#failing and retaking is both good and bad just saying

[sheloveshp]

„All talk“- ron w.

warnings: little smut// virgin!ron// fluff at the end

confronting shy little ron „all talk“ weasly after he has been crushing and flirting on you for a while

masterlist

“Where did your confidence go Ron?” You whispered into his ear. You’ve had enough of him and his remarks about your body (or rather how, saying them is the most he does to you.)Today all of this shall end.

You were up for yet another Study Session in his dorm. Ron Weasley has gotten much more suggestive even in front of the others students. Gladly for the both of you it didn’t bother you. What bothered you was that he wasn’t shy to talk about how good your tits looked while he was playing quidditch and that, that was the reason for Gryffindor’s loss, while being seated next to all the other gryffindors . Yet whenever you came suggestively close to him, his whole body shut down and he suddenly remembered to “feed his old ass hamster” or rat or whatever it was and left.

“All those remarks when i visited you at training about how good my ass looked in those black shorts” Your fingers played around sliding them up and down his chest while you talk.

„All that undressing me with your eyes in class and at parties and now you won’t even look into my eyes ronnie?“ you stopped. Now looking directly into his eyes. His cheeks being as red as his hair and heart beating out of his chest.

Yeah sure he was in fact, in love with you and throwing these perverted things at your head was much better for him than being vulnerable to you and telling you how he actually feels. He was also scared of dating you. You were the (y/n) (l/n) after all. Gryffindors baddest bitch. Yes, even badder than Hermione. He was scared of what others might say when they find out that you’re dating him out of all people. He was scared of rejection and how he would carry on living his life when you broke his heart by rejecting him. So if being close to you means only being your friend and talking in a not so shy manner to SOMEHOW release his inner feelings for you. He will.

Ron tried his best to keep calm and stay cool. He didn’t want to seem like a weakling infront of you of all people, but then again. It’s you he is talking to and you who has him pushed onto the wall of his dorm room.

Fucking you would be a great thing too tho <3.

Trying to fabricate even one

string of words he completely failed and just gulped really loudly.

„I want you and I know you want me but I‘m getting tired ron.“

lies.

You loved the thrill you get when you think about him. thinking about what he would do to you once he would finally let go of whatever is holding him back and fuck you.

At first you hated to admit it but you thought about him every day. The way his hair shines when the sun hits it. The way he is always eating. The way he will be the last one on the Hogwarts Express to make sure everyone got in safely.

The way he would bend you over his desk at this very desk you’re standing next to in his room and fuck you straight is also a nice thought. <3

„Tired of you not doing shit about it.”

“talk. talk. talk.” slightly hit his chest with your pointed finger.

oh how you would’ve loved to leave a kiss on every part of his body and rip his clothes of his body right now but sadly your pride didn’t let you. The pride that is hanging onto a string threatening to rip every time you look up into his eyes and see him looking at you so shy.

„Tell me you want me Ronnie“ you whisper into his ears cupping his cheek with your left hand while the other remained rubbing circles on his chest. „I want you“ he finally breathed out. He knew that he wanted you. so. so bad. It’s the way he twitched whenever he saw you talking to anyone that he doesn’t trust. It’s the way all of his synapses came to a stop last Friday when, you opened your dorm room to study with him, only for him to find you in your short biker shorts and a white shirt with no bra on. Obviously, he had to retake the exam.

„You’re all talk.“ you looked at him now

His patience finally ripped and he kissed you so passionately as if he was waiting a lifetime for it.

When the kiss came to a halt he didn’t want to yet and followed your lips with his. You both looked at eachother. breathing HEAVILY. “That was-“ you cut him off before you jump into his strong arms and kiss him again and again.

Trying to locate his bed he bumped into serveal things he finally found it and threw you onto it.

“Now we’re talking.” You whisper against his lips trying to cool the situation a bit. It will be his first time after all.

Ron kept kissing and kissing and kissing you just to make sure it wasn’t one of his wet dreams again.

Stoping for a moment you grab your wand of the bedside stand and put a spell on this room to muffle the room and lock it.

“Muffelatto e chiudare.” Ron noticed these spells and immediately knew now that you were here on business. Now back to making out, your hips moved a lot on his crotch area forcing him to buckle his hips to get some sort of action going on down there.

You would’ve loved to ride him straight but you also wanted this to last longer so you decided to take the lead. With longer you mean several weeks of teasing him like he did to you and only giving him little after little taste of you.

Turning around to straddle him now you left a few hot kisses on his jaw and neck before you went lower. way lower.

Unbuckling his belt Ron looked down on you seeing you with his sex in your hands he internally freaked out.

“Relax, Baby.” You coo, noticing his nervousness. You start pumping slowly after you noticed him calm down a little because what will come after this might send him into cardiac arrest. Dropping the word “baby” on him hit him like a truck, even more than you pumping your hand up and down his already hardened cock.

It was his first time and yet again…he was shy but you wanted to hear him moan your name and whimper so bad.

“You can make noises, baby. No one will hear you but me.” And with that he let loose. Whimpering, Moans, all of it rushed out his mouth immediate like he has been holding it back for years.

“Y/n” he said as he covered his eyes with his hands to keep himself from coming to fast. Otherwise he would make a complete fool of himself. You though… You knew exactly what would get him rilled up.

Finally, you take him inside your mouth. Ron removes his hand at the speed of light to see you and shrieked. That was it. You had him and this moment shall forever be engraved in his mind, for as long as he lives.

His cum tasted like cola cherry for some reason. You didn’t like cola whatsoever but this was nice so you took his whole load into your throat and swallowed.

Ron immediately fell back after he has been keeping himself up to watch this all unfold. He was shook to his core.

“You can eat that????” Ron being Ron, that was the first thing he asked you after having his blowie v-card being taken.

“Yes, Ron.” You wait in anticipation for anything else for him to say. As you lay down next to him.

“You are so amazing y/n.” He finally breathes out while searching for what to say in your eyes. “You weren’t so bad yourself, Darling.” There it goes again. Making him all dizzy with you loving words. Although it wasn’t much he was already gone.

“Wait! What about you? What should I do for you?” Honestly he felt kind of bad that you didn’t get what you wanted. Also he didn’t get to feel that bad cuz he was still on his orgasm high.

“Next time, Ronnie.” You say kissing his cheek and the other side. Finally, you had what was yours and what you desired the most. You are never going to let him go.

It has been a tough week at Hogwarts so both of you became really tired, really fast and dozed off.

For once in his life Ron was the first to wake up. Realizing that this scene isn’t a dream and you were still on him, sleeping like an angel, Ron chuckled to himself.

If he wasn’t still in another universe mentally trying to process what happened last night, he would be worried. Worried about wether this all is a friends with benefits kind of thing or something serious?? But the way you were holding him and laying on him chest on chest, heart on heart. He knew that this might be serious and he couldn’t wait for the day where this would become his day to day life. Waking up to the love of his life.

[mixelation]

on sakura in reborn au

i was considering team 7 dynamics and going into it, minato & kakashi both assume the issues will be a sasuke-naruto thing. they annoy each other, and naruto considers sasuke a romantic rival and will actively pick fights with him, and sasuke is ready and willing to escalate those fights. minato & kakashi knows naruto likes sakura and sakura likes sasuke (because naruto won't shut up about it), but i don't think they've considered sakura's role in the dynamic beyond "idk, maybe she'll act weird around him"

i think a lot of sakura's canon annoyances with naruto were organic (as in, she just found him annoying, regardless of any social cues about how he was Bad News she was additionally picking up). aside from that one awful comment she made to sasuke, the only times we see sakura being "mean" to naruto are after he's been obnoxious to/around her. she tells him off for trying to prank kakashi because she's a teacher's pet, but she ALSO privately thinks this is funny. we also see multiple instances in part 1 of her actively trying to protect him. in the manga, she tackles naruto out of the way to save him from zabuza. she is ready and willing to tank her own promotion to chunin and sasuke's in order to protect naruto's dream of being hokage (she's told they can't retake the chunin exams if they fail the written test, but they CAN retake if they drop out, and even though she's confident she will pass, she starts to raise her hand to drop out so NARUTO will get a second shot). she gets beat up in the forest of death trying to protect naruto (and sasuke) and then afterwards attempts to protect naruto emotionally by telling him she cut her hair because she "felt like a change" and not explaining what happened (i don't think not telling him is a good call, but i do think she did it because she wanted to protect him). i think her awful comment about naruto not having parents was maybe something she felt was socially normal/acceptable to say because everyone did hate naruto, which was why she thoughtlessly blabbed it to sasuke. she'd maybe even heard other people saying similar things and thought this was just how she's supposed to think about him. but i don't think she ever truly hated him; she just found him kind of annoying

the point of all this is that i don't think sakura dislikes naruto the way some people write her to. but she doesn't like him hitting on her, and she doesn't like when he does crude stuff around her.

so, given that, now imagine a situation where there's not random society-wide shunning of naruto. he's still loud and obnoxious, so i think sakura would find him grating even if she secretly thinks some of his pranks are funny. she doesn't even consider returning his crush. that is not on the table for her. she still likes sasuke. she still breaks up with ino because i maintain that that was an act of sakura trying to make herself an independent agent from ino and not ino's sidekick. but. but. she has fewer overall problems with naruto. naruto is the class clown but he's not a pariah; he's the hokage's kid and he has social clout

so maybe. consider this. sakura does not return naruto's crush, but his attention is now sort of fun and exciting. she's twelve, after all-- this is new to her, and she's feeling out what she likes and she's not necessarily mature or emotionally aware enough to not be a huge brat. it's fun when naruto brings her flowers and she gets to turn him down in front of other people. it's fun that everyone knows the hokage's son is in love with her, and that she doesn't have to love him back to keep this attention on her.

it is extremely fun when naruto sees her sighing over sasuke and then goes to fight him and then sasuke escalates.

kakashi gets his team and is told there might be some typical twelve year old crush drama, but sakura's personality is predicted to balance out naruto and sasuke's tendency towards fist fights.

and then kakashi watches her intentionally goad them into a fight and then fucking preen and he's like. oh. oh no.

[gaysindistress]

Sad girl - seven

summary: James has an interesting new business proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings: cursing, guns, violence (it is a mob au after all), Bucky’s smartass, John Walker being a dick, arguing, sexual tension, being held at gunpoint

word count: 3.2k

part 6 | series masterlist

taglist:  @missvelvetsstuff @angelsincident @spencerreidisagorgman @  goldensunflowe-r   @i-have-no-life-charlie @esposadomd @reader-without-a-story @unaxv @iateall-yourcookies  littlelizardlizzie @alana4610 0 @kandis-mom

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

She shouldn’t have trusted Steve to not say anything to James. He’s his right-hand man, from what she can tell, so, of course, he’s going to rat her out. His frustration is evident in the way he keeps flexing his hand, curling it into a fist and relaxing it. They’ve been sitting in his office for about 10 minutes now and neither of them has spoken, waiting for the other to speak up. She's assuming that Steve had texted him when they were driving back to James’ house. She should’ve just thrown her phone out of the window to avoid all of this. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Why would I need to? He’s relatively harmless.” 

“No one we know is harmless, Doll. You should know that and especially considering how he’s involved with your family.” 

She stands up from the couch and places both hands on his desk, leaning over to try and intimidate him. 

“Pepper so kindly told me what happened. Not that I care but why didn’t you tell me?” 

His eyes briefly flicker to the “B” necklace that’s hidden under her blouse collar before meeting her stare. 

“I assumed you either already knew or didn’t want to know. I’m sorry for not talking to you about it earlier.” 

“Oh wow, the big bad James Barnes is apologizing to me. Let me get my phone so I can video this and get proof that you’re not always right.” 

James grins at her remark, standing and leaning forward as well, “I never claimed to always be right but you’re right I am apologizing. Is there anything else you’d like to know?” 

She tries her hardest to not shrink under his blue eyes but the intensity forces her to break away and retake her place in the chair behind her. 

“Yeah, everything.” 

His eyes glint satisfaction as she backs down to him so easily. 

“Your father was getting his vibranium from the Wakandans but Namor came to him, offering to cut the costs in exchange for protection as they expand into New York,” he starts to explain, sitting back into his own chair, “Walker has been trying to insert himself as a middle man for a while with your father, hence why he tried to start a relationship with you. He thought if he could get in good with daddy’s little girl, Stark would start using him but he didn’t expect you to be so you. His plan failed with you but Pepper convinced Anthony to use him anyways and that’s how he started communications between Namor and Stark Industries. The only problem is that going to the competition was going to piss off the Wakandans and they weren’t supposed to find out until after it was all done. Someone leaked the switch to them and Stark came running to Steve and me. In exchange for Steve’s men, Stark added him to the Talokan deal so Steve could have things made for his men. We were in negotiations about what else he was going to give me but Pepper suggested that a permanent alliance would serve us both better. I wasn’t expecting her to arrange a marriage but there wasn’t enough time to try and figure something else out so I agreed. I figured that I would be able to find something else and that’s what the meeting you interrupted was about. Anthony wouldn’t budge so here we are.”

“Wow so you got fucked over and I got used,” it’s her turn to laugh. 

“I wasn’t fucked over but you definitely were used by that dick head. I would say I came out on top with my end of the deal. I’ve heard stories about you and seen glimpses of that famous Stark attitude so I was ready for the challenge.”

“Ouch. Girls typically don’t like being called challenges,” she feigns hurt, placing a hand over her heart. 

“Would you rather I call you an inconvenience?”

“Jesus no. You really know how to make a girl feel special,” crossing her left leg over her right, she shifts in her seat. 

