#except. it's so focused on the pretty imagery that it forgets to actually plot the plot so it's just a bunch of disjointed Big Moments

[icedille]

WAIT WAIT I GOT IT I GOT WHAT IT IS THE!! the problem with saltburn is that it uses its imagery exactly like a music video would!!!! it rarely feels like deliberate symbolism that directly translates to the text but more like an amalgam of only superficially related iconography (the images somewhat go together but not the meanings they vaguely gesture towards to) whose main purpose is looking good visually and not supporting the story!! so you kind of get the sense that there isn't really one it just feels like a clip for some obscure artsy rock band's top single with around 1 mil. views on youtube! except it's two hours long!!!!!

[gunnerpalace]

(These asks were reordered from bottom-to-top to top-to-bottom for clarity.)

Alright, so the first thing I want to say in response to this is actually best summarized in the form of a song:

You are somebody that I don't know But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón And I'm just like, damn, it's 7 AM Say it in the street, that's a knock-out But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out And I'm just like, "Hey, are you okay?"

And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' 'bout somebody else is no fun And snakes and stones never broke my bones

So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh You need to calm down, you're being too loud And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh) You need to just stop Like can you just not step on my gown? You need to calm down

I would like you to seriously reread what you’ve written here (and copy-and-pasted to others) and tell me that it doesn’t come across as more than a little obsessive and psychotic. "This may seem like hate, but it's not," you said anonymously, before going on a rant to strangers on the internet whom you had nominated as the representatives of "you guys." Sure, okay, Heather.

Well, regardless, let’s go through this. First, you don't understand 685/686. I've been over this before several times, but I will go over this one final time, as simply as I can. That said, I can't guarantee that you will understand it when I do. I was unable to successfully tutor 1st graders how to do addition because my perspective was, "Either you understand it or you don't," and I don't have the background in math to make such a simple concept exciting. The same might be true of this, because there is no way to critically analyze these chapters more succinctly than this, and so you still might not get it.

The point of 685/686, thematically, is that absolutely no one got what they wanted.

Renji wanted to surpass Byakuya. He remains Byakuya's Lieutenant and has to settle for being under his sister (figuratively and probably literally too) who now also outranks him as a Captain.

Rukia wanted to reform Soul Society into a more humane institution that protects all souls. It is the same as it ever was, and if anything has doubled down on its practices by rebuilding the Soukyoku (on which it tried to kill her) a hundred times larger, and she is one of its main wardens.

Uryuu wanted anything but to be a doctor, ever since he watched his mom being autopsied by his dad. He is now a doctor, and all alone at that.

Chad promised his grandfather to never hurt people with his fists. He is now a boxer, doing exactly that for money.

Orihime wanted to go out and have several different exciting careers. She is instead a stay-at-home mom.

Ichigo wanted to save a "mountain full" of people, be Superman, leave Karakura, and be a Shinigami. He instead appears to run Isshin's clinic now.

So, yes, you are correct: Kubo chose that Ichigo wind up with Orihime. It is exceedingly clear, from the context, that this is absolutely not a good thing.

That point is further reemphasized by Yhwach’s threat to come kill Ichigo and everyone else when they are at their happiest. And when does he reappear?

When Ichigo saw Rukia again.

Not when Ichigo asked Orihime out. Not when they started dating, officially or unofficially. Not when they were married. Not when she gave birth to his son. Not when his son said his first words.

Not when anything happened with Orihime or Kazui, but when he saw Rukia again.

That is your “Kubo-sensei” telling you directly that the happiest moment in Ichigo’s life was just simply seeing Rukia again, and not anything involving Orihime in any capacity whatsoever.

All of that should tell you that Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship is not exactly the stuff legends are made out of, because them winding up together is explicitly portrayed as a downer ending. A bad ending. 

If you cared at all about the characters—if you cared at all about their desires, or their happiness—or if you cared at all that IchiHime was presented as even merely good, let alone destined or fated or whatever else, then you would be offended by this ending too. 

Because the ending is “Kubo-sensei” straight-up unequivocally telling you that IchiHime is bad and tragic. It is something that one must demonstrate “courage” in the face of. It requires stoicism. It is a bad ending, but that’s life. That’s what the ending means.

He did you dirty too. You just don’t want to see it, because you are so obsessed with the concept of “winning.” Well, this was mutually-assured destruction: everyone lost. Especially you.

Moving on: no, Kubo doesn’t really get attention or money from us. I’m not really sure where this idea comes from.

I’m not an expert on Japanese intellectual property rights and licensing, but I know enough about them in general to know that very little if any money goes to Kubo personally from ongoing Bleach merchandise sales. For example, KLab more than likely has a contract with Shueisha (representing Kubo, hence why they’re put together on BBS’s title card), TV Tokyo, Dentsu, and Pierrot, wherein they pay those entities a fixed amount to license Bleach per year or per contractual term. It’s not like Kubo is making money off of every orb purchase or every figurine sold or something. These things don’t work like that.

As for attention, he’s still hiding from social media (for reasons of his own, unrelated to the fandom), and the people who give him attention are... you. People like you. “True Bleach fans” who can’t stop treating all his shit like it’s solid gold. We have made it fairly clear we don’t need him or care what he thinks.

Regarding BBS, maybe you haven’t noticed, but the majority of the imagery they use is IchiRuki-focused. The last title screen was IchiRuki. The Guild button is IchiRuki. The Events button is IchiRuki. The Chronicle Quest button is IchiRuki. Here, I’ve helpfully highlighted this for you:

While they do occasionally toss IH a bone, the last January event also ended on an IR note despite the ridiculous crowing about it being IH. While I’m at it, even the current supposedly “IH” title screen is anything but.

It doesn’t take Michelangelo or Da Vinci to figure out the composition here is not terribly suggestive. While Rukia is indeed off to one side, the fact Uryuu, Zangetsu, and the title card are between Ichigo and Orihime (and they’re looking in different directions) makes it pretty evident that they’re not being visually associated together. It is at best a “general” title screen. Uryuu is showing more visual interest in Ichigo than Orihime is.

I’ll come back to “the anime” in a minute. Let’s talk about their “tag-team move.” Do you mean the one that ended like this?

This one that didn’t work whatsoever?

This one where Ichigo wasn’t concerned at all that Orihime might be dead or dying as she lay there on the ground?

This one where he absolutely gave into despair?

How romantic. Truly, what an excellent battle-couple they make. Their combat effectiveness and synergy is just astounding. I for one would love to see it animated.

(Let’s not forget that later, Orihime can’t repair Zangetsu without some nonsense shenanigans from Tsukishima either. Just like how her healing abilities are useless against any sufficiently strong residual reiatsu. Ah, but that would require reading the manga closely...)

Finally, on to the idea of the anime returning. Here’s the thing: news about a trailer also doesn’t really mean anything. Sure, it could be TYBW. Or it could be The Honey Dish Rhapsody. Or it could be a thousand other things. I neither know, nor particularly care, what it actually is, on top of my explanations as to why animating TYBW would be a dumb business decision.

Here’s why: even if it is a TYBW anime, it will have to be an adaptation of TYBW. They will still have to follow the plot of TYBW. And TYBW was a pile of shit. It wasn’t just a pile of shit for IR, it was a pile of shit in general, and a pile of shit for IH in particular.

Perhaps you don’t recall that Orihime spends most of the arc off-panel, having been ditched in Hueco Mundo for most of it (chapters 500–586)?

