#except its one of those super shitty abusive ones. and shes like NOPE! NOPE! FUCK THIS! and immediately moves 2 get him out of the way

[chadsuke]

Comics Read in 2024:

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 1 by 비완 & Seri (2018)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 2 by 비완 & Seri (2019)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 3 by 비완 & Seri (2019)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 4 by 비완 & Seri (2020)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 5 by 비완 & Seri (2020)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 6 by 비완 & Seri (2020)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Vol. 7 by 비완 & Seri (2020)

Her Tale of Shim Chong Side Story by 비완 & Seri (2020)

Let's Hide My Little Brother S1 by Jihoo Chae & Chen Li (2021)

[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 506

STAY AT HOOOOOOOME!!!!!

Ok, now that that’s out of the way... I kind of liked this episode. Which surprised me. Because usually I find myself neutral at best. But, considering how much I’ve hated disliked the last few seasons, I guess that feeling mostly neutral means this season has been better? The bar is low, y’all.

Could 1000% still use more Claire though. And more Jamie and Claire. And yes I know I’m saying that in the recap for an episode where the two of them bang.

I said what I said.

The title card’s powder blocker thingy looks like a plague doctor mask. We should bring those back. I found a box that had a bunch of them in it in the closet at my office once. That was weird. Also, stay the fuck at home and 6′ away from people if you have to go out on a supply run or take a walk.

Ooo, a flashback! I miss Scotland.

“Whom do I address, sir?” “I am Samuel Torrington,” said the guy who is most def *not* Samuel Torrington.

I know I shouldn’t laugh because of what’s about to happen, but looool at the girl for stepping in the literal one spot of mud.

Well that was dumb. Why the fuck would you run in between your dad and the guy he’s clearly gonna shoot?

I mean, it’s super sad, I guess. But also hella dumb.

Ah, a lavender pillow. Yes, I know it’s from the book. But between this and the BJR stuff, it’s like, do they know other smells exist?

But yeah, guess I shouldn’t talk since I have lavender hand soap, lavender lotion, lavender tea and a lavender candle.

It’s the best smell.

Ok, I get why Murcasta can’t be endgame. That was a good decision. But including Innes BeCaUsE tHe BoOk is dumb af. They got to the right decision to break up Murcasta, but for the wrong fucking reason.

Like, seriously though, can we please take a moment to appreciate how dumb this is? Like, book!Innes is from Ardsmuir. He’s been part of the squad. He’s basically one of Jamie’s most trusted friends. And he marries Jocasta. Show!Innes is literally some dude we’ve never heard of until last week because the fucking writers were like oh, Jocasta has to marry someone named Duncan Innes. Guess we should make that happen, out of the blue, for no other reason. Lazy idiots...

Jocasta has better handwriting than I do and I can fucking see what I’m doing.

Also lol at her straight up ignoring Roger saying that Jemmy won’t take her money.

Cut to Jemmy crying about the fact that he is now a participant in chattel slavery. I feel you, Jem.

Oh, it’s a cold? Ok fine, but also the whole chattel slavery thing.

ADSOOOOO! Such a good lil floofer! Look how nice he is, bringing them that excellent bug! WHO’S A GOOD KITTY? YOUUU ARE!

I really like Claire’s necklace. Also Claire’s neck. Also Claire’s collarbones. Also Claire. Can we have more Claire please? And less manpain in general?

D’awww, Lord John Grey the awkward gay. GIVE HIM AN APPROPRIATE BOYFRIEND ALREADY, YOU COWARDS.

Tryon is such a fucking douche. So is Quincy Arbuckle.

Well, it might not prevent tumultuous and riotous assembly, but not hanging out in groups larger than 10 sounds like a greAT FUCKING IDEA RIGHT NOW.

STAY AT HOOOOOOOOOOOOME. (If you are able to, and if you have to go to work, WASH YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAAANDS.)

Fergus, Marsali and Bree standing around this room being disappointed with Roger is A Mood™.

