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Maryland Artist @KPCANNONS Drops His Impressive Debut Project "The Funeral"
Maryland Artist @KPCANNONS Drops His Impressive Debut Project “The Funeral”
20 yr. old Maryland artist KP Cannon’s highly –anticipated debut project “The Funeral” is finally here. “The Funeral” is more than an album, it’s an audible story of triumph, risk, reward, obsession and paranoia. It’s a dark project that incorporates a cohesive mix of cinematic melodies and gritty trap with infectious, immersive production from beginning to end. It’s actually very captivating…
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(FAT TREL)
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Lights Out
Chris Brown Tyga Fat Trell
Okaaaaay! Put me on!
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(fifty one years ago - the cure for death)
AO3 Link
As an infant, Hermann Graf had been rescued from a purge of the previous royal family by a man named Titus Hölderlin, who was the leader of the Monarchists, loyalists to the Old Kings and the League of Azurant, persistent thorns in the side of the Empire.
As a toddler, he had been formally adopted by the Empress, in condemnation of the officers who had carried out the purge. As a child, he was handed over to the imperious and cruel instructors at a military school called the Black Stair. On his third day there, he had murdered another boy in a fistfight. As a teenager, he commanded the devotion of the other students as though he were the Emperor himself. As a man, he was adored by the officers and men who served with him, a hero of the Great War Against the Dead.
As the Tyrant of Belar, he sat in the lounge of an Imperial hospital, waiting for his amercer to die.
Another officer came into the room and stood near the door, and for a long time Graf ignored him, drowning in his own thoughts. Perhaps that was fitting, he was half Azuranti, and all Azuranti died of drowning.
“General,” said the man, after a time.
Graf looked up. It was Johnathan Best. Best was not yet his second-in-command, but that would change in the next few days. He looked typical of the Valdioran officer cadre, narrow and dark, all hard lines and clean angles, everything about him sharp. His hair was very black, his back was very straight, and his eyes were very blue. No beard, no wedding ring, no visible tattoos. The Imperial schools churned out interchangeable men like this at a rate of hundreds or thousands per year. There were always wars to fight.
Graf wondered how long he’d been waiting and said, “Sit down,” gesturing at one of the chairs.
Now they sat in silence, instead of sitting and standing.
“I know who you are,” Graf said. “I remember you from the War. Amercer Brandt’s bodyguard.”
“I’m flattered,” Johnathan said. This time, the silence was shorter. “How is amercer Dahn?”
“They’re making him comfortable,” said Graf. "His wife is with him."
“There’s nothing the White Registry can do?” Johnathan wondered.
“He has broken-tile wasting sickness,” Graf said, putting words to it. “The physicians miss the early warning signs, sometimes.”
To wither away from the broken-tile wasting sickness was considered one of the worst ways for a man to die. A person would waste away until they were a husk, suffering in agony until their heart gave out. Neither John nor Graf spoke of it aloud any further. They both knew.
“I’m sorry, General,” Johnathan said. “I truly am. He’s so young—”
“Twenty-nine,” said Graf, and with a great deal of effort, wrenched his thoughts from the subject. “Johnathan, why are you here?”
“Ah,” said Johnathan. “That. There’s something you should come and see.”
*** *** ***
In Sancrist, there was a physician from the White Registry named Phineas Trell, and for some years he had kept a number of secret laboratories beneath the Godscar. It was here he conducted experiments on prisoners and Alchemicals which were equally amoral and profane. The exact details were best left unmentioned, but knowing the consequences, he had taken steps to hide them from the eyes of the White Registry, Hermann Graf and his officers.
In fact, he might have concealed the laboratory forever, if not for the breakout.
It was the carnage of this breakout that Hermann Graf and Johnathan Best now surveyed.
The lab was in ruins. One of the containment silos had been breached in the fighting, and the contents, a neon riot of tropical plants and their accompanying insects (some kind of fat yellow beetles — though neither man could identify any of it), had spilled out onto the concrete floor, contaminating everything.
