#fake fruit flavors and scents Fuck me UP

[snork-mi-mi-mi]

. It's eyestrain caused by monocular vision. . t's almost always because of my scent sensitivity (fake fruit flavors/smells fuck me up

"everyone experiences [symptom]" how many times does it have to be explained that it's often about the frequency of the symptom, not the symptom itself

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Vampire soulmate au: they feed off you for the first time.

They explain to you how blood tastes to them and enjoy a meal... 

Tw: Blood drinking, heavy petting

---------------------------------

Hawks: It's been a year you and Keigo seem to be together, you've been talking about moving in together anywho, You got a paper cut and Keigo who was crashing at your placed smelled it from your living room, he nearly gave you a heart attack when you turned around to see him standing behind you, his gold eyes had red tinge as he eyed your finger like a like man who hasn't eaten in a week. "Ey, there I thought you've already had enough to drink today?" you were referring to the black and red sports bottle he'd brought with him. "I did, It's just- You have no Idea how hard I've been holding back, your blood it does something to me..." Keigo husked eyes locked on the crimson nectar dripping down your hand he was salivating and swallowed hard. "My blood...does it smell good?" you asked timidly.

The blond snapped out of his trance. "Petal, you smell like ripe strawberries and chocolate to me..." Keigo has already told you how smoker's blood smells and taste to him, well you now you were curious about non-smokers, and asked if blood type also has an effect on the blood's flavor? the winged vamp was happy to answer! 

Smokers: Charcoal/moldy bread.

Drunks: depends on how drunk they are, it's somewhere between hard soda and hard wine or liquor.

Drug users: no idea, he says they smell like rotten eggs, and he's seen how loopy other vamps act after feeding on them and stays clear of them.

Sick/injured: He stays away from sick people but they smell like a cross between a hospital or a funeral home.

Virgins: sweet/tart like fruit-punch.

regular folks: like Sangria the fruitiness is still there but it's mixed with bitter wine . 

"Blood types don't really change up the flavors, but I've noticed type As have a spice to them, Bs start off sour, and type Os are pretty mellow." You hummed very intrigued at what you were hearing then, noticed Keigo was still eyeing your finger, like a starved animal, you looked down at the cut then back Keigo and noticed his wings were tense and he was clenching his jaw, after some thought you sighed you held your hand out to him. "Go head before your jaw breaks" His wings bristled. "I'm not some desperate leech y'know." he huffed you shrugged and went to went to put a band-aid on, but Keigo stopped you.

"Let's not be hasty here..."  He stammered out at you cocked a brow at him. "Yer really giving me mixed signals here." you huffed did he want your blood or not? " Um... Are you sure about this?" he said blush adoring his cheeks. "I'm just letting you suck my finger...Why are you acting like I just asked you to pop my cherry?" Keigo's face was as red as a cherry as you said this. "Because you essenually are..." He explained the big difference between mates and prey, on instinct he wouldn't give a crap about some rando he picked up off the street or whatever mystery pack the commission gives him, but you... 

You're his soulmate, his fated one... and right now your pretty much telling him to make you his! He's not gonna stop at your finger, once he's had a taste he's going for your neck! And once he bites you that's it, you have his mark forever, You paused absorbing what the blond male just told you...Well, he hardly leaves you alone already might as well go all in? "Do it." Hawks's eyes were red now. "Come" he hissed sitting across from you and gesturing to sit in his lap.

You complied and watched Keigo warily as he brought your finger to his mouth, immediately you felt a shock go through you the second Keigo's tongue started lapping at the cut, he moaned tasting your blood for the first time. He was right you tasted every bit as sweet as he thought you would...*more...more...* his monster groaned euphorically he felt the cut on your finger close from his saliva's healing properties.

Keigo's eyes drifted towards your neck, You gasp feeling his grip on your hand tighten before his free hand found it's way behind your head, you tensed seeing Keigo's fangs elongate but before he could pierce your neck he smelled your distress.

His rough hold on you suddenly slacked and his hands lowered to your hips his thumbs gently rubbed you sides as he left little kisses and nip along your jaw before you calmed down enough to trust Hawks wasn't gonna tear your throat out. "Just relax." he cooed kissing you neck a couple more times like a countdown. one...two... three! 

You tried not to scream as you felt his fangs pierce your neck, your fingers gripped his jacket as you felt yourself be drained... then like a switch had been slowly tuned the pain tuned into pleasure? moans started sneaking their out from your mouth which confused you, the blond vampire groaned in ecstasy at how rich your blood tasted with lust mixed in he buck his hips against you, after what seemed like hours Keigo's fangs finally retracted from your flesh and lap at the two holes he left on your neck, they sealed as you whimpered weakly Keigo just shushed and you. "It's alright kid, you did good" he cooed kissing your head as you started drifting out of consciousness.   

When you woke up your head was pounding like a bad hangover Keigo was cradling you in his lap looking relieved and sheepish, he explained he went a little overboard with his drinking and venom dosing and you got drunk on him and passed out! you must've looked panicked cos Keigo assured you were completely fine, the venom isn't lethal... (To you anyways, one of the benefits of being a vampire's soulmate.) Though you might be a bit feverish and cranky for the next couple days.  

----------------------------------------------------

Dabi: You were on your period so yes Dabi's self restraint was breaking! you had no fucking idea what you blood was doing to him you smelled like a 5 star meal and all he could do was sit and drown in his own drool and watch you, like a hawk as you moaned and groaned about  cramps and ruining your pajama shorts when you woke up this morning! a low growl escaped the faux raven haired vamp when he saw you toss out a bag with said aforementioned shorts, it took every nerve in him not to run after the garbage truck like a starved dog! before something you said snapped him out of his trance. "hn...What ya say?" he looked at you drinking his third pack of cow's blood.

"I asked if my blood smells good and what does it taste like?"

"I wouldn't know haven't tasted yours yet..."

"Well, what about anyone else's?" 

"Why are you suddenly interested?"

You huffed "Sorry for wanting to know you..." and were about to tell him to forget it, when the the undead cremator spoke up. "Mocha mixed wit' something spicy like cinnamon or rum" he muttered not looking at you. Of course you cocked a brow now intrigued, now that that was out of the bag he might as well tell ya the rest. 

Smokers: burnt rubber/earwax (eh, everyone was a kid once, had to know what that gunky crap in your ear tasted like.)

Drunks: Depends on how much they've drank, it could between hard water to straight up red wine.

Drug users: the one time he fed on one he thought they were just a pothead, but in turned out they had ate a few shrooms which made them kinda taste like... orange juice and black liquorice?... Honestly he can't give a straight answer, as he was too busy trippin out on another plain of existence to remember.  

Sick/injured: doesn't feed off the sick, but they smell like a hospital or a morgue.

Virgins: like apples and honey

Regular folks: they taste like Apple cider. 

Animal blood: kinda tastes like artificial cherry cough syrup, and he hates it!

"Then why do you drink it?" you gulped seeing his cerulean eyes flash red for a brief second as he locked eyes with you. "Why?...*growl* your standing in front of me smelling like a walking buffet and you have to gall ask me why I drinking this crap?!" he snapped crushing the blood pack in his hand as you started backing away, you were nervous that only fueled Dabi's sadistic side you learned early that he enjoyed agitating you via flashing his fangs, popping behind you out of seemingly nowhere, and faking you out.

I.E. making it seem like he was gonna bite you then blow air in your ears before walking away laughing at your reaction, something about putting you on edge and having your adrenaline pumping through your veins adds more "spice" to your scent, it happens so often that Dabi started noticing arousal was mixing in with your fear, you bet your ass he started mocking you for getting off on him scaring you. 

Of course right now you weren't sure if he was seriously mad, or making fun of you again? He was not making fun of you again he was seriously pissed off, The nerve of you walking around asking him about useless crap, and offering him nothing in return! Dabi had you backed against a wall face buried in your shoulder you felt him sniffing you and flinched you felt him nipping along your neck, and like all the other times he's riled you he smelled that that little speck of arousal through the fear. 

He let out a low chuckle causing you to to become fed up, you though he was screwing with you again! "Goddamm-.hm!" You were cut off by sharp yelp as Dabi's fang suddenly pierced your neck! oh god it hurt! you whimpered tried shoving Dabi off! he groaned pushing your back against the wall, suddenly your body felt weird... you moaned it was hot and and everything felt sensitive...

