#familynarrative

[justwritingdownthenarrative]

Where does one begin

Some time ago, perhaps like many others of a certain age, I began to delve into the fates of my family.

Unravelling the stories of individuals. Some familiar and loved, some not. Some existing only on the fringes of my memory. And some discovered during this journey.

Together, I belive, these small personal stories are the story of Europe. And I don't want that to sound pompous, I am more amused, how it all unravelled.

So I would like to share what I found in a series of stories for anyone who might be interested, and I guess that in a roundabout way these stories will be about why I was born in Sweden to Czech and Swedish parents, and later married a man who was born in Australia to a Czech father and an Aussie mom.

[imeuswe]

Exploring the Incredible Tales of Your Ancestors.

Checkout our blog “Tracing Our Roots: Discovering the Surprising Stories in Your Family Lineage” - https://buff.ly/3JXcdCj

Download iMeUsWe today - https://linktr.ee/imeuswe

Visit our iMeUsWe website - imeuswe.in

[weemsbotts]

Practical Joker or Frustrating Imp: The “Gargantuan Feaster” in Dumfries & Alexandria

By: Lisa Timmerman, Executive Director

Sometimes, fascinating clues on historic Dumfries can come from easy to access published books. Lucy Lee Pleasants (1856-1925) recorded her mother, Sally Lee McCarty Pleasants (1833-1916), memories and stories in the book Old Virginia Days and Ways: Reminiscences of Mrs. Sally McCarty Pleasants. She noted that this was a “memorial to her whose remarkable and unusual gift for narrative have made it possible.” So let’s delve into her book and see what cherished tales we have for Dumfries and Alexandria

Sally Pleasants recorded an interesting tradition of eating contests for Virginia as she remarked on how an unidentified male was able to take advantage of local taverns throughout the area. This story was told to her by her father, John Mason McCarty (1795-1852).

 “The same rollicking spirits which prompted people to play practical jokes found expression in homeric feasting. Eating contests were frequent and tales of prodigious gastronomic feats were told.

Lawyers who had business in the Circuit Court would ride together to the different towns to try their cases. They would plan to arrive at certain taverns for certain meals, the landlord being apprised beforehand of their coming. Dumfries was the place where they usually spent the night, breakfasting there next morning. A man who enjoyed a great local reputation as a gargantuan feaster, hearing that the lawyers were expected, rode in advance to Dumfries, ordered breakfast and continued to eat until he had consumed the entire meal that had been prepared for seven or eight guests.

When he went to pay his score, the landlord objected. "I cannot let you have such a meal as you have just eaten for the usual price; you have devoured the breakfast provided for nearly a dozen men."

"That makes no difference," replied the man; "the last time I was here I had only a cup of tea and a bit of toast, but you told me the price was the same whether I ate little or much."

 So many questions to ask! What was the breakfast (sorry, author is feeling hungry right now), who was the “gargantuan feaster”, exactly what year did Circuit Court lawyers find Dumfries a traditional spot for an overnight visit and breakfast (especially important as so many negative accounts of Dumfries emerge in the 1820s), and what tavern did they frequent? The “gargantuan feaster” then made his way north,

 “In Alexandria, when the schooners would come in laden with oysters, men would pay a quarter for permission to eat as many of them as they wanted. In an unlucky moment this permission was granted to our prodigious eater. After  devouring so many that the shells were heaped around him almost as high as his head, the owner of the cargo was obliged to pay him a dollar to leave off.”

(Image: From the book  Pleasants, Lucy Lee. Old Virginia Days and Ways. Menasha: George Banta Publishing Company (1916), across from title page)

Oyster clues! In the City of Alexandria Virginia’s fantastic resource site, we can skim through travelers’ accounts of the historic Alexandria waterfront! Travelers’ accounts are instrumental primary sources as visitors often make different observations than residents, perhaps, in our case, finding oysters and schooners exciting? Keep in mind this is just a quick peek and we could certainly spend a full blog article on this topic. We know the Courthouse in Dumfries left in 1822 for Brentsville, so let us focus our attention after that date. Bernard, Duke of Weirmar mentioned “several schooners” in his 1825-1825 book Travels Through North America. In 1826, Anne Newport Royall commented on the markets of Alexandria noting they were inferior to the western country, except for their beef and fish, “But their exquisite fish, oysters, crabs, and foreign fruits, upon the whole, bring them upon a value with us.” Keeping in mind that her father died in 1852, are the 1820s a good speculation? Warning: speculations abound here!

