#farewell again for the next 10 months

[sinni-ok-sessi]

love 2 not create anything for ~10 months and then emerge from my swamp with a combined 4k of translation and fic in the same evening

a sure sign that things are functioning normally at Casa Sinni

[tendaysofrain]

“Three Poems for the End of the Year” (歲晚三首) Translation

(Happy Spring Festival/Lunar New Year/Chinese New Year to all!  I thought this series of poems was a good introduction for certain traditions and customs surrounding the festival, so here they are, please enjoy!)

Three Poems for the End of the Year

By Su Shi (Song dynasty, 1062 AD, 11th century)

Exchanging gifts at the end of the year is called “gifting the year” (1); inviting others to feast together is called “sending off the year” (2); keeping vigil through the night of the eve is called “watching over the year” (3).  Such are the customs in Shu (4) (5).  Since I am now a government official in Qixia (6) and cannot return home at the end of the year, I am writing these three poems here for Ziyou (7).

Gifting the Year (1)

Each household’s harvest is now done, which will aid in the yearly event (8).

Worried about missing out on the festivities, people exchange presents freely.

The contents vary according to their place of origin, the poor gives little while the rich gives plenty.

An enormous carp lays across the plate, within the cage rests a pair of rabbits.

The wealthy displays extravagance, their embroidered silks glowing in lustrous hues.

The poor cannot afford the luxury, and opted for small gifts of pastries.

The official residence doesn’t have familiar faces, while the celebrations continued in the alleys.

I wish to celebrate with the customs of my hometown, yet there's nobody who will join me.

Sending Off the Year (2)

Faraway lives my old friend, reluctantly do we part.

Though people can return to visit, the years never will.

Where have the years gone?  To the ends of the earth.

Off chasing the east-flowing waters (9), and into the timeless seas.

The neighbor to the east has the well-aged wine, and the neighbor to the west owns the fattened pig.

All for a day’s festivity, to compensate for the melancholy of the ending old year.

But never be consumed while mourning this loss, lest you forgo the fresh new year.

If one looks back while moving forward, old age and infirmity shall catch up.

Watching Over the Year (3)

The year shall soon end, a long snake swimming towards the gloomy depths.

Its slender scales already half out of view, who can hide its intention to leave?

And if one wishes to tie up its tail, though diligent this is still in vain.

Trying their best to fight off sleep, children play merrily into the night.

Wishing the morning rooster won’t crow, my anxiety grows amid the urging of the geng drums (10) (11).

Sitting through the night whilst petals of ash drifts from the lamp (12), the Big Dipper already askew when I stand up.

Will the New Year be absent next year?  I fear what’s on my mind will be delayed again.

The youth who can cherish this singular night, their will and spirit are praiseworthy indeed.

—————————-

Notes:

“Gifting the Year”/饋歲/馈岁:  refers to the custom of exchanging gifts at the end of the year.

“Sending Off the Year”/別歲/别岁:  refers to the custom of feasting on the 29th day of the Twelfth month in order to “bid farewell to the old year”.

“Watching Over the Year”/守歲/守岁:  refers to the custom of staying up through the entire night of the eve and the early hours of the first day of the new year; lamps and candles are also kept on or lit through the night so the light can rid the residence of all evil, pestilence, and illness in preparation for the new year.

Shu/蜀:  name of a region; the archaic name of the region known today as Sichuan/四川.

The first two sentences in Su Shi’s introduction here are a direct reference to the records of New Year’s customs from the Jin dynasty (266 - 420 AD) book 《風土記》 by Zhou Chu/周處/周处.  In fact, Su Shi’s description here is a paraphrase of the same information in 《風土記》:  ”蜀之風俗，晚歲相與餽問，謂之餽歲。酒食相邀為別歲。至除夕，達旦不眠，謂之守歲”.

Qixia/岐下:  refers to the foot of the Qishan/岐山 mountain in Shaanxi province/陕西省 today.

Ziyou/子由:  courtesy name of Su Shi’s younger brother Su Zhe/蘇轍, the recipient of this letter.

Yearly event/歲事:  implies the New Year’s festival, colloquially called “passing the year” (Guonian/過年/过年 or Dusui/度歲/度岁) or “yearly festival” (Nianjie/年節/年节), now known more widely as “Spring Festival”/春节 (this name came about in 1914 from an official document), “Lunar New Year”/农历新年, or “Chinese New Year”.

East-flowing waters:  a common Chinese literary motif that refers to the passage of time; this is because both Yangzi River and Yellow River flow eastwards.

Geng drum:  a drum carried by night watchers, called Gengfu/更夫; gengfu will sound the drum every Shichen/時辰/时辰 (1 shichen = 2 hours) during the night while he is patrolling the streets and on the look out for potential dangers like fires or robbers.

It should be noted that in the old times, age is calculated as “1 year old” at birth, and increases by 1 every New Year’s festival (the resulting age number from this traditional age calculation method is now called Xusui/虛歲/虚岁).  This is reflected in the character sui/歲/岁, which means both “age” and “year”.  This also means that in the old times, everyone has a birthdate, but there are no annual “birthdays”.  Now we can understand Su Shi’s anxiety while waiting for the old year to end:  he will be considered “1 year older” after the eve ends, which reminds him that he’s aging.

Petals of ash:  refers to the ash left by the burning candle wick.

—————————-

Original Text (Traditional Chinese):

《 歲晚三首 》

[宋]  蘇軾

歲晚相與餽問為“餽歲”；酒食相邀呼為“別歲”；至除夜達旦不眠為“守歲”。蜀之風俗如是。餘官於岐下，歲暮思歸而不可得，故為此三詩以寄子由。

《 饋歲 》

農功各已收，歲事得相佐。

為歡恐無及，假物不論貨。

山川隨出產，貧富稱小大。

置盤巨鯉橫，發籠雙兔卧。

富人事華靡，彩繡光翻座。

貧者愧不能，微摯出舂磨。

官居故人少，里巷佳節過。

亦欲舉鄉風，獨唱無人和。

《 別歲 》

故人適千里，臨別尚遲遲。

人行猶可復，歲行那可追。

問歲安所之？遠在天一涯。

已逐東流水，赴海歸無時。

東鄰酒初熟，西舍彘亦肥。

且為一日歡，慰此窮年悲。

勿嗟舊歲別，行與新歲辭。

去去勿回顧，還君老與衰。

《 守歲 》

欲知垂盡歲，有似赴壑蛇。

修鱗半已沒，去意誰能���。

況欲系其尾，雖勤知奈何。

兒童強不睡，相守夜歡譁。

晨雞且勿鳴，更鼓畏添撾。

坐久燈燼落，起看北斗斜。

明年豈無年，心事恐蹉跎。

努力盡今夕，少年猶可誇。

[stephiethewephie]

We Certainly Aren't in the Hundred Acre Woods Anymore: Chapter 1

I JUST PUBLISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY FIRST AO3 FIC LETS GO!!! After writing, rewriting, and revising this for MONTHS, the first chapter of Piper Finch's Twisted Wonderland Story is now of AO3 for everyone's enjoyment! Here is a quick sneak peek at the first few parts. If you are interested after reading it, please consider going to the link below to read the rest of the chapter!

Here we see Piper Finch as she spends her last moments of summer in the woods behind her house.

With her, some of her best friends in the whole world: An owl, a donkey, a piglet, a rabbit, a tigger, a kanga and roo, and, most of all, a pooh bear which she had since she was a wee babe. All her friends were plush and stuffed with fluff (in the donkey's case, sawdust), but to her, they were just as friends as those of flesh and blood.

All of them were sitting around a picnic table, which has been dressed in a white table cloth. Plastic silverware, dishes, napkins, and cups surrounded the sides of the table. A cake was placed in the middle of the table, infused with honey, with a pitcher of honey lemonade which stood beside it. Honey flavored frosting adorned the top of the cake with writing that said, "Happy Last Year of Boarding School!"

Piper got up from her seat to slice the cake. She gave a slice of cake as well as poured a drink to each of her friend, who were dressed with party hats and white bibs, before serving herself. She herself was also dressed in a white bib and party hat, plus a pretty blue sundress. She raised a glass before giving a speech.

"My dearest friends," she started. "It has been a great pleasure to have you by my side again for this, our last summer break, together. For I may be gone, have joy that this is my last time away. While adulthood and university will be within my grasps, and with that comes the fact that we may need to... say goodbye to these woods for a while longer..." She lowered her glass as if to mourn the loss of a loved one before continuing. "Know that when that time comes, you shall be with me on my journeys. Till then, let us enjoy this final get together, before the one that will be forever. And I will wish you farewell! Cheers!"

She took a sip of her glass before sitting back down at her place on the bench. She began to eat her slice of cake. But, before she could swallow her next bite, she heard a voice in the distance shout her name. The surprise caused her to choke on the piece of cake she had in her mouth. She pounded her chest with her fist to get it out before looking at the direction of the voice.

"Piper!" The voice yelled again, upon glace she saw her mother walking angrily towards her. She wore a beekeeper suit and still had a few bees swarming her. "I kept trying to call you! We leave for boarding school in 10 minutes!"

READ THE REST ON AO3:

I Hope you enjoy it and have fantastic days ahead!

[arabian-batboy]

Okay I only quickly skimmed through the issues, so please tell me if I missed anything, but what exactly was the point of TD:R again? Like nothing significant whatsoever have happened in it and aside from Tim now living in a boat in Gotham Marina (which I wouldn’t be surprised if it was forgotten about by the very next writer) I don’t think anything introduced in this comic is going to be brought up again?

I’m just saying this because Williamson revealed that Damian finally returning to Gotham in B&R 2023 was always planed to happen before his solo was canceled, so now I’m wondering why exactly did DC think it was super important to squeeze a short Robin solo for Tim during that 10 months gap between Robin 2021 and B&R 2023 where Damian didn’t have anything going on? It honestly came off as DC just wanting to capitalize on Tim’s popularity post-coming out (ironically it ended up being the lowest selling Bat-book and reaching No.198 on DC’s top 200 best selling books)

Now I could understand it if it was a “farewell” comic about Tim FINALLY leaving the Robin role behind for good and getting a brand new superhero identity, which as all of you know by now, literally didn’t happen (even though Fitzmartin teased that idea over and over and over......and over again). TD:R was just a regular boring Bat-related comic with nothing special about it, so why exactly did it need to happen? For me it just feels like DC is trying to play with the concept of having Tim and Damian “taking shifts” when it comes to being Robin, so whenever Damian doesn’t have any books out, then they need to immediately give Tim some Robin stories that will go on until the next time Damian is going to receive a new comic.

[hotarutranslations]

Also There Is An Album Announcement!

Evening

Streamed today, Harami-chan no Haramifan Radio♪

Ishida Ayumi and Sakurai Rio, Visited as guests🤍

We'll be visiting this time and on next weeks stream too! Happy

Have you already listened to it.. Its amazingggg.. I was actually really shouting about this, Within the radio show, I got to sing, Alongside Harami-chan's live piano playing..😭😭

Eeehhhhh man, it was so cool..

