#except through her parents
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Society if the diagnostic process was anywhere near as easy as people who oppose self diagnosis believe it to be
"Self diagnosis is never valid!" Okay but is professional diagnosis actually accessible and affordable or do you just expect all the poor and otherwise marginalized people to suffer indefinitely in silence?
#i say this as someone who used to oppose self diagnosis#and lemme tell you#i was not imagining the diagnostic process at ALL accurately#i was critical of classmates who were like 12-16 years of age#that timespan in my life#and that mindset of ‘theyre just doing it for attention’#was very much present#i did try to listen and empathise more than most of our peers#but i still didnt really believe them snd thought they needed to go through the proper channels#like one of my friends was doing a byond blue quiz#about symptoms of depression#beyong blue is a reuptable mental health organisation (non-profit) btw that provides resources for anxiety and depression#but she would also take quizzes on other websites like ask.com or less legit ones#what i did not appreciate at the time is that an 11 or 12 year old girl#has no agency over what help dhe can access or receive#and is entirely dependent on parents and teachers believing her#not only that#there was no real way of asking for help#except through her parents#and telling your parents your mental health is not okay is sn incredibly difficult conversation to have#especially if your parents have an emotional reaction to hearing it#and its going to be difficult for the parent to NOT have an emotionsl reaction to hearing it#that’s a very awful thing to hear about your child!!#everything we demand others do to pass a legitimacy test for needing help#is so much harder than we imagine
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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Phandom: obviously there's child endangerment at the Fenton household, so let's write/draw content about Danny getting X ghostly parent
Me: but uh - hey guys, what about jazz?
Phandom: who?
Me: *long sigh* Danny's older sister
Phandom: oh her! Lol, she's 16, practically an adult! She's fiiiine :)
#danny phantom#jazz fenton#phandom#okay I hear you phandom#stories where ghosts adopt danny are cute#are we ignoring the minor who is also living in the same household????#yes. she acts mature.#because she HAS to.#playing the responsible adult who has a clue#except she's not. and she doesn't know what fuckery is going on because suddenly the parents she thought were insane are right about ghosts#and now her little brother is a ghost#*grabs phandom by shoulders and violently shakes*#GET. THIS GIRL. A STABLE ADULT.#y'all are sleeping on the potential here.#they did an ENTIRE cannon episode about how jazz is still a minor in a tough adult situation#and y'all missed the realization#yes it won't be the same dynamic as danny exploring his supernatural heritage through a ghost parent(s)#but come on! jazz and a ghost#almost any mentally stable ghost#EVEN BOX GHOST AND LUNCH LADY COULD ADOPT HER#Jazz would get cookies and a lifetime supply of bubble wrap#but more importantly: she wouldn't be forced to play the adult#jack and Maddie are walking out there in clown shoes ;-;#where is Jazz's found family dynamics?
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season 2 jenny and the night nurse. i don't ship them i want them to be the divorced moms to their adopted 4 disaster children.
#jenny would be the wine aunt except that's litty#and she would be the gay uncle but that's kingham#and she would be the cool big sister but that's death#jenny spends the entire season trying SO HARD to not be a single mom#she ends up getting an equally reluctant ex wife to parent with her#jenny can't decide if it's easier or harder to keep the 4 children alive with the night nurse there#yes 2 of the children are already dead no jenny doesn't care#they're alive to HER#she actually forgets they're dead all the time and then they walk through a wall or mention taking cocaine#is this me foreshadowing about my season 2 fic or me shitposting you decide#dead boy detectives#jenny the butcher#the night nurse
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i may be obsessed.
