#except the ones that push others down so they can have a few extra moments of rights

[theamazingannie]

Nothing is more depressing to me than seeing LGB people being transphobia. Especially during Pride. We are in this together. They target us together. If they successfully put down trans people, we’re next. They’re not going to care that you are also transphobia. They hate you, too. They’re not going to pick you.

[seiwas]

₊˚⊹。and my body keeps saying (it's yours) | gojo satoru

wc: 1.6k

summary: gojo thinks this is different, new, almost like it’s the first time for everything.

contains: f!reader in mind but no specifics are mentioned, 18+/mature/soft-slight n*ft/w, sex with feelings (it’s really just vanilla tho!), first time!, there’s an awkward bit but that’s intentional!, lots of nervous feelings! but also lots of intimacy!

a/n: for nonie.🫧 who asked about what it would be like for their first time! title is inspired by an emotional oranges song, devotion (which i used as music inspo for the entire fic too + troye sivan, what a heavenly way to die). this is also my first time writing anything close to n*fw so please be kind! idk if i’ll ever write one again; takes place between tell me about love (show me how) and so this is what it means to be in love!

collection masterlist: conversations on love 02. tell me about love (show me how) <- you are here -> +02 (extra). look my way, you're what i crave

MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT.

It’s a touch—

—fingertips brushing the edge of his jaw, trailing down his neck, lightly, delicately.

Gojo kisses you beneath the glow of your bathroom lights and he twitches, just a little bit. 

“Sorry,” you stop, attempting to pull away from him immediately. 

His neck is sensitive, always has been since Toji. The mark has faded over the years; what used to be a line running through the shadow of his jawline is now nothing, but you know the feeling lingers, still. You’ve tried to avoid the area as much as you could—while sparring, hugging, kissing; holding him in moments as intimate as this. But sometimes, your fingers slip, and he jolts, so you move away, apologetic—

And he wishes that you didn’t, wishes that he didn’t have to react that way when all he really wants is for you to hold him like this.

He stares at you now, lips puffed and kiss-bitten, and thinks, he shouldn’t even be here—

—at 2:00 a.m., in your apartment, fresh out of a three-day assignment he caught the last train for, just to see you. 

He shouldn’t even be here, bone-tired in a black t-shirt and track pants he couldn’t be bothered with—there just wasn’t enough time to change out of it. 

And he really shouldn't even be here, except, he cut the assignment two days short, rushed through it, restless, eager at the thought of getting back soon. 

All because he missed you. 

Gojo keeps you close, his fingers splayed on the base of your spine, warm and pressing. You can’t read him, his next move, but his eyes hold lightning crackling. He takes your hand and guides it back to where he’s weakest, underneath his jaw, on his neck—healed skin and tissue, his lifeline to you.

“Keep it,” he murmurs, eyes piercing. 

He still twitches when you touch his skin, but it’s always been involuntary. You should know that it could never be because of you, your hands that hold every good thing his heart carries. 

You lean in first, tiptoeing, nudging his nose with yours and your lips hovering. His pulse point rests beneath your fingertips—can you feel how fast it’s beating? Just from having you near him? 

The tips of his hair tickle your forehead and he swallows, throat bobbing. It’s impossible to resist him when he’s this boyish, this charming, so you kiss his lips once, before pulling away, teasing. He bites his lips, red blooming against pink, and you don’t know exactly what you’re anticipating—

But he leans in. 

When you kiss again, the feeling is familiar, a memory of trembling lips and shaky breaths by a bathroom door that isn’t yours. He doesn’t tremble anymore, isn’t as stiff when he has your lips memorized among many other things, but Gojo still flushes the same way your cheeks heat up and your breaths intermingle at the same rate your hearts race.  

You follow where the lights have diffused into your hallway, this dance with him a push-and-pull you’ve done a few times before. He keeps his palm flat on your lower back, pushing you closer, while pulling you towards your bedroom door.  

His hands slide to your waist, dipping you, grip tightening as you bite his lips, tugging. He moans softly, voice low when your hands rake through his hair, the vibrations rippling through your mouth. Your fingers grasp at the short strands of hair at the back of his head, sighing when his lips are released from yours. 

There’s a moment where you catch his eyes, pupils blown a dangerous blue—a sky swallowing you whole before he begins trailing kisses down your neck, nips and licks evidence of just how greedy he is with you. 

A heat builds within you, rooted deep in your belly as you stay pressed against the outline on his crotch. 

It’s hard to imagine a time before all this, how he even struggled to hold your hand when he touches you now like this. 

You stumble over his feet as he backs into your bedroom, steadied only by his hold on you. You chuckle, a small ‘oops’, so sweet, as your collarbone clashes with his teeth. He smiles, lips curled against your skin as he teases, “So clumsy,” 

He’s kissed you this much before, has held you this tight, and touched you much more but this feeling between you now, he can tell—

Tonight is different. 

You lead him this time, to the edge of your bed as you keep him closer, hands all over him. When you lie down, lower lip caught between your teeth, you smile shyly but your eyes burn sinfully, and Gojo wonders if you know that this is what he sees when he’s dreaming. 

He moves closer, your mattress dipping as he hovers above you, arms caging the sides of your face. His head is spinning, eyes zeroing in on the skin exposed by the single button undone on your pajama top. 

When you cup his cheeks, thumb running across his swollen lips—

He thinks he might go crazy. 

You have no idea what you just did. 

He takes a breath before pressing every bit of his longing onto your neck, kissing, sucking, licking, imprinting proof that he was here, with you. It’s red and blotchy, situated right underneath your ear and it’s one too many but still not enough—for him, never enough.

You gasp, tugging at the hem of his shirt, and it’s overwhelming, this feeling. As quickly as it escalated, Gojo freezes, as if you’ve burned him, as if he’s caught up to what could possibly be happening, and it’s—

It’s a lot. 

He pulls away slowly, eyes wide and breath shaky. The air is thick, hot and heavy, and this—where this is going is something he’s never done before, not entirely. 

You sit up, alarmed, hands cradling his face carefully. His eyes are frantic, nervous, blinking at a pace that only makes you worried. 

“We can stop,” you mumble, lowering your hands to take his, gently.

He sees you, hair a mess, marked his, beautiful, and  he just wants to make sure—that you’re okay with this, that you want this, with him. Truly. 

“Do you want to?” he asks, a sky you could fall into, “Honestly.” 

He breathes out, staring. You gulp before shaking your head. “Do you?”  

And he doesn’t have to think much about it, really, because of course, he doesn’t want to stop. 

How could he, when it’s you?

He shakes his head too and you smile.

You squeeze his hand, guiding it to the buttons of your top, “Okay—”

“We’ve never…” he hesitates, trailing off.

It’s weird because it isn’t anything he hasn’t seen before; you’ve both done things at the very least, just never all the way. And now, with the knowledge that that very fact is going to change—it feels different, new, like it’s the first time for everything. 

You nod, stroking his knuckles to reassure him, “You said you’re a fast learner, right?” 

The nervous laugh you give is oddly comforting, and he remembers that first kiss and the single thought that if he doesn’t do this now, how much longer ‘till he does? 

So he takes it—

—unbuttons your top one-by-one, and he’s a bit shaky, hands clammy, but he gets it off eventually. Then goes his shirt, and your shorts, his pants, a struggle to get past his ankles until you’re both bare, cheeks hot while giggling, like first loves—and maybe it is. 

Gojo sees you stripped down, uncovered, wholly you for the first time and thinks he could die. 

It’s vulnerable and strange as he hovers over you this time, skin-to-skin, but you fit together this way, just right. 

You giggle some more, unable to hide your nervousness. It’s a habit you have—laughing in inappropriate situations, but he thinks it’s cute, so he does it right back. 

Your fingers trace his eyebrows, down to his nose and cheeks, then to his lips, still red and bitten, “You’re so pretty, Satoru. Not fair.” 

He blushes, tips of his ears and neck flushing, “‘Course,” he kisses your nose, pulling away to get a good look at you.

“Have to be if I’m with you.” 

It’s cheesy, and you roll your eyes, laughing full-on but he smiles wider and it feels good knowing that he’ll forever get to share this moment with you. 

“I, uh,” he mumbles, trying to find the words, “have to prep.” 

“Oh, yeah, right,” you move, hands reaching for him between you, but he catches your wrist before you touch him, stopping you. 

“Don’t,” he says, firm, face red as he looks straight at you. “I might not…” he doesn’t continue but you know what he means, so you nod, pulling away. 

His hand trails down your body, inching closer to where you need him to be, and it’s sweet you think, because he kisses your lips once before asking, “Can I?” as if he still has to.

You nod, before whispering, “Don’t ask next time.” 

Next time, you said and it rings, echoes in his head as a promise for more—that this is just the beginning. 

So he touches you, in every way he thinks you should be, in every way he knows you want to be. 

There’s a gasp, then a moan as he leaves another mark on your neck, and you’re so close when he stops. 

You whimper, but you know what’s next, and you see it in his eyes as he prepares himself, fingers discarding a square packet, “You’ll let me know?” he whispers, soft, concerned.

You’ll let me know if I hurt you? he means, and his eyes stare into yours, sincere. 

You nod, brushing your lips against his, and when you feel it—it’s unusual, maybe a bit uncomfortable but he’s there kissing it away. 

There’s an adjustment, a few awkward positions until he finds it, then he goes slow, rhythmic. Your sighs grow louder and he groans, withholding, then you say it—

“‘Toru,”

—by his ear, soft and breathy, and he’s gone, stilling and spilling, a part of him forever yours, irrevocably. 

thank you notes: to nonie.🫧 for asking about this in the first place, and to niku (@stellamancer) for emotional support and for reading this first!! + for helping me go over it!! i love u niku 😭

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 24.5 - You Can Throw A Party

Ok, so this is shorter, but I really didn't know what else to put. But I hope it satisfies everyone's wants and needs! This got super sappy, but I loved the ending and I hope you do too!

Like always comments, questions, concerns, asks, reblogs, and likes are appreciated! Love you all and enjoy :D

The grid didn’t know what to expect when they finally arrived at the address that you had sent. Sure, they were expecting a house, but a plain and simple one. Not the giant ass mansion that their Ubers pulled up to. 

Charles looked at Pierre. 

“Is this the right house?” 

The Frenchman just shrugged his shoulders. Lando and Oscar had ridden with Alex, Lily, and Logan, who arrived at pretty much the same time as everyone else. Max and Arthur had apparently arrived early, since they weren’t staying in an extra hotel. 

Why the rest didn’t just accept your offer to stay there was your guess. But as the group of 17 guys gazed at the giant estate, they were rethinking their options.

The rest didn’t really know what to say. 

“I volunteer Lando to knock first!” Oscar called out before pushing the Briton toward the door. 

“Hey! Why me? I vote for Logan?” 

“Excuse you? I’m not the party animal Mr. Worldwide.” 

“Is that supposed to be an insult, Mr. Eagle screech?” 

“Well, if the boot fits.” 

“What did you just say?” 

“If the boot fits.” 

“Can you two please calm down?” the familiar voice of Lewis asked as he got out of his car with George and Carmen. Both were wearing similar outfits to everyone else. Light button ups with shorts. He was about to say something, but the front door opened. 

Arthur just stood there, looking weirdly once everyone didn’t move. 

“Are you all going to stand there arguing or come in?” he called out. Once the group got the go ahead, they all walked swiftly to the door. 

They thought the outside was huge, but the inside seemed to be even bigger. At the giant bar in the corner, the drivers found you siting and talking to Max, who already had a gin tonic in his hand. Arthur came over, putting a hand on your waist and a kiss on your head. Max spotted the group first and left you alone with your boyfriend. 

Logan’s jaw dropped as he witnessed the move. 

“When did that happen?” 

He pointed at the two of you, causing the rest of the drivers to look. Charles smirked at the sight of his brother and you being cozy. 

Max leaned over, “He asked her out after her crash at Suzuka.” 

Charles shivered at the memory of that day. 

He also added, “He’s been in love with her since their first season of Formula 2. I remember him coming home after he met her. ‘Charles, I think I just found the love of my life’.” 

The grid let out a bunch of “awes” at the new information and laughed at Charles’s impression of his brother (even though he could have just talked normally and sounded the exact same). They watched as the younger Monegasque place another gentle kiss on your forehead as you looked up at him, love evident in your eyes. The two of you were so soft as Arthur was gently rubbing your leg as you animatedly talked to Vito. 

You finally laid eyes on the rest of the drivers, smile widening as you slid off the stool you were sitting on. 

“Anyone want a drink?” you questioned, motioning to the bar. 

They were silent for a moment, before Fernando said, “Yes please.” 

That was the start of a wild night. It wasn’t too long before the drinks were being poured and refilled. Since you had started drinking here and there, you stayed safe with little fruity drinks. The grid was shocked at what your house had to offer. 

They were the first few to show up, but multiple personelle started coming after a while. It looked like the party was truly open to whoever wanted to come (except to one certain 6-foot baguette driver). Your entire team was talking the workers from other teams as well. It was a full house, and everyone was getting along – even Toto and Christian. That duo made your eyes bulge as you saw them getting along as they played pool. 

You took the group on a house tour. Charles wanted to cry at the sight of your car collection in the garage. Logan and Alex definitely took turns taking pictures inside the Evo. The next place you took them was the track. 

The drivers whined as they looked at the shiny karts. 

“Where did you get these? I don’t recognize the model,” Carlos mentioned, while crouching down to look closer. 

Your smile grew as you brushed one off. “My manager has his own line. I bought some off of him once I found out about the karting track.” 

The next few things went quickly. The girls really loved the giant bedrooms that the house had to offer. You had a smirk on your face as Carmen was complaining to George. 

She huffed. “Why would you want to stay at a hotel when we could have stayed here?”

George gawked at her, trying to come up with an excuse. 

You took this as a sign to pipe up. 

“Actually, I had my people bring your stuff over. I think after the party, everyone won’t want to leave.” 

Carmen, Lily, and Alex all squealed at the announcement. You could see George, Alex, and Charles all visible relax once their girlfriends were satiated. You knew that they would want to get into the pool at some point. 

They were speechless at the sight of your paddle court as well as the laser tag room. Once the tour was over, you let everyone just free. After a few rounds of paddle and karting, you made your way back into the main living room. 

You quickly found yourself cuddled up to your boyfriend. Your head was nicely tucked into his neck as your legs were draped over his legs. He was currently talking to Christian and Geri about how endurance training. You definitely saw the outcomes of the extra gym time as you glanced at his more defined muscles.

After everyone had their share of the house, Lando got his hands on the DJ set that you installed just for the party. 

“Who’s fucking ready for this?” he yelled out, starting up the first song. That was cue for you and Arthur to get up and start moving. You’re pretty sure you saw Toto getting it down to Right Round. 

Logan of course had to ask for Free Bird and completely ripped his shirt during the guitar solo. Oscar just stayed in a corner, shaking his head with a hand over his face. If his Lily was here, he’d probably not be the American’s babysitter, but tonight he was girlfriendless and babysitting duty was placed on him. 

Once a few more songs had played, Arthur suddenly left your grasp. The night was winding down as it neared 3 a.m., so you thought he was going to get ready for bed. Yet, he walked over to Lando, showed the Briton a song on his phone, and walked back to you. 

A soft melody filled the air. The partiers (Logan, Daniel, Fernando, George, Carlos, and Charles) were all passed out somewhere. 

Your eyes widened at the familiar guitar plucking. You smiled up at Arthur. 

“You didn’t.” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“It’s your song Cheri. Of course I did.” 

You placed your head on his chest as the two of you penguin danced. Max was on the side with Christian and Vito, watching the whole thing. 

“Nothing ‘bout the way that you were treated ever seemed alarming till now

“So you tie up your hair and you smile like it’s no big deal” 

You sighed as you listened to the lyrics of the song Arthur picked out for you. Tears wanted to fall, but you wanted to bask in the moment. Arthur gently placed his head on yours, holding you ever so tighter. 

“You can let it go

“You can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, ‘cause they never showed you love. You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.” 

The drivers who were left on the floor all watched as the crowd slowly broke up, letting you and Arthur just be together. 

Geri leaned her head on Christian as she watched the two of you just hold each other. Max was videoing for Kelly as she couldn’t make it. 

Alex had nudged Charles very hard so that he could wake up and possibly film it for his mother. The Monegasque might have also let out a few tears at the sight. 

Lando, who had been at the DJ booth, turned the sound up a bit higher, really letting the song echo throughout the whole house. 

Everyone was now watching as Arthur was now slightly spinning you. Your giggles could be heard by those around the two of you. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned back in.

The warmth and love around you was everything that you asked for. 

Vito, who was off to the side, looked out the window to a bright star in the sky. He smiled softly as the one star twinkled, almost winking at the Italian. He chuckled as he if he was going to tell a funny joke. 

He softly whispered, “She finally found the family she needed. You’d be so proud of her.”

The star twinkled once again, almost in response. 

Vito looked back at the dance floor, just you and Arthur together, surrounded by everyone who loved you. 

Your family. 