Although I was singing, I was thinking, Nah, I'd like to just hear the piano, Really, thank you very much

You can express so much with just the piano..! I was really, really, moved so, Everyone please definitely listen to it😭🫶🏻

74th Single Commemorative Release Mini Live & Farewell Meet

It was today Thank you very much

.💿💿✨️

Yesterday and today, We've continuously been #1 on the Oricon for 2 days🏅 Thank you very much, for that!

The event was really over in the blink of an eye, Thank you very much enjoying it☝🏻☝🏻

Speaking of, during the event, Like, talking about the single… We didn't do that in particular but ⚠️lol

Magazine, Shows and Radio, We've spoken with varous medias so, (Further, we talked about it on Harami-chan Radio) Please search and look for them!

Nanadaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta..

SaiKIYOU..

Its interesting how the color is so different in one piece, Everyone who got their hands on the 74th single, Again, really, thank you🤍

Its the day after the single release but..

There was a big announcement today🌻

In the autumn, it was decided we'll release an album

This album finally, will be Ishida's last work💿💿✨️

Its an album so there will be lots of new songs, right, There are many songs that I can call my last work, I can imagine it even more~🤍

I'm really, looking forward to it🤍

The release of yesterdays single, We didn't say anything special with the release of it, I thought about it a lot in my own way

When I was writing the Tokyo Sports note Series, I may have whispered about it here and there~

I wonder if its difficult to be open about it~

Its not just that I couldn't give the announcement, There were many who didn't know it was being produced in the first place, There wasn't much to chew on either like, this is my..

Saying, its the first single of the 13 member system! I felt like that fit these songs that were aggressive,🔥 That's really the truth,

I was surprised to see myself on the thumbnail, of the Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta.. MV, Partly because I had no intention of it being that way🙃🙃

I thought, huh~? Its like that~? lol

When asked about it suddenly, I couldn't really speak about it well with words like "last single", I ended up unintentionally using it, …There may be more like this in the future😕����

Eeh, its like, I'm saving "last" for the album? I wonder if that's how I was feeling? I don't really get it myself?

I conveyed this with my graduation announcement as well but, Everything related to the graduation, will my last first experience of it so,

Its a problem, although I'm thankful😂😂 lol

There is a lot moving around in my heart, Isn't it becoming autumn, I'm excited🤤

Its less than a month until our first day of the autumn tour

Lets definitely have a fun autumn together😌🤍

Play▶️List

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺Otoboke POPS

TokyoMX August 17th (Sat) 9:30~10:00PM Ishida, Sakurai, Yumigeta are appearing💙🤎❤️

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko" Ishida Ayumi Goes~! I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

🪩Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US "Vega" "Altair" From July 13th~September 1st Traveling To 7 Cities Nationwide All Hello! Project groups are performing🔥

⚾️Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagi August 30th (Fri) Orix Match I will be making the ceremonial pitch

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

Can I ask this!

With singles and albums, What is the mindset, how is it different, I'd like to know if you can put it in writing🙊🙊

see you ayumin <3

[stories-of-the-nrm]

The RWS 75th Anniversary - All 4 Nothing

(Fade into Knapford Station where Gordon is waiting for his express coaches).

Narrator: The next morning after Henry told his story, Gordon woke up after having a terrible night's sleep. He wondered whether or not he should tell the other engines about his past.

(Phillip finishes shunting Gordon's coaches and rolls onto the empty line next to Gordon).

Phillip(excitedly): Alright, Gordon! I finished shunting your coaches!

Gordon(doing his best to turn his head towards Phillip): Oh, thank you, Phillip. You finished rather early.

Phillip: I know you like to start your journey on time Gordon, so I got your coaches together earlier than usual!

Gordon: Since I have a few minutes before my departure time, I wanted to ask you a question. Will I be able to tell you right now?

Phillip: Of course you can, Gordon!

Gordon: Do you remember when my brother, The Flying Scotsman, helped take my express coaches after I had that unfortunate incident at the first Railway Show we participated in?

Phillip: I do. He helped save me after that bully tried to attack me! We had a farewell party and everything when he went to America! Why do you ask, Gordon?

Gordon: There is something that I wanted to share with the other engines about myself and my brother later tonight, and I wanted to know if you wanted to know too?

Phillip: You mean you want to tell us a story! I'd love to hear it.

(The stationmaster blows his whistle while Gordon starts to pull his coaches out of the station).

Gordon: I will be at Tidmouth Sheds later tonight if you are able to make it.

Phillip: Of course I'll be there, I wouldn't want to miss it for the world!

(Gordon leaves with his coaches and starts his journey on the main line).

Narrator: After leaving Knapford Station, Gordon pulled his express coaches all over his journey on the main line. He was still thinking about what to tell the other engines. He was so distracted by his thoughts, that he didn't realize that he made his way all the down to Vicarstown.

(Gordon stops at Vicarstown Station when he sees the Flying Scotsman pull in).

Scott: Hello, brother. I'm pleased to have been able to see again.

Gordon(gasps): Scott! You look wonderful!

(He shifts into his human form, as does Scott. Scott now looks much heavier as his entire body is now covered in a layer of fat. They walk towards each other on the platform).

Gordon: Why Scotsman. I haven't seen you in years. What happened to you? I know you have been very busy but why didn't you answer my letters? The last one I received from you, you were getting ready for a trip to Australia. How did it go? What have you been doing all this time since -

(Gordon gets cut off as Scott hugs him).

Scott(trying not to cry): It has been a long time hasn't it brother. (He pulls away). I'm so sorry that I have not been answering your letters. It is a long story, but the easiest part of the story is that I have been in an overhaul for the past 10 years. It wasn't until a few months ago that I was able to start pulling trains again. I know that's why I look a bit different since you last saw me. In fact, I'm sorry to say that I'm no longer an A1, but an A3. I'm not fit to be your brother anymore.

(He starts to look sad causing Gordon to pull him in for another hug).

Gordon: It doesn't matter if you're an A1 or an A3. You are still my little brother. I am not upset, I was just concerned about you. I know that you have been through some tough times since I last saw you back in 1977 where you told me that you needed repairs. Ever since I found out about you being stuck in America and rumors that might have been scrapped, I was so worried about your tours. When I sent you a letter after you told me about your upcoming trip to Australia and never received a response... well... I thought that you were in some sort of trouble.

Scott: I'm sorry about causing you to worry dear brother. I'm sorry about not writing back, I'm sorry about not even being able to tell that I'm alright, and...

(Scott begins to weep while Gordon tries to comfort him. He looks up at the clock then turns to Scott).

Gordon(calmly and quietly): Listen, Scott. There are a lot of people in the station. I have some time before my next train. Come on inside the station building where we can have more privacy.

(Scott begins to collect himself as he lets go of Gordon and follows him inside the station building).

Narrator: After Gordon was able to get Scott inside, he led Scott to a set of benches where they can sit down and talk.

Gordon: So brother, I know you are troubled by something can you tell me what's wrong?

Scott(trying to keep calm): It's just the pressures of trying to prove my usefulness after several decades. I have been trying to cope with going around owner to owner in order to avoid being scrapped. (He takes a breath). This has been going on since my fiasco in America back in the 1970s. Alan Pegler, William McAlpine, Dr. Tony Marchington, and the National Railway Museum have all had their turns buying me and fixing me up only to lose money and go bankrupt. Fortunately, the NRM hasn't gone bankrupt by my 10 year overhaul, but it still cost them more money than it should have. I guess in a way, that's why I didn't respond to your letters. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you my problems because I didn't want you to worry.

(He starts to cry again as Gordon moves closer to him).

Gordon: You are my little brother. It's my job to worry about you.

Scott: But not like this. You shouldn't have to worry about whether or not I'm going to survive another year. You shouldn't have to worry about my owner running out of money trying to take care of me.

Gordon: But you shouldn't have to go through this alone, Scott. You need to talk to someone about this. Keeping it to yourself like this is only going to make you sick. In fact, I can recall the time you were getting ready for your first train. You were so nervous that I honestly thought you were going to give yourself boiler ache.

Scott(calming down): Oh yes, I remember. I was trying so hard trying to pass all of my tests because I saw how you make pulling any passenger train look so easy. I wanted to prove to Sir Nigel Gresley that I was just as good as you were. I also wanted you to be proud of me.

Gordon(shocked): You never told me that.

Scott: And you never told me that you were proud of me so even though I know you're my brother, I thought that you didn't care about how I felt!

Gordon: That's not true. Yes, we had our differences, but you are still my brother. I cared about you when you pulled your first train, I cared about you when you beat the speed record, and I still cared about you during WWII when you had to pull passenger trains day in and day out not knowing when another blitz would come. I have always cared about you!

Scott: Why didn't you tell me that?!

(Gordon pauses trying to think of why).

Gordon: Because I was foolish. I was foolish for allowing myself to become blinded with jealousy. I had always believed that you were trying to prove that you were better than me, so I would choose to ignore you out of spite.

Scott: Why?! What have I done to make you feel this way?

(Gordon looks at the clock in the station and realizes that he needs to leave for his next train).

Gordon: I'm very sorry, Scott. I have to leave for my next train and this is something that I need more time to explain. I don't want to leave you alone feeling like you did something, so I can only say right now that (he takes hold of Scotts hands) this isn't your fault. None of my ill will towards you was your fault. If you are able to stay on Sodor for the night, I will explain everything at Tidmouth Sheds. Is that enough of an explanation for right now?

Scott: I suppose it will have to do. Good luck on your return journey, big brother.

(Gordon gets up to leave and lets go of Scott's hands. He turns to Scott).

Gordon: Thank you, Scott. I hope you a safe journey as well.

Scott: Thank you, Gordon and you're welcome.

(Gordon goes out to his engine and returns to his engine form so he can leave for the return journey home).

Narrator: Gordon was very distracted throughout the journey. He knew that he had to tell the other engines including Scott about his past in order to move on.

(Gordon arrives at Tidmouth Sheds. All of the other engines including Phillip and Scott are there waiting for him).

Edward: Hello, Gordon. You look concerned about something. Is there something wrong?

(Gordon takes a breath).

Gordon: There's a reason why I asked Scott and Phillip to come to Tidmouth sheds. There is something that I should have told you a long time ago.

Phillip: Was it about what you told me about the Flying Scotsman, Gordon?

Gordon: Yes, Phillip. It is.

Scott: What is he talking about, Gordon?

Gordon: I asked Phillip if he remembered you from the Great Railway Show. I wanted to talk to the other engines about my past since Edward, and Henry shared theirs. Since you are here too Scott, I know now that I really should tell everyone how I really feel.

Scott: Are you going to tell the truth about everything, brother?

Gordon: Yes. I understand now that after everything that has happened between us, you deserve to know the truth. Therefore, I feel like it's best that I start at the beginning with my background.

Edward: Your background, Gordon?

Gordon: Yes, Edward. You see in order to truly understand my history and why I have made the choices I made, it's important that I share what happened when I was made.

Scott: Gordon, we all know that you were made by Sir Nigel Gresley as the prototype of the A1. If it wasn't for you being a success, I wouldn't have been made.

Gordon: Scott that's not entirely true. There was another engine that was made from stolen plans of the prototype of the A1. That engine is Henry.

Henry: It's true, Scott. I was made out of a series of stolen plans. Not just the A1 prototype, but the C1 Atlantic as well. But since I was made out of plans that were incomplete, I wasn't a successful steamer.

