#fair enough honestly we support women's wrongs etc

[ehlnofay]

Summerfest Day 2 - SECRET

All the air in the room shivers and gusts like an expulsion of breath; the sluggish, oil-slick water below resumes its flowing; Arabella, liquid metal curled lacelike over her skin, starts laughing.

It’s dark, in this dank cavern. Karliah left the lamp she carried outside and did not suggest lighting another. Perhaps it would be sacrilege. For several minutes, all had been shadow; but now if Arabella squints, she can vaguely make out the motion of the water, the distant shine of filigreed armour, the bird-mark on the floor. She can make out Karliah on the middle plinth and Brynjolf on the distant one; she can make out the cracked stone below her; she sinks down, low, into a crouch, hood pulled down over her forehead, and cackles. It echoes in her mouth, against the fabric-smoothness of her mask.

“Well,” says Brynjolf’s voice, blankly, from across the room, and again, “well.”

“The first meeting can be… overwhelming,” Karliah says, tactful. Like Arabella’s cracked under the pressure of watching someone talk to a big not-light in a hole so soggy-stale it feels as familiar as the cistern. She is still laughing – she can’t help it (it’s either funny or it’s very serious, and she’d rather not take it seriously) – as she rolls her shoulders back the way she practiced in the armoury, lets the metallic carapace unravel itself, shrinking and sinking again into her skin, to the cold metal mark she pressed like tattoo ink into the back of her neck. (She’s been branded – she’s been gulled – perhaps she should be taking it seriously, but it’s so ridiculous that she doesn’t want to.) The armour goes away. She can, just about, see her skin again.

She is still laughing, birdlike high and delighted.

Brynjolf shakes his head – she catches it only because of the way his eyes glint in the mask – and says, “Didn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d be meeting a Daedric Prince.” He sounds very deliberately careless; taking everything, very intentionally, in stride. “Suppose I’m honoured.”

“Oh, yes,” Arabella crows, “most honoured bargaining chip –” and she goes off in peals of laughter again. Her language is bleeding into Bos, a little – she’s getting her grammar mixed up in her head, blending her words in ways that should give them layers but instead just turns them to gibberish. Most-honoured, ill-weighted, played like lamb-tendon lute-strings, all an unintelligible mess of sounds. It’s all so patently ridiculous.

Brynjolf pauses, asks, “Does this happen, often?” with a nigh-audible furrow of the brow.

“Arabella,” Karliah says. “Arabella. What, the hysterics? No, or, I’ve never – Arabella, pull it together.”

“Lest your Lady think –” and the rest of it is lost to scrambled syntax, but then Arabella wipes her mouth – probably smudging her paint, she realises after the fact, damn it – and stands up straight and says, gleeful, “You liar. Well done.”

“Are you listening, now?” Karliah asks; when she moves, she gleams, ever-faint.

Arabella echoes, “Will you tell us, now? You’ve been so dreadfully surreptitious.”

Karliah gleams again. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy. I’m sorry I’ve had to mete out information so slowly. But now that you’ve transacted the oath –”

“Such a vague oath,” Arabella remarks, shark-toothed.

“I would like to hear more about the oath,” Brynjolf puts in, “and whatever else, but do we have to have this out in the dark?”

“I would like to hear about how it’s supposed to make us more powerful,” Arabella says, “and why I can’t feel any bloody difference.”

Karliah moves – coils her fingers, maybe, so her armour can slink off to puddle in her hand, pulled night-dark in toward the mark at her wrists – and Arabella can see her a little better, then, a ghostlike shape standing ill-defined on the platform. “That,” she says, soft-voiced, “relates to what I was going to say; Mercer’s –”

“Do you feel a difference, Brynjolf?” Arabella calls.

Sharply, Karliah says, “Stop interrupting.”

The water burbles quiet below them. Arabella’s smile is pinned so broadly to her face that her cheeks sting.

“We’re going back into the hall,” Brynjolf decides. His armour sloughs off as he starts picking his way back down the shadow-cracked stone. Halfway down, he looks over, his face a smudge in the dark. “No. But it’s new.”

“New indeed,” Arabella agrees, the soles of her shoes ringing against the marks in the stone; she holds her arms steady for balance as she steps onto the spit of rock. “Whatever power we expect, Karliah – it won’t come up until we’ve made amends with your goddess, will it?”

She is so very spectral, in the dark. Blue-grey, distant-pale. “Nocturnal’s favour alone is a powerful thing,” she says, clipped. “It will give us an edge.”

“Will it,” Arabella says. It is not a question. She is putting considerable effort into not giggling again.

Even in the dark, even without the masks, she can just about catch the shine of Karliah’s eyes as she looks at her. There is a lengthy pause. “It might.”

Brynjolf, a shadow almost at the end of his stone-spit tightrope, pauses. “Ah,” he says, and then, faintly disgruntled, “Really?”

“She played us well,” Arabella tells him with airy unconcern; her teeth scratch against the meat of her lip. “Very cleverly. I bought it just about enough.”

“It might help,” Karliah insists, dogged; “I – I hope it will. And I couldn’t tell you the whole truth if you remained outsiders – we would have been ineffective, barely a chance –”

Arabella slides the last half-metre of damp stone on the flat soles of her shoes, skirt flaring, hair in her mouth. She says into the dank cavern, “You sold us to curry favour.”

“Yes,” Karliah snaps; she strides down back to the ground, quick and practiced, a blur against the stone. “Yes, all right – we need her favour if we’re going to be able to return what Mercer stole, which you still won’t let me tell you about, we need – it’s been a decade.” (Arabella remembers the thick patterns of dust in these strange halls.) “It’s been a decade, Arabella, this is my life, and if bringing it back isn’t – maybe it won’t help! But I told you, it’s business.” She tosses her head; she’s still hooded, and it’s still dark, so this conveys very little. “Yes. I negotiated acquittal. And if you want to be angry about it, that’s fine, but do it less obtrusively so we can actually start –”

“I’m not angry,” Arabella says, and she licks her teeth. Karliah looks at her; in the dark, her eyes don’t flash. Her face is an ink-smudge. Arabella grins. “I just wanted you to admit it. That’s truly astoundingly selfish.”

“In fairness,” Brynjolf says, before Karliah has a chance to rail at that, and he gestures, quick and loose and just fast enough for her eyes to register it, to the lax little circle they stand in, like the points of a lopsided triangle. “Would you expect anything less?”

It’s still so dark – so little light comes in even through the entryway – but the water sounds cold and quick as it runs, and Arabella is good at taking up all manner of sensory space. “Touché,” she says through beaming teeth; shrugs, exaggerated, the motion rippling the metalline mark pressed into the back of her neck. “Really, Karliah, I don’t mind. Nocturnal can have my soul. What worth is it to me?”

[josiebelladonna]

there’s this really bizarre pattern with people who are hateful (e.g., nazis, hamas, anyone anti-israel, the maga crowd, etc.) where they’re incredibly sexually repressed. like they put in this tough, violent, dangerous image and yet, when you lift the lid off their nonsense, it’s like opening the floodgates: you see some of the most lascivious behavior you’ve ever seen in your life.

for example, the idf found terabytes of porn on every household computer in the gaza strip as well as copies of mein kampf. (THAT IS WHO YOU ARE SUPPORTING YOU MEAT PUPPETS)

for those of you in the f1 fandom, notably those too young to remember: max mosley, former president of the f.i.a., the governing body of formula one, got caught in a sex party littered with nazi paraphernalia back in 2008-ish (i remember that, too, i still get a chill up my spine thinking about it). i remember it mainly because richard hammond made a joke about mosley but it was shocking, though.

as for all of you on the left screaming your lungs out about palestine… why am i under the impression all of you are hiding something.

trump’s lechery. hell, the lechery of the entire right wing.

for those of you too young to remember tila tequila… just look her up and take my word for it.

i just think of billie’s misandry, casual racism and sexism, and most recently antisemitism (as she wore that red hand pin to the oscars and as far as i know, has said absolutely bupkis about the war over there), and now she’s dropping an album called hit me hard and soft, especially after she made such a stink about “don’t sexualize me” when she was starting out and now she’s making sexualization her entire image.

listen, it’s one thing when you’re like me and you explore your sexuality at a slow, on-and-off pace because shame weighs you down like the colossus of rhodes. but it genuinely comes off as someone who grew up in an ultra-conservative household and went off to college and is now fucking everything and everyone in sight. there’s nothing sexy about it once you put some thought into it. it’s actually kind of disturbing because a.) it makes me think about all the disney starlets who went through that exact process; b.) with the aforementioned, it gives those of us who are kinky a bad name because now, there’s this assumption that we’re going through the same thing as well; and c.) i honestly didn’t think of this until now: there’s something “off” about that title. nevermind the fact that it feels very try-hard, but it just feels wrong, like i read it wrong or something… because it feels like a glorification of sorts. “i want you to hit me, and i want you to hit me hard.” i bet anyone old enough to remember 50 shades of grey has a puckered asshole right now.

it almost feels like she’s coasting, too, because she tried doing this whole “exploring myself” shtick on her last record.

honestly, i’m just tired of this whole “white girl has false sense of empowerment” thing because it’s not just old hat at this point, but it’s not fair to other women of different backgrounds, other women who have different stories from you, other women who have undergone you-know-what and a sentiment like that can actually trigger some things. and i think of the above, in how hate groups/people who hate others are sexually repressed to of horrific extent…

we get it, billie. you’re not a kid anymore. now take off that damn red hand pin… oh, wait, you did. pussy. i wonder what else you’re hiding or are you too cowardly?

[riridontneedya]

IMPERIUM✨

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Any house Reader, Harry Potter x

Wordcount: 4,210

Warnings: SMUT, ANGST dom ,sub, daddy ,oral, teasing ,praise, spitting , chocking etc run of the mill smut.

A/N : Well the time has come I've finally given in.. I say finally didn't take much conviction lol. Anyway in this universe Dumbledore is still very much alive and no-one tried to kill one another so all is well. As always enjoy and let me know what you think xx

Summary: Draco and y/n battle it out for the new position as headmaster but what happens when they are made to work alongside one another

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please” spoke Dumbledore. He arose from his chair gently tapping his knife against his chalice in order to garner the crowds attention . Shortly everyones eyes were fixated on him. He cleared his throat and began. “I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for coming out tonight … as we all know its been a tough decision for me to step down, however! .I have no fear as I know the school will be in the safest of hands. I hand picked these two myself and in-fact trust them with my life. I know they have been working tirelessly day in and out to ensure not only my trust .. but all members of committee and most importantly our students. So with that being said when it is revealed in tomorrows assembly who the new headmaster and deputy are I want you both to know ,no matter the outcome I am so proud of you both, so let us raise a toast to our candidates . Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N and Draco Lucius Malfoy”. With that Dumbledore rose his chalice high in the air smiling warmly at the pair. Everybody followed suit and raised their glasses high in celebration.

Draco and Y/N graciously thanked everyone as they showered them with words of praise and encouragement . Just then Y/n went to speak however her words were abruptly cut short by Astoria. As if an eager child unable to contain her excitement she blurted out. “ Draco and I are so grateful for all the support, so as a thank you after this we will be having refreshments and canapés at the Malfoy manor to celebrate his new position as headmaster .. all are welcome to join”. ‘Headmaster .. oh my how incredibly presumptuous” Y/N chuckled into her drink. “Excuse me” squeaked Astoria, she spun around rapidly locking eyes with Y/n. Y/n folded her arms across her chest and began “I do believe you heard me Astoria .. you said headmaster and thats yet to be revealed so for you to address Draco as said headmaster is well.. presumptuous”. Astorias tongue prodded the inside of her cheek, you could tell by the hue of red in her face she was infuriated but trying to find the words without imploding.

“Well , I just know he will ok so yeah just know that”, spat Astoria in a feeble attempt to shake off Y/ns rightful observation’. ‘Oh I see” snapped y/n “why didn't you say it was you sooner, Sybil , Sybil Trelawney teacher of divination . What are you doing here under the guise of Polyjuice potion? I mean you could’ve just come with your crystal ball and tea leaves and said he was the winner that way instead of this elaborate scheme don’t you think?” The laughter of fellow by standers suddenly erupted around the women. Astoria who now sup parsed hues of red was the shade of a beetroot , completely enraged prepared to snap she was interrupted by Dumbledore. “ NOW now girls quell your fiery natures, this is to be a peaceful night of celebrations”. The woman smiled coyly at Dumbledore. ‘My apologies Dumbledore” y/n chimed up. “We speak no more of it ok” Dumbledore smiled and gently patted the crown of y/ns head and proceeded to make his way back to his chair. Y/N turned and smiled gloatingly at Astoria. In response Astoria screwed her face up mockingly and fled no doubt to chastise Draco for not swooping in and defending her.

“Pwoarh Nice one mate” chuckled Fred as he held out his fist waiting for Y/n to bump it. Hahah stop it you she giggled. ‘Here , should we go to the manor after this for a laugh” sniggered George appearing alongside them. “Ha, I'm sure she’s revoked my invitation effective immediately” said Y/n, as she peered over to Astoria , she could see her flailing her arms around whilst Draco made no attempt to conceal his look of boredom in the conversation. “You know what lets .. Ive been dying to get a peek of the manor anyway what harm can it do”. ‘Cracking’ the twins harmonised in unison. The trio linked arms and jollied along.

Once arrived at the manor they soon found it to be every bit luxurious as they envisioned. The floors were marble and reflected the light of the enormous crystal chandeliers suspended from the ceiling. Each stair of the grand staircase was illuminated by candle light creating an auburn strip propelling up the length of the stairs. Every inch of the manor oozed with decadence. “Wow , its rather impressive” mused y/n . “You can say that again” chimed Fred as he helped himself to a glass of champagne , handing one over to y/n. They began to mingle and drink with the rest of the party guests it was an overall pleasant evening that was until Astoria appeared before Y/n. “Glad to see you could make it y/n” said Astoria with a constipated smile. She had made little to no effort to conceal her sarcastic tone.

Y/n had no interest in rehashing todays mini confrontation. Instead she pulled a sickly sweet smile and said “ Wouldn’t miss it for the world, thank you for your generous hospitality Ms Green grass.” Astorias face dropped “green green .. she muttered, haha don’t be silly you must get use to calling me Mrs Malfoy”. Now despite y/ns fondness to antagonise Astoria at any given opportunity she couldn’t help but see she was visibly hurt. She immediately began to fumble her words in a bid to preserve her feelings “honestly , Astoria I'm sorry I didn't know the extent of your relationship .. I apologise”. Astoria still hadn’t reacted she stood stationary bottom lip protruding sad and helpless like a lost puppy. Y/n gently squeezed Astorias forearm and began to say “ look you mustn't pay it any mind, Draco wouldn’t dare indulge in any small talk with me about family life .. so don’t stress it congratulations by the way”. Astoria looked up at her with eyes softened . Relief washed over Y/n as she could tell she was receptive to her. Y/n couldn’t help but wonder to herself why he hadn’t mentioned news as big as that , they had worked so closely over these months . To be fair on a good day if you hadn’t known Draco you wouldn’t even know he had a girlfriend let alone fiancé .. or wife ?

Astoria went to talk but just then none other than Draco emerged behind her . His hand came down onto her shoulder. sharply. “ thats enough now sweetheart , I think Daphne was looking for you actually”. There was a weird exchange of eye contact Astoria weakly smiled and left. It was now just y/n and Draco stood before one another. Draco broke the silence by clearing his throat “ Y/L/N, may I interest you in a nightcap in my office ,there are things Id appreciate to discuss before we venture into our new working relationship”. Although slightly bewildered she agreed as after all they were to work alongside one another and she’d rather it be somewhat harmonious than turbulent.

Y/n followed Draco across the length of the great hall and into a pair of grand double doors. The room was vast , books littered the walls as far as the eye could see and in the corner a fireplace roared. Draco stood behind his desk and motioned for y/n to take a seat opposite him. She smoothed the back of her dress and proceeded to make herself comfortable. Draco started pouring whiskey from the crystal decanter into a couple of whiskey tumblers. The burn of the fire whisky ignited as it glided down her throat. The combination of whiskey and champagne left Y/N beginning to feel somewhat merry, she hadn’t really noticed during the quiet sobering conversation with Astoria. ‘So what is it you have in mind Draco?”. His stormy grey eyes peered over at her from behind his glass. ‘Very well” he remarked and manoeuvred himself to Y/NS side of the desk .He perched himself on the edge legs akimbo and both his large veiny hands clasped around his whiskey glass. Y/n inhaled sharply as she averted her gaze from his legs splayed before her. Continuing he said “ As you're aware I have my plans about how Hogwarts should be run , I have a detailed strategy and I plan to implement it as soon as possible .. so what I'm really asking is are you with me or against me because I have no intention of being held back”.