Oh, but just think, you wouldn’t just get to see the Ichigo-Orihime “tag team” attack totally and utterly failing! You’d also get delights like:

Orihime and Chad utterly failing to believe in Ichigo! (Just like in the Xcution arc where it was demonstrated that Byakuya was a truer friend to Ichigo than either of them!)

Orihime being reduced to a pair of tits, each bigger than her own head!

Ichigo totally ignoring Orihime!

And who can forget the delight of Orihime selling out her dignity to dress slutty at Kisuke’s suggestion to try and get Ichigo’s attention, only for it to not work at all?

Yes, truly, TYBW would be a fantastic arc for IH that would surely win over the populace and convince everyone of the chemistry between these two characters!

Except it wouldn’t. Because they have no chemistry. And they didn’t. See, what’s really funny is that not only did TYBW not give you anything, but it was just following up on the Xcution arc not giving you anything.

Because ORIHIME VISION was played for laughs, just like say, Shuhei constantly is.

Because despite Chad and Orihime being about as important to Ichigo, he couldn’t even bother to say bye. 

Because he just didn’t have time to deal with her bullshit.

I could go on, but this post is already long enough.

You see, you’re real keen to dismiss "all the scene or poem shit or parallel or the hell else thing," but the truth is, that’s all there is to a manga. It is panels of art and text on a page. The rest is just in your head. And it is from those panels of art and text that animated scenes and spoken dialogue would be created. And the funny thing is... there are no IH moments in these arcs. They simply don’t exist.

So really, what you’re hoping and praying for is not just for TYBW to be adapted. Given your evident thirst, I doubt that the perhaps 5–10 minute epilogue of 685/686 at the end of 4–5 seasons would be enough for you. You’d need the animation team to decide to sprinkle in a whole lot of IH filler along the way too.

That didn’t work out so hot for the Xcution arc. How did that one end again? Oh, that’s right: they made up their own (better) ending for it. Are you really willing to bet your money on a TYBW anime going out of its way for IH, if you even get it? Or would you really be satisfied with those 5–10 minutes? Are you really so sure you’d even still get them?

Ultimately, I don’t care. You’re blocked. But, I will say this: in a way I almost kind of pity you. It seems really sad being a militant anonymous IH, desperately and eternally craving outside validation. You have so very little to cling to. It must be hard.

Good luck with that, Heather.

[tacosandtomcos]

This is in Refrence to your blood moon theory. PT. 1 Ok. I respect your opinion and this theory but let me give a Counter argument. Marco as the sun is implied through his original name, sol, his position in the prophecy room by the sun, and the green part of his wand is an actual symbol for the sun. Cause remember. Star has heart cheeks and a star wand, her position in the room is a star and Marco has moon cheeks and a sun wand, his position in the room.

Part 2 of the blood moon theory counter. As well as yes tom did interrupt the dance so it’s completion may not be full and to add on he wasn’t under the moon with either of the two. He stood under by himself for about 4 seconds until the thing closed. Another rule for prophecy’s lol. “ your part of the prophecy can’t be thing thing that put you into the prophecy in the first place” so yeah there are some valid points here but there’s really not much putting tom into a position in the fire power.

Part 3 of blood moon theory This is just a request for you. If it’s not too much trouble can you please post all the parts of the counter argument and give your response. Thanks

Part 4- blood moon theory sorry in advance. Your putting a bit too much faith in including tom in the prophecy when in all honesty he has almost noting to really do with it. he could be counted as under it with Marco for ½ a second he definitely can’t be under it with star. Plus from a writing standpoint it would seem A bit dumb to take a prophecy that everything’s hinted for being for 2,being Marcos dream, where tom was not but moon was, and making it into 3 . If I was being nit picky sorry.

Ok, i need to go to sleep very soon, but let me brief you on your counter arguments real quick.

For one, i already did talk about the sol thing, and you have to remember that name was WAY back in the show’s production. Things change, ideas change, whether that was Marco’s original name or not it isn’t anymore. 

Star was originally gonna be six, and non-magic,  and Marco was gonna be her enemy and not friend. The show has gone through ALOT of changes in time, still is. Tom’s folks? Were clearly changed at some point in either season 2 or 3′s production, were clearly intended to be something different when the show started. Tom? Was gonna be a villain, but was also changed later in production. Sol might have been marco’s name at some point but that really doesn’t mean a lot when that’s not what they went with in the end. The show has changed a lot from those older ideas and considering all the ideas they threw out Marco’s old name really doesn’t mean as much as it used to since it was from an older draft.

Next, let me get this out of the way:

This is not a sun. This looks absolutely nothing like a sun, at all. And if it’s supposed to be a sun well then it’s WAY off mark.

If you knew nothing about the star, moon, and sun imagery, and you saw this wand. Would a sun ever come to mind?

Star’s wand, looks like a star, in shape and in color. while Marco instead has a prickly green style that is much more reminiscent of monsters or plants then a sun. Star’s gemstone on her wand, is a star. Marco instead gets a purple diamond in the center which just adds on to how little this looks like a sun. Shouldn’t he have like….a sun gem in here? Or maybe his wand is colored more warmly to seem more like a sun?

Like, the only real link Marco has to that sun symbol ((Which looks nothing like the wand btw)) was him just walking towards it. And really, that’s not much to go on, and could feel like you were being thrown off since the Moon was also in that direction.

maybe if it changed or was reborn like Star’s wand? But even then Star’s wands all are very much the same except for slight feature and color changes. The basic shape and features are still the same and only have  minor changes for the most part to them. Lobster Claw’s too, both his wands, while one being more evil the the other, were still the same in form, just different in smaller details. If Marco’s wand becomes orange or yellow and maybe gets more spikes along the outside maybe i might see it more? But as far as this goes, he has a wand that looks nothing like a sun or even close to the sun symbol he walked towards.

Star’s wand at least LOOKED like her symbol.

Yeah, but you’re forgetting what the demon who announced the ball said. You don’t have to dance under it, you just have to be UNDER it. Dancing is not a requirement to be bonded. And it’s hard to say it’s not a little bit fishy when the moon chooses to stop following Star and Marco both, to focus on Tom for some reason.

Tom busts his way in, and instead of just disbanding or following Star or Marco, the Moon chooses to just….Sit on Tom for a few seconds before leaving. Why? If this darn thing has a mind of it’s own then really it should’ve stopped before Tom ever showed up, but when it shows up it solely focuses on him?! 

And if it has magic powers, then Tom bursting in should’ve done something. Tom walks under a magical ray and nothing just happens?!

We know so little about this stupid moon that at this point i wouldn’t be surprised if whoever just ends up under the light ends up bonded regardless. It’s not exactly like we have much to say otherwise, cause it’s equally possible the moon and how it works has been misinterpreted a lot considering how old it is.

You seem to be under the impression i believe it’s canon, which isn’t true. I tend not to ever call something canon unless…it’s actually proven canon, i’d be setting myself up for disappointment in that case. This is just a passionate theory i would LIKE to see canon since it actually could really work as a plot twist.

No, Tom has much to do with this. The blood moon is apart of HIS culture, HE was the reason Star and Marco went to this party, this moon is on his ballroom, it’s on top of his castle, it’s HIS dance, and there’s also the fact that demons are in the prophecy room.

like there’s no denying it, these are demons, with the spaded tails and everything. There’s some weird demonic link to this moon and i wonder what it is.