“You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know 

“You can start a family who will always show you love 

“You don’t have to be sorry, no.” 

y/n.jpg has posted (imagine insta can post 12 pics lol)

y/n.jpg did someone say party?

tagged: arthur_leclerc, landonorris, maxverstappen1, vito_official, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, danielricciardo, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, carmenmmundt, yukitusoda0511, pierregasley, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton, alex_albon, and lilymhe

liked by christianhorner, y/n.nation, lestappenlove, maxiel4ever, and 357,295 others

rookie_on_top I just wanna know how big her house is

formulafan1 I know the guest list must have been INSANE

logan2sargeant I heard that pretty much everyone on the grid was there ouioui_bagette there were other pictures from the drivers and it seemed like the team principals were enjoying the time as well

ozzydown_under81 so this is where the catering money went to?

madmax33 how did max get on Vito's shoulders and what even is that shirt????????

maxverstappen1 it's a mindset vito_official your thighs are amazing man maxiel4ever HOLD UP

logansargeant I swear I'm not as think as you drunk I am

y/n.jpg he's gone...Oscar?? oscarpiastri on it

y/n.nation we have lando back on dj duty, Charles is acting carefree, Nando and George are back together partying, Yuki and pierre got into the karaoke room?, and apparently Logan ripped his shirt open during Free Bird

logansargeant hell yeaahhhhhh! EAGLE SCREECH RAWWRRR oscarpiastri get back here

y/nxarthur did anyone else see that video lando posted and then took down?

y/n&co I did! looked like Arthur and y/n were slow dancing together rookie_baby this and then Arthur's post?? they aren't as secret as they think lol

lilymhe never drinking that much again, but thanks babe for the fun night!

alex_albon no problem y/n.jpg she wasn't talking to you

gridkid everyone is probably wasted

y/n.jpg you'd be correct

sebvettelfan aahhh this reminds me of the good days when they could just party

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[gorgeys]

riding maeve's hero suit...

she's lying on the bed in her full costume, minus the boots, after just having returned from a long day of dealing with vought and few nasty criminals. now, she finally gets the chance to relax with a joint between her teeth and her hands comfortably behind her head as she intently watches you make a show of sliding your shorts down your hips.  a smirk plays on her lips as her eyes ravage your body, now only dressed in your panties.

then you're on your hands and knees, crawling from the foot of the bed all the way up to your girlfriend.  she pats her bare thigh, signaling where she wants you, and you can't deny her.  it's only a few moments before your straddling her stomach, the cold metal armor of the suit sending waves of pleasure through your core.

she takes the joint between her fingers on one hand while the other trails from your knee, up your thigh, and finally finds its usual place on your hip.  smoke pours from her nose and the slight opening of her mouth.

"been waiting so long for you, baby" she says, licking her lips.  "show me what you can do."

you certainly don't need to be told twice as you lean forward and roughly press your lips against hers.  one of your hands grabs her chin, steadying the intense kiss, while the other clutches onto her bare shoulder, steadying yourself as you grind your cunt harshly into the metal.

"missed you, maeve," you whisper against her lips, rolling your hips against her once more.

she carelessly drops the joint on the nightstand so she can grab your body with both hands.  her hands loosely decorate your skin, not helping you create any friction, so you're left to languidly drag your pussy against her suit in a slow, agonizing pattern.  you leave maeve's lips and sit upright again.

she's always loved watching you.  she watches you arch your back to hit just the right spot.  she watches you lull your head back and grip her shoulder tighter.  she watches your desperate face that's practically screaming for more pressure.  she watches as your eyes never leave hers.

"fuck," she whispers, perfectly content to stay like this forever.  her hands move back to squeeze handfuls of your ass.  "don't need these, do we?" she says, a finger sneaking below the waistband of your panties.  she waits for you to shake your head before she tears them in two with the slightest tug of a single finger.  perks of dating the world's strongest woman.

she pulls the panties out from under you and tosses them aside.  she looks down to where your cunt meets her stomach and she audibly moans when she can see the wetness leak out of you and onto her suit.  you moan at the feeling of the cold metal against your bare clit and make an extra effort to press your pussy harder and faster against it.  that only lasts for a few seconds.

"easy, tiger," she says, suddenly applying an iron grip on your hips, instantly halting your movements.  after a moment, she guides you to start riding again at a slower pace, except this time she assists you by pressing your body harshly into her, eliciting a louder moan from your lips.  she watches your breasts bounce with each push and pull.  "that's it."

your hips keep rolling but she controls the pace and pressure, ensuring that you're whining incessantly for her to let you fuck yourself faster.  your pleads do nothing to help the situation, only leaving her more satisfied with herself.

it's only when you reach back under her skirt with one hand, pushing her panties aside and sloppily rubbing her clit in time with your movements that she falters, allowing your name and a string of curse words to fall from her lips.

"come on, maeve.  wanna make a mess on you," you say, your fingers trailing down her chest, lingering in between her breasts, before finding their way to her breastplate.  "if i come, then you can come too."

her grip on you tightens as she rocks you a little faster, noticing the way you groan and the way your fingers speed up on her clit.

"yes, right there," you moan with your head thrown back.  it encourages her to replicate the last stroke, using her big hands to move you like you're just her limp doll.  which you are.

she wraps a hand around your throat and pulls you down toward her.  you drop onto your forearms, placed on either side of her head, and kiss her once more.  it's so messy with saliva dripping everywhere as you moan into each other's mouths, but she wouldn't want it any other way.

your hips involuntarily buck against her before she feels your legs tighten around her stomach and your grip on her suit grow stronger.

"you gonna come so fast?" she asks while forcefully rutting your hips against her suit even faster than before.

you can only nod as you try to focus on rubbing maeve's clit in tight circles, which has her teetering on the edge.

"wanna walk around and smell your pussy on me wherever i go," she whispers in your ear.  "come all over me, baby."

those words do it for you and your suddenly spasming around her, clawing onto every part of her that you can grab as loud, ungodly moans of her name rush out of you.  you arch your back at an impossible angle, squeezing your eyes shut while maeve watches the cum leak out of you.

that sight finally allows her to come on your fingers a moment later.  she groans loudly and grabs onto your hips so hard that her nails nearly break your skin and you can already feel the bruises forming.  it's not as bad as that time when you first start dating that she fractured your wrist when she came.  she's learned to control her strength better since then.

"god, you really did make a fucking mess," she says, punctuated with a laugh, after you've both come down from your highs, though you're still panting like a dog in heat.  she strokes your cheek with the backside of her hand.  "now get on your knees and lick it off of me."

[shortestcake]

SUCCUMB

Pairing: Pirate!Ellie Williams x Mermaid!reader

Pronouns used: none

Gendered terms: mermaid

Genre: (eventual) fluff+angst+smut

Summary: An infamous pirate seems to have finally bitten off more than she can chew.

// blood/wounds/alcohol mentioned, I don't know anything about ships, or sailing, or even pirates really, ellie is a bit dumb sometimes

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Silver scales glistened from underneath the water, or were they blue? Maybe pink, or green. She couldn't really tell, it was like they'd shift colors at every new angle of reflected light. But that didn't matter all too much. What did matter was that Ellie was about to grasp the biggest catch of her life.

"Fucking Christ— Hey!" Her voice bellowed throughout the ship, yet not loudly enough to garner the attention of her— probably asleep— crewmates. Of course, she could usually manage this on her own; though, in the moment, a helping hand would've been ideal, given the whiskey she enjoyed earlier.

But, not willing to let this gem slip away, she rushes to get the fishing net herself, nearly tumbling due to her drunken state. She practically sprints back once it's in her hold. And, with as much precision as she can muster, Ellie tosses the net. Reeling it back in when it's clear her target was tangled in well enough.

'This was it, this was what you finally got after years of dancing around death', you thought. You were just so curious, the group of young adults, laughing, drinking, dancing, effortlessly caught your eye. They were so muddled after all that liquor, that you assumed surely it'd be harmless to have a closer look. Especially once everyone went inside except for one woman. One mesmerizing woman.

She continues to lug the net upwards, slamming you against the ship's walls occasionally. 'This should last us weeks', she thought to herself, the weight of the fish taking her by surprise. It certainly wasn't the heaviest thing she's carried, but definitely not as light as fish usually are, and also definitely squirmier than fish typically are. Ellie could've sworn she felt a tugging of some sort.

Once over the edge, she choked on her own spit at the sight. Instead of a bug-eyed, all fin and scales— the pirate finds staring back at her a very human-looking pair of eyes. Naturally, her grip falters from the shock, and the net slips back to where she struggled so much to take it from.

Only your yelp snaps her back to reality, just in time to snatch the rope again. She caught it and dragged you back up without thinking, instinctively 'helping' you, now that her brain recognized you as a person and not just a meal.

The two of you just stared at each other, you wanted to curse at her, scream in her face and tackle her— your fucking arms and back hurt so much from how she knocked you into the ship. But you did nothing, after all, you weren't underwater, she clearly had the upper hand. And, as every second passed, you became more unsure of her motives. You initially thought she was one of those people who'd hunt inhuman creatures just for some extra coin. Sell elf teeth by gram, or mermaid scales by the piece. Instead, she looked more lost than you, eyeing you up and down, but not menacingly— it was shocked, curious even.

Finally, she pushed out of her frozen state, rubbing her eyes with her palms. "I'm way too fuckin' drunk for this." She slurred, it would've made you chuckle under other circumstances.

Ellie's mind was running a hundred miles a minute, did she really just accidentally catch a mermaid, how does that even happen?

Maybe this was your chance to slip away, retreat into the ocean, and play it safe. You swore to whatever divinity would listen, you'd never step out of line again if they spared you this once.

A firm grip on your arm stopped you from withdrawing any farther.

Jade eyes bore into yours, fixated on your features as her lips gaped. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to formulate a proper sentence. "You— what—" Asking what you were would've been foolish, so she stopped herself; "What were you doing so close to a ship?".

"Just... curious." You answered carefully, still unable to decipher her character.

The thief hums, not very convinced. Mermaids were supposed to be dangerous to humans. What if you weren't alone? What if she and her friends were in danger? What if—

Before she could think of what to do, a familiar voice rang through the air. "Ellie? Are ya' still out here?" Joel. Suddenly all rational thinking was lost, and Ellie turned back into a teenager trying to avoid a scolding. She pulled you out of the net and hoisted you into her arms, practically throwing you over your shoulder and running to her room.

You instantly started thrashing around, panicked. "Put me down." You hissed, slamming your fists into her back.

"Shut up. Shut up. You'll get us caught!" Now, realistically, she knew she had no reason to be this worried. She was a grown woman, after all, her dad couldn't ground her.

Honestly, it probably would've been easier to let Joel find you, he knew what to do in these situations better anyway. But she was beyond tipsy, and all she could think was 'Potential killing machine on ship, my fault.' over and over.

That's why she locked the door behind her when she reached her cabin, and why she was now pacing.

Ellie finally slowed and glanced back at you. "Doesn't that hurt?" Her finger switched between pointing at your arm and then your tail.

Confused, you follow her index finger, to find two wounds, one worse than the other. It was like the adrenaline numbed you, and now, looking at the damage brought that pain rushing in. "Fuck— must've happened while you dragged me against your ship."

Ellie winced at your comment. She took a deep breath, trying to clear the fog of alcohol from her mind. "Look, I didn't mean to hurt you," she said, a bit more gently. "I just thought you were a really big fish." She admits, quietly and embarrassed. At that, you let yourself giggle. But your amusement didn't last long when your body decided to remind you of the excruciating pain you were in. You flinched and sucked in a sharp breath.

Now it was her turn to chuckle, just barely, though. "Can you go back out like that?" She asks, and it seems genuine— maybe she's sobered up a bit, you think. "I don't know." You answer honestly, fidgeting your fingers.

"I"m not— Hey, listen!" Poor Jesse, desperately defending himself from his own best friend and girlfriend. "I'm not saying we should just invite mermaids onboard. I'm just saying, hypothetically, if we somehow befriended a mermaid, it'd help us a lot."

"Yeah, or get us killed." Ellie scoffed.

"You know what I mean, dick." He rolled his eyes. "Like, with navigating and—" hiccup "shit."

"Okay, you're drunk." Dina put her hand on his shoulder. "But, I guess, hypothetically, you're right."

Jesse made an 'I told you so' motion with his hands while nodding at the other girl.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Ellie recollected the conversation with her crew mates, chewing on her lip in contemplation.

"Then, you can stay here." She blurted out. This made you look at her like she was the mermaid, and you the pirate.

After a moment of silently blinking up at her, you asked "Why?", a reasonable question, who wouldn't be suspicious under these circumstances.

"We could help each other. I let you stay here, give you food, bandages, and you help us navigate." The offer was tempting, aside from the fact that getting back home in your state would've been a pain, you've also always had a curiosity about humans.

"I just tell you where you to go? Is there some catch?" You ask, still slightly skeptical.

"Nope, these waters are dangerous, and you know them better than anyone else on this ship." She remarks, matter-of-factly.

"Makes sense." You mumble.

"So?"

"So, I'll help."

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tiny exception [pt. 2] - stellaron hunter crew

summary; there's one little exception to the rules of the stellaron hunters...

genre/extra tags; one shot, fluff, a lot of fluff, comedy, children are menaces but it's okay, blade will be punting a kid (/j), rich aunt kafka, silver wolf doesn't know how to handle kids

[platonic] [5-7 year old reader] [gender neutral reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

word count; 615

a/n; finally i have finished the part two of this iconic work bc someone requested it. hope you enjoy!

[rule 1; don't bother blade]

this rule really should be obvious. it really should, but kids don't listen to obvious rules.

"why are you so grumpy?"

"because of you."

"that's mean. you're really mean." you sit right on his lap because you felt stubborn today. "and you're stupid." silver wolf stifles a laugh at the sight before her. you and blade glare at each other as you poke at his face like a cat. "and ugly."

"i think you're talking about yourself." anyone who didn't know blade would think, man, he doesn't like this kid. but from the way he holds you gently and the tiny glint of playfulness in his eyes as he talks to you.

"you're so rude! i'm gonna tell kafka!"

you push yourself against him in a weak attempt to tackle him. he only carries you, hands under your armpits as you struggle in his hold.

"you're a little snitch, you know that?" he holds you like a baby this time as you're still kicking your legs and trying to squirm out of his grip to get a chance to get to kafka.

"because you're a big meanie! a big butthead!"

"yeah, yeah."

[rule 2; don't go in kafka's room]

there wasn't really anything incriminating in there. she just didn't like people invading her space and it was normal. but there's always those little exceptions.

"auntie!" you knock on her door, almost a little too loudly. she does open the door, not really fazed since she knows your loud knocks from anywhere.

"what is it, dear?" she's tiredly picking you up, it's clear that she's had a long day but by aeons, she wasn't gonna let that stop her from caring for you.

"can i sleep with you tonight.." you're a little bit embarrassed. you usually stay with silver wolf as her late night working sessions usually help you fall asleep but you haven't seen kafka in the past few days.

"of course you can. i would never say no." her hand pats against your back, comforting you and starting to lull you into a sleep. she lets you rest your head on her shoulder, humming, "i'll be doing a little bit before we lay down. just sleep, baby."

"i like your room, auntie.. i like being with you." you mumbled tiredly. you rest against her as she sits down at her desk, still holding you.

"i like being with you too."

[rule 3; let silverwolf focus when she's playing her games]

something about children and always wondering what games you got on your phone always has silverwolf reeling away from you when she goes to play her games. it took her longest to get used to your bright presence. honestly, children were not really any of their forte. you were an unexpected (yet expected) part of the crew even if you didn't do much (yet).

she usually kept herself away but today was different. she offered to play with you. as it was almost out of character of her, you immediately accepted. and you played a two player co-op game. she was more focused than you were but you didn't mind.

you weren't doing well in the game as your character died multiple times during this boss battle (that was set to medium for you but co-op gave it more health and different battle patterns). you watched as silverwolf tried her best to pull through.

"you can do it!" you had said in the heat of the moment, but her finger slipped and you both lost. "i'm sorry!"

she's a little bit frustrated being so close to the end but she lets out a tired sigh. "it's okay."

[mangowillow]

perhaps love

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

summary: for as long as you can remember, you have been in love with your childhood friend turned roommate, but jeon jungkook remains oblivious even when he comes to comfort and help you sleep every night.

genre/tags: fluff, friends to lovers, unrequited love, angst, hurt & comfort, mentions of drinking & insomnia

word count: 12.5 k

a/n: no matter how many times i tear this story down, it will always come back swinging. perhaps love was the very first fic i wrote for the fandom and this story means a ton.

For as long as you could remember, you had loved Jungkook with all of your heart.

But the reality is, love seemed out of reach, a far stretch. Not when Jungkook was first and foremost your best friend.

The whole apartment was surrounded by darkness, except for the pure moonlight that seeped through your bedroom window. Your room was your favorite place in the world-- away from everyone, just you and the stillness. You had really bad sleeping habits and your insomnia has gotten worse over time. You tried everything to fall asleep, including hot showers and scented candles. Nothing worked… except for Jungkook.

Jungkook usually played games into the night as his own way to unwind from the stress of being one of the most sought-after graphic artists. When he’s not holding the console, he’s nose deep into his computer or tablet, illustrating his next commission. He just submitted his drafts for his latest client’s marketing kit a few hours prior so he could afford to while away his time tonight. He walked to the kitchen to grab another can of beer when he saw your bedroom door slightly ajar. He padded his way through the hall and leaned against the doorframe, watching your peaceful expression

“Can’t sleep?”

You turned your head in the direction of the bedroom door. Jungkook’s gentle voice that echoed through the quiet of their shared apartment was his other favorite place in the world. 

“It’s always hard.”

Jungkook pushed the door further and went inside. You two had been living together for almost two years and Jungkook already knew the layout of the space like the back of his hand. He set the unopened beer can on the bedside table and went under the duvet with you. It had always been this simple-- it was either Jungkook grabbed an extra beer can and share it with you or coaxed you to sleep entirely. Tonight, it was the latter. Jungkook ran a hand up and down your back.

You felt a pang inside your chest. It was barely there but still felt. Tonight was different, lonelier. You closed your eyes, thinking that maybe this was just how it had to be.

“Tell me what you need,” Jungkook muttered.

“Gguk…” you started. Jungkook hummed, ever so kind, so patient. “Can you help me sleep?”

Years of friendship made words between you comfortable and safe. Your insomnia started right around the time your dance studio was gaining more enrollees and by the end of a year, you already needed to hire a few more dancers and bigger studio space. Jungkook was there to witness all your hard work, sleepless nights trying to perfect a routine you had to teach every week. Jungkook was there to help you through the breakdowns and occasionally had to endure your spats, to which you apologized for with ramen and kimbap. 

You and Jungkook go way back, but tonight it’s just the two of you and your shared present. Jungkook helped you lay down on the bed and your heart swelled . Jungkook lay on his side as he gently guided you to face him. In the calm of the night, you saw stars in Jungkook’s eyes. You willed yourself not to speak for fear of breaking the moment. Jungkook started to caress your cheek ever so lightly, eyes falling close as you reveled in the softness of how Jungkook took care of you. As Jungkook continued to comfort you, he started singing your favorite sleep song.

now playing: watch you sleep. by girl in red

Jungkook’s melodious voice rang through the room with much reverence. You both find yourselves busy in life, but you always, always come back home to each other-- and that thought makes your heart ache so much more. Tonight might be lonely, but you also treasured moments like this when you allowed yourself to surrender, to take pleasure in being with Jungkook. By the time he finished the song, you were already fighting to stay awake.