The staff were all dead, and the bodies that were immediately recognizable as humans had been covered with tarps. In other places, gore and tatters of meat clung to the walls, ceilings, and floors. One, or perhaps several, of the drains were clogged, and blood pooled on the floor up against the western wall. A foot, with part of the leg attached, rested against a pile of broken bricks, the cuff of a prisoner’s pant leg still clinging to the ankle. The eastern wall had been smashed apart and stood open to the air, like the courtyard of a plaza estate. Snow was falling freely through the breach, turning pink as it built up on the floor.
The centerpiece of the labs was a monument that consisted of three towering black obelisks. Each of them was more than twice the height of a man, and was carved from a stone-like material that seemed to absorb light. It wasn’t xeract — Graf had only limited experience with it, but he knew that chaosmatter looked different. Carved upon the surface of the pillars were alien letters, the writing disjointed and uneven, twisting about like the tentacles of an octopus.
He was not a wizard, but as he approached the circle of glyphs that surrounded the lowest part of the monument, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and Graf felt the thrum of power in the air.
Over the monument, the image of a death’s head lurked on the furthest wall from the door. Graf wasn’t unfamiliar with the symbol, it was common enough in Imperial heraldry that even the Paladins used it, but something about this one in specific was disquieting. The grinning silver skull seemed to be watching him, almost leering, as if the empty sockets could follow his movements.
“How did Trell build all this without anyone knowing?” he demanded of Johnathan, who walked alongside him.
“We think—” Johnathan took a deep breath and let it out. “—he may have forced some of the Shaa prisoners to hollow out the chamber for him. Besides that, Trell is an extremely talented wizard, White Registry, First Class. You can see how the walls are smooth, General.” He pointed them out. “There are no tool marks.”
Graf allowed himself to be begrudgingly impressed with Johnathan’s observations, but in truth, that was the only kind of impressed that Graf ever was. In places where the stone was bare, he saw the purple-black after-images of the Godscar’s taint. They were near one of the main veins.
“What escaped from here?” Graf asked, his eyes taking in the size of the breach. “A giant?”
Johnathan nodded. “It tore apart one of the monster-hunting squads. Seven men dead. Hölderlin was leading them, he said he shot the… he also called the creature a giant, in the face, and it barely slowed down.”
“...and Hölderlin?”
“The doctors don’t think he’s going to live. His ribs are crushed, and even if he makes it, he’s going to lose a lung.”
One of the thick, yellow beetles that was scuttling along the floor approached Graf’s boot and he shifted his weight, bringing his foot down on it with a satisfying crunch.
“Get Emil and his team down here,” he said, and pointed upwards, at the pillars. “I want those blasted into rubble, and I want anything that’s left pulverized into dust with sledgehammers. After that, sanitize the entire site. Burn Trell's libraries and every other scrap of paper in here. Put Auren in a hole until I can deal with him personally. Arrest anyone else you even suspect of being loyal to Trell. Confine all the White Registrars to their rooms and put guards on them. Send the Shrikes up to my office.”
“Which Shrikes, General?”
“All of them, pull them in from Oswald and Vanto too. Whatever escaped, I want it found.” Graf gestured to the ruin of the labs. “All of this was not to contain a single monster, no matter how large. More than one creature escaped.”
“General,” Johnathan said, and he saluted, in the old way.
“Titus trusted me with the life of his granson, so tell Auren that if Hölderlin dies, I'll have his fucking head, and I will mail it to Orima in a box.”
John nodded, in immediate agreement. Orima was Marius Hölderlin's elder sister, and Valdinoran blood debts could only be paid out with Valdinoran blood.
“One more thing,” said Graf.
“Yes?”
Graf looked to Johnathan. “Where is Phineas, right now?”
“We have him in one of the containment cells, General.”
“Then, before you do any of that,” said Graf, “take some men over there and shoot him in the face.”
Johnathan nodded, and he left Graf alone in the ruins.
