#ex nun with a creepy smile
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wildlife4life ¡ 8 months ago
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Sorry in advanced for the caps but WE WERE FINE WITHOUT THE STILLS so like we know Shannon is in this episode yep and like so Eddie has unfinished business with her so like he gonna like have a panic attack again I guess about M and him and I’m like tbh I just want him to break up with M 😭😭😭 and she is also gonna be in the medals episode so I’m like 💀 WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS WE WERE BETTER WITHOUT THE STILLS unless is a dream nightmare and make him think you know what im not ready to date or I don’t want to date and he doesn’t get the why yet and thinks is because he haven’t move on from Shannon
Please let it be a dream nightmare lol
But yea... we bit the hand that fed us and those still are our punishment. Lets just hope its a short scene and somehow ties into Eddie's whole arc of trying to live up to certain standards pushed onto him.
Let M go Eddie. (Her smile alone gives me nightmares). Let Shannon go too, but in a more positive way after she smacks the hetero norms out.
(I'm scared too anon.)
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octaviasdread ¡ 4 years ago
Note
any girls! dark academia movie recs? i really struggle to find anything not about a group of boys (as much as I love them)
SO MANY!!! This is probably a far more detailed answer than you were expecting but this is a popular question and I want to keep a list for myself and others.
Feel free to add to it/give opinions. I've tried to give a tw for anything I can remember
Girls! Dark Academia Movies/TV Shows
Mona Lisa Smile (2003)
1950s Women’s college
Art professor! Julia Roberts
She’s legit the female Mr Keating of the art & college world
Feminism vs. Tradition
Maggie Gyllenhall x Ginnifer Goodwin; their characters were more than friends. Fight me.
Does not end how you expect
Strike!/All I Wanna Do/The Hairy Bird (1998)
MY FAVOURITE!!!
Free on YouTube under one of its various names
Comedy
1960s all girls boarding school
Young Kirsten Dunst
Group of girls plot to sabotage a merger with a boys school less prestigious than their own
Secret attic clubhouse meetings of the D.A.R aka Daughters of the American Ravioli (eaten cold, ew)
girls get political & advocate for their rights using ANY elaborate and chaotic scheme
TW: eating disorder, vomiting & creepy male teacher but the girls plot against him too
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)
based on a short book I read for uni by Muriel Spark
1930s girls school in Edinburgh
Scottish teacher! Maggie Smith, controversial with a focus on romantic ideals
Spoiler alert, the liberal teacher is actually a fascist
Her group of fave students has cult- vibes and it’s fascinating
Picnic at Hanging Rock
1970s movie or 2018 mini series
Never watched either but I plan to
Wild Child (2008)
00s romcom every UK teen girl loves
Emma Roberts as the spoiled rich American teenager sent to a strict English boarding school
Plots to get herself expelled but oh no she’s making friends with the girls who help her
And the headmistress has a hot son, and he’s nice??? Double oh no
ICONIC SCENES
Everything! Goes! Wrong!
omg she burns the school down
Feel good, comfort, nostalgia
St Trinians (2007)
English girls boarding school
The kids are all criminals, no joke
So are the teachers
CHAOTIC
gay awakening for british girls
Art heist pulled off by school girls
Government tries to shut them down but oh no, the education minister & the headmistress are ex-lovers
Colin Firth x Rupert Everett in drag
Superior cast: Jodie Whittaker, Gemma Arterton, Juno Temple, Stephen Fry, Colin Firth, etc...
embodies the phrase 'problematic fave'
St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (2009)
Mystery, pirate ancestors, hidden treasure
omg Shakespeare was a woman
girls disguised as boys to infiltrate and rob the posh boys school
Villain! David Tennant in that ICONIC boat scene
Teen girls vs. ancient misogynist brotherhood
like the first film but MORE chaotic and BETTER!???
The Falling (2014)
1960s all girls school
best friends! but its unrequited love
Agoraphobic + distant mother aka mommy issues
Sudden death and the school suppresses/ignores the students grief, sparking mass hysteria & a fainting epidemic in the girls
Cast: Maisie Williams (GoT) & Florence Pugh (Little Women) & Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders)
TW: teen pregnancy, death, vomiting, underage s*x, sibling inc*st, past s*xual assault
READ THE PLOT SUMMARY FIRST
The Book Thief (2013)
Based on an amazing book by Markus Zusak
set in 1940s Nazi Germany
Daughter of a communist whose family were taken by the Nazis/died is fostered by an older couple who teach her to read & she paints a dictionary on the basement walls
Coming of age story about a compulsive book thief. No joke, this kid steals books from banned book burnings and breaks into the mayor's library through the window
Family hides the Jewish son of an old friend in their basement and he helps her to start writing about her experiences in the war
TW: death, bombings, WW2 anti-semitism
Mary Shelley (2017)
Overall good & roughly biographical
Pretty costumes and aesthetic
Modern feminist take on Mary Shelly in her own time period
So many INACCURACIES for the drama so don’t take it as truth
Percy Shelley slander and not all of it is justified
Cast: Elle Fanning, Douglas Booth, and Maisie Williams
The Secret Garden (1993)
Based on a fave childhood book
1901 colonial India & Yorkshire, England
Orphaned, spoilt & neglected girl sent to live with her reclusive Uncle in the English countryside
Gothic elements, mysteries, secret doors/passages/locked gardens
local boy with a flock of animals, magic, kids chanting around a fire and all around immaculate vibes
Happy ending!!!
Hidden Figures (2016)
African-American women as mathematicians for NASA
1960s space project
Women balancing a career and family obligations
Deals with racial & gender discrimination
Loosely based on the lives of Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan who worked for NASA as engineers & mathematicians
Anne of Green Gables (1985) & sequel (1987)
Adaptation L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books
Canada (late 1890s/early 1900s)
Highly imaginative & bookworm orphan is adopted by a reclusive elderly brother and sister duo
Small town & school years comedic drama
Unrequited Enemies -> Friends -> lovers
Inspiring new woman teacher
Girls re-enact Tennyson’s poem and nearly drown for the aesthetic™
Dramatic poetry reading with INTENSE 👀eye contact👀
Writer! Anne & English teacher! Anne dealing with unruly girls school antics
Collette (2018)
biographical drama on french writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette
Victorian & Edwardian era France
More talented than her husband so she ghostwrites for him
Fight for creative ownership of her wildly successful novels
Affairs with a woman called Georgie and also with Missy, born female but masculine presenting
Cast: Keira Knightly, Dominic West, Eleanor Tomlinson (Poldark)
Enola Holmes (2020)
Netflix book adaptation
Younger sister of Sherlock Holmes
Victorian era! feminism/suffragettes
Mother-daughter focus
Mystery, adventure, secret codes, teens running away & escaping from (and eventually fighting) assassins
Cast: Helena Bonham Carter, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Fiona Shaw, Millie Bobby Brown
Ginger & Rosa (2012)
1960s England
best friends since literal birth navigating troubled teen years
poet & anti-nuclear activist! Ginger
off the rails but also catholic! Rosa
Shout out to Mark & Mark the gay godfathers we all want
family troubles 
TW: older man has an affair with a 17 yr old
Testament of Youth (2014)
based on WW1 memoir by Vera Brittain
young woman (writer & poetry lover) escapes traditional family & goes to study at Oxford University
abandons to become a war nurse
romance, tragedy and war trauma
Cast: Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington (GoT), Taron Edgerton (Rocketman), Colin Morgan (Merlin)
Little Women (2019)
Writer! Jo & Artist! Amy
Mother/daughter focus and sister dynamics
the March sisters’ theatre club is *chefs kiss*
champagne problems edits of Jo x Laurie are a mood
Ambivalent ending perfectly captures Louisa May Alcott’s dilemma with the book the movie is based on
set in 1860s America
ALL STAR CAST and a Greta Gerwig masterpeice
Lady Bird (2017)
coming of age in early 2002/2003 Sacramento, California
all girls catholic school
writer! Christine aka Lady Bird wants to get outta town and start her life again at college 'in a city with culture'
Mother/daughter dynamics - so realistic!
I live for that Jesus car stunt & the nun's reaction
school theatre program
Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein
Another Greta Gerwig gem
Beguiled (2017)
Virginia, civil war era
Girls school with only five students and two teachers left
Find an injured Union army soldier & bring him inside
Women & teenagers want his attention (v. problematic) before uniting against him
(tbh you'll either love it, hate it, or watch once & forget it)
Sofia Coppola film so its very feminine gaze
TW: violence, death, underage
Legally Blonde (2001)
No questions will be taken
Elle Woods was the blue print
TV series:
House of Anubis (2011-2013)
I know it’s a kids/young teen show but I still unironically love it
ANCIENT EGYPT!!!!
Modern day with Victorian era links to treasure hunters & Egyptian research expeditions (stealing from tombs)
Chosen one plot lines, curses, kidnapping, mysteries, secret tunnels under the school, elixir of life
Teens have investigate & protect themselves cus oh no the TEACHERS are involved in some shady stuff
new American kid at British boarding school is the actual premise not just a fanfic au
Nostalgic, light-hearted, funny, and kinda cheesy but I will accept no criticism
The Alienist (2018 -now)
Mid 1890s, New York
Woman’s private detective agency (Season 2)
Serial killer mystery
Woman secretary turns detective and teams up with a criminal psychiatrist and a newspaper editor to solve crime
TW: violence, child pr*stit*tion
Cast: Dakota Fanning, Luke Evans, Daniel Bruhl
The Queen’s Gambit (2020)
Woman chess prodigy
1950s & 1960s
TW: drug & alcohol abuse
Gentleman Jack (2019 - now)
Based on the diaries of Anne Lister
Victorian Yorkshire, England
Upper-class lesbians
Confident, suit wearing! Anne Lister x shy! Ann Walker
Business woman! Anne running the family mines
Cast: Suranne Jones (Doctor Foster) & Sophie Rundle (Peaky Blinders)
TW: violence
Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)
bubbly/ambitious single mom + intelligent daughter
bookworm! Rory Gilmore gets into a prestigious private school and then an Ivy League college
Small town drama is comedic gold
Fast dialogue packed with pop culture and literary references
Comforting & nostalgic
TEAM JESS
Anne with an E (2017-2019)
Loose adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books
they completely change the plot lines but it’s still very good content!