Y/n blinked rapidly .. she was unable to process what he was saying , how could he be so smug thinking he had headmaster place secured already. “ Fuck sake Draco, ok first that wasn’t really posed as an option now was it ?, also enough with belief that its your divine right to just be appointed as headmaster! What makes you think that if you somehow are the headmaster I will just bend at your will? Pathetic!” She scoffed into her drink. Draco began to stifle a laugh “ Ah you do amuse me y/n”, look I'm willing to let you have some creative control … only if you prove to me how badly you so desire it”. His suggestive smile sent shivers up y/n. “Fuck you Malfoy” she hissed and jolted from her seat, once she reached the door she rattled the doorknob but to no avail the door wouldn’t budge. “Open it now” she demanded . Draco slowly sauntered towards her and leant across the door “hmm I thought you liked a challenge .. guess I was wrong this will be no fun after all ” Draco was indeed correct Y/n did enjoy a challenge and he’d be gravely mistaken if he thought she would let him get away without putting up a fight”.

Something switched in Y/n she turned to face Draco who was only inches away. He towered over her with his svelte frame encased in an all black suit. ‘Is this what you want Draco hmm” she said in a sultry tone whilst hooking her finger into his belt loop pulling him closer. You want me to beg ..or would you rather me on my knees .. better yet I could be a good girl and just bend over that desk right now and let you have your way if thats what you want” . Draco's breathing was now laboured within seconds he had pulled y/n in by the waist flipped her round having her pressed against the door, his body weight up against her and his hand holding her arms in place on the door. Y/n could feel the stiffness of his impressive length against her derrière. With a shallow gasp he breathed dangerously close to her ear “ be careful what you wish for ms Y/L/N , I don’t take too kindly to false promises as I always get what I want” . With that he tossed her around to face him .Y/n was now panting her body was burning in desire she wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees there and then. No wonder Astoria was attached to his hip.. if this was anything to go off.

Y/n bit her lip she felt dizzy with emotions . Draco stood before her with a devious smile , his hands soon intertwining at her waist and face buried in her décolleté littering it with kisses making his way down to her ample bosom. Y/n couldn’t help but throw her head back in delight eliciting a small moan. That only became fuel for Draco as he hoisted her leg from the floor and wrapped it around him. It was then Y/n felt a vibration from the opposite side of the door., as if someone had knocked from the outside . It was then followed by a mousy ‘ Dray , are you in there’. Draco paused for a moment grip still tight on y/n. “What is it I'm having a business meeting , i'll be out shortly don’t hover ”. It was clear who it was… the pair unraveled themselves from one another quickly smoothing out clothing and rejigging themselves. ‘Ok let us” let me stop you Draco, Y/n interrupted pressing her finger against his lips to audibly shush him. “ As if you think id let this happen you think you get to fuck me then you do as you please and I a dutiful little lap dog . Pfffft what a joke like it or not I'm going to be your boss so the only way I'm fucking you is in the more figurative sense , now you better hurry up don’t want to keep your fiancé waiting or Is it wife hmmm”. With a quick flick from her wand she sent the door swinging open and promptly stormed out.

The day had finally arrived the great hall of Hogwarts was alive with the buzz of chatter. The sizeable table at the forefront of the hall hosted all the teachers and most importantly both Draco and y/n. Dumbledore made his way to the podium, he produced his wand and placed it at the base of his neck it acted as a megaphone propelling his voice across the hall. “Everybody if I may have your attention please.” The chatter soon died down and everyone eagerly cast their eyes on him. “ Right, I shan’t keep you in suspense anymore , it is time to announce your new headmaster & deputy ’. Both Draco and y/n fidgeted in their seats after all these months of rivalry it had boiled down to this. “ Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Ms y/n y/l/n your new headmaster !” Boomed Dumbledore. .Y/N shrieked she was giddy with excitement she couldn’t believe she had actually done it. Everyone around her broke out into wild applause there were whistles and jeers laughter overall excitement. She was being ushered by the surrounding teachers to get up to the podium to make a speech. As she was making her way she cast eyes on Draco, there he stood paler than usual and unresponsive he was there physically but not mentally his carcass stood stationary unable to ingest the news he had just been fed.

The days rolled into weeks weeks rolled into months and y/n had almost completed a whole term at Hogwarts. All was going swimmingly and albeit begrudgingly Draco was in-fact a great support on her journey. It was the last night of term and y/n sat a her desk pondering over a mountain of papers. Y/n sighed and cradled her head in her hands , she was exhausted she spent all her time dedicated to the role that she forgot to take time out for herself. There was a knock at the door “Come in” she yelled out. Draco's head emerged around the door. ‘

Oh hey you , come in come in” ushering him to the desk. ‘Oh dear , sucks to be you , regretting the position of power now?” Draco chuckled menacingly. “Ha ha very funny” she uttered dryly. “Anyway , some of the other teachers are going out for drinks but I can see you are busy” said Draco eyeballing the mountains of paper. “Yeah.. I afraid I am , but you enjoy yourself Draco have a drink for me and i'll see you next term” she smiled warmly at him. Draco locked eyes on her , hands stuffed in his pocket he began to fidget. “In all honesty I'm not the fondest of all the people going .. also Id much rather not be at home ..before you laugh or probe why just don’t because I won’t go into it but I can’t bare to spend another moment longer with …her .. so umm yeah , I can help you out here then say you make it up to me buying me a drink later?”

Y/n smirked “You’re quite then enigma aren’t you Draco ..? He raised his eyebrows at her in acknowledgement. “Fine , id appreciate that very much but I am rather tired so if it's not beneath you I can offer you a drink at mine ..”. His eyes flickered up to meet hers , stifling a smile . “Id like that ..”he said softly , ‘well then , let's get to work” y/n smiled. Draco and y/n worked through the night it was filled with chatter and laughter they felt at ease with one another. Once they finished up the momentum continued on at y/ns house. Copious amounts of fire whiskey later they found themselves delving into deeper topics having more in-depth conversations and discovering more about one another. Draco's whole demeanour was very relaxed and this was foreign to y/n. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and tie loosened. ‘You know .. you're an alright person not that much of a pain in my arse surprisingly” Draco chuckled swigging another mouthful of whiskey. “Well thats rich” laughed y/n.

“Right well I've really enjoyed this but its getting late , I can barley keep my eyes open … earlier you mentioned you didn't want to go back so .. you're more than welcome to stay …. Only if you want”. Rattled by the kind gesture he smiled affectionately. Stumbling over his words “umm yeah , thank you y/n you’ve exceeded your generosity let me at least grab us coffee for the morning then. “Sounds like a plan , hopefully you won’t find me a pain in the arse again come morning ”. With a cackle Y/n got up from the couch and showed Draco to the spare room. Once at the door she began to wish him a goodnight. As he went to hug y/n his lips grazed her cheek. Y/n suddenly recoiled , a silence loomed over them as they gazed at one another the emotions of that night in Draco's office flooding back. Y/n could feel the heat surging in her cheeks so she hastily wished him a good night and scurried to her room. Once in the shelter of her room she let out a sigh of relief. She knew it was the right thing to do but my how she craved him.

Draco burst through the door making a beeline for Y/N. He took her into his arms and kissed her with an insatiable hunger. Backing her into the wall he began to rid her of her clothing . Y/n hands clambered at his chest to do same however he abruptly stopped her “ Oh no you don’t , you think I forgot about that little stint in my office huh ? Well I didn't and I've been awaiting the day I get to fuck you senseless Ms y/n … you control me all day and now its y turn to control you .. you will do everything I say do you understand” . Enthralled by his dominance Y/n nodded enthusiastically. “Sorry I didn't hear you “ roared Draco grabbing her face towards his. “Yes who”. “Yes Draco” she moaned . “You can do better than that dear yes who, i'll only ask you one more time or i'll have bent over my knee.. so what will it be?” . “Yes … daddy “ she muttered bashfully. “Thats my girl” he bellowed. He grabbed her and thrust her onto the bed , he unfastened his tie and instructed her to lift her hands above her head. Y/n did as commanded. He bound her wrists up and hooped them over the bed post. “Now, I'm going to have my way with you and you don’t get to touch me understood!” ‘Yes daddy y/n whimpered” “ahh what a good girl you are, ugh the things I'm going to do to you”. Y/ns eyes winded in desire, Draco shimmied y/ns shirt up and instructed her to bite down using it as a makeshift gag. He suddenly began to kiss her lower abdomen slowly sliding off her trousers.

Y/n titled her hips aiding him in taking them off. Draco's eyes lit up upon the discovery of her not wearing any undergarments “oh so you were anticipating me you filthy slut” Draco chuckled darkly’. He teased and taunted kissing her inner thighs only grazing her sex, this drove y/n crazy her body craved him inside her. Draco finally delicately licked a strip against her folds causing her body to crumble at the slightest of his touch. His warm moist tongue began frantically massaging her causing her to rive in ecstasy . His tongue began to vibrate excitedly against her clitoris sending shock waves through her entire body , she bucked her hips in excitement unable to keep her composure as Draco's tongue fixated on lapping up the one spot that drove her insane. Y/n was close he was relentless with his tongue against her swollen bud , just as she was about to finish Draco withdrew. Y/ns face fell in disgust just as she was about complain he plunged his fingers deep inside her ..pumping rhythmically y/ns juices coated his fingers . His other hand sloped around her neck , eventually this caused her to release all over his hand. Draco's pupils now engulfed his eyes …he was enthralled in pleasure watching her crumble for him . “ Aren’t you a good girl , snarled Draco “squirting for daddy , whilst I love it I don’t recall giving you permission to” .y/n squirmed overcome with pleasure unable to respond.

He unhooked her and brought her to her knees. He ripped her shirt from her mouth and produced his veiny throbbing cock dripping with pre cum. Y/n gasped in astonishment and eagerly attempted to take him all in her mouth bobbing her head enthusiastically until her jaw ached and eyes began to stream. He hurled his head back in pleasure as her tongue gently caressed his pulsating tip. “Ugh yeah just like that baby “ he muttered .

Without warning y/n sucked on the tip with vigour. Draco let out a ferocious moan whilst grabbing y/ns hair fashioning it into a ponytail attempting to make her glide her tongue down the rest of his shaft. He couldn’t have her do that for too long as he surely would finish in her mouth. “You filthy filthy girl “ he beamed as he pulled her off his cock . Rocking her head back spiting in her mouth. He brought yn to her feet and began kissing her deeply interlocking his tongue with hers , she yearned so badly to touch him to feel her skin against his. “ Get over here , I want you leant over this bed frame whilst I fuck you .. I'm going to cum on that pretty pussy then I'm going to put it back in understand!” Firmly instructed Draco . “Yes daddy” that’s my girl he cooed. Draco teasingly stroked his member against her entrance this sent shock waves through y/n causing her to gyrate in hopes he would slip in. Draco caught onto this and his hand came down harshly on her derrière .y/n let out a gasp. “Don’t be greedy now” he laughed tightening his makeshift restraints on her wrists. Relentless with his teasing it was a shock to y/n when Draco abruptly pushed into her. Y/n was in euphoria as was Draco as the warmth of her walls swaddled his manhood.

Draco slammed into y/n her body rattling with pleasure, just then Draco felt himself out to release .. so true to his word he instructed y/n to lay on her back so he could empty his contents onto her. He threw his head back in jubilation upon release. As he went to enter her again this time her was slower much more gentle taking y/n into his arms. “How do you want me to finish you off baby?,like this or I could use my fingers?” Y/n shuddered remembering the bliss she was in from his lengthy fingers so it would be a no brainer to opt for them “Fingers please daddy” she uttered softly.

He untangled himself from her stood up and offered his hand . Taking her across the room he sat down in-front of the floor length mirror instructing y/n to sit in between his legs. “If its fingers you was then its fingers you’ll get but your gonna have to watch me”. His large hand sloped up her neck tenderly chocking her whilst his other massaged at her slit . Y/n was still dripping from earlier so it was light work for him to imbed his fingers into her. Y/n couldn’t take it the combination of Draco's fierce unwavering gaze in the mirror and the sheer bliss she felt with her legs quaking she soon released decorating the mirror in-front her. “Ugh your amazing baby” he beamed kissing her forehead gracefully. “Here let's get you cleaned up and we can cuddle in bed”. “Oh my … I didn't peg you as a cuddling type Draco” y/n laughed gingerly attempting to get up her legs still trembling beneath her. ���Shut up you” he scolded “when will you learn there’s a lot you still don’t know about me y/n”.

[kittyprincessofcats]

So, the ISU banned Russia and Belarus from Worlds

1. First things first: FUCKING FINALLY! I’m honestly angry it took them this long. When every other sport has been banning Russians and cancelling their events in Russia left and right, when even FIFA (FIFA!!!) banned Russia, when even the IOC asked sports’ governing bodies to ban Russia (the same IOC who couldn’t bring themsleves to actually ban Russia from the Olympics over doping), when almost every other sport had already done it, when the French government had already announced it wouldn’t let the athletes from Russia in... It was honestly getting embarrassing for the ISU to not do it. Which is the only reason I’m a little salty, because it shouldn’t take this much outside pressure for them to do the right thing just once. But at least they finally did it, thank fuck.

2. It’s heartbreaking and embarrassing that it took a tragedy as terrible as a literal war for this to happen, when between the doping scandal, the corrupt judging and the continued child abuse, the ISU had more than enough reasons to ban Russia way before this. (Especially the doping scandal... would they have just let Valieva compete? Again?)

3. “But this is unfair to Russian athletes!” Literally - shut up. Ukrainian athletes can’t go to Worlds because they’re currently being bombed and are dying. SHUT UP. It’s so freaking telling how some of you never complain when the Russian girls get overscored to hell and back, when they undeservedly get gifted everyone else’s hard-earned medals and titles, when they literally dope at the Olympics... but the moment they don’t get to compete because their country started a war, it’s suddenly “unfair”. SHUT UP. If anything, this means we’ll finally get a fair women’s competition with deserving winners and wihout judging BS.

4. Russian FS people being mad about this decision has me laughing so hard. Like, that guy who was like “No one will want to watch without our athletes”? Hilarious. Who’s gonna tell him that I literally didn’t want to watch until now? There’s a reason why, except for the Olympics, I didn’t watch any women’s events with Russians it this season.

5. “But sports shouldn’t be political!” I agree, but they unfortunately are. There’s a reason why skaters represent a specific country, why they have their flags raised and anthem played during the victory ceremony, etc. You can’t say that a skater “represents Russia” but then claim that their participation has nothing to do with Russia - that’s not how it works.

6. “But Putin and his supporters won’t care if Russian skaters are banned!” WRONG. You underestimate just how deeply political figure skating is in Russia. Every medal won by a Russian athlete is treated like it directly reflects on the government and on Putin himself. When Plushenko “only” won silver at the Vancouver Olympics, Putin threw a whole fit over it. After Pyeongchang, Zagitova and Medvedeva were given awards by Putin and took part in a pro-Putin rally (how much of that they did willingly is a question I can’t answer). When Zagitova won Worlds in 2019, Putin took the time to congratulate her. If I remember right, the Russian National (football/soccer) team also got some award for doing well in the World Cup. Sport is state-sponsored in Russia, successful athletes are constantly being held up by the media as reasons why Russia is supposedly better than other countries. Not to mention the whole state-sponsored doping scandal? Are people forgetting about that? Russia wasn’t named “ROC” at the Olympics because some individual Russians doped, it was because the Russian goverment made them dope. These skaters are not just skaters, they are Putin’s propaganda mouthpieces, whether they like it or not.

7. “But if Russians don’t get to compete, no one else’s victory will really count!” Shut up, Plushenko. I’ve said it to Eteri before and I’ll say it to you again: Sports aren’t based on “would haves” and “could haves”. If we only counted the medals that were won when every possible contender for gold was there, quite a lot of medals suddenly wouldn’t count. (If anything, we should investigate how many of those Russian medals were won with doping and therefore genuinely shouldn’t count.)

Honestly, it’s just really fucking rich that some people think a country that wasn’t even banned for doping is one that suddenly needs their right to compete defended.

tl; dr: what I said on twitter:

[ace-trainer-risu]

oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

[alyazirr]

So let me talk about the Dame Event story for a hot minute here

Another long one sorry,

In my last text wall rant that I was sleep deprived as hell writing I went over the events pretty much as a whole as well as just explaining that the event dissapointed me, now I’ve had some time to digest the story as a whole and really think on it I’d like to dive into the story and what really got under my skin.

Let me just preface this by saying clearly that we as the fandom were absolutely baited with this event, many players are members of the LGBT+ community and I myself identify as bi. This entire event and how it was handled in my opinion was not done well and has left many feeling like they used the premise as a quick cash grab from that part of the fandom – I absolutely believe this to be the case.

Now the story, the first issue I had was the reason the boys had to dress up as ‘dames’ to begin with. The idea that this queen we have never met have no reason to care about and wasn’t even given 3 lines of characterisation just shows up and demands that everyone dress like ladies because ‘down with all demon men’ is incredibly concerning to me. Diavolo the prince seemingly got out of her requests, he is after all royalty himself but I think a lot of the time we forget just how high ranking in society the brothers are. This ‘I hate all men’ attitude is incredibly childish and a toxic mindset that has literally set the feminist movement back for years. It’s equally concerning that I’ve seen fans take this ‘queen’ and raise her up as this absolute bad bitch who is awesome and death to all men when she is in fact just a bitch in my eyes.