#her name is tenka but everyone calls her brandy#(warden nickname she earned in her early days due her unbreakable record of being able to drink ANYONE under the table)#her mother was banished from orzammar when she fell pregnant with her (long story very sad and dramatic and lowkey personal)#and while she was pregnant she was cared for and eventually fell in love with a gentle blacksmith from a small ferelden village#who her mother married (taking his surname) and who raised tenka as his daughter#she was a young child during the fifth blight and their village survived unscathed w the exception of some food shortages and trade issues#nothing life shattering#but she had heard of the darkspawn from her mother's stories about their family's history and they were her boogeymen#her monsters under the bed#but her parents reminded her she's smaller than all the other children and that's her strength. she's brilliant at hide and seek.#the darkspawn didn't come during the apex of the fifth blight but after#some lone grey warden had been staying at the inn that weekend. said something about looking for someone#now when the darkspawn came tenka Hid. her father was outside. her mother had already gone to the market. it was still morning#they said they wouldn't get in the house. it got very loud and then very quiet. and they got in.#she burst from the cupboard and ran to her father's smithy but she was only a child and when a darkspawn axe raked her back she collapsed#into the rack of blades she had been reaching for. these were her monsters and she was bleeding so much and her parents were missing#and she was so scared so so so scared. between fight and flight it was always flight and she had nowhere left to fly to#another graze of the blade across her chest as she scampered back made her scream and that's when she saw rowena#her uncles and cousins from her mother's stories never felt like heroes due to what they did to her mother but when she saw rowena hack#down her monsters piercing through them valiantly like light through the crack in her dark bedroom door#with her mother and father right behind completely safe and sobbing and relieved and Alive#she had never looked up to someone more#see rowena got a lot of things wrong but brandy is exactly what she got right#only two villagers died. farmers. it had been but a small darkspawn raid. but she saved a girl. saved a family. saved a town.#rowena stayed in town while tenka recovered (most likely to ensure she didn't contract the blight) and tenka adored her every move#she knows nothing of rowena's struggles. knows nothing of rowena's missteps. nothing of the constant reminder of mortality in her head#just that she's her hero. just that she wants to be exactly like her.#she joined the wardens young with a kiss to her parents goodbye and never looked back even when it turned out to be harder#in ways she'd never imagined. but she was immovable. a force of will. she was dauntless and daring and it was her idolization of rowena#that inspired her and kept her going. where other wardens cracked no amount of hardship could break her. it was almost Smug
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thinking about the way that lady macbeth convinces macbeth to kill duncan and yeah she talks about power and cowardice and what he owes to himself and to her, but at the heart of the whole thing is how their child died and she has nothing else to pin her hopes for the future on. unfortunately the fact that they no longer have an heir is also the driving force behind macbeth’s violent paranoia toward banquo which ultimately dooms them
#like the last thing she does before he agrees to go through with the murder is invoke the loss of her motherhood#that’s what gives him the push. i could scream. it’s evil because they both think they’re doing it for the other person#and how could their relationship NOT fall apart after that honestly? how can you do that for someone and not grow to resent it?#and the fact that we have no details except that she must have had a child at some point if she’s able to nurse a child#and the fact that the matter of children and childbearing is so fraught in the play#oh my god. i could tear off all my skin thinking about it#AND that he kills macduff’s infant son in cold blood…. fucked up#anyway….. the modern reading of lady m as sympathetic because she only wants what’s best for her husband is correct imo#but when you consider this context it becomes even more so because he is her entire family now#due to the mundane perversion of a child dying before their parents#that’ll fuck you up. god forbid women do anything#macbeth
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“the locked tomb is about love vs. freedom” “the locked tomb is about death” “the locked tomb is about the dangers of codependent relationships” “the locked tomb is about climate change” “the locked tomb is about identity with regards to the soul” yeah sure but above all else. the locked tomb is about bodily autonomy
#idk just thinking about alecto and the parallel tamsyn muir draws between fighting climate change#and the body autonomy fight of the feminist movement#the patriarchal control and harm john exerts on the earth in a paternal patronizing attempt to save it#the byproduct of john eating the earth being an eve-like creation of alecto in the model of the pinnacle of white femininity#the way that necromancers keep their body when becoming lyctors except for their cavaliers’ eyes and consumed soul#the difference between ianthe fucking with harrow’s hair glands vs. harrow growing ianthe a new arm#the resistance’s plan to take down john being contingent on nonconsensual sex. wake despising carrying gideon for nine months.#the creation of paul being implied to create a new body#nona being able to read all body language and understanding people best through how they physically are#john making kiriona’s body ‘perfect’ by making it impenetrable (untouchable) and heartless#harrow puppeting her dead parents’ bodies for years. john raising ulysses and titania as dead puppets as his first act of necromancy#nona being able to speak with varun and empathize with his grief and anger#idk. bodies and planets and personhood and the violation of all#the locked tomb#blah.txt
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I don’t think I’ve ever been the same since I realised books about the love between a girl and a horse are really just the good girl/bad boy trope except the bad boy is a horse
