#fast forward to less than a week ago when my sister and I went shopping it happened again

[illumiiiz]

God dammit I knew I was having starter issues w my car but I didn’t think they would happen at an INCONVENIENT TIME

[silverfoxstole]

OK. Right. I've sorted my panel photos, which I'll start posting tomorrow (I won't bombard you with them all at once!), so I can get my thoughts straight about yesterday. This is going to be long; sorry! I'll divide it into two parts so that those who want to skip my wittering and just see the pics can.

I hadn't actually thought I'd ever go to a con again; my last one had been back in 2009 and they've got a hell of a lot bigger since then, which sort of puts me off as I don’t really like crowds, and living as I do right down on the south coast they're usually too far away. However, when back at the end of January an ad popped up out of the blue on my Facebook feed informing me that Paul would be appearing at Portsmouth Comic Con (less than ten miles from me) my heart skipped a beat and I started wondering whether I'd be able to go. Of course, there was nothing stopping me but I wasn't keen to go on my own, and I knew my DW-and-anything-else-related-to-scifi-fantasy-etc-hating sister would never agree.

When not long later I saw Sylvester was going to be there as well I mentioned it to my friend P (with whom I’ve attended cons in the past), lamenting that I had no one to go with and not really expecting her to suggest that she try to come down from Manchester so we could go together but to my surprise she did and so the tickets were duly booked. Fast forward to about three weeks ago, unfortunately, and things started to go - literally in this case - off the rails thanks to a driver's strike and then engineering work that meant no trains into Portsmouth for the 11th and 12th and P very reluctantly having to drop out because she wouldn't be able to get down here and back in time for work on Monday. Still wanting to go but not really wanting to do it alone I had no choice but to ask sis to come with me, which she very gamely did and I owe her. Big Time. It’s really not her thing and I know she didn't enjoy it at all. She works in town and made me stand on the outside in the queue in case she saw anyone she knew!

I had been worried about how I was going to react as I do suffer from anxiety and I've not been amongst crowds since before Covid, but much to my surprise I was completely relaxed, even when talking to the guests; I'm obviously long past my 'OMG it's Paul!' phase (thank goodness!) and instead it was a case of 'Oh, yeah, there he is, and Sylv and Sophie (a later addition, and one I'd been hoping for) too.' I don't know whether it's because they're so familiar or I just got used to actors popping in when I worked in a shop near a theatre, but it was easy and I'm so glad! The reflexology session I had in Thursday might have helped keep me calm, too; if you’re feeling tense I recommend it!

I had only previously visited the Guildhall for concerts (sis knows it better as she's had to do presentations to the city council in the past) so it was rather odd to be in there during the day. I have to say that I think they could have put aside more room for the guests as it was difficult to work out who was queuing to see who (ho ho). It was very warm and the setup also made taking photos a bit awkward with people having to dance round each other a bit. We went to see Paul first (of course), and when he clocked me in my NotD cosplay he leaned back, smiled and announced 'It's like lookin' in a mirror!' I honestly can't remember exactly what I said in response to that! Probably nothing that coherent! He asked if I'd made it myself, which gave me a neat opportunity to present the gift I'd made for him: an Eighth Doctor bear and Mr Bush bear.

I think i've wanted to make bears for Paul ever since I put together the first one nearly three years ago, but I never thought I'd get a chance so when I knew I'd be going to the con I started planning. I was originally just going to do the Doctor, and make a Seven bear for Sylvester, but as they were coming to Portsmouth I decided to do Bush as well since I can’t imagine Paul gets a lot of Hornblower-related gifts. Of course, when it was confirmed that Sophie would be there I had to make an Ace bear too and here they all are before I packed them up yesterday morning, sitting on the bags i'd also run up to put them in (not pictured, my terrible embroidery name tags to help me tell who was who):

I'll do some more detailed posts so you can see them properly another day, but I was so pleased with they way they turned out that it was really hard to give them up! At least I knew they'd be going to good homes!

When I gave Paul the bag he just looked at me in surprise and went 'Is that for me? Can I open it now?' and there was a smile on his face as soon as he saw what was inside. 'That's my career! Doctor Who and Hornblower!' He absolutely loved them, couldn't believe I'd made them and told me 'I have a room where I keep all the gifts I've been given, and these are going to take pride of place.' I couldn't wish for more than that! Well, maybe a photo of him with them but it was busy and I didn't like to ask and possibly hold things up. I hope he's found the alternative Dark Eyes outfit that I added for Eight bear as I had some fabric leftover from my jacket; the sonic for that one took a bit of ingenuity!

He asked about my costume again while we were getting into position (for want of a better term) for a photo and commented that so many people are paying someone to make their cosplays now and spending a hundreds of pounds, something I'd guess he finds quite astonishing given the incredulous look on his face when he said it. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that he likes to see what different fans have come up with; there are a lot of people who seem to be patronising Steven Ricks since Paul got his remade costume last year, which I can understand because the man is a brilliant tailor, but sometimes it must be a bit like seeing clones.

Jen took the photo and we were about to leave it there but then this strangely confident person I found inside me asked Paul a question:

‘Can I be cheeky?’

‘Sure.’

‘Can I give you a hug?’

‘Of course!’

Well, if you don’t ask, you don’t get! (says the woman who hates asking for things in shops) He gives very good hugs. 🥰

I did manage to let him go (it wasn’t easy!) and he thanked me again for the bears before we moved on to see Sophie, which involved going round to join another queue in the same small space. Confusing? Yep!

I don't know who here has met Sophie Aldred but you should because she is so, so lovely. Ace has always been one of my favourite companions and I was so pleased when I saw she would be coming. I'd already started an Ace bear with the intention of giving it to Sylvester with his, but of course that got changed and Sophie was smitten. She looked really closely at it, remarking on the little details - 'Oh, it's even got the plait. And a rucksack and baseball bat!' - and sat it proudly on the corner of her table, where I assume it stayed for some of the day. Apparently it's the best Ace bear she's ever seen - you can't get a better accolade than that! (My head was swelling somewhat by this point, by the way. I don't like to blow my own trumpet but I don't often get so many compliments, and never in such a short space of time, so i hope you can forgive me for including them.)

Last but not least, of course, there was Sylvester, which meant another queue in the same space, which was just daft as because their tables were next to each other you didn't know whether people were waiting for him or for Paul. I'm sure that could have been organised much better than it was. In the same section there were also two chaps who had somethng to do with Star Wars who weren't getting much attention at all which was a bit awkward. They haven't gone back today and I can't blame really them.

I've wanted to meet Sylv for years and he didn’t disappoint. He liked the fabric the bag was made from because its starry night pattern was similar to his waistcoat, which admittedly was why i bought it in the first place. When he got it open and saw what was inside he said 'Oh! I'm a little bear! That’s lovely!’ and when I said I'd made one for Sophie too leaned round trying to see it on Sophie's table. I half wish I'd made a set of both for each of them now but that might have been overkill, and I would have needed a rucksack of my own to transport them all; my bag was full to bursting as it was. Maybe if I see them again I’ll give Sophie a Doctor bear and Sylvester an Ace. As it stands I am so, so pleased that all three of them liked something I'd made so much, and Sylvester and Sophie were both also taken with the cartoons of the Seventh Doctor and Ace that I asked them to sign.

Phew! If you've reached the end of this, well done! I know I have tendency to ramble on and I commend your stamina! I'll put the photos in a separate post but I was one happy camper, especially as just afterwards i got another compliment on my costume and was asked to pose in the TARDIS! We didn't stay the whole day as it was hot, I'd pretty much seen what I wanted to (the Doctor Who 'exhibition' was just a few monster replicas, most of which weren't that good, unlike the really impressive experience they had last year for the 60th and which I would have loved to see. And there were no daleks! My ambition to hug a dalek sadly remains unfulfilled *sniff*) sis had developed a headache, but I'm very glad I went. 😀

[poison--ivory]

Haikyuu! Virus AU (Random/Reader) Part 1

“I don’t fear the dark itself, but what may lurk within it.”

Warning: Blood, Gore, Character deaths and trauma

Part 2: link

Yamaguchi loathed the inky room of which he sat in. The only source of light that gave him some comfort was the natural light of the moon. Since the power in the city was out you could hear the wind blowing or the soft barking of dogs. He could barely make out the outline of team Nekoma’s manager, Y/n Shibayama. She was already knocked out as soon as her head hit the makeshift pillow. While he was wide awake, and sort of jealous that she could just sleep like everything was fine. He can’t stay mad at her for too long since her school lost their middle blocker, So Inuoka. Their team captain hasn’t been the same since. Not even a couple hours ago they too had lost another member of their group. 

Ennoshita screams still wrecked his mind and the smell of rotting flesh was forever inscribed in his nose. It really should have been him who went in that trench by himself. He was the one to point out the food truck and even made a small plan to gather the canned goods. Ennoshita and him had a little dispute on who would go and by the time he turned his head to give his side to Daichi, Ennoshita was already marching down the steep hill. A couple of seconds of arguing, before he heard the sharp screech, loud enough to pierce his ear drums. The next thing he knew, Suga and Yaku were rushing down the hill to try and save him. They stopped half way before running back, a herd surrounded Ennoshita in under a minute leaving little to no gaps for escape or retrieval. 

He knew deep down that it was his fault even if the others told him that there was nothing that could have been done. Yamaguchi knew that if he kept his mouth shut Ennoshita would still be alive, yelling at his second year teammates and patting us first years on the head. He tried everything to get his mind off the details, the screams and the stench. Yamaguchi’s mind even makes up certain info to scar his psyche.

Ennoshita wasn’t the only causality. At the very beginning of the outbreak, which to him felt like years, but in reality it was really a few weeks. Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, Ubugawa and Shinzen planned a last get together for the graduating third years. They all met at the training camp to play volleyball, visit Tokyo and to gain a few memories before they graduate. Really sunny that, but it wasn’t as hot, mostly a comfortable warmth that hugged his whole stature. 

When it started the Yamaguchi and some of the other first years were gallery gazing at the various window shops. Yuki Shibayama was buying a couple sticks of dango for his sister, Tsukishima made a small remark of him being a real sister boy. Haiba at the time seemed to be annoying a very displeased Teshiro. A small and weak yell was heard, however it was quickly brushed off due to the large crowd. Yamaguchi stopped at a food stall that sold fries, even though they weren’t soft as he wanted them, they still tasted pretty good. Hinata and Kageyama were arguing about something. Yachi stood in the middle to make them stop their yelling since they started to draw a small crowd. Another scream echoed this time a bit more heavier. The noise left his heart beating a bit faster; it sounded kind of. . . primal. Before he could react another yell followed by a wave of screeching rang throughout the air. The howling caused even the duo to shut up for once. 

He froze in place as a girl who looked no older than thirteen, a middle schooler was pinned down a lady. Her shrieks sent shivers down his spine, her dog bit the neck of the lady who fell off to the side trampled by oncoming people. The dog licking the girl’s cheek in a loving manner didn’t sense the sudden change in his owner. Her small frame was on him in a second tearing fur and flesh off his yelps and whine would fall on death ears. He managed to escape, but the large chunk left a noticeable hole in his side. Yamaguchi felt useless in that moment, his feet glued to the very dry cement he stood on. He turned to stare at Tsuki who was too engaged in his phone to notice what was transpiring around him. Yamaguchi's hand reached out for his friend, however in a split second Tsukishima was yanked from behind by a man, who looked extremely ill. Everything played in slow motion as the man bit Tsukishima on the neck and in complete shock elbowed the man square in the face. Clenching at the wound to dull the jarring pain.

Blood flowed down his neck and coated his white shirt, his headphones ripped off his ears hitting the pavement with a harsh smack. Yamaguchi remembered running to aid his best friend, dropping the fries in the process, his mind running faster than his legs and before he could even inch forward the same man and a woman gripped Tsukishima and tore his skin from his flesh. His gut wrenching screams through terror into his heart. Witnessing his childhood friend being eaten alive was a pill he tried swallowing, but soon regurgitated it back up. Throw up ran down his chin as Kageyama shoved him forward making him trip on ground beneath him. Yamaguchi noticed Hinata yelling at a very dumbfound Yachi, she stood there frozen, shaking and stunned by the madness happening around her. Everyone knew she was a very anxious and scared teenage girl, even suppressing a scream when she met the captain from Ubugawa again. 

Hinata’s pleading fell on deaf ears as Yachi stared off into the chaos, her mouth slightly shifting like she was mumbling under her breath. He shouted at her as well, but Kageyama pulled him again, cutting him off half way. Yachi was lifted from her stupor the moment someone else bumped into her. She ran off so fast in the crowd shrieking before even Hinata couldn’t grab her and before he could run off to catch up with her Kageyama snatched him up from the back of his shirt. They sprinted through the thick crowd and with luck on their side made it back to the camp and collapsed on the grass from exhaustion. He took notice of the other first years slowly arriving, a dazed Inuoka clutched at his side. Haiba guided him down to the ground and ran inside. Tears fell on the back of his hands and they streamed down his face like a water spout. He lost two of his friends in less than thirty minutes that day and it wrecked him.

It sounds so much like the beginning of a movie more than anything. Even the part of when we thought everything was okay Inuoka transformed into one of those sick creatures. He tore out the throat of Nekoma’s team coach. Coach Ukai with the help of Daichi and Kuroo shoved the reanimated Inuoka out. No one talked as we listened to the moans and screeches constantly banging at the locked doors. 

Yamaguchi snapped himself out of his depressing thoughts as a soft rustle startled him from the dark corner of the room. 

“Go to sleep. I can feel your depressing aura from here.” Konoha grumbled.

“S-sorry.” His face grew warm from embarrassment.

Konoha groaned as he sat gazing over at one of his teammates. Washio was still sound asleep as Konoha shifted out of his own makeshift bed. “Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah, my mind’s running faster than a rabbit right now.” Konoha nodded strutting across the room to my futon, sitting down on his rump and leaning on his head on his knee. “Sorry, that I woke you up.”

“Ya know it’s nearly morning, so don’t worry about it.” Yamaguchi just nodded. “Let’s just keep it down. I really don’t wanna hear Washio complain about us keeping him up.”

“Y-you don’t have to stay up with me. You don’t know when you can sleep peacefully again, ya know.”

“Nah, it’s fine already awake now and I don’t think I can force myself too either.” He gingerly smiled back at his senior. The two young men stayed up for the rest of the night mostly talking about anything that would keep their minds off their dead friends. They yammered on about family members and past friends that still lingered from childhood. Konoha mentioned his older brother and younger sister, but soon switched the topic. Yamaguchi talked about his mother, father and his grandmother who makes his fries extra floppy for him. The memories of sitting in his living room under the kotatsu with Tsuki. The air surrounding them would usually be scented with whatever his grandmother was cooking at the time. It really made him think about some of the embarrassing situations he was in with some family members. Now he kind of wants to wake up to that familiar smell of home cooked meals and laughter.

The conversations waived from school life, hobbies to old crushes. Yamaguchi had opened his mouth, but quickly closed it, he knew it was only a crush. But, knowing that the girl he liked was presumably dead made him suffer a wave of guilt. Konoha on the other hand was shyly gazing behind himself. 

“You know, I kind of have or may have developed a small crush on their manager. During my first year, we met Nekoma for the first time. Her cheeks were so plump that they bounce when you pinch them.” His facial expression stayed the same, however his cheeks were heavily flushed. “She probably doesn’t like me in that way, and that’s fine. I just don’t want it to be weird.”

“I heard that confessing can make you feel better. Maybe, I don’t really have that much experience in this or any experience for the matter.” Yamaguchi shrugged.

Konoha tore his gaze from the small frame hidden under the thin covers. “Maybe, but when shit settles down I’ll do it. Right now, seems like a very bad time.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s the better option.”

Konoha glanced around the room, seeing that the room was being illuminated by the morning sun. “Guess we’ve been talking for a while now.” Stretching, the sound of joints cracking invaded their ears, “So, wanna come with me on morning prep?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

 So, the day starts over. The endless cycle that now fills Yamaguchi’s life starts anew.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out 

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\   XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading. 

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now. 

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do. 

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week? 

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope. 

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae. 

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign. 

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit. 

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?” 

“Definitely, let’s go.” 

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations. 

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.” 

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.” 

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.” 

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.” 

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”  

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.” 

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.” 

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde. 

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.” 

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.” 

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.” 

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts. 

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.” 

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process. 

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies. 

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.” 

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.” 

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.” 

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles. 

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits. 

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned. 

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date. 

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified. 

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own. 

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s. 

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.” 

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding. 

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.” 

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long. 

[mcdreamypookie]

||Pure Meets Evil|| Jaehyun Fanfic Chapter 1:

Word count: 4,003

Pages: 9

Summary of chapter: Yerin is being followed by someone who Jaehyun, her best friend, is acquainted to and takes action, but will he be able it stop him?

I always felt as if someone was constantly watching me. I felt it in the back of my head whenever I walked down the empty, dark streets at night. I felt in the air while silence filled my ears, as I stood at an isolated corridor at school. I felt it every time I laid in bed and tried to go to sleep, but there was never anything. In my thoughts, everything was in my head and that I was just going crazy.

