#same happened with ed its all just nygmobblepot

[ozymoron]

i dont think i actually like shipping for like normal shipping reasons im pretty sure i only like ships cause i like seeing boys kiss and girls kiss especially if what they have going on is fucked up and weird

[fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes]

Chapter 3 of Revenge Can Hurt More Than the Person It's Aimed at (An Angsty Nygmobblepot x Reader Hurt/Comfort Fix-it Fic)

Chapter 3: The Interview

<-previous chapter

Very important new warnings: the (wrong) suspicion that Oswald wants to die & that he self-harmed/was close to killing himself), blood (only what was in this episode: a trophy covered in it & some on skin), canon betrayal (including gaslighting & intimidation) & poor mental state (self-doubt)

Word count: 2764

Wow, I'm really committing to this cover-for-each-chapter thing so far.

________________________________________

Oswald looked as if he had seen a ghost. His face was even paler than before, his eyes wide, and his back appeared crooked, not to mention how much more he was leaning on his cane. What the hell happened?

He nearly skidded over the floor, and raised his hands. "Sorry I'm late. Mayor stuff." He chuckled artifically, and limped to his seat, throwing you a nervous look with all pretense gone. When an assistant tried to attach a cable to him, Oswald snatched it away and adjusted it himself.

Trying to make him feel a little at ease, you began, "I got you a fresh gl-" but Margaret Hearst interrupted you, "I hope you're ready, Mr. Mayor." Oswald smiled and huffed a little.

"The world is watching."

Why did she have to stress the word that way? He scowled and you did the same.

Her lips were pursed smugly. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"And we're live in three..." What? That's way too soon!

"Good luck, Oswald!"

He put his hands into a less cramped position.

"Two..."

"You've got this!"

The cameras started rolling and Ms. Hearst put on a wide smile.

"Mayor Cobblepot, as Gotham is enjoying an historic spike in job growth and prosperity, it is also going through one of the safest periods of its history."

Oswald smiled but Looked at the floor momentarily. At least one thing to make you proud.

"And I'm sure everyone is wondering: how did you did you do it?" The interviewer raised the corners of her lips but her head was inclined to show that she distrusted him.

"Uh", Oswald closed his mouth and picked up the water of glass, letting a bit spill onto the table.

Oh no. That was an easy question, he shouldn't start using drinking water to buy himself time yet. Maybe I should get a new glass just in case.

You peered at the table to check how much was still in it when Oswald paused his movement and then quickly covered his right wrist.

What was going on?

He stared at Margaret Hearst with an open mouth and she looked back more puzzled.

You went to a monitor to possibly get a better look but his hand wasn't in the frame. Good. Whatever it was didn't need to concern the public.

Oswald closed his eyes, thinking about your encouragement from before and smiled for a moment, then managed to start, "Well..."

While he was fidgeting a little with his hands - though not as much as Ed sometimes did: he was still clutching his right wrist - he actually did quite well, responding eloquently and mentioning a few of his successes along the way.

"So from humble errand boy to kitchen worker to the so-called "King of Gotham", Oswald pressed his lips together, sensing something else than a compliment coming, "it is said that many died so you could rise."

The King of Gotham mustered up a smile, "Oh. An exaggeration. People love to invent scandal." He was putting in quite a lot of energy for how he was feeling today.

The notorious journalist wasn't impressed, "But it was murder that sent you to Arkham. A prison for the criminally insane."

"I," he dragged the word out for a second to find the right words, "rescued this city from the madman Theo Galavan. Some call it murder," he looked down to the side, "others a public favor." He smiled charmingly. At least he won you over with it.

Ms. Hearst continued confidently, "And after your...controversial release from prison," Oswald was tempted to look to you for support, "you met your father, Elijah van Dahl."

Oswald's gaze drifted across the room and landed on-no!

"A man whose identity your mother kept from you."

Oswald opened his mouth. His father! Walking through the room unseen by the security guards. He let out a breath of air and followed the ghost with his eyes, whispering, "Oh my god."

You looked at him alarmed, about to follow his gaze when someone from the camera team made a sudden movement that distracted you.

"Guess it must have been very upsetting."

"What?" Oswald turned his head to Ms. Hearst, "Yes." He looked away again.

The mayor was very distracted but it wasn't as if anyone from the team had noticed anything.

"He also died under suspicuous circumstances, his wife and step children disappearing soon after."

Elijah was holding the trophy Oswald had used to kill his chief of staff, still bloody, raised for Oswald to remember what he had done, not just today but to avenge his father's death.

What did he want him to know? That he was a failure? No, he had been so kind when he'd heard about his past. Advice perhaps? Advice on how to prevent losing you as well?

"I...I-I have to go." Oswald was looking back and forth between Ms. Hearst and something behing you but you were frozen in place, only looking at him.

No one seemed to see what he was looking at anyways. Is he hallucinating?Ed might be able to help with that. Maybe Os had that little sleep. The poor man looked ready to leave.

But Margaret Hearst wasn't done with him yet, "Why? Is it because there's substance to the rumor that you had them killed to inherit your father's wealth?"

Oswald stopped clutching his chair and stood up, "F-father, father, wait!" His voice was frail. With his movement he dragged the chair along audibly, knocking off the glass in the process.

"Oh!" Ms. Hearst exclaimed, "Are you feeling well, Mr. Mayor?"

Oswald began removing the microphone on his suit. "Uh, I'm fine. I-I'm great." He bowed down to her a little, still trying to leave, "Why would I not be fine?" He was still fumbling with the microphone.

"Well, the people of Gotham and America want to know the truth."

Oswald couldn't take it anymore: he ripped off the cord and snarled, "To hell with the people!"

This was it. Margaret Hearst had gotten her story. She looked into the camera and raised her eyebrows. Oswald wasn't needed anymore.

"Father, wait!"

He needed to follow him. He had to. You gave him wonderful support but only his father could give him counsel concerning love: what to do with his feelings for you, how to live with Ed's rejection, whether to deal with the heartbreak in silence or tell you as well as confess to you...and risk losing you too.

"Oswald!"

He turned around.

"Wait!"

"What's wrong?"

He held up a shaky hand. His left one, you noticed. "I can't tell you. Not yet."

"What do you mean "not yet"?"

He looked down, then behind you again, as if there was someone.

"Later. N-not now, at least." He tried to move past you but you stopped his wobbly walk with a hand to his chest.

"Where are you going?"

He gently cupped your hand and moved it down, giving it a small squeeze, then wincing slightly and putting the hand on the other one...his right one.

You needed to ask. Something strange was going on.

Oswald stopped near a mirror and realized horrified that there was a little blood on his face. He wiped it away frantically. "T-to the...bathroom."

You eyed him suspiciously, worried about his well-being.

He pocketed the tissue, his lips twitching from nervosity, his tense legs urging him to follow his father already.

If you discovered his hallucinating, what would you think? You'd think of him as a madman. You knew that his sanity certificate was fake. Who even was he to have one?! Moreover: who was he if he was really sane? In the eye of the public he was a disgraced mayor. A hypocrite. A criminal. A liar. Not even an honest criminal as he sometimes liked to call himself.

After the embarrassment seconds ago he couldn't see clearly, didn't realize how blind he was, that you still liked Ed, who had a fake sanity certificate as well, that you were right there, taking in his state concerned for someone you loved dearly.

He only saw the negative. He was a disappointment. To the citizens of Gotham, to Ed, to you, to his mother, his father...

He had publically made a fool of himself despite your presence, you, his savior, his everything recently.

Not his everything...father!

His face grew less grim. "Now if you'd excuse me."

Again he made a move and would have let him if there wasn't a very important thing you had to ask first, "Just a second!"

Oswald halted.

You reached out to him, attempting to speak calmly, "Your hand. What do you have there?"

You gave it a light touch, meaning to bring it into yours to inspect it.

He flinched, then stood frozen.

"N-nothing!"

"Let me have a look."

"No!" He held a hand in front of his mouth. That reaction was too strong. "I-I mean, it's nothing!"

Very unconvincing.

"Oswald, you can trust me with anything. Please tell me what's wrong."

He evaded your concerned look and you took your chance, looking down at the hand he hadn't raised. The white fabric bore a a red stain. You took in a sharp breath.

Oswald called your name. "What is it?" He looked at you again, a flicker of caution in his panic-stricken eyes.

"The...the blood, Oswald." You gestured to his hand that he was now covering again. "Why is there blood?"

He stared at your pleading eyes.

"Tell me what's bothering you and I can...I can help arrange some downtime for you. I'll look for an open space i-in your schedule and talk to your new Chief of Staff. He seems nice, I'm sure-hey, did I say something wrong?"

"N-no." He couldn't tell you that he'd killed said Chief of Staff. You just said that you liked him, and to be honest, Oswald would've never expected betrayal from him either. What if he was actually innocent?

You went on, "It's his birthday today, did you know that? I'm sure he's in a good mood. Plus, a lot of people like him, so..."

No, no, no, no! Oswald cursed his murder.

You noticed, "But please do continue telling me what's up with your arm or wrist."

Don't say anything about killing him to y/n. "I...I, uh, hurt myself", he tried to explain.

"What?" Stay calm, don't make him feel bad, you told yourself.

"Yes. I-it can happen." Oswald meant to make it reassuring, but to you, who knew how bad he was currently doing, it sounded like a possible confession to self-harm.

"Let me see."

Oswald's eyes widened and he turned to walk away, "I'd rather not."

"Oswald, let me have a look. I-I can help you."

"No!"

You shrank back.

What have I done? "You don't need to look at it, is what I meant. You already help me so much, dear-dear y/n." Ahh, I messed up! Why did that have to happen today?!

You didn't seem to care about his slip-up, "Whether it looks bad or not, I better inspect it so I can make sure that you have the right bandages ready."

He couldn't let you! You'd see that he had no injury at all! "It's nothing."

"Oh," you didn't believe him, "Good."

He was already walking away, "I'll pick up something from the office." Now he had an excuse for going there.

"Wait!"

He only walked slower, which made his explanation all the more suspicious.

"If it's nothing, then please let me see it anyway so I don't have to worry anymore."

This was a smart strategy. While Oswald may have been doleful and weak these last weeks, he had never stopped caring about your well-being.

Instead of assuring you however, he now continued walking, "Please, y/n, I need to be alone!"

"And I'm worried tha..." You couldn't tell him of your suspicions. What if he hadn't done anything in that direction and felt misjudged by you? Or worse: what if you'd somehow inspire him to do something similar?

Oswald saw your distressed concern and stopped, stabilizing himself on a wall, "Worried about what, y/n?" If something was bothering his dear friend so much, his father could could wait for a few seconds.

"Worried that you hurt yourself on purpose."

"Oh." What should he say now?

Usually, if you found out that he'd killed an innocent person, you'd be mad or "merely" disappointed. Either would sadden him immensly at present.

"I didn't. But thank you for your concern."

You peered at his right hand. He still wasn't showing you show you the wound.

The dumpish mayor followed your eyes and let his shoulders sink more. "Please believe me." He made a choked noise in the back of his throat. "It's all so-" he started to cry, "so much a-and-" He waved his left hand around in search for words, his eyes filling with more tears, "I-I...Ijustcan'ttalkrightnow." He looked away and put his left hand to cover his face.

"That's okay. I'm sorry that I stressed you out even more." You stepped closer carefully, not knowing what else to say. Returning your hug, Oswald weakly put one arm to your side.

You stroked over his shaking back. "It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be alright." You teared up.

Oswald nodded despite his extreme doubts. He'd need a miracle to- father!

He jerkily tore away from you. "I have to go."

"What?" You were suprised at this sudden change.

"One more minute here and I'll-I'll have a panic attack. Please don't...don't follow me. I'm just barely managing to...to talk." Will you wait for me?"

"Yes. Yes, of course. But what-"

"Go ahead and wait outside."

"Wh-" What was going on? 'I have to go' sounded...terrible to you! And why wait outside?

"Good." Oswald turned around-

"Wait!" You had to do something, say something, just in case. "Oswald, please wait."

God, hearing that tone in your voice hurt him! He turned his head back towards you.

"You...we...we need to talk about something very important."

"Yes, what is it?"

No no no no, he was supposed to say "Yes of course, we'll talk about that later"!

"I'll tell you later!" You sounded hopelessly dispaired by now. "Can you promise me that we'll do that?" You blinked some tear fluid out of your eyes, "Today?"

Oswald stood still still woth his jittery legs and hands. It must be important. You were hurting and he hadn't helped you yet. He wanted to sob again. "Yes." He took a deep breath. "Of course, y/n. Everything for you."

If not everything for Edward and you, than at least everything for just you.

"I promise."

You breathed out in relief. "Th-thank you."

He was still miserable though. He probably really needed space, whether he had lied to you or not. "I'll wait outside. And Oswald?"

He gazed at you full of hope.

"Don't think that interview ruined everything. You still control the crime world. And they know who you are. But even if you lost everything...you'd still have me."

Hopefully that would take some of the fear from his shoulders.

Oswald's breath hitched.

Those were big words. Words like "I love you", which you had already said today. Words like "I would do anything for you." Words like "more than friends"...and he'd eventually found out what all of those had really meant.

He immediately felt bad for playing his sadness and distress up.

He didn't want to and wouldn't try to find out the exact meaning of what you'd said. Not unless he wanted his heart to be broken a second time.

This time all of his emotional expressions were completely authentic. A new wave of tears threatened to overcome him and so he could only choke out, "Thank you."

Then he walked away.

You stood there, suddenly doubting your little try at ensuring he'd come back. Maybe you could go after him and make sure...no. He'd asked you not to. If you did, it might be his final tipping point to having a panic attack...or worse.

You slowly forced yourself to move, almost reflexively pulling out your telephone and dialling a familiar number.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep... It rang until you were almost outside.

"Ed", you said as soon as he picked up, "you have to tell me what happened between you and Oswald."

Author's note: The updates might take longer from now on, as I haven't begun writing the next ones yet or seen the episodes after season three episode 14 😂. This fic will probably go up to season 3 episode 16, so it's totally okay.

Things are so sad currently though 😭 So please let me know anything you like/think about this. It can be short, medium, long, whatever you want :)

Next chapter (4)->

[cowchickenbeefpork]

YES AUGHHHHHHHH I HATE HOW EVERYONE ACTS LIKE ITS UNREEDEEMABLE HORRID WRITING LIKE OUGHHHHH. they have. so much fucking shit together it’s so fucking crazy. Hhonestly I think I'm moreso drawn to their dymantic by the shit gotham never explored with them during the narrows arc if that makes sense??? There’s a lot that that you can connect and tie with them and mentally explore if you don’t reduce the characters down to their main relationships

my stupid reply here has been in my drafts for fucking months because I couldn’t articulate what exactly is the problem with people hating edlee in words and I think it’s because to them edlee is derailing both Ed and lee’s arcs. Why is it arc derailment to most? Because the see Ed getting to Oswald as fast as he can (and vise versa to Ed and Jim if they focus on JimLee too) as the characters getting better mentally when that’s not true. A lot of people conceptualize nygmobblepot and jimlee as kinda inherently good for the both of them, that this is just the couple bickering before they get together. By conceptualizing both nymobblepot and jimlee as inherently good for the characters and will “fix them” if they date, it not only diminishes anything which can be explored in edlee but it also simplifies those relationships. Oswald and Edward are not going to fix themselves by their love for eachother, their love is tied to their core issues with attachment it’s not making them unselfish and shit it’s weird to claim otherwise to me when both have been hurt by this kind of blind love attachment to others before. Just because they both act like this doesn’t mean it’s their fairytale ending. And the show does this whole fairytale ending with jimlee too, they practically force those characters back together because of some soulmate shit when there’s no reason for Lee to just forgive him so quickly and fall back in love instantly. Thank god this fandom does not treat jimlee with the same fervor as they do with nygmobblepot because i would not be able to take it, i do adore nygmobblepot but that whole fairytale view of their relationship is a huge reason why people hate edlee and Romantized nygmobblepot to the roofs to me. Edward is just expected to take any bullshit Oswald throws at him by the fans which is ridiculous, I would also be petty as fuck if a rich man tried to guilt trip me into giving him money after I broke him out of Arkham, saved his kid, ruined my back molars and have a stab wound to my thigh from hours of torture to help him ON TOP OF ALMOST GETTING MY BRAINS BLOWED OUT. everyone is always so fucking happy that Ed tried to find people like Oswald in 3x15 but get so pissy when he starts dating Lee for those same reasons. The show is kinda aware it’s heavily similar it’s not this unintentional thing to me at least

also I feel like people have too much Isabella ptsd when it comes to edlee. The narrative doesn’t portray them as love at first slight Lee is manipulating the shit out of him that’s canon the show isn’t saying “LOOK AT THIS WOMAN WHOS A BETTER PARTNER TO ED THAN OSWALD WILL EVER BE ED IS STRAIGHT” the show quite literally compares Lee to Oswald this is way less homophobic than the Isabella thing it barely is. Honestly if they just explained Ed’s hing a bit better the scene with Lee manipulating him would’ve totally worked, he’s been the guy who tosses out searching for more logic to cling to his random person obsession which he believes will save him for like every season now, him doing that with Lee isn’t really him being out of character it’s him GOING TO ANOTHER WAY TO GET SECURITY BY DOING THE SAME SHIT AGAINNN. Like honestly edlee is like the least sexist Gotham has ever gotten to a relationship in the show but these people are two obsessed with their two favorite male characters getting together that they’re willing to discard that fact because they wanna see Ed just brush off Oswald’s selfishness and everything that happened between them all at once for no reason. Idk if this makes sense I really hope I explained it good I just need to say this

[nygmobblepot-trash]

I know I've said this a thousand times but I don't care. I will remind people until the end of time.