Orphan girl with trauma and a love of books/poetry is adopted by an elderly brother & sister duo, bringing light and fresh ideas to a rural community
Feminism, girls writing club, lgbtq safe spaces, girls eduction, black/indigenous representation
Miss Stacy as THAT inspiring teacher
Aunt Josephine’s lavish gay parties have my heart
TW: creepy male teacher tries to marry a student, racial discrimination, indigenous assimilation school
Victoria (2016-2019)
Adaption of Queen Victoria’s life
Victoria navigating her political, royal, and personal life
Albert’s involvement with The Great Exhibition, 1851 (on cultural + industrial innovations)
Alfred Paget x Edward Drummond is exquisite
Gorgeous costumes and aesthetics
TW: bury your gays trope
Derry Girls (2018-now)
1990s Northern Ireland during the troubles
Comedy, episodes 20-25 mins long
English boy sent to an all girls Catholic school with his cousin
✨Dead Poets Society parody episode ✨with a free-spirited female teacher
Sister Michael, the sarcastic nun who hates her job & reads the exorcist for giggles
Wee anxious lesbian! Clare Devlin (plus her friends wearing rainbow pins)
Badass with bad ideas! Michelle Mallon
Main Character! Erin Quinn
Lovable weirdo who would fight a polar bear! Orla McCool
Wee English fella & honorary Derry girl! James Maguire
Dickinson (2019-now)
Loose adaption of the poet Emily Dickinson’s life
Set in 19th century Massachusetts, US
Historical drama with modern dialogue & music that works SEAMLESSLY
gives a great understanding of Emily Dickinson’s poems
💕Vintage gays! Emily x Sue💕
Theatre club, writing, poetry, dressing as men to sneak into lectures, love letters, teen drama, feminism, and an underground abolitionist journal as a brief side plot in season 2
Wiz Khalifa plays death in a horse drawn carriage
TW: opium use
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)
Based on great childhood books
Bookworm! brother, Inventor! sister, and baby sister with sharp teeth
Mystery, secret organisations, orphaned siblings figuring things out & fending for themselves against the villain after their fortune
Adults either cartoon evil, comedically incompetent, or SPIES
Boarding school, library owner, scientific researcher, and theatre episodes
Ambiguous time period which is really fun to try and pin point
Killing Eve (2018-now)
Classic detective who has homoerotic tension with the assassin she is tracking down
British Detective! Eve Polastri figures out the notorious assassin MI5 are investigating is a woman, is fired & then put on a secret MI6 case with a small team
Assassin! Villanelle, a psychopath with a tragic past and a mastery of both accents & fashion
Woman MI6 boss! Carolyn Martens, head of Russian section
Travel Europe following Villanelle’s killings and escaping the assassins sent by Villanelle’s organisation
‘You’re supposed to be my enemy and moral opposite but omg you’re the only one smart enough to get me and why am I obsessed with you????'
🚨 GO IN FOR A KISS AND THEN STAB YOUR ENEMY 🚨
Cable Girls/Las chicas del cable (2017-2020)
Spanish drama set in 1920s Madrid
Four young women at a telecommunications company form a group of friends and help navigate the difficult situations they are all in
Secret identities, dangerous pasts, murder, crime, lgbtq couple & throuple, trans man character, feminism/suffragists
girls commit crimes for humanitarian reasons and cover! it! up!
UNDERRATED SHOW!!!!
Gorgeous costumes and set
Haven’t finished it yet and I’m catching up
TW: abuse, violence, death
Outlander (2014 - now)
haven’t watched yet but plan to
Woman time travels to Scotland, 1743
Rebel highlanders, pirates, British colonies, American revolutionary war
Time jumps between 18th & 20th century
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ain-t-bovvered ¡ 6 years ago
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14x11 Commentary (special)
Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)
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Hello and welcome:
@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)
@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)
@waywardbaby  (Zee)
@ain-t-bovvered  (Giu)
1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10
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14x11 Damaged Gods
Giu: Ugh fuck off nick
Zee: I’m the cage
Nat: bleugh
Giu : Pardon me but M losing it, is kinky
Giu: I wanna know whats in that fucking book tho
Kat: So kinky
-Nick being an idiot sandwich
Zee: So sick of Nick
Nat : so Nick is hunting now
-Demon scum: Never been caught by a human.
-I wouldn’t call Nick a human at this point honestly.
Giu: Also how did he got hold of an angel blade, Like seriously ..... Tfw 2.0 sucks at keeping “prisoners”
Nick : Abraxas.
Oooooh my god that again. I get that he has nothing left to do, but still.
Zee: She ded
- Nick:” I don’t know, where’s the fun in that?” (about letting the demon go)
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 *MMBLEGH ! STABS EYE*
[looks in the camera like in the office]
Nat: omg
- Welp that was violent.
- “Maria Prophetissima, Historia Achengeli.” Trying really hard to think that’s not supposed to be italian......because I’d have some complaints.
Giu : RED SHIRT
Zee: Giuls do I need to say it?
Nat: THE RED SHIRT OF SEX
Kat: Barely alive
- LEATHER GLOOOOOVES. YAAAAAS. also....Dean....what the fuck are you thinking uh? Ooooooh right the welding episode
Nat: Oh.. here comes the heart break
Giu: All the fucking hurt.
-Sam: “How are you feeling”
-Dean, completely dribbling around that question like a champ “Whatcha reading?”
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- Sam : “We’ll find a way “  ( #369)
- Dean: “Actually I wanna go for a drive”
uh uh Don’t like the sound of that.
Zee: Always in need of his mom
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- Dean : “One-on-one time with mom”
Giu : DO NOT LIKE
Kat: Sam fucking face
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-Sam is us.
-Sam: “Whatever you need”
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- Fuck you Dean. Don’t look like you are almost crying...fuck you
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Nat: OMG THE HUG
-dEAN FUCKING FACE, DEAN FUCKING HESITANT HAND WHAT THE FUCK
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Zee: Take care Sammy?
Giu : AAAAAAH THE FUCK. NO
-Sam startled face tho.
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- HE KNOWS SOMETHING IS UP
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Giu: THE FUCK CABIN
Zee: Still don’t like Mary, I always think she doesn’t give a fuck
- Mary: “I’ll take any excuse for a visit”
THEN WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING VISIT . YOU KNOW WHAT’S UP . THE FUCK.
Kat: She’s the worst
Nat : Sammy calls up his mom to tell her about THE HUG
Giu : ��That’s sweet” WOW. BITCH HE HAS THE ARCHANGEL MICHAEL STOMPING ABOUT IN HIS MIND. 
- Sam: “ We don’t hug” .... well...only if it’s literally the end of the world.  SO HEALTHY.
Mary : “We have to respect that” 
 fuck oOOOOOFF you are his mom you don’t have to respect shit when your son has an archangel in his mind.
-Sam paranoia rising up because some books are missing.
-Ok but I love this shot, it’s so pretty.
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[Food Splatter] Dean: “OH MY GOd”
-Oh my god indeed
Zee & Nat : DONNAAAAAA
- She’s so pretty!!! I love her so much.
[Dean licking his finger] ..... DOOOON’T STAPH IT
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Nat : Dean has a big mouth
Giu: KINK!
Zee : Nat really…
Nat : have you seen the bite he took?!
Giu: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- The place is called “The hungry beaver” 
yeah ok come on.
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- AAAAh so great to hear from the girls tho.
Also Dean’s avoiding all the questions he knows that are coming like a pro Winchester.
- Donna: “Last month, we took down a Vetala nest”
Dean’s impressed face.
- Dean:” Get out of town......Good for her”
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- Awww the question about Dough tho. He’s avoiding questions ok but he’s so cute asking about that
Zee & Nat : Freaking news letter
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Giu : I swear they have a what’s up chat like us.
Kat : No doubt
- Lol also I think Jensen has a runny nose while shooting these scene, lol the tissue.
- Dean: “ - without seeing my D-Train”
Nat: SO DEAN'S A HUGGER NOW
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Kat: farewell tour
Giu : OH SHUT UP WHAT IS THIS NOW?!? THE MEMORY LANE BEFORE TUNING OUT? DEAN!
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- HIS FUCKING FACE SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAN’T
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-God do I ship them tho. I need some DonnaxDean asap ok ( tag me people)
Nat : I hate this so much. Can I burn this episode already?
Giu: Yes *hands the matches*
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- way to ruin perfectly good pumpkins Mary . I guess you wouldn’t know what to do with them anyway....like....idk....pumpkin pie or some shit for your son....who loves pies....remember.....whatever I don’t even know why I’m trying anymore.
Nat : "We could call Sam over" and have a freaking party
- Dean: “I don’t wanna Sam here”
- RUDE
Giu: “EVerYtHinG aLrIghT?”
- Dean: “ I’m HANGRY “ lol 
Giu: Not much of a cook
Zee: You’re not much of an anything
Giu: WELL NOT SHIT
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- WINCHESTER SURPRISE . THE FUCK IS THAAAAAT
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- Mary :”I can’t believe you remember that”
- I can’t believe you remember you have kids.
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Nat: YOU CAN'T REMEMBER A LOT OF THINGS BITCH. DEAN REMEMBERS EVERYTHING, ALRIGHT.
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Kat: He really does
Nat: Can I cry now
Giu: MY HEART IS POUNDING
Zee: ...in my ears
- Dean: “Delicious heart-attack on a plate. I would like mine with extra cheese”
- Extra cheese horny face
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- ...AND PIE!
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-The P O S T E R S
Giu: OMFG..... I’m already dreading the meta on that poster
 ( in a positive way  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  )
- [ M still trashing around ]
Kat: This song. Damn it
- *The Guess Who’s “No Time” playing*
Giu: OH COME ON, A LEATHER APRON, AND LEATHER GLOVES.
Zee: Fuck me sideways
Kat : All the damn ways
Nat: I AM AROUSED . IN THE MORNING. WHY AM I AROUSED (08:46 a.m )
- “I found myself some wings”  
Are *claps* you *claps* fucking *claps* kiddin’ *claps* me?
-when he tilt his head to make the mask falls down.