There I was, like most nights, laying in my bed in silence as my eyes glanced at the dark ceiling above me. The very bit of light from the full moon shined through my curtains, lighting up the room in just the right places. Like my closet, which I never tend to leave open, but I must have forgotten tonight. I was never a huge believer of ghosts or any type of creature that would scream danger, but a part of that would always stick in the back of my mind. Gently, I pushed myself up to a sitting position, my hands holding me up as I scanned my room. I felt it again. The company of something, or someone. I sighed in frustration as I pulled the covers away from me and slid off my bed without hesitation. It was time to get out again. I put on my casual black hoodie that was sitting on top of my chair beside my desk. I made no effort to even change out of my pajamas. I would come back either way, lay back down and fall into a deep sleep.

Quietly, I opened my window, got out, slowly closed it and scurried off into the mysterious streets that awaited me to walk on. It had been two weeks continuously not having the best of sleep as I deeply wished, but something called for me to be out there. The streets were lightly damped from the storm that had occurred a few hours ago, and it had finally calmed down. I cursed at myself as I realized I didn’t choose the proper shoes for this type of weather. My favorite navy blue converse were now getting soaking wet and dirty from all the mud I had been stepping on to get out of my house. I sighed in defeat trying to relax myself as I walked down the familiar streets that I have known my whole life. I knew every inch of every corner, every store, and even the people. I know the best coffee shop in town, sadly it wasn’t opened during this time. A loud church bell was heard from afar indicating it was already midnight, but it wasn't time to go back just yet. 

I roamed around downtown and peacefully looked around the place where usually there was a horde of people walking up and down the streets. Not even cars would pass around this time, which made it look a bit sketchy, but that's just how it was in towns like this. Just a few steps before passing my favorite coffee shop, I heard something. There were footsteps, but I wasn’t sure if they were mine. I stopped and stood there for a while to see if I was hearing correctly. I turn my head to look behind me, all my eyes met were the empty streets just as they were before. I fluttered my eyes in confusion, lightly scoffing at myself as I continued my path. I was definitely hearing things now. I might have spoken too soon, because I could now clearly hear the mix matched sound of footsteps that soon synchronized with mine. I quickly turned around as my eyes widened, and my heart rate fastened. Nothing was there.

“Hello?” what a fool of me to speak out at a time like this. This was something you should never do whenever you feel someone is following you. Number one rule whenever I watched a horror movie, what a lesson it was to me huh?

Facing forward once again, a black figure roughly clashed onto my shoulder with immense force making me fall onto the ground. It all happened so fast, and the person came out of nowhere. I couldn’t distinguish any features. I turned around to find the person was now out of sight, and I laid on the floor trying to help myself breathe.

“Yerin, are you okay?” a familiar voice was heard. I snapped my head in front of me again and saw my best friend Jaehyun in front of me clutching onto a brown bag with both arms, a worried expression on his face. I slowly got up and looked behind me again to see if the rude person who decided to bump into me was still there, but no luck.

“Yeah,” I panted out as I tried to make sense of the situation. However, I was curious as to why Jaehyun was out this late.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I wiped whatever dirt was on my now soaked pajamas.

“I went to the grocery store to get a few things my mom needed, but I stopped by a friend's house on the way and I got a bit too comfortable.” He explained as he scanned my body for any injuries.

“Are you okay?” he added.

“I’m fine, I just need to go home now,” I was too mortified to continue walking, but luckily Jaehyun offered to walk me home since my house was on the way to his.

“You seem a little too comfortable walking down these streets at night..” Jaehyun broke the silence that filled the air as they walked down their main street. I couldn't help but smile at how observant he was when it came to people and certain things. He probably already knew I had been leaving my house at night to take these walks. Jaehyun was very smart, kind and generous. He always thought about everyone else before himself, which was why he was such a great friend, but it was me he should be less worried about.

“I guess I am,” I quickly replied sticking my hands into my pocket.

“It’s dangerous you know? Especially with what just happened you should consider,” he looked over to me, as I looked at him as well. His dark brown hair softly framed his well structured jawline, a few strands of hair covering his forehead giving him an innocent look. Did I forget to mention that my best friend was handsome? I wasn’t sure if he knew it, but everyone in school certainly did and that would never go unnoticed. Girls from all different years asked for me to talk to him for them, or try and convince me to get them his number.

“Don’t worry I won’t,''I said as he gave me a soft smile.

“By the way, I got a call from a random girl today, and she said something along the lines of ‘your friend gave me your number’. Do you have any idea who that might be?” he raised an eyebrow as he side eyed me.

Well that little shit. I had specifically told her not to say anything. “Nope,” I simply answered. He squinted his eyes and kept his gaze set on me as I tried not to make eye contact.

“It was probably Lucas, he seems the type to give a random girl their friends number if they ask for it,”.

“Lucas may be...special sometimes, but I think I know exactly who would do it,” he smiled as he kept on going. He knew it was me, but he always loved to tease people.

“Not me for sure, maybe your friends,” I once again defended myself.

“Brothers,” he corrected me. Of course he would think of them as brothers. He's known them his whole life.

“Just like how I consider you a sister,” he added. Well, that stung a little. I was glad he cared about me enough to consider me family, but it strangely made me feel weird inside. He suddenly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. 

I grab his hand throw it off me and spaced myself from him. “What? Are you getting all soft on me now?” I joked, as he lightly nudge me on my arm letting out a chuckle. We continued to walk on the sidewalk as we reminisced on some memories we had since we met. Walking with him made me forget all about what happened just a few minutes ago. It was more comforting to walk with someone else, rather than by yourself. Especially at night.

“Remember last year’s winter you and I sneaked out at night to go to that park near the school just to have a snowball fight? You slipped on ice and your face landed on the snow.” he struggled to finish the last few words as he almost burst out laughing.

“Yeah, that was not funny and fun at all. That snow was hard that it actually gave me a scratch on my nose,” In all honesty, looking back at it was pretty funny, but I had to much pride at the moment to even laugh along with him. 

“Is it okay now?” he asked as he lightly touched my nose with the tip of his finger, a smile forming on my lips.

“Well, do you remember the time you tried to jump over a bunch of chairs and ended up hitting your little shrimp?” I fought back a smirk tugging on my lips.

“Woah, hold on. How would you even know if it’s little?” he questioned as he gave me a mischievous smirk, and all I could do was blush like an idiot. That was a great comeback, and I had nothing to retort back. He laughed at my state and I couldn't help but laugh along this time. We are so comfortable with each other, it's starting to make me believe that's one of the reasons we are best friends. We knew how to joke around with each other, and talk about even the weirdest parts of being a human. It was all natural with him. I didn't realize I had been staring at him for a while until he mentioned it.

“What am I took handsome? Are you finally realizing it?” he joked as he came to a halt all of a sudden. I looked at him in confusion, but then realized we were already outside my house.

“Oh, I'm home,” I came out of my daze.

“Yeah, You were pretty distracted by my intriguing face,” he bounced his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes at how conceited he was being at the moment. It was all part of his act to be funny of course.

“See you tomorrow loser,” he lightly pushed me towards the door, as he continued walking.

“Yeah I don't know if you will,” I joked.. I turned away from him and began walking to my window. I cracked it open and entered my room, once again I was met by the darkness. The moon that once lit up inside had subsided, but at least now I felt at ease.

I kept my eyes on her. I had to make sure she would get home safely. If I hadn’t been there, he would have. 

~

Waking up always gave me the realization that staying up late was a horrible idea, but I always seemed to do it anyways. I looked over to the alarm clock with my eyes half open due to the puffiness. 6:34am. I usually never woke around this time, but I knew that if I didn’t awake at this very moment I might not wake up at all. Lifting the covers away from my body I sit on the edge of my bed and dangle my feet. After a few seconds I stood up and walked over to my closet and picked out an outfit for the day. I was never really fancy with my clothes, I usually had a casual style. Whatever was comfortable I would wear. I picked out a black, long sleeve turtleneck, along with some skinny jeans and my second favorite vanilla colored vans. This was casual for me.

After fixing my hair and my face I headed downstairs to find that my parents were already gone for work. I always checked the table to see if they left a little sticky note for me to read. They always did. 

We will be home a little late this evening we have dinner to be with a few important people. Don’t go to sleep too late. 

-Mom and Dad

I crumbled the little note in my hand and threw it on the ground. They always had these important dinners and I always stayed at home alone, with a cup of ramen usually. Heading out of my house, I saw Jaehyun slowly arriving at my door and gave me a small wave. I smiled and began to walk towards him.

“Well, look who shows their face after all,” he brought up the conversation from last night.

“I changed my mind,” I replied nonchalantly as we began our walk to school. 

“I figured I'd have to see you at school so might as well get over my fear once and for all,” I joked.

“Where's Lucas?” I asked looking around. Lucas usually tagged along with Jaehyun when walking to school in the morning. It would only make sense since they lived a few houses away from each other.

“I don't know. He’s probably having trouble trying to work the coffee machine. Trust me, he really does not know how to use it,” he emphasized on the last sentence. I hummed in response.

“Hey, whats up guys?” a raven haired boy came out of nowhere and stood next to Jaehyun.

“Taeyong, hey I see you finally fixed your hair,” I ruffled his locks around as he tried to keep my hands away from his precious, gorgeous hair. The previous days he tried to dye his hair to a very unrealistic color and he thought he could do it himself. In the end, it looked as if a blind lady tried to fry his hair with a flamethrower.

“For your information It wasn't as bad as it looked, and when exactly will you fix yours?” He jokingly spat, Jaehyun bursting out in laughter. I rolled my eyes in pretend annoyance. 

“Where’s Johnny?” I asked trying to change the subject, but honestly I already knew where Johnny was. He was probably curled up in his warm bed still sleeping like there is no tomorrow. How jealous I am of him at this very moment.

“You know him, sleeping. I called him this morning and when he answered he told me to ‘fuck off’,” Taeyong explained as he shoved his small hands into his pocket. I couldn’t help but notice whatever he was wearing was working wonders for him. He looked slimmer with that plain white buttoned up shirt, and those regular black jeans that elongated his legs. Even though he was a complete ass at times, he was a handsome guy and occasionally sweet, surprisingly. In fact, all of Jaehyun’s friends were somehow handsome and it amazed me how I was always surrounded by all these handsome boys.

Arriving to school you three were greeted by the rest of your friends which consisted of Athena, Mark,Yuta, and Ten. They all circled around each other laughing their asses off. Mark was doing some weird things that could have been the cause of the sudden outbursts of laughter.

“Yerin!” my other best friend Athena came towards me.

“Hello to you” I chuckle, as Athena seemed worried beside what was happening.

“I forgot to do the history homework please tell me you did it,” she seemed desperate in a funny way of course.

“My dog ate my homework,” I gave her a fake pout.

“Let’s go inside so I can copy it,” Athena innocently dragged me towards the entrance of the school. I looked back to look at Jaehyun who was staring back at me with a smile. I felt a tug inside me and this was happening more often whenever I was around him. I felt my cheeks heat up as soon as I turned to face forward.

“Are you blushing?” Athena didn’t leave it unnoticed. She turned around and tried to see who made me rose up all of a sudden, which made me jump into defensive mode. 

“Who is it?” she kept moving around trying to see just who it was that is until I lightly shook her a bit and made her face me.

“No one,”  I replied in an annoyed tone.

“Oh, I get it. It was Jaehyun wasn’t it?” She gave me one of her mischievous smirks.

“Look, I may not do my homework, but I'm not stupid. I just forget to do my homework. You've had a crush on him for a while and I know it,”.

I sighed, she was right. I did, but it was that type of crush I would and could never admit. I also knew that a crush was such an understatement, especially with what I was feeling for Jaehyun was totally different.

“Yeah, well you’re wrong. He is one of my best friends along with you. Does that mean you’re my crush as well?” I tried to steer this crush talk somewhere else as I dug my hand into my bag to find the homework she had asked for.

“Oh my god I hope not,” she made a face in disgust.

“Okay, and since we are pointing things out. It shouldn’t go unmentioned of how you have the slightest crush on question Mark,” I returned the mischievous look as I handed her my homework. Her mouth went agape as her cheeks turned a light pink and took the paper out of my hands in embarrassment.

“Better be done copying by lunch,” I said before I walked towards my first period class.

Throughout the whole day at school I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched every second. Something in the back of my head kept telling me to look at my surroundings, but I tried to ignore it. I waved it off as if it was just a normal thing that everyone experiences. 

       After school I met up with Jaehyun and we walked towards downtown, to our favorite coffee shop. We didn't stay there for too long since the shop was filling up with a tremendous amount of students. Leaving the shop, I couldn't help but notice how strangely Jaehyun was acting. He kept fiddling with his coffee cup, and kept a tight grip on his book bag as if someone was about to snatch it away. Then he would look around and behind him trying to seem discreet. I clear my throat and look towards him trying to seem indifferent.

“You're still coming over right?” I asked, but I got no response. He seemed to be distracted and occupied.

“Jaehyun?” he snapped his head towards me, his eyebrows rose and gave me his attention.

“Are you okay?”

He suddenly stopped walking. I stopped along with him and stood there waiting for his answer. 

“I'm sorry, I totally forgot that I had to meet up with a teacher for a makeup test and if I don't show up I'll fail.” he finally explained.

“So, I guess you won't be coming tonight?” I tried to give a small smile.

“No, I have things to take care of first,” he said feeling guilty for the change of plans.

“Okay, no worries. Good luck on the test,” I gave him a genuine smile and walked off.

~

I watched her walk away and I made sure she was out of sight before I made my next move. I walked the opposite way and headed back to the coffee shop we were just in. By the alley there he stood, leaning against the wall with his hands crossed over his chest. It didn't phase him to see me after all these years.

“I didn't think angels were capable of lying...” he pushed himself off the wall with his foot and slowly stepped forward.

“I suggest you leave.” Jaehyun warned, his tone becoming firm.

“Or what? Are you going to to flap me with your wings?” he chuckled, darkness omitting every inch of him.

“What are you doing here?”

The figure came out of the alley and light shed onto similar features. They surely looked very much alike. A smirk appeared on his small lips as he stared Jaehyun down.

“I came back to take what's mine” his voice had irritation and anger that had been built up for God knows how long.

“Back off, stop trying to take what's been claimed,” Jaehyun stepped forward warning the guy once again.

“You couldn't even hurt a fly, what makes you think you could touch me.” they kept towering over each other even though they were the same height. “Besides, whatever pain I receive you feel twice as much,”

Jaehyun could feel the anger that this man had, deep inside him. He knew that this guy could make him feel things that he couldn't feel before he came to earth. Maybe coming into a human form had its downsides, and this was one of them. The guy walked off and made sure to bump into Jaehyun’s shoulder for effect. 

He had to do something about him, but how could he when he was too weak to do so?

~~

The day turned into night quickly. The sky was already dark and it was barely 7 o'clock. I guess we all know what time of the year was here. I sat on the leather sofa as I dug my hand into the bowl of popcorn. I had been watching That 70's Show all day long since I got home from school. Grabbing another handful of popcorn I shoved it into my mouth. My doorbell suddenly rang through the empty home making me sit up in curiosity of who it could be. Jaehyun wasn't coming by since he had ‘important’ things to do. Gosh, he sounded like my parents.

 I place the bowl on the sofa, get up and go see just who it was at the door. 

“Who is it?” I call out to make sure it wasn't some stranger I was opening the door to. However, there was no response. I had to trust my gut that it wasn't someone so bad. I unlocked the doorknob and opened the door. Wow, what a surprise.

“So, you came after all?” I rolled my eyes at how silly he was. Something was different about him. I stared at him trying to figure out just what it was.

“Why are you dressed like that? Are you going emo on me now?” I asked as I leaned against the door, but he again didn't respond to my joke. He looked rather good the way he was dressed. Something different and edgy.

“Can I come in?” a smirk was spread on his lips, his tone deeper than usual. He didn't wait for me to respond, he simply came in and kept his onyx eyes fixed on me. Something was definitely off about Jaehyun right now.

I close the door as soon as he stepped in and turn to face him with a confused look on my face. “Am I missing something here? Why are you dressed like Johnny Depp are you going to a Halloween party or something? Because I hate to break it to you, it’s not Halloween yet”.

He turned to face me once again and in that very moment I felt my phone vibrate from my pocket. I slipped it out and checked to see I had a message from...Jaehyun?

Hey, I got done with the test early and came home to change. Can I still come by?

[s-hylor]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked Before

tagged by the amazing, adorable @bardingbeedle

tagging: @quandongcrumble @laglemon and anyone else who wants to do it.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I don’t use one anymore, cut my hair way too short for that, but I do have a couple of easy detangle hairbrushes because my hair was always so easy to knot when it was longer, and they both look like penguins. Hence why I bought them.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Depends on the time of year. I do feel the cold less than my dad, if that counts for anything. 

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Driving.

What is your favourite candy bar?