Graf’s intention had been to leave immediately and go to his office, but when he tried to turn away from the three pillars, he found that he couldn’t. Without John’s voice to listen to, he heard music emanating from them, ethereal and somber. There were voices in the song, his mother and father, the Empress, the chorus of the dead from the War. They called out to him, and his desire to leave the room melted away. He wanted very badly to be with them, he realized, and he reached out with one hand.
“I wouldn’t get any closer if I were you,” a voice called out, from behind him.
It broke the spell, and Graf turned around. Phineas Trell stood there.
Graf looked down, he stood on the edge of the circle, near the three black pillars, ready to step across and touch the closest one. How much time had passed was difficult to tell. He would have said a few seconds, if he had been questioned, but through the breach in the wall, Graf saw that the sun had moved.
It was not the time to be contrary, and he took a step away, and then another, glaring at Trell.
The physician was tall, but narrow and angular. Ugly, if Graf was being honest about it, but that was not his most pressing concern. Trell walked upright and proud, though he was eighty-seven years old and it showed in his wispy white hair and sallow, blotchy skin. His work coat was unevenly buttoned, stained with some unidentifiable fluid.
“General Graf,” he said as he started forward, and Trell had the tone of a grandparent delighted to see a favorite grandchild. “Were you dreaming? Did you see anything interesting?”
Graf’s hand fell to the hilt of his sword.
“No need for that,” said Trell.
“Where’s Johnathan?” Graf asked.
“Hermann,” said Trell, sternly. “The boy attacked me in my cell.”
“Is he dead?” Graf asked.
Trell stopped twenty feet away from the ring of glyphs, and he clasped his hands behind his back. “He’ll be fine.”
Graf relaxed, just slightly, and since he could kill Phineas at any time, he gestured to the chamber, the ruined laboratory rooms, the breach in the wall. “What is all this? Explain yourself.”
“It's a place of power,” said Trell, as though it were obvious. He nodded towards the monument. “A relic left behind by an Empire far older than ours is. Older than Azurant, and life on this planet.”
Not for long, thought Graf, though what he said was, “What are you doing with it?”
“How old are you, Hermann?”
“Does that matter?”
“Just answer.”
“Two-hundred and ninety-six years.”
“You scarcely look a day over thirty.” Trell beamed. “How fortunate for you. I have no divine blood myself, so you can only imagine what it feels like to grow old amongst men such as yourself.”
“This other Empire,” Graf said, “they had anagathics? Is that it?”
Trell admired the pillars. “They had the cure for death, General.”
“I don't believe you,” said Graf, bluntly, dismissing curiosity.
"Don't you?"
“We’re here and they’re not.”
“Hear me out—”
“I’ve heard all I intend to, you degenerate witch.” Graf drew his sword. “I won’t even burden the Magisterial Director with listening to this shit, he can sentence you posthumously.”
“Don’t you dare speak to me about degeneracy,” said Trell, his expression twisting into fury.
Graf crossed the space between them and seized Trell by the straps of his work coat, wielding him backwards until the old man (or perhaps the young man, when compared to Graf himself) hit the wall with a dull thud. There was an audible crunch as Trell's ribs broke, and it made Graf think of the beetle. He raised the blade, and the black edge of it glinted in the cold light that was filtering in through the breach.
“Stop!” cried Trell, gasping and desperate. There were flecks of blood on his lips.
Graf didn’t.
“I can save them!” Phineas howled out, as the blade cut his neck. Whether he meant Dhan or Hölderlin, or Graf’s parents, or the dead from the War, he didn’t specify. Perhaps he didn’t need to, because Graf hesitated.
That was the beginning of the end.