Yeah but the prophecy has not really been hinted for two. Heck, it’s never talked about on the actual show, you just get an idea of it in this one scene and …that’s about it. and with my idea, the moon is actually a THIRD symbol, which pretty much is straightforward from there. It’s not exactly like there’s this huge focus or buildup on it, we don’t even know what it is? Is anyone really gonna be disappointed that a prophecy we know nothing about was for three people and not two?

It might mean nothing, but Tom does seem to have some kinda of odd connection to Star and Marco other characters don’t. Might be the way he’s written with them, but it is unique how he’s used in comparison to characters like ponyhead or janna.

Yeah, but once again, that was a dream. And that only brings up my point of marco’s connection to the moon. Star is bonded, we know that for sure, but she don’t get no moon dreams, or moons showing up to stalk her, or nearly as many odd experiences with it as Marco has.

You can believe what you want in the end, but i find this prophecy too fishy to be so clear cut and dry. So many little details just do not add up and i’m curious if the show is subverting another cliche and trying to fool the audience in the meantime. 

[xiaolongpunch]

Rwby’s redemption

I’ve started watching rwby ever since the summer that volume 2 was released. My friends made me watch the four trailers and I was immediately captivated by the breath of fresh air the show promise from its beginning. Four badass girls with unique weapons and abilities? I was already hooked from that point. I binge watch volume after that day, and I immediately got harry potter vibe with the school aspect of the show. I also understood from the get go the the 8 characters we were introduced to in the beginning would be the main cast, that being team RWBY and team JNPR.

This is where my first critique comes in, and it won’t be directed at rooster teeth or miles-kerry or even monty, but rather at the fandom. Volume 1 wasn't shy at showing us who the important characters were, how? The were coloured in and we got to know their names in the first few episodes. The rest was either shadowed in, appeared a couple of times, or simply never be seen again. We knew the main cast was the two teams, and other subsequent characters were more side characters, exemple: Cardin and team CRDL, Velvet, Ozpin, Glynda, Roman, and the other professors and Sun. And one of the major complaints that volume 1 gets is that it was focused on Jaune to much. Statistically speaking, his arc lasted 25% of volume 1, lasting from episode 11 to 14. Other arcs from this volume included Blake’s, Weiss’s conflict with Ruby and probably other minor ones I won’t speak about. Blake’s arc lasted from episode 15 to 16, buut continued into the subsequent volume. Making for 12.5% of the first volume, and about, well the entire volume. Volume 2 was dedicated into busting the white fang and Roman, which directly tied into Blake’s arc from Volume 1, making it the longest arc up to this date since it is still continuing into volume 5. The third arc was the conflict between Ruby and Weiss, although somewhat minor, this arc still lasted for a couple of episodes spread apart from one another. The point being, Jaune’s arc is minor compared to other arcs happening in the show, since his only lasted 4 episodes in volume 1 alone. Sure he had speaking times in other volumes, but none revolved around him, and yet the fandom is still bitching and moaning that jaune is taking too much space. As mentioned before, Jaune IS one of the main 8, not liking him as a character is totally fine, but saying he is taking too much space is somewhat overreacting since he is one of the main characters.

Let’s go on, from V1 came V2, and to this date, it is probably one of my least favourite volumes. I feel like they focused a bit too much on the characters motivation during the mountain glenn arc. What was the point of Oobleck asking everyone why they wanted to be huntresses? It was a bit awkward and I feel like they could've gotten the same result, if not more,  if they made the team sit down around a campfire and make them ask each other their motivation. They would’ve shared some exposition through, shown team rwby bonding, something the fandom has been asking for a while now (Something I will touch later on) aaand they would’ve been able to touch a lot more on Blake’s ongoing arc that way. Btw, this is how critiquing something is done, by talking about what felt wrong and give an example on how they could of improved themselves. I’ve seen way to many people complain and complain and never even explain how they could've improve on what they complained on, and then call what they did ‘critiquing’, but im digressing. Overall, they did what they wanted, expose us to more backstory and motivation, show us a bit more of who the characters are by telling us where they come from. This volume honestly showed me why Ruby is more childish in nature, and it also help set up what they wanted for her next volume. It showed me why Weiss is so cold and distant sometimes, it showed us why Blake acts the way she does..you get the point. It also helped setting up the next volume, which was a real plus.

Next comes V3, and I feel like, like the show, this was where the fandom started to really fall and divide. A reason why people started to become more toxic might have been because of Monty’s death. People started to think that because he died, Miles and Kerry started to ruin the show from his original idea. Especially after a controversial letter came out, you can read it here if you’d like. From that point, it was a shitstorm of fighting, between people who believed shane and people who didn’t. I have read the letter, and personally, I feel like they were some things right and some wrong. Shane seemed to have this idea that Monty was the only one planning the show, but it was with Miles and Kerry, Monty provided the ideas, MK wrote them out. Gray even addressed what the future of RWBY would be, and he mentioned this.

“For those wondering, Monty was heavily involved in shaping the future of the world of Remnant. His story ideas will live on, and you will also be able to see some of the animation he'd begun working on for Volume 3. For some time, the team has known the direction in which the next volumes will be headed, and Rooster Teeth is committed to bringing these tales to you.”

Like I said, you decide if you want to believe shane or not, but I think its clear that Monty planned his show with MK years ahead. And some of the ‘Critiques’ the show got addressed the wrong issues. That volume also sparked the lgbtq representaion controversy, ship wars begun, like I said, a shitshow began. It was also the volume that rwby turned dark and characters died off. And for some reason people got angry at MK for killing them off, because they thought it wasn't Monty’s idea. Except it was, and here is some other complaint. Roman was a major villain, you can't kill him! Actually he was said to be unimportant to the main story plot, and unfortunately I can't find the panel, but I remember that someone in the crwby mentioned that roman was kept alive longer than intended because he was like, but was eventually going to get killed off. Next was Penny’s death, not much complain on that side other then people saying they were sad she died, so nothing to say on that part. But the major character death that got lots of complaint was Pyrrha’s. People had two complaint about, it went too far, and that she was only meant to further Jaune’s character.

To address the first point, I will actually let Gray explain.

“Have we said thanks lately? Thanks again for sharing the story with our youngest audience members out there, it means a lot to us and we take the responsibility to heart. In return, we wanted to take a sec to reiterate some things. We've said from the very beginning that the story of RWBY is actually a pretty long journey, with all sorts of complex changes and themes over time. Because we can only put out so many episodes per year, and the story has been focused the way it has the first couple years, some viewers might assume that this is all there is to the show. Nnnnope. Much like other multi-year narratives such as the Harry Potters, Avatars (the airbending kind. well, the animated, not the live... look, the good one) and Star Wars...Warses... Warii? Forget it -- like other continuity-heavy sagas out there, RWBY will grow up over time. Our characters will be put to the test as the stakes get greater and the full scope of the story is revealed. The tone and imagery of the show will occasionally go darker and more mature. ...You did happen to notice the opening sequence that has been in front of the show all year, right?”

This comes from a blog post surrounding how dark rwby has turned. And I want to emphasize one particular point, because this will counter EVERY complaint on how the show is progressing in terms of change. RWBY was never meant to stay light hearted and happy, it was meant to grow and change, just like many other series out there, and the fact that people complain about it, is in my opinion, kinda ridiculous. When V3 came out, I understood this because it was new, but now? Really? You want change and character development, but complain once the plot thickens and the nature of the show changes? What kind of hypocritical shit is that? I also believe that Monty said that he got inspired by Games of Thrones in some aspect, and that was early on in the show, so death was going to be a thing, I guess the fandom just wants to ignore that though.

