#excuse the horrible ship names i have no clue what the actual ship names are. i don't pay attention.

[kisses-for-cas]

Summary: When a witch hunt forces the Winchesters to go undercover in a suburban neighborhood, Dean finds himself fighting with his upcoming feelings for a certain angel. To be more precise: the angel, who currently pretends to be married to his brother Sam.

Ships: Dean/Castiel

Word Count: 8,200

Read on AO3

Tammy has lived in this neighborhood for almost 30 years – she raised her kids around here and now is enjoying her well-deserved retirement with her husband Harold. And if she knows one thing for certain, then it’s this: there’s something wrong with the new neighbors. It’s not because they are gay, Tammy tells herself. She believes herself to be quite open-minded, one of her nieces is actually a lesbian. It’s something else, but she can’t quite put her finger on it yet.

The men moved in today, only a few days after the last tenants died in a horrible and tragic accident involving the lawnmower and a malfunctioning electric wire. Tammy doesn’t like to admit it, but she always knew those two didn’t fit the neighborhood. Sarah brought it up several times at Sunday Brunch, and as it turned out, the entire neighborhood held a grudge against the deceased couple. At least the house still looked well enough to get sold almost immediately again.

It’s hard to catch glimpses of the movers, but she catches a few sights as she stretches out of her bedroom window. One of them has dark hair and is wearing a tan trenchcoat, the other one seems to be taller and is coated in a flannel shirt. Not really the type to be moving into this street, but they might turn out to be nice. She tries to keep an open mind, she tells herself, even though she doesn’t understand how somebody could possibly move while wearing a trenchcoat.

Shortly after dinner, the doorbell rings, and Tammy almost jumps forward to get it. Sarah told her she’d call once she had a proper talk with the new neighbors, but the phone’s been quiet so far. But to her surprise, it’s not her friend in front of the door, but two handsome men holding a basket with muffins.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Philipps. We’re the Winchesters,” the taller of both says, as he holds his hand out. Tammy shakes them politely, as she smiles at them.

“Tammy is fine, and my husband Harold is probably already asleep in his lounge seat,” she jokes as she shakes their hands. The man in the trenchcoat seems a bit more reserved, but he still gives her a small smile when she looks at him.

“Nice to meet you, Tammy,” the other man says again. “I’m Sam, and this is my husband Cas.”

5 days earlier

“Lawnmower accident?” Dean laughs, as he re-reads the headline again. “Well, if this isn’t our kind of thing, I really don’t know what is.”

“Exactly what I thought,” Sam replies, turning his laptop back to himself. “Apparently there were several deaths within the last 10 years in this neighborhood, and all of them were classified as accidents.”

“All over the area? So less likely a spirit, and more like –“

“Witches?” Sam finishes his brother’s sentence. “Probably, the victims weren’t exactly popular in the area. One of them had a kid, but the couple wasn’t married. Another person wanted to move in with her wife, but she died before she could. Seems like they are most likely targeting people, who don’t fit the community.”

Witches and conservative suburbs sure aren’t Dean’s favorite things in the world, that much is sure. But if people are in danger, there’s no way he’d let them down. Especially, if he might get to kill some fundamentalist witch.

“Huh, so what we’re thinking? I’d say go undercover, but brothers usually don’t go buying some white picket fence house in a conservative neighborhood,” the older Winchester proposes, while settling back in his seat. He remembers how they tried to infiltrate that neighborhood so many years ago and how the salespeople kept mistaking them for a couple.

“I thought Eileen and I could maybe do it, but her leg isn’t healing as we hoped,” Sam thinks out loud, wincing at the thought of his injured girlfriend. The recent werewolf hunt was tougher than expected and left Eileen’s leg badly hurt. Cas tried his best to heal her, but she was still struggling.

“Maybe one of us could team up with Mom?” Dean suggests but cringes once the words leave his mouth. “Urgh, never mind. I’m not very strong on the Oedipus thing.”

“What about me?” Cas chimes in, all eyes turning to him. Dean didn’t even realize the angel entered the room. “Since we are not related, it might be less awkward to pretend a relationship.”

Dean is left more or less speechless, as he babbles incoherent words. He likes Cas very much; they are best friends for a reason. But pretending to be in a relationship? Heaven and Hell have been teasing them for years about their “profound bond”, so they might even get away with it. But Dean’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the mere thought of calling Cas a pet name or holding his hand in public.

“Uh-Uh, no way I’m getting fake-married to Cas!” Dean protests once he finds the ability to speak again. His reaction was apparently a bit harsh, judging by the looks both Cas and Sam give him.

“Okay…,” Sam sighs, drawing the word out in a long breath. It sounds like he wants to say more but instead turns to face the angel. “Castiel, would you like to pretend-marry me?”

Dean can feel a blush creep up his neck, as he stares at his brother. It’s the reasonable thing to do, but it just feels wrong. Nobody ever questioned their status as friends, and Dean can’t even picture the both of them acting in love. When he thought his stomach felt bad before, he’s now actually feeling sick.

He’s close to suggesting a fake relationship with their mom again when Cas simply nods to answer Sam’s question. “Of course, Sam. I mean, I do.”

The two share a hinted smile as if they are both part of a joke Dean doesn’t get. The sick feeling still doesn’t leave him, as he stands up from his seat. He must have eaten something wrong today, that’s the only logical explanation.

“Well, Mazel Tov to you guys then,” Dean mutters, more to himself than to the other men. They don’t even look at him when he leaves the room behind.

———————————————————————————————–

“I still think this is a stupid idea,” Dean protests, as he puts the meatloaf in the oven. Somewhere behind him, he knows Cas is preparing the salad and Sam is busy fluffing some pillows on the couch.

“We need to connect with all the neighbors, and a housewarming party is the easiest way to do so,” Sam replies annoyed. He and Cas introduced themselves to everyone in the neighborhood, but nobody seemed guilty so far. Cas tried his best to “sniff the witch out” but only found some kitchen herbs in the local gardens and a loud laugh from Dean, when he explained his plan to search for witch-like smells. So far, they had no clue who the responsible party could be.

“Dearest, could you make space in the hallway closet for the coats?” Sam calls out to Cas, and Dean almost burns his hand at the stove. He had a few days to adjust to the idea of Sam and Cas pretending a relationship, but the term of endearment still surprises the hunter.  

“What’s next? You’re gonna kiss goodbye on the porch when Cas drives to work?” Dean snaps at his brother, who seems confused by the sudden anger.

“If the situation needs it, sure…,” Sam replies, but Dean interrupts him before he can continue.

“What the hell, Sammy? Dearest? What kind of weird pet name is that even supposed to be?”

“The one Sam and I agreed to,” Cas replies drily. The look in his blue eyes leaves no space for any further discussion. “This act is completely planned out, and we can’t risk our standing because you are having trouble adjusting, Dean.”

Just as Dean wants to argue again, they are interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. They can only hope nobody heard their yelling, the last thing they need is unnecessary gossip from the neighbors. Cas and Sam waltz towards the front door, while Dean stays a few steps behind them.

“Hello Tammy, Harold. Welcome to our humble home,” Sam greets the guests, as the couple enters their hallway. Cas takes their jackets from them, hanging them in the biggest coat closet Dean’s ever seen. Well, at least the house got some perks. Before he can think more about the architectural features of the house, his brother calls for him.

“This is my brother Dean,” Sam introduces him, and Dean tries his best to give a fake smile and nod politely at the boring stories the neighbors tell him. This is going to be a long evening…

—————————————————————————————-

“Well Ladies, let’s begin Sunday Brunch,” Irene happily pronounces, as she raises her mimosa in the air. The other women do the same, cheering each other. It’s the first Sunday Brunch after the Winchesters moved to the area, leaving more than enough gossip material for the group.

“They seem nice enough, but I heard Sam is unemployed. He just sits around all day at home and waits for his Cassiel to come back home!” Jennifer complains with a deep sigh. It’s no secret she isn’t the biggest fan of the new couple, but even she can’t deny the quality of the served meatloaf at the housewarming.

“His name is Cassiel, dear,” Beth replies, eying the salmon pieces hungrily. “They said Sam’s working in IT and can do it from home. Clearly, an excuse, if you ask me.”

The gossip continues happily: Tammy found out they only have one toothbrush. Irene asked about Cas’s job, and apparently, he’s working in a nearby library. And all of them agree, their marriage is weird. Whenever Sam touched his husband, it felt unnatural, and they didn’t kiss once the whole evening.

“We need to address the elephant in the room,” Sarah sighs, and the group’s attention draws over to her. She’s been quiet so far, which means her news are far bigger than everyone else’s: “The brother.”

“If I were only twenty years younger…,” Beth starts, earning a peal of laughter from the women around her. “He’s very handsome, that’s true.”

“Yes, and I think Castiel would agree with you there,” Sarah speaks, before taking a long sip from her teacup. The reaction is immediate, as all the women start talking at once. The Winchester barely lived a week in the neighborhood, but they already produced the best gossip they had in a while.

“Do you think they are having an affair?” Tammy asks shocked. Of course, she had felt the tension between the family members, but she blamed it on the stress of moving. But now that Sarah suggested it, it seems like a possible explanation.

“We can’t be sure yet, but I bet something is going on. Dean surely looked rather unhappy every time he saw Sam touching his hubby. And Cas got some serious heart-eyes for his brother-in-law.”

“Besides,” Irene steps in “their marriage just seems – off? There’s more sex happening in the way Cas looks at Dean than in his marriage bed with Sam”

“Irene!” The shocked gasp from the elder women makes the other guests laugh, as they refill their mimosas.

“Oh, poor Sam,” Tammy sighs, fiddling with her wedding ring. Being cheated on must be awful on its own, but having your husband fool around with your own brother? That’s a new level of tastelessness.“

“Anyways, have you seen Mrs. Ericson’s new haircut? Just awful…”

——————————————————————————————

Dean excuses himself early from the housewarming party, not knowing how much more of the charade he could have handled. He expected to get some blackmailing material for his brother, it was supposed to be a funny sight after all. What he didn’t expect was the burning sensation on his inside, as he regarded the play right in front of him.

He’s still mad about the whole thing, and how caught up both of them were. It’s one thing to hold hands and present in the couple in front of others. But Sam calling Cas by a pet name in private? That’s just unprofessional, even Dean knows that. And then Sam told him, he would even kiss Cas if the situation needs it…What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Nobody is going to force them to kiss, the party guests are all far too old to play “spin the bottle” anymore.

Would Cas even kiss back, if Sam initiated a kiss? The angel doesn’t seem the type for physical affection; hell, he only lost his virginity a few years ago! The image of Cas pressing Meg against the wall, kissing her passionately, popped back up in Dean’s mind. And then the image changed to Cas and Sam in the same manner…God, Dean’s gonna have to swallow some holy water to get rid of that mental image.

Carefully, he watched the way his brother and his friend interacted, and the sight made him feel uneasy. He thought it was a stupid idea for them to fake a relationship because it would just be weird. But now that he was watching the way Cas’s hand rested on Sam’s lower back, Dean realized it’s something entirely else: he’s jealous. It’s not a feeling he knows very well; after all, none of his relationships ever lasted long. But as he watched Cas laugh at one of Sam’s stories, their sides pressed together – it’s setting something inside of Dean loose.

If he hadn’t acted like a child, he might have been the one standing beside Cas at that moment. He would have been the one holding his hand, laughing at his jokes, and maybe even pressing soft kisses on Castiel’s cheek. Nobody would even question their act, he’s sure of that. And then his mind kept wandering, back to the memory of Cas showing off his kissing skills. Except now it wasn’t Meg, but himself getting pinned against the wall.

Dean’s not stupid; he knows he likes men the same way he likes women. It’s been a long journey to finally find self-acceptance, but he’s finally contempt with it. That doesn’t mean he’s going to buy pride stickers and tell everyone around him he’s bi. No, it’s his secret and he’s the only one who needs to know about it.

He also knows Cas’s vessel is very attractive. But those two things – his attraction to men and his profound bond with Cas – were never something he considered might be related. But thinking about Cas kissing him – it’s something Dean never knew he wanted that much. When the sight of the happy couple got too much for him to bear, Dean excused himself to get a drink. Only then he remembered they are actually on a job, and he’s supposed to be on the watch out for possible bad guys.

And he’s totally going to do that.

Once he had a proper drink.

——————————————————————————————

“Please tell me your stupid charade is at least getting you somewhere,” Dean groans, once Cas is settled in his seat across from him. They decided to meet up in a close diner to discuss their next steps, while Sam is hacking the public security cameras from their house. Dean refuses to call it their “home”, hating the implication it’s setting.

“There are a few people we can surely rule out,” Cas replies, stirring some sugar into the coffee mug Dean pressed into his hands. “On my drive yesterday, the energetic waves were much stronger at the end of the street.”

“Great, so what’s next? You and Sammy going to play house for some more weeks, until we finally got our suspect?”

Dean can only hope the hunt will be over rather sooner than later. He barely slept the night after the housewarming party, his mind racing with thoughts. Not even liquor helped to drown them out and the night left him feeling not only exhausted but more upset than ever.

Castiel releases an annoyed groan. “Can you just…you’re undermining this plan at every given opportunity, and Sam and I are getting worried you might risk the entire thing.”

“I just want,” Dean starts, the words twisting in his throat. He knows exactly what he wants, ever since seeing Cas and Sam casually holding hands and snuggling on the couch. But at the same time, he knows it’s something he can’t have. Angels aren’t supposed to have emotions, he knows that. But when he catches Castiel’s blue eyes carefully watching him, Dean can’t help but feel a spark of hope.

“Do you ever think things could be, you know, different between you and me? Maybe we could be…more…or…”

“Dean,” Cas replies, his name sounding almost like a prayer from his lips. “Are you saying…”

“Well, hello you handsome fellas,” a sudden voice snaps them back to reality and when they look at its owner, Beth is smiling at them. “I thought it was you, so I just had to pop in and say hello.”

“Hello then,” Dean grumpily answers, his eyes focused on the table before him. Of all possible times, Beth had to disrupt them just now. He remembers the way those nosy neighbors had eyed him at the housewarming party, and how it made him uneasy. But then again, he only had eyes for Cas that evening.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work, Cas?” Beth asks, an obnoxious tone hidden under her sweetly sick smile. Right, Dean remembers, they told everyone Cas works at the library. Good enough of an excuse to spend their time there.

“Uhhh – Lunch break,” Castiel answers stiffly, his eyes shortly glancing over to Dean. The hunter seems to have grown smaller by the second, as he fiddles with the menu.

“Well, tell Sam I said hi,” she comments cheerfully, as she finally leaves them alone again. Silence falls over the table, only disturbed by the noise of the diner around them. Dean can feel Castiel’s watchful eyes on him, but he’s not ready to face them yet. He might not believe in fate or destiny, but the disturbance came just at the right time. A few seconds more and he might have destroyed the best friendship he had his entire life.

“Dean…,” Cas finally breaks the silence, but Dean interrupts him before he can speak more.

“Just forget it, Cas…Let’s focus back on the case.”

They don’t pay any attention to Beth, who silently snaps a picture of them from the outside. It feels like the ultimate proof those two are actually having an affair; why else would they meet up in a diner during Castiel’s work hours? She can’t help but grin, as she sends the picture to her friends.

TO: BRUNCH LADIES

“Look who’s having dinner instead of working….”

——————————————————————————————

“It’s Jennifer,” Cas says, once the image of Dean flashes over the laptop screen. After several neighbors pointed out how attached Dean seems to be to his brother, they decided to stick to virtual conversations for the moment.

“You sure?” Dean asks as he watches his brother and his best friend sit on their couch. He should be glad to once have an entire motel room for himself, but for some strange reason, he misses his family. Okay, he knows exactly why: he hates not knowing what’s happening between his brother and Cas. Sammy isn’t interested in Cas that way, he knows that. But the thought of them holding hands is enough to get Dean bothered.

“Absolutely,” Sam replies. “She was already one of our suspects due to some lucky incidents in the last few years, but when I was at her house, I clearly saw some witch supplies.”

“Her magic doesn’t seem too powerful, destroying her supplies and her altar should be enough to stop her,” Cas adds up, and Dean nods along.

“She’s working from home, right?” Dean asks while trying to remember everything about the suspect. Jennifer didn’t talk to him a lot; she was more of a loner. Apparently, her husband died a few years ago and left her enough money to start her own jewelry company. “How are we going to get her out of the house long enough to take care of the situation?”

“We could throw another party. Maybe celebrate a birthday or a wedding anniversary. And you and Mom could handle the house in the meantime,” Sam suggests.

“She didn’t stay long at the housewarming,” Cas throws in. “We need some more time, there might be warding at her house – maybe we could try a distraction, so she stays longer?”

“You could fake-break-up your fake marriage,” Dean huffs under his breath, knowing already they won’t agree to it. If their plan fails, the entire cover-up story would be blown up. There’s a bottle of beer in Dean’s hands and he takes a deep gulp from it. It may not be noon yet, but he stopped caring about that years ago.

Cas answers once Dean finished drinking. “No, that’s hardly enough to draw her attention.”

“We could call Jack, maybe he can help out. He could be your unknown son from a secret affair,” Dean jokes next. It sounds almost like a cheap plotline from Dr. Sexy – except Dr. Sexy’s secret son actually appeared in season 3 and needed an organ transplant, which could only be donated by his father. While Dean tries to remember how the episode ended, Sam and Cas nod in agreement.

“I’ll call Jack right away,” Cas speaks, his phone already halfway pressed to his ear. A second later, the angel disappears from the couch, leaving only Sam in his view. The younger Winchester seems to wait for Castiel to leave the room before he addresses his brother again.

“Dean, promise me you won’t act up,” Sam tries to reason. “We can’t risk the entire thing because you are getting jealous.”

“Jealous? Don’t be ridiculous, Sammy,” the older Winchester mumbles, trying his best to not sound petty. “Scout’s honor, I’ll be on my best behavior.”

——————————————————————————————-

Dean’s promise lasts around 20 minutes, which is already longer than he honestly would have expected. He and Mary will enter Jennifer’s house at 1800 sharp, leaving them with just enough time to trash her little altar and the supplies. Jack is going to start with his distraction around 10 minutes earlier, giving Dean enough time to slip out quietly. It’s all planned to the minute, which of course means, it’s destined to fall apart.

They invited their neighbors under the premise of Castiel’s birthday, even though the angel technically doesn’t even have a birthday. It doesn’t matter anyway, since Sam promised some BBQ and apparently that’s enough to motivate everyone to show up. Dean watches the spectacle from a distance, occasionally sipping his cold beer. He planned to handle the grill, but some bored husband hushed him away to deal with it instead.

Cas looks beautiful, Dean notices as he watches his best friend talking to his guests. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans, and Dean makes a mental note to thank his brother for finally getting Cas out of his usual outfit. Then he remembers it means Sam took Cas shopping at some point, and Dean’s gratitude turns sour in his mouth.

“How long have you two been married?” one of the ladies asks Cas, and Dean tries his best to hide a snickering laugh.

“Too damn long,” Dean jokes under his breath, but loud enough for several heads to turn in his direction. Maybe he had a beer too much, but watching Sam and Cas acting in love isn’t a thing he can handle sober.

“Two years,” Cas replies shortly, shooting angry glances at Dean. A second later, he mumbles to his guests again. “May you excuse me for a moment?”

Dean steps back, ready to hide from Castiel’s anger, but it doesn’t work. Barely a moment later, Cas is already in front of him. His hand closes tightly around Dean’s arm, keeping him from turning away.

“What’s the matter with you, Dean? You’re acting like a child,” Cas hisses when he catches him in the hallway. It’s enough to make Dean angry again, as he pulls his arm away from Castiel’s tight grip.

“The matter with me?” he shoots back. “This is honestly so ridiculous, you’re acting so…”

A middle-aged man bumps into them, and Dean stops talking immediately. There are far too many people around and if he says anything about the case, it could ruin their entire plan. The guests are spread all over the house, leaving no place to talk in private. Well, almost no place…

“We need to talk,” Dean whispers, before dragging the angel into the coat closet. Some curious eyes seem to follow them, but Dean shuts the door before anyone else can spot them. The closet is surprisingly spacious, but the walls seem to suffocate him. There’s a bit of light coming in through the shutters, and he can see the concern written all over Cas’s face.  

“What’s going on? Ever since Sam and I began working this case, you’ve been acting weird,” Cas presses on and Dean knows it’s finally time to come clean about his feelings. He doesn’t want to lose Castiel’s friendship, but he can’t keep lying anymore.

“I wish it were me,” Dean rushes before he can chicken out again. “Instead of Sam. I wish it were me you’re married to. And I know it’s all fake, and you’re just pretending, but it’s driving me insane. Watching him hold you and call you those cheesy pet names. Because - because it’s something I want to do with you…not pretending, but for real.”

Once Dean starts speaking, the words don’t seem to stop rushing from his mouth. Cas just regards him with those hauntingly blue eyes, his head tilted in a way that always makes Dean’s heart melt. When all is said, Dean feels like the air was punched out of his lungs, as he awaits his friend’s answer.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because I was too stupid to realize it for the longest time. And then I just didn’t know how to say it,” Dean admits. He came close to confessing in the diner, but Beth interrupted them and afterward, Dean felt ashamed and stupid.

“Dean,” Cas whispers. “I want those things too.”

There’s the beginning of a bright smile on Castiel’s face, and Dean swears his heart skips a beat when the words finally dawn on him. Before Dean can overthink the situation, he presses closer to the angel and is relieved when Cas is doing the same. And then their faces meet in the middle. Kissing Cas is the easiest thing in the world, it turns out. Whatever Dean was so afraid of, is right forgotten once their lips slot together.

It starts out innocent and gentle, just like the way relationships start. But then Cas opens his mouth a little bit, letting Dean lick inside and,  oh  – now things are getting heated. Dean presses even closer to Cas, their chests flushing together and their arms holding each other close. Somewhere, Cas’s back hits a wall and Dean pins him against it. The moan that falls from Cas’s lips is almost obscene while motivating Dean only further.

It’s perfect, and amazing, and breathtaking – until the closet door opens and they stumble onto the floor. Tammy’s surprised gasp draws everyone’s attention over to the couple, still entangled on top of each other on the floor. Everyone’s, even Sam’s.

“What the hell do you two think you are doing?” he yells loud enough to attract the entire house to the hallway, where they are watching them closely. Dean and Cas are still on the floor, slowly stumbling back to their feet.

“Sammy, I can explain…,” Dean starts, but now Sam turns his attention to Cas. He steps closer to them, his pointed finger slapping against Castiel’s chest.

“You’ve been screwing my brother?!” he yells, before locking eyes with Dean. “And you! Is this why Fernando broke up with me?”

Dean is taken aback for a second. Who the hell is Fernando? It’s only then when Dean remembers their lesser-used codewords. He can still recall how he wrote it down in his own leatherbound journal:  Fernando – just play along.

“This got nothing to do with Fernando, this is about me and Cas!” Dean replies with an angry voice, before taking Castiel’s palm into his own hands. Cas gives him a quick squeeze, and Dean decides to have at least a little fun with the situation.

“I finally understand now, why I was so against your marriage. Because you two don’t belong together! Your whole marriage is a scam! You act all perfectly happy when in reality, you’re not even sleeping in the same bed anymore.”

Dean can hear the people around them gasp a little. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of the elder people would end up with a heart attack due to all the fake drama being uncovered right now. Besides him, Cas draws in a deep breath, before speaking to his (fake) husband.  

“It’s true, Sam. I’ve been having feelings for your brother for a while now, but I never knew how to address them.”

Sam just looks at them with the biggest puppy eyes Dean’s ever seen. His time in drama club surely played out. “Are you two in love?”

Dean takes a deep breath, looking over to the familiar blue eyes, and the truth slips easily over his tongue.

“I think I love Cas more than I’ve ever loved myself.”

The look on Castiel’s face is everything and without even words, Dean knows he feels the exact same about him. The room is quiet around them, and from the corner of his eye, Dean spots Jennifer amongst the watchers. At least their little distraction worked well enough for her to stay.

“As your brother, I wish you all the happiness in the world,” Sam speaks, his eyes fixed in the distance. When Dean turns his head, he spots their mother coming in through the entrance door, breathing heavily but otherwise seems okay. She gives them both a small nod, signaling them she took care of the altar.

The crowd seems satisfied for the moment, and Dean is about to lead Cas out of the house when a voice stops them midway. It’s Jack, who is shouting loud enough for everyone to hear: “Sam, I am your secret son!”

The drama is enough to make at least one elder lady faint.

——————————————————————————————-

Dean and Cas depart soon enough, leaving Sam to deal with the rest of the concerned neighbors. Everybody seems to be too caught up in the drama to notice their quiet leave. They end up back in the diner, this time holding hands on the table. Surprisingly, everything feels the same and yet, completely different than before. Dean can’t put it in words, but for the first time in years, he knows he’s truly happy.

It takes a bit of time for Sam to finally text him, saying his guests finally left them alone and they can come back to talk about their next steps. When the Impala roars down the road, Dean can feel the eyes of every household staring at them. They are probably wondering why he would be back so soon enough, but Dean doesn’t care. He just holds Cas’ hand on the way to the house, fully knowing he won the grand prize.

Jack and Mary greet them happily, and even Sam can’t hide his grin as he approaches his brother. “Well, if it isn’t the homewrecker himself.”

“Come on, I bet several of your neighbors would have consoled you all night long, if you had asked them,” Dean shoots back, throwing a wink at Sam. He remembers the way one of the ladies had clung to Sam’s arm, trying her best to cheer him up about his failed marriage.

They all settle in the living room: Cas and Dean on the couch, Mary and Sam seated in each of the armchairs, and Jack sitting cross-legged on the floor. It may not be much, but it’s their own little screwed-up family. While Sam gets them beers from the fridge, Dean considers putting his arm around Cas. They haven’t had time to label their relationship yet, but they’re both too old to play games. So, Dean decides to go with his gut and wraps his arm around Castiel’s shoulder. The returned smile lets him know it was a good decision.

“Sorry for the way I acted earlier, it was just for show,” Sam says when he passes the beer over to the couple. “I’m actually glad you two finally figured things out.”

“Me too,” Mary chimes in with a laugh. “Even though I was patiently waiting for your back-up at the house.”

“Bet you still did an amazing job without me,” Dean returns, an honest smile on his lips. He holds his beer towards her, and she clinks it with her own.

Sam fills them in with the details of the last hours, and how he watched Jennifer leave her home in a panicked state. She packed a few bags, before driving away with screeching tires. Well, another case successfully solved. They talk for hours while laughing about stories and eating the leftovers from the party.

“Damn, I could really use some sleep now,” Dean yawns, stretching his arms. A short glance at the clock lets him know it’s almost 2 am and they gotta hit the road early the next day.

“How about you two head to the motel, and Jack and Mom stay here?” Sam proposes. When Dean checks on Jack, the kid is curled up in his seat, snoring quietly. No way they’re going to move him somewhere else, so this plan might be for the best.

“You just want me to stay, so your neighbors see this pretty lady leave your house tomorrow,” Mary jokes, earning some quiet hollering from her elder son and a laugh from Castiel.

“Guess we’re heading back to the motel,” Dean finally decides, before clumsily standing up from the couch. If it weren’t for the awful neighbors, this place might actually be nice. The furniture for one thing is comfortable enough. And the closet sure gave him a few ideas what to do with Cas in the future. He takes a few steps towards the door until he notices something is missing. “Cas, you coming?”

“You want me to come along?” Cas asks, and Dean just nods.

“Of course, would be weird to stay with your husband now that you scored the hotter brother,” Dean replies, pressing a gentle kiss on Castiel’s cheek. He never knew angels could blush, but it’s a sight he will never get enough of.

“We’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine, better be dressed!” Sam shouts after them when Dean is already halfway out of the door.

“You’re such a buzzkill, Sammy. No wonder your husband left you”

“I’m just glad you’re finally out of the closet,” Sam shoots back with a grin. Dean already knows it’s a joke he’ll hear a thousand times in the upcoming years, but when he looks over at Cas, it sure is a price worth paying.

The drive to the motel is rather short, and soon enough, Dean unlocks the door to his room. Luckily, he had booked a room with a king-size bed. He rarely had a room for himself during hunts, so he had decided to enjoy that. Cas closes the door behind them, while Dean strips out of his flannel and his jeans. He’s still wearing a shirt and his boxers, but compared to a fully dressed Castiel, he almost looks naked.

When Dean comes near him, the angel wraps his arms around his torso and pulls him even closer. Once again, their lips meet in a kiss, growing more heated by the second. It’s with a sigh that Dean slowly pulls away again.

“Maybe we should take it slow, honey. How about we just cuddle tonight?” Dean murmurs, pressing gentle kisses along his jaw. The exhaustion of the day lies heavily on Dean’s bones, and all he wants to do is cuddle into bed, his lover beside him.

“Honey?” Cas asks with a raised eyebrow, and Dean feels himself blushing yet again.

“It’s just – every time I see a bee or something, I have to think about you,” he admits. “Remember how you collected honey yourself? Or when you showed up covered in bees?”

Cas smiles at the memory. “Of course, I remember, but why would you bring that up now?”

“It’s just a term of endearment, a pet name. I can stop if you want”

Dean was never a big fan of pet names. He usually called his partners by their names, not some silly phrase. But then again, he was the one who turned  Castiel  to  Cas,  so maybe the angel has always been the exception for him.

“No, I like it,” Cas decides, before pressing another quick peck onto Dean’s lips. “And I am fully contempt with cuddling you.”

After some discussion about clothing choices, Cas also strips down to his underwear. Cuddling in jeans and a dress shirt would have been awful, and Dean luckily managed to convince the angel of it. The bed is more than big enough for the both of them, as they lie facing each other in the dark.

“We should make you a proper Winchester someday,” Dean mutters, gently kissing Cas’s knuckles. He isn’t thinking about marriage, not yet at least. Most marriages he’s seen over the years ended in death: his parents, Bobby and his wife Karen, Ellen and her husband…The list goes on and on, including those couples they couldn’t save during their hunts. When he saw his own father stricken with grief for his lost wife, part of Dean swore he’d never marry. But then again, Dean never would have believed he’d ever live past the age of 30. It’s with a smile upon his lips that he finally falls asleep.

All his life, he expected monsters in every dark corner, and more than enough times Dean was proven right. He’s been long enough in the business to smell danger from miles away, Dean believes. Which is why he’s surprised to wake up to the sound of Castiel shouting his name.

When he opens his eyes, all he sees is purple. The room seems to be painted in the color, reflecting on every surface possible. And in the middle of it all stands Jessica, glaring at them with violet and angry eyes.

“You! You really thought destroying my altar was enough to stop me?”

Dean’s hand finds its way under his pillow but returns empty-handed. He must have forgotten to place it there, too caught up with his lover. And when he looks around, he can spot his faithful gun sitting on top of a dresser, which is inconveniently placed behind the wrathful witch in the room. Cas is already standing beside the bed, and the sight of a half-dressed angel ready to fight would be hilarious if it weren’t for the mortal danger they’re in.

“You’re an abomination,” Jessica yells again. “Dirty and sinful, and…”

The angel blade hits her right in the chest. Her purple eyes glance downwards, where the blood comes rushing out of her body. Apparently, she was so caught up in looking dangerous, she actually forgot to ward herself. And with Castiel’s heavenly aim, that could only end deadly for her. Jessica sinks to her knees; the purple flashes of lightning slowly disappearing from the room. It’s only then when Dean decides to approach her. Blood is running down her mouth, but she’s still alive, watching the hunter carefully as he kneels down in front of her.

“I’ve had a voice like you in my head my entire life, whispering awful things about myself,” Dean tells her, keeping eye contact as he pulls the angel blade out of her bleeding chest. “But now, that I’m finally happy, do you know what happens to this voice?”

Jessica doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t need her to.

He would have slit her throat either way. 

———————————————————————————————

“Welcome to Sunday Brunch, Agnes,” Sarah announces, as the women settle down at her dinner table. It’s been a while since they had another brunch, but it was long-awaited. Today, a new face sits at the table with them.

“So sad Jennifer decided to move away, but we are glad we got you in the neighborhood now.”

“Thanks for having me,” Agnes replies with a shy smile, as she glances around at the other women. “It’s wonderful to have such nice and caring neighbors, my old neighborhood was so scandalous…”

“Scandalous?” Irene laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. “Oh dear, you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

“Are you referring to the Winchester?” Tammy replies while stirring her tea. It’s been weeks since those men came and went, but it’s still everyone’s favorite topic of discussion.

“Don’t be silly, of course I mean the Winchesters!”

Beth releases a deep sigh. “I’ve heard they did it right in Dean’s fancy car after the party.”

“No, they threw Sam out of the house and then had sex in the bed Sam used to sleep in. How tasteless of them,” Sarah corrects her immediately.

“That can’t be.” It’s Tammy’s turn to speak now. “I saw him the next day with a blonde woman in front of the house”

“Guess he got over it quickly then,” some other woman giggles. “Have you seen the kid too? Sam can’t have been older than maybe 25 when he was born”

Agnes just smiles quietly, as she listens to the stories. She may not know the Winchesters, but they sure are entertaining as heck.

———————————————————————————————

Castiel becomes a Winchester on a sunny day in July.

It’s been months since the case that started their relationship, and they never spared another thought to those nosy neighbors. Dean suspects the rumors they started that night, but he couldn’t care less. Once the town disappeared from the Impala’s rearview mirror, none of them ever spared another thought to the neighborhood. Dean and Castiel couldn’t be happier, and that’s all that matters to them.

Jody invited all of them to her cabin at Lake Alvin, just outside of Sioux Falls. They are celebrating Claire’s graduation from college, and Dean couldn’t be prouder of the kid. He talks Cas into buying her the cheesiest greeting card they can find, paired with the most beautiful gun in the entire bunker. It’s got engravings all over and Dean even finds somebody who puts “C.N.” onto the side of it. He would rather have Claire live a normal life, but he knows it’s not going to happen.