Lucy Lee Pleasants also remarked that her mother, “embodied, we think, the grace and charm of Virginia as it used to be – the Virginia of her youth to which she was always tenderly loyal…” Typically, when people mention the “Old South” fondly, they are generally referring to a distorted and twisted pre-Civil War society where the enslaved were “happy” and “content”. Sally Pleasants remarked on the racial tensions and later stated, “From the time I was old enough to think for myself I had grave misgravings that slavery was wrong. Mammy was the only slave my parents owned and after my mother’s death, as soon as I came of age, I set her free and paid her wages as my maid.” However, other statements in the book still reinforce that while she was aware of a “nameless anxiety” there is still racism present throughout this text.

Ultimately, this is a narrative remembered from an oral history with reminisces on past stories from other people. While this source may seem too troublesome to take at value, I think we can extract interesting information and speculate on possible dates, people, families, etc. Also, exactly how large was our “Gargantuan Feaster’s” stomach…and would he have a reality media series today?

Note: We have two excellent programs at the end of July! Our f2f Children’s Day at the Museum Sponsored by Colonial Downs Group invites you to go on a scavenger hunt and make a scent sachet, while our Weems-Botts Bibliophiles delves into Norse Mythology, reading the Eddas on a hunt for the stories behind the Marvel movies and shows. Click here for Children’s Day and here for the Weems-Botts Bibliophiles!

(Sources: Pleasants, Lucy Lee. Old Virginia Days and Ways. Menasha: George Banta Publishing Company (1916): Pages 113-114; Gunston Hall Library, The Mason Web: The Mason Descendents Database: Sally Lee McCarty, Lucy Lee Pleasants, https://gunstonhall.org/wp-content/uploads/masonweb/index.htm; Organized by Kelsey Ryan, Office of Historic Alexandria/Alexandria Archaeology, City of Alexandria, c. 2009, Traverl’s Accounts of the Historic Alexandria Waterfront: Bernard, Duke of Weimar. Travels Through North America, 1825-1826, p.178; Anne Newport Royall, Sketches of History, Life, and Manners, in the United States, By a Traveler. New York: Johnson Reprint Corporation, printed for the author, 1826)

[chatoyerbeauty]

The mountains are my bones, the rivers are my veins. The forests are my thoughts and the stars are my dreams. The ocean is my heart, its pounding is my pulse. The sounds of the earth write the music of my soul. ___ #happyvibes #bohostyle #boho #mindbodysoul #cleanliving #dailyskincare #dailydetox #selfloveclub #justbreathe #inspirational #happy #mindbodyspirit #chic #goodvibrations #holistic #wholelife #alliseeispretty #thepursuitofjoy #shedelights #familynarrative #happyhealthylife #oilyfamily #seeksimplicity #myhomevibe #keepingitreal #communitymatters #allinthistogether #community https://www.instagram.com/p/CGnKKyHnAfW/?igshid=iayp0ykma0rs

[johnark]

TJ Johnston retired from  sawmill work in 1982 at age 65. He was living in the Hope house at 707 East Division Street. He had always done most of the work around the house and very seldom hired outside help. The rain gutters in the house required cleaning. TJ failed to accept that he was now elderly and with less coordination, balance and strength. He undertook this task, one he had always done himself. He fell from the roof, injuring himself and was confined to the hospital. He chose not to go to the care of our family doctor, Dr. Jim McKinsey, in the Branch General Hospital where Vivian was the Chief of Nurses; but went to another hospital instead. Vivian commented that he would not receive optimum care in the facility that he chose. While confined in the hospital he suffered a heart attack and died, ten months after retiring. He had been a smoker for most of his life. While the fall did result in severe injury, surely it was demon tobacco that took his life. 

Vivian was the Chief of Nurses at Branch General Hospital. In addition to her administration tasks, she also worked in the cancer ward of the hospital. She developed a chronic cough. Dr. McKinsey, who she worked with there, kept urging her to check out the cough. Finally she made a chest X-ray. She told me “when I saw those X-rays I knew I was looking at my death warrant.” She had lung cancer. She had been a smoker most of her life and was a smoker then. She had surgery but all the cancer could not be removed. She was given six months to a year to live. In about a year the cancer returned. It was demon tobacco taking another life. 

