#farmville secrets

[freshcuntgrass]

An unflattering assumption I have about every NPC in Stardew Valley

Sam: gave Gus a fake ID to get alcohol. Jodi never goes to the saloon and Kent is afraid he forgot how old Sam is, so he's never getting called on it

Sebastian: has ruined at least one online D&D group playing an edgy lone-wolf rogue with no parents

Maru: still brings up her SAT score in conversation sometimes

Demetrius: has the Neil deGrasse Tyson thing going where he assumes every field is easy because he's good at biology. Maru finds this endearing with her gadgets; he is banned from looking at Sebastian's code

Wizard: same as Demetrius but ten times worse

Robin: first marriage ended because she slept with the wizard (Sebastian is his). What can I say, she likes em brilliant, socially awkward, and just a little insufferable

Clint: you KNOW this man's on Reddit and you KNOW he does not have a healthy relationship with it. I am begging Sebastian to "fix some tech problems for him" (install a secret browser extension block on the manosphere subreddits)

Elliott: hair-trigger crier. Poems, books, the end of every rom-com, songs you do not think it should be possible to cry during, noticed the cat sleeping in a really cute way, remembers that he lives near the ocean... honestly he'd have a lot more written by now if his entire day wasn't taken up by crying and hair care

Willy: has lived alone too long, holds conversations with most objects in his house

Leah: has NEVER swept or mopped the floor of that cabin. You can't see it in the pixel art but it's a biohazard

Pierre: Twitter power-user, unironically calls it X

Caroline: doing her own research on the COVID vaccine

Haley: Swiftie

Penny: even bigger Swiftie

Abigail: Homestuck

Alex: media literacy so bad he doesn't realize the insane homoeroticism of Top Gun

Harvey: terrified that someone in town will look closer at the degree on his wall and realize he's technically an RN, not a doctor, and then it'll just be awkward

Lewis: that truffle oil was for pegging

Evelyn: "secret family recipe" is boxed chocolate cake mix with mayonnaise instead of the oil

George: Hey... um... hey guys? Where was George on January 6th?

Pam: Hey guys, where was Pam on January 6th???

Gus: definitely drunk behind that bar most of the time. He gets away with it because it comes across as "jolly"

Linus: can't go back to Zuzu City. He knows what he did

Jodi: biggest Swiftie of them all. She name-searches. Yes, she's still on Tumblr. Hi Jodi, your fave is mid, looking forward to the anon hate :)

Kent: agrees with Alex that Top Gun isn't gay. Nothing's gay in the military

Sandy: unreal amount of mobile gaming going on back behind that counter. stop sending me Farmville requests

Marnie: actually accepts Sandy's Farmville requests. Keeps texting Shane minion memes

Shane: the real unflattering assumption with Shane is when you correctly clock a fellow Stardew Valley player as a Shane girlie. In our defense, he's going through a lot and we can fix him.

Krobus: eats those void eggs raw. Cracks the shell and drinks em. Slurp slurp bitch

Dwarf: honestly HUGE drug dealer vibes. Miner's Treat has got to be the dwarves' version of cocaine, right?

Vincent and Jas: safe for now, I don't roast anybody under 12. once we hit like year 5 I'm coming for you though

Emily: wants to reblog this but can't. her queue is full and she's hit post limit

[tigergirlpaya]

Gangs video game hcs :)

Darry:

• loves turn based combat and strategy games

• loves the og fallout but just can not get into anything passed fallout 2

• plays baldurs gate for the combat only

• 3000 hours in an obscure indie title that only ever has 3 players active at a time

• once got the entire gang to play FarmVille and he would get actually angry if they didn’t help complete the guild quests

Twobit:

• plays among us unironically

• gets drunk and goes on VR chat

• plays the sims just to make fucked up looking dudes to drown

• plays cod zombies religiously

• “IS THAT THE BITE OF 87’ ?????”

Dally:

• u know this man is grinding league and val like his life depends on it

• hard stuck bronze 2 😞

• the only person in the gang who will play games w him is Johnny bc everyone else is subject to his intense gamer rage

• takes every game way to seriously and is way to over competitive

Soda:

• doesn’t like video games very much

• logs into animal crossing every day to check On his villlagers anyways

• tries to play games w the gang even tho he doesn’t really know what’s going on

Steve:

• only plays triple a games

• gets just as angry as Dallas does and they have screaming matches in team chat when they play together

• Fortnite, apex, pubg man loves his battle royales

• secret obsession w dating sims that only Soda knows about

• knows how to code and makes shitty platformwrs for the gang to enjoy

Johnny:

• hates playing games by himself

• usually on stardew with Pony or playing some multiplayer horror game with Dally

• tries to get everyone to play games w him bc he thinks the more people who play the better but everyone is either busy or has a reason to not play w someone (Dally gamer rage, Pony bad at video games, Two not taking anything seriously etc.)