The reason why they need to dress up aside Lucifer’s handling that they all have to ‘act like dames’ had me flashing back to visions of ‘ladies finishing schools’ and a stepford wife type situation. The way their personalities had to be obliterated in the process to fit Lucifer’s notion of ‘the perfect lady like behaviour’ is incredibly demeaning to me. As a fashion major I’ve read and researched my fair amount on the psychology of clothing and how it can both confine or embolden us. I hoped that the dames event would be handled better, Asmo is obviously our number one candidate to cross-dress and throw ‘gendered’ clothing out the window and I love him for it but I have to agree with Mammon’s wording that he ‘doesn’t mind dressing up but doesn’t like the performance with it’. The ‘perfect personality’ that had them all walking the same, eating the same and using the same etiquette stripped them of any individuality and just had me thinking back on how women were ‘expected’ to act in society and still are to a degree and it was pretty uncomfortable and I’m not surprised that by the end of it even Asmo who loves any excuse to steal the show and dress up was exhausted by all the ‘etiquette’ he was forced through by Lucifer to seemingly appease some queen.

There was no need for the etiquette, Satan is arguably one of the most refined brothers having many friends in high places, artists, directors and so on. He’s well connected and established and he clearly knows how to handle himself with dignity, asking him to abide by all these rules was overkill when he could’ve put on a dress and acted completely acceptably all by himself. Not that there were even many interactions with the brothers to begin with. Typically there is always a brief moment of affection with each brother but this event was just ‘Beel can’t walk in high heels, neither can Satan pick one to cheer on and screw the other one’. I hate how any interaction was boiled down to ‘praise’ or ‘you aren’t trying hard enough to act like this dignified lady’.

Clothing is an extension of our personalities it is part of who we are and how we are perceived. It is COMPLETELY valid for people to wear whatever they want, for women to dress more ‘masculine’ and men to dress more ‘feminine’ but there is nothing wrong with men dressing like the ‘societal men’ and women dressing as the ‘societal women’ if that is what empowers them and has them most at ease. Satan was clearly not comfortable in heels and Beel really struggled, clothing should be enjoyable not a trial to get past with pain and brute force. It is also incredibly important to point out that it is canon that Levi and Asmo do cross dress and therefore enjoy it it’s not like these boys aren’t down for it but it should be THEIR CHOICE and what makes THEM COMFORTABLE. Not the same old ‘Diavolo said so and god help you if you don’t’.

Honestly the whole putting them in dresses came across with a strong element of fetishization which I didn’t like, the mc only able to babble on about how beautiful they looked, stare or say the ‘wanted to see the boys as dames more’. In concept this event could have been EVERYTHING and in the end it was a let down that borders on uncomfortable. I don’t appreciate the undertone that if they want to wear a pretty dress then they HAVE to act like a dignified lady. As I touched on the choice should have been theirs, it should’ve been an empowering situation and not a constricting one. Lucifer actually had me holding my head in my hands in anger with how he was acting in this event and you don’t even end up with the very typical ‘romantic event ending’ with him. You just tell him he looks great and he totally brushes you off. Not even mentioning the fact that as soon as they arrive at the demon castle the ‘bomber’ has been stopped and the queen is suddenly ok with everyone just being themselves because ‘haha I don’t hate you demon men you can dress like men from next year 😊’. So as Levi said literally what was the point in all that work when they just defaulted to acting like themselves anyway. It would’ve been completely understandable if Lucifer had lectured them on behaving at the event, Mammon not trying to steal something, Beel not eating everything etc but wasn’t.

All I wanted was 2 crumbs of attention from Solomon in this event and despite the SSR card he basically may as well not even be there. Not to mention I was super excited to see what Mammon and Satan looked like but I guess I’ll have to draw that out myself. What was the point solmare, seriously what was the point.

I guess we confirmed that Mammon is literally the only one we can trust since he runs to your aid screw the queen which was the only moment I really enjoyed. 

Basically this event has me feeling several kinds of fucked up and it’s clear to me that the devs are just pushing out events to sell cards and grab cash off the audience. I love this game I really do, I’ve played more otomes than I care to admit and this is honestly one of the best I’ve come across main story wise but if they keep pumping out there half assed events to grab cash off players then I’m sorry but it’s gonna turn the majority of players off. People will be willing to spend that £10 on your in game currency to support you when you put out a quality product you worked hard on, I’ve been playing this for a year now and I still love the boys and the half main story line I’ve got through. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I would far rather wait much longer on events and enjoy a good fleshed out well written event instead of these lazy cash grabs that honestly have ended up really missing the mark and with the angel and now this event really rubbing me the wrong way.

[selkiewife]

Another perspective of the Sansa and Sweetrobin Dynamic

cw: contains mentions of rape, abuse, and sexual assault

@rhaenyra-snow I said I would tag you when I got my thoughts together. I am responding to your meta but also some of the comments and discourse I saw surrounding it. So if I get something wrong, let me know. But like I said, a large part of this is a response to the general discourse about Sansa and Sweetrobin. Obviously, you don’t have to read this, if it doesn’t interest you. It did get kind of long lol. And it’s primarily a Sansa meta. But I wanted to tag you, since you wrote the meta I am referring to. I am honestly not here to stir up any more drama, just offer another perspective of Sansa’s arc in regards to motherhood and her relationship with Sweetrobin.

First off, I completely unequivocally agree that Arya, Daenerys, and Brienne exhibit excellent maternal skills and I loved the parts of the meta that described those scenes. They were so lovely and I agree that it is a deconstruction of the typical “gnc character who isn’t maternal” trope. And I am totally here for that! For Arya specifically, as she is so compassionate and sweet and mature in the books!

And while I do think that it would be perfectly fine- and even very interesting for Sansa not to be maternal, I think it is too soon to tell that because of her age, the abusive situation she is in, and because I actually think that GRRM is doing something different in Sansa’s arc with motherhood than he is doing with Arya, Daenerys, and Brienne’s arcs. 

I think that Sansa’s situation with Sweetrobin is arguably more fucked up than the situations with Arya, Daenerys, and Pod- not their entire arcs (those are incredibly fucked up, poor children!)- just the specific “tasked with caring for a child” situation. Because even though Arya, Daenerys, and Brienne have been sexually assaulted or threatened with sexual assault, Sansa is still currently being sexually assaulted by Baelish while trying to care for her cousin, who she was almost betrothed to, who was breastfed until eight years old by Sansa’s Aunt, who Baelish murdered because she was trying to throw Sansa through the moon door... there are just a lot of fucked up levels to deal with here. There is a lot to unpack.

That being said, I am not blaming Sweetrobin at all for that. I agree that he is also dealing with PTSD. However, in real life, I would never expect a thirteen year old who is currently being sexually assaulted and groomed to be able to competently care for another child who is also dealing with PTSD, grief, etc. And I wouldn’t expect Arya, Daenerys, or Brienne to deal with it well either. If they do, that’s wonderful, but again, I wouldn’t expect it.    

The way I read it, the reason she doesn’t want Sweetrobin in her bed is because he nuzzles her breasts, trying to breastfeed- which is not his fault of course, he is seeking comfort after the death of his mother- but Sansa has a specific trigger because that is where she was groped on her forced wedding night. In the discourse, some fans were saying that Arya would let Sweetrobin sleep with her without any problems. That might be true. But whether or not Arya would allow Sweetrobin to nuzzle her in the same way isn’t really a fair measure of maternal capability because, though she is also an abuse survivor, she may have different triggers than Sansa. Recovery is different for everyone and I would never expect one abuse victim to be okay with a situation just because another abuse victim is.

That being said, I saw in a lot of the comments that people thought Sansa defenders were trying to sexualize breastfeeding. I don’t think that is true. They were saying that Sansa is being triggered. Sexual assault victims can be triggered by things that were not intended to be sexual assault. That’s what sucks about PTSD- it doesn’t care about intent. In fact, even though statistically many mothers who are survivors of molestation and sexual abuse do want to breastfeed in larger numbers than those who don’t- it still can be incredibly difficult and there are support groups and lactation therapy interventions set up specifically to offer support with this issue. That being said, she still allowed him in her room for many nights until she couldn’t take it anymore. And that is because she is compassionate to his situation. 

But even if she did not have that specific trigger, everyone has the right not to be touched if they don’t want to be- even if it is to make another person feel better. I know most people agreed with that. However, even though most fans agree with that, a lot of people were critical of the way Sansa handled getting away from her trigger- saying the way she handled the situation is proof that she is not maternal. 

I also saw people saying that Sansa was being deliberately cruel to Sweetrobin when she had his door locked. I am not going to try to defend that choice. I don’t think it was the right thing to do objectively. However, I can totally empathize with the fact that she is completely out of her depth here and does not know how to handle the situation. And like most people her age, I do not think she thought it through completely. And even then, she does let him back in her room after this incident and he sleeps with her multiple times afterwards:

He cuddled close and laid his head between her breasts. "Alayne? Are you my mother now?""I suppose I am," she said. If a lie was kindly meant, there was no harm in it.

Would Arya have made the same mistake? I agree that she would probably have been more direct. But like I said, I do think that Sweetrobin is a more difficult situation that Weasel, Missandei, or Pod. I can’t imagine any of those three children wanting to be breastfed by Arya, Daenerys, or Brienne. I also don’t remember anything described about them having horrible temper tantrums where they throw porridge bowls at people or threaten to execute people by throwing them down the moon door. I’m not saying that it is Sweetrobin’s fault- it is a result of how he was raised and how frightened and grief stricken he is- But that does make it a bit more difficult for Sansa to do the perfect motherly thing all the time in this situation. It would be hard for an adult woman to be perfect as well. Even though it is more difficult to care for Sweetrobin (through no fault of his own) Sansa is the only person that is able to do it- and people call on her to do so all the time when they can’t manage him- which I think does show that she is maternal:

"If m'lady can talk him out of bed nice," the knight said, "I won't have to drag him out." We can't have that, she told herself. 

and

"Be careful," Alayne told her. "He can hurt you, flailing. You wouldn't think so, but he can." They found a place for him, a cleft in the rock to keep him out of the cold wind. Alayne tended him until the shaking passed, whilst Mya went back to help the others cross.

This shows that she has compassion and understands that it is not his fault he has seizures. It shows that she is willing to stay and tend to him when others back off. She is also able to get him down the mountain when he is understandably terrified. 

He is afraid, she thought, and with good reason. Since his lady mother had fallen, the boy would not even stand upon a balcony, and the way from the Eyrie to the Gates of the Moon was perilous enough to daunt anyone.

"Mya will keep the mules from biting," Alayne said, "and I'll be riding just behind you. I'm only a girl, not as brave or strong as you. If I can do it, I know you can, Sweetrobin."

Alayne took Robert’s gloved hand in her own to stop his shaking.

“Sweetrobin,” she said, “I’m scared. Hold my hand, and help me get across. I know you’re not afraid.”

He looked at her, his pupils small dark pinpricks in eyes as big and white as eggs. “I’m not?”

“Not you. You’re my winged knight, Ser Sweetrobin.”

“The Winged Knight could fly,” Robert whispered. 

“Higher than the mountains.” She gave his hand a squeeze.

She makes him feel safe and she makes him feel capable. This in and of itself is an example of good mothering skills.

I said before that I think GRRM is doing something different with the maternal motifs in Arya, Daenerys, and Brienne versus Sansa. I think that in Arya, Daenerys and Brienne’s chapters the motherhood themes are there to reveal their characters- to show the readers how compassionate they are and establish them as protectors- on this we completely agree. 

I think where we disagree is that I don’t think that the motherhood theme in Sansa’s chapters are there to deconstruct her mothering skills as an individual but more to deconstruct mothering itself. Sansa is a learning character- her arc has a lot to do with unlearning the patriarchal lies she has been raised with while also learning how to survive within those constraints. She fantasized about knights and princes. So she learns the hard way that knights are not always virtuous, that handsome princes can be horrifically cruel, etc. She also fantasized about motherhood. And now she is learning that motherhood is harder than she thought. Yes mothering instinct is one thing- and Sansa’s instinct is to be compassionate to Sweetrobin. But what happens when the child is dealing with grief or has special needs, or you have no real help or you are dealing with traumatic stress yourself? Motherhood is hard as hell even for adult women who chose it, not to mention how hard it must be for girls who are Arya and Sansa’s ages. In spite of that, I do think that Sansa is rising to the occasion- not as immediately as Arya, Daenerys, or Brienne perhaps. But steadily- and I think that fits her arc since her motherhood themes are character development ones instead of character illuminating ones.

Because of this, it kind of reminds me of when people wrongly call Daenerys a bad ruler based on her ruling of Mereen. That pisses me off so much! Because Daenerys is given the most difficult ruling arc in the series. I agree wholeheartedly with the metas I have read that she is the answer to GRRM’s original question about the knitty grittiness of ruling instead of “and he ruled wisely and well.” She is an excellent ruler but her chapters are showing that ruling is fucking hard, even when you are excellent. Just as Daenerys is the answer to “he ruled wisely and well,” I think Sansa and Sweetrobin is the answer to, “she took the child under her wing and was a perfect mother to him.” Given the incredibly difficult circumstances, she is learning to be a truly excellent caretaker of him.

And look, I am not saying that Sansa is perfect! I’m not saying she is not mean spirited or petty at times. I’m also not saying that locking Sweetrobin in his room was the correct way to deal with the situation. I’m not saying any of those things. But what is compelling to me (and what I personally love about Sansa) is that she has done mean spirited things, but also extremely kind things. She is capable of sass and meanness and also true compassion. I’m genuinely not trying to erase her flaws. I know some fans do that. But fans do that with literally all the characters. I personally love her, flaws and all. I mean, I am a Theon fan first and foremost so... it doesn’t bother me when I read about her frustrations with Sweetrobin. I think it’s a realistic reaction and understandable.

And we do see that she is frustrated as hell with Sweetrobin at times, but she never lets it show- she is always sweet and soothing to him after Lysa dies. Real mothers also get extremely frustrated with their children sometimes and they strive to keep the same kind of patience that Sansa does. 

Perhaps we should view her locking him in his room as a thirteen year old abuse victim’s way of dealing with the fact that she didn’t trust herself to be sweet while voicing her frustrations with him. It was the wrong move, but she’s thirteen. Perhaps one of the actual adults in the situation could have stepped in at that point. But they don’t. And in spite of that incident, she does let him sleep with her again. She puts her own feelings aside for his. Which means that she lets him nuzzle her, even though it triggers her. It also means she gets up at night after he has a seizure to change the bed and to clean him up. This shows me that she is striving to overcome her own feelings in order to help this defenseless child. She even says here:

Why not surround him with Winged Knights? She had thought one night, after Sweetrobin had finally drifted off to sleep. His own Kingsguard, to keep him safe and make him brave.

This shows that she is continuing to let him sleep with her and also thinking about ways to protect him and give him a sense of security after he has fallen asleep. Which is incredibly maternal. Sansa is truly rising to the occasion of being motherly to Sweetrobin in spite of her triggers and her own current traumatic stress. But what is so heartbreaking is- she shouldn’t have to! And neither should Arya. They are both abused children that desperately need their own mother. So when they make mistakes with child care, I think we can view those mistakes with compassion. 

Now, I know that all I just wrote might sound ridiculous if you believe that Sansa is knowingly poisoning Sweetrobin. I personally do not take that view. I think it is just as unfounded as people who think that Daenerys will burn Kings Landing. 

I actually think that Sansa is going to eventually break out from Baelish’s manipulation and abuse and save Sweetrobin or at least try to. I think that Little Finger constantly making her an accomplice is similar to Theon with Ramsay and how he eventually saves Jeyne- but that is another meta for another time (which I do intend to write lol) and this has gotten way too long already.

Now, I could be totally wrong about all of this. As I said, this is just my interpretation- but who knows when it comes to GRRM? My faith in him has been significantly shaken based on the end of the TV series and the way he writes the sexual scenes in the books... Perhaps he is trying to say that Sansa is not maternal because she reacts the way she does to being triggered as a thirteen year old, while living in the same household as one of her abusers. But if that is the case, it is deeply misogynistic of him. 

It’s also odd that we even have to have this discussion about children caring for other children as if they were adults. Is it really fair to judge any of these characters about their maternal instincts or how they rise to the occasion of being motherly when they are all children themselves and put in such horrible situations that would be daunting for adult women? This seems to be largely on GRRM’s writing. Also the fact that we never debate how “fatherly” Jon, Robb, Theon, or Bran are, which again, possibly has to do with the writing itself. So perhaps instead of fighting each other over whose interpretation is more misogynistic, we should take a hard look at how misogynistic the writing is in and of itself. Hopefully GRRM can tie this up so that it is not as misogynistic as I fear it might be. (I truly hope so.) But that is a larger conversation to be had. 

