#excuse the bg my brain is juiced

[dashflashy-arts]

Really tried to think of a mom to draw for Mother’s day, but I can’t stop thinking about these two!

Shhh y’all!! he’s trying to give his dad a gift

Bonus:

rip to the fam

[maatikikhushboo]

Rozaana Rikara #5 Flop Trials to do the DEED

Presenting you all the hogwash rozaana !  👌 👌 👌

The episode starts with Om waking Rudra -- 

“Kitna besharam insaan hai, sher bulaake ghode bech kar so raha hai”

This Rudra man sleeps in reverse always ? LOL

“Hidden hi rehne de uss talent ko ! Teri tarah teri plan bhi flop hai.”

Ikr ! I am watching Flopbaaz ! 

Enter Chirraiyya and Bhavya - “Hum karenge”

What is with the writers? A DVD seriously ! A classic C grade film named Prem ki Devi -- I need to bang my head now ! Really ? We need to see such content for getting into mood ? It seems like flower khan is promoting this bhojpuri stuff. Yuck ! Ab aur kya ?

Gauri, Bhavya, Ru and Om busy

“Ab kaam aayenge humaare nuske.”

Presenting another so called aphrodisiac ??? OmRuRiVya, Please go buy a life for yourselves. Inspite of your failed attempt#1 of so called royal bengal tiger shit instead of royal romance kit, it’s high time you stop this. ShivIka don’t need your help to DO THE DEED ! Sigh !  😤 😤 😤 

“Babajiki prem booti. ( Rudra just starts seeing Om’s booty but Om just lifts his face up, looool. Ru man, it’s not beat pe booty it’s jadi booti ! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 ) Woh bohut hi asar kaari booti hai. Woo khaate hi na, Bade bhaiyya aur Bhaujaai, ek dum harharaike kareeb aajayenge.”

Gauri is just cute. Her expressions are just  😍 😘

“Ek min, Meri pyaari biwi, tumhe iske baare mein kaise pata”

“Hum...”

Then she explains about advertisements in her village. And that every newly wed couple takes the babaji ki booti with them for honeymoon. On the other side, Annika is so excited about the plucking DVD. I am like this is now a new level of shit -- booti and DVD just BALDERDASH.

Gauri plans to mix that herb in juice. Meanwhile Daadi comes and takes that DVD. Sadkay jaava. She is all happy. 

Oh shit man !  😂

Gauri is all ready with the juice. Om comes. 

What ! Seems like RiKara are going to talk *rubbing my eyes* 

“Woh kal jab hum Shivaay aur bhaabhi ke baare mein baat kar rahe the na, aur past ki, matlab mere ex ki baat nikli thi, aur kuch awkward ho gaya tha, kyunki mujhe actually pata nahi tha ke, tumhe kya pata hai, aur kitna pata hai. Lekin main nahi chaahta hoon ke hamaare beech koi secrets rahe toh main tumhe sab kuch clearly bataana chaahta hoon...”

“Omkaaraji, uski koi jaroorat nahi hai. Beete kal ke baare mein baat karke ka phaayada...... (I just can’t write the whole thingy...coz I can’t bear the extra sweetness, now don’t judge me for that !)

“Thank You. Pata hai Gauri, Main bohut lucky hoon. ( I know man ! Thank your stars for that. ) Kyunki tum bohut acchi ho.”

And he pulls her into a hug. 

Please man ! Stop playing that same female saathiya all the time. I mean, it should be either male or duet acc to the scene. It’s just waste of time blabbering about the editing. These mismatches were always part and parcel of IB. Kabhi toh sudharjaao  👺

(I am totally fine with the bang on writing inconsistency for these two uber adorable eye candy people. Uggh !  😈)

There comes Pinky --

“Oh my Maata ! Tum dono kitchens mein kya kar rahe ho?”

Gauri and Om excuse themselves from Pinky.

“Oh My Maata, shaadishuda hoke bhi itna sharmaate hain, how sweets !”

( how the hell did she change into smiles sweets Pinky ...is it because of some other babaji ki booti ?  😂 😂 😂 )

Waise, Om doesn’t like KEBAB MEIN HADDIS. His closing his eyes expression was just evident, now and when Ru banged his room’s door. 