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- the jacket popped collar....YAAAS
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Giu: Fucking hell.
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- I can’t deal with that poster and the sparks....I CAN’T
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I CAAAAAAN’T
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Nat: EVEN HIS LEGS ARE SEXY…..OK BUT FUCK ME
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Giu: NO FUCK ME
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Kat: HE’S THE ENERGIZER BUNNY HE CAN FUCK US ALL
Kat: SO MUCH WELDER!DEAN
Zee: Somebody write that shit
- And tag us thank
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Giu: “ that’s new...YOU BUYING FOOD” wow…...WOOOOW. How the fuck does she live.
- whiskey, pumpkins and crosswords puzzles. WOW Mary living the life.
*Nick appears*
Giu & Nat : NO
Zee: Oh hello
Giu &Nat : FUCK OFF
- Nick: “Thanks for nothing , pal”
well Nick...ya creepy van doesn’t really scream FRIENDLY NEIGHBOR FORMER SATAN
Nat: Oh, Donna's going to show up
Zee: My girl stepping in
Kat: THIS BITCH BETTER NOT TOUCH MY GIRL…..Why am I yelling, I already know what happens
Giu: *john’s Mulaney Trump voice* OH IF HE SO MUCH TOUCH ONE FUCKING HAIR ON HER. I want him to do it , I want- I dare him to do it, I fucking swear , I’m fucking crazy.
- Nick picking up the clip.... * STREET SMARTS*
- Don’t- don’t try to outsmart my girl , it’s pathetic
- Donna:”What’s your name”
  Nick: “Nunya” 
oh....OH WOW do ya want to make the nun ya business joke to Donna...? WOW
 Nick: “ First name: eat. Last name: Me”
Oh wow that’s- that’s just sad.
Zee: Can I say that I love her pushing him like that?
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Giu: OOFTA
Nat: of course this happens
Giu: YASP ( YAS + GASP )
Kat&Zee&Nat : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nat: Just how long had Mary been away that it's already so late
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Giu: She needed to remember how food work
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- Mary smile is the only thing we have in common right now
Nat: That SMILE
Giu: Dean is the better mom. LOOK AT HIM. DOMESTIC NESTING DEAN KINK!
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Zee: Oven mittens. Ya think?
Nat: "Something is going on" YA THINK?
- Sam is already on his way , no surprises there.
- Dean: “ he’s soaking wet, he’s pulling bologna, and sliced cheese out of his pants. So me, being the big brother, I’m the cook. I took all that bologna, all that sliced cheese and I put it onto a hot plate.It stunk up that room so bad. Dad comes home and he’s so mad, he picks up everything, chunks it into the trash, probably remained him of you....”
Giu: JOHN A + parenting, but also....I love the glimpses on their past, I really do.
Giu: What he made?
Nat: the winchester special? winchester surprise
Giu:Looks nasty..... I WANT IT 
- Mary trying to talk about how much she had missed.... yeah yeah you were dead it’s not that it’s your fault. 
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- AND HERE ...look I don’t like Mary but Samantha did an amazing job, like....good lord
- Dean:”But you are here now”.
....well....in the fuck cabin , yes she is.
- Dean: “ Mom that meant everything to me” 
- Dean: “ There is no clouds on the horizon”  fucKING LIAR
*SOBS*
- Mary:”Whatever you are going through , you can talk to me”
Dean : *DIMPLES OF DISCONTENT* 
Zee: I don’t wanna talk about it
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Giu: Please
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- The Winchester motto
Dean *snores*
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us : AAAAAAAAAAAW PRECIOUS
- I’m mary’s face 
Nat: She didn't even offer him a bed tho
Giu: I don’t think Dean wanted the fuck bed tho
-Mary snooping around, yes thank you, do something right.
- Mary: “Oh..no...no no no “ WHAAAAAAT
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Dean smacking mouth while sleeping is giving me ex ptsd
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Giu: OH FUCK PFF
Kat: Freaking creep
Giu: My cereal are soggy af. I can’t even eat. Also....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DISGUSTING LAMP.
- This shot is beautifuuuuul 
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- [ 007 theme music plays ]
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Nat: SAMMEEHHHHH
- Sam: “Hey Woah EASY”
Giu: CREEPY RAPE VAN
Zee: Come in. I’ve got candy
- Of course the demons keep track of the Winchesters. Are you kidding? they need to get the fuck out before they get to them lol, pussies.
Giu: “Nick what are u doing” ….we are whispering that since day fucking 1
Nat: Can we just burn that van? with them inside?
Kat: As long as they’re both in it
Nat: Dean'd hate us tho
Giu: ooooh he’ll get over it , *bad italo-american accent*  don’t worry about it
- Mary:” You could’ve just ask me” 
she’s not wrong.
- Mary : I took a demon and put it in a box and then I put that box into another box and then I put that box into a bigger box and then-
HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK OK.
Giu: I swear Nick’s story is stale af. Like...Mark is soooo good and he’s the reason lucifer arch stayed that long , i’m sad if he go out spn but lucifer needs to end.
Nat: Mark is really good tho, But yes, it's enough.  Sam's hair is fucking great.
Zee: True story
- Can Sam stop taking blame for other people bullshit already?
- oooh a storage room with traps like John
- Well that was a weak ass locket
- Mary’s storage : A pickled head, some creepy ass doll, mother instincts, a powerful demon trapped inside an enochian box.
Giu: Ok but...honestly who fucking cares tho...just give him the damn demon so he can fuck off. And shut the fuck up the both of ya.
Kat: Okay but if he’d just think about the answer to his question it’s so fucking obvious
Zee: A demon needs a host
Giu: put it in a fucking mice whatever
- Dean: “ Nick is not a project. He’s not a freaking puppet “
WE’VE BEEN KNEW
- Sam: “Since when do we give up on people?”  aaaw Sam never did but Dean needs to be there to balance ok. And anyway they saved Jack so , but yeah, some people are past the point of saving, even more when they don’t want to be saved. OOOOH IS THIS FORESHADOW????
- That poor man tho.
Zee: She dum
Kat : THEY BOTH ARE
Giu: Even Jack is smarter
Nat: Mary and Nick would make a good couple
Zee: NO DON’T
Kat: Ew
Giu: After all those years can’t he read enochian? I mean….I’d pick up one thing or two like….
- Can’t they use that box for Michael?
*Nick drills a hole in it*
welp....never fucking mind
Giu: WELL THAT WAS STUPID. the fuck, one could think that a damn enochian box would be more resilient. Nope...just ...drill into it
Zee: You just read what you wrote right??
Giu: Yep. Your dirty minds do the rest
Kat: I like this demon
- [lucifer is dead] Abraxy “ Is he?...cool”
Nat: I love this demon too
Nat :Stop the whining
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Giu: Omg Mark your acting tho
- Sam’s commander voice : GeT aWaY frOm her
- oompf
Kat: Damn it, she’s saved
- Goddamn it Nick
- Abraxy :” Lucifer planned the whole thing”
[us looking at Nick like we are in the office] 
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- This cracks me up so much...I couldn’t stop laughing while making this gif. The more you look at it , the funnier it gets.
Giu: Oh that was ...kinda hot. DEAN NAUGHTY
Nat : DEAN'S SEXY WHEN HE SPEAKS LATIN. a new kink i never knew I had
Giu : *hearing some italian sounding words* DAMN RIGHT. Welcome to my world Nat.
Zee: Sam pant
Nat: Never not sexy
Giu: H.O.T.
- Nick killing who killed his family and getting his “revenge”
Giu: is Nick finished being a fucking twat.
- Donna saves the day like the badass bitch that she is
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Sam: “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, I’m sorry I didn’t know how “
Nick: “It’s not about you Sam, It’s never about you. You couldn’t fix me ‘cause I don’t want to be fixed. I was never broken”
Zee&Nat&Giu : I was never broken
Giu: Oh shut up all of you
- Sam:”Yes Nick, you are. I don’t feel sorry for you, Nick. I feel sorry for the people you hurt, the people you murdered, the people whose faces will hunt you, everynight, for the rest of your life.”
Nat&Kat: You can burn
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Giu : That was hot and painful Sam, thank
- Mary: “I know what have you been building, planning. And we are gonna talk about that. We are all three of us,gonna talk about that. So if you don’t tell Sam....I will
Giu: OH WOW FOR ONCE SHE DONE RIGHT
- Dean: “It’s a Mal’ak box”
-COOL....I DON’T LIKE IT
Nat :FUCK. WHAT.WHAT?
Zee: A CAGE OF SORTS
Giu: IS HE GONNA FUCKING. NO. FUCK
Kat : MY SMART BABY
Giu: No ...no smart….that is masochist. THAT’S TERRIBLE
Nat: Does he want to buried alive, oh yeah, Sam just said it. NO
Kat: Worse.
Giu: WHAT THE FUCK
Zee: DROP HIM IN THE PACIFIC??
Nat: HE WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF
Giu: HE WILL NOT DIE THO. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE, IM NOT EVEN GONNA GET OFF CAPS.
Nat: WELL, HE WILL SOONER OR LATER
Giu: BUT WOULDN’T M KEEP HIM ALIVE THO
- Sam: “You and Michael, trapped...for eternity?”
- Dean: “It’s the only sane play I’ve got”
- Dean:” The door is giving. I can feel it giving”
Kat: NO DEAN WINCHESTER YOU SHUT YOUR FACE. I LOVE YOU FOR TRYING
Nat: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
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- Dean banging a fist on the box is like he just punched my heart ok
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-We all are Sam
- Sam:”Since when do we believe in fate?”
 Yall literally met her
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Giu: DID HE JUST…...FUCK U
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Nat:: I DON'T WANNA WATCH. BURN THIS EPISODE.BURN IT
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- Dean: “ Sam you are the last person I could tell, the last person that I could be around. ‘Cause you are the only one that could’ve talked me out of it. And I won’t be talked out of it. I won’t. I’m doing this”
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Zee: IM SCARED
Kat :OMG IM CRYING AGAIN
Nat: SAMMY'S HURTING SO BAD. DEAN AVOIDS SAM CUZ SAM IS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD STOP HIM.
Giu: I FEEL SICK
Kat: OUR BOYS
yeah great this feels like the soul bomb and Amara bullshit, FUCKING GREAT.
