#fan service at its finest but I’m not complaining

[ormymarius]

I quite literally gasped

[mythiica]

Obey Me! Hiking HC

Title: Obey Me Hiking HC

Fandom: Oney Me

Character: The bros™️

Genre: hc!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1151 words

Other comments: someone feed me mammon content , I’m head over heels for him ; sorry for any formatting mistakes, I’m posting this from my phone!

Lucifer

- is the self designated leader of the group ofc

- picks the hikes they go on

- always screaming at Mammon to walk on the trail, it was made for a REASON, Mammon

- walks last so he can keep an eye on everyone and make sure no one runs off

- acts like he doesn’t care about the others but has a first aid kit in his backpack

- has bear spray and extra water just in case

- has memorized the trail map and if anyone tries to say they know the way, he will promptly prove them wrong

- checks the forecast in advance and dresses accordingly

Mammon

- forgets to pack a backpack, but someone gave him a sympathy water bottle

- he makes his own shortcuts because he knows better

- probably ends up getting chased by a bear

- finds fools gold and is convinced that it is real

- complains/whines about his feet hurting and being tired

- wants to go home before the group even starts hiking

- drags his feet and consequently gets sand in his shoes (which he later dumps into Lucifers backpack)

- gets bursts of energy and runs ahead of the group only to stop and wait for them

- “Oh you guys finally caught up, ive been waiting here for ages” (he says, still panting from running)

Leviathan

- had to be bribed with anime merch to come

- refuses to remove headphones and is always listening to music or an audio book

- has so many keychains hanging from his ita bag (not super functional but it’s cute)

- laments about not having service so he records things to post to his Devilgram when they get back

- learns that the landscape around them inspired a scene from his favorite anime and becomes 10 times more interested

- throws burrs at Mammon so they cling to his clothes

- nearly loses a figuring of Ruri-Chan and cries about it

- gets scolded for being loud and scaring the animals away

Satan

- knows everything about the landscape - how it was formed, when people settled in it, why people found it

- reading the park brochure and plays ‘I spy’ with himself to se did he can match the plants from the paper to real life

- gets distracted when he sees a wild animal and tries to become a Disney princess- I mean when he tries to befriend it

- takes surprisingly good pictures (mainly because he wants to save them and put them in his room)

- agrees to prank Lucifer with Mammon

- caries a modest backpack but then pulls out a giant book

- not a fan of the mosquitoes

- in fact he rages at the mosquitos and tries to smack one but accidentally hits Mammon

Asmodeus

- looks flawless while everyone else looks as normal hikers do

- is wearing a crop top and his entire ensemble is matching

- carries a hydro flask and alternatively uses it as a weapon

- tries to charm another hiker into carrying him

- gets blisters and wants to cry

- makes flower crowns for everyone

- constantly taking selfies in different lighting

- suggests skinny dipping in the lake (and does it even if no one else does)

- eats berries and makes a lipgloss out of it??? asmo magic at its finest

Beelzebub

- carries so many snacks (ofc)

- his backpack is massively oversized because of all the food he’s got

- constantly eating unless they have to climb

- does a good job of collecting his wrappers or other trash he finds on the trail

- almost eats the map (he mistook it for a giant wafer cookie)

- runs out of food by the time they make it to the end of the hike and he goes fishing/foraging for food

- comes back with berries, salmon, and probably stolen snacks from other hikers

- enjoys listening to the birds and sunbathing (surprises everyone)

- scratches his back against a tree like a bear

Belphagor

- lmao he’s sitting in the car taking a nap there was no way he was actually hiking

[breakingmllc]

