#except the dishes cant leave dirty dishes around for a week
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To do list for tomorrow surely I can finish everything before I leave
2 hours admin (three if you count commute)
Put away laundry
Wash sheets
Sweep
Mop
Take out trash
Tear down boxes
Last minute dishes (breakfast + dinner)
#i am annoyed and grateful by how well these public accountability to do lists work#now if i could just get my brain to cooperate without publicly @-ing myself every time i need to be somewhat functional#but hey if it doesnt get done it doesnt get done and the world wont end#most of these are in the it would be nice if.... category#except the dishes cant leave dirty dishes around for a week
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man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen
i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.
i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.
i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.
so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.
the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.
plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.
and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.
like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf
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alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases
a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it.
special thanks to: @sarido275 for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations-
warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself
genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-
synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...
i used a couple websites: a b
a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-
if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu
*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like
i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations
she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,
with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way)
okay lets start with the “basics”
first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick
omg i what am i writing
okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)
and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~”
and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say
and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!”
omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them-
and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them
which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto)
quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye-
okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-)
okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much
but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second
okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face
and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times
and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now
yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty”
kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty”
omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty”
so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time
again, its something picked up by other teams
i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships)
but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me”
omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-
but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose
aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills
and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me”
and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”
and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence”
and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day
and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya”
like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this
but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!!
at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!
now, onto the “swear words”
which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :(
ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms
but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)
this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)
but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings
is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all-
okay anyways, back to the hc
theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself
and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him
and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya”
and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d
and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for
and hes like, what does that mean
and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything.
so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything”
when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe
when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ????
and so he explains what it means, and
hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase
and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him
*insert a mad kenma*
*insert a mad kuroo*
*insert a mad yaku*
okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!
in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether
another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel)
and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil
bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is
so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person
this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game,
ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals
and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker
from across the court
and out of nowhere
alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel”
poor bby thought she was defending her brother
okay she was but still-
you know what i mean
but anyways, everyone looks at her
and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation
but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them
and she explains to everyone that it means a devil
and theyre all like ??
alisa saying something mean- this is new
but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother
as she should-
but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores
a term that kageyama adopts
he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel
tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off
imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO
but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя
this term is pronounced as radost moya
it means “my joy”
so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister)
she’s like muttering under her breath,
“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“
like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck
no sweetie its the opposite
its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term
so he begins to use it all the time
and i mean ALL THE TIME
when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya.
so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck
and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu
but again, a term that spreads like wild fire
this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu
overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases
these humans look like straight up clowns
i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look-
basically just becomes a crack fest
bonus (kinda-):
lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day
they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell
so, naturally, the others flame them in russian
and someone nearby is like
“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“
queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev
and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff
they all look so shocked and mad and sad
*insert a mad kenma*
*insert tsuki mocking everyone*
just funNy stuff hahahaha
okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#anime#volleyball#lev#lev haiba#alisa#alisa haiba#kenma#lev headcannons#lev fluff#nekoma#kuroo#lev crack#haikyuu crack#headcanon#anime hcs#nekoma x reader#karasuno x reader#hinata#manga
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Super5 headcanons pt 2
Edit: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Minegishi can only stare
"Where the fuck have you been?"
"What do you care?"
"Why are you here?"
"I was bored"
Shimazaki could be here to kill him for betraying him but Minegishi is too tired for this and there are dishes to wash.
In the time it takes him to do the dishes and calm down his plants, shimazaki falls asleep so he goes to the living to room to get a better look at the man
Shimazaki looks almost the same except maybe a bit thinner and with possible hollower eyes. The crooked nose is definitely new. A crooked nose?? Did he broke his nose at some point?? He is even wearing the same clothes as last time. His precious jacket ripped at the edges. Scorching marks and bullet holes here and there.
