#except for the last few days bc i can't sleep but AGAIN. this means nothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peeterparkr · 5 years ago

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limits of desire⤳t.h.||11

chapter 11: choose the menu

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the London Eye and the fish and chips.

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty, fluffy, i didn’t proof read lmao, mentions of cheating (?)

word count: 6.3k

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

I’m so sorry this took so long, Finals happened and I had no time bc between the finals and mental breakdowns I couldn’t write, then I finished and had to sleep for a thousand hours. But here it is! I hope you like it, as usual, leave comments, reblog and tlel me what you thinl

The last day with Tom. In London. Just thinking about it gave her chills. She didn't look forward to the last hours of the next day. In just a few weeks she would be married. As soon as the year began, she would be the lady married to Miguel. So impressive this was to hear.

It was not possible, no.

She would stop seeing him forever. She had to say goodbye, right?

And how could she make such great decisions? and y/n couldn't stop thinking about what Lizzie had said. Take the last chance with him. She wouldn't have to see him later. Except at the wedding, of course.

Although doing any nonsense could mean risking him as the maid of honor. Although for that case, she would have Lizzie as a spare maid of honour.

But she could get something out of this. However, and she wondered, did she want to see Tom at her wedding? Was it really someone she needed to see there?

She was afraid. That was clear. Very afraid. She believed that she would find herself at the altar, and if she dared to turn around and see Tom, everything would go awful.

Wondering if she would ever get another chance. Because it all came to that.

But y/n … she was being foolish. She had never been the one who wanted a great wedding. Actually, all that nonsense she was planning, she didn’t like. She liked love in words. That's why she read it, wrote it. But, nothing like the wedding she was planning.

For y/n, love was not the messages she received at 7 in the morning from Miguel waking her up telling her that he loved her, for her, love was that Tom knew that she knew the dialogues of the first season of Friends or that if anybody caressed her nose she would fall asleep quickly.

Tom knew things about y/n that nobody else knew. Clearly. All Tom didn't know was that she was madly in love with him. But of course, that was a secret to keep.

But she was also in love with Miguel.

But she didn't have to think about that.

Tom had been quiet from the moment she told him that the next day was her last day in London. How should he react? Y/N was sure she didn't want to know.

They had decided to walk, Tom was still silent. It was getting dark while they looked around. Tom had his hands in his pockets and was completely distracted. And y/n was still thinking to herself. She could not let him go. She couldn't make her last day in London go with a Tom who didn't want to talk.

It was usual, she thought, his reaction. Tom always became a little withdrawn when he didn't like something. But what else could she do? Stay to be the shadow that watches him hook up with yet another girl?

That didn't mean she couldn’t take advantage.

"Don't you love it?" asked y/n.

Tom blinked fast and cleared his throat. "What?"

"London," she replied. "Especially in this time of the year, the Christmas lights."

"Ah, yes."

"With the lights, the sounds ... God, I'm going to miss this."

Tom looked at her, before stopping her. "Don't go."

"How can I not go, Tom?" She giggled. "I'm going to get married."

Tom sighed. "Yes, that’s ... true but ... It's London, you know? You love London.”

“But I also love adventure, ”she reminded him. "And this sounds like one, don't you think?"

"I suppose."

She turned around as she saw hanging Christmas lights and the lights of the stores and pubs illuminating her. The honking cars, and the smell of fish and chips coming out of the pub they were passing by. People with their coats, not so warm coats. A couple kissing under a sign that had a rose. Y/N smiled to herself.

"It's amazing." She grinned, Tom took her hand, and she didn't take it away. She felt a tear fall as she turned to see the buildings, the people, listening to the music that was still coming out of that pub. "I'm going to miss it.”

"London is going to miss you," he said. "But no one as much as I’ll miss you," he said as he pulled her to a hug. She laughed as she hugged him back, putting a hand on his chest.

"Stay," Tom said again.

"Tom ..."

"Why not?"

"I'm getting married, Tom, besides, nothing stops me here," she said. “Everything… everything points to the fact that I have to go.”

Tom looked at her sadly, while taking Y/n's hand, still in his chest. “I need you to stay. Can't… can't he move here?”

“No, no, ”She ignored his gaze. Feeling how it could melt her. Tom was playing with her again, like that night at the wedding, but she didn't want to stop this time. Because she knew that as soon as Monday arrived, she would get on a plane and never return to this. “It's not the same, you know? He has his career, a job… He's a doctor, I..., and I, well, I don't… I can look for a job there. ”

“But what about your dreams? ”

“ Sometimes you have to let go for love, ”she sentenced.

"Yes ... I guess...But...yeah." Tom released her hand.

Y/N kept walking, watching the night. "I need to ... Tell me you love me and I'll stay."

Tom frowned. "What?" He had stopped dead.

"No ... I mean that ... London,” she cleared her throat. “I need London to tell me it loves me, yeah that it loves me, I don't know," she laughed nervously. "It's just ... I'm scared, very scared, I won't see this anymore and ..."

"Hey, hey, you can always come ... You know?" He swallowed. "And ... I ... London, yes London loves you ..."

"Yes, but ... I dunno," she sighed. "If I stayed, everything would be very complicated, you can't..."