I want to be with you for longer.  

“What about your game, Gguk?”

“I will play another round before I go to bed. Right now, you’re more important.” Jungkook tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll stay with you for as long as you need me to.”

“Gguk-ah.”

A smirk found its way into Jungkook’s pretty lips. He knew what was coming next.

“Can you stay?”

It felt like the whole room stilled ten times over.

“I mean… just for tonight,” you quickly added, worried you might’ve said the wrong thing too late.

Jungkook gently got up from the bed and walked out the door, leaving you to wonder if you messed up. Yeah, you did , you thought. Was it that easy to mess things up? Was Jungkook really that uninterested? As you listened to Jungkook’s footsteps, you also heard the gameplay music coming from the living room abruptly stop. A few objects were heard being moved around until Jungkook’s footsteps once again became louder. 

Jungkook said nothing as he closed the door to your bedroom, his weight sinking into the other side of the bed. 

Oh, he came back, your mind dumbly said.

It was always familiar, that feeling of Jungkook being too close. You wished it never had to end. Jungkook slid an arm under you and the other caged you in closer to his chest. He dropped a light kiss to the top of your head and picked up where his hands left off— grazing your spine. 

“Are you cold?”

You swore you heard Jungkook smile through his words.

“No. The duvet can cover us both, I think.”

“Hmm. I’ll hold you through the night in case the duvet falls.” 

Jungkook placed another feathery kiss on your forehead. A few seconds seemed to have passed with nothing but comfortable silence, two hearts beating for one another.

“Goodnight, Jungkook.” 

You felt Jungkook’s hold on you grow tighter.

“Goodnight, ____.” 

The morning after was both the easiest and hardest thing you had to face because it was either you woke up to Jungkook still peacefully sleeping beside you or to an already empty bedside. 

This time around, Jungkook was already awake and smiling.

Smiling.

You thought it to be so endearing and cruel of him at the same time. Jungkook never watched you sleep before. 

Chuckling probably because he saw your wide eyes, he asked, “Did you sleep well?”

You shifted before nodding with a small smile. “How about you?”

“Like a baby.”

You chuckled too as he yawned and stretched. You’re so beautiful like this.

“What do you want for breakfast, ___?”

“Do we still have eggs?”

Jungkook nodded, “and bacon, too.”

“Ugh, heaven on earth. I’ll have both, please.”

Jungkook smiled warmly like he was the soft morning light himself, “I’ll whip us some pancakes, too.”

You nodded, yawning a second time. You got up to brush your teeth and do the usual morning skincare routine. As you stared at yourself through the mirror, you thought about how you could feel so content living with Jungkook like this— peaceful with endless possibilities. 

You realized your love for Jungkook on a rainy day when both of you were supposed to try and fly the kites you made over Gwangalli beach in Busan. You remember feeling bummed out because Jungkook put so much hard work into making those kites, only to be destroyed by a sudden downpour. You’d expected Jungkook to be upset as well, but to your surprise, Jungkook pulled you into the pouring rain to dance. He always did that. You thought he was crazy for doing so, but you went along with your fifteen-year-old friend’s absurd idea. 

It was a good thing you let yourself be pulled into pouring rain by Jeon Jungkook… because from then on, your love for him just grew. Blossomed like the spring flowers on a cool afternoon.

You were pulled out from your memories when you heard a phone ring. You quickly finished combing your hair and went out of the room, feeling hopeful about breakfast.

“...hyeong, I’m not sure if this is a good idea.”

It was Jungkook speaking to someone on the other end of the line. He had his AirPods on as he waited for the bacon to turn crispy— just the way you liked it. You sat down across from Jungkook on the kitchen counter and he gave you a small smile, even though his eyebrows were furrowed.

“Okay, fine, fine, I’ll go… I’ll see you later.” Jungkook tapped the right AirPod twice, ending the call. You could tell something was off. 

“Everything okay?”

Jungkook didn’t answer right away as he transferred the bacon onto a plate with paper towels. “Yeah, that was Yoongi hyeong”

“Oh great, are you guys meeting up later?” You tried to make light of the situation, but could already feel the other shoe was about to drop.

You’ve always had that lingering anxiety at the pit of your stomach whenever you were with Jungkook. It co-exists, always present as your love for him. It’s the product of a love unreciprocated.

Jungkook hummed, too concentrated on the eggs in front of him. “Hyeong set me up on a date with someone.”

“Oh…”

Jungkook kept his head down as he cooked, but you didn’t miss how he looked up briefly at you the moment the small surprise left your lips.

“That’s great, Jungkook. Isn’t it? It’s about time you tried dating again.” 

The morning was already starting to crumble right before you could even get through breakfast.

“Yeah, I… I think it’d be fun. I’ll see how it goes.”

You have seen Jungkook’s fair share of dating experiences over the course of your friendship. He never brought anyone home to your apartment, but you almost always witnessed how fleeting his dates were. It wasn’t as if Jungkook didn’t like them, it’s just that he prioritized his work more than the possibility of finding love. The last one Jungkook dated was like a tornado in human form. You remembered how happy he always seemed to be after their dates. He’d tell you about how she made him want to come out of his shell more and that maybe, just maybe she could be the one. You were happy for his best friend then, you always were. But you were also heartbroken seeing your childhood love date other people, let alone look at them differently. You had only met the girl once— and you immediately understood why Jungkook liked her. Kind, charming, and passionate about art and life. An advocate for women’s rights, a cat lover. 

Everything that you didn’t seem to be.

You don’t know how the relationship ended, though. That’s the thing about Jungkook— with you, he was magic and light, wild and full of compassion, but when it came to sharing his feelings, he always had a hard time expressing them. You are as patient as ever though, never pushing Jungkook to emotional places where he didn’t want to be. 

You will always wait for Jungkook. But is it worth it?

“You should really get out of the house, Jungkook. Go and have fun. Your art will be waiting for you here at home,” you tried to smile as Jungkook handed you your breakfast request.

“You sound like you really want me out of the house, ____.” Jungkook teased.

You dramatically sighed, threw in a slight roll of your eyes for good measure, “I just want what’s best for you. You know that.”

“I always know, ____.” 

You will always look out for him. Love him from afar. You will always choose your best friend. You could only wish that Jungkook would choose you, too.

You definitely felt like an idiot waiting up for Jungkook.

You liked to tell yourself that Jungkook’s mystery date didn’t bother you at all, but being alone in the apartment on your day off didn’t help much because you thought about the said date all day long. 

Here’s the problem: You didn’t know you were so bothered.

Well, you, knew why… in a way. But you didn’t like admitting it to yourself because it becomes so much clearer. Jungkook has always been a constant in your life, a friend through thick and thin-- but that’s the issue. Jungkook is a friend.

You heard faint footsteps becoming louder until someone was punching the code to unlock the door— Jungkook was home. You quickly glanced at the clock. It was only 9 pm. He’s home early, isn’t he? What does coming home early or late from a date even mean ? You shook your head rapidly, willing the ridiculous questions away when the familiar melody of the door successfully unlocking rang through the room, and in came Jungkook. You repositioned yourself at lightning speed, pretended to watch TV, and only looked up when Jungkook came into view.

“Hey. How did your date go?” Your eyes flitted back to the screen in front of you, feigning indifference.

Jungkook plopped next to you on the couch and stretched his legs, “T’was good.”

Turning your body to face Jungkook you asked, “How good is good?”

Jungkook chuckled as he intertwined his fingers behind his neck. He didn’t pry his eyes away from the TV, which was showing a variety show about refrigerators.

“We had dinner. Mia was a nice girl, very polite.”

Ah, so the name was Mia. You slowly nodded before tilting your head to the side, revealing a small smirk, “did you have fun at least?”

“I guess it was alright. You know how awkward blind dates make me feel.”

“What makes them awkward again?”

“I’m not sure exactly… It's like I just don’t know how to act around them, let alone know what to say. It’s— I’m not even sure if she had a good time, to be honest.”

“Well, I’m sure he had a good time,” you turned your attention back to the TV but muted the volume. Why was there a face towel inside one of the refrigerators? 

“What makes you so sure, ____?”

You shrugged, “You’re pretty amazing Jungkook. Funny, smart, very attuned to others. I think you just don’t see it because, you know, it’s you.”

Jungkook pursed his lips. The momentary silence between you wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Why are you still up, ____?” Jungkook suddenly murmured. He was still facing the TV, but he had his eyes closed.

You suddenly felt a need to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. When you didn’t respond, Jungkook opened his eyes and turned to face you. “Do you need help sleeping, ____?”

“I really shouldn’t ask for too much, Jungkook. It must be uncomfortable not sleeping in your own bed.”

Jungkook gently flicked a finger at your forehead. You feigned hurt.

“Silly. Come on, let’s get ready for bed. It’s getting late and you have an early class tomorrow, right?” You didn’t even know he remembered your schedule. You let Jungkook pull you by the wrist, leading the way to your bedroom.

Like coming home, you slotted yourself comfortably in between Jungkook’s waiting arms as you both lay in bed. Jungkook rested his chin on top of your head and breathed in your soft, powdery scent. You instantly felt Jungkook relax, all tension starting to ebb away, but maybe it was all just in your head.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I just… I don’t know, I have a long day tomorrow and I need to sleep.”

Jungkook adjusted himself in a way to give you some wiggle room but still held you close. “You don’t have to apologize. I completely understand how pressured you must feel, especially because the dance studio is going through big transitions.”

In your mind, you were thinking of all the ways you and Jungkook just clicked . But there’s that tiny part of you that feels that maybe this arrangement wasn’t the most ideal because for all you knew, Mia might just be a really great girl and Jungkook just needed time to warm up to her. Having Jungkook this close was your dream-- a dream you’ve always kept safe in the recesses of your mind. Now that it’s actually happening— and that it’s been happening for a while now— you crave this closeness more and more and yet, you also feel guilty because you needed to run in the opposite direction. Before things got too painful.

“I can hear you thinking.”

Your body went stiff so Jungkook pulled you much closer as he ran a hand through your hair. He looked at you, eyes soft and half-lidded, your faces too close you felt like something else was going to happen.

But nothing ever happened. Of course. 

He held your gaze a bit longer and you wanted to tell him the truth. Tell him to look at you just this once. But words failed you once more.

“Thank you, Gguk.”

Not a lot of words need to be exchanged. You have been friends for so long that almost all your movements and emotions, no matter how subtle, were easily discernible. You know when Jungkook is having one of his creative blocks because he becomes irritable. Jungkook knows that you can sometimes be too hard on yourself when it comes to dancing, so he cooks your favorite bibimbap as a way to ease his stress. You and Jungkook just know how to comfort one another.

“My silly darling,” He never called you that before, but you could almost hear Jungkook smile as he uttered it. “I want to be here.”

If your heart suddenly stopped, you hoped Jungkook didn’t notice. I want to be here, he said. With a languid smile on your tired face, you succumbed to the pull of sleep, hoping your dreams about Jungkook would never end.

“You already picked the last movie, ____.”

“Fine, we can watch one of yours.”

Jungkook’s bunny smile reappeared and your heart grew ten times its size. After eating dinner, you both decided to watch a movie. After all, it was a Friday night and neither of you had the energy to spend it outside with other people. You watched as Jungkook flicked through the movie choices until he finally settled on a Marvel movie. 

You were already halfway through the movie when the doorbell rang. You and Jungkook looked at each other, both of you surprised because you weren’t expecting anyone at this late hour. As you shrugged your shoulders, Jungkook got up to answer the door.

You decided to pause the movie because you didn’t want Jungkook to miss anything, but doing so made it clear that the sudden visitor was actually Yoongi.

The location of the door wasn’t too far off from where you were sitting. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop either, but you couldn’t help but wonder why Jungkook didn't let Yoongi in.

“Mia told me about your date. I don’t understand, Jungkook, you both said you had a great time, so what’s the problem?”

Oh, they were talking about Jungkook’s date. At this hour?

“I don’t know, hyeong. I guess it never occurred to me to call her so quickly after a first date. Did you come all the way here just to ask that?” Jungkook was a fairly mellow person. Almost never irritable with anyone but himself, just very patient even when you could see how other people were already pushing his buttons.

“I think Mia really likes you, Gguk-ah. You should call her. I also came by to bring you back some of your art supples because you left them at the studio yesterday.”

You heard plastic rustling. Jungkook didn’t answer right away, not until his voice lowered, almost sounding like he was pleading.

“Let me think about it, hyeong. Please?”

Yoongi sounded a bit exasperated, “Fine. How’s ____?”

“She’s fine. We were actually watching a movie,” Jungkook was back to his usual tone of voice, but clipper. 

“Oh, that’s nice…”

“Would you like to join us? We still have a beer in the fridge, I think.”

“No, I just… I was just about to go home and thought I’d stop by to give you your things because I already had them in the car, but uh— yeah. Maybe some other time.”

It didn’t register with you right away that Jungkook had Mia’s number. Whether Jungkook asked for it or the other way around, they still exchanged numbers. There was a chance of a second date. You didn’t notice the lump forming in your throat as you came to realize again that Jungkook wasn’t yours. You had no right to think this way about Jungkook and his love life. He lives his own life, free to date anyone, anytime. 

You weren’t supposed to hear this conversation either. The feeling of impending dread slowly crept up on you. All you knew was that whatever you were feeling right now is something that shouldn’t even be happening.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you saw Jungkook return from the corner of his eye. You suddenly lost all strength to continue the movie. Without even thinking, you pulled yourself up to your feet with the intention of going back to your room. Maybe sleep would do something to dull the ache.

But then you remembered you had a hard time doing that, too.

Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. You held out hope for a minute there— hope that maybe Jungkook would tell you he was sorry, but then again, what would he be sorry for? He shouldn’t feel sorry for anything, especially not your feelings. 

The sadness was starting to fester through your bones again. You had to get out of the living room, away from the one person who could make you feel better. Wordlessly, you let your feet take you to the bedroom and quietly shut the door. 

Jungkook never tried to pry nor force you to explain anything to him. He was always the understanding one, always the one who gave you your space when you needed it, even when you were being cold to him.

That’s the thing with Jungkook— he knew exactly when to be there for you. Except for this time around, not even Jungkook’s presence can heal an unknown emptiness that you don’t even recognize yourself.

Nine-year-old you never really liked the first few hours after school because that meant you had to stay and wait until your mom picked you up. School grounds can get pretty lonely, especially when all the other kids have already gone home. Young as you were, you found it funny that both you and your mom ended up closing shop every day— you closing school grounds, while your mom closed the register at the grocery store where she worked. 

What nine-year-old you hated the most was when you had to wait after school while it rained because you couldn’t walk around the courtyard and play. 

You hugged your knees as you rocked yourself back and forth watching the rain splatter on the cold, hard ground. Of all days, you forgot to bring a jacket and you were starting to shiver. It was only four o’clock in the afternoon. Your mom wouldn’t arrive until six. 

Just after you let out a big sigh, a boy came running in your direction carrying an umbrella. Strange. No one but you usually stayed at school this late. 

When the boy reached the stairs and closed his umbrella, he shook off excess water from his already wet hair, causing a few droplets to splatter all over your face.

“Oops, sorry about that.”

The boy gave you his widest smile as he continued to catch his breath from running too fast. You usually saw this boy walk along the school hallways, always surrounded by his friends. You were also clubmates in dance.

“My name’s Jungkook. We go to dance club together.”

“I know...” You replied as you rested your chin on top of your knees again.

“You dance really well, I wish I could be as graceful as you… anyway, what are you still doing here?” 

“I’m waiting for my mom. She usually picks me up, but she has to finish her job at the store first.”

“Oh, okay. How long do you still have to wait for her?”

“Probably a few more hours,” you didn’t mean for your tone to be somber, but you couldn’t help it. 

As much as you love your parents, sometimes it can get quite lonely.

“That might take forever!” Jungkook’s eyes grew wide but you found it amusing. Most people would just say ‘oh’ and move on. Or maybe pity you.

“It’s no big deal, I’m used to it already.”

“Well, do you want to grab something to eat first?”

While you knew Jungkook meant no harm, you still wondered why he was offering all of a sudden. What was he even doing here?

“I don’t think—”

“My driver Mr. Hong-sik is parked right outside near a hotteok stand. Let’s go buy some!”

You hesitated because you weren’t supposed to leave the school grounds until an adult came to pick you up but at the same time, you were really hungry. 

“What do you say?”

“Do you promise that we will go back here after buying?”

Jungkook was already nodding, his smile growing wide again upon hearing the possibility of you giving in to the idea of hot hotteok. 

“Yes, of course. Mr. Hong-sik will take care of us, don’t worry. Besides—” Jungkook opened his umbrella, droplets of rain splattered across your face again, “—this umbrella is big enough to fit us both.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

It would only be years later when Jungkook admitted to you that he had known for a while how you spent your days alone after school and that he wanted to keep you company. 

When you were seventeen and Jungkook fifteen, the school dance team won an award. You both celebrated by eating ramen and ice cream at your mother’s grocery store. 

When you and Jungkook went to college, you decided to share a room together because you both got into SNU. Over the years mishaps had happened, you both cringed at each other’s disaster dates, and cried when you had your hearts broken by careless people. Through the highs and lows of life and love, you and Jungkook were a team. 

Now that you are twenty-six and Jungkook twenty-four, you continue to conquer the world together.

Except that you never expected to slowly fall for the boy who accidentally splattered water on your face twice and shared his umbrella.  

“Yah— stop eating all of the danmuji!” Taehyung playfully snapped as he chewed on his jajangmyeon. 

“I already told you to order extra, but of course, you didn’t listen again,” you replied, happily chewing on the kimchi.

“I totally forgot, okay? Let me breathe,” Taehyung pouted. “It’s not every day when little kids come into the studio and wreak havoc during hip hop class.” You chuckled at your best friend’s whining and placed a piece of danmuji on top of his noodles. Taehyung looked to you and mumbled his thanks.

You were sitting with your legs sprawled out on the dance floor of the dance studio. Both of you just finished your separate intensive classes and were fueling up for the next set this afternoon.

