#expac: shadowbringers

[ayakamizu]

FFXIV Write 2024 Day 4 - Reticent

Reticent: Adjective. Disposed to be silent or not to speak freely; reluctant or restrained. Characters: The Crystal Exarch, Ayaka Mizushima (WoL) Expansion: Shadowbringers Rating: T Notes: Warning for mentioned character deaths in another timeline, which involves minors. Takes place at the start of Shadowbringers and there are spoilers for the expansion as a whole!

No matter how much time passed, nothing would prepare the Exarch to see her again.

In his dreams, he envisioned Ayaka as he last saw her—hale and whole, giving him a reassuring smile as the doors slowly closed between them. A bright light in the creeping darkness, just like she had been in her encounter with a Queen of the Void. Perhaps it was then that he realized the full extent of his feelings, but by then destiny’s hold on him had come and the responsibilities of the Allag bloodline rested upon his shoulders.

(In his nightmares, he saw her lying motionless on the floor between young, identical figures. All three of them were unnaturally pale with their hands clasped together in a literal death grip—)

Ayaka was sadder than he last saw her, quieter in a way that spoke more to distance than the shyness he previously knew from her. Time and loss had hardened the Warrior of Light’s heart, fractured it in different ways than he could imagine. All the remaining records of the Warrior of Light detailed it clearly—a knight of Ishgard, a woman that embodied the ice she called home, and a mage of great renown. A few spoke of a woman with impeccable kindness who one day disappeared from all records about the Scions.

(Selfishly, he wondered if her heart yearned for the man known as G���raha Tia. The way she spoke his name upon seeing the Tower’s structure made him feel dizzy. Ayaka hadn’t known how much restraint it took to keep himself from reacting.)

The Exarch had spent a hundred years coming up with a plan to prevent that future from coming true. To fight for the survival of the people of the First. He could not falter in his quest to save those he held dear in both worlds.

No matter how desperately he wanted to tell her, he could not. 

(“An extraordinary tale. But I'm afraid I found no such individual residing in the tower when it passed into my care,” he said, feeling as stiff as a board and stomach churning uncomfortably.

“Oh,” she responded, eyes never straying from the Crystal Tower. “That’s… odd. I thought he would be here.”

Quieter, she said, “I hoped he would be here.”

The grip he had on his staff tightened, but she was too distracted to notice. “...Mayhap we can revisit that mystery another time. For now, I think it best that we focus on the present.”)

The Exarch was destined to meet death’s doorstep—he would not leave her with a heart broken even further. So he would watch from afar and pray she would forgive him in the end.

[ciphox]

ghosts on the first

(alt under the cut)

[hodinodi]

her familiar is so shaped to me

[cloudpalettes]

some scones

[lavampira]

d'alia liveq + warrior of light's journey (so far)

a realm reborn

heavensward

stormblood

shadowbringers

endwalker

dawntrail

[haunted-xander]

Shadowbringers is about learning how to live.

Your enemy is stasis- everything and everyone is stagnant, they wait and wait for something to happen, but don't do anything to make it so (because the ones who tried before failed, because they don't know what to do/how to do it). People don't change, they don't try, not really. The crystarium is doing well, it's independent and sustainable, but it doesn't have the reach or power to do much outside of Lakeland. The Exarch is more-or-less confined to the city (because of the tower, because he's waiting for you), so even if he had power elsewhere, he'd be limited with how much he, personally, can do.

Eulemore is filled with mindless indulgence, there's no hardships or labour or anything but luxury for the free citizens, and the bonded only have to worry about fulfilling the task(s) they were brought for. The outside world doesn't matter, hard work doesn't matter, personal fulfillment beyond indulgence doesn't matter, everything exist solely in the moment. The people out in Kholusia have pretty much given up, they stay close to the city in the hopes that this time they will be picked, this time they will be saved. They wait and wait and do nothing but wait. The ones who try to live on are dying out or eventually give up and join the rest in waiting.

Ahm Areang, Rak'tika, even Il Mheg are all just waiting for something, anything to happen. They go day to day, surviving simply because it's all they can. Nothing changes.