Gauri asks Sankarji for aashirvaad for her plan’s success. Well  😂

Annika plan’s to surprise and all go wrong because after drinking the juice, Shivaay feels pukeworthy and unwell. Then the DVD plays (exchanged one) and bhajan starts ! I feel so bad for them. No wonder that for these things planning never works 🤣 🤣 🤣

After listening to the bhajan sound from ShivIka’s room, Gauri is like -

“Iss baat mein bhi, pehle bhagvaan ji ka naam lena hai?”  🤣 🤣 🤣

Nosy chirrayya, contemplating whether she should check ShivIka or not. And what a timing Om ! I think he is in *ahem ahem*

Wait a minute ! Is it a Jal jal ke dhuaan version 2 ? *facepalm*

Now I know that Gauri’s babaji was no one other than our own Buaa Maa in the disguise of Baba. She wants Ratan asap ! Pluck you babaji !

Om is eating cake and winks at her. Gauri is like *what is with you now*.  Her expressions are just bang on  🤣 🤣 🤣

“Omkaaraji, aap yahan pe kaa kar rahein hain?”

“Ssh ! Omkaara ji nahi, Om tumhaara Om, Om” (Om throughout was sounding like a sexy seductress  🤣 🤣 🤣 . He is all touchy touchy. He kisses her hand. He mumbles some damn sher which I didn’t understand and is eating cake continuously. Damn man ! If this is intoxication, how would the reality be ? )

“Kya hogaya aapko? Achanak ?! Ee cake ...”

“Cake. Beautiful Cake, Delicious Cake. Tumhe pata hai, jabse maine yeh cake khaaya hai na, ek alag sa suroor sa aa gaya hai badan mein.”  (God! can’t hear his alluring tone anymore!  What the duck man ! It’s just becoming difficult for me to handle now. )

(Pluck you again writers for making Om says all these things under intoxication. I should calm my shipper heart now.)

When Om tries to make her eat the cake, Gauri recognises the herb’s smell. 

FB --

I knew it that it was Pinky man 🤣 🤣 🤣 . She by mistake spilled the juice on cake and made juice with the rotten oranges. Becharay ShivKara  🤣 🤣 🤣

Dadi is just gobsmacked watching the video. That stupid bg of the video.  🤣 She just closes her eyes unable to bear. Poor soul ! You writers didn’t even spare her. Loosers !  🤣 🤣 🤣

“Ye laaya Billu mere liye, Arre band karo isse. Keede pade tor pitte muh!” 

Gauri tries explaining Om about the herb in his cake and he starts singing.

“Kuch Na kaho, kuch bhi na kaho ”

He stuffs the cake in his mouth and picks her up. She closes her mouth and he swirls along with her in his hands. He tries to feed that cake *ahem ahem* from m to m. She places a hand on his mouth. He kicks the door open and they enter their room. 

“Ab hum kamre mein aagayein hai, ab humein utaar deejiye. Humein darr lag raha hai aapse, aap kya karne waale hain?”

“Muuah” (sounds)

“Chii ! Dekhiye Omkaaraji, koi aajayega, aap humaari baat sun lee jiye.”

(Na, woh ab koi baat nahi sun ne waala hai. Usse toh aapke babaji ki booti chad gayi hai. Btw, if this all happens under intoxication then what would happen under reality? My brain is again full of headcanons)   😱 

He places her on the bed and bends to kiss her but instead rolls and dozes off to sleep.🤣 🤣 🤣 Gauri’s expressions are on the point again.

ShivIka are just cursing their fate and talking about the KARMON KA PHAL. Seriously ? Not being able to do the deed as planned is because of karma? Sigh ! And Shivaay’s screams just remind me of something altogether rather than upset stomach. After they extinguish the fire, the room is just in debris. And again the song plays “Dil ke armaan aanso mein beh gaye”   🤣 🤣 🤣

Catlady and Flower Khan are just rab ne banadi jodi. I am just speechless ! Almighty please save me from this claptrap ! And pluck me for watching this shitbaaz !  🤢

Cheers, L !  😷

P.S : Why the hell did we need a reboot of Jal jal ke dhuaan kinda dry run before the DEED for Rikara ? RiKara fans have always kept expectations low. Why the hell did you have to spoil our headcanons ?  Now with this dry run, my heart is again gathering hopes.  🙄 🙄 🙄

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz lbs: 4th + 5th may

suchhhh bad acting by the qaidis. lord, why can’t this show get better extras? 😐😐😐

pft. shivaay singh oberoi just DANCED around drunk on magic berries with a bigger gun than that. try harder, qaidis. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao, shuru ho gayi apni madam. 😋😋😋