The second point is actually a bit more founded. But because of two sides. MK poorly handled team bonding, we barely got any bonding from any teams so we didnt know what they meant to each other other then a few things here and there. And the second side is the fandom’s collective hatred towards Jaune. The fandom complains that Pyrrha’s death was solely to further Jaune’s character, so im guessing they totally ignored her arc in v3 that actually explained why she decided to fight Cinder or why she died, or just simply decided to ignore, knowing the fandom, I wouldn’t be surprised with either reason. The fandom sometimes forgets to piece things together, to read between the lines. It was clear that Pyrrha had an internal conflict about becoming the maiden, and Jaune, being her combat partner, decided he wanted to be there for her, which only fueled the fandom’s belief that this arc was somehow around Jaune. I feel like fandom is honestly just pulling reasons out of their ass to hate on Jaune at this point, yes he did wrong things, but did anyone ever sat down to think that this was actually kinda the most natural portrayal of a teenage boy? Im digressing here, but Pyrrha’s was far more then Jaune, it was a sign, the show basically told us “Hey, things are getting serious, how serious? Welp a main character died trying to accomplish her goal” And her death couldnt of been more brilliant. It was extremely well executed, the symbolism behind it is incredible because it shows that the show isnt a fairy tail, not everything ends happily ever after, and most of all, it furthered Ruby’s character.

A lot of people dont realize that one of the premise of the show was loss of childhood and innocence. Ruby’s character is the very essence of that. And they broke her to pieces in V3, they killed her best friend, and then a close friend. She unlocked her powers and loss her innocence she had for the world. She grew so much as a character it that volume and its sad to see people not looking further then their noses to see how much has been happening in the show to focus on jaune and other minor things like ships.

To go back on Jaune’s portrayal, he is literally a fuckboi in v1/v2 and a bit of v3. Like, thats what his character is, you can hate it, hell I did, but screaming and shouting that his character needs to change because of that is fucking ridiculous, not everyone is meant to be liked, sometimes best portrayals are the ones that actually make you feel something strong about them, and the typical mary sue.

Lets move on, V4 in my opinion was the most poorly handled volume, for many things.They took to long to show how certain character grief and they didnt handle character development extremely well. Nora and Ren’s arc was...short, too short. I felt like they could of really digged into their childhood and their relationship since they grew up together, but they missed out on it. They tanked to show Ruby’s grief, or as the fandom would say, complete lack of. And the plot exposition from Qrow was too fast and really poorly handled in terms of delivery. I feel like they could’ve taken more time to explain some things like magic and the maidens, because the way it was delivered was more like it was speaking to the audience. The filled in gaps on what the audience didn’t know rather then explaining to the character what the hell was going on in their lives.

And I have a major problem with how the fandom ‘critiqued’ this volume. Again, the major complaints were not story, or plot related, they decided to complain on ships and portrayal, which btw is a valid thing if there is an actual problem. For exemple, they non-stopped complained on how Ruby seemingly didnt show any grief, but let me explain to you. People are different, whereas one person might cry their hearts out to someones death, another will feel sad for a bit and move on. We saw Ruby react to Pyrrha’s death, she unlocked her powers because of it. And there is many reason why she might have been shown grieving. Think about how much shit she went through, she saw her school get destroyed, three people she knew died in front of her in one night, she unlocked some weird magical power which she knows nothing about, her sister seems to hate life now, and her friends are mostly gone. Do you seriously think her mind has the time and effort to grief about ONE person dying? No, nobody would in fact, she probably is still in shock of everything that happened. Another reason, which was actually proven in V5, is that she doesn’t grief, she moves on. And they also foreshadowed it a bit, but I will talk about it in the V5 review of this.

The next thing people complained about was black sun, and how ooc blake felt during those moments. Again, I want to remind you that character development is a thing, and traumatic events may several affect someone’s view in life. The reason why Blake seemed ooc is because of her fears becoming a reality. Her friends got hurt because of Adam, she became paranoid, to the point of almost drawing out her sword to the captain when she was confronted. Sun on the other hand didnt experience all of that, and he thought he was doing the right thing by following her because he wanted to help her. And I saw sooooo many people saw he is a predator because she flinches when he touches her, but also completely forgets or ignore she acted the same way when her own mother hugged her. She is scared shitless of everything, this was probably one of the better handled character development in the volume, and the fandom seemingly ignored all of it to let their hatred go through.

The most blatant problem with V4 however was the animation, and I will let the youtuber Cake in his series “Animation analysis”. He really nails the head of what is wrong with the animation, and I highly recommend you watch this small serie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxP3lBW7wm4&list=PL-wKaeXzYOmbnc0cRXxGD0TEY5wgCUipw

I wont speak about Yang, because honestly, this was the one time the fandom is right, her ptsd arc was poorly handled and not well executed at all.

Then came V5, or as I like to call it, Rooster teeth’s redemption arc. This volume, imo, was so heavily touched upon to appease the angry mobs of the rwde tags its honestly kind of funny. Ship wars? Heres more character development surrounding all the characters involved in those ship and their view about each other. Poor character development? Heres ruby actual griefing and explaining how she moved and sooo much more character for the main cast. LGBT representation? Here's the first confirmed lgbt character! They did so many things right and so many things to fix past problems, and yet, the rwde tag is still greedy…

Volume 5 has done a lot of things right, and a lot of those things were things the fandom was asking since the beginning of the show. I believe it was partially RT testing out that if listening to us would actually change anything, and Im afraid the rwde side of this fandom is proving to them that nothing that they will do will change anything, and thats saying something about the rwde tag and the fandom in general.

Lets hit a few things that happened that rt did right. First being, Ruby’s grief. In V4, most of the fandom outcried for Ruby to show how she grieves the death of Pyrrha and Penny, and we got it. And just like I had thought, she moves on. The writers pulled our heart strings by using Monty’s signature quote “Keep moving forward”. This probably wasn't a last minute decision, since we did get a hint of it when Qrow mentioned the same thing to Yang in V3. And we all know how close Ruby is to Qrow, and he probably taught her to move on rather the grief when death hits someone close to you. The fandom, of course, was blind to all of it, and it dishearten me to see that. Because the fandom keeps asking for better writing, and when the are shown that MK can foreshadow things and give hints of two people’s relationship and that the fandom ignores it, it shows that they dont really care, and are probably finding reasons to hate rather then actually seeing their wishes come true.

Yang’s ptsd. V4 poorly handled this, they showed some sign of her illness but it was rushed and it felt unnatural. But rt did try to change this in V5. The random jerks of her hand and arm is a genius idea, it shows that she still suffers from her trauma even though she is trying to be strong for her own sake. This might be hinting at an actual ptsd episode later on when she fights. This is one thing rt did right and are showing they are listening.