Pony:

• graphic novel and puzzle game enjoyer

• loves soulslike games but is awful at video games since he doesn’t play them so he either watching videos or asks someone to play so he can watch

• severe stardew valley addiction

• plays shitty old Jrpgs on an emulator on his phone

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Fic: A Nostalgic View

Feet dangling in the air from several stories above the metropolis, Silya felt remarkably calm. Though the sky was empty, the vast cityscape glistened beneath her like stars reflected on a wide lake. The open-aired, underground mall was directly under her, and Townsville Hall beyond that. Past the historic building was the Great Machine and a small patch of woods cutting the area off from the nearby outskirts. She couldn't see it, but she knew that further on still stood Charles Darwin Middle School, the Endsville nuclear plant, the Treehouse in Sector V... She wasn't a city-girl, but there was something about this view that felt like home.

Finding a truly quiet, isolated place anywhere within the City was a miracle. The young woman sat on a closed section of the Slider's track. It had been left untouched practically since the very start of the war, with maintenance efforts instead constantly focused on the main rails that ran all the way from Marquee Row to Peach Creek. Fusion Fighters regularly used these types of unmanned paths as short cuts, but this one saw very little traffic so far out from City Station. It was the perfect place for her to rest unbothered.

Well, she wasn't completely to herself. A light on her belt brightened as one of her nanos flew out of their chip to hover beside her. Golden pigtails fluttered in the wind while a pair of big, blue eyes stared at Silya innocently, "Is something wrong?"

"No, Plum, I'm fine," she shook her head at her Dee Dee nano. "I'm just feeling a little... reflective, that's all."

"About what?" The tiny doppelganger of her boss' sister floated down to rest her head on the young woman's thigh. Sometimes, she could be every bit as nosy as the real Dee Dee was, but in this case, Silya didn't mind.

"Just that I think I've grown up some," she answered.

It was hard for her to think of how far she'd come, both figuratively and literally. To have come from her small hometown of Farmville to then work as a research participant in Tech Square. To go from a child practically forbidden from leaving her own backyard to fighting fusion monsters across the world. She remembered wanting to be in the KND and living too far away to even talk to any sector, let alone join one. She remembered the Broccoloid invasion and that she'd been forced to stay inside the house, only to find out nearly every kid for miles had fought them off alongside the Powerpuff Girls. She remembered a time when her best friends were her toys and the cartoon characters she watched on TV. It was hard to call her that same little girl anymore.

"In what way...?" asked a harsh voice in a disbelieving tone just as a second stream of light—this time red—entered Silya's vision.

Ghost was her Hex nano, appropriately named for how often he tended to ghost out on the team at the worst of times. Not unlike some of her other teammates, however, he seemed to enjoy making an appearance when it meant getting the change to make a dig at her. A third, blue light would follow after him as Bola, her Coco nano, also zipped into view.

"If you think you've matured, I dread to know what you were like as a child!" the small, skull-painted face mouthed at her.

"Coco!" added the bird-like creature, flying alongside her head to pointedly level a wing above her scalp.

"Last week, you and Dexter went to pick up spare parts and got confused for twelve-year-olds." Plum was quick to add.

"I get it..."

"You were wearing a Chiisai Baani Baani t-shirt and that Sassy Cat jacket."

"I get it! Thank you, guys!"

Plum and Bola started laughing, the latter flopping over Silya's head as she fought to catch her breath. Silya just pouted. It was no small secret that she and Dex were two of the shortest and more baby-faced members of the staff at Dexlabs. New faces at the company always made a guessing game of their real ages. It was an issue only made more prominent when their more childish interests showed on the surface. Dexter was still a big fan of the Justice Friends and had a collection of action figures. Silya still liked cartoons and playing on the swings at the park.

So... maybe a few things hadn't changed.

Despite the teasing, a soft smile eventually found its way back onto her lips.

A loud shout immediately followed by an alarm broke the quiet. Looking down, the group noticed a large commotion near the mall, where a swarm of fusion monsters seemed to be trying to break in. An almost equally large unit of fusion fighters rushed to face them and the sounds of shatterguns pierced the night.

Silya quickly stood up and typed a command into her nanocom, a weapon manifesting into her hands. With a nod over to Ghost, she silently ordered him to use his magic to summon a strong wind. He groaned, but ultimately complied. The air beneath her grew almost ferocious and she jumped, trusting her nanos to help her descent. The time for reminiscing was over. The time for action was now.

((Didn't really have much in-mind for this oneshot, tbh. I just saw where the 20th Anniversary to CN City had passed this year and felt a little reminiscent about it. It wasn't the first era I was a part of growing up with the network, but it was one of the two that stuck with me the most. Combine that with me briefly dipping back into the game to check NPC locations/animations, and nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks. As upset as I am with where CN is today as a company, there's no denying the impact it had on me growing up. And, hey! More nano nickname drops! :D))

[shardilarf]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bee Movie quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws

of aviation,

there is no way a bee

should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get

its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care

what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?

- Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening?

- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father

paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.

- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye!

Barry, I told you,

stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam.

- Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel?

- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school,

three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took

a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry.

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie?

- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?

- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,

sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating

an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...

under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

- We are!

- Bee-men.

- Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity

graduating class of...

...9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career

at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas

inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?

- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,

a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,

have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you

can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen

Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive

golden glow you know as...

Honey!

- That girl was hot.

- She's my cousin!

- She is?

- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.

- At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect

of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing

a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes?

- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,

the Krelman.

- What does that do?

- Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are

small ones. But bees know

that every small job,

if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job

you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?

I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees,

as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have

to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they

never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?

We're bees.