You barely registered Dabi lifting your legs up you instinctively wrapped them around his hips, he let out a low purr and his demeanor became less angry and forceful, his shoulders relaxed as his hands gently rubbed your legs, after what seemed like hours Dabi finally pulled away from your neck lapping at the pin holes he left on, he checked on you only to find you passed out his eye had a rare tenderness to them as he eyed your flushed appearance. "Well aren't you high maintenance." he cooed his thumb caressing you chin before taking you to bed.   

----------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: He didn't want say what you smelled like to him as it made him look soft, he finally cracks after more poking a prodding. "If I fucking do will you shut up and let me sleep?!" he hissed it was 8: 47 p.m. and he was tired which confused you, the sun was still out and you could hear kids playing in the streets outside. You heard a angry growl Katsuki's ears were pink. "S'mores...you smell like S'mores, happy?" he groaned when you started shaking him, no point in trying to sleep now that he's lit the fuse! He gave you the sum up of what blood tastes like to him.

Smokers: old news paper and figs.

Drug users: No clue stays clear of them, they smell like pickled eggs.

Drunks: Somewhere between hard water and flavored vodka.

Virgins: Why would you want to kno-... arhg! Coffee and vanilla!

Regular folks: Irish coffee and bitter mint.

Then you you started asking about blood types and what it was when he drank, Next thing you knew Katsuki let out this frustrated bellow! You yelped as he grabbed your wrists and pinned you under him. "You wanna know what it feels like?" you sheepishly mumbled a meek "yes" but the blonds red eyes narrowed. "Hah? say that again I couldn't hear ya?" he jeered trying to get you to use your voice, you repeated "Yes" again a bit more forceful as the ash blond unbuttoned the shirt he let you borrow exposing your neck to him. 

Katsuki frowned he could smell your reluctance, then grumbled in annoyance as he recalled Shitty-hair's advice ""Take it slow, be gentle..."" He took a deep breath and carefully buried his face in you neck, You flinched expecting him to clamp down, giving how much you annoyed him, but to your surprise; Katsuki instead opted to started leaving kisses along your jaw and collar bone.

You bit back a moan when he found you sweet spot and causing Katsuki to smirk if wasn't so hungry and tired right now, he might've taken this much farther, but the mouthwatering scent of your blood calling him was too much to pass up. "I'm gonna do it" he husked as you nodded and with that, Katsuki's fangs pierced your neck.

You gasped in pain felling them puncture your skin as Katsuki grasped your hand, the blond groaned in euphoria your blood tasted every bit as rich and sweet as he thought it would, he could smell your discomforted and on instinct inject a doses of his venom into your bloodstream in minutes your blood's flavor intensified with added lust, your tiny moans and whimpers were music to his hears, soon his instincts were warning him stop.

Katsuki's fangs retracted he lapped at the punctures he left on your neck, before pulling away to look at you and snorted you were a flushed out mess. "That sate your curiosity?" he huffed fixing your shirt you tried to say something but were too exhausted to say anything tangible, the ash blond chuckled and settled down next to you for the night.   

-------------------------------------------------------

[vypcr]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

idk why just take them

Pinky promises are like blood oaths to her, breaking one is a big betrayal.

Favorite flower is the chinese dianthus, especially the black or pink ones. She also likes peruvian lilies, the “butterscotch” and “flaming star” varieties.

ngl she kinda hates tulips

This is her favorite video in existence atm

She generally smells like vanilla cake, strawberries and peaches, and/or green apples because those are her go-to scent choices when it comes to body wash, shampoo, etc.

“Take on Me” by A-ha is her favorite song.

She likes to collect funky glasses.

The only shoes she really wears are vans or converse. They’re functional and she likes the style.

She thinks cheetahs are the coolest animals. Also loves cheetah / leopard print (if you can’t tell by her prom dress lol)

She cries really easily during emotional scenes in television shows / movies. Even if it’s only vaguely emotional, idk she’s just an emotional person. Most of the time she’s not comfortable with people seeing her cry so she gets embarrassed and gets fake made to hide it, but sometimes she’ll let it go if she feels okay around you.

Actually scared of thunderstorms because it fucks with her ptsd tbh. She’s good at hiding it for a while but she always retreats when it’s storming bad because she knows she’s going lose her cool.

She hates Taco Bell with a passion and also Domino’s pizza. (Fuck your shitty food choices Hawk.)

She likes In-N-Out because you can fold the boxes into cute little sailor hats.

Favorite foods are chicken chow mein, chips & white queso, and fries with gravy. She’s awful idc

Favorite desserts are banana pudding, gingerbread and almost anything white chocolate. She’s a white chocolate fiend.

Would kill you over a mango smoothie.

She likes summer because she can wear less clothes and go to the beach more.

She’s naturally cold, temperature wise. Her hands and feet are always freezing. It’s why she likes the summer and the heat. But also, she’s the type of person who keeps the thermostat at 69 degrees fahrenheit so sfdljk

She’s a night owl but she also wakes up super early. She rarely sleeps more than 5 hours a night because of insomnia, recurrent nightmares, or her schedule, and she naturally wakes up around sunrise. Doesn’t mean she gets out of bed immediately but she’s awake.

Favorite snacks are skittles, pretzels, oreos, and hershey’s cookies and cream chocolate bars. Favorite drink is Mt. Dew, the original and the raspberry lemonade kind.

She HATES Sprite.

She can’t stand being by herself for too long. It fucks with her head too much.

She loves The Weeknd, Poppy, Paramore, Billie Eilish, and Muse.

She hates Ed Sheeran music with one sole exception and that’s the song “Perfect” because Robby sang it to her on their first solo roadtrip together.

She has an irrational hatred for hippopotamuses and the taste of coconut.

Loves the Office, hates Friends.

You can keep her entertained for approximately 30 minutes if you give her a big sheet of bubble wrap.

Green apple gum is the supreme gum flavor. All other flavors pale in comparison and she WILL fight you over this.

Make her coffee or hot cocoa with milk instead of water or she won’t drink it.

She has been known to draw silly faces on fruits and veggies after grocery shopping.

She likes to make lists but she never follows them. She will make a list and lose it in five seconds.

She will moo back at a cow and meow back at a cat. Can’t bark back at a dog though. Cannot figure out how.

If she’s driving, it’s karaoke time. Put up with her singing or find another ride.

She’s genuinely scared of the concept of zombies for existential reasons.

Klondike bars and thin mints are from Satan.

[rosalie-starfall]

I’m bored so I’ll just answer all of these

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Neither

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? literally a conversation I had with my 2nd Grade Teacher 

Teacher “Kayla, you talk back to much”

Kayla “I do not Talk Back!”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Soda Bottles 

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Tomboy Preppy Boho Goth?

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows? Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Dance

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Coffee and cereal or a granola bar or toast

12. name of your favorite playlist? The Witching Hour, or my Island Life Playlist

13. lanyard or key ring? Lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Twizzles or Red Vines

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Of Mice and Men

16. most comfortable position to sit in? With my legs to the side or crossed under me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My sketchers

18. ideal weather? Overcast but warm with no wind or snow maybe a tiny bit of rain and some fog!

19. sleeping position? on my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? PC

21. obsession from childhood? I Dream of Jeannie and The Nanny

22. role model? Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Carol Burnett, Carrie Fisher, 

23. strange habits? None that I can think of.

24. favorite crystal? Rose Quartz and Onyx 

25. first song you remember hearing? Walkin on Broken Glass

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Drink at a patio bar

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Drink by a fire

28. five songs to describe you? Different Drum by the stone ponies 

29. best way to bond with you? Over Middle Aged Actresses and Fictional Characters

30. places that you find sacred? My Grandma’s Rose Garden Growing up, Disneyland

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Dock Martins, Dark Blue Jeans, Black Off the Shoulder loose fit Tee

32. top five favorite vines? Red?