Giu: THE MUSIC. FUCK THIS MUSIC.
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- Sam starting to understand that Dean is “right”
- Dean:” You could let me do it alone, or you could help me” 
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ARE YOU FUCKING KID-
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- Sam: “All right”
me: *splutters*
Zee :REALLY??!!!
Zee : All right??!!! ALL RIGHT??
Nat:  FUCK I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING
Kat : The end.
Giu: Of my life , the end ….
Nat: WHAT THE FUCK. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
Giu: *scrambles to see the next promo*
Zee: Yeets behind you
Nat: I'M NOT OK. SOMEONE HOLD ME.
Kat: Always talk about how good Jensen is. Jared fucking killed me here
                                [After the 14x12 promo]
Giu: ...OK WHAT THE FUCK
Nat: NO, YEAH.. STILL NOT OK AFTER THE PREVIEW
Kat: Okay so preview. I think they are just trying out the box
Giu: what the fuuuuck. That’s horrible
Zee: Did he do it for real??
Giu: It’s Dean...he was deadly serious
Zee: Yeah!! Next episode. Don’t want that
Kat: I don’t think they’ll dump him yet,but something obviously goes wrong. I don’t want to wait a week but also don’t really want it to come
Giu: Did Dean seriously asked Sam to stay on the fucking phone until what?!
Zee: He ded? Sank? Dropped?
Kat : STOP IT
Giu: Anyway I’m still positive that M grace will keep Dean alive
Zee: In the box??
Giu: I mean he did tell Jack they would have been together for eons. His body at least. I mean dean’s mind can get shoved somewhere . But since M is a sadistic motherfucker , I bet he would make Dean feel everything. While keeping his vessel alive.
Kat: Of course he would. He made him drown inside his own head
Zee: We need the body too. Not sorry. Yeah but for how long ?
Giu: Well he can’t get out. I doubt Micheal would kill himself.
Zee: True. But also stay trapped for ever?
Giu: M is patient
Kat: I feel like that would be a fate worse than death for him. But he is patient af
Giu: I need to go have a jog because my whole body is wired up in tension
Zee: I need to crumble in a corner and slowly die
Kat: I can’t sleep, I’m all riled up again
Nat: * is trying to clock in at work*
. Well well WHAT A FUCKING RIDE.
WE HATED IT.
.
.
If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc  @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride
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esonetwork ¡ 5 years ago
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Timestamp #SJA3: Eye of the Gorgon
New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-sja3-eye-of-the-gorgon/
Timestamp #SJA3: Eye of the Gorgon
Sarah Jane Adventures: Eye of the Gorgon (2 episodes, s01e03, 2007)
  That moment when Alan Jackson gets stoned.
At the Lavender Lawns retirement home, a group of women claims to see a mysterious ghostly nun. Clyde tells Sarah Jane and Luke about this phenomenon as they go to investigate. While Sarah Jane interviews Mrs. Randall and the staff, Luke encounters Bea Nelson-Stanley, a woman with Alzheimer’s. She gives Luke a talisman that glows green but is unable to explain what it does or why she has it. Mrs. Gribbins, one of the caregivers, watches the exchange with interest. The trio leave, unaware of a creepy nun skulking amongst the trees.
Meanwhile, at the Jackson home, Chrissie decides to move back in with her ex-husband. In short order, she’s at odds with Maria over the Smiths and being abandoned. Alan tries to talk with Maria, but she storms off to Sarah Jane’s house in anger. Alan confronts Chrissie about her effect on him and Maria.
Sarah Jane and the boys return to her house and consult Mr. Smith about hauntings. The supercomputer detects the talisman and determines that it is an alien device. Sarah Jane takes Maria with her to follow up with Bea, taking the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart.
The nun, Sister Helena, disapproves of Bea passing the talisman to Luke and takes Mrs. Gribbins to a hooded woman in a wheelchair. There’s some screaming and such. Sister Helena then traces Luke and Clyde to Bannerman Road in search of the talisman. She nearly attacks the boys but Alan stumbles by in search of Maria and offers a donation to her cause. Sister Helena leaves and the boys decide to return to Lavender Lawns. While en route, the sisters kidnap Luke and Clyde alerts Sarah Jane.
Bea tells Sarah Jane tales about Sontarans – “the silliest looking race in the galaxy” – and the Gorgon, part of adventures with her archaeologist husband Edgar. He unearthed the talisman in Syria and Bea protected it to keep the Gorgon at bay. Sarah Jane and Maria return to Bannerman Road to research the myths of Medusa and the Gorgons.
Sarah Jane tracks the nuns to St. Agnes Abbey while Clyde and Maria sneak around back. Sarah Jane is reunited with Luke and the kids as the nuns spring their trap, bringing the Gorgon before the team. The Gorgon is the last of an original group of three, and after 3,000 years, she wants to use the talisman to open a portal to her planet and return home. The boys are left at the abbey and the ladies are escorted back to Sarah Jane’s house. Sarah Jane threatens to use her sonic lipstick to destroy the talisman, but Alan arrives at the wrong time and ends up turned to stone as the nuns snatch the talisman.
The nuns retreat to the abbey as Maria lashes out at Sarah Jane in anger. Sarah Jane comforts her and offers a promise that everything will be okay. After consulting with Mr. Smith, it seems that reversal is possible but not entirely realistic. Maria returns to Lavender Lawns to talk to Bea while Sarah Jane returns to the abbey.
Meanwhile, Luke and Clyde do some research at the abbey and find a secret passage. It leads them out to the garden where they find a large collection of statues. The nuns return and start their work to open the portal, intent on allowing the Gorgon species to invade Earth. Luke and Clyde stage a distraction and steal the talisman, soon rescued by Sarah Jane before being surrounded by chanting nuns and tossed into the cellar. The nuns return for Sarah Jane with the intent of making her the new vessel for the Gorgon’s essence.
Faced with a difficult task, Maria eventually breaks through to Bea. The elderly woman was once petrified herself, but was able to survive through the power of the amulet. She offers Maria a mirror for her quest to defeat the Gorgon.
While everyone is away, Chrissie skulks around Sarah Jane’s house and mistakes Alan’s petrified form as an object of obsession over her ex-husband. After Chrissie bares her soul to the “statue,�� it sheds a single tear as she walks away.
Luke fashions a lockpick from a garden spade and the boys escape from the cellar. They find Sarah Jane and the nuns as the portal opens and the Gorgon tries to transfer into Sarah Jane. Maria bursts in and uses the mirror to reflect the Gorgon back at its vessel, turning it into stone. She pulls the amulet and closes the portal, and the team rushes back to Bannerman Road to save Maria’s father.
Alan doesn’t remember the incident and Maria makes amends with both of her parents. Chrissie tries to reveal the statue to Alan, but without evidence, she has nothing to claim. Chrissie returns to her own home and bids her daughter farewell, both of them promising to look out for each other.
Maria and Sarah Jane speculate about the power of the amulet and wonder if it can save Bea from her Alzheimer’s. They return to Lavender Lawns and give it a try, but all the device can offer is a last word from Edgar: “I will always love you, Bea.” Bea smiles and thanks Sarah Jane and Maria. They pair leave Lavender Lawns with the knowledge that Bea has found peace, intent on returning home in time to watch the Viszeran Royal Fleet pass through the solar system.
After all, despite taking only a few seconds, it is the most magnificent light show this side of the galaxy.
  Purely paint-by-numbers, this adventure was entertaining enough. It introduced a new enemy based on classic myths, as well as calling back to Sarah Jane’s early adventures with the Sontarans. Remember that her first adventure with the Third Doctor introduced everyone to the Sontarans, and she encountered them again in her extended first adventure with the Fourth Doctor.
Otherwise, the characters and story were straight down the middle of the road average. We get a nice bundle of references to Star Trek and 1964’s The Gorgon, but no callbacks to the Medusa-like encounter back in The Mind Robber.
  Rating: 3/5 – “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”
  UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: Warriors of Kudlak
  The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.
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merianmoriarty ¡ 2 years ago
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Server Movie Synopsis: Smile
*AN: Keep in mind that these synopses will contain spoilers and may not be complete, as I rarely see the entire movie while serving for it. These synopses are just going to be fast impressions of an Alamo Drafthouse server.*
Overworked emergency shrink, okay.  Tilty camera!  Oh, this girl’s deeply unwell.  Eye-zoomy!  OUR TITLE CARD IS LOUD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, MWAHAHA!
Oh shit she has a cat who loves her.  WELL THAT CAT IS DOOMED.  Home alone spookies.  Sister and Bro-in-law are douches, damn.  “What’s the point of becoming a doctor if you’re not going to get rich?” Uhhhhh, helping people?
Ope, it gettin’ spookier!  First girl laid it out pretty neatly, tbh.  “Are you sure you’re alone in the house, Rose?”  YUP CALLED IT CAT DEAD EXTREMELY SAD FUCK YOU MOVIE.  Spookiness intensifies, fiance is a skeptic.  Research!  Dude before first girl also described it very well.  Who did he get it from???  ASK THE COP EX-BF.  It’s a pattern???  Idea time!  Idea did not work out, plus Rose’s relationship with fiance is def not healthy.
Research!  Twenty cases, nineteen deaths, always within a week.  Rose just ended day four, oh noes!  Cop Ex is like “it’ll be okay, I promise”--bro, do you want her to die???  Why don’t you just say you’ll “have a drink together after this is over” and make sure she’s 100% narratively cursed???
Survivor tells her the one way out:  GOTTA KILL A BITCH ALL MESSY WITH A WITNESS.  Well, golly, she can’t do that because it’s seriously fucked up and she’d rather go die all by herself and not get anybody else killed tbh.  Oh wait.  All by herself!  SPOOKY ABANDONED HOUSE.  Trauma excised!  Sort of!  Yay, she beat it--FALSE ALARM SHE DID NOT BEAT IT AT ALL IT TOTALLY WON, SHIT.  Eye-zoomy!  Well, now Cop Ex is the Final Girl and he gets to be in the nonexistent sequel.  Black screen.  Lollipop!