We're the most perfectly

functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know

what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.

Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like

outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks!

- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were.

- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows

where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen

Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen

than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it

and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Oouple of Hive Harrys.

- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous

being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me

against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,

and with the other, he was slapping me!

- Oh, my!

- I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,

wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch

six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh?

- Barry!

A puddle jump for us,

but maybe you're not up for it.

- Maybe I am.

- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends

on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

- Well, there's a lot of choices.

- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored

doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just

move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad,

the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field

just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what,

making balloon animals?

That's a bad job

for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure

he wants to go into honey!

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

- I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going

into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

- You're gonna be a stirrer?

- No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.

Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

- We're starting work today!

- Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs

will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,

stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

- Is it still available?

- Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Oongratulations!

Step to the side.

- What'd you get?

- Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

- You want to go first?

- No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open,

not for the reason you think.

- Any chance of getting the Krelman?

- Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?

He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.

Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling,

stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,

lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what

do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch

in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?

Where are you?

- I'm going out.

- Out? Out where?

- Out there.

- Oh, no!

I have to, before I go

to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave,

there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

- Look at that.

- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you.

- OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know,

bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always,

watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs,

birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports

of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it,

babbling like a cicada!

- That's awful.

- And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one,

absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,

buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check.

- Nectar pack, check.

- Wings, check.

- Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias,

you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.

We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

- Ever see pollination up close?

- No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it

over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more

flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Oool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.

Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

Oopy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers

seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting

a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Ohemical-y.

Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Oandy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

- Guys!

- This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Ooming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

- Should we tell him?

- I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey,

because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

- Do something!

- I'm driving!

- Hi, bee.

- He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move,

he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level

out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

I’m throwing you for this

[fromdevcom]

Like to hack games? Not you can get benefited using games hacked by different game hacking experts on web. We have compiled an exclusive list of tools and tips for game hacks. Everyday thousands on online gamers get games hacked for fun, now you can also do it easily. Cheating is simply irresistible when it comes to online gaming. As online gamer, you want to destroy all your enemies or quickly move on to the higher stages, by any means. In this article, you will get some wicked cheats and tips that will take your gaming experience to the next level. Cheating, as you probably know, is considered an unethical practical in any online game. As a matter of fact, hacking game at any online gaming site can get your account closed and banned. Not to mention, it is rather annoying. There are some days, however, in which you want to fire up the competition or pull a prank against your allies and enemies. Oftentimes, you want everything to get done quickly. In these cases, cheating becomes a viable and appealing option. There are a lot of ways to hack games online. Here are some quick tips that will bolster your character’s attributes in no time. Game Genie Well, if you really want to take your hacking in online gaming to the next level, you should invest in a superior game hacking tool like Game Genie. Basically, Game Genie is a device that allows you to manipulate the codes in your online game in many ways that developers and original programmers did not intend. With game genie, you get to own special items/ weapons, activate higher and unreleased stages, and decipher secrets of the game. Moreover, this device gives you codes to debug access menus that were used by the game’s original programmers. Cheat Engine Another great tool you can use for game hacks online is Cheat Engine. With this tool, you get a chance to create your own version of your online game. In other words, this software program allows you to modify some of the online game’s parameters, to adjust them based on your preferences. If, for instance, you want to reduce the difficulty of a particular level, Cheat Engine will help you make the necessary adjustments for that level. As a hacking game software program, Cheat Engines allows you to cheat in a wide array of online games. Some popular examples of games hacked using this engine are Jetpack Joyride Online, Kingdom Rush Frontiers, Zynga Poker, and many more. Attack The Communication Between The Server And End-user Online server games like Farmville make cheating quite difficult, but not impossible. In this case, you can fake your scores and modify the data sent by hi-jacking the communication between the server and actual game. There are a lot of software programs and web plug-ins that you can use to do this, including WebScarab and Live HTTP Headers. Attacking the server-to-game communication is fairly easy, and can be done even if you have little to no knowledge in hacking and programming. Speedhacks Speedhacks are hacking game methods mainly used to change the speed of game play in an online game. If you do not have great agility and reflexes, Speedhacks could help you prevent obstacles on racing and running games like Temple Run. Speedhacks are very easy, and can be done using a few free plugins and tools. Attacking The Game’s Code An online game that operates through Adobe Flash may be easily deciphered in order to modify and analyze its mechanics. As you change the game’s mechanics, you get endless opportunities to make the game a lot simpler to play. This method, however, is not applicable to beginners in programming and hacking. To apply this hacking games method, you need to have a solid grasp in programming. Not to mention, you need to use a slew of sophisticated tools and plug-ins. Attack The Game’s Memory Online games, especially the Flash ones, are loaded to your system’s memory in which all the gameplay’s data are stored. With a few tools, you can easily access the game’s memory, and make the gameplay a lot simpler and easier.

As a matter of fact, you can increase your character’s life from five to a hundred with this hacking method. Many online expert hackers hack games using this technique. These are the ways and tools you need to successfully cheat in online games. Use these tips, and you will see a vast improvement in your character’s attributes and levels in a very short amount of time. It’s your turn! If you have ideas about game cheats that you want to share, please let your voice be heard, and share it to through the comments section below. Enjoy your games! Jimmy R. is an avid writer who loves sharing his ideas to the world. He writes about health, technology, basically everything and anything under the sun.