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

so! the Fun Thing I am currently writing:

you know Isabelle if you've been here a while, but this is Slightly Different Nearer Future Worse Political Situation Isabelle, so I will describe her as she is in the relevant thing

-Isabelle is the wife of the American president. she is a wheelchair user.

skills: being Just So Fucking Smart, deliberately hiding her intelligence enough that people think she is just regular smart and underestimate her, writing speeches and other political media, poise in public, manipulating people by talking at them.

weaknesses: remembering that she personally is a human being with needs and feelings, knowing what her her feelings are, communicating about her feelings instead of keeping everyone six feet away behind a facade.

how is she so good at Making Other People Have Feelings but so very bad at "knowing that she even has any of them?" because sometimes it's like that.

but, she is married to Robert, who is President. if they were not married, he would be like, maybe a congressman? he is not stupid at all, he is a competent man and would be a competent politician on his own merits, but also, power couple.

-he is somewhat better than Isabelle at coming off as warm and genuine because he is so incredibly warm and genuine all the time that you can't think he's anything else. she comes off as "nice, but a bit reserved."

-conveniently, he has noticed that Isabelle sometimes has feelings and needs. often, he can predict what they are, in the way of people who have been married for like twenty years. also, because they have been married for 20 years he is by now a Level Twelve confidant and gets to be told what most of them are.

-even he does not know how smart she is, though, really, in a few specific arenas. she realized when she was very young that people do not like when you are smarter than they are, and adjusts accordingly, automatically.

-one of the first things Isabelle learned from watching people is that people hate it when you watch them, so she stopped letting them know what she saw, but she didn't actually stop watching.

-she combines "being that fucking smart" with "not realizing that her husband will not cringe away from her if she tells him" because, again, sometimes it's like that. you learn shit young and it sticks with you and nobody tells you different because they don't know what they'd need to tell you.

-Robert is probably, at the start of the story, the person who has the second-closest idea of how smart Isabelle actually is, and he's still off by enough that it would startle him a little.

-Theo, their dear friend, is the closest to knowing how smart she is, because Theo watches people in something like the way she does, and sees it. Theo doesn't do feelings either, though, so Robert ends up closer to understanding her overall.

-Robert is as close to her as anyone in the world, and they love each other so much. they are casually affectionate in public. they have a daughter and a life and nothing's perfect, but it's good.

-and then Robert is shot.

-he is shot on a stage. the people who shoot him take Isabelle and put her in a basement for a while, with her daughter, until Theo, who has a specific skillset, gets them out.

-ever after, Theo puts little GPS things in all of her jewelry. the people who kidnapped her let her keep her wedding ring, and if she'd had a tracker in it, she wouldn't have spent eight days in a basement.

-liberated from the basement, she flies to Rio, because it is a place that has agreed not to turn her over to the shitty people who have taken over America

-there has been a coup. lots of people are dead.

-Isabelle throws herself into caring for her daughter and running the counter-revolution, talking to the international press, making deals, smuggling things and people in and out, etc. she is doing a lot of good work. she is doing her goddamn best.

-she outsourced all of her "knowing and caring about her own feelings" and "generally making sure she is taking good care of herself" to her husband, who was good at that.

-he's dead now, for which reason she has maybe more feelings and related needs than she's ever had in her life?

-she knows she has a whole PTSD, she knows that early on. she is very smart, her trauma is huge and obvious, but, like, you can just sort of ignore that and hope it goes away, right? probably

-it takes her longer to know she is an alcoholic, because that one is harder to know. less obvious, at least to her. but she is, very definitely. she gets bad very fast.

-most people don't notice, though, because she keeps it behind the wall between her and most people.

-so she lives in Rio, and she works, and she drinks.

Isabelle is not actually the narrator of this story, though. the narrator's name is Sasha. she was a Russian diplomat living in America.

-skills: compassion, style, a few languages, being passionate about the places and people and things she loves, falling in love easily and completely.

weaknesses: keeping her temper, keeping her composure, not calling people motherfuckers when they really, really are but also it would be disastrous to do so, knowing what her own feelings are,

-did we see one of the things on that second list on an earlier list?

-also, do some of those weaknesses seem like they might be problems for someone in her line of work (diplomacy, a field in which it is often useful to be diplomatic).

-it's fine, she's charming and pleasant and smart enough to compensate for the things she is not as good at.

-also, she doesn't generally care about most politics stuff enough to get to the "this person is a motherfucker and if I do not tell them I will explode and my entrails will land on them in the shape of the word "motherfucker," stage with work people.

-she might have a different job if her whole family wasn't prominent politicians, but.

-her brother is an asshole, but, like, also he is her twin brother and she loves him. her father is an enormous fucking asshole and also dead now, and also, fuck him.

-she likes traveling and coffee and her dog and a series of women who she tries to start casual with and then either gets bored of or falls in love with and then they are like "you are, um, maybe a little intense?"

-she likes living in America, with good friends and a job she enjoys and does reasonably well.

-and then the president is shot, and there is a coup.

-her brother calls her back to Russia immediately, arranges a flight for her before any of the rest of his staff because, twin sister, obviously. they learned to be protective of each other young, Leo and Sasha.

-she spends very little time in America post-violence, when things are different and unsafe. she was there for about twelve hours before she got on a plane.

-she thinks this means that she did not experience a trauma, will not experience any symptoms worse than "occasionally being a bit sad" and does not deserve to complain to anybody about it.

-fortunately, she has some people in her life who are immediately like "you are actually having so many problems right now. did you know that when shit like this happens, there is enough trauma happening for everyone to have seconds? even if it could be worse? also, your trauma symptoms will not go away if you ignore them or pretend not to have them, so, like, therapy?"

-it would be good if Isabelle had more friends like that, but, unfortunately, most of her close friends are dead now.

-sasha, meanwhile, goes to therapy. she discovers that, if there is a minimum threshold on how bad an experience you need to have had before you call it PTSD, she is actually well past it. huh.

-also, maybe the situation with her dad was, uh, worse than she may have thought? him dying did not magically erase his effect on her life, which is unfortunate.

-sasha knew Isabelle barely, pre-assassination. not well, but she'd met her a few times. she was pretty and loved her husband and daughter and seemed smart. a little reserved, maybe.

-Sasha cries when she finds out that this woman and her daughter are still alive, but mostly because if another two people were dead, and one of them a seven-year-old girl, that would be worse, and there is not room for much worse in her heart.

-she cries mostly because her brother is in nearly the same political position as the dead man was, and if his wife and kids were missing, she would lose her goddamn mind.

-she tries not to think about what would happen if her brother was shot. he is an asshole, but he is her brother.

-her brother, meanwhile, has to deal with these fucking assholes who are running America now. god, they're just the worst, but they do seem to be in charge now, so, like, needs must.

-he does not allow sasha to do diplomatic work with them, because he knows her. he has seen her explode before. she has never exploded at work, so he has trusted her up to this point.

-she is very much already at the "if I do not call these people out on being motherfuckers, I will literally explode and my entrails will call them motherfuckers" stage with these people.

-which is fair, honestly, it's not like she's wrong, but also, she is not in charge of negotiating with these people.

-there is a counter-revolution brewing, folks trying to get America back to normal. several governments are offering a certain amount of clandestine support, because it's not great for the global stage having America just sort of, collapse a bit. also, fuck these people entirely.

-so Leo assigns Sasha to contribute to the revolution in a short list of prescribed ways, and keep him in the loop while allowing him just the thinnest possible veneer of plausible deniability.

-boy, if he has known what was going to happen later, he would for sure have assigned somebody else!

-Isabelle is running the counter-revolution from Rio, so Sasha and Isabelle have calls about once a week for a year, mostly about work.

-Isabelle is, at the start, blandly professional, but Isabelle has very few people to really talk to, as herself, the human person, to the point where sometimes she forgets the human person exists.

-she doesn't quite warm up to like "genuine closeness" but she warms up to "social chatting" as part of the work calls.

-it is hard not to warm up to Sasha, when she likes you. she is easily friendly and kind. she likes Isabelle a lot.

-like, the normal amount. the normal amount to like your work friend, for sure, definitely. she spends the most normal amount of time thinking of ways to make Isabelle smile, because Isabelle doesn't smile much.

-Isabelle drinks much too much, and Isabelle stops drinking, and Isabelle's doctor is like "is this a situation where you could get a less stressful job?"

and Isabelle is like "if you ask me that again I will get a new doctor immediately, who is less of a fucking idiot. do you have a non-idiot suggestion?"

"okay! cool and good! maybe make some friends, or try a change of scenery?"

-Isabelle's not-dead friends are Theo, and technically it is possible that some of her old friends are still alive, in America, and just can't get in touch with her because of everything. she likes to think this. it's not making anything worse to think it, so she allows herself to.

-Isabelle's friends who she can speak to are Theo, end of list.

-so, change of scenery? it might be a good idea anyway, Brazil is getting tired of having those dipshits in America yell at them. governments are not always thrilled about the idea of her living and working within their borders. they are glad she is living and working, but not in my backyard.

-when she mentions to Sasha that she is looking for a new place to live, she is not fishing for anything, she is just chatting.

-Sasha immediately says "why don't you come to Moscow? you'll be safe here. I can bully my brother into allowing you to be here and helping you to stay safe. it's nice here!"

-she says this for friend reasons, obviously, and also strategic revolution reasons, the latter of which she uses to talk Leo around.

-Isabelle comes to Russia. she is amenable to weekly dinners with Sasha. Sasha is her phone chatting work friend. maybe Sasha could one day be her real life actual friend. that would be good maybe.

-the second week, Isabelle is sitting on Sasha's couch, with her feet up on the ottoman. they have had a nice dinner and are watching a documentary and chatting in English.

-at this point, Sasha goes "oh, fuck. I do not want to be real life friends with this woman, actually. not just friends. she is so beautiful and smart and I would so much like to kiss her."

-Sasha, you have been experiencing this feeling for like at least three months. it did not just pop into your head the minute she put her feet up on your furniture. you moved her to fucking Russia because you had so many big feelings. it just got loud enough for you to notice.

-is it u-hauling to move someone across continents to live in the same city as you? how about if neither of you knows you have feelings yet?

-Sasha will realize this several months later. right now, she thinks she has acquired a new feeling.

-she dithers about this for a bit, without telling anyone, because all of her friends would be like "well, that's a bad fucking idea."

-which, like, she is not stupid. Isabelle is a martyr's widow who is both grieving still and also doing a lot of work on the public image of being a martyr's widow. good work, important work, that helps

-it would have to be a very secret thing, maybe could never be anything else. her brother would be mad about it for politics reasons.

-if Sasha asked her out, Isabelle could very easily say "sorry there are too many politics reasons" or "sorry, I am heterosexual and/or very sad still."

-it would be a very bad idea in many ways!

-Sasha knows she is going to do it anyway. she does not always identify her feelings for a while, but once she does, she commits to them.

-but also, if Sasha causes Isabelle to experience any additional bad feelings, or to not want to chat with her anymore, Sasha will explode.

-this time her entrails will spell out "sorry."

-the solution here is to slow-play it a bit, she thinks.

-Sasha is not... super good at slow-playing it.

-she opens with what she thinks is a very casual, normal question about whether Isabelle is seeing anyone, or might like to. carefully worded to be normal and subtle and friendly.

-there are two problems with this. one is that Sasha's facial expressions tell you everything she is thinking all of the time. another is that Isabelle is uncannily good at facial expressions.

-it is hard at the best of times to ask the relationship status of a person you have feelings for in a super chill super casual very normal way that will not raise suspicion.

-when you have all of the natural deceptive skills of a Golden Retriever and also you are speaking to someone who reads everyone she meets like a book, well, you're just not going to pull it off.

-the subtext behind the question is "god, I would so like to kiss you, but only if you're cool with that?"

-Isabelle absolutely knows this right away.

-she wasn't expecting this at all. she'd like to give it some thought.

-in the meantime, she tells Sasha that she is not totally disinterested in the idea of dating again ever, but it would have to be very private for a while, if she did date again. she weaves in a little bit of information about her romantic history, in order to tell Sasha that she is bi.

-she thinks she has been about as unsubtle as it is possible to be, because she sometimes forgets that most people aren't her or Theo.

-Sasha thinks she completely nailed normal and casual. she thinks Isabelle's response was very normal and casual also, while also containing a lot of useful information.

-the orientation thing was going to be Sasha's next question, but she couldn't think of a way to be like "hey hello are you interested in women?" that did not tip her whole hand, so it's great that Isabelle happened to volunteer that information while they were both being normal and causal.

-Sasha, your whole hand is already tipped. you took out a feelings billboard. she knows.

-meanwhile, Isabelle gives it some thought.

-it's not a terrible idea, really.

-well, it is, in lots of ways, but there's no risk-free way to pursue any kind of relationship, especially when you are very famous for being widowed and people want to kill you.

-no matter who she gets involved with, some people are going to be Big Mad about it, and it will make some of her work harder.

-now, given that there is no safe choice, is Sasha the safest possible choice? absolutely not, not even close, but you don't get into relationships by triangulating the safest option.

-Isabelle is lonely. she is not great at assessing her own feelings, but the thought has occurred to her before. and when someone basically took out a feelings billboard at her, but in a respectful way, well, the thought occurred to her a bit more.

-the idea of spending the next several years or maybe forever being single and married to the Mission kind of sucks, actually.

-besides, Sasha is kind, and easy to talk to, and quite pretty. she does not seem like the type to insist on too much too fast.

-this is true, that is not the kind of intense Sasha is. she just sort of falls in love at you very quickly, which not everybody wants.

-but the only way Isabelle has ever been loved in her life is "very intensely" by a man who also saw her reservedness and was comfortable with it until it gave way around him. so that's fine.

-a few weeks later, around when Isabelle is done thinking, Sasha decides it is next move time.

-she has used up all of her very normal conversational gambits and has been debating between "just telling Isabelle about her feelings, or, like, some percentage of her feelings, the normal amount of feelings to have for a person you have not kissed." or "some kind of very casual very normal very chill physical contact."

-Sasha so wants to be a chill, casual person. unfortunately, she just isn't.

-she puts her hand on Isabelle's shoulder, and Isabelle settles into her a bit, makes herself comfortable.

-they sit like that for a minute.

-Sasha is thinking "is this like, chill, normal, platonic half-cuddling or is she trying to give me a hint?"

-Isabelle has never been less subtle in her life and would be shocked to know that this is being read as "a hint" rather than "a very overt declaration of interest."

-Isabelle, who thinks everyone's intentions are fully on the page now, says "if I ever tried to be in a relationship again, it would have to be very private, at least at first. it would have to be a secret for a while, which I know isn't something everyone would be interested in. also, "being very open with people" is not part of my skill set really. I do get there, but sometimes it takes me a minute."

-her frame of reference for "the normal amount of open to be with someone you like" was Robert, who knew he was going to marry her three months in, so she might not be calibrating this perfectly.

-she is now sitting on a couch half-cuddling with Sasha, who also falls in love very fast.

-Sasha listens to this information about Isabelle's relationship needs and thinks "that's probably a large hint, right? like, almost definitely. I am pretty sure. also, all of those things are fine and I basically knew them already, so that's good. this is going really well. what do I do now? should I be like "all of those things you want in a hypothetical relationship sound good to me" or should I save that for next week, because of the slow-playing I am doing here?"

Isabelle, meanwhile, is thinking "well, I have been as explicit as it is possible to be. if she didn't want to do something secret and careful and patient, she would remove her arm and stop half-cuddling me."

-so she sits for another minute or two, to give Sasha time to make a decision.

-Sasha does not move her arm. even if she knew what Isabelle was actually thinking, she wouldn't move her arm.

-at this point Isabelle kisses her, which she was not at all expecting.

-like, it was feeling like a more plausible future option, but today? right now? not that Sasha is in any way complaining.

-they kiss for a bit, and then Isabelle briefly removes her mouth from Sasha's mouth and looks at her and goes "wait, are you surprised by this?"

and Sasha goes "a little bit, yeah? I mean, this is great, I am very pleased with this outcome, but I wasn't sure if you were..."

later, Isabelle will be like "please tell me in what way I could have been at all clearer" and Sasha is like "by using words with your mouth to talk about your feelings?"

"I did that," says Isabelle, bewildered.

"no. "if I was going to kiss somebody I would need to take it slow and keep it secret" is a logistic. "I like you and want to kiss you" is a feeling."

"why would I talk to you about kissing logistics if I didn't want to kiss you specifically? just as a hypothetical? is that a thing people do?"

neither of them is entirely sure. but also, they will have this conversation later, because right now is kissing time.

[cylonalyna]

Alyna watches Xena! S01x01 – Sins of the Past

Beware. For the road is long and full of spoilers… I mean, if a 25 years old show can be spoiled. But fair warning.

I was never a fan of Hercules so when I watched the pilot I didn’t know what Xena’s back story was and that it was Hercules who convinced her to change her ways. And because I didn’t know that, I thought Xena was just this ex-evil warrior who changed her ways because of some reason known to her. Anyway, I remember watching this episode out of boredom and thinking it’s just a female version of Hercules, but oh boy, was I wrong. Thankfully. And this thing here was supposed to be short but I made a very long recap of the episode. Sorry not sorry, I’m gonna be making recaps of the series. Yes, every single episode… Not regularly... And it's gonna be long… Deal with it.

