#fandom problem 7213

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/773504583584628736/7213-okay-but-op-what-exactly-is-toxic?source=share

Ok, I am sick and tired of morons equating women to saints and angels, and that the whole world is against them because of their gender.

Toxic feminitity is

a women using her gender to her advantage

keying a guy's car because he dumped her

straight up murdering a guy because he dumped her and only getting a few years for it

beating the shit out of a guy and then calling the police knowing full well that the police will arrest him

throwing a drink in a guy's face and then storming off in an absolute rage all because he wanted to treat her as an equal and split the check

expecting the guy to do all the heavy lifting while dating and have him treat her like a princess

believing they have a right to a guy's money and privacy

murdering their own children in cold blood and then have the stupid feminists feel sorry for her

choosing the fucking bear while swooning over serial killers

expecting to bring nothing but themselves to a relationship but it's perfectly ok for them to change the man into who they want them to be

forcing a guy to give up his hobbies and give all his attention onto her

happy wife, happy life

fully complicit in a brutal crime but the getting a plea deal

weaponizing the family courts to hurt their ex

divorce courts where they get practically everything, even if they did nothing to deserve it

I could go on and on. Women can be just a shitty as men can, the only difference is that they are praised for it.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[ao3feed--reylo]

All That Glitters

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK

by hearts_0f_kyber (rw_eaden)

Rey is an overworked and under-appreciated customer service representative at the worst job of her life - a call center. The only positive is Finn, her charming and effervescent friend and co-worker, whom she also happens to have a massive crush on. She’s too damn nervous to figure out how to ask him out, of course, so she finds herself massively stuck.

Finn has been trying to get Rey’s attention for the past year but everything he does keeps falling flat. He’s tried being her friend and tried being obvious, but she just doesn’t seem interested. He’s at the point of giving up but he just can’t seem to get over this stupid crush.

Everything changes when Rey and Finn both meet an enigmatic stranger who claims to have a solution to their problems. Of course, nothing is ever that simple, and they may find themselves caught in a whirlwind of scenarios, choices, reflections, and feelings, each stranger than the last. Will they figure it out and find a way to be happy with each other, or will they wind up losing something far more precious than just an opportunity?

Whatever they find, one thing’s for sure: they’re in for far more than they bargained for.

Words: 7213, Chapters: 1/19, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Dopheld Mitaka, Lando Calrissian, Rose Tico, Poe Dameron, Original Child Character(s), Amilyn Holdo, Han Solo

Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren, Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren/Rey

Additional Tags: Dark Comedy, Farce, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, Joking About Serious Issues, Manipulation, Kylo Ren is Literally The Devil, Deal with a Devil, Infidelity, Cheating, Temporary Character Death, Murder, Attempted Murder, Truth Spells, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Bodyswap, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Genderbending, Gender or Sex Swap, Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Murder Mystery, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Magic, Polyamory, Earn Your Happy Ending, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Rating May Change, gratuitous pop culture references, Seriously There Should Be a Drinking Game For This FIc

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK

[ao3feed-jedistorm]

All That Glitters

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK

by hearts_0f_kyber (rw_eaden)

Rey is an overworked and under-appreciated customer service representative at the worst job of her life - a call center. The only positive is Finn, her charming and effervescent friend and co-worker, whom she also happens to have a massive crush on. She’s too damn nervous to figure out how to ask him out, of course, so she finds herself massively stuck.

Finn has been trying to get Rey’s attention for the past year but everything he does keeps falling flat. He’s tried being her friend and tried being obvious, but she just doesn’t seem interested. He’s at the point of giving up but he just can’t seem to get over this stupid crush.

Everything changes when Rey and Finn both meet an enigmatic stranger who claims to have a solution to their problems. Of course, nothing is ever that simple, and they may find themselves caught in a whirlwind of scenarios, choices, reflections, and feelings, each stranger than the last. Will they figure it out and find a way to be happy with each other, or will they wind up losing something far more precious than just an opportunity?