Until, of course, you should up. You, who causes a ripple of change simply by existing, who can move the immovable by sheer will. You showed them that things can change, that things can, and will happen, if they just try. You show them that they can make things better, that there is an option besides waiting for a slow death, if they'd just grab fate by the neck and tell it "No. We are doing this my way".

And they do. They rally up together and do what they thought impossible. Not all their efforts succeed(not immediately), but they tried. They tried, they failed, and they got up and tried again and again until it did work. They take the chances, not knowing how it'll turn out (because it's not about whether it fails or succeeds, it's about having tried).

They learn how to try, little by little, and every step they learn what it means to really live.

Endwalker is about learning how to love life.

Your enemy is nihilism- the idea that nothing matters, that there is no real joy to be found that isn't snuffed out by misery. A concept that denounces greys in favor of a black-and-white view where black is all encompassing. Everywhere you go, people are doing what they can to survive, but refuses (or maybe are afraid to, or maybe never knew they could) try to actually save themselves. The Forum plans for escape, to leave their homeworld behind and take whatever they can afford. They will live on, but they won't be saved, no one is saved(and even with escape they aren't safe, Despair is everywhere and She will not stop until all has become Nothing).

The Loporrits love Etheirys, but in the way Winter loves Spring. They know about it, they are so close to it, but they are distant. They're strangers, they've never met. It's love, and it's pure and true, but it's also just love. It's surface-level(because the surface is all they had). Their love is pure but it's instinctual. Programmed. They love because they don't know how to not love. They want to save it's people, save us, but they don't know what it really means to save, so they create refuge instead(because that's what She told them to, because this is how love works for them).

The people of Garlemald are terrified, they are victims of extreme indoctrination, the (deserved) push-back their army got proved them "right"(that we are savage beasts to fear, that they are but prey in the maws of rabid dogs). They want to be build-up again, but what's left for them now? The world hates them(and it's all their fault, the ones who see past the propaganda know this, but who will listen to them?) and they are dying. It's so cold and the fuel is running out. They won't accept help, because they've been filled with the idea that there is no such thing as pure kindness from "savages"(and they are too prideful to question it, to break apart from the illusion that they are surperior, because they're terrified to face the truth).

The sky screams, the earth wheeps and the foundation of existence is overtaken by Despair, misery is around every corner and who knows what will happen now? Where do we go? What do we do? We live and live but for what?

What's the point of it all?

That's the question, and the answer is everything. We live because there is joy to be found. Because there is beauty in the world. Because there are stars in the sky. Because flowers bloom in spring. Because cats purr. Because waves crash against the shore. Because of every single little thing we can see, hear or feel. Because we love and are loved. Because there are things to do and discover. Because why not?

And you tell them this, by letting them see that there is more to life than the little they have seen. The Forum has closed it's eyes to anything but it's own kith and kin, everything outside of Old Sharlayan is irrelevant(non-intervention, always non-intervention) and it takes the entire world coming and telling them "We are here. We are alive, and we will make tomorrow happen." for them to realize they have slowly been killing themselves and what they stand for(you pride yourself on knowledge, but where is your wisdom? What do you truly know of things outside your own bubble? You do not know that which is lived because you refuse to aknowledge anything but the written word).

The Loporrits see Etheirys itself, they experience it's corners and valleys and learn what love can really be. They want to save it, truly save it, because they love and this time it's informed, it's personal(I love you, I love you, and I want you to know I love your loves too).

In Garlemald everything is slow, unsteady and complicated, but it's changing. They're changing. With every person who accepts help the illusion of supremacy and "purity" melts away just a bit, and the wall standing between them and us breaks a little(it will never vanish completely, years upon years of oppression and subjugation and conquest don't disappear like that, but it's a start).

Shadobringers is about learning how to live, but Endwalker is about learning how to love life.