Cadbury Flake or Cherry Ripe. 

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Went to see the Adelaide Crows play back in 1996 I think it was. I can’t remember who they played. I am pretty sure they won though. 

What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Yes it is a big rabbit.” to my sister.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Coffee, or Rum & Raisin. Also Hot Cross Bun flavour, or Golden North’s Christmas Pudding Ice Cream. I just like ice cream. 

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Iced coffee. 

Do you like your wallet?

Yes. Very much. It’s Civil War Steve/Tony themed. 

What was the last thing you ate?

Ginger nut biscuit. It was meant to be for Jenny, but she was mean to me, so I ate her biscuit. 

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Last weekend, no. This weekend I ordered two hoodies from the Just A Story Podcast merch shop. I couldn’t decide which one I wanted. So I got both. 

The last sporting event you watched?

Probably a T20 Big Bash cricket match? Sometime last year. Because dad insists on watching them even though he doesn’t like that version of cricket. I have barely watched TV let alone sport since I moved back down to the farm. 

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

Anything that gives a sweet and salty combo. 

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

Group chat to my sister and her partner. 

Ever go camping?

Yes. A lot. I spent 6 weeks camping last year while travelling through the Northern Territory and Western Australia. I love camping. 

Do you take vitamins?

Barocca. So what ever vitamins are in that? I just like the flavour. 

Do you go to church every Sunday?

I only go to church if I am staying with people who go to church. Or when school forced me to. Or funerals. But they are rarely on sundays. 

Do you have a tan?

I have a “farmers’ tan”. 

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Both. Both is good. 

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

No. I do drink milkshakes with a straw though. 

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Black, black-ish, black with coloured toes and heels. Or white with coloured toes and heels if sports socks. 

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

Never intentionally. I have gone over the speed limit occasionally when I’m not paying attention. But never for long. If anything, I drive under the speed limit. There was a reason one of my co-workers at the mine site called me “driving Miss Daisy”.

What terrifies you?

Something bad happening to someone or something I care about. Pets dying. 

Look to your left, what do you see?

My sister’s cat, Polly, sitting on my sister’s lounge. Looking grumpy. 

What chore do you hate?

Most of them. That’s why they are called chores. I still do them, but I don’t like them. 

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

Normal everyday thing. 

What’s your favourite soda?

Pepsi Max. Or soda water. 

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Go in. Because I hate driving through drive throughs. They all seem way too narrow/tight for my vehicle. 

Who’s the last person you talked to?

My sister.

Favourite cut of beef?

Whatever cut gets turned into corned beef. I eat more corned beef than any other type of beef. I live on a sheep station/farm. Ask me about mutton. 

Last song you listened to?

Hyperfine by G Flip

Last book you read?

The Bodies of Men by Nigel Featherstone. 

It’s a WWII story, about Australian soldiers. It’s gay. Everyone should go read it. 

Favourite day of the week?

Tomorrow. Because I get to go back to work. I’ve missed the plants. 

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards. 

How do you like your coffee?

Black. 

Favourite pair of shoes?

Most worn and most frequently bought are Blundstone boots. Beauty of work boots. 

The time you normally go to sleep?

Between 9:30 and 11. 

The time you normally get up?

Now that I’m starting back at the plant nursery, 4:30. While I was stood down, and before that, around 6am. Unless I want to write, then around 2:30am. Depends.  

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

At the station, we get better sunsets, because the hills block the sunrise. At the farm, it’s in a valley, so the hills block both, so both are about equal. 

How many blankets on your bed?

Two. One duvet with an Avengers cover, and one red, black and white patchwork quilt my grandma made, inspired by the mining town she spent most of her adult life in. 

Describe your kitchen plates

Melamine, brownish, with flowery patterns. They’re just what is in the caravan. 

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

Don’t really have one. I barely drink. But I used to liked the ginger beer my Grandpa used to brew. It was potent. 

Do you play cards?

Cards Against Humanity. Unstable Unicorns. And several card games played with a normal deck of cards that i can’t remember the names of. 

What colour is your car?

Pearl white. It’s white, but sparkly.  

Can you change a tire?

Change it. Mend it. Put it back on again. Much better at motorbike tyres though, because I have more practise with those.  

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

Trainee at a plant nursery. So, the current one. That I get to start again tomorrow. 

How did you get your biggest scar?

A cow kicked a gate into my head. I now have a scar that runs from my hairline to my eyebrow on the left side of my forehead. Busted me open to the skull. Not that anyone would tell me that at the time. Doctor did a great job stitching it up though, so it isn’t as visible as you’d expect.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave the sheep stock lime and salt today. It’s like lollies for sheep. So I made 800 woolly someones happy today. 

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @hotaruyuki!

I hope you, and everybody else will enjoy this little thing.

Read on AO3

*****

Two Potted Pines and a Hole in the Wall

It’s movie worthy, definitely not something that should happen on an ordinary Tuesday shortly before December. And yet it happens at precisely seven minutes to ten on that very Tuesday morning, while Derek’s in the middle of decorating the two small trees his sister had brought from the nursery, the smell of baking bread and cooling cookies hanging mouth watering in the air.

For a few weeks workers had been in and out of the space next door, bringing with them the ruckus of power tools and people yelling to be heard above said tools. The noise had been annoying, grating on his nerves, but he’d taken comfort from the fact they usually didn’t start before seven or later and that they’d eventually be done, not to mention they’d been good for business. Soon they’d packed up their things and left at the end of one day not being there the next.

It hadn’t been deserted though; Derek had seen the back of someone going through the door, had heard what could be furniture being dragged across the floor and various other noises indicating there would probably be a shop next to Derek’s soon. But today’s been quiet, and like he’s done every year since Laura conned him into opening his little bakery, Derek - after the morning rush was over and Isaac had left for class - turned the sign on the door to ‘closed’ and got lost in the task of decorating.

A pounding sound pulls Derek from his thoughts, and once he’s focused on it he can’t ignore it. Lifting his head he is met by the expected sight of the beverage making machinery and the stacks of to-go-cups, the open floor space between that and the counter, the old fashioned looking till at one end and the pick-up station closest to where he currently is, with various syrups, stirrers, packaged sugar, sweetener and creamer and a million other things he doesn’t care about and the existence of which he’s outsourced to his manager, Erica, who knows about these things. (Derek bakes, everything else is Laura’s fault. Thankfully she also hired Erica without whom he’d be lost).

The sound is familiar but before Derek can make out what it might be it suddenly grows louder, morphs into something akin to smashing porcelain (not a single plate, but the entire cabinet) followed by a bemused “eum… oops,” raising questioningly at the end. Turning, the pretzel shaped ornament he was about to hang on the tree still dangling from between his fingers, Derek finally locates the source of the noise. In the wall Derek’s shop shares with the one next door - the wall Derek had thought was a solid concrete common wall - is a hole that might be big enough for him to wiggle through with a man standing on the other side, a hammer clutched in his still raised hand, a few nails sticking out between plush lips, eyes wide with surprised shock.

Everything is still and quiet, the two of them locked in a disbelieving staring contest - seems Derek wasn’t the only one thinking that had been solid wall - and then, like the snap of fingers, the world starts moving once more, the man wobbling, leaning a little too far forward and realizing he’s falling Derek’s knees straighten and his feet take him across the room just in time to put his hands on the man to keep him from toppling over and fall through the hole and injure himself, not caring for the faint sound of shattering glass.

This close Derek can see the faintest hint of stubble, a smattering of moles on pale skin and lang, dark eyelashes framing a pair of amber brown eyes. Beneath the palms of his hands the man’s stomach muscles twitch with his movement as he steadies himself, Derek only reluctantly loosening his grip when he’s certain the danger has passed.

“This was not how I imagined meeting my new neighbour,” the man’s voice is warm and deep, laced with the grin clear on his face; for some reason he doesn’t seem the least bit worried he nearly fell to his death moments ago (Derek might be a bit dramatic, it probably wouldn’t have been more than a few bruises and maybe a bend rib, which - while painful and not something to joke about - not immediately life threatening).

Taking a step down from where he’d apparently been standing on a footstool, he reaches out his hand. “I’m Stiles, thank you for saving me from myself.”

“Anytime,” he says, distracted by the fact that despite being an inch or two shorter, Stiles’ hand is quite a bit larger than his own and there are a few moles on the back of it matching the ones Derek has already noticed on his face.

Stiles laughs, genuine and delighted. “I’m gonna hold you to that, dude. I might’ve grown into my limbs but I still trip over thin air from time to time.”

“Don’t call me dude,” Derek says, extracting his hand from Stiles’ because he realizes they’ve been shaking for at least thirty seconds more than is usual. He also immediately has to suppress the urge to face palm as he remembers never actually introducing himself.

“Derek. My name’s Derek.” He sweeps out his hand, encompassing the room, “and this is ‘Hale’s Sweets’, finest bakery in the street.”

Stiles leans closer and sticks his head through the hole in the wall, takes his time looking around the shop. “Pleasure to meet you, Derek.” He hesitates for a moment, looks down to take in the damage before him. “Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee as a thank you for saving me, and figure out what to do with this?”

That’s how Erica finds them when she gets back a little before three to get ready for the afternoon reopening. Stiles is telling a story about the shenanigans he and his best friend, Scott, had gotten into in high school, whole body moving and arms flinging this way and that, Derek with his head thrown back in laughter; there are no decorations hanging from the ceiling or in the window, one tree is half way decorated while the other isn’t. She grins and backs up without making a sound, quickly scribbling a note and then sneaks out the back door. As soon as it closes behind her she shoots off a two word text; It worked

Laura had taken one look at the young man before handing him the contract for the other half of the building housing ‘Hale’s Sweets’. Letting him read through it she went and told her secretary to cancel the rest of her appointments before calling Erica, asking her to get there as fast as she could.

Getting back to her office the young man had looked up and asked for a few days to have someone look it over. Laura had happily agreed and waved him of in time for Erica to catch a glimpse of him.

It had taken them less than an hour to come up with a plan and only a little while longer to set it in motion. Erica being married to a bricklayer sped up that part of the plan involving renovating the space.

He’d been back two days later with a feisty red head who’d made demands Laura was willing to meet and soon the contract was signed, Stiles - as he’d told her to call him - leaving with a copy while Laura’s secretary had filed away the original and Laura had congratulated herself with her own brilliance.

Laura had known from the second she saw him, that Stiles would be perfect for her brother. Sure, she could’ve done what normal people do and introduced the two to each other, but seeing as she didn’t know Stiles and Derek didn’t like meeting new people that wasn’t really an option. And as she’d said to Eric, where was the fun in that, anyway? Besides, it wasn’t some nefarious plan to gain world domination, more a ploy to create the best circumstances for her brother to meet someone interesting that she thought he would hit it off with.

The renovations got done in record time. Luckily the door that had originally been between the two parts of the building was still there, had only been walled on either side; getting it free on Derek’s side had been a matter of waiting for her brother’s day off and then have the crew work as fast as possible. Luckily Derek wasn’t in the habit of staring at the walls which meant he probably wouldn’t notice anything amiss. They’d uncovered and cleared the door opening and then made it look like a solid concrete wall, figuring that at some point someone was going to hang something there.

The text from Erica confirmed that Laura made the best plans.

For some reason they never get around to fix the hole in the wall.

Derek watches the space take form, sees how differently Stiles shapes it compared to his own. Shelves filled with books hang among different movie posters and paintings by local artists - little, discreet plaques informing the viewer of their names and in some cases the price of the pieces - potted plants hang in the windows and are placed on a few tables at the armchairs.

When neither’s busy they often find themselves in deep conversation through the wall, Stiles talking with his whole body and Derek listening intently, often laughing at something the other say to Erica’s wordless amusement and wonder. She’s worked for him since he opened ‘Hale’s Sweets’ and has never heard him laugh neither as frequent nor as loud.

Months passes and Derek and Stiles’ friendship grows with each passing day. They graduate from only talking through the hole in the wall during the day to the exchange of numbers and subsequent texting to doing things together outside of business. The first time Derek meets Stiles’ friends is a Friday night at a nearby bar. When he arrives they’re all half way towards drunk but they’re nice and welcoming; not necessarily people Derek would’ve chosen for himself but being thrown in among them he finds that he likes them, think they could his friends, too.

It’s a while later Stiles finds out his landlady is actually Derek’s sister. He’d fallen asleep in his tiny office and wakes to raised voices from Derek’s side of the building. Blinking owlishly at his watch he groans when he manages to make sense of the blinking numbers and, hoping Derek has some coffee he might be willing to part with, he gets up and makes his way to the wall.

Despite the early hour he recognizes Laura Hale instantly where she’s jabbing a finger at Derek’s chest, the man grimaces and catches her hand on its next inward jab. Stiles clears his throat, catching their attention; seeing him she smiles brightly while Derek looks like he’d just bitten into the world’s sourest lemon. Still, he reaches for a steaming cup on the counter and a package of sugar with his other hand, expertly rips it open and dumps the contents into the cup, then he stirs while stepping closer to the hole in the wall, handing the cup to Stiles who eagerly grabs it and takes a careful sip.

”Stiles, my sister Laura. Laura please leave,” Derek says just as Laura happily exclaims; “Stiles!” and runs up to awkwardly hug him through the wall. Derek rolls his eyes and takes the cup from Stiles almost as if he’d expected this to happen.

”In a minute, brother dear,” Laura says, her attention focused solely on Stiles.

”Ms Hale,” Stiles starts only to be cut of by a “call me Laura. After all you’re my favorite tenant. Not to mention everything I’ve heard about you and your shop; quite impressive. But have you ever considered getting a partner? Expanding your product range?”

Stiles stares at her, then at Derek who looks like the proverbial deer caught in headlights; he can’t believe he didn’t think of that. How many times has he watched potential customers walk in from Derek’s shop with a freshly baked bun or a slice of pie and a cup of coffee only to sit down at the tables in Stiles’ shop to eat and drink before browsing his wares. Not to mention every time someone comments of the heavenly scents drifting through the wall, and when leaving his shop turn left towards ‘Hale’s Sweets’ (Stiles having a ‘duh’ moment when he realizes he should’ve known Laura Hale and Derek were related long before today) to sate their sweet tooth.

”That’s,” he hesitantly begins, catching Derek’s eyes and whatever the man sees in his gaze has him relaxing, giving Stiles the confidence to finish his sentence, “actually a great idea. Derek?” The man nods in response, Laura beaming at the two of them.

”Now that’s cause for celebration. Stiles, are you busy tonight?” he shakes his head and Laura continues, “awesome. Then maybe you and that red headed friend of yours would like to come to dinner tonight. We could talk business and get to know each other.” Behind her Derek was shaking his head but Stiles grinned and said he’d call Lydia right away, see if she was free.

Enough days had passed for the last Tuesday of November to roll around once more. Cora had delivered two new pines the day before - last year’s back outside where they belonged - and Derek had gotten the decorations out of storage. The morning rush was over, the sign flipped to ‘closed’ and both Erica and Isaac had the rest of the day off. Music was playing quietly over the speakers, the smell of freshly baked goods hanging heavy in the air.

Stepping from the kitchen into the shop itself Derek couldn’t help ponder the difference from last year. He and Stiles had decided to merge their shops and the easiest way to do so was getting rid of the common wall (after making sure it wasn’t load bearing); they’d then had the workmen make another wall at waist height with a wide opening to keep the spaces apart while still a unit. The café style tables and potted plants spilled into Derek’s space, the coffee brewing migrated to Stiles’ and books were everywhere and at some point all of it became their space.

Now, with no customers in sight, Stiles was dancing to and singing along with the music. Derek sat the chest on the counter smiling at the sight; Stiles had no rhythm whatsoever and his singing wasn’t ever going to win him any awards, but he was enjoying himself, his joy infectious and Derek took a step closer, then one more and when Stiles turned in his direction put his arms around him, slowly swaying them around the room. Stiles trips and steps on his foot, Derek bumps into a chair knocking it over and still they keep moving, smiling at each other as one song ends and the next begins.

It’s dark outside when they open the box, on top of all the decorations two small, black boxes containing the jeweled promise of forever.

End

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

I’m going to post a small section or so of each WIP I have on here. Inbox me with which ones catch your eye!

Solangelo:

Satisfied: He turned and Nico felt dizzy. As he looked into bright, intelligent, blue eyes and took in the welcoming but worn smirk and the splatter of freckles that gave this man such a boyish look, the words on the tip of his tongue disappeared and his mind was completely blank.       “Hi,” the blond answered. Nico gulped and tried to remember how to introduce himself, tried to remember what he’d come to say. Suddenly he felt overheated. His heart was beating rapidly, harshly against his ribs, and he was positive his own cheeks were bright under his olive toned skin. He managed a smile and the man arched an eyebrow at him. “Is it me, or is it a little hard to find a way to be satisfied at these things?” he said in a low, enticing voice that made Nico nervous. “Something tells me you’ve never been.”