Team Give Fergus and Marsali More to Do

Oh, you’ve never been comfortable in your big fancy mansion? Poor you. *plays the world’s smallest violin*

News spreads slowly in/from the backcountry except, apparently, Claire’s medical advice.

Claire Fraser said reproductive rights!!! *ups monthly donation to Planned Parenthood*

The casting for Wylie is fucking perfect. Like kudos to the casting folks again.

I cared more about the Regulator shit in the show than the book because Murtz, but all the “Oh it’s happening! JK, it’s not! JK, it is!” that they took from the book is making me care less about it. Just happen already or fuck off.

Yes, I know it’s gonna happen next week.

Roger shoveling shit makes me happy. Because it’s gross and I do not like Roger.

“You keep shoveling your shit.” -- The Fandom Bree

Wylie should be a caricature with how fucking terrible he is, but let’s be real. We've all run into a guy like that.

Oh, Claire’s rings.

I did some mental gymnastics years ago to try to wrap my brain around why Claire would still wear an emotionally abusive piece of shit’s Fred’s ring. And the fact that the books and the show are like nope, she just likes Fred, drives me up a fucking wall every time.

“He must have been quite the man to inspire such devotion after all these years.” “Nah, he was an asshole. A complete and utter piece of shit. And instead of going with that and all the complexities it brings, we continue to gaslight the audience that he was a Good Dude. Instead of using the ring as a symbol of something more than fucking Fred, we just keep on pretending he didn’t suck.”

I hate everyone involved with refusing to acknowledge how shitty Fred was.

There is literally only one smuggler in the Carolinas.

DO NOT GO WITH THE CREEPY MAN TO A SECOND LOCATION. CLAIRE, THIS IS BEING A WOMAN 101. NEVER GO WITH A CREEP TO A SECOND LOCATION.

“I get a biblical plague.” You get what you deserve, Rog.

Jamie, chill with the extra testosterone. Just punch the bro or something.

Also don’t fucking blame the victim, asshole.

Literalol at Bree showing the women her like stick and sheet fan thing and then cut to all the people with just little squares, barely doing anything.

“Don’t stop! Keep your fires going!” *everyone stops and just stares at the bugs*

Gonna go ahead and take this time to remind folks that’s it’s fucking gross to get married on a plantation. Don’t do that thing.

I know a guy who is like proud of the fact that he’s an asshole. He talks about it like it’s one of his defining traits. This scene with Wylie being like “buddy, I love my shitty reputation” reminds he of that guy. I cannot fucking stand that guy.

*ignores Claire’s feelings about Fred’s dumb ring and headcanons in my own reasons instead because I cannot even with this nonsense anymore*

Ah, the Lindsays like Roger now. I still do not like Roger.

I fucking love this whole Murcasta scene. Can we get one of these for Jamie and Claire? I miss them having big sweeping scenes that have time to breathe and unfold and all the good shit like Murcasta gets here.

The show keeps trying to deny it, but scenes like this are where it’s strongest. But it refuses to accept that this is its lane and keeps trying to go elsewhere.

I miss Jamie and Claire.

I miss the MacKenzies.

I wanna give Jocasta a hug. She’s still trash for enslaving people, though.

Maria Doyle Kennedy is a goddamn treasure. Seriously, her casting was the best choice the show made in years.

That and saving Murtz, of course.

So fucking glad they cut the creepy-ass foot thing.

Jamie, you’re drunk, but read the fucking room. Claire’s right. Just because she says shit from the future all the time doesn’t negate the fact that she’s right about you right now. Also, seriously? You’re taking *this* opportunity to call her out?

Buddy deserved that slap.

Look, I’m always down for the Frasers to fuck. More Fraser fucking, I say. But this is just another instance like their fight at Lallybroch where the fight itself is never actually resolved like it should be. They just fuck about it and magically everything is ok again. Le sigh.

Murcasta gets a big long scene with time to breathe and talk through everything and it’s riveting af. But Jamie and Claire never get that anymore and it pisses me off tbh.