With a long sigh he takes out his phone, turns off the volume and opens the super3 chat(the too spicy for Seris innocent eyes). The messages start to come in rapidly
Minegishi: Shimazaki is back
Hatori: what
Hatori: what do you mean Shimazaki is back???
Shibata: how did he find us? Did he try to fight you?
Minegishi: i mean he is asleep on my couch. No, he just ate all of my cereal.
Shibata: what the fuck?
Hatori: what the fuck?
Minegishi what the fuck indeed
Shibata: did he say what he wants? Do you know why is he here?
Minegishi: He didnt talk and I dont know
Hatori: what do we do?
Minegishi:
Minegishi: i dont know.
Minesishi: i cant make any calls or else he could wake up and seri isnt logged in so can someone call him and tell him whats going so they can take the necessary precautions
Shibata: im on it
Shibata: hatori is freaking out in his room anyway. I think he is begginin to build a security system.
Minegishi: ...
Shibata: yeah yeah ill go calm him after i talk with Seri.
Minegishi stares at his phones and then at the man on his couch, he cant blame them. Shimazaki is a really dangerous person and they dont know what he is doing here. Minegishi just wanted to do the dishes, water his plants and go to sleep.
The super5 will never know but Shimazaki wasnt lying per se. He WAS bored.
After he ran away from the fight against seasoning city espers he hid here and there taking his sweet time at recovering and once he did(his nose still felt strange but he ignored it) he started to look at what to do.
He joined many criminal organizations, afterall a teletransporter was very valued in the underworld. But not matter how petty or big the crime was, he got bored. So he ended leaving all of them. he even left some in the middle of a important job, not caring whether his employers got caught or not( it was their fault for being stupid and not having a backup plan anyway)
After some months of this he realized he was bored of normal criminals. He was bored of normal persons with narrowed mindsets who conformed with just comitting stupid crimes. HE HAD BEEN PART OF A PLAN TO TAKE THE WORLD and now he was trafficking some drug?? Lame.
Most of all he missed the thrilling sensation of being surrounded with persons that could actually put a fight against him. So he searched for something alike to claw, an organization of espers.
His search turned out fruitless and he decided then he should return to where all started. Claw. It was time to pay a visit to his expartners.
It took him just a week to locate them. It would have took him just a day but he was finally having some fun and god he was gonna drag it all he could.
So here he was in a tiny empty apartment, the crazy amount of plants with a certain aura being the only indication that it belonged to Minegishi...WHERE THE HELL WAS HE? Oh well. He had been waiting for a year. He could wait a little more. In any case in his hurry to get here he forgot to eat and he could hear a fridge running.
Shimazaki, still on the sofa, wakes up the next day at the sound of a blender. He is being held in place, bounded by lots and lots of thick green vines and sturdy roots from which he easily frees himself. The moment he does so the noise at the kitchen stops and an annoyed minegishi steps out. Shimazaki can feel him tensing, preparing for an attack and that makes him smirk .
Until an alarm clock goes off that makes Minegishi mutter a curse
"If you are gonna do something do it now. I have better things to do and i have to go now"
"Better things to do?? What can possibly be better than this??"
"I have work so if you are gonna just stand there and smirk be my guest"
"Work?"
"Yeah, work. you know? That thing you do for a living and that contributes to society? Fuck it.You probably dont. Anyway i gotta go" Turning his back on shimazaki is probably the worst idea but he couldnt sleep at all, he is late and he hasnt had breakfast so if shimazaki wants to kill him he will gladly accept it.
He miraculously manages to exit his apartment and make it to his work. He only hopes theres an apartment to come back later.
Shimazaki can only stare increduously to where minegishis used to stand. 'Work'? 'Contribute to society'? THE FUCK WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT this was completely unexpected and he doesnt know what to do until he notices theres a smell coming from the kitchen where Minegishi left his untouched breakfast. Well he supposes he can muse how to proceed over breakfast.
Hatori isnt allowed to use his phone at work but he is too anxious to care and he has powers to do it without anybody noticing
Spicy3 chat
Hatori: how did it went?