[musicarenagh]

Jay Sprouse’s Road to 'Innocent Harmony' In the sepia-toned world of “Innocent Harmony,” Jay Sprouse spills his heart through strings and breath, playing out a dusty road from obscurity to audacity. The music—raw as skinned knees and honest as dawn—rings with the kind of folk rock that smells like fresh rain on dry soil; it’s simple yet so intricately complex in its emotional weave. https://open.spotify.com/track/4XGuoiIgO4kVEp6MlvkLlC Wielding guitar and harmonica like ancient storytelling tools, Jay brings forth songs steeped in personal tribulations—a musical brew stirred slow over fading campfires of lost jobs and found passions. His notes are thick with perseverance, passion tastes tangy on the relatable rhythm, while joy—that fragile bird—is heard flitting between chords. The single captures not just sound but spirit; "Innocent Harmony" is less about melody for ears but more an anthem for sewing patches on tattered dreams. With help from friends who lend voices echoing from forgotten tracks aired erstwhile on a local Farmville station—an ethereal choir lending depth to the solo journey—he erects a cathedral where echoes dwell long after their source has faded. [caption id="attachment_56218" align="alignnone" width="1080"] Jay Sprouse’s Road to 'Innocent Harmony'[/caption] To delve into this song is to peep through keyholes at secrets or watch shadows play across cracked walls under the moonlight—it's delightfully disorienting yet undeniably grounded. This track will hum in your veins silently at first then crescendo loud enough to remember all roads lead somewhere especially when led by heartbeats set ablaze by folk-rooted fervor. Follow Jay Sprouse on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube.

[lovechoices]

Can I request jealous poppy x mc where she finds out ab what happened between her and ina

Falling Back Together | Poppy Min-Sinclair

| Summary: Poppy finds out about Bea and Ina (request)

warnings: light angst; light cursing

pairing: Poppy Min-Sinclair x Bea

word count: 2,651

A/N: So sorry that this took so long to post! I promise that in the future fics will be out sooner. Also, this is one of the first things I've written after not writing for a while, so I'm a little rusty. I hope you enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

Over the past few weeks, her and Bea had become unlikely friends. It started with just accidentally running into each other in the campus library. They steered clear of each other for the most part at the beginning, but then late one night, one of her heels broke as she was leaving.

She tripped, dropping all her books in the process. Bea being the “good girl” that she was, came over to help her. She even offered to let Poppy wear her shoes until she made it home. Of course, Poppy refused at first, but then the thought of walking barefoot all the way back to the Zeta house made her reconsider.

So, Bea walked her all the way home. Poppy was literally walking in her shoes while Bea was in socks. Her rival tried making small talk with her, but she wouldn’t budge, staying silent the whole way.

It wasn’t until they got back to Zeta house that she spoke. “As much as it pains me to say this. Thank you for letting me borrow your shoes” she said. Bea just laughed a little “You’re welcome. And just so you know, I’m not as bad as I seem once you get to know me”

Poppy doesn’t know why, but there was something in that laugh that made her take pause. Made her think that maybe there was more to this girl than met the eye. She couldn’t let Bea know that though. Could never let anyone know that she had misjudged. So instead, her pride had her spitting out “I highly doubt that” as she started making her way inside. “This was a one-time thing farmville. It’ll never happen again”

Except it did. Bea kept walking her back home. Every time trying to get a conversation going, much to Poppy’s annoyance. However, since they usually had these walks from the library so late at night with no one to see them, she tolerated it. She tolerated it every day until she noticed that she actually looked forward to their late-night walks.

She started engaging in conversation more. They started talking about classes at first but then the subject would change to what kind of music they liked, which books they loved. And Poppy loved every second of it.

The walks became their own little secret. Something that no one else knew about. It became an unspoken rule that they would act normal around the other students at Belvoire. Keeping their rivalry for top spot alive. Occasionally, they would text each other, but that was still something new.

Which is why it isn’t unusual for Poppy to start reaching for her phone to text the girl. That is, until she suddenly hears Bea’s voice, the sound stopping her movements.

She can tell someone is with her. She can hear the giggling and the shushing coming from just a few rows down. Poppy is holding a copy of the book that her walking buddy had so enthusiastically recommended.

 At first, she just thinks that Bea is with Zoey. Until she hears a different voice instead. “Come on Bea. This isn’t funny” It can’t be she thinks. Her mind races because there is no way that voice belongs to who she thinks it does.

Quietly, she makes her way over to the end of the row. Trying her best to sneak a peek from behind the bookshelves, she finds Bea on one of the couches, straddling none other than professor Kingsley. “I don’t think we need that book anymore, do you Ina?”

Ina? So, they are on a first name basis she thinks. Poppy watches as Bea and professor Kingsley play out their little punishment games. There’s an ache in her chest, one that she can’t quite place. All she knows is that she can’t stay here anymore. She needs to leave.

She starts making her way out until she realizes she’s still holding the book that Bea recommended. The cover for “Criers War” staring back at her. Poppy was a little excited when she first walked into Bindings, wanting to read the book they talked about. Looked forward to reading it and then talking about it with Bea on one of their walks but now… She wanted nothing to do with it. Leaving the book on a random shelf, she storms out and heads home.