What I really appreciate about Nygmobblepot is that they're complete opposites of each other. Ed is the brain, cold and calculating. Facts are facts and no amount of hope or willpower will change them. Oswald is the bloody and beating heart. Who cares about the odds? I want this and nothing will stop me. They're on opposite ends of the spectrum completely, each dialed to 100 on a 10 point scale.

But that isn't to say they aren't devoid of having those opposite traits. Ed can feel things, including love (which seems to be the hardest for him), he just locks it away. He thinks they hold him back, in reality he's scared of getting hurt or beaten (not physically). When Oswald sets his emotions aside he gets shit done. He lets his opponent think he's nothing, nobody, but in reality he's just buying time until his plan clicks in to place. In a game with moving parts and tons of players he still comes out on top because he's just that good. Unlike Ed, Oswald doesn't chose. He can't control his emotions... at all. Even when his brain is screaming at how dumb an action is he goes with what he feels.

And when they're together oh God it can be great... or awful. When the writers stop making up stupid reasons for the two to be fighting, they're a power house. Together they make a functional human being. The two extreme ends of the spectrum can be useful in certain cases. Sometimes you gotta listen to your heart sometimes its your head. Oswald about to be an impulsive asshole and get a world of hurt? Simple. Ed holds him back with reason. Normally reason never works on Oswald. His emotions are all too powerful, but he and Ed understand each other. When Ed says to stop there's a damn good reason. And most of the time Ed finds away for Oswald to get what he wants just at a later date or in a different way. It works the other way too. When Ed becomes too detached its Oswald who reminds him to check to see how he's feeling.

We got a little bit of this towards the end of Gotham. Ed killed the dummy and his ex assistant knowing damn well there would be consequences if they were left alive (or because of jealousy, but that's another post). Oswald cared for the man too much to do it himself. Ed even made the argument when Oswald got mad. Oswald knows who Ed is and why he does or doesn't do anything.

The opposite happens with the submarine. Oswald chooses to stay and help fight. Ed tries to use logic but Oswald knows in his heart this is right. He tells Ed to do the same and leaves. Ed eventually does this and realizes his place next to Oswald. He argues that its only because you need two people to pilot the sub. We find out later this is false as Ras's daughter escapes with it.

I just wish we could've seen more peak character development Nygmobblepot. They know each other to a T and are completely done with betrayals. They trust each other 100 percent.

[faakeid]

fab nygmobblepot moments that remind you of kd uwu

OMGGGG AHDAHDUIADHAD

I want to use this moment to be sorry to everyone that follows me but keeps seeing my blog full of Nygmobs/Smaylor instead of kaisoo. I usually don’t get attached to otps like this and it happened in an unexpected way for me. But it’s here and I need to compensate for all the years I didn’t watch Gotham and had no idea about Nygmobs spamming everyone and making my heart warm.

But in general, nygmobblepot isn’t a vision of ideal relationship. Both Edward and Oswald (their surnames Cobblepot and Nygma were the ones who originated this name) are stupid and do stupid shit to each other during most of the series. So, a lot of moments related with the actors counterpart (Robin is the actor who plays Oswald and Cory who plays Ed) reminds me of kaisoo more. But a warning here! Although they have a HUGE chemistry on and off screen, they’re mostly friends. Robin is married for almost ten years so it doesn’t mean their closeness is romantic or sexual. But still, some details remind me of kd.

Similarities with nygmobs:

Height difference: it applies to Smaylor as well because it’s their height but it’s really visible in the series. Cory is a bit taller than JI I think and Robin is like 1.65 but KS is not that taller (I can’t believe he’s 1.73 at all, sorry). But, again, this factor is evident during the series and in some moments and it’s cute.

(the way he moves his feet to reach Ed’s head ;_;)

(when they hug, Oswald barely reaches his shoulders [their hugs are the equivalent to kisses in Gotham])

the closest gif I could find where we can see kd’s height difference without me stealing other people’s gifs.

Penguin reference? That’s pretty obvious. Of course I didn’t start shipping nygmobs because one of them is small and has the Penguin nickname but it made so much easier for me to read some of their fics with kd as characters because they fit the profile so much! And also, I believe KD would totally fit the “murder husbands” couple if someone did a fanfic where they just kill everyone. The closest I remember of a fanfic with this criteria is Juice Pouche where Kyungsoo is a vampire and he protects Jongin and Jongin is kind of badass as well. But the kd fandom needs more fics like this. There’s also “(Before the night is over) come see me” where KS is also a vampire and JI a young werewolf but it focuses more on their relationship than a murder husbands idea Gotham shows so well. 

How they met: Gotham’s history has a lot of differences if you compare with other universes, so keep that in mind. In Gotham, Ed works with GCPD but doesn’t feel like himself with the good side. Oswald is the character that spices things up and is a rage of death and destruction and manipulation. But Oswald is infatuated with Jim Gordon (so isn’t the first time it’s implied Penguin is gay) but he goes to the police department to see him. Ed sees him and wants to talk to him no matter the cost. And he does that... And things don’t end that friendly for him because Oswald thinks he’s a weirdo and asks him to fuck off, basically. It reminded me of kd’s first meeting where KS was the one admiring JI all along but JI get frightned. But, during their second meeting, they bond and become friends. For Nygmobs it takes more time for their second meeting but they end up developing and being in good terms :’)

Their personas, sort of: Ed is the tall one, younger and logic. Oswald is the oldest, smaller and that thinks with his heart. I love how JI could show the more logic side of himself during the last few years and, again, while reading Nygmobs fics using kd names, it was easy to fit the profile for me (that was during the time I wasn’t too deep into nygmobs and I didn’t knok them that well. KS looks cold and deatached and that’s why many people got impressed when he said, during Knowing Bros that he would choose love over friendship. He doesn’t play the part but, considering all the context, it fits him pretty well and reading this description of Oswald made me so familiar because it fits KD well. Ofc I don’t know their private lives and whatever but it’s just the impression I had as a viewer and random person;

Drama issue: when I say drama here, it’s related with how people percieve the two OTPs and how different people visualize LGBT relationship in media. Nygmobblepot had a lot of drama involved because they’re the fucking Riddler and Penguin, two of the most famous Batman villains. People saw them in different sorts of media before and others idolize those characters because of videogames and comics. So, when Oswald mentioned expressedly that he was in love with Edward, it caused an uproar in the fandom. People accused the producers and Robin of messing with the comic canon because the fucking Penguin became gay??? Robin was outspoken about the homophobia behind those statements since he’s a gay man himself but yeah, the drama existed. Part of the people invovled with the series rooted for Nygmobblepot, including some writers and the actors (Cory was the one with ambiguous messages about the nature of their relationship but it’s not even close what happened with other series like Supergirl, Supernatural and Sherlock). But it was aired by FOX, a right wing channel and, as you may imagine, they didn’t become canon per se. Actually, after Oswald said he was in love with Ed and planned on confessing to him, the writers presented a clone of Ed’s ex girlfriend with no explanation and purpose, only to separate them for most part of the series future. After that, some people seemed to have FORGOTTEN Oswald was once in love with Edward, rationalizing many things that are hard to explain with a “bro explanation”, they had a scene where the characters would have evolved even more but it was CUTTED and CHANGED and execs added the sentence “we’re brothers” to make EXPLICIT that Nygmobblepot’s relationship wouldn’t be interpreted as a romance at the end of the series (but, honestly, the actors went for the romance path anyway, the deleted scenes and the final episode can’t convince me otherwise).

What’s related with KD, may you ask? I think you’re familiar with all the drama KD faced since 2016 and how many stuff exploded during that time. How many parts are involved into creating a certain image and shifting it to be appealing and “friendly” is similar with what happens with idols. It’s no secret now about many scandals of bullying and other issues that are considered problematic and how they need to be pushed under the rug for companies so idols can make money and be profitable. Especially for male idols, it’s important that they are viewed as desirable and an object of the fans affections. That’s why he needs to be handsome and kind and look like a person that doesn’t exist. If an idol is openly gay, this person isn’t viewed by the major public with the same interest because they can’t fit the fantasy. That’s why scandals involving idols being gay need to be forgotten and deleted from people’s minds, otherwise that celebrity is ostracized. Although we tend to see the Ocident as “progressive”, there’s similar things happening in that industry. If a celebrity is openly LGBT, they don’t receive certain roles or opportunities because of it. There’s still a huge stigma that needs to be broken and we, as a society, are so far way from it. But recognizing those differences exist it’s a step forward.

Similarities with Smaylor

For me, one of the reasons Nygmobblepot works so well is because of the actors. They portrait a good chemistry because of their friendship off screen and some non verbal signs they display around each other are amazing. Those are things that remind me more of KD as we see them in a lot of moments. So, I wanted space to show those comparisons below:

Mutual admiration: it’s something both Smaylor and KD display a LOT and is extrememly outspoken. I really love watching their old interviews because the affection and admiration is so genuine it makes me drawn to them despite not being romantically involved.

(full gifset)

(there are more moments than these but I don’t want to steal gifs and there’s not much on the gif research and that sucks. Same with KD’s).

Stares and touches: Robin was the responsible for the deep stares and Cory for the random touches. There’s so many gifs of it that is hilarious. It’s like JI divided himself in two cells because we know he’s more known for both >.<

(Cory was touching Robin all the way during this interview rip)

(the gifset!!!)

You’re pretty moment: Robin, like KS, is the one that mentions about Cory/JI’s physical attributes. They have a moment pretty similar and, for KD its famous among shippers:

(gif link)

(actually, Robin called Cory dashingly handsome but its okay)

Cory lost it

There’s another series of gifsets with Robin calling Cory handsome LMAOO

:))))

Synchronization: for specialists in body language, it’s a factor that shows two people are close. That’s because of the mirror neurons we have that makes us copy movements, actions or words that someone we have empathy/we are close with do or say. Both kd and smaylor do this and it’s really soft.

(one of the classics)

(classic 2)

whole gifset (i love this interview so much)

(gif)

The fact the actors came up with their OTP names: people tend to forget that KD’s real otp name (according with Jongin) is dika. Cory also came up with Nygmobblepot name and Smaylor too <3

So, meanwhile Nygmobs has thropies that work a lot with KD AUs, Smaylor has healthy dynamics seen in public appearances KD made. Like I said above, there’s a huge polemic about shipping Smaylor romantically because Robin is married. On social media, is visible he loves his husband and it’s pretty cute to see. Cory himself mentioned that their relationship was sort of a platonic friendship (whatever that means) but it’s really genuine in terms of affections and display of admiration, something KD has as well.

Probably someone will question that it may changed the way I see KD or if now I ship them as bros. Nothing about that changed. With KD, although there are some similar details, there are internal AND external factors that made me support them in a romantic perspective in the first place. And it didn’t change. 

But both of them (Nygmobs too) make me feel that I’m testimoning something genuine, which is really hard in both kpop and media universes. In one side, we have a LOT of fanservice. And, in the other, it’s mostly a work interaction with lots of queerbating. Yes, Gotham has queerbating aspects in it but it’s not full of queerbating, if it makes sense. The message the actors and some writers wanted to convey are there and really display a romantic direction with character evolution and growth. And, considering the way media is nowadays, it’s nice to see.

[thedeevirus]

Hi, I’m a big fan of your work! I’d absolutely die for some more Star Wars Nygmobblepot if your still open to prompts and such.

Thanks so much!  Please enjoy!

Also uploaded to Nygmobblepot Ficlets on AO3

***

‘Rigid. Sterile. Unimaginative’.

‘I’m sorry Master. I don’t know what’s-Ow!’

Ed rubbed his forehead where Oswald had jabbed it with his forefinger.

‘You keep letting this-‘

Oswald withdrew his finger and pointed it at Ed’s chest instead.

‘-get in the way of this!’

‘I, uh, see’, Ed said, touching his chest thoughtfully.

‘Really?’ Oswald asked sceptically.

‘I will, don’t worry’, Ed said, ���Are you alright by the way?’

‘W-why do you ask?’ Oswald said, sheathing his saber.

He walked to a nearby rock and took a swig from a canteen. A group of disturbed fluorescent insects that cheeped musically as they swirled into the air. Ed sheathed his own saber and regarded their surroundings. The twilight bathed the forest in vibrant red and purple shades and the scent of large flowers hung heavy in the warm air. The forest floor was soft beneath Ed’s feet as he walked to join Oswald. The insects fluttered amongst the canopy as living miniature lanterns.

‘Your overhead strike was slower than usual’, Ed listed, ‘Your left heel lifted which robbed the move of most of its power and you totally neglected to impose any spiritual pressure to prevent me from parrying the blow’.

Oswald had just finished absorbing Ed’s tactical analysis when Ed gave a start.

‘Wait a second, are you holding back?! Because if you are, there’s no need! I can do it! I just need to-!’

‘No, no!’ Oswald said hastily, ‘I just don’t want to damage my apprentice. At least, not this early into practice’.

‘You would never hurt me’.

Ed blinked as he felt a sudden cool gust of wind slice against his cheek and realised that Oswald had just sliced cleanly through a large boulder to his left. As he watched, the huge stone split apart then crumbled into smaller pieces. Ed blinked again to clear the dust from his eyes as the glimmering insects scattered. Oswald’s speed had been impressive but Ed had felt the energy shockwave of the move. Which meant that Oswald had still clearly restrained his strike. Usually when Oswald attacked, the unfortunate target (and all those around it) never had time to feel anything before the inevitable. Intriguing.

‘So certain all of a sudden’, Oswald smirked, his extended arm the only sign that he had moved at all.

‘I thought Sith are expected to deal in absolutes’, Ed joked easily, ‘You’re my Master. I trust you’.

‘Another mistake’, Oswald said, smile fading, ‘I’ve told you. You can’t trust anyone’.

‘I’m beginning to realise the Sith and Jedi aren’t so different’, Ed mused, leaning against a gnarled tree, ‘I always thought the Jedi were the ones who were forbidden to let people in. They can’t even love someone’.

‘The Jedi are “they” now?’ Oswald said, amused.

‘What’s the point in them defending a galaxy they can’t love? People they can’t love?’

Ed nodded gratefully as Oswald offered him the canteen. He drank long and deeply. It was a welcome relief from the humidity.

‘I personally assume it’s because of an over inflated sense of hypocritical self-importance’, Oswald said.

‘Have you ever loved someone?’ Ed asked, offering Oswald the canteen.

‘What does it matter?’ Oswald said, sloshing the contents thoughtfully.

‘Just curious. The instructors used to warn us about the Sith. Their dark rituals and the accompanying carnal pleasures-‘

Oswald choked and sputtered.

‘Do all Jedi had such vivid imaginations?!’

‘Just me I guess’, Ed laughed.

‘Still, love is one area that the Jedi and I happen to agree on’, Oswald said, shuffling, ‘It’s nothing but a distraction. A chain that ties you down and a weakness that I-we cannot afford. You said it yourself when you talked about the Jedi you killed. You are better off unencumbered. Free of doubt. Like me’.

‘I thought we swore to always tell each other the truth?’ Ed asked, brow furrowing.

‘Truth is created and enforced by the strong’.

‘I don’t understand. You lecture me about letting down my defences and letting my feelings guide me but you’re not willing to do the same?’

‘It’s time to get back to saber practice’, Oswald said, unsheathing his saber.

‘When should I construct my new saber?’ Ed asked, turning his own blade over in his hand.

‘When I say you’re ready’.

‘I meant to ask earlier. Why has yours changed colour?’

‘I prefer purple. That’s all. Take your stance’.

‘But I thought all Sith Masters had red sabers because the crystal changes over time the more you bask in the glory of the Dark Side-?’

‘I commend your Jedi powers of perception but…’

He flung out a hand and Ed felt himself shoved back. He flipped away and stood tall, saber raised, annoyed at how Oswald had caught him off guard.

‘-the colour is the least of your concerns right now’, Oswald grinned.

Ed leapt forward and they began.

‘You will tell me what’s bothering you’, Ed said after a few minutes.

‘Seriously?!’ Oswald guffawed at Ed’s suggestive hand movement, ‘A mind trick?!’

‘Tell me why you’re going easy on me!’ Ed snapped, ‘You’ve done nothing but fight defensively since we started!’