Minegishi: ...well...i guess?? I am alive and my flat was still in one piece last time i saw it
Hatori: he didnt try anything?
Minegishi: he woke up when it was time for me to go...so i just kinda left
Shibata: you just left? He didnt try to stop you???
Minegishi: no
Minegishi:but i think...
Hatori: WHAT
Shibata:what
Minegishi: i think he is...tired.
Minegishi: I bound him while he was sleeping and he never woke up nlr stirred. He didnt notice.
Hatori: weird
Minegishi: i know. Worst of all i couldnt eat and i have 2 hours more left until my break.
Shibata: i can pass on my way to gym and sneak you something
Minegishi: thanks
Hatori: if you want you can hang in our apartment for the time being. We still need to know what he wants
Shibata: yeah, and if he shows up we can fight him together💪
Minegishi: if Seri asks, everything is under control
It takes a week for Shimazaki to finally show up. Meanwhile Minegishi has to use Hatoris and Shibatas washing machine to wash his work uniform daily(it can get very dirty when you work in a flower shop) because his other sets of uniform are back at his place trapped with Shimazaki. So is his money and he has to lend some from Hatoris and shibatas and ask his boss for an advencement in his payment. He hates Shimazaki more now.
They cant do anything but stare blankly when he suddenly shows up in the middle of the living room where they were eating pizza holding an empty box of cereal and says "Theres no more food back there and i want more of these but i cant see how they are called" while pointing at the box.
Sometimes its very easy to forget he is actually blind. Hatori weakly says the name of the branch of cereal he is holding and Shimazaki dissapears again before anybody can say anything.
"Did everybody saw what i just saw right??what the fuck? What the fuck?" shibata exclaims
"...my food"minegishi laments
Its not until an hour of wondering what was that and wracking their brain for an asnwer after that shimazaki returns, a brand new box of the cereal in his hands. He picks up a slice of the forgotten pizza and sits besides Shitaba.
"You didnt pay for that did you?" asks Shitaba
Shimazaki just turns around and stares st him with his hauntingly empty eyes "you too?"
"PAY? WORK? CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU"
"Weve changed"
"Yeah we have jobs and stuff, we help peopl"
"YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORKING?"
"TO NOT PARASITE ON OTHERS HARD WORK LIKE SOME PEOPLE IN HERE" finally explodes Minegishi
The man frowns and rapidly done with the conversation teleports away.
Minegishi finally returns to his place, his web of plants telling him Shimazaki isnt there anymore. Re stashing his fridge and cabinet is a pain in the ass.
Shimazakis plan had been to either find his expartners and form something alike to Claw with them or just antagonize them until he gets the fight he so much craves. None of that has happened because all of them had turned to a bunch of weakling pussies and he cant even find Serizawa.
He could still try to fight them but he bitterly realizes he wont get any satisfaction of beating them if they keep acting like that, restraining themselves and trying to be civil as if they werent the same persons that destroyed this very city a year ago. It would be like punching flowers!
The point was to get rid of his boredness and now he is just angry!
He needs them to drop the act.
Thats when a plan starts to form in his head and he smirks. He is going to show them what they are missing on.
Thats how he finds himself back in minegishis apartment.
"Im just saying you could probably grow tons of weed, good quality of course. And i take care of the transport i know a bunch of people-"
"Weed? Are you serious? Is this why you came back? To start a drug trafficking bussines?"
"Im just saying with my teletransporting abilities and yourplant thing we could save lots of money in transport and become richer than-"
"No"
"AREN YOU TIRED OF THIS? OF SHITTY CUSTOMERS GETTING YOU IN TROUBLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW RAINBOW ROSES DONT NATURALLY EXIST?"
"WHERE YOU SPYING ME AT WORK?"
