#fallout meyers

[introspectivememories]

[clogginbloggingoggin]

walton goggins as the ghoul (fallout, 2024).

[gingersn4pp]

Smore misc sketches from this semesters book.

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

i won’t lie there is no better fandom feeling then having your headcanons later confirmed canon in subsequent sequels / dlc / supplemental materials. its so masturbatory but sorry word of god is telling me to crank my hog ig

[fnvminorcharacterpoll]

FNV Minor Character Poll - Round 2-B, Day 4

Left: Chris Haversam, engineer for the Bright Brotherhood and, according to him, a ghoul. —"I was human once, you know. Grew up in Vault 34, northeast of here. Nice upbringing, if you like assault rifles and target practice. But oh, you prefer machines that don't shoot people? Not so nice then."

Right: Meyers, former prisoner at NCR Correctional Facility and potential new sheriff of Primm. —"Howdy do, folks. I'm Sheriff Meyers. Be good, or I'll shoot you dead."

Designated cheerleaders were not available for this match-up.

[Bracket | Info & FAQs | Become a Designated Cheerleader]

[delafiseaseses]

OK, so, I have developed a probably odd viewpoint on the best overall outcome for Primm in New Vegas.

So, what do I apparently think is the best outcome for Primm now? 

An Independent Ending where you’ve sided ‘em with the NCR.

Now, firstly let’s just show what it says in such an ending “Despite NCR's pledge to support Primm, they abandon the town after their loss to the Courier. Independent again, Primm operates much as it had before the Powder Gangs arrived, full of ups and downs.”

So, why am I saying that that is the best ending? Well, it’s simple: self-determination. Who becomes Sherriff of Primm post-NCR? I don’t know, I didn’t choose them. The people of Primm did.

Now, a lot of you may say “But Primm Slim is the best option.” and I agreed for a long time. In a choice between Meyers, the NCR and Primm Slim, Slim wins by a landslide, no question, but there was a shockingly salient criticism of him from Beagle of all people “... the law to him is a set of logic. Not everything is black and white, not sure a robot can ever understand that.” and this is, like, we all know Slim isn’t the most... sentient of robots in Fallout. Sure, Beagle is saying this mostly from annoyance of losing his job, but he’s right on the other two, for Meyers he says “He's a good sheriff but a hard man. He doesn't abide by anyone slinking by the rules. I guess there won't be any trouble, but the man's law is hard.” and for McGee he says “He's rude. Just don't tell him I said it. Primm has a sheriff now, just not as supportive as I would've hoped.” and, yeah, Sergeant McGee isn’t a nice man.

Of course, Slim’s endings are good “Primm Slim proves to be an able-minded, if not able-bodied, sheriff for Primm. Due to his slow speed, some crooks get away without a scratch, but Primm continues to prosper under his watchful robotic eye.“ or in a Legion ending “Not understanding the gravity of the Legion's imminent takeover of Primm, Sheriff Primm Slim valiantly attempts to resist Caesar's will.” no word on what happens to Slim in the latter, but from what we hear Primm Slim is a good enough sheriff.

But, times change and an eternity under the law of a Protectron running a pre-war law enforcement routine is... a questionable idea, y’know? A Protectron who doesn’t even know the name of Primm.

I don’t know how the residents of Primm choose their Sheriff in the ending I’m advocating and their the Sheriff is basically their head of state. I don’t know how McBain got the job, either. What I do know, is that them making that choice seems right to me. Return Primm to a pre-Powder Ganger government system. Undo the damage of the NCR on the town.

Sure, for the weeks or months between My Kind of Town and the Second Battle of Hoover Dam the town suffers under McGee and the NCR’s system, but after that, they reclaim their self-determination and while that means ‘ups and downs’, that freedom to actually choose as people, that matches my values the best of all the options.

One day I’m gonna look at all Primms endings, there’s some real interesting ones, but that’s for another time. I’ve expressed my probably odd idea on ‘the best option for Primm’, hopefully well enough for the perspective to be understood.

[911bts]

Season 7 Writers Room

The active writers for season 7 are: Tim Minear Juan Carlos Coto Andrew Meyers Lyndsey Beaulieu Taylor Wong Nicole Barraza Keim Bradley Marques Below is what they previously wrote for the show/upcoming episodes:

Tim Minear: 1x01 "Pilot" (w/ Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk) 1x02 "Let Go" (w/ Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk) 1x10 "A Whole New You" (w/ Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk) 2x01 "Under Pressure" (w/ Brad Falchuk) 2x03 "Help Is Not Coming" (w/ Zachary Reiter) 2x11 "New Beginnings" (w/ Kristen Reidel) 2x18 "The Life We Choose" 5x01 "Panic" (w/ Juan Carlos Coto) 7x01 "Abandon 'Ships"

7x06 "There Goes The Groom" (w/ Nicole Barraza Keim)

Juan Carlos Coto: 2x06 "Dosed" 2x14 "Broken" 3x02 "Sink or Swim" 3x09 "Fallout" 3x13 "Pinned" (w/ Nadia Abass-Madden) 3x18 "What's Next?" (w/ Kristen Reidel) 4x01 "The New Abnormal" 4x05 "Buck Begins" 5x01 "Panic" (w/ Tim Minear) 5x13 "Fear-O-Phobia" (w/ Andrew Meyers) 5x16 "May Day" 6x02 "Crash and Learn" 6x10 "In A Flash" 6x17 "Love Is In The Air"

7x02 "Rock the Boat" (w/ Lyndsey Beaulieu) 7x03 "Capsized" (w/ Lyndsey Beaulieu) 7x08 (doesn't have a public title) (w/Bradley Marques)

Andrew Meyers: 2x15 "Ocean's 9-1-1" 3x10 "Christmas Spirit" 3x12 "Fools" 3x14 "The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1" (w/ Nadia Abass-Madden) 4x03 "Future Tense" 4x09 "Blindsided" 4x13 "Suspicion" (w/ Lyndsey Beaulieu) 5x02 "Desperate Times" (w/ Lyndsey Beaulieu) 5x06 "Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1" 5x13 "Fear-O-Phobia" (w/ Juan Carlos Coto) 6x01 "Let The Games Begin" 6x08 "9-1-1, What's Your Fantasy?" 6x12 "Recovery" 6x18 "Pay It Forward" (w/ Nicole Barraza Keim)

7x04 "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" (w/ Bradley Marques)

Lyndsey Beaulieu: 3x05 "Rage" 3x11 "Seize the Day" 3x17 "Powerless" (w/ Kristen Reidel) 4x02 "Alone Together" 4x10 "Parenthood" 4x13 "Suspicion" (w/ Andrew Meyers) 5x02 "Desperate Times" (w/ Andrew Meyers) 5x10 "Wrapped in Red" (w/ Nadia Abass-Madden) 5x12 "Boston" 6x03 "The Devil You Know" 6x10 "In Another Life" 6x16 "Lost and Found"

7x02 "Rock the Boat" (w/ Juan Carlos Coto) 7x03 "Capsized" (w/ Juan Carlos Coto) 7x05 "You Don't Know Me" (w/ Taylor Wong)

Taylor Wong: 4x06 "Jinx" 5x08 "Defend in Place" 5x14 "Dumb Luck" 6x07 "Cursed" 6x15 "Death and Taxes"

7x05 "You Don't Know Me" (w/ Lyndsey Beaulieu)

Nicole Barraza Keim: 5x15 "FOMO" 6x06 "Tomorrow" 6x09 "Red Flag" 6x18 "Pay It Forward" (w/ Andrew Meyers)

7x06 "There Goes The Groom" (w/ Tim Minear)

Bradley Marques:

7x04 "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" (w/ Andrew Meyers) 7x08 (doesn't have a public title) (w/ Juan Carlos Coto)

[bambi-kinos]

Why do people perceive John's love for Paul as unrequited? I confess that I fail to grasp this perspective. Paul is absolutely infatuated with John in every sense of the word. The difference between him and John, as Paul himself has stated, is that John voices his feelings out loud, while Paul excels at self-preservation; he knows how to navigate the rules of society while also enjoying the thrill of breaking them.

