#falice is canon

[darklinaforever]

Daemyra = I support pedophilia, grooming and physical abuse.

Zutara = I support colonizer x colonized relations.

Sylki = I support incest with oneself.

Charlastor / Radiobelle = I erase the canonical sexuality of the characters.

Reylo = I support the Nazis !

Darklina / Alarkling = I support a pedophile, a groomer, a pro-genocide and child killer in his spare time.

Sareth = I support pedophilia !

Sessrin / Sesshrin = I support pedophilia, and grooming.

Persades = I support kidnapping, rape and forced marriages.

Wyler / Weyler = I support psychopathic serial killers ! And grooming too ! (Because apparently for some Tyler is an adult and not a teenager as he is canonically in the series...)

This is usually what I get insulted about for loving these relationships... and it's just bullshit.

Daemyra is not grooming and pedophilia, book and show, I have already explained countless times why and I won't do it again here. And Daemon do not abuse physically Rhaenyra in Fire and Blood.

Zutara is not a relationship of a colonizer with a colonized person. Zuko himself is not a colonizer and the people of Katara were never colonized by the Fire Nation.

Sylki is not a true incestuous relationship, especially not with yourself. Sylki is not shown and characterized as truly the same person but as different people with the same role in the universe.

I'm not erasing the canonical sexuality of Charlastor / Radiobelle by shipping them into the context of fanon.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is not a Nazi, I also already explained why. Essentially he has no ideology of his own and has been manipulated since his fetus by hearing voices in his head 24/7 again today, and above all the defenders against grooming keep quiet this time ironically, since Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is actually a victim of grooming by Snoke / Palpatine.

The Darkling has not committed any genocide, he is not a pedophile or a groomer either and is even less a killer of childs specifically...

For Sareth basically... Everything that happens in the movie is essentially a representation of the desires / fantasies of teenage Sarah. Jareth is the reflection of her dreams, he literally acts according to her. He is the product of his fantasy. Please note, I'm not saying that what Sarah experiences in the film is literally a dream. No, I'm saying that the film, through its story and especially the character of Sarah, is in a way a representation of the adolescent's desire / dreams, and also a bit of hormones / sexual awakening. Without forgetting the fact of accepting to grow. That's why everything in the maze is in Sarah's room. That's why Jareth's universe is in this book, and also why the way to defeat Jareth there is. This is why Jareth is “in love” with Sarah. That's why he looks like a walking sexual fantasy with his tights on. Why there is a snake, a cane. Why does everyone at the ball wear masks with horns and long noses (= just falic / sexual symbols) Brief. There's nothing wrong with shipping Jareth with Sarah, since he's literally her personal fantasy and he's acting on that. (in the sense that he takes the role she gives him in the story)

Sessrin / Sesshrin is also not a relationship based on pedophilia. Sesshomaru clearly didn't feel anything romantic or sexual about Rin when she was a child. As for the accusations of grooming, they are unfounded because there is no proof. The fact that Rin gave birth to twins at 18 is not proof of this. Inuyasha takes place in the feudal era where a girl under 18 is seen as an adult. Essentially, Sesshomaru simply fell in love with Rin as she grew up. And he came to see her from time to time from the moment he left it with Kaede as a child. He was not responsible for her education. That was Kaede. He wasn't her father figure either, that was Jaken.

And Hades and Persephone must be read in the context of the time when the myth was written, otherwise you lose its true meaning. I have already reblogged excellent analyzes on the subject, I invite you to go and see them. Hades, essentially, is not the true villain in this myth.

No. I don't support psychopathic serial killers. The proof, I hate Laurel. The real psychopathic serial killer. Tyler is a teenager who she manipulated and enslaved for her cause. Literally, Tyler is a hyde, implying a personality disorder, but more than that, canonically, he must obey and approve of what his master does. Tyler is a victim. Not a bad guy. Moreover, once again, a real case of grooming under the arms. Yes, Laurel groomed Tyler, I've written lots of articles on this subject, you can go and see them. But once again, ironically, no one talks about it, and what's more, the antis will try to say that Tyler groomed Wednesday by inventing a new age for him...

[ripleywhitaker]

Sweet

There are five primary flavors in life- sweet, salty, bitter, savory and sour. Alice throws FP a surprise birthday party, which is most certainly makes for a sweet day. A fluffy and smutty one shot.

Not once in 45 years had anyone thrown Forsythe Pendleton Jones II a surprise birthday party. Hell, he hadn’t really celebrated his birthday since he was probably 16. They just weren’t his style and for the most part Gladys had accepted this during their marriage.

So, needless to say, he was shocked.

It seemed like everyone who cared about him in some way, shape or form was standing in Alice Smith’s living room, bedecked in party hats and tooting noisemakers. It was a lot more than he would have guessed.