Stop shoehorning in book lines! She can’t see shit through all the skirts and stuff!

I miss the Lallybroch ring. What did they ever end up doing with it? It’s floating around somewhere.

Bonnet is so evil to 11 about fucking everything that it makes him boring. We get it. You’re a bad guy. Do you also have a tiny dick or something that you’re overcompensating for?

Can we please wrap this Bonnet shit up this season? I swear if they drag it out as long as they do in the books I’m gonna be rull annoyed.

Ok so now the war is actually gonna for real happen and I’m like legit out of fucks to give about it because Murtz aside, they’ve done the “it’s coming, jk!” fake out too many times...

Can they try to hang Murtz instead? Because I swear spending half a season with emo!Roger is cruel and unusual punishment.

[moon-beam95]

Two of a kind

By: Moon-Beam95

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Klaus x Reader

Every child wants to be a hero, to have super-strength or to soar above the clouds, but let’s be real it won’t pay the bills. So when you realised you could see things others could not, you did the only logical thing and kept shtum. Like hell you were going to tell anyone about this freakshow. Thanks, but not thanks. Yet, you found that the older you became the harder it was to ignore them. The dearly departed wanted to talk, pass on message, demand that you help them, as if you owed them something. Fuck that noise! If they wanted your help they could damn well pay like every other fucker.

You started a sort of PI service, think Randall and Hopkirk, helped by the dead who you would then help, a little quid pro quo if you will. You had come to heavily rely on your powers a far cry from the child who was easily traumatised by the admittedly terrifying spectors. How do you tell the police that your sure your uncle murdered his wife when there was no proof, except his wife standing over him screaming obscenities, and gesturing wildly? How do you tell your parents that your not in fact playing make believe but playing with a lost little girl who never made it home? The one time you tried to explain,practically begging for them to say it would all be ok, they looked at you as if you were a monster, terrified beyond relief. So you sucked it up and laughed it off as it was all one big joke and never mentioned it again.

But like you said as you got older your powers grew stronger, which meant that the voices got stronger and you could slowly but surely could touch them, though this took a lot of effort on your part, easier for them to do damage. How do you tell the school nurse who slips you a pamphlet on abuse into your shaking hands, that the bruises littering your hands are from a man shot point blank by his lover in a jealous rage and not from an unfortunate home situation? Again, you don’t.

One of your cases brought you into contact with him. Klaus Hargreeves. At first you dismissed him as nothing more than another druggy, passed out in a literal shitty bin after coming down from a high. Yet, when you questioned the nearby girl, dressed in a ridiculously short dress, blood dripping from her sliced neck, needing to know if she'd seen the girl in the photograph you brandished, he reacted. He stopped whatever he was doing in the bin, peering over the edge and checking that yes you were talking to the dead girl, and clambered out of the bin. You tried to ignore him and the racket he created but he picked you up and swung you around squealing in joy.

“You see them too.”

Startled, you froze. It was then you noticed the ghost following him, oh great. You slapped his arm guestering for him to put you down.

“What the fuck man? Don’t go randomly touching strangers. I’m working for fucks sake,” you swung back around but the girl had gone, “Great and now my lead has gone. Thanks a bunch!”

He laughed, still giddy and clearly not at all repentant. “Klaus.”

“What” you said distractedly, not at all interested, mind already racing through other possible leads. A hand shot out and you took it out of reflex.

“My name, Klaus.”

“Y/N”

You turn around to head out of the alley, waving over your shoulder as he calls out.

“Wait. I’ve never met anyone who can see what I do.” You carry on walking, too far now to hear what his ghost had called out.

The second time you meet, you've managed to get yourself cornered by a thoroughly pissed of spirit. The fight hadn’t been going to badly, until you head a disgustingly cheerful voice shout

“Oi, weird girl its you.”

The spirit takes advantage of your distraction and he dives at you, slamming your head against the wall, hand encircling your neck. Screeching in your face, and let me tell you, ghostly spit, gross as shit. You rear back in what little space you have and slam your head into his, causing him to stumble. Ignoring the pain you start towards him but he fades with a parting -

“Bitch.”