It appears like everybody in the hunter community got the invitation: Sam and Eileen, Mary, Donna, the Banes twins, even Garth and Bess together with their kids. It’s not often hunters get to celebrate something, so everybody immediately jumped the opportunity. It’s a beautiful day, and at some point, Dean finds himself standing next to Claire.

“So, when you gonna put a ring on it?” she asks, nodding over to Castiel, who is chasing his little namesake all over the lawn in a playful game. Dean’s heart swells at the thought of this man being his husband. They hunt less and less these days, especially since Sam decided to move in with Eileen. It’s still a secret, but he and Cas recently bought a house in the same street as them. It might finally be time to leave the hunting life behind.

“There’s no rush,” Dean simply answers, trying his best not to settle on the thought. If he’d ever marry someone, it probably would be Cas. His eyes are still fixed on the laughing figure when Claire continues speaking.

“Whatever, old man. But if you ever want to tie the knot, just call me,” she says, shrugging with her shoulder. When Dean looks at her with a raised eyebrow, she continues. “I’m actually a licensed officiant, not that it would matter for you two anyways. Could marry you just like that –“

She snaps her fingers, before taking a gulp of her soda. Dean looks over to Cas again, his thoughts running in his head. What if…? The idea seems insane to him, but Claire seems to catch his thoughts. A smile breaks over her face: “Go ahead, dude. Just ask him.”

“Don’t want to steal your thunder, kid.”

“There would be no thunder without you,” she confesses, and Dean can’t help but pull her into a tight hug. He never expected to have kids, but he loves Claire just like his own blood. Her first weeks in college were rough, he remembers. But every time she came close to quitting, she’d call Dean. At this point, she’s just as much his kid as Jack, and he couldn’t be prouder of the people they’ve become.

When they step apart, Claire pulls a necklace from her neck. Two golden rings are connected on it, and Dean immediately knows who they belonged to.

“Here, this one should fit,” she says and presses the larger ring into his shaking hands. Dean mutters an honest thanks, smacking a gentle kiss on her forehead, before sprinting over the lawn.

“Hey Cas, can we talk for a moment?”

“You’re not dragging me into a closet again, are you?” Castiel laughs, but willingly follows his boyfriend a few feet away from the crowd.

“If I remember correctly, you rather enjoyed that…,” Dean counters with a grin, before kissing the angel gently. Cas is still smiling against his lips, and Dean pulls away with a deep breath.

“I have an idea…well, actually Claire had the idea, but I think it’s kinda awesome. And since everyone we love is already here, it would just be such a good opportunity and…”

“Dean,” Cas simply says, putting a stop to Dean’s blabbering.

“Will you marry me? Tonight? I know, you actually deserve a much better proposal and a wedding that doesn’t take place in flannel, but I love you so very very much”

Dean’s stammered words are silenced by a loving kiss. When they pull apart, Cas is smiling brighter than the sun.

“I’ve adored you ever since the moment I touched your soul in hell, of course, I’ll marry you”

The biggest smile flashes over Dean’s face, and Cas returns it just as much. A moment later, a loud shout draws their attention over to the cabin, where Claire is cheering in a way, that reminds them far too much of Dean. And when they tell everyone else, the mood just keeps going up.

It’s not a traditional wedding, but then again, their whole lives aren’t exactly normal. Jack insists on being the flower girl, even though Dean and Sam try their best to correct it to “flower-boy”. The music comes from a beaten-up boombox, which plays “November Rain” on repeat and the couple agrees not to exchange vows, deciding to wait with them until they can talk privately.

Dean’s hands shake when he slips the ring onto Castiel’s finger. It’s only now that he realizes they only got one ring, but before Dean can freak out, the angel pulls another golden band from his pocket.

“Where did you get that ring from?” Dean asks, and Cas casts a glance over to Jody, who is currently trying to stop crying. They barely knew her husband, and sometimes Dean still feels a pinch of guilt they couldn’t save him. The ring, he knows, is not only a final peace offering but an official invitation to the family. Dean shoots her a thankful smile, and she just nods in return.

“Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” Claire announces from the front, but the crowd remains luckily silent.

“We’ve been waiting for ages, no way we’re going to object now,” Sam shoots from the side, making everybody laugh. If Dean wasn’t close to bawling his eyes out, he’d probably throw a witty remark at his brother.

“Well then,” Claire says, clearly holding tears back herself. “I shall pronounce you officially hitched!”

Everyone cheers when Cas pulls Dean in a kiss, marking the beginning of a new chapter. The rest of the evening passes in a blur: they dance, they sing, Sam proposes to Eileen, Claire and Kaia finally get together, and Dean and Cas once again find themselves fooling around in a closet. But it’s perfect in every way.

Not every family contains of two parents and a bunch of kids. For them, family contains of two washed-up hunters, their time-traveling mom, a badass Irish huntress, a fallen angel, the devil’s son, and dozens of other people they got to know over the years. Bobby once told Dean, family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either.

And as Dean watches his happy and fucked-up family, his hand tightly holding onto his husband, he just knows truer words were never spoken.

[magicmanias]

The Story of Creation

Episode 1 of Polaris

[per - uh - jee] (n). Astronomy. the point in the orbit of a heavenly body at which it is nearest to the earth.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: A fugitive out of time + interdimensional space travel + a love story. Always on the run, and while Loki might be able to escape the TVA, he always gravitates towards you. Not even bending the fabric of space and time itself can cut his heartstrings.  Occurs after the events of Endgame. Replaces Loki mini-series timeline.

Warnings: Blood, Death, Mild Violence

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: I'M BACK BABY! *cue sit-com cheers* I thought of this mess of a series, and I had to get back into writing, damn it. I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

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He did not think this through.

The fallen god grasped at the ground beneath him. He’s covered in ash and the air around him burns and freezes. He smelled smoke and fire and then blood and flesh. He pushed himself up off the metal floor. “Where the hell am I?”

A weak moan alerted him, and to his left, he found a man in his final seconds. The dying man lifted his arm weakly; his fingers shook. He rasped out a last cry for help at his prince before his hand fell and his soul was sent to Valhalla. Loki knew that man. He sold Blåveis and wildflowers at the edge of the market when he was a child. Why was he here… dying a warrior’s death?

“Our crew is made up of Asgardian families.” A transmission. “We have very few soldiers here. This is not a warcraft. I repeat this is not a warcraft.” Asgardian? This ship certainly wasn’t Asgardian... Why was this man sending a mayday call?

“Hear me and rejoice…”

The bodies around him were all Asgardians. Soldiers and men laid lifeless in this iron room—on this ship that was not a warcraft. Surely Thor wouldn’t let this happen… Nor Odin. How did this happen?

He was no less confused when he heard his brother speaking on the other side of a large crack in the metal wall. On the level below him stood his brother trapped in steel and strange beings he’d never encountered. One was tall with a gauntlet of gold like the one Odin kept locked away in his vault. He was collecting Infinity Stones… Behind him was a thin and sinister figure. And another was… himself. With the tesseract. Like the one that was… where was it?

“Loki?” A woman watched him from behind a fallen support beam. In her hands was the Tesseract. Her lip curled downward and her brow wrinkled in confusion. “Why do you have this?”

“Who are you?” Alright, so she knew his name, and he clearly didn’t know her. Her clothes were not of Asgard. The dress was revealing and unfitted to her, the straps her too long, making the neckline only slip further. Even as she watched him carefully, she still absentmindedly pulled up the straps.

“Wha—”

A scream from below interrupted the woman. She ran to the edge of the room and peered through the wall. Loki could not see what was happening, but the horror in the woman’s eyes said enough.

“Oh Valhalla...” Her hand clamped over her mouth. Loki slowly approached the source of the screams before he heard his own voice.

“ALL RIGHT, STOP!!” The woman gasped and stepped back, turning to face him. Her eyes watered and her bottom lip trembled. She turned back to him.

“Who are you?” she demanded, though her voice wavered. “Are you one of them?”

Loki scoffed. “I haven’t the slightest ide—”

“Why do you look like him?” she cut him off. “You’re not Loki,” she insisted.

Loki chuckled nervously, but he flashed a charming smile and lifted his hands hoping to appear non-threatening. He started to approach her, trying to figure out a way to get the Tesseract back.

“Don’t come any closer! I will—use this!” she warned, holding the cube in between the two of them.

“Do you even know how to use that?”

“Um—well, do you?”

“I got here with that thing, didn’t I? Now give it back.” He stretched his hand out to her, but she didn’t move a muscle.

“No, I—”

Loki had enough. He wanted answers. Now. The woman gasped as he disappeared and reappeared in front of her in a flash of green, the cube now in his hand and her arm in his other. “Tell me where I am.”

She stared at his grip on her. “You’re not my Loki…” she inquired once more.

A daunting whir of hums and struggles came from the crack. The woman peered back at the scene below. Thor’s muffled cry filled the walls of the iron room, but it was the woman’s scream that shook Loki to his core. She fell to the floor and wailed and howled in agony. A weak “no” and soft pleas escaped her tears.

Loki glanced through the hole as the woman started to gulp air between her sobs. His lifeless body was strewn on the floor, and a purple haze shrouded his view of the scene below. Amethyst flames began to surround the ship. Metal and dead men were enveloped in the blaze. Loki never liked the heat…

It appeared that Loki’s time here… wherever he was, was about to come to an end. Blue light encased his fingertips and the cube materialized before him. A sharp choking sound clouded out Loki’s attempts to think of anywhere he could go—the woman.

“Shit…” Using his free arm, Loki pulled the woman up before she could protest. “This better work.” He lifted the Tesseract and prayed the silvery clouds encasing him and his new acquaintance would take him anywhere better than here.

Loki sat up covered in sand. Again, more heat. He was really starting to think this damned cube was more a curse than a blessing.

“Oh… ow…” The woman groaned and rubbed her puffy eyes. Squinting under the desert sun, she glanced around to view her surroundings before her eyes widened in realization. “Oh shit!” Her hands returned to the ground, burying themselves in the sand frantically.

She whipped around in a haze of anger and hysteria. “Take me back!” she screamed to him. “Take me back!”

“What the hell are you talking about!? That ship is gone—and I just saved your life!” Loki argued, but she wasn’t listening and continued to dig through the sand. Loki ignored her as he concealed the cube under his magic. He looked back up to see the woman still clawing at the sand. “Who are you?”

“Take… Take me back,” she begged, slowly giving up on the sand. “I have to go back.”

Loki watched the woman break into sobs once again. His grip on the dagger up his sleeve softened and his gaze relaxed. “Who are you?” he asked once more.

“Is this some cruel trick you played Loki? Because it’s horribly unfunny!”

“I assure you that I don’t have the slightest clue as to what you’re referring. That… Loki. He wasn’t me.” Where did this damn thing take him?

“I don’t believe you. You… Out of all the things you’ve done Loki. Lying, stealing, killing, faking your death. I’m… I can’t take it! You promised you wouldn’t—”

A flash of orange cut off the woman. The light shaped itself into a doorway above the dunes.

“What the hell—” Loki turned on his heel to face the orange portal in time to see four men step out two-by-two. Their tailored coats were labeled with “TVA” and Loki’s stomach immediately dropped. “Shit.”

One of the men in the back handed the forefront man a clipboard from which he read off, “Mister Laufeyson and… friend. The TVA requests your presence at headquarters. You are under arrest for meddling in with the fabric of space-time. Please be compliant and come with us. Your friend can come if she’d like.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Loki insisted. “If you don’t mind, I would hate to have all this trouble I’ve been through go to waste. Thank you. Bye!” Just as he was about to pull out the Tesseract, one of the men suddenly appeared in front of him and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Loki threw a dagger at the man, hitting him square in the chest. The man merely looked down at the weapon, no change in his expression. He grabbed onto the handle of the dagger and pulled it out. No blood, the wound already healed.

“Please comply, Mister Laufeyson. The TVA expects your arrival,” he said.

“I don’t think so.” Loki revealed the Tesseract with his magic, praying it would take him somewhere good for once. But as soon as he took it out, the handcuffs were tightened on his wrist. The emotionless man repeated his request for compliance.

The other men move then, making their way to the woman. She stands slowly and silently allows them to escort her to the portal. She refuses to meet Loki’s eyes as they both walk defeated to the portal.

“So he’s really not lying then,” she said quietly. Her hands dug into her skirts. Her hair covered half of her face, but anyone could make out the tears that lined her cheeks.

“No, I’m afraid not, Miss,” Mobius answered. “I regret to say your actual husband is gone.”

She pushed the desk and her metal chair screeched on the linoleum floor. Loki didn’t look up from his hands planted on his tan prisoner uniform pants as he listened to her distant footsteps and the sound of a closing door. He tugged at the cuffs on his wrists. He could feel the magic dampened in his veins. The muscles in his forearms felt dull.

“Loki,” Mobius started. “As you can see, the warrant for your arrest specifies that we will have to prosecute you. You’ve broken several laws, violating the guidelines of linear time travel as well as interdimensional voyaging. While our agents are currently fixing the mess you made, including sending that lovely woman back to Earth-200000, you will, of course, have to be sent back to Earth-199999 so that the course of events and play as they were supposed—”

“You’re going to kill her.”

“Excuse me?”

The door kicked open again. Another agent in a clean suit marched in with a glass plate in hand with a sandwich laying on top. He placed the sandwich on the desk and left as quickly as he came in. “The woman. There’s nothing to send her back to. The ship she was on was destroyed before I saved her. You’re not sending her back. You’re going to kill her.”

Mobius leaned forward on his desk, clasping his hands. “We’re simply sending her back straight back to the time and place she left. If that happens to lead to her death, so be it. That’s her fate.” He paused to rest his head on his hands. “What do you care anyway? You don’t know her.

Loki hesitates to answer. No, he didn’t know her, but… he can’t stop thinking about how she reacted when… he died. The he that she married. Devoted herself to. She looked… dead inside. Hollow. Did she feel as he did when he fell from the Rainbow Bridge all those years ago? Was he looking at her the way Thor did when he let go?

“Are you going to eat that by the way?” Mobius pointed to the sandwich. “That’s technically for you, but I skipped lunch.” He didn’t wait for Loki’s answer before bending over the desk and taking the sandwich before taking a large bite out of the corner. Loki leaned back in his seat.

“If she was my wife in another dimension, I can’t help but be curious. Perhaps I’d enjoy her company.” Loki tilted his head. The gears turned in his head. He needed to figure out a way to escape. The TVA took the Tesseract from him, and he wasn’t keen on making an exit in prisoner attire.

“I didn’t know you had a thing for widows.”

“Well, I can’t say it’s never crossed my mind,” Loki smirked.

Mobius chuckled and took another bite of the sandwich. “Sadly, we’ll never know how that would work out. An agent will escort you to your holding cell until further notice.” An agent waited for Loki to stand and directed him towards the exit. “Oh, and thank you for your compliance.”

The TVA looked awfully like Midgard, perhaps from some decades ago. The architecture was garish, and the employees were... disconcerting. Each bred and born for a specific purpose. His… Odin once told him about the Time Variance Authority. Existing in an infinite dominion between worlds, a bureaucracy that rules the operations of time across the multiverse. Workers are cloned to working perfecting. Minimize disputes, increase efficiency.

The agent guided him down another long hall with identical doors lining the walls, opening and closing as countless numbers of agents entered and exited them. Loki glanced to his left. An agent walked through the door… to a jungle on the other side. To his right, a female agent exited a metropolis with flying vehicles. Another escorted a Krylorian to a portal leading to a crashing ocean. The chains between his limbs clinked as he strolled down the hall that never seemed to end.

“Thank you. I… think I’m ready now.” You stood in front of a closed door, holding the hand of an agent. He nodded and you dropped his hand. He opened the door, silently motioning her towards the shipwreck that Loki had rescued you from a mere couple of hours ago.

Loki muttered your name.

“Oh, uh hello.” You shifted uncomfortably. “I have to say. I think you look better in green.”

Loki smiled softly. “I think this attire might be worse than my actual punishment.”

You chuckled in return. “At least I can die in dignity in my own clothing.”

Loki was taken aback. “You’re not serious?” Loki again noticed the state of your appearance. Eyes flushed and puffy and red. Your bottom lip was swollen as you continued to chew on it.

“I am.” He said your name once more, like he was in disbelief that you would be so willing to give up your life like this. He reminded you so much of the man you married. Always the survivalist. It was strange to see the face of the love of your life standing before you even though it wasn’t really him. Some part of you wished your husband was the one standing before you, but there stood a slightly younger version of the god that you would have given your life for... in the flesh. “I hate to end our new friendship on such a bad note, but you do age quite a bit in the next few years. Try to sleep more, my dear Loki.”

The god scoffed and turned his head. “I’m not letting you just… kill yourself.”

“I’m just taking a page from your book.” You swallowed, a frown evident on your lips. “I assume you did the same as my Loki after Thor destroyed the Rainbow Bridge.” You turned and looked at the scene of the broken ship floating in the cosmos. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that… Take care of yourself, Loki.”

Loki grasped your wrist before you could walk through causing the cuffs to pull his other arm up. The agent behind Loki tapped his shoulder, insisting that they needed to move on, but he ignored his probes.

“I’m not letting you walk through that door.”

“My husband is dead.” There was an insistence in your voice that you seldom used, and yet your breath quivered. The tip of your nose was cold. The tears welled up in your eyes once more, but you sighed and wiped your eyes. “It’s okay,” you whispered. “I want to be with him. Let me go, Loki.”

The agent now placed a firm hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Mr. Laufeyson. It’s time to go.”

Loki turned back around, a devilish grin lining his lips. “Yes, I believe it is.”

In a trice, the agent behind Loki was on the floor and the one guiding you was on the other side of the door, floating in the ship debris where you were supposed to be. The raucous alerted the other agents in the hall who turned their heads in the direction of the noise. They began to make their way towards you. Loki acted quickly, lifting his cuffed hands above your head and looping his arm around your waist, pulling you to the other side of the hall.

“Are you ready?” he asked, backing up slightly like he was readying himself for a leap. Loki didn’t wait for your answer and ran straight towards the open door across from him. You saw a small glimpse of a grassy field before hitting solid ground.

“Why did you do that!?” You whipped your head up, your hair strewn about your face in a wild mess. Your ill-fitting clothes were now caked in dirt and grass stains. You stood on a hill overlooking a… rather familiar landscape.

“I saved your life. Again!” He pointed an accusatory finger at you, but the effort was lost with his bound hands. He grunted in frustration.

“I-I wanted to go. I didn’t want to be saved!”

Loki took in a hot breath. “You wouldn’t have seen him anyway. Valhalla is a heaven for warriors and your valiant death wouldn’t have given you an in.”

That you laughed at, if not bitterly. “You always said you’d go to Hel. I intended on seeing you there.”

“I am not your husband,” Loki spat, venom lining his words.

“No! You’re not. Yet you’ve kept me from him,” you said matching the malice in his voice.

Two voices interrupted your argument.

“Goddess, you will ruin me one day.” A young boy with inky hair ran up on the other side of the hill, holding a posy of flowers. He looked down the hill and knelt down, reaching his hand out. An equally tiny hand held onto his hand, letting him pull up. A girl pushed up and sat on the peak of the hill. He awkwardly shoved the flowers in her hands, like he’d been holding them for her when they climbed up the mound of dirt and grass.

“My mother says you’re dangerous, Trickster,” the girl taunted, reorganizing the flowers in a prettier arrangement. “Like the Midgard Serpent. You’ll strike when we least expect it.”

“Perhaps I’ll marry you. Your mother surely wouldn’t expect that,” the boy smirked. The girl pretended to attack her friend, attempting to make him jump. She wasn’t strong enough to knock him down though, and he snickered. He pushed her playfully, but she slipped and rolled down the hill, giggling the entire way down. The boy hopped down, rolling and laughing along with her.

“Oh Valhalla…” You paled.

“What?” Loki prodded. Watching the children at the bottom of the hill.

“We have to hide. Now.”

Loki was about to prompt her for an explanation, but the little girl’s playful wail answered his questions instantly.

“Loki!”

[mischiefandspirits]

Doppelgänger (15/19)

Previously on Doppelgänger ~ Masterlist ~ Next time on Doppelgänger

Danny, Sam, and Tucker were just 14 when they took a look inside the portal Danny’s parents had built. From there, everything changed. They woke up with white hair, green skin, and powers they could learn to control. They were hybrids, halfas.

They were the hero Doppelgänger.

{Doctor's Disorders}

“Ugh, what is that smell?” Danny asked as he and Valerie approached Tucker.

“This,” Tucker held up a spray can. “It’s my new all-over body spray. I made it myself, I call it Foley by Tucker Foley. It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet, manly scent that smells different to everyone who sniffs it.”

Their noses scrunched up as Tucker started spraying himself.

“Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie.”

“By choice. The ladies will be swarming all over me.”

“Doubtful,” Valerie snorted. “You smell horrible.”

He pointed at her with the can. “You don’t count. You’re already dating Dan-”

The can slipped from his hand and clattered to the ground, spraying Valerie in the process.

She scowled as the smell of sports bra and sugar cookies washed over her. “You better hope this washes out,” she growled and shoved past him towards the locker room. Thankfully she had first period free so she could shower and drown her clothes in perfume. It didn’t completely help, but it was better. Maybe she should consider keeping a spare set of clothes in her locker. It’d help for the times she tears her clothes in a fight.

“Anyone in here?” Tetslaff called just as she finished fixing her hair.

“I’m here,” she said, tossing her mini curling iron into her locker. She grabbed her bag and walked towards the door to see Tetslaff eyeing her.

“You feeling okay, Gray? Any bug bites?”

“No. I’m fine. Why?”

“All students need to report to the gym. Anyone else here?”

She shook her head. “Bailey was in here, but she left a few minutes ago.

The PE teacher nodded and escorted her to the gym. She was surprised to see the entire student body either sitting or laying on the floor and bleachers, most of whom were glowing. The teachers were hovering over everyone as a man in a doctor’s uniform drifted through, occasionally stopping to talk to the students.

When he saw her, he came over. “And who do we have here?”

“Valerie Gray, what’s going on?”

“What symptoms is she showing?” he asked Tetslaff, ignoring Valerie’s question.

“None as far as I’ve seen,” she grunted and the doctor frowned behind his mask.

“Interesting. She’s the fourth one. Sit her with the others.” He gestured to the corner and Valerie smiled to see Danny, Sam, and Tucker waiting there.

They looked surprised when she joined them and Danny pulled her into a hug. “You okay?”

“Other than still smelling a little awful, I’m perfect. What’s going on?” she asked, pulling back but staying pressed into his side.

Sam gestured to the other students. “Some sort of ghost bug, literally. A whole swarm attacked the school and started phasing into people, resulting in that. You didn’t notice?”

“I’ve been in the showers.” She sent Tucker a look and he ducked behind Sam. “None of you got the bug?”

They shook their heads and Danny pointed off to the side, “Jazz did though.”

Valerie looked over to see Danny’s sister curled up on a mat, her body fuzzy at the edges. “Well, there goes the idea that prolonged exposure to ghost hunting equipment is what’s protecting us. Are your parents doing anything?”

Danny shrugged. “We’ve been in here the whole time. The doctor said he wanted us close since we’re the only ones showing signs of immunity. And they took our phones so I can’t call my parents.”

She smirked and took out her phone. “Looks like they forgot to take mine.”

Danny took it and the three crowded around him to keep him from sight.

“Do your parents have something that could fix this?” Sam asked as Danny dialed.

He thought about it for a second then smiled. “Mom, Dad… Yeah, I’m okay… Really? That’s weird. Why wouldn’t they tell you anything? Nevermind, I’ll explain everything, but can you guys grab the Ghost Catcher before you leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is it just me or does Dr. Rand look really mad that his patients are being cured?” Valerie hummed.

Said doctor was currently standing off to the side as the teachers lead students through the ghost catcher, Danny’s parents sucking up the ghost bugs as they were pulled out.

Jazz took in his scowl with a frown. “Maybe it’s a pride thing? He was pretty much useless.”

“Or maybe he was part of a government conspiracy to experiment on us while we possessed ghost abilities,” Sam suggested.

“Sounds like something the Guys in White would do,” Danny muttered sleepily from his spot in Valerie’s lap.

“He’s a doctor. All doctors are evil,” Tucker agreed.

“What’s his problem?” Valerie whispered to her boyfriend.

“He’s afraid of doctors, nurses, hospitals, so on.”

“What’d you say his name was again?” Jazz asked, still staring at the man.

“Dr. Bert Rand.”

“Bertrand? Like Ms. Spectra’s gh-assistant?” Jazz stuttered.

The trio turned to her, then groaned, “Oh my god, we’re idiots.”

Valerie frowned as their voices nudged at her, but pushed it aside as Jazz asked, “What?”

“Spectra was a ghost, same for Bertrand. They must be behind the attack on the school,” Sam explained.

Valerie narrowed her eyes and moved Danny off of her. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

Jazz bit her lip as the girl left, then nudged Danny. “You three should go too. You, uh, don’t know when you might get another chance.”

They frowned, but agreed quickly and left.

Jazz smiled and leaned back. Those three could take care of the ghosts. Now she just needed an excuse for when Valerie got back.

{Pirate Radio}

Jazz sighed as she relaxed on her blanket, only to frown when someone started messing with the radio.

She sat up to glare at Tucker. “Knock it off!”

He held up his hands and backed up.

“Come on, Jazz. This music bites,” Danny said. “It’s our turn to pick something to listen to.”

“I like it. It relaxes me.”

“Well, we do outnumber you four to one,” Valerie pointed out.

Jazz grabbed the radio and held it close to her, scowling at the younger teens that she had joined on the Ops Center for stargazing.

Just then, the ground began to rumble and a pirate ship of all things burst intangibly out of the street.

Jazz jumped to her feet and gestured her brother back. “Danny, you, Sam, and Tucker need to go. Uh, go get our parents. Downstairs. Out of view.”

“R-right, we’ll go get them,” Tucker said and the trio ran off.

“I thought your parents were out,” Valerie said.

“Oops, I forgot.” Jazz turned to the girl and was surprised to see her pulling a ghost pistol out of her bag.

The girl froze. “Oh, uh, Danny gave it to me. For, you know, protection?”

As cute as it was that Danny was so worried about his girlfriend, Jazz would have to talk to him about handing out weapons of all things.

“Got anything else in there?”

Valerie tossed her a thermos just as a group of pirate ghosts landed on the Ops Center. The two girls went to work blasting and sucking up ghosts. Jazz saw a pair heading for the shield and pointed them out to Valerie, but Danny or one of his partners cut them off. She turned back to the main group of pirates and smiled when she saw the other two flying through the air.

She frowned when they seemed to fire on nothing. “What are they doing?”

Valerie looked up, then gave her an incredulous look. “Fighting the ghost captain.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“Weird,” she shot a headless pirate and Jazz sucked him in. “Can you hear him?”

“No.”

“Lucky you. He’s a brat. Maybe eight or nine years… Okay, so he’s eleven. Like that makes a big difference,” she snorted. Then her eyes widened and she barrelled into Jazz.

Something exploded behind them.

“You’ve never babysat, have you? Jazz asked as they picked themselves up. “Kids don’t like to be told they’re younger than they think they are.”

“I’ve only babysat actual babies. They don’t talk back,” Valerie said.

The ghost ship flickered then disappeared.

“What happened?”

“Doppelgänger caught the brat.”

The sound of a guitar-strumming echoed around them and two of Danny’s trio slammed into the ground in front of the girls.

“Ember’s back,” they said, rubbing their heads. “You guys might want to either get inside or put on Specter Deflectors before you get hypnotized.”

“M. Bersback? The guy who gave us that awful Vapor Drone? He’s a ghost?” Valerie asked.

They stared at her blankly, then one threw their hands in the air. “Oh come on! That's not a clue. That's a billboard! We really got to start paying more attention to these things!”

{Reign Storm, Part 1}

“Did you get the book report done?” Valerie asked as she passed Danny a water bottle.

“Mm-hm.” He took the bottle and tried to drink it.

“Lid Danny,” she chuckled.

He scowled and took the lid off. “I think you beat the ghost out of me.”

“Then I did my job,” she chuckled. “Seriously though, you’re doing really good.”

“Can I have my black belt then?”

“Not quite. Now come on, we’ve still got fifteen minutes before we need to clean up.”

He groaned, but pushed himself to his feet and followed her over to the wrestling mat. Jazz had somehow talked Tobias, the wrestling coach, into letting them use it for their sparring in the morning after Tuesday’s practice in return for cleaning up after. It was a lot better than sparring at home, even if it did mean getting up way too early.

Of course, being at school meant there were sometimes distractions.

“Think fast, Fentoni!”

Danny turned just as Valerie caught the football that was headed for him.

“Unless you’re here to spar, then get lost, Dash,” she huffed, tossing the ball to Kwan.

“Spar with Fenton?” Dash laughed and Kwan joined in.

“You’d snap him in half before he could even throw his first punch!”

“I thought I said to get lost,” Valerie growled stepping between them and Danny.

Dash leered at him. “You gonna let a girl fight your battles.”

Danny raised an eyebrow as Valerie stiffened. “Now you f-ed up.”

“And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean, Baxter?” she asked, cracking her knuckles.

Kwan grabbed Dash’s shoulder and whispered something that made Dash pale.

“J-just that Fenton’s too weak to fight his own battles, he has to rely on his girlfriend to do it for him. I did-din’t mean, you know, that a girl couldn’t kick butt.”

“Nice save,” Danny said and Dash gave him a death glare.

“Leave,” Valerie said.

They did.

“I’m definitely going to pay for that later,” Danny chuckled as he got into position on the mat.

“If you’re not going to fight back then stop antagonizing him,” she said.

“I’ve considered fighting back.”

“Then why don’t you.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t met Sidney Poindexter, then.”

“Who?”

“He’s the ghost who haunts my locker. He gets huffy with me if I try to get back at Dash. I was putting my annoyingness to full use on Dash when we first met and Sidney is paranoid I’ll do it again. According to him, I’m just as much of a bully as Dash if I do and he hates bullies.”

“Need me to take care of him?”

“Nah, we’ve got a truce. He’s not too bad. I just can’t pull anything on Dash without risking a lecture from him. And he’s still learning modern slang so a lecture from him is even worse than one of Lancer’s hip and funky fresh talks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you guys know why Nathan’s been giving me evil eyes?” Danny asked as the trio walked home.

“He’s got a crush on Valerie. He’s ticked you and her are dating,” Tucker explained.

“He came up to me the other day and tried to tell me I needed to, Get your cheating boyfriend away from my Valerie! It took me fifteen minutes to get him to back off and I think he still believes you’re two-timing Valerie and I,” Sam said.

“We’re dating? Sam, why didn't you tell me? I'd have put my book down.”

Sam shoved him towards his stoop. “I want to break up. It’s not me, it’s you.”

“Okay, but I get Tucker in the divorce.”

Tucker shook his head and linked arms with Sam. “Sorry, Danny, but you knew I was a gold digger going into this.”

Sam shoved him away as well. “You can have him.”

“Changed my mind, he’s yours now.”

“You’re both awful,” Tucker fake whined and marched off.

“See you tomorrow,” the two yelled at his retreating back.

Danny turned to Sam. “Are you going to head out for patrol or do you want a snack first?”

“Depends, what’s the likelihood your food’s contaminated?”

“My mom and dad are partway through a new invention.”

“Pass.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” he called as she went to the nearest alleyway.

“Ectoplasm’s not a veggie,” she called back.

“Okay, fair,” he snorted and opened the door. “I’m home. Anything happen while -”

Danny cut off as he saw his family in the living room surrounding a certain fruit loop.

“Ah, hello, Daniel!”

“You!” he shouted, tossing his bag aside and marching up to the group. “What are you doing here?”

Some of his anger lifted as he saw his mom accidentally poor tea right onto Vlad’s lap. “Totally valid question.”

“Still steaming?” Vlad asked in his creepy stalker voice.

“You have no idea,” she growled.

Vlad turned his attention to Danny. “I was just, you know, passing through. And then I saw that marvelous battlesuit and thought, since I can't just destroy Jack and take it, I suppose I'll steal its secrets right out from under his nose!”

Danny’s fists clenched as Vlad met his dad’s eyes with a smile and the two started laughing.

“Oh I swear, I am such a josher,” he held his cup up to Danny’s mom. “More tea please.”

She poured it on his head.

“Not there! Ooh!”

Danny’s mom stomped off and his dad followed.

“I don't know what you're up to, Plasmius,” Danny started in a whisper, then blinked. “Actually, I do. You just told me.”

“That’s right! And say a word and I'll share your secret with your little friend.”

Danny stared at him blankly. “What friend?”

“Miss Gray.”

“How do you even -”

Danny was cut off when an alarm sounded through the house. His dad ran back into the room and hit a hidden button to bring up a radar system.

“Galloping goblets, it's the Ecto-Exodus Alarm!”

“The Ecto-whaty-what?” Jazz and Danny asked.

“The Ecto-Exodus Alarm! An alarm that only goes off when we're about to face a massive ghost invasion!”

Danny faked reaching into his pocket so he could grab the Fenton Phones out of his Space Fold. “I need to make a call!”

He felt Vlad’s eyes on his back as he ran upstairs, but ignored them.

“Sam, Tucker, please tell me one of you can hear me?” he said into the phones and through their link as he shut his door.

“What’s wrong?” Sam said.

“Ghost invasion. Big one. Coming right at us,” Danny said and transformed. “We need to get back here right now.”

Danny’s ghost sense went off.

“Too late.”

Danny flew out of the house as ghosts came pouring out of the portal and onto the street. His eyes landed on Johnny and Kitty and he flew towards them.

“Hey Thirteen, what’s going on?” he asked as he came level with the bike.

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Kitty said, turning to him. “Pariah Dark’s back.”

“Who?”