And maybe read it and let me know what you think. :)

Oh, and if there are any grammatical or punctuation errors also let me know. English isn't my first language so there might be some things to fix. :)

We start with Xena is going through some burned village reminiscing on her past when she was just killing, pillaging and burning villages… And people too, I guess. And then there’s this boy coming out of a burned house asking for food. And when Xena asks him where his parents are, he says Xena killed them. He describes her attack as if the goddess herself showed up and fucked the village up for no reason and Xena is all like:

And it’s really one of the best moments of a pilot, because we’re shown flashback of the attack so even without watching Hercules and meeting Xena there we can see she used to be a bad bitch. So before leaving she gives the kid some bread and cheese so he could hide in his burned house and eat something before he dies of some sickness, gets killed, is eaten by wild animals in search for food etc. Brilliant plan boy, you’re a prodigy.

So then we have the scene where Xena digs a hole and puts her armor her sword and chakram there and frankly, she’s not really a clean lady since there’s still blood and some meat pieces on her chakram.

*rule #1 - wash your weapons from enemies intestines*

And suddenly, a whole bunch of villagers is chased by some warlord taken straight from Mad Max movie. Xena observes the situation, the Mad Max warlord says he’s gonna get the girls (men, smh) and then this blonde girl is all like “take me and leave everyone” and warlords are like “lmfao, nope” and Xena is all like:

*Carless Whisper saxophone solo intensifies*

Because frankly, who wouldn’t be? I know I had the same reaction to Gabrielle so I get Xena. I totally get it.

So when the warlord wants to whip Gabrielle for being insubordinate Xena suddenly jumps into action and starts kicking ass. We get backflips, kicks, punches and a really awesome action sequence until Xena is hit in the head (because she was watching if Gabrielle was safe and it got her distracted. Again, totally understandable).

Men are standing there groaning “argh, grr, rghhg” or something like that and then BOOM! Xena takes out her sword from the hole and with a laugh starts fighting them. And you can see how much fun she has. She kicks warlords’ asses and realizes they’re from Draco so she tell them to say hello from Xena. But who’s Draco? What does he do? Is he more evil then Xena? We don’t know! And… opening!

In a time of ancient gods, warlords… Well, you know it.

So later on Xena is in this small village surrounded by the villagers and Gabrielle is fawning over her and the whole situation, and Gabrielle’s father comes in being all like “thanks for saving us, but now GTFO” and this tall dude behind him wants to take Gabrielle. But Gabrielle is all like “dude, I know I’m supposed to marry you against my will and then die in childbirth or of boredom, but I’m not gonna listen to you. GTFO”. So when he leaves, Gabrielle begs Xena to take her with her. Xena being stoic and supposedly unmoved by Gabrielle words of course disagrees, because “she works alone” and… Then she tells Gabrielle she’s going to Amphipolis, because OF COURSE Gabrielle wouldn’t try and follow her. Nope. Not at all. And she goes like “don’t follow me, you don’t wanna make me mad, do you?” and of course Gabrielle is all like “yeah, no sure, I get it” but then is of course “meh, she’s not that scary. I just need a plan!”

So we move to Draco’s camp where he’s without shirt exposing his bare chest, being all handsome and shit, and being badass when catching almost four arrows at once. But then he’s sort of colorblind… I mean he notices the color of the arrow that wounded him but can’t see who has green arrows when the dude’s arrows are visible from behind his back...

*seriously Draco…*

Anyway, later he’s alone and Xena sneaks in and they have the whole who's tougher bitch, which is Xena of course, and she asks him to leave the village alone (because of her future wife or something) and Draco’s all like “yeah, sure… If you join me” and when Xena says she can’t join Draco, being a typical man he asks why. And we get this really awesome scene where Xena dramatically turns her back, stares at nothing and says she’s going home. OH, DRAMA!

So Draco becomes even a bigger drama queen than Xena and tells our warrior saying he’s dreamt of being in love with her or… fighting in battle or whatever, can’t remember, but Xena turns and Draco goes all soft and says he’ll spare those villagers. But he also asks Xena what's she looking for at home. Being still in drama mode he tells her that when he tried to come home his dad beat the shit out of him with a blacksmith’s hammer. And he survived that. Damn, he IS badass! I mean, have you people ever seen a blacksmith hammer?!

*10/10 wouldn't recommend this an educational tool*

Meanwhile, Gabrielle wants to escape home in the middle of the night and while sneaking out she… Hits strategically placed table waking up her sister Lila. Gabrielle explains to her she needs to follow Xena because she’s in lo… She wants to be a warrior like her and that she doesn’t love Perdicus and it’s her destiny. So Lila being a supportive sister is all like “Go, chase your girlf…. Dreams! Just do it!” and Gabrielle leaves.

*Lila being a supportive sister*

It’s daylight and Xena is riding Argo when suddenly her horse stops all afraid. So Xena gets off the horse that suddenly runs away and… The Blind Cyclops shows up with Draco’s dad’s blacksmith’s hammer! (I honestly don’t know if I used Saxon Genitive in the right way, but I hope you get the meaning). Xena is all like “Fuuuck, that’s a big hammer!” which makes the Blind Cyclops even more badass than he already is, but she stands to fight and humiliates him by dropping his pants. He starts bawling like a baby and Xena leaves him and continues her journey to Amphipolis, because she has no time to deal with Cyclops drama.

But Draco is plotting against Xena. He decides to attack Amphipolis and pretend it was Xena who told him to do it. Plot thickens, you guys.

Gabrielle is afraid of bridges… And gets caught by…Yes, you guessed right. The Blind Cyclops. But being a smart girl she says she’s out here to find and kill Xena because… And here we have very subtexty dialogue:

C: “How’s the young thing like you is gonna kill Xena?”

G: “That’s the point. She’d never let a man get close enough to do her. At least not that kind of do her. But a young, innocent looking girl like me, I’ll catch her totally off guard…

*You sure will, Gabrielle. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

At the same time, Xena is being followed by Draco’s warlords. They’re dumb enough to think she doesn’t know so she goes all ninja on them, fingers the Mad Max warlord… I mean, she cuts the blood to his body… Pervs. ;) And when she learns about the plan she leaves to stop the invasion.

In the next scene, Gabrielle is chilling out on the road when some old dude stops and tells her to GTFO, because she’s blocking the only route to Amphipolis. So Gabrielle convinces him to take her with him and the old dude agrees.

So while Gabrielle and the old man are traveling on the only route to Amphipolis, Xena is taking a detour through the hills for dramatic effect or something. Basically, New Zealand… I mean Greece is a beautiful place so why not show it, right? Right?

She meets those peasant women singing Bulgarian…  I mean Greek chants and rides through them, but they don’t give a shit being too into chanting and putting on stacks of… Hay, I guess. Meh, whatever.

So Xena reaches Amhipolis and goes into a tavern to drink wine and sleep with beautiful women. But unfortunately it’s not that kind of a tavern and there’s no wine and beautiful women to sleep with. All she meets are angry people, silence and… wait for it… her mother, Cyrene!

Cyrene grabs Xena’s sword and tells her she’s not welcomed there and she should GTFO. Xena wants to rally people against Draco but Cyrene is against and she tells Xena she’d rather die and that she’s not her mother. And it’s a rather powerful stuff, because we only know glimpses of Xena’s past so we don’t really know how big her crimes are. Of course burning one village and killing peasants is a big no no, but Xena is too big of a character to be hated for such a minor offense. Anyway, villagers in the tavern also tell Xena to GTFO so she does.

Draco is pissed that Mad Max warlord told Xena about his plans and tells him to pick a weapon. Sadly it’s not Draco’s father’s blacksmith’s hammer because that’s been stolen by the Blind Cyclops, but a simple spear. Still, Draco proves to be truly awesome by kicking Mad Max warlord’s ass and killing him while telling new plans to his people. Truly, he was a great choice for a pilot.

In the morning, Xena comes back to the tavern looking around hoping to find some wine and beautiful ladies to sleep with, but to her disappointment there are still none. But her sword is there. And her mom is there. Oh boy, this tension between them could cut diamonds in half. But we get a bonding moment where Cyrene and Xena open old wounds so they could heal, and Xena tells her mother she might not be able to set things right, but she’s gonna spend the rest of her life to try. It’s another great moment in this show where we see Xena in her vulnerable state and not all powerful and strong. And this moment is ruined by villagers coming into the tavern saying Xena’s army is burning fields to which Xena answers they’re lying, Cyrene feels all hurt thinking it was all a ruse and leaves, and villagers start throwing rocks at our warrior princess.

But then Gabrielle comes to the rescue! Because Gabrielle has a natural talent to talk her way out of troubles, she uses it to save Xena. She uses a cunning bluff of “if you hurt bad guy’s girlfriend imagine how pissed he’ll be”. So the villagers reluctantly agree and decide to not commit murder. After a small talk Xena takes Gabrielle on her horse and takes her to her dead brother. Because, you know, there’s no better start of a romance than a visit at the crypt.

So Xena is talking to his dead brother saying she’s lost but that she’s gonna be ok, but that she’s alone and then Gabrielle shows up saying she’s not. And by the way that they’re looking at each other we’re to believe these two weren’t into each other from the beginning? Please.

*they’ve known each other for like 1 hour and we get those looks already? So straight indeed*

Meanwhile, the villagers are waiting for Draco to make a deal, but when he shows up he’s threatening to destroy everything and kill everyone unless they tell him where Xena is. And this is another great moment for Draco, because he really is a scary and ruthless dude and I really wish he was more in this show then just 3 episodes. It was a wasted character, imo.

Anyway, while threatening the leader to kill him, Xena shows up and Draco makes fun of her asking about the homecoming. Again, he tries to convince Xena to join him and goes all Palpatine saying she should “celebrate her dark side”, but Xena is all like “pfft, fuck off and let’s fight to the death”. Draco tells her to choose weapons, but Xena leaves the choice to Draco. Now, Draco being a really smart guy and someone who knows how good Xena is with swords, chooses staffs. I’m sure he believes it’ll give him advantage or at least even oit the odds. Xena chooses the conditions and her conditions are to fight on a scaffolding. The first person to touch the ground is gonna die. Draco agrees and tells his people that whoever falls first is to be killed.

Doing a flip with the help of his people he gets to a scaffolding and grabs his staff. Xena is way more of a showgirl. She hits the dude with his staff and when he leans down she jumps on his back and then on a head of another warlord and jumps to meet her opponent.

They start fighting. It’s an even fight and Draco proves to be a worthy opponent. Soon Xena has to fight to stay on the bamboo scaffolding as it starts to fall off. The archers prepare to shoot, Cyrene shows up and everyone is thinking if she’s gonna fall. But no, Xena standing on one bamboo stick starts hitting bamboos under Draco’s feet to make him back out and leave him vulnerable. But Draco stands tough and very soon he manages to make Xena almost fall again. She manages to hang on her staff, her legs barely touching the ground. Cyrene starts panicking, being all teary, because, come on, she’s a mom. No matter how pissed our moms are at us, they worry 24/7.

Draco starts hiting Xena’s hands wanting her to let go and fall, asking her why she would die for the people that hate her. But Xena grabs Draco’s staff with her feet and doing a truly awesome backflip she manages to stand on the scaffolding again attacking him. Draco almost falls but jumps on people’s heads and give Xena a signal to join him.

And the same villagers who earlier denied Xena her wine and beautiful women to sleep with, and wanted her dead are now supporting her… Literally. She manages to stand on the arms of one person and attacks Draco. They do backflips, kicks, punches and all that for a few minutes and then with one swift kick to the chest Draco falls down on the ground and Xena jumps on his chest looking down upon him to let him know he’s just a little bitch and not a match to her skills. Xena promises to spare Draco if he leaves the valley and he agrees.

But one of his warlords decides to sneakily attack Xena from behind. Gabrielle’s warns her, but before the warrior can react Draco throws his knife at him. After all, Draco may be a ruthless warlord, but he’s honorable.

After the fight Xena is preparing to leave when Cyrene shows up and hugs Xena, who asks again for forgiveness and is, of course, given that. It's a truly awesome moment in this pilot.

But, and honestly I have no idea why, Xena doesn’t stay in the tavern for wine and beautiful women to sleep with. Maybe there is no wine and beautiful women to sleep with after all. Instead, Xena starts a fire near some woods when she hears some noise and goes into a warrior mode. But, as it turns out, it’s just Gabrielle saying she wanted to follow Xena without her noticing, but she couldn’t start a fire and it’s cold and there are mosquitoes looking lkke eagles or something.

Xena wants to send her back home, but Gabrielle says she won’t go. There’s a talk about not belonging there and Xena seems to understand Gabrielle completely. So when she gives Gabrielle a blanket we get one of the most beautiful moments in the pilot.

*couldn't find gif so you're stuck with bad screenshot*

And in the morning we see Xena and Gabrielle travelling to new adventures to right wrongs, drink wine and… Oh forget it.

This episode is all kinds of awesomeness. It’s a great introduction to a character of Xena even to those, like me, who didn’t know her from Hercules. It has tons of very well choreographed fights, amazing music and it’s a rreally strong pilot that makes you wanna see more.

10/10

[writingwithcolor]

British Bangladeshi Muslim 21 Year Old

I’m usually a lurker on this blog but, I’ve decided to send in a POC profile - mainly because it’s so rare for me to see someone like me represented in the media. In fact, I’m not certain I’ve ever seen someone Bangladeshi represented in mainstream media 

Beauty Standards 

Colourism is a very big thing still in the Bangladeshi community. My parent’s generation, despite liking to think that they’re very open minded still fall into the trap of the narrow minded view so present in the older generations. I’ve always fallen on the fairer side and as I grew up and developed mild iron deficiency, people would comment on how beautiful my skin was (and some people use the Bengali word for beautiful as being synonymous for fair), whilst my younger sister who is on the darker side but very rarely gets such comments. 

Clothing 

On a day to day basis, I wear casual English clothes or more casual Asian clothing around the house. But, for special occasions where I’m going to be with other Bengali people, I do tend to wear traditional clothing. Essentially, all the women in our house have two wardrobes; one with English clothes and one with Asian clothes. Although, nowadays, the English wardrobe seems to be growing more and more packed. A quick thing - traditional Asian clothes, especially those that are very flashy and embroidered, are heavy and so people don’t tend to wear them that often. 

But - it differs between person to person. My mum wears English clothes around the home but her older sister wears a saree - a plainer saree but a saree none the less. 

Culture 

Culture is an odd one for me because I’ve never felt as if I belonged to either one. Growing up, I didn’t fit into the typical English stereotype because I wasn’t Caucasian and I grew up bilingual. I’d also hear all these bad things about Bangladesh, and the experiences others had around me would mould the opinion I had of a country my family still refer to as their motherland. But, as I’ve grown older and actually started to make opinions for myself, I’ve begun to accept that I can be a part of both, I don’t need to be one or the other. 

Dating and Romance

In my family at least, ‘dating’ is done with the intention to marry. It all remains very chaste - with very little/no physical affection - until after marriage and almost all dates are with chaperones. The only ones that happen without chaperones are those in secret or those happening after the engagement. Nowadays, I feel like love marriages are the norm and most couples meet through being introduced by other people. 

Food

Food is a big part of our culture. In fact, if you’re invited to someone’s house, or if you pop in for five minutes, it’s considered rude to not sit down and have a cup of tea or even to have an entire meal. Food is one of the ways that we show affection for each other and, especially for important days like Eid, food plays a central role. Eating a meal together on a festival day like Eid is one of the few days of the year when all the adults and all the children gather together and spend time together. 

In my home at least, rice and curry is a staple. As Bangladesh is mainly riverine, fish is an important part of the diet. In fact, there’s a saying that if you can’t eat fish, you’re not really Bengali (which makes things a bit awkward for my uncle who is allergic to fish) and in some families there’s a tradition of a new bride cooking a fish curry on the second day of marriage. I’m not sure why, but it’s a thing. 

Home/Family life/ Friendship

I could talk about family for ages … 

My family is on the big side with my Mum being one of eight and my Dad being one of six. I’m one of three, but all of my cousins are considered like siblings - because we were raised as siblings. The familial bond is an important one and it’s often one that’s a burden to bear. For instance, as I’m the oldest granddaughter/niece/cousin I’m called affa by every cousin younger than me (Affa meaning older sister) and this burden is quite a heavy one to bear. It means that when the cousins experience any issues, they run to you to sort it out whether it’s something small or something big and it’s a burden I don’t mind shouldering. After all, it’s one I’ll likely have to carry for the rest of my life. 

Everyone older than you is treated with respect - even if you don’t want to respect them at all. For some reason, it’s an important thing.

Friendship between Bengali girls is … something else. Often we’ll break off and have our own conversation in Bengali as if it’s some sort of secret code and this usually comes in extremely handy when discussing secret birthday party plans in front of the person whose birthday we’re planning. Personally, my parents have never been strict that I can’t have any male friends - I honestly don’t think they care but I know of other parents who insist that their daughters can’t have male friends. 