33. most used phrase in your phone? IDK literally 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Thankfully I don’t have any

35. average time you fall asleep? Around Midnight

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I honestly have no clue. Maybe the Star trek Engage photo?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase (But it really depends on the trip)

38. lemonade or tea? Both Arnold Palmer!!!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon Cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? It was so long ago I really can’t remember anything weird happening to me

41. last person you texted? My Dad

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pant Pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Fake Leather Jacket

44. favorite scent for soap? Pumpkin

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? If It’s Comedic I’ll Love whatever

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Birthday suit

47. favorite type of cheese? Colby Jack?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I have no Idea but Apples are my favorite so I’ll go with that

49. what saying or quote do you live by? If you don’t like something do something about it

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My mom’s Flip Flop breaking at the movie theater and her trying to get out to the car. OMG even just that little summer I’m crying from laughing at the memory 

51. current stresses? Money, Covid, Politics, the world, anything and everything

52. favorite font? Open Dyslexic

53. what is the current state of your hands? Sad, dry, Scratched 

54. what did you learn from your first job? you might get free food sometimes

55. favorite fairy tale? 

56. favorite tradition? watching shows with my family on Wednesdays 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I don’t think I’ve overcome anything

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I’m really good at cutting men’s hair, I think I’m quite good at making gifs, I think I’m pretty good at writing (it’s something I’m working on) I can Quote Both Addams Family movies in their entirety just from hearing the musical score

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Tits

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Like Sailor Moon?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “Ain’t no bitches gonna hunt no ghosts”

62. seven characters you relate to? Liz Lemon, Elaine Benes, Lavinia Dickinson, Zelda Spellman, Barbara Minerva, Shirley Feeney, Jillian Holtzmann

63. five songs that would play in your club? My heart will go on (Remix by the Math Club), Dreams by deep Dish Feat Stevie Nicks, Doin it right by Daft Punk, Shake Senora Feat T-Pain & Sean Paul, April Showers By Proleter

64. favorite website from your childhood? Pixie Hollow (online game) BTW “Website from my childhood” Is very limited we didn’t have internet until I was like 10ish

65. any permanent scars? I have a scar under my right eyebrow from Chicken Pox

66. favorite flower(s)? Poppies and Roses

67. good luck charms? I don’t have any

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate fish but also just meat in general 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Carley Simon had terrible stage fright and couldn’t preform in front of audiences. I’m pretty sure that’s a true statement. 

70. left or right handed? Right

71. least favorite pattern? Abuse?

72. worst subject? Men and Hetero Shit

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I’m not one for weird Flavor Combos 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 2... I don’t fuck around. I try and get ahead of the pain

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I have no Idea

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Fries, Skillet, and Whorehouse

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? succulent? 

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Coffee from the Gas station 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? School ID

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earth Tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Lightning Bugs

82. pc or console? PC

83. writing or drawing? Writing 

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? Polly Pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies 

87. your greatest fear? Caves, Mines, and the Ocean

88. your greatest wish? To be a writer

89. who would you put before everyone else? My siblings

90. luckiest mistake? Quitting Homeadvisor

91. boxes or bags? Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy Lights

93. nicknames? Punkin, Kayla Bean, KP, Pain

94. favorite season? Autumn 

95. favorite app on your phone? Tumblr and Instagram

96. desktop background? 

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? 2 (My mom’s and my dad’s)

98. favorite historical era? 1930s and 1940s

[purplesurveys]

1142

survey by tickticktmr

Do you have a digital camera? What color is it? No, haven’t held one in years. The last digital camera we had was a bit of a magenta shade; it actually belonged to my sister but I borrowed it occasionally.

Did you like the movie Juno? It was ok, though to be honest I’ve mostly forgotten what it’s about. I remember fairly liking it but it’s not the type of movie or genre I’d rewatch.

Name something you think is way over-rated: Big Macs, which I’ve never found tasty.

Do you remember your first friend? Yes, it was a girl named Kaye that I sat with in preschool. She didn’t stay too long in my school, so I haven’t been able to reconnect.

Would you rather live with your mom, dad, a friend or on your own? On my own.

Name something your pet(s) like: Walks.

Do you listen to country music? No, I don’t.

What does the color white remind you of? Peace, serenity, doves, minimalist homes.

What show/movie/song makes you cry every time? Show: From Brooklyn Nine-Nine - either the episode where Rosa Diaz comes out as bisexual or the episode where Terry gets racially profiled.

Movie: La vita e bella.

Song: There isn’t one song that makes me cry 100% of the time, but I suppose Why We Ever by Hayley Williams had this effect on me for a time.

What was your last fight about? I spilled a drop of our dinner’s soup on the dinner table last Thursday and my mom did a sufficient job making me feel incompetent and a dumbass about it, so I was hurt by it and didn’t speak a word for the rest of the evening. Not really a fight, but y’know.

Do you text a lot? I used to not but anymore. I usually get prepaid for LTE now, not to have credits for texts.

Have you ever been screamed at by a teacher? Many times. A number of them didn’t like me for whatever reason...

Do you smile or scowl more? I definitely try to smile more, but idk for sure if that’s what I do more frequently.

Obama or Bush? Idk, maybe Obama? Considering we were colonized by the US at one point and imperialism remains to linger in my country, I generally don’t take kindly to any US president, though.

Batman or Superman? I don’t like comic books.

Are you excited about Blink 182 getting back together? I don’t follow the band so I’m not sure how recent or relevant this news is, but  generally speaking I don’t remember ever being stoked for a Blink-182 comeback in particular.

Would you rather be a teacher, a stripper or a hairdresser? I’d go with teacher, and preferably of history, so that I at least can have an hour or so to talk about my passion with other people lol.

The last person you spoke to: how many times have they made you cry? Just once.

What's your favorite kind of gum? The classic bubblegum flavor is fine with me.

Have you ever failed a class in school? Just exams, but never altogether an entire class that required me to retake.

Are you even in school? No, not anymore.

Are you taller then your best friend? No haha, I’m slightly tinier than both of them.

Are you scared of spiders? I’d be scared probably of the larger kinds, but all we get here are the super small spiders so this isn’t an issue for me for the most part.

You can't eat anything ever again except for jello or apples: which one? Probably apples. I cannot stand the texture of jelly/Jell-O, and I guess I can move past my dislike of fruits for this situation since apple is kinda decent anyway.

Have you ever cheated on anyone? No, never man.

If you answered yes to the last question, do they know about it?

Do you paint your nails often? I never do and I never have them done either.

Mascara or lipgloss? Er lipgloss I guess, since I literally don’t care how my eyelashes look.

Who’s the last person you called? I think it had been Denise, a co-worker. 

Describe the last person who sent you a text: It was just the delivery guy who brought Ysa’s gift to my place, so I don’t know enough about him to be able to give a sufficient description.

Do you ever watch TV shows or movies on YouTube? No, because for the most part they would be high- or low-pitched, in a tiny screen, sped up, zoomed in, or altogether fake. I also don’t understand why buying movies individually on YouTube is still a thing when Netflix exists for literally cheaper.

Myspace or facebook? Uh Facebook, I guess.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I was around 5 or 6, I think.

Have you ever embarassed yourself in front of someone you like? Yeah. But when I started dating them, fucking up in front of them became less embarrassing, of course.

Describe your hair right now: Wet and slightly dripping since I just stepped out of the shower.

Do you like it when it rains? Yes, it’s my favorite weather.

Does anyone miss you right now? I hope my friends do...but I can’t say for sure.

How many funerals have you been to? None. Just wakes.

Where's your favorite place to hang out? Depends on the vibe I’m feeling for the day and the company I’ve got.

Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? Oh gee, never.

Do you like video games? What's your favorite one? I was raised around video games and so much of my childhood was watching my kuya, dad, and a number of my uncles completing games, so I definitely hold a big appreciation and fondness for them. I never inherited any skills of my own though lmao, so I mostly watch walkthroughs; and the only video games I’ve ever met considerable progress on are Nintendo games marketed for all audiences HAHAHA.

Have you ever worn something your parents wouldn't approve of? Yeah I’ve gotten chided by my mom a handful of times, telling me to cover up with a jacket or something. But her reasoning was always men, so I’m usually able to defend myself and say that that’s not my problem and that’s something fucking men have to deal with themselves. We both know I’m right so she ends up begrudgingly letting me go out with whatever outfit I choose on that given day.

Where are your sibling(s)? They are in their respective bedrooms.

When's the last time a friend got dumped/dumped someone? September. That friend was Gabie and the dumpee was me hahahah, does that count?

Do you celebrate Valentine's day? If I have a significant other, yeah. I like keeping our activities lowkey though because from all my past experiences, malls and restaurants tend to get fully booked on February 14 and it ends up being more of a (very crowded) hassle than a celebration.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yep.