“If you don’t know, we’re not going to tell you,” Johnny snorted.

“Come on. We’ve been letting you mostly run wild as long as you don’t hurt anyone or destroy anything. Can’t you just tell us?”

Johnny growled and stopped the bike. “Look, we don’t know too much. He’s way, way before our time. All we know is that he’s called the King of All Ghosts and someone woke him up. Now he’s trashing the zone and looking for some ring that will give him ultimate power or something when paired with his crown. He’s powerful so everyone’s getting while the gettin’s good. Speaking of which.”

Johnny took off, but Danny didn’t bother to chase him. Instead, he turned to Sam as she joined him.

“This is bad. No kidding.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucker flinched as his ghost sense went off for the fifteenth time. Where were all these ghosts coming from? He hoped he got into range of the mind link soon. Sam at least should be transformed so he should be getting close. Why did he have to choose today of all days to visit the gaming shop in Elmerton?

Someone blasted him and he groaned. He’d wanted to regroup with his partners before picking any fights. He turned to his opponent and groaned again. “What are you doing in town, fruit loop?”

“Haven’t we already been through this, Daniel?” Vlad asked flying closer and Tucker rolled his eyes.

So Danny or Sam have talked to him then. He hoped they were okay. “Refresh our memory.” Goosebumps swept over him and he gestured towards the ghost. “Are you the reason all these ghosts are around?”

“I’m flattered you think I could organize all this.”

“You’re right. We forgot you put everything into intelligence and strength. No way you could convince all these ghosts to listen with your charisma being a dump stat,” Tucker said, nodding. “Our bad.”

Vlad looked confused for a moment, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not here to play games, Daniel.”

“Then you’ve got the wrong half-ghost.” If he didn’t want jokes, he should have gone with Sam.

Vlad scowled at him, then he was being grabbed from behind. He looked up to see another Vlad holding him. The older halfa pinned one of his arms behind his back and held the other out to the first Vlad.

“Let go of us, creep!”

“Calm down, Daniel. I’m not going to hurt you,” Vlad one said, flying closer and grabbing his wrist. “I simply need you to hold onto something for me.”

“And why would we ever help you?”

Vlad one disconnected his glove from the hazmat and pulled it off, revealing green skin and black nails.

Wow, Sam would like those.

“Because this is a powerful relic,” Vlad two explained as Vlad one slipped a green and black ring onto Tucker’s middle finger. “One which I’m sure you’d want to keep safe and out of the hands of dangerous ghosts.”

“Like you?”

Vlad one smirked and replaced his glove.

“If it’s so powerful, why would you give it up?” Tucker asked as the Vlads let him go and merged together.

“That is for you to discover on your own. Ta!” He teleported away.

“We need to get a restraining order or something,” Tucker muttered, rubbing his shoulder. He glanced down at his hand uncertainly. Vlad could certainly have been lying, but if he wasn’t, Tucker couldn’t just toss the ring and risk it ending up in the wrong hands.

With a sigh, he continued on his way. The trio could figure this out together. Thankfully he only had to fly for a few minutes before his mind connected to Sam and Danny.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

stephanie perkins: ‘anna and the french kiss’

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Then again, if you’ve read any YA book, ever, it’s fairly obvious what’s going to happen.

I was going to go easy on this book; I really was. It’s really unfair how media aimed at a female demographic is seen as frivolous and vapid, and more often than not bashed and bullied when it comes to reviews. “People actually enjoy this crap?” ask the powers that be. “It’s worthless! Pulp! Dreamy-eyed nonsense only complete nimrods could ever like!”

And I take offense to that. There’s nothing wrong with liking romance or happy endings or stories about cute European boys. I was ecstatic when I stumbled across Anna and the French Kiss upon a chance trip to the bookstore. The cover was… meh (Century Gothic? Really? There were no other fonts?). But I’d heard nothing but praise about the book, and I was prepared to stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning to finish it.

Admittedly, I was far from impressed upon the first reading. The characters were unlikable, the plot would’ve worked better for less shitty characters, honestly fuck these characters am I supposed to like them, fuck Anna, fuck Étienne, fuck Bridgette, fuck Toph, fuck Dave and Meredith and Amanda and Seany and every other stupid character in this stupid book.

The second time around, I expected to not hate it as much as I did when I first read it. It’s happened- I hated Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda when I first read it, and when I read it again, all that red-hot anger simmered down into an overall dislike. I thought To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was trash at first, and then I read it again, and it got promoted to recyclable waste matter.

I found Anna and the French Kiss horrendous the first time I read it, and then I read it again, and… yeah, it’s still pretty awful.

Le Sommaire:

Anna Oliphant is a seventeen-year-old wannabe film critic who is #NotLikeOtherGirls – so she’s exactly like every other female YA lead. To her credit, she never explicitly says she’s special… everyone around her does.

She has a pretty meh life in Atlanta, Georgia with her mum and little bruv Sean- and then her dad decides to ship her off to France for her final year of high school. I’m not judging Anna for bawling her eyes out on her first day; I’m a huge mummy’s girl myself and I’d probably (definitely) do the same.

Meredith is Anna’s next-door neighbor, who does that thing which only happens in YA where she’s like “Oh, newbie? Let’s be friends!” (Or maybe it does happen irl and I tend to make a bad first impression which is why no one has ever approached me.)

Meredith’s friends are: Rashmi and Josh (who are a couple), and Étienne St. Clair. Guess which one is the love interest.

Étienne is cultured in that white person way where he’s half American, one quarter French and one quarter British. A true international.

But- *gasp*- American-British-French boy has a girlfriend, Ellie.

Anna has an absolutely gorgeous punk rocker (yum) boy with sideburns (yikes) back home named Christopher. Also, Christopher’s nickname is ‘Toph’ instead of ‘Chris’ because he too is #NotLikeOtherGirls. Anna tells us that nothing will happen between her and Étienne.

Anna is wrong.

Meredith has a crush on Étienne. So does the Regina George of the school, Amanda.

Étienne and Anna have some moments ™.

♫ Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but Anna ♫

I tear my hair out in frustration.

Several other white boys vie for Anna’s heart. Anna remains blissfully unaware (♫ that’s what makes you beautiful ♫). Étienne (who is still dating Ellie, mind you) is unreasonably agitated by this.

Étienne’s mum has cancer btw, which excuses all the shitty things he does, because he’s just a poor, misunderstood boy.

Ellie dresses up as a, quote unquote, ‘slutty nurse’ for Hallowe’en, though- so it’s perfectly okay to dislike her (even though, in the first interaction she had with Anna, where Ellie meets Anna and Étienne, after Étienne takes Anna to the movies, Ellie is perfectly sweet).

Anna, however, is NOT a slut. Amanda is, though. And Rashmi’s cold. And Meredith’s desperate. And Emily’s a slut, too. And her friend Bridgette from Atlanta is a traitor. Anna has an intense case of internalized misogyny.

Anna’s friend Bridgette from Atlanta is screwing Toph, and Anna throws a fit.

Étienne and Anna have some more moments ™.

A truly chaotic series of events befall Anna. She somehow winds up dating Dave (one from the harem of white boys who likes her) to spite Étienne, she gets into a fight with Amanda, more drama ensues, there’s a hint for a spinoff, Étienne and her kiss, Meredith sees and feels betrayed… several misunderstandings and more bullshit later, Étienne and Anna wind up together, because true love conquers all.

Mes Réflexions:

(If the French is off, blame Google Translate.)

Usually, it takes me half a page of my notebook to scribble down my thoughts about the book I’m reading. This motherfucker took me almost an entire page.

Granted, a solid 30% of those notes are me throwing insults at Étienne, but still. ‘STOP STOP STOP YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YOU DICK’ counts, right?

(That was #17 in my notes, by the way.)

For the record, I like Stephanie Perkins’s writing. It’s not as over-the-top and unnecessarily introspective as Jenny Han’s in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and the interactions between Anna and her classmates were natural and not the “How do you do, fellow kids?” style of Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. The pacing is decent- I didn’t feel like it was too rushed; not the insta-love trope most YA romances unfortunately fall prey to.

And yet. AND YET.

Anna: “What’s your problem?” Amanda: “You.”

Same, Amanda, same.

Anna Oliphant is one of my least favorite leads in a book, ever. Étienne’s even shittier. And it’s not like Nick or Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, or any of the main characters from The Secret History, where readers pretty much unanimously hate them. You’re meant to relate to Anna, you’re meant to find Étienne charming and dreamy. I literally had to put the book away and calm myself down several times- especially in the last quarter of the book.

One of my main gripes with Anna is how… dumb she is. I guess Anna’s “Oopsies, silly me, I don’t know French!” is meant to be relatable to the readers. And some parts (like her not knowing how to order food because she can’t speak French) are plausible, but- sis, you didn’t know how to spell oui? And my idea of a cinematic masterpiece is Kung-Fu Panda, but even a dumbass like me knows that France is the film appreciation capital of the world. And yet Anna, a self-professed film freak, doesn’t?

Of course, Anna’s gorgeous, but she has no clue, because of course she doesn’t- even though she has multiple guys falling head over heels for her.

I’m in a short skirt. It’s the first time I’ve worn one here, but my birthday seems like the appropriate occasion. “Woo, Anna!” Rashmi fake-adjusts her glasses. “Why do you hide those things?”

Étienne is staring at my legs. The scales covering them throb under his intense gaze, and the pincers sticking out of my thighs start clicking rapidly in arousal. My hooves shiver in ecstasy.

… sorry, that’s not funny.

Her friends think Anna’s weird for wanting to write film reviews (which is the most contrived thing I’ve ever heard) instead of being the next Margot Robbie or whatever, but of course Étienne doesn’t and he thinks it’s not weird and cool and that Anna is such a special snowflake.

(Man, I sound like Amanda.)

And then we have this spiel by Anna about how she got into film critiquing (?), because we the readers need to know how special and #NotLikeOtherGirls Anna is.

To this, I say, “Piss off, you pretentious fuck.”

Of course, Anna’s a virgin and she’s never gotten drunk before or worn short skirts- she’s not a slut, she shaves below the knees only.

And would YA really be YA without several hearty helpings of internalized misogyny?

First up, we have the bimbo; the Barbie doll archetype whose only goal in life is acquiring the main guy (who is quite obviously uninterested in her), and making life hell for our protagonist. Amanda Whatsername (is she ever given a surname?) has this coveted role in Anna and the French Kiss. She’s blond (because of course she is); the first time we meet her, she’s in a, quote unquote, ‘teeny tank top’, and she also ‘positions herself for maximum cleavage exposure’. She’s always flipping her hair, getting her grubby paws on Étienne, giving Anna the stink-eye, being homophobic and a grade-A bitch.

Meredith goes batshit when Anna and Étienne kiss, and is very pouty and unhappy during prior Anna x Shittiene moments. Honey… he’s just not that into you. Rashmi’s the Ice Queen reincarnate and halfway to bitchdom. Anna doesn’t go as hard on them as she does on literally every other female her age in the book, though.

Rashmi looks at me for the first time, calculating whether or not I might fall in love with her own boyfriend.

Anna, hate to break it to you, but not everyone’s a possessive fucking weirdo.

About Cherrie, her ex-boyfriend Matt’s new girlfriend:

And maybe Cherrie isn’t as bad as I remember. Except she is. She totally is. After only five minutes in her company, I cannot fathom how Bridge stands sitting with her at lunch every day.

Her lifeless laugh is one of her lesser attributes. What does Matt see in her?

Even Bridgette, Anna’s best friend from Atlanta, isn’t immune to Anna’s anti-female propaganda. She’s screwing the guy Anna used to like, and Anna, the hypocrite, throws a huge fit.

For context: Bridgette and Toph are in a band called the Penny Dreadfuls (why is it with YA books and horrible band names? ‘Emoji’ from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda was bad enough), and Anna + Matt + Cherrie go to a bowling alley to see them perform. After the performance, Toph announces that he’s sleeping with Bridge, and Anna confronts Bridge… onstage.

“… You’re welcome to move in when I leave again, because that’s what you want, right? My life?”

She shakes with fury. “Go to hell.”

“Take my life. You can have it. Just watch out for the part where my BEST FRIEND SCREWS ME OVER!” I knock over a cymbal stand, and the brass hits the stage with an earsplitting crash that reverberates through the bowling alley. Matt calls my name. Has he been calling it this entire time? He grabs my arm and leads me around the electrical cords and plugs and onto the floor and away, away, away.

Everyone in the bowling alley is staring at me.

I duck my head so my hair covers my face. I’m crying. This would have never happened if I hadn’t given Toph her number. All of those late-night practices and… he said they’ve had sex! What if they’ve had it at my house? Does he come over when she’s watching Seany? Do they go in the bedroom?

I’m going to be sick.

Give me a goddamn break.

Anna, about Ellie:

To my amazement, Ellie breaks into an ear-to-ear smile. Oddly enough, it’s this moment I realize that despite her husky voice and Parisian attire, she’s sort of… plain. But friendly-looking.

That still doesn’t mean I like her.

“Anna! From Atlanta, right? Where’d you guys go?”

She knows who I am? St. Clair describes our evening while I contemplate this strange development. Did he tell her about me? Or was it Meredith? I hope it was him, but even if it was, it’s not like he said anything she found threatening. She doesn’t seem alarmed that I’ve spent the last three hours in the company of her very attractive boyfriend. Alone.

[about Ellie’s Hallowe’en costume] Slutty nurse. I don’t believe it. Tiny white button-up dress, red crosses across the nipples. Cleavage city.

If I didn’t like Ellie before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel now. It doesn’t matter that I can count how many times we’ve met on one hand.

I fantasize about their break-up. How he could hurt her, and she could hurt him, and all of the ways I could hurt her back. I want to grab her Parisian-styled hair and yank it so hard it rips from her skull. I want to sink my claws into her eyeballs and scrape.

It turns out I am not a nice person.

YOU DON’T FUCKING SAY.

Emily Middlestone bends over to pick up a dropped eraser, and Mike Reynard leers at her breasts. Gross. Too bad for him she’s interested in his best friend, Dave. The eraser drop was deliberate, but Dave is oblivious.

One of the juniors, a girl with dark hair and tight jeans, stretches in a move designed to show off her belly button ring to Paul/Pete. Oh, please.

And I’m meant to like this character? I’m supposed to root for her?

I’m not saying every girl in the book should be perfectly sweet and friendly- that’s just not realistic. But when Anna has something judgmental to say about every other young female character… maybe she’s the problem.

In fact, the only girl I recall getting a pass is Isla Whatsername. And why do you think?

Brilliant.

And now we have the amalgamation of almost every fanfic boyfriend trope from 2014, Étienne St. Clair. Brown-eyed Harry Styles. I can’t fucking wait.

Étienne could’ve discovered the cure for cancer, or abolished poverty, or volunteered at animal shelters in his spare time. He could’ve been the most virtuous guy around (fret not; he decidedly isn’t). And I still wouldn’t’ve thought of him as the man of my dreams because HE HAS A BLOODY GIRLFRIEND.

I mean, which girl doesn’t want her boyfriend to say:

“I cheated on her every day. In my mind, I thought of you in ways I shouldn’t have, again and again.”

Fuckin’ smooth, bro.

“No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was, I wouldn’t actually cheat on her. But I thought you’d know.”

Such a gentleman!

“So you can keep dating Ellie, but I can’t even talk to Dave?”

Étienne looks shamed. He stares at his boots. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t even know what to do with his apology.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. And this time, he’s looking at me. Begging me. “And I know it’s not fair to ask you, but I need more time. To sort things out.”

And this gem:

“If you liked me so much, why didn’t you break up with her?”

“I’ve been confused. I’ve been so stupid.”

*me, banging pots and pans together* F U C K Y O U

“Ellie’s not like you, Anna; she’s a slut and a whore even though I’m the one who’s been thinking about another girl inappropriately and I’m the one who gets my knickers in a twist when another man glances in your direction because my masculinity is extremely fragile and I’m a total hypocrite and a dickhead.”

I mean, he didn’t actually say that, but that’s the gist.

WHILE DATING ELLIE: he gets Anna a book of sexual love poems, he calls her attractive (“Any bloke with a working prick would be insane not to like you.”) multiple times, he gets jealous whenever another guy so much as breathes in Anna’s direction and constantly interrupts such interactions, he’s been ditching his friends for his girlfriend but suddenly decides he prefers a new girl over said girlfriend, he thinks bread pudding tastes good- in conclusion, he is a Massive Fucking Prick. Though in hindsight, him and Anna deserve each other. They’re awful.

I had loads more notes taken down (Anna using Dave; “The important thing is this: Dave is available. St. Clair is not.”); the implication that cheating is okay because Ellie is bad or whatever, even though the sudden change in her character seems contrived because she was perfectly okay with Étienne and Anna hanging out before; how my blood boils whenever I read an American book and American girls are like “oOoOh AcCenT!!!1!!1!!”; me reading “DAVE SAYS YER A SLUTBAG” in Hagrid’s voice; the sheer atrocity of the name ‘Étienne St. Clair’ (sounds like a caricature of a French person)… but this ‘review’ is already pushing 3k and I can’t be fucked to expand on any of those points.

Verdict (which is apparently the same in French):

Who needs Christopher when Étienne St. Clair is in the world?

Speak for yourself.

[kpophoneybunny]

Aurora (Chapter 7) - ATEEZ OT8 Pirate!AU

Genre: Adventure/Romance (Mostly fluff)

Rating: PG-13 (select chapters will have strong language, violence, and suggestive situations)

Disclaimer: Our main girl has a name but feel free to self-insert.

Tag List: (comment to be added or removed from the tag list). @unatempesta-dipensieri @sugarrimajins @masterninjacow

“You’re selfish. You knew you were putting her in danger. You should have stayed away.” Seonghwa muttered. “You care too much about her now! If you had just stayed away-!”

“If it wasn’t her, it would be Wooyoung.” The two stared at each other, as if their gaze alone could take the other down. “The curse takes me and the person closest to me by my twenty-first birthday.”

“That’s in three days.” Seonghwa gulped, looking at the calendar they had next to the map.

“Right. So you can keep antagonizing me or you can help me lift this curse. You used to want to help to save me but now… at least do it for her.”

“Fine. But where the hell do we find the damn amulet?”

“The map’s taking us to a mountain in Qing.” Yeosang kept his gaze straight ahead, grateful that it was a natural excuse to not have to look at Seonghwa. Sharing affections for the same woman was proving to be a much bigger obstacle for teamwork than they would have thought. “We’ll reach the port by sunrise. Hongjoong’s waking the crew. Go tell him.”

“We’ll find it, Yeosang.” Seonghwa sighed, starting to walk away. “We’ll get the amulet of tides. You won’t be cursed for much longer. That’s a promise.” He disappeared through a door to the lower decks.

“Since when did you two start being nice to each other again?” Jongho came up to the main deck with a large pot of stew tucked in one arm and some bowls in his free hand.

“Since Seonghwa realized that my curse will take Jangmi down with me...” Yeosang’s eyes flickered over to Jongho and he cracked a pained smile. “She has no clue what she walked into. Giving up her eye for me… she put herself in the line of fire.”

“What does that mean?” Jangmi was coming through the doors to the main deck, eyebrows furrowing. “Line of fire? Yeosang, do you have something you need to tell me?” She grabbed a bowl of stew and sat on a crate, watching Yeosang cautiously.

“Finish eating. We’ll talk later.” He moved to get a bowl of his own but Jangmi set her bowl down with a notable clatter, forcing him to look at her.

“We’ll talk now. No one’s told me about this curse. I gave my blood, my eye, for the map to that amulet. So tell me what’s the curse and why am I in the line of fire?” She stood, walking right up to Yeosang. Her face was centimeters from his but there wasn’t that sense of romantic tension they usually shared. She was livid, ready to start fighting people.

“I pissed off a witch back in Joseon. I asked too many questions and touched too many things. She said I deserved it since I broke a jar containing the rarest heart, whatever that means.” Yeosang was stalling, trying to think of how to tell her that she’d fall horribly ill and die within the next couple of days. “So she put a curse on me.”

“Great. I know why you’re cursed. But what’s the curse?” Her voice was icy and held a dangerous edge to it. She wasn’t in the mood for his games right now. Waking up to hear that she was in some sort of danger wasn’t what she wanted her day to start like. “Tell me before I twist Wooyoung’s arm to get it out of him. I know he’s your best friend. He probably knows all about-“

“I’m going to get sick - very sick, painfully sick- and then I’m going to die. And the person I care about the most… they’ll suffer the same fate as me. I have three days to lift the curse or we both die.” He couldn’t meet her eye, too afraid to see her reaction to the news that she would die.

But it seemed to go right over her head. She didn’t seem to register that she was going to die yet. “The person you care about the most? Isn’t Wooyoung your best friend? I still don’t see where I come in.”

“Wooyoung is my best friend, you’re right. But I already cared about you a lot and then you gave up your eye to help me, Jangmi. I didn’t hate myself because you went through pain. I see pain all the time. I even cause it when I have to…”

“I don’t understand. What are you saying?” Jangmi’s jaw clenched and she shut her eye, starting to grow dizzy from the information. It was too much.

“I hated myself because seeing you be so selfless made me fall in love with you. Wooyoung’s safe, Jangmi. You put yourself in the line of fire when you made me fall in love with you.”

“You’re not in love with me.” Jangmi’s breath hitched. “No! You’re infatuated. You don’t know me well enough to be in love.”

“But I do. You’re Min Jangmi, the eldest daughter of the Min family of Jeju. You sew, you paint, and you’re great with a sword. You put yourself in harm’s way over and over again to protect the members of this crew.” His eyes searched her face for a reaction, any reaction but she seemed stunned into stoicism. “You’re selfless and reckless and arrogant and incredibly kind. You’re curious and adventurous and you still haven’t figured out how to see with just one eye which is both hilarious and worrisome. You cry in your sleep because you miss home but you love the sea and you never want to go back to Jeju. You don’t care about ever getting to Pyeongyang and you still hate trousers because they aren’t as warm as all those layers of skirts you’re used to.” He held Jangmi by the shoulders,holding her at arm’s length so he could get a good look at her. “Stop me if I’ve gotten anything wrong.”

“You haven’t.” She looked down at their feet, eyebrows knitting together as she tried to put together the pieces and make everything make sense.

“I know you, Jangmi. We’ve been trapped in this ship together for weeks and I know you well enough now. I love you”

“Stop.” She squeezed her eye tighter, starting to squirm away from him.

“And that’s why you’re going to die if we don’t lift this curse. Because I love you.”

“Stop saying that!” She shoved his hands away from her shoulders and took off running, climbing the central mast and sitting in the crow’s nest. She only really sat up there when she needed a break. It was her way of asking to be left alone.

“That was a lot to take in.” Mingi sighed, grabbing a plate of stew and patting Yeosang’s back. “She’s going to need a while to calm down but she’ll come around. You’re a catch.”

“You broke her.” San gave a heavy sigh. “I can hear her crying from down here. Maybe Woo should climb up there and talk to her?”

“No.” Seonghwa shook his head. “Give her space. She just found out she’s going to die. She also just found out that you’re in love with her.” He faced Yeosang, expression stony. He was angry that Yeosang had confessed first. But seeing her reaction made him a bit less angry. “And despite our constant reminders that social class doesn’t exist on our ship, she’s still a noble woman at heart and you’re a navy man.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yeosang muttered, looking down at his stew.

“It means that she has a lot of new information to process. Give her space. Talking to her right now will just make her more upset.” Seonghwa shrugged, looking up towards her. “She doesn’t need our help right now.”

After another hour, they spotted Qing’s harbor, the port filled with life that could be seen from several miles out. “Now might be a good time to get her to come down.” Hongjoong walked over to the railing, polishing his sword. “Yunho, go get her.” Yunho started climbing without saying a word.

“We know it’s at the top of this mountain. It’s the tall one between these two shorter ones. We get the amulet and then what? How do we use it?” San asked, looking up from the map to Yeosang for answers. Surely, he knew how to lift his own curse.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Seonghwa grabbed Yeosang by the shirt collar. “You better find out before time runs out. It’s not just you on the line.”

“Supposedly there’s an inscription next to it that tells you how to use it.” Yeosang pushed Seonghwa off and looked over at Hongjoong. “You don’t get to guilt-trip me anymore. I told her everything. She basically rejected me so if you want to make a move, nothing is stopping you.”

“I’m not going to make a move. Not now. Not until she’s safe. Then I can confess to her and tell her that I love-“

“Don’t finish that sentence. Please don’t finish that sentence.” Jangmi stood behind Seonghwa, face puffy from crying. “One of you thinking you love me is enough for one day. Just… don’t finish that sentence.”

“We’re docking.” Yeosang announced, rushing back over to the helm.

“Drop the anchors!” Hongjoong called. “Everyone, be prepared. This is Qing. Only Seonghwa can speak the language fluently so try not to interact with anyone if you can help it. We don’t need any misunderstandings.”

“Actually, I learned the language too. It’s standard noble education.” Jangmi spoke up.

“Speaking of your old life, go put your dress on. They’re very traditional here and wearing pants could get you hostile attention.” Hongjoong sheathed his sword and looked over at Jangmi. “You know where it is, right?”

“Yes, Captain.” She disappeared into the lower decks.

“Seonghwa.” Hongjoong looked at the first mate apologetically. “Put on your noble clothes too. It’s better to travel with two people of status than one. We’ll be treated better. Especially since you’re a man.”

[catharticdaydream]

just stop your crying (it’ll be alright)

or, the one where obi wan learns ahsoka is alive. 

(read on ao3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679684/chapters/72978921)

-

CHAPTER ONE:

ahsoka tano. it was a name obi wan hadn’t heard in years, and hadn’t expected to ever hear again. certainly not in a dirty cantina in tatooine years after the republic fell. after anakin fell. 

no, anakin skywalker was dead. vader killed him. anakin died the moment he pledged himself to the dark side, another victim of the clone wars, and the far more sinister plot that had been behind it than anyone had dared to believe. anakin had died, along with everyone else that obi wan had held dear. he had lost them all- anakin, padme, ahsoka- all in the span of one rotation. if obi wan thought about it for too long, he was afraid he’d never come back from the pit of despair. 

obi wan needed to do something, anything, after a particularly rough day, where the memories wouldn’t leave him alone. he had never been one to drink while he was a jedi, he found indulging in such things to be unnecessary, but ever since his fate became living in solitude, forced to watch over a boy from afar, vowing never to allow himself to get close to the boy...well such things didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. he made his way to the cantina, ordered the strongest drink he could find, and sat down in a table in the far left corner. 

obi wan listened. he was good at listening. he mastered the art of listening years ago, whether it be listening to qui gon lecture him when he was a padawan, or listening to the jedi council debate for hours about the order, or listening to anakin and ahsoka ramble on about the latest holofilm they had seen. regardless of what it was, obi wan was a man of few words, but he heard everything going on around him. if you sat in a cantina long enough, you would hear a lot of stories. time lost its meaning, and quite honestly, obi wan could feel a little more normal in there, just another face in the crowd. 

“‘soka tano sent me,” was the phrase that threw obi wan out of his jawa-juice induced haze. he picked his head up, eyes darting in the direction of the voice. 

“what did you say?” obi wan asked, words coming out a little bit more slurred than he had anticipated. the men who had spoken, clearly bounty hunters of some kind, quieted down. 

“what’s it to you?” the biggest one, a trandoshan, said as he stood up. obi wan, jawa juice giving him courage, stood up as well. 

“that name, where did you hear it?” obi wan repeated. his heart was hammering unusually hard. 

“let me rephrase that. what’s it worth to you?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan reached into his pocket, handing over 5 credits. the trandoshan took them, inspected them, and put them in his pocket. 

“just a name i heard from a bounty hunter. some togrutan kid,” he shrugged. obi wan felt his heart beat faster.

“which bounty hunter?” obi wan pleaded. 

“hm?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan rolled his eyes, reached into his pocket, and put two more credits on the table.

“i said, which bounty hunter? what was his name?” 

“her name was bo. bo something...i don’t remember the last name,” the trandoshan said. 

“bo katan?” obi wan said incredulously. 

“yeah, yeah that was her. she’s here on mos eisley, if you want to talk to her. though i’d 

imagine her fee is a bit steeper than mine,” the trandoshan hissed. obi wan said, nothing, simply putting credits down on his table to pay for his drink, and darted out of the cantina. 

ahsoka was alive. ahsoka was alive. obi wan hadn’t seen her at the jedi temple after the attack, and lived with the horrible image of rex killing her, alone and afraid, for all these years. 

obi wan wasn’t sure when he had broken into a sprint, looking for some trace of bo katan, or better, ahsoka herself. he wasn’t sure what he’d do when he finally saw her. he’d spent years thinking about what he would have told his family if he had known that it was the last time he was going to see them. sure, he had tried to let them know how dear they were to him before every mission- but now, it still didn’t feel like enough. he hadn’t hugged them enough, told them he loved him enough, thanked them for being there for him through everything. and now, he may have a second chance. 

he looked everywhere for even a glimpse of something that could give him a clue as to her whereabouts, when he saw a woman walking in familiar mandalorian armour. 

“bo katan!” obi wan shouted. the woman stopped in her tracks, turing her head to the direction of the voice. when she was able to make out the face of her caller, she froze, and took off her helmet. 

“obi wan kenobi?” she asked in disbelief. “you’re alive?” 

“where’s ahsoka?” obi wan asked, wasting no time to achieve his task. 

“what? what are you doing here? how did you escape, i thought all the jedi had been-”

“bo katan, please. where’s ahsoka? i heard she was with you.” bo katan’s face hardened. 

“where did you hear that?” bo katan asked. 

“does it matter? bo, please. i need to see her, i need her to know i’m alive,” obi wan pleaded. bo katan’s face softened when she saw the look of pure desperation obi wan was currently wearing. she sighed. 

“look, come with me,” she said, putting her helmet on her head before looking around. she took obi wan’s wrist and pulled him into an alley covered by a battered and beaten tapestry. 

“i can’t tell you much. she’s working undercover with me. last time i talked to her, she was on jedha,” bo katan whispered. 

“jedha?” obi wan cried.

“shhh! what part of ‘undercover’ did you miss?” bo katan said, putting a finger up to his lips. 

“what the kriff is she doing there?” 

“i already said i couldn’t tell you much. in fact i’ve probably told you too much already,” bo katan sighed. obi wan looked around, eager to start his journey to find his grandpadawn. “listen to me obi wan,” bo katan started. 

“actually, it’s ben now,” obi wan corrected. bo katan scrunched her face up in confusion for a moment before disregarding the comment. 

“whatever you name is, listen up. if you do anything to compromise this mission, you will be joining my sister in the stars. got is?” the mention of satine sobered obi wan, who nodded. 

“thank you, bo katan. really,” obi wan said sincerely. she nodded, and without saying another word, took off on her jetpack. obi wan stood in a stunned silence for a moment, processing all of the new information that had been given to him. despite the deep seated sadness he felt for the actions that caused this situation to arise, obi wan couldn’t help but feel giddy with excitement. 

ahsoka was alive. 

he needed to find a ship to take him to jedha. he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to get one on tatooine- being a hermit didn’t exactly pay well. still, obi wan had been quite resourceful in his youth. then, there was the question of the young boy he was supposed to be keeping an eye on. watching over luke from afar proved to be a much harder task than he cared to admit- he wanted nothing more than to see the boy, all that remained of his brother and good friend, and teach him everything he knew. still, he knew better. he had seen what his love for anakin had done, and was terrified of doing the same thing to luke. 

he was sure that the boy, who was only four years old, couldn’t get into much trouble while obi wan was gone. of course, he was still anakin’s child, and obi wan could only hope that he took after padme when it came to his ability to create chaos. 

‘a ship,’ obi wan thought, remembering the task at hand. ‘i need to find a ship.’ he considered his options. he could steal a ship, sure, but obi wan liked to think that he still maintained some semblance of a moral code. he could buy a ship, but with his reputation and lack of funds, he was more than sure that anyone selling a ship would certainly take advantage of his desperate situation. his last option, and one that he desperately didn’t want to do, was to gently suggest to someone that they let him borrow his ship. obi wan had no idea if that would even work- he had closed himself off to the force months after anakin fell, their distorted bond too painful to bear. he hadn’t so much as mediated since that day. on top of that, if he was caught attempting to use the force, and he failed, he was certain that some bounty hunter wouldn’t hesitate to grab him and hand him over to the empire. 

but it still looked like his only option. 

he looked around for his target, somewhere isolated where he would risk the least if he failed. he found a small rodian unloading a small ship over by the back of the cantina. obi wan put his hood up and casually made his way to the ship. 

‘this is for ahsoka,’ he reminded himself. he walked up to the rodian and took a breath. 

“excuse me,” he said, getting his attention. 

“yeah? what do you want?” the rodian asked. obi wan sucked in a breath. “well? spit it out?”

obi wan held up a hand. “you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet,” he said, pretending not to notice the way he hand shook as if he were still a padawan. 

“what?” the rodian asked. obi wan felt his heart rate spike up. he swallowed the lump of fear in his throat, and raised his hand again, more confidently this time. he had been a jedi knight, a jedi master, and a general in the clone wars. he could do this.

“i said, you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet.” obi wan waited for a moment as the rodian stood up straight, and nodded. 

“i will let you board my ship and leave the planet,” he nodded, walking away without a second thought. obi wan breathed out a sigh of relief, and wasted no time running onto the ship, sitting down in the cockpit. he looked at the controls for a moment, and found himself, not for the first time, wishing anakin was with him. he was a good pilot, sure, but having anakin by his side always made him feel at ease. anakin was the best pilot he had ever met. 