You turn to Klaus head throbbing "You again. Really, what do you get a commission each time you fuck my case up?"

He holds his hands up, the ghost with him smirking. "Nope," popping the p, "But boy am I glad I ran into you. Also the ghost? How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Hurt it."

You quirk an eyebrow "can't you?"

"Nope, just hear them."

You shrug, "dunno always been able to, the more intune I became the easier it was."

His attitude did a 180 and he became quiet, subdued almost. "Can you. Can you make them stop?"

You gave a soft smile, pity blooming, you understood the need to drown everything out .

Feeling sorry you reply. "They don't ever really go but you learn to ignore them, a bit like background noise."

He sighs and the pity surges forth once more. You of all people knew how overwhelming the dead could be.

You reach down and shoulder your fallen bag, extending an olive branch.

"Let me get you a drink."

You look him over, he's still dressed in a long black, fur lined coat that grazed his ankles and trousers that looked painted on. He looks less high this time but the ghost still looks on with a concerned gaze. Your eyes flicker over to the hooded boy "and your friend."

"Brother" He corrects.

You wince, eyes closing briefly, but it does explain his constant hovering and Klaus' lack of concern. In my experience rarely did anything good from them hanging around too long.

The brother warily looks at you before tentatively reaching out a hand.

"Ben"

You smile back in what you hope is a comforting manner and give his hand a soft squeeze.

"Y/N"

His fingers tighten around yours as he looks at where your hands are connected mistified, while Klaus looks on longingly.

The walk to a nearby pub is quiet. The pub itself not so much. You both order and take a quiet booth in the back.

You sit in silence wondering how to broach the subject, him picking at the label on his bottle.

"How did you know you had powers?"

"How did you?" He asks back clearly reluctant but your willing to take a chance. You wished you'd had someone to guide you before you'd found Mildred. Still, you thought rolling your shoulder to relieve tension, better late than never.

So taking a deep breath you began. "It's always been there, figures in the corner of my eye. When I was seven I lost my aunt and police ruled it a home invasion gone wrong. But the next time I went there I saw her. Sat in her usual chair, head caved in. And I could see. I could see it. Shards of bone, brain matter leaking from the crevice." You pause taking a drink, trying to separate yourself from your memories.

"I scared the shit out of everyone when I screamed. She noticed I saw and began to shout, argue, swearing about uncle. I was terrified and begged to leave. They thought I was being a dramatic little shit, but I just couldn't stay there, it happened again and again every time they dragged me there. And each time my aunt got worse, more angry, more vengful and suddenly she wasn't the woman who baked cakes when I slept over or kissed my boo boos, she was this, this wraith."

"Well that sucks."

You snort. " No kidding, I always seem to find the worse ghosts. Wherever I go death follows."

He dropped his eyes and Ben liked on in concern, he was a quiet soul.

He began quietly. "When dad saw what I could do, when I came to him shaking and begging for help, he locked me in a crypt. No light, no nothing. Just voices screaming out." He paused here, taking a breath, giving a worthless chuckle.

"I musta been there hours, bodies screeching at me, all in different states of decay. When the door finally opened I was relieved but he just said, 3 more hours."

You jumped as he slammed his bottle down, cursing out, how could a man do that to his child. Reaching out a hand you caress his. He looked into your eyes and saw understanding.

"What a dick."

"You're not wrong. Then I discovered drugs and the high, the hallucinations drowned them out. So it was Hello drugs bye bye ghosts. And good riddance."

He looked at his brother smiling fondly. "Except Ben, no matter what he always forced himself through the drug filled haze."