“I aim for completely fucked out but I’ll take special,” he casually adds, eyes raking over her legs as he pulls out his phone. By now any annoyance had left his body and he tells himself that’s not all because she is close by. Admitting that she is the reason for calming down means one thing and she’s made it very clear that she does not want that.

“I have to go to Washington D.C on business later this week. It should only take a few days so I should be back by Saturday. The wedding planner Nat found wants to meet Monday at 12 to go over the basics.” 

She can’t stop shifting in her seat, thighs rubbing together every time she moves to find a semi-comfortable spot. At this point, she’s barely listening to what he has to say since he so causally mentioned a girl being fucked out is his primary goal in life. Internally her brain is telling her to sit still and get out as fast as she can but other thoughts are flooding her mind from between her legs. 

“Are you alright?” pretend concern laces his voice at her fidgety state.

“What? Oh yeah I’m fine,” she fails to lie and it’s clear he knows she’s lying by the way his lips turn up in that stupid smirk. 

“You sure? Something seems like it’s bothering you,” he pushes, hoping she’ll crack a little more. 

“It’s nothing,” she snaps, “why are you going to Washington?” “So full of ‘why’s today. Might have to teach you how to sit and listen without any questions.”

“I wouldn’t be such a challenge then, would I? You’d lose interest if I didn’t push your buttons.” 

The smirk breaks out in full force, “Maybe I want a good little housewife who obeys and doesn’t question me. I could get used to seeing you, so stubborn and spiteful, kneeling before me with wide eyes.”

His brave words spur something inside of her. If he wants to mess with her, two can play this game and right now she feels like inflicting a bit of her own torture on him. 

“We both know you don’t want that. If you did, we wouldn’t be here and you’d be off fucking some socialite girl who spends all of daddy’s money. You like the challenge. You want someone to put you in your place,” the sight of him licking his lips only pushes her to keep going on. 

“You’re a powerful man, you’re more than capable of getting what you want so there’s no way you just let this all happen. You want me and it’s getting to you that I won’t let you have me. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to always get your way and now you’re being denied.”

The tension has shifted in the air and if anyone were to step foot into the room, they’d be wise to immediately exit. Both of them are trying to gain dominance and prove that they make the other break. James has reclined back into his chair, legs spread because what else says “I am the boss here” than manspreading? Doll has kept her legs crossed and her hands on her knee to show she isn’t bothered by any of this but really it’s because there’s a deep ache that is starting to crack her façade. 

“Has it occurred to you that I’m letting you act this way? You said it yourself, I get what I want. If I wanted, I would’ve had you that first night.”

“Radial idea: you’re not in control here. I am. I set the pace. I make the rules. I decide what happens. If I want you to beg for me, I’ll have you on your knees with tears in your eyes, begging for me to finally do something. If anything is going to happen, it’ll be on my terms, Bucky. You might be the man and the big boss that everyone fears but I’m the one who calls the shots,” her voice barely wavers no matter how fast her heart is beating against her chest. She’s thanking the gods that she’s not standing because she would’ve fallen right into his lap. 

“Prove it,” the challenge causes another wave of downright filthy thoughts to flood her brain and flush her body. 

“Answer my question first; why are you going to Washington?” “Do you know what I do for work?” his hand comes up to rub his jaw, fingers scraping over the stubble that has grown over the last few weeks. 

He doesn’t wait for her answer, “When people can’t get their hands dirty, they call Steve. Sometimes it’s extracting information or an asset, other times it’s not as nice and that’s where I come in. Since I handle the more sensitive side of things, it attracts some high-profile clients and that often means a business trip to Washington D.C.”

“So you’re a mercenary.”

“Freelance contractor is my official job title.”

“Good to know you’re in bed with the government. At least let me know when you decide to fuck a senator so I can sleep somewhere else.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise but quickly fade back into his smirk, “Already thinking about us sharing a bed?”

“No, I figured you slept in a coffin at night because you’re a soul-sucking vampire who’s only after money.”

His deep laughter fills the room and warms her cheeks among other body parts, “I’d bring in a bed to properly fuck you.”

“Look at who’s already thinking about us sleeping together and bold of you to assume you’d be doing the fucking,” rivaling his crass words is the only option at this point to maintain her dominance. 

“Oh please tell me how you plan on doing that.”

“You’ll have to wait for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have paperwork to file since you so rudely demanded I meet you in your office when I first got here,” uncrossing her legs and standing up, she’s praying to god her legs will keep her upright and that the horny bastard between her legs will chill out. 

“Can’t wait, Doll.”

_______________________________________________

“Motherfucker,” whispering to herself as her body refuses to relax after her meeting with James. Two hours later and she’s still staring at the same patient intake form. At this point, she won’t be able to get any work done and her mind can only come up with one way to release that thought. 

“No, no, no, no, nope. Not gonna happen,” she mutters before slamming her computer short and sitting back against her desk chair. 

She looks around the room for a second idea and her eyes land on the book she hasn’t touched since she moved in. Chloe Gong’s ‘These Violent Delights’, a book she had been excited to read, seems a little too on the nose with her current situation. Anthony always teased her about her book choices, claiming that she read too many ‘kid’ stories when she should be reading the classics and educational books. Her mom, on the other hand, had encouraged her to keep reading whatever she wanted and would happily buy whatever she wanted. That was the one thing she missed the most about her mom; the unconditional love and support. Her childhood hadn’t been the easiest, her mom repeatedly getting sober and then relapsing. She couldn’t blame the woman though considering the man Anthony was even if he wasn’t there for the first couple of years. 

Her mom rarely talked about what happened between her and Anthony but it was implied that she got knocked after a one-night stand, tried to run, bad people found her, and her dad didn’t exactly spring into action to help aside from suggesting a terrible name. Her mom had done what she could to make sure Doll was not involved in Anthony’s world at all. She didn’t even know that her dad was Anthony Stark until she was 10 and her mom dragged her to his Manhattan Apartment, begging him to take her. Pepper was the one to answer the door and agree, forming the initial impression that she was going to be an ally to Doll. She had been until she turned 15 and Anthony started paying more attention to her because of her excellent grades. 

“The prodigal daughter has returned,” is what he had told her after vowing to always protect her. Laughable now considering how he gave her up so easily and didn��t bother to return her texts in a timely fashion. 

Speaking of the devil, her phone alerts her to a new text that reads, 

“Walker claims he hasn’t talked to you since the fundraiser. Must be someone else. Have James look into it.” 

Completely destroying her phone is starting to seem like a good idea. Alas, she cannot because she’d have to set up a new phone and the whole process is just not one that she wants to deal with. Her mind is still preoccupied with the life or death decision of to booty call James and suffer his endless teasing or take one cold ass shower and hoping the cold restarts her system. 

The sound of men talking and the car door closing decides for her; cold shower it is. 

_______________________________________________

James had left about two days ago with a wink and an overdramatic ‘Goodbye Doll. Behave’ while Natasha rolled her eyes as they drove away. In their absence, Steve became her surrogate fiancé, either following her or sending other men out with her. On the days when Steve didn’t tail her like a stalker, she felt relief not suffocated but also upset from not having a certain soul-sucking vampire close by even through his friend. 

Today a large blonde with long hair and his lanky black-haired counterpart, Thor and Loki if she remembered correctly, was assigned to her. Neither man has said anything to her or even looked at her so it was more like two shadows hiding in the lobby of her office. They had tried to do a security sweep but she stopped them to remind them that it was the Stark Tower after all and there were men stationed everywhere. 

Leaving the two, she gets her keys out to open her office and instantly feels another presence in the room with her. A part of her is saying to scream out for Thor and Loki but the other part knows who has broken in. As she closes the door, her suspicions are confirmed when she spots John Walker sitting on her therapy couch, lounging like he owns the place. 

“What do you want?” she hisses. 

“For you to answer my messages.”

“Get out,” her fingers itch to grab the gun she normally keeps tucked close to her ribs but she solemnly remembers she decided against it this morning. 

“After you explain something to me,” metal flashes and he’s whipped out his own gun. 

“Sit”, he orders, pointing with the gun to the chair she usually sits at during appointments. 

“Don’t even think about grabbing yours, sweetheart. I’m much faster than you. Now explain to me why you haven’t been answering your phone.”

Silence will only get her so far in this situation but she decides to try her luck anyway. 

“Silent treatment, how mature?” his patience is starting to grow thin.

“I don’t think it was very nice of you to block me either. I had to get a new number and that was really inconvenient for me.”

She only nods her head, mouth in a straight line and jaw clenched. 

“And you know how I don’t like to be inconvenienced.” 

Again she nods. 

“Did your little boyfriend have anything to do with it?” No response. 

Suddenly he is up and over the top of her, forcing her back in the chair, “I was surprised when I heard you were engaged to him. He’s got quite a few years on you, not sure if he can keep up you. Or do you fake it and pretend to enjoy so you don’t hurt his feelings? I’m sure he would love to hear how much of a dirty slut you really are.”

“Oh please. You should be more concerned about the fact I faked it with you to get the fuck out. Your precious little ego can’t handle rejection and now you’re doing everything you can to fix it,” she can’t help but laugh at his failed attempt to scare her. 

“Would you like to try that again?” she can feel the cold metal against her neck. 

“Do you want me to spell it out for you? You’re terrible in bed so, I faked my orgasms so you’d get off and I could leave to find someone who would actually do the job. You are the epitome of toxic masculinity. Drop it and leave me alone. This is the last time I’m going to tell you.”

“Or what?” he shoves the gun into her neck harder, finger tensing on the trigger. She can barely see the revolver cylinder and nearly laughs at the game he wants to play.  

“I haven’t decided yet but I’m sure my fiancé would have some ideas once he sees the barrel marks on my neck,” he pulls the trigger and her eyes squeeze at the sound of it clicking to the next chamber. 

“Say stupid shit again and I can’t promise that the next chamber will be empty.”

Never one to follow instructions, she spits in his face. He flinches, dragging a hand over his face with a menacing look in his eye. He squeezes the trigger again and it clicks again. 

“You’ve only have 4 more tries, think about your next move carefully.”

“Your dick is small.”

“3 more. Do you really want to keep going?”

Shrugging her shoulders the best she can, “I don’t think you have it in you to shoot me.”

This time he pulls the trigger twice, both times clicking to show that her sixth chance will have been her final one. 

“Start answering my messages and I won’t have to come and visit you at work, sweetheart,” he stands and leaves the office without another word. The alarmed voices of the men outside invade her office and in seconds Thor and Loki come barging in. Thor is the one to check her over for any injuries while Loki speaks in a hushed voice on the phone, more than likely calling Steve. 

Loki motions to Thor to join him on the other side of the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts and an aching neck. The shock starts to sit in and her body betrays her, going cold and trembling. She can’t hear whatever the men are saying but she can only assume that Steve will be there in moments and will no doubt be furious. 

What feels like seconds later, Steve is storming through the door, barking orders, and crouching down to her eye level. 

“Hey, we’ve got to get you out of here and somewhere safe. Let’s go,” he grabs her hand, pulling her out of the chair to usher her out of the office. She allows him to tuck her into his side, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders as he leads her through the building. The entirety of Stark Tower has gone into full alert mode, all personnel are on the hunt for John. They pass by everyone without a word and exit the building of chaos behind them. In the haze of shock, she barely registers that Steve has gotten her inside the SUV or that he’s been on the phone, trying to calm down whoever is on the other line. 

The last thing she remembers is the surprised look on Steve’s face as she slumps forward and faints.

[fizzigigsimmer]

Maybe it’s the flue brain but I can’t stop thinking of Harringrove as military brats growing up on base in the 80s. And in kind of a role reversal Billy is the golden boy. In the sense that he’s got the best scores and the best grades and everyone expects he’s going to go on to have an awesome career in the military. He’s popular and good at sports too so he’s got it made. But all of that is surface shit because Neil is Neil and his methods of pushing Billy to perfection are abusive AF. But Billy can’t talk to anyone about it because he knows it will just get burried and turned around on him. “Your dad only wants what’s best for you.” “Discipline is good for you, even if it doesn’t always feel good when it’s happening” toxic bullshit like that.

Steve on the other hand is the bad boy. The one who people whisper about and dads warn their daughters away from. The spoiled rebellious child of some big brass who lives to show his contempt for the system. Barely shows up to class, fails tests and drills on a whim, sneaks off base and finds all the leather bars with the cheapest booze and the fastest guys and gals, and does everything he possibly can to make sure the whole base knows that they’re all bullshit.

Billy hates Steve at first because he resents that he doesn’t try harder when Billy knows he’s got it in him, but deep down what he really really resents is how free Steve is to do it. He can be a useless sack of shit and still there will never be a hand laid on him. But then Billy is assigned to tutor Steve because he failed a subject and his dad pulled strings for him to retake the final exam at the end of summer. They get to know each other and he realizes that not all abuse is physical and they’re both being drowned under the weight of other peoples expectations. Steve is so many firsts for Billy. The first to see his bruises for what they are. The first to believe him. The first to grant him permission to be whatever he wants to be and Billy starts experimenting with his look and the interests he was always drawn to but were off limits for an all-american boy. There’s lots of sneaking around, to each others houses and to parties and clubs off base, and a shit ton of sexual tension that Billy absolutely refuses to acknowledge because he’s straight as spaghetti.