Tom took her hands. "I ..."

Y/N looked him in the eyes, while he shook his head. "No ... No, let's not think about that, okay?"

Tom evaded her gaze. He was shaking, she didn't know why, but they went on their way.

She looked up. "It's the details, you know?" She said while she was looking at the houses, the shops, the people. “Everything that makes London, well… London.”

“What are you going to miss most?”

She smiled at him. "I'm going to miss you the most."

Tom took her hand again, and she didn't know why he didn't want to take it away. Maybes he knew that he wanted to do something silly and that's why she was encouraging him to do it.

“Of course.”

“No, but… I guess that, the details, the things that people want to come here for, you know? Everything that makes London a dream, from Buckingham palace, or West End, I don't know, the pleasure of having a beer in any corner, or being able to walk in very narrow alleys, the fact that always seems like everyone is in a hurry and that In the end, everyone wants a moment to ... Pause, as if everyone wanted ... A moment only to stop and laugh. That feeling that everything is happening but at the same time you can find a place where everything is calm ... Listening to someone insulting me while they ask for money or that we can find stores of everything, old or new...The details...that, that is what I will miss. ”

Tom just looked at her while she talked. Y/N knew she didn't want to leave London, she did love Mexico, but London ... London meant everything to her. A bit. Not really. But it did bring memories. Especially with Tom. That was the problem.

Tom.

“It'll be our last day together, then?”

“Yeah, and we won't see each other until the wedding,” she admitted.

Tom sighed “Right… The wedding.”

“Then off to our lives, and we'll see what the future holds,” she gulped.

Tom looked at her. “Maybe it'll bring us back together.”

“I hope.” But she didn't. She needed a cleanse.

"So tomorrow's our last day to do whatever we want?" Tom asked.

"I ... I guess, but, enough about that," she said. “What will we do tomorrow? It's my last day… ”

Tom bit his lip. "You'll see."

So she didn't go straight to sleep that night. This time she went to her mother and grandmother at the hotel.

"Ma, you know it ... I have to go," said Y/N. "I have to check too many wedding things, besides, I want to spend more time with Miguel ... And I'll see you in a few days, besides ... I don't know, I don't feel like my place is in London."

"Are you sure?" Her mother asked. “It was always your dream, that's why you moved here to study..”

“It's a new chapter in my life, dreams change.”

“Your heart doesn't,” her mother reminded her. "We can't fool the heart, y/n."

"I've been fooling it for a while now, mum."

Her mother sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Miguel loves me, mum," she said. "And he is willing to love me as he should."

"And you love him?" She asked.

Y/N approached the window, looking at the lights offered by the city, watching the movement, the cars, the people. Everything that made London, London.

"Yes, I love him," she stated. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to miss London, but I have to let go."

"Let go London?" Her mother pushed. "Or whom?"

"I'm stuck in a moment, mum," she reminded her. "I can't spend my whole life waiting for something that won't happen."

Her mom looked at her. "Isn't it something ... Rushed?"

"Maybe," admitted y/n. "Maybe ... But, I've always been ... I've always been someone who plans, makes lists, has everything perfect, I was always that, the perfect girl, and I never did anything ... Impulsive, always living by the book, " she said. "And this ... It feels good, I'm sure of this."

And she wasn't, but she didn't want her mother to judge her. Because she knew this was wrong but if she didn't? What?

Her heart had healed and she didn't need someone to break it again. Less the same person who is always breaking it.

“I just want you to be happy,” her mother insisted. “I don't want you to make any mistakes.”

“I won't mum, and I am happy… And I'll be happy.”

Not so far from there, Tom was having a different but similar breakdown. He had wanted to kiss y/n few thousand times that night but he hadn't. Tom was an idiot.

“I've never felt like this before,” Tom admitted as he poured down a shot of tequila for both him and Haz, Haz was sitting across him. "So hopeless."

"Did you tell her?"

“No, Haz, I couldn't… I felt like the moment was not right,” Tom sighed. “I don't know, I think I had to let her talk, and she said… I don't know, that her place was not here and that nothing stopped her anymore, besides, she is getting married, man, I can't just make her stay if she marries Miguel ”

“ Let me remind you that we don't want that wedding to happen, ”Haz said. “Isn't that the point?”

“Problem is… I see her very determined, when, I dunno… When she tried on that lingerie, I don't know, she just thought about Miguel, and when she dropped the bomb that she would leave on Monday,” Tom closed his eyes. "I just know ... That ... It's true, she wants to leave, for some reason I feel like she wants to get away from me."

"Do you think so?"

"I've hurt her too much," said Tom. “I think I've always known, and besides you know more than anyone.”

“Yes, well… Yes, she has swallowed some tears, but… It was because she believed that you did not love her, how about now?”

“She said you have to let go if you love someone, ”Tom said. “Maybe I love her so much that I have to let her go, let her fulfill her dream.”

"And is Miguel her dream?"

"Her dream is to escape from me," Tom said.

"Don't give up, she hasn't said 'I do' yet," Haz reminded him.

"Right," Tom sighed. "I don't want to go to the wedding."

"Why did you agree to be her maid of honour?"

"Being with her, I guess, making her happy, yes ... Figure out some way to get her off of him," Tom rubbed his face . “But, there is no time left.”