First Lgbt character. Spoiler warning, if you havent watched V5EP8 then skip to the next point to not spoil yourself. So in the latest episode, Ilia was revealed to be first lgbt character, she is a lesbian/Bisexual character who is in love with Blake. And not surprisingly, the fandom find reasons to hate this decision rather than rejoice that rt is actually listening to them. This next part is a message straight for anyone who is criticizing ilia as the “villain lesbian” and say its problematic. Do you understand how hypocrite you are? You headcanon characters like Cinder, Salem, and Neo as lgbt, people who are actually show to be pure evil but hate and try to villainize the only villain who’s reason to be villain is due to her past? We have been shown why she chose this path, we have been shown why she sides with Adam at this moment. It hurts her to do so, we could see it when she ordered to kill Blake’s family, we have seen how conflicted she was to have captured Blake for adam, the only character who’s villainy is actual ambiguous and actually is a complex character because of it and you downgrade her to a “Bitter/Jealous murderous lesbian”? FUCK OUTTA HERE, that is completely hypocritical of everything you ever said, she is everything you ever wanted in a character and you still manage to be angry at rt for it?! Do you even hear yourselves sometimes? You wanna complain about something that is lgbt related? How about the lack of it, we have one, they have shown us they are listening so keep on insisting on that representation. You want to complain how the lack of complex character? Criticize MK for the lack of backstory for a lot of the main character, and a lack of personality shown. You want to complain about villains? HOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL BITTER AND MURDEROUS ONE ADAM FUCKING TAURUS. Stop being so blind jfc, there is so many other obvious things wrong about the points you are complaining about and yet you chose to bash Ilia, fucking incredible.

Rwby has a lot of issue, im not denying that, but its time for the fandom to stop complaining about ships and minor problems that have been fixed. Start critiquing instead of complaining and demanding. RT wont listen to you if you only demand things from them, start showing them explicitly what is wrong with the show and offer them solutions in a calm manner. Showing no evidence and not showing solutions is not critiquing on your part, its pure and simple entitlement. My final point is this. We dont own the show, some of us pay for a subscription, but that doesn't make them any more entitled to demand things from rt about their show. You can absolutely critique them for errors, but do it right. Show them what went wrong, explain why its wrong, and show and explain a possible solution. Complaining and whining isnt critiquing, its entitlement of something we dont own. Im probably missing some things I have thought of pointing out in this, and this is highly opinionated in some parts. But I hope my points do make some sense, and I hope anyone who reads this actual give a thought about the points I made. If you disagree with me, by all means, point out what was wrong with what I said and offer your counter-argument, like I said, some of it is facts and some of it is opinions, so let’s debate.

[curious-minx]

Heat Lamp vol. 2 - Age Defying Light

(Photo taken from the Tumblr page: CLASSIC HOLLYWOOD GLAM)

Margaret makes a killing at her recent photo shoot. NRA Artistic Director, Derrick Fistual is rubbing his gun powder scented and arsenal oiled palms together, he’s basking in the pleasure of a newfound revelation: Give a woman a gun and they sell themselves. Margaret tries making a joke about penis envy when she first wrapped her manicured and digital gloss-ready porcelain hands around the butt of the rifle. Derrick tries shushing her at the very mention of the phallic, but then she points the rifle directly at Derrick and he falls backward into his holster shaped director’s chair. 

“You really thought you could use a pretty lady to push your craven gun industry onto the rest of this gullible nation of baby faced killers?!” Margaret demands trying to tamper down the height of her question so that no one can accuse of her sounding hysterical. One more mental braid and twist straining against her toll. That and the heat of this “Margaret’s” wig. 

Derrick picks chips and dip out of his finely bleached chompers, he grabs hold of  Margaret’s gun and squeezes Margaret’s trigger finger. The gun clicks and fires a blank. Derrick winces and opens up the sound stage’s blinds and starts yelling,

“She’s trying to kill me! This raving bitch is trying to kill me! Come on pull the trigger! You think you’re so bad! So tough!”

Margaret/Antonia, The Daycrawler lifts up her rifle and begins twirling it around and round until it becomes one continuous, complete blur reflecting back at the NRA artistic director. Antonia, The Daycrawler times her next move to her internal martial rhythm and knocks Derrick onto the fake linoleum tiled stage floor with a flurry of her flat and viciously slippered feet. Antonia is standing above Derrick, pinning him down with her well calculated lower body muscle coordination. A life lived being the heel. Striking back! 

Antonia fires the rifle directly into Derrick, the Artistic NRA Director’s ,  quavering O-Shaped gaping expression. The expression of a Death Peddler. The rifle fires, not a bullet, but a flash of light that fills up Derrick’s skull and bright shining white lights bursts forth out of every opening in his head. The light subsides and other than the faint smell of burning flesh Anton looks more or less unharmed. Smoke is pouring out of his scalp. Antonia drops the gun and saunters back behind the screen of  the NRA film shoot costume cabinet. 

She steps out as a red headed Communist influencer gal with an eye patch. She steps out a collagen infused Valkyrie of Beverly Hills. She steps out as a Pilgrim woman and wraps a lace and frill trimmed bonnet around her red wig. In the pile of  her former night gown she picks up a vial of Monique’s Aura Cleanser Spritz and a Pixie Stick that promised to infuse the air around you with dayglo pink beach sands. 

The NRA President, Carolyn D. Meadows, walks onto the sound stage set. Anton is still lying on the floor and the smoke has drifted up and away into an air vent. Meadows immediately assess the scene and pulls out her favorite pug nosed revolver and fires a ripping bullet straight into Antonia, The Pilgrim piercing her bodice. The bullet ricochets and flies right back into Mrs. Meadows face. Her face should have been torn to smithereens, and in a way it had, but the Monique perfumed air censored out her gore. American bloodlust will not be satiated. 

Antonia takes a brisk step over to the turkey cages of well mannered and quiet turkeys hoping and praying that the pink fleshy monsters would go ahead and kill each other. Revenge is a dish best served without turkey. Antonia releases all of the turkeys being prepped for the annual NRA Blood Feast. The liberated turkeys cluck in approval and hop onto Antonia, The Daycrawling Pilgrim’s extended arms. They all start flapping gusts of wind with their winds, lifting her up into the air. Antonia fires the gun once more, this time with an actual bullet, a bullet made of exploding steel that creates an exit for Antonia and the turkeys. Floating up and away with her turkey brigade, Antonia snaps her rifle in half and throws it back down onto the shrinking remains of the NRA headquarters. 

////

Antonia finishes her recital of Daycralwer fan fiction that she had comprised for herself in lieu of actually taking matters onto her own hands. Antonia and Magda Marlene, the Lady Light Tower herself, are luxuriating on two lumbar supporting poolhouse recliners taking the occasional drag of Pixie Stix and enjoying the vastness of Monique’s desert plateau property. 

Magda places the butt of her burnt out Pixie Stix into the antelope skull ash try and then looks Antonia over and asks,“Do you really think Monique’s manufactured scents are that powerful? Sporting a potency capable of altering r a person’s cognitive perception, changing certain specific aspect of the ways an individual perceived reality? I’d be awfully scared of a woman spritzing such power.” Magda is trying not to be overly critical and call  out Antonia’s adolescent tale for what is is: puerile adolescent fantasy. Reducing Magda and Monique as nothing more than the patron radioactive spiders biting her solid, Nordic Scandinavian Amazon Warrior charms! Magda rolls her eyes and it causes the sky to cycle through night and day. 

“I know you’re going to say that this is superhero sensationalism, but I think I am the perfect canvas for you and Monique to use your powers on. Don’t you think so Monique?” Antonia asks Monique who has now made her eleven presence known the two chatting women enjoying the arid expanse of Monique’s property. Monique is heavily robed, covered head to toe in a sealed and plastic shroud. A Red Milk Snake pattern design running through the rest of her black and secretive ensemble. 