The first kiss is almost accidental. They’ve snuck off somewhere, but not to a rager. Maybe they’re just under the bleachers at school sharing the same patch of grass and a cigarette. They play these little games with each other sometimes, stupid challenges that are an echo of their past rivalry with no real prize but the satisfaction. Who can take the biggest drag and hold it in for the longest time. Of course they fight dirty. Billy says shit to try and get Steve to laugh during his turn, and when it’s Billy’s Steve’s a real asshole about it. Leans over him until his nose is pressed against Billy’s and crosses his eyes. They burst out laughing at the same time, and their lips bump together. Billy startles and they both freeze, but Steve doesn’t pull away. They’re still close enough to share breath, and Billy can hear how shallow Steve’s breathing suddenly is and the way his eyes fall back down to Billy’s lips. Steve moves slowly enough that he could stop him when he goes back in, but he doesn’t. He closes his eyes because it’s almost too much to feel it happening, let alone see it. And then Steve’s kissing him, for real this time. It’s incredible. And a little too intense as his childhood ideologies clash with this new thing that feels so right and so wrong at the same time; but he’s no coward. He grabs it with both fists, hands bunched in Steve’s shirt, and holds on tight.

[rose-lord-of-simps]

Can you do a request, about the 3rd years, fluff. I accidentally post the first one, I didn't want smut. (Sorry)

You don’t need to apologize for being specific dear! I wanted to get this out before the end of the year.

Some third year fluff coming right up!

Features Trey, Cater, Leona, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, and Lilia

Cater

Organizes a big welcome party for the incoming first years

Makes it his unstoppable mission to liven up a party when he feels it isn’t going well

PLEASE GO TO KARAOKE WITH HIM!!!! YOU WILL HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

Has a bunch of skateboards and has given a few away to beginners looking for a sturdy board

No matter where he is, he loves to dance with his partner

Is the best matchmaker of both romantic partners and friends

Keeps a few snacks in his bag to share with MC

Loves doing social media trends with MC, thinks they’re more fun when you do them with him

Gives amazing advice on how to deal with family issues and still have strong relationships with them

Cater defender against negative self talk 🪞

Trey

Has a list of students from every house that are willing to tutor other students for free and in what subjects, he has a whole network of tutors to connect them to students who need extra help

Amazing with kids, always gets them to sleep after brushing their teeth

In alchemy he made a better wake up tool than coffee and gives it to students on the day of final who look like they really need it

Surprisingly gives the best love advice ever?

Knows the best places on campus to study quietly or go to be alone for a while and isn’t afraid to share that information

Always politely tells someone when their alchemy project clearly went wrong and helps fix it so they can get a good grade

If he knows someone studied and worked hard and still got a bad grade he talks to the teacher about them retaking the test or redoing the assignment or extra credit

Human lie detector, if you think you’ve fooled him, no you haven’t, he is just being strategic in not letting you know he knows you’re up to something

Has the best study playlists

Trey defender (and criminal against) of short people 📏

Leona

Makes sure that Savanaclaw has the comfiest beds.

Has one of the scariest exteriors but gives the BEST hugs out of everyone

Complains about children but would protect any child in the room with his life

A very good listener

Remembers almost everything his friends say because he is actually paying attention

Is secretly a hopeless romantic, he is honest about what movies he doesn’t like but it’s because his standards for a good romance movie is so high

When MC is super stressed or sad he takes them on a broom ride after hours to look at stars

Secretly has a stuffed bunny he never sleeps without

If you’re having trouble sleeping he takes it upon himself to make sure you get some good sleep that night

Leona defender against paralysis demons ����

Vil

On the rare occasion he finds someone worthy of taking him on a date, he makes sure to show effort, not look like he just rolled out of bed and was playing hard to get, his standards are high but he wants them to know he is trying to be open to the option of dating them.

One time he found a first year crying outside a school party and he was kinda rude about it but he dragged them to the bathroom, fixed them up with some make up and let them vent about what happened to him. He got them some water for hydration and brought them to his and Rook’s table so they won’t be alone the rest of the night

He hosts daily morning yoga classes for the house, not everyone there does yoga with him because they have different stretching routines but every morning, without fail he hosts a place for people to quietly prepare themselves for the day and get their body energized in a healthy way

Barely any junk food is allowed in the Pomefiore dorm house, usually it is in people’s personal stashes, but Vil always keeps some kind of comfort snack on him for when killer eye liner alone isn’t enough to fix an emotional situation

Has advocated for a storage room full of extra uniform pieces in various sizes so that if one of the students have some kind of emergency for a new uniform it is there

He also advocated for this so hard so that students who could only afford to buy one uniform now have access to more, the storage closet mainly being hand me down uniforms from alumni and other students

He was inspired to do this once he met Ruggie and noticed how many times he had the same uniform on.

He always puts a little extra effort into researching the original mythology or the stories movies are based upon, especially when it is something he knows one of his friends (it is really just Rook, Epel, and MC) like so that he can tell them about the history and talk to them

He has high standards for himself and will always strive to be the best but he also views any romantic interest he has as on of the best people on the planet

Vil defender against sexism 💍

Rook

Would be an amazing older sibling.

Absolute shit younger sibling, would not use younger sibling privileges to his advantage and just do everything himself-

But would be the best big brother who gets you whatever you need when you’re sick and not only teaches you how to do basic things for human living, like laundry and cooking, but also if his little sibling wanted to try a new hobby but was scared because they’d have to go to a class for it or they’d need a work station at home for it, he’d build the work station himself and do it with them no questions asked to make his sibling feel better

Loves to talk to the new first years and kind of scare them but also reassure them that Vil isn’t as scary as they think

If someone close to him gets into a physical altercation he is the first person to step in and either break it up or defend them

Afterwards he is also the first person to show them how to properly defend themself if they don’t know how previously

Hates PDA brut behind closed doors he is the most affectionate person you’ve ever met

He may not like physical PDA but he is not afraid to announce to others that he adores his partner

Paints everyone he is close to

Rook defender against bullies 🥊

Idia

Somewhere, buried deep underneath all his fandom plushies- he has a stuffed Elephant from hehe he was really little

This one is curtesy of @strawberrybaat ✨BEST FRIEND✨ - when he gets a crush on someone he doodles them in notebooks or random scraps of paper when he has to physically be in class or boring lobbies and such, he also doodles Azul sometimes because they’re friends

To double up on this he also doodles them when his anxiety is getting bad to remind himself there is someone out there who he does like

Is secretly the best gift giver. Doesn’t know exactly what everyone wants but knows how to get anything they need and how to tell what would be an amazing gift or something shitty they probably already have

He has a list of games that are good for date nights, the moment he gets in a relationship, he is ready to go with the list of co op games they can play together

When someone is sad around him he doesn’t know what to do usually but will slap headphones on them and play a distracting playlist to help them

Runs a blog dedicated to queer representation in games

Insanely respectful of boundaries and is not afraid to fight to protect other people’s boundaries in online spaces

Always lets Ortho put his hair into cut braids and buns

Idia defender of trans identities 🏳️‍⚧️

Malleus

Takes care of his tomagatchi religiously, even asks Silver or Sebek to take care of it when he has to step away

Secretly knows the name of everyone in his dorm house and keeps an eye on them for any suspicious behavior (this is a cover up for in case people ask, really he tries to make sure everyone is doing okay and if he sees someone slipping from their normal routine he tells their friends)

Loves butterflies. Plus, butterflies love him. Can’t explain it, they just do.

Has a tier list of what he thinks are the best and worst ice creams, every time he tries something new it gets added to the list. This list is incredibly long.

When Silver became old enough to try ice cream he spent AT LEAST an hour picking out the perfect flavor for him to try, basing it off what baby silver liked and disliked.

Composes the sweetest love songs when he falls in love.

Has composed a theme song for everyone he is close to, Lilia’s is surprisingly brash but gets progressively lighter, Silver’s is the lightest toned thing ever and on piano because Malleus can never get over baby Silver, and Sebek’s is full of long notes and different combinations of keys.

When Silver was little he always let him play with his hair

The most supportive person ever, is always the first person to help you research how to learn a new skill

Malleus defender against your own inner demons 🥰

Lilia

He has a collection of baby clothes from when Silver was itty bitty baby

Proudest dad you have ever seen right here

If there is a fridge in the Diasomnia house, Lilia puts every student’s 100% on it. Quiz, test, project, final, it does not matter as long as a student gets 100% on something it goes on the fridge.

Has gold star stickers on him always because when Malleus or Silver get sad he slaps a gold star sticker on their faces and reminds them how cool they are with a fake award he makes up on the spot, Silver is the reigning champion of the “cutest cheeks award”

The one piece of technology Lilia always has to have the best of is cameras because he SCRAPBOOKS. And these things are MASSIVE!!!!!! He has so many scrapbooks of baby Silver alone, don’t even get him started on the ones of Malleus growing up.

Has saved every piece of art and trinket Malleus or Silver has made for him.

He keeps a little beaded bracelet Silver made when he was really little on him at all times.

Loves taking random classes for various activities, skills, and cooking (yes he has been black listed from multiple establishments)

Loves to give surprise street performances with random people he meets

Used to sing to Silver to help him sleep

Lilia defender of queer identities 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[kilosch]

Journal Entry: 10/25/24

Morning Routine – Waking Up to Snoring: I woke up at 5:30 a.m., but it wasn’t my alarm that got me up—it was my parent’s snoring! Honestly, I was shocked I even heard it, considering I wear hearing aids and usually have trouble catching sounds like that. I rolled out of bed, brewed coffee, and enjoyed some snacks my parents brought from the Philippines for breakfast.

The Drive – Chill but No Music: The 35-minute drive to Huntington Beach felt more relaxed today, except my car speakers are still broken, so no music to vibe with on the way. I missed my usual soundtrack of Zach Bryan, but the anticipation of the final day at the academy kept me awake.

The Final Day – Class Review & Test Nerves Kick In:

As I walked into the academy building, I immediately saw Instructor Mike (the ex-Santa Ana cop from Day 2). He greeted me with a smile and said, “Grab a donut.” I didn’t hesitate—it felt like I needed that sugar rush today.

The day officially started at 7:00 a.m., and Mike told us, “Alright, guys. It’s your last day—hopefully. It’s test day!” We spent the morning reviewing everything we’d learned earlier in the week, from LD 5 (Intro to Criminal Law) to LD 20 (Use of Force). Mike went deep into the legal justifications for using force and gave us some final tips.

After that, Instructor Sean (the ex-DEA agent) took over and walked us through LD 15, LD 16, and LD 39 one more time. He summarized everything well and answered our last-minute questions, which helped calm some of my nerves. Sean kept reminding us that the test would be scenario-based and to trust our instincts.

Prepping for the Final Exam:

By 1:30 p.m., it was go time. We were given two hours to complete the exam, with a hard stop at 3:30 p.m. As I sat there, staring at the questions, I felt overwhelmed by the legal jargon—it was packed with legalese and scenarios. I kept doubting myself, re-reading the questions over and over. I reviewed my entire exam three times, which probably wasn’t a great idea, but I couldn’t help myself.

After finishing, I walked out feeling defeated. My partner asked how it went, and I just shrugged, saying, “Nah... I think I failed.” I started mentally preparing to retake the course next week, assuming the worst.

The Big Surprise – I Passed!

As we waited for the POST proctors to hand out our certificates, my heart was racing. They started calling names and handing out envelopes—one by one. When the last envelope was handed to me, I opened it with trembling hands and saw... I PASSED!

The smile on my face must’ve been huge. I could barely contain my excitement. All 12 of us passed, except for one poor guy who didn’t get a certificate. I felt bad for him and told him to keep his head up—he’d pass the retake for sure.

As we left the academy, we shook hands and congratulated each other. Before heading out, I took a moment to look around the academy one last time, holding my certificate with pride. It felt surreal—this was one step closer to becoming a police officer.

The Drive Home – LA Traffic Madness:

The drive home was brutal. It took two hours because of all the events happening in LA—USC vs. Rutgers, a Lakers game, the state high school football championship at SoFi, a concert at Intuit Dome, and to top it off, Game 1 of the World Series between the Dodgers and Yankees. Traffic was a nightmare, but I didn’t care—I was still riding the high from passing PC 832.

Celebrating with Family:

When I finally got home, I told my family the good news, and they were so happy for me. We celebrated with a big Filipino feast, and I changed into my Dodgers jersey just in time for Game 1 of the World Series.

Game 1 of the World Series – Dodgers vs. Yankees:

The game was intense. Both teams were locked in, with the score tied 2-2, forcing it into extra innings. In the bottom of the 10th inning, Chris Taylor was on second, Max Muncy on first, and the Yankees intentionally walked Mookie Betts—a risky move. Then came Freddie Freeman.

With two outs, Yankees pitcher Nestor threw the ball, and Freddie smashed it to right field. The crowd erupted as the ball flew out of the park—a grand slam walk-off! The announcer yelled, “She’s gone!” History was made—Freddie Freeman became the first player ever to hit a grand slam walk-off in a World Series game. It felt like watching Kirk Gibson’s iconic walk-off homer from the 1988 World Series all over again.

Post-Game Vibes & Texts:

The whole neighborhood erupted in fireworks, celebrating the Dodgers’ win. I texted Lauren a meme of a Dodgers fan sleeping peacefully, and she replied, “F* yeah! What a way to end!”** I’ve never seen her cuss before—it was hilarious.

I also checked in with my friend who’s a hardcore Yankees fan. He was stunned by what happened but admitted it was amazing to witness history.

End of the Day – No Depression, Just Joy:

For once, there were no depressing thoughts lingering. I felt on top of the world—I passed PC 832, and the Dodgers took Game 1 of the World Series. It was the perfect day.