“There is still time.”

“I don't know, maybe I was all wrong, maybe he is better for her than me, he's so, he's tall, he's perfect,” Tom put the blank eyes. “And he managed to tell her what he felt in a short time.”

“Nobody's perfect,” Haz reminded him. "Well, maybe this tequila."

Tom groaned. “Huh, a gift from Miguel, he made it, his dad has a distillery.”

Haz scoffed.

"I can't go," Tom continued. “I can't watch her marry him, I've lost her already… She's moving to Mexico.”

“Bullshit.”

“If you love something, you have to let it free,” Tom declared as he downed his shot.

“Said by a pussy and used by pussies ever since,” Haz stated.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Not really," Tom shrugged. "Let's see, La La Land, they both let each other go."

"Pussies."

"Casablanca, Bogie puts her on the plane," Tom continued.

"Pussy."

"Bogie's a pussy?" Tom frowned.

“Big pussy,” Haz admitted taking down another shot. “Tom… I just need you to realize how stupid you are.”

“Thanks?”

“Yes, you are stupid but I need you to realize it now,” Haz said. “You've got to fight for her now, not tomorrow, not next week, now. You're both tailor-made for each other, don't let it be too late. ”

And he wouldn't.

Tom had arrived at 7 am sharp in the morning, at the hotel, where he had anxiously knocked at y/n's hotel’s room door. She opened it while yawning.

“What is this?” She laughed, as he gave her a bouquet of flowers. She yawned. “It's so early, Tom.”

“I ordered breakfast, too, should be here any minute now,” He kissed her cheek as he walked in. “It's your last day in London,” he reminded her. “I don't want you sleeping it out, so get ready and get some comfortable shoes, we're walking today.”

“What?” She yawned, as she sat down on her bed. “Mmmh… It's too early,” she stated before plopping down on the bed, curling up to her sheets.

Tom smirked as he looked down at the curtains. “C'mon, y / n.”

“No,” she snuggled to her pillow.

"Y/N."

She just groaned.

“Rise and shine!” He yelled before opening up the curtains, letting… the bright and white foggy light come through. Tom chuckled, as he had expected more sun.

Y / N watched him, flipped him off and threw a pillow over her head.

"C'mon, love," he sat beside her and started moving her.

"No."

"Please, I have a whole day planned out," he insisted, lifting the pillow. “We have a sharp schedule.”

Y / N looked at him, she sat up, placed a long kiss on his cheek, giving Tom butterflies and then walked to pick up her clothes.

Tom watched her as she had stepped into the bathroom. Tom gulped down every single sentiment of fear and anxiety that was invading his body. He rubbed his face as he heard the water of the shower falling down. He started to walk around the room, as he saw the engagement ring on the nightstand. He picked it up and stared at it, wishing it was the one he had chosen, wishing it was him whom she was going to get married to.

But he had a feeling that not only him was well aware that today could be his last chance.But he couldn't blow it off, it had to be perfect, because otherwise, it would be too late. And still ... It wouldn't. Because he was willing to fight until the last minute.

Not so long after he heard the knock of the door, he placed the ring back on the nightstand and walked over to the door, he smelled the food as he paid off the for the room service. He laughed to himself, y/n was going to hate him.

He placed the two plates on the table as he then received the cups of tea. It was just a matter of waiting. Y / N then had walked out drying her hair off with the towel, already clothed as she was smelling the food.

“Is it…?” She closed her eyes as her thoughts were confirmed. "Oh my god, you're an idiot," she laughed as she walked to the table, where a smirking Tom received her.

"I had to," he told her.

"No, you didn't."

Tom laughed. “C'mon, a traditional English breakfast for your last day in London, seems like the right thing, don't you think?”

Y / N rolled her eyes. "I ... well."

"I know you love it, please," Tom pulled the chair for her. “Sit down, m'lady.”

Y / N laughed as she nudged him. “You're the worst.”

“I know, here's your English breakfast tea, too,” he giggled evilly. She just rolled her eyes.

"So," she took a bite. “What's your plan for the day?”

Tom shrugged. "You'll see."

"Tom ..."

"Hey, I know you like to plan ahead," he chuckled. “But today, let me take control of it, okay?”

“Couldn't we have our normal Sunday?” She insisted.

Tom shook his head. "No, you ... you need to say goodbye to all you love," he gulped. “And I want you to see London in the eyes of the girl who came here when she was 5 and fell in love with the place.”

Y / N smiled and reached for his hand. Tom grinned as they kept eating. They held hands the whole time. Tom didn't know what she was onto, but he was not complaining.

She had not put on her ring.

It was only 8:30 am and they had already gone out. Y / N was jokingly complaining about how early it was and Tom kept laughing.

“Where are we going?” She asked again.

"First, we'll go to a market, I know you love to go to markets and I know it's the first place your dad brought you when you first came to London," Tom told her while he was parking. He saw how y/n’s eyes had changed, a smile appeared on her face.

And he had taken her to a market, where they had passed through different stores, a man selling books, others selling smoothies, others selling necklaces. Fruits, clothes, alcohol. Selling everything. They saw t-shirts that said: 'I love London' and the most clichés souvenirs. They walked, laughed, and held hands, even flirted. Some fans had seen Tom and asked for photos, but he was very discreet.