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉Fat Trel aka Fat Trell New Hot HIT Song 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=7w31Gv6C3Pg
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Aglio e Olio Fettuccine Pasta 🤤 . Creamy as well as Yummy 😍 Tag your Bhukkad friends ‘Khao Toh Sahi’ . Taste: 3.6/5 Cost: 400+taxes . Follow @our.delhi For #foodporn 🍑 👻saurabh_gulab For #memes & More 🤙 . #food #foods #foodie #foodporn #delhifoodblogger #sodelhi #zingyzest #ourdelhi #heydelhi #foodtalkindia #foodphotography #foodgasm #trell #vforveggie #yum #yummy #nomnom #delhifoodie #delhi_igers #mymagicpindelhi #delhigram #delhi #foodblogger #blogger #buzzfeedfood #vegetarian #delhifoodie #delhi (at Fat Jar Café & Market)
#sodelhi#yummy#foods#nomnom#foodgasm#food#foodie#trell#delhigram#delhi_igers#yum#blogger#heydelhi#ourdelhi#delhifoodie#foodphotography#foodblogger#vforveggie#delhi#zingyzest#vegetarian#memes#foodporn#buzzfeedfood#foodtalkindia#mymagicpindelhi#delhifoodblogger
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Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
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Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
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Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
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Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
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Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
0 notes
Text
Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says
While it is true that Rick Ross is in the hospital, his friend Fat Trell wants everyone to know that he is NOT on life support, contrary to earlier reports. Ross was rushed to the hospital last night after someone called 911 to report that the rapper was unresponsive and breathing heavy. The caller said […]
The post Rick Ross Is NOT on Life Support, Maybach Music Group Rapper Fat Trel Says appeared first on Information Overload News.
from Information Overload News http://www.informationoverload.news/rick-ross-is-not-on-life-support-maybach-music-group-rapper-fat-trel-says/
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Hey, let’s talk about the awesome kids I have as neighbors :D
So there are a few kids in my building who like to come over and play video games. Them, along with my friend/their older brother Tay, all roast each other and play video games on the weekends (though it has been sans Tay, since he’s off in the army for a while ; w ;). The kids still come over on occasion regardless. I tend to refer to them as “my kids,” to my friends. Most of these kids are siblings, except for two, who aren’t related to the other like, 5 or so, but are cousins to each other.
First up is
Nyla: She’s a cute little, six or so?, year old. For her age, she’s pretty good a smash bros, though obviously she’s not great, cuz she’s only six. She doesn’t come around as often anymore (mostly because I grew very tired of essentially babysitting. Smash isn’t quite as fun when one of your opponents has a hard time getting back on stage, and interrupts the FITE you’re trying to have with someone else, as well as getting pouty and crying when she loses a lot. Not fun at all). When she is here and plays though, we have realized she is not good enough to be an opponent (obviously), but dangerous enough to not be ignored (Little Mac is her favorite and that sucker hits hard). We call her the Stage Hazard.
Next we have Young, about 10 or 11 or something like that. Young’s kind of a spazzy kid. And I feel like I might be making bad assumptions or something, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was autistic or something of that nature (keeping in mind that I don’t know, and it certainly doesn’t make a difference to me if he is, just something I’ve thought might be possible). I also have no idea what signs of autism are, nor do I know any common behaviors beyond the extremely stereotyped “bad social skills, likes trains” stereotype (which I’m sure is an incredibly over-generalization).
His social skills aren’t fantastic and he just kinda says random things sometimes? He’s a good kid though, but he’s certainly not good at playing nice with the other kids, y’know? But then, the other kids are also not very nice to him either (it’s kind of a back and forth thing. They’d be nicer if he was nicer, but he’s not, so then they’re meaner to him, and then he’s meaner back and just endless circle of boo). If he’s over by himself he’s perfectly content just playing Super Mario Bros. for wii (his favorite one. He always restarts it for some reason every time he picks it up again), and talking to himself. He gets real salty real fast is smash though, and him and his brother usually slap each other at least once when they’re playing smash. If he’s getting pouty it’s pretty easy to cheer him up by making him laugh (usually by way of threatening to tickle him). His other favorite game to play is Life is Strange, which obviously isn’t really the most appropriate game for a kid, but I didn’t feel like it was bad enough to say no. He really likes it, and it was interesting to sit and watch him think about what decisions to choose and why. He was pretty introspective with it tbh. He choose to have Chloe and Max kiss, and then acted like it was so scandalous, but he didn’t rewind and change it at all XD
At first I was 100% sure he only ever came over to play video games, but I have learned that he does indeed like me and think I’m nice. (At some point he made a grand exit to go play with some of his friends and he stopped at the door, turned to us and pointed at each one going “you suck, you suck, you suck,” *points at me* “you’re cool,” *points at last kid* “and you really suck, PEACE.” And just left XD Then again, one time he did promise me he’d beat me in smash over and over again so much that I’d get really mad and cry about it (to which I told him “kiddo, if you get good enough at smash that I lose multiple times in a row I will be the happiest person and super proud of you”). He seemed a bit confused and sad that I wasn’t gonna be salty about it XD One time his family went to Chuck-E-Cheese and he brought me back vampire teeth, like what a sweetheart?? I mean, they were too small for my adult teeth but I appreciate that he spent some tickets on me. Young’s favorite Smash characters are Cloud, Captain Falcon, and Ike (sometimes he picks up Little Mac).