[iguanasplit]

hey, its the hottest spring, speudo-summer i might say. i am considering retaking journalling just because i have the hunch it would do wonders to my mind. drawing is too doing wonders to my mind, both simultaneously creating and allowing some information, ideas relief.

i am 24, writing to an old voice, from a website i barely touch but that craddled my dreams when i entered college. and now after eons im here, i do come here sometimes to just talk to you like this, but i do still come sometimes, the same way you pop on my mind sometimes, lighthearted, not always good, but always lovingly. so im here. 4:30pm still working hours but im on lunch break. i work home. extra time i waste because my organizing skills have always been bad and i heard it has a name and im not medicating propperly for it, but then again i never have and ive come this far. so once again, track lost and refound, im here. 24, sitting at home working, drenched in sweat because the weather is awful, but in front of me theres my keyboard, my screen and to my side its the box i set up yesterday, my first and very own CPU. its black, tall and the left side has a pannel that allows me to see the fans spin and the silver of the processors resistance. something i always wanted when i was a child. a real gamer cpu, bought with my own money, and something i wasnt expecting. assembled throught my own hands. i know i shouldnt celebrate departures but in this case i cant help but being way too happy. way too giddy. y' know the way my head just gets stuck on things and wont let go till a big dawn. i hadnt realized how much i was missing, (a pity my brain just wouldnt let go) being entirely obsessed with several groups and such. uh yeah. the posters are there and the albums are too, but i dont burn like i did, desperate to know what did the kpop boys i like this round do today. they seem to be busy, thats good but its as good as i care, i dfidnt realize until i left how in most cases it felt like it didnt quite fit.

now im back on games stuff, its like i should have come here before, you know i knew i would have enjoyed it, their approach, this peoples approach to art is much freer, much more experimental and interesting and i could cry on how well it feels, not just to see things i think about appreciated but finding people who seem to be on that same wavelength. not that i dont appreciate the time, not that i dont love dearly everyone the past around 8 years gave me. i am just simply overjoyed in what i find today. i guess in the end everythings a phase, beginning and end entirely important. how i enter and how i end, what i got in the process its whats really important. i feel youd get it. but more importantly, and the most importantly is that their approach to art reignited mine in a way i hadnt seen in years, that nothing, nothing ever came close to do in the past decade since after you passed. maybe bts came close, but that only solidifies a subject above that has to do with themes and experimentation of art. but back on track. many times last year and in the past few years i was considering jsut leaving art, wanted to rip it off me. wanted off so i wouldnt disappoint myself every single time i tried and tried and failed, knowing i could be normal if i let go something i was never gifted and pretending would just burn me all over. the whole process has been like trying desperately to bury a living thing and hoping it stops coming out. every feet of dirt i just kept disappointing me further, i kept wishing i could take it all lightly. i was so close to dropping it, entirely.and well the regret the regret of seeing how much does everyone around me with real art careers were improving so much while i was crunching code on websites, most time spent trying to tell myself i could make it without drawing, maybe that will ease me out on the paper. but it never did it never came easier, it became harder and harder, and most times i wanted off as if it never existed in first place. not that i didnt love it i simply convinced myself it would be pointless to put on an effort and be disappointed in the end by the lackluster results i end up giving. im sorry, no amount of eroding edges and softening remove how jagged my insides are, and sorry no amount of regret can turn back time and hone the skills for all the time i lost being afraid, thats always been my pitfall. im sorry i only wanted to make you a drawing to explain how much your art ever meant to me and i never got the guts to truly put you in paper. you have always been the most tender of souls and my lacking hand couldnt do justice. but i think im back now. what i mean is that im back to trying this for real, with the intention of breaking, the intention of what i desperately said i did but i never did. im breaking the bones and instead of burying it im ransacking the fucking grave i guess. it all starts the same place it ends. im back where i was in highschool when i decided my young naive self that i wanted to tell stories through art, obsessed with games and animated series, and you were there too, beautiful, so i thought, i should tell you, because i tell you everything.

and so im back where i started, so much time lost but no regrets i guess. sorry not for dropping the pencil but for the many many times i lied about it. you will have my worse because thats after all the most that could be given, stupid, and worrysome, and unable to stop making all the mistakes i didnt make when i was young and too busying trying to make a daughter my parents would be proud instead of whatever i am so theres so much to pick up. i am to be build from scratch, so much to do, so much rough, so much lack of skills, and so you will have me in all the mistakes and loose ends i left, the splinter in the wood from everything i tore apart and never propperly cleaned, but its all of me, and theres so much to clean here before we can propperly start anew. i will take care of it. anyway, i build a computer from scratch like i wished when i was 14 and i still have some tasks to do for work today, but after that im all yours so if youll have me.

[starlighthan]

starting over again bc i failed my programming course 🤩 love that for us! thank god it's not gonna delay my graduation aye

[shine-of-aldhani]

Daemon and Laena in Pentos: a long analysis

I have seen people completely divided on whether he was presented as a good husband, a bad one, or anything in between, and I feel like the scenes had lots of subtext that bears looking into, so here is my analysis of them:

- Dragonriding scene: apart from showing us that they are pretty in synch while performing the tricks, it's crucial to notice that they are, indeed, performing for their hosts. They aren't flying just for pleasure: the dragons are circling the castle; the vertical take off, the skydive and the fireball are all positioned in such a way as to offer the Prince of Pentos the best view (this will be important for later).

- The dinner: Laena is at ease and jokes with the Prince. The prince toasts Daemon's ancestor and offers Daemon a proposition. Laena answers before her husband. Daemon holds her hand and says that he'll consider the proposition.

- Library scene: Laena interrupts the valyrian lesson and confronts Daemon about the offer. He explains his reasons. Laena continues talking. He deflects once by caressing her stomach. She stops his hands and presses her point. He deflects again by leaning his head on her. She continues talking through this. He then deflects the 3rd time by pretending to read, and she gives up.

- Balcony scene: Daemon is (hiding) chilling and Laena comes to him again. He smiles and helps her sit down comfortably. She retakes her agenda of convincing him to go back to Westeros. He curses the wine he's drinking (first verbal escalation) and once again evades Laena by standing up and turning his back to her. She approaches him again. At this point, he's done and escalates fully to a sarcastic verbal lashing. She stops talking and offers him physical comfort, but now he is the one who doesn't accept it.

It's obvious that this marriage has problems, but this does not read to me as Daemon being a bad husband to Laena. She feels comfortable enough in her marriage to relentlessly (nag) pursue him to get what she wants. He is way worse than her at communicating: he does explain his point of view initially, but as that fails, he defaults to repeatedly evading her until he does lose his cool at the end. Both offer small gestures of comfort to each other, and both have bad timing so that the offer isn't accepted. Laena knows that she's second best and seems at peace with it - she probably suspected this going in. Daemon seems like he's doing his absolute best to the point where it's sucking all the joy out of him. They seem to respect each other and care for each other, and their main problem is that what they envision for their family going forward are two vastly different things. Laena's wish to go home is easy to understand. Daemon's problem is less clear, but five episodes have given us enough cues to decipher it.

Daemon is a second son who has no possessions in his name, and this fact has finally caught up to him. He isn't banished, but he cannot remain in Kings Landing without the relationship with his brother breaking down in a matter of days. He also cannot squat on Rhaenyra's property at Dragonstone anymore. Pentos offers Daemon a stable way to support his family in the wake of the birth of his 3rd child - but the caveat is that he must work for this (and he's low-key already doing that - see the point about the dragon exhibition). Laena thinks it's beneath him and he absolutely feels the same, but he'd still rather figuratively work to maintain his family by defending Pentos on Caraxes than have them live on Driftmark off Corlys' benevolence as Laena wants.

All this is compounded by his ambivalent relationship with his Valyrian heritage. At the beginning of the series, Daemon was one of six living Valyrians. His obsession with sticking together, keeping the language alive and distrusting outsiders in family matters all stem from the fact that his race is dying (and with only six remaining specimens, it's actually already dead). And yeah, he can talk about Targaryens being superior all he wants, but his true feelings were clear in this episode: "we don't belong anywhere". And yet, instead of sticking together, they are now at a point where Daemon would rather keep away to avoid escalation than be with the people he obviously misses. And I'm not even touching the whole "Rhaenyra is following his marriage advice with his once upon a time subordinate" thing.

The result is that he's absolutely adrift during the episode. Laena sees this: she remarks that if he liked his life in Pentos, he'd be out exploring the city the same way he loved and explored King's Landing. He'd be out flying Caraxes for pleasure, not for exhibition. Part of her insistence to go home is absolutely for Daemon's own benefit, but she cannot understand his problems since he cannot verbalize them.

When Laena dies, not only Daemon's old life in Westeros is still closed to him, a new life in Pentos isn't possible either. He does from expecting a 3rd child with his dragonriding wife in their maybe forever home to watching her immolate herself and leave him and his daughters with zero family support in a foreign land. So yeah... I would have loved to see him comfort the girls in their shared grief. He absolutely should have. But it also kind of made sense that he completely closed off instead. Here is to him figuring this stuff out at some point.

[seijorhi]

Reminiscent

i’m (semi) back, y’all, and i come bearing a fic!! fhdjhfjdk it’s for oikawa i won’t apologise

Oikawa Tooru x female reader

TW non-con, drunk/drugged reader, forced infidelity, emotional manipulation, angst, past trauma, coercion, mild(ish?) smut, nsfw

“F-fuck, cutie! Just like – hah– just like that!”

You weren’t the clubbing type.

Not usually, at least – but exams were over and one of your friends was fresh off a bad breakup, one night letting loose wouldn’t hurt.

Walking is… difficult, your steps are sloppy – there’s an arm wrapped around your waist, your own slung over a stranger’s shoulders. Why are you outside? Where are your friends – they… they promised they wouldn’t leave you. 

“She good, dude?”

A soft, pretty laugh rumbles at your side, “Yeah, she’s gonna be just fine.”

And you remember the bar, the overpriced cocktails and the saccharine sweetness of strawberry liquor on your tongue. The dizzying lights and the bass that thumped so loudly you felt it reverberate in your chest. You knew the rules; they’d been drilled into you since you were sixteen years old.

Stick together, don’t accept drinks from strangers, and watch the one in your hand like a hawk - it doesn’t leave your sight.

A tongue between the valley of your breasts, long fingers curling up inside of you. 

“You like that, huh pretty girl? You gonna cum for me?”

They wouldn’t have just abandoned you, right? Maybe you told them to go. Maybe they thought you wanted it; to go home with the handsome stranger.

You never had the guts to ask them, never spoke about that night again. Not to anyone.

Pain. Something thrusting inside of you, splitting you open while he moans and pants atop you. It hurts so much and you want it to stop. 

Please stop. Please. Please. Please.

You’re begging, at least you think you are, but the words come out jumbled and wrong, and he just laughs, hiking up your thigh so he can fuck you deeper.

Why won’t he stop?

When you wake up, bruised and sore and all alone in your bed, it feels like a bad dream. You know it’s not – not with cum still seeping from between your thighs, the scent of the stranger’s cologne clinging to your sheets.

And you scrub your skin raw in the shower, but it isn’t enough to rid you of his touch.

—

It’s nothing like what they show on tv.

There’s no sympathetic detective to pat you on your shoulder while you break down, swearing that they’ll find the man who did this and you’ll get your justice.

You don’t go to the cops because you’ll know what they’ll say. You were drunk, drugged, and even if you could remember what he looked like (his eyes were brown, you think, and there’s a flash of a smirk in your head but the moment you try to focus on it it slips away like smoke) any evidence of rape washed down the drain the moment you stepped into the steaming shower.

At least… that’s what you tell yourself. It’s easier than admitting you’re terrified of judgemental eyes. 

Or worse; pitying ones.

So you pretend that nothing happened. You show up to your classes and throw yourself into studying, make the time to get coffee with your friends, you even pick up a part time job – it’s good to keep busy. 

The nightmares are just that; nightmares.

And things are fine, until they’re not.

—

“Baby, you’re here!!”

There’s barely time to drop your bags before she’s pulling you into a warm hug. “Hi mom,” you reply, squeezing her back.

When she draws back to take you in, one hand cupping your cheek, she frowns, “You look tired sweetheart. Have you been sleeping enough?”

“Yeah, just tired from exams and stuff.”

She looks unconvinced, but mercifully doesn’t push the issue. Of course, you don’t tell her that you missed your last two exams because you’d walked past some guy wearing that same cologne and just choked – that instead of finishing off your semester strong, you’d spent the day alternating between throwing up and crying in bed.

She doesn’t need to know that, because of that, you’ll probably fail both classes and have to retake them again next semester on top of an already full course load. It’s fine; you’ll figure it out.

For now, you work on matching her enthusiasm at having you home, grabbing your bags to bring them inside and into your old room.

“Oh, wait–”

Abruptly, you pause, gazing in confusion from the doorway of your bedroom. There’s a duffle bag lying open and empty atop your bed, a tangled jump rope, some weights, an empty bottle, a sweat towel – even what looks like a spare workout tee scattered haphazardly across the sheets.

“… I didn’t take you for a gym junkie, mom.”

She stops behind you, sighing. “It’s not mine it’s– Tooru said he was going to tidy it up, sorry sweetheart.” She sweeps past you to start tidying it up, but not before you catch sight of her wide eyed, deer in headlights expression.

And you can’t help the lone eyebrow that rises, falling back against the doorframe, arms folding across your chest. “Tooru, huh?” you grin, “And who might Tooru be?”

The flustered, almost guilty look she sends you makes you want to laugh – this is easy, comfortable, this you can do – but you restrain yourself. Just. “Tooru is… he’s– well, he’s the man I’m… seeing.”