 I, John McLeod, also smoked as a youngster as most people did in those days. I smoked for about ten years and finally became disgusted with the filthy habit. This was before we knew that tobacco could and most likely would kill you if you used it. Ridding myself of the demon tobacco was the most difficult thing I did in my life. I attribute a heart attack I suffered in 1999 to the demon tobacco. Today I continue life with high risk from cardio vascular disease. I wrote a blog about the demon tobacco. Create a hyperlink on your computer with the following address, click on it, and you can read the blog. If you are reading this on a computer connected to the Internet, that is a hyperlink. Just click on it.     https://JohnArk.Tumblr.com/tagged/tobacco

                                    MELISSA’S FAMILY IN 2018

From the left: Bradley Mohon Papineau, Mateus Lima, Melissa Mohon Papineau, Anne Papineau Nelson, Mikael Nelson, William Edward Papineau.

In this narrative we have briefly stated that Big cared for her dying husband in difficult circumstance in Harrell in the early 1930s and later cared for her dying mother in her home in Hope. The comments about Big’s caring for her mother, Martha Frances, are on Pages 4 and 6 of this narrative. I observed this and was amazed at Big’s skill, patience, compassion and strength both physically and mentally in dealing with what I observed as a very difficult person and difficult situation. I was just a kid at the time, but I was mature enough to recognize an extraordinary life and death event unfolding in that room and appreciate what I was seeing. But even more extraordinary and astounding as well is how deplorable conditions, devastating events, surprising and disappointing betrayals around the final two years of the life of her husband, Dr. Charles Bennett Johnston (CB), were met with such extraordinary determination, loyalty, skill, organization, perseverance, compassion, dedication, endurance, improvisation, stamina, grit, moxie – need I go on? This was indeed an extraordinary situation confronted and overcome by a more than equally extraordinary person. I want to add to what has been said about this in this narrative on Pages 2, 21, 22 and 23. 