Language 

To me particularly, the language was an important thing. I grew up bilingual because my grandparents lived with us and they couldn’t communicate in English. But, I don’t remember ever making the effort to learn it - it was something I picked up. I certainly can’t read or write in Bengali but I can speak it. However, this ability doesn’t seem to have transferred to my sister and most of the younger cousins. Most of my younger cousins can’t speak Bengali and so struggle to communicate with our grandparents and it’s sad to say but this isn’t strange at all. Many of the new generation British Bangladeshi’s can’t speak the language and in fact, they don’t care to learn it because they don’t see it as being worth passing along. 

Religion

As a Muslim woman, I find myself being constantly policed. Whether it’s by the media or by those around me. There seems to be a misconception that if a woman wears a hijab (the head covering) then she is the epitome of all things chaste and virtuous - but that’s not always the case. There are so many hijabis I know that don’t pray five times a day or keep their fasts or they drink etc. In fact, I’ve met a lot of muslim women who don’t wear hijab but their niyyah (intention) and their behaviour is inline with religion - my sister being an example. 

The basic 5 pillars of islam, the first of which is the shahadah which is the declaration of faith. This is whispered by father’s into their children’s ears at birth and is the last thing whispered into someone’s ear as they pass away.

The daily prayers are the second - with 5 prayers throughout the day and this is something I know many people struggle with, but I personally think that faith is a personal thing - you alone know your struggles. If you are praying 5 times a day and you are ridiculing someone who only prays once, you may think you’re doing the right thing. But for all you know - that person who prays once a day may be someone who reverted to the faith (revert being what we call converts) and they may be on the road to accepting Islam. Your two minutes of ridicule may even turn someone else away from peace they were hoping to find in Islam.

Zakat is the third which refers to giving alms to the poor and this is often done in the month of Ramadan. 

Fasting in Ramadan is the fourth pillar and during this month, Muslims fast from sun rise to sunset and we’re not allowed to drink or eat anything. (And yes - this includes water. Not even water? Is a question we always get)

The final pillar, the fifth refers to Hajj which is the yearly pilgrimage to Mecca. Everyone who is able to afford the trip and can make it, should complete it at least once in their lives. All my family who have been, have said that it is the most peaceful time they’ve ever spent in their lives. 

Things I’d like to see less of…

Muslim girls being ‘repressed’ by wearing the hijab and having a curfew and being secretly rebellious once they leave the home.

 Yes, I have a curfew but mostly it’s because my parent’s are terrified after hearing of all the stabbings and the acid attacks that happen to hijab wearing Muslim women

The overly strict father figure who is unreasonable and adores sons over his daughters. 

My father was on the strict side yes, but I realise now, after growing up and talking to him that it was all shaped on his own experiences. Yes, he might not have let me play in the streets until late like other kids but it was because when he was young, if he stayed out too late the racist teens would approach the Bengali children and attack them. My father was strict, but in the way that other parents in his position will be. (If anything, my mother is stricter … and the worst thing she does is text me a list of chores that she wants me to do whilst she’s at work)

That brings me onto the next point; the mother who stays at home being uneducated and relying on her husband for everything. 

There’s nothing wrong with that - but the issue comes when this character is used to put down Bengali women, to try and show how much better Caucasian educated women are. 

Another thing I absolutely can’t stand is the idea of a Bengali girl falling for some plain, boring Caucasian boy and he removes the wool from over her eyes, teaching her how repressed she was and how she should embrace this Western lifestyle. When a boy tried that on me in my first year of uni, I walked away from him the moment he told me that he has a hijab kink because Muslim girls are and I quote ‘untouched and I can teach them everything’.

Things I’d like to see more of…

Supportive family units. 

Whilst I might fall out with my parents every now and then, as is natural, they still support me. My father and I often head out for little ice cream cafe dates and my mother is teaching me to cook (although her cooking style tends to be put enough of this in and enough of that - there’s no measurements of anything) and my siblings and cousins and I gather as a whole every weekend. Those of us that live close enough to anyway. The 20+ of us that do gather, take over a house and all between the ages of 21 and 5 tend to be unruly and can go crazy but it’s a dynamic no one seems to want to represent.

The educated hijabi. 

Goodness, I can’t stand seeing the trope of a girl wanting to marry and pop out babies and etc - yes, it’s a valid trope but again, so many people use it to show how backwards we are. My eyes are even rolling now - Bengali Muslim girls are amongst some of the most driven people I have met and this is usually because the older women in our families weren’t given these opportunities and most people instantly assume that we’re not going to get far. 

Casual mentions of Islam - religion is a big part of a character. 

But I hate it being a controversial thing especially since Islam literally translates to ‘peace gained through submission to Allah’ and newsflash, Allah is the arabic word for God. That’s it. Why can’t we have characters who have to be home before sunset because they need to pray? Or hijabis needing to go shopping for a new headscarf or even phrases like 'this top would be so cute if it weren’t see through’ or 'if only this dress was floor length and then I wouldn’t have to wear leggings with it. I hate having to wear leggings in the heat’. These are things I regularly say! 

Wooow, this is long and I kind of ended up rambling. But I hope it helps someone! 

Read more POC Profiles here or submit your own.

[asagimeta]

Support Kara Danvers 2020

Ok ya'll here we go it's Unpopular Opinion Time

The ENTIRE EPISODE was a godsend- INCLUDING THE ENDING

But before I go there, I need to clarify because some misheard it: Kara did not call Lena a villain, what she said was that if Lena continues to go down this path that she knows is wrong, then she will BECOME a villain, and?? That isn't wrong?? Nothing good ever comes of working with Lex and Lena of all people should know this by now

I think the most disappointing thing I've seen in this fandom is how people constantly jump to Lena's defense and kick Kara in the teeth, like, babes, Kara does that enough all on her own

I know Lena is hurting, but there's an enormous difference between "I'm hurting and acting on those hurts in a probably not great way" and "I'm hurting and using that as my excuse to hurt people and put the world at great risk by working with someone who I know has never done anything but harm society at large"

But what I really am furious about is people's treatment of Kara

Kara who has tried so hard and beaten herself up so much over the smallest of mistakes and tries relentlessly to make it right and to forgive even when she's literally been shot with Kryptonite

Tonight proves beyond reasonable doubt that Kara has been backed into a corner all this time- she couldn't have told Lena a season ago, or two, she could only have told her during the very beginning of the relationship and honestly.... that's so extremely unfair to her to suggest that she should have done that

Kara DIDN'T know Lena well enough back then, she didn't know her enough to know that Lena wouldn't tell someone else or that she would be a longterm relationship, she didn't know if telling  Lena would put her into more danger or not, you cannot blame her for not knowing something she had no way of knowing

This episode was so extremely important, not just to Kara, but to the audience that Supergirl has always been aimed at: Young girls and young women

Kara has blamed herself for all of Lena's actions all this time and that just isn't fair to her, and it isn't right, no matter what motivation you argue, no matter who's "Right" and who's "Wrong", it doesn't change the fact that Lena is the one making the choices, Kara did not "drive her there", and even if she did, it's still LENA'S choice at the end of the day, and this episode did exactly what it should have: It told Kara that she can't keep blaming herself, it gave her an out, it allowed her to be relieved of her misplaced guilt, and perhaps most importantly: It told her that another person's actions are not her's to control- and therefore, not her's to feel guilty for

And this is really important for young women and young girls to hear- hell it's important for everyone but especially in a world that's so steeped in victim blaming and victimizing women, one that constantly tells girls that it's their fault for being abused, attacked, lied to, mistreated, etc- and not just from men either

It's so important to teach girls that even in female/female relationships (be they romantic or platonic) it's still possible to suffer from being mistreated, and that it isn't ok

Because Goddess knows nobody else is going to

Girls need to learn that setting boundaries is not only ok, it's IMPORTANT, no matter what kind of relationship you have or who it's with, and that it's important to take care of yourself and not take on someone else's choices as your own

Was Kara's speech harsh? Yes, but Lena needed to hear it, she needed to know that Kara couldn't and wouldn't keep letting Lena take out her hurt and anger on her- and Kara's actions are HARDLY harsh compared to how Lena has been treating her all season, she hit more than enough low-blows herself

Kara did exactly what everyone SHOULD do when in a relationship that's hurting you- tell the other person that you aren't going to allow yourself to be hurt, open your arms for the chance of forgiveness and communication and love, but establish that if they continue to cross your personal line, then you cannot and will not and SHOULD NOT continue to act like it's your fault and take the consequences for their actions

I'm not much of a Mon-El fan but "You deserve the same compassion you show others" is a message that is outrageously imporant here, for Kara and for ALL girls who look up to her, hurting yourself over the same things you're willing to forgive others over isn't good for anyone and anyone who says otherwise is not worthy of your time

I'm completely happy with this episode, overall

I think it did the best thing with the 100th theme because wile, yes, I ofcourse loved that it was Supercorp, the much bigger take away is that Kara FINALLY acheived the one thing she's constantly been missing for the last 99 episodes- The ability to forgive herself and validate her own existence and experiences by putting her foot down about letting people hurt her- no more excuses, no more arguments, no discussions

"I will not let anyone hurt me by allowing them to convince me to hurt myself" is the biggest take-away from this episode and it's IMPORTANT

Supergirl has always done well at balancing the line of forgiveness and compassion with justice and fighting for what's right and it continues to do so

Lena has not yet become a villain- as Kara herself stated- but she's on the track to be one, and she needs to be pulled back, not only is it important for Kara to address this to Lena, but it's important for the show to address it to the audience, as otherwise, it runs the risk of either turning her into a villain just as we've always feared it would, or offering her "redemption" in a way that doesn't clarify that what she's been doing all this time is wrong and on a villainness path and that's not good either because it does a disservice to Lena (as it doesn't serve to show her a proper redemption arc) and it implies that some people can get away with anything they want- another thing Supergirl has always fought against

I really hope that people look past the fact that we didn't get a gooey Supercorp moment at the end and instead honor and love the fact that we got a very strong moment for Kara Danvers as a person

[patpran]

i wasn't implying that it was up to us personally to educate them, but as a collective almost? maybe I'm doing a terrible job at explaining it, it's also late here so my brains terrible at words(get some sleep bby, pls stay healthy) but my dash is covered in I'll never support tay/kristo/new again and it just seems to be straight to cancelling them rather than education. you're reply was so astute and knowledgeable. im really grateful for your thoughts on this matter. - cancel culture anon

ah i get where you’re coming from, and i guess aggressively telling them they’re wrong could be a form of education too..... djdfksddj and thank u i got a whopping 3 hours of sleep! & to be fair the krist homophobia thing has been a known issue for the past 3(?) years, so it is fair to “cancel” krist because he has been repeatedly provided avenues to apologise yet it never came. for me i’m absolutely cool with telling singto to suck a massive COCK if he doesn’t apologise. there are jokes done in poor taste, then there are jokes like his and krist’s that are so beyond disgusting it’s really not forgivable till you apologise and maybe donate your life’s earnings to sexual assault-related charities....... am i kidding? honestly, don’t know anymore at this juncture in my life

 + here are some asks that were in respond to yours? haha

Yeah i'm not a huge fan of the whole "educate them!" thing either. Me, a 19 year old, needs to tell a 25+ year old why r*pe jokes are bad? Why you shouldn't make gross jokes about your friend? Like sure cancel culture bad etc, but i don't see why i should educate these grown men in basic human decency when they could, i don't know, educate themselves? (but also tell me why we need to educate them in the first place like hello, how can you not know r*pe is BAD)

yeaaah i feel that lol that was a FUCKED joke.... can u even call it a joke..... my God

Why do we have to educate them? Most of them are rich they have Internet they are surrounded by lgbt+ people and women everyday They should know already and if they don’t then they can listen to people’s anger and educate themselves If they decide that they aren’t going to then they can fuck off for all I care because if they can’t respect people enough to understand why the shit they said was wrong then they don’t deserve to be celebrities

i agree wholeheartedly but i’m also going to add that a lot of LGBT people in the entertainment industry (be it in thailand, or elsewhere. it’s most prevalent in thailand, though) are relegated to comedic relief or just absolute caricatures in media. and i think a lot of LGBT people (i’m talking trans women and gay men who are on the more feminine side) in the entertainment industry have internalised this narrative.  from watching thai interviews and all, it’s as if LGBT people in the industry bring some of these fictional stereotypes into reality shows as well... so yeah.... not wonderful... & therefore i’m not sso ure the LGBT people in the industry may do much to help dispel their ignorance (when it comes down to stereotypes). even so, it’s still their responsibility to educate themselves. especially when thailand is this open

[pokeheros-drama]

Ooo apparently I didn’t scroll down enough. I’m blind lol. “No Taavi, I'm gonna disrespect your religion if it includes being discriminatory towards minorities Deal with it lmao.” Honestly you should do your research first. My religion was the first religion who was against discrimination. We gave women their rights before anyone else. We made slavery a sin before anyone else. We gave black people equal rights before anyone else. My religion is against discrimination. We were the first to treat people outside our religion as equals. So don’t you bring this discrimination thing to me. We believe there is a difference between choices and things which he have no choice over. Caste, colour, creed, sex etc are things you can’t choose. Our religion and in some cases sexuality are things we can choose. We do not disrespect. We do not force you to become Muslims and start believing in what we believe In. We do not force our practices on you. In a Muslim state a Christian, a gay, and everyone of the minorities can live with security and with respect as long as they follow the law. That is Islam. That is my religion. Im not denying Muslims have done hate crimes in the past. But don’t forget Christians have too. There are black sheep’s who show extremist behaviour everywhere. But that is not our religion. If besides all that you continue to disrespect my religion and judge it based on the extremists. Then that just shows who you are as a person and you should be ashamed. “If your religion told you to jump off a bridge when you turn 50 would you still do that? If your religion told you black people were a mistake would you still believe that? If your religion told you in order to go to heaven you had to kill somebody would you still follow it?” As stated earlier my religion was the first one to give black people their rights so them being a mistake is out of question. I doubt my religion would ever tell me anything like this. But for questions sake. No I won’t kill the person. At least not without knowing why they want me to kill the person. But unless it’s not anything major no I won’t kill him. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not. About the jumping from bridge. I believe enough in my religion to know it won’t just ask me to do something for no reason. But to be honest unless they tell me that reason I won’t jump. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not “Taavi shut the fuck up already, no one cares about ur long ass replys.” You cared enough to write this. Just don’t read them if you don’t want to. “Her age was never specified on the feed. Age and sex aside, nobody owes it you to be nice. By posting that feed publicly, it shows that you're still salty over their actions despite you "understanding and not insisting anymore".” Yeah I never mentioned her exact age. True. But I clearly remember saying child/girl and not women. So don’t spin my words please. I wasn’t salty about her not being nice, I was salty about the things that drove her to be like that. I was salty about the world we live in, in which kids have to afraid of other people offering help. Whether that is the fault of society or the way this stupid world works. And honestly if you can’t understand that then there’s no point in continuing this. “I don't even know Taavi but honestly if you defend homophobic/transphobic/racist/sexist/bigoted people you're no better than the people you're defending. People have been murdered for this. Killed in the fucking streets. Executed in their own homes. And even if they're not killed, you cannot fathom the mental and emotional abuse these people face every day just for being "different from the norm." Any religion that says "turn a blind eye to bigotry uwu" is a shitty-ass religion. Trans rights.” Ok so first the people you are mentioning are extremists. I’d like to make it clear I am against all kinds of extremist behaviour. Sadly there are extremists in every religion and society. let’s just say for a second that person A is trans. Person B is transphobic. They are against trans people. They hate them, don’t respect them and believe they shouldn’t have equal rights. Person C is not transphobic. They respect trans people. They treat them as equal and believe they should have equal rights. They just don’t support them. They don’t believe being trans is the right thing to do but if someone is they got nothing against it. Now Person A is in the white zone. Person B is in the black zone. You guys automatically put person C in the black zone too when in reality they are a shade of grey. So does person C deserve the same witch hunt person B gets? No they don’t. Yet they are treated the same. Does everyone has to support you to be a good person and if they don’t see eye to eye with you they are automatically a bad person? Then explain the difference between you and the person B? Why is it just not ok to just like not support anything. I treat you with respect as much as I treat the straights. I don’t judge you. Why can’t just not be enough? You guys want equal rights? What more equality you need? We literally treat you the same. “Taavi listen man I try very hard to understand where you're coming from and I don't believe you deserve hate at all, but I really don't understand what you want to sway your opinion on the subject at hand. Truth be told, you arent lgbtq, so you have No idea what the oppression and hate we face is like. So of course some of us will get rightfully upset when you say homophobes don't deserve the witch hunt. I personally try to educate before berating someone but even then some people aren't homophobic because they're uneducated, they are like that because it's safe for them to be that way in the eyes of Society(3). So to other lgbtq people the first resort is to make homophobia something to be ashamed of, so that, you know, less hatecrimes are committed. Obviously you wouldn't understand this though, or at least not as much as we do, because you arent lgbtq. You have talked to me and my friend and we try our best to help educate you so I dont get why you haven't changed your opinion really. Just because some others get mad at you, from years of repressed oppression? I just don't understand it. - pokeheroes dot com user Riordan-“ First of all I respect you a lot for not hiding behind the mask of anonymity. More then anyone on here at least. As mentioned above all I want is for people to not treat us people in the grey zone the same way they treat the people in the black. Yes sure we aren’t in the white. But we aren’t in the black either. We don’t deserve this witch hunt these people start every time. My friends aren’t even transphobic but they just labelled them as one and continue to spout hate about them. I honestly myself believe that the people who harm others deserve the criticism yes, but me or my friends never harmed anyone. Name one person I disrespected, or treated badly just cause they were not straight. I’m sorry I can’t agree with everyone on the matter that it’s perfectly alright to be gay or whatever. I won’t force my opinion on you. I won’t ask you to stop being you. I won’t judge you just cause of that. I will respect you as much as I do others. All I want it you do the same. I’m not harming anyone. So why do you force your opinions on me. Why can’t you respect me? Why do you judge me? As to the part of you guys educating me. Trust me that is seriously very much appreciated. Maybe one day I will change my opinions. That day isn’t here yet sadly. Also I do understand the oppression they feel. Trust me I know it a lot more then you would think. (Maybe one day you will but that day isn’t t near) I also understand the hate you are talking about. It isn’t much different from the hate islamophobics give to Muslims. Just for being a Muslim I’ve been hated in the past. Just for being from Pakistan I’ve been hated in the past. That’s why I’m saying. There are people who just don’t support your views. I have seen aethists, Christians, Hindus and many more who don’t meet eye to eye with me on my views. They don’t consider my beliefs right. I don’t consider theirs. But we respect each other’s beliefs. You know? It wouldn’t be fair to categorise those who don’t look eye to eye with me but still respect me and treat me the same way they treat others in the same category as people who are against my beliefs and just wish Islam would disappear from this world. Who don’t respect me and my beliefs. Get what I’m saying? Honestly I could care less if people start getting attracted to their cars or their frying pan. It’s their choice. Sure I won’t support it. I won’t be like it’s perfectly alright to be like that. But I won’t be against it either. If someone is that’s their choice. I don’t care. I will treat them the same I treat any other person. End of story. ~~~~~~~ Love Taavi

[dippedanddripped]

On June 4, the Council of Fashion Designers of America released a statement along with action steps the organization would take to address racism, promote inclusivity, and create opportunities for Black talent in the fashion industry. Among the initiatives are an “in-house employment program specifically charged with placing Black talent in the fashion industry,” mentorship and internship programs pairing Black students and graduates with established companies, and a diversity and inclusion training program it would implement and make available to its members.