“Happy birthday, dad!” There was Jughead, looking uncharacteristically cheery with his arm around Betty’s shoulders.

FP was almost at a loss for words.

“Happy birthday, old man.” Fred came up and slapped him on the shoulders. “Almost ready for that AARP discount.”

“You wish,” FP said, smiling. “Don’t forget, we’re the same age.”

“Oh, I know. I’ve already got adjoining rooms at Shady Pines Assisted Living Facility lined up. Hope you don’t mind sharing a bathroom.”

As he looked around the room, he took a mental roll. Cheryl, appearing to be happier than ever as she canoodled with Toni in a corner. Fangs and Moose, looking equally loved up. It had taken a while after Midge’s death for Moose to rejoin the living world, let alone think of dating anyone, but it seemed like he was coming out of the other side of the tunnel. Even Sweetpea was here, trying desperately to distract Toni and Cheryl enough to include him in their conversation. Unfortunately, they only had eyes for each other.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Jones! Archie and I got you a gift and I think you’re going to love it,” Veronica said as she dragged Archie over to pay their respects. As usual Veronica hadn’t wasted an opportunity to spoil someone she cared about. FP just hoped it wasn’t a day at the spa because there was no way he would be caught dead getting a mani/pedi. Archie smiled sheepishly as he shook his hand. “Happy birthday, Mr. Jones.”

“Thanks, Archie. I can’t believe you guys actually threw me a party.”  

Almost everyone was here with their significant other- which rose the question, where was his? He didn’t see her anywhere in the living room but her car was in the driveway, so she had to be here somewhere.

“Come with us, dad,” Jughead said, gently leading him into the dining room and making him sit down at the table.

“I don’t know what you guys are planning but I can still run as fast as you, boy, just keep that in mind if I have to catch you.” FP tried to give him a steely glare but failed miserably and instead broke into a smile.

Someone flipped off the lights and almost on cue Alice emerged from the attached kitchen, the candles on the cake in her hands glowing softly.

Everyone else joined in, their voices merging and filling FP with a clear and simple love for the people in his life. Maybe he wasn’t much for birthdays in the past but it was never too late to start.

“Happy birthday, to you.

Happy birthday, to you.

Happy birthday, dear FP,

Happy birthday to you.”

Alice placed the cake in front of him on table. It appeared to be covered in buttercream icing (his favorite) and true to form, it had “Happy Birthday FP” written on it in green icing and a cartoonish rendition of a snake wrapping its way around the sides. It was silly, light hearted and absolutely perfect.

“Make a wish, honey.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re 4 years old or 45, when you’ve got birthday cake candles in front of you, you blow them out and make a wish. It was the rules and for once FP was happy to follow them.

So, FP did, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to decide what he was going to wish for. Honestly, these days life was going really well and he had most of what he used to wish for.

A good relationship with his son- check.

His sobriety- check.

A stable job at the Chock’Lit Shoppe that, while it didn’t pay much, gave him some breathing room to figure out his next move.

And lastly, the one thing he had hoped above all else for over 20 years- Alice.

He never would have dreamed a few years ago that he would have such a wonderful woman in his life, and if she was getting tired of him, she hadn’t begun to show it yet. She was the love of his life and if something happened to her, he didn’t know how he would keep on living. In turn, she had him wrapped around her finger and he would do anything to make her happy.

Even if it meant letting her throw him a surprise birthday party.

So, what FP wished for that day as he blew out his birthday candles was to keep this moment forever unchanged in his mind, shining and perfect. It was something that he and Alice could think about as they grew old and sat in their rocking chairs, easing their aching joints over the warm fire of a memory.

Everyone cheered as the candles went out and he turned to Alice, who bent down to capture his lips. She was warm and soft as he wrapped his arms around her waist and even a fairly chaste kiss from her was enough to get his heart racing. He took advantage of the lights still being off to run his hand along her thigh and under the edge of her skirt. He was addicted to the feeling of her skin. She shivered slightly in response and he suddenly couldn’t wait for when they were alone.

“Happy birthday, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too, Al. I can’t believe you pulled all of this off.”

“Well, you know, all I had to do was tell Betty and it was halfway around Riverdale before she even left the house.”

The lights came back on and then it was time to cut the cake and open presents.

“Here, open this one first,” Alice said as she handed him a small, wrapped box. “It’s from me.”

FP quickly unwrapped it, revealing an elegant wristwatch with a black leather band. It was beautiful and had Alice had obviously spent a good amount of time deciding on a design that would be perfect for him.

“Flip it over,” Alice said. She bit her lip in the adorable way that she sometimes did when she was nervous.

She had had the back of the watch engraved in a graceful font. For my one. Always.

It was the most thoughtful gift he had ever received.

“Thank you so much, Alice. I love it.”