“I heard Jungkook went out on a date,” Taehyung isn’t really one for dilly-dallying. Always straight to the point. 

“Yoongi told you, huh?”

“Of course. The man could never hide secrets from me. Not in our household.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Jungkook did go on a date,” you didn’t like where the conversation was going, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop Taehyung from asking further either. A part of you wanted to talk about it with someone. 

“And how do you feel about that?” Taehyung shoved a piece of kimchi onto his mouth and waited for your answer.

You started to re-arrange the toppings on your plate, trying to avoid eye contact all of a sudden, “what do you mean?”

“I know you, ____. You can’t hide from me.”

You chuckled at your best friend’s blunt nature. It’s one of the things you liked most about him because you were the opposite— always caring, understanding, nice. You put others first before yourself because that’s who you are— the reliable friend. You know Taehyung means well and is just looking out for you, too.

“Do I have to answer your question?”

“You don’t have to, but I can tell it’s bothering you. You didn’t even notice that I took the last piece of chicken just now—”

“YAH!”

Taehyung snickered, “But seriously, you’re quiet than usual. Does he still help you sleep?”

“He does.”

“And he hasn’t said anything beyond that?”

“What is he supposed to say?”

Taehyung shrugged, “You tell me.”

“We’re friends, Taehyung. There’s nothing else to say” You let your shoulders sag. You’re surprised at yourself that you’ve been holding the tension in. 

“After everything—” Taehyung paused and bit his bottom lip, trying to carefully choose what to say next, “Did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason why he volunteers to help you sleep is that he likes you too?”

“Stop putting ideas into my head.”

“I’m not, but I do want to point out what you can’t see, ____. I’m your best friend— Jungkook is, too, but with us it’s different. I don’t feel the urge to jump you every so often, ah!---” Taehyung earned a playful smack from you, “Look, all I’m saying is… you and Jungkook have been friends for a really long time so why don’t you just talk to him?”

You started to argue, “It’s not that easy. It might ruin our friendship.”

“But how else are you going to get past this?”

“Take my feelings to the grave,” you expressed glumly.

“So dramatic. And very, very difficult for you to bear all on your own.”

“I’m scared, Taehyung. What if things become awkward?”

“Will Jungkook really let it come to that? He’s your best friend. If he says he doesn’t feel the same way, the more important thing here is you. You and your heart— because at least in knowing, you can finally move forward. Date other people without the what ifs.”

You seemed to mull over Taehyung’s words. 

“I’m not forcing you to ask him. At the end of the day, you get to decide. I just want you to be happy, ____. Always.”

“I know, Taehyung-ie. Thank you.”

You came home that night to Jungkook passed out from exhaustion on their couch. He still had his eyeglasses on, his apple pencil caught in between his fingers. His iPad was on top of the coffee table and you assumed that Jungkook rushed yet again another commission for a client. It was still early— 8 o’ clock. You wondered if Jungkook had already eaten. You draped a blanket over him and adjusted his head on one of the pillows into a more comfortable position. The movement slightly jostled Jungkook awake. With half-lidded eyes, he gave you a sleepy smile.

“Hi ____, you’re home.”

“Hmm, I am.”

“How was class today?”

“Excellent. Did you get to finish that commission?”

Jungkook yawned, “Barely... ”

You reluctantly caressed Jungkook hair, fingers gently rubbing his scalp. As soon as you did, his eyes fell closed. 

“Have you eaten, Gguk-ah?”

“Not yet. I was waiting for you.”

“You didn’t have to. What if I came home really late? You can’t miss your meals.”

“You’re here now, aren’t you?”

You chuckled as he mumbled, “Brat. I’ll whip us up some kimchi kimbap and ramen. How does that sound?”

“I’d love that, thank you.”

“You can sleep more. I’ll wake you up when dinner’s ready.”

“I can help you—”

“Stay put. I’ll be quick, okay?”

Jungkook nodded as he watched you disappear into the kitchen. You prepared all the supplies needed to make dinner and as soon as you started chopping the kimchi for the kimbap, you heard Jungkook’s soft snores. 

Suddenly, all of your fears ebbed away. Emotions were a funny thing— the fondness you had for Jungkook overtook your whole being everytime you looked at him. Sometimes you want to feel angry at how Jungkook seemed oblivious, but then again… he isn’t really a mind-reader. You have always been affectionate with each other and you wondered where people drew the line between friendship and love. What happens when one catches feelings? What happens to both of you if a confession was the way to settle things once and for all? The stakes were too high— confessing your feelings for Jungkook might make him pull away. What happens to the friendship built over the years? If you were lucky, maybe Jungkook might love you, too.

You were in a bind and you didn’t like that.

Jungkook slept on the living room couch, tired from the day’s work. You both make meals for each other. You sleep together on the same bed. Shouldn’t life with Jungkook be this easy? 

And obvious?

After twenty minutes, dinner was ready. You woke Jungkook up and he devoured the simple dinner over stories of your classes and his ideas for the client’s project. 

This friendship is simple. Light. It is a life well lived between two childhood friends that began with a shared an umbrella and hotteok. You wished it was always this uncomplicated. 

Jungkook helped you sleep again that night. Not a lot of words were shared because you were honestly exhausted and just when you thought you didn’t need cuddles, Jungkook went into your room and laid on your bed, not uttering a single word. He only wrapped his arms around you and breathed in your cotton scent. 

“You’re always helping me, Jungkook.”

“Is it working? Are you sleeping well?”

“I am, thanks to you.”

“I’m glad. I’m really glad, ____.”

All is right in this world, all is well with us this way, you thought before you gave in to the pull of sleep for another night. 

You woke up to the sunlight and an empty bed. Muffled sounds could be heard from outside the bedroom.

“Mia’s kind of annoyed that she gave you his number but you still haven’t called her”

“I know.”

“Is this about ____? Is that why you haven’t—”

“I don’t know, hyeong, it’s too early to have this conversation.”

Yoongi came into view as soon as you reached the kitchen. His back was turned to you and it seemed like he was cooking pancakes. Jungkook was sitting on the stool by the counter and had his back to you. 

“Oh, good morning, ____,” Yoongi chimed.

“Good morning.”

Jungkook poured you a glass of orange juice, “Slept well?”

You didn’t have your words yet so you just nodded. Even with Yoongi busy with the stove, you felt the tension that made itself known so suddenly around the kitchen.

And for some reason, Jungkook decided to throw out the trash, leaving you and Yoongi alone for a while.

“How are you, ____” Yoongi asked as he gave you a serving of pancakes, egg, and bacon. The last thing you expected was to wake up to breakfast prepared by a visitor sprinkled with passive confrontation.

You sipped his orange juice again before replying, “I’m doing well. Dance classes are picking up.”

“I’m glad… and Jungkook?”

“What do you mean?”

“How is Jungkook… and you?”

It was way too early for this conversation.

“I need you to be a bit more specific about what you really want to ask me, Yoongi.”

Yoongi was met with an almost deafening silence. You knew that apart from him, Jungkook confided in Yoongi the most. He knew most of Jungkook’s dating escapades and with that, his heart aches too. Yoongi is Jungkook’s fiercest protector, you are well-aware. You understand how he tends to be confrontational especially when it came to Jungkook’s feelings. 

Because they go way back.

In all honesty, you were terrified of Yoongi knowing about how Jungkook had been helping you sleep, but you didn’t know why you were scared. Yoongi is your friend too, after all. 

Maybe because you wanted to keep such intimate moments with Jungkook for yourself. Something that was yours, and yours alone. Unfortunately, you had a gut feeling Yoongi knows a lot more than he’s letting on.

“Jungkook just started dating again, ____.”

“I’m all too aware. I don’t think I’m going to be a problem.”

“It might be if Jungkook helps you sleep every night.”

And there it is.

“We’re just friends, Yoongi. I’m not expecting anything from him.” You felt your heart sink to your feet, trampled on. Yoongi knew. 

But why was frustration rising up in the back of your throat?

“Are you sure you’re not expecting anything?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Tension, tension, tension. You hated it.

“You had your chance once, ____, and you walked away. It’s not fair for you to do this to Jungkook again.”

And there it is. The word again .

You swallowed the lump in your throat, lightly tapping the glass of juice with your fingers, willing for the tears to retreat back to where they came from. You cannot afford to cry in front of Yoongi. Or Jungkook. It was too goddamn early.

You did not sign up to have your memories, your insecurities, and your reality laid bare on the kitchen counter. 

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. Jungkook is my friend. He always will be.”

Vulnerability wasn’t your strongest suit. You weren't your emotions’ best soldier, either. You wanted to yell at Yoongi, shout at him for even implying that you were getting in the way of Jungkook and his dating life.

“Jungkook cannot date freely if he always has to think about coming home to help you sleep,” Yoongi’s words cut like a knife, making you wince. “You know he deserves better than that. You deserve better than that.”

You have very blunt and straightforward friends, and although they keep you grounded, sometimes you hate how they can casually talk to you about your feelings. Sometimes you think they forget that your sunny disposition can also be sometimes moored by rain and storms. 

“I’m sorry, ____. That was too much, I—”

“No, Yoongi, it’s okay,” tears have already fallen and you hastily wiped them away, “You’re right, it was my fault. I’m the one who got us into this mess. I’m the one who has the sleeping problem, I’ll— I’ll figure something out, maybe get checked or something…” You kept your eyes glued to the untouched food in front of you. Throat burning, fresh tears threatening to fall once more.

Yoongi’s words stung— but he’s also right. The pain of the unspoken truth you try so hard to push down every day come rising to the surface and you are powerless to stop it. 

Yoongi opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it the moment he looked over your shoulder. Your stomach churned because your worst fears weren’t done with you yet— Jungkook was standing by the door.

“I think it’s time for you to leave, Yoongi hyeong.” The only time you heard apparent hostility in Jungkook’s voice was years ago when someone attempted to jump you at a party. Jungkook is always kind, but when irritation, let alone animosity, takes over, he becomes a completely different person. 

All you knew was that Jungkook and his girlfriend in tornado form are over.

The music blaring from the speakers were too loud, everyone was all over the place— Jungkook, Yoongi, Taehyung. It was Jungkook’s idea to get wasted at a club. You didn’t always agree with Jungkook’s coping mechanisms, because you knew he was a terrible drinker— someone who couldn’t hold his liquor well. 

But he was heartbroken and what do good friends do? Let them cry and wallow.

But right now, it was time to go home. You called a cab for Yoongi and Taehyung, while you and Jungkook got into another. It was a good decision that you didn’t bring your own car. You wouldn’t have any other choice but to drag Jungkook’s drunk ass to the passenger seat and you weren’t sure you could manage that.

You were thankful that Jungkook could still manage to walk, even if he needed to be physically supported by you. You both fumbled for a bit as you closed your apartment door behind you.

“Alright, you big baby, take off your shoes.”

Jungkook did as he was told, but you could tell his body was about to give up on him so you hastily walked him to the bedroom.

You heaved a big sigh after Jungkook collapsed into the mattress. You could hear Jungkook’s breathing slowly steady itself and you honestly thought he was asleep.

“Are you dead?”

When Jungkook didn’t move, a playful smirk painted your lips and you shook your head. You leaned in closer to fluff Jungkook’s pillow, when his head suddenly turned to face you. 

With eyes half-lidded, you thought Jungkook looked beautiful underneath the sliver of moonlight shining through the bedroom window. He reeked of alcohol and smoke, but you didn’t mind. You couldn’t help but hold his gaze.

Hesitant fingers reached up to trace the skin on your cheek. Jungkook blinked once as he ran gently ran his fingers from the corner of your eye to your chin.

Jungkook’s voice was so soft, you almost didn't hear him ask, “Why don’t you like me, ____?”

“What are you talking about, of course I like you.”

Jungkook shook his head, “That’s not what I meant…”

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. You reminded yourself that Jungkook was intoxicated. He wouldn’t remember this tomorrow. He might not even know what he is doing or saying right now.

“Why can’t you love me, ____?” Jungkook swallowed the lump forming in his throat, “because I have loved you for so long and you won’t even look at me.”

You wanted to cry, but you didn’t exactly know why, “That’s not true, Jungkook.”

“Then prove it, ____.”

“I don’t know how.”

Jungkook, in a way, helped you. With eyes focused on your lips, he slowly lifted his head to graze your mouth with his own. When he finally kissed you, your head was spinning that you had to use your arm for support to keep you up.

Jungkook mustered up all of his remaining strength to sit up on the bed to kiss you properly. He cupped your face with his hand and you did the same. Under the same moonlight, you and Jungkook started to take that one step closer to finally acknowledging what has been there all along.

But in your head, you didn’t know what you want.

Lips separated, letting the both of you breathe. Jungkook touched his forehead against yours before his lips planted a light, lingering kiss there.

Your heart sank even deeper and you fought the tears that were about to come.

Because even though you really loved Jungkook, you and he were at the right place at the wrong time.

The next morning, you and Jungkook weren’t the type to dance around each other. He did remember what happened last night.

“I need to know, ____. I need to know what you want.”

“I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

Jungkook nodded, but you didn’t miss the flash of sadness that passed through his once hopeful eyes. 

“Are we still friends at least?”

It took all of you to nod your head in agreement. It was better this way.

“Of course we are.”

“Then that’s all I want, ____.”

Just as Yoongi closed the door behind him and it was just you and Jungkook in the now tense atmosphere of the apartment, confusion flooded you. Dread soon followed upon realizing what had just happened. 

You were holding Jungkook back and it’s all your fault. All because you still couldn’t decide what you really want. 

When Jungkook finally locked eyes with you, his gentle gaze made your heart flutter. You don’t deserve it, you thought. But you were allured by it-- so easy to get lost in the sea of Jungkook’s beautiful, observant brown eyes, like they were meant to see right through you, heart and soul. Your face slowly morphed into a pain Jungkook didn’t recognize, a sadness he hasn’t seen before. Your bottom lip began to quiver and before you knew it, you full-on sobbed into your hands. Just as quickly as the collapse of everything began, Jungkook was swift on his feet, taking you into his arms. 

Jungkook embraces you tightly, his breathing controlled in an effort to curb your sobs. You could hear Jungkook’s heartbeat and it was an odd source of comfort despite the distress you were actively feeling. You felt Jungkook’s large hand stroke your hair in slow motion, chin resting on top of your head as if trying to silently tell you don’t cry.

Being with Jungkook felt like drowning and coming up for air all at the same time— your constant, but also your poison. Yoongi was right, Jungkook deserves to be happy after you blew your chance to tell him how you really felt. 

You loved Jungkook, but you had to let him go because he doesn’t deserve to be with someone who cannot make up her mind. When you said no to him a year ago, you thought it was the best for the both of you— Jungkook was hurting and he kissed you because he was drunk and in pain. Not because he loves you. You thought that maybe after some time had passed, what happened that night would just be a distant memory between two friends who had a momentary lapse of judgment.

You have to let him go because it’s the right thing to do, the only way to save the friendship you built over the years. You once saved it, you cannot mess up again. It was selfish, yet so selfless.

When you finally calmed down a little bit more and your breathing slowed, Jungkook loosened his grip. You immediately felt the distance once more, but it was as if Jungkook heard your thoughts because he only pulled away to wipe your tears with his thumbs. Jungkook’s hands cupped your face for a while longer, staring into your teary eyes. Jungkook mumbled an apology as he pressed his forehead with yours. As he closed his eyes, you received a glimpse of Jungkook’s sadness without words. 

Loving Jungkook isn’t supposed to be painful.

Jungkook had to meet a new client so that meant he needed to leave the apartment. You could tell it was difficult for him to leave you all alone in the apartment, but Jungkook only asked if you were going to be okay.

You struggled to leave home that day, but you had to because if you didn’t get out and teach dance, you would continue to drown in your own suffering. You both left the apartment with nothing but your unspoken words and broken hearts.

Jungkook would find himself running late for his meeting and he arrived home to what he thought was a dark, empty apartment. Trodding down the hall to your room, he was mildly surprised to see the door was slightly ajar. Lying on the bed was you. Sleeping.

Jungkook quietly entered the room and knelt down by the side of the bed. Staring at you, with the moonlight shining down on your face, you looked serene— a stark contrast to the chaos that transpired earlier that day. Your lips were slightly parted and Jungkook found himself smiling at the sight. He gently ran his knuckles down your cheek. He did that for a while, just intentionally watching and helping you sleep even more peacefully in the gentlest way. Jungkook was thankful that you didn’t seem to be aware that you weren't alone. 

You kept your eyes closed as you reveled in the softness of Jungkook’s touch. You initially thought you were dreaming of Jungkook kneeling beside you because after all, the sleep gummies seemed to knock you out enough to fall asleep without him this time. But you realized it wasn’t a dream.

Jungkook came home.

The ache in your heart returned, but at the same time, you wished this moment of Jungkook comforting you never ended. Because at least you could have Jungkook like this.

“Will you stay still, ____? I’m not done yet.” 

You pouted as you watched Jungkook draw a bowl of ramen on your leg cast. You injured yourself while attempting to do a tourner for an after-school ballet class. You and Jungkook were now in university and renting an apartment together. Your leg rested on Jungkook’s lap while you both sat on the living room couch. Jungkook slightly had his tongue out while he colored in the ribbons and you scoffed.

“Are you done now?”

“You don’t rush art.”

“Yeah but I’m hungry and I think my leg is asleep.”

Jungkook smirked, “Your leg being in a cast doesn’t really have a choice given the circumstances, what did you expect?” You smacked him with a pillow, “You asshole, give me my leg back.”

“Ow! Nuh uh. I’m almost done.”

You huffed, feigning annoyance. But you were actually endeared with Jungkook’s enthusiasm to draw a different object on your leg cast every week. The moment you got out of the hospital and after Jungkook fed you some jjampong, he carried you to the same living room couch and drew the yellow umbrella he used the day you bought hotteok. The following week, it was a sketch of a person dancing ballet which Jungkook referred to as, “the loveliest ballet dancer in the universe.” This week, it was ballet shoes hanging on one side of the backrest of a chair.

“There, done!” Jungkook slightly pulled away to admire his work then he turned and gave you his dorkiest smile. You could never ask for more.