Ed saw a bright flash of purple and smelt the acrid scent of Oswald’s blade. He barely had time to dodge and even then, tasted copper in his mouth. He jumped away and touched his lip. Warm blood stained his finger.

‘Is that more to your liking?’ Oswald asked wickedly.

‘You will tell me why you won’t let me in’, Ed said solemnly, taking a double handed grip.

‘You’re wasting both of our time with these tricks’, Oswald said, circling him, ‘As well as your energy’.

‘No. There’s something else you’re hiding’, Ed said, mirroring Oswald’s steps, ‘I sense it. It’s something recent. Something you didn’t expect. Something that frightened you’.

Like lightning, Oswald closed the distance and their blades clashed.

‘Stop it. Now’, Oswald growled.

‘Make me’.

‘I’m not holding back!’

Ed dropped and swept Oswald’s bad leg. Oswald fell hard with a cry. Ed lowered his saber to Oswald’s throat. As Oswald glared up at him, Ed couldn’t keep a smile from his face. Oswald looked like a pouty child!

‘Then you’re not the master I thought you were’.

Ed looked up, as if considering.

‘Riddle me this-ah!’

He ducked as a stone was launched at his head and cursed at his own hubris. It was utter stupidity to take eyes off Oswald, especially when he was supposedly helpless.

‘Still clinging to pathetic Jedi mind games?’ Oswald mocked.

As if to underscore Ed’s mistake, he flicked his fingers out, showering Ed with a hail of petty shale shrapnel.

‘Fun fact’, Ed said through gritted teeth as he spun the saber to deflect the stones.

‘What?! Another anecdote about those birds on your home planet and their eggs?’

‘You remembered?’ Ed chuckled.

Oswald snarled and they resumed sparring. Ed controlled his breathing and tried to ignore the harsh electric crackling as Oswald’s blade grew closer and closer.Finally, Oswald was getting serious.

‘Fun fact’, Ed repeated with feigned light-heartedness, ‘Jedi ‘mind tricks’ become more effective when the opponent is distracted’.

Oswald blinked in confusion at Ed’s offhanded observation which allowed Ed to thrust suddenly. Oswald parried at the last minute and both men struggled to overpower each other.

‘Now. Riddle. Me. This’, Ed said, straining, ‘I cannot be bought but I can be stolen with a glance. I’m worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?’

‘,,,passion’.

‘Beg your pardon?’ Ed asked, eyes narrowing at Oswald’s mumbled response.

‘Peace is a lie’, Oswald growled, ‘There is only passion! Through passion I gain strength’.

Ed ground his heels into the soil, readying himself, recognising the Sith mantra. And also what Oswald using it represented.

‘You are afraid’, Ed said, heart hammering in his chest.

The answer to Oswald’s restraint and indecision was there. He just couldn’t quite see it yet!

‘”Through strength I gain power”’.

‘You’re afraid of…me?’

‘”Through power I gain victory!”’ Oswald yelled.

He struck out with his hand suddenly. Ed once again mirrored the move and both men were flung away from each other. Oswald scrambled to his feet and advanced on Ed, saber raised high.

‘Through victory your chains are broken’, Ed whispered, ‘You helped me break my chains, remember?’

Oswald didn’t answer.

‘I think it’s my turn to teach you something’, Ed said.

He threw his saber and Oswald instinctively threw his own to counter. Ed saw his chance. He knew Oswald would counter him with his own move; no doubt as a punishment for irritating him. Ed flexed his fingers and felt the Force take hold of both sabers as they made contact. They clashed and both flew across the clearing into Ed’s waiting hands. He spun both at once flamboyantly, one raised up high, the other in a reversed grip.

‘How dare you presume to teach me anything Jedi?!’ Oswald snarled, stamping a foot.

Oswald’s fingers curled into claws and lightning sparked in his hands. Ed’s eyes widened. He had known Oswald was strong but not privy to the so called ‘Force Lightning’ technique. It was risky move by default but from the way it was striking the ground haphazardly, Oswald was not in the right state of mind to control it. Oswald had obviously had enough of their fight.

Ed inhaled and exhaled slowly. He knelt on crossed legs, sheathing both sabers as he laid them on the ground.

‘Do you yield, Jedi?’

Oswald clicked his fingers dramatically causing sparks to strike near Ed’s seated form. It was close enough for Ed to enact his plan. Ed closed his eyes and opened his palms simultaneously. The lightning arced into his palm like an alighting insect and swirled into  a harmless vortex. Contained and controlled. Ed’s eyes snapped open as he stood up and raised both hands high. The lightning flashed upwards as it was drained from Oswald and dissipated harmlessly into the clouds with a rumble that almost sounded resentful.

‘I am no Jedi’, Ed said, unable to keep a grin off his face at Oswald’s naked shock.

Oswald surged forward, ready to resume his assault but stumbled. He reached for his purloined saber as he fell. The saber twitched but did not fly to his hand as it should have. Ed walked to Oswald and knelt down. Oswald tried to rise but Ed placed both hands on his shoulders gently. The lightning had truly exhausted the last of Oswald’s energy reserves and he only struggled for the briefest of moments. Ed lowered Oswald down gently. Ed straddled him, his own energy flagging, as thunder rumbled overhead.

‘You see? You would never hurt me’, Ed said breathlessly, ‘Now, where were you? “Through victory your chains are broken”’.

‘The Force shall free you’, Oswald whispered, sighing heavily in defeat.

‘No’, Ed corrected, ‘You freed me’.

Oswald laughed shakily.

‘You’re so much more than I could have ever hoped for’, he said, ‘Now, take your reward’.

Ed knew what he was expected to do by Sith tradition. He had beaten his master in combat and the weak had no place in the galaxy. Oswald had even turned away to better expose his neck for Ed’s killing stroke. This was tradition as well; the last chance for a defeated Sith to show he was unafraid of the inevitable. But Oswald’s eyes were glistening and Ed was surprised to sense the unshed tears weren’t because of fear. They were tears of regret. Sorrow that their partnership had ended so soon. Disappointment that his apprentice had chosen such a weak master. A master that couldn’t even bring himself to answer such a simple Jedi riddle.Ed realised that Oswald, apparently feeling he had nothing more to lose, had completely dissolved his mental defences and the emotions crashed over Ed like waves against a shoreline. An aching loneliness. A calm, companionable silence. Happiness in a shared joke. A swelling pride. A sudden uncontrollable, terrifying, desire for more. Forever and ever. The awful realisation that the saber, somehow, impossibly had lost its hard earned crimson colour, threatening to expose his vulnerable heart for all the world to see. Fear of being denied if he confessed anyway. The terror of rejection. The dread of how Ed would look at him. The vibrant, electric pulse whenever Ed smiled at him. The resignation that Ed was destined to kill him to become what he was destined to be. And finally, the emotion that had begun as a dull roar became a howl from the depths of the soul, suffusing Ed’s body with warmth. Ed knew the name of this emotion and now in this moment, he knew this was what he, unbeknownst to Oswald, had been feeling as well: Love.

‘My reward’, Ed repeated around the lump in his throat.

Oswald’s eyes closed and Ed knew what he wanted. What he had wanted for a long time. What Sith wanted, they took.

Their lips met and everything else fell away.It was like nothing Ed had ever felt before and his body surged with new, erotic sensations, setting his nerves alight. He felt his powers bleed from him as his control slipped, shaking the trees, scattering leaves and blossoms around the clearing. He was vaguely aware of nearby rocks shaking and rising from the ground, the Force flowing through them, through Oswald, through him… It felt natural. It felt wonderful. It was perfect.

After what simultaneously felt like an eternity and bizarrely not long enough, Ed drew back.

Oswald’s eyelids fluttered as he gasped. Ed stroked the red blush flooding Oswald’s cheek beneath his bright green eyes .

‘Seems like you enjoyed that’, Ed whispered, 'I thought you said love was a weakness you couldn’t afford?’

Oswald shifted and Ed found himself on his back. Oswald held him down and tore his robe from his shoulder. Ed was too shocked to struggle as Oswald fixed his lips on Ed’s shoulder and bit hard. Ed squirmed and whimpered at the harsh yet delicious sensation, knees grinding together desperately.

Oswald drew back and Ed shivered at the sudden chill on his shoulder’s bare skin. He thrilled as Oswald’s eyes melted into a harsh yellow in the dimming light.

‘Do I seem weak to you…Apprentice?’ Oswald purred.

The clouds cleared and the planet’s red moon rose high behind Oswald bathing his pale skin in a bloody light.

‘No’, Ed smiled, overwhelmed and exhausted, ‘Master’.

[useless-blog-dont-bother]

NYGMOBBLEPOT THE MUSICAL - THE SCRIPT

Disclaimer: I swear I’m not on crack. It’s just that I write this when I desperately want and need to sleep but just can’t. And of course I don’t own any of the songs, nor the characters. And no it’s not the regular writing style, it’s written like a script.

PART 1

SCENE 1 – STREETS OF GOTHAM

The streets of Gotham are busy as usual. Some say the hectic streets of this city are a literal madhouse. But those people obviously never set foot in a real madhouse and especially not in the hell reserved for the criminally insane: ‘Arkham Asylum’. And yet they’re complaining.

GOTHAMITES: There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit,

And the vermin of the world inhabit it,

And its morals aren’t worth what a pig could spit,

And it goes by the name of Gotham…

At the top of the hole sit a privileged few,

Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo,

Turning beauty into filth and greed…

And if you’ve sailed the world and seen its wonders,

You’ll know the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru,

But there’s no place like Gotham!

A kid, her backpack on one shoulder, is on her way home after a long day at Gotham High. A grown man pushes her and snatches her backpack.

KID (on the ground): Ugh, not again!

That kid is actually lucky, being robbed isn’t the worst thing that could have happened there. But it is the third time this month that she loses her bag. Only in Gotham.

SCENE 2 – OUTSIDE THE ICEBERG LOUNGE

Two men are getting out of a club called the Iceberg Lounge. A limousine is waiting for them.

EDWARD (about to open the limousine door): I’ll get the door!

OSWALD (going in the limousine): Oh, you’ll get much more!

BOTH: Either way we can’t go wrong…

With how shamelessly and how famously we’re both just getting along…

The smallest of the pair takes his partner’s hand and eagerly pulls him inside the limousine.

BOTH: We’re get, get, getting, get, get, getting, getting along!

OSWALD: So, what have you planned? I’m confident you didn’t make me close the lounge and got us the limo for nothing.

EDWARD (talking fast): We haven’t had date night in a while so I thought we, you know, we might as well make it a bit fancier than usual since it hasn’t happened in days, in weeks actually because of the lounge and the occasional robberies and the meetings and –

OSWALD (amused): Slow down, Ed.

EDWARD (blushing as he adjusts his glasses): I – Sorry, I –

OSWALD: No need to apologize, nor explain. I know how that brain of yours can be sometimes.

EDWARD: Hey!

OSWALD: You know I didn’t mean that in an offensive way. And you know I love everything about you. From your schemes to escape the GCPD to your way of fidgeting with your glasses when you’re nervous.

EDWARD: Everything? Even the riddles?

OSWALD: Especially the riddles.

EDWARD (chuckling): Now you’re just lying to make me feel better, Oswald.

OSWALD (smiling): What? No, I’d never do that.

SCENE 3 - RESTAURANT

Oswald and Ed are sitting at the best table of an expensive restaurant.

OSWALD: You really weren’t kidding when you said ‘fancier’.

EDWARD: Only the best for you.

OSWALD (resting a hand on Ed’s hand): For us, dear.

EDWARD: He’s touching my hand…

OSWALD: He’s looking kind of funny…

EDWARD: Wait, he knows I’m gonna propose?

OSWALD: Is this because I touched his hand?

EDWARD: Well, I guess…

OSWALD: Well, I guess…

BOTH: I’ll just go with it…

EDWARD: The very first time I saw you,

A very long time ago,

I have to admit,

I liked you a bit,

But I didn’t want you to know.

OSWALD: When we were roommates,

All I could do was stare,

And I can’t refute,

You looked pretty cute,

Tying that guy to a chair.

BOTH: I guess we’re doing this,

See that look in your eyes,

How could I resist?

It’s meant to be because we’re allies,

Time to move in for a kiss,

Just go with it and don’t ask why,

I guess we’re doing this…

WAITER: Are you, sirs, ready to order? Oh, I’m awfully sorry. It seems I’ve forgotten to give you the wine card earlier. I’ll be back in a second with it.

OSWALD: Well he couldn’t have had a worst timing. Where were we?

EDWARD (standing): I – I have to go to the restroom.

OSWALD (winking): Want me to accompany you?

EDWARD (laughing as he turns red): N – No, I’ll be back in a second.

SCENE 4 – MEN’S RESTROOM

Edward is muttering to himself while frantically washing his hands. As he looks up at his reflection in the mirror, Edward gasps.

THE RIDDLER: Long time no see, right?

ED: I thought I was done with you.

THE RIDDLER: If you really wanted to be done with me, you shouldn’t have taken those pills earlier.

ED: It was to help me with –

THE RIDDLER: Yes, I already know. Too nervous to propose to Pengy. We share a brain, you know?

ED: No, we don’t share a brain. You’re a figment of my imagination, an hallucination due to pills I should definitely throw away.

THE RIDDLER (resting a hand on Ed’s shoulder): Oh please, I’ve been in your head way before you started taking those pills. And I’m much more than a mere hallucination. I’m you and I want to help you, to help us.

ED (adjusting his glasses): Do you think he knows?

THE RIDDLER: Well, you did force him to close the lounge for the night and dragged him to Gotham’s fanciest restaurant. And I’m sure he’s aware that it’s been exactly a year since he’s been released from Blackgate.

ED: Oh crud…

THE RIDDLER: Also, another dead giveaway. Just look at us.

ED (dabbing his forehead with his handkerchief): Yes, I know.

THE RIDDLER (mockingly): We look like we just ran a marathon! I’ve never seen us sweat that much. And, Christ, quit blushing each time he looks at you.

ED: You’re really not helping.

THE RIDDLER (with a sly smile): You’re right. But maybe -

ED: Don’t even think about it.

THE RIDDLER: You really think the stuttering mess that you are is gonna be able to pop the question?

Ed briefly stares in the mirror before looking down. The Riddler’s smile grows bigger.

THE RIDDLER: I thought so.

ED: It’s such a bad idea…

THE RIDDLER: It’s a brilliant idea. Let me help you, Ed. We want the same thing, we’re the same. I’m just, well, stronger.

All your nerdiness is ugly,

All your stammering’s a chore,

Your tics and fidgets are persistent,

And your charm is non-existent,

Fix your vibe then fix some more.

ED: But -

THE RIDDLER: Oh, everything about you is so terrible,

Oh, everything about you makes me wanna die.

ED: Jesus Christ…

THE RIDDLER: So, don’t freak out,

And don’t resist,

And have no doubt,

If I assist,

You will be more chill.

ED: Alright. But you better not mess this up. I -

THE RIDDLER: Don’t worry, Eddie. Penguin’s wrapped around our finger anyway. He would never say no.

Ed sighs as his doppelgänger disappears. He is about to walk up to the door but he decides to glance one last time at his reflection. He smirks. The Riddler has taken over.

EDWARD: Let’s get to work.

[gottaread2]

Rules: Pick three fandoms, answer the questions and tag 10 people

Tagged by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself and @artemis099 (Thank you guys)

My Chosen Fandoms:

Gotham (my addiction) DGHDA (Based on book by one of my top fave authors of course I’m watching it) B99 (This is my new happy place)

The First Character You Loved:

Oswald Cobblepot (first and forever) Bart Curlish (I don’t know why. I just think she’s neat) Charles Boyle (he takes awkwardness to a whole new level which makes me feel less awkward by comparison lol)

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

Barbara Kean. At the beginning of the series, I just didn’t think she was all that interesting. Just the stereotypical love interest for the male lead and not much else. But when she became a villain, she got more interesting. The best was when she teamed up with Tabby and Selina and became something of a bad ass. I love watching her do horrible things, but have a soft spot for Tabby and Selina. I honestly cannot think of a single character I ever didn’t love from Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. They are all fantastic even if they are the bad guys from the very beginning. Gina Linetti. She is now tied for my favorite with Charles Boyle. I do not ship them, but when they interact they are hilarious together.

The Character You Relate To The Most:

Oswald Cobblepot and Edward Nygma. Not the being selfish murders part, but there is so much to these characters than that. Oswald is so loyal and loving to those he cares about (even to the point of doing bad things in order to protect them). It might make me a bad person, but I relate to that. If it was between doing the right thing or saving people I love, I would choose my loved ones. I relate to Ed for entirely different reasons. One of his biggest issues (besides being awkward as hell in season 1 which same) is that he can’t figure out who he is supposed to be. He doesn’t really know himself and that is something that really resonated with my current experiences. I might be having something of an identity crisis myself lol. Maybe that is why I’m so drawn to him. Todd Brotzman. At first he just gets dragged into this whole crazy adventure and fights it every step of the way. But people just kind of walk all over him. He gives in easily to the expectations of others. It takes a Dirk Gently to finally break him out of the mundane shell and really become himself. I’ve definitely had a few Dirk Gently’s in my life. Charles Boyle. I am awkward as hell. Not that level of awkward but pretty damn close sometimes.