She bent down to kiss him again and he had to resist the urge to take her upstairs right then, party bedamned. It was a close battle. Before she rose she stilled her lips by his ear.

“Your real present comes later,” she whispered with a grin and he felt the heat rise in his face.

She really didn’t know what she did to him. Or, she knew and she liked watching him try to control himself. Knowing Alice, it was most likely the latter. Scratch that, he knew she knew.

The rest of the party went by in a whirl.

Jughead and Betty chipped their money together to get him a new motorcycle helmet.

Veronica and Archie didn’t get him a luxurious spa getaway, thankfully, but they did get him a subscription to a meat-of-the-month club, which was more his style.

From Toni and Cheryl, a box set of all seven seasons of Sons of Anarchy on Blu-Ray, which was sort of ironic. He wasn’t really sure what message they were trying to send him with that one.

Fred got him a new pair of Ray Bans, and Fangs and Moose got him a manly-themed poker set with pictures of moose and bears emblazoned on the chips. Sweet Pea rounded out the gift giving with a pair of wool lined slippers that would definitely be handy come wintertime.

They ended breaking out Cards Against Humanity for the next several hours, which left most of them in hysterics, particularly after Betty won with the card “An erection lasting for more than four hours” in response to Sweet Pea’s “Daddy, why is Mommy crying?”.

Finally, the festivities wound down and one by one the party goers exited. Even Betty decided to head to Pop’s with Jughead, Veronica and Archie and planned to sleep over at the Pembrooke afterwards. She had a feeling that maybe her mom and FP might want a little alone time (and it spared her having to potentially hear anything that might make her want to puncture her eardrums).

Alice shut the front door with one last promise from Betty that she would text her when she got to Pop’s and when she headed to Veronica’s. Things had settled down in Riverdale but Alice was still a little paranoid that something would happen to her children. She didn’t know if she could take any more heartbreak.

At last, Alice and FP were alone.

She rested her back on the door and gave him a wide smile. “So, Jonesy,” she said, using her old nickname for him, “Are you ready to actually celebrate?”

Read the rest (including the smutty parts) at https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574533. 

Part 1 of The Taste of You series. 

Reviews welcome as always. 

[leavemeslowly]

falice - over? or not really?

2x18 showed what is so problematic about our beloved ship Falice. they push and pull each other and cannot decided what they really want. Fp’s and Alice’s characters are similar and it shows that they are meant for each other but they won’t survive together - too much temper. 

What has struck me the most was not the scene when Alice entered pop’s and Fp was cold but scene when Fp entered the show. And he was shocked and harmed when he saw Alice holding Hal’s hand. His face was miserable and his posture really revealed what he felt (I just hope he won’t start drinking again).  

And he left.

He didn’t have any other reason to stay. Not even fact that his son was there and he could support him. He came there only for her. He was disappointed, but I suppose not surprised. He knew they both have separate lives and families to maintain and this romance won’t last. Heart-breaking.

BUT FUCK THIS FP AND ALICE IN 2x19 GAVE ME CHILLS SO I EXPECT AS LITTLE AS A TOUCH. I WOULD CRY EVEN BECAUSE OF IT. 

PS HAL GO TO HELL !!

[heytherejulietx]

All of s4 is this meme

[arsenicpanda]

Falice?

Season 1 to 2A: A/B Tier

Season 2B onward: F/Trash Tier

The version of this ship we got in season 1 to 2A was quality, it was just two people who hated each other but also wanted to fuck and had complicated history.  There was an idea that FP and Alice were like friends or partners in crime in the past as Serpents but then Alice got out and it turned into animosity.  I loved watching them spar, and the sexual tension was great.  The possibilities for ridiculousness were endless, both within the ship and when you add bughead to it.

Then season 2B started up the idea that they were somehow this big romantic love, and I was like “ehhhhh,” but rolled with it, demoting it to C Tier.  But season 3x04 had to come around and be like “No, they were fuck buddies, that was their connection”, and I was like “This is not an epic love, guys, what are you doing?  You’re normally so good at selling me on your ships, why are you dropping the ball now?”  I kind of peaced out then, put it in D Tier.

But THEN Riverdale introduced Gladys, and her relationship with FP was goddamn gold, definitely A Tier.  Do you remember when she was like “hey, remember when we used to rob places together?” because I do, and it was what I had wanted for the falice backstory but didn’t get.  Combining that with my desire for Jughead to get everything he wants, including his family back together, and I became monogamous with...is it gladsythe?  Fladys?  Whatever it’s called, that’s my FP ship now, the disaster Jones parents.  Honestly, this put falice between D and F Tier.

But Riverdale keeps trying to push them as some kind of sweet true love, and no, I don’t buy it, get that out of my face.  What is this happily domestic Alice you’re trying to show me, it’s gross, take it away.   The show pushing it at me has made me hate it, and I want it gone. 