She admits it like she’s confessing to a crime, eyes all wide and nervous; anticipating your reaction. And you suppose it’s not unwarranted. As far as you’re aware, she’s been alone ever since the day your dad walked out on you both – raising you was always the priority, or maybe the excuse. But you’re not fourteen anymore, you don’t need another father figure or every spare bit of her time and attention, and she doesn’t need your approval for this.

So you smile at her, “Is he nice?”

She lights up, her features – almost a mirror image of your own – softening as she beams, “He’s amazing, honey. I honestly don’t know how this whole thing really happened, or why he’s even interested in someone like me but… I lucked out with him.”

And so it goes, you prying little bits of information about the mysterious Tooru as the afternoon passes.

She tells you that they met a few months back, at the bakery she likes in town – and how she kept running into him; at the grocery store, and then at the park, and then on her way back from yoga that one night.

She tells you that he’s a terrible flirt, all smooth and charming with warm, pretty brown eyes, but he’s a good man beneath it all and she’s never met anyone like him. 

It strikes you, as you watch your mom animatedly talk about him, that you’ve never seen her look like this before. 

Happy. 

She can’t stop smiling, and when you look at her, really look, she’s almost a different person – younger somehow, a bit more care-free. It suits her, and you wonder with a slight pang in your heart how you never noticed how lonely she was before.

And she’s adamant that they’re taking things slowly, that he still has an apartment of his own in town – which to be honest, you really aren’t gonna judge her on either way – but it is kind of funny simply because whether your mom realises it or not, it’s clearly a lie.

The subtle reclaiming of your bedroom aside, there’s traces of Tooru scattered all around the house; the extra toothbrush and aftershave you’d spotted in the bathroom, the men’s  shoes and the jacket by the door, red wine in the cupboard when your mom’s only ever indulged in white.

You haven’t been into her bedroom, but at this point you’d hazard a guess that there’s at least one drawer full of Tooru’s clothes, probably half her closet cleared out for him as well.

“He’s coming for dinner, but I just wanted today to be just us,” she says, reaching across the couch to squeeze your hand. And you’re grateful for it, because you’re happy for her – you are – but you’re not so sure how you would’ve handled meeting the stranger holding your mother’s heart first thing. At least, not after the last few days.

Not when you still feel all… brittle. 

—

Tooru arrives a little after seven, and to say that he’s not entirely what you were expecting is kind of an understatement. 

She’d gushed about how tall and handsome he is – though personally, you think pretty’s the more accurate word, what with his soft, delicate features, perfect cupid’s bow lips and all. What she’d neglected to tell you was that the man in question, stepping through the front door with a faint smile on his face, has to be at least ten years younger than her, mid-thirties at most.

Suddenly, your mom’s initial reluctance to bring him up starts to make sense.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” he murmurs, stopping by your mom to drop a fleeting kiss to her cheek before warm brown eyes turn to you. 

Your heart stutters.

“Sweetheart,” your mom begins, slipping an arm around his waist and relaxing into his side, “this is Tooru– Oikawa,” she corrects herself.

He smiles at you, friendly and charming, “It’s great to finally meet you, your mom’s told me so much – all good things, of course!”

You force yourself to smile in return, “Yeah, you too.” 

There’s nothing overtly wrong with Oikawa, age difference aside – your mom’s clearly head over heels in love with the guy and on a surface level he seems nice enough, but you find yourself glad for the fact that he doesn’t make a move to step closer, try to shake your hand or god forbid hug you or something like that.

He’s nothing but a gentleman as your mom steps back into the kitchen to finish off dinner, setting the table without being prompted, pouring a glass of wine for your mom and one for himself before he offers a glass to you. 

“Oh, no I’m alright, thanks.”

You don’t drink so much anymore. He shrugs, like it’s no big deal but your mom pouts at you from the kitchen. “C’mon, sweetie. We’re celebrating tonight! One drink won’t hurt.”

“We’re celebrating?” you ask.

She throws you a wink, gaze softening as she turns to glance at Oikawa, already diligently pouring you a glass, “Of course we are. It’s not every day my girl comes home, and it’s nice having you both here with me.”

Oikawa’s fingers brush against yours for a fleeting second as he passes you the glass, and you have to fight to keep yourself from ripping your hand away. It’s nothing, you just– you’re not good with strangers touching you, and as nice as he is and as much as your mom might be infatuated with him, he is still a stranger.

“Absolutely,” he agrees, a playful twinkle in his eye as he clinks his wine glass against yours. “So you’re at uni, right? What are you studying?”

Uni’s the last thing you want to be thinking about right now, but whether or not Oikawa genuinely cares, he’s obviously trying to make an effort to get to know you. For your mother’s sake, grinning innocuously in the kitchen as she adds the last little touches to dinner, you suck it up, plaster a smile across your face and ignore the twinge of discomfort in your gut.

You can handle one night of small talk.

—

You wake the following morning to the sound of voices carrying down the hall.  

Not your mother’s – both are too deep, and your mom left a few hours ago for work. Figuring that one of them at least is likely Oikawa, you pull on a thin, satin robe over your pajamas, tying the sash in a loose knot before you slip from the room.

Those suspicions are proven correct; you round the corner to find Oikawa sitting up at the kitchen counter, a warm cup of coffee in his hand. There’s another man, a touch shorter, but imposing with dark, spiky hair and olive green eyes standing on the other side, hands braced on the marble top, glaring at Oikawa.

They both look up at the sound of your hesitant approach, the stranger abruptly straightening up, while Oikawa merely grins.

“Ah, you’re up,” he observes cheerfully, taking a sip of his coffee.

Your eyes flicker between him and the stranger – clearly comfortable enough in your home and with Oikawa, despite the faint, lingering irritation still visible on his face – and as your cheeks warm, you find yourself wishing you’d put actual clothes on before coming out to investigate.

“I- I heard voices…” you trail off, awkwardly folding your arms over your chest. “Is mom–”

“At work,” he supplies. “Do you want some breakfast? Coffee, maybe?”

You risk another glance at the other man, watching you now with an unreadable expression, dark eyebrows furrowed. You swallow uncomfortably, shifting slightly as you shake your head. “No, I-I’m okay.”

And in an instant, a flash, something like recognition passes through those olive eyes. 

 Oikawa chuckles smoothly, finally tearing his eyes away from you to address his friend, “Iwa, stop being so rude. You’re scaring the poor thing.”

The stranger, Iwa, just scoffs. “You’re a real piece of shit, y’know?”

If he’s bothered by the scathing insult, Oikawa doesn’t show it, merely shrugging before turning his attention back to you with a smirk. “Ignore him, he’s just pissy this morning.”

You’d have to be a complete idiot not to sense the uncomfortable tension between the two of them – and now you. This is your home, but it feels like you’re intruding, like you’ve stumbled into a conversation you have no business hearing, but even if you wanted to leave your feet are rooted to the ground. 

“Besides,” Oikawa continues, “he was just leaving anyway, weren’t you, Iwa?” It’s almost a purr, the way he speaks, but even the silken words can’t entirely mask the razor sharpness that lies beneath. 

Goosebumps prickle along your arms.

Staring at you, Iwa opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but seemingly thinks better of it, snapping it shut with an audible click. He huffs, shaking his head. “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

He spares you another glance on his way out, standing frozen by the hall. For a split second he slows, his scowl softening just a fraction–

“Iwa.”

It sounds like a warning, but he only rolls his eyes and huffs again. You think he’s going to walk out without another word to either of you, but he pauses once more, lingering by the entryway.

“You look a lot like your mother, anyone ever tell you that?”

He’s out the door before you can even think to reply, letting it slam shut in his wake. And you flinch at the harsh sound, something uneasy settling into the pit of your stomach–

“Hey,” Oikawa’s there by your side, his fingers entwining with yours. You hadn’t even heard him move. “Come sit, don’t worry about Iwa. He’ll get over it.”

His voice is soothing, you don’t pay attention to the words themselves, the implications there. You forget for a moment that you’re still in your pj’s, that you really don’t know him that well either, and mindlessly follow when he leads you to the couch and sits you down, taking the seat next to you.

And while your head’s still spinning, an uncomfortable feeling gnawing in the pit of your gut, Oikawa seems entirely unbothered by the turn of events, sighing contentedly as he stretches his long legs out, one arm sliding along the back of the couch behind you.

“Do your… friends usually just drop by like that?”

You don’t know where the words come from, or why that’s the first question on your mind, but when you glance over at him, Oikawa’s just watching you, an odd little half smirk playing on his lips. “Sometimes.”

His answer does little to soothe your unease. It’s really not a big deal, you know it’s not. Officially or not, this is his home too – you’re the one out of place. And if he wants to have people over when your mom’s not around, that’s fine, he can do whatever the hell he wants, but… 

You came home for peace. To hide away for a few days and pretend that everything’s just fine and you’re not one breakdown away from shattering entirely. You wanted your mom and the comfort of your old bedroom and safety and it’s fine – great, even – that she’s found somebody who makes her happy, but this– him and the weirdness with his friend and everything is just too much, and–

You don’t realise that your leg’s bouncing until Oikawa’s hand comes to rest on your bare thigh. It’s enough to make your stomach flip, an icy chill trickling down your spine as his thumb slowly strokes across the soft, plush skin. “Relax, cutie,” he coos, chuckling softly when you visibly flinch and squeeze your eyes shut.

“P-please don’t call me that,” you choke out, fighting against the wave of nausea rising up your throat. And it’s just like last time, his cologne, notes of vanilla and cedar and spice, swirling thick and heady around you. That phantom touch, the warmth of hands gripping too tight, unwanted kisses hot and eager against your skin. 

“No?” he asks, cruel amusement dripping from his tone. “Why not? I think it suits you, cutie.”

You want him to stop, to push him away, slap him – do anything really, but you’re frozen in place, shaking as the memories you’ve fought so hard to shove down come bubbling back to the surface. You can’t think straight, not with his hand sliding between your thighs, the warmth of his body pressing too closely against yours.

“Iwa was right, you know,” Oikawa murmurs, smoldering brown eyes drinking you in as you childishly shake your head, willing him away. His other hand catches your cheek, drawing your face back to him as tears well in your eyes, stubbornly clinging to your lashes. “She does look so much like you, the same eyes even.” 

He whispers it like a secret, nuzzling his nose against yours like a lover would as he sighs sweetly, “It’s the only reason I could stand it.”

And then he’s kissing you, the tenderness of his lips belied by iron fingers digging into your jaw when you whimper and try to wrench yourself free. 

It’s not like the nightmares that startle you awake in the middle of the night, gasping for air; hazy, broken recollections that fade the moment you try to reach for them. No, every touch, every moment of his assault passes in stark clarity.

The feel of Oikawa’s mouth as it trails greedily down your neck, his hand sliding under the cotton of your sleep shorts, even his pleased little hum when he realises you’re not wearing panties. “Such a good girl for me. Fuck, I’ve missed this.”

This time there’s no drugs in your system keeping you pliant and helpless, but that doesn’t make a difference. Not when his words echo in your head, playing again and again until every awful, sickening piece falls into place.

Long, nimble fingers stroke at your folds, and you can’t help the shivery gasp that leaves you when the tip of his middle finger sweeps over your clit. 

“Please– please don’t do this,” you sniffle.

Oikawa presses another fleeting kiss to your shoulder, “Shh, none of that. Let me help you, baby.”

“N-no, I don’t, I don’t– Stop!”

Knocking away the hands that try to push him back, he hooks his fingers over the hem of your shorts and slides them down your legs, your pitifully weak struggles only making things easier for him. It’s only when Oikawa reaches for his own zipper that panic truly strikes home.

You can’t just lie here and let this happen again. You won’t.

And like a switch flipped, you start to trash like a wild thing beneath him, the scream you’ve kept buried inside of you for months ripping itself free from your throat–

Only for the fingers that had been toying with your pussy to be shoved down your throat, cutting you off with a choked gurgle. As you gag, fruitlessly try to tug yourself free, Oikawa leans in nice and close – except this time there’s no gentleness to his expression, nothing but viciousness as he grins and bares his teeth. 

“You wanna yell, pretty girl? Want the neighbours to come running, let them see me fuck you?” He grinds his hips against you, his breath shivery as he pants at the friction of his half hard cock against your side. Nausea twists at your gut, acrid and bitter – you want to be sick, to cry and beg with him to stop but with his fingers still stuffed in your mouth, his thumb digging into the soft underside of your jaw all you can manage is an unintelligible whine. He hums, kissing away the single hot tear that spills down your cheek, “You think if you cry loudly enough, mommy’ll come home and save you?”

And it’s like time stands still as he laughs, cruel eyes glinting when he presses down on your tongue, warm saliva pooling around his digits. “Such a little whore, trying to seduce her poor, innocent boyfriend the very moment her back’s turned. Tell me, cutie,” he coos, “who do you think she’d believe?”

Your breath hitches, another sob catching in your throat – even if you wanted to answer, you can’t and he knows it. “She’s in love with me, you know. It’s almost a little pathetic how easy it was to manipulate her into bed – so lonely… desperate for love, for somebody – anybody – to pay attention to her, take care of her,” he sneers, distaste curling at his lips. “Wouldn’t it just break her fragile little heart to know she’s fallen for the man who raped her baby girl?”

Another garbled cry slips past his fingers and you can only watch in frozen horror as his other hand drifts back to his zipper. “You want to protect her, don’t you?”

His grip relents just enough for you to jerk a shaky nod.

“Pretty girl, so good for me.” Another kiss pressed to your cheek as the quiet hiss of his zipper fills the air around you. “It’ll be our little secret, hmm? She doesn’t need to know just yet, let her be happy a little while longer…”

Sliding down his briefs just far enough for his cock to spring free, he strokes it for a moment with slow, leisurely movements, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he watches your eyes widen. 

