#exadventist

[exploresmallworlds]

Nano Day 24

Although I have often despaired over my time management and "follow through" I'm here, with the end in sight and I'm thinking that II might actually finish my work in progress. Okay, that's a filthy lie. And I realised that I am doing the second deconstruction of my upbringing. Having done the first version of this over seven years ago.

That's what writing Seventh Day Adventists as a space colonists will do for you.

I was affirmed in my process, when I saw the quote by Behrouz Boochani and basically in it he said he had different experiences he would have written a different book. And while there is a maxim about writing what you know and its trite now. But honestly I couldn't have written as much or with as much authenticity when I am describing things and people and ideas.

It also means that my experiences are valid and useful. This deconstruction is not figure out what I don't belief any more, this one is less about the beliefs and now, what the beliefs do. In the process of writing this book, I have made some significant revelations about my life that while they were hinted at, were exposed for more truth. They weren't any less truthful before but with time and experience and developing education in a number of realms I am able to make more interesting points.

It took me seven years gone to write this piece, but it took me all of my life to make these points and destroy them. Because although I know that there are good people of faith, all of them are involved more or less in upholding the other more unscrupulous parts of their faith and institutions. While a lot of institutions are failing for particular reason, it is this particular institution that has it's foibles exposed in a way that provides solace for other people who have left, those who are sitting inside services who are questioning.

I'm telling the story that I was looking for when I left. Because, although leaving religion and Christanity has plenty of stories there are less about leaving Adventism. I want a story that reminds them that they are not alone, especially when the questioning feels wrong and bad.

It's also the first time that I've publicly made it clear where I stand and that is refreshing too. And I have had discussions about how my behaviour is appropriate and also some people reach out to me to come back. Their behaviour earned them a place in some of characterisation of one of the characters in my wip.

[spurgie-cousin]

I never thought I’d see the cult I grew up in on your page, but I’m so glad there are other people recognizing how awful the SDA (seventh day Adventist) church is. I was raised by a pastor and my whole family are still members. They refuse to believe that I no longer share their beliefs and constantly try to convince me to “give the church another chance.” they do not consider me a Christian because I’m no longer in their church. Growing up I didn’t know anyone who had ever managed to leave and to this day only one friend has left. There isn’t a strong ex-sda community that I know of and most resources are hard to find because they are buried by the church. The church as a whole is very doomsday esque and even as a kid growing up in the church I had so so much anxiety about it. There are a ton of rules which also contributes to the anxiety and the church culture is super judgmental and gossipy. I never understood why we had such different beliefs + practices from all the other churches and now I find it outrageous that I believed those things. I’m interested to see what else you come across and I am now going to see what ex-sda creators I can find (I don’t use TikTok) to relate to lol.

What's funny is I grew up in a town that had a ridiculous number of churches for its size, one of those being a fair-sized SDA church, but I don't remember ever meeting anyone from it. My church was the largest so it would organize multi-church events sometimes and there were only a few groups who never participated, SDA included (though to be fair I don't know if they just didn't want to, or if my church was discriminating lol).

So it feels crazy that I'm just now learning how cult-y they are. I think the church in my hometown was kind of an anomaly because their numbers are pretty small comparatively, something like 1.1 million in the US compared to ~90 million evangelicals, which is probably why they don't have a huge presence in the ex-Christian community.

The creator I posted is also the daughter of an Adventist pastor, it looks like she's only on tiktok right now (@songbirdsstory) but here are a few other places I've been reading ex-Adventist stories on platforms besides tiktok (also I will check out to Former Adventist podcast as well!):

Haystacks & Hell is a podcast and instagram account that collects ex-Adventist stories (that link takes you to their Instagram, their podcast info is in the link in their bio)

r/exAdventist which is a subreddit for ex-members of the church (if you're unfamiliar with reddit it's basically like a place for very specific online forums lol. people have conversations, tell stories, etc)

r/exChristian is another subreddit for ex-Christians as a while, but it has quite a few threads from ex-SDA that I've been reading. That link should take you to the list without having to search around.

and I do have a question but it's sensitive, so I understand if you're not comfortable answering: what was the generally accepted punishment for breaking the rules, like the health message etc? I know SongBirdSings from that video has said she suffered a lot of physical abuse, but she's also insinuated in other videos that that wasn't how it was for everyone. So I was just curious about what most people tolerated as acceptable reprimanding in the church.

[automatismoateo]

Forced participation in religious activities to be classified as child abuse in Japan. via /r/atheism

Forced participation in religious activities to be classified as child abuse in Japan. /r/exAdventist/comments/10v9tpv/forced_participation_in_religious_activities_to/ Submitted February 07, 2023 at 07:30AM by RecoveringAdventist (From Reddit https://ift.tt/ltf7WcG)

[edendiaries]

That one pastor, church elder, or church member that hurt you does not represent Christ and what He can do for you.

“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

“Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save” Psalm 146:3

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe” Proverbs 29:25

No one could ever represent His love and mercy, no matter how talented or reputable they are. We are all sinners, which is why we need to pray for those who hurt us rather than being disappointed.