Gordon: So you see Scott, I was actually the second prototype made out of fully completed plans.

Scott: I don't understand.

Gordon: When the plans for the A1 prototype were stolen, my production was stopped as Sir Nigel Gresley had to redo the plans from scratch. I was originally supposed to be built in 1919, however because of the delays in production, I wasn't completed until 1921. This negatively affected Sir Nigel's finances causing him to put pressure on me to become a success.

Scott: But, you were a success, otherwise I wouldn't have been made, right?

Gordon: That is where you come in Scott. Starting with Great Northern, Sir Nigel Gresley began to make A1s in the hopes that one of them breaks the speed record by going over 100 mph. He believed that if at least one of his A1s broke the speed record, it will increase his public image and his business.

Henry: I thought you were capable of going 100 mph.

Gordon: Actually Henry, I have never gone over 100 mph except for when I was streamlined. We all know how well that went.

Thomas: So how did you end up on Sodor? If you had to do all of this work to make Sir Nigel Gresley's money back, why would he sell you?

Gordon: With the A1's production going as planned, I was no longer needed. As you know, Sir Topham Hatt needed an express engine so he was willing to pay for me. I was made his No. 4 engine of the NWR. I had worked very hard to make sure that all of the money spent on buying me wouldn't be all for nothing. However, even after I established myself as an important part of the island, I still wanted to beat the speed record. I was so jealous, that I felt like I had to beat Scott.

Scott: Why would you be so jealous of me, when I wasn't even the first A1? I know I was the one that broke the speed record, but records are just records. After everything that happened to me, I honestly couldn't care less about it. And besides, I don't even hold the record anymore, remember? Our cousin, Mallard does.

Gordon: I know. Sir Nigel Gresley wouldn't stop talking you up while bringing me down in the process. Seeing how I was on shaky ground with Sir Nigel Gresley, knowing that my own brother did the one thing I was originally built for but better, therefore undermining the purpose of my existence, it hurt. I was so blinded my feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, that I displaced those feelings on you, Scott. I am very sorry.

Scott: I understand that much, Gordon. I still don't understand why I was met with such a cold shoulder every time we met. Why were you so unable to let go of your ill will towards me, when I haven't done anything? If it turns out that I did do something wrong, then just tell me.

(He starts to tear up).

Gordon: The only thing you did Scott, was that you showed how proud you were of your accomplishment. That is something which isn't your fault. You did not ask to beat the record, and seeing how you said you just wanted to make me proud, you couldn't help but to boast. As brothers, it is only natural that a friendly rivalry would arise. I had simply let my emotions fester until it grew to a level that I would consider hatred. I know that if I was that upset by your boasts, I should have just told you, but instead, I tried to just beat you in anyway I could.

Scott: Enough that you were willing to risk your life on such frivolous race?

Gordon(looking down): Yes. I just couldn't let it go. I knew about the modernization process, but I didn't understand just how much it affected you. When I saw you again at Vicarstown, it only brought up those bad memories of Sir Nigel Gresley berating me with questions of why I wasn't as reliable as you. I had associated Sir Nigel Gresley's insults with you Scott. I had mistakenly believed that you yourself made those comments.

Scott: But, I didn't make those comments!

Gordon: I know, that's why I can't believe that I almost destroyed the one relationship I need more than anything now! I'm sorry that I wrongfully hurt you, Scott and I ...

(Gordon starts to cry and shifts into his human form. Scott does the same and runs towards, Gordon's cab).

Scott: It's like what I said back at the Great Railway Show, "We've both made some mistakes". I remember how you told me about Sir Nigel Gresley, but I didn't understand just how terrible he made you feel. I feel worse about not being able to contact you after all these years. I want to be your brother again. I have had a lot of hardships myself. I let my fame go to my head so to speak. I had found out that I am not as well liked as I thought. In fact, you are not the only one to be jealous about my speed record.

Gordon: Who wouldn't be a little jealous about your record?

Scott: Surprisingly, it was our own dear cousin, Mallard, that made me realize just how extreme my record has put me above other engines. In fact, while I was at the NRM, not a day went by that Mallard didn't remind me of how much he hated me. Even though, he had broken the speed record, he still feels that I had overshadowed him. I think there was a feeling that I had taken the place of another engine. I have tried to talk to him, but I haven't been successful in my attempts. So, I can understand how you would feel, but I don't know why? Why was I chosen to be this famous?

(Gordon calms down, but now Scott begins to cry).

Gordon: You couldn't have known, no one could have known that you would break the speed record. You were just lucky.

Scott: I know, that's what everyone said about me. Maybe, I was better off scrapped.

Gordon: Don't say that! (He hugs Scott). You didn't ask to become famous, you didn't ask for any of this. You were put in this situation because of luck. That isn't your fault. As much as I was jealous of you, I never once thought that you should have been scrapped. I wouldn't ask that fate for anyone. I love you too much for that, Scott.

(Scott just cries into Gordon's shoulder for a few minutes, then stops. Everything is silent).

Scott: It's amazing how for different reasons we both felt inadequate. Ever since our brothers and sisters were scrapped, I guess you can say that I had survivors guilt. I didn't think that I should have been saved given all the trouble that my owners had to go through just to preserve me.

Gordon: But you do deserve to be saved. It doesn't matter if you had a speed record or not, you are still a really useful engine. You are my brother. It hurts to know that we are the only ones left, but that is the way it is. Steam engines, are not efficient anymore. You are lucky to have found a place that can let you be a useful engine. Maybe you can ask the NRM if you can visit Sodor more often.

Scott: You're right, Gordon. Maybe I should ask. I know that I won't be able to do it right away since I'm going to pull some speciality trains for a while. But what about Mallard?

Gordon: All you can do is keep trying. Be sincere and try to get him to listen when you talk.

Scott: I've been trying. I have been turned down every time. What should I say?

Gordon: Just tell him what you told me. I know that mending hurt feelings can be difficult, but it takes time. As long as you keep trying to bridge the gap, Mallard would eventually come around.

Scott: As for us?

Gordon: You are always welcome here. Even if you can't make it here and I can't make it to the NRM, we can always write letters. If you have any issues, please share them with me. I don't want you to feel like you are alone. Because you're not.

Scott(smiling): Thank you, big brother.

Gordon(smiling too): You're welcome.

(Everything goes silent).

Gordon: I'm so glad that you were able to come here. I'm glad that you were able to survive.

Scott(trying not to laugh): Even though I'm fat?

Gordon(smiling): You have always been on the heavier side. Besides you've been inactive for 10 years and have a slightly larger design. I myself, have been overhauled into an A3. But that doesn't matter, since it still makes my little brother. Even if you are now bigger than me. (He pokes Scott in the stomach).

Scott(laughing): Maybe now you should start calling me big brother.

Gordon: More like chubby brother. Besides, even if you become as active as me, you still like human food too much.

Scott: That's true, in fact back in my youth, the stewardesses would actually let me have whatever food they had left in the dining car. And let me tell you, nothing made me happier than finishing a hard days work eating those little tea sandwiches. Those big pastries they served were especially delightful.

Gordon: Careful Scott, I don't want your drool in my cab.

Scott: You know, Gordon, if you ever come to the NRM as a visitor, I'll treat you to my secret stash of snacks that I've been starting to build up.

Gordon: Only if you're willing to eat actual food when I treat you to some traditional British food.

Scott: Hey as long as it's food.

(They both laugh).

Scott: You know, I'm so glad that we're not talking as if we're strangers, but actual brothers.

Gordon: So it seems that after all these decades, we've finally managed to bury the hatchet.

Scott: Maybe now we can start having a friendly competition.

Gordon: I don't think so, seeing as how we'll both be 100 years in a few years.

Scott: As long as we can at least talk to each other like this, I couldn't think of anything better. Well there's food, but that's only a temporary happiness.

Gordon: I think so too. When are you going to have to go back to the Mainland?

Scott: I'm going to have to go back tomorrow morning.

(He yawns as he slumps over onto Gordon's shoulder).

Gordon: Are you ok, Scott?

Scott: Yes, I'm just tired. All of the emotional conversations we've been having were just exhausting. I'm still not at full strength to have a full workload yet.

Gordon: Well I'm sure it's late and I do have to take the express tomorrow. We should probably return to our engine forms.

Scott(falling asleep): Actually, I would rather stay right here. I'm way too tired to get out of this cab.

Gordon: Fine, then. We can just stay here.

Narrator: But before Gordon could get an answer, Scott fell asleep on his shoulder. Gordon realized that he couldn't wake him up. Minute by minute everyone started to fall asleep. Everyone except Gordon, who wanted to stay up looking at his younger brother rest.

Gordon(thoughts): I am so glad I got to have my brother back. Scott, I hope you'll be able to make peace with your past and mend your relationship with our cousin, Mallard. In the end, not of the things that we did in life are things that were all for nothing.

Narrator: And with that, Gordon fell happily to sleep.

[hbprophetie]

Hello. Nothing to do with Snape or HP this time, and I'm sorry to annoy anybody with my feelings right now so please if you don't care about hearing anything a bit personal (and I do not blame anyone for that!), then do not feel any shame in skipping this post! (It's nothing of real importance anyway and I'll continue to make HP related posts!)

(I might delate it latter. I'm not especially super fond of exposing my feelings but if anyone want to talk about it I'll be very happy to do so)

I have very bittersweets and a rather hurting feelings about something, and I thought that maybe it is an experience that has ever happened to someone, and that maybe that someone would know how to cope with it and give me advices. At least, I think it may make me some good to get it out of my chest, even if it's a bit shamefull to expose.

I have been leaving in Japan for about 10 months now because I studied the language in France and had the chance to be able to participate in a cultural exchange. I've been frequenting a University in a little city in countryside called Tenri, made a lot of encounters of peoples from all over the world, with different cultures and languages.

Now the date of my departure is nearing, and while I'm not sure if I'll move back to France or move in Tokyô to find employement, most of my new friends will go back to their own home countries and I will for sure not be going back to Tenri before a very long time.

I'm already very sad about the goodbyes I'll have to do in the next 2 months, knowing that some peoples I'll probably never see again and I shared such incredible experiences with them that I already know how leaving them will be difficult. At least, I know that those feelings will in some great extend be mutual, and that I'll not be alone to be sad to part ways.

But, my biggest apprehension is to say goodbye to the Japanese coworkers, with whom I have been working for a few month as a part time job outside of my studies. I have been working in a Japanese convenient store and while it has arguably been one of the most difficult and challenging experience of my stay in Japan (because of the intensity of the job itself but moreso because of the difficulties of language barrier, both when dealing with clients and my colleagues), it ended up being one of the (if not the) things that brought the more happiness and rewarding feelings in my daily life. This work provided me with a feeling of belonging and some sense of confidence in myself in a moment I felt very isolated and helpless. Now, I realise that in one or two month, it will be over for good. Because this experience was very intense, I developped very strong feelings of loyalty and attachement towards my colleagues, that I know I should rather not have developped. I understand very well that they are unilateral, and that this is very normal because while for me it's an extremely out-of-comfort-zone experience that makes everything unique, for them I'm most probably just another temporary part-time employee - who looks a bit limited and awkward because not being able to apprehend the language perfectly, at that.