Featuring just the right amount of Jump Scares, tilty cameras, creepy audio, a bad guy that reminds me of The Nun, the bad guy coming over a couch like a Mass Effect Banshee, Way Too Many Teeth, and a victim explaining the phenomenon clearly within the first ten minutes of the movie:  “It looks like people.  But it’s not a person.” “It keeps smiling at me...but not a nice smile.”  “I’ve never felt scared like I do when it’s there.”  “It’s not a hallucination!  It makes things happen.”  “It tells me things...it keeps telling me that today’s the day I’m gonna...”
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aion-rsa ¡ 4 years ago
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Best Horror Movies Streaming on HBO Max
https://ift.tt/36Q0Lpl
Editor’s Note: This post is updated monthly. Bookmark this page and come back every month to see the new horror movies on HBO Max.
Updated for October 2020
What ever would we do without horror?
So much of our daily life is built around logic and known, verifiable facts, and for some, the rest of the time must be supplemented with comforting reassurances that everything is going to be alright. Well if the last year has taught us anything… that’s not the case. Perhaps this is why horror hounds know the best way to face abstract fears is to confront them head on… and preferably with a screen in the way.
So, with Halloween around the corner, we figured it’s time to get in touch with our illogical, terrified animal brain. That’s where horror and horror movies in particular come in. Gathered here are the best horror movies on HBO Max for your scaring needs.
Alien
“In space, no one can hear you scream,” the tagline for Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi/horror epic promised. Well maybe they should have screened this thing in space because I’m sure all that audiences in theaters did was scream.
Alien has since evolved into a heady, science fiction franchise that has stretched out for decades. The original film, however, is a small-scale, terrifyingly claustrophobic thriller.
Altered States
What if you could tap into the vast swaths of the brain you never use? What if you did and didn’t like what we found? And what if it was an absolute psychedelic rush of a cinematic experience?
All three questions are answered in their own way during Ken Russell’s Altered States, a wild sci-fi thriller. In the film, William Hurt stars as a psychologist who begins experimenting with taking hallucinatory drugs while in a sensory depravation tank.
Yes, he manages to expand his consciousness; he also begins to expand his physical body as it transforms beneath his skin. Or does it? Well that’s yet another good question…
An American Werewolf in London
Arguably the definitive werewolf movie, John Landis’ 1981 horror masterpiece has the single greatest on-screen lycanthropic transformation in movie history… and that’s only one of its appeals.
Peppered with loving references to the werewolf movies that came before it and a few legitimate laughs to go along with the scares, An American Werewolf in London is remarkably knowing and self-aware, without ever flirting with parody.
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An American Werewolf in London Is Still the Best Horror Reimagining
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13 Must-See Werewolf Movies
By Mike Cecchini
Not enough can be said about Rick Baker’s practical effects, which extend beyond the aforementioned on-screen transformation and into one of the most gruesome depictions of a werewolf attack aftermath you’re ever likely to see. A classic of the era, it still can get under the skin whenever Griffin Dunne’s mutilated corpse rises from the grave to warn his friend to “beware the moon.”
The Brood
I bet you never thought placenta could look so tasty, but when Samantha Eggar’s Nola Carveth licks her newborn clean you’ll be craving seconds within the hour. She brings feline intuition to female troubles. We get it. Having a new baby can be scary. Having a brood is terrifying. Feminine power is the most horrifying of all for male directors used to being in control.
David Cronenberg takes couples therapy one step too far in his 1979 psychological body-horror film, The Brood. When it came out critics called it reprehensible trash, but it is the writer-director’s most traditional horror story. Oliver Reed plays with mental illness like Bill Sikes played with the kids as Hal Raglan, the psychotherapist treating the ex-wife of Frank Carveth (Art Hindle). The film starts slow, unfolding its drama through cuts and bruises.
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Best Horror Movies on Netflix: Scariest Films to Stream
By David Crow and 2 others
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Katharine Isabelle on How Ginger Snaps Explored the Horror of Womanhood
By Rosie Fletcher
Cronenberg unintentionally modifies the body of the Kramer vs. Kramer story in The Brood, but the murderous munchkins at the external womb of the film want a little more than undercooked French toast.
Carnival of Souls
Carnival of Souls may be the most unlikely of chillers to appear in the Criterion Collection. Hailing from the great state of Kansas and helmed by commercial director Herk Harvey, who was looking for his big break in features, there is something hand-crafted about the whole affair. There’s also something unmistakably eerie.
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Carnival Of Souls: The Strange Story Behind the Greatest Horror Movie You’ve Never Seen
By Joshua Winning
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A24 Horror Movies Ranked From Worst to Best
By David Crow and 3 others
The story is fairly basic campfire boilerplate, following a woman (Candace Hilligoss) who survives a car crash but is then haunted by the sound of music and visions of the ghoulish dead–beckoning her toward a decrepit carnival abandoned some years earlier–and the acting can leave something to be desired. But the dreadful dreamlike atmosphere is irresistible.
With a strong sense of fatalism and inescapable doom, the film takes an almost melodic and disinterested gait as it stalks its heroine to her inevitable end, presenting images of the walking dead that linger in the mind long after the credits roll.
The Curse of Frankenstein
Hammer is probably best remembered now for its series of Christopher Lee-starring Dracula movies. Yet its oddball Frankenstein franchise deserves recognition too. While Hammer’s efforts certainly pale in comparison to the Frankenstein movies produced by Universal Pictures in the 1930s and ’40s, the Hammer ones remain distinctly unique. Whereas the Creature was the star of the earlier films, so much so the studio kept changing the actor beneath the Jack Pierce makeup after Boris Karloff got fed up three movies in, the not-so-good doctor leads the Hammer alternatives.
Read more
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The Conjuring Timeline Explained: From The Nun to Annabelle Comes Home
By Daniel Kurland
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Frankenstein Adaptations Are Almost Never Frankenstein Adaptations
By Kayti Burt
Indeed, between bouts of playing the almost sickeningly pious Abraham Van Helsing, Peter Cushing portrayed a perverse and dastardly Victor Frankenstein at Hammer, and it all begins with The Curse of Frankenstein. It isn’t necessarily the best movie in the series, but it introduces us to Cushing’s cruel scientist, played here as less mad than malevolent.
It also features Christopher Lee in wonderfully grotesque monster makeup. This is the film where Hammer began forming an identity that would become infamous in the realm of horror.
The Conjuring 2
Making an effective, truly spooky mainstream horror film is hard enough. But The Conjuring franchise really nailed things out of the gate with a sequel that is every bit as fun and terrifying as the original.
Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga return as paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren in The Conjuring 2. This time the Warrens head to Great Britain to attend to the Hodgson family, dealing with some poltergeist problems in their Enfield home. The source of the Enfield haunting’s activity contains some of the most disturbing and terrifying visuals in the entire Conjuring franchise and helped to set up a (sadly pretty bad) spinoff sequel in The Nun.
Doctor Sleep
Let’s be up front about this: Doctor Sleep is not The Shining. For some that fact will make this sequel’s existence unforgivable. Yet there is a stoic beauty and creepy despair just waiting to be experienced by those willing to accept Doctor Sleep on its own terms.
Directed by one of the genre’s modern masters, Mike Flanagan, the movie had the unenviable task of combining one of King’s most disappointing texts with the opposing sensibilities of Stanley Kubrick’s singular The Shining adaptation.
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Doctor Sleep Director Mike Flanagan on the Possibility of The Shining 3
By John Saavedra
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Doctor Sleep: Rebecca Ferguson on Becoming the New Shining Villain
By John Saavedra
And yet, the result is an effective thriller about lifelong regrets and trauma personified by the ghostly specters of the Overlook Hotel. But they’re far from the only horrors here. Rebecca Ferguson is absolutely chilling as the smiling villain Rose the Hat, and the scene where she and other literal energy vampires descend upon young Jacob Tremblay is the stuff of nightmares. Genuinely, it’s a scene you won’t forget, for better or worse….
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave
Hammer Films’ fourth Dracula movie, and third to star the ever reluctant Christopher Lee, is by some fans’ account the most entertaining one. While it lacks the polish and ultimate respectability of Lee’s first outing as the vampire, Horror of Dracula (which you can read more about below), just as it is missing the invaluable Peter Cushing, Dracula Has Risen from the Grave arrived in 1968 at the crossroads of Hammer’s pulpy aesthetic. Their films had not yet devolved into exploitative shlock as they would a few years later, but the censors seemingly were throwing up their hands and allowing for the studio’s vampires to be meaner, bloodier, and sexier.
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Taste the Blood of Dracula: A Hidden Hammer Films Gem
By Don Kaye
In this particular romp, Dracula has indeed risen from the grave (yes, again!) because of the good intentions of one German monsignor (Rupert Davies). The religious leader is in central Europe to save souls, but the local denizens of a village won’t go to a church caught in the shadow of Castle Dracula. So the priest exorcises the structure, oblivious that his sidekick is also accidentally dripping blood into the mouth of Dracula’s corpse down the river. Boom he’s back!
And yet, our fair Count can’t enter his home anymore. So for revenge, Dracula follows the monsignor to his house and lays eyes on the patriarch’s comely young niece (Veronica Carlson). You can probably figure out the rest.
Eraserhead
“In Heaven, everything is fine,” sings the Lady in the Radiator in Eraserhead. “You’ve got your good things, and I’ve got mine.”
You may get something short of paradise, but the insular world David Lynch created for his 1977 experimental existential horror film is a land of mundane wonders, commonplace mysteries, and extremely awkward dinner conversations. Lynch’s first feature film is surrealistic, expressionistic, and musically comic. The minor key score and jarring black and white images bring half-lives to the industrial backdrop and exquisite squalor. At its heart though, Eraserhead is poignant, sad, and ultimately relatable on a universal level.
Read more
TV
Buffy: The Animated Series – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spin-Off That Never Was
By Caroline Preece
Games
How Scorn Turned the Art of H.R. Giger into a Nightmarish Horror Game World
By John Saavedra
Jack Nance’s Henry Spencer is the spiky-haired everyman. He works hard at his job, cares deeply for his deformed, mutant child, and is desperate to please his extended family. Lynch lays a comedy of manners in a rude, crude city. The film is an assault on the senses, and it might take a little while for the viewer’s brains to adjust to the images on the screen; it is a different reality, and not an entirely inviting one, but stick with it. Once you’re in with the in-laws, you’re home free. When you make it to the end, you can tell your friends you watched all of Eraserhead. When they ask you what it’s about, you can tell them you saw it.