And when he pulls you forward, guides your mouth towards it, pre-cum beading at the tip, withdrawing his fingers so you can quickly gasp for air, you just… let him.

The fight’s gone, as quickly as it had come. 

You let his fingers curl through your hair, use it as an anchor when your lips part to force his cock between them. And he moans, low and shivery as your tongue slides along the underside of his shaft and you try not to gag around the sudden intrusion. 

You think that there’s no room left inside of you for shame, but as his other hand creeps back between your legs, teasing at your cunt, you burn with it, clinging to the pyre of your own humiliation and disgust.

And still, you kneel on the couch, letting him fuck your mouth, letting those long, pretty fingers curl up inside of you – moaning around his cock when they stroke that perfect little spot.

“I wanted to – shit – take this slow,” he tells you as his hips jerk upwards, shuddering in breathless delight when his cock hits the back of your throat and it convulses around him. “I wanted to make you want me.”

Wet, messy, gags sound with every unwitting thrust – you’ve no choice but to swallow him down, let him fuck your throat like you’re nothing more than a toy for his pleasure. There’s saliva coating your chin, dripping down the length of his dick, pooling around his balls. You can barely breathe, a task made even harder when Oikawa decides to add his thumb into the mix, teasing your clit while he fucks you apart on his fingers.

It feels so fucking good, and you’ve never hated yourself more.

Your throat burns, hot tears stinging in the corners of your eyes, and yet he’s intent on driving you to the brink of your sanity with every calculated flick of his wrist. Something tightens in your belly, a spring coiled too tight, ready to snap, and you can’t help it when your hips chase his fingers, the needy, shameful little whimpers that leave your lips (still wrapped around his thick, twitching cock) as you search for the pleasure to temper the discomfort.

“You don’t have a clue what you do to me, do you? I could barely sleep last night–” 

You choke back a moan, your pussy clenching around his digits, sucking them deeper as white spots pepper your vision and you shudder out a moan.

“So pretty when you cum for me,” he pants, but you don’t care – can’t, not when you’re riding his fingers, tongue lolling out as he gives you a moment’s reprieve to bask in the rippling afterglow of your orgasm before everything comes crashing back down around you. 

Oikawa lets you fall back against the cushions, breathless, trembling and dazed. You’re not stupid enough to believe that’s the end of it, not when his cock’s still hard, throbbing against his toned stomach when he gives it a slow, cursory pump.

“Lie back, cutie,” he whispers, keeping his eyes fixed on you as he pushes himself up off the couch to shed the rest of his clothes.

And as you shuffle obediently downwards, heart hammering in your chest, you find you can’t tear your eyes away from him either.

Tall and handsome, she’d said, but the words truly don’t do him justice. A body corded with lean, powerful muscle, golden, sun-kissed skin, a light smattering of dark hair trailing from his navel down past the well defined V of his hips… 

“See something you like?” he teases, smirking when you squeak and childishly jerk your face away, cheeks burning. “It’s okay to look, you know. I don’t mind the attention.”

It feels too soft, too intimate for what this is. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. He’s not supposed to be attractive, or to make you enjoy your own assault, and you– you’re supposed to fight it, fight him instead of just lying there and taking it… 

But when he climbs back onto the couch, easing your still trembling thighs apart to settle himself between them, his touch is nothing short of reverent, dark eyes wide and adoring as you squirm uneasily beneath him. 

With one hand braced on the cushion beside you, his cock resting just above your aching sex, he leans forward, easing your top up past your tits. “Perfect,” he murmurs.

And it’s enough to make a fresh bout of humiliated tears spring to your eyes. Your hands curl into useless fists at your side as he settles back onto his knees and takes his cock in hand, hissing in pleasure when he glides the flushed, leaking head along your slick folds.

“Fuck, cutie. I don’t think I’m gonna last,” he laughs, biting down on his bottom lip as he watches hot, fat tears slip down your cheeks. With an agonisingly slow pace, Oikawa lines himself up with your cunt and presses in – even with how wet you are, one orgasm already wrung from you, the stretch burns and you can’t stop the choked gasp that leaves you.

His eyes flutter shut, head thrown back back as inch by inch his cock sinks into your pussy until finally he bottoms out with a satisfied groan. “Perfect for me, so fucking good,” he pants, and you barely have time to drag in a breath before his hips are drawing back, another desperate, strangled mewl escaping you.

Bruising fingers dig into your waist, Oikawa cursing as your plush little cunt flutters maddeningly around him– before he eagerly slams his cock forward, stuffing you full once more.

And as you sob and whimper between every wet, obscene squelch of his dick fucking into your soaked pussy, that all too familiar, shameful heat begins to pool in your core.

“Gonna cum for me again, cutie?”

[somemydayy]

Relationship! w/ Stray Kids

Chan— for the last three years you were stuck with the same terribly boring ballet partner. so when the cutest, and get this actually talented guy decided to joined the class. you might have maybe begged Shin Ryujin to trade partners at the cost of setting her up on a date, with your older brother. sorry bro, but love trumpets all.

Minho— you and minho has been classmates since kindergarten and for that, he detested you like no other. you always knew the right words to say to get under his skin. one day he spotted on your way to school, with terrible dark circles and ridiculous bed hair. he couldn’t contain his curiosity, and so he approached. just as he made his way towards you, he saw you chase after a cat, who so happened to run down the street, and up a old tree near your school. it was almost impressive seeing you run after the little thing. you weren’t exactly a track-star, and as horrible as it seemed minho liked seeing you struggle just a bit. but nonetheless being the good samaritan he was, he went to safe the lost angel. he finally was able to save the poor thing. at first he was puzzled by the sincerity of your thanks he received from you. he was surprised to say the least, he’ll never admit it, but he can tolerate you a little bit more now. but let’s make thing clear he likes your cat, not you. that is for now, at least.

Changbin— is the local tattoo artist you admire and wants to get a tattoo from, but he always declines to schedule a appointment. claiming he’s super booked at the moment. to bad your kinda dense, and this excuse worked for the last three years. but truth be told changbin thinks your already a beautiful work of art. in short he always declines booking a session, as a excuse to keep seeing you. being the well known and respectable artist he is, in the industry. no one questioned why he put you on they’re blacklist just in case.

Hyunjin— he’s your enemy turned friend turned lover, need I say more? you were jealous of his long silky hair, but he recommended his shampoo-conditioner combo. and now your in love.

Han— he likes horror movies so when he over hears you, a well liked, and very pretty might he add, classmate saying you had an extra ticket to the newest exorcist movie his ears perked up; and he ultimately volunteered, tribute. but poor guy, ended up biting more then he could chew. he screamed, and yelled all throughout the movie, and eventually got you both kicked out of the theater. but it wasn’t all that bad, because he got to hold your hand. and even got to exchanged phone numbers with you. so as a apology he bought you cheesecake at this near by cafe he enjoys, and you both decided to do a retake of your failed movie date, but this time horror was off the table.

Felix— your childhood best friends with felix. and you love squishing his face in your palms, just so you can count his freckles. but it’s frustrating because you always lose count, and have to start all over, again. felix won’t admit it but he doesn’t mind the way you stare at him. or the way he thinks it’s adorable how your eyebrows scrunch. or how your rosy cheeks blush every time he moves closer, or how your rosy pink lips move. he likes it when you count, his freckles. but he likes it even more when you lose count, because he can get to look at you even longer.

Seungmin— you where his best friend since kindergarten so you knew him pretty well, or you hoped so. all his good and bad qualities. but for the life of you, couldn’t figure out why seungmin for as long as you have knew him never introduced you; or better yet why he never had a girlfriend? you wondered. one day after a study session with the said boy, you were cleaning up and noticed he forgot some textbooks. you decided to organize them and put them away for now. as you picked them up a notebook fell, and you swore you stopped breathing as you read from the now open pages. “she’s so beautiful, words can’t even begin to describe it. she’s my whole world and more. I truly believe, I’m in love.” at that moment you felt your stomach twist in a thousand knots. seungmin liked someone, but you weren’t happy about it. and somehow you found yourself putting away the journal on your shelf with the rest of the forgot books you never bother reading, twice.

Jeongin— you were one year his senior and just happened to tutor him, back in his first year of high school. like many he was a poor adolescent with bad acne and braces. he could never imagine himself talking, let alone being tutored by you. but here you were, the most intelligent, and beautiful girl he had ever set eyes on, lecturing him on the importance of quadratic equations. and he really thanked the higher beings he was failing algebra.

© Somemydayy 2022 | Please do not copy or alter this writing on Tumblr or any other platform.

[travelling-on-the-octopath]

Anon has feelings on GW. They are not nice about the route and neither am I glkdfkgj

Alright, so as I understand it GW Claude's plan is to invade the Kingdom in order to attempt to drive a wedge between it and the Church, removing the latter while keeping the former still intact for the purposes of ending the war as quickly and cleanly as possible and so the Kingdom can still continue to oppose the Empire, who Claude (probably accurately) believes will come for Leicester again once the Kingdom is out of the way. Which is horrendous for lots of reasons not least of which being that Edelgard tells him to his face that she's taking out Faerghus whether he likes it or not, but that's just what he says is his plan. He doesn't explain this to Dimitri before or during his invasion, and instead just cuts a swathe through his forces as the Federation makes for Fhirdiad, killing (conservative guess since warriors gameplay ain't realistic and all) hundreds of his people, including but not limited to Margrave Gautier and the Galatea Pegasus Corps. He almost kills Rodrigue and Felix which I guess would've put an end to the venerated House Fraldarius, the social and political ramifications of which aren't something that Claude ever seems to consider nor does he ever seem worried that doing so might make Dimitri despise him. So, off to a great start already, let's keep on truckin'.

////

So it's 15 degrees above average and I'm trying not to die of heatstroke so now seems as good a time as any to go off about how GW is bad and the invasion of Faerghus is a pointless waste of time orchestrated by idiots. This might be a long one, and I'm sorry.

After this he attacks Fhirdiad, because if there's one thing guaranteed to keep casualties to a minimum it's holding your war inside a densely populated city. The church also isn't in Fhirdiad but Claude attacks it anyway in order to 'deliver a crushing blow' to the Kingdom which he hopes will 'get through that thick skull' of Dimitri's, because this isn't your grandma's Houses Claude who generally tries to talk to people. This is cool new Hopes Claude who thinks violence is the only thing people understand I guess, because Claude hasn't actually explained any of this to Dimitri and simply hopes that wiping out a huge portion of his army will somehow result in him giving up and abandoning the Church while simultaneously not actually surrending or even being diminished in his capacity to resist the Empire because those are both antithetical to his goals for reasons he himself explains. Claude just expects to 'contain' the Kingdom army by 'crippling' it so it can't interfere without actually wanting to deal it any lasting damage. Dimitri doesn't just steamroll him with the army he has in Fhirdiad and with the forces he attempts to retake Garreg Mach with because this is Fire Emblem and those soldiers don't exist until the plot needs them to.

Incidentally, the people of Leicester and the Eastern Church don't really care that this is happening, and Claude even describes the bishop there as a great guy. His high opinion of the people running the Church in his territory and the indifference of their followers will not cause Claude to consider whether his assessment of said Church might be incorrect, because Claude's shrewdness and intelligence has been replaced with moist cardboard.

Y'know, it sure is lucky for Claude that Dimitri just guesses based on nothing what Claude's intentions are, because had he assumed something else - like idk that Claude was here to kill him or to simply pressure him into diverting his forces across multiple fronts making it easier for the Empire to invade, which would've been a completely reasonable conclusion to draw and is a consequence of Claude's actions either way - his plan would've failed miserably. I mean shit what if Dimitri had died defending Fhirdiad after Claude shot arrows at his face from his giant magic doombow? Or surrendered after that 'crushing blow'? The Kingdom collapses and the Empire wins. Entire plan failed. Good job Claude, you mushroom.

The invasion is then abandoned because Bandits, meaning all of this was for nothing. You could skip everything that happens after Claude allies with the Empire until he comes to help at Garreg Mach and it would honestly change nothing.

But wait, there's more! Claude saves Edelgard from a counter offensive by the remaining Knights of Seiros and from the Kingdom. He suggests they don't need to take over the Kingdom if they can just remove the Church, and magically guesses that Dimitri was trying to do that even though the Kingdom and Knights have been bodying the Empire this entire time. She tells him to pound sand and that she's going to anyway, meaning this his entire rationale for the war is a failure and that he should probably reconsider everything he's doing. He doesn't, because Claude can only make perceptive judgements on the actions of other people once per week and he burned his cooldown reading Dimitri's mind just now.

And so, the Federation chases down the remaining Church members and slaughters them all, because Claude just kind of forgot about his entire life experience of growing up as someone of mixed heritage in Almyra and has decided that the big bad pope invented racism. I skip the final cutscene because I don't care what happens in it.

On the other hand Claude has a scheme like twice in the entire route and I wasn't bored so I guess it's a 10/10.

That was long. I'm sorry. This story sucks.