According to Pyer Moss founder Kerby Jean-Raymond, the CFDA still isn’t doing enough. As one of the most prominent Black members of the council, the designer isn’t afraid to speak truth to power, or use his platform to amplify the interests of the Black community. He attended the June 2 meeting where the CFDA wanted to discuss the ongoing Black Lives Matter protests and the systemic racism that has long been prevalent in the fashion industry.

He says he worked with other members of the CFDA — like Virgil Abloh, designer Prabal Gurung, and Public School’s Dao-Yi Chow — to craft a list of reasonable, actionable demands that CFDA members and its associated companies could be held accountable for. The points they outlined are as follows:

1. We’re calling on all U.S. retailers to train and instruct their employees to not make frivolous 911 calls for non-violent infractions.

2. We’re calling on all companies to not hire off-duty police officers in their retail locations.

3. We’re requiring that all CFDA affiliated companies commit to having 15% of their senior leadership staff be Black, the representation of what we are in the population.

4. We’re no longer accepting brands into the CFDA that do not meet these bare minimum standards of diversity.

5. We’re calling on all US retailers to commit 15% of their shelf space to Black-owned brands.

6. We will create a placement division with the CFDA that pairs Black talent with companies looking to hire.

7. We will be creating a program that pairs Black talent with established Black talent in the fashion industry.

Instead, the CFDA chose to ignore these requests, and released what Jean-Raymond calls a “fucking watered-down, bubblegum-ass statement that didn’t address the issues.”

In addition to creating more opportunities for Black talent, these requests specifically diminish the involvement between the fashion and retail industries with the police. The abolishment of the police force is Jean-Raymond’s most urgent objective of the moment, and talking about how to do it is the only reason he even agreed to this interview.

The outline for what a world without police looks like already exists, as multiple examples on social media have shown us. Reallocating inflated police budgets to youth programs, education, and healthcare would do more to diminish crime and create self-sustaining communities more akin to the suburbs, according to Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

“Affluent white communities already live in a world where they choose to fund youth, health, housing etc more than they fund police,” Ocasio-Cortez explained in an Instagram Story. “White communities bend over backwards to find alternatives to incarceration for their loved ones to ‘protect their future,’ like community service or rehab or restorative measures. Why don’t we treat Black and Brown people the same way?”

It’s a sentiment that is quickly turning into action. Cities like Los Angeles and New York have vowed to cut police budgets and reallocate those funds. The Minneapolis City Council voted to dismantle its police force. Reform laws named for Eric Garner and Breonna Taylor, two Black lives lost to police brutality, have recently been passed. But Jean-Raymond knows that there’s still a long march ahead towards police abolishment, and he’s going to do everything he can to make sure no one loses sight of the goal posts.

All over the country we’re seeing states actively taking steps to dismantle police departments or reallocating budgets away from them. Broadly speaking, how do we even start working towards abolishing the police?

It’s a multi-step process, and it requires all hands on deck for it to happen quickly. There are the immediate, short-term solutions that you see with #8CantWait and Campaign Zero’s harm reduction programs that have been around forever, but it’s really a smart approach to a bigger problem.

Semantics and words matter. Seeing catchy phrases and things like that do work. We live in a meme society, and the revolution will be memed — I think it’s important for us to have a deep dive into all of these pieces that lead to the bigger solution, which is community policing, community safety, demilitarization of the police, abolishing the police,  and all of the things we can agree society needs right now.

That’s definitely something we’re seeing in how information is being spread and the Black history narratives going viral on social media.

All of these different facts are coming to light in bite-sized, tangible bits. You’re getting it in memes and people are reposting at a rate that’s dangerously fast. We’re getting a lot of historical information thrown at us that the public may have ignored before.

And I think our collective consciousness is understanding that police are trained like a cult. We just saw that in Buffalo with the older gentleman who was pushed down — 57 officers essentially turned in their resignation because they wanted to protect [their fellow cops].

This “blue wall of silence” is a proper cult. Just like MAGA is a cult, just like Kabbalah is a cult, and just like Jim Jones had a cult. One of the things that we have to look at — and why we have to disband our current police and create completely new community-serving public safety measures — is because these people are not trained to do what they were supposed to do in the first place. Something went wrong. They’re not serving their communities, they’re not living amongst the people, they’re only serving each other. Why would you become a cop just so you could protect other cops?

““These people are not trained to do what they were supposed to do. Something went wrong. They’re not serving their communities, they’re only serving each other. Why would you become a cop just so you could protect other cops?””

It’s clear that reform isn’t enough. Campaigns for police reform like #8CantWait have their fair share of criticism, but we’ve also seen laws passed in honor of Eric Garner and Breonna Taylor that ban chokeholds and no-knock warrants.

With #8CantWait specifically, their approach is to deal with the things that we can immediately address overnight. Mayors can put these things into effect. Banning chokeholds doesn’t mean that the violence is going to stop — I don’t think anybody believes that means the violence is going to stop — but with chokeholds clearly banned, it makes it a lot harder for the [police] unions and their legal defense to justify those actions. It’s an effective thing that can reduce harm to individuals almost immediately.

The common denominator is that people in power usually agree that these killings are wrong and egregious, but what we don’t talk about enough is how powerful these police unions are and these pre-negotiated collective bargaining agreements that keep police officers from facing accountability.

So ultimately, defunding the police is about taking power away from those unions?

Defunding the police is the ultimate goal, but we also have to remember that politicians and people in power have been trying to fight these police unions and these corrupt police departments all around the country forever. So it’s super important to give credit to these organizations, like Campaign Zero and the Know Your Rights campaign, who are using tactical approaches and playing chess with the system.

At the same time, we have to give credit to the people on the street who are making noise and doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get attention. We all know that America respects money, and if they fuck with somebody’s pocket, they’re going to pay attention. We need universal pressure being put on corporations and businesses that support police.

How do we keep putting that pressure on?

One of the things that we can implement specifically in fashion and retail is to no longer call the police for non-violent offenses. [George Floyd] shouldn’t have had the police called on him for a $20 counterfeit bill in the first place, especially when we know what police have done to Black men and women historically.

Speaking of accountability, you also took the CFDA to task for ignoring the list of demands you helped put together and instead issuing a statement you found totally inadequate. In many ways, these institutions continue to fail the Black community.

It’s fucking lip service to the movement, and it’s bullshit. Honestly, this is probably one of the biggest slaps in the face that I’ve ever gotten, and me and Virgil [Abloh] are going back and forth on this thing like, “What the fuck do we do?”

As far as the way that they conducted themselves and chose to omit specific language that can make Black people feel advocated for? A governing body like the CFDA holds so much prestige within the fashion space, and for them not to advocate in the proper way leads Black people to believe that there’s not going to be any help when we get here — or if we can ever get there at all.

““This is divine intervention. We got a pandemic, no distractions. We never had a movement free of distractions the way that we do now. Now all you can do is pick a side — and if you don’t pick a side, that means you picked a side.””

Not for nothing, the CFDA also has Black people in positions of power, however oftentimes these roles can be marginalized in their organizational influence.

I’m not going to speak too much on it, but what I will say is in my experience with working within these industries, the few people of color who are there are very scared to speak out, because they’re usually retaliated against in micro-aggressive ways. And I don’t blame them for not being able to speak out.

I have a privilege because I have rights to my own company, I don’t really answer to anybody — I’ve never had to — but for a lot of people, this is a new thing. Getting by and getting up is a means of survival for a lot of Black people, so I can’t fault them for showing up in spaces and not feeling like they can be their complete selves when the removal of all of their progress can be done in a swift instant.

One of the very first things you posted when the worldwide protests were gaining steam was “

Don’t get tired

.” We’re all trying to maintain this energy and sentiment as long as we can — why do you think it’s been so sustained?

The revolution needs to take naps. We went back to school, we went back to work, and if you were very outspoken about Black shit at home and how we were being mistreated by the system, then the next day, you had to take the LIRR and go into your racist, micro-aggressive office and deal with people — you got tired.

Now, this is divine intervention. We got a pandemic, no sports, no distractions, no new movies coming out, no concerts — nothing. The world has to focus on the same Black shit we’ve been trying to get done for the past several years. We never had this before. Not in the Civil Rights era, nowhere. We never had a movement free of distractions the way that we do. Now all you can do is pick a side — and if you don’t pick a side, that means you picked a side.

Jenna Wortham described this extraordinary moment as

“a glorious poetic rage.”

How does this feel different to you than what was going on in Ferguson six years ago?

We’re at a turning point in history where it’s like: Where do you want to be in this chapter? Where do you want to tell your grandkids you stood? And who do you really think is going to win? I’d bet on the winning team, if I was you.

Here’s the thing: If evil prevails, there will be no history books. In order for there to even be a history book where we’re talking about 2020, good has to win over evil before 2050. We have to accept it as a moral issue. I don’t want to liken this to other genocides and other tragedies that have happened in the course of global history, but a lot of us would feel like if we could go back and undo certain parts of human history, we would. We’re at one of those points right now. We can collectively make the change we need to make: completely dismantle the current policing system.

Only 5 percent of 911 calls are for violent crime, so why does an officer need to show up at your house with a gun? Why do you need to pull me over for a speeding ticket with a gun drawn? Why do you need to come investigate a missing child with a gun drawn? The same way you can gauge whether to send a firetruck or an ambulance, you can gauge whether to send somebody with a loaded gun or somebody with a pen and a pad.

This is a fight you’ve been engaging in through Pyer Moss for nearly a decade now, even back in 2015 with the “They Have Names” T-shirt. How do you stay so consistent and mission-driven?

Right now, I’m only lending you my likeness so that you can bring attention to defunding the police. That’s the trade-off. This is not a self-serving mission; this is something that needs to change in my lifetime. I’m terrified of bringing children into this world.

My nephew is 15 years old, and I started this fight when he was in the nut sac. He likes Odell Beckham a lot, so he dyed the top of his hair blonde, and now he has braids at the top. He likes NLE Choppa and he’s putting me onto all these young rappers that I didn’t even know existed, TikTok challenges, and things like that.

He’s stepping into adolescence, but to some random, trigger-happy cop who’s never lived in his neighborhood in Mount Vernon, who’s on their third week of the job, that little boy becomes a grown-ass threat. That story is not unique to all these mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and grandmothers who are genuinely terrified for themselves and for everyone else just trying to conduct their normal, everyday lives. This shit is scary, and it has to stop. Anything else is not worth talking about.

““We’re in a turning point in history where it’s like: Where do you want to be in this chapter? We can collectively make the change.””

Between brands, stores, and publications, there’s certainly a renewed desire to leverage the equity of the Black community as a way to show support. But as you’ve

called out on Twitter

, there’s an egregious amount of virtue signaling and performative allyship.

I’ve remarked on it [happening] with clothing stores specifically, the ones who are now touting all these Black brands that they’ve never carried or even gone to see themselves. Magazines I’ve never even heard of are putting me in these round-ups, and it’s so disrespectful because they’re not even categorized; it’s just “Black designers.”

It’s detrimental to those who have put in the work to differentiate themselves and carve their own lanes. People who are doing really unique, gender-defying and poetic work like Telfar are being put in the same breath as a single-product DTC, venture-backed company. They’re not giving them any differentiation — just grouping them all together because they’re Black.

If they wanted to have a little bit more respect, they should admit they never supported us, and follow that up with why they’re going to start, and why you should, too. They should educate people about what we do instead of just putting us on these erroneous fucking lists. You can guilt people into buying things because we’re Black, but that can harm our businesses, because once these people feel like this “trend” is over, then they have a pass to forget about us.

[charissekenion]

What systemic racism in the British beauty industry looks like

Remember when Black Lives Matter content filled up the feeds of your preferred social platform? While the message still burdens many within the black community — as well as some allies — on a daily basis, for many it is business as usual; even one of my regular online beauty go-to’s has that in their homepage banner. I’m sure it’s more about things being back to ‘some kind’ of normal post-Covid, but who knows? To me, it seems like everyone is tired and weary of the triggering message of BLM and I believe that’s a sign that, if systems are not changed, things are likely to return to what they used to be, the word diversitybecoming one of those words people say out loud while using air quotes. I’ve already written about my own personal experience as a mixed/black woman in the beauty world, but I wanted to try and tackle the systems within the beauty industry. If I’ve missed anything, let me know!

Brands/Agencies Throughout the early days of BLM, brands and agencies around the globe paid close attention to where their ads were appearing. It wasn’t a moral stance however; brands had learned that ads placed near George Floyd or protest-related content, monetized at 57%* lower than other news content. The investment simply wasn’t worth it and words/phrases such as Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, Minneapolis and Black people were put on industry blocklists. While blocklists surely began as a way for the industry to ensure it wasn’t placing insensitive ads, in 2020 brands are using them purely because of the bottom line; revenue.

For me, the brands that have stood out during BLM are the ones that are more thoughtful in how they can help, long-term. Praise was given to Emily Weiss of Glossier for starting a grant for black-owned beauty businesses. Another stand-out show of support came from Caroline Hirons, a brand in her own right.

Hirons is known as the queen of skincare amongst the UK press — and she knows that is a very white press. She took a few days to get her ‘ducks in a row’, early on when BLM was being heavily supported, ensuring her donations were able to have Gift Aid applied (more of the cash actually going to the organisation), before announcing that she would be giving 100 percent of the 2020 proceeds from her best-selling Double Cleanse with Pixi to Black Lives Matter. Pixi duly matched her donation.

But for every positive there were several embarrassing examples of how notto do it. I don’t have the time or energy to give a comprehensive list of just how many brands got it so wrong during the days that followed #blackouttuesday for instance.

I’m not about forcing anyone to do anything, because if you don’t care, why would I want your help? For me the blame lays with brands who have the means to send out the right messages on the daily via social and in the media. It wasn’t just about calling out RMS Beauty on their Instagram for hiring such an insensitive social media manager. It was more about checking out the feeds of Maybelline, Chanel Beauty, etc, etc, and seeing if they had ever shown diversity in their campaigns. The results were lacklustre to say the least, but, if there was one truly classic example of what not to do, the medal would go to Marcia Kilgore (founder of Beauty Pie, Fit Flop, Bliss). I’ve been a diehard fan of Kilgore and her work ethic for years and I’ve lost count of how many interviews I’ve listened to of Kilgore sharing her business journey.

But throughout BLM I’ve seen some shockers coming from (seemingly) Kilgore’s own hand. I’ve been sent screenshots of comments on Instagram (later deleted) including one that shows Kilgore using the shrugs emoji. One of Beauty Pie’s diehard (white) fans just didn’t get why Beauty Pie was receiving negative feedback after not standing up soon enough or strongly enough for BLM. Kilgore replied to her fan with the shrug — she might as well have said: ‘gee, we just can’t seem to please these people.’