Next up is Leeniel (or LeeLee, as we call him. Also I have no idea how to spell his actual name): I think he’s maybe 12 or so? Lee’s actually not around very much. When he is here he’s usually quiet (though he does talk during the match and all that. We all gotta trash talk in this group). He likes to draw (in fact, for my birthday last month he drew me a very adorable picture of Toon Link, one of my smash mains. Like how sweet and awesome are my kids? I love them). I can’t really say much about Lee, other than he’s pretty cocky about his Smash Bros. skills (he’s better than Young, but still not better than Trell, who I’ll talk about in a bit). Lee’s favorite fighters are Link, Cloud, and Little Mac.
Neeeext up is Solomon (or Solo, as we call him): Solo is a 16-year-old giraffe. Like I mean it, he’s fricking huge. He has to bend down to get through my doorway. I think he’s somewhere past 6”5, I believe? I don’t even know man. I do know that the best thing is when he comes by to visit after being gone a long while, he always picks me up. Being 5”2 and suddenly being hoisted way past your own height is great. Solomon is energetic, loud, funny, and a little immature. I know for a fact that he’s autistic, as his mother has randomly mentioned it to me (she was lamenting that it was hard for him to have friends his age, since he tends to be less mature than them). Solo doesn’t come around much, as he’s often living with his dad, and it seems he’s lost a lot of interest in smash. He’s tried to get me to buy Pokken Tournament, but like, I played it and it’s pretty meh? It’s okay, I just like Smash better (probably cuz I already put in the work for that one and I’m pretty good at it. I ain’t wanna start at ground zero again). I worry that if I buy it the other kids won’t play it with me as much (though they are children, if we’re being honest: if you build it, they will come, if I buy it, they will play lol). Solo I know for a fact hates Undertale, though he hasn’t played it for himself. It’s just the Undertale explosion he hates I figure, so sad, cuz it really is a great game that should be at least tried out once. He did surprise me by spotting my Journey game was like “muthafucker that game is beautiful.” XD So he’s got a short attention span and is pretty immature, but loves Journey. It’s fantastic honestly. Solo was actually the person who inspired me and Trell to get really good at the game, cuz we were on top until Solo came along and we realized “wait we actually have no idea how the FAKC to play this game.” I can proudly say I am now smash queen and Trell and Solo are about par with each other. Solo’s favorite characters are Little Mac and Samus (but mostly Little Mac).
Next is Charni (Shar-nay), who I love and call her my Protégé. I think she’s around Young’s age, maybe a couple months older. I first met her when I was at Solomon’s house (another kid I’ll bring up in a sec). She’s his little cousin, I believe, and she was kinda shy and bored. I plopped down next to her and started showing her how to play Smash so she could play with us. She had quite the steep learning curve since none of the other kids would go easy on her for being new, but I made sure to praise her when she got a good hit, and show her what to do so she wouldn’t get discouraged. I’m proud to say she quickly adored smash and is a regular part of our game weekends when she’s in town :D She’s at about an equal level with Young (not surprising, since they’re the same age), though she tends to play a bit smarter than he does and is less predictable.