[jxthics]

hesperos 🩸 comm for a user on twt

[hemorrhoidbabe69]

Sunrise over Amaurot

+alternate versions I liked :)

[darthsuki]

There is an undeniable urge within me to replay the entirety of Endwalker bc something about that experience hit just *right* and I yearn to feel that sweet high of serotonin again

[graha]

what if we all killed ourselves

[ayakamizu]

FFXIV Write 2024 Day 21 - Shade

Shade: Noun. A specter or ghost. Characters: Emet-Selch, others mentioned Expansion: Shadowbringers Rating: G Notes: Diving into Emet's POV for this one! Spoilers for Shadowbringers and bits of Endwalker applies. Referenced EmetAzem (tfw you're getting haunted by your sort of ex-wife).

Being around the Warrior of Light is… difficult.

Hydaelyn’s Champion, a hero of great renown, and the bearer of a soul so familiar it made Emet-Selch flinch the first time he sensed it. Anger, disgust, and longing roared within him at the sight of that specific hue.

In moments of weakness, he wondered if his memory of her had started to become faulty. Some nights, as he laid next to his mortal wives, he dreamed of her—the way her long, dark hair rested against her back and the secretive curl of her lips as she conspired with Hythlodaeus. Her voice rang clear in his mind even if the exact shade of her eyes started to fade from his memory.

Unlike Hythlodaeus, there was no ghost of her to wander the streets of Amaurot’s shade. In a fit of rage, he denied himself the option. Now he regretted it, if only because the Warrior of Light’s appearance made him question everything he thought he knew. It would have been easier to remake her when the memory was fresh—like Hythlodaeus—instead of looking and wondering and questioning.

‘You would appear like this at the cusp of my victory,’ Emet-Selch thought. ‘Just as dramatic as your husband, despite your claims otherwise.’

“I never claimed otherwise,” He could hear her tease, a playful bop to his nose just because she could. Hythlodaeus would be nearby, trying to hide his amusement at her affection while Emet-Selch would scowl. “You needed more of a challenge, dear. You shouldn’t expect things to always go your way.”

She wouldn’t be apologetic about it; she opposed the plan to summon Zodiark after all. It had been the cause of their last argument before Emet-Selch woke the next morning and found her gone.

She haunted his every step this journey—why not more plainly at the end?

[potassium-pilot]

FFXIVWrite 2023 Prompt 7: Noisome

(cw: body horror)

As the sun rose in Lakeland but a fortnight after the defeat of Eros, the Lightwarden of the Qitana Ravel, so too did Dia. She stretched upwards and yawned, blinking her bleary eyes and slowly returning to reality, then stood up to walk to the mirror on her glamour dresser. The hairbrush against the wooden dresser was picked up that Dia could start making herself look presentable. One blink, however, made her stop at the sight of someone popping in.

"Well well, hero, what a coincidence", Emet-Selch greeted, leaning on the table in the back. "I see you're taming that mess on your head."

"You are the last person in any shard that should be allowed to talk to me about presentable hair." Dia turned around and sternly looked him in the eye while crossing her arms. "And what are you even doing in here, anyway?"

"I was passing through and thought I'd give a friendly hello."

"Well, allow me to give a hostile goodbye, then. Fuck off!"

"Nice try", he smirked. "Now, what is on the agenda of our intrepid hero today? I presume another thing that would make most men balk at the thought of doing."

"Funny you should ask. There's this utter arse who barged into my room that I'm trying to get to leave."

"Oh yes, isn't it dreadful? Why, I'm looking at her now."

She rolled her eyes. "You know", Emet-Selch began pointing out, "You ought to look at her too."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well certainly, you've noticed a few things different about your physicality."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. It's rude to comment on other people's bodies, by the way, in case you left your manners in your other clone."

"'My, what large teeth you have, hero."

Dia took her tongue and licked her teeth, slightly jagged and sharper than usual. Emet-Selch disappeared into a portal, reappeared behind her, and brushed his hands against her shoulder blades. "And these, of course."

With one touch, Dia felt a jolt of electricity down her spine. She jumped away from him with a yelp and yelled, "Don't touch me there or anywhere, for that matter! What's wrong with you?!"

"Nothing's wrong with me." With a wry curl of the lip, he retorted, "I'm not the one growing wings."