The Character You’d Slap:

Edward Nygma. I love him, but he drives me insane. Hugo Friedkin. This guy is hilarious, but he is also the biggest dumbass and just so evil. Like dumb evil. Keith “The Vulture” Pembroke. This really needs no explanation.

Three Favourite Characters (In Order Of Preference):

Oswald Cobblepot, Selina Kyle, Edward Nygma (most of the time, but not recently) Bart Curlish, Dirk Gently, Farah Black Charles Boyle, Gina Linetti, Raymond Holt

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

Honestly, I can’t even think of any. The closest would probably be Lee Thompkins, but I still like her (just not as much). Edgy Lee was less likeable, even from the start of season 4, before all the Nygmakins stuff happened. I understand the shift in character, but I liked her better before. She seems to have the same problem as Jim now in my opinion. Looks down on villains even though they do the same thing and compromising their own values to meet an end goal and its something I don’t have much respect for. Hoping for better in season 5. There is none. All characters are amazing! Again none. I love them!

Three OTPs:

Nygmobblepot (obviously. It’s the whole reason I have this tumblr account) Pantlas (lovely canon ship. There isn’t much of it, but it is still beautiful) Jake/Amy (Boyle ships them so hard, so of course I do too)

@mordredllewelynjones @your-mad-tea-party-blog @merryandrewsworld @heburnedthebrightest @cobblepotcrimefamily @sunaddicted @catwithafluffingkeyboard @theevilcactus @strewnlimbs @broriartys

[3dnygma]

Forged Performance

“After being awoken from a cold slumber, Ed finds himself at the Sirens - which is now called the Iceberg Lounge. Due to having no memory of how he managed to get himself frozen, he is more than delighted to meet his best friend again. However, Ed quickly realizes that Oswald is hiding something from him and acting unusually different. And Edward Nygma hates being unaware of the truth.”

Relationship: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma

General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 2944

AO3 Link

Dedicated to @endless-nygmobblepot for being such a wonderful beta-reader and everyone on twitter who gave me feedback regarding the plot <3 I hope you guys enjoy this angst!

Waking up, the first memory that came to Edward Nygma’s mind was the torturing and seemingly never-ending cold that had surrounded his body. It had entered through his arms, crawled over his shoulders and laughed into his terrified face. When? Why? He couldn’t remember. He wasn’t even certain for how long his blood had been frozen instead of liquid– and he hated to be unaware of it.

His body was wet and cold, although hardly as cold as in the ice block, and moving his stiff limbs turned out to be more of a challenge than he had originally expected. Ed decided to focus on his eyes instead, as his surroundings were too quiet for him to gather any information through his ears. Luckily, the lighting was superb. Light enough to give Edward’s eyes the possibility to explore the area, yet not too bright to blend him.

Due to these circumstances, it was frankly easy for Ed to determine his location: The Sirens. Well, not quite the Sirens – what used to be the Sirens would be a better description. The interior design had changed a lot, compared to when he had visited it for the last time. Said occasion had been the night in which Edward managed to expose Butch and his Red Hood act in front of Oswald and the most important individuals of Gotham City. Simply looking back to that memory managed to draw a smile on Edward’s face.

That one, however, faded quickly, as he came to the realisation that he must have been on ice for weeks, months even. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been possible to change the decoration to…blue neon lights shaped like umbrellas. And black penguin statues. What happened to Barbara and Tabitha that would make Oswald be in charge of the Sirens? Edward knew that Oswald used to run Fish Mooney’s former club for a limited amount of time. Nevertheless, he hadn’t thought that Oswald would come back to having a club – while being mayor of Gotham City, at least.

Too many questions, not enough answers. Those questions doubled after Ed heard one of the doors opening behind him, followed by two voices. One being familiar, one not quite as much. Ed was still sitting on the floor, too exhausted and shivering from the ice to stand up and head to the source. As the unfamiliar voice vanished, Ed heard limping steps approaching him. More than relieved, he sighed.

“Oswald.” He managed to state, his voice being more of a whisper. “Thank god.”

The Penguin didn’t say anything. He simply went up to Ed, kneeled down in front of him and replied with a strong hug, wearing an usually frigid expression. Ed was surprised at first, yet ended up returning the hug within a second. Oswald’s warmth was a true blessing for his soaked body and he ended up holding the other tighter than he would have under average conditions.

Oswald eventually let go of him, took Ed’s right hand and helped him stand up. Now, Ed was finally able to view the club in all of its extravagant glory. It felt like the Penguin’s castle more than the Van Dahl mansion ever could and figuratively screamed “Oswald Cobblepot.” The other noticed Edward’s stare and, for a moment, Ed thought that Oswald would say something about it. However, it seemed like Oswald changed his mind in the end, as he kept quiet and waited for Ed to start the conversation by asking questions. The mayor knew his chief of staff too well.

Ed started with the most obvious one. “Oswald, for how long was I in this…?”

Too impatient to await Oswald’s reply, Ed turned around and looked at the cold water that had soaked him. The floor was full of it and he noticed that, right behind where he had been laying, a giant and empty podium was located. Next to it, a black hat. His own hat?

Before he could spend another thought on it, Oswald’s voice made him turn around once more. “What was the last thing that you remember? Your last clear memory?”

That question was relatively easy to answer. “We were at the mansion, I thanked you for saving my life, we talked a bit and then went to sleep.” It was a very fond memory. His throat had been sore and it had made talking more difficult for Edward – but thanking Oswald had been his priority.

“I hope that you know, Oswald…I would do anything for you. You can always count on me.”

And he still meant it, truly. Every sentence, word, and syllable.

Oswald nodded, as if he had already expected that answer from Ed. “Well, Tabitha and Butch stayed hidden. Seems like they got contacted by some of Fish Mooney’s freaks and spilled some crucial information. You remember Victor Fries, don’t you? He was the one who...did this to you.”

Edward frowned. Surely, that was an explanation – but one filled with several holes nonetheless. He took a short breath. “Alright, but-“

“We’ll have time to talk about the details later.” Oswald announced with a slightly passive-aggressive smile. “I can assure you that everything is alright. You and I are not in danger anymore, Ed.” Edward suddenly felt like a child that was being lectured by his parent.

The Penguin added, ��You must be terribly cold. There’s a bath prepared for you in Tabitha’s and Barbara’s former apartment.”

Right, there was one in this building, a few levels under the club. Ed loved the idea of taking a relaxing bath, yet he felt like Oswald was almost forcing him to. Besides, why was it already prepared for him? Damnit, he had to shake those thoughts off for once. Oswald was doing all of this for him and in times of trouble, he could always trust Oswald.

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”

And he did. The warm water and a certain bubble bath that smelled like pines managed to rehabilitate Edward a bit and cured him of the frostbitten temperature. As he stared at the perfectly clean white floor next to him, his mind started to wonder. It seemed like he wouldn’t get rid of all those nagging questions anytime soon. Oswald hadn’t only prepared a bath for him, but also one of Ed’s suits for him to wear. The one that he had worn at the Mayor’s party, to be exact. Ed quickly put it on and attempted to style his hair a bit in order to prevent it from becoming too curly, then went back to the Club, where Oswald seemed to have been waiting for him.

“Now, my friend, let me show you my pride and Gotham City’s newest establishment: The Iceberg Lounge.” Oswald stated while grabbing Ed’s shoulder and leading him through the place. Ed quickly understood Oswald’s pride, the place seemed quite inviting, yet at the same time noble and cool.

Edward smiled, his eyes still scanning the decorations. “It must have taken quite an effort to modify the Sirens like this.”

Oswald countered with a nod. “Right, it took us about three months in total. Do you like it?”

So Ed had managed to survive in the giant ice block for at least three months. From a scientific point, it was quite impressing to him – from a personal point, it was shocking to hear how many days of his life he had missed in what felt like a heartbeat. Like those coma patients you hear about in your everyday soap operas.

Despite his sudden distress, Ed nodded, marveling at the decor. “It’s beautiful. I couldn’t picture any other place that would fit you better than this one.”

That managed to flatter Oswald, as Ed spotted his cheeks reddening a little. “Oh, stop it. Let me show you the rest of the Lounge.”

And after they had walked around the area, Edward ended up staring at the empty podium again, questioning its sheer existence. Although Oswald was staring into a completely different direction, Edward had the strange feeling that the other knew exactly what he was thinking about and reacting before Ed might be asking any tricky questions.

“And that’s it! By the way, you must be hungry after all that time in the ice.”

Ed paused. “I…actually am hungry. But there is something that-“

The Penguin moved his pointy finger. “Promise, I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow. But for now, you need to relax and gain some energy. You should know that physical health is just as important as problems that might be bugging your brain.”

As Edward realized that there wasn’t anything that he could do about it, he nodded. It made him shut up but, as they walked to the dining room, he kept wondering. Oswald was attempting to keep something secret from him and Ed didn’t like it at all. He also hated feeling like a soulless doll that was told to do exactly what its owner wanted. Hopefully, this strange behavior of Oswald was only happening due to the times that he had spent without Edward and how much he was worried about his best friend.

Just like every other part of the Lounge, the dining hall was simply impressive. A little too much blue and gold for Edward's taste but he could see where Oswald was coming from. And much to his surprise, the table was already filled with a remarkable amount of dishes. Meat, pie, casserole – anything one could imagine. Calm music was playing and candles were enlightening the room.

It was strange, comparing this dinner to the Take-Out that they had ordered back when Oswald was staying at Edward’s apartment. How far they’d come. Ed gazed at Oswald and, for a second, they both smiled at each other. And once again, Oswald answered a question that Ed hadn’t even spent much thought on.

“I thought it was nice to have this just between the two of us.” That explained the fact that Ed hadn’t seen a single staff member since his awakening from the ice. In a way, Oswald’s effort was extremely genuine and something that not everyone would do for their best friend. Reacting to Oswald's suggestive gesture, Ed took a seat at the other end of the table and started eating. And God, how wonderfully tasty it was. He took some of the soup, then the chicken and some pie.

Words weren’t really exchanged, due to them both enjoying their meal. However, Ed sometimes had the feeling that Oswald was staring at him, as if he was expecting some strange reaction from Ed. At least Edward didn't feel like having his mind read anymore. After they were done eating, Ed noticed that Louis Armstrong’s version of La Vie En Rose had started to play, much to his own comfort; He had always appreciated that song in the past. And the Penguin seemed to notice Ed’s positive reaction, so why was he suddenly making a nervous impression?

Ed frowned after the other cleared his throat. “Oswald, is something the matter?”

Oswald took a deep breath. “…Ed.” A pause accompanied by a quick smile. “A man comes to a crossroad in his life and he has to make a choice.” While Ed was leaning forward, Oswald’s voice stiffened. “Does he choose safety and cowardice…or does he opt for courage, risk everything?”

What Oswald was saying had similarities with a monologue that an actor would practice for a play – or a project that had to be presented by some high school students. Something was bound to happen and Ed wasn’t quite sure whether he was ready for it. However, before Ed could even consider answering the Penguin's question, Oswald continued.

“I choose courage. What I’m trying to say is…the thing I have been wanting to tell you for a while now-“

“Oswald.” Ed tried to hide his emotions and state the following sentence as a fact, not fully managing to do so. “I know you – you’re my best friend. And I know it when you’re hiding something from me.”

For the first time today, Edward had said something that Oswald wasn’t prepared for. Instead of countering with a short excuse or shallow promise, he was speechless.

Ed used that pause in order to elaborate on his concern, standing up and walking towards his friend. “Almost everything that you’ve been saying today seemed…staged. And you’ve been avoiding every essential question that I’ve faced you with.”

Now standing next to Oswald and staring down at him, Edward raised his voice. “Something happened between that night at the Sirens and today, a puzzle that you don’t want me to solve. Please, I just want to know the truth regarding all of-“

And for the second time today, Oswald acted unpredictably. Because instead of standing up and talking to Edward face-to-face, Oswald grabbed Ed’s tie and pulled him down to him. The next thing that Ed perceived was the soft feeling of Oswald’s lips and the warmth that he had felt back when they had hugged earlier today. Only that this was different. More personal, more intimate…more honest. After a brief moment of surprise, he gave in and returned the kiss, suddenly realizing that maybe this was the way he had always felt about his best friend.

Eventually, he pulled back, taking a deep breath and gazing into Oswald’s wide eyes, his own voice sounding more like a whisper. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you.”, Oswald whispered back, excited and anxious at the same time.

And Ed remembered how they had stared at each other after Oswald had saved his life. How they had talked at the mansion later that night. How he had gone to sleep afterwards, not knowing where to place that subconscious feeling. It made sense now – and if the current conditions had been different, Ed would have had a more light-hearted approach to it. But this…this didn’t feel like an actual confession. It was rushed, like something that Oswald had to do right now, as if it wouldn’t be possible after this dinner was over.

And that realization confirmed his concerns. “What really happened between us, Oswald? If you’re talking about choosing courage, then do it. Tell me the truth.”, he asked as his voice gained more strength.

Finally, Oswald stood up in order to truly face him with a pained expression, covered in a chuckle. “You always end up asking those questions, don’t you? Is it so bad for me to want just a single day with you?” His volume increased, grabbing Edward’s arm. “One day where we can finally abandon our past and pretend that everything's perfect?”

The Penguin’s eyes got wet and Edward was overwhelmed by all these sudden events. Anger started hitting him. “So you’re keeping up this mellow show because you’re in denial and scared to move on? God, Oswald, I just want to know the truth!”

Within seconds, they were screaming at the other, neither of them wanting to give in. Maybe that’s why something like a romantic relationship between them could only work in their own fantasies. Maybe they were both incapable of true love.

Suddenly, Oswald’s screams turned into one single word. “Help!” And quickly after, Ed heard steps approaching him from behind, just like those he had heard after waking up. His body started shivering, which seemed to be a mix of the slight change in temperature and the subconscious feelings that something was coming to get him. But instead of turning around, he kept his eyes fixated on Oswald, who was suddenly giving into sadness again.

“I’m sorry, Edward.” After he whispered those last words, sounding similar to a death sentence, he pushed Edward as far away from him as possible. Before Ed could turn around and face the true danger behind him, he heard a peculiar, mechanic sound and, all at once, it hit him again: the freezing pain and pure darkness.

Wiping the tears from his face, the Penguin watched the procedure – and once Edward Nygma was fully frozen again, he sighed, then looked up to Victor Fries.

Worried, Victor disclosed, “Two more minutes and he might have killed you.”

Even though Oswald wanted to let his anger out on Victor, he knew that it wouldn’t profit either of them. “I know…thank you.” He took a deep breath, looking at the floor. “I managed to get so far today, there must be a way to keep him satisfied until-“

“Until you can fall asleep next to him, then freeze him and say goodbye for good?”, Fries inquired, then added. “This has been the fifth time within two months, he might not survive the next procedure.”

“Don’t worry, it will be the last time.”

Victor sighed. “Just like today was supposed to be the last time.” And quite surprisingly, he added, “Just admit it to yourself, you’re nothing better than a junkie who’s telling himself that this is going to be his final shot. He’s going to die before you’re going to end up having your perfect day.”

Gritting his teeth, Oswald replied, “Then I suppose he’ll have to.” He didn’t care if it meant risking his own or Edward’s life. Or whether it was even possible to share a positive outcome with Ed without telling him everything about Isabella and their hellish circle of revenge. He would try again, make more preparations and learn his lines like a professional actor.

Because he was the performer – and Edward Nygma, having amnesia with each awakening, was the audience. And Oswald Cobblepot wouldn’t stop until he could satisfy the audience with a forged, yet pleasing, performance.

[mymycorrhizae]

We know Jim's Talon storyline was nixed by some higher up (thank GOD, I cannot believe they honestly tried that) and I personally think that happened with Babs as Harley, so do you think it's possible someone higher up nixed the Nygmobblepot relationship? Or are the writers really this shitty. I detest this "don't know if they can ever be friends again" when we see so many other characters getting a second chance in similar circumstances. They didn't even get a first chance. 🙄

I have trouble finding it now, but I clearly remember watching an interview with Danny Cannon where he said something along the lines of “this was always the direction we were planning to take with this story” and I just don’t believe that. Like at all. I have watched season 3a sooooo many times and the one thing that’s always clear to me is that for the first 5-6 episodes, every scene between Ed and Oswald implies mutual romantic interest. In fact, before episode 6, I actually thought Ed was way more into Oswald than the other way around. And that seems like such a weird thing for me to believe in hindsight ????? but I swear, every time I go back and watch 3x01 - 3x06, I’m like “damn, Ed really has it bad for Oswald.” but then as soon as Isabella is introduced its like that part of Ed is just erased and his interest is strictly platonic. In one day, he goes from “anything for you” to letting Oswald go to the founder’s dinner alone, where he’s almost poisoned. The sudden change just feels way too much like someone changing their mind in the middle of something that they already started. I guess there’s really no way for us to tell if that was the writers or someone higher up but I just find it hard to believe that this was their intention when they started writing the season. My gut feeling is that it was the writers’ decision.