Therefore, I feel a big sadness at the idea that the farewell will be very hurting for me but most naturally not for my collegues. Japanese peoples are very kind, but they have a very different way of thinking than wersterners especially when it comes to social relationship and they are very reserved about expressing feelings. Therefore, I don't know if I can tell them what I feel to any extend without causing them uneasiness and maybe incomprehension (because, maybe for them we are not that close - my strong affective response is caused by my own circumstances) - and this is only if I'm able to express my feelings in Japanese, which is one of the most difficult things to do in any other language than your own. I'm very sad about parting ways, that I'll not be bold enough to communicate my gratitude, that this experience may not have real closure and that they might forget about me a few weeks after my departure.

It's not the first time I have to say goodbye, I graduated from schools and said goodbye to close friends and coworkers before. But never to people who live in the other side of the world from where my hometown actually is. This is the first time I have such intense feelings towards it. And some of these feelings I never had before.

It will be alright in the end, but for now I'm affraid about missing opportunities and not having a chance to be honest and sincere.

Is there anyone who ever felt those things, or would have advices of how to deal with it, I wonder.

[rriavian]

I saw the "Soft™ fic prompt meme" and couldn't resist: may I ask you 10 or 18 for Morpheus and little Orpheus? I adored "Delicate Negotiations" and the way you wrote them <3

Thank you so much for this prompt! I loved writing 'Delicate Negotiations' so I'm really happy that you enjoyed how I write these two :) Writing this fic was just as fun so I hope you like it!

This grew to be a little longer than expected, so here is the link to it on ao3: Lead the Way

-

When they reached the first set of traffic lights Orpheus wanted to be the one to press the button.

The crossing itself was approximately three minutes away from his school. The road immediately outside of the building had never been a problem, was manned by a very diligent woman—look dad! It’s the lollipop lady!—and they had never needed to worry about the safety of crossing there. Her presence reliable even an hour after school had ended; not only for the winter months when it was darker than usual, a familiar face all year round, there even when the after school activities Orpheus enjoyed resulted in a later pick up. Once they ventured further they had no such assistance, no crowd to follow either, the peace of nearly empty streets theirs to enjoy.

There was a chill in the air.

Winter made clear its presence in this crispness, in the fog it made of their breath. In such a season most of the other parents preferred to travel home by car but Dream had always enjoyed walking. Even the cold had beauty. He found the time spent outdoors invigorating, found an additional benefit in how it was a far more useful tool in which to teach Orpheus, an immeasurable value found in a practical lesson.

The hour was edging into late afternoon, the evening making a greeting of a farewell, the sun slipping low in the sky. It was not yet out of sight, an amber glow across the horizon, but it was already beginning to get dark. There was shade setting into the brick of nearby houses, a hint of shadow that would soon unfold far more rapidly. They should be home before then. The traffic lights at this first stop were currently red, cars zooming past while they stood on the pavement, a rush of sound made by both tires and engine.

Orpheus was looking expectantly towards the button that would signal the traffic lights to change.

After a moment he glanced back, peered up at Dream, a wordless request that nonetheless made his intent clear. Though they had come to a stop Dream had not yet moved towards it, and so now he nodded. Orpheus had to let go of his hand to reach up and press the button, a moment where he stood alone, Dream still in reach but a new distance in how he was a moment away. Once done he looked back for approval—unmoving until he saw his father’s small smile—and then Orpheus very seriously took hold of Dream’s hand once again.

“Remember that we must wait for the light to turn green,” Dream said solemnly.

His son’s stoicism withdrew in favour of excitement; an elated smile extending right up into his eyes, proud to demonstrate his knowledge of these steps. “Then we cross!!”

“Yes.” Dream nodded.

They waited patiently, crossed when the lights changed and they heard a familiar beeping sound, turned left, reached another corner and then turned right.

The streets were still empty, but an observer might have seen two figures dressed in warm winter clothes, one small, one tall, linked by a hand reaching down while another reached up. A calibration of two different gaits; two smaller steps for every larger one, so easy to misalign, yet there was care in how they both kept pace with each other as they walked.

Dream was carrying his son’s school bag.

The shoulder strap hold carefully in a slim hand. Next to him Orpheus wore a soft knit hat covering his brown curls, the wool a deep, ocean blue, while Dream had a black scarf tucked into his equally dark coat. There had been a brief disagreement over gloves—my son your hands will get cold—but Orpheus had eventually agreed to put them on after some gentle persuasion. Well, it had been more of a reminder really, a casual comment made at just the right moment. After all, those gloves had been a gift from Calliope, and wouldn’t she like to know how well they fit?

It had granted him a pause. Then a nod. Orpheus had been swayed by mention of his mother, had flexed his fingers in the soft gloves, had shyly commented that they kept his fingers very warm.

He had wanted to be able to tell her that.

Orpheus would be able to prove it once they arrived home. They took another left, followed the road straight, and the next time they stopped Dream was sure to do so a fair bit away from the edge of the curb. It was as usual, his choice of position deliberate to demonstrate the correct place to stand.

He looked down at his son.

“May I press the button this time?”

Orpheus tilted his head up, met Dream’s eyes, a pale face framed by his ocean blue hat, thoughtful as he took a moment to consider the request. His nose was starting to turn a little red from the cold, which made Dream frown, already considering how to ensure his son was warm enough when he took him to school tomorrow. Perhaps he could persuade him to wear his own scarf…

“Alright.” Orpheus was chewing on his lip when he replied. “I suppose that’s fair.”

Dream smiled. “Thank you.”

He pressed the button.

“Need to wait for the green man.” Orpheus said seriously once it lit up. “Then we can go.”

After a minute or so it turned green.

And off they went again.

From then on they preceded to take it in turns to press the button—Orpheus very graciously making the allowance, strictly keeping track of who had gone last—and soon enough they reached the part of their journey where they’d be crossing roads without the assistance of any more traffic lights. As before Dream led them to a stop, now locating a section of the curb that was safest to attempt a crossing, finding a place where the lip of the pavement dipped flat to the road. It was a familiar part of their journey; Orpheus was eagle eyed as ever, critically surveying the opposite side of the road, sizing the distance. The path to reach it was filled with peril, a danger so very real, perhaps mundane for those used to such things but even then this would still be hazardous.

It was a mighty enemy for one so small.

Dream approved of his son’s seriousness. “Now little muse, what do we do here?”

“We look left and right, then repeat, and we can only cross once the road is clear.” Orpheus replied promptly, repeating words he’d been told in a tone that was very matter of fact. The understanding wasn’t empty though.

“Good. Do you wish to decide when we go?”

Orpheus nodded in quiet determination. “I can do it.”

The question had been an honest one, the choice had been a real thing offered, and though he’d not have been disappointed Dream was still pleased Orpheus felt confident enough to attempt this alone. His little face looked left and right, carefully watching the cars driving past, waiting for a gap in the traffic so that they could cross. It wasn’t quite rush hour yet, but it was still busy, and so the vehicles were coming quite quickly without much of a space in between. The hour meant it unlikely many motorists would be willing to slow down to allow them to cross. The task required endurance; it was not a time of year that made waiting easy, there was still that chill in the air, winter nipping at exposed skin with icy teeth.

It was the sort of cold that sank, that was felt more deeply the longer they both stood still. But Orpheus was patient. He didn’t fall prey to the temptation to rush, to ignore a risk, and soon there was a lull in the traffic sufficient for them to cross.

“Now.”

“Very good.” Dream approved as they crossed the road, sure to give praise when it was due, it important for his son to know that he’d done well. He asked his question when they reached the other side. “Are you pleased?”

There was no hesitation in how Orpheus nodded. “It’s not so scary anymore.”

“Then soon we can move to the next stage of learning.” Dream kept his tone soft, not tentative but mindful of potentially unsteady ground. “I will cross first and you will follow.”

Orpheus tightened his grip on Dream’s hand.

It seemed a reflex.

“I suppose.” His voice was tight with anxiety, a fear he didn’t see a need to hide, faith instead that Dream would soothe it now it’d been revealed. “Not today though?”

Dream shook his head, squeezed his son’s gloved hand gently. “No, little muse. Not today.”

“That’s ok then.”

The reassurance perked Orpheus up in a manner that was quite encouraging. His tone already lightened, no sign of anxiety now, the insecurity real but easily put away. This must not be a deep fear then. Orpheus relaxed, his grip on Dream’s hand loosened, holding on but not clinging as if he thought it likely that Dream was about to let go. They once again took it in turns to lead the crossings, took turns to choose the place to cross too, Orpheus easily taking them to the curved segments of pavement that were intended for that very purpose. Their practise had paid off, Orpheus was patient each time, was confident, his grip on Dream's hand so relaxed as to be almost absent. So familiar to be unconscious. He was soon humming to himself as they walked—a tune Dream recognised, a familiar song from an advertisement they had seen on television—continuing as they crossed the last few roads before they arrived at their home.

Above the sky went the way of rust.

Sunlight was fading fast, but that was alright, Dream had been correct that they would make it back before evening fell and the streetlamps took their turn to light the way. As they turned the last corner Orpheus stopped humming, began to sing the rhyme instead; his voice clear, beautiful, a talent to be sure but Dream’s son sang for joy not recognition.

“Though you know the road well, Still you never can tell You’ve got to be wise You can be surprised On the roads near home… Stop, think, and go.”

A big breath, a giggle, and then—

“Ooo-ooo-ooo!”

In the lull between the lines Orpheus looked up expectantly. His brown eyes bright, a wide grin beaming across his small face like light shining, like streetlights in the darkness, like the full bloom of midday. Dream smiled softly, heeding the unspoken request to join in, and they sang the last bit together—

“Ooo-ooo-ooo.”

-

(From this prompt list.)

[aonoexpat]

10-01-2024

Happy new year everybody! And as the previous submissions highlighted (thankss friends ❤️), yes, it's been a while, and I do apologise for the radio silence. My mental health has been a bit of a rollercoaster the past month and a half, and I've had to prioritise other things. But I'm not about to let the daunting task of summarising 6 weeks in 1 post discourage me! Let's go.

The talks of politics and philosophy at home have continued, occasionally with extra participants. They sent me down a pretty depressing and nihilistic spiral for a little while, but I feel like I've really managed to climb my way out of that again. I was finally brought to a bit of an epiphany that's made me able to at least pick myself up by my bootstraps, and though I'm currently not very comfortable in any hard political or philosophical positions, I seem to have a bit more grip on a general framework again. And that helped me stop moping around and start enjoying my time here more again. Though I'm still quite fragile mentally and quickly overwhelmed, sometimes to extremes that I haven't experienced in years, all in all I feel like this has been an incredibly humbling experience that has helped me grow tremendously. Who knew the last leg of my journey would be one of this kind? I spent four months exploring the South island, and now I've spent the next two exploring my own mind. Though I think that's a journey that will never truly be over, which is both exciting and terrifying.

I have been extremely lucky to be able to live this last bit of my journey rent-free, thanks to my wonderful housemates (and their adorable little dog):

Which meant that I could get away with only working part time. I still thoroughly enjoy my job and my coworkers (we love singing along at the top of our lungs to broadway songs as we clean up after close), but it's great to have a lot of free time around work to meet up with old friends and eat sushi or go to the beach...

...Play board games...

...Celebrate Sinterklaas...