I made it my mission to try and make sure she ended up liking nerd things, and I’m happy to say it ended up that she did XD She’s reading some Legend of Zelda manga last time I saw her, and she knows a little about Undertale from some fan things, though she’s never actually played the game? I tried to get her to play it, but she got bored, so meh. She likes Steven Universe and Gravity Falls too! I let her wear my Dipper hat whenever she sees it. Sometimes I’ll come home from work or school and she’ll just be there, chillin’ with my mom and watching an old black and white movie. I’ll usually have to put my foot down like “hell naw it’s a weekday I ain’t dealing with you snots come back Friday.” It’s pretty obvious she looks up to me a lot, and gets really happy when I praise her. Sometimes the boys pick on her (like saying she’s fat in a derogatory manor or saying she sucks at the game. She’s not fantastic at Smash obviously, she’s still just a kid, but she’s certainly not as bad as they make her seem. And she’s not fat at all really? She’s not basically bones like I am, but she doesn’t look like she has serious weight on her? She’s like, 120lb or something and quite a few inches taller than me. Not ThaT theRE’S a pROoBlem if shE WaSS, just she’s really not fat, and I don’t like the other kids to be using the word fat in a derogatory manner. Body shaming is not okay in my house).
I love her hair to, it’s fantastic. I believe she’s black and Hawaiian, and my god that Polynesian wavy hair is so fantastic I wish it was mine. I’ve gotten her to play Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey, and Phantom Hourglass (not that it took much convincing, lol), and she’s pretty good at them honestly! :D Sometimes she doesn’t want to play games though and she’ll just plop next to me while I’m on my computer and read funny Tumblr posts or webcomics with me, she’s adorbs. She’s a tough cookie, and she can get salty about Smash sometimes, but she’s usually a pretty good sport. Sometimes when it’s just us practicing, she’ll tell me to go at her 100%, and then quickly start yelling for me to stop when I do XD. For my birthday she made like, typography of Link’s name and colored it. So sweet. Her favorite fighters are Corrin, Dark Pit, and recently her brawler Mii that she made.
Next up is my favorite child (but don’t tell the others) Latrell (or just Trell): Trell’s a fantastic kid honestly. I think he’s like, 13/14 or so? I always say he’s 12 though, just cuz it ticks him off. Trell is easily my biggest rival in smash, as we’re just about at the same level (though I’m still reigning champ). He tells me that I’m a sore winner (I mean, I celebrate when I win, but it’s not like I jump up and dance and sing about what a loser everyone is. So that’s the salt talking ;3), but then he’s actually a sore winner/loser. If he loses enough time he’ll start trying to slap me or get pouty enough to need a break, and if he wins (or god forbid starts winning a few times in a row), he’ll start rubbing it in my face. And when I lose I tend to laugh and be like ‘dangnabit that suck, next time I got this’, but obviously losing starts to suck when some little twerp starts acting like he’s hot shit cuz he won the last 4 rounds and cuts you off with proclamations about what a loser you are – like, not even in a joking way either XD At some point I had to stop playing against him one day cuz he was getting really mean about me winning. Like, tone it down child we’re all friends here.
Most of the time he’s a great kid, though like most children he’ll have his moments. He likes to help me cook and bake and likes to sing. One of my favorite things is that I think he sort of came out to me last month or so, but in like the lamest way possible. Keeping in mind I knew he wasn’t straight (I figured he was either gay or bisexual, but I wasn’t sure), waaaaaaay long time ago. Like, I think before he knew kind of a thing? There were obvious stereotypical signs, but I don’t really like to assume, so I figured until I had confirmation that he did like boys or girls or both, I’d just use gender-neutral terms and stuff. He likes a lot of musicals, celebrity gossip, RuPal’s Drag Race, y’know the totally-not-stereotypical interests of gay culture – it’s really a miracle I picked up on it at all it was so subtle. He’d also made mention to several boys being cute, or that a few of his male classmates had a crush on him (or vice versa), so I knew he was interested in boys at least. Girls were yet to be seen (though I knew he’d had a girlfriend or something in the past, but I didn’t know if it was because he was interested in both, or if it was a ‘I didn’t know I was interested in boys, so I had a girlfriend’, kind of thing).