Poppy feels like she might throw up and her heart is pounding a mile a minute. She’s never felt anything like this before. She can’t explain this feeling. It almost feels as if her heart is breaking. But it couldn’t be that. Could it?

She stops, replaying every encounter she’s had with Bea over the past couple of months. The way her insides would warm whenever Bea laughed, or the way she started to do anything just to see that smile form on her stupidly adorable face. How her guilt would dissipate after a reassuring glace from Bea’s blue eyes after she made a comment she feared went too far.

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment but, she had slowly fallen in love with the farmgirl. What a sick joke she thinks. The first time she ever truly falls in love and the girl is playing teacher’s pet. The image of Bea and professor Kingsley still burned fresh in her mind.

Tonight. She would give herself tonight to feel the full weight of the heartbreak. Then tomorrow, she would go right back to how things were before she fell.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost a month had passed since she saw Bea in the library with the professor. It was easy to fall back into the flow from before of hating Bea. Insulting her and bringing her down any chance that Poppy had.

At least, that’s what she wishes she could say. Wished it was easy to see the confusion on Bea’s face when Poppy no longer went to the library to study. Wished it was easy to see the hurt in Bea’s eyes as the insults Poppy threw at her hit closer and closer to home. Wished it was easy to see Bea and professor Kingsley interact so innocently with each other around campus, knowing that behind closed doors something else entirely was happening.

Wished that keeping her distance from Bea wasn’t one of the hardest things she’s had to do.

One night while trying to study for an upcoming exam, Poppy had to fight the urge to scream at her house mates more than once. Usually, she could handle the loud obnoxious noises that would seep into her room, able to block out whatever her sisters where doing. Tonight however, their loud chattering was getting on her last nerve.

Chloe ended up being the straw that broke the camels back as she came barreling into Poppy’s room. “Omg, you like totally have to check out this guy!” she said, shoving her phone in Poppy’s face. With a stern glare thrown her way, Chloe stepped back. “Chloe, sweetie” the annoyance laced Poppy’s voice like venom. “I truly could not care any less about whatever buffed up frat boy you’ve decided to obsess over this week.” She stood, collecting her things knowing that if she stayed, she wouldn’t be doing any studying. “So, excuse me while I go and get some actual work done” She passed Chloe, not giving her a second glace and missing the quiet “Sorry Poppy” that came from her.

She headed straight for the library, figuring that she would be able to get at least a few hours of studying done before it closed for the night. Approaching the library, she was grateful at how empty it was. She’d be lying if she said that a certain blonde didn’t pop into her head when she had made the decision to come to the library. She knew that there would be no way she could handle seeing Bea alone. She didn’t want to.

Especially not here. The library had become a place she held close to her heart. Somewhere she sought comfort, simply because she knew Bea would be there. But now. Now it was tainted with the memory of Bea and Professor Kingsley.

Her hand reached for the door, only hesitating for a second. She didn’t want to be here, but there was nowhere else she could think of to study. Pulling open the door, she tried clearing out all thoughts of Bea so she could get to work.

Poppy took only a few steps before she felt someone lightly grab her arm, stopping her from moving. Turning, she was met with the worried look of Bea’s face. “Hey, I’ve been calling out your name. Did you not hear me?”

No, she hadn’t. She was so worried about running to her, that Poppy hadn’t even realized that Bea was calling out her name. “Poppy?” she asked. Hearing her name come from Bea brought the pain she had been feeling to the forefront of her being, and she felt her senses becoming overwhelmed.

The lights in the library were too bright, the whispers of the few patrons around them seemed too loud. The warmth coming from Bea’s hand as it still held onto her felt like fire on her skin. She pulled away, needing to break the contact. “Don’t touch me” she spat out, moving to push pass Bea and leave the library. She could study another time. Right now, she needed to leave.

“Poppy wait” Bea followed her out. “Hey, I need to talk to you, wait”. She kept moving, not wanting to hear anything that Bea had to say. She just focused on getting back to Zeta house, on getting away from Bea.

She stopped short as Bea cut in front of her. “Poppy, talk to me. What’s wrong?” the pleading in her voice almost made Poppy break right there. She wanted to let lose all the emotions she had felt since seeing Bea and Kingsley, but she couldn’t let Bea see her like that. Couldn’t let her seem weak.

“Nothing’s wrong farmville. Just get out of my way” she tried to continue to the house, but Bea stopped her again. “No, not until you tell me what’s going on”. She wasn’t letting it go. Poppy pushed again. “Get out of my way Bea” but the girl stayed rooted to her spot in the same way a strong tree stays rooted in the midst of a storm. “Poppy talk to me. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now” Bea’s face softened. “I’ve missed you. Missed our walks”.

Missed her? Bea had missed her. Probably just as much as Poppy had missed her. A certain warmth made its way through Poppy, the thought that Bea had actually missed her made her feel wanted in a way she’d never known before. The feeling was short lived as flashes of Bea and Professor Kingsley flooded her memory. The coldness was back and Poppy couldn’t help the words that spilled from her. “Please, how could you possibly miss me? Seems you have been too busy with Ina to care”

She reveled in the cycle of emotions that crossed Bea’s face. Confusion, realization, fear, panic, hurt. Poppy drank it all in, as if Bea’s pain would be the only thing to remedy her own.