"MAYBE SO"
"DONT DO IT AND STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD"
He then tries with shibata, approaching him during one of his morning running routines. Teletransporting every 2 meters at his side while he keeps running clearly ignoring him
"With your force, not that i need it, we could terrorize all the bussines of a whole prefecture and force them to pay for protection. We win, they win"
"Not interested"
"Why not?! It would be so easy"
"I dont want to"
"Could you stop running? This is important"
"No thanks"
"You arent even listening!"
"Good"
He finally tries with Hatori thinking he would be the easiest of them
"You hack the system and we force all those politicians to pay us to not release all their dirty secrets"
"I am busy"
"No you are not. You are playing mario kart. I can hear Yoshi"
"Ive changed"
"Have you? Really???" at this point Shimazaki raises an eyebrow, he is so done and he wont keeo with this bullshit "because everywhere i have been, and i have been everywhere, the interpol, cia, you name it HAS BEEN AFTER ME whereas you three can waltz into a store like nobodys bussiness. WE COMMITED THE SAME CRIME. WE DESTROYED THIS CITY so how come im the only one being persecuted? Huh? You think I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID"
Hatori pauses the game and glares at him. Good, he is finally getting a reaction.
" i did what had to be done and i wont let YOU of all people tell me-"
"Me? Of all people? You believe yourself so grand and high when you are nothing but THE SAME AS ME" immediately shimazaki feels hatoris aura flare. what must have been his console shifting and changing into something new. Whatever it is, he is sure he can block it.
"Really? You are gonna fight me? I want to see you-" a horrible sound like nothing he had ever heard before pierces his ears making him howl in pain and he teleports away.
After that accident shimazaki never mentions Hatoris dirty secret again but that doesnt stop him from keep trying to get them to commit felonies again.
He thinks he once "saw" Serizawa on the street but his aura was quickly eaten by the aura of the person by his side. He didnt stayed to find out and quickly teleported away.
And this goes like this for 3 months, his proposals becoming more and more desesperate until one day he just... gives up.
Shimazaki should have left or killed them months ago but for some reason he prefers to stay here. He wont admit it but hes having more fun living on their couches annoying them than what he would have had they accepted his proposals.
He takes special delight in annoying them when they had hard days. (Minegishi comes home covered in something stinky and almost strangles shimazaki with his own hands after he comments this wouldnt have happened if he had accepted to traffick weed in a yacht with him)
...besides he has noticed that now in both apartments there is always a box of his favourite cereal (hatori sweared it was the cereal what placated Shimazaki given how docile he was whenever he was seen eating it, shibata and minegishi just liked it)
The super3 cant believe it themselves but they have now gotten used to the constant presence of Shimazaki in their lives (which isnt surprising given they spent at least 3 years together).
Well constant is a way to put it because the man still has the habit of dissapearing 3-5 days every once in a while and reappearing like nothing happened
But they know this cant keep going like this and thats how minegishi finds himself texting the super3 chat one day he comes to an empty apartment
Minegishi: is shimazaki there?
Hatori: yeah, hes playing smash with shitaba
Minegishi: playing smash??
Hatori: its seems he learned the patron of my movements by observing me and now hes kicking Shitabas ass as princess peach
Minegishi: ?
Hatori: we told him he was playing bowser
Minegishi: whatever, tell him to bring his ass back. I need to go grocery shopping and i need his help
"Why would i help you grocery shopping?" says shimazaki suddenly to his right
At the same his phone sounds 2 times
Shibata: hatori said something to him and he just teleported
Shibata: is safe to assume he is with you?
Minegishi: yea, im taking charge from here
"Im teaching you to do grocery shopping"
"I dont need you to teach me shit"
" yes, you do if you want to keep eating that cereal you like and that you finished this morning"
Shimazaki raises his eyebrow, teleports and after 5 min returns with 5 boxes of the damn cereal in his arms
"There. Its done"
"DID YOU JUST ROBBED THEM? YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS"
"WHY NOT? ITS EASIER"
"THATS NOT THE POINT"Minegishi stops, breathes amd tries again "Shimazaki you cant keep doing this and i dont mean just the whole robbing, i mean i dotn know what you do when you dissapear for days but when you are here you just eat our food, wait for us to come home from work and then annoy us?"
