#except name pun

[fidiecoffee]

hello tumblr !! this is a silly sketch / drawing i did of tsuyu recently that i thought was kinda silly. if i am being for real, i probably wont digitalize it. but a man can dream 🤝 anyways i love her ffor realz and find her 2 be SILLY. hoping this captures the silliness and buffoonery and lack of thoughts in her mind 🙏

this was sketch from b4 i shaded it in :3 SILLY SILLY SILLY RAGHHH who the hell gave me access to making long posts bruh

[ozymoron]

i dont think i actually like shipping for like normal shipping reasons im pretty sure i only like ships cause i like seeing boys kiss and girls kiss especially if what they have going on is fucked up and weird

[sporco-filth]

Episode 1 - The Finale

This is the 'pilot' of that sitcom about slobs I described before.

Synopsis:

The finale of Tom’s favourite anime is airing, but a black out in the apartment complex risks ruining his plans. Kyle and Felix go to fix the problem but get locked in the basement. In order to watch his show (and save his friends) Tom must face his greatest nightmare: doing something.

[Kyle opens his door and sees Felix walking up the stairs, carrying a toolbox]

Kyle: Hey, Felix! Just the guy I wanted to see.

Felix: Yeah?

Kyle: You hungry? Fed and I are going out to grab a bite.

Felix: Sorry, Jess called. She has a leaky pipe that needs fixing.

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He’s about to leave when an idea comes to mind]

Kyle: Actually… I have a bit of a plumbing job you could help with.

Felix: Really?

Kyle: Yeah. I need my pipes cleared. You think you can come round later tonight?

[Kyle gives a suggestive look. Felix scratches his chin]

Felix: I guess I could. What exactly is stuck in it?

Kyle: Cream.

Felix: OK? You can’t just flush it out yourself?

Kyle: I guess I could, but it’s really, really hard. And I don’t want to do it alone.

Felix: Can’t Fed help?

Kyle: I was thinking we could do it together.

Felix: Really? I’m sure it’d be an easy one man job.

[Kyle sighs]

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He walks back inside and closes the door]

Felix: Huh? What do you mean?

[No response. Felix goes back to climbing the stairs.]

Felix (to himself): Clearing his pipes…? Oh…

[Realisation hits]

Felix: Heh that is kinda funny.

~Opening Credits~

[Kyle’s outside Tom’s door and knocks]

Kyle: Hey, Tommy! Open up!

Tom: It’s open.

[Kyle enters. We see Tom’s apartment. It’s dark, lit up only by the massive TV screen. Tom’s lying on the couch snacking on a bag of chips.]

Tom: [without looking up] What?

Kyle: Fed and I are going out for dinner. You wanna come?

Tom: Can’t. Got plans.

[He eats a chip and stares blankly at the TV.]

Kyle: What plans?

Tom: I’m watching Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Kyle: Isn’t that that dumb anime about the mermaid guy who has like weird singing powers?

Tom: It’s not dumb! It’s a masterfully crafted show that explores themes of love and purpose while skillfully blending epic battle sequences with stunning musical numbers. The show’s been going on for 13 years, with 338 episodes, five feature-length films and a spin-off series. The final episode airs tonight at ten thirty and I refuse to miss a second.

Kyle: But it’s only seven. You can come to dinner and get back before it starts.

Tom: Yeah, but they’re also showing a marathon of all the fan-favourite episodes before it and I want to watch that too.

Kyle: Suit yourself.

[Kyle leaves and heads across the hall to his place. Fed’s in the kitchen snacking.]

Kyle: Tom’s not coming.

Fed: Why not?

Kyle: Some stupid anime thing.

Fed: Oh! I completely forgot! Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu has its finale tonight. It’s the end of an era…

[Kyle rolls his eyes, then notices Fed eating.]

Kyle: Aren’t you going to ruin your appetite?

[Kyle scratches his bum.]