“You know?” she asked softly. Poppy scoffed “Know what? That you’ve been screwing one of the professors?” Bea flinched at the harshness of Poppy’s voice. “I’d be more careful when hooking up in the library.”

Bea finally looked away, her eyes falling to the floor. “Poppy, it’s not like that with Ina. We were just- “ Poppy cut her off. “I don’t really care what you and Ina do, just stay out of my way and we won’t have a problem” she tried leaving again, but Bea was right there to stop her. “But you do care. You wouldn’t be avoiding me if you didn’t”

You do care. The words spinning over and over in her head. You do care. You do care. She could feel the grip on her emotions slipping. She needed to leave, or get Bea to leave. “I could not care less about you” a lie of course, one that tasted bitter in her mouth.

“You don’t mean that” Bea tried her best not to look hurt, but Poppy could see it affected her. Still, Bea pushed on. “Poppy, I know you feel something between us, you can’t deny it” Her patience with Bea was running thin “Aw, did things not work out with Ina? Looking for a rebound? You won’t find it here”

That was it. That snapped Bea. “Are you kidding me Poppy!? You know you’re more than that to me!” The sudden outburst took her back and her eyes widened at Bea’s almost confession. “What I had with Ina was fun, but it wasn’t real” she grabbed Poppy’s hands in her own. “Not like this. Not like us.”

Poppy stood there frozen, unsure what to say. “Poppy the things I feel with you are so strong that sometimes it feels like I might explode. This past month that you’ve been avoiding me have been hell. I can feel your absence like a weight that’s pressing down on my chest and I, I” Bea hesitated. “Poppy” taking a deep breath her eyes met Poppy’s. “Poppy Min-Sinclair I think I might just be in love with you”

It took her a second to process just what Bea had said. Did I hear her right? Bea just admitted to loving her. Something Poppy had only dreamed about, something she hadn’t dared to even think to entertain but… but Bea is looking at her with so much love and conviction that all doubts and thoughts that what Bea just confessed might not be true faded. She could only imagine how she must look, because suddenly Bea’s face is worried. “Listen it’s ok if you don’t feel the same. We can just be friends, just please, please stop avoiding me I can’t handle it anymore” she rambles.

Poppy just stands there staring at her, still taking in everything. Bea shifts on her feet, the nerves getting the best of her. “Poppy say something please” she begs, and Poppy can think of nothing cuter. She gentle cups Bea’s face and leans in pressing their lips together.

Bea surrounds her, filling up every space and overwhelming every sense that Poppy has in the best possible way.

They finally pull away, resting their foreheads against each other, taking deep breaths. In this moment of just them, everything is peaceful. Everything feels just right in Poppy’s world. From the way their heads are pressed together, to how Bea’s hands fit in her own, to how they moved against each other during the kiss. As if they were simply made to fit together.

Bea breaks the silence first. “So, I guess this means you feel the same?” Poppy just softly laughed as she said “You’re so dumb”. Bea just shrugged, “Maybe, but at least I have you. I do have you right?” Poppy took a moment to really think about it. Feelings aside, she needed to make sure things with Ina really were over. “There may be a few things we should talk about more” she smiled. “But yes, you have me.”

Bea smiled before kissing her again, and Poppy was sure she wound never tire of the feeling. Once they parted, Bea gently squeezed her hand and said “Can I walk you home?” Poppy could think of nothing better. “I would love if you did” she said, feeling peace wash over her for the first time in a while.

The two of them walked along the same path to Zeta house, catching up on everything they had missed in the time apart. Poppy couldn’t help thinking how easy it was to fall right back into the comfortable conversations, and she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for them.

[void-imp]

Berkeley Adams for @buglaur​‘s Bachelor Challenge!

Berkeley has a secret; she’s afraid of humans. Oh, and she’s also an alien who was sent to this planet to conduct research on them.

Humans are confusing at best, disturbing at worst but she knows she needs to face her fear and conquer it if she ever wants to finish her thesis and go back home. When she saw Cathal and Cillian’s post she immediately knew this was the oppurtunity she’d been waiting for.

- Traits: Genius, Loner, Perfectionist

- Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

- Pronouns: She/her but only because her superiors told her so in her briefing.

- Sexuality: Unclear, she’s never felt attraction to a human being before and back home things are quite different. Open to anything though.

Berkeley Adams (her human alias) is a timid and quiet person. She’s still studying human behaviour but she’s gained enough knowledge to come across as “normal”. Too normal maybe. She blends into the background to the point you might forget she’s there.

She’s highly observant and has an eye for details. She remembers things other would never have taken note of which tends to weird people out. Always seeking out knowledge, she’s curious and determined.

She speaks in a monotone manner and isn’t very emotive. Seeing her smile or express any strong feelings is a rare occurence.

Books are her favorite human thing and she always keeps a copy of Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy with her. It’s her most precious belonging.

She might know how humans act but doesn’t know why and she wants to understand. She’s thoroughly researched what a bachelor challenge is, how it works, and she’s ready!