"So? I can do whatever i want"
"Do you realize how pathethic it sounds?Is this really all you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do?"
Shimazaki doesnt wanna hear anymore of that and teleports
He ends teleporting to a random alley where he passes the night
The next days his mood isnt any better and he spends them sleeping, terrorizing random deliquents he finds in his way and kicking bags of trash until one day of the "bags" lets out a yelp.
Its shibata who finds him some days later during one of his running routines when he follows the sound of a hurt dog
Expecting to see a bunch of nasty kids terrorizing a poor animal he steps up to confront them only to find his missing "friend" glaring at poor dog and screaming "STOP COMPLAINING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT MOVING I DIDNT EVEN KICK YOU THAT HARD"
He texts a quickl "Found him" to the group chat and marches up to him
"You shouldnt be kicking random things in the first place"
"Get lost"
" are you sure you didnt kick him hard? He is limping and we both know your kicks arent exactly soft"
"If i had wanted, a limp would be the least of its problems" still he makes a face as if he isnt sure
With a sigh Shibata carefully picks up the dog and motions to shimazaki "theres a vet nearby. You kicked him so you own him that at least. Dont worry ill pay" he doesnt wait for Shimazakis response and walks, relief overflowing him once he hears footsteps behind him
The consult is quick and the vet gleefully hands shimazaki "his" dog while she explains to shibata the treatment they should follow the next three months
Shimazaki...had never in his life pet a dog, much less carried one. His fur feels dirty and is tangled everywhere but the vet said it just needs a bath. It is warm and he can feel and hear his steady breaths. His mental eye allows him to perceive the flowing of his blood, the currents in his brain, the beating of his heart...all what makes a living being held in his arms. Things he has always perceived but never payed attention. The fact that the dog starts to lick his hands doesnt go unnoticed and he feels strangely calm. His grip tightening.
They are about to exit the clinic, shibata saying his last thanks when a woman and a girl enter. That very moment the dog starts to squirm in his embrace. And he doesnt know what to do
"Hey are you alright? I can hold it if you want" asks shibata noticing his turmoil
" yeah, its just the stupid dog WHO HAS FORGOTTEN HE CANT WALK"
The girls who shibata notices has red puffy narrows her eyes and yells "DONT CALL HIM STUPID YOU ARE THE STUPID" before turning to look at shimazaki, whatever she was going to say next is forgotten as she stares with wide eyes.
Both the moms and shimazakis replies are drowned by the girl scream of "UESAMA! MOM ITS HIM ITS MY DOG"
For some reason shimazaki feels his blood run cold and lifts up the dog even more when the girl comes clashing at his legs desesperately trying to grab her dog
Shibata who noticed shimazakis earlier expression cant believe what hes seeing (please god, please tell me he isnt gonna fight a girl over a dog) when the vet decides to come out to see what is happening
"Im sorry, my little girl believes those boys over there have Uesama"
"ITS HIM"
"Uesama?..." the vet stares some seconds in confusion before her eyes grow wider "Oh how didnt i notice it before! Im sorry sirs but it seems you have found this little girls dogs" the vets looks expectantly at shimazaki
Shimazaki who has been holding a very squirming dog and listening to the screams of a girls is starting to get very annoyed. The tempation to teleport away with the dog too big to ignore. Hes about to do it when he hears the dog crying again.
With a huff he hands it to the very thankful mother and exits the clinic as quickly as he can.
Shibata follows suit "I saw your face before they arrived. I can tell what you did"
"Shut up"
The walk home is strangely quiet but at least he is back.
The joke on the spicy chat is that the super 3 are dumb and believe they are protecting oh so pure Seri when in reality they just share dumb penis jokes while Seri is actually riding Reigens dick.