Weeks passed as you and Jungkook fell into usual routine. You can no longer recall since when you started having a hard time communicating feelings. It wasn’t like you and Jungkook fought a lot because you almost never do. But there’s always that elephant in the room that neither of you choose to address even though it’s already staring back at you both.

On Jungkook’s birthday, Taehyung decided it would be good for you all to spend your time at a club after having dinner. From the get-go, the people in attendance were the birthday boy, Taehyung, Yoongi, you, and Mia.

Needless to say, you were awkward and in pain the entire time.

It was your first time to actually see Jungkook pay attention to someone else in a romantic way. Although he and Mia have yet to put a label on anything, they continued to date, much to your misery.

At the birthday dinner, you tried your best not to look at Jungkook and Mia the whole time, but by some strange magnetic force, everytime you unconsciously looked at Jungkook, his eyes found you.

Come to think of it, Mia was the clingy one the whole night. But maybe you were just misinterpreting things. When Taehyung suggested they go to a club, you internally groaned. Not only was this a repeat performance of what you did wrong a year ago, but it was also like salt being rubbed on a wound that never completely healed well. 

“Fuck it, let’s get wasted,” you thought. You weren’t about to let your misery ruin a fun night.

So much for that, though. You couldn’t even pay attention to your drink because Mia was already trying to get too close to Jungkook. The whole time, Jungkook’s expressions were unreadable. One of his many stupid traits, you sarcastically thought. 

You don't know exactly what happened after— Jungkook went to the bar to order more drinks for the table, followed not too long by Mia. She was relentless in flirting with Jungkook who seemed stoic and indifferent and awkward. Mia must have been really bad at reading people. Still, she didn’t give up that easily because she dragged Jungkook to the middle of the dance floor and tried to get him to dance. 

Maybe you just wanted to see what you wanted to, but if you really were in the right frame of mind, you swore you saw Jungkook finally give in and dance with her. 

Jungkook was having fun with someone else on his birthday. This is what he deserves— to be happy and free. Jungkook doesn’t have to sacrifice his time just to help you sleep every night. 

You felt like you were about to throw up. The room started spinning and suddenly all you could hear were muffled sounds of the music bass. Before you knew it, you were making your way to the exit. You needed to get out. You faintly heard Taehyung calling out to you, asking what was wrong but the tightness in your chest demanded much of your attention. 

When you reached the exit, you pushed the door all the way with all your might and started to walk. You were relieved for once that you weren’t able to drink a drop because you needed a clear head to get home safely. The club was a short distance from the apartment and all you wanted to do was lie in bed and cry yourself to sleep. 

It has been weeks. Weeks of skirting around Jungkook, acting like nothing was amiss. It worked for a while, but you knew it would backfire eventually.

You didn’t think this plan of ignoring feelings would fail you so soon. You thought you were stronger.

Your hands were shaking so badly that you struggled to enter the correct passcode to the door: 090197.

You cursed at the irony. 

Not bothering to turn on the lights, you stumbled in the dark and took off your heels. You went straight to your room and collapsed on the bed. You let the tears stain his pillow. This isn’t new to you now— crying. It somehow helped you sleep, anyway. Right now, you don't care if you cried your eyes raw. You were hurt, in pain, and you didn’t know what to do.

Nights felt like an eternity for an insomniac like you. Your thoughts were your biggest enemy in the dead of night and most of the time you are powerless to control them. You shouldn’t have allowed Jungkook to help you in the first place. Otherwise, you wouldn’t find yourself in this predicament. You’ve already kept your distance before, why did you fail again now? You should’ve known your place, the order in this world. You were Jungkook’s best friend, and you decided that for the both of you that day you told him you were sorry.

Ruminating thoughts can be a bitch because it makes you oblivious to your surroundings in real time.

You suddenly felt the other side of the bed dip. You heard sheets rustle and felt a different kind of warmth-- the kind that only your best friend could give.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around you and breathed in your scent. In the silence of your room, Jungkook, once again, came home to you.

Both of you didn’t speak for a long while, just listening to each other’s rhythm. You felt your bottom lip quiver— you were on the verge of crying again and as you started to sit up and perhaps leave, you felt Jungkook tighten his grip as he clasped his fingers together, securing you in place.

“Please don’t cry.”

You swallowed and tried to reply, but your voice cracked instead, “Why are you here, Jungkook?”

“I want to stay here with you.”

“It’s your birthday.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Then why?”

“Like I said, I want to stay here with you.”

Like wildfire, your heart swelled even when your brain told you not to fall for Jungkook’s words. That you were only reading too much into things, “What about—”

“I told them I wanted to go home because you already did. I turned around to look for you because I heard the barista said there were french fries, but you weren’t at the table anymore.”

Tears started to stream down your face and you were grateful you weren't facing Jungkook. 

“I hate being the reason why you always cry, ____. I have done absolutely nothing to make things better for you and I keep making you feel sad.” Jungkook’s voice was laced with tight emotion and it was something you were hearing for the first time. Jungkook buried himself deeper in the crook of your neck.

“It hurts so much, Jungkook.”

Lifting his head, Jungkook moved in closer to whisper in your ear, “I know. I know. I’m so sorry.” 

You breathed a deep sigh as you willed away the tears. Right on cue, Jungkook gently turned your body to face him. “That’s better,” Jungkook gently smiled, pushing strands of hair away from your face.

With Jungkook’s right arm under your head and his left engulfing you in an embrace, you curled into Jungkook’s chest. No matter what pain you may be feeling, it all dissipates once you’re with Jungkook. 

“I am so sorry, ____. I’m sorry I keep running away.”

You let a small smile take over his lips, “No, Jungkook. You don’t have to apologize. All of this is my fault”

“It’s not… it’s not your fault. It’s mine,” you saw Jungkook swallow. You looked over Jungkook’s shoulder, at the clock situated on top of the side table. Thirty minutes left until Jungkook's birthday ends.

“It’s still your birthday. You shouldn’t be spending it apologizing for something you didn’t do.”

“I am enjoying my birthday because I haven’t lost you yet. And it is my fault, stop fighting me.” Jungkook smiled. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Especially under moonlit skies.”

“I don’t think so. Not yet.”

“Then allow me to tell you now. You’re beautiful. The most beautiful person inside out and I am so lucky to have you. Thank you for not leaving me.”

You scooted closer to Jungkook, trying to fill in all the spaces in between. 

It was almost a whisper and you almost didn’t hear it, “Sleep well my silly, beautiful darling,” your eyes flutter close as you felt Jungkook give you a kiss on your temple— a reassuring one, this time. 

“Hey.”

You jumped at the sound of Jungkook’s unusually low voice. “Shit,” you mumbled, earning a pretty smile from Jungkook. “How long have you been standing there?”

The smile didn’t leave Jungkook’s face as he apologized and said with all honesty, “A while.”

You have been spending more late nights in the studio since you and Taehyung started offering additional classes. You held a beginner’s ballet class for children after school hours and you felt you had to spend more time thinking about their routines. Kids need structure, lest their attention becomes too difficult to get a hold of. Jungkook, being the sweetest, always stayed up to wait for you to get home and eat dinner together. 

This time around, Jungkook decided to pick you up from the studio.

You took in the sight of Jungkook who was leaning against the door frame, wearing a cream oversized sweater and white pants. Even in the dimly lit room, Jungkook’s handsome face was radiant.

Seeing him feels like coming home.

Jungkook walked up to you with his hands in his pockets, “I always get caught up in your world whenever I watch you dance. That hasn’t changed.” He was suddenly standing so close to you that you had to clear his throat. Yet you didn’t pull away, either.

“Time passes when that world is not working in my favor,” you said as you rolled your shoulders backward.

“Is this the ballet class for the kids?” 

You hummed in response, “One would think it’s easy enough to make a routine for little kids when really, going back to basics sometimes is the hardest thing.”

“What did you use to tell me?” Jungkook asked warmly, all innocence and love, but you recognized that tone of his. 

“Jungkook—”

“Help me remember, ____. How did we do it back then? When we couldn’t figure out a new routine,” you heard the heels of Jungkook’s white chelsea boots clatter against the wooden floor as he stepped away a bit from you.

You were taken back to your days in the dance club with Jungkook, the two of you in a smaller studio after school practicing for competitions. You and Jungkook were the group’s best dancers and that also meant you were almost always tasked to come up with new choreography. You recalled how you and Jungkook used to practice no matter how long it took. 

Right now, at this very moment, as Jungkook gently urges you to remind you of those days, you appreciated what he was trying to do.

“I’d always tell you, ‘I’m tired, I don’t want to do this anymore,’”

“Hm, and how did I respond?” Jungkook’s eyes never left your face and his voice was so low, that it sent shivers up your spine.

“You’d tell me we didn’t have to do the things other people ask us to dance… not right now.” you breathed as Jungkook’s face inched closer to yours, so close that you could already hear Jungkook’s heartbeat. 

“And then?”

“We’d dance. For ourselves, together.” 

Just as the words escaped your lips, Jungkook slightly pulled away to take his phone out of his pocket, scroll through a playlist, the very same playlist Jungkook uses whenever you both lounge around on a Sunday morning. He found the song he was looking for and pressed play.  

Jungkook put his phone back in his pocket and whispered, “We dance. For ourselves, together.” He wrapped an arm around your waist while his other hand trailed down to hold your own, intertwining both sets of fingers. Falling, you easily melted into Jungkook, your worries about the ballet routines already forgotten.

With bodies pressed close, you felt your heart plummet to a deep dive into your stomach, leaving butterflies as it burst into a million pretty pieces. Jungkook was never one for sweet words, always choosing to convey his thoughts and feelings through his art. He had given you plenty of his work over the years, drawn on crumpled tissue papers or on the back of receipts. Always in all honesty quietly telling you he was there for you no matter what.

And through dance, he was the same— loving, thoughtful, yours. 

“It has been a while since you last danced, right?”

Jungkook leans his forehead into yours, his eyes focused on the floor. He hums his response as he starts to lead the dance.

“It has been a while since I last danced with you,” Jungkook whispered. “Dance with me so I remember, my love.”

You close your eyes, resting your chin on Jungkook’s shoulder, “Remember what, Jungkook?”

“Help me remember everything good about you and me.” 

And although Jungkook couldn’t see it, you smile as you tilt your head to the side. You let Jungkook lead the both of you to the melody of the music for a good few minutes until you fell into a slow, swaying rhythm. 

“I missed dancing with you like this,” you swore you felt Jungkook tighten his hold around your middle a little bit more. Jungkook dropped a kiss to your bare shoulder and said with all reverence, “I miss you, ____.”

He misses you, not missed. You never wanted to let him go. 

You didn’t want to stop touching Jungkook so as you continued to allow your feet to be led by him, you ran a trail using your hand from Jungkook’s shoulders, landing on his chest. Jungkook ran his own hand at the expanse of your back, waiting, waiting. 

“And I miss you too,” you said with a smile. Jungkook cupped your face and ran a thumb to your cheekbone. Never leaving your eyes, he responded, “It’s always a pleasure to dance with you, ____.”

“I always seem more eager to dance when I’m with you,” you said. 

And I always love dancing with you.

“That’s because we know each other’s moves well. We’re in sync no matter how long it’s been.”

Tentatively, you respond, “Maybe we should do it again… more often, this time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’ll dance with you forever.” 

You and Jungkook went home that night and slept once more in each other’s arms. You noticed a change this time. You felt peaceful, more hopeful. Jungkook didn’t say anything definitive, still, but maybe his heart did. 

And you fell into a quiet sleep as soon as Jungkook kissed your temple. This time, his kiss was more intentional, more heartfelt, like he never wants to let you go.

Not again. 

You woke up the next morning still reeling from the dance you shared with Jungkook. Always the romantic, you thought as you shook your head. Usually, Jungkook was already up and about before you even opened one eye, but life continues to surprise you. 

Jungkook was sitting on the bed, drawing on his iPad. You couldn’t believe it at first— you rubbed sleep out of your eyes and looked at your own phone for the time. It was 8 o’clock and Jungkook was drawing.

The minute you moved, Jungkook was attentive. He stopped drawing as he turned to you to mumble a good morning. 

“Good morning to you, too. What are you doing so early in the morning?”

“Oh, I woke up earlier—”

Cutting him off, you teased, “You always do.” 

Jungkook chuckled, the crinkles in around his eyes so evident, so endearing, “Yeah. Um… I just— the morning light through the window was just so beautiful and I had to draw it.”

“You drew a sunrise at 8 o’clock?”

You rolled your eyes as Jungkook said matter-of-factly, “Actually, 6 o’clock… but no, I didn’t draw the sunrise, not exactly.”

“Then what did you draw?”

Instead of responding, Jungkook gave you his iPad. You realized Jungkook drew you. Jungkook used digital watercolor brushes to paint a picture of you sleeping with your bedroom window behind you. Sunlight accentuated the side of your face, expression tranquil. 

“It’s not finished yet, I need to fill in some of the—“

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook.”

“You always say that, ____.”

“Because your works are beautiful. Every single one of them,” you couldn’t stop admiring Jungkook’s work. You felt your throat constrict once more, emotions starting to take over. This isn’t the first time Jungkook drew you, but it’s definitely the first time you felt something different after seeing his art— a love that continues to blossom, a love for Jungkook that never withered. For the past few weeks, you felt like you were slowly coming to terms with you and him being just best friends, but after last night, you were starting to backslide. 

You will always love Jungkook no matter what— you know that now. Maybe not in the way you want, but Jungkook will continue to have a special hold on your heart that no one else can replace. 

“Thank you for this, Gguk-ah. Can we print and frame this? When you’re done, that is.”

“Of course, ____. I’m glad you like it.”

One of the things you and Jungkook appreciate about the apartment is the silence because it’s never an awkward one. In silence, you’re both comfortable— awkward and pain and everything else in between. In the shared space, you and Jungkook are free to love one another.

In silence, you also hear each other’s hunger. You giggled as Jungkook turned beet red. After all these years of living together, Jungkook still tended to be embarrassed around you. One of the many adorable Jeon Jungkook traits that you love.

“That’s my cue to make breakfast.”

You stood up and ran a hand through your hair before pocketing your phone. Jungkook didn’t move an inch. You didn’t think much of it, but just as you were about to walk out the door, Jungkook called out to you and scrambled to his feet. 

Mornings with Jungkook more often than not are calm, but when you saw Jungkook walk up the short distance to where you were standing, his gaze so strong, your heart began to race. Because you were standing too close to each other, you felt Jungkook take a deep breath before uttering the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“Don’t leave me.”

At first, you thought you heard wrong. A few seconds later your brain told you that maybe it was Jungkook’s way of saying that he wanted you both to stay in bed a little while longer because after all, it was a Sunday.

But then a third thought came to you, the most dreaded one— what if?

“S-say that again.”

It was physically impossible for Jungkook to get even closer to you. The wide smile drawn on his face made all the difference.

“Don’t leave me.”

Like a bucket of cold water doused on you, you couldn’t believe what Jungkook was really trying to tell you. Your childhood best friend, the man of your dreams. The one person who will move mountains for you without being asked is trying to tell you something you longed to hear.

“Say that again… o-one more time.”

Tears threatened to flow from your sparkling eyes and Jungkook was quick to hold you small face in his hands, “____. Please… don’t ever leave me.”

You struggled not to cry so much upon finally understanding what Jungkook was really trying to say. You wanted to respond to Jungkook’s plea, but all that came out was a sob. Jungkook peppered your face with soft kisses down to your jaw. You found yourself holding on to Jungkook, grip like a vice. You don't want to let him go. You will never. 

Not again.

You tried your best to properly respond this time, “Don’t worry, Gguk. I will never, ever leave you.” You ran your knuckles down Jungkook’s face, “I was just going to make us breakfast because you’re hungry.”

Jungkook laughed at how you could still manage to make an intimate moment so endearing. He held your wrist and kissed the palm of your hand before leaning in to finally kiss you full on your lips. His kiss was tentative at first until he decided to be bolder, silently asking you to let him in. You readily gave Jungkook access to kiss you even deeper. Like wildfire, heat spreads throughout your body— this is what it feels like to kiss Jungkook without reservation. This is what it feels like to kiss your best friend, no holds barred.

Overwhelmed with affection, you felt yourself being lifted by Jungkook and your legs automatically cling to his waist. The position gave him an even better angle to kiss the person he has longed for almost all his life, “How long, Jungkook? How long have you really liked me?”

You didn’t think Jungkook would immediately understand what you were trying to ask, “Since that day I asked you to dance with me under the rain.”

Jungkook saw the look of recognition in your eyes. He knew you knew what he was referring to. “I have always been in love with you, ____. I just… I was so scared of you rejecting me that I thought it was best if I kept my feelings to myself. I tried dating other people because I thought maybe that would help me get to know others better.”

And as if Jungkook could read your mind, he kissed your forehead before talking again.

“I don’t regret kissing you that night… I was drunk, but I was sober enough to know and remember what I said. We broke up because she told me I was always distracted. I always thought of you everywhere we went. She told me I never really moved on… that I still call out your name even when I was with someone else. When you told me no then, I knew it was my fault for not thinking things through. It was my mistake that I didn’t communicate with you better, ____. I’m sorry.”

You didn’t have a lot of words to respond with, not after that speech from Jungkook so you only asked ever so meekly, “And Mia?”

“I told her we were better off as friends. She took it quite well than I expected. I think deep down, she knew too.”

“Knew what?”

“That I was undeniably, irrevocably in love with you.”

“Do you really have to use big adjectives?”

Jungkook shrugged and chuckled, “Makes for good conversation. I’m trying to communicate better, remember?”

It was your turn to chuckle and lean your forehead against his. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, ____. I put you through so much pain and I just let it happen.”

You shook your head, wanting to let Jungkook know this wasn’t all on him.

“If anything, you have always made me so happy, Jungkook. I don’t get to show you how much all the time.”

“Can we start over?” Jungkook looked at you, full of hope.

“I would love that.”

“I love you, ____.”

My best friend in this entire world, whom I love.

“I love you, too, Jungkook.”

My best friend in this entire world, who loves me back.

Your hotteok was already paid for by Jungkook before you even had the chance to pay for it yourself. “It’s all taken care of,” Jungkook said.

Both of you were already hungry from running so you decided to eat right there under the hotteok stand. You could see a black car parked across the street and assumed that it must be Mr. Hong-sik. You both ate in silence for a while, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain until you felt Jungkook tugging your sleeve.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come on, ____”

“Where are we going?”