Does it snow where you live? Never.

Have you ever wanted a pet unicorn? I never did, actually.

Would you like to work to earn money, or simply have money given to you? The latter is obviously the ideal situation, but I recognize the importance of hard work too and constantly working on my skills.

If you could be on any game show, what one would it be? Jeopardy or Family Feud.

Do you know anyone whose famous? Yes, at least locally.

Do you read those gossip magazines? I used to, lol those were my guilty pleasures back then. I still keep up with celebrity updates, but I’ve moved to social media now. I also filter which publications I consume and avoid the tabloid-y ones like Daily Mail.

Summer or winter? I’d go with winter so that I can actually experience it for once.

What do you hear right now? I’m watching an archived Facebook livestream of a senior citizen who had held a virtual piano concert to raise funds to afford his maintenance medicine. The media ate it up like crazy and it’s since gone viral, so I was able to I read about him earlier tonight. He reminds me so much of my late grandpa so I quickly searched for the finished concert on Facebook and now I have it on :)

When's the last time you saw a cousin? Around two weeks ago.

Where were you the last time you left your house? I can’t remember exactly. I think I went to Feliz...OH OK I remember now - I originally went to the nearby SM to handle an LBC delivery for work, and to stay at Starbucks for a few hours also to work. After that I went to their vape stall to buy new pods but they didn’t have any for the vape brand I use, so I went to Feliz as well to try my chances there. They ended up having a few flavors but not what I usually get, so I decided to try a new one - grape lol.

Describe the room you are in: Dark, filled with the lovely sounds of piano music, and the faint smell coming from my scented candle. Overall, light and peaceful.

What shoes did you wear today? I wore my Onitsukas when I walked Cooper this morning.

[kangtaebins]

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

[shrimpcolour]

answer them all coward

take two after closing the tab when i was almost done w every question im gonna fucking lose my shit

angel; do you have a nickname?

people call me nicknames but i hate any variation of taylor

awe; how old are you?

16

baby; favorite color?

lilac

bloop; spirit animal?

kitten

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Fahrenheit 451 im1 shes so man matchbox 20 

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

my lamby who i still sleep w everynight bc i am baby

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

getting told i can keep my cats

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies all the way

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

not so sure i do

buttercup; showers or baths?

shower

butterfly; dream destination?

anywhere outside of the us

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

no but i wish i was

calm; favorite scent?

vanilla

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

some fuckshit on the beach

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes

cozy; eye/hair color?

blue/brown

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

time is fake

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

hibiscus 

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

money  like a lot

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

my kitten lucifer but saying i own him sounds weird

cutsie; what makes you happy?

jillie

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

i cant remember

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to be remembered as nice? kind? please . 

daylight; favorite album of all time?

kindly now by keaten henson

dear; zodiac sign?

scorpio

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts but i love museums

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes but i didnt send it

dobby; dream job?

something that has to do w art

doll; how do you like to dress?

i like to dress in a cute button up and jeans but that doesnt happen

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

no but i wish so bad 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

yes i want many tattoos and on my 18th im going w my dad to get one

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

fuck yeah

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

i love my sister so much she is my literal will to live she is so fukcing funny and happy and just UGHHH shoutout to kaylleee

fairy; do you have a pet?

yes i have two cats, boots and lucifer, and a dog named finn

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

ocean is where its at 

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the park near me at night

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

sadly not

garden; how many languages do you know?

one bc im weak

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

not tagging them but like . cmon . yk

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

that warm cozy library aesthetic ? i love that

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i love them bc it gives me the opportunity to talk to ppl who are too scared to talk to me (please dont be scared of me)

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

my eyes my hair my sense of humor my friends my socks

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee w almond milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

people watching bc i like to give everyone a story in my head

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

melatonin LMAO

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

rainy and cold

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

sleep my life away

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

loud laugh baeby

kinky; do you blush easily?

i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

that friends to lovers mutual pining takes a little bit to realize what they want is right in front of them i love that

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

1am-8am

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

keaten henson

love; what is your favorite season and why?

fall bc the weather and the holidays and my job ITS ALL TOO GOOD

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i have never had a macaron but i love oreo iceceram

magic; what are five flaws you have?

i overthink AND underthink at the same time like what a dumbass bitch, i doubt myself, i am not so bright, i am too loud around ppl im comfortable with and i am selfish sometimes

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

i like all of them it depends on my mood

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

i dont really look? 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

minecraft and sweatpants 

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on minecraft or on here or just like . sitting

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

dont judge a book by its cover is so fucking cliche but like .  you gotta learn it

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook baeby

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

lazy oops

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

i played the flute when i was like 10

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

scream

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

strawberry/sweet pepper

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

my sister being born

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

the loss of all my friends bc im fucking stupid. thats the one. 

shine; art or music?

both 

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

they do

smitten; do you collect anything?

i collect disney pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one? two?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

kitkats

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

i do but i dont know what kind and idk where it is

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

i wear earrings  and a necklace sometimes

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with head phones but too loud so you can probably hear it without

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

hannah montana baeby

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.  

my bed. it has so many blankets and its quiet bc of the AC and it has my favorite things

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my best friend francesca like a lot 

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty 

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical? 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

no i dont think ive ever completely opened up if im being honest

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

i do! i want two kids!

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but i really look up to jenna mourey/jenna marbles

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

idk man im quite basic

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

im very loyal but i tend to hold a grudge so like . thats an issue

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

tina made me laugh shoutout to tina

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl 

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

invisibility baeby

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no but i like doing it

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy oops

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

i like my town but i dont think i wanna lvie here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes i have

[inthesummerswelter]

recipe for disaster: chapter two

Chapter Two: Basil

 He always comes and bothers her when she’s trying to get some work done.

Penn deliberately tip-toes around Ashton when he’s deeply in the throes of studying, placing little juice glasses at his elbow and sliding a plate of homemade garlic bread when he lets out a particularly frustrated fuck this shit goddamn out into the crisp air.

(She learned early on that small gestures like that were the best way to deal, considering that asking him how things were going was greeted with either glares and discontented mumbles or an hour-long lecture on how absurd higher education is that she really didn’t have the time to listen to.)

But, no. He can’t return the favor.

Always poking his fucking head in the small greenhouse on the terrace – an attachment that Penn had to beg the landlord to fund, with the promises of fresh fruits and veg year-round – when she’s trying to keep to her watering schedule.

He’ll sneak up on her and stick his cold nose on her neck, causing her to slosh the watering can’s contents all down her front, or tell her that she’s got something on her face when she’s pulling weeds, smearing dirt on her cheek when she turns to look at him.

And she’ll go to try to wipe it off and only make it worse, because her hands are already covered with soil, and he just stands there and sniggers at her.

Five years old in a grown man’s body.

So, Penn really shouldn’t be surprised when she’s yanked backwards by the suspenders on her gardening overalls, then, but she stumbles anyway, a yelp escaping her lips as her trowel goes flying off into the bed beside her.

“Fuck, Penn, get a hold of yourself!”

He says it with a smile tracing the words, the bastard.

She turns around, whacking him in the chest – which admittedly hurts her hand more than it should have – and relishing in his wince of pain, even though Penn knows it’s been faked.

Ashton’s hair’s a bit more mussed than usual, which is saying something, but it’s also a bit, well, different.

She steps closer to him, straddling the rows of soil, and squints. “Did you get a haircut?”

Reflexively, his hand goes up to shuffle through it, and there’s a touch of uncertainty on his face, too, which Penn finds quite strange.

“Well, not just one hair. Quite a few, I think.”

She turns back around, ignoring that poor excuse for a dad joke, and starts to pick up the beets she’s been unearthing and tosses them into the colander sitting on the gravel path.

“It looks good. What’s up? You never bother me unless it’s something importan - oh, wait.”

She lets the end of the sentence drawl off lazily, stretching the kinks out of her spine.

Hearing his bark of laughter behind her, Penn smiles to herself - a secret little grin that only tilts up the corners of her mouth – but she makes sure not to let him see. It would go straight to his head.

Excitement laces his voice as he says, “It’s autumn now. First day and all, and it’s getting nice and brisk outside, and I thought we could maybe go out and get coffee and such.”

He ends the thought firmly, much more of a statement than a question, because he and Penn both know she’s definitely going to say yes.