They took pictures and tried everything, anything that screamed London! They would be there. They were beginning to see the details of those who had spoken, such as the way people looked out the windows or people who didn’t see their way because they were on their cell phone.

At 10 am, Tom said it was time to leave. Y/N wanted to keep walking, but Tom insisted.

"Please," y/n laughed, taking him by the arm.

"I told you the itinerary is tight," Tom said as he approached the car. “You'll like it.”

“Fine, I trust you.”

“Besides, I don't trust London traffic, less on a Sunday,” he laughed.

They got back into his car, and he pointed out small London details. They drove past their favourite bakery and they drove past Y/N's old college apartment. As they were getting near to their destination y/n realized where he was taking her.

“Are you serious?”

“We are just taking a picture there,” Tom laughed. “It's your…”

“Last day in London, yes, but I don't have to do this, I'm no tourist,”

“Let's celebrate our history, darling,” Tom laughed. “C'mon, people are going to ask you all about these places, you need to have updated pics with it.”

Y / N laughed, as they were approaching the Big Ben. “You know, wouldn't it be silly to take a picture near it… They won't even see it,” she pointed out.

"Oh, you'll have your far picture later, silly," Tom chuckled. “I've thought everything out.”

They got there, took some silly pictures.

“It's… 10:30, great, we still have time, but we have to run, there'll be a lot of people,” Tom rushed as he took her by her hand and started walking.

"Time for what?" She laughed. "Tom, this is so crazy!"

Tom grinned. “I know.”

And they walked through the crowds, not letting the other go. And she'd chuckle at the tourists with their not so original pictures and then Tom forced her to copy their pictures, pictures where she couldn't hold down her excitement and happiness. Their smiles were growing bigger and bigger each time they'd take a picture, laughing as they tried to make their most clichés poses.

They finally arrived at the destination Tom had planned for, it was going to be the Changing of the Guard right in front of Buckingham's palace. Y / N couldn't stop laughing as they merged through the crowds, mostly made up of tourists with big 'I love London' t-shirts, just like the hoodies they had bought. It was silly. Very silly, but they were having fun.

They watched the guards and then took silly pictures again. It was just perfect.

By 12, they were hungry so they stopped for a snack. Of course, Tom had suggested bloody fish and chips because he insisted that even if she didn't eat them because she claimed she didn't like it, she would miss them.

"I won't," she declared.

"Y / N, please," Tom laughed. “I bet you'll call me one day, all drunk in the middle of the night, knowing you shouldn't call because you'll…” He cleared his throat. “You'll be a married woman craving some bloody fish and chips.”

“I'll miss the beer,” she admitted. “But I can get beer there, so we're good.”

Tom shook his head. "But you'll also miss me."

She sighed. “You're right in that.”

“And the fish and chips.” Tom smiled as he popped a chip into his mouth. "You'll miss this."

She sighed. “Fine, I will.”

I have grinned. "Now ..."

"We're going to the Tower, aren't we?" She guessed and Tom nodded. “How did you know?”

“What?” Tom smiled, innocently.

“We're doing exactly the same thing I did with my brother and father when I was 5,” she chuckled. “Even back then it was crazy.”

“I talked to your mother,” he admitted. “Last night.”

“Ah, you did?” She gulped.

"Yeah, told her I wanted to make all of this special," he told her. “You're my best friend, y/n, I only want the best for you.”

And she only smiled.

But it brought them back to the old times, even if they did nothing near this, they were back to whom they were, long before their feelings were an impediment to have a great conversation. They were back to the laughs and the silly jokes, to the old jokes and their routines. Creating memories, without knowing. Having fun.

They kept exploring London as two people who're going for the first time, like two lovers on a Honeymoon. From the London Tower to Trafalgar Square. They even made a quick tour of the British Museum.

They stopped to shop for a few things, to eat a few snacks and to take pictures everywhere.

The night was falling down, and they seemed to be getting closer and closer, with the excuse that the weather was getting colder, but with the deep intention to be holding the other. They'd often find each other like that in the old times. But this time, it felt different. And Tom wasn't sure why, but he had noticed her. And he knew her, and she had been flirting, and maybe Tom had finally gone completely mad but he was sure that there was something in the air. They way they were speaking, the way they were looking at each other, the way she was whispering everything to him and the way her head would fall to his shoulder every time it could. How their hands would come back together or how their cheeks kept blushing.

Any moment. Any moment could be the perfect moment, yet Tom couldn't manage to say it. Because he didn't want to ruin anything.

But he couldn't help but notice it. Y / N was not acting at all like she had the day before, nor had she mentioned Miguel or the fact that she was leaving. It was as if both were trying to forget it and try to make as many memories as they could before they could leave. Tom had tried to ignore it, but he couldn't, it would be present from time to time. But he was trying, somehow, even if this was another lame attempt to try and get her back, it wasn't but another thing to treasure, because there was still that huge possibility that she'd still leave tomorrow no matter what happened today . Would he tell her he was in love with her?