Eyes Without a Face
“I’ve done so much wrong to perform this miracle,” Doctor Génessier (Pierre Brasseur) confesses in the 1960 horror film Eyes Without a Face. But he says it in French, making it all so much more poignant, allowing it to underscore everything director and co-writer Georges Franju did right. We feel for the respectable plastic surgeon forced to do monstrous things. But the monster behind the title character is his young daughter Christiane (Édith Scob). She spends the majority of the film behind a mask, even more featureless than the unpainted plastic Captain Kirk kid’s costume Michael Myers wore in Halloween. The first time we see her face though, the shock wears off quickly and we are more moved than terrified. 
Like Val Lewton films, the horror comes from the desolate black-and-white atmosphere, shrouding the claustrophobic suspense in German Expressionism. Maurice Jarre’s score evokes a Gothic carnival as much as a mad scientist’s laboratory. After his daughter’s face is hideously disfigured in an accident, Dr. Génessier becomes obsessed with trying to restore it. We aren’t shown much, until we’re shown too much. We see his heterograft surgical procedure in real time. A woman’s face is slowly flayed from the muscle. The graphic scenes pack more of a visceral shock after all the encroaching dread.
Godzilla
As the original and by far still the best Godzilla movie ever produced, this 1954 classic (originally titled Gojira), is one of the many great Showa Era classics that the Criterion Collection and HBO Max are making readily available to American audiences. And if you want to watch one that is actually scary, look no further.
In this original uncut Japanese form, the movie’s genuine dread of nuclear devastation, as well as nightly air raids, less than 10 years since World War II ended in several mushroom clouds, is overwhelming. Tapping into the real cultural anxiety of a nation left marred by the memory of its dead, as well as the recent incident of a fishing crew being contaminated by unannounced hydrogen bomb testing at Bikini Atoll, Godzilla encapsulates terror for the atomic age in a giant lizard.
Read more
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Godzilla: First 15 Showa Era Movies Ranked
By Don Kaye
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Godzilla 1998: What Went Wrong With the Roland Emmerich Movie?
By Jim Knipfel
And unlike the sequels there is nothing cuddly or amusing about this original Kaiju with its scarred body and legion of tumors. This is the one Godzilla movie to play it straight, and it still plays today.
Horror of Dracula
Replacing Bela Lugosi as Dracula was not easily done in 1958. It’s still not easily done now. Which makes the fact that Christopher Lee turned Bram Stoker’s vampire into his own screen legend in Horror of Dracula all the more remarkable. Filmed in vivid color by director Terence Fisher, Horror of Dracula brought gushing bright red to the movie vampire, which up until then had been mostly relegated to black and white shadows.
Read more
Culture
The Bleeding Heart of Dracula
By David Crow
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BBC/Netflix Dracula’s Behind-the-Scenes Set Secrets
By Louisa Mellor
With its penchant for gore and heaving bosoms, Horror of Dracula set the template for what became Hammer Film Productions’ singular brand of horror iconography, but it’s also done rather tastefully the first time out here, not least of all because of Lee bring this aggressively cold-blooded version of Stoker’s monster to life. It’s all business with this guy.
Conversely, Abraham Van Helsing was never more dashing than when played by Peter Cushing in this movie. The film turned both into genre stars, and paved the way for a career of doing this dance time and again.
The Invisible Man
After years of false starts and failed attempts at resurrecting the classic Universal Monsters, Universal Pictures finally figured out how to make it work: They called Blumhouse Productions.
Yep, Jason Blum’s home for micro-budgeted modern horror worked wonders alongside writer-director Leigh Whannell in updating the classic 1933 James Whale movie, and the H.G. Wells novel on which it is based, for the 21st century.
Read more
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By Rosie Fletcher
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By Don Kaye
Turning the story of a man who masters invisibility into a horrific experience told from the vantage of the woman trying to escape his toxic violence, The Invisible Man becomes a disquieting allegory for the #MeToo era. It also is a devastating showcase for Elisabeth Moss who is compelling as Cecilia, the abused and gaslighted woman that barely found the will to escape, yet will now have to discover more strength since everyone around her shrugs off the idea of her dead ex coming back as an invisible man…
Lifeforce
Most assuredly a horror movie for a very acquired taste, there are few who would call Tobe Hooper’s career-destroying Lifeforce a good movie. There probably aren’t even many who would call it a fun movie. But for those with a singular taste for batshit pulp run amok, Lifeforce needs to be seen to be believed: Naked French vampire girls from outer space! Hordes of extras as zombies marauding through downtown London! Lush Henry Mancini music over special effects way outside of Cannon Films’ budget!!! Patrick Stewart as an authority figure possessed by said naked French space vampire, trying to seduce an astronaut via makeout sessions?!
Read more
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By Ryan Lambie
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By Ryan Lambie
… What is this movie? Why does it exist? We don’t know, but we’re probably more glad it does than the people who made it.
Magic
As much a psychological case study as as a traditional horror movie, for those who like their terror rooted in humanity, Magic may be the creepiest iteration of the “killer doll” subgenre since this is about the man who thinks his dummy is alive. Starring Anthony Hopkins before he was Hannibal, or had a “Sir” in front of his name, Magic is the brain child of William Goldman, who adapted his own novel into this movie before he’d go on to do the same for The Princess Bride (as well as adapt Stephen King’s Misery), but after he’d already written Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Marathon Man.
In the film, Hopkins stars as Corky, a down on his luck ventriloquist who tries to get his life together by tracking down his high school sweetheart (Ann-Margret). She’ll soon probably wish he didn’t bother once she realizes Corky believes his ventriloquist dummy Fats really is magic… and is determined to get him to act on the most heinous of impulses.
The Most Dangerous Game
Before King Kong, Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack released The Most Dangerous Game, one of the all-time great pulp movies, based on a short story by Richard Connell. This classic has influenced everything from Predator to The Running Man, The Hunger Games to Ready or Not.
It’s the story of a big game hunter who shipwrecks on a remote island with an eccentric Russian Count who escaped the Bolshevik Revolution (Leslie Banks). The wayward noble now drinks, studies, and charms his apparently frequent array of unannounced guests, including two other survivors from a previous (suspicious) wreck. The film quickly boils down to a mad rich man determined to hunt his guests as prey across the island for the ultimate thrill.
Read more
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The Most Dangerous Game That Never Ends
By David Crow
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Why King Kong Can Never Escape His Past
By David Crow
Man hunting man, man lusting after woman in a queasy pre-Code fashion, this is a primal throwback to adventure yarns of the 19th century, which were still relatively recent in 1932. Shot simultaneously with King Kong, this is 63 brisk minutes of excitement, dread, and delicious overacting. Let the games begin.
Night of the Living Dead
“They’re coming to get you, Barbara!”
The zombie movie that more or less invented our modern understanding of what a zombie movie is, there is little new that can be said about George A. Romero’s original guts and brains classic, Night of the Living Dead. Shot in black and white and on almost no budget, the film reimagined zombies as a horde of ravenous flesh-eaters, as opposed to a lowly servant of the damned and enchanted.
Read more
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Night of the Living Dead: The Many Sequels, Remakes, and Spinoffs
By Alex Carter
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By David Crow
Still visually striking in black and white, perhaps the key reason to go back to the zombie movie that started it all is due to how tragically potent its central conflict from 1968 remains: When strangers are forced to join forces and barricade in a farmhouse to survive a zombie invasion, the wealthy white businessman is constantly at odds with the young Black man in the group, to the point of drawing weapons…
Ready or Not
The surprise horror joy of 2019, Ready or Not was a wicked breath of fresh air from the creative team Radio Silence. With a star-making lead turn by Samara Weaving, the movie is essentially a reworking of The Most Dangerous Game where a bride is being hunted by her groom’s entire wedding party on the night of their nuptials.
It’s a nutty premise that has a delicious (and broad) satirical subtext about the indulgences and eccentricities of the rich, as the would-be extended family of Grace (Weaving) is only pursuing her because they’re convinced a grandfather made a deal with the Devil for their wealth–and to keep it they must step on those beneath them every generation. Well step, shoot, stab, and ritualistically sacrifice in this cruelest game of hide and seek ever. Come for the gonzo high-concept and stay for the supremely satisfying ending.
Sisters
One of the scariest things about the 1972 psychological thriller Sisters is the subliminal sounds of bones creaking and muscles readjusting during the slasher scenes. Margot Kidder plays both title characters: conjoined twins, French Canadian model Danielle Breton and asylum-committed Dominique Blanchion, who had been surgically separated. Director Brian De Palma puts the movie together like a feature-long presentation of the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. The camera lingers over bodies, bloodied or pristine, mobile or prone, with fetishistic glee before instilling the crime scenes in the mind’s eye. He allows longtime Hitchcock composer Bernard Herrmann to assault the ear.
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By Alec Bojalad and 3 others
De Palma was inspired by a photograph of Masha and Dasha Krivoshlyapova, Russian conjoined twins with seemingly polarized temperaments. There may be no deeper bond than blood, which the film has plenty of, but the real alter ego comes from splitscreen compositions and an outside intruder. The voyeuristic delight culminates in a surgical dream sequence with freaks, geeks, a giant, and dwarves. Nothing is as it seems and an out-of-order telephone is a triggering reminder.
Us
Jordan Peele’s debut feature Get Out was a near instant horror classic so anticipation was high for his follow-up. Thanks to an excellent script, Peele’s deep appreciation of pop culture, and some stellar performances, Us mostly lived up to the hype.
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Us Ending Explained
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Us: How Jeremiah 11:11 Fits in Jordan Peele Movie
By Rosie Fletcher
The film tells the story of the Wilson family from Santa Cruz. After a seemingly normal trip to a summer home and the beach, Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o), Gabe (Winston Duke) and their two kids are confronted by their own doppelgangers, are weird, barely verbal, and wearing red. But then Adelaide is not terribly surprised given her own personal childhood traumas. And that’s only the beginning of the horror at play. Fittingly, Us feels like a feature length Twilight Zone concept done right.