It’s autumn. The season of pumpkin-spice and cinnamon and chai and anise and rich, earthy flavors that send Penn’s head spinning in the best possible way.

The way the sunlight filters through the panes of glass forming the walls of the greenhouse hides the truth of the colder winds, Penn soon finds out, as she and Ashton step over the threshold and back out onto the terrace, making their way towards Penn’s flat.

They hunch towards each other instinctively, elbows brushing, and Penn’s regretting the thin long-sleeve she’s got on now. Ashton kicks the back of her foot accidentally, muttering, “oops,” and Penn just nudges her elbow into his ribs.

The colander of beets is dropped unceremoniously on the kitchen counter, to be washed later, and Cardy opens one bleary eye from where she and Clove are lying on the day’s mail.

Penn clucks her tongue at them after letting herself relish in the warmer atmosphere, and Clove’s tongue lolls out.

She decides right then and there to take them along, so she opens a drawer in the kitchen and throws two leads in Ashton’s general direction.

He catches them in the face.

“I’m assuming we’re taking the scamps with us today, then?”

She mumbles out a yes around the scarf she’s got gripped between her teeth, caught up in searching for her mittens and hat, and Ashton huffs, getting down on his knees to complete the task. Found, mittens, hat, and scarf get tossed onto the counter beside the beets as Penn exchanges her gardening clogs for proper boots, lacing them up as fast as she can.

“Okay, ready,” she says, slipping hands through the sleeves of her coat, flipping her hair out from where it’s caught under her collar, and pulling on the necessary woolen accessories.

“Jesus, it’s just a walk, not a march to death-row!”

Ashton’s practically lying on the floor, wrestling with Clove in vain to clip the lead onto his collar. Penn shares a look with Cardy, who’s already prepped and perked up considerably, considering that the word walk generally means a treat of some sort.

Finally, what seems like ages later, a sudden click and an exclamation of victory lets Penn know that Ashton’s caught himself a pup.

Of course, Clove soon catches on to the concept of treats himself and practically drags all of them down the five flights of stairs leading to the outside world.

The Shelties trot along happily in front of Ashton and Penn, pausing every so often to snuffle along an interesting piece of pavement, giving them a good leisurely pace at which to wander along to their favorite bakery.

When they go out together – which isn’t often, considering that Ashton’s classes and her work schedule aren’t really cohesive – he’s an idiot.

And by an idiot, Penn, of course, means that he’s an absolute child. Always grabbing at her hand and pointing at something shiny and colourful that catches his attention, or hunching over to whisper more terrible dad jokes in her ear, eyebright and full of laughter. So much, that they get stopped on the streets and asked where they met and how long they’ve been together.

He usually butts in before Penn can answer, twining their fingers together and inventing a convoluted story on the spot about how he rescued her from a burning building or something like that.

(She doesn’t actually know what he says. She usually tunes out his tales and instead concentrates on how his hand flexes in her own and how his eyebrows smush together after she pinches his side.)

There’s a lot of ridiculous pet names, too, normally. Things like sweetums, honeycakes, and muffin, to name a few. Generally gag-inducing and sugary enough to rot some molars.

And when she wrinkles her nose at his blatant overacting, he just smiles back at his, dimples poking into his cheeks as he prods her nose with a finger. Which she, of course, bites.

(He always fakes a grimace and ruffles her hair, much to the amusement of the inquirer.)

Eventually, when some nice young girls a few years younger than them ask the inevitable question – after they had entered the shop and Ashton had plucked off Penn’s beanie and shoved it crookedly on his own head, mirroring his slanted smile - Penn takes a stand.

Ashton’s momentarily distracts by the display of scones in the bakery’s shelves, so she jumps in immediately, rattling off their usual order and then turning back to the girls.

“I saved him from drowning,” she says, entirely serious, fingers curled around her customary to-go cardboard cup of cocoa.

And, it’s true, too.

Well, sort of.

They gasp and begin to press her for more information, but she holds up a hand to her mouth and tells them that he sometimes gets flashbacks, so she can’t really say much more while he’s around. They’re out of the door long before he straightens up again, and Penn’s sure that he’s left a few more fingerprints on the glass cases.

The current worker in the shop – Lord’s Oven, as the locals know it – already has their order memorized and boxes it up within minutes. She thanks Michael, complimenting him on the stripe of blue he’s recently added into his hair, and picks up the simple white box, carrying it over to a table situated right on the edge of the outdoor patio area that the shop recently opened.

The scent of lemon-poppyseed muffins and pumpkin ginger-snap biscuits wafts up from the opened box, and Penn smiles when she sees that Michael’s thrown in a few slices of the spiced upside-down apple bundt cake for free.

He’s a sweet kid, really, for his slightly daunting exterior.

Ashton’s already reaching one large paw in, not a hint of manners about him as he practically tears through the pretty packaging ribbon still trapped around the edges, and Penn smacks his hand away. She shushes him as he begins to protest, and then he frowns down at the top of her head, grumbles,  and steals a sip of her peppermint hot chocolate.

Prat.

  Ironically enough, it was the first day of autumn, two years prior, that they’d met. Not the autumn that it always says on the calendars, the date that comes and goes with little mention. No, the real first day of autumn that steals the breath from your lungs and hands it up for the brisk wind to waltz around the burning trees.

It was a day that caught Penn by surprise, as many of the season-changes do. She’s out on the terrace, sweeping up and trying to keep the new space clean.

Looking at the little dial on the watch that she’ll eventually lose in a month, she sees that it’s her one-week anniversary of moving into this rooftop flat, and her brush-work gets a bit more chipper.

It’s exhilarating, being out on her own for the first time in what feels like ages, getting a proper job and a proper start at a new life.

Penn’s shuffling about with her broom, clearing away the cobwebs and dead leaves left from the lack of inhabitants, trying to scope things out up here. She hasn’t had time to explore the outdoor space all week, considering the long hours she’s been working at the restaurant. The terrace itself can’t be very large. It spans a small gap in between the neighboring flat and hers, but, as she puts up her thumb to judge the distance, she thinks that there might be room for a small greenhouse.

Maybe only big enough for two benches or raised beds, but that’s definitely enough to grow her own herbs and maybe start a small veg patch, something that Gran would definitely approve of.

“Fresh is best,” she would say, puttering about her own blocks of tilled soil in her back lot, warden of the tiny gravel-bed streets that wound their way around her city of plants. The bean trellises were skyscrapers to Penn’s young eyes, leafy towers that sprung out of the ground like green magic, and the tomato cages exotic, with the circles of metal modern art.

Penn’s knack lies in more of the preparation of the food rather than its cultivation, really, but Gran’s taught her enough that she’s reasonably sure she could handle a rooftop garden of her own.              

If she can wield a boning knife, a trowel shouldn’t be much harder. Right?

There’s another small pile of last season’s leaves resting just where the bend in the building occurs, an architectural addendum that gives her at least a modicum of privacy from the person residing in the flat across the way.

She’s yet to meet them – whoever they may be, she doesn’t have a fucking clue except a pair of black wellies abandoned by their slider door – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Penn’s more of a loner to be quite frank. She’s a singular in a world of plurals.

Peas and carrots.

Cookies and cream.

Prosciutto and melon.

Thinly sliced duck liver and braised sweet onions.

And then there’s Penn.

And she is quite alright with that. After all, she’s got her own little plural to look after, a gift from Gran, although she doesn’t even know where the idea of getting two small dogs for a nineteen year-old grandchild would ever come from.

But, yes, sadly on some days and happily on others, Penn’s the mother of a pair of Shetland sheepdog pups, a brother and sister named Clove and Cardamom respectively.

(Right now, they’re just settling into their middle teens – in human years – so Penn’s got to keep a sharp eye out for any mischief.)

She can see Clove through the sliding glass doorway, slouching about on their shared rug by the kitchen counter, his impression of a dead log spot-on. But Cardy, who had been trotting around outside with her, exploring her new domain, is nowhere in sight. Quickly gathering up the last of the leaves, Penn puts away the broom just as the first few trickles of rain start to come out of the sky.

“Fuck.”

And that pretty much sums up her feelings on the downpour that drenches anything and everything still stupid enough to be outside in the seconds that follow.

But, even after much calling and wheedling and shaking the treat bag, Penn’s forced to return outside into the deluge to physically locate her wayward dog.