HAHAHAHA AMAR PREM 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“naam sunte hai pata chala tha tum filmy aur awaara kism ke ladke ho, but no! tum toh nikkame aur nithalle bhi ho.” 😂😂😂

lol shivaay’s reaction to her ENERGY. 😂😂😂

OMG JUST WHEN I THINK I CAN’T LOVE ANIKA MORE, SHE QUOTES ANDAZ APNA APNA. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, I WOULD DIE FOR THIS GIRL. I WOULD. MOVE OVER SHIVAAY. NO ONE CAN LOVE HER MORE THAN ME. 😭😭😭

this is exaaaaaaaaactly how i react when ppl tell me they haven’t seen andaz apna apna. 😧😧😧

jesus i feel like gul & co. are stalking me. *looks around suspiciously*

these qaidis need to get a grip with the bad acting. 😕😕😕

shivaay is so undeserving of my queen. can she leave his unappreciative ass and marry me? ours shall be a happy, andaz apna apna quote filled union. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽

why are the qaidis holding hands? are they lovers, ‘i love you philip morris’ style? 🤔🤔🤔

also i swear i’ve seen the moochi waala qaidi somewhere before. 😐😐😐

lmaooooooooo shivaay’s faceeee when she keeps talking. 😂😂😂

lol, the moochi waala qaidi is thissss close to losing it. i guess you need to be exposed to anika for a really long time to build up resistence the way shivaay has. 😋😋😋

whattttt kinda stupidass police doesn’t know what the faraar qaidi look like? 😒😒😒

i really think the qaidi are lovers. look how affectionately that one is sehlaofying the other one’s knee. 😙😙😙

who died and made anika the leading expert on tyres? 🙄🙄🙄

lol, sach mein aaj bohut bakbak kar rahi hai. i think she MIGHT still be high on berry juice. 😂😂😂

lo. aur police. 😐😐😐

finally. someone knows what INDIA’S LEADING BUSINESSMAN looks like. 😒😒😒

BIWI BIWI BIWI BIWI. man is unstoppable. i think he’s just glad someone’s married to his annoying ass.  😂😂😂

aaaaaaaaand moochi waala qaidi’s lost his temper finally. 😝😝😝

OUFF, SHIVAAY. YOU’RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT. I THINK THIS IS PROOF HE’S A BONAFIDE OBEROI, COZ SUCH DUMBASSERY IS 100% OBEROI GENES. 😑😑😑 

lol anika talking about her hair routine featuring mehendi reminds me of the scene where she offers omkaara shikakai and reetha waala shampoo as thanks for clearing her name of the chip waala accusation. 😂😂😂

why the fuck hasn’t shivaay noticed that the policeman is out cold???? 😒😒😒

CODEWORD BHI NAHI SMAJHTA, BEWAKOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😤😤😤

“lagta hai bhabiji ko antakshari khelni hai.” lmao 😂😂😂

haha shivaay’s fake laugh. 😂😂😂

oh god, please don’t make HIM sing. 🙉🙉🙉

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG SHIVAAY’S GETTING MAD THAT ANIKA’S SINGING DURING HIS TURN. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay singh oberoi, antakshari enthusiast. who knew. 😇😇😇

… i’m so surprised shivaay even knows how to play antakshari. it’s such a LS game as far as he’s concerned. 🤔🤔🤔

LMAO LOOK AT HIM ENJOYING ‘GOLI MAAR BHEJEEEE MEIN’ AS IF IT’S SOME CLASSICAL RAAG 😂😂😂😂

oh godddddddddddddd now he’s even singing along to oye oye. this fucking idiot. 😂😂😂

FUCKINGGGGGG FINALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY! 

LOL WHY IS HE STILLL SINGINGGGG ALONNNNNGGG???? 😂😂😂

could youuuuu people run a little FURTHER, and not just stop at the first thing you found???????? idiots. 😒😒

“tum theek ho?” awwww 😭😭😭😭

lmaooo “haan par US WAQT ka code word tha na!” pffffffft. typical husband wala excuse. 🙄🙄🙄

“TOH ACHCHI QUALITY KA BRAIN KHAREEDNA CHAHIYE THA NA!!!!!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

he doesn’t know what oootpataang means??? it’s a normal word though?? 😐😐😐

I TOLD YOU FUCKERS TO RUN FURTHERRRRRRRRRRR 😩😩😩

qaidis are taking full opportunity to fucking ACT the fuck out of the 3 minutes given to them. 😒😒😒

shivaay, you know she’s not gonna leave your stupid ass, as much as you deserve it. it’s her one fatal flaw. 😑😑😑

pffffffft, so only you can talk crap about how much she talks eh? 🙄🙄🙄

lmaooooooo anika and her thermocol ka stone. 😂😂😂

qaidi 2 ki actingggggggg. amazing. 