For the same reasons why Hanya Yanagihara wrote her eye wateringly boring novel "A Little Life." In "A Little Life" Yanagihara writes a Stephanie Meyer-esque novel about boys being turned gay via SA perpetuated by adult men and how they eventually grow up and become super rich and also they all have vague disabilities that cause a lot of pain but never get full definition because defining them would be inconvenient to the narrative. (Disabilities are debilitating and Yanagihara wanted to write about Sad Boys Who Were Turned Gay By Child Rape But Also They Are Rich And Go On Globe Trotting Vacations Everywhere All The Time While Being Depressed.) The point of "A Little Life" is not to tell a Sad Gay Man Story about the fallout from CSA, it is to depict a sexually exploitive miseryfest that uses disability as a way to pad the word count and add a layer of fancy fondant to the masturbatory and self indulgent text that makes it look more interesting than it is.

I bring this up because I think the phenomenon are related. There has never been a good justification for why Paul is magically indifferent or blind to John being a gay simp especially when you have so many examples of Paul being a gay simp for John in return. BUT it does make for an even sadder and more exploitive miseryfest where a Sad Gay Man died Forever Alone because he was so in love with a Happy Heterosexual Man who could never Return His Love and that is what a lot of people want. That's the only reason the narrative has any steam IMO.

It's just trying to make a sad story and make it even worse: more sad, more tragic, more gay, etc. If John and Paul were mutually attracted and in love with each other than that means they may have had stretches where they were happy together and that's unacceptable to a certain kind of mind. Because the point is the emotional and sexual gratification of seeing a Sad Gay Man Suffering, not to respect the Sad Gay Man and his story and the events and decisions that lead to his predicament. If Paul reciprocates John's love then the John and Paul love story turns into a mundane tale about a first marriage that started out happy but didn't work out because the two spouses grew apart over time. The point of "A Little Life" is the same, there's nothing genuine or cathartic about the Sad Gay Men or the Sad Painful Disabilities, they only exist so the author can circlejerk with her readers about how enlightened and noble they are. Needing the misery becomes all consuming to the point that entire rest of the story, the three dimensional nature of it, gets destroyed and swept under the rug. It's too real and some people just don't want to engage with that.

There's a mundanity to McLennon. Yes there was all sorts of stuff happening but at the end of the day they were just another couple trying to muddle through life together. The soulmate-ness of it all didn't save them when push came to shove. There wasn't a clear path forward for them to make up and get back together even as friends. This is much harder to bear for some people because it shows how the simple act of living your life can carry you away from the person who loves you most. John and Paul found each other but they still drifted apart eventually and stopped wanting to be together. The romance novel didn't end with "happily ever after." The fact that it was so relatable and downright boring is something a lot of people don't want to know or hear about. How can they jerk off to it? It's not miserable or indulgent enough.

Reducing their dynamic to Sad Gay Man Who Is Forever Alone and his Evil Oblivious Heterosexual Partner Who is Blind To His Yearning flattens it, makes it two dimensional, and thus makes it a lot easier to cope with and masturbate to, emotionally and sexually. And look there may be some people who genuinely believe this and don't type that narrative out with one hand, but they're outliers and outliers get discarded.

[tumbleweed-writes]

Death and the Lady: Chibs Telford X Reader: Chapter Three

Chapter Two found HERE

Chapter Three: Roses

She was almost amazed she’d managed to keep her cool after the horrible deed she’d just completed for SAMCRO. Y/N was astonished she’d been so calm and cool throughout both the task and the aftermath.

She’d been able to maintain the appearance of a competent, professional, and caring funeral director as she’d worked helping show possible options for caskets, discussed burial plots, cost of embalming, an obituary, flower arrangements, and viewings. 

One of Charming California’s most prominent restaurateurs, Jonathan Meyer, had not noticed anything amiss as he’d spoken with Y/N about funeral arrangements for his late grandmother. 

No one would be none the wiser about the fact that three members of SAMCRO had just recently been in her place of business and retrieved a corpse from Y/N. She cringed knowing that there would be a buried empty casket by this time next week and the dead man’s family would never know. No one would ever know aside from SAMCRO and her. The secret would be literally six feet under in Charming’s local cemetery. 

The thought sent a chill down her spine but based on her outside appearance and behavior no one would ever guess. 

Y/N had always been gifted at compartmentalizing her emotions and thoughts. It was a necessary skill set in her line of work. One couldn’t allow negative emotions of grief or any other feelings to cloud the ability to get the job done when it came both to embalming the deceased and conducting a successful funeral service.

 She was worryingly a professional when it came to being able to shove the horrid mixture of guilt, shame, and fear back into some little drawer in her brain and keep the appearance of a professional whose only care in the world was serving the bereaved. 

Now that she was truly all alone in her office downstairs, Y/N found her brain taunting her with possibilities of just why SAMCRO even wanted two corpses from her to begin with. It was a disturbing request and one that she’d honored.

To be honest she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know just what the MC wanted with the dead bodies she’d provided. She had a feeling knowing just what they’d wanted with them would only trouble her further. 

It was getting late and so far she’d not heard a word from SAMCRO. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or troubled by the silence.

Though she knew that she should go upstairs and try to wind down from the day, she found herself parked at her desk trapped in a pit of selfpity and anguish. 

Her brain taunted her with the distinct possibility of SAMCRO being caught doing whatever the hell it was they were doing, and this all leading right back to her doorstep. She knew if any of this led back to her then the fallout would be ruinous. 

It was more than just the fear of a fine or fear of possibly being arrested. It was the fear of everything she’d lose if the discovery of this horrible deed led back to her front steps. 

She knew if any of this led back to her then she’d lose literally everything she held dear and had fought to achieve. She would not only lose the respect of the community, her entire livelihood, and possibly even the home and business she’d wanted so badly to preserve. 

The years of schooling, a hard earned apprenticeship, time spent studying and testing for licensure both in New York and California would be meaningless. 

She’d lose her license and this would mean losing the family legacy she’d tried so hard to upkeep.

It wasn’t just the guilt of what she’d done and the fear of being caught that troubled her. It was the realization that Jackson freaking Teller had somehow wormed his way back into her life bringing SAMCRO right along with him.

She cringed, hating the sense that she felt as though was right back where she’d started almost a decade before. She was back to once again being entangled in SAMCRO’s world. It was a world she’d thought she’d moved on from.

She had foolishly thought the MC was a thing of her past. She wasn’t partying alongside them anymore, but she was working with them. She wasn’t sure which scenario felt worse.

She glared up at an old black and white photograph hanging on the wall in her office, the photo featuring some great grandfather of hers way back when standing by an ancient looking hearse. She felt the words slide from her lips, filled with bitterness. “I bet you never had to deal with this kind of crap when this place and gig was yours.”

She slumped back in her desk chair, her stomach and heart twisting when she spotted a small photo she kept framed on her desk. The photo of her father and she sat almost taunting her. It had been taken soon after she’d graduated from mortuary school. Her father had been so proud of her; proud she’d taken up the family legacy on her own terms and so proud she’d outgrown her wild streak running around with Jax Teller and SAMCRO.