"Mildred" you interrupted "I was 17 and my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend died and completely lost it. He wouldn't leave me alone, he seemed determined to destroy my life. It wasn’t what your thinking no big acts of violence or anything, it started as just a few words here and there, constant muttering just at the edge where I had to strain to hear him. And i was just so happy he was there you know? It grew from there, it wasn’t some great battle it was a fucking siege.Then one night terrified and beyond tired I sat in the bath sobbing I just couldn't take it anymore, the constant whispering, I just wanted it all too end. Then she appeared, sat on the toilet, a bullet hole through the brain watching me. She taught me everything."

Klaus and Ben stared on in rapt attention, drinking in every word.

"Apparently she'd met someone like me ages ago, he'd helped her and so she swore to help those like him. It was little things, guided meditations. She talked about the veil a sort of in between where they reside. I hadn't really understood that at first, but I learned that the hard way. And above all she said your will had to be stronger than theirs."

"Well" he drawled "that sounds anti-climatic."

You shrugged a shoulder, " It worked, so I ain't complaining."

He took another swig of his beer and Ben latched onto an earlier piece.

"What did you mean you leaned the hard way about the veil."

You breathed out through your nose, "What we can do, walking among the dead, touching souls it leaves a mark. When we spend time convening with the spirits we enter the same state, were neither dead nor alive and that, that's what leaves a mark. "

They both quired a brow and despite the situation you had to stifle a laugh you could see the family resemblance now, they had similar mannerisms.

"When I was 18, I was still learning with Mildred, she had set me a simple task to help a spirit. He seems kind enough, he kept up a stream of chatter had he been alive we might have been friends." You laugh darkly, reaching up to scrub at your now stinging eyes. "He was so kind, and understanding, til one night I was in a motel, we've travelled to find some family of his. We were relaxing on the bed, and just as I was drifting off he climbed on top of me and smothered my face with a pillow. He killed me. I wasn't the first and he was beyond pleased when he heard there was someone who could interact with the dead. It was all kind of a haze what happened next, the was light so pure and happy, then pain and heat. Then a tugging sensation and I was back in body. I woke up in a dingy motel room, and the world was cold and numb."

"Jesus" Klaus breathed out. "What a wanker."

You let out a wet laugh, meeting his eyes you give a sad smile that could only have been gained through experience.

"Our powers, our gifts are in some ways the most dangerous, we walk along the living and the dead, yet we are neither. Unlike others, we can be hurt by the residents of both worlds, we have to be doubly careful."

"So we can't die?" He said, taking her word as gospel. There seemed like too many downsides to developing his powers, but for his brother, who spent his death watching over him there was nothing he wouldn't do. Not to mention that whole bit about light and pain and numbness sounded startlingly familiar, but for now that was going in the nope box.

"It seems so, I don't plan on testing it and I don't recommended you do either." You said tipping your bottle at him narrowing your eyes.

He lifted hand, "scouts honour."

"Please" you said " you weren't ever a scout."

You spent the night chatting, keeping it light hearted. The boys would tell stories of a superhero past and shenanigans they got up to. You shared stories of cases that took funny turns and embarrassing ghost requests. It felt so good to have someone who understood and a ghost who wasn't demanding anything or trying to kill you. But all good things come to an end and the pub began to close.

He stood drawing his cost around him, inclining his head "thank you for this love." Ben smiled. As they turned to leave,you found yourself doing something she never imagined doing.

"I could help. With your powers I mean. It'll be a hella lot cheaper than drugs and you maybe able to connect with Ben here more."

The brothers share a quick glance and both flash you excited grins. Klaus steps forward, slings an arm around your shoulders tugging you between the two brothers.

"Y/N, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

End.

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Finale Review

...I can’t even summarize my thoughts properly right now because I am just so wildly exhausted and disappointed and frustrated, so here’s the unfiltered running commentary I made during the two-parter, sorted by characters and due to length beneath the cut:

On Jonathan:

Jonathan back at it again, killing flowers. ~puuure eeeviiil~ (Sorry. Still not over Jocelyn being a fucking dickhead who is ready to murder her son over one dead flower he killed as a toddler...)