The terrace itself is shaped in a sort of ‘L,’ the only difference from the letter being that the angle of the actual space is quite a bit greater, more of an obtuse shape. Penn can see most of the patio and a good expanse of the neighboring flat from her spot at the kitchen door, but there’s still a blind spot right where the corner occurs.

With a deeply heaved sigh that’s got Clove staring up at her worriedly, Penn tugs on her own pair of wellies – brown with bears speckled all over them - and pulls on a mac, striding out into the torrent.

It’s the kind of rain that intends on getting its victim as drenched as possible, throwing all sorts of tricks about so it can slide under a hood, glue long strands of hair to the back of a neck, freeze the tips of fingers. Penn digs her heels in, gritting her teeth, as the wind gives a particularly violent gust, pushing her into the wall.

Grabbing the corner for support, Penn goes to round it, intending on finding Cardy if it’s the last thing she’ll do. And it might be, considering the storm seems to have ricocheted up the scale from heavy downpour to raging sea squall.

However, something’s blocking the path that her legs had intended to take, and Penn falls forward, eye clenched shut and palms out. She’s fully prepared for the stinging grit coating her hands, imprinting into her skin in angry patterns.

Instead, her hands hit something – remarkably – warm and very much animate, judging by the whoosh of breath that’s let out, catching her left ear.

Her fingers flex in with shock, nails digging into skin, and a hand curls its way around her wrist.

“Ouch.”

It’s a person.

Her neighbor, she can only assume.

Her neighbor, lying half-naked on a plastic lawn chair, apparently deciding that the middle of the rainstorm is the perfect time to go sunbathing.

“Hello. ‘M Ashton. I live just across the way.”

The voice, a mid-baritone, comes from the area above her head, and she nods, carefully extricating herself from where she’s laying on top of him and trying not to stare. Which she fails at tremendously.

(But it’s really not her fault.)

Hazel eyes blink up at her, rainwater coating the lashes and turning them a dark honey colour, just two or three shades darker than his hair, which, though being plastered against his forehead, appears to be wavy and unruly in the best of circumstances.

A dimple pops out of his cheek, drawing her attention to his mouth and a crooked grin.

Fuck.

“And you are…?”

“Penn, I’m Penn Bunting. Have you seen my dog?”

Surprisingly, Ashton nods, reaching one long – tanned, muscular, God – arm underneath the chair and drawing out a damp Cardamom, who looks more like a rat than a dog at this point.

She gives Penn a pitiful, apologetic look, but Penn’s having none of that, thank you, and frowns back down at her, already preparing a scolding in her head.

But the neighbor’s talking again, and she vaguely registers that he’s got an Australian accent.

“Are you cold? You should get your dog back inside. The weather’s absolutely dreadful.”

There’s a horribly long moment where she just stares at him in shock, completely baffled, and then her mouth starts moving before she can stop it because it’s either talking or uncontrollable laughter.

“I mean, I’m at least wearing a mac and boots! You need to get inside, before you catch pneumonia and die or something. What are you even doing out here anyway?”

He shrugs, sitting up from his prone position, skin obviously paler than normal due to the extended exposure to the elements. Already, Penn knows that he’ll be much taller than her once he stands, given how close his head is to her shoulders right now. “Just, uh, hanging out, I guess. I like the rain. It’s rejuvenating. And, anyway, I’ve got a hot bath drawn, so, if you’ll excuse me…”

She’s almost tempted to ask if he’s got little floral-scented soaps and floating tea candles too, but Penn doesn’t know him nearly well enough yet for that sort of teasing, which is why she surprises herself when she blurts out, “I make omelets most mornings. For breakfast. And tea, too. You’re welcome to come over sometime, if you’d like.”

Apparently, she surprises him, too, because he trips over the leg of the chair as he’s turning back to his flat. His hand flies up to ruffle the back of his head, and Ashton begins to nod cautiously, saying, “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good…definitely sometime.”

He waves at her, a manly shake of the wrist, and Penn tries to smile back, inwardly cringing at her lack of social etiquette – who invites a half-naked man to breakfast after falling on top of him? – and the feeling of Cardy wriggling and dripping water down the front of her mac.

(When she gets back to the flat, however, stripping down to her knickers – the rain’s soaked through practically everything, so she’s doing this for warmth – and grabbing a blanket to wrap herself in and a towel to rub Cardy down with, she doesn’t expect to see a porch light on across the other side of the terrace and a dark head peering through a window.)

(And she certainly doesn’t expect Ashton to pop by in three days’ time, bringing a carton of orange juice and a blush in his cheeks, because – didn’t she mention? – Penn’s casually flipping the eggs in her bra and a pair of men’s boxer shorts.)

  She gets knocked out of the daze of memories quite literally. Clove’s tangled himself around one of the legs of her chair and spotted a flock of doves. Her chair shakes violently, tilts onto two legs, and Penn has to pinwheel her arms furiously to stabilize herself.

Ashton chuckles, collecting their napkins and waste, settling the leftovers back into the box neatly, and tying the ribbon back up in a reasonable approximation of a bow.

The joke’s on him though, because he’s got a nice little froth’stache sitting on his upper lip, and she’s definitely going to let him walk around with that for a bit. Maybe she won’t even tell him at all.

They keep walking down the sidewalk, taking a few turns here and there until the dogs begin to recognize the area and tug on the leashes. Here there are tree-cages lining the streets, providing a red-gold overhanging archway of foliage. The door they stop in front of – for all that it and the rest of the facade looks like any other building on the well-maintained street – gives Penn a buzz of excitement that travels under her skin, a mild electric shock.

The bay window, full to bursting with leafy ferns and looking like a veritable hothouse in the middle of the city, gives no other indication as to what might lie in wait inside the flat. Penn shifts the bakery box underneath her left arm, passing over Cardy’s lead to Ashton, who accepts it gamely.

He’s as full of eagerness as the dogs, just as bright-eyed and enthusiastic. The moustache is gone now, evaporated, and that’s probably for the best, considering who they’re visiting.

She reaches forward and grasps the patina-coated knocker, rapping it firmly against the wood of the door twice, before leaning back on her heels and waiting.

A solid three minutes pass before it slowly creaks open to admit them, and Penn feels like she’s four years-old all over again, staring at the entranceway with unwarranted anticipation.

“Well, are you just going to stand there like a pair bloody loons, or are you going to come inside?”

[bandomgay]

Answer ALL the soft asks!!

cherry - what is your sexuality? im pansexual but im also sometimes identify with being a lesbian

lollipop - favorite makeup products? i dont rlly fucks with makeup,which i wanna get into makeup tho

daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be? hmm.. idk anything thats not me tbh

october - what month were you born in? june!

caress - do you like to snuggle? yeah i like being big spoon

ivory - describe your pajamas? probs unsafe but sometimes my fake ass binder and underwear and a shirt

golden - favorite stationary product? everything

freckles - most-worn article of clothing? my hottopic black highwaisted ripped jeans

twilight - best friend? van/adrian 

silk - do you like k-pop? i wont say i dont like it its just not up my alley

poppy - favorite pastel color? lol pastel pink i know im generic

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face? everything if im in love with u

sunkissed - autumn or spring? autumn tbh

buttery - favorite snack? chicken nugs lmao

whisper - how much sleep do you get? abt 3 hours or 2314 hours theres no inbetween lmao

pencil - do you own a journal? nope im dirt ass poor

cupcake - are you a good cook? idk tbh

honey - favorite term of endearment? hmm baby boy/girl tbh

clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams? idk if u mean dreams as in sleep or ur  like...dreams idk

velvet - who was your first crush? this girl in 2nd grade that became my gf but we broke up like in 4th grade ive never seen her again

paper - favorite children’s book? frog and toad because i knew they were gay

peaches - do you have a skincare routine? no tbh

mochi - favorite studio ghibli film? howls moving castle

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend? nope

strawberry - favorite fruit? apples

kiss - have you ever kissed a friend? awe that’d be cute i hope i get to

nightlight - do you read before bed? yeah

shampoo - favorite scent? brown sugar

skin - what distant relative are you closest to? none

aphrodite - favorite actress/actor? tom holland tbh theres more but it asked for 1 so..

cuddles - do you have any pets? never

ace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite? uh i dont wear dresses

sheets - sanrio or san-x characters? SAN-X!!

cream - frozen yogurt flavor? hmm i dont like froyo

watermelon - do films ever make you cry? i dont cry...ever tbh

sapphos - favorite poet? edgar allen poe 

plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own? uh alot i have ALOT!!!