Here’s the thing, if the writers had always planned for the relationship to be one-sided, they could have done this without ever hinting that Ed might also feel the same. They could have had Oswald fall for Ed in the same way, murder isabella, get shot as part of Ed’s revenge, etc. while showing us that Ed never had any kind of interest in him. But two scenes that always stand out for me are the couch scene and the scene when Oswald tries to tell Ed about his feelings and then goes “you know what, I forget!”. In both these scenes, Ed looks disappointed. When Oswald goes in for a hug instead of a kiss, he looks disappointed. When Oswald is about to confess his feelings but backs out, Ed looks disappointed. Why was this necessary if Ed didn’t return his feelings? 

I know there’s a chance that I’m just reading into those two scenes the wrong way. So to be fair, I do think that all the hug scenes between the two of them made it clear that Oswald was way more into it than Ed. I made a post about this during the last hiatus, so let me see if I can find some of the screenshots I used in that:

As you can see, he doesn’t exactly look thrilled. So I guess if I was making this argument to the writers they could argue that they never explicitly implied that Ed’s interest was romantic (which would be a lie but wtv). One of the things that bothers me is that even if they decided that there can never be romantic relationship between these two, can they AT LEAST have them stop trying to kill each other? Like that’s how low the bar is right now lmao. These two trying to kill each other is a storyline that the writers really need to move on from. It had stretched on too long already and is actually keeping both the characters from having other interesting storylines. 

Although I mostly talked about 3a here, i think the writers’ intentions for these two in 3b could not have been more clear. With the exception of 3x15, which was the only time we had Ed express remorse and mixed feelings (not to mention that musical!). After that, it was like 3x15 didn’t even happen and it was all “I’m going to kill you” “not if i kill you first!” ugh. 

Anyway, I guess we should wait and see what happens in season 4 but I don’t exactly have high hopes.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x05: A Liveblog

Phew... long, long day, super delayed liveblog, but here it is, in all its glory. And frankly, after last time, I am not hoping for much : |

TL;DR - So there was a footrub and- HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT SOLOMON GRUNDY!

You know I’m disappointed in Gotham when I have not been chomping at the bit to see the next episode. If they get ANYTHING right today, I'll be pleased

Buuuutch :c my baby, my angel :cccc

...there’s literally location called “Slaughter Swamp” there’s literally... *throws book on floor* *walks out*

And yeah, I'm sure dumping a mostly dead body in... this swamp is Very Safe and will not lead to Anything Weird Ever. After all, it’s not like the waters in this town have literally resurrected people...

HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. HARVEYYYYY *sobs* Oh god and you look so good and your boyfriend has been AN ALL TIME LOW recently and... HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cries into 50 pillows*

This season was supposed to be about you two getting married. And instead what do I get? The divorce. I fucking hate how this show writes Jim. HATE.

Is lil Bruce contemplating murder??? Daaaamn boy. Is this show finally actually going to become ABOUT Batman??? Am I actually going to start giving a fuck about Bruce? Jesus, how the turn tables.

Side note: David was younger here, they shot this episode earlier, not later

MMMM, all them good funeral feels for Bruce, MMMMMM. This is fine. I’m sure he’s... fine.

Jim what the fuck, fuck off. None of your shit now.

Oh my GOD Jim, you’re going to lecture ALFRED about PARENTING??? JIM. JIM. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR USELESS ASS WAS DOING FOR LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON? IT WASN’T FUCKING HELPING BRUCE. FUCK YOU.

Why this show is choosing to make me hate Jim is beyond me. Holy fuck.

Bruce, I know you’re not Batman yet but... Batman is No Killing for a reason buddy. *pets* You gotta learn that lesson.

Babs hair this season continues to be... I don’t even know what her style is this season

HOLY FUCK WHY IS RA’S IN A HANNIBAL CAGE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

How Hannibal is this show going to get??? HOly SHIT.

Don’t tell me they gave Babs the fucking “soft paper, no clips, no staples, do not accept anything he hands you” rules (that BY THE BY we used on Frank too and that will NEVER stop being hysterical, although most of you are probably not in that fandom) too??/ HOLY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT

RA’S IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS... WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

I want to be paid a dollar every time Gotham borrows from Hannibal because... WOW. wow.

Jesus Fucking Christ What Even Just Happened

Oh thank GOD we’re back in Slaughter Swamp, I’m so sorry for what I said about you earlier, NEVER MIND, you are MUCH better than that, VERY welcoming, bless you Slaughter Swamp

...is that Oswald’s murder trailer? Welp, for the purposes of amusing myself, I’m just going to say that it is. Just come full circle on it. That trailer stays in the family.

Apparently none of you have seen Frankenstein or you would know not to wave fire at the recently returned from the dead : ||||

That... I guess that’s as good a way to get a name as any

*groaning about Sofia’s existence*

Is it an f or a ph? does anyone know? Meh

Mmmm... Oswald’s twitchy, he makes bad decisions when he’s twitchy. Of course, why Oswald should be twitchy now is a mystery. I can only hope the decision to abandon Ed isn’t sitting well with him. BUT that might make Too Much Sense because Fuck This Show

Hi Ed. I see your pill addiction is... still a thing. I’m not sure how i feel about the fact that you turn to drugs when you can’t handle shit.

...okay, I kinda love that Ed is now bad at everything in a new and entirely understandable way, as opposed to when he was bad at everything but we were SUPPOSED to think he was oh so smart (personally I think there are WAY better writing angles in that in regards to hubris and you know... actual fucking development but, WHATEVER writers, you do you). I have no idea where this will eventually lead, probably nowhere, because this show sucks and is determined not to make any progress of any kind but rather run us round and round in the same circles for all eternity, but this gets props for being entertaining if nothing else

“Butch, I have never had an issue with you” ...Ed. Edddddd. I’m. I’m just going to sit here silently.

Butch, I love you to death, you are everything, please drag Ed, both figuratively and literally, back to your cave and fix him. I love you so so much, please take care of him and then the two of you can be bros for life

Niiiiice, Alfred in his casual Night on the Town clothes, mmhmmmmmm

JIM SHUT YOUR FUCKING USELESS WHORE MOUTH YOU SELF-ABSORBED PRICK, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DEAD WEIGHT TO EVERYONE HERE, DON’T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ALFRED HOW TO PARENT YOU UNWANTED CODPIECE

NANANANANANANANA BATHOOK!

...you’re kidding me, I’m supposed to believe Bruce has memorized the changing of the guard at Blackgate? *siiiiiigh*

...yes, I also keep my ceremonial murder weapons stuffed down my shirt. It’s almost like you need a utility belt or something

I hope to god Sean flubbed that line and everyone just went with it

“Under crackers” is now the only way I am going to refer to my under garments and/or genitals

...OKAY SO GRUNDYGMA IS THE NEW NYGMOBBLEPOT WE ALL KNOW THAT RIGHT?

Holy shit, I thought y’all were just being crack but THIS IS SUDDENLY THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I AM IN LOVE THIS IS PERFECT PLEASE GOD MAY THEY NOT RUIN IT IMMEDIATELY

Holy shit, ONE good scene, ONE good fucking scene in A MILLION years, oh... sweet jesus THANK YOU, I’ve waited SO LONG for literally ANYTHING to be good again and HERE IT IS

Uhhh... is Sofia gonna murder Oswald over lunch? Because if so: No.

Oh boy, back to overplot

...okay, I have no idea what to make of Ra’s al Ghul, if he’s lying or not, not a clue

Ed... Ed you REALLY need friends right now, would you please just TRY to human being for a second. Jesus. You’re stupid and you’re still SO BAD at EVERYTHING.

Awww, see, there you go! There you go sweetie, you can be friends!You can do it, good job not letting your only friend burn to death, that’s a good step forward!

Uhhhhhh oh, Oswald’s having mom feels. Oh boy.

Alfred, confirmed 300% more useful than Jim ever was

Poor Oswald... damn, without an Ed as a clutch for balance, Oswald’s spinning his wheels. This is 100% what I expected when the season started, but I”m a little upset at the pacing. This should have been obvious and building from day 1 and AGAIN, LAST episode should have had a VERY different emotional tenor. His limp is also atrocious right now, he’s very stressed and jumpy and there are obvious reasons why, but they haven’t PLAYED any of them, which is annoying.

...

...

. . .

The List Of Things I Could Say Right Now. I’m Just.

.

.

.

do you know who fucking else has seen Oswald’s fe-EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALL OF THE ANGRY GIFS IN THE WORLD CANNOT EXPRESS MY RAGE

So uh... are you a mummified corpse in all reflective surfaces and you’ve just been avoiding mirrors, or does this trick only work in puddles?

...really milking that death there Alexander. Which is fair, this is a comic book show after all.

GREAT acting on David’s part tho, mad props

Yes, yes, cute jaw drop, very hammy, good job

Jim, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you two have spoken in like... 2 seasons. Just saying. you don’t know each other that well... or at all really.

Also, I‘m not positive killing someone who was immortal and who wanted to die is really murder either. Especially considering he was The Worst. Like... you shouldn’t feel bad, at all, that he’s dead, you’ve actively saved lives by killing him. Even if this is murder, I”m just saying... probably the best murder you could have done. Good job Bruce? Meh, I really don’t have any investment in this storyline, I'll be real.

Ed, why must you lie to your own and only friend? Why Ed? *siiiigh* Baby steps of friendship I guess, baby steps

...annnnnnnnnnnd there it is.

Knew it was too good to be true, couldn’t have ANYTHING nice this season could we. No, no of course not. Ooof course not.

May the all-consuming void swallow me up whole so I don’t have to deal with This.

[flyist-nihilist]

synpaths meme ⋆

if you don’t know what synpaths are, read here. It’s characters in media you deeply relate to, or resonate with you.

rules: put your characters in order you relate to most to least, tag any of your tumblr friends you think would want to do this after doing it, and explain why you relate to each synpath “character”

Tagged by @endless-nygmobblepot (Thanks!)

Mole (Wind in the Willows): Where to start with this one, wow. Mole is everything to me, loyal, kind, enamored with his friends, so happy to be included but at the same time, self doubting and scared. For me the one quote that always sticks in my mind is “You don’t need someone like me as a friend,” because honestly, that is how I feel with all my friends. I never understand what it is I have done to deserve such wonderful people who want me around.  The scene where Mole tells them his house has been destroyed and they all in turn tell him they can come and live with them makes me cry every time. I just want to run back to the safety of solitude but I know my friends won’t let me, and for that I thank them.

Dan Drieberg (Watchmen): The internal struggle of being the person who you want to be on the outside and the person who you are on the inside. When I’m at work, I’m a natural leader, I’m decisive, lead a team and provide advice and knowledge for others. Personal life is a different matter, there is doubt, anxiety and I wish I could be how I am for others for myself.  The duality trope in all its media forms resonates with me, but most of all in Dan/Night Owl.

Anna Bates (Downton Abbey): Anna is my ‘perfect world’ character. I just want everything that she does but no matter how hard I try life just throws things in the way. However, no matter what happens I get through it with the knowledge that one day things are going to be okay. Also her relationship with Bates is one of the most wholesome around and one of my favorite portrayals of love from any show.

Edward Nygma (Gotham): Season 1 Ed in particular because of this struggles at work and fitting in with his co-workers. I don’t think I’ve ever worked anywhere where I have been 'part of the crowd’, I always seem to fall on the edge. I’ve even experienced the exact same moment as Ed when he walks into records to hear a group of co-workers making fun of him, except for me it was the actors in the dressing room. His reaction and hasty retreat get me every time.  Just like with Dan I am fascinated with the idea of duality and the public presentation of one self and the private reality of another.

Michael Palin (Holy Flying Circus): A fictional portrayal of a real person but I just can’t get over Michael’s struggle with people who will not accept something out of ignorance.  People’s willingness to blindly accept facts about something without taking time to form their own opinion or question what they are presented with. Ultimately Michael wants to yell and scream at them but simply walks out resigned to the fact he can’t say anything that would convince them.

Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter): I suppose I sympathize with Neville’s overlooked aspects. No one expects much from him but then BAM! He’s taking a flaming sorting hat to the head and chopping off snake heads. I like to surprise people who don’t expect much from me.  

Tim Canterbury (The Office UK): Tim for me represents existential struggle with mundane life that passes by every day. He knows there is so much more out there to be lived and experienced, but he ends up back behind his desk every day. He takes joy in helping his friends feel good about themselves and helping them to follow their dreams rather than helping himself.

Fredrick Frankenstein (Young Frankenstein the Musical): Resigned to the role he thinks he belongs in he is quiet content. That is until he meets a group of misfits all of whom are looking for someone to lead them as a team to create something weird and wonderful. I love his and Igor’s song 'Together Again for the First Time’ because of how it captures the feeling of making a new friend who you form an instant bond with.

[vam9ire]

The Woodwork Of These Walls

Nygmobblepot Week 2017 Fics  - Day 4 -  Regret

Summary: After being plagued by night terrors and regret over killing Oswald, Edward turns to pills in order to get his thoughts in order. While they help him rationalize, they come with a side effect. 

Rating: T ( drug use )

Words: 5,406

A/N: I wanted to explore Edward’s thoughts before 3x15. It’s a little bit long and kind of all over the place, but I hope you enjoy it.

The first few days after Edward had shot Oswald Cobblepot and watched him fall back into the cold water of the Gotham pier had been much more difficult to handle than he had expected them to be. At first, he felt nothing but energy, a rush of power and strength that coursed through him like nothing ever had before, and he felt convinced that he was capable of taking on anything. That feeling had quickly turned out to be nothing more than an adrenaline high, because that same night, the energy drained out of him completely and was instead replaced by an almost unreal feeling of dread and doubt. He had killed Oswald Cobblepot, Gotham City’s mayor, the former leader of Gotham’s criminal underground, and his best friend.

Oswald was the only person to have really ever seen Edward for who he actually was, and for who he could become. Despite the fact that he knew within himself that it was the only option, after the unbelievable betrayal from Oswald, to open the door to Edward truly finding himself, he still couldn’t get rid of the overwhelming feeling of regret that had overcome him. He had soon realized that it was the same feeling of hurt that he had felt after he had killed Kristen.

Edward didn’t sleep at all the first two nights, unable to avoid the image of Oswald’s horrified expression as he sank into the water every time he closed his eyes for too long.

The third day after Edward had shot Oswald, people had began to ask around, concerned about his whereabouts. It was only mildly surprising how quickly the disappearance of a city’s mayor became noticed, and of course the first place they would look was the mayor’s mansion, though the only person inside the large manor was the chief of staff. When Harvey Bullock, stand-in captain of the GCPD, called Edward at the early hours of the morning and a few no-name officers in blue showed up to ask some questions and take a statement from him, Ed managed to play the part of worried coworker and concerned friend very convincingly. His acting skills were nothing to ignore, but the bags under his eyes were genuine.

That night, after continued trouble sleeping and an inability to feel much else besides regret, Edward felt like he was going to lose control. In an act of pure impulse, he left his room and went straight up the large, ornate staircase to the master bathroom within the room of Oswald’s late father, where he searched through every cupboard and drawer, until he found a small, antique tin filled with white pills that he hoped would provide him some sort of relief from the troubles that were plaguing his mind. He had tapped out one capsule into the palm of his hand, and he barely took a moment to consider it before he raised it to his mouth and swallowed it.

That had been the first time he had seen him.

Edward leaned forwards with his hands on either side of the bathroom sink, his fingers curled securely around the edges of the cold porcelain. As he stared down the dipped curves of the sink’s walls and into the dark void of the drain, he waited in silence for something to happen or change. He knew that pills didn’t work immediately, of course, but he had nothing better to do than to stand right there, in Elijah Van Dahl’s bathroom, completely alone with his thoughts to consume him for a few moments longer.

After having stood there, motionless and silent, for more than a few minutes, Edward had a sudden sense that the drugs had kicked in. It could reasonably have just been placebo, but he had been staring down into the drain of the sink for so long that it seemed to pulse slightly, and though he knew it wasn’t, it seemed as though it were slowly widening, a threat that if he stayed and stared at it for even longer it would open up and swallow him whole. The thought of it was still obviously absurd to him, but there was a twinge of irrational fear that traveled up his spine and ultimately made him rationalize that he needed to prevent the impossible from happening.

The fingers of one hand uncurled from around the edge of the sink, stiff from how long they had been held in that continuous position for so long, and moved upwards to take hold of and twist the closest knob, releasing a steady stream of water from the elegant copper faucet and directly down into the drain. Now that the drain was obscured by the flow of water, Edward felt the anxiety in him lessen considerably, and he let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, before he swallowed, realizing that his mouth had gone dry. This was fine, he reassured himself—it was actually helpful. He would just go downstairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen and clear his mind. He actually felt alright, for once, in the last couple of days, and with that thought he turned the water back off and looked up into the mirror, a confident smile in the process of forming on his lips.