 Let me start by trying to establish the situation in the Johnston household in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Vivian told me that Charles B. Johnston died of Parkinson’s disease. This disease is a progressive, untreatable, incurable nervous system disorder manifested with movement disorders, autonomic dysfunction, neuropsychiatric problems among others. The end stage of Parkinson’s is an extremely distressing situation. Today hospice takes over at that point. Family cannot provide or endure care at that point. CB probably suffered with incontinence, insomnia, dementia, hallucinations, severe posture issues with back, neck, hips and was surely bedridden. Just think of a bedridden heavy man, drooling, urinating uncontrollably, with induced diarrhea to relieve constipation, depressed, and demented. It would have been impossible for Ruth to have cared for CB alone. However inexpensive, inexperienced assistance could have been available from the black community. Surely Ruth would have expected assistance from her children – Vivian 9 or 10, TJ 13 or 14 and Mary 16 or 17. The situation in CB’s room must have been hell. And probably smelled that way, too. Hell at that point and the future very bleak. The country was in the midst of the depression with 30% of the work force unemployed. Is this the reason that Mary dropped out of school, abandoned her family and ran away with Frank McLeod? What about family loyalty, personal responsibility, conscience? What did Ruth think when her oldest daughter abandoned her in the time of most need? Yes, abandoned. Fled. That’s the way it looks to me. Yes, living with Frank would have been “wonderful” compared to the hell that existed in the Johnston household. Had she stayed with Frank, as it turned out, it would have been a blessing for Ruth. But rather than escape from it, Mary returned just in time to add to that hell and responsibility for Ruth. I was born on 21 September 1931. CB was in the last, tortured year of his life. He died on 22 November 1932. So, in summary, the situation for Ruth at the return of pregnant Mary was: caring for CB in the direst and most demanding period of his declining health, supervising untrained CB care givers, caring for two high school children, managing a household, managing the family finances, and now Ruth has to organize the care of Mary and the child and deal with Frank McLeod. Probably Mary demanded that Ruth force Frank to marry her. The fact that Frank sent her home probably meant that he would not easily agree to this. Hiring an attorney and settling the situation through the courts if required was most likely out of the question because of finances, time element, physical location and life and death responsibilities. Probably in the interests of a quick settlement of the issue, Ruth and Frank agreed upon marriage, separation, no contact, no responsibility.  And Frank went happily on his way, leaving Mary angry, distraught and pregnant. This situation would surely have overwhelmed a lesser person. That house in Harrell, still standing in 2020 (Page 23), is a small one and could not physically accommodate all the activity thrust upon Ruth. So, Ruth organized an unknown benefactor in Artesian, Arkansas to take in pregnant Mary and care for her and her child. Ruth organized for Dr. J. E. Rhine of Thornton, Arkansas to deliver the child. Today unmarried mothers is a common situation. In those days there was an immense stigma associated with this. Even divorce carried a stigma. Was the Artesian relocation for Mary to relieve her of the humiliation by her classmates, and perhaps relieve Ruth of the humiliation by her peers in Harrell? I don’t think so. I think it was just a byproduct of the situation; that the relocation was dictated by the turmoil in the Johnston household at the time. It was life and death “crunch time” in the Johnston household and Ruth did not have time for social contemplations. Probably Ruth did not have the time or the inclination to convince Mary that this was the best course of action. She probably just informed Mary that this is what we are going to do and it is not open for discussion. If this is the way it was, and this supposition is logical in this circumstance, then it very well could have been a great point of contention and resentment Mary had for Ruth. So Mary went to Artesian, had the child and nursed to the weaning point where the child was sent to Harrell and Big’s care and Mary completed her high school education. Surely Ruth arranged this knowing that in the future Mary would be severely limited without at least a high school education. Ruth continued the management of the Johnston household which entailed the hospice care of CB; going into that room with its fetid, malodorous odor with compassion, skill and determination; the care of two school children; providing food for all of them; and financial control with dwindling resources, no income, no safety net from prior work or the federal government and the country in the midst of The Great Depression with 30% of the work force unemployed. Accomplishing all of this with a bleak future facing her could have been completely overwhelming, but she safely steered her ship of household through this massive storm to calm waters after the death of CB on 22 November 1932. The hell that had dominated the household for several years was passed, but the financial situation remained extremely dire. There was no income and the Great Depression and its effects loomed large. Now Ruth used her imagination and ingenuity. She began serving noon-time meals to the nearby railroad workers for twenty five cents per meal. The former college professor and wife of the town doctor found a way to overcome every obstacle. The next event confronting Ruth was the return to the family of Mary with her Artesian high school diploma, shown in photos on Page 10. It was soon discovered that Mary was once again pregnant. This revelation had to be distressing to say the least for both Mary and Ruth. I think this is where TJ told Mary ‘why can’t you keep your pants on?’ This infuriated Mary and she never forgot it. As stated in this narrative on Page 13, Mary, now an adult, nearly 22 years old and responsible for her own actions, was sent to the Witherington farm where her Artesian schoolmate, Frank Weisinger, was working to inform him that she was pregnant with his child and to see if he would marry her. He did the honorable thing and married her. Frank was a handsome, but simple man. His mind and world revolved around what was needed and what was required in the life of a ‘share cropper,’ which is essentially what he was. He had no vision of further education, of art and culture – only the farmer life that was presented to him. So Mary now the adult, nearly 22 years old, the daughter of a college professor and doctor, was left with the prospects and situation that she had created. 

The Johnston household in Harrell continued with little money and scant hope for a better future. Even in very limited circumstances, Ruth never lost her sense of humor. A story she obviously told Vivian and which Vivian told me involved a hefty eater among the lunch time railroad men. Finally Ruth informed the gentleman that she was going to have to increase his meal price to thirty cents. He replied “Oh, Mrs. Johnston, I wish you wouldn’t do that. I have enough trouble now eating twenty five cents worth.”  So in 1934 the Johnston household continued with its meager resources supporting Ruth, TJ, Vivian and John. This was the situation for the next four years. Then in the 1938 – 39 time frame Ruth’s brothers came to her rescue. They were prospering in the sawmill business in Hope, Arkansas. They invited the family to move to Hope and offered TJ an important job in the sawmill. The Johnston household world was transformed. The move to Hope, new situation and a change of life. The family income secured and hope for the future. Ruth happily joining her brothers and sisters with bright and unlimited prospects for her children and me. Mary was left with her prospects and situation that she had created. 