Random facts

- Finds human food interesting and will eat almost anything she’s served even if it’s questionable

- Hasn’t seen snow yet

- Enjoys playing games on her phone

- Doesn’t really get the concept of money and ended up splurging on FarmVille. Her superiors weren’t thrilled. Is careful with her spendings now

- Has to send a report back home at the end of every week

[literaphobe]

There is something to be said for patience and tradition. From the seeds to the sower, from the harvest to your own. You can be certain that only the finest fruit will become Kroger brand produce. Our fruits are fresh and convenient. Enjoy!

can we please talk about south park season 14 episode 4 ‘you have 0 friends’ in which kyle goes crying to stan for comfort when he loses friends on facebook and stan despite hating facebook is gentle and tries to comfort him and even though he gets pissed when all kyle asks for is for him to water his crops on farmville kyle gets on his knees sobbing and begging him to help him anyway and stan does it because he can’t really say no to kyle and how in south park season 11 episode 5 stan gets into a life threatening easter cult situation where he has to protect the life of a secret bunny and the first place he goes is running to kyle begging him to help him to save him and they take care of the bunny together because it’s always both of them against the world…

[theworlds-stage]

Honestly, I get so annoyed whenever someone suggests that wwx’s death and the destruction of the Wen Remnants was inevitable, because the world saw him as a huge villain (im looking mostly at jgy), because we literally have evidence against it? 

Lets look at it from the POV of the sect leaders and their people. Here we have a situation when a guy who’s technically a nobody, though he has always been surprisingly talented despite his birth (I mean he was fourth on the list and I doubt the list was somehow a secret from the adults) starts to lose it. Nobody knows what’s going on, except that he had helped tremendously to win the war against Wen Rouhan and that that he has stopped showing his respect by not carrying his sword, that there are talks about his misbehaviour when with other sect leaders. Basically a picture of someone who’s a big unknown and can be dangerous.  (oh and... yeah he can raise corpses, use resentful energy and has this tiny, shiny, pretty thingy THAT CAN FUCKING WRECK CHAOS).

Then that same someone forces his way into a banquet, talks uncomfortable truths that perhaps no one really wants to acknowledge and proceeds to rescue a bunch of people who officially are the last of the Wen cultivators. He takes them away from their prison and goes off to the most cursed place in their known world. The simple conclusion, the one that we know has been circulating in the actual story, is that Wei Wuxian is actually trying a create his own army of Wen cultivators. And if we decide to believe for a second, that only the Jins knew the truth about the Wen Remnants then perhaps it is possible to see why the world in general would come to such conclusion. 

However, if we go by this line of thought (the world didn’t know that the Wens were just a bunch of farmers and elderly and AYUAN) then it makes no sense that they wouldn’t immediately rush after him with their own armies (and remember that it’s not taking place right after the war but some time has already passed - like we know that the Jiang Sect at least is already back on it’s feet and surely the others re too). In any real situation the threatened side would react to make sure that the threat doesn’t grow. In fact, attacking immediately after Wei Wuxian rescued the Wens would have been the most logical. The prisoners, even if treated fairly, would have been weaker (surely far from their peak as cultivators), Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have enough time to get their full loyalty, they wouldn’t have enough time to set any traps or defences. Attacking IMMEDIATELY would have been the correct action if the world truly thought Wei Wuxian was evil and was trying to create an army that could destroy them. 

What happens instead? He gets to play FarmVille for at least a year (he meets LWJ after a few months, learns that JYL and JZXan are to be married in a week, JYL’s pregnancy takes place and JL is 1 month old when WWX gets ambushed) and literally no one bothers him. There are no minor attacks, there are no attempts at assassination, in fact, people start going around claiming that they are YLLZ’s disciples and no one shows up. 

Which to me is another pretty fucking huge proof that the world at large knew there was no such threat. I’m not talking commoners, but I’m not willing to believe that everyone trusted JGS, yes, they might have feared him, some might have respected him as their superior, but you won’t have me believe that Jin Zixun was the only idiot who would have decided to take matters into his own hands knowing that WWX could obliterate them all. 

TL:DR - WWX was the scape goat of everyone who had any sort of power in MDZS and the fact that the plot doesn’t take place in a little under a week is a FUCKING proof. 

[the-hinky-panda]

Comfy Things Tag Game

Comfy Things Tag Game 💕

Thanks for the tag @drabbles-mc

Comfort Food: Fried chicken and mashed potatoes

Comfort Movie: The Greatest Showman or The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Comfort Clothing: leggings and my Marvel t-shirt

Comfort Song: Shut Up and Dance with Me by Walk the Moon

Comfort Reading: Yeah...fan fic. 

Comfort Game: Sims or Farmville 

Comfort Drink: I don’t know if this a drink per say but beef bone broth. 

tagging: Anyone who wants to play! :-) 

[albino-whumpee]

Tell me one embarassing secret each of your characters have? 👀

Man, I was thinking about it so hard.

Sann: He was so weepy when he was a little kid. He would cry at anything. Cute dog? Cry. Cool movie moment? Cry. Made a friend? Happy cry. He kinda switched to laughing real hard when he grew up. 😂

Albus: Because he saw ghosts and talked to them as if they were normal people, I think the times where he was caught talking to air the first times quickly became an embarrassing memory. So he has a lot of pictures of random places in his tablet, because he wants to make sure the person he’s seeing is actually alive. But plays it off as “drawing reference”

Zarai: She was a pretty active member of fandom in her teens and young adult years. She was like this SJW battling trolls and people on forums for whatever reason. Because she dug too much into forums, she found…disturbing stuff. Then, she just stopped involving herself in conversations, but she does have a private rant document in her laptop.