Prejudice Makes the Beast: “Thank you,” he answered, mystified, staring at the kit curiously. Katie and Miss Knowles left, leaving Will with his new prisoner. “So what stupid thing did you do to get yourself to look like that?” he asked briskly. His dark eyes flickered to Will like an endless abyss of mystery and wonder.       “What?”       “Household objects don’t usually talk. And neither do animals. Your eyes are too human. And I’m not stupid.” He folded his hands over the table, sick, but still very much in control. “So, who did you anger to the point of getting turned into… an oversized teddy bear?” Will growled and the boy rolled his eyes. “Oh please. Growl all you want, you know I’m right. Besides, if you were going to eat me, you would’ve done it.” Will glared at him, but the boy seemed unfazed. “You said you wanted my sister. Why?” 

Lams

Rules to Break: Later that night, once they were leaving the bonfire, Alexander tugged on John’s sleeve. “I have an idea,” he whispered. He walked beside him, speaking quietly so John had to lean down a bit. “It takes three offenses before getting kicked out. If we’re subtle, we won’t get caught.”       “Caught?” Alexander opened his notebook and pulled out the pamphlet, showing him the side with the rules.      “We’re going to break each one of these by the end of the summer. And we’re not getting caught unless it’s absolutely necessary to. Some of these are a little difficult to break without getting caught.” He smiled widely, giving him a completely different look. Frankly, it was a wonderful thing to see on his face. “So are you in, Laurens?” 

Klance

My Only Hope (A Walk to Remember AU): Logan tilted his head back, demanding his attention. “You mad at me?”       “You left me,” Keith hissed. “It was your stupid idea and I took the fall for you again.”      “I’ll make it up to you,” he murmured against Keith’s jawline. Keith scoffed and let Logan press kisses along his jaw until he reached his lips. “Okay?” Keith hummed and shut his eyes as Logan kissed him, his tongue sliding along Keith’s lip.         “Uh-oh, watch out, there comes Bible Boy,” Natalie muttered softly. Keith and Logan split apart, and glanced over to where Lance McClain was walking.        Lance McClain was a reverend’s nephew. Keith had been in the same kindergarten class with him, and they’d gone to the same schools since. He always wore an oversized faded blue sweater and always, always had a bible in his hands. He never even bothered to hide it in his backpack. The teachers never told him anything because he didn’t preach it to anyone, so he wasn’t technically breaking any rules. And he always walked around with his head down, gripping his ratty old book, sticking out like a sore thumb with his tall, lanky figure and godawful haircut.

My Dearest Bodyguard: As King Alfor stepped back, he gave Lance a slight smile and the prince couldn’t help the warm and hopeful feeling he felt bubble up in him. “Now you are grown. And every royal needs a guard when they come of age.” Lance fought the urge to frown. “Keith Kogane, step forward.” From the front row of seats, Lance saw one of many Galras stand. He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched this one stand straight, left arm crossed over his chest with a fist at his shoulder. This boy couldn’t be much older than Lance. How was he a guard? “Keith Kogane, do you solemnly swear to protect the prince to the best of your abilities at all times, regardless of the cost?”           “I swear it,” the boy said, with a look of determination.

Come Back Home (angst?): Movies  never prepare you for what comes after the honeymoon stage. They show you how fun it is to playfully shop for things you’ll want in your new, tiny one bedroom apartment, how you spend the first day there slow dancing in an empty living room with only a box for a table to put Chinese takeout on.... They don’t tell you how tedious the bills get. How arguments start over whose fault it is the fire alarm went off, or who used more electricity, or who was supposed to take out the trash or do the laundry or wash the dishes.... They don’t tell you any of it, they don’t prepare you for any of it. And there’s no escaping it. Because your names are on a lease and you have nowhere else to go. 

idek: A long time ago, a relationship had gone to shit due to rapidly developing emotions. Then again shortly after, and again the time after that. Lance had a bad habit of falling hard and fast, and moving even faster. He’d gotten his heart broken too many times for the sole reason that he couldn’t set a pace for himself and his significant other and it always got out of hand.         So when Keith agreed to date him, Lance promised himself he’d take his time. He promised himself to go slow and be patient and to wait. He wouldn’t fuck this up.         It worked for about a week. 

Mr. Student Body President: “Of course. Anyway, I have a few ways you can complete your hours. Are you good at any sports or classes? You can help with personal practices and tutoring-”      “Jesus, dude. Look, there’s a reason I’m in this shit in the first place, so no. I don’t do sports and school.”      Lance sat and sighed. “Does it ever get tiring?” Keith tilted his head. “This whole act thing you’ve got going.”       Keith’s laid back posture turned rigid and his face went from cocky to defensive. “Don’t talk to me like you know me, Mr. President.”       Lance shrugged and drummed his fingers on the table. “The thing is, I kind of do. You’re Keith Kogane. The kid who used to trip people to win at tag in elementary, the kid who always talked back to a teacher who made him look stupid, the guy who had all A’s until freshman year. So yeah, don’t bullshit me when it’s obvious you’re purposefully failing your classes before you pull them up last minute to get credit. So I’m gonna ask you again. What classes are you good at?” 

The Lost Prince (Anastasia AU): As they ran, he could hear people shout, “Down with the Koganes! Down with the monarchy! Kill them all!”       “Shiro!”       “Don’t listen, just keep running.”       Suddenly, another hand pulled at his shirt harshly, making him slip from Shiro’s grasp. He turned in fear, but was surprised to meet a face about his age. The servant boy who wanted to dance at the party. His blue eyes were wide, but seemingly less afraid than himself.        “They’ll find you there! Come this way, there’s a servant’s passage.” He ran into another room for the princes to follow. He kneeled at one wall, shoving impatiently until it gave way to an opening. Akira’s eyes widened at the sight. “Go! You’re running out of time!”

All Planned Out: Lance always wondered why Sofi or Abby couldn’t help with it. Just because they were girls didn’t mean they couldn’t clean a car. But Lance was the middle child. Abby’s job was to babysit. Sofi’s was to be cute. His was to do as he was told.       A pretty black car came down the road as Lance scrubbed the back of his mom’s car with a soapy sponge and stopped at the house across and one over from his own. A big man stepped out, and Lance watched as another kid came out from the back door. The big man went to the trunk and pulled out a suitcase and a box of stuff. Lance saw the kid look over at him, and he turned away, scrubbing the car. Mom always said staring wasn’t polite.       Lance kept helping his dad, only turning to stare when the car went away. He saw the little boy holding onto the pillar in front of the house, and his face was red and wet, but he looked angry. Someone else came outside and then the boy ran inside. Lance wanted to see if he was okay. But he didn’t know the boy or the people who lived in the house he was left at.      So instead, Lance finished helping with yard work and then went inside for a shower. He played video games until it was one in the morning, then fell asleep, wondering if that boy across the street was still crying and why. 

[mikepemulis]

Secret Santa

Hey @beaniejared!!! Merry Christmas! I’m your secret santa for @dearevanhansensecretsanta! Here’s some Connor/Jared theatre fluff for the soul. <3

In Kleinsphy We Don’t Say I Love You We Say Fuck You And I Think That’s Beautiful

2204 Words, Rated T for inane amounts of swearing

Connor groaned loudly. The prickly school carpeting was making his back numb, and the lack of sleep inherent to tech week made his entire body feel like he was pumping cough syrup instead of blood.

The bright, fluorescent lights of the booth boring into his brain were not helping.

“Jared!” He whined, covering his eyes with his hoodie. “It’s two in the fucking morning. When are we going to leave?”

Jared didn’t look up from his equipment. “You had the chance to get a ride home with Zoe, Evan, and Alana two hours ago,” He said.

Connor rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know you would be staying so late. I thought if Alana Beck, our ever diligent stage manager, was leaving then you wouldn’t be far behind. You’re generally known as a slacker -”

“You can’t see right now but I am flipping you off -”

“Besides, I would rather be trapped here until dawn than in sitting next to Evan in the backseat of my sister’s car while she and Alana suck face. Yannow, I think he’s still scared of me.”

“He’s not scared of you, he’s just skittish. Like a fucking… chipmunk or something. A sweaty chipmunk.”

Connor snorted.

“And,” Jared continued. “For your information, I can be very diligent. I only slack off on things I don’t care about. Programming the lighting board takes time and patience. Something you actors wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh blow me, Kleinman.”

“Maybe later. Right now I’m working.”

“I’m not even an actor, you know,” Connor said. “I’m not talented. I’m just one of like… five guys who tried out. And like… making me the sadistic dentist? That’s just blatant typecasting.”

“Shut up, Connor. You and I both know that you’re good at this.”

Connor sat up and smirked.

“What was that?”

“Fuck off.”

“Was… was that… was that a compliment?”

“I hate you.”

“From Jared Kleinman?”

“Why are you like this?”

“Did the Amazing Asshole Jared Kleinman just give me a compliment?”

Connor had slowly made his way over to Jared’s chair, until he was right in his face.

“You’re the worst, you know that?” Jared said, a fond smile ghosting over his lips.

Connor shrugged. He was half expecting Jared to lean forward and kiss him, with their faces being so close together, but he instead turned back to his computer with a soft hum.

Connor glanced at the screen. It was full of codes and colors and buttons that he didn’t understand, but he could glean that Jared would not be done for awhile.

He jumped on the the counter next to Jared’s workstation, resting his legs on one of the many plush chairs that occupied the space.

“You aren’t supposed to be up there,” Jared said.

“Mkay, but consider this, I don’t give a fuck.”

Jared rolled his eyes absentmindedly, but didn’t press the issue any further.

“Ya know,” Connor said after ten minutes of insufferable silence. Connor hated silence. And stillness. He’d had ADHD when he was younger. Sometimes he thought he still had it, but his dad had said he’d “grown out of it” and that “adults don’t have ADHD.” “I used to get really high up here sophomore year.”

“Oh, Jesus, that was you?”

Connor shrugged. “Not just me. Charlie Davis and Alan P. were there too.”

“Alan P.? Dana P.’s older brother?”

“Yeah. He was a senior when we were sophomores.”

“There’s no way he was a stoner. He’s going to like… an Ivy League school.”

“So? Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. But yeah. Alan P. is a major pothead. He was my first kiss, too.”

“Were you guys high?”

“As a kite.”

“Kinky.”

“Fuck off.”

“What’s that even like?”

“Getting high?”

“Kissing while high. Or getting high. I dunno. Both?”

“Getting high is like… I dunno. It just chills me out. It makes Big Bang Theory watchable, if that helps. And kissing while high is… it depends. Kissing Alan while high was whatever. Cause I didn’t really have a crush on him, it just sort of happened? So it was like… ‘whoa you taste like weed but also have a mouth, that’s fun.’ I dunno what kissing someone I really liked high would be like.”

Jared nodded noncommittally. “So you really didn’t like Alan P.?”

“No? Why?” Connor raised an eyebrow. “Holy shit are you jealous?”

Jared blushed slightly. “No. Fuck you.”

Connor cackled. “Don’t worry, Jared. You’re the only boy I want to kiss. High or otherwise.”

“Connor, that’s gay,” Jared said, a smile pulling at his lips.

“cONor thAT’S gAy,” Connor mocked, doing his best impression of the Spongebob Parrot meme.

Jared laughed softly. Connor loved Jared’s laugh. It wasn’t a particularly melodic or dulcet laugh, it was kind of cackley, and to the untrained ear it would sound mocking, but it was perfect for Jared. It was rough around the edges, kind of disarming at first, but also gleeful and unapologetic. Jared was different and odd and unexpected and Connor thought he was perfect. Jared went back to his programming. Different combinations would light up the stage, and Connor could barely tell the difference between most of them, but Jared would shake his head and change something minute twelve hundred times before he actually inputted a queue. Connor admired the laser focus that Jared had. The only thing Connor could do for a continuous amount of time was read. He also liked to dance or play video games, but neither of those things were still. Connor had to be really high to sit in stillness. Jared seemed to relish in the monotony of inputting codes and tweaking HTML.

Connor abruptly jumped off of the counter, landing less than gracefully. Jared jumped at bit at the sudden movement.

“What the fuck?”

“I need your keys.”

“My… keys?”

“Yes. Your keys.”

“Uh…”

“I’m not going to abandon you at the school, Kleinman. Just fucking trust me.”

Jared let out a beleaguered sigh, but reached into his backpack and tossed Connor his keys. They were attached to a first generation Pokemon lanyard. It was adorable.

“Cool. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes.” Connor started for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Sucking dick for meth!” Connor called as he walked down the hallway to the stairs.

“Bring me some back!”

Connor chuckled. Jared was such a dork.

He walked down the stairs, then left the janitor’s closet that held the passageway to the booth, and exited the school, the brisk night air chilling him to the bone. He left one of the many blocks of wood that littered the floor of the scene shop in the door so that he could get back in.

Jared’s car was a cherry red monstrosity that had over a hundred thousand miles on it and a steering wheel that was held together by duct tape. It could only play cassettes and didn’t get FM radio. Connor absolutely loved it.

He opened the passenger seat door, and was washed over by the smell of dirty laundry, fast food, and Jared. He sat on the cracked leather seat, putting the key in the ignition and stepping on the break. Connor loved driving. His parents took away his car after his last suicide attempt, which, okay, was fair, but it still sucked. It was a weird dichotomy, understanding the measures his parents took to ensure his safety but at the same time being angry and stifled by their constant worry and restrictions.

He flipped on the radio, turning on NPR. His and Jared’s favorite radio show was on. Coast to Coast. It was a conspiracy show that talked about everything from aliens to bigfoot to demonic black eyed children that haunted people until they went insane. It was great. Connor and Jared would stay up until dawn listening to the broadcast in their respective rooms, texting each other back and forth. Gregg Noory was talking about some sort of miniature black hole that scientists were working creating on which had the possibility to destroy the entire world. Driving down a road in the dead of night listening to him talk made the hairs on Connor’s arms stand up. It was exhilarating.

He swerved in to the nearly empty convenience store parking lot. The fluorescent lights illuminated the air around the store like an edgy CW drama. Not that Connor watched edgy CW dramas. He just happened to sometimes be in the room when Zoe was watching them.

He entered the store and grabbed a basket, then headed towards the freezer section. Connor grabbed a carton of rocky road and threw it in. He turned to open the doors again but realized something that felt earth shattering.

He had no fucking clue what kind of ice cream Jared liked.

He couldn’t just text him and ask him, that would ruin the whole romantic shtick. But he couldn’t get the wrong kind of ice cream. Connor came from a family that took ice cream very seriously. One wrong distinction between chocolate and rainbow sprinkles could be the difference between civility and throwing around microwaves. (Connor liked rainbow sprinkles because he was gay and awesome, and Zoe liked chocolate ones because she was a dweeb.)

Connor pulled out his phone and shot a quick text.

To: Hansen

what kind of ice cream does jared like

To: Connor Murphy

What? Why? It’s three am?

To: Hansen

i know what fucking time it is asshole what kind of ice cream does jared like

To: Connor Murphy

Why are you awake? You should be asleep, Connor.

To: Connor Murphy

And cherry garcia.

To: Hansen

pot. kettle. black.

To: Hansen

also, cherry garcia?? fuckin weirdo

Connor grabbed the cherry garcia and dropped it in the basket nonetheless. He also picked up a package of plastic spoons and two water bottles. A suspiciously red-eyed twenty something checked him out and Connor drove back to the high school, not taking notice of the speed limits because it was three in the morning and he had ice cream in the car.

He entered the school, jogged up the stairs, and dramatically kicked open the door to the booth. Jared was still in front of the computer, ever so slightly adjusting shades of pink.

“I’m fighting against every fiber of my being not to make a ‘honey, I’m home,’ joke right now,” Connor said, setting his bounty down on the counter.

Jared turned towards him. “What did you get?”

Connor pulled out the ice cream, flashing a smile.

“Connor, we aren’t allowed to have food up here.”

“I’m pretty sure we also aren’t allowed to be here past midnight so…”

Jared furrowed his brow. Connor smiled wider and handed him the pint of ice cream and a plastic spoon.

Jared opened his mouth to protest, but Connor cut him off.

“Stop being such an Alana and eat the ice cream, Kleinman.”

“Wow. Rude.” But Jared pulled the top off of the carton and tried to pull out a giant scoop, breaking his spoon in the process.

Connor handed him another spoon.

“Fuck off,” Jared muttered.

Connor grinned. “I didn’t say anything.” He opened his own ice cream and dipped his spoon in.

Jared paused, turned back to his computer and grabbed his phone. A song Connor recognized as being from Next To Normal started blaring from the speakers meant for the God Mic.

Connor smiled, and in a moment of bravery, leaned over and pecked Jared on the lips. Even though they’d been dating for a few months, they were shy around affection, both expecting the other to reveal that the whole relationship had been a prank or a lie.

Jared’s face went red, splitting in to a wide grin.

The ate their ice cream in relative silence, occasionally cracking jokes or singing along to Jared’s musical playlist. At one point, Connor put down his spoon and did an entire dance routine in the cramped booth.

“How the fuck have you memorized the entire dance to King Of New York?” Jared asked, incredulous.