“There!”

You looked to where Jungkook was pointing with his finger. There was nothing there but the school.

“You want to go back to where we came from?”

“Not really. School is boring,” Jungkook mused and before you knew it, you were being pulled in the middle of pouring rain.

“What are you doing, Jungkook? We are going to get wet!”

“We already are, ____! Come on!”

You both had to shout over the steady noise of the rain. You realized Jungkook wasn’t kidding— he was really under the rain, in the middle of the school’s wide, open space, waiting for you to join him. 

“You are insane, Jeon Jungkook!” you shouted, but he just grinned that much harder. He took both your hands and led you to jump and dance in the rain.

“Maybe I am, but it’s fun to dance in the rain with someone else!”

You felt so glad to be living the same time with someone as Jungkook after that day. 

The day you will forever be grateful for.

[lomlhwa]

better grades (c.yj)

pairing: professor!yeonjun x student!reader

preview: you're failing yeonjun's english class. you decide that, instead of studying and putting in more effort, you'll try a different way to get better grades.

tags/warnings: fem reader, power dynamic (sir is used), spanking, reader getting bent over yeonjun's desk, he's a little mean, degrading (kinda academic degrading oops), monster cock yeonjun, panties used as gag, overstimulation, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie

trigger warnings: sleeping with your teacher isn't great but this is college and everyone is an adult

wc: 1.2k

song recs for this fic: teacher's pet by melanie martinez, lolly by maejor, hot demon b!tches near u by corpse

a/n: if i was in yeonjun's class, i also would be failing because i would NAWT be able to focus

midterm marks have just been posted. the very thing you’ve been dreading all semester. you reluctantly open your student portal and check your marks. you’re passing every class except for one. english. a whole 35% in that class.

how are you expected to pay attention when your teacher is choi fucking yeonjun? the hottest teacher in the school. there’s no way anyone is passing his classes. yes, he’s a good teacher but no one can do anything but just stare at him. 

you close your computer and sigh. you don’t want to try harder in his class or study. you’re not the type of person to study for a class like english. but, you need this class to be able to graduate. you’re paying to be in this class.

you lay your head on your arms, collapsing onto your desk. “what am i gonna do?” you ask yourself. after a few moments of brainstorming, you come up with the perfect idea. 

you rush to get ready, knowing there’s only a few hours left of yeonjun’s office hours. you put on your school uniform faster than the speed of light and book it out of the house.

as you reach the school building, you slow down, catching your breath. you smooth your skirt down before knocking on your professor’s office door. you hear a soft ‘come in’ from the other side so you wander in.

“ah, y/n, how can i help you?” he asks, taking his glasses off his face. you smile at him before responding. “um, i just wanted to ask you about my grade, mr choi,” you pull up a chair next to him, folding your hands in your lap.

“i see. let me just pull up the teacher portal really quick,” he says, putting his glasses back on and typing swiftly. “y/n y/l/n…” he says, scrolling through the class list. “ah, here you are,” he clicks on your name. he tuts at you. “you’re failing my class, miss y/n,” he peeks at you over his glasses.

“i know, that’s why i’m here,” you gulp. he turns in his chair to look at your properly. “what are you gonna do to get this 35% up to the passing minimum? you have less than a half semester to get your grade up at least 20%, you know that?” you nod and he shakes his head. “how are you planning on doing that?”

“well, um, you know i’m not the type to study,” you shift in your chair, your skirt riding up. you watch his eyes dart down and back up. “and you know i’m not the type to hand in late assignments,” you undo the top two buttons of your blouse, not breaking eye contact. “i was hoping there was some extra credit i could do for you,” your voice is breathy but yeojun’s stoic expression never changes.

you can see all of his options flash over his eyes. he knows that sleeping with a student isn’t exactly moral. but, you’re just so pretty so who is he to turn down your advances? “i think there is something you can do for me,” he smile mischievously at you. “anything.”

he gets up out of his seat, staring down at you. “get up,” yeonjun orders. you jump out of your seat as if it’s on fire. he gives you a small smirk before forcing your body to bend at the waist and pushing your face against his desk. 

“you want extra credit? take what i give you,” he reaches under your skirt and pulls your panties down your legs. “step,” he says and you step out of your underwear. he leans over to see your face. “open that pretty mouth for me,” you open your mouth slowly and he stuffs your panties into your mouth. “be fucking quiet.” 

yeonjun flips your skirt up and runs his hand over your now bare ass. “so pretty,” he mutters. the sweetness is quickly replaced with pain when he strikes your ass with a hard spank. “how dare you fail my class,” he says, his voice is deep and raspy. he lands another hard spank before speaking again. “you sit in the front of the fucking class and you’re still failing?” he tuts at you again. “you’re fucking pathetic.”

you hear his belt clinking behind you as he takes it off. he doesn’t bother to take his pants and underwear off, only pulling them down to his mid-thigh. yeonjun runs his finger up and down your slit a couple times. “you don’t need prepping, right? you’ll just take it like a good girl,” he says, lining his length up with your hole.

yeonjun just stays there for a few moments, letting the anticipation build up inside you. you’re practically dripping down your legs at this point. without warning, he slams himself into your cunt, down to the hilt. his large size has you wanting to scream. you let out a small shriek that was thankfully muffled by your panties that were so lovingly shoved into your mouth earlier.

you can feel your stomach swell with his cock buried deep inside you. he draws all the way out of you before slamming back inside. you bite your panties so hard you worry you might bite a hole in them. he continues to thrust at an excruciatingly slow pace for what feels like forever.

randomly, he starts slamming into you at an animalistic pace and you grip the end of his desk so hard your knuckles turn white. your jaw goes slack and the makeshift gag threatens to fall out. your walls clench and and unclench rapidly, signaling that your high is approaching. “do you think you deserve to cum? with that grade?” you hear him sigh fakely. you nod your head desperately, barely being able to feign off your orgasm.

“you want to cum on your professor’s cock? hm? make a mess for extra credit?” he takes your panties out of your mouth so you can speak. “yes, please, sir, i need it,” you beg. his own orgasm is rising quickly with seeing how fucked out you look. 

“cum then, slut. earn your passing grade,” with finally earning permission, you let your orgasm wash over you. your whole body trembles and you try to catch your breath. his pace never falters and you start kicking your feet around. “i can’t… take anymore,” you bang your fist against the table, fighting off loud shrieks. 

finally, he reaches his high and finishes inside of you. you feel full instantly, your cunt milking him of his cum. when he pulls out, cum pours out of you. you breathe heavily, struggling to get up off the desk. you grab your panties and put them back on, having to walk back home full of cum. 

you head for the door and watch as yeonjun pulls his pants back up and sits down at his desk. “i’ll see you in class on monday, y/n,” he says, opening his laptop. you nod and head back to your dorm.

the next day, you check your student portal again. you open your english grade and smile. 60%. finally passing. 

© lomlhwa 2023

[cerastes]

One of the fundamental aspects that helps carry Bocchi as such a genuine article is that Bocchi herself is at neither extreme of the competence scale.

In a lot of these “Main Character has immense insecurity issues and social anxiety”, you have a main character that REALLY doesn’t have anything going for them except their ‘pure heart’ (they are kind to others and that’s it) or they are actually a huge wellspring of untapped potential that just needs that little extra push in order to flourish.

There’s positive messages to be gleaned from these, for sure, like “sometimes being yourself is enough” and “you are so incredible, you just don’t know it, you can do anything”, which, while definitely something that can be That Event or Realization that helps someone overcome something, I think ultimately fails to account for the, perhaps, more worldly, more realists out there that don’t need to hear that for the one hundredth time, because the previous ninety nine times didn’t really do it for them, kind of how like “fake it till you make it” works for a lot of people, but also doesn’t for a lot of others.

If anything, I think one could glean something else from this: Unless I’m naturally a very kind person who’s always willing to put themselves down to get others over and can show genuine heartwarming kindness, or a genius waiting to bloom, just so incredibly good and skilled at something or various things that that cements my worth, I’m shit out of luck. And let’s face it, extreme purity is more of a negative in the real world than a positive, because people will kind of just walk all over you if you let them, plus you’re likely not a lot of fun if all you got going for you is “I’m Nice :)” without something else to compliment it, like being funny, knowing interesting things, etc. On the other side of the table, it is ultimately a very utilitarian view to consider someone awkward, eccentric, and otherwise different likeable only because they are incredibly good at something or some things, a Rudolf the Reindeer situation where his red nose makes him an ostracized freak right up until it’s actually useful for others and has a practical application.

It’s here where I think Bocchi subtly nails it: She’s at neither end of the stick. Bocchi’s only real skill to speak of is that she’s good at playing the guitar, but that’s because she’s actually been diligently playing for years now, has a successful ‘Tube channel, and explicitly enjoys playing the guitar both as a hobby and as a pressure valve; one of the early gags is that when overwhelmed with negative thoughts, she’d channel that right into composing a melody to play with her guitar, which she abandons after a few episodes when she’s a bit more comfortable with the people around her. Besides that, it’s explicit that Bocchi isn’t particularly good at other things, and we know she’s kind of ‘creepy’ in the endearing, eager way, the photos thing with her room being less that she’s a maniac and more that she’s very very stoked to have friends, for example, which she then reigns in when her mom tells her “hey, sweetie, that ain’t it”.

Everything Bocchi does is ultimately very consistent with who she is presented to be: She doesn’t just magically do a 180 turn just because she’s technically doing everything she set out to do, Bocchi is still a naturally anxious, negative person, and that’s fine, and her friends aren’t oblivious to her being like this (the gang being oblivious to the MC’s anxiety is a recurring thing in the genre!), in fact, they are fully aware and many times they say “oh is Bocchi having a Moment again?” or “ok I know where to find her, we need to look in a place where creatures like Bocchi, such as slugs, can be found”, they are fully aware that Bocchi is like that, but they like her anyways because, much like the audience, they think she’s fun to be around. Her being a good guitarist isn’t even why they stick by her, since she was actually bad at playing guitar with a band initially, only adjusting later, but even during this period before she adjusted, the rest of the band is like “oh no yeah this our guitarist Bocchi and we love her, she turns into a creature now and then and gets attacked by birds for no reason and it’s really funny, we’re going to store love in her”.

Bocchi isn’t exceptional in either a pathetic or successful way, she’s just Bocchi and she has friends that she likes and that she likes, and in the end it’s not really about “fixing” her as much as it is just making the band work out and having a good time while seeing that through. The only ones you could say are out to truly make sure Bocchi has a great opinion of herself are Kita and Kikuri, the former because that’s just how she is, and given how loving she is, she would like for Bocchi to see herself as someone actually cool and funny, the way she sees her, and the latter because Kikuri herself used to be pretty negative and never really got through it properly, relying on heavy alcohol binging instead to get in a good state of mind, and initially really wanted Bocchi to just enjoy playing music as an artform regardless of her skill.

All of this helps the dynamics feel not like we’re supposed to be backing a bland MC that is less a main character and more a vehicle to see the cooler rest of the cast, not like a Rudolf the Reindeer situation, but instead, helps it feel like we’re just seeing people that like being friends, being friends and hyping each other up or messing with each other because that’s what pals do.

[midnightwriter21]

THE PAST, THE PRESENT, & THE AFTERMATH~ Muichiro x Reader Series

The Past Pt 2~

characters: Muichiro x Reader, Yuichiro

warnings: swordsmith village spoilers!! blood, injuries, implied character death

AN: not a lot of muichiro x reader action in this one! but i can promise some reallllll angst in the next one hehe

word count: 815

pt 1

That night Muichiro rolls out the extra futon that they keep for you right next to his, while you fill a basin with water in case anyone needs a drink during the night. It’s hot, so Yuichiro decides to leave the door open so that the air would circulate throughout the house while you all slept. With all preparations for the night finished, you lay down to go to sleep.

“Good night, Yui. Good night, Mui.” You say to both boys, barely hearing their mumbled responses before falling into a dreamless sleep.

It isn’t but a few hours later when you wake up to the feeling of being stared at. When your eyes peel themselves open, you look around the room, finding Muichiro standing at the basin of water you had filled and Yuichiro sitting up straight in his futon. Both boys have their eyes trained on the silhouette of a person standing in the open doorway. You turn your head and your eyes lock with the figure.

The man’s- no. The monster’s gaze makes your blood run cold.

 Standing tall with a twisted grin that can only be described as absolutely ferocious, it speaks, “Just a couple of brats, huh?”

Its voice is low and raspy, and the words that come out next send a chill down your spine, “No matter… food is food.”

For a moment, it was as if time itself had frozen. The four of you all staring at each other. Then, in a matter of seconds, all hell breaks loose. The monster, that you now recognize as demon, raises a clawed hand intent on bringing it down on Muichiro. You scream his name in terror, the attack hits, but it hits the wrong brother. Yuichiro leapt in front of Muichiro taking the hit full on. The attack sliced his arm, separating it completely from his shoulder, and from the force of the attack the severed arm flew across the room, hitting the wall with a sickening ‘smack’ and slinging blood across both you and Muichiro’s faces.

Screaming in horror, Muichiro grabs hold of his injured brother attempting to pull him away from the demon, you leap from your futon grabbing onto the fabric of Yuichiro’s shirt to help. Together, you and Muichiro back yourselves and Yuichiro into the far corner of the room.

Your mind races with panic. With your backs to the wall there is nowhere for you to go. Nowhere for you to hide. Yui is bleeding out fast. There is nothing you can do except wait for your inevitable demise at the hands of the demon.

It raises a clawed hand once again, releasing a chilling laugh at the terrified expressions plastered across your faces. Thinking quickly, you push Muichiro and Yuichiro forward, before throwing yourself to the side just as the demon launches its attack. Muichiro and Yuichiro land on top of the futon from the force of your push, and the claws of the demon lodge itself into the flesh of your shoulder as you scream in pain.

At your pained cry Muichiro picks himself up off the futon to look at you. The sight of your now blood-soaked shirt and tear-stained face along with his brother being on the brink of death releases something in Muichiro. Something he had never felt before. A loud sorrowful yet rage filled yell releases itself from his throat as he launches himself at the demon, knocking it off of you and ripping its claws from your shoulder.

When the claws dislodge from your shoulder, the bleeding worsens. Large amounts of blood spurting from the wound. In fear, you can do nothing but watch with wide eyes as Muichiro takes on the demon. They struggle against each other for a moment, before Muichiro knocks the demon out of the front door. However, the demon has quite the grip on the youngest twin, pulling him outside along with him. At first, you shakily stand to follow them, intent on helping the boy. But a pained groan stops you in your tracks. Looking down at the futon you had pushed the brothers onto, you see that the once white sheets are now stained a deep red.

For a moment, bile bubbles up your throat, begging to be released at the sight, and then you snap into action. Shakily standing from your place on the floor, you shuffle your way to Yuichiro’s futon, ripping the blanket from the floor and pressing it to the bleeding stump that was his arm. You hear screams, grunts, and what sounds like tree branches snapping from the ongoing fight outside, increasing your already growing concern for Muichiro. Making a split-second decision to help Muichiro, you tie the blanket as tight as you can around Yui’s arm to stem the bleeding.

But as you stand, your own blood loss finally catches up to you…

And everything goes dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@aeolia18 @sunandflame @ethereal1l @cloudymistedskies

~if you'd like to be added to the tag list for the next part pls lmk~

[cosmicstarlatte]

Beel A-Z Smut HCs (Obey Me!)

⬅Back to Smut HC A-Z Masterlist ◇

18+ only, minors do not interact.

My personal headcanons using this [prompt list]

The goal is to finish the whole list; you are welcome to request a letter so I get to it faster. I will work on it as quick as I can but keep in mind I do have a life & responsibilities lol. ^^

Last Updated: Oct.1.2023 (6 out of 26)

⚠️Notes: I'll tag any sections if needed. If you think a section needs a tag, kindly let me know.

A: Affair (Describe an extra-marital affair)

B: Birthday (Describe birthday sex)

C: Compliments (Mid- and post-sex compliments)

D: Dry Humping (Describe a dry-humping scene)

You only went into the kitchen for a snack & you somehow ended up pushed against the counter with Beel dry humping your ass. Still, the gentle(?) giant wouldn't let go of the devil croissant in his mouth & managed to swallow it with another bite. "Mmph. Sorry. C-couldn't resist." You moaned as you felt his cock twitch against you, desperately wanting more. His arms were wrapped easily around your waist. "C-can I?" He asks as he continues grinding & a hand slipped to reach for your waistband. "Beel what if someone walks in!" You whined yet still pushing up against him. He swiftly pulled your bottoms down, "...it'll be really quick."

E: Experimenting (Trying something new)

F: Firsts (First time having sex together)

G: Gentle (Describe gentle/loving mid-sex gestures)

H: Handsy (When they can’t keep their hands to themselves)

I: Initiator (Who initiates most of the time? How?)

J: Jealous (“Claiming” a partner)

K: Kitchen (Describe a sex scene in the kitchen)

L: Likes (What they like in the bedroom)

M: Morning (Describe morning sex)

N: Never (Things they would never try)

O: Orgasm (Describe coming--who comes first? What do they say? How does the other person know it’s approaching?)

You're always going to cum first about 90% of the time. The only exception really being if you decide to just give him a blowjob. Anyway Beel's a giver, he loves to eat, we know this already! He could stay eating you out for hoursss. He's the type to say thank you & ask for more when you cum on his tongue. He tells you how delicious you taste.❤️ Now if he's cumming, you know by the sudden gasp and low groan he always does, always pushing himself as deep as he can go & you always eagerly await the big load this giant gives you. :3

P: Playlist (A playlist for getting down and dirty; will probably include a lap dance song, a song for making love, and a song that represents their sex life)

Q: Quiet (Reaction to a quiet partner)

He doesn't really feel one way or another about it, he's just a big teddy bear that loves to make love with you.🙂 Of course the few sounds you do make when he stuffs his massive cock in you does turn him on, he prefers to see the pretty sexy faces you make as he fucks you senseless. ^^

R: Ruttish (Signs that they’re horny)

Beel has his moments & he can be blunt. If you're dating, he'll tell you & ask, respectfully, if you want to fuck lol. If you're not together quite yet... well, he's going to be a little clingy & you'll notice him smelling you a lot more often like some tasty snack he can't wait to have. He'll have a flushed face & somehow eat more than he already does until something is finally done about it.