Fed: No, I’m warming up. I need to get my stomach ready to eat by starting with something light before it can digest a full meal. [He eats another handful and talks with his mouth full.] Did you ask Felix?

Fed: Yeah, but he said he’s got some dumb plumbing thing to do. I guess it’s just us.

[We cut to Felix who does something, the building completely blacks out.]

Kyle: What was that?

Fed: It’s a blackout!

Tom: [from offstage] THE ELECTRICITY! WHO TURNED OFF THE POWER!? WHAT HAPPENED!?

[A loud fumbling is heard and a crash.]

Tom: Oww…

[Kyle and Fed open the door. They shine a torch from their phone and find Tom lying on the floor.]

Fed: You OK?

Tom: I’m fine. I tripped running out the door.

Kyle: You? Running? This is serious.

Tom: Of course it is! Life without electricity isn’t worth living! Everything I love needs electricity: internet, video games, microwaved food, TV. And I’ll miss Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu! Wait, maybe I can livestream it from my phone…

[He opens his phone.]

Tom: OK, the wifi’s out, but I’ve got data still…

[The light from his phone goes black.]

Kyle: What happened?

Tom: It ran out of power.

Fed: That quickly?

Tom: Well, I meant to charge it this morning… but I couldn’t be arsed...

Kyle: That sounds more like our Tommy.

[Felix comes down the stairs using his phone as a torch.]

Felix: Hey, sorry about that guys…

Kyle: What do you mean?

Felix: I think it might’ve been my fault: Jess asked me to fix a leaky pipe and uh… well some water got on her hairdryer and there was a lot of scary sparks and stuff then it all went black.

Tom: What?! So it’s your fault I’ll miss the last ep of MSBT?

Felix: MS-what?

Fed: Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Felix: That’s tonight? Wow, I thought that show would never end.

Kyle: Am I the only one who doesn’t watch anime here?

Tom: Yes. [He turns to Felix] You have to fix this now! I can’t miss the finale.

Felix: All right, all right. I said I was sorry and I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry. The lights’ll be back on in no time.

Kyle: We better go talk to Bob. He should know what to do. Hopefully we can get it done quickly; I’d hate to see what Fed’ll do if the food in the fridge goes off.

Fed: Wait… the fridge!

[Fed runs back inside.]

Kyle: Me and my big mouth… [He turns to Felix and Tom] Well, you guys coming?

Felix: It was my fault after all; the least I can do is help fix things.

Tom: I’m too tired from trying to run before, you two go on without me.

[Tom slumps onto the ground.]

Kyle: I guess it’s just us two then. Let’s go.

[The scene changes to outside Bob’s room. Kyle knocks on the door.]

Kyle: Hey! Bob! Open up!

[A lot of rumbling is heard. The door eventually opens to show Bob, looking grumpy.]

Bob: Don’t tell me: you two are responsible for the blackout.

Kyle: No… just Felix.

Bob: I’ve had it up to here with you guys running to me whenever something goes bust here. It’s your mess, you clean it up this time.

Kyle: Bob, you know as well as I do that Felix doesn’t clean up anything, let alone his own messes.

Felix: Hey! I… yeah, that’s actually not wrong…

Bob: Here [he pulls out a ring of keys]: go down to the basement and you can find the circuit breaker. It’s probably just a matter of flicking a switch or something.

Felix: Which switch?

[Bob slams the door.]

Kyle: (Sigh). Let’s get this over with. Tom’s probably having a fit by now.

[Scene shifts back to the hallway. Tom’s fallen asleep on the ground.]

[Back in Fed’s kitchen, Fed opens the fridge.]

Fed: All right. Operation Save Food From Spoiling is go. I guess we’ll start with the cold meats…

[He grabs a pack of prosciutto and dangles a slice down into his gullet.]

[Outside the basement door, Felix is trying out the keys. Finally he gets the one that works.]

Felix: Got it!

[He opens the door to reveal the basement, which is filled with broken appliances and old boxes.]