...I just... I'm so tired of what they did with Jonathan? When they set him up as Sebastian Verlac, he seemed to layered, but this season, they are completely reducing him to the Incest Boi whose only motivation is “Clary doesn't love me enough!” and absolutely no one has even half a fuck to give about everything he has suffered...? Every abuse that is driving him and forged him...?

He could have been such a layered character. I'm not even talking redemption wise, to use the abuse to make him A Good Boi, but he could have been such an interesting villain, there could have been so much to him. This is stupid and sad.

But I am chocking on my laughter at the Seelie Queen literally teaching him WHAT HE COULDA BEEN TAUGHT FROM THE GET GO. To channel his powers. Granted, she channels them into killing Shadowhunters. But they could have been channeled into killing demons.

With the right parent, the right training, without living in hell and being tortured, he could have been an exceptional Shadowhunter. But let's pretend that he is Truly Inherently Evil only because of his demon blood and hey it's legit because he wants to bang his sister so who cares about this guy LOL.

HOLY SHIT THEY REALLY MADE CLARY MURDER HIM WITH A HUG. What a fucking way to go. I don't... I don't even know what to say to that to be honest.

On Clary:

WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE DONE??

“How do I come back after everything I've done”. What. What line is that. That's the line they could have given Jace in the first episode of 3B. You know, the guy who saw his own body commit 30+ murders, among them the murder of his own grandmother.

What... What's that everything Clary has done? Dress hotter than usual? Go to a rave? Try some Seelie drugs? Sure she killed Lenaia, but that was also a chick she didn't even know and so far she's not been very traumatized by like – killing her own biological father (seriously, the writers never bothered to give her a genuine reaction to that). Way to be overdramatic, writers.

Shitty Ex Machina Rune's existence aside; WHY does the Ex Machina Rune work?? RUNES DON'T WORK ON DOWNWORLDERS. That was like a whole thing in season 1. They kill mundies and they don't work on Downworlders?? Why the fuck is Clary allowed to play – not just an angel but an actual god at this point.

(But y'all know I am going to use this shitty dumb stupid rune in so many fanfiction.)

...But like holy shit. It is so callous to have her say that she wouldn't trade the Shadow World for anything and that “and I met Jace” like he brought all light into her life when the Shadow World killed her mother. Have the writers just completely forgotten that a month ago she lost her mother, her only biological family left?? Ah but it's totally fine because she has Jace now!!! And even though we literally started the episode off with her being devastated and wondering how she will ever come back after everything she has done, they are now only half an hour later already forgetting that she has just gone through major trauma, that she murdered her own father, that she lost her mother? But oh the Shadow World is super awesome, wouldn't wanna trade those past two, utterly traumatizing months for anything!!! Not even for my mom being alive LOL! Just... do the writers even care about the characters? At all?

HOLY FUCKING GODS THEY REMEMBERED JOCELYN. FUCK THIS IS RIDICULOUS ESPECIALLY AFTER HER CONVERSATION WITH SIMON IN EDOM. I am baffled. But I am 100% behind Jocelyn's message because Clary has been a scary motherfucker all this season now with all the things she has done and the rule-breaking. Fuck yeah she shouldn't be allowed to play God, which she DOES at this point.

But like, on a scale of 1 to 10 how dumb did they have to make Clary? Out of all of the ways she could have killed Jonathan, they decided “Nah man she is totally giving up her Shadowhunter self to hug her brother to death” instead of having Miss Stabby-Stab-Stab pull out a dagger and stab him to death? She literallly just got the warning and decides “LOL nope this is how I go out”. What---

There is a huge difference between a character sacrificing themselves for the greater good because there was 100% no other way and a character somehow turning a completely manageable situation into a self-sacrifice that is completely unnecessary... She could have just stabbed him. Or, you know, captured him with a trick instead of murdering. She could have stayed a Shadowhunter without using the Deus Ex Machina runes, living like a normal Shadowhunter. But they really made her go “If I can't play god, I'd rather give up the Shadow World”.