“Antonia, I have no powers. I am a scientist, we’re the most powerless lot you’ve ever met. You really want to make the world a better place? Then may I suggest that you keep on keeping on as my number one test subject. Hun, as long as you keep showing up and crawling through the day or whatever it is you do we’re golden.” Monique then runs a multilayered glove hand down one of her braids, one of her ornamental beads catching a glare in the sunlight. Monique after a moment of quiet sneers, “Seriously, The Daycrawler? Really the best you could call yourself? Note to self: Antonia needs a rebranding. And don’t you think I didn’t hear how much you believe in me, Magda.  I could easily create a scent capable of hijacking the brain into censoring violent imagery and don’t you forget it. Now could both of you be a couple of dears and quietly fuck off my property. If only I had a swamp instead of this arid rollicking plateau of dust and brush robbing me of the occasion to yell, ‘get off my swamp’! I simply can’t concentrate knowing that the two of yous are out here brooding, swapping stories, and murder fantasies about taking down the NRA like a couple of gal pals. As far as I’m concerned you’re trying to alienate my clientele and that’s pretty lousy Antonia. Don’t alienate the clientele.”Monique exhales a long sigh and her cheeks are burning bright red. Monique underneath her scarfs and additional PPE is typically making wild and erratic facial expressions that no one can see, and she then gives he two interlopers one more shooing away gesture, and begins walking back inside. Monique stops, turns around, and walks back up to the still static Magda and Antonia.

“And I also remember that we have a contract! Magda can’t share her light with anyone except for me!” Monique then pats herself down searching for some kind of paper proof, cannot find any and then shoves her hands back into her pockets. “On second thought maybe that contract doesn’t exist! Anyway I don’t think she will ever share her light with you. Ultimately Antonia I’d leave her alone. She’s more dangerous than you’ve been in your wildest assassinations. Ciao!”

Magda and Antonia are both standing over their shaded lawn chairs and start parting ways. Magda thinking about how she is potentially a dangerous ticking warhead of Energy and Light, and Antonia feeling emotionally bruised and yearning for a more active plot. How could she, a former assassin, be casted into this life as a layabout science experiment? Despite walking off into opposite directions from Monique’s compound property they still manage to meet back up onto the public street obscuring Monique’s private street entrance. 

“I am sorry. I know I should have been more grateful about that other  assassin you had kidnapped for me. Soy Hands, that’s her name right? She’s a real steal and could have used those slippery mits of hers to wrangle up all sorts of missing persons. Probably gotten really super helpful intel. But Antonia this is my personal affair and I would prefer if you would stay out of it , and  in return, I will grace you with your privacy. Fair! Now that I got that shitty business out of the way, why don’t we head off to Marietta, Georgia? Let’s go nab us an NRA President!” Magda squints and feigns a smile towards Antonia casting her in the most flattering light from the sodium streetlamp.

“No, the NRA headquarters is in Fairfax Virginia. That’s more or less where I was imagining we’d infiltrate.” Antonia says with a wistful glint in her eye. 

“Oh wait! I forgot I have to go help out at my siblings Light shop. Do you think this wholesome assassination plot can wait? I’ve been dodging those two for over a year and half now and because of this pandemic I finally broke down and am going to help them today.”

“That’s great. You can go ahead and forget about all of that. I know that killing someone objectively bad won’t make me feel any better. The act of killing is rarely the day at the spa you’d hope it to be. Not that you’d understand.”Antonia lifts her entire and herself against the streetlamp bending it so the light no longer focused on her. 

“No, I really do understand. I may not have killed anyone because I meant to, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t killed someone by accident. Okay I didn’t kill anyone, but I did accidentally blind this guy I dated  and may have ruined his dreams of becoming the next Fellini…” Magda looks away, embarrassed for even trying to open up in front of such a cold and ruthless killer. Antonia reaches out and puts her hand on Magda’s shoulder. 

“That’s okay! I don’t want to hear about it! We’re cool. We’re apparently both enjoying the same Sugar Mother relationship with Monique right now, but we’re also going on pathways to friendship. I’d love to keep busting this friendship business  wide open, but I’ve got to get back to my live parkour stream. Basically I’m the hottest sticky hand gymnast in the nation!” Antonia releases her hand from Magda’s shoulder, leaving behind a faintly thin treacly trail of some mysterious sweat. Antonia, The Daycralwer is already halfway through ascending the thirty story residential apartment complex.  Magda thinks about attaching a bulb of light to the bottom of Antonia’s shoes as a friendly light up gesture, but realizes the opportunity to do so has long since past. Magda finally reaches her space craft almost two miles away from Monique’s laboratory compound. Parking is a space craft in this city is always a bitch, oh well, time for Magda to return home to help her brother and sister.

/////

Gidget and Chester’s Light Factory

Starring right at Magda is a lamp that looks exactly like Hillary. Magda’s Hillary. Bulbs of light for each button on her power suit. Magda had not told anyone about her hidden Lady Crush/Obsession Hillary. Magda grits her teeth and the boxes of unlit bulbs begin glowing and whistling in response to Magda’s anger. The generous skylight is turning a burning shade of chocolate cosmo reflecting back at Magda’s fury. 

“Maga chud!” Gidget and Chester squeal in unison. Gidget, Magda’s taller and much dimmer sister chirps up, “So happy you could finally grace us with your presence. Chester and I were just about to run through the speech explaining why it’s okay that Magda broke her promise as always and didn’t show up.”

“What sort of sick game are you two playing at? Why don’t you get your own lives and stop mucking around in mine! Don’t think I haven’t felt you two messing around my head whenever I’m asleep or getting whatever pale facsimile of sleep this body allows me. Why did you two make a lamp out of my crush? What did you two possibly hope to gain from doing this?” Magda stops herself from shaking with anger because it’s causing the overhead workshop lights to flicker and strobe giving Magda a lurking headache. Magda looks around the crates of light bulbs, freight carts sporting various Lampshades and jungle of wires and snatches up a clean linen sheet and drapes it over the Hillary lamp like the shameful Delorean it is! 

“This was going to be your Xmas present! Sister Magma don’t be ungrateful. Chester and I made sure to study your most erotic dreams! We’re your siblings we would never judge you for your tastes! We think the fact that you’re attracted to all sorts of types pretty fascinating. Especially Chester!”

“Yeah sis! I can’t get it up for anybody. And it’s not for lack of trying!” Chester adjusts his shaved pyramid shaped hairdo back into place and cracks his fingerless gloved knuckles before lifting up the Hillary lamp and placing it on a dolly. Chester removes it from the room while Gidget pulls the brim of her sailor cap covering her eyes. 

“Maybe whenever I open this gift I’ll like it more? I guess Overall, your manner of presentation is too overwhelming for the likes of me. I haven’t actually seen Hillary in person yet…”

“Yeah, we know!” Chester calls out as he deposits the Hillary lamp back into her lamp locker. Chester then crosses to the opposite side of the workshop and starts sauntering the bending lobes of a brain shaped electric chandelier. Chester accidentally singes one his fingers but instead of crying out in pain he spits onto the ground and shakes the sensation away. Gidget scowls at Magda and goes back to testing the conductivity of connector, placing different plug blades onto her blue and barely pink tongue. A spark flies off in her mouth and then Gidget writes down a number or some kind of code into her ledger. 

Magda takes a seat on a stool and waits for any further instruction. A minute goes by and it becomes clear to Magda that Gidget and Chester have already completely forgotten about her. Magda clears her throat and the brain model  lights up and Chester stares into blinding mass of a lit up frontal lobe without any form of eye protection. Chester stares directly into the lights unblinking, only a silver rolling wet tear pooling in the pockets of his cratered cheek. The brainy chandelier goes back out and Magda crosses her legs, causing an entire rack of anglepoise lamps to swerve their joints around and wink lights at her. 