Dia breathed heavily through her nose to recover from that feeling. Emet-Selch chuckled under his breath. "Ah, it only took that to bring the valiant Warrior of Light to such a point of fear and insecurity? I could have rid my brethren of your obstinance ages ago had I known that."

He circled around her slowly. "I see perfectly well what you've done here, Dia. You can fool your friends, put on glamours to cover up those nubs, keep that mouth of yours shut even more often than usual, which says quite a bit really, but you cannot fool me." He cackled for a second before declaring, "The Blessing of Light may prevent you from becoming a slobbering beast, but I see now that you're beginning to reach its limits. There's only so much that Hydaelyn can do to protect you from complete aetheric corruption."

Emet-Selch grew closer to her and whispered in her right ear, "You're turning."

"Get out!"

He stepped towards the door and said smugly, "Ah, loathe as I am to deprive you of my presence, I do have business to attend to. Try not to pine for me too much, eh?"

"I'll be dancing on your grave one day."

"I'll miss you too." In yet another blink of an eye, Emet-Selch disappeared into the void, leaving Dia back to her preparations for the day.

---------

Now it had been some moons since the defeat of Eros, the Scions having been preparing their attack on Vauthry and the Lightwarden of Amh Araeng for most of it. As another morning dawned on Lakeland, Dia began her morning routine.

As much as she hated it, Emet-Selch became part of it. "Good morning."

Dia sighed defeatedly. "You really have nothing better to do than pester me, do you?"

"A lovely morning is incomplete without lovely company. For now, however, I'll simply have to make do with you."

Dia rolled her eyes and returned to her task.

"I still can't believe those dolts you call friends have yet to catch on. It's only become worse. The only one who's starting to piece things together is that miqo'te sorceress of yours, Y'shtola."

"There's nothing for them to worry about. I'm not a beast yet."

"'Yet' is the keyword there, Dia. Yet." He shook his head and gave a snarky laugh. "It's not too late. The people of this forsaken shard have already grown quite used to the fate of eternal light. You can end your suffering now."

"And become a Lightwarden with the power of three? I'll pass."

"You're already part way there. There's no undoing the damage the Light has inflicted upon you."

"There's lots of things that have given me permanent damage. I've learned to live with them too, including you."

He frowned. "Do you really believe that this is a noble task you've undertaken? Are you truly that desperate to play hero?"

"I'm not playing hero. I'm doing the right thing." She stared into the mirror. "I've got my goal here and I'm seeing it through."

As she spoke, Emet-Selch noted some effects taking place on her body. Her skin was growing paler against her arms and face. Her hair was becoming lighter, her golden hair shifting slightly towards something more like platinum. The tone in her voice, usually a bit more musical and human, started to sound more placid with each word spoken. "So long as I follow through the path set before me, I will be fine."

In a near monotone, she uttered, "All will be well."

Just as she said those words, the Light soon attacked the core of her being, her chest seizing and her shoulders burning. Her torso fell to the glamour dresser and she clung to sides of the wood for dear life as she held back the influence.

"Argh! Nngh! Augh!"

Emet-Selch witnessed the growth of her wing nubs as they began to protrude from the back of her pajama shirt. She was short of feathers, but the wings were more wing-like now- no longer were they just nubs on her shoulder blades. She had tiny, tiny wings sticking out from her back.

With that, the Ascian couldn't have left fast enough for his taste. Once she calmed down the Light, Dia slowly rose back to her original position and began to calm herself. "It's all right. It's just an attack. You're all right. Everything's fine now."

-------

Now a fortnight had passed since her victory over Storge, the Lightwarden of Malikah's Well. Dia woke up and rose without any fanfare. She stood there for a moment before walking over to the glamour dresser. Her skin had grown even paler, her blue eyes seemed darker, her wings more obvious and slightly bigger, though still featherless. Instead of nubs on her back, now nubs formed on her head. Were this a few moon ago, such a thing would have scared her, but nothing passed through her heart.

Nothing.

All she needed was a hat. Simple as that.

She was calm.

She was tranquil.

She had no reason to worry.

She had no reason to be happy. Or angry. Or sad. All she needed to be was there.

Out of the blackness appeared Emet-Selch like clockwork. "Why hello there, hero. Fancy meeting you here."