What the fuck even was that “One Year Later”. They literally just wasted a whole year since C/ace reuniting had zero negative effect on her? She didn't combust or anything. They could have literally went after her the day of the wedding, explained amnesia to her and brought her back. But the writers had to be dramatic bitches that put Jace through hell again, huh.

And what exactly did she believe happened? Like, Jocelyn and Luke and Simon?? Basically everyone she ever knew? What did she think happened to them and to herself? She just decided to go back to art school or what? Did they even think about this ending?

Honestly. It'd have been better had they actually Donna Nobled her and said she can never remember and has to be a mundie. But this? This year gap and bullshit and C/ace looking at each other and she suddenly remembers his name because True Love Wins? That makes it even dumber.

On Jace & Meliorn: (I'm trying to give each character their own for the finale, but... I can't separate those two in this case)

THAT STARTLED LITTLE BACKING OFF JACE DOES WHEN MELIORN TAKES IT TO THE BEDROOM. If that wasn't a coming on from Meliorn, I don't know what is. I am definitely living for this little bit of Jeliorn because that was a ship I was sure I'd never get to see proper interactions of. So, small blessings.

Hng. Jace can't lie. How pretty. Seriously his bond with Meliorn is like the saving grace from all of this. And how much fun Meliorn is having with this. Oh my gods my shipper heart is soaring.

SERIOUSLY I AM LIVING FOR THIS. “A serious question. How handsome do you think I am?” WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT. Because you want to let my shipper-heart beat some. Thank you, Meliorn, personally, for my life. (Not to mention the answer. A NINE?? Jace. You so pansexual and into handsome Downworlders. It's canon now and I am blessed.)

I'm just absolutely living for Jace getting to interact with a non-Clary and a non-Alec (especially since all of his Alec-interactions this half-season have only been about Ma/ec...). It's... so refreshing to see them use Jace as... a character... instead of a prop. Even if he's played as a comic relief, I am taking so much more from this.

(ALSO: Jimon sparring! Jimon sparring and JACE BOOPING SIMON'S NOSE WHAT THE FUCK.)

On Alec:

What's with Maryse telling him to “take time to mourn”? What the fuck is that? XD He has literally been in Edom and gone back too. There's always been ways in and out. You're sure fast to bury him.

But also, maybe Alec should focus on the way to bring Magnus back instead of planning this fucking stupid wedding. You'd need your groom first.

Tonight. They're literally... I am weeping at how stupid this is. They got engaged yesterday and are getting married today. I had... actual, dumb hopes that the wedding would happen after a time skip. But I forgot this show doesn't know what time is. Ahahaha. Hilarious.

But holy shit am I angry about him being all dodgy and asking Maryse's permission to invite his own father to his wedding. Like. I am very rationally angry about the fact that all the kids sided with their abusive mother over their father, but that they are really all just treating him like that now is insane. Sure, he cheated on their mother, but he is still their father?? He has still been their father and he has been the good parent. If you can forgive Maryse's abuse just like that, how do you hold Robert cheating on Maryse over him like that? This is absolutely insane. What kind of priorities do those writers have to fuck it up this badly? Like the “oh no dad cheated on you let us all comfort you and totally forget the shitty way you have been treating your children!!!” wasn't bad enough on its own, but that they are completely acting like Robert was not just the cheating husband but somehow also the bad parent now? If this is where the show wanted to end it, they should have from the get-go also written him as the bad parent and her as the good parent, then I'd understand this, I'd understand the taking sides thing, the way they all completely turned away from Robert, the way Maryse blossomed and turned into an entirely different character. That ALL would make sense IF they hadn't decided in the first season and in 2B to write Robert as the warm rather and Maryse as the cold and abusive mother. The starting points and end points don't match.

On Magnus:

Magnus. On that throne. In that light. Now that's a look, to be honest.

Also, awkward conversations with the stepmother are very amusing. :D” (But, honestly, Anna and Harry playing off each other is really great. They play the power-dynamic really fascinating.)

Magnus being like “Well no need to close the door if we burn down the place right?” is a mood. It's so stupid and ridiculous, but like it's right. XD”

I'm glad Magnus at least said thank you to Lorenzo and even invited him to the wedding.