As soon as he focused on the reflections in the mirror, however, the ghosting of a smile instantaneously fell from his face and was overtaken completely by an expression of pure shock. According to the mirror, standing directly behind him this whole time was Oswald Cobblepot. With a shuddered gasp, Edward turned around as quickly as he could, stumbling back against the edge of the sink as his eyes landed on his dead best friend, who was grinning smugly right back at him.

“You—What are you doing here? How?” Edward’s voice shook with uncertainty as the words fell from his mouth in an almost yell, shock punctuating each syllable as he tried to access the situation. He could almost feel his heart beating in his chest as he breathed unevenly, and he swallowed again, the action stinging slightly because of how dry his throat was now. With wide eyes, behind the frames of his glasses, Edward scanned up and down Oswald’s figure, taking a second to fully take in his disheveled appearance.

Oswald was completely drenched in water, his hair was messy and his bangs plastered against his forehead in chunks, his skin glistened slightly in the dim light of the bathroom, and where he stood a pool of water had collected at his feet. Besides the water, he was adorned in various other accessories from the murky depths of the Gotham docks. Seaweed clung to his body, draping in clumps over his shoulders and around the cuffs of his slacks, the sickly green giving contrast to how dark his suit was. It seemed as though Oswald had just clawed himself directly from the water, but even through the sudden shock of it all, and the presumably drug related hazy feeling in his head, Edward was sure that it certainly wouldn’t have taken three days for him to do so.

“What’s wrong, Ed? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Oswald’s tone feigned obvious query, though at the end he laughed before he continued, almost mockingly, “Oh wait, I guess that’s appropriate, isn’t it?” As he spoke he leaned forwards slightly and threw his arms out in gesture, water droplets flying off of his finger tips, before his hands forcefully fell back down audibly against his thighs. His grin remained, such a familiar expression on a face that Edward thought he would never see in person again.

Edward tried to respond, but all he could do at that moment was stare in disbelief and try to stay calm, though that seemed to be an losing battle. He expected Oswald to do any number of heinous things to him as payback for completely abolishing his empire and dumping him into the docks, but as he clutched at the sink, which was currently the only thing responsible for keeping him steadily upright, seeing as his knees weren’t feeling very stable at the moment, Oswald simply stood in place, an expectant look on his face.

After a few moments of quiet hung between the two, with the only discernible sounds being either Edward’s laboured breathing or the barely audible dripping coming from Oswald, Edward managed to calm himself down enough to actually stand up straight again. He took a tentative step forwards, and then another slightly more generous step, until he was just in front of Oswald. His eyes flashed down briefly towards the floor in order to make sure his bare feet wouldn’t make contact with the accumulated water that continued to pool around Oswald’s shoes, though he quickly continued to keep his attention closely on the waterlogged kingpin.

“There’s no way that you could be here right now, like this. You can’t be real.” Edward’s voice was unintentionally quiet, a whisper that escaped his lips quickly. Hanging down by his sides, his fingers twitched as he tried to rationalize what was happening and what to do in reaction to it, while Oswald just let out a short laugh before he replied again.

“Can’t I be? Go ahead, Ed, check.” Oswald’s response was similarly quiet, though not quite as hushed as Edward’s, and it held a slight edge of hostility as he dared him to touch him and to confirm that he was really standing here, in the bathroom of his mansion, taunting his murderer and his once best friend. Edward hesitated to raise one of his hands up into the empty space that divided the two men, and he was visibly shaking with some combination of continued shock and doubt, before he finally reached out, aiming to touch the center of Oswald’s chest.

Instead of making some sort of connection and feeling the cold wetness of his drenched suit, Edward’s hand passed right through Oswald’s body and fell back down to its starting position at his side. He truly wasn’t there at all in any form besides what his eyes could discern.

As soon as it had happened, and after Edward had watched his own hand go right through what he had thought was his best friend back from the dead, a wave of intense adrenaline rushed through his body. His emotions all became much more present in his mind, all of them opposing and just slightly overwhelming. Of course Oswald wasn’t alive, Edward had seen all of the blood that had poured out of him after he had shot him, and he had watched as Oswald sank down into the murky waters of Gotham. He had been both witness to the ex-mayor’s demise and executioner, and from what he knew, there was very little chance of Oswald somehow coming back from that. Even in Gotham City, where people had been miraculously coming back to life for a few years, no one else knew where Oswald was or what had happened, besides Edward. Oswald was dead.

Standing this close, and now that he had calmed down considerably, Edward was able to get a far better look at this apparent apparition of Oswald, and it made it even clearer that he was not alive. Oswald’s damp skin was far paler than it had ever been, and it held a dullness that no living person could ever possess, and his lips had lost their once pink coloring, having been replaced entirely in a familiarly lifeless blue. Even more off putting, however, were his eyes, previously an icy blue, they now had a glassy sheen to them that was only really visible when looked at this closely. His complexion recalled all of the countless cadavers that Edward had examined while still working for the GCPD, one particular woman regrettably sticking in the forefront of his mind for a few seconds longer.

“So what are you, then? A ghost?” Edward was feeling a little bit more daring and definitely more at ease now that he was over the initial shock of seeing Oswald again outside of his nightmares, and it was portrayed by his steadier, slightly accusational tone of voice. He was thinking quickly as he spoke, considering the unlikely possibility of this apparition being an actual spirit, and then his thoughts seemed to immediately click into place. Edward turned on his heel to snatch the previously inconspicuous tin of pills from where he had set it down on one corner edge of the sink. As he quickly turned back to face Oswald, he held up the tin and shook it slightly, audibly jostling all of the capsules held within it. “It’s these, it has to be these. You’re not real, just a hallucination caused by the pills.”

“Bravo, Ed, you figured it out! Just like how you figure it all out, huh?” Oswald’s grin grew and he swiftly raised his hands in a flourish to clap his hands together a few times in a show of congratulations that was clearly facetious. Once he had finished clapping, the sound somehow echoing around the spacious bathroom despite the entirety of this Oswald being an evident creation of Edward’s mind, he continued to speak, his tone now the one accusatory as he thrust a hand forwards to point at the tin still clutched in Edward’s hand, “Or was this not exactly what you wanted when you killed me? All of the opportunity in the world is right in front of you now that I’m out of the way. You and Barbara Kean have complete access to all of Gotham’s underworld, but instead of going out there and making a name for yourself, you’re sitting alone in my mansion taking drugs.”

“I have to lay low for a little bit longer, if I were to just go out right after you disappeared and start acting recklessly, all of this would have meant nothing,” Edward replied quickly, his tone biting as he sneered at the hallucination of Oswald. He didn’t even address the last comment about the pills, both because he didn’t need to explain himself to this figment of his imagination and because he wasn’t yet sure how he could argue against it. He remained silent for another brief second as he thought, before he continued in a tone that expressed his growing annoyance with the hallucination, “You need to leave, I don’t want you here.”

Oswald’s initial reaction to Edward’s demands for him to leave was to stare at him, eyebrows raised just slightly upwards in an expression of amusement, before he leaned forwards and laughed. When the laughing died down once again and Oswald stood back straighter to meet Edward’s eye, he spoke up in a taunting tone and words edged in spite, “To the contrary, my dear friend, I wouldn’t even be here if you didn’t want me to be in the first place! You said it yourself, I’m just a hallucination. I’m in your head, and that means I know far more than you take me for, Edward Nygma. I know exactly why you took that pill, and I know all of your regrets!”

As Oswald spoke, Edward’s sneer grew into an even further unpleased grimace and he turned around in an attempt to walk away from the hallucination, though he only went as far as the sink. He momentarily glanced at the mirror again, only to be met with the smug visage of his dead best friend, still taunting him ruthlessly, and the more prominent reflection of his own distressed self. He leaned forwards with one hand propping himself up against the sink while he moved his other hand upwards to rake his fingers through his hair. This was outrageous. Edward’s breathing was picking up it’s pace again as he struggled with what to do. As soon as the hallucination of Oswald mentioned the regretful feelings that had been surfacing within Edward over the last few days, he growled and shouted angrily, “Just shut up!”

Despite the volume and hostility that made up Edward’s tone, Oswald ignored his order and continued talking as if he hadn’t said anything at all. “Ever since you shot me and threw me into the pier you’ve been regretting it. You were so sure of yourself when you did it, so confident, but where did that go? It hasn’t even been a week and you haven’t even been able to sleep without thinking about me—”

“I said shut up!” Edward yelled, suddenly interrupting Oswald’s continuous tauntings as he turned around and lunged forwards towards him, his hands shooting up towards his throat. Of course, his hands went right through Oswald, just as they had before. It was an instinctual action with no thought or pre-planning involved, which he immediately regretted as soon as he realized what he’d done. He was now standing only a mere couple of inches away from his hallucination of Oswald, each breath he took coming out unevenly.

Oswald had stopped talking once Edward had advanced on him, his face going blank in mild surprise with the sudden actions, but just as quickly as his face had fell, it lit back up as he processed what Edward had just tried to do. His eyes widened slightly and his lips spread into a wide grin, revealing his unclean teeth as he tried to speak without losing himself in laughter. “You just tried to choke me, Edward! Now that,” Oswald gestured to him with enthusiasm as he paused for a brief moment, “That is absolutely hilarious. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised—You do seem to have a thing for that, don’t you? First Kringle, and we both know you would have done the same to Isabella.”

“I would never have hurt Isabella! I loved her, and she trusted me.” Edward quickly replied, tone defensively assertive as his hands clenched into tight fists where they hung down at his sides. He stepped away from the hallucination after he spoke, his jaw tight and his brows pulled together as he glared at Oswald and tried to recollect himself. He almost felt like he was going to be sick, his stomach just as uneasy as his mind, but he continued to ground himself with the fact that Oswald was nothing more than a trick of his mind. It hit him then that the only one keeping himself there was himself, and before his hallucination could say anything else to provoke him, he turned around and walked right through the door and out of the bathroom.

Edward didn’t stop walking once he was in the master bedroom, his bare feet quickly traversing over the cold hardwood flooring and towards the door that would lead him towards the stairs and back down to his room. He pushed open the already partially ajar door to the hall, only to be met by Oswald standing in his way. His expression was curious, and despite the idea that he knew all of Edward’s thoughts because he was a creation of his own mind, he inquired immediately, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to my room and I’m going to go to sleep,” Edward came to a halt right in front of Oswald as he answered without hesitation, before he paused and questioned rhetorically, his tone holding an edge of hostility, “Why am I still even talking to you?” He didn’t wait for a response from Oswald before he stepped forwards again, passing right through the hallucination. One of Edward’s hands moved out to lay over the ornately carved wood of the railing, his palm gliding easily over it’s glossed surface as he hastily descended down the stairs.

After a few seconds, Edward reached the last few steps without hindrance and he headed right for the hallway that lead to his room. He turned the corner and wasn’t surprised to be met again by his hallucination of Oswald, a frown etched into his features and his sharp brows pulled together in an expression that read clearly as annoyance. It almost made Edward stop walking, the look and attitude behind it overwhelmingly familiar. Even though he had already figured out that Oswald wasn’t really here, he could hardly believe that his hallucination seemed so vivid and sincerely physical.

“You can’t just ignore me, Ed.” Oswald stated as he presumably followed him down the hallway, though Edward didn’t take a moment to turn around and check. Oswald’s tone had lost some of its bite and instead portrayed a sense of sincere clarity, and it caused Edward to reassure himself once again that he was conversing with a creation of his own stressed out mind, and that any questions Oswald proposed were already known to the both of them. Edward didn’t reply immediately, his jaw firmly set in place as he came to a stop before the door to his bedroom, and he hesitated for another brief moment before he reached his hand out to turn the antique doorknob and push the door open.

The door opened with ease and Edward’s hand fell back down to his side as it continued to slowly swing forwards on it’s own, the hinges creaking slightly until it ceased motion, just before it would have made contact with the wall within the bedroom. It was dark inside the room, Edward had the curtains drawn shut and there was very minimal light spilled past him from the lamps that were on in the hallway, but Oswald’s silhouette was still discernible from the surrounding darkness, seated on the bed in the middle of the room. Edward waited in the doorway, for nothing in particular to happen, before he was met with nothing and he entered the room, walking towards the side of the bed where he easily located the bedside lamp and he turned it on.

The intricately patterned stained glass tiles that made up the shade of the Tiffany lamp illuminated the bedroom in an array of soft, varied colors. It didn’t really do much to fully light up the entirety of the room, the corners and spaces around furniture remaining obscured by shadows, but it fully revealed Oswald where he was still sitting on the edge of the bed. His head was tilted back and to the side so he could easily keep his eyes on Edward, who continued to stand motionless beside the bedside table, his lips set in a fine line as he stared at the hallucination of his dead best friend for a few more seconds.

It still felt so surreal to Edward that he had managed so successfully go through with killing his best friend, who had also been the most prominent kingpin of the crime world of Gotham in years, without any present faults in his plan. The surreality of it all was pushed even further into view as he studied the waterlogged copy of Oswald that his stressed out mind had managed to create. Edward’s gaze focused specifically on the corner of the bed where the hallucination was comfortably perched, the area of the comforter beneath him appearing darker as though it had soaked up some of the water that seemed to be endlessly dripping off of Oswald. He wasn’t certain without actually touching the spot, but he assumed that there was no way the comforter was actually wet, though it looked almost alarmingly real.

“Are you just going to stand there all night, Ed?” The hallucination questioned rhetorically in a calm, though obviously taunting, tone that broke Edward’s attention away from his thoughts and back to the present. Oswald smirked as Edward’s eyes focused more clearly on his face again, the expression and almost teasing attitude behind it resonating heavily with Edward, memories of every time he had observed Oswald give that same expression when he was still alive immediately flooding to the forefront of his mind. If similar thoughts had crossed his mind any other day previous, Edward would have been plagued with doubt in his own actions but, strangely enough, the memories left him feeling relatively unaffected. There was still a twinge of regret pulling at the back of his mind, though overall he found that he felt considerably level-headed.

“No, I’m going to go to sleep. I’ve got important plans that I need to organize tomorrow.” Edward replied in a calm tone, his voice holding only an edge of sternness to it. He felt fairly certain that enough time had passed since he had killed Oswald that he could begin seriously fleshing out the plans that he had for Barbara to take control of the criminal underground, and for himself to make a name and identity in that criminal underground. Edward wanted to become a threat to Gotham that no one would ignore, and with his intellect and cunning, he was confident in his ability to do so. He just needed to come up with a catalyst to really start things off. Edward’s mind was already filled with ideas and small, but immensely important, details that he needed to work out as he finally moved away from the nightstand, walking forwards until he could sit down on the edge of the bed beside Oswald.

Another blanket of silence overtook the two of them, though this one felt noticeably more comfortable than any previous, seeing as Edward had calmed down and thought over his and the hallucination’s situation a little more thoroughly. Another contributing factor in the calmed atmosphere between them was that Oswald hadn’t been nearly as aggressive or accusing as he had been while upstairs in Elijah’s bathroom. When he wasn’t relentlessly trying to antagonize Edward, Oswald’s presence was almost grounding in a strange way. As Edward continued to reassure himself that the Oswald sitting right beside him, smirking smugly at him, was a creation of his own mind and that the actual Oswald was really dead by his own hand in the pier, it helped him to clear his mind of doubt and focus on what his plans were.

“I’m sure Barbara is getting bored waiting around without me,” Edward eventually broke the silence, choosing to voice his thoughts aloud in order to verbally organize them, to a minimal degree for now at least, “I definitely need to call her tomorrow and discuss things before she gets too antsy and does anything stupid.” A quick hum of contemplation closely followed Edward’s words as he continued to think through how he would ideally like things to go over the next couple of days, and preparations that he would have to make. He still needed to devise how exactly he needed to go about fully realizing himself, and then how to appropriately proclaim himself to all of Gotham City. The only thing stopping him was finding that elusive key to unlocking the potential inside of him.

“Oh, of course, Barbara. Are you really sure you want to associate yourself with that backstabbing, power hungry—” Oswald was quick to reply to Edward’s plans, sitting up straighter as he spoke, the heavy amount of annoyance steadily growing with each word that passed through his lips. Edward turned his head to the side to observe the hallucination ball up his fists and glare off towards nothing in particular, the emotions he was portraying seeming so realistic in that moment. Every time he looked directly at Oswald, whenever he actually took a moment to stare at the hallucination, Edward continued to be briefly caught off-guard by just how convincing it was.

“Shut up, Oswald,” Edward’s tone was stern as he interrupted Oswald, though it was nowhere near as hostile as he had become earlier, managing to keep it just forceful enough to assert himself, “I know what Barbara is capable of, and what she would try to do if she could, but she needs my help right now. Even if she did do anything to try and betray me, I’m sure you already know, I have a plethora of backup plans in mind.” He stared at Oswald for a moment longer, fully taking account of the glare, only mildly heated, that Oswald was giving to him for interrupting him. As he looked forwards again, face angled towards the wall and loosely studying the woodwork, from the corner of his eyes, he caught how Oswald rolled his eyes while he sighed.