‘snap out of it,’ obi wan reminded himself. ‘anakin is gone. but ahsoka may not be, and you need to find her.’ he pushed a few of the buttons, finding that perhaps not all of his knowledge that he had kept from his days as a general- knowledge that he thought he had shoved down to the darkest parts of his memory- were buried as deep has he had thought. obi wan felt actual joy as the ship sprung to life, and he set his course to jedha. 

the trip was going to be a long one, jedha was at least 5 parsecs away from tatooine, and he figured that, even while jumping to hyperspace, he’d be on the ship for at least a day. he set the course for jedha, and made the jump to hyperspace. obi wan leaved back in his seat, letting himself feel the full weight of the situation for the first time today. 

he was going to be seeing ahsoka. ahsoka tano, his grandpadawan, the girl who he let down, the girl who he loved as much as if she were his own padawan. when she had made the choice to leave the order, he had stood back and allowed anakin to talk to her, gave him time to grieve, but at night, when he was certain he was alone, would take his own time to mourn her. he and anakin may have had their differences in the way they showed affection, but obi wan would have done anything to protect that girl. and he had failed, just like he had failed everyone else. satine, padme, anakin, and ahsoka too; obi wan felt responsible for all of them. 

obi wan thought about what he was about to do. even if he did see ahsoka again, was he prepared for that? did he even have the words to tell her how sorry he was? and if he did, would it matter? what if ahsoka didn’t want to see him? what if she blamed him for anakins fall, for padme’s death. or worse, what if she did? obi wan wasn’t sure if he would be able to face her in the eyes and tell her what he had done. 

lost in his thoughts, and staring at the emptiness of space, obi wan fell asleep. 

[imaginepirates]

Scarred and Scared

           So somebody gave me an excuse to write for Beckett (@fablelady), and I wrote y'all a tender, sad fic where Beckett actually shows some goddamn fear and vulnerability for once. After being washed up on an island, he finds himself in the hands of a pirate who's hiding from the current war. He's now completely at the reader's mercy. Oops.