Robert: he would be the guy who spent like 50k in FarmVille because it had to be perfect. He even had excel sheets and everything. He woke up at 2 am to farm his strawberries and then again at 4 for his carrots. He did all that as a routine before he got bored and just dropped the game forever.

Claude: He likes his “duckling” nickname. He is a big guy, so feeling small actually soothes him. That “feeling small” thing is something Zarai likes to use. A. Lot. He loves it and her for that so much. Even when it’s only to tease.

[obey-mc]

what are some random headcannons that you have for the om! brothers? (or undateables too if u wanna add them) i really like the way you write💞💞💞

hajhsdjhjh omg thank you sm <3 <3 <3

»————-　★　————-«

Random Headcanons!

warnings: normal amount of swearing for me, but that’s all!!

┍━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━┑

𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓻:

He’s secretly an adrenaline junkie and loves roller coasters!

The feeling of the wind in his hair and the ground so far away from his feet makes him feel like he’s flying.

On the contrary, however, he detests caves and subways with a passion because they remind him too much of being trapped in the Devildom after they first fell

𝕸𝖆𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓:

He once roasted marshmellows on his horns (charging people, of course)

Kinda sucks at ice skating, but can roller skate circles around anyone!

While his palms are calloused, the tips of his fingers are like. Baby soft.

(It makes it easier to pickpocket)

𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓:

Plays Farmville and will take that secret to his grave

If he accidentally knocks something over with his tail, he’ll laugh and whisper “Leviathan used Tail Whip!” and based on what happened when the item fell determines whether or not it was effective

Once played Until Dawn and killed Ashley because he thought she was annoying.

𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖆𝖓:

He keeps a small stash of those really cheesy romance manga in his room but he will never tell anyone where.

He loves cats, and we know that, but you know what else he likes?

Axolotls

You ever seen them? They’re Babey.

𝕬𝖘𝖒𝖔𝖉𝖊𝖚𝖘:

Owns a pajama set with a crop top and booty shorts. The top says “You are not immune to propaganda”

Guess what the shorts say.

Yep.

They say “Propaganda” on the ass.

Dyed his hair green once and no one recognized him. For the entire time it took to wear out.

You know that story about Ashmedai and Solomon, and how Ashmedai straight up yeeted Solomon the equivalent of like. 1000 miles and then shapeshifted and took his place for a week?

Yeah that was him.

𝕭𝖊𝖊𝖑𝖟𝖊𝖇𝖚𝖇:

Once accidentally ate a treat for Cerberus.

He liked it.

You know how dragonflies can fly backwards?

Whenever he wants a quick out he just. Fingerguns and flies right out.

𝕭𝖊𝖑𝖕𝖍𝖊𝖌𝖔𝖗:

If he gets excited to the point of can’t-contain-himself, his tail wags like an excited puppy.

Once got his horns stuck with Beelzebub’s when they were sleeping.

It happened again because he butted heads (literally) with Lucifer.

Has shredded no less than four pillows this way.

𝕯𝖎𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖑𝖔:

He’s actually well-versed in vines because of studying the human world but refuses to admit it

He prefers misquoting them and making MC suffer

He can shuffle dance like no one’s business, though

Once dropkicked a demon.

Like.

Just because.

𝕭𝖆𝖗𝖇𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖘:

He once saw an alternate universe in which they were all in a video game, and people in the human world all over knew them.

How crazy is that, right?

No but for real he saw a universe where everything was switched, and he’s pretty sure that universe’s Barbatos would’ve fought God on sight.

𝕾𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓:

You’d think. You would think that because he’s an angel, they can’t sin, right?

Well.

The loopholes on that are apparently very thin.

When Luke isn’t around he regularly swears, minus the fuck word.

Tried to censor himself because Luke walked in and promptly said “fuck.”

Like it came out so fast.

He just. Left. For three hours after that.

𝕷𝖚𝖐𝖊:

He might be an angel but he’s still a sassy child

Solomon asked him once if anyone can cook, the night they had their first dinner fiasco.

Luke said, verbatim: “Yes, anyone can cook.”

Cue Solomon failing miserably, and Simeon looking at at Luke.

“I thought you said anyone can cook.”

“I did. I just didn’t mention that not everyone can cook well.”.

He hates praying mantises for no reason. He just thinks they’re creepy.

𝕾𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖒𝖔𝖓:

Solomon took one look at Lucifer and Diavolo one day and mumbled “two bros~”

And then laughed so hard he choked on his spit and took three minutes to recover.

He thinks he’s the funniest motherfucker

Laughs like a dying hyena

┕━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━┙

[groggiie]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bee Movie quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All

right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for

that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label

on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so

difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer,

have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta

weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke

machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the

last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble.

We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen,

everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that. Special thanks to SergeiK.

oph my god

[sebastianshaw]

New headcanon that on the downlow Shaw plays a ridiculous computer game. Something to do with making money and building an empire. Probably Farmville with Jean.

FARMVILLE WITH JEAN OMG THE MOST SECRET OF ALLIANCES!!!