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful? uh this may be weird but i really like dead roses tbh

sweetheart - favorite mug/cup? the heat changing ones those are cool

sunset - what are your pronouns? THEY/THEM

[app-jelly]

Christmas Aesthetic

Hello everyone! I’m finally back with another installment of my domestic AU. It’s March, but fuck it. As always this one is dedicated to all my bot followers.

It was a week before Christmas. The Amari household was decked out with reindeer and Santas and elves. Christmas trees filled every corner that could fit one and, in every doorway, hung a mistletoe. Outside, snow and even more reindeer, Santas, and elves blanketed the lawn. Christmas lights hung from every available surface. It was a bit much, but that was how the Amaris enjoyed their decorations.

Christmas was one of their favorite holidays, the only catch being that neither Fareeha nor Angela celebrated it. They were into it for the aesthetic and consumerism. Fareeha also really liked Santa.

She woke up that morning excited for the day’s plans. Every year since they first got together, Fareeha and Angela would drive to all the nearby malls and Christmas events in their area and get a picture with every Santa they came across. They’d make one giant collage with the pictures and send copies to their friends as gifts.

“Angela, are you up yet?” Fareeha whispered to the still form of her wife nuzzled comfortably into the mountain of pillows and blankets she accumulated every night.

No response.

She nudged her and spoke louder when she said, “Angela, I love you. Please get up.”

Angela finally cracked open one of her eyelids. Her sight was bleary from sleep, but she could make out the form of her excited wife just fine. “Good morning,” she mumbled out, closing her eye as soon as she said it. She rolled over and pulled her nest of blankets closer to herself, hoping to manage at least five more minutes of sleep.

The blankets were pulled from her body, revealing her naked form to the cold morning air. Angela shrieked from the icy assault against her body. She was definitely awake now. “Okay, okay. I’m getting up.” She sat up against the headboard, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Today’s pictures with Santa, right?”

“Yup,” Fareeha said. She tossed her wife a pair of thermal pajamas. The top matched the bottoms exactly. “I got us these pajamas to take pictures in. And I was thinking that maybe we could mix things up this year.” She put on her own pair that looked exactly like Angela’s. They had nonsensical stripes and snowflakes interspersed with Santas.

“Oh, what would you like to do differently this year?”

Fareeha pulled out yet another pair of identical pajamas, this one smaller than either of their pairs. “Let’s invite Hana. Her parents are hardly ever home so I thought it’d be nice if we took her out today.”

“Fareeha, that’s a wonderful idea.” Angela kissed her wife, laughing when she pulled back and saw her nose crinkled.

“Angela, I love kissing you, but, please go brush your teeth.”

Angela swooped in for another quick kiss before heading for the bathroom. “Why don’t you invite Hana over for breakfast as well?”

Might as well, Fareeha thought. She put on a coat and Santa hat as she made her way downstairs and out the door.

Fareeha walked through the knee-deep snow until she arrived at her neighbor’s front door. She could have used the sidewalk, but she loved messing up the snow.

“Hana!” Fareeha said as she rang the doorbell five times in a row. The door also suffered a series of harsh knocks to make sure that a certain teen would answer.

A loud thump could be heard from inside followed by the sound of slippers dragging across the floor. The door jerked open a crack revealing the sleep-deprived face of Hana Song. She shot Fareeha a glare before slamming the door closed and undoing the chain. She opened it fully, clutching at the blankets she had wrapped around herself when she felt the morning chill.

“You’re lucky I fell asleep on the couch. I literally couldn’t ignore you if I tried. What do you want?” Hana said.

Fareeha shoved the pair of thermal pajamas she brought with her into Hana’s arms. “Here, put this on. When you’re done, come on over. We’re making breakfast next door.”

Hana pulled out her phone to check the time. The display flashed an eight followed by two zeros. Eight AM, the time of day she was never awake unless she stayed up from the previous day. It was uncouth to be awake at such a time. People lacked morals, respect, common decency to be awake this early. Truly, the world possessed no good reason to –

BLARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG

Ah, yes, hunger. It would be hard to go back to sleep on an empty stomach.

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Hana slammed the door closed and hurried upstairs to change.

Fareeha returned home to the sight of her wife preparing pancakes on the griddle. She watched as Angela sprinkled cut slices of fruit onto the bubbling batter before flipping them over. The pancakes cooked for another minute before they were piled onto three separate plates.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Fareeha said once the griddle was off.

Angela frowned and smacked Fareeha’s arm with an oven mitt. “Oh, hush. I was a microwave connoisseur before I met you. Pancakes are a real improvement.”

Fareeha put her hands up in surrender before grabbing the syrup and powdered sugar, bringing them to the table.

As soon as they sat down, the front door slammed open. Hana quickly stepped through, closing the door with her foot. Her nose followed the scent of fresh pancakes until she was sitting at the table with Fareeha and Angela.

“Good morning, Hana,” Angela said.

“…ornin’,” Hana managed to croak out, her eyes drooping from lack of sleep. She stared at the pile of pancakes in front of her. Their fluffiness was an admirable trait, along with their golden brown hue. They would make a great pillow to rest her head on.

Fareeha looked on at the imminent collision with wide eyes. “Hana,” Fareeha said, jarring the teen out of her sleep haze. “Would you like something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Maybe a soda?”

Hana drowned her pancakes in syrup as she thought about her options. “Could I have a hot cocoa with a shot of espresso?”

The couple raised their eyebrows at her request. “We have instant hot chocolate mix and some leftover coffee from earlier,” Angela said.

Hana dumped a quarter of the powdered sugar onto her plate. She cut into her pancakes and stuffed them into her mouth, smiling at the perfect combination of flavors. “Hmm. I’ll just have a water then,” she said after a long bout of chewing.

Fareeha grabbed a water bottle from the fridge for Hana, who gratefully accepted it. She needed to wash down her food practically after every bite.

“Are you busy today, Hana?” Fareeha asked once everyone had finished their food.

Hana shook her head. “No, I was just going to go back to bed and then wake up fifteen hours later wondering where the day went.”

Angela looked concerned. Fareeha just smiled. “Great, why don’t you come with us to take pictures with Santa instead?”

Hana got up from her chair and pushed it back under the table. She avoided all eye contact when she said, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to pass. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Fareeha shrugged. “Neither do we.”

Hana looked at the couple suspiciously before turning her attention to the rest of the house absolutely drenched in Christmas decorations. “Your house looks like the North Pole and you win best decorated house every year.”

Angela and Fareeha both shrugged this time. “What can we say? We love soaking up the attention and it’s nice to win a three-night stay at a fancy resort every year for participating in a holiday we don’t even celebrate.”

Hana relented and took out her phone. “Fine, just let me tell my parents that I’ll be gone… How long are we going to be gone?”

“All day,” Fareeha replies.

Hana sighed as she sent the message to her parents. “When do we leave?”

She found herself buckled in the backseat of the Amari’s car soon after.

The first mall they stopped at was the local megamall. Shoppers packed the building and they had to walk fifteen minutes just to reach the first Santa of the day. Since it was so early, Santa’s Little Village had no line. The trio walked right up to Santa and posed for their first picture. Fareeha and Angela shared matching wide smiles. Hana had her arms crossed and her lips set in a frown.

For the next few Santas, the Amari’s brought props to wear. They took pictures with Santa hats, reindeer antlers, clown noses, and even Santa beards. Hana eventually lightened up, taking a more active role in their Santa hunt. For the last picture, she convinced the Amari’s that it would be fun to stage a presents heist. Of course, they didn’t let the workers know that’s what they were doing.

“Santa hasn’t caught on yet, so we should be good for a few more minutes,” Hana said.

They were hunched by the giant Christmas tree in their last mall shoving all the fake presents into huge red sacks. Grinch fingers adorned their hands.

Hana rounded the tree when all the presents were snatched to make sure there were no stragglers. “Here,” she said, handing her phone to a random shopper that was paid thirty bucks to help them. “Take pictures of us running away from Santa and security. Meet us at the west exit when we get kicked out.”