...Organise all my marked road maps, give myself manicures and haircuts, and, with deep deep pain in my heart: sell Elrond 💔 I will say I was extremely lucky to be able to sell him for DOUBLE what I paid for him back in May 😱 I definitely did improve upon him, with the brand new solar panel, newly constructed bed and shiny new rear brakes. Still, I hadn't expected to get my asking price for him, but I got lucky having two interested buyers who wanted to compete. I can barely believe it, but this means I have almost fully earned back my entire South island trip, car costs and fuel costs combined! And now I don't have to worry about the scenario in which I wouldn't manage to sell him, and would have to leave him with friends. All that was definitely the silver lining I forced myself to focus on as I gave him one last deep clean, both to be able to present him properly to his new owners, and as a sort of closure ritual for myself. I cleaned out all the dead sandflies, dusted all the surfaces, vacuumed the floor mats, and gave the kitchen a thorough wash. Saying goodbye is never easy, and I definitely had to fight back some tears when his new owners came to pick him up and take him away. But they are absolute sweethearts (they already sent me a photo from their adventure with him), so I can rest assured that he is in good hands! Farewell my darling, you were the best first car I could have wished for, and you will not be forgotten ❤️

Aside from all that, I was also very glad to have the chance to go on two more spectacular hikes in this area!

Patuna Chasm

This GORGEous ~3-hour hike definitely justified my bringing my Teva active sandals with me from home, as almost three quarters of the walk was through knee-deep river water. It was a cold and windy morning as we got driven to the start of the track in a 4WD car by the owners of the land, and were told to be back at the drop-off point in three hours to be brought back to our own car. If we were to miss that car, we'd have to wait a full hour for the next ride. So with our route map in hand, we set off on the first leg of the hike, which took us up the hills and back down to the chasm. The views were stunning, with spectacular rock formations and the grass on the hill faces waving in the wind like a green ocean:

Down at the river, we got our clothes and bags ready to get wet, and stepped into the water. As we followed the river, first upstream towards some serene waterfalls (where I may have given myself a brain freeze and mild hypothermia by deciding to stand under them):

And then downstream to start making our way back to the car, it started to slowly rain, but that didn't stop us. We saw eels:

We clambered up muddy hills and over huge boulders, down ladders, through deep and shallow sections of the river, explored caves:

And when we finally got back to the section of the track that would take us to our starting point, two of my friends were kind enough to carry mine and our fourth friend's backpack, so we could go down the alternate route: the last stretch of the river, which required us to swim through neck-deep water. I couldn't feel my feet or forearms by the end, but the adrenaline drowned that out as we sprinted up the riverbank to make it back to the 4WD car, only to catch it right as it was about to leave without us! It was absolutely exhausting, but so much good old childish adventurous fun, and one of the most spectacular hikes I've done in the country! (Photo credits to Liv :) )

Escarpment Track

This was the last hike my friend and I did together, which was a sad fact I tried not to think about too much as we walked. The track took us about 10km along the East coast, and it was quite the climb. The view was stunning though, the path itself was very well laid out, with stairs and ropes to hold onto, and benches along the way, which we happily used to take a lunch break about halfway through.

We were very happy to have some cloud coverage that day so we weren't constantly exposed to the sun. My favourite parts were the two rope bridges that were bouncing wildly in the wind. Standing on them felt a little like flying!

And for most of the track we were flanked by immense amounts of fennel, which gave the whole walk a wonderful background aroma:

I was so amazed by the thought that this hike was literally 15 minutes from my friend's home. That type of easy access to incredible nature is definitely something I'm going to miss when I go home. But that made me all the more grateful I got to do this while I still could! (Photo credits to Liv :) )

Soon enough my birthday rolled around, which was an incredibly emotional day for me. I had to say goodbye to my dear friends, one of whom I won't see again before I leave the country. I gifted her a little hand made photo album of our adventures together, which had taken me a lot longer to make than I had anticipated, but luckily I had managed to finish it the night before:

She told me this wasn't a 'goodbye', but a 'see you next time', and though I'd happily believe that, the next time will be at least a long time from now. She has meant the world to me during this trip, has helped and supported me more than I could thank her for, so I had to bite back tears as I watched her walk away. After that I had drinks at work, where my super kind coworkers surprised me with vegan chocolate and doughnuts, making me struggle not to cry for the second time that day. In the evening I had a video call with home, during which I remotely participated in their game of Memory, and still WON 💪😤

After my birthday my housemates and I went straight into Christmas mode, running around decorating the house and cooking all sorts of dishes! It was very odd to have Christmas without the associated weather/season, and without getting to see my family. My housemate introduced me to Tim Minchin's song White Wine in the Sun, which makes me cry like a baby every time I listen to it. So I took a photo of myself and my housemates, drinking non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice in the sun, and sent it home along with a link to the song to make my parents cry as well 😈 We spent our days here enjoying all the wonderful food and the company of the neighbour and his family, and I even got to sing some songs which I hadn't done in a long while. I also got to give Christmas presents to my housemates, which I worked quite hard on: matching cowl scarves for the two of them and the dog 😊

Of course next on the calendar was New Year's Eve. In honour of my family traditions, I got some non-alcoholic sparkling rose and cocktail fruit from the supermarket, and a couple of minutes before midnight a musician friend and I combined them into portable cups, so we could cheers to 2024 at the waterfront as the fireworks lit up the sky!

I had a wonderful night of music, dancing, playing on the beach, walking in the woods, and eventually sheltering from the rain, and didn't fall asleep until 6 in the morning. My sleeping rhythm still hasn't recovered! The next morning I woke up from my alarm at 11:55, and quickly got up so I could listen to the last minutes of the Top2000 and wish all my Dutch people a happy new year at noon. It felt so odd to do this in the sun in the middle of the day, but in a way that felt more real than the midnight before!

The next days I spent some time looking back at my highlights and achievements from 2023, and I created my own makeshift "Spotify wrapped" by analysing some statistics from my offline music player app. It turns out that (besides Asha, which is the music I play to fall asleep nearly every night) Ghost was my top artist of the year 🎧 Oh and I caught a big spider in my room!

For Sinterklaas, my parents had gifted me a metaphorical voucher to spend where I wanted to, so I got myself a ticket to a tour at Wēta Workshop, the SFX and other movie magic studio behind the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Avatar movies, and many more. I dragged one of my housemates and a mutual friend along, and I'm really happy we got to go! We were shown around the different stages in the SFX process, we got to hold some movie prop swords, and got to see the original weapons and armour used on-screen in a plethora of different movies. Unfortunately for copyright reasons we weren't allowed to take photos inside the studios and work stations, but I snapped some photos outside!

And while I'd much prefer not to face it... By now I have had to start focusing on my upcoming homebound trip. Slowly plans for when I get back home are trickling in, which feels very surreal. I can't believe it's actually only two weeks until I go home, a fact that I like to hide from as much as I can. It's not that I don't want to go home, I've been looking forward to seeing my family again, eating all my familiar foods, seeing my neighbourhood and getting to hug my friends again for so long now. And I am genuinely excited for that. Part of the reason I enjoy traveling is that it reminds me of what I love about home, and allows me to miss it, and return to it more grateful than before. But it also feels like returning to 'normal life'. I'm afraid of going from a time of adventure to a time of stagnation, even though I know that's not a fair or reasonable thought. I suppose something I was afraid of is happening, which is that I feel at home here now, and happy, and have found the right people, and am enjoying the summer, and so going home (to winter 🥶) actually doesn't sound very attractive at all at times, at least not the way it did when I was living in Elrond. Back then I was struggling a lot more, I felt alone and lost, and so the thought of going home felt like such a relief. Now that I've grown accustomed to the luxury of living in a house again, and being surrounded by a social network I feel safe and appreciated in... the contrast is a lot smaller. And it almost feels like I'm going to feel homesick towards here when I go home. Like this upcoming flight is my departure, not my return.

This thought was solidified even more when my housemate asked if I'd be willing to wear a sweater that I'm not going to take with me as much as I can for the last two days or so, so that it will smell like me and I can leave it for the dog 😭💔 I really struggle not to cry at that thought, and I'm wondering if maybe (i.e. am pretty sure actually that) I'm even procrastinating with booking the trip between here and Tāmakimakaurau out of pure denial. I don't want to leave. I don't want to say goodbye, and never come back. Much more than I ever felt with Australia, I want to return here. I don't care when, maybe that will be when I'm old and retired and have no family left in Europe to miss, or when the most important people to me come with me, or if I find out I have been irrevocably changed and flee back here in a year or two. But I want to come back.

I have procured a second suitcase, and am slowly working on getting all my possessions sorted. I've sold my busking amp and microphones to a good musician friend after we'd used it for a last busking hurrah at the harbourside veggie markets last Sunday. It was a fantastic end to this busking season for me, as we connected with the crowd, the weather was wonderful, and I got to sing all the songs that were important to me. I can't bring my guitar with me, so I'll bring it to my friends' house for safekeeping, and maybe they can get it back to me some day. And the big pink bear who was riding shotgun with me in Elrond? It would break my heart to leave him behind, so I stuffed him into one of those vacuum seal bags:

And I'm going to break my back trying to fit him into the new suitcase! He means too much to me, even if I only paid $10 for him.

My to do list is shrinking slowly but steadily, and I really have to plan well to fit everything that's left into the little time I still have here. I am going to make the most of it, spend time with the people here that have meant the most to me, immortalise the memories and when the time comes, I will get on that plane with a fond smile ❤️

[aussie-wbb]

Lauren Jackson is back.

The most decorated Australian basketballer in history, at age 42, is adding another chapter to her incomparable story, defying the odds to return to the court with the Southside Flyers in the WNBL.

In a massive boost for the sport that will reverberate all over the world, Jackson has not only recovered from the mental and physical trauma of dual-major surgeries but says she is fitter and stronger than when she returned to the international arena to help guide the Opals to a bronze medal at last year’s FIBA World Cup in Sydney.

“Yep, I’m back,” Jackson, echoing another ‘GOAT’ of the sport, Michael Jordan, told Code Sports.

“I don’t think anyone thought I would come back — but I still thought I could play again.

“The rehab went really, really well, I was back on court a couple of months ago and it just got to a point where, physically, I don’t think I’ve felt better than this, at least in the last five or six years.

“I didn’t want to be left wondering how I would feel in 10 years time if I looked back and I didn’t play this season, knowing that I was fit and able.

“I know it’s my last shot. One more year.”

Following last year’s World Cup glory, Jackson joined Southside and quietly played through the pain of a Lisfranc fracture in her left foot.

In February, she ruptured her right Achilles tendon, a minute into the Flyers’ clash with Sydney Flames in front of a record WNBL crowd.

The 7681 at Melbourne’s John Cain Arena were silenced as the three-time WNBA MVP fought back tears as she hobbled to the Southside, souring what was to be one of the biggest celebrations of the WNBL ever.

Many thought it was over but the four-time Olympic medallist, even then, refused to close the door — she still felt fit and didn’t want to end as she did in 2016 when knee issues forced her into premature retirement.

“It’s really hard to close the door after everything that I’ve been through,” she said.

“It was so traumatic, just going through the break and then the Achilles, I was in so much pain, but I thought ‘look I’m going to get fit, I’m going to stay fit’, my mind was in a place where it didn’t matter if I played or not.