Connor shrugged. “I might have a small crush on Ben Cook…”

“Don’t we all.” Jared looked up in fake wistfulness, then looked back at Connor. “So, Newsies is a favorite of yours then?”

“Oh, God no.”

Jared stared at him, offended. “Okay then, Mr. Judgy. What do you like?”

“Off the top of my head? Fantasticks, Apple Tree, and Hair.”

“Oh my god, what are you, seventy?”

“Oh go blow Steven Schwartz, asshole.”

“How can you not recognize that we are in a new golden age of musical theatre?!”

“Okay then, what do you like?”

“Next To Normal, Spring Awakening, and Cats.”

“Cats?!”

“Okay listen -”

“I cannot believe I’m in love with someone who likes Cats!”

“Cats is - wait. In… In love?”

Connor stopped dead. The late night and the free flowing banter and the being alone with Jared has loosened his tongue, and he’d ruined everything.

“I mean… I just… no! Fuck! Of course not, I’m just… I meant to say… I… fuck you!”

“Connor.”

Connor stared at his hands, trying not to freak out.

“Connor!”

His head snapped up, and he looked at Jared.

“I… I love you too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Cool.”

“Very cool.”

“Insanely cool.”

“Fuck off, Kleinman.”

[shadcatmastered]

Kid x Law - Fanfiction - Another world - Part 1

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. Dr. Trafalgar left about two hours ago. " Kid stared at the nurse. Second by second, before he tried a smile. "Oh, right. Then I must have messed up something. " She smiled as well, before continuing to work. The redhead, on the other hand, just felt his heart throb. He had not confused anything. Slowly he pulled out his smartphone and looked at the message Law had sent him less than ten minutes ago. 'I'll be home late tonight. I have to work longer. Love you.' Laws Message was exactly as he remembered it. Only that it was obviously a lie. The redhead put away his smartphone and sat down on the patient benches. He was so pale that another nurse addressed him in passing, if everything was alright. Kid just nodded. Even if he felt that nothing was alright. Why did Law lie to him? And what about all those other nights when Law had to attend work or conferences? Was that just lying? But ... but why should Law lie to him ...? Except he ... No. No, Law would never cheat on him. But why else ... It was two o'clock tomorrow when Kid heard the key turn in the lock. He was lying in bed, but he had not slept for a second. No, he'd been waiting the whole time for Law to come home. Silently he listened as he went to the kitchen. Law drank something, ate leftovers from the dinner Kid had cooked for them hours before. After that, he took a shower and Kid closed his eyes. Law would never cheat on him. There was something different behind it. Certainly. At some point, the bed wiggled beside him and Kid opened his eyes again. The look of his golden eyes was scrutinizing and hurt. Well, at least until he saw Law's face. Then he sat up, startled. "Law! What happened to you?!" His eye was swollen, as if someone had sunk his fist into it. And those scratches ...! The redhead's fingers trembled with concern as he reached out and laid his hands on Laws cheek. He noticed only now the thick bandage, which was around his arm. God! Law smiled as he snuggled his face into his hands. "Oh, some drunk thought he could steal money from me. The police are taking care of him now. " Law kissed Kids palms before he leaned forward and cupped his face against his chest. A loud sigh escaped him and Kid wrapped his arms around his back. Kids heart was pounding wildly. "But I'm so glad I have you. What would I do without you ... " The words of the black-haired were infinitely quiet and Kid looked down at him. And why are you lying to me then ...? But he could not say it. Not now. Law needed him. Instead, he just hugged him tightly before his wounded face reappeared in front of his. Law smiled before kissing him so tenderly. Kid felt tears in his eyes as he returned that beautiful kiss. Longing, almost desperate. His boyfriend's fingers went over his eyes and he took the tears with him before he said softly: "But, but ... my sweetheart, I'm fine. I did not mean to scare you. These are just a few scratches. " No, that was more than just scratches...! But instead of saying just that, he just kissed him deeper, more pleadingly. He did not want anything in the world, except Law. Since this evening, Law came home every day later and later. On some nights he did not come home at all. He always wrote, apologized. Kid did not call the co-workers with whom he would prepare surgery or exchange research results. He knew that Law was not there. He knew it, because Law came home every day with more and more injuries. Injuries that he could not explain to him. Sometimes it was animals, sometimes an accident. Yesterday, Kid had not even asked, and Law was sitting on his lap. With those big, blue eyes that had apologized to him so much. "I love you. Never forget that, yeah? " In the meantime, the redhead no longer believed that Law was cheating on him. Very well, it was possible that he was in trouble. In serious trouble. Someone seemed to be ambushing and threatening them almost every day. And Law did not want to talk to him. Why... Maybe he was just worried about him? That Kid would get the same treatment? But Kid was much more worried about Law than about himself! He was the love of his life! He would do anything for him! The next week, Kid secretly took a vacation from work. He would find out what was bothering him so much. And he would help Law! Whether he wanted it or not! It was an early Monday morning when the redhead said goodbye to Law with a kiss. He walked out of the house and took his motorcycle. Supposedly to drive to work. But he only waited a few blocks away. He felt guilty in his actions. But Kid really did not know how to help himself anymore. So he secretly followed the car of his boyfriend. Where nothing exciting happened. He actually drove to the clinic and went to work. But that did not matter. Kid was passing the time drinking coffee and playing mobile games. He leaned against the shady tree in the clinic park and waited. The day passed and Law did not leave the hospital. When his shift was over, he even came out very punctually. Smiling as he reached the car and unlocked it. At the sight, Kid smiled again. What? Was today one of those days that Law would just go home? That... that would be great...! Kid got up and thought about going shopping. Then he would have an excuse why he was not home when Law came home. Then he would cook something really great for them...! Well, at least until Law looked at his smartphone. Kid could see from a distance how much his facial expression froze. For a few seconds, he saw Law typing on the phone. Did he call someone? Whereupon the question was clarified when Kid saw his number on the display. With that, Kids' mood dropped as much as Law's. He accepted the call . "Darling? Where are you right now?" I spy on you. Kid closed his eyes briefly, thinking of the lie he had just had in his head. "Hey sweetie. Just in front of the supermarket. I wanted to buy some things to cook us a great meal. Will you come home then? " He himself heard how pleading his words were at the end. Suddenly he did not want to find out why Law always came home so late. He just wanted to dine with him at home in all comfort. Was this so much asking ...? The redhead literally thought he heard Law swallow at the other end of the line. Painfully. "No... I .. a colleague got sick. I must step in for him. Kid... Kid I'm really sorry. We'll catch up, will we? " “It’s okay.” Law hung up. Kid watched him. Watching Law slap his hands over his face and then sit in the car with such a suffering facial expression that Kid suddenly felt certainty. Law needed his help. With impetus he sat down on his motorcycle and drove after Laws car. He would save him! With such a few criminals he would still cope easily! Kid was surprised which direction Law took. He drove outside the city in an area, which belonged more to the homeless or young people. Dilapidated houses bordered on a large forest area, which was an official hunting area. As the cars were getting fewer and fewer in that direction, Kid took more and more distance and parked well two blocks away when Law finally stopped at the edge of the forest. Securing his motorcycle well, because damn, he loved his sweetheart, and putting in the shelter of a bush, he realized in fright that he had lost sight of Law. In his black leathery jacket he ran to his car and looked around in all directions. Where had Law gone now? Above all, the sun had gone down and the red of the sky was turning into a slow black. If he lost him now, the whole action would have been in vain! Oh, there! On the edge of the forest, he saw the figure of his boyfriend disappear between the houses, which made him run after him. How was Law so fast? Christ, he had never seen him run so fast! When Kid arrived at the borders of the big fir trees, he saw signs hanging everywhere that the hunting area started here. Images of guns exacerbated his sudden discomfort, even if he went in the forest anyway. The trees were thick and the ground was thick with scrub. Still, Kid thought he heard voices. Laws...! He hid behind a high spruce and was amazed when he not only discovered Law. No, next to him was Laws sister with her boyfriend and his father. Huh? What kind of a strange conference was that? Ah, he could not hear anything! The darkness reached its greatest magnitude, even if none of the four were somehow impressed. No, Laws father raised his hand and... and... a ball of light appeared. Full of disbelief, Kid stared in the direction, rubbing his eyes. Wh- what? And yet she was there. A ball of pure light that lit up their faces. They all looked incredibly serious and exchanged words. Kid was still staring at the sphere of light. What kind of technique was that? The next moment, Law raised his hand and... his tattoo glowed. The one on the palm that he Law already possessed the day she got to know each other. With a snap of his fingers, he did something. At least Kid thought he was doing something. For the next moment, it was like a portal over them and they were gone. His mouth opened. Completely surprised and disbelieving Kid stared into the darkness. Huh... HÄ?! He had expected many things. But really not ... that! Whatever that was! Was he just dreaming? Maybe he was asleep. At least he did not want anything more than just going home. Kid dug out his smartphone and turned on his flashlight app before finding his way back out of the forest. What... he had not seriously seen a portal open. And much less, how it worked?! Besides... how far had he actually gone into the woods?! Between rage and fear, Kid grabbed his way as he struggled through the foliage, then sighed in relief as he finally freed himself. Whereby the relief got stuck in his throat. Here it was as dark as in the forest. No street lamps, no house lights. The city was a few streets away from this long abandoned area. Kid simply got involved with something that was nothing but sheer fear of death. Suddenly he felt like a deer with the rifle barrel of the hunter on his neck. Only away here! He ran with great strides past Laws car to his motorcycle. He heard shouting voices but ignored them. At least until he heard Lamy's (Laws sister) voice. "LAW! Danger!" Law?! His heart was racing like crazy, but he stopped. Lamy had sounded so frantic, so startled... and before Kid knew what he was doing, he ran in the direction of the voices. No! If something happened to Law, Kid would never forgive himself! No way! The redhead ran around the corner of one of the dilapidated houses and what he saw there would kill him in another situation. Law and Lamy faced a group of people. Well 12 people, Kid would say spontaneously. Law held a sword in his hand, which was larger than himself and Lamy two firearms. Was that a fight?! Above all, their apparent opponents did not look a bit impressed. One of them threw herself downright amused against the siblings, with nothing more than her bare hands. And... and she was so fast...! Kids eyes could not even follow ...! Whereby the mood changed suddenly, when Law cut off a man's head with his sword. The redhead clapped his hands over his mouth and his knees were shaky. Law had someone... murdered someone...! The person who had lost his head fell to dust... no corpse, just dust! Kid was dizzy from all the new impressions, the things that should never have happened...! And yet, Kid was scary again when he saw a woman rushing from behind at Law. He looked in a different direction and Lamy as well...! NO! The redhead ran forward. As fast as if his own life depended on it. Kid threw himself on the woman. Her hand had been only inches from Laws collar. Kid had served in the military for two years. With a sudden intuition, Kid remembered his education and began to put the woman in the grip. His arm to her throat and squeeze. Even if his eyes fell on Law. Law, who looked at him with pure horror in his eyes. "... Kid ...?! No!" Law stormed in his direction and Kid noticed a second later why. The woman did not choke. She was not looking for air. She stood up and grabbed him by the upper arm as if he were as light as a straw doll. She then opened her mouth and hissed at him. A hiss... came to light with the two long fangs. Fangs like a... vampire. That thought was stupid. Just stupid. And yet, Kid had never screamed more loudly than ever before. The woman flung him away with one hand. Kid landed on the stony ground and felt his skin rip. Even when the force of the impact turned everything around in him and turned his world into a blurry, shaky mess. "Law... Law..." Groaning he called his name, worried about him... but Kid had at least two broken bones and he was feeling sick and dizzy. The next moment he was picked up by the collar again and looked into the eyes of a pale man who had almost completely black eyes. He grinned, broad and angry. "That's him , witch? Your little one? No wonder we could not find him! Who would have thought that your lover is just a worthless human! " A laugh escaped from his mouth and Kid raised his fists. He tried to beat him. But the pale man just laughed louder. "Oh, witch. This will hurt you, and especially your little one very badly. But remember, that's the punishment for you to interfere in our affairs!" Did he speak with Law ...? Witch...? Kid was confused, but more than anything he was scared. Especially when he noticed how the stranger opened his mouth and also exposed two long fangs. Law yelled his name. Loud, desperate! But Kid just watched with wide eyes as the man tore open his own fingertip. Black blood ran down. Kid screamed Law’s name. Kid had come to safe him... now Kid had to be saved! But Law failed. There were only those black eyes as the man pressed the tip of his finger into the wound of Kids arm, which he had torn open during the fall. It did not take a few seconds for Kid to feel a pain that made him scream. He screamed and topped with pain, screaming and shouting, before the gracious powerlessness enveloped him. His vision became black. Music. Droning music. Kids eyes were closed, but his slowly awakening mind was filled with music. The footsteps of many people, voices, screams... a nightclub...? Slowly Kid opened his eyes, then pinched them again. The light blinded him so much that his eyes started to scream and, yet he sat up. Kid was dizzy. At the same time he filled himself in infatuation. Colored lights danced behind his eyelids. Drugs. He felt like he was under drugs. "Well, did the princess wake up? Welcome! Welcome, in your new world!" A laughing voice greeted him and Kid recognized it. It was the man from the forest. The one with black eyes and black blood. Kid had to be scared. But he wasn’t. No. His brain mass seemed to dance with the quivering music. He also wobbled a bit while sitting. Whereupon a laugh sounded. "Don’t worry, all newbies feel that way. It will be over in a few hours. But feeling a few hours strange is nothing against the gift of immortality. " Kid did not really understand what the man wanted to tell him, but he did not really care. Slowly he managed to open his eyes and found himself lying on the floor. Pretty in the middle of a room that looked like the VIP launch of a club. Two wide leather sofas and several large, upholstered chairs were aligned to a small bar. Kids fingers almost felt enchanted by how soft the carpet was under him. On the couch in front of him sat the man with the black eyes. Two very lightly dressed women pressed against him. One of them drank a red cocktail that smelled wonderful and the other kissed the man's neck, showing her long fangs. Another one of those ... Kid almost opened his mouth like in a dream and let his tongue wander around. And it was struck by these sharp teeth, which had not been there before. He opened his mouth and embraced them with his fingers. A moment later he pulled on them. Ah! That hurt! Now was the moment Kid wanted to panic. But the only thing his brain could do was keep his fingers moving in rhythm with the new teeth. "Oh yes, they are real. And careful. You have a little more strength than before. Not that you rip them off. It hurts a lot when they regrow. " You could hear the amusement from his voice. But Kid thought of something else. Something that made him suddenly startled despite his intoxication. With wide eyes he looked to the man and breathed only croaking: "Where is Law?” Whereupon the man laughed. But not alone anymore. The redhead's gaze wandered around the room, and he did register the various men and women in the room. Not many, just a few. But they all had that fragrance. A sweet, fruity fragrance. And without opening their mouth, Kid knew they all had the same long teeth. "Oh, your witch is fine. We left yesterday after we picked you up. But I doubt he wants you anymore. " What...? Why should not Law want him anymore...? And... yesterday ...? Kid looked at it confusedly, feeling a sudden sadness that made him waver seated. What was going on here...? "Nonsense..." Where was Law? He wanted Law to pick him up. He was drunk. Badly drunk. He wanted to go home. The voice of the man sounded and suddenly his hand grabbed him. Within half a second he was on his feet, only to be pushed into the soft couch. Kid looked at the man who grinned at him before he even offered him a cocktail like his playmate had just drunk. "Drink. Then you feel better immediately. By the way, you can call me Lucio. " The man sat down again between the women and Kid looked after him. "I’m Kid." He softly called his name while looking at the contents of the cocktail. A reddish, thick liquid. With a wonderful smell. A light gasp came over his lips. Wow. It smelled so good. He had never smelled such a good thing ...! "Oh, the first sip of blood... remember Anastasia...? That was very special...! " The woman, who had now sat down on Lucio's lap, spoke her words and smiled downright at the second woman, who then dumped her cocktail all at once. "It is always special.” Blood...? He would not drink blood! With a look of transfigured horror, Kid put the glass away and stood swaying. "I go. I want to go home." At his words, a collective laugh sounded. Kid headed for the door. "You can do whatever you want. If you survive the next day, you're welcoming to come back. You belong to our club now, I would say. Oh, and make sure you have a roof over your head before the sun comes up. " More laughter sounded, which Kid carefully ignored. He did not want to belong. His interest in nightclubs had dropped sharply after he got into solid hands. And he would not fall asleep on any park bench. Indeed. When he opened the door, he was on the top floor of a club. Many dancing people pressed together and moved in time. It was terribly loud. The colors too bright. It was like a struggle to move through all the people, with so many of them smelling sweet. As sweet as he smelled. And the others... the others smelled so... so delicious! ...he wanted to get out of here...! It seemed like ages, but then he was in the cool air. The doormen glanced at him and Kid thought he saw a slightly mocking smile. But right now he also believed he saw many things. Actually, it was night, right? Why could he still see everything anyway...? It was all very greyish, but he could see as daylight. Even better. ...drugs... they had really given him drugs ... Kid staggered through the streets. He did not recognize anything. He could not tell if it was because he had never been here, or because his eyes were so different. So sharp, so clean, so far. Surely his head would have hurt him in another situation. The redhead did not know how long he was treading through the streets before realizing that he could not find his way home. Despair spread in him. He wanted it to stop...! Law was a doctor, this could certainly give him something against the effects of... whatever...! Law ... God, he was stupid! Killed by his own thoughtlessness, Kid sat down on the curb and pulled out his smartphone. His gaze wavered and yet he managed to choose his number. Like his last lifeline, he clung to his smartphone. It was not a few seconds before Law took off.

written by Shadcatmastered

-I’m sorry for mistakes. English is not my native language.-

[dontlookatmeitwashim]

The Truth Of Being a Hunter: One Shot

A Dean/Oc! Please reblog, leave a comment, even message me!! 