The Grinch trio hoisted their spoils over their shoulders and yelled to get Santa’s attention.

“Hey, big guy!” Hana shouted.

The mall Santa turned around to acknowledge them.

“We’ve got your presents!” Fareeha shouted next.

“And we’ll be making off with them now!” Angela finished.

The three Grinches laughed together as a surprisingly fit Santa chased after them with security in tow. The photos from their stunt were an instant favorite.

“I had a great time today,” Hana said once they arrived home. “Thanks for the invite.”

She gave the Amari’s a big hug before going back home. The couple watched her go, to make sure she made it back safely. Aside from tripping into a sizable snow pile, Hana made it back without incident.

Angela and Fareeha retreated back to their study, eager to start their collage. They dropped their photos from the day into an editing program. They smiled at Hana’s progression from grumpy to full bright smiles.

“I have to say, this year’s pictures with Santa are my favorite,” Angela said.

“Yeah, mine too.”

[purplesurveys]

270

What’s your favorite nail polish that you own? I don’t use nail polish. I move my hands around too much and anything I put on my nails would get chipped in an instant. What’s your favorite play by Shakespeare? I never enjoyed taking up Shakespeare in high school. I guess I was most engaged when we studied Macbeth, though. That or Hamlet. What’s your favorite recipe that takes less than 15 minutes to prepare? Homemade pizza. We were taught how to do it in preschool–hotdogs, mayo, ketchup, cheese on white bread then pop it in the oven toaster. I haven’t had it in like a decade just because I’ve never had time to make them, but it’s the best thing that takes less than ten minutes. It’s such a preschool recipe but since I had it so many times as a kid, it’s comfort food to me. What is the smallest thing that made you embarrassed or anxious? Ordering in restaurants, asking for help at a store, talking on the phone, asking questions, people looking at me. Anything can make me anxious really, so long as I’m thrust in the spotlight. You’ve just written the most annoying computer virus ever made. What does it do?  I used to have the world’s most annoying virus on my ancient laptop. It used to type down random Vietnamese texts on its own. Like I could be watching a YouTube video and it would make a group of Viet words show up on the search bar. If I had to wish something on my worst enemy it would be that.

Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? Fortunately no. Filipino weddings aren’t as dramatic as the horror stories I’ve heard in other countries. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do?  Dunno. Keeping a magna cum laude standing to this day is one of them though. What movie surprised you with how good it was? Wonder Woman. I never go to see blockbusters, much less superhero films. That one was a pleasant surprise. Is there anything you’re stressed out about? Yes, but I’m on Tumblr right now to de-stress so don’t remind me. Satan decides to make a new Hell for the lesser sinners where everything is mildly inconvenient. What would you expect to find there?  Ads. Lots and lots of annoying, unskippable ads. Think the Fifteen Million Merits episode of Black Mirror. Which persistent myth/misconception annoys you the most?  Can’t seem to think of any now... What’s the last video you watched on YouTube? I think it was a snippet from The Return of Superman, the Korean show with dads taking care of their kids. Do you have any extensions on your web browser? No, I don’t download third-party programs onto my Mac now since I want to keep it as clean as possible. What is the most bullshit sounding true fact that you know? The fact that mammoths were still alive when people were building up the pyramids. That or people before the 1800′s had no idea what dinosaurs were. If you were to create your own candle scent, what would it be? I don’t know. Cookie dough? I’m sure that’s been made already. Have you ever bought food online? I always have my food delivered online because I could never call them up. Are there any foods that you avoid eating? Yes. Any kind of fruit. What Oreo flavor is your favorite?  Just the regular ones. What G-rated joke always cracks you up? They’re all in Filipino so nobody would understand anyway. If you won free food and drinks for a lifetime to a restaurant of your choice, which restaurant would you choose? Vikings. It’s this huuuuge buffet restaurant so I would always have a variety of choices. What comedic sound effect would completely ruin sex? All I could think of is Mario screaming “YAHOO!” so that. Do you think they should have made a sequel to Nightmare Before Christmas where they explored the other holidays?  I’ve never seen that movie so I don’t know if it would be a good idea or not to extend it. But I know I wouldn’t want, say, Love Actually to be turned into a Halloween or a New Year’s movie, that’s for sure. What is your favorite holiday?  Halloween even though it isn’t a holiday. Do you ever make playlists? Yeah, for certain moods. I have a playlist for when I drive my car with Gab in the middle of the night and a playlist for when I’m sad, to name a couple. Do you think you could create an entirely new font?  No. I’m so not creative. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? Errr I guess sour. I’ve never had a gummy anything that tasted plain. What songs have you been listening to a lot lately? Dua Lipa’s Homecoming is SOOOOO good. It’s a breath of fresh air from New Rules, which is becoming overplayed to an extent that I don’t particularly enjoy. What was something that looked easy but turned out to be hard?  Being an adult.  Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? No, because I have no talent that I could at least show off to an audience. :/ Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Well not a talent show, but I did try out for the school newspaper. I got through the first cut, but not in the final one. I did cry; it had been my dream to be in that paper since I was in fourth grade (they only accept high school students.) I never tried out for it again and instead became part of the editorial board for the yearbook when I was a senior. When that was happening, the paper was begging me to pick them and work for them...too bad. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Nothing. That’s the stupidest thing I had ever cried about–I literally cried over nothing. Do you like peanut butter?: LOVE IT. Put it on/in my pancakes, my cookies, my cakes, my cupcakes, my chocolate bars, and on my kare-kare. Peanut butter is life. What about marshmallows?: I fucking hate marshmallows. How do you roast your marshmallows?  I don’t even eat them. Do you eat s’mores?:  Sometimes. That’s really the only time I get to enjoy marshmallows. What’s the best brand of chocolate?  Reese’s, Twix, and Maltesers. Do you own a disco ball, or know anyone who does? No. Gabie sure deserves one, though. She’s stuck in the 70′s. Own a lava lamp? I don’t but I did want one when I was like 14. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. I have glow in the dark sticks and bracelets that I got from concerts, but they’ve long faded by now haha. Ever faked an orgasm?: Never. If I couldn’t have one I’ll just let my girlfriend know and snuggle instead? Done something illegal to your car?:  No. The car wasn’t bought under my name, so if I did anything stupid it’ll be my dad who answers to that and I don’t want him to kill me. Own some type of work out machine? My mom owns one but I have no idea what it does. Ever pooped a weird color besides brown, green, or orange?: No. Are you quickly getting grossed out?  Not at all. Think a drum player for a band is hot?: I don’t find them hot, but I always found anyone who could play drums cool. Do you tend to like male or female bands better? I like bands with music I could listen to better. What scars on your body do you have? One near my eye and another on my pinky toe. Ever did something sexual in public? Sure. Do you like the taste of squid or eel?  Yep, we live on seafood down here. Ever date anybody in middle school?: I didn’t. No joke, as a grade schooler, I thought I wasn’t supposed to develop romantic feelings for anybody until I was at least 25. I just thought it was an adult thing. What was your first date like? I’ve never been on a getting-to-know-someone date...my ‘first date’ was literally the first date I had with Gab, since I went straight to asking her to be my girlfriend and never really courted her hahahaha. It was beautiful. We went to a museum and had a nice Italian dinner and had a sleepover in my house where we played video games (well she did) and had pizza delivered. It was the purest thing. What about your WORST date? Ugh. That Shakey’s date was THE WORST. It was our last date before we broke up and also my last resort to get through to her, after I realized that she was distancing herself. Everything was my treat and it was because her birthday was coming up...I felt like shit when I learned it wasn’t going to fix anything anymore. Share a really embarrassing moment?  Driving out of the gas station and nearly entering the highway when I didn’t even wait for my change :(( The gas attendant had to run after my car, since I was basically driving away from around ₱400. That’s a week’s worth of lunches, and it would have sucked if I was able enter the highway immediately. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? Nah. My mom hated it and wanted me to stay clean, so it got passed on to me. Do you find the show Family Guy absolutely hilarious?:  There are some scenes that are funny but ultimately, it’s not my humor. Most jokes just fly over my head since they’re too political or too pop culture-y for me to recognize them. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I don’t think so. Believe in mermaids/mermen?:  Nope. What piercings do you have/want?: None anymore. What tattoos do you have/want?:  Also none anymore. Hate needles. Which is cooler - pink or purple?: Pink.