[baddieromanova]

Falice anti’s love to harp on about the events in 3x04 yet conveniently forget the very same episode ending with Alice pursuing Hal not because she was interested in him but because she was useful to him, and put further emphasis on that by having her touch her stomach before she approached him to indicate that what she was about to do was solely about providing the best for her unborn child by any means and nothing to do with being romantically interested in Hal. Hal was nothing more than a stepping stone to the life of security and respectibility she wanted. Yeah........but that’s the love story that totally trumps Falice, who at least had feelings for each other, right?

[unhingedanger]

they really fucked up gladys’ character and i’m forever bitter over it. 

[multifangirl69]

I love how no one in the riverdale fandom actually cares about Varchie. You’re either team Bughead or team Choni with a small group of outsiders standing in the dark corner, whispering about their love for Falice.

[celinecooperjones]

Calling all Parentdale fans! Here’s my take on their senior year!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714483/chapters/34007147

[tv-is-my-love-life]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Liliam AWC (@queershows)

FP's face😭😭 . Riverdale Season 2 Episode 18 #riverdalecw #riverdale #mädchenamick #madchenamick #alicecooper #skeetulrich #fpjones #southsideserpents #falice #ship #canon #cw #tvshow

[leavemeslowly]

i wish you will find someone that will treat you like FP treats Alice in the falice scene in 2x19

PS I’m still not okay after this.

[jeronicashippersclub]

here’s a little falice to brighten up your day !!

[snakekingtm]

Hot Take

Falice is overated and not that good of a ship

[nadjaofstatenisland]

I don't want FP and Alice to ever happen

ducks tomatoes

Hear me out. I often get thrown in with the Falice shippers and while I'm not complaining, I don't know if I can say I actually ship them.

Let me note before I start rambling... I don't dislike the ship. I've written the ship. I have headcanons about the ship. I've eaten up every piece of fanfiction on the ship and loved it. It's probably the most popular ship in Parentdale so there's a decent amount of it. I'm just so conflicted.

Let's start from the beginning. Everyone just flat out says they had a relationship in their past. I'd say... it's still debatable. My biggest reason being does Alice strike anyone as the type who would let her daughter date the son of her high school boyfriend? Me thinks not. But I can get behind them having a history in their past. It doesn't bother me in terms of plot... It bothers me because it's lazy writing.

The show already has one couple (Varchie) with parents that dated in high school (Fred and Hermione). Redoing this same plot with Bughead and Falice just feels like the writers saw that Skeet and Madchen had good chemistry and rolled with it.

But like I said. I can forgive this as long as they don't get back together as adults.

Go ahead. Look me in the eye and tell me you'd be okay with your mom dating your boyfriend's dad. Do it. It's not incest, but you'd better bet it'd be weird. Would it break up Bughead? Probably not but it would still be weird.

And call this point silly, but I don't want Betty and Jughead to have their families broken up. We know crap about Gladys, so I'm not ready to jump on the hate bandwagon for her yet. Let me meet her first. And call her a bad parent for leaving Jughead (I still feel Jughead chose not to go with her, not that she left without him), but she was escaping an alcoholic husband. As much as I love FP as a character, things were not good before the show started. Jug chose to be homeless rather than live with him for a time. But we see FP does seem to want his family back. His snap about "talk to your mother" and his pipe dreams of moving to Toledo.

We know how much Alice's family means to her. She's falling apart the second half of season 1 because of it. Once Polly comes home, she doesn't need to let Hal back, but she does. The town already knows they were separated for a time, reputation tainted. But she let's him back. I can't see her doing that unless (and everyone finds this so hard to believe) they're actually in love and want to make their marriage work.

But now we have Skeet and Madchen with great chemistry. And Gladys will never be mentioned ever again. And Hal will somehow disappear with zero explanation because no one appreciates Lochlyn like I do. (Okay that's not true. He said on Twitter something interesting happens with his character this season so lemme cross my fingers.) And FP and Alice will get together causing 10 minutes of discomfort for Bughead before they're totally over it.

I just don't want it to happen. Fine, give us their dirty past. It was probably pretty hot. But I don't want it happening now. These two are cut from the same thread. They'd be a disaster together. Let's meet Chic, and have Polly come home and have Alice and Hal work through their problems so the Coopers can be happy. Let Gladys and Jellybean move back to Riverdale and throw FP in AA so poor Jug can stop suffering.

prepares for backlash

[delicatefalice]

falice and jopper breaking the curse on adult ships not being canon in the end of teen shows

[enulaz]

Memories enter his mind more than they should, but what FP and Alice shared could not be so easily forgotten. When something so right goes so wrong, the 'why's' and 'what if's' linger forever. But they loved with such a burning intensity, that it had nowhere to go but out. At least...that's what they try to tell themselves. 

FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12684426/1/