#except for the 10 pull
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Happy birthday, Birthday Buddy!!
Sorry I keep calling you an old man, but if we're being honest, we're both too old for this shit 😅😂
Also:
Alright game. I admit, that's more than I expected. Not huge, but more. But I better still get my birthday phone calls, or I swear...
#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me birthday#old woman making fun of older men#here's what you get on your b-day btw#for vip i think#except for the 10 pull#because of course that takes vouchers 🙄
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just remembered the end of TD s1 when rust literally opens his cheeky whore mouth and asks marty "are we gettin' engaged?" out loud on HBO national television in year of the lord 2014
#it's been over 10 years since I saw that live as it aired.........still don't have words for the experience except maybe transcendental lmao#the whiplash we went through in those last 15-20 mins was for sure crazy#rust seeing the void....shots fired...stabbing...pulling out the knife...thinking rust DIED oh mygjrjgod then tears and NICER RIBBONS#true detective#rust x marty
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appreciation post for sylus's collar in that one outfit and cutscene. that's all i wanted to say
#it makes me all kinds of bonkers. that's all#very nice to pull him around with. wait what who said that#ari.stuffs#suggestive#IN CASE.#anyway your honor i think i need like 10 more cutscenes of him on his knees letting us kick him to the ground. for my mental health#it would fix me. trust#except those cutscenes should be for ME and ONLY me-#f/o: sylus
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im so fucking conflicted man, like this is making me cry
#not just about that previous thing#but also.....#i need rules to function in my head#how to decode good from wrong? rule: dont hurt people if you can avoid it#how to reasonably define hurting people#when i dunno what would hurt them? rule: as a baseline treat other people the way you would like to be treated unless they specify otherwisr#and jt works! it's a system#its the fucking wjat to we owe each other again. working out these reasonable rules is a never ending task#but when talking to people....#im like a programming language#so i can do a lot! but i have to be instructed. when dealing with exceptions/problems when i don't know what exactly to do to say to react#but like. i have issues with my self esteem i guess. for.no reason#how am i supposed to talk about it to people. why would i do that? how can i ask for advice if i already know what i am going to do?#i live in my head#and im so tired of this#i wish i could be myself or lobotomized#ive been feeling this pulled-taut rope in ky stomach whenever i think about my social life#i wish itd snap and ill awkwardly cut everyone off again#which makes me a hypocrite because im breaking a rule. im choosing to hurt people for my own convenience#does anybody elses brain work this way and PLEASE is there a solution? i need to stop thinking#so far mthe only solution ive found is grey zone (i dont know how to actually get real hard) drugs and a lobotomy#or just killing myself outright. i dont think i can do it yet but i wish i could#if i had a gun in my hands now for 5 minutes; as much as i want to i wouldn't be able to shoot myself#do you understand how this fact makes me feel even more like shit? depressed enough to wallow in self pity and misery not depressed enough#to solve it#just whine whine whine#i want to think like literally ANYBODY else think#i.want to.not need to make 10 yeat old ass rules for myself#but i dont know how to behave otherwise#im sorry i feel really bad
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shout out to zayne for being the only l&ds guy I can count on ♡
#except that one time (side eyes his medical rescue card that i dont have)#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#i had 2 10 pulls and somehow got him 😭
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Actually no is this my sign to go back to a3
#A3 my most beloved... My homie my one and only my og#My one and only my lifeline...? And I woke up just in time?? Now I wake up by your side?? <- song ref#I was going thru act... Uh#Act 4 winter troupe's part#And AUGHHH I MISS THEM#Except I wasn't reading I was mostly just listening OANDKFKS I can't read jp#Also. Hehe. Dec cards#FOR ONCE IN MY YEARS OF PLAYING A3 I FINALLY GOT TSUMUGI'S SSR IN MY FIRST 10 PULL 😭😭😭#Where would I be without a3#☆ taruchi rambles 💬
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I NEVER
FUCKING
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE
#Good god I thought it was going to be impossible to get all three of these in the same fucking patch#BUT I FINALLY WON A 50/50#TWO IN A ROW EVEN#AND KAFKA AND LINGSHA WERE BOTH EARLY#Which is why I could go for the cone lmfao#I got Lingsha at 40 pity#Which was technically One (1) pull because I did 3 10 pulls on Feixiao before she disappeared#So I had 70 tickets to throw on the lightcone cause Lingsha's like#My new fave wife I kinda Had to#BUT I GOT THEM ALL#I NEVER LOSE EXCEPT WHEN I DO#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#hsr#honkai star rail#I know I Know posting pulls#I don't care#I'M SO HAPPY#I DESERVE THIS#Also ignore how Black Swan was on guarantee this was going to be a chore anyways#Because I lost a Firefly 50/50 and took a two month break#BUT I DID IT
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these guys are weeeird thank god you're normal A-chan haha right .
#everything is old except the first one🤦♂️#A/Randall/Anatoli relationship triangle can be explained in 10-15 google doc pages. 0 hates everyone.#kek i should draw anatoli sad that Randall is becoming more like A in her absence. randatoli endless loop of torture. it's the best#meanwhile 0 is pulling hair out because bff is fucking crazyyy and A's self projection other self created specifically to torment who 0#hates is more and more reminiscent of her. grabs randall by the scruff girl listen here we need A OUT this coma NOW.#ocs#art#artists on tumblr
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It really is like my brain went, "Wow, those are powerful intrusive thoughts you've got there. You know what's more powerful? Your desire to see this guy traumatized. Have 1.5 days of maladaptive daydreaming about them."