The Influencer Whether you love influencer culture or not, it’s clear that, for now, it’s here to stay. Mostly dominated by (white) women, with some being worth over £4million here in the UK, whatever their chosen area of specialisation, there seems to be a very cookie-cutter approach as to what and who’s adored and accepted. Look at wellness, look at fashion, and of course, beauty, and you’ll find that the popular accounts are usually owned by very blonde, very slim women. Life is just one long Instagram Story compiled of working out in Lululemon, wearing makeup from an expensive brand that’s never looked past 10 shades, sipping an iced green tea and getting your wedding paid for by your clever agency rep who’s reached out to countless companies that are guaranteed to find you so palatable and on-brand.

Now, I am not coming for these women; these women can exist alongside the women that I choose to follow — the women that can and do in fact influence me and how I purchase, whether they get paid or not. And there’s the rub. Brands have been making tons of excess profits from women of colour who just love that brand — essentially unpaid micro influencers.

As a self-confessed beauty addict, I know the allure of the ‘next big thing’. I know how it is when you feel, or felt, that that brand actually understood you. When that new shiny purchase arrives from the likes of Glossier, you’re like, ‘hey friend’, and off you go, sharing your unboxing for your fellow beauty enthusiasts to swoon over in the comments.

Like I said, many true beauty influencers are micro influencers, doing their thing purely for the love, and not a pay check, but that’s in sharp contrast to those who are actually paid to do so. These paid influencers put in the work, styling their stories to appeal to their audience and also the audience of the brand that’s paying them.

One such influencer, someone I’ve been following a while as I enjoyed her fresh aesthetic, is also a PR. To be fair to her, I’d become so used to seeing her bounce across fields of tulips and daisies, that I wasn’t expecting anything from her when it came to ‘real life’. However, I did happen to see her Instagram Stories late one night, where she ‘appeared’ to be crying about BLM. I say appeared because honestly, I’ve seen better performances at my nephew’s nativity play. I even recorded the crying just to check I wasn’t being too dismissive.

The next day I saw that she’d finally posted an image she’d found elsewhere (i.e. not spent time creating) and given information on how to donate and research. It all seemed very rushed and frankly, I imagine that zero attention was given to the words. I wondered if she’d been pressured to post, and apparently she had been, after being tagged in a post that prompted people to call out influencers and brands who weren’t stepping up.

She dutifully posted a black square when it was ‘expected’ of her on #blackouttuesday — which she has since deleted.

On top of that, behind the scenes she was contacting various bloggers — I can’t confirm race ratios. She sent DMs that did not address the individual, did not ask the person how they were doing at this truly tiring and stressful time. Instead she asked if they were supporting black-owned brands (she asked this of a mixed-race woman who identified as black and had been posting tons of information on her Stories…) Clueless, lazy — or worse?

She mentions in the DM that one of her clients is a black-owned business and asks if the blogger might be interested in talking about it. The following day I kept wondering, ‘okay, if you’re so supportive, why not post about this black-owned brand on your own feed?’ Or, how about you offer your services to black-owned businesses at a reduced rate? Not because you should, but because, after all, you are performing as if you care.

**Dominique, a black, London-based PR shared her thoughts on how her frequent social media support of a beauty brand (self-created and not paid for, purely because she wanted to), soon started to feel as if she was being treated as a token when she was shown as the only black face in the company’s newsletter. She also tells me of a black influencer in the UK who had been promised payment for several pieces of promo work and yet had gone unpaid and ignored. It wasn’t until her loyal followers bombarded the brand’s social media platforms that the brand paid her, in full, with no argument, or apology.

“It’s so intrinsic, and so embedded,” says Dominique. “Whether it’s content creation or Instagram — which is the first port of call for every business — it’s also the tech, it’s the algorithms used. It’s the influencers, it’s the appropriation, it’s the fact that black influencers aren’t on PR lists, and aren’t being paid the same rates.”

Dominique also talks of the pressure of ‘black guilt’ that black influencers and creators can feel: “You kind of hope and root for the brands that you spend your money on, that you will see a change. And then also, you kind of assimilate in your feed to try and see if that’s gonna help you build a following. I’ve done it. Black people have learned to compartmentalise to survive and it comes down to assimilating and trying not to broadcast your blackness.”

The PR I think, in some ways, the power of the beauty industry PRs often goes unnoticed. These are people who are in the business of carving out a niche for a brand, making it the ‘next big thing’; they advise clients on everything, from tone of voice to the right faces to use in an ad campaign to which influencers to send product to, and which influencers to offer lucrative ambassadorships to.

As most UK PR firms are owned by white men and women, it’s easy to see why inclusivity might not even enter their heads. Why would it? Let’s not forget, for decades the ideal beauty has been that of a very Eurocentric look. PR firms, alongside the rest of the industry, play their part in affirming this beauty standard — it isn’t their job to actually change it. But with more and more voices calling for change, and in the era of cancel culture, PRs are likely to be forced into taking a more active role.

For example, the labeling of BLM being a political rather than human issue by the head of CrossFit was clearly a PR nightmare of huge proportions, and no-one in the multi-billion dollar beauty industry wants that to happen to them. As a recent article on the Business of Fashion stated; too often public relations execs go along with what their client wants, and if ever they do try to steer the client in another direction they are often left unsupported or removed from the account completely.

The Magazines As someone who’s been a hair and beauty editor and writer for 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of trends come and go. But one trend that remains the same is that of the ‘spot the black journo in the room’. While things may be slightly more progressive in the US, here in the UK I can say that I have never seen more than three black or non-white journalists at a press event at the same time. And don’t get me started on the staff within the publications themselves.

I remember when former British Vogue editor-in-chief Alexandra Shulman shared an image of her team in celebration of her last issue in 2017 — with not one black or brown face. I had long stopped my subscription to British Vogue, but when her replacement, Edward Enninful arrived, the man who had inspired me for years during his time at i-D magazine, I bought each issue with renewed excitement; oh how things would change!

But Enninful is one black man. And when Enninful himself is racially profiled while entering the doors of Conde Nast, you know that the problem goes way deeper. Add to that the fact that Vogue is still going to have to bow to its advertisers — the brands that keep it in print. It’s not us with our £2 ‘special price’ purchases that are keeping Vogue and others like it alive.

Elsewhere on Instagram, former Glamour editor Jo Elvin was bemoaning the fact that it wasn’t always the editor’s fault that there were no black models on the cover. Elvin said that black models often declined being on the cover (am guessing maybe it was because it was a pretty crap magazine back then?) because they ‘thought it would hurt their chances of getting covers with the high-end mags’.

And what is wrong with that? It’s far tougher for a black woman to get a Vogue cover, so if that’s that model’s goal, what’s it to Elvin and her crew? Perhaps they could seek out an unknown, rather than relying on the top three black faces over and over? Thankfully, Elvin was prompted to elaborate on her flippant comments, by none other than the aforementioned Caroline Hirons. Hirons ended by telling Elvin that the numbers don’t add up, and that bias is ‘systemic in Conde.’

I remember once going for a meeting with an online brand I avidly read. Naturally I was excited and flattered to be told: ‘you look so [insert brand name here]!’ as if I had just earned a special badge. Aside from the flattery, it really meant a lot to me and I was genuinely excited at the opportunity to write and shoot for them. I left the building buzzing, but over the coming weeks, my numerous pitches seemed to fall on deaf ears. ‘Hmm, she’s probably really, really, busy,’ I told myself.

Weeks later I noticed a new name on their writer roster and wondered if the fact that she was also mixed race was something to do with it; perhaps two was one too many? I think this is something we see and fear in many industries, but especially within fashion and beauty. While a non-black editor might enjoy being seen as the progressive one, he or she might also be nervous of ‘opening the gates’ and only employing non-white people! I’ve heard this from several black and brown people in the industry also. Once you get that role, you want to keep it both for career and financial reasons.

It’s clear that, across the board, work needs to be done, and we also need the work that is supposedly being done, to continue. It makes me nervous to see brands jumping on the Diversity Officer job role, while only offering six-month contracts. Does this mean that they hope BLM will just go away and people will just stop expecting their voices to be heard and their rights acknowledged? Are we all just so nostalgic over what normal used to be that we’d rather enter another year with blinders on?

It’s okay to admit that you’re completely unprepared for this fight. If you’ve never had to care about this fight, I get that. But whether you chose to use #blackouttuesday to gain some new fans, or you actually wanted to begin making lasting change, it’s clear, it’s going to take a lot more than a black square followed by vague epithets. Show the work; talk to your audience. Literally no-one can claim to be perfect right now, but if you want to build an anti-racist brand, take the steps, because we are all watching.

*Statistic taken from this NPR article: https://www.npr.org/2020/06/27/884213471/why-advertisers-wont-run-ads-on-black-lives-matter-content?t=1597134345822

** Name has been changed

Image: Photo by Hazel Olayres on Unsplash

This article also appears on Medium

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Gonna write my scatterbrained Spicy Hot Takes on Agartha before the news is stale and I delete this annoying and boring chapter from my mental landscape, so bear with me:

I think Agartha’s main issue was just straight up poor writing. The Japanese direct translations being as downright offensive as they were is one thing - but overall, the chapter is just one plot contrivance after another. It tries so, so hard to go for a certain tone but can’t seem to stick to any one thing or idea. Disregarding themes about sexuality probably would have been the very best way to go about this chapter, since I think the most interesting part was the theme about storytelling and in-authenticity - we all know that That Line was annoying af in a game like FGO, but it CAN work in a series like Fate as a whole. I had a helluva long day at work so allow me to explain in the least scatter-brained way I can manage right now:

Here’s what I’m thinking: Scheherazade, whose name I guarantee I will spell wrong/differently every time I write it even though I’ve been able to pronounce it properly since I was thirteen (I was in a speaking competition and told some of the Thousand and One Nights using her framework as the opening monologue, long story short ANYWAY -) is traumatized by her ordeal with the king. This is a really good and interesting thing to explore! Fitting it in with the theme of storytelling - Scheherazade is deeply afraid of dying and will do whatever it takes to live, so she makes a fantasy world and fills it with legends, and feeds their energy to a Holy Grail. With this, and the power of a Demon God at her side, she plans to reveal magic to the human world in the most destructive fashion possible, allowing the fantastic to become ordinary, and destroying the Throne of Heroes itself in the process. Fate is a series were stories have power - but Scheherazade survived basically by telling the most fantastical, interesting tales she could and never finishing them. She always would pause in the middle, and say, “That’s all for tonight.” I think this is the kind of thing we can run with in terms of setting.

Dahut is the weirdest example because it’s the one story in the chapter that I know next to nothing about. At one point it’s mentioned that Dahut is impossible to summon as a Servant, and so Drake was “forced” into the role of the Pirate Princess. Ys is probably the weakest part of the chapter for that, but I did like the idea of her being “Drake Alter,” where Drake vibrantly pursues her goals and desires but takes nothing for granted; Dahut gives into her every whim and takes absolutely everything for granted. The conflict between “Drake” and “Dahut” should have been emphasized more instead of having the player/Da Vinci dismiss her as “Oh, it’s not Drake, except when she conveniently comes back to delivery us the MacGuffins Ex Machina in the eleventh hour.” Dahut has little connection to Drake - it’s not her story, but a role she was forced into because Scheherazade was building a very specific kind of world. Therefore it is inauthentic. Perhaps that’s all it needs to be in this context. 

This can also work with the Amazons. Scheherazade never told stories of the Amazons, but she has access to basically all stories in the world through her Noble Phantasm - she learns that they are a society of warrior women who live without men, and so decides that they will be a society which oppresses men due to her fear/bitterness towards men after the ordeal she suffered through. The “oppressing men” plotline was honestly dumb all around but using the Amazons as a mechanism to explore Scheherazade's trauma would’ve been more interesting than just having them be the Big Bad before the Big Bad Columbus Reveal: Scheherazade doesn’t like fighting, but wishes that she had been strong enough to protect herself. Because she views herself as a coward and her ordeal with the king has complicated her view of sexuality - “I’m better suited to a bedchamber than a battlefield” - she uses the Amazons of Agartha as a mechanism to cope. 

This brings us to Wu, whose design I’m still not happy about even though I think the in-story justification is somewhat fair. (Let Helena and Wu be gray-haired grannies together or so help me!) Wu was absolutely an authoritarian ruler who did, in fact, invade and conquer several nations and institute a terrifying network of secret police. In her later life, she was given to decadence - but her tenure on the throne showed her to be a highly competent administrator. Notably, she ruled over an era of religious tension and balanced matters quite well, and though she was accused of undoing meritocracy to put her supporters into power, many of the men she appointed held positions in government long after she’d died because they were actually good at their jobs. Wu has been heavily mythologized over the years - later Tang emperors and Neo-Confucian scholars wrote her off (Wu founded her own dynasty under her own name, so they kind of had to legitimize it somehow), she became associated the nine-tailed fox spirit thanks to a few popular novels and poems, etc., etc., etc. The crazy thing is that Wu actually left very few records of herself behind, apart from some poems. Even the inscription on her tomb is blank! People can say whatever they want about her - it’s extremely difficult to know the full truth of the matter without any objective observers in the field (and without Wu’s own words to give context/another story), especially if you don’t read any Chinese. 

BTW - the first thing I learned history class is that when you’re dealing with primary sources, you must always remember that translators have agendas. Every word is a deliberate choice, and it changes the meaning from the original text. When dealing with historical documents, this is not always a good thing. 

Scheherazade reads some, but not all of these stories, and integrates Wu into her world as the sadist empress with an iron grip on her decadent mythical city. 

Do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s a lot, but I’m not done. Now we have to deal with Columbus - there’s “In Defense of Columbus” video is floating around in the Agartha tag, but I haven’t watched it in full and haven’t done like, any intensive research on Columbus in particular, so I’m going to apologize right now for any historical inaccuracies/misconceptions that I’m about to write. The point I want to make here mainly is that Columbus, like Wu, has been heavily, heavily mythologized for both good and evil at various points. The thing about Columbus that is also interesting is that the authenticity of his journals is or was apparently a subject of debate. The man who published most of them actually happened to be Bartolomew de las Casas - one of the founders/first vocal supporters of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. The reason de la Casas supported this is because he believed that using African labor would be an improvement over enslaving the native populations of the New World. Soon after, he had a change of heart and devoted the rest of his life to fighting against slavery in all forms. De la Casas went on to be named a saint, and was possibly the first person in history to propose the idea of universal human rights - which is how I had heard of him until literally just this afternoon; I had no idea he’d ever supported the slave trade until I was looking up basic info about Columbus’s writings so I could write this long-ass post. History is full of complicated people. 

But as I mentioned in Wu’s bit, it’s very important to note that in many ways, Columbus is literally just whatever people decide he is. Like, he never even set foot in any land that would become the United States, and yet he’s a huge symbol here! Along these lines, his amnesia would fit the theme of inauthentic storytelling, choosing what to read and what to believe in. Columbus regaining his memories was an understated moment, which is actually fucking fantastic because it could be used to really emphasize the choice that is being made here. He’s a Heroic Spirit who can choose to be whatever he wants. He can choose to be the simple hero-explorer that schoolchildren sing about, or he can choose to be the Big Bad, the first and perhaps most infamous conquistador. And he chooses to be the bad guy. That is so fuckin’ fantastic, y’all! I honest to God love that not only did FGO portray Columbus as a villain of history but that the bad reputation is something he chooses to maintain! I can write a list of Servants who were less than stellar people and got a makeover for Fate. Nero is probably one of the worst examples but like - Ozymandias absolutely owned slaves in his life as a pharaoh. Hercules and Medea murdered their own children. Asterios literally ate humans as the Minotaur. Gilles de Rais exists as a playable character. Jack the Ripper is your daughter. Hell, Nobunaga burned temples with the monks still inside - but she feels bad about it now! Enough digressing but I a hundred percent get why Japanese fans found Columbus “refreshing” at his introduction. He owns his cruelty, his desire to exploit others - he challenges the narrative that everyone is redeemable because he doesn’t even want to be redeemed, he just wants to get rich and famous, and he doesn’t give a shit who he steps over in the process! Like, Columbus said, “I’m just doing what comes naturally,” at one point when he still had amnesia, so when he got his memory back and turned on the player, I really would’ve liked for him to say is something like, “You’ve already decided that I’m the bad guy, right? You know my story, and I’m nothing if not a man of my word.”

These kinds of questions/debates could have been used to emphasize the themes of Agartha. Legends are what people decide they are. People make choices and history decides whether they were good or evil or important retroactively. Can you know what someone is like by reading a translation of their poetry? Can you judge a king’s reign by the words of their successors or their rivals? Does the context of a story matter? This all could have been super interesting to explore!

Like I said, the main theme of Agartha being “inauthentic storytelling” could have been hella, hella good considering that this is a world created by Scheherazade’s fears and trauma feeding into her escapist desires. But Minase’s incompetence as a writer made everything so hamfisted and awkward that everything just suffered under his desire to insert his fetishes at every moment. It was so obvious that he didn’t read any material for old Fate characters - like Astolfo you poor sweet thing, you deserved so much better! - and even the new characters that he clearly did research on, like Columbus, fell flat because he couldn’t figure out what he was trying to say beyond mildly-to-extra offensive sex jokes.