And yes as his last crime Hatori threatened with realeasing all the state secrets of all the goverments and provoking a worldwide crisis if they didnt allow them to try to live normal lives
I just noticed this is more of a fanfic than a list of headcanons now but meh. What i wanted to actually be part 2 is gonna be part 3? 4? I didnt even get to write the prank the super5 were gonna pull on shimazaki but now you have something to look up next time.
Im not that happy with how the second half turned out but maybe im just tired.
#mob psycho 100#mp100#minegishi toshiki#hatori nazomu#shibata hiroshi#shimazaki ryou#should i tag animal violence?#manga spoilers#mp100 spoilers#super5 headcanons#nie's writing
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rant about my day. major tw for insects
uhhuhuuhuhuhuuh so this evening i took a half hour long ttc ride to walmart to get roach traps (there's a lot of roaches in our apartment) but they had traps for everything except roaches, so i called the other walmart that was another half hour ttc ride away and i was like "hey got any roach traps" and they were like "yeah we do"
so i rushed there and got to the store 15 mins to closing, and i went to find the roach traps and once again couldn't find any. so i asked someone "hey where are your roach traps" and he was like "uh they would be right there" looking at me like im stupid... yeah thanks dude i know im looking at the insect traps im wondering why i was told yall had roach traps when you didn't :))). but whatever it's not his fault so im like "oh ok cool thanks", i grab a can of roach killing spray instead and rush to the checkout
all in all i spend like 2 hours on the ttc and a bunch of money on fare, and then i get home and there's a roach right on the fucking wall because of course there is. so i take out the can and spray it for a good 20 seconds until it falls down, and then start spraying around the sink and baseboards and stuff...
and i look over and the roach is walking around again. so i spray it again, right up close and it just keeps running, despite the fact that it's just absolutely doused in the shit. like there is a puddle of the spray on the ground and the roach is just making its way through. so i look up the spray and apparently it actually does jackshit
so anyway now i dont know where to buy traps and im just really fucking stressed because i hate bugs so much. like literally the thought of them makes me want to cry, i cant even look at pictures of them, and now our apartment has a fucking roach infestation and i dont know what to do. none of my roommates are doing anything to help, in fact they leave dirty dishes piled up in the sink constantly, and the front desk of the building says they bring in pest control every two weeks but bitch how tf is that possible if we have a roach infestation 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
anyways im just really upset and on edge being in this apartment bc i constantly feel like there's bugs on me, and also my day was really stressful bc taking public transit is so hard with my mental health and just completely saps all my energy.
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In which Neil had Aspergers and Andrew finds out. Only because Neil runs out of medication
It’s one of Neil’s semester meetings with Betsy. Neil has taken after Aaron now and and so him and Beaty are having a silent stare down. This only lasts a few minutes before Betsy pulls out a small slip of paper, offering Neil and a small but unconvincing smile.
“Neil, you have Aspergers, don’t you?”
It’s so blunt for Betsy that Neil has to blink a few times to steel himself. He only gives a nod in return, his eyes strained on the slip of paper Betsy is holding. He knows what it is and yet she still says it aloud anyways. Typical Betsy.
“This is a prescription I received from the FBI. Being as now that you’re officially a real person all former documentation was gathered to see what you needed and mostly ‘delete’ your past lives. As your counselor I was given this and your contact prescriptions, save you should actually come to need them one day.”
She waits patiently for Neil to respond and when he doesn’t she looks down at the paper and sighs.
“Six different pills. Taken every morning, daily. Do you still have plenty?”
“Yes” Neil lies.
“Does Andrew know?”
Neil stares at her and she gets the hint. She goes to say something, probably that he should tell Andrew that he can’t function properly, but Neil chooses to look at the clock and sees that Betsy’s time is up. He gives her a nods as a sarcastic thanks and all but runs from the room. — He can’t go to Betsy. He can’t go to Andrew. It’s been three weeks since his meeting with Betsy and he’s now sitting with six empty pill bottles in his hands. Neil’s glares at them and prompts them to fill themselves with whispered curses. They remain empty and Neil sighs. He’s been off his meds for a few days on occasion and it shouldn’t bother him to go with out them. Obviously Neil will be fine.