Just as they arrived at one of their last Destinations, Tom was shaking. Deciding whether or not he should tell her. He had booked something special at Coca Cola's London Eye, a place where tourists were going to be, especially now. But Tom had booked a private capsule and couldn't help but feel nervous.

“I've actually never been to the London Eye,” she admitted. "Never ... Never thought I had to."

"C'mon, really?" Tom laughed.

"Really," she chuckled as she rubbed her arms, hinting she was cold. Tom wrapped an arm around her as they were going to skip the 4d cinema.

“Thought your dad took you here,” Tom pointed out.

She chuckled. "We ... We were going to, but I fell asleep," she laughed. "So we ... we didn't."

Tom smiled. "It's beautiful, you're gonna love it," he declared. “Perfect way to say goodbye.”

“I thought we still had more stuff to do,” she chuckled.

"Yeah, we do ... But, you know," Tom gulped. “I hope this isn't too cheesy, it was the only package available, alright?”

And Tom knew y / n hadn't expected it. But Tom, as cheesy as it sounds, had booked the Cupid private capsule.

They were received by the host, who had definitely recognized Tom but tried to play it cool. They were served their glasses of champagne and y / n chuckled.

“I never thought my London Eye experience would be this luxurious,” she laughed.

“What, did you want to wait hours and then be stranded with a whole lot of people?” Tom asked.

Y / N shrugged. "Maybe, the real experience," she winked. “I'm kidding… This is… This is amazing.”

“Only the best for you,” Tom said.

Y / N looked at the host who was low-key freaking out by Tom. She approached Tom and laughed. "I'm gonna miss this."

Tom laughed. "What? Getting luxurious stuff? ”

“ No, idiot, though, ”she raised her eyebrows with a smug smirk. "No, I'm kidding, no, no-"

"Feeling like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?" Tom laughed.

She rolled her eyes. "No," she sipped from her champagne. "That I know Tom Holland."

Tom frowned. “Leaving doesn't mean you won't know me.”

“No, I know, but… It's weird, you know?” She looked up at him. “Like…” She turned around as they were finally going up one step. “People freaking out because of you, all day people were taking pictures of us, or freaking out and fangirling and… Everyone sees that part of you, you know? The big movie Star. ”

Tom listened.

“And… for some others, mostly my college friends,” she rolled her eyes. “You were… you were this asshole or womanizer.”

Tom cleared his throat. “Not anymore.”

“You are to them,” she reminded him. “But to me… You… You are Tom. I know you, you know? ”

Tom bit his lip. "Yeah, I ... I guess you do."

"I mean, maybe I'm just ... Priding myself on it."

Tom grinned. “And you should.”

“And I should.”

But before they could continue talking, and / n stopped looking at him and finally turned around to see the city, and it took her breath away, with the lights and the stars and everything that was putting out a show for them. It was as if the city was bright only for them, as if they had to be there, together, enjoying the moment. Because this would remain in their memories forever.

Tom just wrapped an arm around her and didn't say anything. She needed to see London, she needed to see that she was meant to stay.

When they finished, they stayed at the lounge for a bit but decided to go to the car, y/n was still holding his hand.

“Tom?” She called for him as they were walking to the car.

"Yeah?" Tom looked at her. The city lights were reflecting on her like an angels glow.

“Thank you,” she said before stopping him, placing her hand on his chest. Tom gulped as he stared at the hand.

“No worries.”

“No, really, for everything, from… The day at the bridal shop, to… to the bridal shower, and today, really, today, I'm sure this is the best day of my life,” she gulped as she stared at him.

“I love you, y/n,” and he had said it. And he meant it and he hoped she had understood because the words had come out so easily yet it was too terrifying to say them again.

Before she could do anything else, she kissed him. Because that's what they had both been wanting to do all day long, all these years. And their kiss was sweet and soft and strong and intense and everything you can imagine from a first kiss, with flames and sparks and everything around, with all the cliché they say, with fireworks and music playing. Feeling like every time their lips touched again it was a new story that they both wanted to read. Like a poem, those which y/n loves to read. The kiss was everything and better than they had imagined.

And she separated first, but he reconnected his lips with hers, as if he was telling her everything he felt with the kiss, all that flame he felt inside, and as if with that kiss, he was apologizing for not having done it before. And he tasted it as if it were the most delicious dessert he had ever tasted. Without knowing it, he had lifted her off the ground while her hand caressed his face.

She pulled away again, and smiled, letting her head lean against his head. Tom felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. And a part of him knew, he was sure, she wouldn't leave London.

And it all made sense, why she hadn't taken her ring and why she'd let him take her hand all day, or why she had kept flirting, or why she would whisper to his ear. It had all led to this.

"Let's go to my place," he had said, because he wanted to spend every second with her. She laughed to herself as she looked down.

Tom thought she looked a little sad, but then she pecked his lips again, assuring him that everything was fine, that was what Tom understood, anyway.

Tom kept kissing Y / N's hand all the way. While she kept smiling. Tom was quiet. But it didn't mean things were wrong.

They got home, Tom had texted Haz to leave the building and let them be alone. As soon as Tom opened the door, y/n had thrown herself back into his arms, connecting their lips.

She pushed him against the wall while kissing him hungrily. Tom pulled away as he chuckled.