There was this one conversation that I still look back on and laugh. He was talking about his crush, and that he was worried about them cuz they were getting wisdom teeth pulled out and (since I work part time at an oral surgeon’s place), I just said “wisdom teeth? Oh he’ll be fine calm down.”
And he looks at me all mock-offended and goes “Did you just assume my crush’s gender??”
“That depends – was I right?”
“Listen that’s not the point here”
Anyways I official learned he was bisexual when he made me watch a movie called GBF (Gay Best Friend, which, I don’t know if this movie is revolutionary in the gay community or anything, but I’m sorry it’s an awful fucking movie. This kid gets forcefully outed by some app, and then the popular girls were all clamoring to get him to be their best friend, because a gay best friend was the hot new commodity they just had to have like he’s a new fricking purse for them to customize so they could win their petty popular girl war. And then there was like, a prom war/prom sabotage thing? Either way it’s a dumb-ass movie. Also waaaaaay too inappropriate for this 13/14 year old to have watched? Like, in one scene a Mormon dude in it was being all bi-curious and 100% starts trying to rub off our Main Character in a truck, and another scene of one of the popular girls is like dry humping one of the dude characters in a bed and like omg I wasn’t expecting it to get that inappropriate + my mom walked in right at the truck scene and I died inside. Like you are too young for this go watch some Duck Tales fool what are you doing).
Anyways, at the end of the movie he just goes “guess I already got you you’re GBF, haha lloloeeleolol :D ;D XDDD.”
And I just gave him this fed-up look like “did you just come out to me with the worst movie I’ve ever seen??? Even though I clearly already knew?????”
“Yes. Also it’s actually BBF.”
And I was just like “Trell you’re hilarious and everything, but if you ever show me a movie as bad as GBF ever again I will punch you in the throat.” And then I shoved him off the couch.
Since the GBF movie I swear he’s been making 10x more LBGT jokes. We have a tube of muscle relaxer or whatever called Bengay, and anytime he happens to see it he’ll pick it up and loudly announce “heh, yeah, I’ve been-gay before lelel” which usually ends up with my snatching the Bengay and launching it across the room.
And he’s like, 14, so I wouldn’t be surprised if his sexuality changed at all in the future, but for now at least he’s stated he’s bisexual. Either way, he’s the sweetest and funniest kid, and I do my best to know he’s more than accepted in my home.
Anyways, Trell is absolute incapable of playing single player games. I tried to get him to play Mario Odyssey and he got as far as pressing the jump button before he melted off the couch and complained that it was torture. He loves to challenge me to Pikmin, but won’t play the single player campaign (I got him to play like, halfway through the first level and that’s it). His favorite characters in smash are aaaaaall of them. He’s more of an all-arounder for the characters, and sometimes he’ll switch and have a new main for a while. Sometimes he’ll get butthurt about being beaten by Pikachu and Toon Link, cuz he says they were his mains first and he only stopped cuz I used them (which for some reason all the kids feel like they need to ask me to use Pikachu or Toon Link, and I have NO IDEA why. Like the fuck use whoever you want it’s a fricken game I don’t own them). The characters he goes back to most though are: Peach, Zero Suit Samus, and Villager (usually the girl skins).
And while he’s not child, why don’t I bring up the older bro Tay: Tay is really bad at smash but he keeps on trying and I’m proud of him XD His favorite characters are Samus and Ganondorf.
Aaaaand that’s all I wanted to say bye
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King Sunny Corleone &fat trell #famboyentrollup #famboyent #gwiseclothingllc #debonairdelpino #dmvsneakerheads #dmvartist
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Thank you @fatmanscafe9 for hosting us and for making amazing brunch for us❤ Had lovely time there. Have you guys tried out Fat Man's Cafe Sunday Brunch ?😍 #musttry #trelling
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