~3300 words

@bonjour-frens @tesserphantom @ilikebritsandbands @viper-official @measureformeasure

~~~~~~~

Being a pirate was hard. Keeping a low profile was harder. For your part, you were trying to stay out of the messy war between pirates and the government. Nothing good could come of it, not really. Any victory you had would be short lived. The government would win out in the end.

           Part of you was enjoying some rest and relaxation away from it all, but the other part of you was moping. You were stuck on a small island miles offshore of the nearest civilization. You were manning the lighthouse there, trying to make sure ships didn't crash on the rocks. So far, things had been blissfully uneventful. 

           That was until a few bodies washed up onshore. Some had gotten mangled against the rocks, and there was nothing you could do but wait for the tide to take them out again. Of the two others you found, one was most certainly dead, missing a large chunk of his torso. The other was covered in burns, but seemed otherwise unharmed. 

           There was little blood on him, but the burns caught your attention. His skin was twisted and puckered, and had turned a reddish pink color. How he might have survived, you didn't know. You prodded him anyway. First lazily with a foot, then more forcefully with a finger to the chest. You would've touched his face, but it looked too painful. Even you had the good graces not to prod a seemingly dead man in his wound. 

           He didn't move. You weren't surprised. But he wheezed, which scared you so badly you fell over backwards. You pushed yourself to your knees. You intended to take him inside, but you needed to make sure he threw up whatever water he'd swallowed while floating around in the ocean first. You pressed on his chest a few times, forcefully got some air into his mouth, and rolled him on his side. 

           At this point, he puked up water. It wasn't a pretty sight, but then neither was any of the things you'd seen that day. Broken, mangled bodies swollen with water were hardly cheerful. 

           It only dawned on you then that you had to take care of him. It wouldn't have bothered you so much if you actually knew how to care for people. In all honesty, you hardly took much care of yourself. 

           The next thing to catch your eye was his attire. Some bodies were in uniform, and some had the familiar look of roguish pirates, but the man beside you wore clothes more expensive than could be afforded by any sailor. You didn't jump to conclusions, but the ones you made you didn't like. 

           You dragged him back into the house next to the lighthouse. It was a small, cramped space, but it served. The poor man was much lighter than you'd expected, and you were able to partially carry him. He was somewhat conscious, but you doubted he knew any of what was happening to him. 

           You managed to get him lying down in an extra bed. His head lolled to one side, and you had to put pillows on either side of his face to keep it straight. 

           You pondered what to do, staring down at him the whole while. You hadn't the first clue what to do with half-drowned men. You thought on it some more, but came up with little. 

           You ended up observing him instead. He was a small thing, and light. He couldn't have been younger than thirty. For being that age, he looked in good health. Not one for indulgence, you noted. 

           In the end, it was his face that you found most fascinating. The burns covered most of it, though he'd lost little of his hair. The burns ran over his eyes and nose, and had twisted his top lip a bit out of place. You took off his shirt and coat to dry him off a bit, and saw that the burns extended down his torso and arms. You traced them lightly with a finger; endless patterns covered most of his body. 

           It took a few hours for him to stir. In that time, you'd made two bowls of hot broth. One you brought to him, and the other you ate. By the time he woke, the dish was going lukewarm. 

           He blinked awake, eyes barely opening. To your shock, they were a milky white. He didn't say anything, but as he laid there, he began to panic. Trying not to frighten him further, you put a hand on his chest to keep him still. 

           "Hey," you said softly. "It's okay." You weren't used to doing this. Comforting people wasn't your forte. 

           "Where am I? Who are you? Why can't I see?" Even whispering was straining his voice, but there was fear and tension in every word. 

           You suddenly realized that this was his first time thinking clearly after whatever disaster befell him. "Slow down," you told him. "You are completely safe and being taken care of. What happened to you?"

           "A battle with pirates. Needless to say, I lost." He fidgeted some, which you took as a good sign, but he hissed in pain with each movement. "Why can't I see?" He asked again. 

           You didn't know how to break it to him. "How badly did things go for your ship?" You already had a good guess.

           "Christ woman! I just want to know-"

           You didn't let him finish. "You have severe burns. You'll live, but it'll be restricting. There are major burns over certain joints, so bending them won't be fun. The fire got to your face, too. I'm afraid it blinded you."

           "Blinded me?" It was a shocked whisper, and he choked a little on the words. 

           "What's your name?"

           "Beckett. Lord Beckett."

           That changed your opinion of him immediately. The very person who would do anything to see your people wiped off the face of the earth was now at your mercy. 

           Naturally, you fed him broth. 

           The process was one filled with care. First, you propped him up on some pillows. He grimaced, but didn't complain, even though the burns must've hurt terribly. Feeding him, you tried to keep completely steady while holding the bowl to his lips. He did his best to get it to his mouth without the use of sight. It took much too long to finish. The dregs at the bottom were cold. 

           Beckett leaned back into the pillows. "I suppose I have to rely on you for everything now." His blank eyes stared at the wall. "Do you have a name?"

           "Y/N," you said. "And yes, I'm afraid I'll be doing everything for you from here on out." You didn't know about this assessment. There was an equally likely chance you'd let Beckett die. 

           He extended a hand to the side. "I assume you're to my right." 

           It was odd. Men and women didn't shake hands. You supposed, however, that he couldn't see any of the other ways you could acknowledge him. So you took his hand, though lightly. It was about the same size as yours, and he might've had a firm handshake if you weren't both trying to avoid the burns. 

           "Will you explain to me my injuries? Since I can't assess them myself."

           You agreed. The list was a long one, since you had to mention all the places he had burns. They crawled across his chest and back, spiraling up his neck to his face. "Where were you stationed?" You asked. There were multiple islands he might've been staying on. 

           "I," he began, "I can't remember." He turned his face towards you, but stared blankly at your arm. It was a little disconcerting to not be looked in the face, but he couldn't know where your face was, so you said nothing. "I remember pirates, and I remember the destruction of my ship, but I don't know why I was fighting them. I couldn't tell you the name of the ship, either."

           You could. You could tell him all about why he'd been fighting pirates. The fact that he couldn't remember his own flagship concerned you. Exactly how badly was he injured?

           At this point, you could tell he was starting to panic. You put a hand on his arm to calm him down. "You're okay." The words sounded false, even to you.  

           "I can hardly remember anything! I remember being requested in the Caribbean, but I don't remember going. I could have been there years, for all I know. Or not at all. Where am I, exactly?" His voice sounded small and frightened. 

           "A small island in the Caribbean. I'm a lighthouse keeper. You washed up on shore." You tried your best not to feel sympathy, but Beckett was clearly terrified. He deserves it, you told yourself. He's a horrible person. But you couldn't keep yourself from pitying him. The poor man didn't know where he was, or what had happened to him. 

           The worst part was that you knew everything. You knew exactly what had happened, and why, and that he'd already been in the Caribbean for six months. That didn't even count the journey over. It might've been a full year since Beckett was told he was leaving England.

           He grimaced. "Do you have anything for pain? I can feel a headache coming on." 

           Thankfully, you had laudanum. Over the next few days, his headaches only grew worse. You attributed it to the head injury that cost him his memory. Nothing else came to mind. He stared up at the ceiling for days in a row, seeing nothing. Watching him made you sad. In your imagination, Lord Beckett had been powerful and controlling, nothing like the meek man you saw now. 

           It was days before you dared prop him up, and days more before you helped him walk. You wouldn't have done it, but he insisted. You got no rest when trying to deny him something; he'd never tire of yelling until he got his way. It was more annoying than anything, and he never sounded mad, just bored. Finally, you gave in. 

           He was completely unsteady on his feet. You walked behind him, your arms under his to keep him up. If he fell, you'd be in a good position to catch him. He did, more than a few times. He would stumble, and you'd pull him back so he was leaning against your chest. He grumbled out a thanks each time, but wouldn't give up. 

           After a half hour of helping him slowly across the house, showing him where he could put his hands to find his way, he consented to sitting down. 

           It took a moment for you to realize he was crying. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, following the patterns of the burns. He stared solemnly at the ground, not acknowledging the tears. 

           You sat down next to him. "Hey." You didn't know what else to say. Without thinking, you wiped the tears from his cheeks with gentle fingers. They traced over the burns ever so lightly. 

           "I used to be so self sufficient," he said. "I had to rely on myself- I've always had to rely on myself." You bristled at that- how could he know what it was like to rely on only himself?- but he went on. "I left the house at eighteen after fighting with my father. I never spoke with him again. He cut me off from all the family resources. I made my own way, then."

           No doubt he had help. No doubt his name drew people to his cause, made people sympathize with him. He hadn't been alone, not really. Still, it was impressive. He'd left his house and been estranged from them, and he sat beside you as one of the most powerful men in England. One of the most powerful men in the world. 

           "I've done so much for myself, and now, now, I must rely completely on you. I had to take it on good faith that you wouldn't let me die. A stranger that I've never even seen. Dear god, how will I return to a normal life? What was my normal life like? I can't entirely remember." He sniffed and choked on his words. "I've never felt so goddamn helpless."

           And then, to your great surprise, you wrapped an arm around him. To your greater surprise, he rested his head on your shoulder and cried. You went on like that for a good long while, up until you felt dampness on your own cheeks.

           When you'd both wiped the tears off your cheeks, Beckett made a peculiar request. "I'm afraid I don't know what you look like. Would you mind if I, well, felt? I've seen a blind man do it before."

           You guided his hand to your cheek and closed your eyes. His hand tentatively felt about your face, fingers gently brushing over your cheeks and lips and nose. 

           "It's hard to get a mental picture of what you look like. I suppose I'll get better at this in time." His fingers lingered on your cheek, but you didn't push him away. 

           You found yourself spending more time with Beckett as the days wore on. Truth be told, you were lonely on the island. Your fellow pirates had either gone off to fight or disbanded. You'd never felt more alone. Beckett was the enemy, of course, but talking with him was better than being by yourself. You warmed up to each other; he was more polite, and you thought of him more as a friend than a responsibility. He always had a hand on your arm when you were in the same room to know where you were. He too hated being alone. Whenever you had to do things in the lighthouse, he moped. It was endearing in its own way, and you ended up spending a lot of time in each other's company. 

           You had to work in the lighthouse at night. It was an exhausting job, especially because you were up with Beckett all day. A storm had started one morning; nothing major, just some wind and rain. It didn't concern you until later in the evening. You climbed up the steps to the lighthouse as rain bashed sideways against the structure. When you looked out into the distance, lightning danced across the sky. 

           A gust of wind rattled the glass of the lighthouse, and a loud cracking sound echoed over the island. Alarmed, you looked outside. Below you, a tree had fallen just short of the lighthouse. It wouldn't have done much damage, but the sound had certainly scared you. The tree wasn't that big, but had been blown over by the wind. 

           You shook it off, checking to see that the light was rotating properly. Then it occured to you that Beckett was alone in the house with only his ears to tell him what had happened. 

           Sure enough, you opened the door to find Beckett leaned wide eyed against the wall. Somehow, he'd made it to the front door. He looked unsteady, and you were almost sure he'd already fallen down. 

           "Y/N?" The sound of the door opening told him you were there. "I heard something terribly loud, and knew you were out there, and figured you might have been hurt…"

           "I'm fine," you assured him. "You shouldn't have tried to walk by yourself. Are you hurt?"

           "No." He took a step towards you and almost pitched over. 

           You steadied him, and his hands clung to your arms. "Liar," you said. "How many times did you fall?"

           "Enough," he mumbled. "Really, you shouldn't live by yourself out here. If something had happened to you, I couldn't have helped."

           He was right, of course, but you didn't say anything. In truth, you wouldn't be tending the lighthouse much longer. "Did the noise scare you?" You asked instead. 

           Beckett pursed his lips. "Yes," he admitted. "I'm finding that it's very hard, relying on sound and touch. I feel so different from the man I was weeks ago. Or so I assume."

           A flood of fresh sadness washed over you. You hated it when he talked about how changed he was and how hard it was hitting him. "Let's go to bed. The storm will sort itself out." 

           You helped him back to his room. He laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. "Stay?" His voice was small, like he thought you'd refuse. 

           You hesitated before replying. "Of course." You didn't have it in you to deny him. He was just a scared, hurting man. 

           You slipped a hand into his and dozed off in a chair next to his bed. The storm raged on outside, but the warmth of the house lolled you to sleep. 

           You woke to a gentle squeeze around your fingers. "Thank you." It was the first time Beckett hadn't been ashamed to say the words. "No one has ever cared for me like you have these past weeks. Not since childhood."

           It was a heavy confession to wake up to. You couldn't think of anything to say. Luckily, he went on. 

           "I'm remembering things again. I know why I was in that battle. Dear god, it was awful. Pirates." A look of disgust passed over his face. 

           You flinched a little. You weren't sure what would happen, now that he had his memories back. 

           "I suppose piracy will still be rampant. I hope they don't stop here; I would hate for something to happen to you." 

           It occured to you that he'd continued talking. You were hardly listening, but the comment caught your attention. 

           "I'll be fine."

           "Pirates are vicious and brutal. They don't have a moral code. The likelihood of your being spared in an attack is dismal. They don't discriminate; man, woman, or child; they'll kill anyone. 

           You couldn't take his commentary. "Are we? Are we vicious and brutal? Are we savages?" You didn't care what he knew anymore. It wasn't like he could hurt you. But he could know that you had every capability of hurting him. 

           "We?"

           "Yes, 'we'."

           "Christ," he whispered. "What's a pirate doing manning a lighthouse?"

           "Avoiding being slaughtered by the East India Company in battle." 

           "And even knowing who I was, you took care of me." He was staring at you with milky, disbelieving eyes.

           "I can still throw you to the sea."

           "I imagine you want to."

           "I do."

           He said nothing for a while. When he spoke again, he spoke softly. "I was captured and tortured by pirates when I was younger. My own father didn't care about me enough to pay the ransom. That's why I left home. I have such awful memories of pirates…"

           "And I have awful memories of the Navy and East India Company. You tore down our houses and killed our families. I left my family the day they were killed." It was a painful memory to share, but he needed to know. He needed to know that he wasn't the only one who'd suffered. 

           "I'm sorry." He fidgeted with the blanket lying on his chest. "That you lost your family."

           "I'm sorry that yours didn't care about you enough." You sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't hate you, you know."

           "Even knowing everything I've done?"

           "Even knowing that."

           "You're certainly the first."

           "There's a first time for everything."

           "You'll let me stay here, then? Until I'm ready to leave?"

           "Yes."

           "For the record, I count myself very fortunate that you found me. Thankful, too." He tugged on your hand, which he still had a hold of. Through the whole argument, neither of you had let go of the other. He brought your hand to his lips, letting a soft kiss fall on your knuckles. "It's a strange situation we're in. Strange, but good."

           "Strange, but good," you agreed. 

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 2

and moving right along w/the 2nd issue!

[sees cover w/skids] MY MAN!!!!

brainstorm calling himself the ‘ships genius’ and then rodimus mistaking him for multiple other people bc of this is hvbhjaksfbskfdl

love that rodimus is a self-recognized himbo. he doesn't know what a  science is and he doesn't care 

i love brainstorm callously joking about the duobot guy being killed horribly via generator melding...brainstorm ily 

and there's cyclonus! 

SKIIIIIIIDS

i fucking love the panel of skids saying ‘maybe I'm just being paranoid’ and in the background the words ‘YOU HAVENT ESCAPED THEYRE ALL AROUND YOU’ are carved into the wall....nice 

skids thinking his name is scum was funny until I had context, and now its just making me fucking SAD 

hbvahfjskfdbsajf rung praising ratchet, and ratchet being like oh thanks, excuse me a second- [hits hand with giant hammer] gotten loosen up the old joints eh 

mtmte is so fucking funny i always forget that bc the story and characters are so strong but its also hilarious. what an iconic series

tailgate is a dial-up robot. love it

‘buzzing with positive energy’ vbhjaksbhdfjsakf drift please

god i fuckgin love drift’s hippy nonsense. peak

wow rung hasn't caught a single break so far in the story huh

‘its your eyebrows! he’s jealous of your capacity for self-expression!’ vhbhsudfjsakfj swerve 

also i remember when watching tfp ruth and i would say that rung belonged there bc everyone in tfp had insane eyebrows 

oof, rung really goin for it there - not that you can blame him. also i get the feeling that the hipaa laws of cybertron are a little looser than earths

god i love how everyone on the ship is at least a little bit of an asshole. fantastic stuff 

swerve please vbjhsdkhfbjaskhfdn

love the detail of skids saying hes unarmed while holding the gun - bc he doesn't even realize/remember that hes holding it 

skids saying ‘fly, my beauty! fly!’ while throwing some guy’s dead body at his attackers....lmao 

cyclonus is so sexy and iconic i gotta say

oof i love cyclonus’s speech there...and the fact that that is what changed rodimus’s mind about him...and also contrast that w/their final moment in the last issue...OUGH 

also I'm too tired to remember/care how to pluralize names ending in s so I'm just fuckin goin for it lmao

magnus threatening to demolish cyclonus....sir

whirl saying ‘i cant remember who started it’ hvbhajkdsfbjajks ok

cyclonus is so ufcking hardcore. also i love him and whirl’s entire relationship progression...so good

the fact that tailgate lies about his function so smoothly is so interesting...i feel like tailgate mostly reads as innocent/naïve but his very deliberate lying shows that hes not just 1-dimentionally innocent (which is excellent)

and like, tailgate had to have quickly realized that he CAN lie about this here, 6 million years in the future, bc there’s nobody around to factcheck him - so now he can be as important as he wished he was back in his day...i love it

and still, as of now, we (the readers) don't know tailgate is lying - tho i feel like him saying that the ark launch would fail without him is a good clue, since we know that the ark launch DIDNT fail despite tailgates absence

fuckgin love worldbuilding stuff like metallurgy being ‘skin specialty’ in a world where everyone is made of metal. like, that makes sense!

i really want to know if tailgate genuinely thinks that whirls name is nutjob hbhdsjfkhbhjsakf

chromedome is so massive compared to the minibot squad hvbhjdskfbdksf

SKIDS WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO, I DONT REMEMBER AND I WANNA KNOW

love that in the crowd shot, cyclonus still manages to find a window to broodingly stare out of. icon

also is that cosmos???? bc im p sure he wasn't even on the lost light 

drift being ‘offensively upbeat’ as rodimus puts it is so fucking funny. sir please

im fuckgin crying at skids being like ‘well i guess i joined a quest? ok then’ lmaoooo this poor dude

also didn't someone do an analysis of swerve’s joking overexaggerated quest checklist to show that that all ended up being stuff that they did...bruh

rodimus really jinxed himself by overemphasizing how important any remarks had to be

also whirl once again dropping the issue title (”hanger ons”), nice

the crusadercons hvbdjkhfbhskdf

reclaim the suffix lmao god 

ohh i love the crew profiles SO MUCH

I love the contrast of brainstorm’s ‘prolific murderer’ to ratchets ‘prolific life-saver.’ also i love the retrospective irony of that particular epithet for brainstorm

chromedomes profession being classified is a nice touch

i love issue 2 too, it goes so well w/issue 1. we get a nice intro to our characters now that they’ve actually embarked on their epic space cruise, and the promising premise continues to feel fresh and exciting. ah, mtmte, so good. im excited for more...! 

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos 

 *sigh* Akane, you’re wrong 

 Ooo, not good 

 And that is what no self control looks like folks 

 What is with that ending? 

 And this is what manipulation look like folks 

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind 

 I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already 

 I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use 

 Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong 

 I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all 

 Also, can you not knock them out? 

 I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over 

 Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right? 

 Wholeass mood for Ranma 

 Like you two need to shut up 

 I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE 

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground? 

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time? 

 Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan 

 I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over 

 No questions, just punches a grave 

 Why does that grave hit back? 

 Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out 

 I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing 

 Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole 

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean 

God, Genma you actually suck 

 Oh, thank God she’s not too smart 

 The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing 

 That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

 C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

 Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

 Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

 MtF Konatsu

 Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

 Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

 Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

 This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

 “Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

 Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

[sapphicparker]

Fell from the sky into my lap // peppermay

Summary: "May Parker, will do you the honor of being my fake girlfriend?” She hold out her hand. May smiles.“Yes, I do, Pepper.” May intertwines their hands together. (AKA fake dating/college au)

Words: 21,231 | Other ships: SteveTony & Yelenat

Warnings: SMUT

(Also available on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921644)

May Parker rarely lies but when she does, let’s just say she’s the mighty, great leader and sole creator of the ‘lying is totally okay and cool’ club. They even have jackets, leather ones to be exact. She doesn’t do it out of habit or force, it just happens and she, eventually, deals with the consequences later. The short list of lies she’s ever told aren’t as catastrophic, most of them range from lying about not doing homework to studying for an important exam, even making up an excuse not to go out. Even telling her boyfriend she was home sick when in reality she was cheating on him. 

Okay, maybe the last one is a bit much, but in her defense, they were already broken up and she definitely didn’t think he would come back a few hours after their final fight to get his boxes of shit while seeing her go down on some girl she met at the bar right after their fight. The biggest lie she has told was to her parents, who she hasn’t seen in a couple months, is that she’s bringing someone home for winter break.

Before the inevitable break-up;

Honestly before the fight, her and Ben were doing great. They met at one of the bars, Carter’s, right down the block by campus. Did their usual routine, two or three beers, depending on what kind of day they had. He would talk about football and courses he was taking, but mostly about football. May honest to god tried to pay attention but that night, her mind was somewhere else. Somewhere else like finding an engagement ring in a drawer. She shuddered at the thought of marriage, not that she liked it, she did, it’s a huge commitment that she was in no way, shape, or form ready for it.

She grabbed her beer and chugged it as Ben began to about classes and bullshit drama that somehow crossed his path during the day. After an hour or two they went back to May’s place, put on Netflix and did some homework.

To this day May still silently thanks god everyday that meeting Ben wasn’t set up by some dating app but instead by one of their mutual friends. She still remembers it like it was yesterday. Carter’s bar is not the most spacious or extravagant looking bar, it still has it’s charm and outside good looks. The inside however smelled like aged old liquor and a weird sense of mildew. Truly comforting in its own weird way.

As for Ben, he’s just like any ordinary tall, brunette, college football player who is somehow not a pretentious douchebag. Him and May were friends at first, good friends even. Ben needed a place to stay for awhile, so she let him room with her. Awhile turned into weeks, which turned into a couple months, and then into him moving into his own place…down the hall from her.

May thought it was nice seeing him every time she had to do laundry or even throw out the trash, sometimes he would get both of their mail so she wouldn’t have to trudge down the flight of stairs to get it. May knew the first time she realized she liked Ben was when he came over for their annual Friday movie night. Usually, she was the one to remind him but, this time he remembered, it was a tiny thing that made her stomach do the weird butterfly thing. He even brought over Chinese food takeout and a cheap bottle of wine.

A couple weeks down the road they kissed and it was nice and exciting and new. They would wait for each other after classes, get some drinks and study together. May would go to his practices and games, cheer him on, even wear his jersey. After games they would get ice cream, it didn’t matter if he won or lost, or if it rained or shined, they would go.

They lasted around eleven months or a year, May honestly doesn’t remember, and it was bad on her part, actually it’s both of their fault. May told Ben she found the ring, he asked her if she wanted to marry him, she said no. May explained to him why she didn’t want to, that she wasn’t looking for that kind of commitment right now and she definitely didn’t want to be tied down. She was still young, she wanted to live more, worry less.

Ben didn’t like that, he got all defensive, arguing back about some bullshit leading him on, so what did May do? She rolled her eyes, told him she’s going out and to pack his shit and leave. Next morning, Ben comes home to get his things and sees May having sex with someone. He quickly shuts the door and never returns. May still has his boxes stacked in the hallway closet, she hasn’t opened the door since.

Flash forward to now. May’s currently very single and lonely at this place and time. She’s wearing an old ACDC shirt that she “borrowed” from Carol and a pair of plaid pajama shorts while sitting on an old maroon couch drinking wine as season six of Great British Bake Off plays in the background. Yeah, that little fling she had with that bar girl, she doesn’t remember her name, it sounded like that coffee company, Folgers. May tilts her head trying to remember the name, it takes her a moment until it comes back to her, like someone flicked on the light switch. She snap her fingers. Felicia, that’s it.

May pours more wine into her glass as she narrows down possible fake boyfriend, or girlfriend options. Separating them into two columns; boys slash girls, and jotting down basically everyone she knows. Boys; Steve, Quentin, and Bruce. Girls; Carol, Jane, and Maria.

She takes sip of her wine before immediately crossing out the lists and throwing the notepad onto the adjacent coffee table. May lets out a heavy sigh and lays her head back on the couch, she feels entirely overwhelmed and more stressed than when she took midterms. It’s at this moment her black cat, Milo, jumps onto the couch and purrs. He rubs his head on her arm and looks up with his black eyes, tilting his head, almost as if he can sense something is wrong. May gently scratches his cheek.

“It’s okay, buddy. Everything is fine,” she say to him as if he can somehow understand and magically talk back to her. He immediately jumps into May’s lap, curling up into a ball. This has to be some kind of witchcraft, she thinks to herself. Not that black cats are often associated with witches, they are, but Milo is special in his own way.

A groan slips out of her mouth when she realizes she has a, now, sleeping cat on her lap and she absolutely refuses to wake him up. That’s the second rule you have to follow when you get a pet, owner shall not move when said pet is sleeping on you. Right on top of feeding your pet and loving them unconditionally.

Mumbling ‘fuck it’ under her breath, May reaches for the tv remote and turns the volume up. In this particular episode of Great British Bake Off, the bakers are making a delicate spongecake. May has never in her life wanted spongecake more than she does right now. Grabbing her phone from the side table, May unlocks it and opens the notes app. Typing, GET SPONGECAKE, in all caps to let her future self know that it’s important to get it when she eventually leaves the comfort of her bed to do grocery shopping tomorrow morning.

She adds in the following; eggs, almond milk, coffee, coffee creamer, peaches, strawberries, mashed potatoes, box of pasta (x2), White bread, plums, chocolate and vanilla ice cream.

Satisfied with her list, she puts the phone down only to pick it up again when it rings. The name ‘Tony’ with the black heart emoji next to it flashes along with a horrible selfie of him. May’s finger slides over the answer and she puts him on speaker, holding the phone in her hand.

“What do you want you, gremlin,” May says annoyingly as she tries to focus on the tv, taking a sip of wine.

“Well, hello to you too, what’s up?”

May rolls her eyes. “You called me, genius.”

Tony lets out a gasp. “Yes, yes I did. My mistake.” He takes a breath before continuing. “Right, what are your plans for winter break?”

“I’m unfortunately going home, remember? Or did you completely forget what we talked about this morning at the coffee shop.”

“I didn’t forget.” May could hear the exaggeration in his voice.

“Yeah, sure you did,” May says as she raises an eyebrow at one of the contestants forming an elaborate cake that might possibly take up all the baking time.

Tony scoffs and May’s sure he’s shaking his head. “Do you or do you not want to come back with me for winter break, instead of going back home?”

“That’s sweet, Tones, but I already told my folks I’m coming back and that I’m bringing someone.” She mumbles the last part, hoping he doesn’t hear it.

“I’m sorry, what was the last part?”

May groans. Damn bastard has ears like a goddamn hawk.

She lets out a sigh, “I told my parents that I was bringing someone home for break. I’m pretty sure they think it’s Ben, they don’t know that we broke up, so they’ll find out when I come home.”

“You really need to stop lying about things, May. I know sometimes you can control it, but in situations like this you really shouldn’t.”

May pinches the bridge of her nose, “if you’re going to lecture me, please wait at least 24 hours before doing so.”

“Fine, at least tell me who you’re bringing?”

She pauses and that seems to be a good enough answer for Tony.

“Are you serious? Winter break is literally in a few days and you don’t know!” Tony exclaims over the phone loudly and May lowers the volume a tad bit.

“I’ll figure it out, I always do,” May confidently says, knowing damn well, she have no clue what to do.

“I don’t believe you but, alright. I’m coming over for lunch tomorrow since Steve’s taking his last midterm, sound good?”

“Fantastic. See you then,” May says before Tony mumbles out a ‘bye, love you’

May casually tosses her phone onto the side table, not really caring whether or not it dies overnight, or mysterious lives thanks to the new and improved battery life span. Eventually she finishes the episode, the credits begin to roll when Milo stirs in her lap. He turns his body facing her, a small meow echos throughout the room along with the Great British Bake Off song credits.

“Did you have a nice nap?” she says softly, rubbing her nose against his fur, he purrs in agreement. “Yeah, I bet you did, buddy.” Shutting Netflix off, May carefully lifts Milo off her lap and cradles him in her arms as she simultaneously grabs her phone.

Once in the bedroom, May puts Milo down on the bed, he immediately curls up at the end of it. Plugging in her phone and setting it down on the bedside table, she grabs the blankets and comforter, shuffles a couple times before finding a comfortable position and falls asleep.

It’s next morning when she hears her phone ringtone blaring throughout her room. May’s eyes are still closed when she reaches over, answering it without a care in the world who could be calling her this early in the morning.

“Hello?” She mumbles, her voice still horse and clouded.

“I’m here with coffee, let me in.” It’s Tony because of course it is.

May lets out a groan, she hangs up, and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. She trudges to the door, unlocking it, and welcomes Tony in. She lets out a yawn as she stares at the brunette man now standing in her kitchen.

“You know, you could be nicer in the morning. I did bring you coffee.” Tony hands her an ice coffee. May takes a sip and a small smile appears on her face. She sticks her tongue out at him before sitting on the couch, one leg under the other.

“Why are you here? I thought we were meeting for lunch, not breakfast,” May calls out to Tony as he’s lazily pouring cat food into Milo’s dish, some of it tumbles out of it and onto the floor, Tony shamelessly kicks it under the fridge. Milo appears in front of him and Tony lets out a gasp, clenching his chest.

“Jesus christ, Milo!”

May lets out a loud laugh and Tony stares at her, completely flabbergasted that she would laugh at his pain. May lets out a breath, “I should’ve warned you, he tends to do that when he gets food.”

“You think!” Tony exclaims as he shakes his head. He kneels down to scratch Milo’s head, the black cat lets out a small meow before digging into his breakfast.

“I’m telling you, he belongs to witches or something.” Tony shakes his head and smiles at Milo before standing back up and grabs his coffee. May looks up at him when he enters the living room, Tony jumps onto the couch and sits crisscross, staring at her.

“What?” She asks questionably.

“Did you think about who you’re bringing home yet? You still have time to change your mind and come back with me.”

May immediately lets out a groan, she hoped Tony would have forgot it by now but, no. He can remember what they talked about yesterday but he can’t remember his goddamn anniversary.

“Not yet,” May pauses to take drink the rest of her coffee, occasionally slurping it, causing an annoying sound to echo in the room. Tony rolls his eyes at her childlike behavior. “And, no to coming with you. As much as I love Jarvis’ cooking, I promised I would go home for break.”

Tony nods his head. “I’ll bring you leftovers but you might not get it with how much Steve eats.” May chuckles.

“That’s alright, i’ll take my chances. I just need to find someone who will actually go along with it.” A sigh escapes May’s lips.

Tony thinks for a moment and snaps his fingers, breaking May’s train of thought, not that she was thinking about anything in the moment anyway.

“What?” She asks.

“I think I know someone, wait do you want male or female?”

May stares at him, one of her scary death stares that Tony hates. He immediately puts his hands up. “Alright, jeez. Just stop looking at me like that. God, you’re worse than Milo.”

It’s nighttime and May is sitting uncomfortably in a fancy restaurant, she checks her watch again for the third time that night. Her date, who Tony set her up with, was fifty minutes late and she felt awful for the poor waitress who kept coming up to her asking for her order. May sighs as she drinks the remaining wine in her glass, she gestures towards the waitress for another bottle, dear god she’s going to need it. The waitress, Pepper is her name, leaves the bottle on the table.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything else? I’m sure bread and wine isn’t the most suitable meal.”

May reads the menu again. “You’re right. You know what? I think I’ll have the ravioli.”

“Excellent choice, I’ll bring that out for you shortly.” Pepper smiles.

May bites the inside of her cheek. “Please take your time, it’s not like I’m waiting for anyone else.” She gestures towards the empty seat in front of her.

Pepper’s lips curl up into her mouth, she looks around the restaurant before leaning down to May’s height, “I’ll throw in a free desert, just for you.”

The glass of wine stills in May’s hand, the red liquid swooshes around in it. She turns to look at Pepper, her tongue poking out to wet her lips. “Why, thank you.”

Pepper walks away towards the kitchen and May can’t help but stare at her as she does. Her line of sight is interrupted by her phone ringing. Without even reading the I.D, May already knows who it is.

“Hi Tony,” she grumbles into the phone.

“Hi darling, so tell me everything, how is he? Great?”

May’s jaw clenches, she doesn’t want to cause a scene in this very nice restaurant. “Well, darling,” she imitates Tony’s tone, “it’s been an hour and I’m sitting here alone in this fucking expensive ass place.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Stark.”

“But I- I don’t understand. He was actually excited for it, I don’t know why,” Tony rambles on and May isn’t listening to a word he’s saying because her eyes are flowing over to Pepper talking to customers.

“May? You still there?”

She lets out a cough, “yeah, I’m still here. I’m getting dinner for one.”

“Oh, okay, I was just gonna come to you but if you’re good,” Tony’s voice trails off as May stares at Pepper who’s carrying a tray of food over one shoulder and placing it down onto the serving table. She bends down to grab extra napkins and forks and May can’t help but advert her eyes down to Pepper’s body. Tight black jeans do wonders for everyone.

“Parker!” Tony yells out. May does a double-take and blinks repeatedly. “Jesus christ, what the hell! I’ve been talking for two minutes without an interruption.”

“Sorry, I got distracted,” May says as her face becomes flushed.

“Distracted from?” Tony coerces out.

“There’s a really cute waitress who’s working tonight,” May whispers into the phone and Tony reacts how anyone would, by letting out an excited scream.

“No way! Steve! May’s crushing on the waitress,” Tony says excitedly. In the background May can hear Steve say ‘are you serious, Tony hang up! Let her get back to the date.’ Tony shushes him.

“Goodbye, Tony,” May hangs up the phone as Tony yells excuses to not hang up.

May’s putting her phone back into her bag when Pepper is walking towards her with dinner. She places it in front of her. May takes a breath. “This looks great, thank you.” A genuine smile flashes across her face.

“Enjoy, I’ll just be over here if you need anything.” Pepper smiles and nods her head in the direction where she’ll be. She begins to walk away when May grabs her forearm, stopping in her step.

“Please, sit,” May gestures towards the empty seat in front of her. Pepper looks around the restaurant, it’s late and nearly empty with a few stragglers and the clean up crew’s about to start coming in. Pepper immediately sits down and loosens her tie, pulling it down a few inches before unbuttoning her collar.

May digs into her ravioli, it tastes so delicate and warm, and the sauce is great, a mix of red and vodka sauce. It might be one of May’s new favorite dishes. “So do you like being a waitress?”

Pepper chuckles, “Is this how you always begin conversations?” She grabs a water pitcher from a nearby empty table and fills up a glass, nearly downs the whole glass and lets out a breath. May smiles before taking another bite. “Not always but I thought I would give it a shot.”

A small smirk appears on Pepper’s face, “I just need this job to help pay for college. It’s only a couple days a week so it’s not all bad.” May hums in agreement and takes a sip of wine.

“Can I be honest for a second.” May nods her head. “Who the fuck stood you up tonight?” May lets out a loud cackle. She covers her mouth with her hand to subdue her laughter. Pepper stares at her, for the first time that night she actually really looks at her. She notices how May gets crinkles in the corner of her eyes when she laughs really loud. She notices her dimples rise up when she grins a certain way. She notices how her brown eyes look lighter, more warmer in the light. She notices how her cheeks get more flushed, a light shade of pink. And lastly, Pepper notices how her heart is beating like a drum in her chest and how her palms are suddenly clammy, and how she wants May to feel like this every day of the week.

Once May has calmed down, she wipes an invisible tear from her eye and drinks the remaining wine in her glass. “Thank you, I needed a good laugh.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll let you finish your meal and I’ll bring dessert out,” Pepper says as she stands up from the table.

“Hopefully for two?”

“Absolutely,” Pepper walks away towards the remaining stragglers, talking to them. May sighs contently, she suddenly feels very warm and a tad nauseous.

Ten minutes pass by and May eats half of her ravioli dish. She leans back in her chair, deciding she’s definitely bringing leftovers home. Pepper exits the kitchen carrying a plate of dessert. Once in front of May, she places it on the table. “Chocolate mousse cake with vanilla ice cream on top.”

May licks her lips. “Looks great, shall we?”

“We shall,” Pepper hands May a spoon and they dig in. It’s so rich and creamy and delicious. Once dessert is devoured by the two of them, Pepper grabs a take-out container and puts May’s leftovers in it, sealing it in a brown paper bag. May hands Pepper her card for the check, after a brief moment she comes back with it.

“Thank you. I hope the rest of your night is lovely.”

May smiles, “Yours too.” She pauses for a second, her breath catches in her throat. “When do you get off work?”

Pepper stares at her, mouth agape, and she looks at her watch. “My shift ended ten minutes ago.” She chuckles awkwardly, hoping to ease the sudden tension.

May has her coat on, her bag slung over her shoulder and leftovers in hand. She turns to look at Pepper, “You wanna get out of here?”

Pepper nods her head, “yes, yes. Let me get my things.”

May watches Pepper run off to get her things, as she does, she quickly texts Tony. No, she texts Steve because he’s more likely to read it. She texts him; ‘I know Tony won’t respond so I’m telling you to tell him to not come over in the morning for breakfast.’ Seconds later Steve replies, ‘will do’ with the thumbs up emoji, followed by, ‘late night? And wink emoji.’ May responses back with the middle finger emoji and once she does Pepper is at her side. She puts her phone in her bag and they’re out the door.

The minute they’re back in May’s apartment, May has Pepper pressed against the door. They shuffle their jackets off, their bags land on the hardwood floor with a thud. Peppers arms are around May’s waist, pulling her closer. She presses her soft lips onto May’s, they move in sync, letting out breathy moans before Pepper slides her tongue into May’s mouth, deepening the kiss. May grabs Pepper by her neck, pulling her closer until the silky fabric of May’s dress rubs against her now, slightly unbuttoned shirt. Pepper shivers at the touch of it, small goosebumps rise on her exposed skin. They pull away for a second, both chests heaving and feeling hot.

“Bedroom?”

“Definitely.”

It’s early in the morning when May wakes up, she turns her head to look at the alarm clock, instantly rolling her eyes when she sees that it reads exactly eight a.m. She wipes the sleep out of her eyes before rubbing her bare shoulders and reaches down to the floor, grabbing a white t-shirt and throws it over her naked torso. It’s not perfect, there’s a small coffee stain on it, but she doesn’t care because Pepper is still in bed.

May carefully reaches over to move a blonde strand out Pepper’s eyes before placing a kiss on her forehead and quietly gets up to make some coffee and breakfast. She hears the pitter-patter of Milo behind her as she enters the kitchen. As the coffee machine powers up, May gives Milo his breakfast, he lets out a soft meow as if he’s saying thank you. May ponders for a moment deciding on what to make for breakfast, she opens the fridge to see it almost bare and empty. She lets out a groan when realizing she got held up with Tony and forgot to go grocery shopping. She settles on making French toast, making a couple slices and topping it with powered sugar and syrup. The coffee machine lets out a beep and she pours the dark, warm liquid into two mugs, adding two spoonfuls of sugar and an insane amount of coffee creamer. May lets out a content sigh when she takes a sip, it’s perfect.

Pepper wakes up as sunlight shines through the window, her skin feels warm and soft and golden. She reaches over to check the time on her phone, it reads eight-thirty along with text messages from a group chat. She stretches a hand out to feel a cold spot, her bottom lip pokes out. She wanted to wrap her arms around May and thank her for making her feel like she escalated to another world, for feeling like she saw the moon and stars and everything beyond.

Pepper grabs a discarded hoodie that was on a nearby chair and throws it over her, lifting up her blonde locks that got stuck under the neck hole. The smell of French toast leads her to the kitchen, where she quietly watched May sit on the counter sipping her coffee while watching tv. May looks up from her coffee and sees Pepper, her eyes light up.

“Morning! I made breakfast and coffee.”