////

I should say that Claude goes for Fhirdiad instead of Camulus because he wants to make a show of how continuing to offer the CoS asylum is in direct conflict with the Kingdom's interests in maintaining peace for their people. In and of itself, in a vacuum, that's not a bad tactic--it's ruthless, it's harsh, but it's definitely intriguing and shows someone knows the optics of politics as well as tactics--but it's when he goes about saying shit like "this is the solution that takes the least amount of lives possible" (it's not) and "peace must be maintained at all costs" (this is not peace) and "this is the only way, don't you get it" (i don't get it, because you're not making any sense) and "i'm risking just as much as you" (no the fuck you are not) and refusing to understand that his tactics cost lives that he . . . loses me a little. I would much rather a character own up to the awful shit they do and say, "Of course I could have gone about it your way, but I know the answer to this world's problems and if you're going to try and stop me, I'll kill you," than do the whole "wah wah i don't have any choice, don't you get it :( this is the only way!!" because it never is. I would have been much more intrigued if Claude had sent a letter to Dimitri and said, "Hey, about about we stage a little shitshow to relieve you of your responsibility to housing the Central Church?" because then no one has to die, and Claude doesn't act like he's taken this great burden onto his shoulders because he had to rather than choose to bear what he does. (Kingship was a choice, my love. so was invading a country. Please realize that.) And he still maintains his cleverness! It shows he has a good head for politics and tactics in the same route!

The rest of it I pretty much agree with. The story is too sloppy to be finessed the way they wanted. I really genuinely cannot understand how he hears her say she wants to fuck the Kingdom when his whole reasoning for allying with her is that he's not going to let her topple the Kingdom because then HE WOULD BE NEXT. GOD, what a moment for him. I wanted to rattle him. A lot of GW is a mix of "huh, nice move Claude," "uh . . . don't know why you did that but I can appreciate it in a sense?", and "there was literally no reason for you to do that dumb thing. what are you doING--?"

[nightfall-kachiniko]

requesting really any angst with the aot girls 😭 just need some angst i will take any go nuts

ASK FOR ANGST AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE

「 AOT Girls (+hanji) reacting to you dying in their arms 」

Paring : Mikasa x reader, Annie x reader, Pieck x reader, Hanji (she/they) x reader

~ 「 I suggest you listen to this song while reading for a more emotional experience (if you’re in the mood to cry lmao) 」 ~

She cant believe her eyes. All that she can think of is how bad she failed you as you laid in her arms, blooding spilling out your mouth and head. Your arms and legs were gashed in big marks, as you felt the world before you slowly cave in.

“Y/N PLEASE!” Mikasa cried out, holding your hand. You tried to give her a small smile. “PLEASE DONT PLEASE JUST STAY PLEASE!” The woman cried hugging you. “I-I Am so sorry..” she gasped in between her tears, profusely apologizing at not being able to save you.

“you remember when we were kids?” You softly said, looking back on the memories, “Y/N P-PLEASE….p-please… please don’t leave me please please..” her sons became whispers, unable to control her emotions. “When we used to run around like animals,” you softly chuckled. You looked up at the weeping woman that was ontop of you. Slowly reaching out your arm, you placed it on her cheek, “I love you..” you confessed.

“my love..please..” Mikasa cried, her words begging like a prayer. She hiccuped as she grabbed your hand tighter, holding it. “We’ll meet again, I promise.” You said, accepting your fate. “No no.. no! Please y/n just wait a little longer please!” The Raven haired woman cried. “I love you, so much mika,”

“P-please.. please…” she whispered as you kissed her. “Another life my dear,” tears streamed down your cheeks at the sight of the end of you. “Forever and always Mikasa, I’ll always love you..” Mikasa hugged your frail body tighter her teeth gritting as her heart basically pumped out of her chest. “I love.. you to..” she said, holding back anymore tears. “I’ll.. see you.. later…” and as with your final words you took your last breath as the world faded forever around you. “Y/n.. honey..” she said, “y/n..” Mikasa tried shaking you but to no avail.

She weeped as she held your body, screaming at the top of her lungs as she cried. That’s all she could do, for her lover was gone. ‘Another life, we’ll meet again,’ was the words that lingered in her head. She still couldn’t accept the fate of her lover, the one of death.

Zipping through the trees as she rushed over to you, not giving a shit about the titan that just ate another one of your comrades. Annie scrambled to your body as it hit the floor of the forest, blood rushing out of your head as your stomach had been impaled, gash next to your heart and she knew, you weren’t going to make it.

“Y/N!” she screamed coming down from the trees. The sky up above was all you could stare at. You couldn’t move, your body almost on the state of paralysis. “Y/n!” Annie ran to you, kneeling at your side. Your wounds were bad, injuries that even the best doctor in Marley couldn’t even fix. “Honey.. honey hey!” She said, grabbing your hand, “it’s gonna be okay,” the blonde said, tears welting up in her eyes. “A-ah…” you groaned out in pain.

Annie dug through her bag, her hands shaky and panicked, trying to find bandages. “Shit,” she panted as she hurried to take off her jacket. She placed her jacket on your gash, pushing down hard, trying to stop the bleeding. But it just wouldn’t work, blood kept seeping through it, and the now blood soaked jacket was no use.

“annie..” you tried calling out to her as she dug through her bag again, trying to find something, anything, to help. “Annie… hey..” you saw the way she was worried, her panicked expression and tear filled eyes giving you no sign of hope. “W-WHAT!” She yelled at you, jolting her head towards you. “It’s okay..” you tried to give her a reassuring smile, softly trying to grasp her hand but due to your injuries to no effort.

“I- I JUST NEED TO APPLY PRESSURE I-!” you interrupted her unnerved yelling. “It’s okay.. you cant do anything about it …” you tried saying to her. “N-NO! DAMNIT I JUST NEED SOMETHING! ANYTHING!”

“Annie, love..” Your girlfriend broke down crying into her palms, her tears everlasting and her face a bright pink from crying so much. “I’m glad I got to call you my girlfriend..” you lazily smiled, “NO DON’T YOU FUCKING GIVE UP YET!” The blonde screamed at you, tears soaring down her face. “ WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY NEAR ME I COULD’VE…I…”

She wanted to curl up into a ball and die along side you there. She knew she couldn’t do a thing about your fate, and now that it’s approaching sooner than the breaths you take she couldn’t accept it. “You mean the world to me… you know that..?” You told Annie. She tightly grasped onto your hand, holding it close to her face and kissing your fist, sobbing hysterically. “Y/n please you’re my only reason of living..” she whispered, trying to catch her breath. “You’ve got a purpose, more than me.. okay..?” Tears of your own rolled down your cheeks.

“You’re not a lost girl, annie, you’ll find your way..”

Eren jeager’s first attack on Marley at Willy’s speech was a shock to everyone. The chaos all around you had suffered long and far as the titans began their fight, punching, kicking. Laura Tyburs titan emerging and Eren jeager eating it. Your body laid lifelessly on the road. Lights soaring up ahead of you as the sound of ‘three dimensional Maneuver gear’ flew past.

Pieck saw you on the ground, her eyes scared and filled with terror. “POCK! GO KILL EREN!” She demanded, screaming as her titan form hurried to you. Pieck stopped with a thud as she emerged from her titan, seeing you on the ground.

“LOVE!” She screamed at you, her fingers near your neck checking your pulse. “Mmm..” you moaned in pain, as your tired eyes scanned the blurry vision infront of you. “I- I NEED TO GET YOU TO SAFETY I-!” She panicked as she saw one of the scouts fly above you both. Her gaze worried as she tried to lift you up.

“Pieck..”you said. “I- I HAVE TO GET YOU TO A DOCTOR I-!” “Why are you.. yelling..” you said in confusion. Blood trickled down her hands that laid under your back as she picked you up onto her lap. “What’s..happening…?” You said, unknowingly. “I-I’m scared…” you managed to get out in between gasps of air.

“I-it…” The woman stopped in her tracks, “d-dont be scared y/n.. I promise everything’s gonna be okay we”re going to get you to a doctor and they’ll take care of you and by tonight we’ll be in bed together cuddling-“

“I don’t think I’ll make it till tonight..” your tired voice said. “It’s okay though.. I just wanna spend right now.. with y-you…” Tears fell heavily down Pieck’s face as she kissed your cheek, gritting her teeth trying to not make you panic. “No no baby you will, you will I promise love!” She said, brushing your hair with her hands. “PIECK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” A man running up to Pieck in Marley’s military uniform screamed at her. “GO GET A DOCTOR!” She yelled back, holding your hand tightly. “IT’S Y/N! PLEASE JUST GET HER HELP!”

you groaned in pain, your hands becoming numb as your vision faded from dark to light. “Pieck.. Thank you..” She jolted her head towards you, terror written all over her face. She saw how you lost that glimmer, that spark in your eyes. “W-what y-y/n baby please..” she said desperately.

“I don’t feel anything Pieck,” You said to her. “Y/n we’re getting you help I-I promise!” She wiped her tears. “You know I’ll see you again lovely..” Pieck looked at you in horror, “no love.. no please just hold on.. please,” she cried, her body shaking over yours. Tears falling down onto your wound. “I remember our first date…and I was so awkward….and I fell over with the drinks.. and even the waiter laughed” you recalled, trying to remember happier times.

“Y/n.. oh sweetie oh..” she held her mouth as she sobbed, hysterical. “You know.. you were the best girlfriend I could ask for… peck peck..” calling her by her nickname. “I love you…”

“Please don’t go..” Pieck cried. “Please.. please..y/n… please..”

“How lucky I am… to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard…” You whispered. “Forever.. My Pieck..”

The ground below the section commander scattered with blood.

The titans surrounding the entire wall, trapping you all. The mission to retake wall Maria has failed. Almost all the horses had been crushed. Rock flew in Hanji’s way as they braced themself for impact. In the distance your ODM gear worked faulty and you fell halfway down the wall, rock hitting you as it smashed into your body and then into the wall, inches behind you. You harshly hit the ground, landing on your side. Rock blasted in your rib cage as you screamed in pain. And for a moment your vision blurred and you blacked out.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you heard your lover screaming at you, shaking your body. You slowly opened your eyes to be greeted by Hanji, their eyes watery and filled with tears as they wrapped bandages around your wound. “h-hanji…” you managed to get out, as you looked up at her, their glasses broken and their eye bleeding swell.

She wrapped the bandages around your bleeding wounds as they cried. “Honey..?” You looked at hanji as they looked back. “I did good..right?” You asked her. Hanji gritted their teeth “ no you’re not leaving just yet! I’ll be damned if you do!” They replied fiercely. “Hanji… but I think I’m ready..”

“NO GODDAMNIT!” she snapped at you, their eyes deranged and red, tears still flowing down them. They punches the floor as they gave up in frustration, begging to full on weep. “Baby..” you said, saddened by hanjis expression. “I’ll be okay.. I swear… no matter what..”

“Why Couldnt Erwin just let you stay home!” She cried, gripping their chest as if they were gasping for air. “Hanji.. I promise..” you said to her, blood trickling out your mouth as your eyes lazily focused on the person in front of you, weeping about your soon to be fate. “I had fun..” you said to yourself. “I met you… I love you Hanji..” you said to them.

They looked at you, pain in their eyes as they tightly hugged you, pulling you into their arms. She sat you on top of her lap, hugging your numb body. Blood scattering all over her clothes. You buried your head into their shoulder as they petted your hair, sobbing. “I’m so glad we were put here at the same time.. aren’t you.. my crazy scientist…?”

Hanji couldn’t speak. The feeling of the loss of you overbares them. They couldn’t say anything. They just cried into you, absorbing the last few seconds you have with them. “I love you so fucking much y/n.. I love you… I love you… I love you.. I love you..” they kept repeating, kissing your cheek as they said. “P-please don’t leave me please..”

“I’m never gonna leave you…” you said to her, “I’ll always be right here,” you said, putting your fist to Hanji’s heart.

“I offered my heart….right section commander…?” You asked as they gritted their teeth, trying to not scream from crying. “Please Hanji.. I did good right…?”

“You did… amazing….you gave it your all..” She said,replying to you. “I love you…” they cried.

“I love you more..”

➪ Kachiniko ||♡︎ My Blog ♥︎ || ☾What I write ☽ 08/02/21

[cosmicjoke]

My man erwin smith was a menace. He surely wouldn’t have agreed with eren and his plan to destroy the world and he would have come up with a new strategy but still we need to keep him and his actions accountable. He send who knows how many teenagers to die for his dream so I don’t really think he was that good of a man or at the least I don’t think he cared for humanity in specific he just wanted to prove himself that his father’s death was worth it. Love his character and his importance in the plot and it would’ve been so interesting seeing his development later in the manga and remember that maybe floch’s nationalistic ideals and the yeagerist group wouldn’t even exist but who knows? I also wonder what would’ve happened to eren if that day armin had died. Everything about erwin was so impactful, I still miss him so much.