Vampyr
A nigh silent picture, Vampyr came at a point of transition for its director Carl Th. Dreyer. The Danish filmmaker, who often worked in Germany and France at this time, was making only his second “talkie” when he mounted this vampire opus. That might be why the movie is largely absent of dialogue. The plot, which focuses on a young man journeying to a village that is under the thrall of a vampire, owes much to Bram Stoker’s Dracula as well as F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu from some years earlier.
Yet there horror fans should seek Vampyr out, if for no other reason than the stunning visuals and cinematography. Alternating between German Expressionist influences in its use to shadows to unsettling images crafted in naturalistic light, such as a boatman carrying an ominous scythe, this a a classic of mood and atmosphere. Better still is when they combine, such as when the scythe comes back to bedevil a woman sleeping, trapping us all in her nightmare. Even if its narrative has been told better, before and after, there’s a reason this movie’s iconography lingers nearly a century later.
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wildlife4life ¡ 8 months ago
Note
Today is not really a day to be a buddie shipper isn’t it 😂😭😭
Lets first take deep breath anon okay?
Okay.
First off, JLH was joking with her comment (and people really need to stop asking those who aren't Oliver or Ryan about buddie. Its just rude at this point)
Second, those stills... well we already knew we're going to have to suffer through the creepy smiling ex-nun for a bit longer. But anon, we survived a whole season of TK, including a freaking back story episode and those were some very dark times.
Third, its been stated by a screener/journalist that we'll get a cute buddie scene, so that should cleanse the palate of whatever we're about to sit through with the ex-nun and the diaz boys. (Try to keep focus on them not her!)
Hope that helps!
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wildlife4life ¡ 8 months ago
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So we all are scared for Edmundo Diaz like ughhh I’m so excited for tomorrow really and I just really want him happy and like people can kindly F off because some shippers want Eddie dead now and I’m like ????
Oh I am very scared for him, especially whenever he's around creepy smiles ex-nun lol.
But also, fuck all the Eddie haters that want him dead. Eddie is one of the best things to happen to this show and has added so much value. Also I'm betting a lot of you were drawn to the show because of his relationship with Buck.
KEEP HIS GOD DAMN NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS!
Eddie defense squad rise!
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aion-rsa ¡ 4 years ago
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Best Horror Movies Streaming on HBO Max
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Editor’s Note: This post is updated monthly. Bookmark this page and come back every month to see the new horror movies on HBO Max.
What ever would we do without horror?
So much of our day to day life is built around logic and known, verifiable facts, and for some, the rest of the time must be supplemented with comforting reassurances that everything is going to be alright. Well if the last year has taught us anything… that’s not the case. Perhaps this is why horror hounds know the best way to face abstract fears is to confront them head on… and preferably with a screen in the way.
So, with Halloween around the corner, we figured it’s time to get in touch with our illogical, terrified animal brain. That’s where horror and horror movies in particular come in. Gathered here are the best horror movies on HBO Max for your scaring needs.
Alien
“In space, no one can hear you scream,” the tagline for Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi/horror epic promised. Well maybe they should have screened this thing in space because I’m sure all that audiences in theaters did was scream.
Alien has since evolved into a heady, science fiction franchise that has stretched out for decades. The original film, however, is a small-scale, terrifyingly claustrophobic thriller.
Altered States
What if you could tap into the vast swaths of the brain you never use? What if you did and didn’t like what we found? And what if it was an absolute psychedelic rush of a cinematic experience?
All three questions are answered in their own way during Ken Russell’s Altered States, a wild sci-fi thriller. In the film, William Hurt stars as a psychologist who begins experimenting with taking hallucinatory drugs while in a sensory depravation tank.
Yes, he manages to expand his consciousness; he also begins to expand his physical body as it transforms beneath his skin. Or does it? Well that’s yet another good question…
An American Werewolf in London
Arguably the definitive werewolf movie, John Landis’ 1981 horror masterpiece has the single greatest on-screen lycanthropic transformation in movie history… and that’s only one of its appeals.
Peppered with loving references to the werewolf movies that came before it and a few legitimate laughs to go along with the scares, An American Werewolf in London is remarkably knowing and self-aware, without ever flirting with parody.
Not enough can be said about Rick Baker’s practical effects, which extend beyond the aforementioned on-screen transformation and into one of the most gruesome depictions of a werewolf attack aftermath you’re ever likely to see. A classic of the era, it still can get under the skin whenever Griffin Dunne’s mutilated corpse rises from the grave to warn his friend to “beware the moon.”
New Line Cinema
Blade II
Perhaps Guillermo del Toro‘s schlockiest movie, there’s still great fun to be had by all in Blade II. As a sequel to the 1998 vampire actioner that starred Wesley Snipes as the titular “daywalker,” Blade II builds on the lore of the first film and its secret underground society of bloodsuckers who Blade must do battle with.
However, del Toro heightens both the Gothic lunacy of it all, as well as the horror quotient. Truly there are few sights as gross in vampire lore as Luke Goss’ Nomak, a new type of monster whose face opens like a flower, revealing a gaping hole of fangs and tongue…
The Brood
I bet you never thought placenta could look so tasty, but when Samantha Eggar’s Nola Carveth licks her newborn clean you’ll be craving sloppy seconds within the hour. She brings feline intuition to female troubles. We get it. Having a new baby can be scary. Having a brood is terrifying. Feminine power is the most horrifying of all for male directors used to being in control.
David Cronenberg takes couples therapy one step too far in his 1979 psychological body-horror film, The Brood. When it came out critics called it reprehensible trash, but it is the writer-director’s most traditional horror story. Oliver Reed plays with mental illness like Bill Sikes played with the kids as Hal Raglan, the psychotherapist treating the ex-wife of Frank Carveth (Art Hindle). The film starts slow, unfolding its drama through cuts and bruises.
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Cronenberg unintentionally modifies the body of the Kramer vs. Kramer story in The Brood, but the murderous munchkins at the external womb of the film want a little more than undercooked French toast.
Carnival of Souls
Carnival of Souls may be the most unlikely of chillers to appear in the Criterion Collection. Hailing from the great state of Kansas and helmed by commercial director Herk Harvey, who was looking for his big break in features, there is something hand-crafted about the whole affair. There’s also something unmistakably eerie.
The story is fairly basic campfire boilerplate, following a woman (Candace Hilligoss) who survives a car crash but is then haunted by the sound of music and visions of the ghoulish dead–beckoning her toward a decrepit carnival abandoned some years earlier–and the acting can leave something to be desired. But the dreadful dreamlike atmosphere is irresistible.
With a strong sense of fatalism and inescapable doom, the film takes an almost melodic and disinterested gait as it stalks its heroine to her inevitable end, presenting images of the walking dead that linger in the mind long after the credits roll.
The Conjuring 2
Making an effective, truly spooky mainstream horror film is hard enough. But The Conjuring franchise really nailed things out of the gate with a sequel that is every bit as fun and terrifying as the original.
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Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga return as paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren in The Conjuring 2. This time the Warrens head to Great Britain to attend to the Hodgson family, dealing with some poltergeist problems in their Enfield home. The source of the Enfield haunting’s activity contains some of the most disturbing and terrifying visuals in the entire Conjuring franchise and helped to set up a (sadly pretty bad) spinoff sequel in The Nun.
Doctor Sleep
Let’s be up front about this: Doctor Sleep is not The Shining. For some that fact will make this sequel’s existence unforgivable. Yet there is a stoic beauty and creepy despair just waiting to be experienced by those willing to accept Doctor Sleep on its own terms.
Directed by one of the genre’s modern masters, Mike Flanagan, the movie had the unenviable task of combining one of King’s most disappointing texts with the opposing sensibilities of Stanley Kubrick’s singular The Shining adaptation.
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And yet, the result is an effective thriller about lifelong regrets and trauma personified by the ghostly specters of the Overlook Hotel. But they’re far from the only horrors here. Rebecca Ferguson is absolutely chilling as the smiling villain Rose the Hat, and the scene where she and other literal energy vampires descend upon young Jacob Tremblay is the stuff of nightmares. Genuinely, it’s a scene you won’t forget, for better or worse….
Eraserhead
“In Heaven, everything is fine,” sings the Lady in the Radiator in Eraserhead. “You’ve got your good things, and I’ve got mine.”
You may get something short of paradise, but the insular world David Lynch created for his 1977 experimental existential horror film is a land of mundane wonders, commonplace mysteries, and extremely awkward dinner conversations. Lynch’s first feature film is surrealistic, expressionistic, and musically comic. The minor key score and jarring black and white images bring half-lives to the industrial backdrop and exquisite squalor. At its heart though, Eraserhead is poignant, sad, and ultimately relatable on a universal level.
Jack Nance’s Henry Spencer is the spiky-haired everyman. He works hard at his job, cares deeply for his deformed, mutant child, and is desperate to please his extended family. Lynch lays a comedy of manners in a rude, crude city. The film is an assault on the senses, and it might take a little while for the viewer’s brains to adjust to the images on the screen; it is a different reality, and not an entirely inviting one, but stick with it. Once you’re in with the in-laws, you’re home free. When you make it to the end, you can tell your friends you watched all of Eraserhead. When they ask you what it’s about, you can tell them you saw it.
Eyes Without a Face
“I’ve done so much wrong to perform this miracle,” Doctor Génessier (Pierre Brasseur) confesses in the 1960 horror film Eyes Without a Face. But he says it in French, making it all so much more poignant, allowing it to underscore everything director and co-writer Georges Franju did right. We feel for the respectable plastic surgeon forced to do monstrous things. But the monster behind the title character is his young daughter Christiane (Édith Scob). She spends the majority of the film behind a mask, even more featureless than the unpainted plastic Captain Kirk kid’s costume Michael Myers wore in Halloween. The first time we see her face though, the shock wears off quickly and we are more moved than terrified. 
Like Val Lewton films, the horror comes from the desolate black-and-white atmosphere, shrouding the claustrophobic suspense in German Expressionism. Maurice Jarre’s score evokes a Gothic carnival as much as a mad scientist’s laboratory. After his daughter’s face is hideously disfigured in an accident, Dr. Génessier becomes obsessed with trying to restore it. We aren’t shown much, until we’re shown too much. We see his heterograft surgical procedure in real time. A woman’s face is slowly flayed from the muscle. The graphic scenes pack more of a visceral shock after all the encroaching dread.