“Always planning ahead, Edward.” Oswald stated in a sarcastic tone as he also tilted his head upwards by a few degrees so that he could look forwards at the wall, his sharp brows pulled close together and his lips just slightly pulled upwards into a smirk. The expression, along with how intensely he appeared to be following all of the intricately carved marks in the trim of the wall, portrayed recollection despite the hallucination’s lack of actual memories. When Oswald turned his head back to the side to look at him again, his slight grin quickly pulled into a much more amused smirk as he spoke up again, “So, I’m sure you’ve already figured it out, but if you really want me to shut up, all you have to do is not take anymore of those pills.”

Edward’s eyes fell from where he’d been blankly staring at the corner of a picture frame and down towards his lap as Oswald continued, and his hand slowly moved from where it had been lying limply at his side atop the comforter of the bed until he slipped it into the pocket of his pants. From it, he easily produced the tin of pills, having previously put them there without even thinking about it. It must have happened before he lost his composure while still upstairs, and he’d forgotten about their whereabouts until now that they had been brought up again. He had already considered that choosing to not take anymore of the pills was more than likely the only way to get his hallucination of Oswald to leave, and that had been the plan up in the master bathroom, but now he wasn’t sure. While they did cause hallucinations of his dead best friend, they had also aided him in easing his conflicting feelings about his actions concerning Oswald’s death, and he felt so much more level-headed than he had the last few days.

In addition to what Edward was considering benefits, the more he thought it over the more he came to the tentative conclusion that maybe the presence of his hallucination of Oswald wasn’t as terrible as he had thought. He was almost positive that Oswald was going to continue to get on his nerves, but he also felt as though he was keeping him focused on his goal and that it was almost helping his grief to have the apparition of his dead best friend around him. As he continued to firmly reassure himself that this Oswald was just a creation of his own mind, it helped him keep track of everything else that was reality and what was just him overthinking things too thoroughly. Edward realized, almost suddenly, that Oswald was probably only here because it was exactly what his stressed mind actually wanted to see.

Edward was pulled away from his thoughts after a few more seconds by Oswald clearing his throat, and as his eyes focused again, he realized that he had been staring in silence down at the antique tin of pills held in the fingers of one of his hands. His knuckles were pale as a result to how firmly his grip was and because of how long they’d been held in place as he lost himself in his own thoughts. Without saying anything to acknowledge Oswald for the moment, his other hand moved outwards to pull up the lid of the tin and once again expose the white caplets that resided within. He only hesitated for another second as his thumb and forefinger picked up one of the pills, and he quickly brought it to his lips.

The pill caplet entered his mouth and Edward swallowed it dry with relative ease, before he shut the lid of the tin again and he finally tilted his head to the side so that he could make eye contact with Oswald again. He quickly observed the considerably smug expression that was waiting for him there on his features, and Edward didn’t stop himself as he felt a slight smile rise to his own face.

[peaceandlonglife]

Ed Nygma's Enigma | A Nygmobblepot Fanfiction

Pairing: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma Words: 1.8k Summary: For the first time is Ed's life, he was puzzled; utterly stumped, and by his own doing. He found himself attracted to a man. But not just any man, no, The Penguin - Oswald Cobblepot.

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                                               *Story & Cover Below*

  It was a stray, mundane thought, passing swiftly through his sharp mind. It was the kind of thought that typically would have gone undetected, but for whatever reason, it hadn't.

  I like him.

  For the first time is Ed's life, he was puzzled; utterly stumped, and by his own doing.

Ed found himself attracted to a man. But not just any man, no, The Penguin- Oswald Cobblepot.

He had never once been enticed by a male, or even curious for that matter -even though he was routinely propositioned by those of the same sex for whatever strange reason - Simply put, his preference had always laid exclusively with woman.

But what had changed?

The question was equal parts intriguing and infuriating for Ed. It was an equation he desperately needed an answer to, but lacked a formula or any applicable data.

Ed drags a chair from his dining table into his bedroom, the legs screeching and scratching over the pristine floor. For once he didn't care, he had bigger, more important situations at hand, like analyzing his latest epiphany.

Ed positions the chair before the foot of his bed, facing his sedated guest. Yes, this would do perfectly.

  He had so many questions racing in his mind that he felt dizzy. Perhaps he would try solving the simplest ones first, to clear and bring some resemblance of order back to his chaotic mind before attempting to tackle the more perplexing self-analytic inquires.

  Ed would start off with the basics.

  Who?

  This one was easy. He was attracted to Oswald Cobblepot, or more commonly referred to as The Penguin. Gotham's underground kingpin, criminal overlord, and master manipulator. Next.

 What?

What was it about him?

  Ed leans forward into his chair, intensely focusing on his patient. He studies the mans facial features, sharp and rigid even in sleep. It was the face of a man who had been dealt a lifetime of hardship. Someone who had seen too much; experiences so harrowing that they burden him at all hours. Yet Oswald didn't wallow in self-pity or expect special favours to be bestowed upon him. No, he made his way up the criminal ranks through cunning schemes and elaborate manipulation, all without succumbing to the lazy, overused tactics of those who ruled before him. He earned his respect. It was this about Oswald that never seized to amaze Ed.

When?

When did his simple admiration of him blossom into something much less innocent?

  Ever since Oswald was dubbed 'The Penguin' in the media, Ed had been closely following his endeavours, whether through the paper or the news, or even eavesdropping on Detective Gordon's hushed conversations at work. Ed was always the first to know about the latest underground developments. He had even devised an acceptable explanation just in case anyone were to question him on his strange fixation on the lethal stranger - No one ever did, but at least he was prepared. 'It's for work' Ed would tell them. 'I am simply collecting crucial data by observing the daily habits and mannerisms of known criminals. Eventually, with enough information I will be able to detect routines and accurately predict patterns of increased and decreased crime rate, thus aiding in the prevention and capture of said majour criminal.'

Of course, the real reason was that Ed wanted to be just like Oswald. He wanted to be in complete control, to have unwavering loyalty. To be free, to be feared. Ed just wasn't sure when wanting to be Oswald had changed to wanting to be with him.

  Although, if he had to hypothesize the exact moment his platonic resolve began to slip through his fingers, it had to have been the moment Oswald collapsed in that quiet forest.

  Through all of Ed's research, his mind had subconsciously began to paint Oswald as this perfect, ethereal being; impervious to lowly human facets. And then to see someone you've worshipped  for so long so mortally wounded and raw with vibrant emotions...it was shocking. You don't realize how misplaced your perspective is until it's snapped back into reality.

  Oswald was just a regular person.

  Why?

  Why did Ed want to be with him?

Companionship and intimacy were the two biggest factors that sprung to mind, but they weren't exclusive, Ed could find those two traits in just about anyone. No, Ed wanted to be with Oswald because he felt at ease around him. He didn't have to hide his sinister side or withhold any dirty little secrets because Oswald was the same as Ed. For once Ed felt normal; for once he wasn't the only misunderstood nerd. They could rule side by side, as equals. Together they'd leaving a blazing trail of wicked destruction in their wake.

It no longer mattered to Ed that Oswald was not a girl. He'd trade in soft curves for hard angles any day if it meant he could have Oswald underneath him for even just a minute. Ed wasn't attracted or not attracted to him because of his gender, he was attracted to him because he was Oswald.

And then there was Ed's more primal attraction towards Oswald. It was something he felt so rarely -the raw, uninhibited need- but when he did, it had the capability to turn his entire life upside down, leaving him dizzy and gasping for breath.

During the day the lust would loom bleakly over him like the deafening silence before a storm. And when night descended upon Gotham his lust would gradually suffocate him till his chest was tight and he could no longer form a coherent thought. It was at this time that all Ed's deepest darkest fantasies would play out in his mind -muddled with passion- but instead of a movie it was a clip show of fleeting senses.

Oswald's nails, digging into the pale flesh of his back. Oswald's crystal eyes, not leaving his, pupils blown wide. Oswald's breath, hot against his ear as he whispers nothing in particular. Oswald's cologne, too sweet for a man of such stature. Oswald's tongue pressed enthusiastically against his, a faint trace of a mint he'd had earlier.

Oswald. Oswald. Oswald.

Ed was now lusting after a man he'd only known personally for a day and nothing had felt more right.

It wasn't just the sex he craved. Ed wanted the romance. He wanted to pamper Oswald, to cook for him, to shower him with genuine affection. He wanted to take him on extravagant dates that he couldn't afford. Ed wanted to proudly parade him around the city, bragging and warning every resident that The Penguin was officially taken and anyone with objections or ill intent towards Oswald would have to come through him first.

  Movement breaks Ed's chain of thoughts as Oswald begins to restlessly toss about before eventually settling on his uninjured side. His face is scrunched up in deep emotion and his calloused hands blindly reach out for something. He grabs hold of the sheets instead and seems to find a sense of solace in the action of clutching the sheets to his chest. How...adorable.

  Oswald looked so small, even smaller than usual, both physically and emotionally, like a frail baby bird.

Ed rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and looks at the clock hanging on wall. It was too late, and he had work early in the morning. Ed glances backwards at the hard couch that was doubling as an extra bed and then longingly at his real bed.

His bed was far too large for only one person, -it had come with the apartment and he been too broke at the time to replace it, and too unbothered since- instead of its intended comfort, the space only left him with a tangible metaphorical reminder of his loneliness and how he was unwanted and destined to be unloved.

But now, in an unexpected -but not unpleasant- turn of events, Ed no longer felt alone. His bed also just coincidentally happened to be occupied by another.

Oswald shifts again and Ed watches as he rolls closer to the edge of the bed, as if taunting him to crawl in beside him.

Ed was certainly tempted beyond comprehension, but there was also a part of him that held back on taking the offer. He'd never done anything of the like. The one time he had managed to take Kristen to bed, she had left immediately after, refraining from all unnecessary contact. Oswald couldn't be any more different on the matter.

Oswald was an unintentionally tactile person. He'd always lean in close when spoken too, invested fully in the conversation; fingers briefly running down an arm in amusement, an empathetic hand resting comfortably on a shoulder, or a sharp elbow to the ribs to convey frustration.

  It was purely nurture over nature. Oswald's relationship with his mother was one on the very opposite end of the spectrum of Edward's parental relationship.

  Even with the minimal communication they've had on the matter, Ed could confidently deduce that Oswald was bordering on codependency. He simply thrived on the praise and acknowledgment of others and even more so with reciprocated physical contact. To Oswald, a hug could mean the entire world.

  Ed didn't mind this particular quirk, in fact, he revelled in it. Oswald was the first person to genuinely initiate intimate contact with him. Sure, at first it was uncomfortable and strange -he had to constantly remind himself that Oseald was not trying to hurt him- because he had went through the majority of his life severely touch-starved. But that initial ingrained fear subsided and before long he was subconsciously leaning into his gentle touch. It was always gentle, as if Ed was the injured one and not the caretaker.

 Oswald coughs once suddenly, then spirals into an uncontrollable cough. It was dry and raspy by the sound of it; the kind that itched relentlessly. Without a second thought Ed dives forward from his chair and onto the bed. Before his common sense had time to catch up with his movements he placed a strong hand on Oswald's bare back and began rubbing in slow, soothing circles.

  There were two more rounds of vigorous coughing before Oswald calmed down. He was still deep asleep from the sedatives, but his body was shaking from the over-exertion. Ed rolls on his side and peers over Oswald's shoulder to double check that there was a glass of water on the bedside table, just in case.

 Ed crawls under the sheets and resumes stroking Oswald's back but with every silent minute that ticks past his slow palmed circles evolve further into fingertips ghosting intricate designs.

  There was only a measly foot between the two now. Back to chest. Edward's long legs were somewhat curled in towards his chest and Oswald's frame had settled into the steady, rhythmic up and down of his breathing.

  It was nice.

  Calm.

  Content.

  Ed had never slept better.

[erizee]

analysis attempt 3x14 - 3x20 (how do u do titles)

so i was rewatching all nygmobblepot scenes on youtube the other day and something in 3x14 felt…off ive also seen a lot of you ask this, so this is my attempt of an answer. (if i accidentally used any existing theories please tell me or add a link)

oswald is willing to sacrifice himself for ed, he won’t let barbara and the gang hurt him and he even forgives him for what he did to his father’s remains, while ed is furious at first and later hesitant and clearly heartbroken.

so why is it that from 3x15 both are so hellbent on destroying each other??

ed’s viewpoint is easier to explain to me. he wanted to kill oswald for what he did to isabellA and is hesitant from the moment oswald’s love for him is proven, but he still feels like he needs to kill him. oswald tells him he created ed nygma and that they need each other. ed realises oswald is right but shoots him anyway. In 3x15 ed is taking drugs to see oswald to help him find someone to teach him how to become someone else, but oswald keeps reminding him of what ed realised just one episode ago: ed needs oswald and oswald needs ed. so, what does ed do? he becomes someone else. someone without emotions and without love, which we know he thinks of as a weakness. this arguably includes his love for oswald. to finish that transformation he dumps the pills, his last connection to the man that made his former self and that he arguably loves, into the same spot he dumped the real oswald. to change himself and to detach himself from the emotions that have hurt him so much in the past he kills oswald a second time. he says goodbye, fully convinced he will never see or need him again. in the next episodes ed spends his time building his new identity. since the riddler doesnt have emotion, he needs to evoke emotions from the people around him. he solidifies this identity in 3x17 and even though he looks broken and arguably almost suicidal doing it he is convinced he’s on the right path. but then it turns out oswald is alive. the reason for ed’s transformation into a stronger, to him better man, turns out to not have existed at all. what if he loses the riddler? what if he goes back to being, in his eyes, weak? he cant let his emotions get the better of him, emotions he’s convinced he doesnt have anymore. so ed decides to kill oswald again, too keep the riddler and stay free from feelings like love and regret, feelings he thought he finally got rid off by dumping the pills. that is also why he insists oswald call him the riddler. he let barbara call him ed because they “have history”, but every single time oswald calls him ed he looks irritated and demands to be called the riddler. notice how he literally only does that with oswald? if oswald, the person tying him to his old self, calls him the riddler, he can convince himself his feeling self is completely gone, along with whatever feelings he has for oswald. (id say its definitely love, but as long as its not 100% canon let’s keep it at that) it’s obvious ed enjoys this cat and mouse game with oswald and to me it looks like he hasn’t felt that stable and alive since 3x14, but to ed that doesn’t matter, or at least that’s what he’s trying to tell himself.

oswald’s viewpoint is a lot harder for me, so feel free to add or dispute anything. mostly their reasonings are quite similar though. oswald doesn’t have an identity crisis but he goes from “i wont let you hurt him” to “there’s someone i need to kill” over the course of one episode. so what’s happening? oswald let himself get vulnerable with ed. he shared his grief about his mother multiple times in multiple episodes, he basically let ed control his empire while he was bathing in the fame. and as we know, that didn’t pay off very well. ed ‘betrayed him’ (read: got his revenge) and took everything from him, even almost his life. not even breaking down to complete emotion, begging and confessions of love could stop ed, not even being willing to sacrifice his life for him after everything he had done was enough. to oswald, that’s just humiliating. oswald doesn’t beg for something he wants. he takes it. but for ed, he did beg, not even for his life, like with jim in episode one. he only begged for ed to understand they need each other. but ed still shoots him. ed is still the last face oswald saw before he passed out, before waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a strange plant lady talking to him. oswald is convinced that his love for ed made him weak, just as ed is convinced that love itself is a weakness. oswald’s core personality is made up of ambition, desire and revenge. he can’t let ed get away with what he did, especially not after oswald got so low as to beg for him to understand. he has let other’s, who did similar things (tabitha, butch..) live before, but this is different. he didn’t cry or beg for tabitha or butch. he didn’t give his whole self over to tabitha or butch. oswald feels betrayed, he feels weak and he feels humiliated and to him the only way of getting back to being strong and powerful is to kill the person he percieves as responsible.

the docks scene changed both of them. ed believes he needs to kill oswald to keep his strength and that the love he arguably feels is his biggest weakness. oswald believes he needs to kill ed to regain the strength and power he lost and that his love for ed was the weakness that led to his empire tumbling down.

what they both need to understand is that love itself isn’t a weakness. unresolved love, full of regret, anger and fear is. they need to learn that while love, if it isn’t protected and cared for, can turn out to be a weakness, like gertrud, but that mutual love and understanding can be their biggest strength.

i don’t expect the finale to solve this issue completely, i feel like we’d need a two hour finale about nothing but these two to do that, but i think we can expect they at least manage to start sorting through their emotions. but hey, we still have all of season 4 to look forward to.

[thedeevirus]

I don't know if you have any intentions about writing more of the witch!Oswald au but if you did, I'm intrigued about what kind of horrible curse Oswald can come up with lol (Edward would be so cheerful too, I can see him cackling in his corvid form while Oswald concots something evil)

Also added to Nygmobblepot Ficlet Collection on AO3

**

‘Nothing on TV?’ Ed asked.