“Everyone was asking me ‘are you going to do it?’

“Even my best friends and my family will tell you I really didn’t know for sure until only recently.”

TURNING POINT IN AN ‘UNBELIEVABLE RECOVERY’

Jackson’s initial goal when she went under the knife was to recover enough — and in time — for a farewell tour with her hometown club Albury-Wodonga, which plays on a court named for her in NBL1 East, next year.

But, as rehab progressed, so did the once remote prospect of a WNBL return. A turning point on the court, coupled with a recovery that left her surgeon floored, helped solidify Jackson’s decision.

“The injuries were pretty nasty and I didn’t think I would get to a point where I’d be ready to play before the WNBL season,” Jackson said.

“Had surgery in February, started my rehab pretty intensely in April and was running by early May.

“It was so painful, and I was pulling up sore but, in June, I turned a corner.

“I’ve tested it massively, the last two months, running with a weighted vest every day and just putting as much load through the Achilles to make sure my body’s ready to do it again.

“When I went back and saw my surgeon a couple of weeks ago, he said ‘I honestly never thought I would see you the way you’ve recovered, it has just blown me away. As a 42-year-old, this is unbelievable’.

“It’s been a bit of a journey, for sure.”

A basketball journey, for Jackson and the nation, still to reach its final destination.

FAMILY FIRST

The key to it all, was Southside’s support in helping Jackson relocate to Melbourne to have her two beloved boys Harry, 6, and Lenny, 4, by her side.

“It was hard last year because they weren’t with me and we were coming back and forth from Albury. I can tell you right now there were times I was so sad, I missed them desperately and it would have been too hard to do it again,” Jackson said.

“The club has been so supportive and we’re in the process of moving to Melbourne at the moment, I’ve been down with the team and running some camps.

“I love that my children get to be around a female basketball team, they’re going to get so much out of it and being in a team environment is so important for them, especially at their age.”

Harry’s a chip off the old block, possessing a similar attitude to mum and a heavy interest in the sport that made her an icon.

“Harry’s really into it, I’ve got him in a team down in Melbourne over summer, which is fun,” she said.

“He’s probably still a little bit too young but he loves it, watches NBA all the time, loves the WNBA as well, loves the women’s game, loves everything about the sport.”

A Jackson in the NBL, Boomers or NBA is a distant dream, right now, but a young Lauren Jackson dared to dream, so why can’t we?

[alexander1301]

Farewell Spookiest month of the year, what a month it was, I get to experience inktober, and I had a lot of fun with it, of course like past years, all of Maxwell's friends who got themselves in situations during Inktober are saved/rescued, thank God for that, hoping there's more inktober by next year.

Anyways, I'm doing a top 10 list about it. :)

And here's some music to feel like you've reached the end. ^^

🇺🇸Me: Well October, you've been always been spooky every year, and we all bid you farewell for this year, as we will all see you next year.

🙃🍔🥓Baco: Inktober was sure fun, let's do it again sometime. :)

Tags/Mentions: @carmenramcat @bryan360 @murumokirby360 @rafacaz4lisam2k4 @asteriskdatboi @paektu @leapant @lordromulus90 @princkleminckle

[jmagnabo92]

A Dream Come True - Ch. 10

Ch 10 - One Last Hurrah

The ghosts celebrate one last hurrah at Woodstone and make plans for their next great adventure.

AO3 

          The next few days went by surprisingly fast as everyone hung out and talked about their plans.  The wedding lead much of the discussion as they helped Pete and Laura prepare for it.  The wedding went wonderfully with Pete being thrilled to walk his daughter down the aisle and everyone enjoyed themselves as they celebrated something good for them.

           Luckily, today was about the ghosts and their farewell to Woodstone.

           Of course, it wouldn’t be forever.  They would always be welcomed at Woodstone and naturally, some of them were staying.  Isaac, Hetty and Thor couldn’t bear to leave right away.  Thor because of his son, his fishing business would be anchored near the mansion.  Isaac because he needed more time to adjust and figure out how he could be a history teacher.  It would take more time since he doesn’t quite have the credentials, but Jay had been looking into getting him in as a guest lecturer.  Hetty because Woodstone is her home.  She had never ventured out before, and despite wanting to go to Paris, couldn’t bear to leave Sam.  She was delighted to be helpful with the B&B, instead.

           Pete would be getting himself set up in the little barn that Laura had on her property.  It was a studio apartment that they rent out to college students in Philly but had opted to give it to Pete so that he could be present without being overbearing.  He had plans to do some research into what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.  One thing he had decided on was that he wanted to focus on Laura and little Pete.  

           Alberta had taken her new identification and promptly sat down with Alicia to plan out their first steps into the music world.  They had lined up at least one show the following week, and hoped to spawn more as they planned to follow where the music leads them.  It wouldn’t be easy, but Alberta was excited to already have a gig.  

           Tomorrow, Trevor would be bringing Flower back to her brothers’ place and had opted to bring Sass home with him.  After talking to Shiki (and helping her ascend), Sass had decided that he didn’t really want to stay at the Woodstone, and even though Trevor didn’t plan to go on the road for a couple of months, he figured that Sass could stay with him at his parents’ place.  

           But for now, the party is in full swing – all of the ghosts, aside from Steph as the age difference makes more of a difference now, are in attendance.  The music changes to match each ghost with each new song, which meant groaning when Alberta’s music comes (they had all heard enough of it from her) and wincing when the more classically outdated music of Hetty or Isaac’s time comes on.  It’s such a dramatic change, but it’s fun.

           In addition to the music, Jay had gone all out with the different foods.  Despite the fact that they’ve been alive for a week and had gotten to eat the things they’d been craving, Jay had made all of their favorites.  He had also made sure to get whatever alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks anyone had shown an interest in.  

           Trevor could admit that he had originally wanted to go crazy with the drinks but had admitted that he did not want another early grave and chose to take it easy.

           “So, have you thought about any particular places for your road trip?” Jay questions as he joins Trevor with Sass and Pete, once again chatting about their plans for their new lives.  

           Sass, like Trevor, is the most lost on where to go and what to do, so planning their road trip is exactly what they need to do.

           “If you’re asking if Boston’s on the list – you know it is,” Trevor offers.  “We are friends, after all.”

           Jay elbows him.  “That’s not why I was asking.  I’m curious – much of the states have changed in recent years, there’s a lot of travel and different places to go.”

           “We don’t have much of plan except for wanting to hit all of the fifty states,” Sass says.

           “How’re you going to drive to Hawaii?” Jay questions.

           “We’re not that dumb, Jay,” Trevor teases.  “We’ll just fly, but I have heard that you can put the car on a boat, but flying makes more sense.”

           “And you’re going to drive through Canada to get to the wilderness of Alaska?”

           “We can visit Canada, too,” Trevor offers.  “The truth is we don’t really have a plan.  That’s what the next two months are for – planning.”

           “And making sure that I can drive, too,” Sass offers.  “Apparently, Jeremy said he’s going to teach me how to drive.”

           “I offered, but Jeremy says my skills are ‘rusty’ and promptly signed us both up for a driver’s ed refresher course.”

           Jay laughs.  “Probably a good idea – it has been a while.”

           “Yeah, yeah,” Trevor says, waving it away.  “Anyway, any places you think we should stop?”

           “Oh, well, there’s been a few places that I’ve always wanted to go to, mainly national parks like Zion, Glacier, Yosemite…”

           “Somehow I didn’t think of you as a nature lover,” Trevor states.

           “I love it – I love nature,” Sass states.

           “Yes, we know – hence, your hi tree.”

           “Will you stop with the hi tree,” Sass asks.  “I can’t commit to spending the next several months with you if you do not let go of the hi tree nonsense.”

           “Maybe that’s what I’m secretly trying to do,” Trevor teases, although he doesn’t mean it.  “You know – there’s going to be a lot of construction going on with the whole ‘building a restaurant in the barn’, so you could probably spare a couple of weeks – hire some teenager or someone nearby to make the breakfasts for the guests and tag along with us.”

           “I thought this was your soul-searching trip?” Jay asks.  “Doesn’t that seem like a solo trip?”

           “Sass is already coming, and it might be good for you, too.  Especially with how hard it’s been for you in the last couple of years,” Trevor states.  “I kind of feel responsible for that since it was my fight with the vase – which I won – that caused you to stay, and Sam not be able to go back to the city with her ability to see ghosts.”

           “I don’t want you to feel obligated…”

           “Well, I was …” he takes a breath.  “Also, thinking it would give us time to bond.  In case, something were to happen with Bela – now that I’m … alive again.  If and when I’m ready to date someone.”

           Before Jay can respond, Sass asks, “Would that make me the third wheel?  Because I don’t want to be that.”

           “Maybe Pete can come?” Jay asks.  “Then no one’s third wheeling it?  At least for a couple of weeks during the trip?”

           Pete grins.  “Golly gee, I think that would be a lot of fun.”

           “I’m game if you are – it could be a ghosts’ road trip,” Trevor smiles.

           “I like the sound of that, except I was never a ghost,” Jay says.

           “You’re an honorary ghost, Jay.  Always have been – just because you couldn’t hear us doesn’t mean we love you as much as you love us,” Trevor says with a grin.  

           Jay grins.  “Then, I’m in.”  

           He raises his glass and says, “Here’s to a ghosts’ road trip.”

           “Cheers!”

***

           Goodbyes were never easy, and this one was surprisingly hard.  Trevor always thought it’d be easy to leave Woodstone behind for the world he craved and had dreamed of life beyond the property.  Despite knowing they’ll be back someday, it’s not the same as it’d been last week when they left for a brighter future – knowing that it would only be a few days.

           This time it would be a lot longer.

           This time the goodbyes felt much stronger, more final.  

           Even though they would facetime and text – even though he and Jay had taught all of the ghosts – particularly, the older ones – how their phones work so that they could stay in contact, but it just wasn’t the same as seeing each other every day.  

           “You feel it too, huh?” Sass asks as he puts the bags in the trunk.  

           Trevor can see Pete and Alberta doing the same with their cars.  

           “Yeah, it just feels a bit different.”

           “After years of wanting to be without each other, suddenly…” Sass trails off.  

           “But even though it’s difficult, it’s still a dream come true – we’re getting a new lease on life and staying here when we have the world as our oyster would be...”

           “Wasting it,” Sass finishes.  “Yeah, but it’s still bittersweet.”

           “It was always going to be.”

           “Yeah.”

           Their moment of bittersweetness ends when Flower comes over to drag them back to the house for one final toast and hugs goodbye.

           Sam hands them glasses of champagne as they enter.  “In the living room.”

           Trevor, Sass and Flower join Thor, Isaac and Hetty as they wait quietly for the other two former ghosts to join them.  It only takes a minute before they are joined by the others, Sam and Jay.  

           “I know that this has been a dream come true for all of you and I want you know that no matter how nutty you drove me, I’m going to miss you,” Sam says.

           “Yeah, and you may not be my favorite invisible bastards anymore, but I am so happy I can actually see you now and – and – I am so happy that you all get this opportunity for a new lease on life even if I’m going to miss you,” Jay adds.