Whatever they find, one thing’s for sure: they’re in for far more than they bargained for.

Words: 7213, Chapters: 1/19, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Dopheld Mitaka, Lando Calrissian, Rose Tico, Poe Dameron, Original Child Character(s), Amilyn Holdo, Han Solo

Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren, Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren/Rey

Additional Tags: Dark Comedy, Farce, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, Joking About Serious Issues, Manipulation, Kylo Ren is Literally The Devil, Deal with a Devil, Infidelity, Cheating, Temporary Character Death, Murder, Attempted Murder, Truth Spells, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Bodyswap, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Genderbending, Gender or Sex Swap, Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Murder Mystery, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Magic, Polyamory, Earn Your Happy Ending, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Rating May Change, gratuitous pop culture references, Seriously There Should Be a Drinking Game For This FIc

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK

[ao3feed4reylo]

via AO3 works tagged 'Star Wars - All Media Types' read it on AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK hearts_0f_kyber (rw_eaden)

by hearts_0f_kyber (rw_eaden)

Rey is an overworked and under-appreciated customer service representative at the worst job of her life - a call center. The only positive is Finn, her charming and effervescent friend and co-worker, whom she also happens to have a massive crush on. She’s too damn nervous to figure out how to ask him out, of course, so she finds herself massively stuck.

Finn has been trying to get Rey’s attention for the past year but everything he does keeps falling flat. He’s tried being her friend and tried being obvious, but she just doesn’t seem interested. He’s at the point of giving up but he just can’t seem to get over this stupid crush.

Everything changes when Rey and Finn both meet an enigmatic stranger who claims to have a solution to their problems. Of course, nothing is ever that simple, and they may find themselves caught in a whirlwind of scenarios, choices, reflections, and feelings, each stranger than the last. Will they figure it out and find a way to be happy with each other, or will they wind up losing something far more precious than just an opportunity?

Whatever they find, one thing’s for sure: they’re in for far more than they bargained for.

Words: 7213, Chapters: 1/19, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Dopheld Mitaka, Lando Calrissian, Rose Tico, Poe Dameron, Original Child Character(s), Amilyn Holdo, Han Solo

Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren, Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Kylo Ren/Rey

Additional Tags: Dark Comedy, Farce, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, Joking About Serious Issues, Manipulation, Kylo Ren is Literally The Devil, Deal with a Devil, Infidelity, Cheating, Temporary Character Death, Murder, Attempted Murder, Truth Spells, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Bodyswap, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Genderbending, Gender or Sex Swap, Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Murder Mystery, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Magic, Polyamory, Earn Your Happy Ending, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Rating May Change, gratuitous pop culture references, Seriously There Should Be a Drinking Game For This FIc

read it on AO3 at http://bit.ly/2BBYPzK

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #7213:

Fandoms often praise male characters for going against "toxic masculinity" or some other kind of word vomit.

Yet, you never see fandoms do the same with female characters going against toxic femininity.

Which is certainly a huge double standard. Praise male characters for learning to control their temper, for example, yet female characters that learn to do the same are obviously sexist caricatures.

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/773392198386499584/fandom-problem-7213-fandoms-often-praise-male?source=share

Even more hypocritical, how every fanbase will call every vaguely positive male character an example of being a "positive masculine" character, yet no one calls a female character an example of positive femininity for doing the exact same.

Male character looks out for female characters? Positive masculinity!

Female character looks out for male characters? *Loud angry screaming that males don't look out for themselves*

Male character understands it's okay to be vulnerable and ask for help? Positive masculinity!

Female character understands the same and she doesn't have to be strong 24/7? *cricket noises*

None of this is as gendered or separated as fandoms make it out to be.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/773392198386499584/fandom-problem-7213-fandoms-often-praise-male?source=share

So many fandoms can't reconcile with the fact a character's arc might've had NOTHING to do with their gender.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/773504583584628736/7213-okay-but-op-what-exactly-is-toxic?source=share

No offense.