S: Safe Word (How often is the safe word used? Why?)

T: Teasing (Who’s the tease in the relationship? What do they do? How often?)

U: Undressing (Strip teasing a partner)

V: Videos (Sending NSFW videos to each other)

W: Wedding Night (Consummating the marriage)

X: XXX (What kind of porn does the person watch? How often?)

He's not too picky & usually finds whatever is on the first page or two of a porn site. Sometimes he will look at food porn but tbh it's a lot more distracting & he always ends up feeling hungry after it. He doesn't really watch it that often & prefers to imagine his own little scenarios in his head.

Y: Yawn (How they sleep post-sex)

Z: Zoo (Their animalistic qualities in the bedroom)

tags: biting, breeding He's a biter, he loves to mark you in so many ways. Some are soft bites & others are harder love bites. He loves to leave his scent on you!!! Also sorry if he does get just a little rough, he can't help it when you look so small, all he wants to do is breed you. He loves doggy & the mating press, please let him go wild with you ♡

[supernovasilence]

Narnia headcanons: characters + how they take being sick

Peter: baby. Absolute needy baby. He's sick and he's miserable and everyone needs to feel sorry for him and take care of him. Will put on a good face in public because he knows the High King has to project strength and security but with family and friends he's just absolutely Suffering. The only time he's stoic is when he's seriously injured and doesn't want to scare his siblings (but then they're scared anyway because they can tell it's serious). Also so bad at not scratching scabs, bug bites, etc. All his siblings learn how to automatically say "Peter, don't scratch" whenever he has something they know he's going to pick at.

Peter: *absently starts picking at a scab*

Edmund, chucking a pillow at him from across the room without looking up from his book: peterdon'tscratch

Peter, indignantly: I wasn't!

Susan: the only one of the lot who acts halfway sensibly when sick. As long as she has a good supply of books and tea she will settle down and rest, though she does have a tendency of ignoring when she's starting to get sick. Running Narnia is a full time job; she can't afford to rest today, but tomorrow, or the day after, things will be quieter, and then ofc they never are. The others learn to watch when she starts getting extra snappy, because it means she's feeling bad and muscling through it, and they need to take some of her work off her hands so she can be convinced to go rest

Edmund: Thinks he'll enjoy the chance to lie around doing nothing but gets restless within a day, and then is grumpy and sulky. Like Susan, has a tendency to push himself when he starts getting sick, making it worse in the long run, except he's better at hiding it

Lucy: goes back to running around doing stuff the instant she starts feeling better, and then is worse again the next day. This happens every time and she never learns. Her friends/family make sure at least one of them sits with her when she's sick so they can make sure she stays in bed (imagine Mr. Tumnus playing her lullabies and telling her about all the magical sights and scenes they'll go see once she's better but that means resting first or the Beavers chattering away to her or Susan reading to her or Edmund telling her increasingly wild tales about what's supposedly going on in Narnia without her and occasionally physically sitting on her out of purest duty as an older sibling (Lucy: I can murder you without leaving this bed!) or Peter insisting he has to leave the busy everything that wants the High King's attention right this moment because he has an important matter to attend to and the important matter is cuddling his little sister and promising she can get out of bed soon or poor confused Caspian distracting Lucy by letting her teach him the rules of those hand-clapping games (a 30-second wikipedia dive also leads me to believe rock-paper-scissors would have made it to Britain by the 1940s))

Caspian: probably that one person who never gets sick. Even when a bug's going around and everyone else is hacking and snotty and miserable, he's fine and everyone hates him. The few times he does get sick, it's randomly in the middle of summer when no one else is sick and he hasn't gone out in the rain or done anything differently than usual and no one gets how he's sick now. Caspian is quietly melodramatic and just. resigns himself to death. Guilt trips people into taking care of him almost as much as Peter, except that he's not actually trying. Peter finds it very unfair people are sympathetic to Caspian and not to him

Eustace: whiny whiny baby and hypochondriac that convinces himself he's dying. Is lucky the internet has not been invented yet because he would end up on webMD, certain he has everything

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 [𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘]

PAIRINGS — Violet Bridgerton x fem!Reader [Modern!AU]

SUMMARY — Reader calls Violet for a favour on her day off.

WORD COUNT — 2.8K

WARNINGS — none

NOTE — Getting to find out more about Reader in this chapter! I hope you all enjoy :)

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑿𝑰𝑰𝑰: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑱𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹

Violet was not particularly used to getting calls from you on your days off. At the moment, they were few and far between and often you would use them to rest and disconnect, so when a call came through, there was a large chance that it was an emergency. 

This time, when your name flashed across the screen along with a photo that was courtesy of Hyacinth, Violet assumed the worst. You had both been working nonstop for the gala, among other things; the situation with Landon’s arrest was heating up again, as if it already hadn’t caused enough trouble.

What she was not expecting, however, was to hear multiple screaming children on the other end of the line when she picked up. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“No one is dead if that’s what you're asking,” you said. “Yet.” 

“Where in the world are you? I can barely hear anything,” Violet tried to listen past the noise on the phone. 

“I can get into the details later,” you said. “And I’m so sorry to call you like this, but I really need a favour.” 

“Text me the address, I’m coming,” she nodded. 

“But you don’t even know what the favour is,” you said, a hint of disbelief in your voice before turning around and yelling, “Oi! Don’t eat that! It’s not food!” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m coming. Text me,” she repeated and hung up the phone, getting herself ready while you texted her the details. 

She let Gregory and Hyacinth know she would be out for a bit and got in the car, punching the address into her GPS before being on her way, until she reached a home in a part of London she didn’t frequent very often. 

When she knocked on the door, you opened it, looking exhausted. 

“Don’t ask,” you shook your head and she nodded, trying to bite back a chuckle. 

“What’s the situation?” she asked, noticing the house was much more quiet than when you had called. 

“Well, I’ve got them distracted with the telly for a moment, but that won’t last forever.” 

Violet peeked into the living room and noticed at least ten children sitting there, watching some sort of CBBC program. 

“I feel like I’ve stepped into an alternate dimension,” Violet looked back at you. “What on God’s green earth is going on?” 

“Every couple of years or so, I do all of my friends who are parents a favour and look after their kids for a day. They book spas or stay at home and sleep for 24 hours. I don’t know, the point is it's their time to relax, and my time to be an auntie. Except in the past few years they’ve been shagging like bloody rabbits,” you muttered. “And now there’s ten of them and one of me.” 

“So, you needed an extra pair of hands,” she said. 

“And eyes, ears, and another mouth to yell wouldn’t hurt,” you sighed and placed your palm against your forehead. “I am great with one or two, maybe three. Five last time was pushing it, but then two of them had to have bloody twins and-” You cut yourself off and took a deep breath to calm down. “I’m in over my head, Violet.” 

“Okay, while they’re still distracted, let’s make them something to eat,” she said. “Have they eaten yet?”

“Not since breakfast,” you shook your head. 

“And any dietary restrictions?” 

“Jackson is celiac but other than that the rest of them will eat dirt if they have the chance,” you placed your hands on your hips. 

“Come on, we’ll figure something out,” she placed a hand on your arm, pulling you towards the fridge, opening it and taking a look at what was inside. 

When you had decided what to make together, you felt a tug on your shirt, causing you to look down. 

“Auntie.”

“Yes, my dear,” you put on your best smile and gave your attention to your niece. 

“Who’s that?” she pointed to Violet as the rest of the kids followed along. The youngest at two years old, toddling along until he could be picked up by you. 

“This is my friend, Violet,” you explained. “She’s going to be hanging out with us today. Can you guys introduce yourselves?” 

Each of the kids took turns in a fairly orderly manner, telling Violet their names, until only the shy two year old was left. 

“And this is Raj,” you smiled and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. 

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Violet smiled. “Are you guys hungry?”

“Starving! Auntie hasn’t fed us yet,” Thomas said. 

“It’s kind of hard to feed ten of you when you’re all running every which way like little gremlins,” you teased. “But don’t worry, Violet makes very yummy food and she knows how to cook for lots of people.”

“Really? How come?” Mina asked. 

“Well, I have eight children,” she said. 

“Eight?!” they exclaimed and she chuckled. 

“Yes, eight,” she nodded. “Plus my husband and I made ten.”

“Wow, that’s a big family.”

“It certainly is,” Violet agreed. “Now, who here likes to cook?”

A few of the kids raised their hands and she encouraged them to come with her and she began explaining what would be for lunch and how they could help her prepare it. 

You took the rest of them into the living room and attempted to keep them occupied with some sort of game, but it was hard for you to participate with Raj climbing all over you. 

It was much to your relief when Violet came in saying lunch was ready, and all the kids ran to the table to sit at a plate of food while you took a moment to breathe. 

“You alright?” Violet asked, coming next to you and placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“I’ll survive, it’s one day,” you sighed and pushed yourself up while Violet wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her side. 

“They’re quite cute,” she said. “Do you see them all often?”

“Not all at the same time, but fairly regularly,” you chuckled. “Raj and Mina’s mum is the friend I told you I made on those trips I took in first year. Jackson, Thomas, Lillian, and Peter’s dad was in the same program as me for undergrad. Kira and Zoe’s mum and Paula and Ian’s dad were from my master’s. Is that ten? Did I forget anyone?”

“I think that’s ten,” Violet laughed and rubbed her hand up and down your arm. “You should eat something while you still have the chance, I’ll keep them occupied at the table.”

You nodded your head and gave her another grateful look before going to the kitchen while she went to the dining room. After you made yourself a sandwich, you came into the room and watched from afar as Violet engaged the group of children in extensive conversation, giving everyone adequate attention and making sure everyone had a chance to share. 

You supposed being a mother for her was like riding a bike, once it was learnt, the instinct never went away. Her kindness and compassion had always shone through, but it seemed to spill from her smile, or in her touch, as she took a napkin to wipe some food off of Zoe’s face. 

“Violet, do you have any funny stories about Auntie?” Ian asked.”She says we’re too little to know any of her funny stories.”

“Hmm, let me think,” Violet tapped her finger on her chin in an exaggerated pose until she had come up with something appropriate to share. “So, my youngest daughter, Hyacinth, and my son, Gregory, were having an argument,” she began. All of the children had their eyes on her, waiting for whatever details she would reveal about you and you desperately hoped it wasn’t something you would get teased about for the foreseeable future. 

“What were they arguing about?” Lillian asked. 

“Believe it or not, who could make the best smoothie,” Violet said. “They argue about everything, but your auntie was there and she saw them talking and very clearly told them that they were both wrong, because she could make the best smoothie. Naturally, they asked her to prove it and after getting all of the right fruits and juice, she forgot to put the lid on the blender.” The children’s eyes went wide. “And the fruit went everywhere. All over the kitchen, Hyacinth, Gregory, your auntie. It was a mess.”

“Is that why you said no to smoothies today?” Kira asked, and you nodded your head while taking a bite of your sandwich, making the kids laugh. 

They finished eating their lunches and before long chaos had enveloped the house once more. 

“Maybe we can play a game?” you tried to suggest to them over top of all their running around and screaming. 

“What kind of game?” Jackson asked. 

You pursed your lips and adjusted Raj who was on your hip. 

“What about a game with knights and princesses and dragons?”

“Dragons?” 

Peter’s attention was caught, and he quickly got the rest on board, and it didn’t take long for them to begin assigning roles. 

“Violet can be the queen,” Paula said. “And Auntie can be a witch.” 

“A witch?!” you frowned and looked at them. “Absolutely not! Who gave you the idea that I would be a witch and Violet is the queen?” 

“She’s older than you,” Mina said nonchalantly. 

“If you don’t want to be the witch, you can be the jester,” Thomas suggested and there was a chorus of agreement from the children, thinking that role suited you much better. 

“I should have just kept my mouth shut,” you muttered. 

“Raj has to be the baby prince,” Mina said, grabbing your arm and dragging you to Violet so she could take Raj from you. 

Raj didn’t seem to mind changing hands and, in fact, was quick to rest his head on Violet’s shoulder as the children prepared an armchair as her throne and got her to sit down on it. 

Once the game began, you had to be off to the side for a bit while Violet sent the knights on a mission to slay the dragon in the bedroom. 

“Queen Violet, I think it’s time to bring out the clown,” Lillian sat as a princess in the chair next to Violet. 

“Hey, I am not a clown,” you pointed to Lillian. “It’s jester, get it right.” 

“Fine, whatever,” she rolled her eyes and waved her hand. “Bring in the jester.” 

You sighed and stepped in front of Violet, Lillian, Raj, and Paula, clearly unsure of what to do with yourself. 

“I think the jester should dance, don’t you?” Violet looked at the kids around her, and they all nodded their heads while you gave Violet a pleading look. 

“Dance!” Raj giggled, clapping his hands and you pressed your lips together. 

“I am so going to get you back for this,” you looked at Violet, who simply had a radiant smile on her face. 

“Is that a threat to your Queen?” she asked. “Because that is treason, my dear.” 

“The death of a traitor would be better than this,” you motioned to whatever was going on around you. 

“I’m bored,” Paula groaned. “Why won’t the jester dance?” 

“Perhaps because there is no music,” Violet suggested and took out her phone, passing it to Paula to pick a song. 

Already aware of what was coming your way, you mentally prepared yourself, and when the music turned on, you let out the loudest sigh before beginning to dance in front of Violet and the children. Raj, Lillian, and Paula weren’t even trying to contain their laughter. Violet was a little more gracious, but still had a hard time with the ridiculousness of the whole situation. 

“Maybe the jester should sing?” Violet suggested after a moment. 

“Violet, no,” you shook your head. 

“That is Queen Violet to you,” she insisted, Raj still contently tucked in her arms. 

“Okay then, no, Queen Violet, the jester will not be singing,” you curtsied. 

“Then the jester has to kiss the Queen’s hand as an apology!” Lillian declared, and you looked over at her curiously. 

“And what rule book is this coming from?” 

“Auntie, you’re ruining the game,” Paula whined. “Just do it.” 

Violet held out her hand, and you sighed again while taking it in your own, looking down, your thumb brushing down against her fingers, noticing the few freckles that littered her skin there. 

Without trying to think about it too much, you pressed your lips to the back of her hand, making the mistake of looking up at her once your lips had made contact with the soft skin. 

You quickly removed yourself and straightened out your clothes while Violet slowly withdrew her hand, wrapping it back around Raj. 

“We slayed the dragon!” Jackson exclaimed, running back into the room. 

“And I saved Princess Kira!” Mina grinned, holding Kira’s hand and dragging her into the room. 

“Oh, splendid!” Violet clapped her hands together. “We shall have a feast to celebrate.” 

All of the knights came in, and Violet rewarded each one with a kiss to the forehead and a slipped candy from her purse which excited them, but dreaded you to no end. 

The game went on a little longer until Raj got tired and you had to take him away to put him down for a nap. You were tempted to just stay and join him, but you couldn’t leave Violet alone, although when you finally rejoined them, they were all cozied up in the living room under blankets, crowded around Violet who was reading them a story. 

You still couldn’t quite fathom how she had gotten them all to sit down quietly, but regardless of how she did it, it was done. 

Mina insisted you come sit next to her, so you picked up Peter, who was next to her, and sat him on your lap instead, taking his spot. 

The day passed much more smoothly than you had initially anticipated, and once all of your friends had returned from their days out, the children were very reluctant to let you and Violet leave. 

“So, this is the Violet we’ve heard so much about,” your friend Lucas smiled. 

“I don’t know about so much,” you laughed nervously. 

“It’s a decent amount,” Yasmin patted your back, and you chewed on your lip, watching as Violet laughed along, but not without a soft rosy tinge to her cheeks. 

“Are you sure you guys can’t stay for a drink or something?” 

“Unfortunately not,” you shook your head. “Big day at work tomorrow and your kids, I love them to death, but I would like to go to sleep for six months now.” 

Your friends laughed at your dramatic exaggeration, and you said your goodbyes, but just as you were about to slip out, you heard a voice behind you. 

“Did you really think you were going to be able to get away without saying bye to me?” 

You grinned and turned around, wrapping your arms around your best friend and pulling her into a hug. 

“I didn’t realize you were in,” you said and relaxed in her embrace. 

When you pulled apart, your friend, Amara, noticed Violet and gave her a welcoming smile. 

“Hi, I’m Amara,” she put her hand out to shake and Violet took it. “Are you Violet?” 

“Yes, that would be me,” she chuckled. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Amara said. 

“Oh, that seems to be a common thread tonight,” Violet nodded her head, clearly unsure of what to say. 

“All good things, I assure you, even from my kids who have only known you a day,” she chuckled. “I’m really happy I got to meet you. We’ll have to find someone else to watch the kids for a day so all the adults can have the chance to get to know you.” 

Violet smiled, “I’d like that a lot.” 

You watched the exchange with some trepidation, only for it to vanish as they continued to speak. 

“I won’t keep you guys much longer, I know you must have a lot of work to do, but thank you for coming and helping with our hoard. Both of you.” 

“Any day, Mara,” you wrapped your arms around her once more in a hug before the three of you exchanged last goodbyes, and you and Violet stepped outside of the house, both walking to your cars.

“Hey, Violet?” 

She looked up from where she was trying to get her keys out of her purse. 

“Yes?” 

“I-” you paused. “Thank you again for today. Really.” 

Violet smiled, “I think I should be thanking you.” 

“Me?” you chuckled, leaning against your car. “For what?”

“Always finding new and interesting ways to make sure I have a break,” she settled on. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow, Vi,” you waved and climbed into the front seat of your car, watching as she pulled out of the driveway and taking a few moments to yourself, a prayer for strength on the tip of your tongue. 

TAGLIST —

@paola-carter @madde11 @thesamesweetie @cherrysxuya @philocalistwrites @mako-mermaids2021 @oh-mydarling @courtneyteal @amethyst-bitch @etherynn @lilisdarling @fictionalized-lesbian

[i4bellingham]

THE PERFECT CUDDLE BUDDY : jamal musiala x reader

in which something as mundane and as simple as waking up entangled in each other's arms can either boost to start one’s day or be a reason to laze around, your boyfriend uses it for the latter.

posting short pieces for now because of writer’s block, i don't like this situation at all 🤧 anyways i’m finishing a request for jude so it will probably be up by tmrw or the next day idk i’m not really sure but it will be posted for sure!