Felix: Now, where’s this circuit breaker…

[They shine their torches around… maybe some funny quips happen.]

Kyle: Found it!

[The guys go over to it.]

Felix: It’s locked. I bet the key’s with the others.

[The door slams shut.]

Felix: Ah, Kyle.

Kyle: Yeah?

Felix: Have you got the keyring?

Kyle: No, I thought you had it.

Felix: Well I don’t.

[Felix goes to open the door but it’s locked.]

Kyle: Ok… This isn’t good.

Felix: Don’t worry, we can call Fed.

[He pulls out his phone.]

Kyle: It’s not just the door. It’s not good because I can feel a fart coming.

[Felix’s face falls.]

Felix: Oh no… please Kyle I beg you, hold on!

Kyle: You’ve got like a minute.

[He rings Fed.]

[The scene returns to the kitchen, Fed is now eating the last slice of a cheesecake. His phone rings and he picks it up.]

Fed: Yeah?

Felix (through the phone): Fed! You’ve got to come downstairs to the basement. We got ourselves locked in.

Kyle (through the phone, yelling): YOU got us locked in!

Felix: Yeah, anyway. We need you to open the door; the keys are in the lock. Please hurry! Kyle’s holding back a lot of gas.

Fed: I’ll be right there!

[He hangs up and tries to stand, but clutches his belly, flopping back down.]

Fed: Ooh… I’m not feeling too good…

[His stomach gurgles loudly.]

Maybe I can get Tom to go…

[He drags himself to the door, which is still open, and yells out.]

Fed: Tom! Tom!

[Tom snores. Fed throws the slice of cheesecake at him that he was still holding. Tom wakes up with a start.]

Tom: Huh? What was that for?

Fed: Felix and Kyle got locked in the basement and I’m not in any state to be climbing stairs. I need you to go down and open the door for them.

Tom: I ain’t going down there. Not without the elevator. Do you know how many steps that is?

Fed: You have to! Kyle’s got a massive fart brewing. Felix hasn’t built up a tolerance to Kyle’s gas like I have; he’ll suffocate!

Tom: I don’t care. Let him suffocate. I’m not walking down those stairs. I already ran today.

Fed: You ran like ten steps.

Tom: That’s ten more than I’ve run in the past five years.

[Fed tries to move closer, but his stomach gurgles and he stops, clutching it in pain.]

Fed: Please… if you don’t go… then you won’t be able to watch MSBT.

[Tom sits up straight.]

Tom: Argh, you’re right… For Tsugihara, I shall do it.

[Felix hands him his phone.]

Fed: It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.

[Tom stands up and wields the phone above his head, the torch light on.]

Tom: With the power of the Seven Seas flowing through me, I shall banish the darkness!

[Tom slowly walks down the stairs.]

Fed: You could go a little faster…

[Back in the basement. Kyle is straining.]

Felix: Please, hold it in!

Kyle: I don’t know if I can do it (grunt). This one feels pretty strong.

Felix: You must!

[Tom on the stairs, slowly going down. He pauses to catch his breath.]

Tom: Whew… I don��t know if I can do it… it’s so many steps.

Fed (from upstairs): You’ve only gone down half a floor.

Tom: I could do without the running commentary, thank you!

[In the basement. Kyle is sweating.]

Kyle: I’m sorry Felix… Ahhhhh…

[He relaxes and farts. It’s long and loud. Felix covers his mouth with his top.]

Felix: GAH! HELP! HELP!

[The door opens and Tom appears. He immediately covers his mouth.]

Tom: Ugh! I come all this way to save you and this is how you repay me?

Felix: Tom! My saviour!

[He grabs Tom into a hug. Tom pushes him off.]

Tom: OK, OK. That’s enough. I did this for Tsugihara, not you. Here: I believe you lost these?

[He hands out the keys. Kyle takes them.]

Kyle: I’ll take it from here. You guys should head up to get some fresh air.