Except he’s not.
It takes three days. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. On Wednesday when Andrew wakes up to get ready for his weekly session with Betsy Neil rolls out of bed with him. He wasn’t sleeping so it wasn’t that hard to persuade himself to get up. He follows after Andrew, who gives him a slightly raised brow but doesn’t question it. He has to speed up his routine so they get there on time and that causes his hands to twitch a bit, but that’s not too bad.
Then Andrew is ready to go and Neil still has to make coffee. He has to make coffee. It’s his routine. He has to.
The coffee is pouring into the pot when Andrew get inpatient.
“Neil.” It’s all he says, but there’s a very slight edge of irritation in his voice. Neil wills the coffee to pour faster. It’s in the pot and Neil picks it up to pour into his cup.
His hands slips and the boiling coffee spills on his hand a bit.
He watches it burn his hand and doesn’t move. He stares at it for a good minute before very slowly saying 'ow’.
He walks to the sink and dumps the coffee in his hand into the sink. He pours some into his cup and watches it cool for all but thirty second until Andrew’s gaze on the back of his head gets to heavy and he chugs down the burning coffee.
He slings his fox backpack over his shoulder (Matt and Dan had insisted with all the books he carried) and the soft thump it makes hitting his back has his thought turning back to the fact that this is not his routine. His hands twitch more.
He goes past Andrew to the door, flicking Andrew only the slightest of glances before he’s already at the stairway.
The drive to Betsy’s work is silent. — Betsy seems only slightly surprised when Neil walks in with Andrew but it only makes Neil want her to be more surprised. Neil and Andrew get comfortable on the couch with a few inches between them. Comfortable being Andrew laid back and stretched out, Neil on the edge of his cushion, head down, hands fiddling with fingers between his legs.
Both Betsy and Andrew watch Neil and wait.
After about ten minutes Andrew says his name, only once, and Neil is reaching into his bag. He pulls out a ziplock bag and takes it to Betsy’s desk, laying it there before returning to the couch. Andrew stares at the bag with Betsy and Neil stares at the ground.
Betsy pulls out the six pill bottles and sorts the into a straight line. She study them for a bit before speaking.
“You ran out three days ago.”
Andrew is still beside Neil, and when Neil finally drags his gaze from the floor to Andrews face he feels guilty. Andrews face is blank but his arched eyebrow speaks confusion and demands an explanation.
Neil is afraid. If Andrew's knows he’ll leave. If he doesn’t he’ll leave. He doesn’t want Andrew to leave. He says as much to Betsy. Andrew very slowly reaches out a hand to wrap around behind Neil’s neck. Grounding him.
“I told you to stay and that you weren’t going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. Now ask.”
Neil feel so many emotions. He’s body is a firework, all his nerves firing, his brain telling him 'he’s going to say no’.
“Stay.”
“Okay.”
Then Neil is crying jut barely. Two years make it out before he quells his emotions enough to nod at Andrew’s response. Then he turns and nods at Betsy. She begins explaining.
“Neil has Major Aspergers, Andrew.”
Neil’s nerves should be dead by how much he’s on edge and afraid of Andrew’s response. It’s killing him inside. But only Andrew blinks a few times before looking at the pill bottles then at Neil.
Neil flinches away from his gaze. He knows Andrew has been around Aaron enough to know what Aspergers is, even if him and Aaron still don’t get along. Andrew beckons Betsy to continue.
“Some Aspergers is minor, but for Neil it’s not so. For Aspergers by itself there is usually only one pill taken. However, Aspergers often has… 'side effects’ you could say. The other five pills Neil take are to help with those side effects.”
She pulls one bottle away. The Aspergers only bottle. She starts to list the others and pulls them away as well, explaining to Andrew.