Dean never thought he would have a family. He never thought he would find out what it was like to be a father of his own children, never thought he would be married and in a suburban house. But he was glad for the family he got… he had a woman he loved, and she loved him, they had a beautiful baby boy that Dean adored.

The woman’s name was Rose Dawson, she wasn’t like a hunter like them, but she was a cop. The first time she and Dean met, they were in High School. Her dad was the sheriff and the Winchesters were always getting into trouble. The next time they bumped into each other was twenty years later, she was the new sheriff and they were in town for a case. Rose knew that there was something different about the brothers, so when she learned about hunting and all that goes bump in the night; she strangely took it well. It was after that that Dean made a point to always visit her between cases and pretty soon, one visit turned into her moving into the bunker and then turned into shopping for baby clothes.

Dean loved Rose with all his heart, she was that part of his heart that craved being normal and she gladly gave it to him. He loved that she never pushed about joining cases, but always ready for when he needs to come with them. He loved that she never looked at him differently, not even when he became a demon, not even when he volunteered to be the bomb that killed God’s sister, He loved that she was quick to comfort him, always knowing exactly what he needed. But most of all, he loved her because she brought his son into this world.

His son, Zeke Bobby Winchester was as smart as his mother but tough like his dad. He had Dean’s eyes, but Rose’s dark hair. He was a beautiful child, their perfect baby boy. Dean loved coming home to have his son grin at the sight of him and run towards him as fast as his small legs could. Dean would scoop him up in his arms and smother him in kisses, hugging him tightly; like it was going to be the last time that he was going to hold his child.

Then, of course, he always had Sam. His baby brother, the one person he knew that would always be there no matter what happened. Dean knew that if he had Sam beside him, he could handle anything that was thrust at him.

But Fate was a bitch and Death was unkind.

The first was Zeke. They were just watching a movie, laughing, smiling together. Zeke was at their feet, running around and playing when he just collapsed. Rose was the first to her feet, running to her son and picking him up in her arms. She tried to shake him awake, saying his name repeatedly. Tears streamed down her face as his eyes, his beautiful green eyes, stared up at nothing; his skin pale and lifeless. She cradled him in her chest, rocking back forth as she cried.

All Dean could do was hold her, hold her and try not to completely break down. He looked up at his brother and saw the tears roll down his face slowly, Sam’s eyes filled with sorrow. Dean watched as his brother pried Zeke’s dead body out of his mother’s arms. Rose became hysterical, Dean hand to lock her in an embrace, her face buried in his shoulder as she screamed.

The next day, they burned the body. It was strange, usually, Dean had someone to blame, someone he could focus on. But, Zeke died because of a tumor that was in his head and with Castiel gone? There was no bringing him back, so there they stood; watching his tiny little body turn into ash. Making God the only person the older hunter could blame.

The only sound was the fire crackling and Rose’s crying as she clutched her son’s favorite toy in her hands. It was the first toy that Dean had brought him; a stuffed koala. It broke Dean’s heart to see Rose the way she was, he tried to comfort her, but she wouldn’t have it. She was so lost in her own sadness that she wouldn’t talk to anyone, she only held onto that stuffed animal and stared at the walls of her son’s empty room. It was a month after the funeral did Rose just left, leaving Dean where he first started… with Sam.

It was months before he and Sam found Rose… in a cold morgue in her hometown. When Dean saw her cold, lifeless body lying in front of him; his world started to crumble. His chest tightened, making it hard to breathe and his eyes watered. Several tears fell from his cheeks as he tried to breath. He could feel Sam next to him, holding him up and trying to calm him down, but it wasn’t any use. Dean had gotten so used to Rose being the one to calm him down, to comfort him that his brother’s attempts were useless. Dean ran out of the building, holding his head as he screamed and cried.

The police said that she moved into her old house and went back to her old job. They said that she barely went home, always in her office drinking late and often crying. They said that she died from alcohol poisoning… Rose died heartbroken, alone and clutching that stuffed koala.

“Dean, you have to breathe!” Sam caught up with him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He was completely terrified of the scene that was playing before him, he didn’t know what to do. Tears filled the younger brother’s eyes. “Dean, come on… I need you, okay? Because I don’t think I can handle all this by myself. I loved Rose and I loved Zeke with all my heart. I need you, Dean. Rose and Zeke wouldn’t want you to shut down…”

The hunter looked up at his brother’s eyes, still unable to breathe. He let out a choked on his tears before he grabbed Sam and hugged him tightly. It was the first time Sam had seen his older brother so distraught and that truly scared him. But, Dean took several deep breaths and stood up straight, wiping away his tears and getting back to business.

“Your right, let’s get going.”

They left the funeral to whatever family Rose had left in the town, deciding it wasn’t their place to attend. But that didn’t stop Dean from visiting her grave a week later with some red roses and tearful apology.

8888

It was only six months after Rose died and if Dean wasn’t completely heartbroken after that? He was now. Because now? He truly was alone. It was only a moment, a quick second and that was it. The last of Dean’s family was dead. He wished he could say it was to save the world, to put an end to demons and monsters for good…

But the truth was, Sam just didn’t see the gun being pointed at his head and within just a second, Sam was dead. There were no more deals with death, no more changing their fates and no more Castiel to bring them back. That was it… Sam was dead, and Dean was all alone.

After that, Dean didn’t want to do anything that dealt with monsters, angels or demons. He didn’t even want to live in the bunker anymore, so he packed up his stuff and left. He found a small town in northern California, bought a small cabin and tried to forget that he was all alone. Once and awhile, some demons would come knocking at his door, but Dean paid them no mind. He simply told them to leave before he made them leave.

As the years went on, angels and demons came by less and less until they stopped completely. Dean started to get used to the idea of being alone. He had given up on the world and trying to save it, he no longer wanted to be in the family business.

The locals in the town started to know him by name; Dean Smith, they would smile at him whenever he went into town. Some girls even tried to flirt, but Dean never returned the flatteries. He never could love another person again after all he lost…

Dean was finally pushing fifty and people started to call him an old man, the kids making up stories about how his old cabin was haunted or something and that he was a killer. They weren’t wrong about him being a killer, but they were wrong about the cabin being haunted, which always made Dean chuckle. But, their mothers didn’t know that. Their mothers were those young girls that would flirt with him all those years ago and they would scold their children, telling them about the heartbreaking story of how he lost his family in a fire. When he turned sixty, many of the locals called him Grandpa, several children coming to him and asking for him to play with them. It warmed his hard heart and he couldn’t help but accept their offer.  

Eighty-years-old, Dean no longer left his cabin. Many of the families in town would come and make sure he was comfortable and that he ate that day. Dean would think of them as friends, but he never once called them family. Even after all these years, the hunter couldn’t let anyone else into his heart… but there was one. A little boy, now twenty-five, that Dean was closer to than anyone else in the town.

His name was Henry Rickson. He reminded Dean so much of his own son that he couldn’t help but love him like one and Henry loved him like a grandfather. Henry was his shadow for the longest time, always wanting to know what he was doing, where he was going and if he could teach him how to do this or that. Dean couldn’t say no… but as the older, he got, the more he couldn’t do.

Death was at his door, he could feel it, so he called for Henry and he came.

“Hey there, old man.” Henry opened the door with a grin, his wife next to him as they entered the cabin that was his second home. “Hear you been asking for me?”

Dean grinned at the sight of him and nodded, motioning for them to come forward. “I just wanted to talk.”

Grabbing tow chairs, Henry and his wife sat beside his bed; Henry taking the old hunter’s hand in his. “Talk about what? You always have something to say, what is it this time?”

“Better watch your mouth, boy, or I’ll give you an ass whopping!” Dean laughed, which only ended up being a cough. He took a moment and cleared his throat and looked up at the couple, patting Henry’s hand. “Ugh, I’m getting old.”

“You are old.” The young man shot back with a smirk.

Nodding, the hunter sighed. He closed his eyes for a moment and thought about his life, all the good and bad that happened in it. There were plenty of mistakes, ones that he will regret forever, but he had lived with them. “You're completely right... I think today is as good as any.”

“What do you mean?” Tonya asked beside her husband, looking concerned.

“Don’t worry.” He opened his eyes and smiled at the woman, then he looked over at Henry. The hunter squeezed his hand before sighing. “So, are you ready for me to answer the question you’ve been dying to know the answer to?”

Henry’s eyes immediately lit up and nodded his head. He scooted closer to the bed, smiling in anticipation. “You bet you wrinkly ass I am!”

Dean chuckled again and let go of his hand. The hunter reached over to his bedside table, opening a drawer slowly and getting out a medium-sized box. He held the box gingerly, like it was sacred, and closed his eyes. He could feel the tears behind his eyelids and he could feel death closing in. He looked over at Henry and Tonya and smiled.  

“I had a family. Not a traditional one that you're used to, but I had one. There was Bobby, the father I wished I had and John, the father I had but didn’t want. My mother who died early on in my life. Sam, my baby brother that I raised and protected no matter what. Castiel and Charlie, my adopted siblings and much more I considered family before them. Then there was Rose… mother of my child, the love of my life. All of them died long before I turned forty-five.” Henry couldn’t look away from the old man. Every word he said was etched with heartbreak, sorrow, and anguish. Just listening to him talk about them made him want to cry, but he swallowed the tears and let Dean continue. He watched as the old man slowly handed over the box to him, noticing the way Dean’s breathing became shallower. “Here, take this and don’t open it until you are back home with your family.”

Henry took the box and nodded slowly. He leaned over and placed a kiss at the top of the old man’s head, his wife following suit. “I’ll come by tomorrow, Dean.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it!” The old hunter laughed as he watched them leave.

The ride back to his family’s house was only ten minutes. But as he pulled up to the driveway of his childhood home, Henry hesitated. He looked down at the box and picked it up gently. His wife watched him cautiously, not about to stop him from opening the gift away from the view of his family. Swallowing hard, Henry lifted the box and there sat a stuffed koala. He picked up with extreme care, turning it over in his hands. It was obvious that the stuffed animal was decades old, but it was still in pretty good shape. That’s when he saw it… Sewn-on the foot was the phrase ‘To Zeke, Love Dad.’.

“His son’s name was Zeke…” Tears formed in his eyes, unable to stop them from falling. He felt his wife’s arm around him, holding his head to her chest. “He called me Zeke because I reminded him of his dead son!”

 8888

Back in the cabin, Dean was closer to death with every second, but as he looked around he couldn’t help but feel lonely. He looked over at his bedside table and smiled at the pictures of his family. They all looked so happy and alive in the pictures… he couldn’t wait to be with them again, but he knew that knowing his luck? Dean would never see them again.

“Dean.” A familiar voice called from the doorway, bringing the old man out from his thoughts.

Looking over to see who it was, Dean gasped when he saw the one person he never thought he would see again. “Cas?”

The angel nodded, his eyes sad as he looked around the room. He walked over to the bed, sitting in the chair that Henry once was sitting in. He was still looking around the room when he heard the sniffle. Castiel looked over and saw that Dean was crying. It was strange to see his friend so old, it wasn’t something Castiel was used to, but it was clear to see that this old man was Dean Winchester. “What’s wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me, though I am confused about why you are even here. I thought you would still be hunting.

“I gave up hunting decades ago.” The old hunter laughed, knowing he didn’t have much time left. “After Sammy died? I just didn’t see the point anymore. I just couldn’t keep hunting when all it did was take all those I care about.”

“I understand.” Castiel nodded, still confused about why his friend was still crying. “Then why do you cry?”

Dean smiled at the angel, missing him deeply, the old hunter took his friend hand and squeezed it lightly, seeing the reaper behind him. “Because I didn’t want to die alone.”

And just like that… Dean Winchester was gone.

8888

All he could see was white, but as soon as it came? It was gone. He looked around, seeing a beautiful living room and the sounds of laughing being cut off suddenly. Turning around slowly, the man gasped at the scene before him… there standing in the big living room was all the people he ever called family.

“Dean!”

Again, please reblog, leave a comment or even message me! I love hearing from you guys, it makes my day!

[emily-sarah]

less doing, more being

The road was lined with birch trees, nearly bare. I had no idea where I was going, only that eventually the road would end and I would hopefully make it to my destination. I had never driven two hours just to attend mass. Sometimes when you have no clear path in life, you end up in the strangest places.

I arrived at Queen of Peace monastery right on time. For a minute I was taken aback by how beautiful the building was, and how out of place it looked in the middle of nowhere - big glass windows, cedar beams and white walls. It was so modern. I didn’t really know what to expect, but certainly not a convent that looked like a hipster coffee shop of some sort.

At this point, the obvious question is why did I drive two hours to attend mass at a convent? It started out as a joke about a year ago, that if my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would then I would just become a nun. Well, fast forward and there I was, pretending I knew the chants and liturgy that everyone else in the chapel knew off by heart. Even though I felt out of place, as a protestant who did not grow up in churches that places high focus on liturgy, something resonated in my soul. Maybe it was the crystal clear harmonies that filled the chapel, maybe it was the view of the snow-capped mountains, or the feeling of being totally anonymous in a room full of people.

I appreciate the liturgical, congregational style of worship that traditions like the Anglican and Catholic Churches follow. There’s something special about following the church calendar, as a global church. Knowing that the same words and ancient texts are being chanted by people all over the world.

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking and discussing with Sister Isabelle. I had emailed back and forth with her the week prior about setting up a time to ask some questions and learn more about monastic life. She was about a head shorter than me and had a delicate French accent. I learned so much from her that I am still sitting with and turning over in my heart, but here are some things that really stood out.

1. The monastic way of life flows out of the knowledge that you are deeply loved by Christ. If you don’t know this love and have never experienced intimacy with Christ, then this lifestyle will not be fulfilling.

Here I am thinking that embracing a monastic lifestyle will get you more brownie points with God… I am so wired to think that “doing” is what will transform me and make me more like Christ. Sister Isabelle reminded me that my worth and identity are not dependent on how well I do or how much I do. Nor is it dependant on how much I devote my life to God, or how many spiritual practices and disciplines I can fit into my day.

I have to constantly remind myself that there is nothing I can do to be in closer union with Christ. He already dwells within me - closer than my very breath. If everything I did flowed from a place of knowing how much Christ loves me, instead of the desire to earn that love, I can’t imagine how different my life would be.

Sister Isabelle looked right in my eyes and asked, “Have you experienced this intimacy with Christ?”

2. When you enter into monastic life, you have to let go of your desire to impress and please people. Your achievements, success, resume or personality won’t really get you anywhere in monastic living.

At first, this sounded a bit unnerving to me. My successes, my work ethic, my sense of humor, my need to please and impress people are what I use as decorations on the walls of my house. They look nice, and they can give off a certain impression of who I am to people. But if I took all of those things down and gave them away, what would I have left? I would feel like a blank wall.

Sister Isabelle explained how society tells people they have to ‘be someone’ in order to be loved - to which I nodded my head in agreement. But in monastic life, none of that matters. You come as you are, and that’s enough. And to let all of that go, all of those desires and that need to ‘be someone,’ is so liberating. Because you realize that without all of it, you are still good. You are still enough.

After I had asked all the questions I had come with, and all the ones that popped into my head as we talked, I went back to the chapel to sit in silence. I had so much to think about, and so much to process. But sitting and being still felt like it was what I needed.

I wasn’t there for much more than an hour, and nothing profound happened. In fact the sun was so warm that I almost found myself dozing off once or twice. It was just nice to sit there and not be thinking about what was next on the to-do list, or the responsibilities I had, or the expectations that I felt where on me.

When I got back into my car, it hit me that I had just spent the whole day doing nothing productive, nothing to better myself or others, nothing that would ‘fix’ all the things that are wrong… and the world was still spinning. I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Huh,” I thought as I started driving down the narrow path. “I guess it’s not my job to hold the world together.”

I think I felt that liberation that Sister Isabelle was talking about. I decided that somehow, I need to live monastically. Perhaps the reason I felt drawn to visit the monastery was not because I felt a call to embrace a radical lifestyle of monasticism, but to learn how to bring monastic practices into my life. I need to make space for more silence, more contemplation, more sitting and doing nothing productive. More space to feel intimacy with Christ. Less doing, more being.

[autistickogaynewrites]

Away From You

Adrinath August Day 13 - Last Thing you saw/heard/tasted etc. Decided to instead base this off of a conversation I had with my sister.