She turned around and faced him. Emet-Selch's eyebrows furrowed. There was nothing behind those eyes. Not a single expression formed on her face. All that was there was a blank slate.

"What? No hostile goodbyes? No pithy comments? Nothing? Not even a frown?"

She kept her vacant stare to him.

"Come now. Anything will do."

She blinked and said flatly, "Go away."

His expression shifted to one of judgement before he shrugged his shoulders. "Well, at least you still have that going for you." She turned back to the mirror, but she did nothing but stare.

"How does it feel to be part sineater? I must admit, I've never seen such a slow transformation before. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly intrigued."

She said nothing. She only stood there wearing the same blank expression.

"...how do you feel in general?"

"I am well", she responded without any expression in her voice or face.

"And...that's it?" Emet-Selch's discomfort grew increasingly more obvious.

"Nothing more is needed."

Well, this took away any of the fun for him. She can't be annoyed with him if she can't feel annoyance. Or anything, for that matter.

"Dia, look at yourself. Look at what you've done. If you let go when I told you, you could have gone with some dignity. Your fate will be more akin to a popped balloon than a hero of legend if you keep this up. You should just go somewhere private and release yourself from the burden."

Dia kept looking into the mirror. "I have my duty to the world. I will serve them. I will defend them."

For reasons he couldn't remember why, those words seemed to burn within him. He hated that it was this shard of Helios who would say such a thing. He hated that this shard of Helios said this with absolutely no fire or passion. It was empty and blank and pointless coming from her now that she was more Light than Elezen.

"Urgh! Fine! Pop for all I care! I look forward to the spectacle you'll put on soon."

He disappeared into the blackness. Dia continued standing there motionlessly, watching her new horns slowly poke out more and more from the sides of her head. The growth of her new body part didn't phase her at all.

--------

"I could throttle you right now!" Thancred shouted at Dia.

The two of them decided to grab drinks alone at the Wandering Stairs but a night after the Scions defeated Emet-Selch. Thancred continued his tirade, "You mean to tell me you were having these bloody symptoms the entire time?! The horns, the wings, the skin, the blank staring, all of it?!"

"Yes", Dia admitted into her hands as she held her head into them.

"I would never have allowed that to continue had you told us what was happening to you! You almost died because of this! What were you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to!" Just as he yelled that, he took a closer look at Dia. She was shivering slightly and her fingers gripped against her head. "Dia?"

"I'm sorry, I-I need to go." Dia stood up and rushed back to the Pendants.

"Dia, wait, come back!"

She ran even faster. Thancred leaned against his elbows on the table and sighed. With that, he picked himself up and made quick pace to the Pendants. Upon arrival, he knocked against her door. "Dia, this is Thancred. I promise I won't yell at you any more." When she gave no response, he gave another knock. "Dia--" His words were interrupted by the door being pushed open by his final knock. "Er...your door was open", he explained as he walked in. He looked to his right and left and saw no one.

"D...Dia? I know you're in here. I just saw you walk in here." He walked around the room trying to see if she found a hiding space, and found nobody. As he turned around, he asked himself, "Where did she go?"

It was then that he felt his hand just narrowly land upon something warm. He leaped to take the opportunity and tried to grab the warmth in question, but before he could get his hands on it, he saw sheets move as though they were being kicked away. "Oh, an invisibility spell is hardly fair, Dia! Be more sportsmanlike!" Thancred used the space made available to reach in and grab the warmth, just making it to her arms. "Finally."

"Let me go. Please", she shuddered.

"Listen to me. I'm not here to yell at you, and I'm sorry if I upset you. But now I'm seeing there's something wrong here and I refuse to let anything slip by my notice again. If there's a problem, then I'm going to do everything in my power to help. Please don't try to solve this by yourself again."

He stared at his invisible friend, then heard quiet sobs emerge from her spot. From where he sat, he crawled to her side and started rubbing what he believed to be her back. As she kept going, he asked, "Any chance you'll come out of invisibility?"

"No", she whimpered.

"All right. Then can you tell me why you're crying?"