She felt her eyes water she quick to reach up and wipe any tears that threatened to spill. A sense of shame washed over her as her mind taunted her wondering what her father would think of her now.

Her father and she may have butted heads when she’d been a rebellious teen, but she’d loved him dearly.

She missed him dearly. It had only been four months since he’d passed and to be honest she’d thrown herself into taking up the family business. Throwing herself into the family business and all the debt and dealing with her brother was far easier than facing her feelings of loss and pain. 

She’d always admired her father. It wasn’t just his dedication to the profession that she’d loved. It was everything about her dad.

Her father had been a handsome man, though a bear of a man if there ever was one. He was tall and broad shouldered. He was strong, incredibly so not just physically but mentally. 

She knew she’d gotten her smaller build from her late mother. 

Her father and her brother though both were practical lumberjacks. 

Seeing younger photos of her father made her easily understand just why her mother must have fallen for him.

Her father was handsome, strong, dependable, loyal, and proud of a profession that he viewed as being more of a service and duty to his community. 

She’d always found it a little funny. Her father, as huge and intimidating as he appeared, was so mild-mannered and calm.

He’d been a gentle parent even when she’d been going through her rebellious phase and probably needed a bit of a tougher hand. Her father had been so patient of her even offering her an escape when it had all become too much. 

Her father had taught her everything he knew about the family business. He’d started her young, being frank with her about just what the family business consisted of.

She’d still been a kid when he’d brought her downstairs and showed her the tools of the trade. 

It wasn’t until she was an adult that she’d realized that this seemingly charming, at least to her, childhood memory horrified people when she recalled it.

She guessed she got the reaction. People assumed her father had been some kind of sadist trying to torment a child far too young by exposing her both to death and the funeral business. 

She knew though that it had been more of her father’s attempt to bond with her. It was the only way he knew how to bond with his children after his wife’s death.

Most kids' dads taught them to play baseball and change oil in a car. Her dad taught her about embalming and how to change the oil in a hearse.

She knew most people would never understand the comfort she’d found surrounded by death. It was all she’d ever known after all. 

Her core memories consisted of mourners trailing in and out of the home, the fact that caskets were displayed on the first floor of her home, corpses could be found in the basement, and the realization that everyone died. 

Her father had always taught her not to fear death. The biggest lesson she’d learned was that though everyone died; dying was nothing to dread. Death was inevitable and no one could say for sure what laid beyond death. One should never spend their lives fearing the end though. If anything one should be amazed that death gave the opportunity to appreciate how beautiful life truly was. Her father had taught her that although she would die one day that she should be in awe of the fact that anyone even had the opportunity to live at all to begin with. 

During the past few years of his life her father and she had begun to have longer conversations at least once a week. They’d had much needed heart to hearts admitting mistakes they’d both made and regrets they both had.

She’d been able to hear that her father was proud of her. He was proud of the young woman she’d become.

She had been so proud of the woman she had become up until now. 

She’d been so proud that she’d turned over a new leaf and grown into a better person. This entire deal she’d made with the MC proved that she was not at all the better person she proclaimed to be.

She sighed, reaching up to toy with the small golden cross pendant hanging around her neck. 

Although she had been snarky with Jax, she could admit she was no woman scorned.

She knew way back when she was hanging around SAMCRO neither she nor Jax had any preconceived notions about just what she and he were doing. 

She had been looking for a place to rebel and an environment to escape how angry and miserable she felt and he’d been behaving just as the Prince of SAMCRO should.

She wasn’t bitter or angry about their history no matter how brief and messy it had been. 

She just hated the person she’d been back then. The girl she’d been almost ten years ago had hated everything and everyone. Most of all though, she’d hated herself.

She had looked in the mirror and had seen nothing but sadness in her features back then. 

Y/N hated who she was before.

She feared becoming that girl again, hating herself and seeing nothing but sorrow staring back at her in the mirror.

She felt her stomach twist all the further the words sliding from her lips as she tore her eyes from the photo of her father and she, the words soft . “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

She was pulled from her pity party as her cell phone chimed an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen. 

She answered the call trying to keep her voice level and peaceful as though she hadn’t been trapped in a cycle of dread. “Y/N speaking.”

“Y/N, jus the lass I was tryin to reach. Jackie Boy asked me to call ya up.” The voice on the other end of the call sounded out, it taking her brain a moment to both work through the thick Scottish accent and to realize just who was on the other end of the call.

She felt a nervous flutter in her stomach as it hit her just who she was speaking to. She could still remember the previous reaction her body had to the Scottish Son. It was something that both troubled her and excited her and she was trying to convince herself she hated it. 

She furrowed her brow, it hitting her that she didn’t even know the man’s name. No formal introductions had actually been made during the few interactions she’d had with SAMCRO lately. 

She widened her eyes as the voice sounded out again. “Y/N, lass? Are ya there?”

“I am…what can I do for you?” She remarked, snapping out of it almost dreading what response would be. 

She cringed remembering Jax’s comment about possibly needing to borrow her access to the crematorium later on. This was most likely what this call concerned.

She continued to toy with the cross pendant around her neck as the voice spoke up again. “Clay, I’m assumin ya know him…wants ta know if ya can give us access to the crematorium tomorrow nigh?”

She sighed hating that she was right on the money concerning just what this was about. “What time?”

“Late.” Was the only reply she earned.

She scoffed gazing down at the rich mahogany desktop in front of her. “How late?”

“After midnight, prolly close to bout one a.m. Keepin discreet is important.” The voice finally replied.

She glanced down at the time on her laptop, her stomach turning as she realized that it was getting late. She had a long night and a long day tomorrow that would apparently end with another long night. “Okay…I will need to be there to run the machinery…I’m not about to try to pull an innocent explanation out my ass if the damn thing got busted because I let one of you run it. I’m not coming up with a reasonable lie because some idiot screwed up an expensive piece of machinery. That thing costs a fortune and I’m not the only funeral home in the area that uses it. It’s owned by the city, local government owns the cemetery. Most of us don’t own an on site cremator so we all pay to use the thing.”

She was certain she almost heard a chuckle on the other end of the line. “Aye fair nough.”

She took a deep breath working up the nerve to say it. “I’ll expect payment of course, for my time and effort.”

The amusement still seemed to be clear in her conversation partner’s voice as he replied. “Aye o’course. Clay said yer gonna be paid well fer the favor an he appreciates yer willingness to help with future…needs.”

She felt her stomach turn it hitting her that she’d definitely set herself up for this. She had opened the door for future favors, so she shouldn’t be shocked. She needed the money badly enough to keep the door open for future favors. 

She cleared her throat trying to sound calmer than she felt. “Perfect…I’ll see you around one then.”

She paused, unable to stop herself from asking the curiosity too strong to ignore. “Uh…”

She frowned realizing she still didn’t know the Scot’s name. She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask now…it just felt too awkward given the conversation.

He thankfully heard the small sound she’d made. “Aye?”

She spoke knowing it was now or never. “Everything turned out okay…with you know? Uh…the cups of sugar. Nothing went wrong?”

Chibs snickered as it hit him exactly what she was hinting at, recalling her words to Jax as he’d first requested the bodies from her: you aren’t asking me to let you borrow a freaking cup of sugar here.

“Nah, no issues on our end love.” He remarked, deciding to leave out some of the more exciting details about just all that had happened today. What she didn’t know didn’t hurt her.

She felt her heart race at the word love. She pushed back the reaction it gave her. She ignored the slight flush to her cheeks and the voice in the back of her head that claimed she could get accustomed to being called love as she spoke. “Oh, uh…good to hear…I think.”

She frowned, hating how awkward she felt. She hated feeling as though the man on the other end of the call and the men he associated with had the upper hand here. 