Adrien is dragged to New York by his father for work, and while there, he can't help but be reminded of Nathaniel everywhere he turns.

Adrien could only describe himself right now downright miserable. He and Nathaniel had only been dating for a month, and it was the best month of his life. Until his dad gave him the news that the two of them were needed in New York to help prepare for a large fashion event, and there was no way Adrien was able to get out of it. Gabriel had Nathalie pack for him and he was given two hours to spend time with Nathaniel before they had to leave for the next week and a half.

Adrien’s emotions fluctuated between being mad at his father for the short notice and sad that now the dates he had planned with Nathaniel were going to be scrapped. He had called the redhead as soon as he got the chance, explained what was happening, and agreed that the best way to spend the next two hours was cuddling on Nath’s couch, watching The Princess Bride, and eating the last of the treats Nathaniel’s sister had made the day before.

The cuddling was almost enough for him to forget the fact he would be leaving his boyfriend and friends behind for the next week, but the thought still hung over his head like a dark cloud. Luckily, Nathaniel seemed to pick up on how much the thought of leaving was really bothering his boyfriend, so he simply let Adrien relax, letting him rest his head in his lap as he ran his fingers through the blond hair. Usually Adrien would speak alongside the movie since he knew it so well, but today he decided to simply watch, mostly absorbing as much of his boyfriend’s presence as he could.

He was just dozing off when he heard the knocking at the front door. Groaning, he peaked an eye open, noting that it was two minutes before he was due to leave, so the knocking was probably for him. Glaring at the clock, he rolled up, pulling Nathaniel into a kiss before pulling away with a sigh.

“I’ll text and call as much as I can, okay? And I promise to bring back the best souvenirs ever. I’ll have to buy a whole new suitcase just to hold all of them,” Adrien muttered, using one hand to brush Nathaniel’s hair aside as he stood up to leave.

“Alright, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Nathaniel responded, standing to walk Adrien to the door. “I’ll miss you.”

Adrien’s face softened, stopping in front of the door to pull Nathaniel into another kiss. A week and a half wasn’t even that long to be apart, but knowing that it was his father’s whims that were taking him to an entirely different country without taking his wants into consideration. When he pulled back from the kiss, he smiled at the flush that was now painted across Nathaniel’s cheeks, accentuating the light freckles there that few ever noticed.

“I’ll miss you too.I’ll try to text you before we take off and when we land. It’s a nonstop, so it should only be around eight hours. I’ll probably just be working on the assignments I’ll be missing and sleeping. Hopefully this week goes by fast and I’ll be back cuddling with you before we even notice.” Adrien tried to reassure Nathaniel, giving him one last grin before opening the door and going with Nathalie to the airport.

It was fair to say the week was not going by quickly, in any sense of the word. The first day had been blocked off so he could try to recover from the jetlag, which he couldn’t help but be thankful for. The next two days had been a mess of shoots, scrambling for an upcoming fashion show, and sitting alone in his hotel room when his father had somewhere to be.

He had wanted to call Nath more often, but taking the six hour time difference into account, all the free time he had would’ve been either class time or the redhead would already be asleep. He had tried to convince his father to let him go souvenir shopping, even saying that he’d bring the Gorilla, but Gabriel had quickly told him that they were in a foreign city in a different country and as such, Adrien would be confined to his hotel room when they weren’t working.

The fourth day was crammed full of work for his father, but Adrien’s schedule was mostly clear, which left him time to sit around and wish he was back at Nathaniel’s, cuddling and cracking jokes about whatever they decided to watch together. Sighing, he pulled himself from where he was sprawled across the bed, walking to the large windows and peering down at the sidewalk below. They were only on the fifth floor, so he had a pretty decent view of the pedestrians skittering about below him. Pulling the chair for the desk towards the window, he decided that he might as well people watch, hoping that it would provide more entertaining than watching tv or surfing the internet.

He tried to imagine what they were doing, where they might be going, if maybe they were meeting up with others or if they might just be going to work. He imagined little stories in his head, freezing when he caught sight of someone with bright red hair bobbing their way down the sidewalk. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but from his current distance, it almost looked like Nathaniel.

Pressing his face to the glass, he squinted, watching the person as they walked closer and closer. Eventually, he could make out their face, and even though the chance had initially been low, he still frowned when he realized it wasn’t Nathaniel.

Deciding he had enough of window watching, he got up from the chair, crossing the room to pick up the menu Nathalie had dropped off for him less than an hour ago. She had told him that he was allowed to order what he wanted, as long as he was careful to not order in excess. Flicking through it, he decided to order a simple steak, eyes darting around before he flicked back to the dessert section. Scanning the options, he stopped when he came across the picture for the strawberry sponge cake. Nathaniel always told him that his favorite flavor anything was strawberry, and he was especially weak against strawberry cakes.

Making up his mind, he called down for his meal, practically bouncing in his seat as he waited for it to arrive. It was such a small thing, but with how much he missed the redhead, he hoped the taste of the strawberries would be enough to trick his brain into being a little less miserable.

When he heard the telltale knock at the door, he barely stopped himself from sprinting to the door and yanking it open. After taking a deep breath, he opened the door gently, stepping aside as the worker pushed the small cart into the room. Once it was beside the small sitting area, the man turned to leave, and Adrien made sure to pass the man a few dollars. Once the worker left, he turned to the food, pausing as he saw the small vase with a single tiger lily in it beside the plate. He stepped forward to run his fingers across the petals, smiling softly when he remembered Nathaniel telling him how much he loved the flowers.

”Tiger lilies were always my maman’s favorites. She said they were the first flower mère ever gave her. They planted some in our front yard, and they’ve been there as long as I can remember. Maman always told me they mean ‘I dare you to love me’. I don’t know, I just think that’s more beautiful than a red rose. I’d want a bouquet of tiger lilies if I ever got flowers.”

Blinking back a few tears, he sat down to eat, eyes glued to the flower as he ate. Maybe when he was done eating, he’d call Nath. The boy would still be in class, but he’d at least be able to hear his voice through the voicemail, and maybe he’d even leave a message telling the redhead how much he missed him.

Mind made up, he ate his steak quickly, but slowed down to savor the strawberry cake. Once finished, he pushed the cart out into the hall beside his door and darted back inside to grab his phone. When he found it and checked the time, he realized lunch was just ending in Paris, and he didn’t want the boy to see the call and be late to his next class trying to talk to him, so he decided to wait. Sitting on the small couch, he flicked the TV on, groaning when it flickered to life and showed The Princess Bride just starting.

He usually loved the movie, quoting along as often as he could, but knowing that he had cuddled up and watched the movie with Nathaniel right before he had to leave made his chest tighten. Turning it off, he decided to just lay in bed and nap, maybe read a bit of fanfiction on his phone before passing out. His schedule was empty for the next two days, so he wasn’t worried about missing anything. Changing into pajamas, he crawled into the bed, pulling the blanket over his head as he buried his face into the pillow.

When he woke up the first time, it was to the sound of hushed arguing right outside his door. It sounded like one of the voices might be Nathalie, but he was too tired to think on it, so he simply rolled over and went back to sleep.

The next time he woke up, it was to the sharp rapping of his father’s knuckles against his door. His father had a very distinctive way of knocking that let Adrien know it was him, but he usually just walked into whatever room he wanted, and Adrien knew he had a keycard to the room, so he simply sat and waited for the man to walk in. When a few moments later there was simply another knock at the door, he pulled himself out of the bed, checking to make sure he looked presentable before walking forward and opening the door. His father stood on the other side, hands crossed behind his back as Nathalie stood tapping away at her tablet. His father seemed to look him over before his brows furrowed.

“Nathalie brought it to my attention that you seemed...distressed yesterday, and that I should see what I could do to remedy the situation.”

Adrien opened his mouth to assure his father he was fine, but the man simply held up a hand and stopped him.

“I came to check on you yesterday evening, but you had already gone to bed, so I had Nathalie take care of it.”

Adrien paused, raising an eyebrow as he waited for his father to elaborate. The man stared at him for a few seconds before lifting one hand to wave like he was beckoning someone forward. Adrien leaned forward in the doorway, eyes widening when he caught sight of his redheaded boyfriend walking forward, one hand dragging his luggage behind him as the other rubbed at his eyes.

“Nath!” Adrien shouted, smile painted across his face as he darted forward to hug the boy, smiling into his hair as the artist’s arms came up to wrap around him.

“Nathalie informed me that a large part of your upset seemed to stem from his absence, so I had her contact his parents and book him a flight here. He’ll be staying with you, although I expect you to behave appropriately. Your schedule is empty until Friday, when we have a gala to attend, so you’ll be allowed to spend time with him. I have also taken the liberty of scheduling blocks of time for you to get out of the hotel and ‘sight-see’, with your bodyguard of course. We’ll have to get him a suit if he’s going to attend the gala as well, but seeing as how he’s most likely quite jetlagged, that can be taken care of later.”

Adrien pulled back from the hug, looking down at Nathaniel and noticing how tired the boy really looked.

“I’m sorry,” Nathaniel muttered, hand scrubbing over his face as he tried to stay awake, “I’ve never flown before, and it was a really long flight. The time change is also messing with me, so I’m more than ready for a nap.”

Adrien reached behind Nathaniel to grab his luggage, wrapping the other arm around the boy’s shoulders as he guided him into the room. Pushing him gently forward, he turned to thank his father. Before he could say anything, Gabriel simply nodded his head at him before turning on his heel and heading down the hallway. Nathalie gave him a small smile as well before following after him, leaving Adrien and Nathaniel alone.

Adrien pulled the luggage into the room, shutting the door behind him as he set the bag aside and walked into the room, finding Nathaniel, still fully dressed, sprawled across the bed.

“Nath, you can’t sleep in those clothes,” Adrien grinned, stepping forward to pull at the boy’s jacket, “You’ll regret it when you wake up. I’ll help you get changed and then we can cuddle and sleep, okay?”

Nathaniel let out a dramatic groan before rolling over, yanking at his jacket and tossing it to the ground.

“I can’t believe your dad managed to convince my parents to just let me fly over to New York for a week. I’m glad I get to see you again so soon, but my mind is still completely blown.”

Adrien chuckled as he untied Nath’s shoes, tugging them off as soon as they were loose enough. Leaving the redhead to handle the rest of the clothing, he grabbed the luggage, dragging it towards the bed so he could pull out some pajamas for his boyfriend.

Giggling at the Chat Noir onesie that he found as soon as the bag was unzipped, he tried to see if there were any other pajamas and finding none, he passed the onesie over to Nath, grinning at the red that flushed across his cheeks.

As soon as the boy was changed, Adrien crawled into the bed, pulling Nathaniel into his arms as they lay together.

“I really missed you,” He whispered, running one hand through the bright locks, “I’m glad you’re here now though.”

Nathaniel hummed, shifting so he could press a kiss right above Adrien’s heart before settling back.

“I missed you too. That’s why I came. Now, less talky, more cuddly.”

Adrien laughed, pulling Nathaniel closer, tangling their limbs together as he closed his eyes and relaxed, drifting off to sleep to the sound of his boyfriend’s light breathing. Right before he finally fell asleep, he realized that he was so unbelievably happy to have the other boy in his arms, that if felt like his heart might burst, and unbeknownst to him, Nathaniel felt the exact same way.

[bisexualamy]

Transition Update #45 (45 weeks on T; 27 days until top surgery)

(Please don’t reblog this!)

Yes, I am wearing one of of Aaron Ansuini’s shirts, because I love my boy and all of his art. The lighting is weird in these but I have a busy day so I’m not retaking them and you guys get the idea of what I look like at this point <3. It occurred to me this week that I’m so, so close to a year on T and that thought is wild and ridiculous and amazing and scary and I’m overall excited for that anniversary. 

My hair was too long and making me dysphoric so I went to the barber yesterday, which was largely net positive, and I need to stop being so nervous walking into my barber shop because I’ve never had a problem, but anxiety isn’t rational. I also had to shave my face on Friday when I went home and it made me so dysphoric so I decided that even though my mom doesn’t like facial hair I’m not doing that for her anymore. This is my face that I have to live with and as long as I keep my facial hair neat and clean I should be allowed to keep it when I go home. Fortunately, the stubble is growing back, and my rate of regaining facial hair is pretty fast, so probably next week all will be back to normal.

When I was home to see my sister graduate this past weekend I was more dysphoric than I’ve been in a long time, which in an ironic way quelled a lot of the doubts I’ve been having about being “really trans” and ready for the next step of surgery. My grandparents on my mom’s side do not acknowledge my transness at all, and I thought they were just old and forgetting not to deadname me (smh), but they kept it up when literally everyone else was calling me my new legal name. My sister was gendering me correctly and my grandmother interrupted her to get my attention by deadnaming me. It was shocking to me, and my grandmother is smart, so there’s no way she hasn’t caught on. They just don’t deem this important enough and that hurts me and breaks my heart, because I had a great relationship with them until I came out. I feel as though they want me to be the person I was four years ago, when I was “happily cis”, and I can’t and won’t do that. The silver lining is that my parents are being supportive of me and told me that they won’t make me come to as many family functions with them as previously required. That also hurts because I do want to see them for whatever time they have left, but I can’t if this is the way they’re going to address me.

I feel the changes slowing down as I get more into “maintenance” territory of being on T, which I like. Changes are nice, but I’m getting pretty comfortable with where I’m at, and most of my dysphoria is centered around having a chest, which top surgery is going to solve. (Also my face shape is still quite round, but that doesn’t seem to stop changing after the first year, so I look forward to that evolving as well). My pre-op is tomorrow (!!!) and the fact that it’s less than a month away is ridiculous and exciting and I’m so ready. I might not be mentally prepared for what surgery entails, but I am ready for the results, and I know that the only way out of this is through. It’s like getting a piercing: it hurts for a bit but then you have something amazing for the rest of your life.

[lost-n-stereo]

Ten

There are ten beer bottles sitting on his kitchen counter.

All of them are empty, lined up in rows of three with the odd man out lying on its side. He spins this one around, the label blurring as he leans his hip against the granite countertop.

The countertop they picked out together, not so long ago. Dark grey, modern and stylish, just like she wanted.

Around and around the green bottle spins until his eyes can’t take it anymore. He throws the bottle in the garbage can instead of the recycle bin. Partly because he’s almost a full case of beer deep and wasn’t really paying attention but also because she always insisted that they recycle as much as they could.

“It’s better for the environment,” he muses out loud to himself, his words slurring as he starts chucking the remaining beer bottles into the garbage, one by one.

She’s not here to yell at him anyways, so why the fuck should he care.

Nine

There are voicemails waiting for him when he wakes up the next morning.

“Bellamy, it’s your sister. What in the hell are you doing not answering your phone for days? Call me back!!”

“Bell? It’s Jasper. Just wanted to check up on you, man. Let me know how you’re doing.”

“Yo, It’s Murphy. Fuck that girl, let’s get drunk.”

“Hey, it’s Monty. I’m sure everyone is calling you but…we’re worried about you. Please let someone know if you’re okay.”

“Bell, honey? It’s mom. Please call me when you get this, your sister and I are worried about you. Love you.”

“Blake, it’s Miller. Octavia is freaking out man, hasn’t stopped calling me since yesterday. I know you’re hurting but…just please call someone back. Later.”

“Mr. Blake, it’s Professor Stanley. I just wanted to let you know that I received your email and am sorry to hear you won't be able to speak in my class this week. Hope we can schedule something again soon.”

“God damn it, Bellamy Blake! If you don’t call me back, I’m going to tell mom about all the stupid shit you did in high school. And we both know you don’t want that hellfire to rain down upon you. Call. Me. Back!”

“Hey….Bell. It’s me. Look, I know we said we weren’t going to call each other but…I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way that we ended things. I know it was for the best but…I just…please don’t pull away from everyone. They all love you so much. And so do I. I’m sorry.”

He deletes all of them but the last one, sets his phone on that fucking grey countertop and hits the speaker button.

“….They all love you so much. And so do I.”

Her voice is broken but so is his heart so he listens to it a few more times until he feels like breaking his phone.

Eight

She left one week and one day ago.

Packed up her stuff and just left.

It’s for the best.

We just aren’t right for each other.

I don’t want us to resent each other, Bellamy.

But he didn’t resent her, he never could. They were starting a life together; they bought a house for Christ’s sake. He thought they were going to live here forever, get married and start a family.

Now he runs his hands along the banister that she insisted they paint black as he walks down the stairs every morning, a stupid little reminder of how much of her is in this house, and it just reminds him of how she will always be connected to this house.

He wants to take a baseball bat to the fucking stairwell but he doesn’t.

Instead he just glares at it from their kitchen table but he guesses it’s just his kitchen table now.

Seven

There are photos of them together on the mantle in the living room.

He can’t bring himself to take them down.

One at Miller and Bryan’s wedding. Clarke is wearing this pink dress that he instantly wanted to take off of her with his teeth and she’s drunk, smiling up at him as he grins at the camera.