Felix: I’m not sure my nose will recover from this…

[Tom and Felix leave the room. Kyle goes to the circuit breaker and opens it.]

Kyle: Let’s see…

[He flicks a switch and, after a bit of a sluggish start, the lights flicker back on.]

[Back upstairs, Fed, still eating, sees the lights turn on.]

Fed: They did it! Yes!

[He jumps up but immediately regrets it and clutches his stomach.]

Fed: Oooh…

[Soon after, the guys enter the room.]

Felix: I’m sorry again for all the trouble I caused, but I guess it’s all fixed now.

Tom: And not a moment too soon. I’ve got a finale to watch, see ya.

[Tom leaves. Kyle notices Fed’s discomfort.]

Kyle: You alright there?

Fed (not alright): Yep. Just a bit of a stomach ache… I ate too much too fast… And it’s like the UN down there: I don’t think that leftover Chinese is getting along with the Indian curry.

[His stomach gurgles ominously.]

Fed: Uh oh…

[All of a sudden, Fed releases a loud fart.]

Felix: No! Not again! Ack-urgh!

[He runs out of the room.]

Fed: Sorry Kyle…

Kyle: Heh, no stress. I’ll love you no matter how bad you stink. After all, you have to put up with my stenches, now it’s my turn to deal with the smell.

Fed: Aww, you’re so sweet.

Kyle: And anyway, [he gently rubs Fed’s gut while savouring the smell]  you know that it kinda turns me on. How about we cancel dinner and have some fun at home?

Fed: I think that sounds wonderful. Also, I may have just eaten everything in the fridge…

[In Tom’s room, he’s now settled back on the couch and ready to watch TV.]

Tom: Ah, at long last…

[The MSBT theme music plays. Suddenly it stops.]

News host: We interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news bulletin.

Tom: No! Don’t interrupt!

News host: His Excellency the Honourable Sir Arthur Vandeleigh, former Governor-General of Australia, has died peacefully in his sleep.

Tom: Come on, come on…

TV host: We have a three-hour obituary scheduled in honour of this great man who valiantly served his country.

Narrator: Though he may have inhabited the role for only three months, Arthur Vandeleigh’s tenure as Governor-General was…

Tom: NOOOOOO!

~End Credits~

[braisedhoney]

Mmmmmm what if Narry’s scarf adventure line is sentient like each one of those head it manifest is sentient and they are the little helper for Narry. If he’s in danger they go berserk

oh you mean like doc ock’s actual metal arms!

on some level this is kinda already semi-canon (fanon?) for my version of narry as it is—the scarf-line-thing (that i still don’t know how to label) can definitely move independently from his limbs, and i usually draw ‘em moving in response to whatever happens to him whenever they’re not draped over his arms because i think the aesthetic is cool and it helps take up empty space on the canvas.

the difference is that they don’t have actual emotional reactions to anything though since they’re not really sentient, just extensions of whatever it is he wants to do. so in theory if he was in danger and feeling particularly aggressive/skittish as a result, he could end up using them to lash out and protect himself. or to grab a cup of… tea? coffee? whatever it is he drinks. maybe he drinks the steeped conceptualization of the color blue. vaguely eldritch creatures are weird like that.

[lulu2992]

But... What am I supposed to do with my life now?

[squirrelno2]

Jesse Lives AU, pt 3

In which Jesse deals with what he's learned and introductions are made.

Previous: 1, 2

Next: 4

Jesse wasn't sure how long he'd been here. Days were hard enough to gauge without a standardized timepiece when he was on a planet. Trying to guess how many standard days he'd been stranded when he was apparently on a moon might as well be impossible. Time went by in stretches of sleeping, careful nibbles at the rations he'd uncovered, and waiting out the pounding in his head.

The latter did not seem to change, no matter how he waited, but the only medics here were six feet under freezing ground. So he would simply have to keep waiting until it got better or it killed him.