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I love a Sharks I'M Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry Vintage T Shirt couple of them in a different attorney I was presented the hike across the modulesand now you chop a sheet tool to have Sal down almost hundred 30 confronting his faceand boosting his confidence will finding new ways to get highs wanting the minister to in Tony Strickland. WARNS OF THE HUNDRED AND 11 PRICE INCREASE FOR CALIFORNIA AND THIS IS BECAUSE IN CALIFORNIA THEIR DRIVERS ARE BEING RULED AS EMPLOYEES IN THE NEXT AND GOOBER WANTS TO BE THE NEW AMAZON OF TRANSPORTATION AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY AS SOME OF THE STUFF FOR THE PANDEMIC IS WIPED OUT A LOT OF THEIR CORE BUSINESS. There there there rate like a furiousand fast seminar now that in the top six highest grossing all is called the dominating meaning I am not going to the moon anybody that loves these movies they don’t do it for me but hey there making me a ton of money they’re gonna keep coming great prior to the Caribbean guilty pleasure mine wanted to see this weekend that I have to pirate my own Duffy ship insteadand I have some wine on that little vesseland not an crap line like sharks out there he goes back painfullyand I’m in the bayand so I did see some seals because I think the running away or so tell no tales it’s going to make its moneyand a lot of money I think they watch with you that they watch as I think it’s good you well overseas because of the brand Baywatch was like I was more popular overseas they watch was David Hasselhoff treasure all over the worldand in Germany ready toand then you have the rock so I think it’s going to do well the rock took on moving man’s on Twitter insane is such an obvious the movie man’s going in with his box office a report in the rock said listen brother we still have some international markets is going to open a lot like all over the world see how it does for me know it is a lean covenant dropping 71 I wonder now if Ridley Scott is going to get to finish his he is swinging for the fences with this thing I really admire Prometheus I really enjoyed the movieand I admired that he was still going for with alienand that’s where that movie fell apart for me because shoehorning those aliens in there with that story he’s telling the creation datedand what he’s doing there with Michael Fassbender’s character I’m very interested to see the conclusion that story the box office results tell me that might not happen bummed out about a lean covenant you know I’m I’m sorry that all of you sci fi horror fans are not going to go see this movie because it really is worth seeing in the theater mean what whatever you care about whether you hated Prometheus or like you don’t like alien love alien I think it’s a fun horror film I think is a lot of the things that Scott Mr like he doesn’t deal enough to cover the bases for the people who loved Prometheus he drops a lot of those thingsand brings back a link is if you like however was crying about alien I thought that thing was you know what I like to say was toaster burnt his way like saying I is a very weird way of freezing it on but the look at to see a drop 71 is kind of a bummer because the movement takes risks sound afraid to be differentand has a very cool storyline I thinkand there’s a lot of you know there’s some holes as Pottle’s guess what this bigger plot holes in the fastand the dumb thing you could possibly ever imagine I just made 1 billion does kind of embarrassing that the movie going public is so constantly cracking on a garbage he type of film which really literally is just like a bunch of cool starts in some dumb guysand family 1 million times nothing meaninglessand stupid it was of the tries to make something that has a little bit of some kind of storyline was up low visit everyone who complained pride about that movie I think Matthewand now I need to fasten See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

[metavanaj]

What the hey, AJ? | First Assault [Volume: January 2019]

YES, THE TITLE IS COMPLICATED.

Hi - if you’re reading this, you know the drill. My name’s MetaVanAJ, insert quirky catchphrase and/or ‘your mum’ joke here. Welcome to the first volume of ‘What the hey is AJ play...ing?’ Yeah, the title isn't the greatest but hey it rhymes...mostly. I just thought I’d use this as quick way of communicating what I’m playing (or going to play) at the moment, & hopefully give some quick recommendations, to pique your interests in some really good stuff. As much as I would love to do a video version of this, I feel I would lose the spontaneity behind the idea; once I get my shit together I’ll do one of these in video form, someday. The only reason I’m writing this now is because January 2019 is so jammed packed with excellent NEW titles (despite most of this article being about ports & remakes), that I literally won’t be able to keep up. And I can’t even keep up in an off-season so this is just exponentially worse. So, ‘what the hey is AJ playing’ in January 2019?

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes

(Platform(s): Switch | Release Date: Jan 18th)

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes is taking another core title hostage so please buy this game. Joke aside, I am still looking forward to this title. Like everyone else, I’m a bit iffy and uncertain about how the gameplay is shaping up but I’ll be picking this up day one. Why? For one reason only, of course: Suda51. You see Goicha Suda is a brand - he is a different, ‘special snowflake’ and he makes different ‘special snowflake’ games. His name has been slapped on various works the past decade, and then some, but he actually hasn’t directed a game since 2007’s No More Heroes, on the Nintendo Wii. Travis Strikes Again marks his return to the directorial seat, albeit an odd-way to do so. But hey, this means pure unadulterated Suda-vision, the same vision that gave us Killer7 and No More Heroes; meaning narrative-wise we’re up for, what the kids call, some wacky shit. That and being able to blast through this with a bud, in co-op, will ease any of the pain, if the gameplay isn’t to mechanically engaging. Pain divided...is worse - why would you subject your friend to that?

Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition

(Platform(s): PS4, Xbox One, Switch, PC | Release Date: Jan 11th)

I saw someone call the ‘Tale of’ series the McDonalds of JRPGS - I don’t think that’s an accurate metaphor but hey it’s an interesting way to open up a paragraph, no? Tales games tend to be a bit ‘same-y’ but it’s a bloody excellent formula and the fact they’ve released so many of these over the years just goes to show the formula works. Don’t like the characters, story & setting of one Tales game? Play the next one - gameplay remains the same, fundamentally. I won’t dive into the gameplay deep here but let's just say the ‘action’ is pretty decent in this ‘action-RPG’. Personally, you can’t go wrong with any Tales after Tales of the Abyss (Symphonia didn’t click with me, my bad). Apparently, Vesperia is one of the best in the series, so if it’s half as good as Abyss, and what I’ve seen of Xillia, then this is definitely worth a buy - especially on Switch, so you can take this bad boy on the go. Don’t worry, high-frame lovers: it was 60fps on the 360 in 2008, it’ll a good time, trust me. And this is one also has a dog with an eye patch in it...and a pirate midget. The definitive edition also adds all the extra goodies from the japan exclusive PS3 port, which is all the more reason to pick up a copy now. LIKE RIGHT NOW.