She sniffled. "I'm sorry. Ever since the Light left my body, I've...I've been having a really hard time controlling my emotions."

"Ah, mood swings. Fear not- I'm well equipped to aid such things. The first thing you'll need", he started as he rummaged through his inventory before pulling out a heart shaped box, "is chocolate."

The box seemed to levitate away from him. "Consider yourself lucky; those were to go to a lady I've had eyes on for a while."

She opened the box, and plucked a piece from its interior. From Thancred's view, it was there, then it disappeared entirely.

"The second thing you'll need", he continued, "is to tell me what it is you're feeling."

Dia let out a shaky breath. "I...I haven't felt in so long. It's been moons since I've had a proper emotion. Now that I have them again...I'm not sure what to do with them."

Thancred gazed ahead of him. "Ah...believe it or not, I think I get that."

"Yeah?"

"That's not too dissimilar to what I had felt upon being ejected from the Lifestream."

"Really?"

Thancred nodded. "I wasn't quite sure how to handle myself for a while after that. I was aether for quite a long time, then suddenly, I was a man."

"That explains why you punched out Emmanellain, at least."

Thancred chortled, "Don't pretend that spoiled shite didn't deserve it."

That made Dia laugh. It felt good to him to hear her laugh again after so long. He grew used to her overwhelming tranquility. "Eventually, you grow used to feeling once more, and suddenly, it's as if you've never lost the ability in the first place."

He smiled. "In other words, it gets better. Keep believing in that, and you'll have reign over your emotions in no time."

She stayed silent for a moment before saying quietly, "Thank you."

"Of course. In the meantime, if you need to talk, you should know now that you can reach out. We can always grab drinks. You'd be surprised what you can get away with drunk."

She laughed again, and it was like music to Thancred's ears. "Keep practicing your feelings, all right?"

"I will. We'll talk later."

"Yes, we will." Thancred crawled out of bed and left Dia alone. Dia soon shifted out of invisibility and called out meekly, "Feo Ul? I need you."

In a flash of light, the king of the fairies appeared before her. "Oh my precious [branch], I can't stand to see your lovely face so saddened. Tell me your heart's desire."

"...this is cheating, but...can you help me get to sleep? Give me a nice dream?"

"Of course, my beautiful [sapling]. Lie down and I'll carry you along to the realm of dreams."

Dia did as they asked and laid on her back against the pillow. With their magic, Feo Ul tucked her in, then flew to Dia's face and placed a hand against her cheek. In a moment, sleep took the Elezen so gently, and the pixie began weaving the kindest and sweetest of dreams for their charge.

[mmorpg-escapism]

I'm replaying ShB on Petra and I just... am going to have Thoughts, and they are going to be Posted.

You've been warned.

[verysmallcyborg]

may all of the dark lost inside you find light again. in time tumbling, turning, we seek amends [my wol Fornax Val’ethtue, she/they]

[elf-simp]

Junelezen Day 28 - Family

"My dearest mother and father, I am writing you this letter from my desk in an inn room upon another world. A world that is, as I write this, awash with cataclysmic amounts of light. The day here has seen no end, and the people I have spoken to had not known the night until only recently. I have been summoned here by a one, poorly disguised, "Crystal Exarch" to aid in restoring this place to some normality. The other Scions are here as well, though they are only here by accident as I've been told. A positive note however is that we have already laid our path to victory. Beings known as "Light wardens" seem to be the key to undoing this madness. They seem to be conduits that radiate profound amounts of this light over entire regions. For a mercy, they seem to be easy to find and pose little real threat. With any luck, this whole ordeal will be over posthaste. We have already felled one of them, and with it's fall so came the cover of the stars. I merely wished to write and let you know that we are all safe and well. And though I myself am a world away, I am still amongst family. I hope to see us all return home soon. Your son, Kingdom Atoel Némésia Beauchêne"

Bonus picture of awkward and small Kingdom:

[girlbob-boypants]

"Thancred named the daggers he gifted Ryne 'Fatebreaker' because he wanted her to break the cycle her predecessors have."

That's great, Square Enix. Let me show you something really cool that might help with sharing that information