Then the theelin showed up, wrapped up so thoroughly that Jesse could only see their eyes and the pale purple horns sticking out between their scarf and hat. Jesse didn't know what he wanted to accomplish, scaring the theelin away, but he knew he couldn't let some natborn pick at his vode's bones.

Then the theelin told him there was no Republic anymore, and Jesse's head had a new reason to pound.

He let the stranger explain to him how, after the Jedi betrayed the Republic, the Chancellor had taken ultimate control and declared it an Empire. Jesse didn't know much about political structures, but he didn't like the sound of that. The Republic had been about voting, and sharing ideas, and freedom. He remembered being five and asking questions about the people they fought for. Everything he'd been told convinced him the Republic was going to let him in too, someday. Just like they did all those planets that were trying to leave now.

Jesse had been sure he'd never leave. If he had a vote, he'd use it every day.

And now the Senate he'd placed his hopes on was nearly powerless.

"What about the army?" Jesse mumbled.

"I mean, it's not like millions of soldiers are going anywhere," the theelin said. "But I heard most of the clone troopers got recalled."

Jesse's stomach lurched.

It wasn't like Tup, he told himself. It wasn't like all the times the Kaminoans pulled someone out of training for study or maintenance work or something worse. It was just... Regrouping. And if Jesse went there he'd be folded back in easily.

The Empire thing, though... The Chancellor had declared Ahsoka an enemy of the state. And because of that order, Jesse had once again ended up aiming a blaster at a brother.

"Hey," said the theelin as Jesse's head started to pound. "You, uh, need to throw up or something? I can stand over here -"

"Don't move!" Jesse snapped. "And stop treating this like it's all a joke, I - I need to think."

"Well, while you're thinking, can I do my job?" the theelin said, throwing their pack back over their shoulders. "I've got a crew full of very tetchy individuals waiting for me who don't understand that getting paid in scavenged parts means sometimes things break, and I'd rather not get stuck here because I didn't get what they asked for."

"No!" Jesse snapped. "You're not digging through this ship like it's a junkyard!"

"It might as well be!" the theelin said, exasperated. "Look, everyone but you is in the ground. The only reason I'm here today is because we saw evidence of the crash, and because I needed to make good on a few promises. There is nothing here your people need, nothing they want, because they are dead. Do you want to die with them? Or do you want to help me pick up a few things and see if we can barter passage for two instead of one?"

There were a lot of people Jesse had hated for far deeper reasons: Krell. Maul. The Techno Union fucks who treated Echo like a toy.

But right now, he really just hated this scavenger for acting like his vode's deaths were just a footnote. Worse, he hated that they were right.

"Anything I tell you not to touch, you leave," Jesse said, finally holstering his blaster. "What are you looking for?"

"Ideally I'd be able to get to the engines," the theelin said. "If not, communications equipment or the armoury. These ships had hangars, right? With smaller ships on board? Do you know if any of those survived?"

Jesse forced away the memory of Ahsoka and Rex flying away without him.

"I don't," he said. "This wreck isn't exactly stable, you know."

"I've been at this a while," the theelin said. "Though you'll probably want a helmet. I don't think that head of yours can take any more beatings."

"You haven't got one."

The theelin snorted and unpinned their scarf. With a smile that reached higher on one side than the other, they took off their hat and flipped it to reveal it was a miner's helmet, covered in a layer of fabric.

"How about you?" they said. Jesse itched to point his blaster at them again, a little revenge for their smug tone. He glanced down the rows of graves, wondering if he should retrieve his helmet.

"I'm fine," Jesse said.

The theelin sighed and started to dig through their bag. To Jesse's surprise, a second later they tossed a second helmet at his chest. He stumbled catching it.

"Safety first," the theelin taunted. "Come on, clone."

"Don't call me that," Jesse snapped.

"Then tell me what to call you," the scavenger said, still mocking.

"My name is Jesse."

Something about the way he spat the words seemed to finally give this irreverent bastard pause. They looked him over, then nodded and held a rope out to him.