"C'mon, no, we've .. We've got time, let's ..."

Because even though he was dying to kiss every beauty spot on her body, he knew what to expect, he had to do Things right. He took her in his arms and laughed.

But she kept kissing him, tracing from his chin to his neck, Tom followed the game, because he wasn't dumb. He had waited too long to taste her lips, and he wouldn’t waste his time. And Tom kept tasting her lips, they reminded him of all the good times, like when they had given him the role of Spiderman, it wasn't even better. It was nectar that he did not want to stop tasting, his hands kept tracing her silhouette.

Little by little, their coats were bothering them. They ended up on the couch, where Tom dropped her gently while kissing her bristly skin, slowly but hungrily. He was outlining her body with his thumb as he stared at her. His index were brushing her, making y/n tickle.

“Y / N-- I--” Before Tom could say anything y / n was moulding her lips with his.

“Not now,” she said before pushing him back, her now on top. Tom felt as he was getting flustered, he blushed as he felt her smirk. Tom had never seen her like this. She just kept kissing him, each time more and fierier.

But then, she suddenly stopped.

Tom opened his eyes abruptly to see her, as she sat on his lap, defeated. Y / N just closed her eyes as she shook her head.

"This is wrong," she whispered.

"No, no, it ... it isn't," Tom said. “y/n, I...I've wanted this for a long time,” he admitted.

Y/N just cupped his face as tears were streaming down her face. “I...I know,” she gulped. “But I'm...I'm still an engaged woman,” she sobbed. “I…” She stood up. “What am I doing?”

Tom gulped. “I… It's okay, this can be slow, I understand,” Tom watched her.

“No, no, I…I should leave,” she said as she looked for her shoes and coat.

Tom followed her. “Y/N,” he looked her in the eyes. “Tell me this isn't what you've wanted all this time.”

Her eyes were shaking as she, defeatedly, looked down. Tom lifted her chin and then kissed her again. And she gave in.

Nothing else happened, really. It was a combination of them cuddling and kissing, and kissing again. Tom didn't try anything, and when y/n would start more intense, Tom would calm her. Knowing that he wanted to do things right. This wasn't a one night stand, this wasn't like all those women he'd been with before. This was the love of his life, and he was finally having the privilege of tasting her lips.

And they had ended up with hoodies and curled up on the couch, with a blanket over them, at the hours passed and passed. And suddenly, it was the am, and they had had conversations at dawn before, but this seemed different.

They didn't address their feelings, it would be condescending to. But they talked about their dreams and how she missed her dad and brother, how she wished they'd be there for her right now.

“I don't know what to do,” she admitted.

“You don't have to do anything,” Tom told her.

She sighed. “This means losing someone very important,” she declared.

“I know, but… It's better like this, tomorrow this won't matter,” Tom whispered.

And she cried again. And eventually, Tom had gently caressed her nose until she fell asleep. And Tom did, too. Because for the first time, he was holding her as something more.

Big was his surprise when he had seen he woke up without any warm body on top of him. He looked for her around the house but y/n was nowhere to be found. He called her and it sent him straight to voicemail. No answer.

He knew he had to give her time. But for him, even though there was no rush, he didn't want to take things slow. He had to continue kissing her and loving her.

But he needed to call her, they needed to talk.

He gave it until the afternoon when Haz arrived. He told him everything that had happened and Haz had cheered him. Haz said he understood, too, why y/n wasn't answering, he calmed him down, saying that she'd probably need time to think.

But they were already celebrating, he had stopped it. But he called her again, and it went straight to voicemail, yet again. He decided to call her mother, knowing it would be a little inappropriate but he wanted to know that she was fine.

“Hi, Anna!” Tom greeted her.

“Hi…”

“Hey, uh…”

“Oh, wait, thanks for yesterday, Tom, it was the best thing you could do for y/n,” her mother said over the phone.

Had she already told her mother? That was good news.

“Oh, right, right, I uh… had a great day,” Tom said with the biggest and dumbest smile on his face. “Is… y/n with you? She's not answering her phone and I need to talk to her,” Tom gulped.

“Oh, dear, she just boarded the plane like an hour ago, I thought you'd come by to say goodbye!” Anna said.

“She… she boarded the...What?” Tom couldn't understand what he was hearing.

“Yes, she already left! So we will see her in a few days! But there's still a lot of things to do for the wedding before we go, so we should-”

“She's… she's still getting married?” Tom asked.

Anna laughed. “Of course, Tom, ah you're always such a charmer, aren't you? Well, yes, she's---”

But Tom couldn't continue listening to her. He couldn't believe it.

Y/N was still going to get married.

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silverynight · 7 years ago

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Hi! May I ask for a Gramander story? Like, Newt lives with his father, a horrible and cruel man who hurts him but the boy meets Percy and he finds comfort in Percival, who helps him and hugs him? Maybe it's a little long but it's my first request and I would be so happy and tomorrow is my birthday so I can't sleep bc I'm nervous!!! Anyway. Thanks for your time. 💜💜💜💜

Percival never told anyone that when he knew he wanted to become an auror he also realized he was in love.

It was summer break and Percival only had 17 years old at the time; everyone was pressuring him to choose what path he was going to take to keep with his professional life, the truth was that he wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to end up working in something he didn’t like.