           There’s some light chuckling, but it seems like someone on the ghosts’ side should speak up, so Trevor clears his throat and says, “We may not have seemed the most grateful bunch – mainly because we weren’t,” he stops at the chuckling.  “But we are so grateful to you both. You made our afterlives better and we may be leaving for the next great adventure, but that doesn’t mean we won’t miss you, too.”

           He lifts his glass, “To Sam and Jay – the best livings we could’ve asked for.”

           “To Sam and Jay!”  

           They all toast and take a sip.

           “And to our ghosts,” Jay starts.  “Here’s to your next great adventure wherever that may be.”

           “Cheers!”

[dherzogblog]

songs/22

The "Press and Play"list version (click the links for music and extras) songs/22 playlist

1. Elvis Costello -“Farewell, Ok”: A garage rock burner with a bit of the attitude that made E.C. the dean of the class of ‘77. 2. Band of Heathens - “Carry Your Love”:  A monster hook, and every time I hear this it, it makes me think of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. That's a good thing. These guys also released a cool Covid covers album this year. 3. Nikki Lane - “First Time: On-the-rise outlaw rocker recalls her 80's high school rock roots. It features my favourite lyric of the year: "Take me back to the first dream, 501 blue jeans, tighter than god damn Springsteen”. 4. Lucuis- “Next To Normal'': Produced by Brandi Carlile, this deceptively funky tune has been in my head for months. 5. Khruangbin/Leon Bridges: From "Texas Moon" the lone star state collab and follow up to 2020’s "Texas Sun". The adventurous and vibey, Khruangbin have become one of my favourite bands. 6. Lizzo - “It’s About Damn Time”: "It’s bad bitch o’clock". 7. Elle King - “Honky Tonk Disco Nights'': Been listening to Elle for a while now as an emerging star in Americana/Country world. But on this one she makes a left turn teaming up with Chic’s Nile Rogers on this country/disco mash-up. "Dance, dance dance". (Hollywood Fun Fact #1: Elle the daughter of comedian and former SNL cat member Rob Schnieder). 8. Say She She- “Pink Roses”: Slinky cool and danceable, this Brooklyn based female trio love Nile Rogers too. So much so, their band's name is a sly nod to his group. "Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah". 9 .Stone Foundation - “Heaven Knows Why”: Smooth disco grooves and wah- wah guitar from UK soul revivalists. Bell bottoms and platform shoes not included.

10. Dreadzone - “Dread Town”: The eternal spirit of 2-Tone lives on this bouncy single from veteran British reggae/dance outfit featuring lead vocals by Emily Capell who borrows the style of Amy Winehouse and the attitude of Lily Allen, on a joyous celebration of London's multi racial musical melting pot. 11. Pearl Charles -“Givin it Up”:  Last year I stumbled on Pearl’s brilliant ABBA inspired “Only For Tonight” and was subsequently blown away by the whole album. She’s back again with another lush and luminous 70’s styled single whose swirling strings, memorable hook, and slyly funky finish made it one of favourites of the year. (Hollywood Fun Fact #2: Pearl is the daughter of Larry Charles ofSeinfeld/Curb fame). 12. The Dip - “Real Contender”: Big horns and big hooks from a Pacific northwest band that gives me Jamie Cullum vibes. 13. Mapache - “Light My Fire”: Cosmic folk rock harmonies for your mellow mood. 14. River Kittens - “Hate To Break It”: Speaking of harmonies, this break-up torch ballad sounds like it came straight off Shelby Lynne’s country/soul masterpiece, “I Am Shelby Lynne”. 15. The California Honeydrops - “In Your Arms”: More soul horns and a chugging Stax rhythm from Oakland outfit who sounds like they may have been fans of Oaktown homeboys Tony! Toni! Tone'! 16. The Harlem Gospel Travelers - “Nothing But His Love”: Nope, this is not a gospel tune, just some sweet vintage styled soul and harmony in praise of a higher power. 17. Miko Marks/Ressurectors “Feel Like Going Home”: Rising star Miko Marks and the guys may actually get closer to church on this one. Her album has blues, country, and gospel influences, think The Staples Singers and The Band on the "Last Waltz, All of which reminds me there was a pretty great posthumous release this year from the late Leon Helm and the very much alive Mavis Staples.18. Lee Bains + The Glory Fires - “(In Defense of the) 40 Hour Work Week: Blue collar country rock in the spirit of The Drive By Truckers.

19. Titus Anddronicus - “Give Me Grief”: A jangly, angsty pop anthem from post punk Jersey boys. 20. Pinegrove - “Alaska”: More catchy indie pop from Jersey (Montclair!) 21. Wet Leg - Wet Dream: Isle Of Wright indie pop duo exploded on the scene last year with two great singles, "Chaise Lounge" and this one. A proper album was released in '22, so the song still qualifies, and I get to make up for missing them first time around. 22. Hurray For The Riff Raff - RHODODENDRON: Always moving in new directions, Alynda Segarra and crew are back. This time they bring the spirit of The Velvet Underground with them. 23. Melissa Carper - “Ramblin Soul”: Old-time Texas Swing from the woman they call the “The Hill-Billie Holiday”. 24. Taj Mahal/Ry Cooder - “Hooray Hooray”: Roots rock veterans and former Rising Sons bandmates reunite over 50 years later to pay tribute to blues legends Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee. Hooray Hooray indeed. 25. North Mississippi AllStars - “See The Moon”: These guys have always drawn on the southern rock and blues they grew up on. The connection runs deeper on this album with the addition of Lamar Williams Jr, son of former Allman Brother Band bassist Lamar Williams. 26. Wilco - “Falling Apart” (Right Now): I’ve enjoyed all of Wilco’s sonic explorations over the years. but If I’m gonna be honest, I always loved their early alt country outings the most. 27. Reigning Sound - “Lonely Ghost”: This long running Memphis garage rock band broke up late last year…but they released this Dylanesque single early this year. So, have they “ghosted” us or not? Either way, it’s the final rattle of a hard working band at the end of the road, but going out defiantly.

28. John Doe - “Never Coming Back”: Former X-Man John Doe reminds us you can’t go home again in this dark, moody song with a memorable hook that will stick with you and your subconscious. 29. Valerie June - “Use Me”: No, not the classic Bill Withers tune, (it actually has the opposite sentiment), She has an idiosyncratic vocal style, but like Bill Withers, Valerie June is the real deal. 30. Deslondes - “Good To Go”: A charming world weary tale of hard luck and never giving up. 31. Billy Swan - “Don’t Be Cruel”: Season two of “Euphoria” opened with this haunting 1974 cover of the Elvis classic and it blew me away in much the same way the show does. I couldn't stop listening to it for weeks.

If you got this far...thanks for checking it all out. I appreciate you. Hope you all have a great holiday season and I look forward to seeing you in the new year. Peace, Doug

Los Angeles, December 2022

[iswritinganotherchapter]

i feel, and i feel deeply?

It has been a while since I was last interested in someone. The previous one lasted for 12 years, and I came clean to the person but was (politely) denied access, insinuated that I was wrongly signaled. That was 2019, and now 5 years later, with age, I think I developed anew.

But this one is really out of reach. On our socials, we have exchanged words maybe once and only occasionally exchange post-views, but for all I know, the person might not even notice I exist. Three months back, when I suddenly felt a slight admiration, I muted the person's posts because I thought it was a fleeting feeling I would eventually get over.

I felt fine then, so I recently chose to unmute. The timing is just perfect: the person seemed to be leaving work for somewhere and will only be returning next year. I saw that a few rounds of farewells were held at work and with friends, again only via the person's social media.

Funnily (and pathetically), I felt out of sorts as I did not have the privilege of access to reply "where are you going?" or maybe leave (at least) a take care note, because we are only some random mutuals. Deep down, I am hoping that the person is taking a long wedding break, haha, so I can really focus on getting over it.

Ugh, it's Monday now. I have a lot of work to complete. I tried to catch a good sleep at almost 2 AM earlier, only to wake up an hour later because dreams about the possibility of the person's whereabouts unnecessarily lingered around a bit too much in my sleep.

Now, how is it possible that someone I have never even spoken to can cause this volume of mess in my head? I know when I feel, I always feel deeply, but now it's annoying and scary?

5.30 am | 2024 10 28

[travmar]

Journey to the South East or Conquest of the Skies

I say farewell to Latvia for 5 months by watching the premiere of the movie Flow (latv. Straume) and then end the night in tears — I hug my twin brother goodbye. It's the first time we separate for such a long time, as previously we left each other's side only for 2 weeks max. He has to work the next day, so he won't be part of the group that accompanies me to the airport.

It's also my first flight on my own, so I'm quite anxious of what's to come.

As my flight is scheduled at 7am, I have to wake up at 4:30, so I can catch a bus. My parents help me with my suitcase, and hug me goodbye after I check-in for my flight. I leave them behind as I go through security.

The flight to Vienna is uneventful and, if I had to be honest, quite boring. Well, what can someone expect from AirBaltic.

Vienna airport greets me with crowds of people and a long wait for my next flight, that will take me all the way to Beijing. As I've arrived at 8:30 am, I have to wait three hours before I can go through check in again. So I do what's best to do in this situation — go to grab a meal at a fast food chain (Burger King).

The wait is agonising as I don't want to use my mobile data to watch YouTube videos or play Genshin and the airport WiFi is only passable for scrolling the Web. I entertain myself by reading and rereading Latvian news, as well playing 2048. I also explored the 3rd Terminal a bit, which is almost as big (or even bigger) as the whole Riga Airport.

My adventure continues with a small bump — as I check-in for my flight, I'm told that those travelling to Taipei need to have a return ticket, which I do not have. The reason why? Honestly, I don't really know. I didn't get all of it, since my German language skills aren't that advanced, so there might be some convoluted explanation. But in the endmy ticket was changed from 'Rejected' to 'Approved' and I could move on. Maybe having an 180 day visa helped somehow, or the check-in ladies, whom I'm infinitely thankful to, were nice.

The boarding to the Vienna-Beijing flight (AirChina) is fast, and I'm in my seat in about 10 minutes. I also find a pillow and a blanket on my seat. As the pillow finds itself supporting my back, cabin crew warns us about possible turbulence and goes over the safety instructions. I was expecting to be sitting next to someone, but the middle seat remains empty, which gives me and the aisle seat guy a little more legroom. I settle in for a 9 hour flight. A window to my left and a screen in front of me, I have 2 ways to entertain myself — either look at ground below and admire the clouds, or watch a movie. I chose the latter.

My first choice was a 3 hour (2 hours 48 minutes) animated movie called Chang An, a story about Li Bai and Gao Shi (Tang dynasty poets). I'm occasionally interrupted by crew announcements and warnings, so the movie stops from time to time. Dinner (if you can call it dinner at ~14:30-15:00) arrives and I can choose between beef and potatoes and chicken and rice. Chicken sounded quite appealing, so that's what I got. It's a tasty meal, but I couldn't eat all of the chicken as I wasn't the biggest fan of it's texture. It was also quite salty.

The turbulence does exist, but it's not as bad as I thought. While it does get a bit shakey, it's barely noticeable for someone (me) who lived near a railway all her life. The rougher patches reminded me of 2015, when we were traveling to Saint-Petersburg by train. I could have just gotten lucky.