New Super Mario Brothers U Deluxe

(Platform: Switch | Out now!)

Eh, I’m not super excited about this game in particular but moreso the idea of the game itself. Shocking fact: New Super Mario Bros. games have been decent this entire time. The games have no spunk, in terms of story and presentation, but boy is the level design tight & fun. If you’re looking for a good 2D platformer on Switch, get Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, or hey even Shantae ½ Genie Hero. The other big 4-player party-style offerings however, have been kinda meagre offerings. Super Mario Party looks boring and soulless, Kirby: Star Allies is patronisingly easy to a point of being ‘unfun’ (and that’s for a Kirby game), and I forgot how to casually play Smash without crushing people’s dreams. Super Mario Bros. U is a great platformer and even greater with a few buddies but I’m not clamouring to get it at full price. I still strongly recommend it though if you’re just looking for some 4-player platform ‘em up fun. Comes with Luigi U too, that’s nice - surprised they didn’t charge us for it, all over again. That’d be almost as bad as charging a full 80 Australian dollars for it...oh wait.

Resident Evil 2 [2019 remake]

(Platform(s): PS4, Xbox One, PC | Release Date: 25th Jan)

Legitimately thought, I don’t need to sell you this one. You saw the trailer, you’re probably already hyped that Resi is ‘returning to its roots’; whatever that means. Personally, I haven’t touched Resident Evil up until recently, as I am a big baby when it comes to jump-scares. I know their coming but I still go through the physical shock of getting scared by set jumps. The titles I have been delving into (and loving) of late, have been Resi 4, 5 & 6...all at once - and I wonder why I can’t tame the backlog? Anywho, that’s why I am excited for the Resi 2 remake. Why should YOU be excited? The Resi 2 remake takes from all the best components of the series, and smooshs them together to create something extraordinarily beautiful -  the actual horror elements and sense of claustrophobia through environmental design from the first three classic games, the tight gameplay formula from the modern Resi formula (4, 5, 6) and the beautiful new engine from Resi 7. Resident Evil 2 (2019_ is like a best hits album of everything the series has achieved so far. Play it, yeah - you owe it to yourself.

Kingdom Hearts freaking III

(Platform(s): PS4, Xbox One | Release Date: 29th Jan)

At this point, you are either on the Kingdom Hearts hype train, or you live in beautiful bliss of the Kingdom Hearts hype train. I got in an abusive relationship where whenever I thought about Kingdom Hearts 3, I would angrily playthrough the entirety of Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix again. I’m better now - I spend my days now complaining about Dream Drop Distance like a good boy now. That being said: I’m a fan like everyone, I’m getting this Day 1, and I payed an extra 20 Australian dollars, on top of full price, for the deluxe edition. If you’re wondering why you should buy Kingdom Hearts 3, all I’m going to say is it’s going to be epic. It’ll have a rippling behemoth impact on anyone who’s touched a game from the Eastern shores, like Final Fantasy XV did, at its release. If you’re a newcomer, obviously start with Kingdom Hearts 1 & 2, as they are the finest action-RPGs I’ve ever played, in my short time on this earth. But if you’re even remotely invested in the series, you’re already drooling - that fabled release of KH3 is so close I can practically taste it. It tastes so good. I SWEAR TO GOD THOUGH IF I SEE ‘FLOATY COMBAT’, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’ll DO. I’ll see you at the end of it all...

Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal

(Platform(s): PS4, PC | Release Date: 18th Jan)

Woah, that last one got a little emotional there. Anyways, this one’s an easy sell: BOOBS, BUTTS, ANIME BABES, & BODACIOUS BLADES. Senran Kagura Estival Versus was a interesting musou that showcased some promising gameplay elements; I actually had to activate more than two brain cells at once, during my playthrough. Shocking, I know. Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal is a remake of a 3DS game (Senran Kagura Burst), which consists of gameplay more akin to a 3D-Beat-’em-up. It simply looks like a bit of a meatier Estival Versus so I’m keen to check it out & see how deep the game mechanics well is. If you’re looking for a fun light action romp too, you should as well. The presentation, which I won’t delve into here, is often what is a bit of a turn off for newcomers - I personally have never been swayed by it either way it. Sure, it’s a bit saucy but it doesn’t detract from the fact that whatever the Senran Kagura series tries its hand at, is often a pretty fun & polished experience, albeit a slightly shallow one. This one isn’t necessarily a ‘must get’ but they’re not charging full price so it is definitely worth an investigative playthrough, if you can get past the ‘fan-service-y’ presentation.

Well, that’s it for the first volume of ‘What the hey, AJ?’ Next time, I hope to adapt this into video form & hopefully spin in a few funnies, as well as just tighten up the structure. Next time, probably won’t be all new releases either - I’ll probably end up doing another just if I find that everything I’m playing, at any given time, is amazing. I have, and always will be, MetaVanAJ - stay cool, fools. Actually, that was mean calling my audience fools. Stay cool, individuals.