It's funny hearing "THIS HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH TOXIC GENDER EXPECTATIONS!" when fandoms love to assume a female character's arc had to do with her being a woman in some way... when it often didn't in canon. It was just a character arc. Nothing to do with gender.

Again. No one uses toxic femininity for anything, blames everything on toxic masculinity, and that's concerning. Particularly in fiction.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/773504583584628736/7213-okay-but-op-what-exactly-is-toxic?source=share

The first thing that comes to mind is toxic feminity is telling women not to speak up or assert themselves because it's not "lady like", and it makes them look like a man. Which fails to account for the fact asserting oneself is a human thing, not a male/masculine/gender thing.

There's a set of feminine attributes one needs to subscribe to in order to be considered "a real woman".

Just as there's a set of masculine attributes one needs to be considered a "real man".

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[damnfandomproblems]

7213 Okay, but OP… what, exactly, is "toxic femininity"? No, I'm serious, what is it? Because toxic masculinity refers very specifically to the toxic set of expectations modern society has around being a man: any show of emotion other than anger makes you weak, tears are unacceptable, asking for help makes you weak, the only acceptable way to solve conflicts are to establish dominance through aggression, etc. It makes no sense to equate this to "toxic femininity" as if they're the exact same thing, because modern society has a completely different set of toxic expectations around being a woman: you're always expected to put on a positive face, always expected to smile, to do all the emotional heavy lifting to smooth over conflicts, any show of anger or distress (no matter how justified) means you're "too emotional" and "overreacting", you can't ever be too mean about saying no (but if you're not mean enough, you're leading him on), you're expected to embrace motherhood whether you want to or not, and you can never, ever put your own needs first. A female character with anger issues working to control her temper has exactly fuck all to do with toxic gender expectations; that's just your standard character development about learning not to be an ass. And I'm getting real fucking sick of people on this blog pretending that fiction exists in a perfect vacuum and that people's different fictional preferences for what they want to see from female characters vs. what they want to see from male characters is because they themselves are bigots as opposed to being a direct response to the double standards that exist IRL.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[damnfandomproblems]

773519251701104640 …huh? Where the ever loving fuck did I say ANY of that? No, please, point to the text of my actual post, and tell me where, exactly, I claimed that "women are saints and angels" or that women can do no wrong.

Oh, right. I forgot. This is the "piss on the poor" website, and people can't read.

The actual text of my post: "A female character having anger issues is a character flaw, and her addressing those anger issues is just standard learning not to be an ass, but insisting that people should blame 'toxic femininity' for a female character's anger issues the exact same way one might write up a male character's anger issues to 'toxic masculinity' makes no sense because society actively rewards men for that kind of aggression and actively punishes women for the exact same behavior."

"Piss on the poor" tumblr illiterates: "HoW dArE yOu SaY wOmEn CaN dO nO wRoNg YoU dEfEnD cHiLd MuRdErInG mOnStErS!"

Though if we're still talking anger issues, maybe you should go ahead and seek some character development for yours.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

Including a few additional anon responses:

Anon:

You know what a REAL fandom problem is? Blatant, In-Your-Face, OBVIOUS bigotry. THIS PERSON SAID "STUPID FEMINISTS" and complained about the damn BEAR MEME and you guys... LOVE IT??? You eat that shit up. On Tumblr, of all places. That's why it's so hard for minorities to feel actually safe in fandom and you guys are PART OF THE PROBLEM. - men have an advantage in life just by being men every single day. if a woman can find an opportunity to have a little leg up because of her gender, GOOD. - That's so weirdly specific, i wonder what's the gender known for not being able to handle breakups and taking it out on their ex's personal property/enacting violence. - People problem. Also, women are disproportionately murdered by men. Very common knowledge. If women get lighter sentences in court, that's a system problem, NOT a "toxic femininity" problem. - Yet again men beating women up is a VERY VERY VERY common thing to happen. Idk about those hyper manipulative supervillain women that seem to have complete trust in the Notoriously-Minority-Hating police you seem to "Know", but here in reality this happens so little it's not even worth mentioning (like all the rest of your stuff, really) - Who hurt you buddy? Is that a movie scene? Are women know to do this very specific sequence of events for this particular reason? what the fuck are you talking about. - Men have, generally, more muscle than women. There's things that would be easier for a man to do, especially heavy lifting. Also do forgive me to think it's okay for a woman to want to be treated well in a relationship. - People problem. Wait, what about that "woman is evil and becomes a cartoon character when asking to split the check" thing? do you perhaps think you're entitled to her money or something??? - WHEN DID... "STUPID FEMINISTS" EVER FEEL BAD FOR WOMAN MURDERING THEIR CHILDREN? ARE YOU OKAY? - OH MY GOD PLEASE GO BACK TO 4CHAN. Part of the popularity and funny-ness of the meme was dudebros LIKE YOU getting genuinely mad about the bear thing. thank you. - People problem. And you're stupid. - People problem. And you're stupid. - Literally just means you want your wife happy, what's wrong with you? - WHAT??? - WHAT??????? - I think I'm starting to piece a story together here. Is your next point that "Stupid women decide do go with Brad to prom instead of the Nice Guy?"

Anon:

Jeez, I can smell this post. Like...I'm not doubting toxic femininity EXISTS in some capacity, and I was hoping to gain some insight into proper examples, but based on this I'm not sure OP understands what toxic femininity is either. Toxic masculinity isn't "sometimes men do bad things" and toxic femininity isn't "sometimes women do bad things". Toxic masculinity is based around performative aggression, dominance, and terror of being perceived as weak or feminine. Because these are traits stereotypically linked to masculinity, but pushed to their extreme. Toxic femininity then isn't "well sometimes women are aggressive too!" because stereotypical feminine traits center on submission, gentleness, and nurturing. Culturally, aggression and "acting out" aren't as tolerated by girl children as they are by boys ("act like a lady!" versus "boys being boys"). This is why autism diagnosis is heavily skewed towards men, and is often "missed" in girls. Because of this, women are socialized to express aggression in more subtle ways. (See the Regina George: "I LOVE your skirt!" "That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.") I'M NOT!! SAYING!! THERE AREN'T!! OUTLIERS!! I'm not saying you didn't know a girl in school who got in fights and beat people up. I'm saying, culturally, this is considered the norm. Moreover, toxic femininity wouldn't exist without toxic masculinity. The reason women are perceived as submissive nurturers is because though most of history that's the only role that was allowed of them. Of course this would result in some bad actors who cling to that role to hide abhorrent or abusive behaviors. Some things I WOULD consider manifestations of "toxic femininity": - The "girl who bullied you in high school then goes into nursing" phenomenon (people who know that they'll be perceived as good and kind people if they go into some care-related field, where they then wield power over other helpless people.) - Family vlog channels, usually run by the mother, which even in the best case scenario exploit the kids' privacy before they have an understanding to be able to consent to having an online presence, and at worse include actual abuse, as we see in the case of Ruby Franke - Maunchausen's by proxy abuse disproportionately being carried out by women - The normalization of anti-vax rhetoric and overall paranoia around modern medicine being spread through mommy groups online, who justify neglecting their sick children with "don't momshame me! I'm just making the best decision for my kids!" - "White woman tears" - women engaging in racist behaviors then trying to play the victim who "didn't know any better" when called out. You seriously weaken your own argument by bringing up "durr hurr why men pay for dates??" "durr hurr why women choose BEAR?" and a lot of this sounds either teenage incel or boomer i-hate-my-wife stuff. "happy wife happy life"?? I dunno, if you want an example of movies addressing toxic femininity, maybe Soft & Quiet.