Erwin definitely had some dubious qualities, but I wouldn't call him a bad person at all. The fact he felt so much genuine guilt and remorse for his actions is proof of his humanity. That's not to say he didn't do some bad things. Though whenever people bring up that he "sent so many teenagers to their deaths", I think they're forgetting that all of those teenager's signed up for it. They knew what they were getting in to when they joined the SC, they knew the mortality rates, they knew how dangerous it was. Erwin didn't force them to join. Interestingly, and tragically, I think the worst thing Erwin ever did, was what he did to Levi and his friends. As dedicated to the cause of saving humanity as Levi is, he's the only scout that was literally forced to join, pressed into service under threat of death. Erwin manipulated Levi and his friends from the very start, was in fact the very architect of the entire affair with Lobov hiring them as assassins, specifically so he could get them into the SC and so he could implicate Lobov in a crime, and though he didn't intend for it to happen, still, Erwin was indirectly responsible then for the deaths of Furlan and Isabel. If they'd been left alone, they would likely still be alive. And of course, Erwin, especially near the end, showed he was willing to act in ways which weren't necessarily to the benefit of humanity, with the coup, and then, later, his insistence of joining the expedition to retake Wall Maria, despite Levi's warnings and insistence that he not. Certainly, deep down, he placed his own, personal dream above the cause for humanity. But he also was a good leader because he found ways to advance both causes, and for the vast majority of his time as Commander, he acted and made decisions which helped the people behind the walls. He was able to balance both his duty and his personal goals, and indeed was a brilliant strategist and visionary. When he started to fall apart at the end, overcome with grief and guilt, that's when things started to come undone for him a little. I always think it's funny that people fail to consider this when they claim Levi made the wrong choice in reviving Armin and not Erwin, acting as if all of Paradis' problems would have been solved if Erwin was around. Erwin was having a mental breakdown when he died. He was drowning in guilt and self-loathing because he was no longer able to delude himself over the reasons he was fighting, and Levi could see that once Erwin did find what was in that basement, once he'd fulfilled his dream of discovering the truth beyond the walls, he would no longer have that dream to act as a shield against his many demons. To just assume Erwin would have been able to carry on and remain the same, effective leader he had been up to that point is, I think, underestimating just how wrecked Erwin's mental and emotional state was at that point, and how much more wrecked it would have become once he no longer had his dream to protect him from his feelings of guilt. Erwin flatly admits to Levi that he often thought it would be easier for him to die, but the allure of his dream managed to keep him going. Once you took that away, though, there would be nothing to keep that death wish at bay.

[etherealyoungk]

it's okay - dino

to anyone who's ever felt bad/disappointed about their results and grades, this is for you <3 don't let your grades bring you down or decide your worth.

-----

i sat at the couch, holding my phone, closing my eyes. i was praying for good grades. i really needed them. i let out a breath and clicked to view my grades and my heart dropped. i can’t believe it. i had failed my exam. well, i didn’t fail all my exams but i failed one. but still, i can’t believe it.i I stared at my phone, looking at the results. i refreshed my screen, thinking it must be an error, a mistake, but no. the big, fat F stared back at me, making me upset. just then my phone rang, dino’s name popping up on the caller id. he knew my results were coming out today so he must be calling for that.

but i was just so out of it at that moment because of the F, that i didn’t pick up his phone and just let it ring. how was i supposed to tell him? how could i tell him? i frowned and my phone rang again, breaking me away from my thoughts. it was dino again. i took a breath and answered the phone.

“HEY!” he told enthusiastically.

“hey”, i said softly.

“your results came out today, right? how did you do?” he asked.

how was i supposed to tell him?

“umm, i’ll tell you when you come”, i say, trying to buy some time from him.

“on my way right now actually”, he adds.

then the doorbell rings.

“please open the door”, he says cutely.

i smile softly at his aeygo attempt and cut the call, standing up to go and open the door for him.

i open the door and he greets me with a grin as he steps inside.

“do, how’d it go?” he asks, looking at me.

i look at him and look at how he’s looking at me eagerly, waiting for an answer. he won’t be disappointed in me, right?

“uhh…i did okay i guess…but i kinda failed one of my exams”, i finally say, not meeting his eye. because I feel terrible. i feel mad and sad and so upset with myself. i try to stop myself from crying but tears fill my eyes so i look away, taking a step back. he notices and immediately pulls me into him, engulfing me in a hug.

“hey, it’s okay”, he says.

“no it’s not”, i say. “i can’t believe i failed, i feel so dumb right now”, i add.

he pulls away at these words and cups my face in his hands, making me look at him.

“you’re not dumb, don’t ever say that”, he says, concern in his eyes.

he walks me to the couch and we both sit down.

i let out another sigh.

“but i studied so damn hard, really and this is the result, really?” i say, still not believing i failed an exam.

“i’m just mad at myself, i really thought I did well but i guess it didn’t”, i add, frowning.

he scoots closer to me, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer again.

“it’s okay. Ii’s just a grade”, he says again.

“It’s okay to fail or be bad at things, after all, you’re human. and exams are shitty anyway. it’s just one random person who grades you based off on how you answer some questions and you’re so much more than that. that person doesn’t know how amazing and talented you are at other things. so, it’s okay. don’t let a letter or grade define you or you’re worth- because you are worth so much more than that.” he says, looking at me.

“thank you, you made me feel a bit better”, i finally say, giving him a small smile.

“there’s that smile”, he says seeing me smile and i end up smiling more.

“but still, i have to retake the exam now”, i say, resting my head against his chest.

“i’ll help you this time, you can come and study with me after you’re done with classes. i’ll be your personal teacher”, he says.

“really? but i don’t think that’ll work. we’ll just end up cuddling instead of studying”, i say and he chuckles.

“well then, even better”, he says and i whack him playfully.

“you said you’ll help me”, complain, chuckling.

“we can cuddle and study and to make it even better, every time you answer something correctly, i’ll reward you with a kiss”, he says cheekily.

“that’s motivating”, i reply.

“it is, i know you can’t resist me”, he adds and i roll my eyes.

“well it better work because if i get bad grades again, i’m blaming you”, i say, looking at him.

“you won’t”, he says, closing the gap between us with a kiss.

[dragonsdomain]

Lair

“Well that explains why you’ve never been to your lair,” Ember said, smirking. “You didn’t even know it existed.”

Danny laughed before turning his attention back to the oddly familiar door in front of him. “Well I do spend most of my time in the human world. And I don’t even usually pay much attention to these doors. There are so many. How’d you find it?”

“Ectosignature, silly,” Ember said, rapping a knuckle on the wood. “Don’t you know anything about ghost culture?”

Danny looked away, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

“Er, sorry. I guess that was a dumb question,” Ember said. She gestured to the door. “Well here you go! There’s your lair. You can… ya know… explore it and stuff.”

Danny moved to open the door but let his hand hover over the knob, strangely apprehensive. “What was… what was inside?”

Ember’s eyebrows flew up. “You think I went inside?” She sounded dumbfounded. “Even if lair doors weren’t locked until the owner of the lair first opens them, Don’t you know how- I mean…” She corrected herself. “It is super rude to enter a ghost’s lair uninvited.”

Danny’s mouth formed a silent “O”, causing Ember to perform a facepalm. That did explain some of the encounters he’d had in the Ghost Zone.

“Well, uh…” Danny’s attention fell back to the door in front of him. “Do you at least have some idea of what I might find in here? I mean… what’s a lair usually like?”

“Eh, I don’t know exactly how it works,” Ember said, leaning back in the air thoughtfully. “I think sometimes they’re connected to your obsession. Sometimes they’re just like, where you’d be happiest or thrive the best.” She shrugged. “I dunno, I’m no scientist.”

Danny exhaled a puff of air. “Okay. That doesn’t sound so bad.” He placed his hand on the handle of the door. He hesitated. Why was he so nervous?

Vaguely ominous notes began strumming from behind him. Danny turned towards the girl behind him who was currently plucking out the foreboding background music on her guitar with a mischievous half-smile on her face.

“You know, you’re not helping,” Danny said in slight exasperation.

Ember stopped playing as she stifled a snicker. “All right, all right,” She said, feigning offense. “I’ll take my leave. Don’t die in there!” She said before speeding off into the foggy expanse of the Ghost Zone.

“Still not helping!” Danny called after her before turning back to the door.

Danny put his hand back on the handle. He hadn’t noticed taking it off. Perhaps because of curiosity, perhaps because of some unidentifiable anxiety, he paused before opening the door to examine its exterior. It looked familiar somehow, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on where he’d seen it before. It was something he knew he should know, but the recollection of where the door was from escaped him.

He sighed. Come on. Just open the door. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

He opened the door.

And he suddenly remembered where he’d seen that door before.

Behind the door lay a perfect replica of his own bedroom. He looked around in puzzlement as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Every detail was the same, all his model spaceships exactly where they should be, the little glow-in-the-dark stars arranged on the ceiling as close to the night sky as he’d been able to get them, everything precisely where it should be all the way down to the math homework laid out on his desk which he’d only gotten that morning.

Danny looked behind himself at the door, an eyebrow raised questioningly. Had the door just taken him to his own bedroom? His own house? Was the ghost lair of a halfa just his own home?

He looked back at his room and let out a laugh, changing back to human form. He felt a little disappointed that his adventure had simply led him back to where he went every day, but mostly relieved. He’d been afraid he’d find… well, something… in his lair that he didn’t want to find. His lair simply being his own bedroom was a bit underwhelming, but far from the worst it could have been.

In fact, he thought as he looked back at the oh, so familiar door, it was a little convenient that he’d been dropped off straight at home. He’d had his little adventure, and now he could commence his evening again right off the bat.

As Danny opened the door, he was pleased to see that it opened to the hall of his house, not back into the Ghost Zone. Yep, he was back at home.

“Danny, come down for dinner!” his mother’s voice echoed up the stairwell.

“Coming!” Yep, very convenient that he’d been brought straight here. He didn’t want to make his parents suspicious by missing dinner again.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and was promptly greeted by his parents and sister, all sitting down at the dinner table.

“Hey,” Danny said as he sat down, looking around dubiously. “...Why are we all eating dinner together? What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing, Danno! Except that your mother and I thought it might be nice to have family dinners more often,” Dad explained.

“We know you’ve been having a bit of a rough time with school and, well, everything, and something’s obviously going on with you that you’re not telling us,” Mom began.

Anxiety spiked in Danny’s gut. Did they know? Were they going to figure it out? How did he mess up enough to tip them off to that fact? They couldn’t figure out his secret; they’d hate him if they knew that he was a-

“...But we just want you to know that we love you no matter what. And nothing could ever change that.”

“We wouldn’t even stop loving you if you became a ghost!” Dad bellowed jovially. Mom rolled her eyes at him but smiled at Danny in silent agreement to the statement.

Danny sat back, stunned. Did he hear that right?

Jazz looked as surprised as he was. “Did you just say you’d love him even if...?” Her question trailed off.

Mom cocked an eyebrow. “...He was a ghost? Of course. He’d still be our Danny.”

It was too good to be true. Danny still almost couldn’t believe what he’d heard. Tears pricked his eyes. “Thanks. That’s… good to hear.”

At the sight of the tears Mom wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulders. “Oh, sweetie, was that what you’ve been worrying about? Why you always look so scared when we talk about ghost hunting?”

“It’s just that, the way you’ve been treating Phantom…”

“Oh, we actually just made a truce with him this morning.”

...Wait. What?

Danny glanced at Jazz in confusion. She was grinning at him, but stopped when she saw his confusion. What? She mouthed.

Danny’s eyes dropped to the table in puzzlement. Something was wrong here. That hadn’t happened. At least not to him. Was there a ghost impersonating him or something? He really needed to get Jazz alone to talk about it.

Just when he was about to speak, something beeped loudly down in the lab.

Mom and Dad’s eyes met. “Jack, did you forget to-” Mom started.

“Yes.”

At that, they both rushed down the stairs.

“...Perfect timing.” Danny muttered to himself. He looked at Jazz. “I didn’t make a truce with Mom and Dad this morning.”

Jazz frowned. “But you told me about it during lunch. It happened during first period, remember? You missed that chemistry test to go fight Skulker? And you told me about how you were worried that was going to make you fail chemistry but I told you your grades were great even if you couldn’t retake it?” Danny looked more confused by the second. “You don’t remember any of that?”

“Jazz, since when have my grades been great?”

Jazz raised an eyebrow, pulled out her phone, and showed him his grades on it. He stood up and walked around the table to get a better look. Straight A’s.

Danny stumbled back. That- he didn’t have straight A’s, what- something wasn’t right-

“Jazz, where are Sam and Tucker?” Danny asked hesitantly.

“I think they said they were going to be coming over any minute now.”

At that exact moment the door burst open. Sam and Tucker entered, looking too happy, too healthy, much too carefree. Oh no, not them too.

“Danny!” They called out, rushing to give him a hug. Danny returned their embrace stiffly.

“Hey guys. You look like you’re doing… really well.”

Sam snorted, pushing him away. “Well you sound weirdly disappointed about that. What, do you miss all the ghost fighting we used to do?”

“Used to do?”

Jazz looked down at Danny in concern. “Are you okay, Danny? Don’t you remember all the truces you made with the ghosts? You’ve hardly had to fight anyone for weeks.”

“...I…” Was he in some kind of alternate timeline? How did he get here?

He suddenly remembered something Ember had said about ghost lairs: “Sometimes they’re just like, where you’d be happiest or thrive the best.”

Of course.

“...This isn’t real…” Danny whispered.

“What?” Jazz asked.

“It’s not… you’re not real!” Danny stepped back and glared at the things that looked like his friends and sister.

“Dude, of course we’re real,” Tucker said, reaching out a hand in concern.

Danny slapped it away and stepped back again. “No, you’re all just figments of my imagination or something.” He stepped back again and found his back against the door. “This isn’t real. It’s all just… fake.” He wasn’t really talking to the people in front of him anymore. He slid down to the floor and buried his face in his hands. “Why would Mom and Dad actually make a truce with me? Or be willing to accept me? Of course it’s not real.”

A hand rested on his shoulder. “Danny-” Jazz began.

Danny flung her hand away and phased through the door behind him, ignoring the shouts of surprise from those in the room. He found himself back outside his lair, in the Ghost Zone. A glance over his shoulder revealed the door, which looked like his bedroom door again, still shut. No concerned voices leaked through. Nothing thrust the door open to search for him.

He stared at the door numbly. It had been nice while it lasted, to have a dinner with his family, to have his parents not plotting his murder for once, to see Sam and Tucker without injuries stemming from his folly. Even if it wasn’t real.

A wry chuckle escaped his lips at the same moment as tears began to well in his eyes.

Of course it couldn’t be real.