answered with either an ironic one-liner or a dozen-part novel. And unfortunately, this is already the second line, so novel it is. So then, without any further ado than the literal half year that’s gone by since this was asked, let's go.

1. Engineering matters

At the end of last year (aka when I started writing this, yikes) my dear old iPhone 6S moved on to a new home because it simply wasn't keeping up with me anymore. (And again, I was using an iPhone 6S in 2023. If I say a phone is too slow, it's too slow.) I had plenty of criteria for the replacement: a smallish screen not overboard on resolution, ideally a physical media control button and/or vibration toggle, repairability, a FUCKING AUX JACK... Something like the Sony Xperia 10, whose only real issue is marketing so trash you've only just now learned Sony never stopped making phones.

And yet...

This fancy wallpapers-sporting foldable is a Motorola RAZR 5G, a phone whose too-big screen already broke (though at the edge due to adhesive issues) and those who dared try warn repairing it will be as hard as phone repairs get. Why the fuck did I buy this? Well, because it has something more important than the aux jack, proper sizing, and good cameras: it made me go “That’s so cool!”, and when’s the last time a phone made you say that? It's the cusp of a new technology, and whether it becomes the future of phones, a future of phones, or just a weird footnote, it is an island of interesting in a sea of boring. And sadly, even this island is rapidly sinking. The drive for new form factors has already boiled down to the same two phones and their evolution is sinking into the usual millimetric proportion tweaking, camera rearranging, touchscreen expanding, case material switching, fingerprint sensor moving, and spec improvements not even manufacturers can come up with use cases for. I mean, seriously, how does the iPhone 15 differ from a software-updated iPhone X (which is apparently not pronounced "x", so I guess the iPhone Twitter)? Nothing is new. Nothing is tackled differently. The user experience does not differ. And why should it, when iPhone users will get a new one out of habit anyway and many are so tech illiterate moving a button could hospitalize them? Five generation newer and 150% faster are numbers you basically have to trust, because they don't make a difference that matters.

But in cars? 150% faster will matter alright. Even just looking at it. Cars are a visceral experience to even witness, let alone ride in or drive, and the frantic engineering pursuits for performance and overall capability actually have impactful real world implications beyond "some pockets will bulge 1mm less". And their engineering involves so many fields that there’s always a breakthrough going on somewhere - which leads to another reason their engineering is so interesting: there’s simply so much of it that anyone interested in engineering will find something for them, no matter their level or sector of expertise! Interested in mechanics? Well, obviously you’ll have a field day! Aerodynamics? Don't even get me started! Electronics? You're getting more goods by the year! It spread from engine management to safety assists to infotainment to ergonomic adjustments to even suspension and aerodynamics! Sound design? Even just working on the way engines sound is a profession of its own, let alone making these barrels of metal and glass propelling themselves at triple digit speeds through hundreds of explosions a second things you can comfortably have a conversation in - and that's not even mentioning horns and chimes! Hi-Fi? We’ve spent most of a century trying to get concert hall sound from a tiny tin can where everyone sits off-center and everything bumps and shakes around and you have maybe room for two components* a third the normal size and speakers can only be in a handful of places you wouldn’t want them which may well be the next room over**!

And this is just engineering.

*Like everything in the car world, there are exceptions to that

**For those unfamiliar, subwoofers, the speakers dedicated to, indeed, sub-bass, due to their frequent humongousness are often installed in the trunk.