“Aye, told ya it’d turn out. I don’t make a habit of lyin to pretty lasses.” Chibs was quick to reply the comment making her cheeks flush all the darker.

She spoke a small huff leaving her not missing the attempt to flirt. “I highly doubt that. I’ll see you gentlemen later, tomorrow night at the agreed time. Don’t be late…again.”

And with that she hung up ignoring the strange cocktail of fear, anxiety, shame, and desire for her caller that washed over her.

She groaned, dropping her cell on her desk. She took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart and the strange sense of lust perking up in her. This was so not what she needed. She refused to go down that path. She was not the girl who got all hot and bothered just because the intimidating biker was flirting…even if that intimidating biker did have a lovely accent and equally lovely eyes and dimples. 

She stared back up that same photo of her great grandfather that she’d gazed at earlier, a bitter sigh escaping her lips. “You so didn’t have to put up with this bullshit when the gig was yours.”

==================================================

Chibs smirked as he hung up his cell having to feel pleased as can be with himself even as she’d abruptly ended the call and hadn’t exactly responded to his attempts to flirt as eagerly as he’d hoped.

He had the distinct feeling Y/N was going to prove to be a challenge. It was a refreshing realization. The croweaters around the club were not a challenge. They required no effort at all.

He had to like the concept that Y/N was the kind of girl who required an effort. Although he could admit he found it intimidating.

It had been a long time since he had to put in effort when it came to a woman.

He could admit he found himself at a loss as to why he was so eager to put in the effort. 

The easiest answer he could pull together was that he found her fascinating and he was curious. 

He knew of course that curiosity killed the cat, but he’d never been one to shy away from the threat of being killed.

He was unable to resist saving the number to his contacts before he dropped the cell on the bar in front of him. 

He nodded to the croweater behind the bar as she eagerly poured him a glass of Jameson. 

Just a week ago he would have probably been tempted to drag the croweater away for a little bedroom entertainment, but he found himself disinterested in the concept.

He was surprised to find that there was only one woman he wouldn’t mind having some bedroom time with.

He easily found his brain remembering those curves and those legs of hers and how it was a damn shame those legs had been hidden under tights today. He wouldn’t mind having those legs wrapped around him. He also was quite able to vividly recall the incredible cleavage he’d spotted that first meeting in the crematorium. He would be quite happy to bury his face against that cleavage. He was certain he could die happy with his face buried there and the lower part of his anatomy buried in what lay between those glorious legs of hers. 

He shifted in his seat, the thought exciting him. He took a slow sip from his drink doing all he could to not allow his brain to slide down the rabbit hole of lust. 

He could remember Juice’s comment that Y/N was spooky but hot.

Chibs had to admit he found her to be less spooky though she did frighten him a little…or at least the thoughts he had about her frightened him.

Her job was intense to say the least, but Chibs had never been one to shy away from the intense. The morbid nature of her job didn’t trouble him as much as it probably should.

He was too entranced by her to pay too much thought to the fact that she embalmed and buried the dead for a living.

She was morbid but somehow tantalizing. She seemed elegant, confident, and intelligent. Those weren’t qualities he’d found with a woman he’d pursued since Fiona.

The thought was terrifying. 

He cringed at the thought of his estranged wife and the history related to her and he. There was a lot of pain there. It wasn’t a trip down memory lane he wanted to go down, not when he was currently infatuated with an entirely different woman.

He glanced up from his drink as Bobby dropped down beside him giving him a nod. “You get everything settled with her?”

“Aye, she’ll meet us tomorrow. She’ll run tha machinery at her insistence. We jus gotta bring the payment.” Chibs replied a small smirk crossing his features as he remembered her comment about just why she had to run the crematorium. 

He was once again amused that she was ballsy enough to be just a little insulting by essentially implying they were idiots who would break the cremator if she didn’t run it herself. He had a feeling he’d not exactly tolerate the disrespect from a woman who he didn’t fancy.

Bobby raised an eyebrow spotting the hint of a look he’d never seen on Chibs’ face before. He quickly connected the dots that the somewhat lovesick smirk on Chibs’ lips and the SONS new associate at the funeral home were connected.

He spoke, deciding to keep the comment casual. “Interesting having her back in town…Y/N. Thought she’d never show up again after she left.”

“Aye? How’d she leave?” Chibs replied, that spark of curiosity bubbling up in him again.

Bobby shrugged accepting his own drink from the croweater behind the bar. “Nothing too dramatic, not really my place to say. It seemed like she just stopped coming around one day, next thing anyone knows her dad shipped her out east. She was pretty young though. Shit just probably got to be too intense for her.”

Chibs dared to ask though he’d already asked Jax a similar question. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with the reply he’d gotten from Jax. “Aye, she mentioned bein a club hanground.”

He paused, gazing at the croweater uncertain of how to broach the subject. He spoke again, deciding to be a little more tactful even though he didn’t particularly care what the croweater thought about how the Sons viewed her. “Was she one of our Friday nigh lasses?”

Bobby shook his head, a small smirk crossing his lips. “Not exactly. To be honest I think most of the guys around here were intimidated by the fact that her daddy could bury us alive literally…a few nomads weren’t so wise but…like I said she wasn’t what you’re thinking. Shit was complicated.”

He paused the next statement only making Chibs feel more frustrated. “Not my story to tell though. It’s been almost a decade, pretty sure most of us who were around back then have killed a few brain cells since then to fully recall every last detail.”

Chibs resisted the urge to remark that he was sick of hearing that line: It’s not my story to tell.

Chibs shifted in his seat the conversation doing little to sate his curiosity. It only left him feeling more intrigued. He wanted to know just what was so complicated.

Y/N was definitely a puzzle he wanted to solve. He was determined to solve it.

—----------------------------------------------

Y/N was relieved to pull up to the crematorium late the next night to see that the SONS were actually on time.

It seemed that lateness was only a trait Jax Teller held.

She tried to keep her cool as she shut off her engine of her little black 2003 Acura and exited the car her purse held tight in her grasp.

She busied herself digging through the purse for the keys to access the crematorium as she approached the line of motorcycles and one unremarkable looking white van. She easily realized that a boring white van might be favorable for a more discreet task. After all, a van attracted far less attention than Harleys.

She cringed as another familiar Son approached her; she just as displeased to see him as she’d been to see Jax Teller. “Doll, can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

She gave Tig Trager one small glance before focusing back on the contents of her purse. “Don’t thank me.”

He held his hands up in mock defeat he fast to reply. “Still charming as always.”

“Same could be said for you.” She remarked fast to reply to the observation.

If her mood wasn’t sour enough another person she wasn’t entirely pleased with approached her. Jax speaking. “Thanks for the favor darlin”

“Don’t thank her.” Tig was fast to remark, parroting the words she’d said earlier.

She rolled her eyes not wanting to engage with either man. Though Tig and she didn’t exactly share the same history Jax and she shared, she was still not looking to chat like old times with the Son.

Chatting like old buddies with either man made her feel too much like the angry young woman she’d once been, the one who hated herself and didn’t care what happened to her. 

Chibs stood aside with Juice and Half Sack observing the exchange. He raised an eyebrow sensing Y/N’s sour mood.

He had a feeling it was about to get more bitter once she saw just why they needed access to the crematorium.

He approached Juice and Half Sack following along beside him. The prospect spoke nodding to her car. “You drive an Acura?”

She rolled her eyes as she finally located the necessary keys. “The hearse attracts too much attention…besides the casket I have in the back rattles around the backend when I drive. It’s kind of distracting.”