#he’s so angry except when he’s with her#he only lets her near him#she’s the only one that can get through to him#her parents are probably dead#his name is probably blaze or zaden
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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mulder and diana literally have the most intense divorced energy anyone could ever have...they have the chemistry of two people who've been married for decades and maybe don't wanna be married anymore, maybe aren't married anymore, but once you're married you're grandfathered in. you're always married. haven't touched each other in years, go most days not even considering the other, but owe each other something, and aren't sure of what it is. diana lies and lies and lies to his face, and then dies to save him. she feels entitled to him, she knows what's best for him, what's his is theirs. always. she was there when he got it. she helped him build it. (she tells him herself: "don't forget that"). so much of what she does appears as she's trying to establish a claim over him, but she doesn't have to try. she just is. she's irreproachable. you don't talk about the wife. (and you don't talk to her, as scully and diana arguing is met only with mulder's impatient, "scully...scully...scully.")
any time she comes up in conversation, his friends are uncomfortable. i love the way byers goes "well....yeah?" when scully asks if he knows diana. he says it like he's surprised that scully didn't know about her. when scully won't stop pressing mulder about diana in one son, all three of the boys tense up. the camera keeps going to their reactions. (you don't talk about the wife. they were there. "i always wondered why they split up.")
scully says "special agent diana fowley" as though maybe if she had one more title to throw in, she would disappear. diana says "fox" like she has something to prove. mulder says "diana" like it communicates everything he doesn't say. and in a way, it does. the first time scully heard him call agent fowley "diana," she knew.
#just because it isn't warm doesn't mean dd and mimi rogers didnt have chemistry#they have the chemistry of two people who played a married couple in a movie that ends with religiously motivated murder/suicide#they have cold ancient unsettling chemistry#watch any scene between the two of them and tell me it doesn't feel exactly like your parents silently moving through the house. saying#what they aren't saying#txf.txt#diana#the direction and camera placement in 'one son' frames scully as SO small#especially in that argument scene#they filmed it from mulder's eyeline/perspective#whereas typically scully's side would've been shot at her level (over his shoulder) or they would've put her on the box#but it's set up to where she is so small in front of him. and she FEELS small. and she is small. she's disadvantaged.#and it isn't fair. because where the fuck was diana? does having started it count more than following through? does having been there first#when gibson said that scully doesn't worry about what ANYONE thinks. 'except for her.'#what diana thinks matters. she's this looming figure with so much influence. and she IS irreproachable.#he won't let a word be said about her. she won't let anyone else have final say over him.#and more than anything else that's why i think they were married. more than the wedding ring in flashback episodes. more than the tension#they have this territoriality that feels very specific to divorce
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omg u dreamt of bruce my evil plan is working >:) planting bruce in your subconscious for health wealth and happiness lol. get some rest tho that sounds like. not enough sleep 😭
yaaaay i love your evil plan!!!!! and no it was not enough but. A girl's gotta go line dancing friday nights!! and i had to wake up early today to go pick up this towel I weaved so it's totally my fault, should have gotten back home earlier
#the day went like work -> going to the mall as a work task -> just hanging out at the mall pretending the work stuff is taking longer#(to get back at my supervisor that made me go to the mall on her behalf)#-> lunch (at 5:30 pm) -> nap -> outfit selection -> drive to the bar -> line dancing -> a&w veggie masala burger (which is surprisingly goo#-> giant cookie ice cream -> line dancing again -> drving friends home (a detour but we wanted to chat about like. situationships) -> showe#-> bed at like 3:30. Bruce dream. He was young and his hair was beautiful -> wake up due to alarm feeling like i wanna die.#anyway the bruce dream was sooo interesting. He was wearing a white suit and searching for his wife. He gave me and two random girls a rose#each#and he said hi to my parents???#everyone was normal age except for him and then we were heading to the concert through tunnels and we stopped to look at a doll#that was being sold for like 200$ like a monster high doll and my grandma just appeared out of nowhere#never made it to the concert before my alarm wrang#you probably did not want this much details but youre welcome#asks#squishious
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#except i watched queer eye yesterday#of an 18yr old who lost her entire family - siblings and parents - through the years to a genetic disorder#and the end of the ep ended with a memoriam bc she died herself a year after filming#and so that was a giant bummer and not the uplift i was looking for!!#queer eye#queer eye germany
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anyway steve and eddie belting out “fight for your right” by beastie boys like it’s a duet every time they pick up the kids, windows down, entertaining the whole neighbourhood
#the parents are bewildered at first except claudia henderson who’s just happy to see her chaotic sons happy#steddie#stranger things#steddie headcanon#it’s not even a headcanon it’s just the mental image that got me through arm workout today
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With two divorces and three deaths in the family over the last year and a half my family is completely fracturing but mostly I feel sourly grateful that this didn't happen when I was a teenager and I'm really sorry for my younger cousins who are Really Going Through It rn.