"I'm Jale."

"Like where you should be?" Jesse muttered.

Jale rolled their eyes.

"Never heard that one before."

[arolesbianism]

I had a dream last night that there was a new bndori band and they were a bunch of tall gangly losers with matching purple hair and their band name was smth to do with causing terror or smth. Their music banged and they were all idiots and Im now considering making them real cause god I'm sad they aren't ykfjfndjf

[mlentertainment]

drag king name ideas:

dick trickle

dykael gay cox (too many puns? it's supposed to be a play on mjf)

guillermo del whoro

david cop-a-feel

[greatwyrmgold]

Fun fact! The French title for Dungeon Meshi is Gloutons et Dragons, "gluttons and dragons," a pun on Donjon et Dragons, "Dungeons & Dragons".

Delicious and dragons

[bandsanitizer]

neobong 🤝 rm

[sunflowertrick]

//will be going through to properly tag everything but here's a collection of character mention tags for this blog bc if I don't organize everything I'll die<3

[21st-century-minutiae]

"Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" is a famous 20th century quote by Ronald Reagan regarding the Berlin Wall, which was a physical barrier that separated the east and west of Berlin which were under the hegemony of the Soviets and the US/Western Europe respectively. As Berlin was entirely within the eastern half of Germany, West Berlin was an exclave of West Germany that was physically isolated to the detriment of its population. In the early twenty-first century, there is debate as to whether the speech this quote was from led to the take down of the wall two years later, and if so, how great of an impact it was.

The above takes the quote and makes three 'spherical' puns. "Orbachev" for "Gorbachev", "Ball" for "Wall," and "Roundald" for "Ronald." This is nonsensical, even with the "explanation" that it takes place in a world of spheres. As added context for the joke, it is presented as an image of text inside a "draft" section. The implication is that the poster is projecting that they are not confident in the joke enough to post it directly . It is a commentary on writing silly puns as much as it is a silly pun itself.

[bpsimple]

bwaaauggg i never post on here but hi this was from lny

[pazza-di-te]

back at it again with bear!price x fem!reader

John's dick is hung, like big big and h u n g.

First time taking him, had to be a proper setting where pillow under you for support and John even got extra bottle of lube just to be safe. Dont wanna risk hurting the missus.

"S'big...John.."

"I know lovie... Takin me well."

As you slightly writhe from the feeling of the stretch, you look up to him and asked "Is it almost all in?"

And John has to pause a bit before answering "Yep. Almost there luv..." He said as he looks down where the two of you are connected and his dick is still HALFWAY in you.

After a while tho, the blood, sweat and tears slick, were all worth it since your brain is now all mushy and your thoughts evaporated from the power of his thrusts and sounds of wet skin slapping continously.

"J-John! Fffuck!- John- Suu... much!-"

"Stay with me n-now luvie-"

John's hips sputters and increases in speed as his desperstion to cum comes to action (pun intended?)

No other words come out of your mouth except the name of your beloved again and again and again again. What was even your own name?

Your brain goes back and forth from reality and the only thing you could hear and feel was john's entire being, his heavy breathing, his skin slapping into yours, his calloused hands, his deep grunts, his hairy chest pressing onto you, his arms hairier than usual, his teeth sharper.

The only you could feel was john, john here, john there, john john john

"John! Jo-John! Im cumming!-" your high pitched moans werent ignored as John's hand comes down between you and him to rub circles around your clit, successfully tightening your body and your stomach tensing just the right amount to-

"John!" your arms desperetly grab onto his back and leaving red welts on its wake.

John deeply groans as he feels your cunt tightening and milking him dry as he spurts his cream in you. As the both of you catch your breath.

He didnt even realize, his body almost got turned into his bear form

[crebbyhermit]

jan 2024/oct 2021

kurt redraw

[merge-conflict]

little bobby tables + engram johnny silverhand = little johnny zipbomb