From Dusk Till Dawn
Some movies have such a gonzo left turn between acts that audiences will either go with it or throw their popcorn at the screen in disgust. For most viewers, including us, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s From Dusk Till Dawn is happily the former. An absolutely wild mash-up of the gangster genre that both filmmakers were redefining in the 1990s and the type of schlocky grindhouse thrills they worshipped at 1970s drive-ins, From Dusk Till Dawn is one of the strangest and most satisfying vampire movies ever made.
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With a story that improbably pairs Tarantino and George Clooney as on screen brothers, the flick recounts how the duo’s notorious Gecko Brothers kidnap a nice Christian family ruled by a doubting pastor (Harvey Keitel) in order to sneak across the Mexican border. But once there, the strip club they choose to spend the night in has the unfortunate gimmick of being run by ancient vampires, including Salma Hayek as the Queen of the Undead. It’s batshit good fun, and a far better tribute to grindhouse cinema than the Grindhouse double-feature the same filmmakers would partner on a decade later.
Godzilla
As the original and by far still the best Godzilla movie ever produced, this 1954 classic (originally titled Gojira), is one of the many great Showa Era classics that the Criterion Collection and HBO Max are making readily available to American audiences. And if you want to watch one that is actually scary, look no further.
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In this original uncut Japanese form, the movie’s genuine dread of nuclear devastation, as well as nightly air raids, less than 10 years since World War II ended in several mushroom clouds, is overwhelming. Tapping into the real cultural anxiety of a nation left marred by the memory of its dead, as well as the recent incident of a fishing crew being contaminated by unannounced hydrogen bomb testing at Bikini Atoll, Godzilla encapsulates terror for the atomic age in a giant lizard. But unlike the sequels there is nothing cuddly or amusing about this original Kaiju with its scarred body and legion of tumors. This is the one Godzilla movie to play it straight, and it still plays today.
The Invisible Man
After years of false starts and failed attempts at resurrecting the classic Universal Monsters, Universal Pictures finally figured out how to make it work: They called Blumhouse Productions.
Yep, Jason Blum’s home for micro-budgeted modern horror worked wonders alongside writer-director Leigh Whannell in updating the classic 1933 James Whale movie, and the H.G. Wells novel on which it is based, for the 21st century.
Read more
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How The Invisible Man Channels the Original Tale
By Don Kaye
Turning the story of a man who masters invisibility into a horrific experience told from the vantage of the woman trying to escape his toxic violence, The Invisible Man becomes a disquieting allegory for the #MeToo era. It also is a devastating showcase for Elisabeth Moss who is compelling as Cecilia, the abused and gaslighted woman that barely found the will to escape, yet will now have to discover more strength since everyone around her shrugs off the idea of her dead ex coming back as an invisible man…
Lifeforce
Most assuredly a horror movie for a very acquired taste, there are few who would call Tobe Hooper’s career-destroying Lifeforce a good movie. There probably aren’t even many who would call it a fun movie.
But for those with a singular taste for batshit pulp run amok, Lifeforce needs to be seen to be believed: Naked French vampire girls from outer space! Hordes of extras as zombies marauding through downtown London! Lush Henry Mancini music over special effects way outside of Cannon Films’ budget!!! Patrick Stewart as an authority figure possessed by said naked French space vampire, trying to seduce an astronaut via makeout sessions?!
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… What is this movie? Why does it exist? We don’t know, but we’re probably more glad it does than the people who made it.
Magic
As much a psychological case study as as a traditional horror movie, for those who like their terror rooted in humanity, Magic may be the creepiest iteration of the “killer doll” subgenre since this is about the man who thinks his dummy is alive. Starring Anthony Hopkins before he was Hannibal, or had a “Sir” in front of his name, Magic is the brain child of William Goldman, who adapted his own novel into this movie before he’d go on to do the same for The Princess Bride (as well as adapt Stephen King’s Misery), but after he’d already written Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Marathon Man.
In the film, Hopkins stars as Corky, a down on his luck ventriloquist who tries to get his life together by tracking down his high school sweetheart (Ann-Margret). She’ll soon probably wish he didn’t bother once she realizes Corky believes his ventriloquist dummy Fats really is magic… and is determined to get him to act on the most heinous of impulses.
The Most Dangerous Game
Before King Kong, Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack released The Most Dangerous Game, one of the all-time great pulp movies, based on a short story by Richard Connell. This classic has influenced everything from Predator to The Running Man, The Hunger Games to Ready or Not.
It’s the story of a big game hunter who shipwrecks on a remote island with an eccentric Russian Count who escaped the Bolshevik Revolution (Leslie Banks). The wayward noble now drinks, studies, and charms his apparently frequent array of unannounced guests, including two other survivors from a previous (suspicious) wreck. The film quickly boils down to a mad rich man determined to hunt his guests as prey across the island for the ultimate thrill.
Read more
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By David Crow
Man hunting man, man lusting after woman in a queasy pre-Code fashion, this is a primal throwback to adventure yarns of the 19th century, which were still relatively recent in 1932. Shot simultaneously with King Kong, this is 63 brisk minutes of excitement, dread, and delicious overacting. Let the games begin.
Night of the Living Dead
“They’re coming to get you, Barbara!”
The zombie movie that more or less invented our modern understanding of what a zombie movie is, there is little new that can be said about George A. Romero’s original guts and brains classic, Night of the Living Dead. Shot in black and white and on almost no budget, the film reimagined zombies as a horde of ravenous flesh-eaters, as opposed to a lowly servant of the damned and enchanted.
Read more
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By Alex Carter
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By David Crow
Still visually striking in black and white, perhaps the key reason to go back to the zombie movie that started it all is due to how tragically potent its central conflict from 1968 remains: When strangers are forced to join forces and barricade in a farmhouse to survive a zombie invasion, the wealthy white businessman is constantly at odds with the young Black man in the group, to the point of drawing weapons…
The Others
Alejandro Amenabar (Open Your Eyes) wrote and directed this elegant ghost story. Nicole Kidman is superb as Grace, who relocates herself and her two small children to a remote country estate in the aftermath of World War II. Their highly structured life — the children are sensitive to sunlight and must stay in darkened rooms — is shattered by mysterious presences in the house.
Amenabar relies on mood, atmosphere and a few well-placed scares to make this an excellent modern-day companion to classics like The Haunting and The Innocents.
Ready or Not
The surprise horror joy of 2019, Ready or Not was a wicked breath of fresh air from the creative team Radio Silence. With a star-making lead turn by Samara Weaving, the movie is essentially a reworking of The Most Dangerous Game where a bride is being hunted by her groom’s entire wedding party on the night of their nuptials.
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It’s a nutty premise that has a delicious (and broad) satirical subtext about the indulgences and eccentricities of the rich, as the would-be extended family of Grace (Weaving) is only pursuing her because they’re convinced a grandfather made a deal with the Devil for their wealth–and to keep it they must step on those beneath them every generation. Well step, shoot, stab, and ritualistically sacrifice in this cruelest game of hide and seek ever. Come for the gonzo high-concept and stay for the supremely satisfying ending.
Sisters
One of the scariest things about the 1972 psychological thriller Sisters is the subliminal sounds of bones creaking and muscles readjusting during the slasher scenes. Margot Kidder plays both title characters: conjoined twins, French Canadian model Danielle Breton and asylum-committed Dominique Blanchion, who had been surgically separated. Director Brian De Palma puts the movie together like a feature-long presentation of the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. The camera lingers over bodies, bloodied or pristine, mobile or prone, with fetishistic glee before instilling the crime scenes in the mind’s eye. He allows longtime Hitchcock composer Bernard Herrmann to assault the ear.
De Palma was inspired by a photograph of Masha and Dasha Krivoshlyapova, Russian conjoined twins with seemingly polarized temperaments. There may be no deeper bond than blood, which the film has plenty of, but the real alter ego comes from splitscreen compositions and an outside intruder. The voyeuristic delight culminates in a surgical dream sequence with freaks, geeks, a giant, and dwarves. Nothing is as it seems and an out-of-order telephone is a triggering reminder.
Vampyr
A nigh silent picture, Vampyr came at a point of transition for its director Carl Th. Dreyer. The Danish filmmaker, who often worked in Germany and France at this time, was making only his second “talkie” when he mounted this vampire opus. That might be why the movie is largely absent of dialogue. The plot, which focuses on a young man journeying to a village that is under the thrall of a vampire, owes much to Bram Stoker’s Dracula as well as F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu from some years earlier.
Yet there horror fans should seek Vampyr out, if for no other reason than the stunning visuals and cinematography. Alternating between German Expressionist influences in its use to shadows to unsettling images crafted in naturalistic light, such as a boatman carrying an ominous scythe, this a a classic of mood and atmosphere. Better still is when they combine, such as when the scythe comes back to bedevil a woman sleeping, trapping us all in her nightmare. Even if its narrative has been told better, before and after, there’s a reason this movie’s iconography lingers nearly a century later.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
Some do not count Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, the seventh film in the Nightmare on Elm Street saga, as actually part of the series. As a gleefully meta exercise in self-awareness and self-critique, the film shirks off continuing the narrative from the last batch of Freddy Krueger movies, the last of which had the title Freddy’s Dead. Rather writer-director Wes Craven, returning to the series for the first time as director since the original, attempts to wrestle the horror icon back from pop culture. When Craven and actor Robert Englund created Freddy in 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, the fiend was a menacing, demonic child murderer. By 1994, he’d turn into a kid-friendly pop culture personality and huckster.
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With Englund on board, as well as the original film’s star in Heather Langenkamp, New Nightmare has the knotty concept of being about Langenkamp playing a version of herself: an actress who did a slasher movie 10 years ago and is still in some ways haunted by it. In real life she faced a stalker calling her at all hours of the night; in the movie, it’s Freddy. Or a Demon who’s taken the shape of Freddy… it’s complicated. The movie’s reach may exceed its grasp in terms of artistry, but at the very least Freddy was scary again for one last time. And the film’s ambition in crafting a waking nightmare of movies bleeding into our reality is still impressive.
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