[phillipabloom]

Only Daniel could look this good with a jumper on his head - 22 years old today and every bit as scrumptious as he was at 22 minutes. Love you always our darling DanDan #happybirthday #parenting #motherhood #fatherhood #mothering #family #portrait #memories #familynarrative https://www.instagram.com/p/B5-F6D-Av75/?igshid=h8529skh08g7

[katherineemery]

Adventure seekers on a mission. . . . . #documentaryfamilyphotography #maine #mdi #letthekids #lifeunscripted #familynarrative

[ocfooddiva]

I am just tickled pink that Nandita Godbole included me on the cover of her new book, "Not For You - Book One"! Now available at www.currycravingskitchen.com in print and ebook. So great seeing you today, Nandita! 📚😁🇮🇳 #hosted #nanditagodbole #notforyou #book #recipes #foodfiction #familynarrative #indian #hindu #jewish #india

[kathrynruppertdazai]

“Porkchops” 52”x26” #fibreart from the series #kathrynruppertdazai #textileart #repetitionofdomesticity #elleestfemmeaufoyer #motherartist - thinking about sending this one to be framed- mounting on #irishlinen #familynarratives #objetduquotidien

[hazelhannahespinoza-blog]

Luke 12:34

                Family, as defined by the dictionary, is a group of people who are related to each other or a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. Some people these days don’t know who their families are, while others have the privilege to have a complete and wealthy family. Every family is different. No family is alike.

                I am proud to say that I belong to a family who loves each other very much. Just like any ordinary family, there are fights within our household and that can’t never ever be avoided. The astounding thing about us is that even though we constantly fight, especially my brothers, we still stick together and help each other in times of trouble. I’m in a five-member family. I have two older brothers plus my mother and father. My mother said that we are supposed to have an eldest sister but she died in my mother’s tummy. Since I knew about that story, I always wonder what it feels like to have an elder sister but I can say I am contented with just my brothers. Growing up in a testosterone filled home is what helped me be strong. I grew up with rock music blaring in our speakers and action movies. I can still remember where yoyos were still up-to-date and that day my brothers were playing there newly bought yoyos and I was just there sitting watching television. My father was messing with the camera and decided to take a picture of us three. My brothers that time was topless since we were just staying at home, and I being just 5 years old took my shirt off and we’ve put the strong face on our faces and my father took the picture. It is really nice being the youngest and only girl; you get to be treated as a princess. When I was in high school, I can’t forget those times when my brothers and father always say that whenever a boy will hurt me they will surely punch the boy’s face. My brothers now, since they’ve their own work, live in a separate house. My second brother has already a family of his own. But despite that, he still visits my parents whenever he has time. He already has a daughter so which is basically my parents’ first granddaughter. Being the youngest in the family, I never had a chance to take care of a baby, so I am very glad now that I was able to hold a baby. I never knew how to carry a very delicate piece of art not until she came. My father and second brother weren’t really getting along well but when she came, the two of them made up; so I can say that she is an angel. Reminiscing the past,  I still remember that time where my second brother was caught up in a fight, in was around 11pm, and our eldest immediately stood up and said that’s my brother they’re messing with and went to where my brother is. With that simple action, I knew that despite my brothers not getting along well, the brotherly love is still there, just hidden and is ready to be exposed in times of dilemma.

                I know we are not a perfect family but it is surely where I want to be. They are the ones who I want to share my successes and failures, the one who I want to be with during my ups and downs, and the people who I want to take care of me whenever I get sick. I just can’t explain how much I love my family, I owe them a lot. That’s why I am doing my best in school now because that’s the only thing I can give for them now; I want them to be proud of me. 

[phillipabloom]

Ending the weekend with a favourite one of our dad-at a cocktail party in Malawi circa ‘65 proving that he could swim cigarette in hand, beer aloft #family #familyportrait #analogphotography #vernacularphotography #father #femalegaze #familyhistory #familynarrative https://www.instagram.com/p/BxFS5YRgBcV/?igshid=113kd59dpaz42

[ocfooddiva]

West Coast book launch of Nandita Godbole's "Not For You - Book One" at the Getty Center. Her book is available on her website, currycravingskitchen.com. Ebook also available on iBooks, GooglePlay, and Kindle. This family narrative of denial and comfort foods also includes yummy recipes. Check out my YouTube video and watch me make Nandita's Pineapple Malpua! 📚 🧀 🍞 🍎 #hosted #nanditagodbole #notforyou #book #foodfiction #indian #indiancuisine #jewish #jewishcuisine #hindu #hinducuisine #familynarrative #denial #comfortfoods (at Getty Museum)