She felt a small sense of satisfaction when she noticed the young man’s face pale at the latter part of her statement. She’d found, as cruel as it was, that it was far too easy to screw around with people when they asked her stupid questions. 

It wasn’t exactly something she made a habit of. She usually prided herself in being able to make death and the funeral business less terrifying and intimidating to the average public. 

She had to enjoy making the members of SAMCRO feel uneasy though. It was kind of an ego trip seeing the definition of danger get nervous over some bullshit she told them about her job.

Chibs smirked, only allowing Half Sack to fret for a brief moment before he gave him a smack on the back of the head. “She’s fuckin with ya, ya half nutted muppet.”

She furrowed her brow not missing the half nutted comment. She shoved the question dancing around on the end of her tongue about this statement back telling herself she didn’t want to know.

She ignored the little playful smile Chibs tossed her way. She did her best to pretend she wasn’t reminded of the feelings that had washed over her during the phone call they’d shared the day before. 

The Scottish Son was an interesting one. She was finding it hard not to admit this to herself.

She spoke holding the keys up. “I’ll unlock the doors.”

She cringed her stomach dropping as Tig spoke nodding to both Half Sack and Juice. “Get the bodies.”

She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. Of course there were bodies. She wasn’t naive enough to think they needed to borrow her access to the cremator without there being bodies to cremate.

She felt bile rise in her throat refusing to question if she was considered some kind of accessory after the fact related to what she was about to help burn.

Wasn’t this considered destroying evidence?

Chibs entered the crematorium eyeing Y/N as she dropped her purse on the cabinet in the corner of the room she busying herself finding those thick black gloves he’d spotted on her hands that first day.

He watched her having to admit that he noticed the curve of her backside in the jeans she wore. He was pleased to see she wore another tight fitting pair of jeans. The black denim hugged her bottom and hips in a way that left Chibs feeling envious of the fabric.

He watched her shrug her soft looking plum hooded jacket off placing it over her purse. He admired the way the black top she wore gave him another view of clevage. He was also amused to spot those pink converse on her feet again.

He watched as she pulled a hair tie off from around her wrist pulling her hair up into a messy looking top knot.

He spoke unable to stop himself, wanting to soothe any anxiety she might have about the circumstances behind the bodies she was about to help cremate. He couldn’t help but to hate the thought of her thinking she was some kind of accessory to murder. “It was an accident…found em in…a property of ours that caught fire.”

She furrowed her brow wanting to ask if it was just an accident then why was it so important to get rid of these bodies?

She told herself it was probably not a great idea to ask too many questions. She had a feeling the Scotsman wouldn’t tell her the entire truth anyhow. 

She cringed not having time to focus on the thought as Half Sack and Juice entered the room carrying two bodies wrapped in old looking blankets.

She took a deep breath as she moved towards the cremator opening and pulling out the drawer nodding down to it. “Put them down here. We should be able to cremate both together…it might take longer but it’s doable.”

The men deposited the bodies stepping back Y/N left to glance down at them. She grimaced at the sight of the two bodies. They were young women from what she could see. They’d been dead for a few days she guessed by the level of decay.

It wasn’t the worst deceased body she’d seen, but the realization that she was about to cremate these two nameless women did send a chill through her.

She yanked her glance from them as Jax stepped forward distracting her. “We have your payment.”

She took the envelope not missing the heft of it. She resisted the urge to open it and count it the thought seeming cruel given what she was doing.

She placed the envelope within her purse unaware that Chibs was studying her he taking notice of the way she’d gazed down at the corpses and the hint of sympathy in her eyes.

He couldn’t help but to be troubled by it. It was a surprising realization; that it bothered him that she was upset doing something that would get the club out of a huge pile of shit.

He pushed the thought from his mind as he watched her work getting everything together.

She moved quickly just wanting to get this over with. The sooner this ended the sooner she could go home and probably have a sleepless night. She had a feeling she’d need a good shower and maybe a drink when she got home.

She pushed in the drawer mentally apologizing to the bodies she was about to cremate. She was certain this wasn’t their end of life plans. She was sure they were far too young to consider such plans.

She ignored thoughts of any family they might have left behind or any dreams they might never achieve.

She knew she had to compartmentalize those feelings and focus on the task at hand. 

The machine was started up Y/N speaking as she worked finding it easy to talk about what she was doing in a technical sense than to actually acknowledge how screwed up this all was. “It will take a moment to get to the right temp. It needs to reach up to at least 1,400 degrees fahrenheit to burn. We’ll probably want to go a little higher given that we’re…burning more. It might take up to three hours…that’s for one body though. I don’t know about more than that…It’s not legal to burn more than one at once honestly.”

She cleared her throat as she spoke again. “I’m going to have to just assume we’re going to be pushing the three hour mark considering that is usually the time it takes to cremate a heavier body.”

She stepped aside surprised that the Sons moved forward lining up in front of the machine. She was uncertain if they just wanted to be sure the job was being done or if they were actually paying their respects in some weird messed up way. 

She stood to the side not certain of what else she should do.

They stood in silence for a long while the entire situation feeling both surreal and daunting. 

Half Sack spoke as they gazed at the bodies within the crematorium. “Should we say a prayer or something?”

Juice snickered his comment earning a grimace from Y/N. “You know any bible passages about lost semen.”

Chibs took notice of the look of disapproval on Y/N’s features. He couldn’t help but to cringe himself it seemed his young brother wasn’t exactly making the best impression. He reached out smacking Juice’s shoulder harshly, the action wiping the smirk from the man’s lips.

Chibs resisted the urge to glance over at Y/N and check and see if she’d noticed his disapproval and was aware he wasn’t being as crude and disrespectful as his young associate. 

He was a bit surprised he cared so much what she thought of him especially in a situation like this. She probably already disapproved of them all.

He couldn’t help but to hate the thought that she might think he was disrespectful enough to not at least understand the gravity of what they were doing. This essentially was the only funeral these women would get. 

Tig spoke thankfully finding something to say that was a bit more respectful, a prayer leaving his lips. “May a ray of sunshine warm your souls amen.”

With that they stepped back enough to allow Y/N to move forward, shutting the door and turning up the heat, she doing her best to turn her mind off and not focus on how awful this all felt.

Time seemed to move far too slowly and no one seemed that concerned that they were clearly going to stand here the entire time it took to completely cremate the remains.

Everyone seemed to have the sense to not speak even Juice and Half Sack.

When it was clear that the bodies were getting closer and closer to being ashes Tig spoke. “We should go.”

Jax nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah.”

He turned to face Y/N fast to speak again. “Thanks for helping us. I know this wasn’t ideal.”

She shook her head a small bitter laugh leaving her not sounding humored at all. “Nope, not ideal.”

Jax spoke, giving her arm a gentle squeeze. “I can’t promise the next favor won’t be less shitty.”

She moved from his grasp crossing her arms over her chest, the act almost seeming as though she was trying to protect herself. Chibs took notice of it, surprised that he wanted to reach out and provide some reassurance.

She moved towards the cabinet she speaking over her shoulder. “I’ve got it from here boys.”

Everyone but Chibs seemed to take the hint, happy to be out of the crematorium and escape this entire situation.

Jax spoke over his shoulder as he moved to leave. “We really are grateful for the help, Y/N. You’re keeping us out of some deep shit.”

She sighed, shaking her head, her voice monotone, not seeming comforted by the thought that she was helping them escape what was most likely the consequences of their own actions. “Yeah, sure.”

She pushed back the judgment knowing deep down she wasn’t much better. She was accepting money for this. She wasn’t an angel.

Chibs didn’t speak until only they remained in the room. He cleared his throat nodding over to the cremator. “What are ya goin to do with tha ashes?”