He was sitting on the pillow, wings folded as Oswaldconjured up a window in the air. Oswald lay back once the portal displayed animage of Barbara’s house. Within the window, they could see her ranting at someonedown the phone. Oswald had muted the sound, the better to keep he and Ed’s viewingundetected. Oswald cricked his fingers and began to mutter a complex string ofwords. Ed’s feathers rose as magic began to build in the air along with anticipation.

‘I thought we would make our own entertainment tonight’,Oswald replied, pausing his litany to make a strange series of fingermovements.

Following Barbara’s humiliation of Oswald at the dinner theweek before, Ed and Oswald had both decided her disrespect could not gounpunished. So, they had researched and decided on, not a painful ordebilitating curse but rather, a spell that would make her think twice aboutcasting negative aspersions about others. If Barbara couldn’t say something nice, they would stop her saying anything atall.

Ed watched eagerly as Oswald finished the spell with aflourish and purple sparks rushed through the portal. They surrounded Barbaralike a swarm of fireflies but she didn’t seem to notice. As they vanished however, she couldn’t help but notice the effects.

Barbara suddenly retched, a black feather falling from hermouth as she struggled to speak. She coughed and more fell from between hergaping lips along with sour saliva. She dropped the phone and tried to clap ahand over her mouth, more feathers pressing against her fingers as shestaggered around, mouthing various swear words as she struggled to figure outwhat was happening.

Despite the smirk on his face, Oswald rubbed his neck empathetically,imagining the scratchy feeling of the feathers worming their way up past Barbara’stonsils. The spell was simple: any time Barbara cursed or said something nasty,the spell would take effect. The misery she was suffering was entirely her own faultfor screaming at whoever had been on the other end of the phone.

Sure enough, the tickly sensation at the back of Barbara’s throattriggered her gag reflex and the spectating man and bird made twin noises ofdisgust as Barbara began to vomit over herself: black feathers sticking to thefoul mess being expunged from her stomach.

Oswald and Ed looked at each other and burst out intohysterical laughter.Oswald’s guffaws died away and Ed’s cackling segued into a delighted avian snickeras the portal vanished with a glimmer of purple sparks.

‘That was much better than TV’, Ed said, wiping his eye witha wingtip, ‘Maybe that will teach people not to keep making the same mistake’.

Ed shivered as Oswald took hold of his wing and gently kissedthe end of one of his feathers.

‘And what mistake is that?’ Oswald whispered, taking the tipinto his mouth.

There was a bright green flash and Oswald smiled appreciativelyas he saw a very human (and very naked) Ed appear where he had been sitting asa bird a second before. He released the tip of Ed’s finger from his mouth withan audible popping noise.

‘Underestimating us’, Ed smirked, pulling Oswald closer inthe bed, enfolding him in his arms.

Oswald laughed at Ed’s playfulness and laid his head on Ed’sshoulder.

‘Do you remember when we first shared a bed?’ Oswaldwhispered, tracing a spiral pattern onto Ed’s chest fondly, ‘The day we met?’

‘I remember that you smelt awful’, Ed joked, kissing Oswald’sforehead and wincing as Oswald thumped him playfully in retaliation.

**

Ed congratulated himself on a successful day. As he flewover the buildings of Gotham, he counted the dollar bills clutched in hisclawed foot. Twenty dollars. Not bad for a quick snipe from an open cashregister. He was reflecting on the strange way that bits of paper helddifference significance for humans when he caught sight of something whiteglinting in the mouth of an open sewer pipe. Ed, his eye attuned to flashyobjects, decided to go in for a closer look.As he hovered overhead, Ed was intrigued to see the thing in the sewer pipe wasa penguin. Having seen them in Gotham Zoo and judging from the markings, heeasily identified it as the ‘Chinstrap’ species.He circled lower and examined it. It was lying on its front, breathing heavilywith its chin to the ground. It seemed to be in a state of utter exhaustion andthe reason why quickly became apparent. Blood caked its shoulder, staining its grimywhite breast a vivid red.Ed landed a couple of feet away, tucked the dollar bills under a nearby box forsafety and warily approached. He wondered if it was someone’s escaped pet or aliberated inmate from Gotham Zoo. If it had escaped and was unused to living onthe streets, it would explain the injury.As Ed crept closer, shaking his head at the stench from the pipe, the dirtsmeared penguin stirred. One abnormally pale eye flew open and Ed was forced toflutter backwards when the bird snapped at him angrily. It tried to rise butfell back down with a cry of pain.

‘Watch it!’ Ed automatically squawked, ‘I’m not going tohurt you!’

He rolled his eyes as he realised he had spoken in human.There was no way a penguin would understand that! Ed was busy trying totheorise if such an exotic species would understand him even in bird languagewhen the penguin replied to him in human.

‘Help me’, the penguin pleaded, wincing in pain, ‘Please’.

**

‘Don’t worry’, Ed said, noticing how the penguin keptglancing nervously at the door, ‘There aren’t any humans here. Most of themabandoned this place a few days ago. I think someone else has bought thebuilding’.

The room wasn’t warm (Ed had yet to figure out the finesseof using a central heating system) but at least it was dry. Once Ed was donetending to his patient, he would close the window leading to the fire escapethey had used to enter the apartment. Thankfully, the bed the penguin was lyingon had been right beside the window allowing the exhausted bird to collapsestraight onto it after the strenuous ordeal of climbing the fire escape in hiscondition. Ed was grateful they had happened upon a full rain barrel and the penguinhad been able to wash off the stinking refuse clinging to his feathers beforeentering. Just because Ed was a crow did not mean he was unhygienic.

The penguin gave a soft squawk of relief as Ed finishedextracting the last piece of magical quartz from his shoulder. Ed spat it outonto the floor and licked the blood from his beak. It tasted tangy on histongue. He cocked his head as he analysed the wound and deemed it clean. Hereached for the towel he had held under a nearby tap and with a jerk of hishead, lifted it over the penguin’s shoulder to try and clean the wound. Itwasn’t perfect but Ed didn’t know what else he could do without opposablethumbs. At least the wound seemed to have been caused by a standard ‘ballistic’spell: devoid of poison or extra, unpleasant effects.

‘How can you speak?’ the penguin asked.

‘An unforeseen side effect from scavenging from the GothamAcademy for Thaumaturgical Studies’ trash heap’, Ed said, grooming a strayfeather from the penguin’s shoulder, ‘You would not believe what those wizardsthrow out. What about you?’

‘I don’t remember’, the penguin said evasively.

Ed didn’t push the issue.

‘Are you hungry?’ Ed asked.

The penguin nodded weakly.

‘Wait here’, Ed said, flying outside.

‘I haven’t got much choice’, the penguin said dolefully,regarding its shoulder.

A few seconds later, Ed returned, a fish head in his beak purloined from one of the trash cans in the alley. He dropped it in front of the penguin but was surprised to see the bird flinch away, beak clicking distastefully at the sight.

‘I thought penguins liked fish?’ Ed said, sniffing at the head, ‘Sorry’.

‘I’m not really-’ the penguin began but then seemed to catch himself, ‘Not this kind of fish. I eat cooked food’.

Ed crooned in realization. He picked up the fish head anddropped it in the trash as he flew to the kitchen counter. He knocked a phoneoff the hook with a quick jab of his beak and began to meticulously pressbuttons with one clawed foot.

‘What are you doing?’ the penguin enquired, a note of wonderin his voice.

‘Getting cooked food’, Ed smiled, feeling gratified at bothpenguin’s impressed look and the tuneful ringing as the call connected. 

**

 ‘How did you learn how to do that?’ the penguin asked,swallowing a shrimp.

The strange, talking crow was perched on the edge of a plastic container fullof noodles, carefully slurping one up without getting sauce on his feathers. Heclicked his beak like a pair of scissors to cut the noodle and gulped it downbefore answering.

‘Humans do it all the time. What makes it so easy is that theyspend all their time trying not to talk to other humans. They probably justthink a shut-in lives here or something’.

The penguin nodded, eyes drifting to the door once more. Thecrow’s execution of the scheme had been akin to a carefully choreographedballet. When they had heard the Chinese delivery man knock the door, the crow hadsimply passed the cash through the mailbox and asked the man to leave the foodoutside and keep the change. The man, obviously used to the arrangement hadobeyed and once his heavy footsteps had receded down the hall, the crow had jumpeddown on the door handle and pulled the food inside. Simple yet elegant andextremely effective.

‘It must be hard being a bird that can talk’, the penguinsaid, pecking at a prawn cracker.

‘Oh, I can still talk to other crows but all they ever wantto talk about is the weather’, the crow joked, ignoring the small melancholytwinge he felt at the question, ‘I guess you feel the same around other pen-’

‘Don’t you ever get lonely?’ the penguin interrupted.

‘Sometimes I suppose but not right now’.

The crow nudged the last piece of crispy chicken towards thepenguin who accepted it gratefully.

‘My name’s Ed by the way’, Ed continued, ‘It’s short for EdwardNygma’.

‘You gave yourself a surname?’

‘Why not?’ Ed said, flying up onto the bed, ‘Humans havethem and it just seemed appropriate’.

The penguin got to its own feet and gingerly waddled to joinEd on the bed. Ed noted the odd way it’s ankle turned. An old injury, Badlyhealed. The penguin had obviously led an interesting life.

‘What’s your name?’ Ed asked as the penguin lay on the bed.

‘People call me ‘Penguin’’.

‘I don’t care about ‘people’’, the crow said, nestling downbeside the penguin in an avian display of comfort and companionship, ‘What do you call yourself?’

The penguin looked away, an odd expression on his face butanswered the question.

‘Oswald. Oswald Cobblepot’.

**

It took a few weeks for Oswald to recover and, despite hisobvious sympathy for his newfound friend’s pain, Ed loved having someone to talkto. Oswald had knowledge on a surprising range of subjects and was always happyto answer any of Ed’s questions. They spent many days just watching TV anddiscussing various topics while Oswald recuperated. He healed faster than Edhad expected but when Ed had made a joke it was like magic, Oswald had notlaughed. That was when Oswald had told Ed that magic was the cause of his currentsituation. Oswald was a wizard’s familiar and his master had picked a fightwith the wrong man. His master had last been seen plummeting into Gotham Bayand Oswald had been forced to flee for his life, ending up in the sewer pipe whereEd had found him. Ed had thrilled when he had seen Oswald’s saddened expressionchange to one of desire and anger. Oswald wanted revenge and Ed was happy tohelp him get it.

**

Ed didn’t like cats so when he had heard that Oswald haddesignated one of the vile creatures as his target, he took to his part in theplan eagerly. Her name was Azrael and she was a wizard’s familiar making her more intelligent(and cruel) than the standard feline. Ed relished the challenge and so it wasthat he and Oswald infiltrated the backyard of a prestigious mansion, Oswaldslipping into the swimming pool to wait for Ed’s signal. The black Persian in question, was a highly strung and savage creature, easilyprovoked to anger by mockery. It had been child’s play for Ed to rouse the catto a vengeful fury and she had given chase, running out from the gala she andher master was attending out into the garden.As planned, Ed had landed on the edge of the swimming pool and the cat hadleapt for the bird, too focused on her prize to concentrate on the deep water.Ed had taken wing and Azrael had plummeted into the pool, vanishing beneath thewater. She emerged from the water a second later, spluttering and soaked, angerblazing in her eyes as the crow jeered and cackled from his perch atop apergola. Azrael had little time to reflect on her revenge though as she suddenlyfelt something seize her ankle and drag her back under the water. She yowledfrantically, water rushing into her gaping mouth as she began to drown, legskicking futilely. As she looked down into the depths, she saw a blurry blackand white shape beneath her and blood rising from her ankle seized in itsserrated beak.Ed watched, idly moving from foot to foot on his perch as the bubbles rising tothe pool’s surface began to dissipate, replaced by a thick cloud of blood.Followed soon afterwards by a floating, black carcass, its fur matted andshiny. While waiting for Oswald to emerge, Ed noticed a commotion inside thegala through the window and saw a crowd of concerned people surrounding a manwho had apparently collapsed onto the floor, spasming wildly. Ed knew enoughabout wizards and their familiars to know that the man was obviously Azrael’sowner, experiencing the severance of their mystic bond. Such an experience wassupposedly deeply traumatic and, from what Ed could see, obviously physicallydraining. Ed was distracted from the spectacle by Oswald emerging from thepool, white breast and face stained with fresh blood despite the water. As Edswooped down to join the penguin on the ground, Oswald spat out a gobbet ofblood. Ed pecked at it idly as Oswald wiped his beak on some nearby grass. AsEd had taken flight and Oswald had slipped back beneath the hedge to escape, Edrealised the blood had tasted the same as Oswald’s had.

**

‘You’re leaving’.

Oswald ruffled his feathers in surprise at Ed’s quietlyaccusing tone. He took his flipper from the door handle and turned slowly. Ed regardedhim from the bed, where they usually slept together. Oswald cursed himself for arrogantlythinking he had been able to sneak off without Ed noticing. Ed always noticedeverything.

‘Ed, I need to tell you something’, Oswald said, the words catchingin his throat, ‘I’m-I’m not-‘

Ed held up a wing like a human holding up an arresting handand reached beneath the mattress. He withdrew a newspaper clipping in his beakand flew closer, showing it to Oswald.

Oswald scanned it and sighed heavily. It discussed how Galavanhad toppled the fearsome wizard known as ‘Oswald Cobblepot’ AKA ‘The Penguin’ bydefeating him in a wizard’s duel. Following the duel, Oswald had fled, jumpinginto the river to escape justice and remained at large. There was a photographof Galavan smiling for the camera. A black Persian rested in his lap.

‘So, you can read too’, Oswald observed drily, ‘Of courseyou can’.

‘I already know everything’, Ed said, lowering the clipping,‘So you may as well show me’.

Oswald nodded resignedly and spoke the necessaryincantation. He gave a cry and doubled over. Ed moved forward, concerned butOswald held up a flipper to stop him interfering with the process.As Ed watched, Oswald’s flippers split into long fingers and his head feathersmoulted into a crest like head of black, spiky hair. His back arched as his legslengthened and the webbing between his toes vanished. His beak receded into a pallid,human face and his avian croon evolved into a human moan at the strain of the transformation.His feathers fell from his growing body, bathing his lean frame in a cloak ofblack and white feathers that drifted from his body onto the floor.Only his eyes remained the same: pale green and intense.As the change ended, Oswald remained kneeling amidst a pool of monochrome feathers,shivering as he looked at Ed, naked regret on his face. He turned and showed Edhis shoulder. A dark, bruise like mark was all that remained of the bulletwound. Ed said nothing, just stared and after a few seconds, Oswald got to his feet.He staggered, his bad leg spasming. Catching himself on a nearby chair, he spreadhis pale arms wide and clothing materialised on his body: a long, black cloakover a stylish black suit with the only piece of colour a purple gem set intohis tie pin.

Completing his transformation, he stood, awaiting Ed’s reaction.

‘Why kill thecat?’ Ed asked, ‘Not that I’m complaining’.

‘I needed her blood’, Oswald explained, touching hisshoulder, ‘Because of the injury, I didn’t have enough magic to change back onmy own. How long have you known?’

‘Since I picked that stuff out of your shoulder. I tastedthe magic in your blood. Saw right through the feathers’.

‘I’m sorry Ed’, Oswald said quietly.

‘For what?’ Ed asked, cocking his head in surprise.

‘I thought you would be angry with me for lying to you’.

Ed gave an odd cackling noise but Oswald now knew him well enoughto recognise laughter when he heard it.

‘You didn’t lie’, Ed shrugged his feathered shoulders, ‘Crowsdon’t put much stock in appearances. Penguin or man: you’re still Oswald to me.My friend’.

Oswald smiled gratefully and undid his tie pin. He pried theamethyst loose and set it on the kitchen counter at Ed’s feet.

‘I want you to have this’, Oswald said, ‘For yourcollection. As proof of our friendship and as thanks for your help’.

‘Tempting but no’.

Oswald blinked, confused at Ed’s refusal of the shiny bauble.The sizeable collection of shimmering knick-knacks in Ed’s nest had made Oswaldthink that Ed would appreciate the jewel. Then again, it didn’t seem to coverall that Ed had done for him.

‘Is there anything else I can do to repay you?’ Oswaldasked, trying to think of any relevant spells to give Ed whatever he might askfor.

‘Take me with you. As your familiar’.

Oswald felt his heart leap at the request but concerntarnished his happiness.

‘Are you sure?’ Oswald asked, ‘It’s going to be dangerous’.

Ed flew from the table and perched on Oswald’s shoulder.Oswald smiled at how right it felt. How naturally Ed fit with him. Birds of a feather.He sighed happily as Ed nuzzled into his neck, the soft feathers warm againsthis chilled skin.

‘I think you mean ‘exciting’’, Ed smirked, ‘Shallwe? Master?’