I genuinely don't know how to react to “High Warlock of Alicante” to be honest. Like. I don'T know what to say to that.

On Maia:

...I'd like to live in the alternate reality where Maia was more than just her relationships to boys. I'm still let down by the fact that the one (1) badass shot she got in the trailer was literally her walking away from Jordan's funeral fire, with her other ex and her future boyfriend flanking her from either side. If that doesn't summarize this show, I don't know what does.

And while I admire her decision to reconnect with her parents, it also seems rather messed up considering she literally just decided to be The Alpha. So let's leave the pack that has suffered so many recent losses... all alone. That's... not exactly Alpha behavior, even if it is the right thing for her as an individual at that point.

I mean like yeah sure she came back to become an Alpha, but still it's—a weird choice.

BAT BAT EXISTS BAT IS THERE I LOVE BAT HE GOT TO SPEAK. I am so so salty that he didn't get developed properly, that his relationship with Maia didn't get fully fleshed out.

On Isabelle & Simon:

Isabelle as the Human Torch is sure a very nice visual, to be honest.

(ALSO HELEN! HELEN! HELEN! I am 200% sure I can ship Aline/Helen/Isabelle in peace now. Don't @ me.) Though explain to me why Helen doesn't get the fuck away from Isabelle ASAP after realizing that Downworlders turn Isabelle into basically a bomb? I mean, she is half-Seelie.

...and can everyone maybe focus on “Izzy now catches fire when she is touching Downworlders” instead of “SHE WAS KISSING SIMON!!!”...? Like, priorities, dudes?

And how did she conclude “I explore when I touch demon blood. I should totally go to Edom! The place where demons live!”... and act like that should totally “”shield”” her from the atmosphere? What... logic goes into that? I'm serious, someone explain to me why “I explode when I come in contact with demonic stuff” leads to “but I'ma be extra safe in hell where all demonic things live and the very atmosphere should be demonic!!!”...

And Simon and Isabelle... kiss once... like... literally once and the next time they get a moment of being shown alone they literally already fucked. This show... knows that... you can actually go on dates and have a relationship with... oh no never mind this show has never heard the word “pacing” before I forgot sorry LOL

On Luke:

...But like why did his runes return though. I mean, getting turned into a Downworlder like... burned the runes away. They were gone. Why would him no longer being a Downworlder also immediately reapply all of his runes.

I don't know if I really like this, to be quite honest. I don't feel like we know enough about Luke for me to know what to feel about this? Like, he said he didn't want to be alpha and he's been turned against his will sure, but he's been a wolf for like 20 years now. It's... I don't know what to feel on this. Like, he seems really happy about this, but it also feels incredibly cheap due to the show never actually focusing on his thoughts and feelings??

Okay no now that I'm through with it I actually actively hate it. He should have become mundie. Erase it all. Let him live a mundie life with Clary.

On Lorenzo:

I love how Lorenzo brings up the Downworld Council. SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT TOO. What the fuck happened to that. But nope, SoRrY Lorenzo you are just here to save Magnus. Again. (Others too, but still. It's once again for selfish reasons of helping the Shadowhunters with shit.)

I really like where they took his character. I thought he was just going to be a shallow prop to take Magnus down. Petty and empty. But that they actually give him growth and personality and a personal goal and that they also made him rekindle with Magnus after admitting what he truly wants? That was... actually good. That was more than I ever expected from those writers. Huh.

ALSO FUCK ME I AM 100% BEHIND LORENZO/UNDERHILL.

On Max:

MAAAAX!!! MAX WITH GLASSES! MAX BEING PRECIOUS! He is literally the only thing about episode 22 that I liked. Like that entire final episode was a fucking shit-show.

On Raphael:

Honestly at this point just fuck this show. It is his father’s wedding and he is a mundane. But let’s just have him interact with his ex and her new guy so he can give them his blessing instead of having him actually interact with Magnus.