“…Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick…” Mark 2:17

“Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” Luke 6:28

I’ve never met a mean/negative person that hasn’t been hurt themselves. Either that or they were unaware of the effect their actions had on others, much like the Pharisees. Anyone who sins and is disconnected from Christ suffers. It is our duty to be loving and forgiving towards our brothers and sisters and pray for these people as prayer moves the arms of the Omnipotent.

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. ” Luke 6:31-38

[exploresmallworlds]

Nano Day 27

I'm not consistent with updates, but I'm 80% done and this is approximately where I stopped the last time I attempted Nano. Although I will say that I have a stronger story and I have spent time at the end of the process, plotting out the things. And it seems a bit backwards to plot when a significant chunk of the draft has been written. But bear with me.

I think that I when I started I had a vague thought about how things were going to go, and instead of getting bogged down in the details I started writing. And it wasn't very good, still isn't very good but I actually know who the characters are now. And I've changed things, of course things are going to change, that is the reality writing and first drafts. But if the strongest stories are the ones that are character driven, I think finding the character and then the story is the way that makes sense to me.

I've also stopped thinking about the story in the linear way that it will probably function in. And today was writing the moment before the finale. And it was wildly cathartic.

The whole writing experience this month (now almost done) is that late at night is my best time for writing. It feels like that when the sun is down, I am done with doing things and now I can think clearly.

I'm just about to head off to bed, and the cat of the house has kept me imprisoned a little longer than anticipated by being the cutest lap cat.

[exploresmallworlds]

The Nuance of Social Cohesion

I’ve always wanted to explore Sydney as part of a blog called Explore small worlds but as I was writing my last piece in which I discussed social cohesion and it did give me serious (traumatic) flashbacks to belonging for HSC.

The previous piece talks about the reality of macro social cohesion, something that is evident in the micro scale. After a spike of social cohesion over the period of the pandemic, rates of social cohesion has dropped below 2019 levels. I think that it doesn’t consider the micro experiences that make up the wider macro trend. Although that piece identified that economics.

Sydney has always existed on some version of segregation, being a colonial outpost first and then nexus of that colonial empire and finally resting in it’s current state as the global city rife with the stashing of expensive properties of foreign nationals. A friend quipped that Sydney isn’t a fruit salad but rather it is is fruit bowl. And that rang true. Telling somebody where you live is built in with assumptions about your place. And often describing unfamiliar places is accompanied with quips like “that’s where x lives”. And the discussion that Melina Marchetta makes in Looking for Alibrandi where people live in Sydney and they never interact.

I’ve come from a small world and its one that I didn’t fit in. My beliefs eventually made me more different although it was ongoing trend. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the treatment of women in that place. And although I know many strong women, they were not acknowledged in leadership and that showed me their patriarchal underpinnings. Although some were able to square the circle of this I was not able to. This world was stifling small, although I acknowledge very comfortable for others.

When I left I was so keen to find new bigger worlds, and in the seven years that I have left this world I have been reminded that although this is small and I didn’t fit in, there are many small worlds that exist in similar ways. I’ve come to understand that the world is small and Sydney is even smaller as I find mutuals in the most disparate of places. I’ve been given a unique perspective as someone who has explored more a than few small worlds, and I have concluded that the problems that have been identified as problems of small religious communities are found in many different small communities. And similar processes about effectively shielding those with serious concerns.

There is a underlying fetishism that with the ongoing crisis, small communities are the way that we support our out of these. It’s one that I still believe with caveats. Although I know that in times of crisis there is increased social cohesion as reflected in the increase over lock downs, when the immediate crisis goes away like it has now, then we are left without similar levels. The problem is that the affects of climate change are evident but they aren’t being felt in the small communities that most Sydney-siders reside in. Although with the outer rim of Sydney being more prone to bush fires there is less necessity overall.

The segregation in Sydney is now pushing its residents to be pushed out, and this dispersal of real options for younger people is fueling their lack of social cohesion. The reality of needing any kind of intergenerational wealth is becoming more and more relevant. And those who set policy controls are those who have benefited from stability and security in housing and work in a way that we can only aspire to.

I think that sitting on the marginal space, although now I am an adult I now have a solid network and community. For people like me who have this marginal experience I think that there is implicit exclusion that doesn’t allow grace or any kind of space for difference. Although some of those who reside in those small worlds, are not terrible people but the cultures that are preserved in those small worlds are ones that need to retreat harder in the face of insecurity and instability. Although an understandable position, its one that doesn’t seek difference and diversity of though to expand the resonance chamber. Often the only time that people interact with people with people who are different would be in a fleeting way and when it goes negative, it is final. Although, my generation has been traditionally understood to popularise the concept of “if it doesn’t serve you, leave it”. And that kind of attitude doesn’t sit in the discomfort, despite the understandable concerns that it responds to. There is a space in the middle that establishes good boundaries and expects them to be firm but also is concerned with developing stronger cohesion by allowing a greater communal experience.