Pepper swears she could stay here forever, she could get use to this. May hands her the other coffee mug and Pepper doesn’t miss the cute look on May’s face when she takes a sip of her black coffee.

“I’m not even going to ask about that,” May’s eyes advert towards the mug in Pepper’s hand. Pepper nods her head. “Good, cause that’ll be up for debate later or another day.” She takes another sip of coffee.

“I forgot to go grocery shopping so I made French toast.”

Pepper smiles. “It smells wonderful. I haven’t had French toast in forever.” She cuts a piece off, dips it in syrup, and takes a bite. She gives May a thumbs up as continues to devour the breakfast food. May finished her remaining piece of French toast a few minutes before Pepper came into the kitchen, she sits quietly drinking her coffee as Pepper eats. May smirks to herself, god knows she worked up an appetite last night.

Once Pepper is done eating, she looks up at May, silently hating that she has the height advantage now that she’s on the counter. She places her hands on May’s thighs. “You have a little,” May begins before licking her thumb and wiping off some powder sugar at the corner of Pepper’s lip, “there. All good.”

“God, you’re so cute,” Pepper breathes out before kissing May. Her hands slide up her torso towards May’s face where she cups her cheeks, her thumbs comfortably resting on her cheekbones as she gently caresses her soft skin. May smiles into the kiss, she feels lightweight, like she’s floating on a cloud. It’s soft when Pepper kisses May, she grabs Pepper’s waist pulling her in between her thighs. She holds onto her waist as she wraps her legs around Pepper's.

Pepper’s tongue darts into May’s mouth as she lets out a low moan, a hint of heat radiating off both of them. Pepper pulls away for a moment, a pout immediately forms on May’s face. Pepper chuckles as she takes off the hoodie, she’s bare underneath except for her underwear and May bites her lip. Pepper lets out a gasp when May’s cold hands touch her, the hair on her arms stick up slightly as she moves her hands towards Pepper’s neck. Her hands remain still on Pepper’s chin, “if you’re cold, I can warm you up in no time.” May pulls Pepper into a kiss and they return to their former position. May’s about to take off her shirt when there’s a knock at the door.

“Who the fuck is that?” May growls as she jumps off the counter and darts towards the door. The door is open in a flash and May is annoyed at the sight in front of her. Of course, it's Tony, with a smile on his face while Steve is daunting an ‘i’m sorry’ look. May is looking at them both with an expression that could make a child cry.

“Go away,” she practically yells at them.

Steve sighs, “I’m sorry, you know how he gets. I tried my best to make him stay home.”

May rests a hand on her hip. “Yeah, that worked out pretty well, huh Steve. Did you not try sex?”

Tony perks up at the mention of sex, “Oh, you bet he did.” He mouths the word ‘twice’ and holds up two fingers, Steve rolls his eyes. May shakes her head knowing there’s no way they’re not just going to stand in the hallway all day, she moves out of the way to let the boys in.

“Put the hoodie back on, we’ve got company,” May says annoyingly as she makes her way back into the kitchen. She begins to put the dishes into the sink when Tony lets out a shriek, almost making May drop a mug.

“Shut up, Pepper!”

“Hi Tony.”

Tony does a double-take, looking at May then Pepper, then May again before letting out a gasp. “Oh my god.”

Steve gently pushes Tony into a seat on the couch, letting him absorb everything his genius brain can handle, before helping May in the kitchen. He’s handing her various plates and forks around the kitchen, eventually getting distracted by Milo who was now sitting on the counter, meowing at Steve to pet him. He happily obliges, a smile plastered across his face as he does.

“Okay! I’m good,” Tony yells as he claps his hands together.

Pepper shakes her head, she looks over his shoulder to see May making another pot of coffee. It only takes a few seconds before May is looking back at Pepper, she mouths an ‘i’m sorry’ with a pouty look. Pepper shrugs before mouthing back, ‘it’s okay’ and blows a kiss. May blushes.

“So how did you two meet?” Tony says as he rests his arm on the couch, leaning closer to Pepper. May is in the living room now, changing the tv channel on the remote to a Will & Grace marathon. She falls into Pepper’s lap, earning a giggle from the blonde and blocks Tony’s view of her. Steve carefully drops Milo into Tony’s lap, he stares at the black cat, still not over yesterday’s incident of scaring him to death. Milo looks at him before jumping down and walking over to Steve, who sat in the corner loveseat. Milo jumps into his lap and comfortably lays down.

Steve smiled, his dimples coming into play as Tony shared a look of jealousy at him. He let out a scoff before bringing his attention back to May and Pepper. Tony let out a cough. “Can I get an answer or is this going to be a bigger mystery than finding out if an actress is gay or not?”

May scoffs, “First of all, we always find out. Second, we met last night at the restaurant. Remember, your guy didn’t show up? Pepper was the waitress.” Tony’s face lit up like a little kid on Christmas. Pepper chuckled as she shook her head. God, Tony was one of a kind, there was certainly no one in the world like him.

“How did it go?” Tony asks as he sits in a criss-cross position, hands clasped together with his chin resting in them. A literal child.

“It was going well until you showed up,” May blurts out as Pepper shushed her. May sighs. “It’s very good.” Pepper rubs her arm up and down May’s in a comforting manner, already feeling how tense and annoyed she is. Something she’ll definitely have to get used too.

Steve snaps his fingers causing everyone to look at him, including Milo who raised a paw at him. “Why don’t you ask Pepper to come home with you for winter break? You said you were bringing someone. Well, here you go.” May looks at Steve with an expression he can’t read, nor understand. She side eyes Pepper, she was definitely not in the position to ask Pepper to come home with her to meet her family. They just met last night and May was in no way ready for her to get caught up in her bullshit, she wanted Pepper to be hers and only hers. She didn’t want her to be a victim to the chaos her family causes, May just wanted to stay in the little happy bubble with her. But eventually the bubble pops and you have to make a new one, oh, what the hell could go wrong.

“What’s he talking about?” Pepper asks, a wave of concern flashes across her faces. May sighs.

“I wasn’t even going to bring it up, Steven,” May angrily says as she looks at Steve, his face is filled with regret the moment May says his full name. He immediately looks down at Milo, petting him softly as he licks Steve’s hand.

“I told my parents I was bringing someone home for winter break, so I told Tony I just need to find someone to fake date until it’s over, it’s only for two days. I was planning on cutting the reunion special early anyway.” Pepper nods her head, taking everything in.

“Okay,” Pepper says.

May raises an eyebrow, “okay what?”

“I’ll do it, I’ll come with you. I’m not doing anything for break. My parents are going to some ski resort upstate. Plus, I’m an only child.”

May hesitates for a moment, her mouth agape. For once, she’s utterly speechless. Her mouth curls up into her mouth, “you know what? Fuck it. Yes.”

Pepper grins, “Let’s make it official. May Parker, will do you the honor of being my fake girlfriend?” She hold out her hand. May smiles.

“Yes, I do, Pepper.” May intertwines their hands together. They stare at one another and Pepper looks at May like she holds all the secrets to the universe and wants to discover all of them, including the hidden ones. It’s no secret May’s a tad bit scared of commitment, but she’s looking at Pepper as if all the stars and moon combined into one single element. It’s barely been twenty-four hours and she knows she wants Pepper in her life.

It’s the day before they head to May’s family home and May is immediately regretting even going. She hasn’t packed yet, and she can’t bring Milo with them because her dad is severely allergic to cats. May rolls her eyes for the third time, Pepper has counted so far, sitting across the island table as May talks to her mother on the phone. May put her on speakerphone so Pepper could hear what the devil incarnated sounds like before meeting her in person.

May mouths ‘blah, blah, blah’ as her mother goes on and on about her cousin getting remarried again. She imitates Darth Vader using the force to choke herself until her mother calls her name.

“May”

“Yeah?”

“Are you listening to me or are you drowning me out by staring at the tv screen?”

May lets out a cough, “no, i’m totally listening. You were talking about Natasha getting remarried.”

“Yes! I can’t believe she’s already getting remarried after divorcing Matthew last year!” May’s mother exclaims. May could hear the annoyance through the phone.

“Well, some people move on fast and I think this is good for Nat, you know how she can be,” May says genuinely, she always defends Natasha.

“I just don’t understand,” her mother trails off and May looks at Pepper. She’s caressing Milo as he’s lies down on the counter, his eyes are closed and purring softly.

“Your dad said you’re bringing someone with you? Is it Ben? I’ve missed him, how is he?” And just like that, May’s entire demeanor is changed, Pepper immediately stops petting Milo to look at May.

“Oh, um, yeah i’m bringing someone but it’s not Ben. We broke up,” May says carefully, almost like she’s stepping on eggshells, one wrong move and it’ll break.

“Oh no, what happened? He was so sweet, May.”

May ran a hand through her brown locks, she pulled on the ends. “I don’t really remember, mom. Listen, I gotta go, I have to start packing.”

“Okay, sweetie. Remember to bring sweaters! It’s cold here!” May hangs up and lets out a heavy sigh as she crosses her arms on the counter, resting her head in them. Pepper is behind her, rubbing her shoulders in a comforting manner, she places a kiss to her hair. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

May lifts her head up and turns to face Pepper, she blows a raspberry. “You really think so? I mean, what you heard was only the beginning of it. We don’t even have to go, we can just stay here or even go to Tony’s.”

Pepper shakes her head, “there’s no way you can get out of this, you promised and you’re going to fulfill it.”

May lets out a groan and crosses her arms over her chest, “fine but you’re helping me pack.” She grabs Pepper’s arm and drags her to the bedroom.

“I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”

They haven’t gotten on the plane yet and May is already dreading this. She hasn’t even had her coffee yet, and it was definitely killing her mood. Steve, the ever so sweetheart, drove the two of them to the airport at the ass crack of dawn. He was already out on his morning run before picking them up and was in the most perky, happiest, mood ever. In the car ride to the airport, Steve was telling them that he let Tony sleep in, knowing how much of a little shit he’s going to be when Steve eventually wakes him up to get on the road to his parents house later in the day.

May’s knee bounced up and down as she waited for their flight to be called, she was getting impatient as she laid her head back on the chair, eyes closed. A sudden cough made May open her eyes, she looked up and saw Pepper standing in front of her, holding two hot cups of coffee. May perked up, her eyes widened. Pepper outstretched May’s cup, their hands touched briefly when May grabbed it. She took a sip and let out a heavenly sigh. Pepper smiled at her as she took a sip of her own, sitting down next to her.

“When do you think our flight will be-”

“Flight 702 to New Hampshire is now boarding,” the announcer yells in a horrible, yet mildly disgusted, tone.

“Never mind,” Pepper chuckles as both of them stand and grab their carry ons . On the plane, they have a row to their selves, Pepper gives May the window seat. It’s a short flight and May falls asleep the entire time, her head resting on Pepper’s shoulder. Pepper doesn’t sleep, she’s too busy reading the book she brought with her and making sure May’s okay. She doesn’t tell May that two people told her they were a cute couple, Pepper smiled and thanked them for their kind words.

May wakes up when the plane touches down on the runway, she looks out the window to see that it’s snowing, she lets out an inaudible groan and turns to see Pepper talking to the flight attendant about the weather. Their conversation ends when she announces they can start exiting the plane.

“Did I sleep the whole flight? I’m sorry.”

Pepper pushes a strand of May’s hair behind her ear, “It’s okay, you were tired. Everyone heard you snoring.” May gasps, “I don’t snore!” Pepper lets out a chuckle as she grabs her bags in one hand and May’s in the other. May smiles.

Natasha is waiting outside the airport for them and May’s entire mood is lightened. She pulls May into a hug and ushers them into her car, instantly cranking the heat up before turning to Pepper, in the backseat. She holds her hand out, “i’m Natasha, May’s favorite cousin.” Pepper shakes her hand. “Very nice to meet you, Natasha.” Natasha smiles and pulls out of her spot and starts driving to their destination, the radio is playing soft music on low.

“Mom told me you’re getting remarried?” May questions once their silence got enough. Natasha smiles and holds out her left hand, the diamond on her finger isn’t big, it’s small, wrapped around a silver band, and it’s just perfect for her. “It’s so simple, I love it,” May says happily as she watches Natasha take another look at it before using said hand to turn on the blinker, making a right turn.

“Do I even want to know who gave it to you?” May says curiously.

A hint of blush appears on Natasha’s face, she clears her throat, “guess.”

May lets out a heavy sigh, “are you kidding me? I haven’t seen you in so long and you’re making me guess! Can you believe this Pep?” May turns in her seat to look at Pepper who pauses for a second, “Is it a woman?”

Natasha doesn’t say anything which essentially means yes, and May lets out a gasp. She repeatedly claps her hands in excitement, “Oh my god yes!” Natasha grins.

“How did you know?” Natasha asks into the rearview mirror, her undivided attention on Pepper. Pepper smiles and she leans forward, resting her arms on her knees. “You look happier, and the ring is simple, yet elegant. It’s not drawing a lot of attention, it’s just right. Plus, you should have cleaned out your car before picking us up because there’s a lace bra back here.”

May laughs loudly as Natasha mumbles ‘fuck’ under her breath. She puts the car into park once they pull into a driveway. May lets out out a deep breath. “Do mom and dad know?

Natasha shakes her head, “not yet. She’s coming over soon. I can’t wait for you to meet her May. You too, Pepper. You’re gonna love her.” May smiles. In all her years she’s known Natasha, she’s never once been this excited for May to meet someone. She’s met her former husband, Matthew, but only on rare occasions. Natasha was never a very open person with her relationship, so this was all new to May, and she likes it. She likes it when Natasha is openly accepting and vulnerable, showing her true colors to people she loves dearly. May can see it in her eyes, the way she talks about her fiancée is so soft and unique, you can see how in love she is. May reaches over the cupholders to pull Natasha into a hug, she instinctively wraps her arms around the smaller woman, burying her head into her shoulder.

“You know I love you,” May mumbles. Natasha smiles into her shoulder, slowly swaying her back and forth. “Of course I do, you dork.” Natasha releases May from her embrace and they exit the car. The snow is coming down hard as they stand outside the front door of May’s parents house. May exhales a shaky breath as Pepper grabs her hand and rubs her knuckles softly.

“You know, we can just run back to the car and get a hotel?”

Natasha gives her a look, “you know we can’t do that. Stop trying to run away.” She opens the front door and the three of them are instantly greeted by warm air and the sound of voices echoing throughout the house. May immediately leads Pepper up the stairs to her former room, the loft a.k.a the attic. Once in the room, May shuts the door, locking it before letting out a breath. Pepper looks around the room, curiosity getting to the best of her as she takes everything in, admiring all of May’s little nicknacks and decor.

“This is where the magic happens,” May says as she slides a hand over her comforter, a sly smirk flashes across her face. Pepper chuckles as she shrugs off her carryon bag, placing it onto the couch in front of the bay window. May’s room is very cozy and simple, Pepper’s eye is immediately drawn to the huge bookcase adjacent to the queen size bed, the books on the shelves are old and new, and of course they’re in alphabetical order. She drags her fingers across the books.

“It took me awhile to finally complete it and a lot of money at thrift bookstores,” May chuckles as Pepper smiles, still taking her time to look at the books, “it’s very impressive.”

There’s a knock at the door and May lets out a groan, she trudges to the door, opening it to reveal Natasha standing next to a petite blonde woman who looks nervous. They don’t bother asking to enter because Natasha grabs the woman and pulls her into the room, taking a seat on the couch. May stares at the empty hallway, flabbergasted, she shuts the door.

“A simple hi would’ve done but okay, what’s up?” May rests her hands on her hips. She gives Pepper, who leans back on the book shelves, a confused look. Natasha grabs the woman’s hand, intertwining them together, her thumb rubs her knuckles. “This is my fiancée, Yelena.”

May lets out a gasp, her mouth agape. She runs over to the two of them and hugs them tightly, Natasha has to pry her arms off of them. May awkwardly chuckles. “Hi Yelena, i’m May. Natasha’s favorite cousin.” She extends an arm out to the blonde. Natasha rolls her eyes, “you’re my only cousin, idiot.”

Yelena shakes May’s hand, “it’s very nice to meet you, May. Nat has told me a lot about you.” May lets out a squeak, “you let her call you Nat! That’s so cute! No one in the family is allowed to call her that.”

“It’s true,” Natasha says as she shrugs her shoulders. She pulls Yelena in closer, making her comfortable as she lays back on Natasha’s chest, pressing a kiss to her hair. May grins, she extends a hand out to Pepper, pulling her to the bed. They lay back against the many pillows on the bed.

“This is Pepper, my girlfriend,” May says to Yelena, they both wave to one another. Natasha gives May a look, like she trying to figure something out but, May shrugs it off.

“Your mom’s looking for you,” Natasha says when she’s putting Yelena’s hair into a French braid. Yelena smiles at her through the mirror next to them. May lets out an incoherent groan and drops her head back on the headboard, banging it slightly. “Did you see her?” May looks at Natasha.

“Yep,” Natasha says as a small chuckle escapes her lips. Yelena turns to look at Natasha, “tell her, please.” A smile is across her face in a flash. May immediately sits upright, “tell me what?” She’s curious, along with Pepper who imitates her.

“Melina had already met Yelena a couple days ago, and she’s really happy so I thought it would be the same with your mom so,” Natasha is interrupted by May letting out yet, another groan, “let me finish telling the story you little shit.” A pout forms across May’s face. Pepper kisses her cheek, and the pout disappears.

“So I introduce Yelena to your mom and she said,” Natasha laughs, along with Yelena. She takes a breath to get regain her composure, “she said it’s so nice of you to bring your gal pal with you, the matching rings are adorable!” May cackles loudly to the point where she’s clenching her stomach and repeatedly hitting Pepper, who’s covering her mouth with her hand to subdue her laughter.

“Shut the fuck up! You’re lying!” She blurts out as she takes a deep breath.

“I swear to god May, Yelena can vouch for me,” Natasha gestures towards Yelena who nods her head and wipes a tear from her eye.

“I told you it would be a nightmare,” May whispers to Pepper, turning to look at her. Pepper tucks a strand of brown hair behind May’s ear as she looks into May’s eyes. Pepper can tell she’s nervous and scared to show it, “you did. Many, many, times but i’m here, so it’ll be okay and if not then there’s always a hotel.” May leans into her and Pepper places a soft kiss onto her forehead, May smiles.

After an hour of catching up, Natasha and Yelena retreat to their room, they already had dinner and May felt bad for keeping Pepper all cooped up in her room. It’s after eight pm when they ascend down to the kitchen, May heats up whatever leftovers the family had for dinner as Pepper grabs two sodas from the fridge. A light flickers on and they freeze in place. “If you were hungry you could’ve just came down for dinner like everyone else, May.”

May curses under her breath, “hi, mom.” A fake smile flashes across her face and Pepper knows this because May’s real, genuine, smile causing those cute dimples that she loves so much. “And you must be Pepper, hi i’m Claire Parker. It’s so nice to meet one of May’s friends other than that Stark boy.”

Pepper shakes her hand, “yeah, Tony can be a bit of a handful.”

May takes out their leftovers from the microwave when it beeps, grabs two forks and walks past her mother, “actually, Pepper and I are together, you know like Natasha and Yelena, except without the rings.” An expression flashes across Claire’s face that neither Pepper nor May can read.

“Oh, okay. You gals have fun. I’m just going to make some tea,” Claire says as she turns on the stove, boiling water in the teapot. May lets out a deep breath, she clenches her fist in her free hand not holding the takeout and forks. “I don’t know what century you’re in but, no one says gal pals anymore, and it’s quite an out of date term and i’m not sure you think you’re saying it correctly.”

Claire gives May a confused expression, “of course, I am. You’re girlfriends.”

Pepper now understands why May didn’t want to come home, she’s also feeling a tad bit uncomfortable as the tension in the room has reached a higher level. May is resisting the urge to slap herself across the face, how was she related to this person.

“No, mom, I-“ May pauses. She mumbles ‘fuck it’ under her breath and licks her lips. “Pepper and I are together as in we kiss and have sex and go on dates like everyone else. The same way as you and dad do. The same why Natasha and Yelena do, it’s normal.”

Claire’s face is as white as a ghost and she doesn’t say anything for a solid minute which means it’s a good time to run upstairs and eat, and they do exactly that. May and Pepper climb the insane amount of stairs back to May’s room, sit on the couch by the window and eat as they look out the window at the stars. It’s silent for a moment, they’re eating as May’s record player is quietly blasting a spice girls record.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Pepper says once the silence got enough for her, she looks up from her container of food to see May smiling. “I didn’t think I would do it but it just got so frustrating. We can leave tomorrow if you want, i’m sure I can get Natasha and Yelena on board.”

“Don’t you have family staying over the weekend?” Pepper questions as she snatches an egg roll out of May’s takeout dish. May gasps and shrugs it off, it’s only food.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen most of them since last break, but i’d rather just spend it with Natasha and you.”

Pepper looks up at May after taking a bite of her egg roll, “I’m in, whatever it is you want to do.” May cheeks turn a light shade of pink and she smiles. She smiles the real, genuine one, cute dimples and all, that makes Pepper’s heart beat fast in her chest, it echos in her ears.

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” May puts her now empty container onto the coffee table, she sits in a criss cross position and leans forward towards Pepper. “Tell me something about you. I want to know everything.”

Pepper tilted her head, pausing for a moment to think, “I wanted to be a vet when I was younger. I loved animals, still do, so much until I realized going to school for almost seven years seemed too excessive.” May smiled at the thought of Pepper being a vet, helping animals, making sure they’re happy and healthy.

“That’s cute. I always knew I wanted to do something with my love of books, whether I decide to become a writer or open up my own bookstore, it’s where I truly feel like myself, when I’m surrounded by books and of course, Milo.”

Pepper rests her chin in her hand, she looks at May as she talks about her love for books and writing and what she could do. She notices that May talks with her hands a lot, they’re constantly moving in different directions when she speaks, making her point across. Pepper also notices there’s a tiny twinkle in her eyes when she talks about anything she loves and Pepper decides right then and there that she has moved from the like stage of their relationship to love, and it was going to be difficult.

May lets out a yawn, breaking Pepper’s train of thought. She gets up from her seat, shuts the record player off and grabs a pair of pajamas from the wardrobe. She changes into them, not caring if Pepper sees, they already had sex. May lazily braids her hair as Pepper changes into her own pajamas.

Pepper’s flannel pajama set is far more gracious looking than May’s old Beatles shirt and some boxers. They throw out the empty containers, shut the lights off, and are immersed in the softness of the sheets and comforter. May turns on her side, she pulls the comforter up to her chest, and faces Pepper. The blonde imitates her, they stare at each other as the moonlight shines through the window onto their face. May’s tongue pokes out, wetting her lips, before whispering, “Did you know that the moon is a lesbian?”

Pepper covers her mouth with her hand as she laughs. She takes a brief pause to collect her breath. “Are you serious, who told you?”

May raises her eyebrows, “Um, everyone knows. The moon and the sun are lesbians, they’re together.” Pepper nods her head, “yes, what was I thinking? They definitely are.” She didn’t know much about the moon and sun, even the stars, but what she did know was that May was very enthusiastic about the moon being a lesbian and Pepper didn’t have the heart to tell her what she thought of it.

“It’s just a theory, I’ll let you sleep on it.” May says before giving Pepper a sweet, soft, kiss and turning the other way to get some sleep. Pepper freezes, she didn’t expect that at all. She mumbles out, “Night, May.”

The bedroom door barges open, it smacks against the wall. May instinctively sits upright in bed, her hair is disheveled and eyes are still closed, and Pepper is still soundly sleeping.

“What,” May mumbles out, eyes still closed, her voice is hoarse.

“Breakfast is ready,” Natasha says as she leans her back on the doorway frame “I’m not leaving until you get up.”

May lets out a groan, she runs a hand through her hair and gets up quietly from the bed without waking Pepper. She takes one last look at the sleeping blonde and follows Natasha down the stairs. It’s suspiciously quiet for a Saturday morning in the Parker household, besides the tv in the next room playing the news on blast, it made May feel a little on edge. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes as Natasha immediately grabs the already made coffee pot and sits in the empty chair next to Yelena.

Natasha hands May a mug, she pours the steaming dark goodness into it, adding a touch of creamer and sugar before taking a sip and letting out a content sigh. There’s a variety of breakfast foods scattered along the island table. Eggs, pancakes, bacon, and toast. Even some boxes of cereal and bowls of fruit.

May rolled her eyes, her parents always go all out when they get together and there was only eight of them currently in the house. Three of said eight were currently sleeping. Claire hasn’t even acknowledged May’s presence yet, occasionally sipping her coffee and looking over at the newspaper her dad was currently reading. May let out a huff and piled some of everything onto a platter, she grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it with orange juice and set it onto the tray. She lifted it up and began to walk back upstairs to her bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Claire called out. May bit the inside of her cheek.

“Upstairs. Pepper’s still sleeping, so I thought I would surprise her with breakfast in bed or is it mandatory to eat in the kitchen now?”

“That’s very sweet, kiddo,” May’s dad, Ed, said as he licked his finger and turned a page in the paper. A half smile appeared on May’s face, she ascended up the stairs when no one objected, though May knew as soon as her back was turned her mother had a stern look on her face.

Natasha and Yelena sat quietly watching May walk up the stairs. Yelena gave Nat a look, almost asking if we should follow but Natasha shakes her head. She broke off a piece of pancake, dipped it in syrup and took a bite. Yelena craned her neck to look at May’s mother, she felt a sense of uneasiness but discarded it when Natasha threw a berry at her.

“Why?” Yelena asked when Natasha threw a second berry.

“Because I wanted too,” Natasha argued back, instead of throwing another fruit, she popped it into her mouth. Yelena stared at her, her nose scrunching up.

“If you keep doing that i’m going to kiss you,” Natasha said as she scooted closer to Yelena, her arm rested on the back of Yelena’s chair. Yelena moved closer, she reached over to wrap an arm around Natasha but moved it at the last second to grab a strawberry off her plate. Natasha let out a small fake gasp before smiling, she knew what Yelena was going to do before she even did it. It was a little thing that Yelena loved, like Natasha was part witch or something, she had a sixth sense.

“No PDA in the kitchen please,” Ed said without even looking up from his newspaper as he did the crossword of the day. Natasha rolled her eyes, “we weren’t doing anything, uncle Ed.”

“Oh, I know, but who knows what happens after the kitchen gets covered in fruit, I definitely don’t.” Natasha let out a chuckle. She cups Yelena’s face with her hand and gives her an eskimo kiss, Yelena lets out a giggle.

May shuts the door quietly behind her as she places the tray of food onto the table. She walks over to Pepper’s side of the bed and places a kiss on her forehead, Pepper stirs and mumbles, “Why are you giving me kisses, no one’s around.” May chuckles, “that makes it even better.”

“I brought up breakfast since you wanted to sleep a little late.” May leaves Pepper’s side to bring the tray over onto the bed, Pepper is immediately woken up by the warm, delicious smells of food. Her stomach rubbles. “First of all,” she lets out a yawn. “You didn’t wake me up so don’t blame it on me, sweet cheeks.”

Pepper ties her messy bed hair into a ponytail as she sips her orange juice and cuts into her pancake. It’s covered in syrup and completely lathered in butter, just the way she likes it.

“What are we doing today?’ Pepper asks after she takes a bite. She pops a pre-cut strawberry into her mouth.

May takes a sip of her coffee. “I’m not sure, maybe we’ll go to a museum or just hang out.” Pepper nods her head. They sit in silence as Pepper eats her breakfast. Occasionally May will steal some fruit out of the bowl, earning a glare from the blonde. Pepper lets out a huff as she sits back, she’s content and in a slight food coma, it’s good though. May stares at her and raises an eyebrow in her direction before standing up, taking two long strides to the dresser and grabbing an outfit for the day.

“I’m heading to the shower,” May suggests as she walks towards the door, “unless you want to save time and water.” She raises both eyebrows up and down. A small smirk appears on Pepper’s face, she licks her lips.

“Love to, sweet cheeks. But, I’m afraid I can’t get up, due to the food coma that has overcome me. Raincheck?” A pout forms on May’s face, “okay.” And she’s out the door. Pepper lays her head back onto the pillows, closing her eyes as her nose scrunches up and a sigh escapes her lips.

“You should’ve went,” Natasha calls out.

Pepper looks up and sees Natasha with her arms crossed, hair braided, standing against the wall. She’s dressed like Lara Croft, black jeans and leather jacket. Pepper gets up from the warm, comfortable bed, to her suitcase, pulling out an outfit.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll make it up to her,” Pepper says as she stands awkwardly holding her clothes in her crossed arms.

“This has nothing to do with morning shower sex but please don’t hurt her. She can overthink anything and is a little fragile.”

“I won’t. You can count on me to pick up any broken pieces that have fallen,” Pepper swears as she places a hand on her chest. Natasha looks at her, almost stunned, maybe her little cousin finally found someone who equals her.

“Well we’re going to the museum today, because I don’t think anyone wants to be in this house right now,” Natasha nods her head and walks way, leaving Pepper alone to get dressed. She’s half naked in just her bra and pajama bottoms when May comes back into her room, towel wrapped around her body and her brown hair is dripping wet down her back.

“Oh,” May says as her cheeks flush, she shuts the door behind her. “I thought you were going to shower after me.”

Pepper shakes her head, “dry shampoo does wonders.” She chuckles. “I’ll do it tonight, you did say you wanted a raincheck.”

May does a double-take, “You’re right, I did say that.” She smirks as she pulls her jeans over her tan, skinny, legs.

“I always am,” A now dressed Pepper says as she runs a hand through her hair. She turns around to see May standing in front of her mirror, admiring herself. Pepper smiles as May turns around.

“Let’s go,” she says as she glides past Pepper and out the bedroom door.

The four of them exit Natasha’s car and head to the museum, it’s not as grand as the one in New York, it has its perks and small flaws. Natasha grabbed Yelena’s hand and drags her in the opposite direction May and Pepper are going. “We’ll see you at the gift shop later!” She called out over her shoulder. Yelena sent the two women a sympathetic smile.

May let out a groan, “of course she wouldn’t want to keep the buddy system in place.” She opened the museum map and began to walk towards the art section, Pepper followed.

“It’s alright. They just want to do their own thing. C’mon,” Pepper smiles as she links her arm around May’s. They’re standing in a gigantic room, paintings scatter the walls in various directions and Pepper’s eyes are immediately fixated on a flower portrait. She stand in front of it, her hand rests on her chin.

“Whatcha thinking about?” May asks as she slides next to Pepper, her eyes move back and forth from the painting to Pepper.

“The colors in this blend almost like a sunset. See here,” she points. “The way the purple moves into the blue then fades into green and so on so forth.” May nods her head. It’s this moment she really wished focused during art class she had to take as an elective.

“I take it you like art?” May asks as they move down the line of paintings, staying in sync with Pepper.

“Yes, very much.”

“God, you and Steve would get along so great,” May says drastically as she looks at the map.

“Why’s that?’ Pepper asked curiously. She tilted her head to the side.

“Because Steve’s an artist, or at least trying to become one. He’s fascinated by it to the point where his apartment is filled with paintings, old and new, unfinished and completed. It’s really remarkable to see someone with their life together and completely immersed in their work.” May frowns and shamelessly tilts her head down to the floor. She walks towards the next set of paintings. Pepper’s eyebrows furrow, she’s not sure how to respond to the truth hidden between the lines. She lets out a breath and follows May.

It’s quiet in the museum besides the soft, elegant, classical music playing throughout the room. May and Pepper don’t speak for a moment until they reach another exhibit, the statues. May’s demeanor has completely changed. She pulls out a camera that Pepper had no idea she brought with her. May ran over to an open bench and rolled back the camera. She disposed the film into it, slow and steady, and snapped it shut. The sound of the camera rolling film was pure, soothingness, to Pepper’s ears. It was equivalent to a wave coming to the shore or the sound of coffee pouring into a mug. With a content sigh, May looked up at Pepper and smiled.

May jumped up from the bench, rolling back and forth on the heels of her shoes. She ushers Pepper to stand by the statue. “Imitate it please.”

With her mouth now agape, Pepper drops her bag next to May and immediately does what she’s told. The statue’s arms are slightly crossed with one another and her head is tilted up, showing off her jawline and collarbones. Once Pepper is in position, May adjusts the zoom and clicks the shutter. “Nice,” May says as she rolls the film. “Come on.” Pepper blinks and nods her head, she grabs her bag and follows the petite brunette.

They spend the next forty minutes lost in one another’s presence and taking photos of the statues while also recreating some of them with the help of a very nice bystander. By the time they’re done, it’s time to meet Natasha and Yelena at the gift shop. Natasha is talking indistinctly to Yelena, May can see that Yelena has a bag of goodies, no doubt in her mind Natasha bought her it.

“Did you guts have a good time?” Yelena asks as she pulls her bag tighter around her shoulder and leans into Natasha.

Pepper nods her head, “Yes, I loved it.” She pauses to glance at May and clears her throat. “The art was beautiful, this was a lot of fun.”

A small smirk appears on Natasha’s face, “good. Let’s go.”

May lets out a groan, “Awe, come on. I don’t want to go home just yet.”

Natasha sighs, “you know we have to go back eventually. You can’t keep hiding in your room until you leave tomorrow night.”

“I can try,” May mutters under her breath as she follows them to the car. Pepper rubs May’s shoulder in a calmly manner.

“I heard that,” Natasha calls out over her shoulder. May rolls her eyes because of course Natasha did. She probably, no definitely, has a sixth sense, May thinks.

They’re back again in the driveway and May just wants to stay in the car. She hates confrontation and she knows it’s only going to get worse. Maybe she can leave early, she thought. No, that would do no one good. Natasha and Yelena exit the car and head towards the house when May pauses in her step before entering. Pepper’s next to her, holding her hand. Getting a weird sense of deja vu.

“It’s alright if you want to leave tonight instead of tomorrow.” Pepper looks at her with concern, her eyebrows furrow. May sighs and says nothing when they enter the warm house. Her mother has definitely been baking as the smell of chocolate and cinnamon flow throughout the house. There’s a roar of laugher coming from the living room.

Natasha takes a pause when she sees Melina and Alexei sitting on the couch with May’s dad. They’re in the middle of a game of chess and a bottle of bourbon has been opened, the bottle is empty halfway. “Um, hi,” Natasha says and their attention is immediately drawn from the chessboard to her.

“Natasha!” Melina says as she gets up from her seat to hug Natasha. Natasha doesn’t know if she should hug her back or remain stiff as a board. “I told you we would come. Hello Yelena.”

“Hello,” Yelena responds as she glances at Natasha. The expression on Natasha’s face is hard to read. Yelena doesn’t know if she should comfort or drag her away from the scene in front of them. Behind them, May and Pepper lean their heads in the room to see what the commotion is and May’s eyes widen. “Those are Natasha’s adopted parents,” she whispers to Pepper. Pepper nods her head. “We heard you were going to be here for the holidays so we thought we would surprise you,” Melina says as she glances back at Alexei, who is taking a gulp of his cold, bourbon, glass. Natasha swallows and clears her throat. “Not that I’m happy to see you, but you didn’t have to come here. We would be with you for the holidays anyway.”

Melina’s eyebrows furrow, “I thought you would be excited to see us. It’s our first Christmas here and it’s been so long since we saw our dear niece, May.” She pauses to look around for the brunette and her eyes land on May slowly sneaking upstairs with Pepper. “May!”

May sighs and turns back around with a smiles on her face, “Hi aunt Melina.” Melina embraces May and rubs her shoulders. “It’s so good to see you dear, how are you?”

May is taken back by the question. Ever since she arrived home, no one has asked her that and she is once again reminded why she likes Melina more than her own flesh and blood mom. May sniffles.

“I’m doing my best, aunt Melina. Um, this is Pepper, my girlfriend. Pepper, this is aunt Melina, Natasha’s mom.” May says as she glances at Natasha, who is sneaking away with Yelena to another room.

“Hi Pepper, it’s so good to meet you” Melina outstretches a hand to her. “How are you enjoying our cold weather? I bet it’s a bit upscale from New York.” Pepper softly shakes her hand, she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s definitely colder than New York but nothing I can’t handle. Actually, I quite like it.” Pepper says honestly. She doesn’t know where this sudden burst of confidence and truth came out. Maybe it has something to do with the way Melina does things and asks the right questions.

“That’s wonderful to hear. I can’t wait to tell you more once we have gotten settled,” Melina is interrupted by Alexei yelling at Ed, she rolls her eyes. “I have to go calm him down before things get out of hand again. I’ll see you girls later.” As quickly as she came to them, Melina is next to Alexei, rubbing his arm calmly.

May exhales, “there, you met Melina. I think that’s everyone besides by brother and sister who,” May pauses for a second to overlook the living room and part of the kitchen, “who, aren’t even here.” May rubs a hand over her face, she was starting to get tired of her family.

“If my mom and I don’t make up tonight then we’re hopping on the first plane out, is that alright with you?” May asks Pepper, she looks up at her, there’s almost tears in May’s eyes.

“Come on,” Pepper says as she grabs May’s hand. Together they walk up the stairs to May’s room and shut the door. Both of them let out a gasp when they see Natasha and Yelena sitting on the couch.

“I thought you guys were still downstairs,” May questions as she sits on the bed, Pepper following.

“How did you forget your house has more than one set of staircase in it? It truly baffles me that i’m here more than you are,” Natasha says as she plays with Yelena’s hand, instinctively drawing circles on it.

“Yeah, well, don’t take that as a compliment or let it go straight to your head,” May argues back. She leans her head back onto the pillows.

“Do you want to tell or should I?” Pepper whispers. May turns her head towards her, “No, I can”

“Anything you’d like to share with the class, Parker?” Natasha says with an eyebrow raised.

“If mom and I don’t make up tonight, we’re leaving,” May says calmly as she intertwines a finger with Pepper’s, locking it together. Yelena’s eyebrows raise and she cranes her neck to look at Natasha.

“Are you sure?” Natasha asks in a concerning voice, surprising May.

“Yeah. I’m tired of it, I just want to go home, be in my bed and see Milo. I knew I should’ve gone to Tony's.” May angrily says as she hits her head back down onto the soft pillows.

Yelena was about to open her mouth but Natasha beat her to it, “Milo is her cat.” Yelena nods her head and closes her mouth, smiling.

“We have a cat too. A white cat named Luna,” Yelena says smiling.

“She hates me,” Natasha says with a straight face.

“No, she doesn’t,” Yelena looks at her defensively as Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Awe, we can have cat playdates,” May says grinning and definitely doesn’t miss the awful, horrid, look flashing across Natasha’s face.

Yelena laughs. “I’m so down for that. We need to set up at date.”

“No.” Natasha immediately says.

“Yes.”

May clears her throat, “can I just ask-“

“No,” Natasha says once again. “We’re not talking about why they’re here. I have no idea. I didn’t ask them, neither did Yelena.”

May nods her head, “okay, good.”

“Good,” Natasha repeats as she rubs a hand across her forehead, trying to relieve the sudden tension she had.

There’s a knock on May’s door.

“Yeah?” May calls out.

Ed pokes his head in with his eyes closed when he opens the door, “is everyone decent?”

Natasha chuckles, “yes, uncle Ed.”

“Oh, good,” Ed opens his eyes. “Dinner’s ready.” He turns to head back down the stairs before pausing to turn back to May.

“May, it’s okay with me if you want to go back to New York. I know you’ve only been here a short time but, it was nice to have you back home, kiddo.” He smiles and trudges down the staircase. May sighs and thinks to herself, he’s definitely a spy or has cameras everywhere.

Dinner that evening is quiet, the tension in the air is thick. Melina helped Claire make pasta, even their homemade sauce. It was delicious and very comforting. Alexei and Ed talked amongst themselves, discussing various things from cars to the economy. The girls sit at the booth, Natasha and Yelena sat in during breakfast, while the other adults claimed the island.

Melina, who sat the closest to them, turned in her seat. “So Pepper,” Pepper pauses, her forkful of penne froze midair. “How did you meet May?” May glances at Pepper.

Pepper places her fork back into her bowl, “we met through Tony, one of May’s closest friends. He introduced us and the rest was history.” Pepper smiles.

Melina nods her head, “very cute. Tony as in Tony Stark?”

“Yes,” May says this time, allowing Pepper to continue to eat her pasta. “You met him, I think, last year when we came over for Christmas. It was the year Natasha got sick.”

Melina’s face lit up, “yes! I remember, he was very sweet. He helped me bake cookies and talked about a boy named Steve, whom he had a crush on.”

May smiled, “they’re together now. They’re disgustingly adorable.” May sticks her tongue out before taking a bite of bread.

“That makes me so happy to hear! Alexei, dear."

Alexei pauses his conversation with Ed and focuses his attention on his wife, “yeah?”

“You remember last Christmas when May brought home her friend Tony?”

Alexei face also lights up, “of course! I told him he needed to grow more, he’s uncomfortably short for his age. How is he doing May?” He cranes his neck to look at May from over Melina’s shoulder.

“He’s doing very well, he’s trying to get into business while working part-time at a garage. And as I told Melina, he’s with Steve now. I think they’re going on almost a year together, right, Pepper?” Pepper nods her head.

“Get outta here!” Alexei exclaims. “That’s wonderful. Please tell him I wish him all the best, I hope one day we can meet Steve.”

“I’ll pass it along, uncle Alexei. You can count on me,” May says smiling as she takes a sip of water. She glances up at Natasha and Yelena who can sense a relief coming from May, more like a breath of fresh air. It’s extremely comforting for all of them in their little booth.

A pair of utensils clattering onto a plate makes everyone jump in their seats, except for Ed, who continues eating and is definitely used to this annoying behavior from his wife by now. Claire stands up, her chair screeches on the hardwood floor, she puts her dish into the sink and heads towards the living room. The tv echos throughout the first floor of the house.

Ed lets out a heavy sigh and excuses himself from the kitchen, he follows in his wife’s footsteps while absentmindedly scratching the back of his neck. Melina and Alexei side eye one another before they continue eating, occasionally grabbing more bread from the bowl.

May lets out a puff of hair, a strand of hair blows. She pushes her pasta bowl away from her and crosses her arms over her chest. Natasha looks at her sympathetically, she reaches across the table, palm facing up. May looks at it before putting her own hand on top, Natasha rubs her hand with her thumb, in a circling motion. Pepper leans over and places a kiss on May’s temple.

“If you want to go, we can go,” Pepper whispers. May nods her head and gets up from her seat, she takes the semi-empty bowls to the sink. As she pushes back her hair from her face and ties it onto a low ponytail, she turns back to Melina and Alexei.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t spend more time together. I hope you’ll come to New York soon and we can do something, maybe i’ll cook and bust out the card games,” May says as she laughs uncomfortably.

Melina nods her head, “I would love that May, thank you. Definitely stock up on beer for this guy,” she nudges Alexei who raises his glass.

“I’ll keep my schedule open,” May responds before signaling the girls to head upstairs. They pause in their steps when yelling is louder than the tv.

“I don’t want to hear it Claire. I’m tired of it and getting annoyed every second,” Ed exclaims.

“You’re tired of it? Tired of what exactly, me telling you how I feel?” Claire says back, hostile as usual. May rolls her eyes.

“Tired of you treating May and your niece like this,” Ed gestures his hands out. “Like they’re not human beings, they are, and one of them is your flesh and blood. Have you even talked to Pepper since she’s been here, besides the hello from yesterday? Cause I have. She’s incredibly smart and I can see how much our May means to her.” Ed argues back.