So he used to apparate in the woods, he enjoyed the peace that brought the nature to his mind. But one particular afternoon he discovered that peace was not the only good thing he could find in the woods; wildness and chaos were good too.

Because that was Newt to him; a mess in reddish curls with a wild personality that for some reason was completely irresistible to him.

Newt was 15 when he met him; Percival likes to close his eyes and try to recall that afternoon as best as he can, he enjoys drowning himself in every detail and sound he heard that day.

“Hey! Have you seen any wampus around here?” Percival got startled and immediately took his wand out his pocket; there was no one in front of him nor behind. So, where that voice had come from?

“I’m up here! Hi! My name’s Newt!” And then Percival saw one of the most beautiful boys he had ever seen sitting on a branch; a warm smile spread all over his features, on a face completely covered by adorable freckles. He jumped down the tree and walked towards him.

“Percival,” he blurted out his name after blinking like an idiot.

“Are you looking for a wampus too? You see, I read a book about them and it said they were common in these lands and since it’s my first time in America I thought I could go out and see one.”

Newt couldn’t stay still, even when talking with someone, he was constantly moving around, gesturing with his hands as he explained something he was passionate about. Percival loved that about him.

“Do you want to come with me?” He asked, Percival must’ve been quite distracted by the boy’s eyes because he didn’t know where they were going to go. Still, there was just one possible answer.

“Yes.”

They didn’t find any wampus that day, nor the next days they saw each other, but they enjoyed so much being together, they stopped caring about anything else.

Those were happy days for him, until he saw the marks. Newt had rolled up his sleeves because he had sworn he saw a bowtruckle and wanted to climb a tree to see it; just when Percival looked down to help Newt, his eyes caught the purple marks on his skin.

Percival Graves might be young, but he knew abuse; his mother’s friend used to come to the house and cry over her shoulder until she decided to report it. But it lasted long for Percival to learn that abuse was marks of fingertips over the skin, a black eye, a bruised lip or harsh words followed by a rough voice begging for forgiveness.

“Newt?”

The boy blushed when he followed the direction of his glance and quickly covered his arms again.

“It’s nothing,” he said, dismissing the subject with a wave of his hand. “I’m clumsy and I bump into things all the time.”

Percival was also familiar with that kind of response, but he didn’t pressure him. Without another word he approached Newt and hugged him, it only took a couple of seconds for the boy to finally relax in his arms. Percival knew in that moment, just when Newt buried his face in his neck, that he wanted to protect him and take care of him for the rest of his life. He also realized he wanted to do something for the people who couldn’t do it for themselves, he wanted to punish those who used power to hurt and abuse others.

He was going to be an auror.

Percival didn’t brought up that again, but he reminded Newt he could count on him, he could tell him anything and he’d try his best to help him. He also watched the boy closely, looking for any indication the situation was getting worse, because he was going to do something if that was the case.

Then, slowly, Newt started to trust him enough to tell him about the ‘incidents’ that happened in his house; he didn’t mention who was abusing him, but the details Percival made him think about a father figure.

“I was expelled from Hogwarts and he got mad,” he sobbed and Percival caressed his back whispering in his ear that he was not a failure, that he was brilliant and passionate and studying magical creatures was not something to be ashamed of.

“You have to report it, Newt. This is not okay.”

The boy shook his head, he was family; his mother had died, Theseus (his brother) was in England and he was the only one taking care of Newt.

“He’s sorry,” he said. “Told me he’d never do it again.”

Percival sighed and pulled Newt even closer. How to explain him that abusers always promised that and they never changed?

Then one day he saw Newt with a black eye and Percival decided, with the blood boiling in his veins, he had had enough.

“He usually doesn’t punched me in the face, it’s one of his rules,” Newt mumbled. “But he was so angry this time he forgot.”

“Take me to him,” Percival growled. “I’ll talk with him.”

But he wasn’t planning on just talking.

“No, Percy… please.”

“Newt, this has to stop. You can’t live like that. It’s not… He’s hurting you.”

“He’s sorry!”

They ended up arguing; Percival didn’t know what to do to help Newt. He thought about reporting it himself, but just when he suggested it Newt ran away and he never came back to the woods.

Later he found out he and his father went back to England.

Newt’s absence broke his heart.

***

It didn’t take long for Percival Graves to get a reputation; he was starting working as an auror at MACUSA and yet everyone who worked with him knew he was very strict, but he was especially harsh on abusers.

There were many rumors surrounding that fact, but none of them were close enough to him to confirm or deny them.

“Why you always look so grumpy, Graves?” Seraphina Picquery, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, asked him, joking.

To which Percival only growled in response, making her chuckle.

“Your lover left you or what?”

She was just kidding; they all started to joke around each other when a case was particularly difficult to relax and help them keep focused. But Percival couldn’t hold back his reaction, his lips twisted down, his eyes darkened in sorrow.

And Picquery noticed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine.” He cut her off. But it wasn’t. Newt wasn’t his lover, but Percival loved him. And he ran away because he didn’t know how to handle the situation. He had failed him.