She raised an eyebrow almost fearing he was testing her to see if she was going to run to the cops. She was tempted to point out the primary chemical elements that were in cremains were just calcium phosphate and sodium. No forensics team could pull any evidence from cremains.

She didn’t have a chance to dwell on fears that he was testing if she was likely to snitch as he spoke again. “I mean…we don’ know wha they woulda wanted. I imagine they were young nough not to think bout it.”

She shrugged her shoulders a bit surprised that he seemed to genuinely care. She’d almost expected him to disappear off into the night like his brothers and leave her to clean up what remained.

She spoke nodding her head towards the entrance of the crematorium. “There’s some old mausoleums out near one of the back corners of the property. They’re old as hell…the city uh they are responsible for maintaining the landscaping…so there’s rose bushes near them. It might be nice to bury the ashes under the roses. It’s at least some final resting place.”

Chibs nodded his head, a small half smile crossing his features, having to find it kind of endearing that she’d put this much thought into it. She really did have a passion for her job. “Aye, tha’ sounds nice…are ya doin it tonigh?”

“Yeah, probably shouldn’t do it during daylight. I think I can manage it tonight. I can figure out how to dig a hole.” She remarked not wanting to admit she wouldn’t be able to rest tonight until she’d done this.

A small part of her almost had to hope that providing a final resting place for the remains would at least make up for some of the horrible things she’d done over the past two days. 

Chibs took her by shock he speaking. “I’ll go with ya.”

She furrowed her brow a tiny paranoid part of her almost fearing that he’d off her once he’d gotten her alone. Maybe she’d been too pushy with the MC asking for payment. Maybe they were just going to get rid of her.

She shook the thought from her mind, reminding herself that she was still useful to SAMCRO. She was right, she was more reliable than Skeeter any day of the week.

Chibs spoke again, spotting the tiny hint of fear in her eyes, hating that she might fear him and believe he might intend to harm her. “Lotta homeless probably hang round this place at nigh. Can’t trust that someone with less morals won’t see ya and ya know.”

She cringed quickly coming up with a few scenarios that the you know seemed to imply.

“Okay, sounds good.” She remarked, turning her attention back to her work.

—----------

The two didn’t speak again until they reached the mausoleums Y/N had described. Chibs gazed up at them there was something eerie about them in the dark. He was relieved Y/N seemed to be smart enough to carry a little flashlight in her purse.

She handed the flashlight to him a small sigh leaving her lips. “Hold this while I dig.”

He was tempted to insist that he could be the one to dig the hole. It seemed to be the gentlemanly thing to do after all. He bit his tongue though having a feeling she wouldn’t allow him to do this.

This seemed a bit more personal to her judging by the look of sympathy he’d spotted in her eyes earlier. 

He stared up at the night sky being sure to keep the flashlight on her task. He spoke searching for anything to talk about. “Stars are at least nice out ere. Not nough street lights to fuck it up.”

She cleared her throat a little surprised by the choice in conversation. It seemed so casual after what had happened just a few hours ago. “Yeah, it’s nice.”

He spoke again searching for more to say. “Don’ have em like this back home.”

“Home?” She asked her curiosity peaking despite the voice that screeched at her not to get involved.

“Aye, in Glasgow…Belfast too…too many fuckin people in the city at least…too many lights. Out in the countryside though, that was some real stars, put these to shame.” He replied a small dreamy tone crossing his voice as he recalled the countryside.

“You’ve lived in both Scotland and Ireland?” She questioned. She was relieved that the conversation provided some distraction from her dread filled brain. She had to admit she was curious about how the Scotsman came to reside here of all places even if it was just related to his involvement with the Sons. 

She was comforted to have something else to focus on other than the fact that the new leaf she’d turned seemed to be dead. 

He spoke nodding his head. “Aye, born and raised in Glasgow, moved to Belfast when I was sixteen.”

“You’re a long way from there.” She remarked, cringing at the comment knowing the move most likely had something to do with the criminal element surrounding the man she was speaking with. It probably wasn’t wise to bring it up.

Chibs felt his heart twist the same way it often then when he was reminded of what had forced him from Belfast in the end. “Aye…it was an adjustment…The states aint all that bad…even became a citizen a few years back…figured it was easier than maintainin’ a work visa.”

She nodded her head not entirely familiar with immigration laws or how citizenship worked. It wasn’t something she’d really experienced. 

She spoke as he continued to dig. “The furthest I’ve been is New York. I moved there for mortuary school…lived there for a while. Never left the United States though. I have always wanted to, but dead people don’t tend to care about vacation plans and travels not in my budget most of the time.”

She felt her stomach turn at the mention of her budget considering she’d just been paid twice to do some questionable things by the associates of the man she was speaking with so casually.

She spoke again, shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe someday. I wouldn’t mind seeing the stars you’re praising.”

“Aye, ya won’t regret it.” Chibs was fast to reply, a small smile crossing his features relieved the conversation seemed to be flowing so easily.

For someone who had given SAMCRO nothing but sass, there seemed to be something kind of sweet and lovely about this conversation they were having one on one. He wouldn’t mind experiencing more of it.

She spoke again, satisfied with the depth of the hole she’d dug. “This should work. I think I got it wide and deep enough.”

Chibs felt a small sense of disappointment wash over him at the realization that he was about to no longer have an excuse to be near her. 

He hid his disappointment as she placed the plastic baggie containing the cremains down in the hole working quickly to cover it. 

He parted his lips wanting to say more to her, wanting to say anything to keep her here by his side.

He felt the words die on his lips as she stood up wiping the dirt from her jeans. She spoke, taking the flashlight from him. She was thankful it was dark enough that he didn’t notice her cheeks flush as her fingers brushed against his. “Thank you for holding it.”

He took notice of the softness of her hands. He had to wonder just what other parts of her were soft. “Aye, glad ta help.”

She spoke, taking a deep breath, a bit of the weight of shame she’d felt lifting just the slightest. She knew the small act of giving the remains a final resting place wouldn’t make up for the two bodies she’d given SAMCRO, but at least she might be able to feel that she wasn’t entirely a terrible person. “Thank you for…watching over me and keeping me company.”

“Aye, anytime lass.” He replied, causing her to let out a small laugh though this one didn’t sound as humorless as the laugh she’d given Jax earlier.

“No offense, but I hope it isn’t anytime. I don’t mind talking with you, but I’d prefer the next time to not be while I’m burying remains I illegally cremated.”

He smirked both at the comment and the implication she might enjoy talking with him. 

He was fast to bring it up. “Aye, so ya like talkin to me?”

She let out a huff rolling her eyes though she didn’t stop the small smile from crossing her lips her cheeks flushing darker. “Shut up.”

He smirked, satisfied that she didn’t have a more clever comeback.

She spoke again, shaking her head. “I’ll see you around…uh?”

He furrowed his brow, it hitting him; they'd never been entirely properly introduced.

He was surprised by the words that left him not choosing the club nickname he’d long gone by but his legal first name. “Filip.”

She nodded her head. “Goodnight, Filip.”

He spoke as he watched her step forward intending on parting ways. “Aye, goodnigh lass. I’ll see ya around.”

[grimgiggles]

Sigh.

I dislike jumping into discourses as contentious and subjective and BIG as the discourse over Ludinus' conversation with BH in the last episode, but there is a point that I haven't seen anyone making (idk, maybe people have been making it and I just haven't seen it) about his side of the argument, and I think it's worth consideration.

Ludinus values being right over being good.

Most people are thinking one of two things right now:

1. Yes, obviously, so?

2. What's the difference?

Let me put it another way: Ludinus values being correct over being kind. To him, Truth is more important than Compassion. He is the kind of person for whom a hard, blunt truth is a greater expression of love than any expression of softness or gentleness that is not 100% true. I hope that clarifies it.