May looks at Pepper, who’s eyebrows are furrow. Pepper may have forgot to mention that she did talk to Ed when she came down for lunch. May grabs her hand and kisses her knuckle. Natasha and Yelena continue up the stairs while Pepper and May linger for a minute.

“Change our attitude and mindset, even the way you treat everyone in this house. I’m sleeping in the guest room for the time being.” It’s quiet for a moment until Ed’s footsteps are being heard and he’s standing on the bottom step of the stairs, looking up at May and Pepper. A smile appears on his face and he puts a hand on May’s shoulder, rubbing it in a comfortingly. The three of them head upstairs, Pepper continues walking while May and Ed stop at the landing.

“Have a safe flight, kiddo. Please call me when you get home.”

“Will do, dad. And, um, thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” May says when Ed pulls her into a hug. She feels a little uncomfortable with the sudden affection, something she’s not used to since she was a child. She hugs him back, wrapping her arms around his torso. He pulls away after a full minute.

“Remember what I said,” Ed says while pointing at her, smiling, and enters the guest bedroom. May chuckles and throws her arms up in the arm and brings them back down while letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding it.

May enters her room when Pepper is packing her suitcase, she’s folding her clothes neatly, making sure they fit perfectly. “You know the t.s.a agents don’t credit you for how well you pack your suitcase?”

Pepper chuckles, “is it a crime to have everything neat for when I unpack at home? No.” May shakes her head and starts packing.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I talked to your dad while I had lunch and you were with Natasha. It slipped my mind,” Pepper confesses while looking at May throwing her clothes into her suitcase.

“It’s okay, you don’t need my permission to talk to anyone. I appreciate you talking to him. Please tell me he didn’t dive into his dad talk or completely overshare about my childhood,” May pleads as she holds her hands together, praying. Pepper smiles, “Yes, he talked about you but, nothing bad I promise.”

May smiles as she zips her suitcase shut. She reaches down to grab her carryon and puts her necessary items in it, including the book she wanted to read but never got the chance to. Pepper puts her coat on, not caring that the outfit she wore, a pair of leggings and a hoodie, didn’t match. She lifts her hair that got stuck under the collar and turns to May. “Ready?”

May has her coat on and throws her carryon over her shoulder. “As I’ll ever be.” They walk down the stairs, suitcases in tow.

“Hey, wait, who bought our plane tickets?” May asks with an eyebrow raise.

“Your dad,” Pepper says enthusiastically as she looks at her feet, worrying she might tumble down the flight of stairs.

May smiles and mumbles, ‘of course’ under her breath.

At the bottom of the stairs is Melina and Alexei, they embrace the two girls in hugs. May promises Melina she’ll call her when they get home to arrange when they can get together, because let’s face it, they need a redo of this Christmas break.

As they head out the door, Claire gives them no attention, her sole focus is the reruns of criminal minds. Pepper shakes her head. Natasha opens her trunk and helps them put the suitcases in it. The door closes shut and they’re in the car. Natasha starts the engine and before she can pull out of the driveway, Ed comes out of the house, yelling, “wait!”

May rolls down her window, “yeah, dad?”

Ed stops in front, pausing to catch his breathe even though the distance between the front door and driveway was no longer than eight feet.

“This is for you,” he hands her a present wrapped in red paper and a bow on top, “Merry early Christmas, May.” He smiles. May’s eyes widen and her eyebrows raise high enough that she has lines on her forehead. “Open it when you get home or even at the airport,” Ed says before sending May one last smile and running back into the house.

“What was that about?” Natasha asks as she looks into the mirror, pulling out of the driveway.

“A present,” May says smiling as she rubs her hands over the wrapping paper.

“Great, so you get one early while we have to wait until tomorrow,” Natasha says sarcastically as she turns right.

“Are you going to open it?” Yelena asks May, turning in her seat.

“Later, I will,” May replies as she glances at Pepper.

Natasha puts the car in park when they arrive at the airport. There’s a sudden realization between the four of them that this could be the last time they see one another, until Natasha’s wedding, at least. Natasha doesn’t say anything when she exits the car and pops the trunk open for May and Pepper to grab their luggage.

May sets her luggage on the concrete and immediately grabs Natasha in for a hug, the redhead instinctively wraps her arms around May’s petite form. She buries her head in May’s neck.

“You know you’re my maid of honor, right?” Natasha mumbles against May’s neck and May lets out a sob and laughs.

“Of course, I know. Who else puts up with your shit?” This time Natasha laughs, a real genuine one. They pull away slowly and dry their tears with the end of their jackets and laugh. “Promise to call me?” Natasha says as she extends out her pinky finger. May nods her head and wraps her own finger around Natasha’s, they shake. May turns her head to see Pepper and Yelena exchanging numbers and talking quietly amongst themselves.

“She’s a good one, I hope you keep her,” Natasha nods her head in Pepper’s direction. May licks her lips and smiles, “I plan too.”

May waves over to Pepper, “we better get going.” Pepper nods her head. “It was nice to meet you Yelena. I hope you know you have a long road ahead with this one” May nudges Natasha’s arm. Natasha glares at her.

“Oh, I know. I’ll enjoy it,” Yelena says with a grin on her face.

“And that’s our cue to go. Goodbye, I love you,” May exclaims as she blows the two of them a kiss. Natasha imitates her before pulling out of the spot.

“You ready?” Pepper says once she’s next to May at the check-in line. She instinctively reaches out for May’s hand and intertwines their hands together.

“Yes,” May says without a beat. She kisses Pepper’s knuckle and they’re off back to New York.

It’s only nine-thirty when they’re in a taxi headed out of the city when May begins to question where they’re going. She does a double take before asking Pepper, the right and only question, “Where are we going?” To which Pepper responds with, “just relax and you’ll see when we get there.” May sighs and leans her head against the headrest, she slowly begins to drift off. With the day she had she at least deserved some sleep. Another thirty minutes pass and May is awaken by the car door shutting, she jumps in her seat and rubs her sleepy eyes. Pepper opens the door for her and unbuckles her seatbelt. May feels like a little kid when her parents used to wake her up after a long car ride and carry her into the house. No way is she allowing Pepper to carry her. “I’m alright,” she says once she gets her bearings. Pepper nods her head.

“C’mon, I’m sure they’ll want to see you,” Pepper says as she hands both of their luggage to a man at the front steps. May raises an eyebrow when she steps out of the taxi, she’s about to pay the driver when Jarvis steps up to do it for them. May’s eyes widened. She wants to squeal but she knows it’s late and she definitely didn’t want to wake up the whole neighborhood. Jarvis turns to face them when the driver pulls away from the sidewalk.

“Good evening miss Parker,” Jarvis says in his wonderful British tone that May absolutely adores every time she hears it. May is hugging Jarvis faster than Pepper can blink. The tall man smiles and imitates her, wrapping an arm around her neck. May breathes in his scent, a smell of cherries and a hint of scotch. They pull away and walk in arm and arm towards the house, Pepper follows closely behind, smiling to herself.

“I’ll have you know miss Parker that I have missed our weekly board games. I can play a mean game of poker.”

“Oh, don’t I know it, J. You always beat me but, never at checkers. That’s my speciality.” May says as she winks back at Pepper.

Pepper’s never been inside the Stark family home before and it’s much more beautiful than she imagined. It’s like it was taken straight out of a renaissance painting and fused with modern elements.

“Beautiful, is it not?” Jarvis says, breaking Pepper’s train of thought.

She clears her throat. “Yes, it is.” She extends a hand out to him. “I’m Pepper Potts, we spoke on the phone.”

“Yes, of course, miss Potts. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.” Jarvis shakes her hand before reaching over to grab the phone.

“Tony, you have company. Can you and mister Rogers please come down.” Jarvis nods his head and hangs up. He turns to the girls. “Would any of you like some tea? We have every kind.”

“Yes!” May exclaims as she follows Jarvis to the kitchen, dragging along Pepper. “Jarvis makes the best tea, you’ll love it.”

“I’m sure I will,” Pepper responds with a smile on her face.

Jarvis starts up the teapot by pouring water into it and setting it onto the stove, igniting it. He takes two tea cups and sets them next to the stove, a teabags in each. As the teapot heats up and begins to whistle, Tony and Steve enter the kitchen. Tony’s eyes widen as he runs to them, hugging both of them tightly. Steve smiles with his arms crossed against his chest.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were home,” Tony questions May, a concerned look plasters his face. He rubs her shoulder in a comforting manner.

“Not now okay? They just got here,” Jarvis says suddenly when he pours, now four cups of tea.

“Yes, sir,” Tony says as he sits next down to May.

Jarvis adds honey to every cup and slides one to each of them. “There are some lemon squares on the counter, feel free to take as much as you like. Tony, mister Rogers, miss Parker, and miss Potts, it’s been a pleasure. I bid you all a goodnight.”

“Thank you, Jarvis” They all say in unison, and that makes Jarvis grin.

Steve slides in next to Pepper, he blows on his cup of tea before taking a sip of it. “Thank you for calling me. He was getting worried about the two of you going to May’s home. I’m glad you cut it short.”

“Anytime, Steve. I mean it. I should be the one thanking you, not the other way around.”

“I’ll take you up on that anytime, starting now,” Steve lets out a chuckle.

“How was your weekend before we crashed yours? Sorry,” Pepper says shamefully as she sips her tea.

“It’s been great, Tony’s parents aren’t home and—“ Pepper raises and eyebrow and smirks. “hey! None of that.” Pepper chuckles. “Anyway, it’s been really good getting to know Jarvis. He’s really the best, I finally see what Tony’s been talking about all this time.”

“That’s really great, Steve. You got the approval of the highest person on Tony’s list of who he truly cares about. The second being you, then May and me.” Steve smiles bashfully.

“Thanks, Pepper. I appreciate it.”

“Hey,” Tony suddenly says making Pepper and Steve look in his direction. “What are you two talking about that’s making Steve go as red and hot as his tea?” Steve chuckles.

“Nothing that concerns you, sweetheart.”

“Oh, god,” May gags before taking a bite of a lemon bar.

“Oh, shut up Parker, you’re much worse.” Tony says as he drinks his tea in slight disgust. Tony wouldn’t dare say he hates it because he does. He just couldn’t live with himself to see the look on Steve’s face when he disappoints him.

“You got me there,” May mumbles through the lemon bar and holds up a pair of finger guns. She chuckles. Tony sets his cup down on the counter.

“Okay, lay it on me. We have plenty of time.” Tony rests an arm on the counter, his head lay in his comfortably in his palm. He looks up at her with eyebrows raised and a concern look. May sighs heavily. “First, Natasha’s getting married.”

Tony’s eyes widen. “I thought she was divorced?”

“She is. Now, she’s engaged to Yelena, who is just wonderful. You’ll love her, she’s so sweet.”

Tony’s mouth is agape with a grin on his face. “To a woman?! Why didn’t you lead with that! That’s great.”

“It is. I’ve never seen her so happy before, it was relieving.”

“Okay, so that’s the good news. What’s the bad?” Tony’s face is all serious. The grin from before is replaced with a stern look. May wets her lips and stops herself from looking anywhere but Tony’s face. “Um,” she pauses, moving a strand of hair out of her face. “My mom doesn’t approve.” May lets out a dry laugh. Tony immediately pulls her into his arms, wrapping his arms around her frame. He comforted her in the same way Jarvis had did when his own father didn’t approve of him being with Steve. Tony felt May’s tears soak his shirt as she sobbed into his arms, clenching his shirt in her fists. A wave of anger washed over his face as he looked up to Pepper and Steve sitting quietly, letting them have their moment. One look at Tony and Steve knew, of course he knew. How could he not? It was the exact same face Steve made when Tony told Howard. They understood one another. Pepper began to rub May’s back gently, she let out a sigh. None of them moved for a solid seven minutes, occasionally drinking their tea in silence. Tony held his breath when May lifted her head off of his tear stained shoulder, she sniffled.

“Sorry, about your shirt,” she rubbed her nose on her sleeve and wiped her eyes.

Tony chuckled, “it’s okay. I have plenty of shirts.” He tilted his head to the left and raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Yeah, eventually.” May let out a breathy laugh. “Thanks for that, I needed a good cry.”

“Don’t we all.”

Tony reaches over and grabs a lemon bar. He takes a bite of one and looks at Steve. “Ready for bed?” Steve nods his head and puts his cup into the sink and rises it out.

“Ladies, we’ll see you in the morning. Jarvis is making his special pancakes.” Tony beamed as he wraps and arm around Steve, slowly leaving the kitchen.

“You must be exhausted, baby.” Pepper gently says as she moves a strand of hair out of May’s face and places a kiss to her temple. May blushes at the nickname, she always does, as she ponders saying something but stops when she instinctively leans into Pepper.

“C’mon, let’s get to bed. We’ve had a long, tiring, day.”

May nods her head. She slides her empty cup over to Pepper who gracefully takes both and puts them into the sink next to Steve’s.

Arm in arm they walk up the mahogany staircase. Steve had told Pepper that they would be staying in the guest room across from Tony’s. May flops down on the soft duvet, too lazy and drained to change into her pajamas. Pepper looks around the room and notices their luggage is stacked neatly by the door, along with an adjoined bathroom.

“You lay there. I’m gonna get changed, okay?” Pepper tells May as she grabs her change of clothes. Before entering the bathroom she turns to see May lift up a thumbs up. Pepper chuckles. Not even four minutes later, Pepper is changed and much more comfortable, she sees May completely passed out on the bed. Pepper shakes her head and smiles. Slowly but carefully, without waking May, she moves her under the covers. Pepper slides in next to her and wraps an arm around May’s chest, kissing her forehead. Matching May’s breathing, she slowly begins to fall asleep.

May wakes up from the best sleep of her life, the kind of sleep that gives you lines on your arms when you wake up. She lets out a content sigh and rubs her eyes. She feels a weight on her chest and looks down to see Pepper sleeping soundly on her. May smiles. She slowly moves out from under Pepper and stretches her legs, arms and back until she hears her a cracking sound that is slightly satisfying to her ears. May heads to the bathroom quietly, without waking Pepper, and does her business before hearing a faint tapping on the bedroom door. With an eyebrow raise, May opens the door just a crack and fights the urge to let out a scream when Tony’s head peeks in. She glares at him and flicks him in the forehead, Tony’s not phased by it at all.

“Jarvis has breakfast ready, come on.”

May nods her head, feeling a bit fatigued after yesterday's unfortunate events, she rushes over to a sleeping soundly Pepper. She brushes the hair out of Pepper’s eyes as the blonde lets out a content sigh and blinks repeatedly.

“Good morning, sleepy head. Jarvis has breakfast ready, you hungry?” May asks as she slowly removes the covers from Pepper’s body.

“Starving, but I’m not imposed to staying here all day.” Pepper raises an eyebrow.

May bites her lip. “Tempting but, i’ve been craving Jarvis’ chocolate chip pancakes since we got here last night.”

Pepper hangs her head low, “It was worth a shot. Lead the way your majesty.” She bows ever so slightly before May grabs her arm, pulling her off the soft bed and into the hallway where Tony and Steve are still standing. Pepper laughs.

“Dear god, another minute and we would’ve left your ass in the dust.” Tony joked as Steve nudges him making Tony yelp out an ‘ow.’

Tony gawks at Steve. “You’re just pure muscle, aren’t you?”

Steve rolls his eyes as a sly smirk appears on his face. “Oh, shush. You love it.”

Tony blinks repeatedly and moves to kiss Steve. He pauses in his step when May lets out a barf sound, their eyes immediately glare at her.

“Can we please go eat now?” May pleads. She clasps her hands together, begging. Tony sighs as he puts an arm out, gesturing May and Pepper to head down the stairs towards the kitchen.

“Yes!” May exclaims and grabs Pepper’s arm dragging her down the stairs, semi tripping in the process. Steve chuckles.

The kitchen smells like a bakery, a heavenly, beautiful bakery. There’s plates of eggs, bacon, sausages and chocolate chips pancakes. Amongst the food is orange juice and of course, coffee and tea. Jarvis is mid pouring coffee into a mug when the four of them come in and sit at the island. A ear to ear grin flashes across his face. “Good morning, and Merry Christmas!”

A flash of confusion is on May’s face, she cups her face with her hands and gasps. “Holy shit I forgot.”

Pepper rubs May’s arm, “it’s okay. Yesterday was chaotic.”

“After breakfast, we’ll open gifts. Tony, your parents left gifts out before they left. I think it would be wise to at least call them for this occasion.” Jarvis says sternly, looking Tony in the eyes. Tony lets out a groan.

“I’ll do it later, J. I promise.” Jarvis nods his head, gesturing everyone to begin eating.

May immediately grabs a plate and takes a stack of pancakes. She adds a dab of butter and a lot of syrup and lets out a heavenly sigh when she takes a bite. May looks up at Jarvis. Pepper smiles, a giggle escapes her lips.

“Jarvis I want these pancakes every time I come here, you hear me?” May says as she raises a forkful of pancake in the air and into her mouth.

“As you wish, miss Parker.

May lets out a gasp, “Nice Princess Bride reference there, J.” May smirks.

Jarvis hides the smile across his face by taking a sip of his coffee. Tony shakes his head and whispers something to Steve that May, nor Pepper can hear, which results in Steve chuckling as he eats his scrambled eggs. Tony takes a sip of coffee and places his cup back down on the marble countertop.

“After gifts I assume you’ll be heading back to the city?” He questions, looking to Pepper, who is smearing butter onto a piece of toast.

“Yes?” Pepper questions as she side eyes May who nods her head. “Yes.” She repeats, more clear this time.

“Good. So are we. You’ll come back with us.” Tony grins, not missing the sudden death glare on May’s face. “Oh, cheer up, May. It’ll be fun.” May shrugs her shoulders.

Once everyone has eaten a little bit of everything, they graciously help Jarvis clean up and head to the living room with the biggest Christmas tree. Tony opens his gifts from his parents, from Maria, a record vinyl, and a watch from Howard. Tony shakes his head as he tosses both aside. Both gifts he had gotten from the previous Stark Christmas gathering.

Tony’s mood is instantly changed when Steve opens his gift from him. He takes a polaroid of Steve as he opens the blue wrapped box, inside it is multiple paint sets. Steve knows it’s the expensive one he’s been saving up for but he doesn’t care about that at all right now. He leans in to give Tony a kiss that Tony happily obliges with, wrapping a hand around his neck, deepening it. Jarvis lets out a cough before either of them can continue their PG-13 film.

Steve turns red, blush forming from his cheeks down his neck, while Tony shamelessly rubs the back of his neck. Tony gestures for May to open her gift, the one her father gave her before they left. It’s wrapped neatly with a red bow around it, and it’s a little on the lighter side. May untangles the bow and sets it off the the side. She lifts the cover of the medium size box to see a second box inside, it’s smaller and wrapped in tissue paper.

May’s eyebrows furrow as she rips the tissue paper off, throwing it into the previous box. She opens the box to see a folded up letter and a silver chain with a locket and ring around it. She gasps at the coldness and initials written on the locket; E.P. It also smells very old, like the smell of old books or an antique shop. Setting the necklace back down in the box, May opens the folded letter and the first thing she notices is that it's in her father’s handwriting.

‘May,

This necklace belonged to your grandmother, my mother, Edith Parker. You know for a long time she was with grandpa Parker but that wasn’t her first love. Her first love and other woman in the locket is Sophie. As for the ring, it was Edith’s. Sophie gave it to her and she wore it everyday around her neck hidden.’

May does a double-take, her mouth agape, and continues to read.

‘I’ve known Sophie all my life, you would’ve loved her my dear, May. and be absolutely enchanted by all the stories and special moments she would tell you one on one. I have other items from their time together, a box of trinkets and letters in a box, hidden, of course. Your grandmother asked me to pass this down to you when it was time and I think right now is a good one. I’m sorry, I have to give you this when you’re not here in front of me. I hope it puts a smile on your face. I love you. Happy Holidays. — Dad’

May doesn’t know how to react other than with tear-filled eyes. She smiles, a real genuine one, dimples and all. She gently holds the necklace in her hands afraid it might break, as she opens the locket and low and behold, two photos on equal sides of the locket are Edith and Sophie. May sighs, she rubs her thumb over the photos. She can see a little resemblance of herself in her grandmother. Her eyes advert to the ring, a silver thin band with multiple roses on it. Upon a closer look May notices their initials are engraved in it as well. She decides to leave it with the locket as intended. As May unclasps the necklace, Pepper is next to her, moving May’s hair onto one side of her frame.

“Let me,” Pepper whispers. May nods her head.

Pepper dangles the necklace around May’s neck, goosebumps arise on her skin. Pepper’s hands are shaking slightly, she doesn’t know when the sudden nervousness started. Probably when she realized she’s completely in love with May Parker and everything in her body is telling her this a red flag because there’s no way this angel sent from heaven likes, hell, loves her back. None of the less, Pepper shakes her head, clearing the thoughts, she fastens the necklace clip and pulls May’s hair back around her neck. May looks down at the necklace, and turns looking up at Pepper. “Thank you,” May whispers. “It’s beautiful.”

“You’re welcome. And yes, it is,” Pepper says quietly, heart thumping in her chest, as she looks at May. May looks into Pepper’s eyes, her eyes widen, almost as if a light bulb went off in her head. She gasps quietly and excuses herself from the group. Pepper’s eyes follow her. “I’ll be right back.”

Tony claps his hands. “Shall we continue? Jarvis, this one’s for you.” Tony hands Jarvis a present. Their chatter slowly fades out when Pepper closes the kitchen door to have privacy. May is standing with her arms crossed, her back against the counter, and eyebrows furrow with thin lines across her forehead.

Pepper intertwines her hands together in front of her, she pauses in her step afraid of getting closer she will spook May. “You okay?”

May immediately looks up, her mouth agape. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with me?” Her arms relax at her sides.

Pepper’s mouth opens then closes. She ponders for a moment. “I was going to tell you.” She clenches her hands, knuckles turning a shade of white.

“When? In a year or two?” May steps forward.

“I mean, maybe,” Pepper shrugs. May scoffs. “And how did you think I would feel, huh? What if I started dating someone? Or you started dating? Would you just stay quiet about it and suffer in silence?”

“In the case of you dating someone, yes, I would stay quiet about it, because it’s unrequited love. If I started dating someone, I wouldn’t give my all to then and I know that’s not fair at all. Pepper takes a step forward, she unclenches her hands.

May licks her lips. “What if it’s not unrequited love?”

“Then we do something about it.” Pepper takes two steps. She wipes her clammy hands onto her pants.

“Let’s do something about it.” May strides over to Pepper, wrapping a hand around her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. It’s hot, and heavy and teeth clashing. Pepper’s arms instinctively wrap around May’s torso, sliding down to her hips, fitting perfectly into May’s love handles. Pepper lets out a small moan when May pulls away, her pupils are wide and there’s a spark in them.

“I love you.” Pepper grins like a Cheshire Cat. Her heart is banging like a drum and she feels like she can suddenly float on water. She pulls May back in, mumbling, ‘I love you too’ on her lips. Pepper lifts May onto the counter, May dangles her legs on either side of Pepper. She wraps them around Pepper’s legs, pulling her towards her. May’s hands roam Pepper’s body, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, almost as if this is their first time. It’s not. She feels goosebumps and soft skin, and the smell of roses. It soothes her. May moves away from Pepper’s mouth to place delicate kisses along her neck and collarbone. Pepper bites her lip.

Pepper sighs heavily. “We’re in the kitchen. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get hot and heavy in here.” Pepper leans her forehead against May’s. May pouts, her bottom lip poking out. “You’re right.”

Pepper helps May down from the counter and together they head back into the living room where the others have unwrapped all the presents.

“Hey, you’re back! We opened everything because it’s my house and I can,” Tony smirks.

“That’s okay,” May says smiling. “We’re just going to relax and get things ready before we leave.” She side eyes Pepper and grabs her hand.

“That’s right, I totally forgot,” Steve gasps. His eyes still fixated on his paint supplies. Tony’s heart swells in his chest every time he sees that glimmer in Steve’s eyes.

“I’ll pack leftovers for all of you,” Jarvis announces before heading into the kitchen.

“Thank you, J.” Tony yells with a smile on his face.

May leads Pepper up the stairs to their room, she shuts the door. Pepper leans back onto the bed, she closes her eyes. May licks her lips before lunging herself on top of Pepper. Her arms rest on either side of Pepper’s head, the necklace dangles, occasionally bumping into Pepper’s nose.

May kisses Pepper slowly and softly, she slips her tongue in. Pepper lets out a low moan as she switches their position, without breaking the kiss. Pepper slowly lifts up May’s shirt to unbutton her pants. She slides them down her legs and drops them to the floor with a silent thud. May rubs her hands along Pepper’s arms, feeling how they twitch anytime she touches them.

Pulling away, Pepper kisses May’s stomach and slowly kisses down until she reaches her underwear, placing a kiss there too when May lets out a whimper. Pepper wraps a hand around her thigh, kissing the side of it before using a finger to drag down May’s underwear and off the bed, dropping down on top of her pants.

May’s hips lift off the bed when Pepper kisses her clit. She slides two fingers through her folds, feeling how aroused she is and slowly begins to rub in circular motions. May lets out a breathy moan. “Pepper.”

“Yeah?” She raises an eyebrow and looks up.

“C’mon already, please.”

“As you wish.” Pepper says before licking a long stride. She goes up and down, very slowly, teasing May. She slides one finger in and May’s hips once again, lift off the bed as she grabs onto the sheets. Pepper kitten-like licks her clit as she slides a second finger in, she speeds up her motion, feeling May’s walls clench around her fingers. She’s close and May bites her lip to the point where it starts to bleed. Pepper removes her fingers and replaces them with her tongue and May moans loud.

Pepper grabs May’s hand with her, now free, one. Too caught up in the act to care about the wetness of Pepper's hand, May intertwines them together, knuckles turning white as Pepper’s tongue goes deeper until May’s backs arches off the bed for a final time and she gasps. May sees a blinding light and stars as Pepper continues to lick, not leaving anything behind and lays her head on May’s stomach, breathing heavily.

May chuckles. “I’ll never get tired of that.”

Pepper kisses May’s thigh. “Neither will I.”

May runs her hand through Pepper’s hair as they lay there for a moment or two. May sighs.

“I have to shower before we go. Unless you want to take me up on our previous rain check?” May smirks as she raises an eyebrow.

“Tempting but if I go with you, we’ll never get out.” Pepper pushes a strand behind May’s ear.

May rolls her eyes playfully and gets off the bed. "Pick something out for me."

Pepper tilts her head down, “of course.” May smiles and closes the bathroom door behind her before poking her head out.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Pepper shakes her head and stands up, stretching. She lets out a content sigh before taking out some clothes for May and herself.

Fifteen minutes later, May is out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body. She graciously puts the clothes, Pepper laid out for her, on. It’s just her usual grey crewneck and matching sweatpants, but May can’t help but smile to herself.

“I figured you would want to be comfortable in the car,” Pepper says honestly as she heads to the bathroom.

“Thank you.” May pulls the crewneck over her head and untucks her hair from the neckline. She puts her grandmother’s necklace back on and holds it in her hands.

Pepper quickly vanishes into the bathroom as May gathers her things. They barely touches their suitcases when they arrived, only to change into pajamas and get necessities. There’s a knock at their door and May has an inkling she knows who it is. Her suspicion is correct when she opens to see Tony staring at her. May raises an eyebrow.

“You had sex.” Is the first thing to come out of Tony’s lips and May gasps. May’s nose scrunches up as she tries to weasel her way out of talking about it but Tony ignores her and hops on the window seat, avoiding the bed at all cost.

May rests her hands on her hips. “What do you want Tony?”

Tony leans forward. “Well I would love to hear about the sexy stuff but Steve told me I have to tell you we’re leaving soon. As in five minutes because mr perfect doesn’t want to hit traffic.”

May chuckles. “You guys have the weirdest nicknames, I’ll never understand it.” Tony shakes his head.

“And you never will, my dear.”

Pepper comes out of the bathroom fully clothed, she’s not surprised to see Tony here, after all it is his house, well, parents house technically. She had a feeling he would be in the room and definitely didn’t want to scare him into oblivion at her nakedness.

Tony raises his eyebrows up and down with a smirk plastered across his face. “So,” he drags out.

“So what?” Pepper rolls her eyes.

Tony claps his hands together and lets out a child-like giggle. “I can’t believe you guys had sex in my parents room! I can’t wait to tell Steve.”

May and Pepper fall silent, they side-eye one another and shoulders tense up. Tony’s hand covers his mouth to contain his laughter.

“What!”

“Can you repeat that one more time?”

Tony takes a breath and grins. “Yeah, we don’t have a guest bedroom. Most of the rooms up here are offices and libraries, it’s just their room and mine. Jarvis has the guest house out back.” He giggles once more. May and Pepper stare at him flabbergasted. They’re at a complete loss of words and remain silent until Steve comes to check up on them.

“Hey, you guys ready to go—“ he pauses. “What’s wrong?” He raises an eyebrow. Tony lips fold into his mouth as tries not to let out anymore laughter. He scratches the back of his neck as he lets out a breath.

“These two,” he gestures towards May and Pepper. Steve looks at the both of them. “Had sex in my parents room.” Tony then gestures with his hands, in a jazz hand motion, the room. Steve’s eyes widen as he lets out a snort followed by a loud cackle. His back arches as his head tilts back, he wants to cover his mouth to suppress the laughter but he just can’t do it.

May’s mouth is still agape and at a standstill when Pepper rolls her eyes and gathers their suitcases. May feels the roughness of her suitcase handle in hand and Pepper’s warm, soft, hand in the other. She drags May along out the door, still hearing the loud cackling from Steve and occasional shushes from Tony.

May bounces back to reality when Jarvis stands in front of her, handing her Tupperware of goods. May nods her head, smiling. “Thank you, Jarvis”

“Anytime, miss Parker.” Jarvis leans in to hug May, she happily obliges, wrapping her arms around his slender frame. She pulls away when Jarvis moves to Pepper, hugging her as well.

“It was lovely to meet you miss Potts. You’re welcome to come here whenever you please.”

Pepper smiles. “Thank you Jarvis.”

Tony and Steve come trudging down the stairs. “Ready to go?” Steve asks before grabbing their suitcases and heads out the door, May nods her head.

Tony turns to Jarvis. “Happy Holidays, J. We should do this every year, it always gets better and better.” Tony sends a sly smirk to May as she rolls her eyes and heads in the direction Steve went. Pepper quietly follows not a minute after.

Jarvis rubs Tony’s shoulder. “We do this every year, Tony. Even with the exception of your parents.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, I know. I mean, it’s just better without them, more quiet and relaxed rather than the chaotic mess.” Jarvis hums in agreement.

“I see, sir. Well they won’t be back for another two weeks, can I expect to see you and mister Rogers before then?”

“Of course you can.” Tony smiles and hugs Jarvis.

Jarvis looks up and out the open door to see Steve waiting by the passenger side, arms across his chest, one over the other.

“I like this one.” Jarvis says quietly even though they’re the only two in the foyer. Tony wants to scream with glee, but he doesn’t. Instead, a tear slides down his cheek, he quickly wipes it away. Tony grips Jarvis’ jacket tighter, he starts to shake, knuckles turning a shade of white. All Tony has ever wanted from his parents is love, affection, and acceptance, maybe even an occasional ‘i love you.’ So far he has barely gotten any of those. That’s an understatement. The only ‘i love you’s’ he’s heard is from Jarvis, Steve, and May. And now, to hear something so pure and something he shouldn’t even ask for, from Jarvis, someone Tony absolutely adores and admires is just the thing he needed to hear this weekend.

Jarvis rubs Tony’s back comfortingly. Tony mumbles a ‘thank you’ into his neck and Jarvis smiles. They stay like that for a moment until Tony pulls away, wiping his face.

“Out of all of them, you’re the best one,Tony. I mean it.”

“Thanks, J.” Tony sends Jarvis one last glance and a smile before grabbing his backpack and is out the door. Steve uncrosses his arms and opens the passenger door for him. His eyebrows furrow and his smile is replaced with a concern look. “You okay?” He rubs Tony’s shoulder once he’s in arms length.

“Never better.” Tony says smiling. Steve ushers Tony into the car and shuts the door. Before entering the car, Steve turns back to Jarvis and waves. Jarvis smiles and nods his head. Steve puts the car in drive and backs out onto the main road. The radio plays soft 70s music that Tony silently hates but Steve knows he enjoys it from time to time. Tony grabs Steve’s hand and kisses his knuckles before rubbing a thumb gently over it. Steve side eyes Tony, keeping his eyes on the road but a warm smile plasters his face and Tony’s heart swoons in his chest.

In the backseat, May rests her head on Pepper’s shoulder. Their hands intertwined as May reads the book she brought with her. Pepper silently following along with her.

They’re in the car for over an hour and good thing they left when they did because traffic just started as they entered the city. Pulling up to the curb in front of May’s apartment complex, Steve’s puts the car in park and unlocks the trunk. He places their suitcases onto the curb.

“Thanks, Steve.” Pepper says with a smile.

“No problem.” Steve stuffs his hands in his pockets as he leans against the trunk. Pepper glances at May talking discreetly to Tony by the passenger side door.

“She’s a good one.” Steve says suddenly, breaking Pepper out of her trance.

“I know. Thank you for reminding me.” Pepper blushes as she fixes her shoulder bag. May shakes her head and chuckles to herself when she walks back to Pepper. She leans her forehead on Pepper’s shoulder. “I’m so tired.”

Pepper places a kiss on the crown of May’s head. “I know, babe. C’mon, I’m sure Milo misses you.” May’s instantly perks up and runs to the apartment door, suitcase in tow, yelling, “I hope Loki didn’t kill him!”

Tony shakes his head as Steve chuckles and Pepper sighs. “See you guys later. Get home safe.”

“Will do.” Steve sends her a salute and is in the car, pulling away from the curb as Tony waves goodbye.

Pepper meets May in front of the elevators and smiles when she sees May getting antsy, she’s jumping up and down in place.

“I can’t wait to see my baby boy!” May yells when the elevator doors let out a beeping sound. They’re in the elevator in a flash and immediately press their designated floor button. May’s still bouncing up and down, like a little kid in a candy store. The elevator lets out another beep and May runs as fast as she can to the door and unlocks it, leaving it open for Pepper who is still walking.

“Milo! Baby!” Pepper hears May and she giggles to herself. Once inside, Pepper shuts the door and places her suitcase by the door. She takes off her jacket and places it on the coatrack. Pepper heads to the kitchen to get a drink but pauses in her step when she sees a note on the counter. It’s for the both of them.

‘Dear May and Pepper,

Milo was an absolute dear. He was very lovable and affectionate and the most sweetest cat. So no, May, I didn’t kill him. He’s very much alive and waiting to see you again. You too, Pepper. I hope one day we can meet face to face, I’ve heard wonderful things. P.S; I would love to cat sit any time, any where.

Love, Loki’

“May, there’s a note here from Loki,” Pepper says as she carries the note with her to the living room. May is cuddling with Milo who has his head is resting on her chest and purrs softly. May takes the note with her free hand and reads it with a smile on his face. “I’ll text him later to say thank you.”

“And you thought something bad would happened to him,” Pepper shakes her head as she takes the empty seat next to May on the couch, petting Milo slowly. May glares at her.

“I have to take precautions, he’s my son. Ain’t that right, Milo?” She lifts him up so they’re face to face, Milo tilts his head and licks May’s nose. She grins. Pepper chuckles and Milo iears perk up at the sound. He's focused on her now as he jumps out of May’s hold and walks over her legs to Pepper and purrs.

“Yeah, sure, kid.” May rests her arm on the back of the couch, she stares at the two of them. “So, what now?”

Pepper eyes advert from Milo, who is rubbing is head on her arm, to May. “U-haul?”

May laughs. “Too soon.”

“Definitely.”

There’s a moment of silence before Pepper speaks up. “I don’t want to go home just yet.” May smiles and stands up from the couch. She puts a record on and moves the dial onto it, turning the volume up. Of course, Wham! plays softly through the speakers.

May gestures a come hither motion with her hands and Pepper can’t resist but move Milo out of her lap, he looks up at them with wide, curious, eyes. Pepper holds May’s hands as they sway together, back and forth to the beat of the music. Pepper twirls May around as she throws her head back, laughing, she pulls her in and rests her forehead against May’s. May pecks her lips before spinning around in a circle, moving her arms in the air. Pepper pauses and smiles at May dancing. Yeah, she could get use to this.

[dougbeamer]

Brightburn - Movie Review *Spoilers*

I saw this movie almost a month ago. I tried doing a video review for it several weeks ago and idk...nothing stuck. What I wanted to say just felt like it could be the same as everyone else. I just don’t think I’m gonna add anything new to the consensus.

But then I got thinking about it again for some reason I felt a desire to talk about it again.

So! Let's start with the plot and what this movie is about.

Brightburn is a film that came out in May of 2019 and tells the story of a family Tori and Kyle Breyer trying to have a kid. By a miraculous miracle, a spaceship crashlands on their farm and they adopt the baby boy inside naming him, Brandon. Many years later the family begins experiencing weird things with their now 12-year-old child. He sleepwalks to the barn where the ship he crashed landed in mumbling a strange language and trying to get inside. 

Eventually, Brandon Breyer’s powers take effect and he starts using them to kill people rather than saving people. Brandon Breyer’s is on the full path to becoming a supervillain.

With the plot, in a nutshell, I can tell you there isn’t much more to it than that. If there is anything that I don’t like when making my reviews is explaining the plot. I know I need to in order to give everyone a heads up of what I am talking about but I never seem to talk about the plot specifically enough. I never actually describe it well. My store manager had an opportunity to see this film and said it pretty simply. “It’s like Superman meets Annabell”

While I never have seen Annabell it seems like an apt description. Annabell seems like a small film in scale and terrorizes folks who come close to it. The stakes are personal, intense and not much beyond what you are given. Of course, Superman is the spot on the comparison you can give because this film screams, “WE ARE SHOWING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SUPERMAN WENT EVIL!” as a concept piece.

Every time I think about this film the less I like about it. 

I know there are some people out there that probably L-O-V-E this film and can’t wait to see what is next in this obvious start to a twisted franchise. 

This film is basic. Very basic. Nothing more to it than a kid coming to his own with superpowers with his parents in denial of what he is capable of. The father is less in denial than the mother is who refuses to think her child is capable of such things.

At the beginning of this film, I actually loved it. The took just enough time to create the conflict between these two that they wanted a child. Just then their house is rocked by an earthquake and they proceed to check it out. It was mysterious, it was solid. 

The rest of the film...not so much. 

When I watch a film I lookout for a few things. One of them being dialogue, moments to establish the relationships as true, real and tangible, stakes that make sense no matter how much it derails the people involved, and above all else how the film constructs this. Bring it all together with enough pomp and circumstance to say we are functional.

To me, this movie is barely functional.

Dialogue is stiff. When people talk to one another it's so short and to the point that it feels like there is more than can be said. This may not be a legitimate critique but I do feel like the technique of talking is wasted here.

There was a scene where after Brandon crushed a girl's hand and the following scene the parents were all talking in the principal's office. The mother of the daughter was clearly upset and rightfully so. She was spouting this and that, “he should go to jail” and other justifiable remarks. Until...she talks about Brandon's real mother and calls her an inbred psycho. This obviously crosses a line as Tori simply states that if trash-talking a 12-year-old child helps erica sleep better at night maybe she is the one that needs help. After that, the scene wraps up and it's over. It's not without consequence, of course, but I feel that the scene was stunted with a lot of missed opportunities with dialogue. Instead of Erica overstepping her bounds and Tori putting her in her place within seconds of the scene ending I felt that should have been the biggest conflict in the scene. A longer more emotionally driven scene. 

Granted I know the script has been flipped and instead of Brandon being the good guy he's bad. The parents are sticking up for him wrongfully but are on the side of good and Erica is in the middle. The scene conveys mixed emotions that I feel no one is good, no one really knows what to say or do. Brandon is not arrested, he is suspended and will have therapy there afterward and one simple insult closes this off and they move onto the next subject. With the knowledge of the looming fate, Erica will endure.  I feel the scene should have been at least a few minutes longer where we are given a chance to really understand where other people are coming from. By this point, we know where Kyle and Teri are coming from but not Erica. She is actually smack dab in the middle of a situation she has to immediately respond to. Before that, she only was apart of Brandon’s birthday and saw him throw a temper-tantrum where the electronics around him went out. No speaking lines and that may be enough for her to call Brandon a psycho but allow me to point out...

There is an entire bit of backstory faded out to the prolonged stare Teri was making with her son Brandon. A lot of dialogue was muffled out do to her zoning out. They only time she snaps out of it is when insults are being thrown out towards Brandon and questions of who his real mother is. 

That entire scene should have been insightful! Erica could still stay as the emotional mother who just hears and sees the aftermath of her daughter's hand crushed but we could have known at some point where she stood with the family, what kind of friends they were and some back history. Cause we just found out in that very moment more than just the family knows about Brandon’s adoption. That there in of itself leaves me to believe a lot has to be assumed in order to understand where everyone is coming from.

My mind goes to the phrase Expectations vs Reality. When I think about this movie there were a lot of expectations and when the reality hit we basically see what could have been opposed to what we got. Brightburn had a criticism that its full potential was not realized.

This is where I have to disagree. 

Yes, I have to disagree. 

We have had over 10 years of great storytelling and bad storytelling at our expense thanks to Marvel, DC, various TV shows throughout the last decade. We know exactly what we want in these types of films. So when we get a what-if concept there are only a few ways we can go with it.

Our expectations are seeing a complex take on the tale of Superman becoming evil and the reality is we see a kid who is being manipulated by a ship speaking an evil language. We don’t really see where the kid is coming from except for getting upset that he is different and was lied to for 12 years.

The reality is this is probably the best way to convey a what-if piece. Keep it Simple. Keep it just as grounded as it is right now. My biggest gripe is how everyone talks to one another. How the situations play out are almost perfect to convey such an excellent concept. 

So sticking up for this film in this regard, it did exactly what it was setting out to do. Become a concept piece that would show the makings of a villain that was based on one of the most powerful superheroes we will ever know. In fictional terms of course.

The fact that it didn’t go in any direction we were really hoping it to is not a bad thing though. Sure maybe we could have seen the makings of a villain rise up and maybe the parents are in on it. Maybe the mother takes Brandon under her wing and teaches him to channel his evil tendencies towards people that deserve it much like dexter. Instead, Patricide and Matricide are inflicted, Uncles and Aunts are killed, and next-door neighbors are terrified in cliche fashion before they are horribly killed.

What really doesn’t make this film work for me is not really buying into the fact that this kid who seems well to do, not a single psychopathic bone in his body is suddenly turned when the spaceship he crashed landed in, activates.

The film does not do a good job giving us anything that could give us a clue into Brandon’s head. Is he being controlled? Is he acting out of rage? Well, the answer to that is yes and yes. But when? When are those moments? Because one scene he is going back to the girl (the one whos wrist was broken) and tells her that she is the ONLY person who knows how special he is.

One scene before it or after it I can’t remember which...shows him going into a rage as soon as he figures out what the alien message is saying to him. So he either had a small influence then took what he could and left the rest. Or he gets small doses of this throughout the time he first encountered it. Its really unclear.