Jamal knows he should be getting up.

It's already past 6 am and the day is not going to wait for him to leave the bed, pause the time itself so he can prepare his stuff for another day of grueling training (which in his defense he actually enjoys).

But really? How could he even leave the comfort of his soft bed when he's got the most perfect cuddle buddy wrapped around his arms like a missing puzzle to solve the enigma that is his life?

You're there, all secured and warmed up in his arms as he nudges his cold feet in between yours underneath the duvet. He knows you'll probably notice the coolness of his skin soon enough and will most likely chide him for bugging you out of your sleep because of that but really, he wants you awake just as much as he is even though he doesn't straight up wake you up.

“Your feet’s cold J.” You mumble sleepily before kicking his feet away, making Jamal chuckle from your attempt of keeping him from your warmth when he plops an entire leg over your waist.

He rubs the back of your head to make up for his early shenanigans, trailing soft kisses on the crown of your head before you're burying your face against his chest.

“Don’t you have training today?” You ask him, patting his thigh that was over your hip. “You’ll be late if you don’t move now.”

“Nah... think I’ll be fine being late just for today.” He replies, reaching over the bedside table to his right to take his phone. “Or should I just skip training today? Tell the team I got cold or somethin’?”

“And for what reason would you pull this lie?”

He taps on his phone for a few moments before he's chucking the device back on the bedside table, shooting you a mischievous smile before tackling you in a hug that had you squealing.

“No- Jamal! I swear to God I’ll kick your ass if you don’t get off me right now!”

Jamal pushes his luck by completely letting his arms and legs go for support, letting his weight fall down on you as he snuggles against your chest comfortably.

“But you're soft, and warm and I’m tired baby... just let me recharge real quick yeah?” You boop his nose, rolling your eyes but saying nothing else except letting him lay on top of you like a sack of potatoesㅡ a fine sack of potatoes.

“But seriously though, are you heading over to training?”

Jamal nods his head. “Yes but I texted the team, told them I’ll be late because someone caught a cold...” He ends his sentence with a cheeky smile, grinning wider when he notice that you're contemplating who on Earth caught a cold.

He thinks it's cute the way your eyes visibly widens as the realization dawns on you about what he did, slapping his back playfully for a good measure before you're lovingly chiding the life out of him.

“No way you lied to your team! I did not caught the cold did I? Why would you lie love seriously?” You huff.

“But I want to spend some time with you... such a good day outside, bright and beautiful don’t you think?” He points at the windows, watching the sun rise above the horizon in all it's sunny glory.

You gently flick on his forehead, rubbing on his skin when he whines about your flick being too painful (even though you both know it's really not and he's just whining for some extra affection), you cuddle him close to you still.

“Or you could have just asked the team for a day off like a normal person would?”

“And have Phonzy blowing up my phone?” He asks with a shake of his head. “No thank you, I’d rather do this instead.”

“But you'll attend training later on the day, won’t you love?”

A soft smile blossoms in Jamal’s lips, most likely done by the familiar pet name you normally call him on a daily basis as he nods his head in affirmation.

“Yes Ma'am.” He nuzzles his face back on your chest as you wrap an arm on his back, rubbing your palm over his shirt up and down. “I’ll leave when the clock hits 9:30 yeah? Just let me lay down here with you... You're so warm and soft how is this possible...”

[abarbaricyalp]

Bed, Beignets, Birthdays, and Other B Things Sam Wilson Likes

Happy birthday, Cap! 🎉 // AO3 Link 🛏🥐🎂

Sam’s arm fell to the other side of the bed and landed on a warm chest instead of cool sheets. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before turning over and sneaking a glance at the man next to him. Scared, just for a moment, that this might slip away if he actually looked.

Bucky was already awake, but he was still sleep rumpled, impression lines crossing his face and chest, hair a mess. Sam wondered if he could convince him to cut it now. Surely he was more susceptible to the idea when it was all tangled in the morning. Then again, Sam figured if the whole ‘your secret identity will be harder to figure out if you cut off your trademark mane’ hadn’t worked, he didn’t think a few knots would either.

“You stayed,” he yawned and stretched his arms into Bucky’s space.

Bucky’s fingers fell across one of Sam’s hands, traced over the lines of his metacarpals lightly. “It’s your birthday,” he said simply. “Thought I should at least buy you breakfast. Give you a day off.”

Sam smiled at the idea. Not hunting down rogue bases and ghost stories was fine by him. It seemed like a lovely day outside. The seasons were actually turning here and there was a crispness he could feel even without opening the window. It made him press closer to Bucky’s chest, hiding his head under Bucky’s jaw. Bucky’s arms went around him, his left arm slow in caution and also because he was laying on it.

“Maybe I like chasing you down,” Sam suggested.

“You like pastries more,” Bucky pointed out. And that was true. Food in general, but breakfast desserts were a favorite. And they were in Paris of all places. Sam really could not envision a better day.

“You got any other plans for the day?” Sam asked. “Or are you gonna disappear as soon as I turn my back on you outside?”

“I don’t plan on letting you outside,” Bucky admitted. “My plans involved getting you in the shower and then back in this bed. Everything else can be ordered in.”

Sam hummed. That did sound like a really good plan. “Can I open the window?”

“We’re on a fourth floor, so I don’t think that many people will be able to hear you. Go for it.”

Sam lifted his head enough to watch Bucky’s face until it broke into a grin. “Oh, that kind of day in bed, huh?” he asked.

Bucky’s fingers moved up Sam’s back. “That kind of day in bed,” he agreed and turned onto his back, pulling Sam over him as he went. His fingers went back to tracing Sam’s spine and Sam tried not to shiver with it. He didn’t succeed.

“If you were gonna ask for something today, what would it be?” Bucky asked.

Sam raised an eyebrow and took his own turn to brush his fingers over Bucky’s chest–the line of hair traveling down his pecs, a birthmark against his ribs, a scar under his collarbone, which Sam weirdly had a matching one to. They’d both gotten them when they were kids, lifetimes before they knew each other or had any shared life experience. Except, Sam supposed, falling out of a tree and hitting every branch on the way down.

“Use pet names today,” he decided. “Don’t call me Wilson.”

“What about–”

“Sam and all your terrible variations are fine,” Sam added.

Bucky grinned up at him. “Alright, doll,” he agreed. “That one’s easy enough to give you.” He sat up so they were shoulder to shoulder, chest to chest, hip to hip. It made Sam light-headed and he tilted forward to catch Bucky’s mouth on his and also steady himself.

Bucky kissed like he thought it was the last thing he was going to do. Sam refused to consider the legitimacy of that fear. Bucky was intense and excited. Sometimes it felt like running into a brick wall and sometimes he opened up like an endless expanse of soft lips and searching hands. Sometimes the brick wall came down between them, and then tilted forward for extra kisses, with a hand on Sam’s chest, pushing him back.

“Wait, wait,” Bucky panted and then took another three kisses. “Shower first,” he encouraged. “I have a plan for today.”

“What about food?” Sam asked.

Bucky grinned at him and it made Sam’s stomach turn over in the most desirable way. “Well, I’m gonna eat,” he said oh-so innocently. “But I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, so I figured we could order in later.”

Sam was nodding before Bucky even finished talking. “Yeah, alright,” he agreed, pulling Bucky into another kiss.

He was expecting it when Bucky stood and lifted him in the same motion, but it still made him go light headed all over again. He kind of loved it when Bucky did that. It made him feel young and spontaneous and it was so damn hot.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Bucky breathed against Sam’s chest, where he seemed to be trying to kiss his way to Sam’s heart.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed dazedly. “And here’s to many more.”

“Well you’ve still got to get through this one,” Bucky teased.

Sam shivered and curled his arms around the back of Bucky’s neck. He kind of thought this wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. But he was fully planning on doing this again next year.

Read the rest on AO3

[justjams2003]

Between two Gods-4

Paring: Alpha!Thor Odinson x Omega!Reader x Alpha! Clark Kent

Warnings: A/B/O, mating, breeding, threesome, oral sex (both male and female receiving) P in V. Mxm, mxmxw, afab!reader, possessive!Thor, possessive!Clark, guys kissing, rutting, knotting

Masterlist

Part 3~Part 5 (coming soon)

Word count: 2k

Dividers: @benkeibear @poison-aesthetics

When your mates are two gods, your heat is something of a girl’s wet dream. It was honestly more enjoyable than any daydream. Your mates took a week off and in turn your heat was spent with day and nights of knotting. By the end of it, you had to buy a new bed and also new bed sheets. It was rare for any of you to be wearing clothes, except when eating of course.  

You ensured that the moment your heat finished, that you three went house shopping. Though, you struggled to choose. If it was by the woods, it doesn’t have a farm like Clark wants. If it has a farm, it isn’t by the forest, like you want. And if it has both, it isn’t big enough like Thor wants. It was starting to frustrate you. Your own bachelor flat is growing small, especially with all the boxes standing around.  

Or maybe it’s more than that that is irritating you. “Thor! You’re late. Now dinner is cold, and I’ve already packed the plates away. Cold pizza and paper plates for you.” You scold at the God of Thunder, not even greeting him. He frowns, turning to his fellow Alpha. He drops his hammer and hangs up his cape.  

He shakes his head and then, without warning, pulls you closer by the waist and giving you the most passionate kiss. And when you come up for air, the anger has dissipated from your eyes. “Hello, my dear omega. Why yes, I have missed you, my dear.” He gives you his charming smile and then your legs are Jello.   

He then lets you go, after hearing your phone call. He sits down on the couch next to the other Alpha. “Hello, my pretty boy.” Thor smiles, lifting Kal’s chin and giving him a sloppy kiss. “What’s got our girl so fussy?” He asks, pulling the other alien into his side. “It’s the same as yesterday, we’d gone to 5 more house showings and none of them were ‘just right’.”  

“Hi mom,” You call into the phone after picking up Martha’s call. “Hello dear, so nice to hear from you stranger.” You can’t help but laugh. You’ve gotten really close to her over the past few years. “Yeah, I’m sorry. We’ve been so busy. You’d be really happy to hear that we’re trying for pups.” You can hear the excited squeal from the phone.  

“That is such good news!” You can hear the birds in the background. “Not only that, but we’re looking for a new house. Clark wants a farm, Thor wants a million pups so a million rooms and I want something by the forest. Our apartment is already packed up but we haven’t bought any house yet.” She sighs, looking at the state of her normally neat apartment.  

Martha is quiet for a moment. “Why don’t you move in with me?” She asks, and you bite your lip. “I have the farm, it’s right by the forest and it has 6 bedrooms. One for me, one for you three. That leaves four extra bedrooms.” It’s sounds almost too good to be true. It’s exactly what they want. “I’m growing old and I miss the company.” She adds, trying to win you over.  

“Hold on.” You put your own mother-in-law on hold. You scatter over to your partners, plopping in both of their laps. “What if we move in with Clark’s mom? She has the big empty house, the farm, the forest.” You give them the biggest doe eyes you can muster, pushing out your bottom lip.  

“Of course, my lady, whatever makes you happy.” Clark gives a similar reply to Thor. You return to the phone call. “It sounds like a fantastic deal. The boys agree. We can’t wait!” You squeal out, hugging your partners closer before finally saying goodbye to Martha.  

You yawn, stretching out your body. The boys didn’t allow you to lift a single box and yet you still feel exhausted. You’re starving but there is nothing that seems like it would stay down. “Are you alright, dear?” Martha ask, handing her a glass of water. “I don’t know, I’m just so tired and so hungry but so nauseous.” You mutter, swallowing the stomach acid with the water.  

“Dear, that doesn’t just sound like fatigue or a stomach bug.... You said you already had your heat, yes?” You can only nod to her question. “Lucky for you, I prepared for this. There is pregnancy test in your ensuite.” Your feet moved faster than your body. Your partners went to get dinner, not wanting you or Martha to cook after a long day of unpacking.  

You wait in anticipation, sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for the timer to go off. And when it finally does, you feel the panic rise in your throat. Why you’re panicking, you’re not entirely sure. Maybe that once Thor knows, he’s taking you straight to Asgard, no questions. Your legs are shaky, you grab the test from the counter.  

Two pink lines.  

Pregnant. Very pregnant.  

There is a knock at the door. “Hello dear, dinner is here.” It’s Clark, relief forms in your stomach. Your shaky hands open the door. You have to tell them. They’re your Alpha’s. They know what is right for you and your pup. “Are you okay?” He asks, wiping the tears which had fallen without your knowledge.  

Your only reply to him, is the tick in your hand. His brows furrow before you clarify it to him. “I’m pregnant.” It takes a moment to realise in his head, before he scoops you up into his arms. He gasps and yells with glee. So much so that Thor comes running up the stairs. “What is the matter?” He asks, seeing your close embrace.  

“We’re going to be dads!” Kal exclaims, knowing just how choked up you are. A huge grin covers Thor’s face. He pics the both of you up in a huge bear hug. “I can’t believe it!” Tears are forming in his eyes and it too makes you want to cry even more.

“We must haste for Asgard, at once.” Thor exclaims, looking to repack all your clothes. Or even leave them there and dress you completely in Asgardian clothes. Both you and Clark.  

Clark places a hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Please, Thor. We’ve just moved, she hasn’t even had chance to nest yet. I’m sure she wants to tell her brothers too, before we leave.” He reasons, he could smell the anxiety coming from you when Thor came up the stairs. He knows going to Asgard is for the best but, certainly it can wait? 

It doesn’t much but two pairs of whimpering eyes for Thor to cave. “Fine. But we’re not staying past the first trimester.” His voice is stern and there is a hint of Alpha voice. The other mates bare their neck, showing that they submit to these rules. “Can we invite my brothers then, next week?” You ask, placing your hand on his chest.  

“Only if we get kisses.” Clark commands and you smirk at his dominance. He’s so soft at times, you do appreciate it, he and Thor balance each other out perfectly. With that you obey his order. Giving them both a deep sloppy kiss.  

The sun shines through the bright balcony, the sheer white curtains blow in the wind. The bedsheets are dispersed and tangled between legs and arms. All you can see is blue. The light, sky blue of Thor’s eyes, avoiding your own. Then the rich, navy blue of Clark’s, also watching your Alpha’s move carefully.  

Like Thor said, the day after your brothers left, he’d packed up everything and transported you to Asgard. Frigga was so excited to see you again. It was rare that you went to Asgard and it was usually short and sweet visits. You’ve never been here for more than a week and now you’re stuck here for nine months.  

You can feel the burn between your legs, and the sticky mess coating your body still. “Do you have to go?” Clark asks, reaching out for Thor’s hand. The blonde god takes his hand and places a gentle kiss. “I do, I do apologize my loves, but my father has called for me.” He takes your hand and places a kiss as well.  

It’s a strange feeling. Back on earth, whenever Thor was home the both of you would have his full attention. Now that he is back home, everyone wants his attention. His duties as Prince and Alpha take more of his concentration that you thought it would. You’re glad you have your other Alpha, but still.  

When Thor’s gone, you miss him. When Clark’s gone, you miss him.  

Then he bends down and plants a soft kiss on your stark-naked belly, there’s rarely a bump, rubbing circles before eventually standing back up. “Love you, my loves,” he waves goodbye before leaving for his day of duties. You groan at the sunlight and roll over into Clark’s arms.  

He lets out a chuckle and soon he hears your snores again. The maids come in soon though and he asks them to fill the tub. When the time comes, he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bathroom. “Noo, let me sleep.” You complain, but when the hot water hits your back the complains die down.  

Soon enough, Superman joins you in the tub. But the silence is so loud and you finally decide enough is enough when Clark lets out a loud sigh. “What’s wrong, my Alpha?” You ask, enjoying his touch as he washes your legs. “Just that. I’m an Alpha, I’m a superhero. I’m the Superman.” You furrow your brows but allow him to speak.  

Again, he sighs, “I spent every day of my life protecting the people of Earth, before you, before Thor. Now, I’m here, mating day and night with lavish amenities and maids attending to my every need.” You can’t help but chuckle and lift yourself into his lap.  

“Oh, my dear, are you feeling a bit unimportant?” You coo, wrapping his curls around your fingers. He laughs again, “Something like that. I can’t help but worry about them. They’re just so destructive to themselves.” Now you really howl at his words.  

He blushes at your laughter. “My love, you do not owe them anything. Their own eradication is not your fault. Think of it like this, when Thor becomes king, the people’s own slaughter will be his fault. Because they chose him to be their protector. The other humans, did not chose you.”  

You smile, hoping that you’re not sounding too insensitive. Also hoping that the words you speak of the Asgardians will never happen. He doesn’t answer, only drawing circles on your skin. “You threw that onto your shoulders only because you’re stronger.”  

He can’t help but grin, you just know him so well. He groans and hides his face in the crook of your neck. “But they’re so fragile!” You roll your eyes at him. “If they’re so fragile, then I’m so fragile! So very weak, a weak human omega. Is that what you’re going to say to your child?”  

Clark knows he’s really dug himself a hole now. “Huh? When your little boy looks up at you and says, ‘daddy I want to be like you some day,’ will you look down and say, ‘no, you’re weak, you half human.’?” It’s a rhetorical question but you can tell he still believes it.  

“No?” He seems uncertain of himself. “Yes, no.” You nod to him, trying to guide him to the right answer. “No, I want you and our pups to stay home forever so that we can protect you. I’m sure Thor agrees.” He nods with a shit eating grin. You shake your head. “Quite the opposite, he’s very excited to take them into battle.”  

Clark’s face goes pale, “The pups will grow up. They will spread their wings and will refuse to listen. They will get hurt. But they will learn from it and so must the humans.” He sighs and pecks your mouth. “What will we do without you?” He asks, picking you up out of the bath after cleaning you.  

“You’d work for 160 hours a week and the other eight hours you’d just have hot gay sex.” You giggle to yourself; the pregnancy has made your tongue a little lose. Clark clicks his tongue at you, “You’ve got such a filthy mouth.” You can’t help but wink at him, “You should know.”