At this point I want to make it clear that nothing that follows is a justification of Ludinus' actions, or an attempt to make him more sympathetic or anything. This is all exposition and analysis, on my part.

So, when I listened to his conversation with BH, I did not hear him trying to justify his own actions while condemning the gods' very same actions, and I didn't hear him trying to deflect blame for the wrongs he has done or that others have done for him. He admitted that he had done much wrong in pursuit of his goal. He knows the (many different) kinds of people he works with. He knows that there are parallels between him and his enemies (the gods), he KNOWS that he isn't the Good Guy (none of this matters to him). Every time it sounded (because that's what people expected to hear) like he was defending himself, what I heard was factual correction. He wants people to get their details straight. Because that's Truth.

But he believes, he KNOWS (and we don't know if he's right or wrong) that if he accomplishes his goals, everyone in the world will be, on balance, better off for it. For him, this is a labor of love (and sure, it's also motivated by hatred for the gods born from trauma, the two things aren't mutually exclusive). It's a very non-personal, universal - you could even say clinical - kind of love, but it is love.

But (and I know this from experience) it is SO difficult to convey earnest conviction and humility at the same time. It is almost impossible to say "I know I've hurt people and I know that's bad but I swear I swear I SWEAR I am doing this FOR you please LISTEN to me" without coming across exactly the way that Ludinus does: as a villain trying to justify himself. And he knows this, so he doesn't bother trying to make himself look like the Good Guy (again, he doesn't care about being Good, he cares about being Right), even while he DOES try to present his case in a way that he hopes will be understood.

He IS a villain, to be clear.

He has fallen into the classic INTJ villain trap (whaaaat meyers-briggs? In my meta? BTW this is a legitimate mbti stereotype, it's kind of messed up), which goes:

1. The INTJ experiences grief.

2. The INTJ identifies the cause of their suffering as a universal cause of suffering.

3. The INTJ processes their grief by intellectualizing it and devising a way to eliminate the cause of suffering completely, forever. They see this as not only personally cathartic but an act of service to everyone.

4. The INTJ gets tunnel vision about their goals.

5. The INTJ's methods hurt people, which forms an opposition to their goals.

6. Attempts at peaceful resolution fail because the INTJ is usually quite bad at connecting to people and making themselves understood on an emotional level (despite usually being very good at understanding, at least on a surface level, the motivations of others), and most other people simply don't even realize that they are not understanding.

7. One party or the other succeeds, usually with disastrous fallout for both sides. The only way to prevent this is to make a strong personal emotional connection with the INTJ - which is extremely difficult because the grief back in step 1 caused them to retreat WAY behind walls of Intellect, Pragmatism, and Cynicism - and through that connection remind them that actually the ends don't justify the means.

The other thing that makes Ludinus a villain is that he wants to commit genocide (technically he wants to enable genocide). He wants to eliminate an entire population of entities who are, he even conceded himself, basically just people. And he's okay with that, because it will, in his mind, be a net benefit for everyone else, and because in a truly wild subversion, he sees the gods as less than people. His hatred of the gods has morphed in his mind into a weird doctrine of mortal supremacism. He may or may not (personally I'm leaning toward probably not) be Correct about what will happen if he succeeds, but he is Wrong either way.

I digress. I veered a little off my point there, just to make it absolutely clear that I do not agree with Ludinus. He is a Bad Guy who must be Stopped.

We just saw step 6 fail, predictably, because BH and Ludinus spent the whole time talking at cross-purposes. Imogen probably got closest to actually communicating meaningfully with him, with her line of questioning on Predathos, but she didn't get very far because he has no reason to trust her with everything he knows. They were just fishing for more information, and he was just fishing for angles to hook a vessel.

My point is this: that conversation in Aeor was nothing. BH did not score any points, and neither did Ludinus (although he came pretty close with his little trick with Delilah, and he got away with the orb). Neither party came any closer to actually understanding the other or making themselves understood.

All these posts going around celebrating how BH "got him" or whatever are completely.

Misunderstanding.

Ludinus.

And so is BH.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What are your favourite “Bella” moments from either your fics or the source material

My top ten Bella Swan decisions from canon.

Beyond that I love Bella deciding Jessica's the worst after the movie adventure for not wanting to hang out with her anymore, Bella's "I'll make it so my dad isn't traumatized by my disappearance" speech during the James debacle which is "I hate you dad and I'm running away!", her impassioned Switzerland speech that she honestly thinks will make the shapeshifters and Cullens get along with one another, Bella's "you're killing my buzz" when Edward's panicking post sex because she looks like she's been beaten with a baseball bat and Bella's trying to tell him it was the single greatest night of her life, Bella's speech to Jacob that "I can totally have sex with my vampire husband like any normal person" and not blinking an eye with the wolves have to literally drag him screaming out of her wedding reception, and well basically every moment.

Bella's a fucking delight and honestly, I am but a humble apprentice who cannot capture the sheer insanity of Bella Swan compared to the master of Stephanie Meyer.

I try and always fall short.

But from fics (hijacking from my and @therealvinelle's cowritten stuff as well)

Bella the Sad Fucking Clown from Blue Moon

Bella thinks she's having sex with Edward, that he's inviting her to his house to have sex or at least get closer to having sex. Bella takes this very seriously and decides to make herself look sexy with makeup. Trouble is, Bella has 0 experience applying makeup and ends up looking like a clown.

The worse trouble is that Edward wasn't there to have sexy with Bella: the plan is Bella's now having sex with his father.

Bella gets dropped off by Edward to fuck his dad while dressed as a sad sad clown.

(She decides to have rebound sex anyway and convinces Carlisle into this by being too pathetic to function.)

Bella I Need to Pass My Classes but Oh No I Put in No Effort from Painting Red Madonnas

Bella fucks up and signs up for the wrong class. Bella then proceeds to forget she's actually taking the class and ends up failing it both to her absurd lack of talent as well as the fact that she stopped doing any work in class.

She then proceeds to move in with the aliens so she can... save Marcus... maybe... it's unclear.

Bella the Aliens Want Me to Get Pregnant from The Less Than Immaculate Conception (by me and @therealvinelle)

Bella concludes from Marcus being in the right roman baths (while Bella's in the wrong one) that Marcus must want to sleep with her because his alien overlords want to study human intercourse/get her pregnant with a weird mutant alien baby.

Bella decides this is a great idea and proceeds to have sex with Marcus.

Marcus thinks she wants sex because she's a virgin and her only other option are creepy dudes at frat parties.

Bella Everyone Killed Jacob from And Then There Were None (by me and @therealvinelle)

Unable to cope with the idea of parting with Jacob or Jacob's suspiciously timed death, Bella proceeds to blame her entire family, including Edward, and murders them all. When she's shown proof that her family did not, in fact, murder Jacob and it was all a tragic accident she decides that they made her kill them because they made her think they killed Jacob.

She then proceeds to kill everyone else for killing Jacob.

Bella's Impassioned Speech from For the Love of a Woman (bu me and @therealvinelle)

At the end of the story Bella has learned things about not letting your romantic relationships define you. She's learned so many things. She's also learned that being hot and a vampire is amazing and solved all her problems.

She kind of lost the thread of that speech somewhere in there.

Bella "Let's Form a Polycule" and "Jacob, I've Come Up with a Brilliant Plan to Murder Esme" in Leech in the Rain (by me and @therealvinelle)

In the emotional fallout of Bleach on the Brain (by @therealvinelle) Bella looks to Jacob for emotional support as Edward... isn't doing so well. She decides that she and Jacob and Edward have always been in a polycule because uh emotions and needing each other and emotions. Bella convinces exactly 0 people that this is a legitimate and non-toxic relationship. Bonus points that Carlie gets to hear about this from Renee.