One night when they arrested five wizards for trafficking, he saw him again. Newt still had the same innocence when he was a teenager, but also had a fire in his eyes, his passion had grown and Percival could see it in the way he was curled up around the demiguise; he was protecting him.

He was breathtaking.

“Percy?” His eyes sparkled when he saw him and Percival grinned from ear to ear.

“Newt.”

Percival had no other choice, he helped Newt, ignored the case he had (because if what he told him was true, then he had broken at least ten laws just by carrying that thing around). He also defended him in front of the President and the Director, Picquery, who’s eyebrows quirked up when she saw Newt.

They let him go and because Newt had nowhere to go he accepted Percival’s offer of spending the night at his house.

“That’s the one, right?” Seraphina smirked, knowingly.

“Yes,” he sighed and took a confused Newt by the arm and apparated with him outside of his home.

“I’m sorry. For leaving like that,” Newt mumbled that night, after thanking him many times for helping him.

“It’s okay. You were afraid. I understand,” Percival said, but as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he saw another bruise and it looked recent. “You still live with him?”

Newt nodded, the movement, cold, almost mechanic.

“I’m not there that much though. I’m always traveling.”

Percival stared at him and caressed his cheeks, Newt blushed a beautiful shade of red, but didn’t move away.

“I know you don’t want to report, but that doesn’t mean you still have to go back to him.”

“I have nowhere else to go, Theseus’ flat is small and he’d wonder why I’m not with our father. He doesn’t know,” he said and Percival felt a little lighter because at least this time Newt wasn’t trying to deny it.

“You can stay here, with me,” Percival blurted out.

“You’ve done enough for me already, I wouldn’t want to-”

“Stay.” Percival pleaded. “I want you to live with me.”

A few tears fell down from Newt’s eyes, but there was a soft smile when he threw himself at the auror’s arms.

“Thank you,” was the whisper Percival heard and he was happy to find out it was like the time hadn’t passed between the two.

***

Months passed; howlers and letters came demanding Newt to come back and Percival was glad to see that Newt was more secure, more firm in his responses and his refusal to return to England.

He made friends with the people of MACUSA; by the end of the first month everybody knew him because he started to bring Percival lunch and without realizing it, he became MACUSA’s unofficial consultant when it came to magical creatures.

Seraphina liked him, not only because he was adorable, but because he was her favorite thing to tease Percival Graves.

Everybody knew Percival was in love, except Newt. But he didn’t want to talk to him about it yet, he wanted to give him enough time for him to heal.

“You’re an idiot,” Seraphina huffed. “Just tell him you love him already.”

But he didn’t, not that night at least. Newt was the one who started their first kiss a week later and took Percival’s breath away that he couldn’t actually say what he felt, he whispered it over Newt’s lips instead.

By the time Theseus came to visit his brother Newt and Percival were engaged. Although that didn’t make the British auror a happy man, at least he approved. Of course, that was the last thing that crossed his mind after Newt talked to him about their father.

Percival was with Newt the whole time, he knew how difficult it was for him to admit what his father did to anyone who wasn’t Percival, it was even worse because it was his own brother.

He felt almost relieved when he saw that Theseus believed him, although he understood how difficult it was for him to accept the fact that his father was an abuser and he never noticed.

“I’m sorry, Newt,” Theseus said, voice broken.

“It’s not your fault, 'Seus.”

They found out later that Theseus had challenged his own father in a duel and won quickly and everything happened in front of his co-workers. And although Percival agreed with Newt that wasn’t the way to solve things, he was secretly pleased and took a mental note to send Theseus a bottle of wine on his birthday.

***

A year into their marriage, they met a child on the streets; he was just five but was very smart for his age as Newt noticed every time he talked to him.

He was also going to be a very good wizard, judging by the magic Newt felt around him.

Newt also was the first to notice the problem; he had experienced that same fear he saw every day in Credence’s eyes. He had known the pain caused by marks if violence, same marks he had seen on Credence’s little fingers.

Newt didn’t have to say anything, Percival was the one that suggested it; they were going to adopt the kid.

They face some problems because the child was in a muggle orphanage, but the court ended up giving them the custody of the kid because Percival was the Director of Magical Security by then and he was important in America and also because President Picquery helped as well.

It took some time for Credence to adjust to his new home, but he already liked them both so it wasn’t so hard, at least not to accept them. Although Newt had to help him to overcome the nightmares and panic caused by the abuse.

Percival discovered, with a fond grin, that he had a natural talent, as his Dad, to take care of magical creatures.

“Look, Papa!” Credence ran towards him as soon as he opened the door. “I found your watch. Niff had stolen it!”

Percival rolled his eyes, but chuckled anyway.

“Where’s your Dad?”

“Over here!” Newt was tickling the thief and scolding him for the things he had found in the fur of his belly. “Why? And how by Merlin’s beard did you manage to escape from the case?”

When Newt finished and the Niffler returned to his nest, he walked towards his husband and welcomed him with a kiss.

It was nights like that, with Newt kissing him slowly, Credence spreading his arms for Newt to pick him up and hugging them both by putting his palms over the his parents heads, when Percival thanked Mercy Lewis for making him apparate in that particular forest when he was just 17 years old.

*************

I hope you have a very happy birthday, anon!

#gramander #anonymous #ask silverynight

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