#exlover Bucky Barnes

[hopelessromantic423]

Things More Intimate Than Sex

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Sex with Bucky Barnes was great, but there were things more intimate that you had noticed over the course of your relationship. These are those things.

Warnings: Bad writing. Time skips. Angst. Breakup reunion. Cursing.

A/N: Howdy! I wrote this at 3am last night so it might be bad. Thought I would post it anyway :)

You love the little things in life. The little quirks of your boyfriend or the little notes you pick up about people you surround yourself with. You especially love the little things when it comes to intimacy.

Sex with Bucky was out of this world amazing, really, but that wasn't the only deciding factor when it came to loving Bucky Barnes. It was the little moments that felt intimate.

The first time you noticed one of these little intimate moments was sitting next to Bucky on the plane ride back to the compound. You had your headphones in listening to one of your favorite songs.

You heard a murmur and immediately pulled an earbud out and glanced up at Bucky wide-eyed. At this point in your relationship, you had the biggest crush on him but you could barely tell him hello in the hallways.

"Hm?" You said nervously.

"What are you listening to?" Bucky chuckled looking at your cute but curious facial expression.

"Umm.. just a song I've been liking a lot lately. Do you want to listen to it?" You held up the second earbud for him to take which he did. Bucky placed the earbud in his ear and you restarted the song, glancing up at him every few seconds to see his reaction.

He had a soft smile as the two of you sat together. You couldn’t help but blush as your legs brushed together. The littlest touch made your heart flutter back then.

A moment so simple yet you couldn't stop thinking about how intimate it was. Just you and him listening to a song only the two of you could hear.

The second time, you and Bucky had been dating for a few months. It was a nice stormy Sunday morning and you had stayed the night at Buckys. He was still fast asleep with his head dug into his pillow. The little creases from the pillowcase imprinted on his cheek. You sat slowly waking up, admiring him and his good looks. Even asleep he was like a Greek god reincarnated.

It was when you were glancing out the window, admiring the rain pouring outside, you felt Bucky's arm reach around your waist and pull you toward him. His face nuzzled in your neck and his chest was flush with your back.

"Good morning," he mumbled with a deep groggy tone.

"Good morning handsome," you sighed happily, scooting yourself as close to him as possible.

Those were the only words you said for the next thirty minutes. The two of you just sat in each other's company watching the rain. The warmth of your embrace kept both of you content as time passed.

The intimacy in silence was something you enjoyed with Bucky. Whether it be in the car, on a mission, or just pacing around the apartment together. It was a comfortable silence.

Intimacy was never something you searched for. Growing up it was terrifying. The thought of giving a little piece of yourself and never getting it back was maddening. Bucky was the one who introduced real intimacy. The soft kisses on your cheek as you left for work, or the sweet words he would tell you while you were on a date.

The moment that makes your heart soar and your stomach feels like a million butterflies is when he looks at you. Simple, but meaningful. His piercing blue eyes could cut through metal with how sharp they are, but for you, they are like the pretty blue sky and that sky is only looking at you.

It was Tony's annual New Year's Eve party. People paid large sums of money just to step foot in the building, but to you, it was just another event you had to go to.

It was more difficult than other parties mainly because you and Bucky had broken up two months prior. He said it was for safety reasons, and you couldn't change his mind, not even a little.

You sat at the bar with Nat and Wanda gossiping about all the new employees and their love lives. Nat would try and persuade you to go on a date with Steve every hour or so and you would refuse. Most importantly, every minute you would glance to see if Bucky was still at the party, and every time you did, he was not so subtly staring at you with his soft baby-blue sky eyes.

The intimacy of it all. The way his eyes sparkled under the party lights and how the music blurred the moment your eyes found his. Time stopped. No one else saw you looking at each other, it was like your little secret with each other. Like nothing else mattered at that moment except that you were looking at him and he was looking at you.

Your heart felt like it broke every time you looked, and every time he was staring right back at you. It must have been three drinks later and you were fed up with it. The constant need to remind yourself not to waltz over there and kiss him was getting to your head. Liquid courage goes a long way when you are heartbroken.

Bucky was talking to Steve and Sam as you walked up to the brunette with balled-up fists and your eyebrows scrunched together. Bucky looked a little taken back as he watched you pace the party floor towards him.

"James, can I talk to you for a second?" You huffed, not acknowledging any of the other men.

"Yea sure," Bucky answered timidly, placing his drink on the table beside him.

You pulled him off to an empty hallway next to the large party hall. His back was against the wall as you paced a little waiting to say what needed to be said.

"Everything alright? Are you hurt?" Of course, he says that type of bull crap. The perfect, caring, loving man you know is right back to what he knows. It angered you even more just how perfect he is.

"I don't know what game you're playing at Barnes, but it has to stop," you demanded. If it was possible, there would have been visible steam coming from your ears.

Bucky looked taken back. His eyebrows squished together and created a line in between them. His lips scrunched ever so slightly with hands coming up defensively. "What game? (Y/N), you think I would play some twisted game with you?"

"I need you to stop looking at me every five seconds okay? It's getting to be too much,” your eyes everted too the floor as you spoke. It wasn’t until you were done that you looked up at the brunette. Bucky’s expression had changed drastically. He looked sad, but still taken back that you would say such a thing.

"Can I not make sure you're okay from across the room? We haven't spoken to each other all night!”

“So… I don't get why you keep looking at me like... like that!” You pointed at his face dramatically, “How you're looking at me right now."

"Right now, I'm looking at you like you’re insane,” Bucky sighed with a sarcastic tone.

"You know what I mean Buck.” Your hand came up and dragged across your face in frustration. The energy from the conversation was slowly draining you, even though you initiated it. "I'm going to go back to the party."

You were a few feet away when you heard Bucky quietly but surely say, "(Y/N) wait.. I- I miss you."

You turned around, crossing your arms, waiting for what he would say next. In the back of your mind, it was pleading for him to say something that would make everything okay.

"I miss you and that's why I've been staring all night. You look so god damn pretty in that dress and the way I've wanted to walk over and kiss you as if nothing had happened between us.."

Bucky took a breath, glancing at the floor. He always did that when he was too scared to say what he needed to say. He looked mentally exhausted as he looked up to speak again.

"I regret everything that happened two months ago. I was afraid because I'm a danger to be with and the thought of you being hurt because of me... it's my worst nightmare." Bucky’s eyes were deep with sadness as he stared at you, praying you would do anything but walk away.

"I still love you, a lot,” he pleaded. He took two steps closer to you.

You couldn’t help it when a small soft smile appeared on your lips as you walked over to him. His breath was rolling off your cheeks, that’s how close you were. Your hand reached for his as you said, "I still love you too Buck, a lot."

That's when he did it. He looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world. He looked at you like that as you walked back to the party together, and when you walked down the aisle at your wedding and for the rest of your life. The act was simple and pure, but oh so intimate.