#I'm predicting this will continue for what's left of today#'pulled myself out of it' now but just enough to do things like post online and eat#I predict I'll return#I got up for the first time today (it's 7pm) and was suprised at how weak and shaky i felt#thought 'it is almost as if I experienced everything from the daydream. the power of one's mind over their physical well-being truly is#exceptional isn't it?' and then realized since I hadn't gotten up today I hadn't eaten and 'breakfast' was in the daydream#(was having trouble remembering whether it was or wasn't)#and of course knew I hadn't yesterday save for breakfast#which was real. I ate it outside and it was nice.#oh yeah and yahto fronted for like 10 minutes earlier but all he did was respond to our friend on the main blog and then we switched again#So it really has been a solid 1.5 days of nothing but daydreaming#Not about Cedar this is about the other one#Cedar also featured prominently. He just wasn't the main draw.#It was a coherent plotline but I wouldn't tell not-cedar the details of it on pain of death#I need something to call this person other than “not-cedar” or just using pronouns that WILL NOT communicate to them that it's them#And it's technically people not person but I don't know which they prefer#100% of people I've gotten obsessed with are also plural (all 2 of them) (or 14(?) depending on how you count it)#(Actually. Since I'm specifically obsessed with Cedar not his whole system it's more like 6? people)#(I'm not sure if there's a particular alter I like the most in the second system)
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i only managed to get through pulling for characters, loading them up with temp artifacts, and then doing dailies before my controller decided it needed to charge so i haven't done any quests yet - that'll probably be tomorrow now
this hellish day is almost over so i'm gonna just chill and not worry too much about getting anything done, so i'll be lurking around
#;forever yelling into the abyss (ooc)#( doesn't help that the allergies are really kicking my ass today despite taking the meds for them )#( so i feel like absolute garbage now )#( today is just. a total write off really )#( with the exception of those excellent pulls )#( i was on 34 pity so to get clor in the first 10 pull ??? beautiful )
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War Drums Progress 04/15/2024
109/162 Panels Inked 1 page still in the sketch phase.
14 pages in progress of being inked.
19 pages inked.
Gets me pretty excited thinking that I have more pages inked than in progress. I'm so excited to start this long awaited journey and tell you guys this story!
#Let's hope i can pull this off and get it done by May 25th#Some of those may say “0” or low numbers but they are in fact being worked on#backgrounds take forever but i am learning some good techniques as well as how to use the tools available to me to quicken the pace.#on a good day i can get about 5-10 panels inked so i have hope#except page 9#fuck page 9 it's literally ALL scenery#war drums comics#war drums#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#drawing#furry#furry art#comic#comic wip#wip#art wip#work in progress
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Every day my job situation gets more goddamn stupid
#pet store is a maybe#pay is only 10 an hour and part time so id still have to do two jobs 😮💨#which is FINE and in theory itd be pet store + studio#except studio hours are SO rough and the escape room announced literally immediately after i left the interview#that theyre pulling together some of the staff to create a team to meet regularly and actually work on writing/building the next room#together#and im on it dhsDHDJ#so.. potentially better hours? a good opportunity to flex creative skills for sure#but also its hard trust them#i just. ugh#and when i say studio hours are rough i mean like. every week our rates get worse and corporate already cut one of our days and shut down#two studios regionally#library its been three weeks.... library call me back please...........
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I am fucking screeching.
Just give me Barbatos’ card already!!
Aaaaahhh! 🥲
#I got literally everything except Barbatos#I got Luci’s ssr 10 times#and Levi’s twice#and a bunch of ssr cards from the regular nightmares#what are those odds#obey me#obey me pulls#bad luck#obey me nightbringer
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happy pride month 🌈
#my first 10 pull back and I get the gay bfs LOL#I know nothing about Kaveh except that he keeps showing up in my YouTube ads#and that he’s Al haitham’s gay roommate#tati.txt
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why so tired?????? not fair!
Food? eaten, incl. fruit and protein
Sleep? done. lots of. didn't get up properly until 10 this morning.
Water? drank lots.
Caffeine? cup of coffee didn't make a dent. giving up caffeine didn't make a dent either.
The cleveland clinic recommends that I do mindfulness which if you'll excuse me is a crock of shit. being constantly aware of everything around you always sounds exhausting, and I'm already exhausted so I can skip that.
#life spam#fatigue#shitty internet medical advice#i have to fix the sideview mirror and I cannot get off the couch#all the other people on the internet who have chronic fatigue and ADHD and horrific chronic pain and migraines every 4 days#regularly post things about how they remodeled their kitchen today or got some chores done or pulled an extra shift or worked on a hobby#and I'm in reasonably good health so why can't I do with hardly any pain/fatigue#what other people can do with 7/10 pain/fatigue and/or the neurological inability to regulate their attention?#i firmly believe laziness doesn't exist except for me specifically
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lmao I got jumpscared by the Silver Showcase thinking they were unexpectedly charging straight on ahead with more of book 7 (I was - and still am - expecting every second month at the quickest otherwise we catch up too soon) but anyway that means the Lilia dorm ssr release is getting dangerously close and like you can't drop that on me right on top of his birthday okay? The Idia-Lilia birthday pipeline is brief and expensive XD XD
#twisted wonderland#video games#I don't pull for dorm uniforms but listen Lilia is an exception#all other dorm uniforms I just let fate's whimsy gift to me when i'm pulling on event banners lmao#i literally did one 10-pull on a master chef banner and got my Jamil so the game knows me
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