“Anxiety comes with Aspergers. People with Aspergers tend to have a set routine. Going outside that routine can lead to twitches and panic attacks.”
The look Andrew sends Neil says he is remembering this morning.
“ADHD can also come with Aspergers. This is when people can’t sit still for too long, or they always have to be doing something. However, while there are periods of hyperactivity, where they feel as though they have an excess of energy, there are also period of hypoactivity. This can mean not being able to focus on or doing anything, or focusing on only one thing. Like exy.” Betsy gives Neil a small smile at the gentle prod and Neil only squeezes his hands tighter.
“Next is insomnia. Not being able to sleep or just being awake because you can’t shut off your brain. This can also be caused by nightmares.” Andrew already knows what insomnia is and simply nods.
Betsy looks carefully at Andrew and even more so at Neil before she says the next one. Neil knows it’s coming and tenses. Andrew notices and it distracts him enough that he’s caught off guard by the next 'side effect’.
“Depression is another 'side effect’, especially, after not sleeping and so much pressure from anxiety.” She says it slowly as to not push either of them too far.
Andrew is frozen cold stone, and Neil won’t look up from his hands which are white from squeezing so hard. Andrew whispers a quiet 'yes or no’ to which Neil can barely nod to. But Andrew only puts him hand over Neil’s so gently their barely touching. Neil sighs quietly, but when Andrew’s pinky touches his wrist in a silent question the tears well up again.
“Not since I was 12.”
Andrew’s hand is stretched so tight Neil is afraid the skin may break. He needs to calm him, needs to let Andrew know he can tell him about it, but not here.
“Later,” is all Neil can say. Andrew understands and warily eyes the last bottle.
Betsy taps it before dragging it back to the others. “This one is not always related to Aspergers, but it still affects Neil. It’s eating disorder pills.”
Andrew is quiet and Neil knows he’s scanning his memory. Neil had an apple Sunday and managed to eat a small bowl of soup and noodles. No dinner. Monday Neil had an apple and told the Foxes he would eat at home, heated up the Mac and cheese, took one bite, and threw it all down the trash. He left the dirty dish in the sink for Andrew to see. Andrew realizes this now. Tuesday Neil did not eat an apple and his only meal was coffee with Renee, which he told Andrew was an actual a lunch with food. Andrew also realizes this now.
Andrew’s hand is now tight around Neil’s but not painful. He’s worried and he wants to help Neil. He swallows then nods slowly at Betsy. He turns to Neil.
Neil can’t look at Andrew. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t.He cant. hecant. hecanthecantcantca-
Andrew’s hand is behind his neck, tugging his hair slightly, pulling him back to reality. Neil is crying and he can’t stop. Andrew says his name and Neil is sobbing. A quite 'yes or no’ spills from his lips to which Andrew responses by pulling Neil close, draping Neil’s legs over his, and holding him so gently it only makes Neil cry more. But it’s not from sadness. It’s from the fact that Andrew still wants him. Andrew is upset that this hurts him, that he hurts himself. That Andrew wants to help.
It’s the softest, quietest thing Neil has ever heard from Andrew’s mouth when he raises the percentage to 306%. Neil chokes. This morning it was 256%. It raised 50% because that’s how worried and caring Andrew was. It wasn’t the 'I love you’ the Foxes were betting on but it made Neil cry nonetheless.
They stay on Betsy’s couch while she goes to get Neil’s prescriptions filled, and when she returns she hands them to Andrew, giving Neil and apologetic smile. He doesn’t need it. He’s glad Andrew has them.
They return to Fox Tower and stay locked in their dorm for the day, ignoring all the Foxes. Kevin doesn’t even knock or yell once at the locked door or them not practicing. Neil guesses Andrew settled it.
The next morning Andrew hands Neil six pills and a glass of water with breakfast. Neil swallows them and after a quiet 'yes or no’, Neil starts a good day.
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