headcanon: patidev was finding anika all types of sexy and advancing to kiss the crap outta her when that stupid qaidi interrupted. 😠😠😠

is this the time to pick a fight, shivaay? kissss her! 😚😚😚

i feel like my liveblogs these days should just be a bullet point after bullet point screaming “kiss her!!!!!!!!!!!” and nothing more. 😐😐😐

please, is that why you stood in front of a gun, ready to take a bullet with her name on it FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME???? 🙄🙄🙄

this is an equal opportunity bullet-taking relationship, asshole. you better accept that and get used to it, mister. 😑😑😑

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO THEM SCREAMING SHUT UP AT THE QAIDI. AND HIM ACTUALLY PUTTING HIS FINGER ON HIS LIPS. 😂😂😂😂

she’s right. it is yourrrrr fault, shivaay. your nosy NKK enquiring ass is to fault! 😒😒😒

“haddi-tod bhi” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO 😂😂😂

I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS KANJI EYED MOTHERFUCKER GETS HIMSELF SHOT AGAIN, IMMA RESURRECT HIS DEAD ASS AND KILL HIM ALL OVER AGAIN MYSELF. AND IT’LL BE PAINFUL AND FUCKING SLOW. FUCKING HELL. 😡😡😡

5th may

lmaoooooo wait, they’re really named AMAR PREM? hahahahahaha 😂😂😂

shivaay’s sideeye at the qaidis while watching them argue. 😂😂😂

“mere koooo kyunnn maaara????” - said in the same voice and tone as “tere ko kisneee maaara????????” from gunda 😂😂😂

anika’s turn to stand in front now. #feminism 💁🏽💁🏽💁🏽

oh mooch wale qaidi. that was a mistake. you made SSO angry. you won’t like him when he’s angry. 😬😬😬

“BIIIIIIIIIIWIIIIII HAI MERIIIIIIIIIII! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS RAN OUT ON MY ASS ON MY WEDDING DAY???? YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET HER TO MARRY ME? AND TO KEEP HER MARRIED TO ME ON A DAILY BASIS? IT’S FUCKING HARD. DON’T YOU FUCKING BE SHOOTING AT THE ONLY WOMAN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH WHO CAN TOLERATE ME!!!!!!!!”

lol nakuul having to stand on his tippy toes to match the qaidi’s height. 😂😂😂

why’s he pointing the gun towards himself tho? such a fucking idiot. 😒😒😒

pfffffffffft, i already know the qaidi’s the one who’s getting shot. awaaiiiii ka drama. 🙄🙄🙄

looks like policeman finallly fucking woke up from his mini coma. 😐😐😐

also, god, so overdramatic, mooch waale qaidi. bas haath pe hi toh laga hai. that’s like a rudra level graaaaaaze. ask these two how a gunshot to the fucking chest feels. 😒😒😒

yaaaaaaaaaaas, you hug the crap outta your husband girl. 😊😊😊

and since he’s not taking the initiative, maybe YOU kiss him. it’s 2017, girls can do that now. 🙆🏽🙆🏽🙆🏽

coz she loves your dumb ass, you dumbass. 😒😒😒

ouff. you two. less fighting. more makeout-ing. 🙄🙄🙄

oh ho, ghoom phir ke back to NKK. 😑😑😑

btw, is this all happening in front of the chor-police? like… you two should maybe take this behind that wall. 😕😕😕

aw. he’s trying. 😭😭😭

i know he is, but… come on man, you’re a grownass adult. you gotta learn how to control your impulses. you can’t just do whatever the fuck you “want”. i WANT to quit my job and just stay in bed, braless all day. i WANT to never eat another healthy meal again and just subsist on potato chips and popcorn for the rest of my life. can i do that? NO. COZ THAT’S WHAT BEING A GODDAMN ADULT IS ABOUT. YOU CONTROL YOUR IMPULSES AND DO THE RIGHT THING. 😒😒😒

aaaah, finally she said it. 😭😭😭

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

also, crying. my boy’s grown up. he’s SO grown up. waaaaaah. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

amazing what some rottenass alcoholic berries and having a gun pointed in your face can do! they’ve given this man the self awareness he’s been lacking for 33 fucking years. 😐😐😐

ok, did he stay up all night reading some relationship therapy book or what? he’s talking classic counselling language. 🤔🤔🤔

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, they love each other sooooo muchhhhhhhhhh. and iiiiiiiii love them soooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

COULD YOU FUCKERS AT LEAST FUCKING KISS NOW?!!? 😩😩😩

GODDAMNIT POLICE OFFICER!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY WERE GONNA KISS! THEY ALREADY HAVE A BROTHER WHO DOES GHATIYA INOPPORTUNATELY TIMED SHAYARI BACK HOME. NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOUR STUPIDASS FUCKING SHER. 😡😡😡

also, where did the second policeman come from?? 