Being who I am, while scrolling through the selection of movies, I managed to find all three parts of "Lord of The Rings". Did I watch them already? Multiple times at that? Maybe, but a good movie is a good movie. Also, I wanted to practice reading Chinese characters and considering I already know the contents of the films, it gives me an opportunity to focus on reading. I was pleased to find out that I understand at least half of the characters and can even understand most of the sentences (English voice-over does help a bit). Most of the plane is dark at this point as the lights get dimmed and window covers get lowered and most of the passengers are trying to catch some sleep, but I, unable to sleep in a loud and unfamiliar place, dive into the world of Middle Earth yet again.

As my second meal I chose noodles and pork. I don't know why they decided to drown everything, aside from desert and bread, in salt, but I can't say I'm a fan of it.

As I landed, I've tried contacting my parents and brother to notify them that I've successfully landed in Beijing, as I've done so in Vienna, I was quickly disappointed — any message I've tried to send would just get stuck loading. So I did the next best thing and sent 2 short SMS to tell them I'm fine.

Transfer to Taipei is fast, yet a bit confusing. The security check workers just silently gestured what they wanted you to do, and you just had to know. It was quite effective, as there was no room for small talk.

At 4:30 am the airport is basically empty aside from a few people sleeping on chairs here and there. The activities started closer to 7 am, but my gate was so far away, that I could enjoy a few hours of peace and relative quiet.

As the Beijing-Taipei flight is so short (and I'm in economy), there wasn't a screen to entertain myself. Sleep just wouldn't come, so I tried napping, then waiting refreshments to come.

I wasn't really expecting to be served breakfast (I'm traumatised by AirBaltic), but I was. I'm not afraid to admit to the fact that I'm a very picky eater, but "New country, New me", I guess. So I tried the rice porridge they were offering. I've heard so many good things about thisbdish, that it would be a shame not to try. I didn't enjoy it at all. But the side dishes of yoghurt (?), bread with butter and melon did help me improve my mood.

Arrival at Taipei is a bit confusing. There are so many signs, people rushing around etc. After some time of filling out the arrival card and waiting in line, I'm approved to enter and stay in Taiwan.

And my first stop in The Republic of China is... a McDonald's in the airport's food court. Even as other restaurants offering Chinese food temp me, I'm dead set on getting a burger with chicken. Honestly, I just wanted something familiar, with no additional surprises.

I spent around an hour there and then made my way to the Arrivals Hall to find my hotel bus. I did find, quite quickly at that. I also found out that's it's HOT outside. My trusty phone notified me that it was 34°c outside (with a small comment underneath saying 'feels like 48°c'). Sure, I can imagine how hot 34°c is, since Latvia is not gloomy and gray all year round, but 48°c (even 'feels like') is something else. So I've returned to the airport, where air-conditioning was.

I managed to check in to the hotel earlier than what Booking.com said, without any additional charges. I can now finally sleep in a proper bed.

[miss-sapphicana]

The Taylor Swift Effect: 8 Ways The Eras Tour Broke Records & Shattered Sales

As the Eras Tour hits Disney+ with 'Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (Taylor's Version)', take a look at some of the mind-boggling feats the pop superstar has accomplished with her culture-shifting trek.

Posted March 14, 2024 - Grammy Awards

Taylor Swift has continuously redefined what it means to be a pop superstar for almost two decades. But 2023 might have been her most defining year to date, thanks to the Eras Tour.

With 152 dates in stadiums across five continents, the Eras Tour isn't just Swift's personal biggest tour to date — it's a feat few other artists have accomplished. The sprawling 3 1/2-hour show is an impressive feat in itself, but the tour has gone on to break records and boost economies, firmly cementing Swift's stratospheric position as one of pop's all-time greats. 

There's a reason why the term "The Taylor Swift Effect" has been coined — it captures the impact Swift has had not just on music, but society as a whole. Swift's latest concert tour weaves through her 10- (and soon to be 11-) album discography, totaling a whopping 44 songs across 10 different acts for each "era." Between the allure of each set's surprise song and the next-level fan engagement, the tour has become far more than your average concert — it's a full-on cultural moment. 

Though the trek still has a bewildering nine months to go (it will hit Europe and another North America stretch from May to December), Swift is celebrating the Eras Tour's one-year anniversary by bringing its record-breaking concert film to Disney+ on March 14th. 

As fans get ready to stream Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (Taylor's Version), GRAMMY.com looks at the impact of the Eras Tour so far, exploring the records Swift has shattered since it first began.

Becoming The Highest Grossing Tour Ever

In eight months, Swift's Eras Tour did something no other artist has ever done: gross over $1 billion on a single tour. Pollstar reported the news in December 2023, stating that the 60+ shows she played in 2023 accumulated to 4.3 million tickets sold. 

This number is even more staggering when compared to Elton John's farewell tour, which lasted five years and had 328 shows and accumulated $939 million. Not only has Swift been able to do the same with 152 shows, but she still has nine months to go — and at the pace she's going, Pollstar projects that she could pass the $2 billion mark.

Shattering Attendance Records

From breaking the all-time record for attendance during her three shows at Nashville's Nissan Stadium in May 2023 to playing the largest shows of her career at Melbourne's Cricket Ground in February 2024 (performing to 288,000 fans over three days), Swift couldn't stop breaking attendance records at various stops. Including those venues, she's broken eight attendance records at seven so far: Seattle's Lumen Field, New Jersey's MetLife Stadium, Pittsburgh's Acrisure Stadium, AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, and Sao Paolo's Allianz Parque (where she broke one-day and three-day attendance records).

Although her friend and collaborator Ed Sheeran already broke some of her attendance records during his own 2023 world tour, Swift has done the impossible again by creating an entirely new record to break: how many people are both inside and outside the venue. Cities like Tampa and Detroit all had "Taygating" — mass parties with thousands of fellow Swifties that include singalongs, cookouts, and trading handmade friendship bracelets like the fans inside. In Philadelphia alone, cell phone usage data in the area determined that around 57,000 fans "taygated" outside throughout the tour's three nights.

Spiking Craft Sales

Creating costumes for Taylor Swift concerts is something that fans have been doing since Swift's Fearless Tour in 2009 and 2010, but a lyric from MIdnights' "You're On Your Own Kid" created a new way for fans to engage with each other. The lyric "So make the friendship bracelets/ Take the moment and taste it" sparked a friendship bracelet frenzy, and caused a 40 percent chainwide increase in jewelry sales overall at Michaels craft stores, with locations within Eras Tour stops seeing a 300 percent sales increase in beads and jewelry categories leading up to the concert.

Since the start of the tour, Michaels has also helped Swifties create over 22,0000 bracelets in their bracelet-making classes in-store. And that simple lyric has inspired other fandoms to take part — Formula One fans are handing bracelets off to drivers before races, and British soccer players are making them to help boost team morale.

Spawning The Highest Grossing Concert Film Of All Time

When she announced that the Eras Tour concert film would be headed to the big screen, Swift opted to "bet on herself" by personally investing $10-20 million to bypass Hollywood entirely to facilitate a partnership directly with AMC. To say that bet worked would be an understatement: the Eras Tour concert movie became the highest-grossing concert film of all time, amassing $250 million in worldwide movie ticket sales. On the day it was announced, movie ticket buyers broke AMC's single-day advance ticket sales record, amassing $26 million within 24 hours.

The Eras Tour film would not only become a huge box office achievement, but would become the first concert film to ever be nominated for a Golden Globe, competing against other major box office blockbusters like Barbie and Oppenheimer.

Igniting Social Media

If fans can't physically be at the concert or "Taygate" outside the venue, they can tune in thanks to TikTok's live-streaming capabilities. Fellow fans provide streams of the entire concert for those who want to watch the gig. Although the viewer count varies, anywhere from 30k+ people can be tuning in on one stream (statistics have shown that most fans tune in for Swift's surprise songs).

Since the start of the Eras Tour, TikTok has been flooded with over 1.9 million videos, with Variety reporting that Taylor-related content can average around 380 million views per day and no day falling below 200 million views. Swift took note of some of the fan-fronted trends, too, including the viral "Bejeweled" dance, created by fan Mikael Arellano, as part of her choreography on tour.

Boosting The Economy

Every weekend, cities that hosted the Eras Tour awarded Swift with something special — Nashville placed a bench in Centennial Park as a nod to a lyric in "Invisible String," Santa Clara made her an honorary mayor, Minneapolis renamed the city 'Swiftie-apolis,' and Rio de Janeiro projected Swift's junior jewels shirt from the "You Belong With Me" onto Christ the Redeemer. No matter how the cities honored Swift, her visit was certainly beneficial for their local economies — one stop of the Eras Tour averaged around $1,300 spending per person on travel, hotels, food, and merchandise. 

The U.S. Travel Association likened it to the Super Bowl, but happening 53 times across 20 cities, estimating the economic impact to be around $10 billion by the time the tour wraps. It's a tour that has single-handedly changing travel, according to CNN, with fans choosing their travel based on where they can get tickets. And since money talks, politicians and world leaders — from Canada's Prime Minister to the Chilean President — have come out in spades to beg for Swift to add their countries to the worldwide tour. 

Breaking Niche Records

Two nights in Seattle resulted in a "Swift Quake" after so many fans danced to "Shake It Off," which caused seismic activity equivalent to a 2.3 magnitude earthquake. Seismologist Jackie Caplan-Auerbach collected 10 hours of data — from the music to the speakers to the dancing — to see how that energy can impact the ground enough to shake it.

Although not an official record, within the Swiftie community, fans have had battles to see which city can have the longest-standing ovation after "champagne problems," as detailed on Reddit and Billboard. Right now, Swift's penultimate Los Angeles show at SoFi Stadium is the winner, clocking in at 8 minutes.

Elevating Swift's Discography

After the start of a tour, it's natural for artists to see their discography have a short influx of listeners and then taper off again. But after the first 10 weeks of the Eras Tour, Swift's catalogue was growing more and more with every stop — up to 79 percent more than where she was before the tour began. And instead of listeners streaming specific singles or albums, the streamers were all over Swift's set list; Billboard reported that 23 of the 42 songs performed have doubled in weekly streams. 

The tour even helped the resounding fan favorite from 2019's Lover, "Cruel Summer," transform from beloved deep cut to chart topper. Streams of "Cruel Summer" went up 304 percent, resulting in the track becoming both her 10th No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and her sole longest-leading No. 1 on Billboard's all-format Radio Songs chart.

Using the Eras Tour to work in tandem with her rerecording release schedule has also become an integral marketing tactic. So much so that coinciding the tour and the releases (as well as the announcements) has helped contribute to her having six albums in the top 20 of the year-end Billboard 200, more No. 1 albums than any woman in history with 13 (as of press time), and 1989 (Taylor's Version) outselling the original — a staggering 1.3 million albums in its first week. 

Swift wrapped her first 2024 Eras Tour leg in Singapore on March 9, as she's now preparing to release her highly anticipated 11th album, The Tortured Poet's Department, on April 19. Three weeks later, the Eras Tour will pick back up in Nanterre, France, on May 9, with dates nearly every week until it wraps in Vancouver, British Columbia, on Dec. 8. 

With an already record-breaking tour and a new album on the way, there's no doubt that the world will continue to feel the impact of Taylor Swift and her pop star prowess — throughout 2024 and beyond.