[exploresmallworlds]

A Sabbath for us all: the electric boogaloo

I’ve explored the concept of the sabbath in a way that discusses my history drawn straight from the heart of Judaism by way of Protestant Millerites of the 19th Century.   But drawing on his original heritage - I myself am not Jewish nor a scholar of Judaism. But I can verify that often sabbaths were not just for a day but often for weeks or years. The concept of enforced rest is something that a number of cultural traditions and faiths are familiar with. In Judaism particularly, there was famously the debt sabbath where debts were written off every seven years. Something that seems inconceivable in our modern time where debts often last longer and have more impact.

Of the few debts I have incurred, with the awareness of luxury and frugality, is my HECs debt. My HECs debt with a large number of Australians has been indexed to 7% to match inflation but my wages or my opportunities have not had the same increase. I am angry of course, but resigned because there are more important things to discuss. But a debt sabbath would be nice. If money is made up and only the expression of debt then maybe, maybe I can have a debt sabbath too. I’m not earning enough to gain the benefits of paying it back, although I have previously. I will have to shoulder the burden of something I couldn’t even make decisions over. I wouldn’t call that democracy. 

The proud labour tradition forged in this country and even in this city, has a very special relationship with rest. It's in the eight hour slogan - eight hours to work, to sleep and to rest. If you go to the Trades Hall in Sussex Street - now infested with Labor hacks but once the radical centre of movement that acknowledged work but also the ability for working people to better themselves and rest; with large libraries stocked with updated knowledge and spaces to collaborate. Such is needed again to have a place that is bustling and loud and places for learning so that our rest is life affirming. How far the mighty have fallen when Labor hacks and their MPs refuse to advocate for the same. The same politicians who approved the HECs debt indexation.

The union movement amongst others is the leader in advocating not just the conditions of work but also the conditions of our rest. Our social condition is determined by the momentum of collective action. It is not hard to pitch to most people that we need more rest. We already have a culture of long weekends and long lunches for rich people. But maybe the economy doesn’t need continuous growth, maybe a recession is what we need (even considering the negative harms of a slowdown). If we go where I think we are heading, it will be the second once in a lifetime recession in the last twenty years. Not a stellar record for the status quo. 

The rest is often made in reference to productivity and employment but never in reference to people who actually need it. I think that when we demand rest, it is not because it will improve efficiency or help our economy but because it is fundamental to the wellbeing of communities and their need for regeneration. It is common to hear that laziness and rest are made at the expense of other peoples labour and inconvenience but that also obscures the reality it is needed for our continued existence on this planet. In fact, a slowdown needs to be distributed equitably for best results. 

Douglass remarks that “power never concedes without demand. It never has and it never will.” Some sabbaths are not about stopping, but instead changing up and creating spaces for new ideas. And that is what we need to face in the next crisis prone era. A sabbath for us all is the one that we work for and demand. 

[exploresmallworlds]

A Sabbath for us all

As a child I was frustrated that on Saturdays we didn’t do anything because we were Seventh Day Adventists and we had the concept of a Sabbath. This was frustrating because I couldn’t do the things that I wanted to do. Most Saturday afternoons were spent by my parents napping because it was the end of a week and they needed rest. However, we were kids and we didn’t understand that this was actually a good idea. 

I’m a little older now and I’m fully a proponent of naps and no time to take them. The idea of the Sabbath is the most visceral thing that I miss. The rest of my background and former faith identity comes and goes in its intensity. But the idea that now that I’ve left that version of faith behind means that I have also left behind the intentional rest period is something that I want to institute back into my life and I often cannot. Hospitality, where I work is unforgiving, between that and a full time university degree I have gone weeks without significant periods of rest because the next thing just comes along and needs to be solved. It never really ends. 

I was completing assignments hours before I was supposed to go on placement. And I had just finished paid work. It's no wonder that I miss it. It's something that most working adults do get some version of but in this whirlwind of unpaid placements and full time university work and the fact that I have to pay endless continuous bills I don’t get the luxury of. And if we are honest with ourselves, the stresses of modern life are stripping those periods of rest away from those other working adults - it has increasingly become a luxury. 

I took a holiday because I knew that the bullshit couldn’t last forever, and it was a sabbath from a state and its associated worries but it was also a sabbath away from the people I loved and kept me there. So I'm back now. And the bullshit is still here. The reminders of failure because I didn’t have the time to rest are catching up on me now. That is why I write. The sabbath came at a relief and rest but it also generated its own concerns. 

Work for the sake of work, without sabbaths from mind and body is not the way that things have to continue. In ecology - plants and other non-human beings are afforded periods of rest and recuperation in a way that I don't think that our society appreciates or at least in their most natural forms. I’ve worked in industries that are relied upon for other people’s sabbaths and never their own. I am angry and disappointed that this continuous workload is the expectation and the norm. Rather than just an abnormality in times of crisis and maybe this shouldn’t continue. We are in a crisis - or the intersection of a few. The idea that this is inevitable is something that I am groaning against. 

The economics of infinite growth that destroys the earth and its inhabitants needs to be stopped. And we all deserve a sabbath. A sabbath for us all.