“Can you not with the light show for five fucking minutes?” Gnashes Gidget, who has switched over to the shaping of loose lamp rods. Gidget pulls out a vibrantly pickle green THC enriched lollipop from her apron pocket and begins sucking on the green relief orb with all of her might. Gidget and Chester only increase in concentration in response to Magda’s agitation. 

The double leaden French doors of the Gidget and Chester’s workshop feebly creak open and an infant’s small and chubby hand is struggling with pulling the doors fully back. Another hand reaches joins the other, a varicose and grey hairy knuckled hand. Magda stands up from her raven clawed stool and is immediately joined by Gidget and Chester unabashedly cowering and using Magda as a human light-up shield. Gidget and Chester are both muttering something that sounds like an ancient Latin prayer to themselves and Chester is doing that thing with his lower jaw that Magda finds abhorrent. 

“Oh, hi! Elroy” Magda attempts in her best Tommy Wisseau to break the ice with this fully transmogrified and physically disorienting version of Elroy hobbling towards her. Clanking and clattering behind the Elroy abomination is a seven foot tall torchiere lamp still wrapped in its original bubble wrap. 

“Duh lamp! Ugh dee LAMP!” Slobbers and groans the man with the roof a mouth of someone starting to teeth and the rest of his mouth decaying with age. Gidget and Chester dart out from behind Magda in separate directions and throw another layabout workshop sheet over the haphazard human quilt of ancient and newborn flesh. Elroy continues moaning on about a lamp and thrashes around unable to free himself from the diabolical sheet covering.

“What are you two doing? He needs light! The right kind of light!” Magda lifts Elroy into her arms, he feels as heavy as a cracked egg in Magda’s sinewy arms. She nods over to the garage door leading to the outside loading dock. Magda arranges the cloth covering Elroy so that both sides of his sallow and nubile flesh are exposed directly into sunlight. Magda uses her free hand to start gathering up a particular singled out ray of sunlight and works the light like it is clay on a wheel. Magda stretches her band of sunlight until it is the entire length of Elroy’s compact frame. Magda rolls Elroy up into the sunlight like he is hummus on a collard leaf or a butterfly testing out a new cocoon. Magda looks over her shoulder and sees Gidget and Chester both watching her with crossed arms and snarls, diligently recording her “miracles” like they have always done. 

The cocoon of light pulsates and dims and repeats this cycle for several interminable moments. Elroy unfurls himself from his sleeping bag of daylight and continues free rolling. He rolls himself a distance away from Magda and is quietly laughing face down onto Magda’s family’s patchy lawn. Elroy snaps back up and runs around in circles around Magda clicking his heels and bouncing around her like a too exuberant pogo or haughty kangaroo. 

“Are we finished? We’re good right? You’re not going to sue anyone for this faulty product, right?” Magda asks Elroy but is making eye contact with her siblings who are growing increasingly pale and despondent.

“No, of course not! I should have just starved myself and bathed in stem cells and not have cheated with this..questionable technology. That’s why you have to let me just borrow your light. I bought this pendant with a vial charm on it. It’s only a few drops of your luminosity! Then I will be happy to forget about all of this mishap with your siblings faulty and definitely cursed lamp.” Elroy bites his bottom lip after he finishes talking knowing that he has just taken a huge bite out of risk. 

“Get out! There’s nothing faulty about a Magdalene lamp! I’ll-I’ll…”

“Do what?” Challenges Elroy who is trying to straighten out his spine despite still feeling rubbery all over, he swallows and bobs his knotted Adam’s Apple, “Are you going to kill me? Fry me? Zap me? Because we all know how capable you are miss Magda! Maybe too capable for your own good?” Elroy continues waving around his newfound confidence in Magda’s face. Magda pushes him aside, an action that results in an ornamental lawn light to splash a harsh noxious red light directly into Elroy’s eyes causing him to double over. Magda rushes herself over into her space craft that hovers for a moment emitting a high E sharp synthetic tone before launching itself and Magda as fast and as far away from her home, away from these vain people and their constant demands, away from meddling scientists and the Family Businesses and Energy Baron politics. 

Back down at Chester and Gidget’s workshop Elroy is clutching his Ponce de Leon Torchiere and tearing up a receipt. Gidget and Chester shrug and make no effort to stop him. 

“Should we bother telling him that he’s broken his dimmer switch?” Gidget asks Chester who have both returned back to their work benches. 

“Probably not. Should I tell you that that lamp we made of Hillary has gained sentience and is frantically making its way out into the world?” Chester gestures to the Lamp Hillary that has the empty panicked expression of a runaway android. Chester and Gidget shrug in unison once again and return to making a blacklight lamp that shows you all the sex you could be having. 

[juushika]

travel to first city > get out of habit of playing Zelda in sleep-deprived travel and recovery days > stall out > pick game back up same day we started playing Dark Souls III again and wow the games do not mesh > oh well > travel to other city again, can’t play Dark Souls while here > tl;dr finally beat The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

My liveblog from ~50% to the end: game events, Navi as mechanic, time travel???, so much metadata, Gerudo are the very best, cyclical narrative are fascinating and I wish I wanted to play the other games, etc.; it is very long!

me:  hello dark Link is in this one 1) this is the 1.5 things i was not really spoiled for (in context of Ocarina) 2) oh my god i have so much fanart of this scene what a well-done sequence! really subtle and eerie effects/use of reflection and clever combat and like not skillful combat at all “don’t lock on, try and sort of flail until you get around him then stab his butt wildly” but pretty and the fade-out is really effective! so much really good subtextual-to-the-point-of-not-existing narrative; fights with shadow selves are best trope?? i looked at that art again and! it v good! i remember finding this dynamic compelling even before familiar with canon in any way! but it’s not explored, just, “you could explore this yourself, if you want”

me: where is Link keep iron boots when not wear that they don’t effect his weight just curious

Missy: don’t ask they magic also it really amuses me that your biggest connection to OoT is “i have sexy pics of Link and dark Link”

me: what is the logic of traveling BACK to kid Link??? (there is no logic, i know, i know) “you picked up the sword and were too young for it so we incubated you until ready” implies that Kingdom Hearts-esque he grew up in the jar, time passed but he wasn’t there for it but then no! and he can go back! and i get it would be awful to put collectables/shortcuts and then be like ARBITRARY UNPREDICTABLE CUT-OFF POINT being able to pop back is polite; and having offered that, tying it into plot is clever but ……..how???? it work?