#chit chat#i haven't seen my youngest cousins in almost a year#because after the divorce they stopped coming to family gatherings#i hope they're doing well#cuz i don't have their phone number or their address since the divorce#and then with the other divorce#everyone involved except one is an adult#and for that one this will be the second divorce her parents have gone through while she was a teenager#i can't imagine what it's like for her rn#and then the deaths of course completely shattered everyone on top of that#fuck this stupid baka life#but thank fuck im not fourteen and dealing with this
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My (DEAD) aunts ex husband is spending TWO nights at our place (aka cannot in piece cook in the kitchen for two fucking days) and im going to the match tomorrow with my MOM (oh god) and some 15 yr old croatian boy i KNOOOOW ill share awkward silences with.... Pleaseeeeeee save me sb just save meeeee
#my memory is so fucked because of drama and she died when i was like 12 and i miss her sm but i just dont remember her a lot i just remember#loving her. recently i catch myself thinking i wish i still had her because im estranged to every other person in my family (except parents)#:/#and i guess its sweet but everybody keeps comparing me to her#sometimes her old friends or my grandma call me by her name...#I want to see her too in me and i cant i dont have that#my memory is SO fucked she died when i was 11 and i dont have any distinct memory i just remember loving her#and its so unfair :(#i went through her albums (she was a photographer#.... well part time... lowkey kinda) and she has such... such a huge life idk so many friends and#she travelled LOADS#she could have taught me so much#sham!s rambles#he literally gifted me his wedding ring to her for my 18th bday 😭😭 btw....
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#the way my sister complains about having no games for her ds and switch when she let both of her exes keeps all of the games#like girl you could have took some of them and you didn’t!!! why is this suddenly my problem#my mom is telling me to be nice and share when switch games don’t work like that#and I don’t trust her to not mess stuff up in the game for me#like she threw away half of my nail polish today because I kept it in her room before she moved back in bc my room is very small and she#thought that gave her liberty to throw the ones she thought looked old away???#and then she got mad when I made her dig them out of the trash like!!!! you could have just brought them over to my room like a normal#person but you decided to start throwing shit out instead#anyway I’m sorry for complaining it’s just annoying having everyone tell me to be nice when I couldn’t be nicer#just because you’re going through a hard time doesn’t mean you can snap at mom when she asks a simple question#‘but it reminds me of my girlfriend and how she always fights with me 🥺’ but you knew mom for longer and you know she hates when people get#upset with her!!! and it sucks bc she doesn’t understand how hard it is to be the only person my parents can complain to because they#don’t have friends#she doesn’t understand why I’m the one always confronting her about stuff when my parents are scared of her getting mad at them bc every#time you say something simple like ‘hey don’t leave your shoes in the middle of the floor’ she gets upset and I’m the only one who doesn’t#let it actually get to me… at least it doesn’t bother me after I post a tumblr rant okay bye#it’s just the same childhood drama except she’s almost 30 and I’m almost 21 like be serious
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