GO HOME AND SEXXXXXXXX NOW!!!!!!!!!!! 👉🏽👌🏽👉🏽👌🏽👉🏽👌🏽

walk, you spoilt braaaatttt! 🙄🙄🙄

CHAMPA!!!!!!!!! 😇😇😇

lmaooooo anika’s wonderstruck look at her ownnnn hands. such fucking cute. i love her so much. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

lmaoooooo “zindagi bharrrr yeh sunna hoga” suchhhhh a typical husband. 😂😂😂

lol tumhare paas jet THAAA. it crashed, remember? 😋😋😋

LMAO SHE’S SOOOOO ME. SUCHHHH A PATRONIZING SMUGASS BITCHHHHHH. 😂😂😂

awwww look how nervous he is. 😊😊😊

HELLO CHAMPU! 😂😂😂 

she just SHOVED him offffff lmaooooo 😂😂😂😂

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HE’S COVERING HIS FACE!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂

“dono” haha awwwwwwwwww 😙😙😙

“is baare mein kisi ko bataana mat.” 

omgggggggg this adorable fuckerrrrr. 💘💘💘💘

“pair theek se aa rahe hai?“ 

kyun nahi aayenge? utniiiii height toh hai nahi iski. 😋😋😋

lollllllllllllllllllll he doesn’t know what to do with his handsssssssss. 😂😂😂

why the random flashbacks to the #shitia party? 🤔🤔🤔

ouffffff, back to this hellhole. can’t my babies just stayyyyy in the foresttttttttt? 😫😫😫

lmaoooooooo look at him saunter in coooooolllly in the bg. 😆😆😆

UGH. CALM DOWN MUMMEH. HE’S BACK NOW. 🙄🙄🙄

and fuck your passive aggressiveness. 😑😑😑

shivaay’s silent but slightly annoyed “I’M A GROWNASS ADULT” face is my permanant face at my mom. 😐😐😐

mummeh doesn’t appreciate being dismissed like that. 😬😬😬

nor does she appreciate him being a GOOD FUCKING HUSBAND. THERE IS NOTHING I FUCKING HATE MORE THAN THIS DESI CONCEPT OF “JORU KA GHULAM”. IT’S CALLED BEING A CONSIDERATE, LOVING HUSBAND. MAJAAAAAL HAI KI THE PATRIARCHY LET A MAN BE DEMONSTRABLY AFFECTIONATE AND CARING TOWARDS HIS GODDAMN WIFE. 👿👿👿👿

i’ve said it once, i’ll say it again: fuck you very much pinky. please die, thanks. 👹👹👹☠☠☠

god what nonsense. looks like gauri’s bullshit #pativrataness is spreading via air to anika. ugh. LET HIM TOUCH YOUR GODDAMN FEET IF THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS. 😒😒

goddddddd pinkyyyyyyyyyy, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!!!!! BHOOT KE TARAH MANDARAAA RAHI HAI HAMESHA. 😑😑😑

and he said he doesn’t wanna do the damn pooja. DROP IT, MUMMEH! 😠😠😠

yeah, whatever. good luck trying. now leave. 🙄🙄🙄

“khud ko change karne ki koshish kar raha hoon. mere liye tumhara naam khoon khaandaan TUMSE IMPORTANT NAHI HAI.“ 

excuse me. it’s raining on my face. 😭😭😭

… ”HUMAAAAAAARE LIYE”. SAY IT! SAY IT! 🙃🙃🙃

HAAAAAAAA, HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂

“ek dusre ke liye goli khaa sakte hai… toh mom ki gaali khaa hi sakte hai.“ 

lol idk about you shivaay, but i’d rather khaaofy goli rather than mom ki gaali, coz desi moms and their daant is waaaay more emotionally traumatic. 😫😫😫

also, waaaaaaaaaaaaah, i loveeeee himmmmmmmmmm. 😭😭😭

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT MAHI VE CONFIRMED TO BE SHIVAAY KA BHAI 😱😱😱

today’s lb will be put up like… waaaaaay later. :)