Also a winner, Bella's plan to kill Esme that backfires horribly when Jacob ends up dying instead.

Bella "I'm in Love with Hong Bellamy" from The Seventh Seal

Bella decides she's in love with what, to her, looks like a supernatural god-like pretty boy who can tell the future among other things. She's actually fallen in love with an almost personalityless alien, derived from her own soul, who is sick and tired of her bullshit and just wants to make a baby in a cave.

Bella then gets upset when said alien doesn't tell her the truth about being an alien but later elopes with him and becomes a vampire (much to Carlisle's infinite distress).

Bella "Renesmee is Really Ruining this Vacation" from Last Christmas (by me and @therealvinelle)

Bella loses her three-year-old daughter at the airport, said daughter is then held hostage by the Volturi. Bella decides this is all Renesmee's fault, she clearly wanted to be lost then kidnapped, and that she's singlehandedly destroying the family out of her self-centered actions.

Bella "I'm Not Cheating on Edward" and "Oh my god, does Edward actually love me?!" from Dark Fantasies/Writhing Coils (by me and @therealvinelle)

Upon realizing she's been bamboozled by a shapeshifting tentacle hentai monster, Bella has to justify to herself whether or not this was cheating and decides it's not because she's helping a poor creature and the Cullens would definitely do the same if informed. For a variety of reasons, the Cullens don't get informed, Edward makes Hentai monster's acquaintance and Bella then wonders given Edward's response if he's actually attracted to her at all. She then slides into a deep depression where she dislikes the tentacle monster (she quickly forgets about this the next time she and tentacle monster meet but not before she explodes with tentacle hentai squid larvae)

Bella's "Carlisle is wrong! Sex is amazing!" and "Maybe Carlisle was right :/ Sex kind of sucks" from Prima Nocta (by me and @therealvinelle)

Bella and Edward get talked into sleeping with Tanya and Eleazar. Bella briefly feels very liberated and sexually awakened and is appalled that Edward's curmudgeny unenlightened father is upset about this. Later, Eleazar sleeps with Edward in front of her roleplaying as Edward and Carlisle (Bella is a sexy lamp) and Bella's feelings do an abrupt one-eighty.

[theliterarywolf]

Animated Twilight means we get to relive the Shipping Wars, and the fallout from the insane way the story resolves the love triangle again, in real time!

We're going back to the Dark Ages! The War of All Against All!

It's gonna be beautiful...

Oh, yes!

Shipping Discourse on one side!

The knowledge of Meyer's subtle-not-subtle inserts of Mormon doctrine and not-great views of indigenous peoples on the other!

[beardedmrbean]

The former Kansas police chief who led the raid on a newspaper will be charged with interfering with the judicial process, special prosecutors announced Monday.

The charge against Gideon Cody will be filed in Marion County District Court, according to a report by Sedgwick County District Attorney Marc Bennett and Riley County Attorney Barry Wilkerson.

The two were appointed to review the Aug. 11 raid at the Marion County Record. The investigation generated nearly 10,000 pages of documents.

The 124-page report analyzes the execution of the search warrants at the newspaper and the fallout after the raid, which drew international condemnation. The anticipated charge appears centered on text messages exchanged between Cody and Kari Newell, a local business owner, following the raid.

Searches were also conducted at the home of the newspaper’s publishers, Joan Meyer and her son Eric Meyer. Joan Meyer, 98, died the next day.

The report acknowledged that Joan Meyer was extremely upset by the searches and may not have died Aug. 12 if the raids had not been carried out. But the prosecutors concluded that the officers were not criminally responsible for her death.

The warrant was withdrawn the next week by the local prosecutor who found there was “insufficient evidence.”

Reached by phone on Monday morning, Eric Meyer said it was too early for him to react because he was still reading the report.

Cody did not return a voicemail seeking comment. Cody, a former Kansas City police officer, resigned from the Marion Police Department in the weeks after the raid.

Several lawsuits were filed in the wake of the raid.

[concerningwolves]

Beta reader call

The Blood Enigma is a contemporary paranormal fantasy novel featuring folklore in a modern setting, found family, not-actually-vampires, and the fallout from political intrigue.

Remy Ekhart is a bitterblood: once human, now transformed by vampire blood into something neither dead nor alive. His status as a dead man walking was further cemented seventy years ago when he faked his own death, withdrawing from the world of vampire politics for the sake of his loved ones and his own sanity.

It's a status he should keep, but urged by his sister Thea's pleas and a guilty conscience, Remy agrees to be the getaway driver in a rescue mission. It was never supposed to be a high-risk job, but he suddenly finds himself on the run and in sole charge of Elodie, a child of mysterious origins and even more mysterious abilities. Their one ally is the enigmatic Darren Bell, whose strange faerie magic and dimpled smiles are threatening to break down every barrier Remy has put up to shield himself. With the merciless beast of supernatural politics nipping at their heels, Remy soon realises he is Elodie's one hope at safety – but without access to more vampire blood to sustain him, his time is fast running out.

About the Beta-Reading Process

Novel length: 111,265 words (for reference, that's a little shorter than Northern Lights by Philip Pullman or Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, and a little longer than Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

Applications close: Sunday 28th May

Beta Reading starts: Thursday 1st June

Deadline: Friday 30th June, with an extended deadline of Friday 14th July for those who need it.

The purpose of this beta-reading round is to assess strength of large-scale story aspects like:

plot

pace

characterisation

worldbuilding.

(Or, to put it another way: I'm not currently interested in critique on the prose, spelling, or other "small-scale" technical aspects).

The process will work like this:

Applications close on Sunday 28th May

Everyone who applied will hear from me on Tuesday 30th May

Accepted applicants will receive a link to two Google Docs (split the novel to prevent Docs from lagging), and then they can provide feedback in whatever way they like.

(Currently, there will be options to fill in feedback forms, make in-line comments, or leave notes.)

Access to the document will be closed on Friday 14th July.

If you're in interested in beta-reading, here's the beta reader application form

You can also read TBE's first chapters for free, if you'd like to get a taste for the story beforehand.

(taglists under the cut)

@sleepy-and-anxious @theguildedtypewriter  @pheita @dareyoutoread-blog @gingerly-writing @danafaithwriting @d-b-rayne @anaestheticdisaster @siarven @thewritingcaddy @purpleshadows1989 @wortfinder @kayemoriarty @prettylittlelyres @kriss-the-writing-nerd @rainy-rose @magicalwriting @shayberri789 @alternativeforensicscientist @beanenigma @cometkov @lovelycarose @mz-elysium @sorcerersage

@an-elegant-void @weaver-of-fantasies-and-fables @zenithsys @horrormama

[fnvminorcharacterpoll]

FNV Minor Character Poll - Round 1-B, Day 8

Left: Meyers, former prisoner at NCR Correctional Facility and potential new sheriff of Primm. —"I was a sheriff [before I was incarcerated], believe it or not, for a small town far to the west of here. The short version is that sometimes justice is a little slow, and I helped speed it up one too many times. I'm not sorry for anything I did, but I will do the time. Fair enough trade, if you ask me."

Right: Cpl. William Farber, mess officer for the NCR at Camp McCarran. —"Well, we haven't had any quality meat in months. Everyone in the camp just eating beans for protein… It isn't pretty.

Designated cheerleaders were not available for this match-up.

[Bracket | Info & FAQs | Become a Designated Cheerleader]