[future Juu: Spirit Temple is best dungeon b/c it makes the time travel mechanic part of the core gameplay, aka the dungeons; but the time travel still fails to make sense, here or there or in the ending. maybe I read too much into chrysalis imagery b/c of my KH background? but the original wording, “we put you in sacred realm until you growed up,” just conflicts hugely with everything else time travel does in this game]

Missy: in the room with the rolly boulders HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY GODDAMIT NAVI I GET WE NEED TO AVOID THE BOULDERS YOU DON’T HAVE TO YELL ABOUT THEM NONSTOP hey navi. you don’t like getting squished. i don’t like getting squished. HOW ABOUT YOU STOP SAYING HEY SO I DON’T JUST SQUISH YOU.

me: i am so 50/50 on why everyone found Navi so annoying i have this strong “it not her fault” feel “it the limit of her programing”

Missy: normally she fine but sometimes HEY HEY HEY  HEY

me: some of [the boy’s] retro game adventures in the time before waypoints are… interesting like it’s super immersive which is great more active exploration, less “mindlessly follow waypoint” but they forget that in the samey-textured-fucking-identical-rooms you just … can’t pathfind naturally i come away with this really strong sense of “oh that’s why we handhold” when actually! we could handhold less now that we can have unrecycled textures/assets and rooms that aren’t just boxes! but you still spend  the whole time (in retro games) wishing for a waypoint or a fucking HUD or anything in the world that tells you how go where [examples of retro games that fit this matrix: the original Thief series, the original Deus Ex] and i feel like Navi is that “in such a sprawling and potentially non-linear game, player needs an aid” Missy: esp when HEY WHERE DO I GO? HEY HEY LISTEN sorta useful me: yeah she's good for "how to begin next dungeon" stuff but for stuff like "what do these magic seeds do" "chickens????" she useless and then she breaks out the advice for "DID YOU KNOW BOULDER MAKE THE SQUISH" thanks navi, i had guessed

Missy: hehe yahh

me: there’s actually--and, let us still preserve my overall ehhhhhhhhh opinion of Undertale, but--there’s a great sort of hat-tip to that trope when helper NPC interrupts you while doing a puzzle so that you are forced to “fail” it (need to push three buttons; NPC: “I’ll help you with timing!!”; reminder re: timing forces you to fail timing lol) god aren’t vidya games cool they’re like 50% experience/feelings/narrative and 50% mechanics/game design it’s so interesting!!! i have feelings!!!! 

me: Bongo Bongo actually fav boss so far WITH savestates without, probably hell but with, save stating becomes another mechanic, another move to time, like saving after stunning second hand so i can make sure eye of truth + counter eye + dmg, and then reset to save state if i miss one of those steps which happens a lot pacing great with savestates, very tense without, probably just ragey

Missy: yes and yes

[future Juu: this became a consistent theme. I started using save states to avoid the constant walking back each time I returned to the game, but they universally made combat feel more strategic and dependent on my actions, and less flaily and dependent on ehhh controls]

me: hello yes the Gerudo are extremely interesting is very Amazons

Missy: yes except Ganondork

me: like in any single-sex society, even those created by feminists (Joanna Russ, Nicola Griffith) i want more interrogation of sex=gender, how gender binary works when part of the binary is super unrepresented, characters forgoing binary entirely, etc. esp. interesting here b/c they 1) do have very rare males 2) have contact with non-Gerudo men, so they’re exposed to a gender binary, but how does that impact their culture “occasionally a man and then he becomes king of everything” is super icky for obvious reasons but i wonder what the on-the-ground view of that is, like, they have their own leadership roles, 100 years is a long time to be periodically self-sustaining, does the average citizen even care is it a figurehead monarchy “they just wear the pretty crown and look important; meanwhile, we rule ourselves” system fucked up every cycle that Ganandorf shows up to be ~evil~

me: obviously they do enough breeding outside their race to sustain it, but their culture is actually pretty self-contained/even xenophobic, so how does culture sharing work, how does race work???? Gerudo have distinct skin tone, but are breeding with whiter people presumably a lot, what does mixed race look like??? or b/c ~magic~ is that not a thing, are the daughters all just Gerudo wiki says we unno if they have contact with bio fathers, is there any cultural sharing??? what does Gerudo family unit look like; j/k it’s a “a lesbian and her extended lesbian family”

Missy: Keep in mind Historically speaking *every* Gerudo male in known history is Ganondork Following every game And every timeline So the king of everything may not be so much icky political as Gerudo + triforce of power = Ganon king of Gerudo/evil = harbinger of end of world and Hyrule reset

me: so, Dark Souls-like, we’re sort of stuck in a timeline/event loop, looking at same sort of events in different times/iterations (maybe it’s a reverse Jesus, like, they had this prophecy indefinitely but it didn’t effect daily life, but when it’s realized via Ganon we begin a sort of cycle of the game series) Missy: Most interesting bits there are the Twilight Princess stuff Where the n64 Link is a shade waiting for end of world to pass on his knowledge before disappearing Because yeah--Ganon loop seems like public Gerudo knowledge But Link loop is less talked about. The hero of time is just the legend

me: i’m sort of mad that aesthetic/the plot is just hero’s journey/here have the same narrative 2023842 times makes me not want to play others while iterated narrative is such a great trope and does make me want to care

Missy: Zelda future is open world The narrative is apparently partially taking back seat So the future lore from Twilight Princess would be tasty for you (esp. since Hyrule is bigger and more history has been written) But then the open world of BotW is a different allure. You write your own story etc

me: but open world just so ……………tired the dumb shit one can do in BotW is interesting, i just i like, you know, a narrative or sense of purpose

me: i finish Ocarina i have questions so Zelda sends him back to original time, everyone happy in future, life beautiful, sages together & everyone seems to know what’s occurred or at least that evil gone now child Link shows up at temple, Navi is like bye bitch, child Link goes to see child Zelda does he tell her to not fuck up > Ganondorf doesn’t come to power in new alternate timeline???? b/c either she’s like, hey, i know you want to be an adult now, but time to be a child and live through the reign of terror until future you saves shit, OR they’re alternate timelining it and everything sages etc did won’t really exist, so why so long an epilogue focused on them either way the time travel still doesn’t make sense since all the sword does is pop Link in chrysalis until old enough to use it??????/ Missy: Ocarina -> timeline split the adult saved timeline is the one that leads to Wind Waker, i think tl;dr Link saves world and then goes poof oops

me: “Regardless, Ocarina of Time has always been one of the centerpoint games in the chronology, with the events at the end of the game, where Zelda sends Link back to his youth, splitting the timeline.” (source) okay okay that’s a thing

Missy: yeah so Twilight Princess is the other branch

me: Zelda: still fucking things up sorta gj Zelda she is the center of everything isn’t she, i guess, like, thus the title

Missy: yes she is Ganon-Link-Zelda triforce

me: “When the official timeline was revealed in Hyrule Historia, the placement of Ocarina of Time in the series was revealed to be of even greater value, as the events of the game actually split the series’s timeline into three branches.” (ibid.)

Missy: oh yeah third branch we fucked up branch as in you lose to Ganondork and then.. snes game?

me: god i love iterated narratives it really is a pity i don’t care about the worldbuilding (except lesbians obvs.) and also characters and also aesthetic and also hero’s journey and also gameplay “Link is sent back to his childhood, leaving this branch without a Hero, as told in the prologue to The Wind Waker. Ganondorf eventually overcomes the Sages’ seal and attempts to take over Hyrule, but with no Hero to face the evil,” GJ ZELDA JEEZE like tbf, Link telling Zelda > child timeline is also Link’s fault and Link failing to defeat Ganon > grimdark timeline is also him so he is central, triforce, etcetc but Zelda is actually interesting and Link is mostly fridge horror so, shrug that said, it some good fridge horror i propose alternate timeline for another fanfic i never gon’ write child Link almost warns Zelda, goes, wait, what about timeline shit, nvm, decides to just wait it out seven years of increasing darkness watching bad shit pile up actually seeing it from the ground instead of in summary, it worse than he thought, “i done fucked up”

Missy: do a triforce swap Ganon comes out with wisdom Zelda has power Link still courage

me: Ganon wisdom = grimest dark b/c he would be smart enough to succeed wisdom is power really, it’s more effective longterm than brute force then Hyrule rip