Another of them on their first spring break together, him standing in board shorts on the beach of Cancun with her on his back. Her face is partly covered in a wide brimmed hat that she forgot to take with her when she moved out.

One from Christmas the year before. Another from his sister’s high school graduation. A shot of them skiing over winter break. The day they bought their new house.

And the one right in the middle, a selfie she took one night when he was asleep. His hair is unruly, his reading glasses still on, and she’s kissing his cheek while looking at the camera. A secret smile touches her lips.

He stares at it for far too long, his chest heaving as the anger grows and before he realizes what he’s doing he’s throwing it across the room. Glass shatters but it doesn’t come close to what he’s feeling on the inside.

Six

Weeks go by without him noticing.

He wakes up alone, eats breakfast. Works out before going to work and then sometimes when he leaves. Comes home, eats dinner and goes to bed alone.

Week after week after week.

Sometimes on the weekends his friends will stop by, usually uninvited but it does make the house a little less quiet.

“You gotta snap out of this,” Miller tells him one day almost 2 months after Clarke left. “It’s been what, like six weeks?”

Bellamy rolls his eyes and takes a pull from his Stella. “You don’t just forget about the love of your life, Miller. What would you do if Bryan decided to bail on you?”

He feels vindicated when Miller stills. “I’d fucking die, man.”

Bellamy nods and doesn’t look away from the hockey game he’s not even paying attention to. “Then you understand.”

They watch the game in silence, Miller thinking about his future and Bellamy thinking about the one that he lost.

Five

“Uncle Bellamy!”

His nephew runs up to him, arms outstretched and he breaks a rare smile to lift him up.

“What’s up, buddy? Happy birthday.”

L.J. puts a hand on each of his cheeks. “Do you know how old I am now?”

Bellamy pretends to think. “Hmm, four?”

L.J. taps his hands on his cheeks and laughs. “No, silly! I’m this many!” He holds up five fingers on his tiny hands and Bellamy chuckles.

“Oh, that’s right! How could I forget that my favorite nephew is five years old today?”

“He’s your only nephew,” Octavia says as she waddles into the kitchen. Bellamy snorts and points to her baby bump.

“That could still be a boy, you know? Doctors are wrong sometimes.”

Octavia smacks his arm and L.J. giggles. “You shut your mouth with that shi…stuff. I have spent way too much money on pink and purple dresses for this baby to be a boy.”

His brother in law Lincoln walks in and drops a kiss on Octavia’s forehead and he looks away. He loves his sister and adores her family but he doesn’t like to be reminded of how happy other people are when he’s fucking miserable.

He hoists his nephew up on his hip and kisses the curls that remind him so much of his own. “Come on, birthday boy. Let’s go see about some presents.”

Four

“I think we should talk.”

He plays it back, once, twice, three times and then one more for good measure.

It’s been months since she walked out on him, packed her shit like she couldn’t wait to be anywhere else but by his side and left.

He chews on his thumbnail and looks at his phone like it’s a bomb with seconds left until it explodes. Maybe in a way it is. Why is she calling him now, after all this time? What is her endgame?

He doesn’t trust himself to call her, knows that hearing her voice will break all resolve so he goes the coward’s way and thumbs in a text.

When?

Seconds that feel like hours pass before his phone chimes with a response.

Tomorrow? That coffee shop on 3rd around 7?

He waits four minutes before responding.

I’ll be there.

Three

He finishes three cups of coffee before she even steps foot through the door.

His foot is bouncing on the floor and he rubs his hands up and down his thighs because his palms are sweating like crazy.

The bell above the door jingles at seven on the dot and of course it’s her. Always on time. He’s glad to see that hasn’t changed.

Her eyes light up when she sees him and he’s sort of glad that hasn’t changed either.

“Hi,” she says, setting her too large purse down on the chair beside her. “Have you been waiting long?”

“Not long,” he lies and she raises an eyebrow. “Okay, yeah. I got here like an hour ago.”

Clarke laughs a little and shifts in her seat. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

He wants to scoff, tell her that he’s been waiting months to hear her voice or see her face again but they are getting along and he doesn’t want to fuck this up. Whatever this is.

“So, you said we should talk?” Her eyes widen in surprise and he shrugs. “No use beating around the bush, right?”

“I guess not.” She asks for an Americano when a barista comes up to the table. “I’m really sorry about how things went down between us, Bell.”

His hand tightens around his coffee cup. “Then why don’t you tell me why it went down like that in the first place?”

Clarke sighs and starts shredding the napkin sitting in front of her. It’s one of her many tells, that she’s nervous and doesn’t want to open up even though she knows that she has to. “Bellamy…”

“Was it someone else?”

Her eyes shoot up, a mix of anger and confusion laced with something like desperation. “What? No! Why would you even think that?”

“I don’t know, Clarke. Because one day we were picking out curtains for the guest room and the next day you were telling me that you never wanted to see me again!”

His voice is getting louder and she looks around apologetically at everyone that has now turned to stare at them. “I never said that,” she says weakly. “I just said that we needed time apart so we didn’t end up resenting each other.”

He scoffs and leans forward so he’s more in her space than he was before. “You keep saying that but what does that even mean? Why would I resent you? Or is it more that you thought you’d end up resenting me?”

Her face gives her away. “Bellamy, we’re so young. And we started moving so fast. We bought the house and moved in together. I’m not even finished with school yet and…”

“It was your idea to buy that house,” he says pointedly and she frowns. “What? I’m sorry but it was. You said that was what you wanted. Something long term and I tried to give you that.”

“I know. I know you did. That’s why I’m sorry that I left like that. It wasn’t fair to you, I’m so sorry.”

She reaches over to place her hand on his and he blanches. “Do you want to get back together?”

“I…I don’t know. Maybe?”

Bellamy sighs and pulls his hand away even though it’s the last thing he wants to do.

“I’m not here for maybes, Clarke. Either you want to be with me, forever. Or you don’t.”

He leaves her alone at the table without stopping to look back.

Two

A day passes and then another.

“She’s probably just mulling things over,” Monty tells him as he pulls another piece of chicken from the bucket on the table. “You basically gave her an ultimatum.”

Bellamy shakes his head, spears a bite of mashed potatoes probably harder than he needed to. “I did not.”

“You kind of did,” Harper pitches in. “You told her either forever or don’t bother calling. That’s pretty much an ultimatum.”

Bellamy points his fork in her direction. “Don’t just agree with Monty because he’s your boyfriend.”

Miller walks in the room with Bryan following shortly behind. “What are we talking about? Bellamy’s ultimatum to Clarke?”

He groans and drops his head to the table. “Will you all just shut up? Why do I keep letting you people into my house?”

Miller drops a sloppy kiss to his forehead. “Because you love us!”

“Hardly,” he say, wiping the spit off of his skin. “You’re all just here because I’m too nice to say no.”

They all laugh and he scowls.

“Fuck you guys. I’m nice.”

One

They all look up when there’s a knock on the door.

Just one solid knock.

Bellamy looks around at them. “Everyone I know is in this room. Who in the hell is that?”

Miller shrugs. “Maybe it’s Murphy.”

He scoffs as he pushes away from the table. “We both know that fucker doesn’t knock.”

The laughter of his friends quiets as he steps out of the dining room and into the hallway that leads to the front door.

He doesn’t expect to see Clarke standing on the other side.

“Hey,” she says, her eyes watery but her smile bright. “Can I come in?”

“Um..” He looks behind him and then back at her.

“Oh my god,” she says, her hand coming up to her mouth. “Are you not alone?”

This makes him laugh which in turn makes her narrow her eyes. “No, I’m not but not in the way you’re thinking. Yeah, of course. Come in.”

Clarke follows him inside, sets her giant purse on the table near the door like she always used to do when she got home from school.

“Bellamy? Is it that fucker Murphy or what?”

Miller’s voice precedes him and Bellamy watches in amusement as he falters on his step when he sees Clarke standing in the foyer.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs before leaving the room. “Ya’ll? We should leave.”

Clarke looks up at Bellamy, her eyes full of questions and he just shrugs. In seconds all of his friends are filing through the hallway, smiling politely and saying hello to Clarke as they pass.

Miller mouths what the fuck over Clarke’s head and Bellamy shrugs again, helplessly this time because who knows what this means. Her coming here, to their house, could be everything.

Or it could be nothing.

Once everyone is gone Bellamy leads her through the house and back into the kitchen.

“Want a drink?” He asks, reaching for a bottle of her favorite wine. He doesn’t know why he has kept a bottle of it around this entire time. He fucking hates wine.

But she doesn’t.

“Please,” she says with a nod, a little smile on her lips when she sees the label. “Sorry to break up your party.”

There are paper plates and red cups littering their expensive oak kitchen table and he winces. “You didn’t. I didn’t really want them here anyways.”

Clarke laughs, a pretty melodic sound he hasn’t heard in far too long. She thanks him when he sets a glass of wine in front of her. “Always the charmer.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, some things never change.”

They sit across from each other in an awkward silence before they speak at the same time.

“Clarke, look…”

“Bellamy, I…”

He laughs, motions for her to speak and she tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth.

“Bellamy, I never should have left. I got scared and I was stupid. So stupid.”

His heart is pounding but he manages to stay calm on the surface “So what are you saying?”

Her eyes are watery, her voice quiet when she answers him. “I want to come home.”

Instead of pulling her to him like he’s dying to do he asks her one more question.

“Forever?”

She nods automatically, no hint of hesitation.

The chair he’s sitting in falls when he stands up abruptly and reaches for her, his fingers carding through the golden hair he hasn’t touched in months.

“God, I fucking missed you.” He kisses the breath from her lungs and she clings to him, hands on his biceps like she’s afraid to let go. “Don’t leave me again.”

Clarke shakes her head furiously. “I won’t. I love you. So much.”

Her legs are around his waist as he carries them up to their bedroom, still decorated exactly as she left it, and he lays her down on the bed carefully before dropping a single kiss to her lips.

“I love you,” he whispers into her skin before settling himself between her legs. “I was so lost without you.”

She nods. “I know. So was I. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. My grades started slipping. I missed you so much.”

He kisses the tears that fall from her beautiful eyes. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”

They make love until the sun comes up, the light streaming through the blinds as he draws nonsensical patterns on her bare skin.

A new day. A fresh beginning.

A single day to start the rest of their lives.

[whitefx]

I’m doing what no one wanted or asked me to do :D

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My ex?? 

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Both 

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Uhh friends. hopefully. Um family friends coming to visit.. i’m not sure bc i’m becoming a social recluse and apologize for everything i do.  Oh and my college classmates I met last week, they seem super coolio.

4. Are you easy to get along with? I’d like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Idk, I hope so?

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Guys, Gals, and nonbinary pals. Idk people with good personalities, nerds, soft features, again, nerds.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I highly doubt it

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Uh? No one right now?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Thats a yes and no answer. I’m okay with it but at the same time because I don’t know much of how sex works it sort of does? 

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Not sure. I don’t do deep convos often, the closet thing i’ve gotten is when I angrily told someone I’ve been wanting to die for the past few days, and that was a good month or two ago. I don’t usually do deep convos, I usually talk to myself about that jazz. 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Nice Nice”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 

Sharp Edges by Linkin Park, Heavy By Linkin Park, One more light Linkin park, Save by Tyler Joseph, Falling too by Tyler Joseph 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yess 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Eh, not really 

15. What good thing happened this summer? I started a college class. (summer legit just started)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Likely not, as I doubt she wants to talk to me ever again. 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Maybe 

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes? 

19. Do you like bubble baths? I would if my tall large body would fit in the bath tub

20. Do you like your neighbors? I do, more or less nice 

21. What are you bad habits? Eating food all the time, scratching at my skin, keeping in my emotions

22. Where would you like to travel? The uk! 

23. Do you have trust issues? Yes and no. I trust too easily but at the same time I have a hard time trusting at all 

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My chest/weight

26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone for the time

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker 

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My friend Ridge I think? I’m awkward around him once again bc i’ve been out of contact with him for a while and only recently got back to talking to him, otherwise i’ve become really uncomfortable socially around people

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Not yet. 

30. Do you ever want to get married? Some day

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Nah not anymore

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Good question?? I’m not too into sex?? and I can’t remember/don’t know names very well. 

33. Spell your name with your chin. Nah fam

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I used to do Tae Kwon Do, but not for awhile 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Tv probably. 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Probably? Not sure?? 

37. What do you say during awkward silences? So... 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? A nerd, a nerd in shows, video games, movies etc, soft features, cuddly and understanding of emotions, someone a bit taller than me, someone who understands that I get anxious quite easily and wont force me to do things that make me uncomfy.  

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Hottopic, Spencers, JC Penny, Michaels, idk I don’t shop that often. 

40. What do you want to do after high school? Get my two year degree, get a job in that process, move out. 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I do, but I give a billion chances when I shouldn’t. 

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m overthinking, i’m doing art, listening to music, i’m angry. 

43. Do you smile at strangers? I do. 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Ocean 

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The fear of my parents checking on me, thus seeing my disaster of a room and then being like, get yo room clean, no pc til room clean, and the possibility of being teased at/ told off for sleeping so much.. 

46. What are you paranoid about? Everything tbh.. like fuck.. It makes things hard and it makes some friends disappointed bc I can be super fucking paranoid. 

47. Have you ever been high? Yep. 

48. Have you ever been drunk? Not yet

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I don’t know.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Dark blue 

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yea 

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My weight 

53. Favourite makeup brand? Idk 

54. Favourite store? Spencers 

55. Favourite blog? Idk 

56. Favourite colour? Dark Navy Blue 

57. Favourite food? A good question 

58. Last thing you ate? Cheese cake 

59. First thing you ate this morning? Cheesecake 

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I don’t think so 

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Not yet 

62. Been arrested? For what? Haha no 

63. Ever been in love? I don’t know.. My last relationship was long distance and I started feeling nothing, kind of numb towards my ex, even when I went to see her it was sort of there sort of not.. So I don’t think so. 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? My ex got on the couch to be taller than me and we kissed. 

65. Are you hungry right now? No

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Idk 

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook  

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr 

69. Are you watching tv right now? No 

70. Names of your bestfriends? I don’t know who my bestfriends are anymore because of the stupidity thats fucking ruined my life for the past year. Theres on person, her name is Kaylee 

71. Craving something? What? Cuddles :( 

72. What colour are your towels? Creme-coloured 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 6? 

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes 

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? On my bed, there’s 5, in general thats a good question 

75. Favourite animal? Owls 

76. What colour is your underwear? Blue plaid 

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate 

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Green Tea 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue gray? 

80. What colour pants? Blue 

81. Favourite tv show? Lucifer or spn 

82. Favourite movie? Spirited Away 

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls 

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls 

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? idk 

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Nemo 

87. First person you talked to today? My mom  

88. Last person you talked to today? Dunno yet 

89. Name a person you hate? Me, myself, and I, kind of jking, I don’t really HATE anyone?  

90. Name a person you love? A good question 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nah 

92. In a fight with someone? Not at the moment 

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 1 

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 3? 

95. Last movie you watched? The Mummy 

96. Favourite actress? Idk 

97. Favourite actor? Idk 

98. Do you tan a lot? If I try to tan I have to burn my pale pale bod 

99. Have any pets? Yes 

100. How are you feeling? I’ve been better, def been worse. 

101. Do you type fast? I’d like to think so 

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yea.. 

103. Can you spell well? More or less, when I care to pay attention 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes? 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yea 

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? probably 

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yea 

108. What should you be doing? nothing really 

109. Is something irritating you right now? yes 

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? no 

111. Do you have trust issues? I answered this earlier 

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? sort of my sister? like I walked past her crying 

113. What was your childhood nickname? Randaloo 

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I’ve been to different states

115. Do you play the Wii? Sometimes 

116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes 

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Eh 

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes 

119. Favourite book? Merry Christmas Alex Cross By James Patterson 

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes 

121. Are you mean? I don’t know, probably to some people.. 

122. Is cheating ever okay? No 

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no 

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? maybe 

125. Do you believe in true love? i’d like to hope so 

126. Are you currently bored? always 

127. What makes you happy? bouldering, going out and hanging with friends, DOING something anything. 

128. Would you change your name? I sure plan on it. 

129. What your zodiac sign? Cancer 

130. Do you like subway? Yes 

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Sister-zone her. 

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I answered this already 

133. Favourite lyrics right now?  

“I'm holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on So much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? ” Heavy by Linkin Park 

134. Can you count to one million? No 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? The lunch I had earlier I gave to my friend bc she didn’t have one. fml lol 

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed 

137. How tall are you? 5′7 

138. Curly or Straight hair? I have curly hair 

139. Brunette or Blonde? Both 

140. Summer or Winter? Winter 

141. Night or Day? Night 

142. Favourite month? December 

143. Are you a vegetarian? Working on it 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk 

145. Tea or Coffee? Both 

146. Was today a good day? I guess 

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars 

148. What’s your favourite quote? 

“I’m still figuring out who I am, but I know I’m not who I was” ~Brendon Urie 

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “You take off your belt. And it happens again.”

That sounds bad out of context but its not a sexual book at all.