One big thing is how people write off each weird happenstance throughout the story of the film. The father, Kyle believes Brandon got in and killed some chickens late at night. The best excuse Tori has is that a wolf opened up a locked door and killed some chickens. 

I mean, the reasonings of what to talk about and what not to talk about is out of this world.

The parents find Brandon's secret stash of naked women that soon turn more grizzly where there are pictures of surgical diagrams and graphic photos of organs. Tori exclaims, “Maybe we should have the talk”

In the next scene, they go on a camping trip and the father and son have an awkward conversation about this. But the only thing mentioned was sexual urges and nothing more. DUDE, you found diagrams and organs! That is much more specific than showing off a desirable swimsuit model! TALK ABOUT THAT! This stuff gets pretty redundant after a while. You get it. Dialogue doesn’t work, the scenes and situations mentioned don’t add up when they need to talk about more important things, the relationship between the mother and father work but not with the kid, sadly. 

I feel this movie did deliver upon its potential I just feel it could have been written better. I could care less that it was a cliche horror murder movie. Give me something basic and grow from there. You could have had the characters a lot smarter, capable, flesh out the scenes better and you would have had one solid film on your hands. 

Perhaps I don’t have anything better to say than anyone else but this movie came close to frustrating me on how it presented itself.

The ending sparked more curiosity and obvious means to a sequel that I feel should have been introduced in the middle of the film. But, hey, that's just my expectations talking. 

I know there are some out there that love the film. One who can justify actions and means of what really could have been going down. But I am a very literal person so if it ain't shown to me I am not going to assume so much happened in-between scenes. I am not a psychic so I don’t know what one is thinking and if you keep a kid quiet I won’t know where he is coming from. 

That is exactly what this film did. It alienated me. Me no likey.

**/***** (2 out of 5)

[chikoriita]

A Pleasant Surprise

This may be the only piece I have for SoKai week this year, but I think that it works best for today (Perfect Date). I hope this works for @sokaiweek!

Find at AO3.org

Kairi let out a deep breath as she looked at the large fountains in front of her. What a sight. The Outer Plaza was the best place to park a Gummi ship, especially if one did not want to attract attention. She locked the ship, pulled up her hood, and made her way into town. She avoided eye contact with any passersby. Only one person in Radiant Garden needed to know she was here and that was Naminé.

Once a month, Kairi traveled to Radiant Garden to visit her sister. She enjoyed the periodic visit to the Garden. Her past was here along with her present. Naminé was the closest relative Kairi had left, and she treasured her little sister more than anything. Unwilling to wield a Keyblade, Naminé chose to rebuild Radiant Garden with the Restoration Committee rather than stay with the other wielders. Few stayed in Radiant Garden with the rest electing to stay in Twilight Town or with Aqua in the Land of Departure.

Kairi chose neither. Her own heart rested in Destiny Islands, her chosen home. Unlike the others chosen by the Keyblade, she no longer counted herself a wielder. Instead, Kairi helped Aqua and Terra decode the history of the Keyblade. Centuries of lore thought to be lost to the world when the Land of Departure was locked away was now available once more. She took the responsibility on herself as she was the only one available to do the job. At the very least, this was one task that couldn’t endanger Sora, Riku, or anyone else. The worst she could do was give herself a paper cut. And so she stayed on her island with her books and texts as her only companions. She did not turn away the few visitors she received, but she did not seek out anyone but Naminé.

A few months ago, Naminé suggested that she move to Radiant Garden permanently. The Castle was better equipped than anything on Destiny Islands with the added bonus of living with her sister. Kairi gently refused. Delightful as her sister was, the pain of that world was greater. She still could not remember her past before the Islands; all she knew was that she once had a grandmother that loved her very much. No one knew where the kind lady went once the world fell to darkness. She did not even have her memories to help with her loss. No, just as she learned to shield her heart, Kairi kept this pain locked away and limited her time here for a few days a month.

Her limited time with her sister guilted her into following whatever Naminé suggested. Earlier on the Gummiphone, Naminé could barely keep her excitement contained. Who knew what she planned for this time? Kairi smiled at the thought; whatever she planned, as long as it brought happiness to Naminé, it was worth it.

She turned into the borough in which the Restoration Committee resided. It was oddly quiet around here for midday. Too quiet. She kept her hand at the ready to summon her Keyblade when she heard a door open.

“Kairi!” Naminé called out seconds before pouncing on her. “Are you ready?”

Kairi took a second to look over her sister. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail, she was wearing light makeup, and she had sneakers on. She didn’t even know Naminé owned sneakers.

“Where are we going?” she asked. “And can I put my bag down?” She gestured to her backpack.

Naminé giggled. “Of course. Let me take that.” She grabbed the bag and tossed it inside her house. “Let’s go!” She tugged her hand and pulled Kairi down the street before she realized she was moving.

“When did you get so strong?” Kairi laughed as she followed the eager girl. Naminé stuck her tongue out at her older sister.

“Maybe you’re out of shape.”

Kairi raised a brow at her and dug her feet into the cobblestone. Naminé faltered at the sudden pause.

“Excuse me?” Kairi asked.

Her sister glanced at her sheepishly. “Sorry. I’m just so excited to see you and for you to see what I’ve been working on for the last month!” Her eyes glistened with a faint sheen of tears.

Kairi sighed. She was powerless against this look, and Naminé knew it. “Well, lead the way. I don’t have any idea where we are going.”

“Don’t worry. We’re close; it’s just ahead.” She pulled Kairi close and linked their arms together.

They continued down the still empty streets of the town. It wasn’t a scary empty but rather an unusual one. Normally, the streets of the Garden were bustling- wait what was that sound?

“Is that organ music?” Kairi asked. A few faint notes could be heard in the distance.

“Perhaps…”

After a few minutes Naminé led them into a dark square. By this point, the sun had nearly set, and all Kairi could see was the shadow of construction equipment.

“Naminé, just tell me-” Kairi started when the whole square lit up in multitudes of colors and revealed the missing townspeople and a carnival behind them.

“Happy birthday!” They shouted out.

“Whose birthday is it?” Kairi whispered.

Naminé rolled her eyes. “Yours silly. Happy birthday!” She threw her arms around Kairi’s neck.

It was her birthday? I guess I lost track of time these last few weeks, she thought. She scanned the crowd for familiar faces. Aerith and Yuffie held a banner decorated with flowers in the shape of her name. Leon stood at the gate allowing people into the fairgrounds.

“You did all of this for me?” Kairi asked, the words nearly breaking.

“I helped, but the heavy lifting was done by those two.” Naminé pointed to the edge of the crowd.

Her heart sped up at the familiar silhouettes approaching them. She tried to tame her wayward heart. Wishful thinking would only lead to heartache if she was wrong. But as they came closer, she knew these two better than she did herself.

“See Riku, I told you my plan would work,” said Sora, smiling from ear to ear. His eyes held a mischievous twinkle.

—

(One month earlier)

“Riku, what are we going to do?” Sora whined in a high-pitched voice. He laid on the banister of the tower steps pondering his dilemma. It felt like eons had passed since he last saw Kairi. She stayed on Destiny Islands while he and Riku helped Master Yen Sid track down former Keyblade wielders. Physically, she wasn’t far away, but emotionally, he couldn’t reach her. She locked herself away from him to keep him safe, she said. Sora respected that decision initially. After everything that happened, even he needed a break from it all. But days turned into weeks which turned into months. Soon, it would be a year since he last saw her. How much time could he spend away from his other half?

“About?” Riku drawled, knowing what Sora hinted at. He ranted to Riku at least once a week, if not more, about Kairi’s decision. Today was likely no different.

Sora swung his legs over the side and sat up, looking Riku straight in the eye. “Kairi’s birthday! We need to do something for her.”

Riku shook his head. “This won’t end well for you. You are horrible at planning.”

“Name one time!” Sora asked indignantly.

“The raft.”

He opened his mouth to argue when he remembered how little he had to do with the actual plan. “That may be true…”

Sora put his mind to thinking once more. After all they had been through, he wanted to make this next birthday special for Kairi. Naminé said that she wasn’t smiling as much as before. He tried to plan his visits around Kairi’s to give her space. Still, it killed him not to see her. A special gesture might not change the circumstances of her isolation, but at the least, he might bring back some joy.

What was something Kairi had wanted in their childhood? He wracked his mind for clues. Think. Think. Think. He thought like Pooh Bear once did and searched through his memories until he found the perfect one.

The two of them were about to sail to the Play Island to watch the sunset with Riku when Kairi stopped and squealed. “Hey Sora, there’s a festival in Town Commons tomorrow!” Kairi exclaimed, pointing at a flyer on the dock. “Carnival rides, fried food, and live music! It sounds so exciting…” She said dreamily as she relaxed in the canoe.

Sora smiled. “Then let’s be the first ones at the gates. What’s so exciting about a carnival though?” He pushed off the dock and set course for the island.

Kairi looked down. “This past year… When no one could remember you…Everyone thought I was crazy for insisting that you existed. It was insane to think that there was someone they all were forgetting. People started keeping their distance from me; only Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka stayed by my side.” Her voice caught on her words.

Sora quietly paddled as she continued her story. “A few weeks before everyone remembered you, there was a carnival in town. The whole school was excited to go, including me. When I went to go buy a ticket, I heard the snide whispers. ‘Who’s she going to go with? Her imaginary friends?’ Selphie told me to ignore them and their hurtful words, but I let them get to me. I didn’t go then; I said I wouldn’t go to a carnival without you and Riku at my side.”

He stood carefully and pulled her up with him. “I can’t apologize enough for leaving you alone, can I?” He held her small hands in his own.

She laughed through a sniffle. “Why apologize? You’re here now and that’s all that matters.” Kairi climbed on the small dock of the island.

Sora lifted her chin lightly and Kairi met his gaze. “You’re not alone anymore, Kai,” He murmured. They stood like that on the dock for what seemed like a year in a moment.

“I-uh…” He began, and with a start, changed the subject. “Riku’s waiting for us!” Sora scratched his head and ran away to catch up with Riku.

Next thing he knew, Kairi came behind him carrying a message in a bottle and a start of the next adventure.

They never had the chance to go that carnival in town. After they found the message, he and Riku left for Yen Sid’s tower for the exam.

“I know what I’m going to do!” Sora shouted, surprising Riku out of his slumber.

“Great. How will you get her to comply? She doesn’t listen to anyone except Naminé.”

The light bulb flashed in Sora’s head. “That’s it! Riku, you’re a genius.”

Riku crossed his arms with a grin. “You finally accept it.” When he looked up, he only saw the back of Sora’s head going back inside the tower. “There he goes,” Riku sighed.

—

(Present)

Sora stood in front of her, holding her hands once more. Just like he did on that dock and like he did in the Keyblade Graveyard. His smile so sweet, her own eyes watered at the sight. How had she held herself away from him for so long?

“Do you like your present Kairi?” He softly asked, rubbing his thumb over her fingers.

“You did this for me even though I refused to see you?” Her upper lip trembled.

His hands left hers and cupped her face. “You needed time to heal; it didn’t diminish how I feel about you.”

Those words tore down the last of her walls. Kairi threw her arms around his neck and held him close. “I missed you so much,” she whispered into his ear.

He hugged her tightly against him, brushing his lips against her hair. Someone cleared their throat behind them. Kairi turned to see Riku with his arms akimbo.

“Sora didn’t do this all by himself. Don’t I get a hug?”

Kairi giggled as she pulled Riku into an embrace. “I know. He’s hopeless without us.” In a softer voice, she said, “Thank you for taking care of him for me.”

Riku snorted. “You owe me. He’s reckless.”

“I can hear you,” Sora said pointedly.

Kairi stepped back and took both her friends’ hands in her own. “I’ve always wanted to go to one of these with both of you.”

Sora grinned and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Then what are we waiting for?”

Kairi blushed from the contact. “Let’s go!” She cheered, making her way to the gates. The boys followed her lead inside the fairgrounds, ready to make a night of memories. New memories couldn’t replace the old ones she lost; instead, they would help ease the pain by building around the old. Too long had Kairi been wallowing in the past. With Sora and Riku by her side, soon, she would face the future without fear.

[garden-ghoul]

it’s Jingo! a book about xenophobia, racism, imperialism, and how being a cop makes you immune to the rules. here’s the article I reference at the end, about the 1914 Christmas Truce.

transcript under the cut.

Hello and WELCOME to episode 3 of my newly named podcast, It’s Critical Analysis All The Way Down. This time I pulled the number 21, so we’re reading Jingo. The title is a reference to ‘jingoism,’ which is sort of patriotic bullying on the national scale. I’ll go ahead and sing you the chorus of the 1877 pop song it came from, which is actually directly referenced verbatim in the book:

We don't want to fight but by Jingo if we do We've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too We've fought the Bear before, and while we're Britons true The Russians shall not have Constantinople.

Anyway, I don’t remember this book very well because I never liked it much. As I recall it has a lot of tongue-in-cheek racism that’s still… well, it’s still racist. So if you’re not interested in hearing a LOT about racism, this isn’t the book for you! But let’s take a look.

Before we start, I’ll briefly explain Ankh-Morpork, which is sort of a cross between 1800s London and New York City, but rather than being the capital of anywhere it’s just a citystate. They own a lot of people’s debts. Then there’s Klatch, which seems to be an entire continent loosely representing the Middle East, originally named for a joke about coffee klatches, so the name is a German word weirdly enough. There’s also a place called Klatchistan, and I don’t know what that’s about.

We start off in the classic Pratchett style with a bit of a mystery. This one involves squid. We have a squid fisher and his son having a bad time in the sea precisely halfway between Klatch and Ankh-Morpork because it feels like a storm is coming though there’s not a cloud in the sky. Then that damned foreign bastard shows up, who we gather is a functionally identical squid fisher from Klatch. Note that although they’re equally mean to each other, we are solidly in the point of view of the white guy. Anyway the lost island of Atlantis rises up out of the sea and the two fishermen immediately start trying to claim it for their respective citystates. Their two sons would like to de-escalate, and seem to regard this as normal embarrassing dad behavior (?!) but their fathers aren’t listening. They both want to be the first back to land to declare to everyone that they own an island.

Now it’s time for a bunch of jump cuts that introduce our main cast.

First: back to Ankh-Morpork, where we find our protagonist, Sam Vimes, commander of the city Watch, striking a match on one of his sergeants. Yeah, his introduction is him being lowkey racist to a troll, although Sergeant Detritus makes nothing of it because it really isn’t worth the effort it would be to try to change his commander’s mind. Vimes and Detritus are listening to a ship captain yelling about how Klatchian pirates made off with his cargo (which he’s clearly lying about). Vimes knows everything and everyone in the city, so he quickly demolishes the guy’s argument, and he slinks off in embarrassment having been revealed as a liar. But this doesn’t change the fact that everyone on the street wanted to believe him. As Vimes and Detritus walk they see a lot more people doing street harangues about the same thing.

Second, the city Patrician, Vetinari, is having a meeting with some heads of guild, which Vimes drops in on ‘cos I guess the Watch is also a sort of guild. They’re all having a good old being racist party, except Vetinari is being ironic about it. Vetinari patiently explains that Ankh-Morpork’s history of slaughter and imperialism means they don’t really have any foreign allies and thus it would be pretty stupid to go to war. Also they don’t have a standing army. And absolutely none of the rich pay their taxes so the entire citystate is bankrupt. ‘We’ve got no ships, we’ve got no men, we’ve got no money too,’ Vetinari says. He can’t prevent the peerage from forming private militias, but his official stance it that he’s going to rely on diplomacy.

Third, Captain Carrot of the Watch playing some wholesome street football with a couple of urchin gangs who despise each other, in a clear metaphor for Klatch and Ankh-Morpork that foreshadows the finale. And under Carrot’s watchful eye they get along! Carrot’s brand of diplomacy relies on supernatural earnestness and narrative armor that causes people not to want to disappoint him. We follow him to a hostage situation that seems only to have the purpose of introducing Corporal Angua, who is a werewolf (both of them are foreign, in case you were interested, although the story doesn’t treat them as such because they’re assumed to be white).

Fourth, we have Vimes and Carrot skulking around in the rain at 3AM when they hear screaming and find that a Klatchian family’s house has been firebombed. Vimes reflects on the fact that he’s picked up quite a bit of dwarf and troll language but zero Klatchian and knows Mr. Goriff’s family only as food service people. In fact, in gratitude for saving them Goriff brings a bunch of food to the Watch, which is RIGHT nice of him, and someone does the old “oh no they’re the good sort of Klatchians” thing.

And finally, Vimes has got to go to a big fancy do the wizards are throwing and meet the Klatchian ambassador. The ambassador is Prince Khufurah, who is in the way of all ambassadors ready to play some mind games. He’s experienced quite enough racism already since he arrived in Ankh-Morpork and keeps pretending to try to buy people’s wives. I’m not sure it’s really a good joke if no-one else gets it. He also has a bodyguard named 71-hour Ahmed who is JUST a gross Arab murderer stereotype, but we find out later that this is a façade he likes to project to put people off.

And then we have the wizard parade, where the wizards remind everyone that they COULD turn them all into clams if they wanted, but don’t. The wizards basically have their own private enclave in the city, don’t pay taxes, and do absolutely whatever they want, and it’s yet another in the long list of parallels this book has for international politics.

During the parade someone is seen in an off-limits zone trying to snipe the Prince and Vimes has to go chase them because of course he does, he is rightly referred to as a terrier throughout the book. And when they get there they find a single clove, such as 71-hour Ahmed likes to chew. At this point in the book I didn’t actually remember the resolution of this plotline but I assumed someone was using racial stereotypes to try to frame him. But in fact we later find out that this is an intentional clue Ahmed has left to keep Vimes interested in him. No, I don’t know why he needed that. Maybe he’s just having fun.

But then they discover a Morporkian bowman who is being framed for taking Klatchian bribes to kill the Klatchian ambassador so Klatch has an excuse to go to war with Ankh-Morpork.

Meanwhile there’s a mob, supposedly because Klatchians have been killing people. Someone did get hurt, because Mr. Goriff’s family are really paranoid after the attack. Vimes escorts them to the watchhouse for their own safety, which is a little bit like arresting them. Some people come round to the watchhouse demanding the family’s release but it turns out Klatch is enormous and the rescuers are a different ethnic group and they get into a huge blazing row. In summary, everything continues to be extremely complicated and political.

SPEAKING of complicated and political, the Patrician has resigned and Ankh-Morpork is officially under military law. The entire command of the Watch quits because they don’t want to have to act as soldiers under the idiot aristocrats like Lord Rust who are forming private militias. And we get a little war gossip from Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs, who apparently very much enjoyed being soldiers in the low-stakes wars of Western Europe—I mean the Sto Plains.

I think it’s interesting that both of them seem to have served in multiple wars—they aren’t that old, probably not too much over forty, which means that the peace we see in Ankh-Morpork in the Watch books is VERY recent. Overall there are constant mentions of other wars in this book; Vimes’ wife Sybil also talks about how her aristocratic ancestors made sure to ALWAYS be fighting someone. And yet this is the only book where we see Ankh-Morpork actually at war, presumably because Sir Terry wasn’t as interested in writing about it as he was in writing about civic development.

This book also wants to emphasize that the peerage would rather most of their soldiers get killed, and that fighting is mostly carried out to engender patriotism. I don’t know that in real life commanders want their people to die, but I certainly agree with the second part.

And I want to read this good bit about Vimes thinking like a cop to avoid having a bad opinion of humanity, which is one of the main themes of the book:

Someone's behind this. Someone wants to see a war. Someone paid to have Ossie and Snowy killed. Someone wanted the Prince dead. I've got to remember that. This isn't a war. This is a crime. And then he realized he was wondering if the attack on Goriffs shop had been organized by the same people, and whether those same people had set fire to the embassy. And then he realized why he was thinking like this. It was because he wanted there to be conspirators. It was much better to imagine men in some smoky room somewhere, made mad and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over the brandy. You had to cling to this sort of image, because if you didn't then you might have to face the fact that bad things happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told their children bedtime stories, were capable of then going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary people.

There’s a subplot where Angua does some inadvisable spying and gets stuck on a ship headed for Klatch, which I mostly mention because I want to tell Vimes off for stealing someone’s fucking boat to follow her. He is, really, SUCH a cop all the time. He tells the guy “oh the city’s under martial law and I have a militia so I can do whatever I like.” Yeah he threatens to drum up a mob and stone this boat captain to death if he doesn’t donate his ship and the weapons he was shipping. Sorry SIR what happened to serve and protect? Yes, he throws ALL of the captain’s cargo overboard and completely destroys his ship in a storm because he refuses to take precautions. I am really starting to dislike Commander Sam “Copaganda” Vimes!!

Due to a bunch of shenanigans he and his men end up being taken as prisoners-slash-guests by some D’regs, an ethnic group that is violently opposed to the idea of a united Klatch. And we get some fun Klatchian politics, which is all I have really been craving.

The D’regs release Vimes to the care of 71-hour Ahmed, who is famous for violating the three-day hospitality rule one hour before time to execute a person who poisoned an entire village, and turns out to have been educated at the Ankh-Morpork Assassins’ Guild. He and Vimes have kind of a cool conversation about being officers of justice:

Your beat is a city you can walk across in half an hour. Mine is two million square miles of desert and mountain. Oh, the towns and cities have their guards, of a sort. They are uncomplicated thinkers. But it is my job to go into the waste places and chase bandits and murderers, five hundred miles from anyone who would be on my side, so I must inspire dread and strike the first blow because I will not have a chance to strike a second one.

And Ahmed reveals that Prince Khufurah’s brother is the one who tried to have him killed: there is nothing that unites people like having a common enemy, and he thinks it will be easier than trying to ‘pacify’ outlying areas of Klatch. Vimes is being a bit of a hypocrite here about how awful it is to kill people as an officer of justice, just because he personally doesn’t have the stomach for it—he beats a lot of people up and threatens to kill people all the time.

Let’s take stock of how things stand, because this book has actually been extraordinarily complicated and I’ve been leaving out a lot of what seemed at the time to be fragmentary comic relief.

Lord Rust saw that Vimes was launching an expeditionary force and he has established an extremely ill-advised beachhead. His soldiers are about to start fighting a Klatchian force six times their number. Lord Rust is sure songs will be written about this. What? Everyone will die? But we shall have songs, so who cares!

Vimes is now allied with a small company of Ankh-Morpork soldiers led by his butler and a company of D’regs who are friendly with 71-hour Ahmed. For some reason this is presented as Carrot being in command of the D’regs through force of charisma, even though the books makes fun of “they’re fine men as long as they have a white commander.”

The Patrician (who has stepped down to make way for military rule of Ankh-Morpork) asked some of the more incompetent watchmen to help him get to Klatch for diplomatic reasons, and they have been posing as street performers. The Patrician is a very good juggler.

And so we’re up to date. Prince Khufurah’s murderous politicking brother is having a polite breakfast with Lord Rust before he totally destroys his forces, when up come Ahmed and Vimes to arrest the Prince. Vimes decides to round it out by declaring his intent to arrest the entire Morporkian army for behavior likely to cause a breach of the peace. VERY cute of Sir Terry to be so glib about the fact that in any reasonable legal system war is one of the worst possible crimes. I aaaalmost had some respect for him and then he turned right around and said that if he killed the Prince it wouldn’t be murder because their countries are at war. The sheer HYPOCRISY.

Captain Carrot goes outside to read the arrested armies their rights and, yes, in a lovely little callback he starts a football match. I think this is also pretty clearly a reference to the possibly apocryphal Christmas football match between German and British soldiers during WWI.

Anyway at this point the Patrician shows up with a treaty of surrender and sends Vimes outside to the kids’ table while the grownups commit complicated legal crimes. Vimes sulks and Ahmed gives him a bit of a pat on the shoulder as they commiserate about their inability to stop the government from committing crimes.

Lord Rust apparently considers the Patrician’s surrender to Klatch a crime as well, because when everyone gets back to Ankh-Morpork he’s apparently to be tried for treason. At the trial, however, it comes out that the Prince traded a valuable military installation for Atlantis, which has since sunk under the sea again. This is portrayed as something the Patrician arranged specifically to effect a coup against the Prince rather than something that will bring Ankh-Morpork future military advantage for some baffling reason. Anyway, now central Klatch has a leader the Patrician is happier to deal with. Sorry, what? Deposing heads of government in desert countries to install governments we prefer is one of the most classic imperialist tactics?

 And that’s the plot. Now, because this podcast isn’t just ‘I tell you the plot of a Discworld book and you go oh good that saves me the trouble of reading it,’ I have another thing I want to discuss here, which is the Nobby-has-to-disguise-himself-as-a-woman subplot. It’s intended to be nothing but comic relief: Nobby is so ugly people always add a caveat that they’re not sure he’s human, and throughout the book we hear about him trying to figure out why girls aren’t into him. The moment he experiences gendered ill-treatment he begins to fully inhabit the role of a woman, going so far as to say that men can’t understand what he’s going through. He hangs out with a bunch of Klatchian women who like him a lot, mostly because his being foreign allows him to express opinions they’re too polite to express. I find it difficult to interpret this as the transmisogynistic joke it is probably intended to be, only because I so earnestly like the idea of Nobby as trans, relating to women as a woman. We see Nobby’s male perspective bundled into the foreignness of being from another country: this willingness to speak your mind and attack men in defense of other women.  I’ll always be wistfully thinking, what if Nobby just hung out with the ladies forever instead of going back to being a watchman? Probably be more likely to finally get a girlfriend, too.

 SO. Themes of Jingo.

Nationalism is bad. I can agree with this one.

Racism is bad… but ooooonly racism against humans. Sir Terry definitely does have certain kinds of racism he considers acceptable.

Brown people aren’t stupid, they have their own politics, and they’re just as capable as anyone else of being real fucked up bastards.

BUT… if the right circumstances present themselves, people of very different cultural backgrounds can get along.

I actually want to go on one last little diversion because I was just reading a very cute article on the 1914 Christmas Truce, which I’ll link in the notes. According to this article, the high command of both the German and British armies was desperate to keep the fighting going on Christmas because they were aware that men from two Christian nations would find common ground in their most important holiday and they did NOT want soldiers to start to think of the opposite side as human. So that declaring a truce on that day was actually an act of insubordination. There’s an account in the article of one location where Germans started singing Christmas songs to signal that they didn’t want to fight, and then met the British in no-man’s land to offer to give them some beer as a gift. The Brits reciprocated with plum pudding. No, I have no idea why they had plum pudding in the trenches. But what this story illustrates is the contrived nature of animosity in war, and the fact that putting in the effort to see all humans as people is a radical act when jingoism is king.

 That’s all I have for you tonight. Be well, and remember to consider the humanity of your neighbor. Bye.

[haggendazs-dispersion]

Soulmates (LAMP)

Ship: LoganxPattonxRomanxVirgil (LAMP)

AU: Human AU, Soulmates AU

Warnings: Bullying

Requested By: No One

Plot: Virgil, Patton, Roman, and Logan aren't sure what to make of the three names on their wrist, but fate couldn't have been kinder.

~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~

Virgil had no clue what to do with the names on his wrist. That's right, names. Not one, but three names, the names of his soulmates. No one knew he had three soulmates, god knows how well that would end. He didn't even understand how this happened, or how it worked.

Did they all have each other's names? Did they all have different names and he was doomed to be alone forever? Did they have each other's names and not his?

He had no clue.

No matter how confused he was, however, those names brightened his day. Being as anxious and socially awkward as he was, he was alone, but the names gave him hope of a brighter future.

He tried to imagine what they were like based off their names, imagined how they would meet, what their wedding would be like, anything to keep his mind off the real world around him. He spent every day thinking about Logan, Patton, and Roman, his soulmates.

~♧◇♡♤~

Patton loved having three names on his wrist, all the more people to hug and kiss and cuddle and just love. He didn't care that it was strange to have three soulmates, that it made no sense to the rest of the world. He was content to one day find and love the faces behind the names.

It made him even happier that all three names were on his wrist, and hopefully on theirs as well, because the world wouldn't be allowed to deny their love. It was legally binding that if their name is on your wrist and yours is on theirs, no one could separate you; they were not allowed to, you could not be denied anything based on who your soulmate is. Therefore, no one could deny them anything, including legally sanctified marriage.

He didn't spend much time imagining his soulmates. He was content with waiting to find out, rather than build up an image in his mind and be disappointed when they weren't like he imagined. He would love his soulmates unconditionally, that was why they were his soulmates. But he could never get their names out of his mind, Logan, Roman, and Virgil, his soulmates.

~♧◇♡♤~

Logan was confused. From what he originally understood at a young age was that everyone had a soulmate, a meaning singular. How did he end up with three? This surely meant all three had his name along with the other two, but how did this happen?

The older he got, the more he researched the topic. He found that it was not completely impossible to have multiple soulmates. It was just rare, even rarer to have three. The thought of being a statistic anomaly made him happy, it meant he was special, and so were his soulmates, even if they would always be special in his eyes.

He had an idea on what his soulmates would be like, but he wasn't sure. After extensive research on each of their names, he had an idea of their personality type, but he could be wrong. Part of him hoped he was right, part of hoped he was wrong, and all of him had no clue which part he agreed with more. But he did know their names, and something told him he would know them when he saw them. Patton, Roman, and Virgil, his soulmates.

~♧◇♡♤~

Roman was already in love with all three of his soulmates. He was already planning dates he could take them on, dates for all four of them, individual dates he could take each of them on. He was pretty sure he knew who his soulmates were. There were three boys in his classes with the same names on his wrist, and he was already in love with them all.

Logan was in his government class and his English class. He couldn't figure out why he was taking such basic classes, he was smart enough to take the honors classes the school offered, but he was thankful nonetheless.

Patton was in his art class, and damn was he talented. The teacher was constantly showing off his art to the rest of the class, and Roman loved every work he created.

Virgil was in his creative writing and gym class. He wasn't very athletic, he used every excuse he could to get out of actually doing activities, but he was an amazing writer. The teacher had read several of his writings out loud to the class, and while they may have been darker topics, but they were beautifully written.

He used his artistic talents to draw them to the best of his ability, he used his time in writing to create elaborate dates for them, he couldn't wait for the chance to introduce himself to them, to finally meet the loves of his life.

~♧◇♡♤~

Virgil's day started off horribly. He woke up way too early after a nightmare after staying up most of the night. Then when he arrived at school his bullies cornered him against his locker, shoving him into it, the lock digging into his spine, punching him, kicking him, spitting on him.

Roman saw this from down the hall, and he couldn't stand for it. He had no idea this was happening, but he wouldn't let it happen any longer. Roman rushed down the hall and tackled who looked like the main bully and punched him hard on the nose. The others scrambled away, running in all directions, and when he stood up, the boy he punched ran away as well. Roman turned to Virgil, who had collapsed to the floor and began to hyperventilate, a panic attack setting in. Roman had no clue what to do but tried anything he could to stop it, but nothing seemed to work.

Logan, who was walking by, felt drawn in by the two on the floor and immediately recognized that Virgil was having a panic attack. He crouched down and began to coach him through it, showing him how to breathe, reassuring him that he was fine when he failed, and smiling proudly when he was finally able to follow the breathing pattern, telling him how good he was doing.

Roman watched in amazement, falling even more in love at that moment, completely sure that he was right in assuming these two were two of the faces behind the names. Once Virgil could breathe normally and talk, Roman stood up to help him up off the floor and bring him to the nurse's office but instead ran into Patton, who was also walking by. Roman turned to apologize but froze when he saw who it was, his words caught in his throat.

Patton smiled kindly, before seeing Logan crouched in front of Virgil, whose cheeks were still stained with tears. "Is he okay?" He asked, worry creasing his face.

"He, uh, he should be, we were just going to take him to the nurse." Roman stuttered out in response. After a second he held out his hand, "Roman." He knew all three of them were staring at him, his name on their wrists.

Patton slowly took his hand and shook it, "Patton." His eyes never left Roman, as Logan and Virgil stared at them both. Logan stood himself up, then helped up Virgil, making sure he was able to stand properly on his own.

Once Roman and Patton finally looked away from each other, their hands dropping back to their sides, Logan spoke up. "I, uh, I'm Logan by the way." Roman just smiled wider as Virgil and Patton looked to Logan in surprise.

Suddenly, they all looked to Virgil expectantly. For a moment, he couldn't get a word out, these people he just met were his soulmates, and they were more amazing than he could ever imagine. Finally, he whispered out "Virgil." Roman continued to smile, already having known for months, but he let the other three take it in, process it.

"We should start toward the nurse. We can talk on the way there, and once we get there." Roman suggested. They slowly nodded and the four of them headed down the hall to the nurse.

"You're really calm about this." Logan pointed out after a moment, looking to Roman for an explanation. Patton and Virgil turned to look at him as well, realizing that Logan was right, Roman was abnormally calm.

Roman turned red and reached a hand up to scratch the back of his head. "I, uh, may or may not have already known. I had a hunch, more or less. You guys were in some of my classes, and I knew your names, and it made sense, and yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Patton asked.

Roman laughed slightly, "that would go over well. 'Hi, my name is Roman, I've been stalking you for months because I think you're one of my soulmates.'" They all laughed at that, even Virgil. He wasn't sure why he laughed, because he never does, but something about these three made him so happy, he couldn't help himself. "Anyway, I saw you guys in my classes, and I just... knew, I guess. I saw you and something in me just told me and then I found out your names and it just sealed the deal. I fell in love at first sight. I started planning dates, I tried to sketch you all in my notebooks any chance I got."

"Awww, that's sweet." Patton gushed, causing Roman to turn red all over again.

They continued to talk as they walked, getting to know each other, falling in love. They went on all the dates Roman had planned, and even more that he had yet to come up with. They got married, and it was beautiful and all of their friends and family showed up. They adopted two little boys and raised them as their own, and life was beautiful.

~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~

[jellybeanbeing]

A Reaper At The Gates by Sabaa Tahir

DISCLAIMER: This is the third book in the series and if you have not read this book or the first two, please be warned that the synopsis and the review will contain spoilers. But if you don’t care, by all means, do what you want. Thanks!

Synopsis: 

Beyond the Empire and within it, the threat of war looms ever larger.

The Blood Shrike, Helene Aquilla, is assailed on all sides. Emperor Marcus, haunted by his past, grows increasingly unstable, while the Commandant capitalizes on his madness to bolster her own power. As Helene searches for a way to hold back the approaching darkness, her sister’s life and the lives of all those in the Empire hang in the balance.

Far to the east, Laia of Serra knows the fate of the world lies not in the machinations of the Martial court, but in stopping the Nightbringer. But while hunting for a way to bring him down, Laia faces unexpected threats from those she hoped would aid her, and is drawn into a battle she never thought she’d have to fight.

And in the land between the living and the dead, Elias Veturius has given up his freedom to serve as Soul Catcher. But in doing so, he has vowed himself to an ancient power that will stop at nothing to ensure Elias’s devotion–even at the cost of his humanity.

REVIEW TIME! With spoilers!

Where do I even start with this book… I know after I finished Torch, this book was going to shred me to pieces. And it did. So much. Starting this book, I was so nervous and scared. While reading, I was still so nervous and scared. The thing about this series is that YOU CAN’T TRUST ANYONE. Not even our main characters. And I think that is what kept me on the edge of my seat. You just never knew what each character’s true intentions were. All in all, I was a freaking mess throughout this entire story.

SO MANY QUESTIONS WERE ANSWERED IN THIS BOOK. And I’m so happy about it but before we get to that, the Nightbringer had solo chapters! I actually liked seeing his perspective (even if it was only like, two chapters). I was able to understand him more because if you read my Torch review, you would know that I hate him. Now, I hate him less? I don’t know. I just think that he’s become a more complex character that I could kind of understand. Still whenever the Nightbringer showed up, I found myself yelling, “Go away! Stay away from my babies!" 

Elias’s chapters for me this time around were not my favorite. It felt like it was there to still have him included in the story and I’m sad because I wanted to see so much more of him! But I have to say that it was interesting to see Elias’s transition from being human into becoming the Soul Catcher. It was so heartbreaking because he didn’t want to let go of it but it’s always freaking duty first. 

The part that really stood out to me in his chapters was when Elias entered the jinn grove and saw the history behind them and then eventually he sees his past with his mom. You finally understand the story of the jinn and who they were before they were imprisoned. You also get to see the more human side of the Commandant which is always good to see (in my opinion) because it adds a lot of mystery and depth to her character. The fact that she visited Elias when he was still in the Tribes without the intention of killing him and asked what his name was kind of broke my heart. I’m hoping in the next book we understand the Commandant’s true feelings towards Elias.

On the topic of the Commandant, what the flipping fudge nuggets is she planning to do? She doesn’t exactly want to be Empress so what does she want to be? Her whole character is a freaking mystery. Even with some more knowledge on her, she’s still so unpredictable. We finally know why she’s such a cold hearted bitch. With everything that has happened to her, I think it fueled her to become the way she is. Similar to the Nightbringer, knowing more of her past makes her character better to understand but it does not excuse her of doing all the horrible shit she’s done. 

My love for Laia has grown so much since the first book. I’m constantly enjoying how she’s growing so much as a person. In the first book, she was always so doubtful of herself and never saw herself as someone strong but as the story progressed, she’s become a leader who fights for what she wants and is a strong and confident woman. I LOVE IT! 

The part where Laia went off about how Darin was the reason why everything happened and why everyone was either dead or imprisoned was so shocking for me to read. I think it was because Laia never elaborated on her feelings about Darin besides wanting to save him. But I was glad she kind of cleared the air between them because a lot of stuff happened and they weren’t talking about it. 

Also, Laia confessed her feelings about Elias… SHE LOVES HIM. Finally! She was always referring to Elias as her friend even though they had romantic relations with each other. I was so frustrated whenever Elias came close to telling Laia what he said the night he left her to go to Kauf. I WAS READY TO CRY. We obviously know what it was but Laia doesn’t know! I was prepared to have my heart punched at BUT IT NEVER CAME. So I guess we have to wait for book 4.

Oh my goodness! Can we talk about that scene where Elias and Laia get rated R? I was anticipating it but not in the way we got it. Elias is suddenly transported into Laia’s room after seeing his former best friend, Helene bleeding to death and then Elias and Laia just go at it. I mean, I loved it, glad we got it but kind of wished we got more because it was cut off so abruptly. 

But COOK IS LAIA’S MOM. I did not see that one coming. I mean, I should’ve! But the way the Cook was described, I tossed the possibility from my mind. I was hoping for a rekindling of the relationship but that didnt happen and I understand that because Cook is not the same person she was back then. It definitely broke my heart when she sacrificed herself so that Laia and Helene could make it out alive. 

Now let’s get to Helene! Her chapters were probably my favorite throughout the entire book. They were always so interesting and action packed. We got to see Helene grow so much in this book and with every chapter, you could see her growth. I loved it when she said, "Hope is stronger than fear. It is stronger than hate.” This quote will forever resonate with me. 

To see Helene so broken and vulnerable at the end was just heartbreaking. She was willing to give up her life and her soul to save her people. UGH! When the Nightbringer showed up and asked Helene for “a piece of her soul” and she ripped her mask off, I bawled my eyes out. Also, I had no idea that the last piece of the star was her mask! But also, why was it that Laia and Helene owned pieces of the star? 

I’m so looking forward to Helene and Laia’s friendship! The moments they had in this book were so touching. Right in the beginning, Laia and Helene have this heart to heart moment that makes me want to cry. They understand each other and have this bond that I want to blossom. At the end, they have another moment together where they’re actually nice to each other. I can’t wait for the small training scenes with Helene and Laia in book 4 and for this friendship! 

Guys, I think I love Avitas Harper. I was still kind of skeptical about his character throughout the book but once we got to know a little more about him, my inquires about him disappeared. I WANT MORE SCENES WITH HELENE AND AVITAS! Throughout the book, you can feel their relationship shifting to a more romantic one and I’m all for it! Harper is so protective of Helene and he cares about her so much. I love him! When they kissed at the end, I was so happy because they finally allow themselves to have that moment and to let each other in. But then Helene just closes herself in again and I’m just like, no! Anyways, I’m here for this ship, I will sail with it.

Honestly with having read Reaper, I have absolutely no clue how the last book will turn out. I’m really hoping that no one I love dies. Its happened to me too much already. I’m so curious where and how everything will end! I need the next book soon!! Giving this 4.7/5 stars.